#damn this took a long time big yeet forgive me

[strxngestlittlecup]

@thanaredreamtof

Felicity sat alone at the table in the corner, waiting for the book signing to begin. She couldn’t believe it, she’d only be in town for a few days and by pure chance had seen the ad for the book signing in the local newspaper that she had read that morning. Her favourite author would be there, and she brought along her own copy of one of their books to be signed. Flicking through the pages again she was lost in her own world when she heard the familiar voice picking her out. Dan. Well she hadn’t seen him in awhile. She lost her words as she saw him and stood up to greet him, “Dan?” She asked, the chances of such a meeting being so rare it caught her off guard. “It’s good to see you, please, please sit down.”

Once she stood up, he held out his hand to shake it, smiling at her. Not an unwelcome surprise. Far from it, in fact. “Felicity. It’s good to see you,” he told her, settling his things down so he could get more comfortable. “It’s certainly been a while. How have you been?”  After a moment, he signalled to the waitress to bring him a coffee so he would have something to do with his hands. It was difficult to look at her, but it was also difficult not to. “What have you been up to? Any news I can’t read on page six?” 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 280: I Am Red Riot

Previously on BnHA: The pro heroes over at Gunga Mountain struggled against Gigantomachia and the League until finally Midnight was all, “fuck it, let’s just put the kids in charge.” Momo immediately got to work organizing a sophisticated counteroffensive involving an exploding swamp, a bunch of sedative cans, and a massive coordinated team attack. I gotta tell you guys, it’s really something to watch a large-scale group attack in which all of the team members are actually competent. I don’t know what Japan put in the water when all these sixteen-year-olds were growing up, but that shit has paid off big time, and basically the only reason Machia hasn’t gone down yet is because he cheated and was all “sneeze” and the kids all got blown away because they are little and because he is really, really big. Anyway so then Dabi set the forest on fire because he loves doing that, and the chapter ended with Mina using her Acid Man attack to make herself FUCKIN’ FIREPROOF so she could charge through the woods ready to save the day and stuff!

Today on BnHA: Mina launches herself straight at Machia like the beautiful corrosive wild child she is, but then everything goes to shit when she recognizes him from that one time she almost got murdered while giving a strange man directions. Just when it’s looking like she might get killed for real this time, KIRISHIMA SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY AND SHOVES HER TO SAFETY AND IS ALL “BOTTOMS UP” AND HEAVES A LITERAL CAN OF WHOOPASS RIGHT IN MACHIA’S MOUTH. At this point the grown-ups are all “oh wow look at that, time for us to take over for you kids now, don’t worry we’ve got it all under control” because Oh Those Wacky Pros and all that, but at least Majestic finally deigns to show his face so that’s a plus! The chapter ends with us cutting back to the Jakku battle, where Tomura is curled up in a little ball all “curse you heroes, how dare you [checks notes] save people all the time”, which is a real take and a half. Anyway so things are looking up, which can only mean everyone is about to die. That’s how it works, right. Shit.

HOLY SHIT LOL

THIS IS MINA. SHE’S REALLY COOL AND SHE CAN MELT PEOPLE. um, the hell kind of tagline is that?? holy fucking shit?? “melt and succumb”?? IS THE SUCCUMB PART REALLY NECESSARY. IS THAT NOT ALREADY IMPLIED. it’s like saying “die and then perish”, which actually sounds really badass and I’m about to make it my new go-to threat actually so you know what never mind. where the fuck were we anyway

“IS EVERYONE SAFE” some absurdly bad-at-gauging-situations kid from class B is yelling while the forest is on fire and all the kids are recovering from having been catapulted fifty miles by King Dodongo’s windy yeet breath. of course they are safe, sweet child. of course everyone is absolutely fine, why the fuck would they possibly not be safe after something like that

KAMINARI NOOO MY POOR SWEET BABY

AT LEAST HE’S STILL CONSCIOUS ENOUGH TO MAKE STUPID JOKES. holy shit this baby got concussed to hell and back and then Machia turned him and the others into precipitation and he wasn’t in any kind of state to even try to land safely, I hope to god someone caught him

Sero is all “is there anyone still in range!” and damn, I like that he’s taking charge and trying to regain their momentum. he is so criminally underrated. I feel like he’s in the top six or seven of class 1-A kids who I would most trust to take charge. which is very high praise because that class has a lot of charge-taking kids

SPEAKING OF

it “probably” can’t get through her acid, she says. my god. sometimes the spirit of Plus Ultra just takes ahold of these kids and it’s like, I want to ruffle their hair proudly and then grab them by the shoulders and shake them vigorously because WHERE EVEN IS YOUR SELF-PRESERVATION WHY DO NONE OF YOU HAVE IT GODDAMMIT AIZAWA REALLY SHOULD HAVE EXPELLED YOU GUYS AFTER ALL

man. and yet I really do love this “be the one who can do it” stuff. what a heroic fucking attitude dfjfklks. I’ll just go put on my humongous sandwich board that reads GIANT FUCKING HYPOCRITE and go stand in the corner

damn it this week’s scan is annoyingly dark, it’s really hard to tell what’s going on but it looks like the pros are attacking Machia and the League at long last. way to go guys it only took you seven years but you finally hopped to it

MINA WHY IS THE ACID COMING OFF OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. PUT IT BACK!!!

I KNOW SHE’S NOT GONNA DIE DAMMIT BUT AHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH

okay what the hell is up with these weird zen proverbs though

“your fear stricken heart”, “the shortest path”, what the fuck even is this. whose thoughts are these. normally these translations are honestly decent enough but I gotta say this time around I’m totally being thrown for a loop lmao

(ETA: FYI I’m only just now realizing that he was saying the shortest path to Master, as in Tomura, not “master” as in to master something fjkldjskf lol some delayed reading comprehension there. so basically he’s just bitching about how annoying these little “flies” are proving to be.)

JESUS CHRIST

okay is it just me, or is Gigantomachia suddenly showing intelligence in his eyes instead of mindless animal instinct the single most pants-shitting thing you’ve ever seen?!! holy shit. the way he just LOOKS at her out of nowhere all of a sudden?? holy fucking shit DO NOT HURT MT. LADY OH MY GOD I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. AND DON’T YOU DARE HURT MINA EITHER!! JUST FUCKING DIE AND PERISH

but also though, is that recognition in Mina’s eyes?? because even though this dude is 80 feet tall now, her encounter with him a couple years back had to have been one of the more memorable experiences of her young life. damn I was wondering when this would finally come into play

OKAY YES THE NEXT PAGE IS A FLASHBACK OH SHIT

this has nothing to do with anything but Mina just has the prettiest hair, btw, and this “just woke up covered in acid” look is a particularly good one on her. it looks so soft and fluffy, like damn. this is like Shouto-hair-billowing-in-the-wind levels of pretty here

NOOOOO

oh my god holy shit?! putting her back in the school uniform to show the slip in her mentality is a PUNK MOVE, HORIKOSHI, and I respect the shit out of you for it you manipulative bastard. goddammit. bracing myself for the incoming wave of Mina feels... here they come... they’re a lot... let’s see if I can latch on to anything I can actually figure out how to describe in words

okay well here’s one, my respect for Mina’s bravery just went up like a thousand percent in this instant, because now we know this was actually such a traumatizing event for her that hearing Machia’s voice again years later immediately sent her into a full-blown flashback. she was that scared and yet she still stood up to him and didn’t hesitate. and now I’m remembering how her knees just buckled right afterwards, and just...

and this visual, though!! what a brutally effective way to show that in her mind she went right back to being that scared middle schooler again for a moment. god fucking damn. holy shit you guys is Kirishima fireproof because if he comes waltzing out of the woods next I don’t even know what I’m gonna do. lolo kids getting traumatized left and right this arc is fucking merciless

um eXCUSE ME!?!?!

YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT LET GO OF HER RIGHT NOW OR I AM GONNA LOSE IT!!

THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!

holy shit he could have fucking snapped her neck like that??! I don’t like this at ALL WHAT THE FUCK

OKAY SERIOUSLY

I’M GONNA NEED ANOTHER KID TO STEP IN HERE WITH A LAST MINUTE SAVE LIKE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, OR I AM GOING TO THROW MY COMPUTER OFF A FUCKING CLIFF AND MOVE TO THE DESERT AND BECOME A HERMIT AND NEVER READ MANGA ON THE INTERNET AGAIN

OH THANK GOD

TODAY WE SPELL “REDEMPTION” K-I-R-I... ETC. THERE’S A LOT OF LETTERS BUT YOU GET THE DRIFT!!!

holy fucking shit y’all. I mean, it’s not like it came out of nowhere, like the setup could not have been more obvious, but let me assure you that none of the predictability lessened the actual impact of this moment in the SLIGHTEST. Horikoshi really wrote a flashback scene one hundred and thirty five chapters ago and planted it, watered it once a day, and patiently waited for THREE LONG YEARS until he could finally harvest the badass fruits of his labor in the midst of his most epic arc to date. I’m so fucking hyped I’ll even forgive him for sacrificing Mina’s big moment and having her get rescued, because it’s such a good reversal. he didn’t freeze up this time. he promised himself he’d never freeze again and he didn’t and he saved her and god fucking damn. anyways so now Machia is going to treat him like a fucking action figure though but he’s a solid little dude he can take it hopefully

NO WHAT IS THIS!!! STOP KILLING MY MOOD!!!

she better not be dead!! SHE BETTER NOT FUCKING BE DEAD I WILL RUN MY PC THROUGH A PAPER SHREDDER AND GO AND LIVE ALONE WITH MY FEELS ON A MOUNTAIN IN TIBET

CHINTETSU!!

well we know he’s fireproof. another callback at the least expected of times lmao

so Tetsu’s all “yeah Kirishima’s not really all that fireproof but he totally ran over here anyway to save you. oh wait that probably wasn’t very comforting of me to say.” maybe that’s why it seems like he might not have actually said it out loud, now that I’m reading this over again. good call Tetsu

ARE YOU STANDING UP AND CASUALLY STRETCHING OUT YOUR BACK

I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE HOW MUCH I HATE THIS GUY RIGHT NOW. WE’RE REACHING LEVELS OF HATRED RESERVED FOR NAZIS AND PEOPLE WHO WALK TOO SLOWLY IN FRONT OF ME IN A GROUP SHOULDER TO SHOULDER INSTEAD OF SINGLE FILE SO I CAN PASS IN FRONT OF THEM. YOU’RE A FUCKING TOURIST IN NYC YOU PIECE OF SHIT

lmao he’s just dropping this random hero person and letting him fall to his doom wheeeeee

remind me to leave all of the League of Villains’ texts on read for the foreseeable future. goddamn. I still love you guys but also, fuck you so damn hard

OHO A LIL RED SCALY BOI ISN’T DONE YET!!

real talk, just between you and me, I’ll lower my voice so that Kirishima can’t hear. so uh. we all agree that even if Kiri is fireproof and squishproof, that little can of tranquilizer juice technically shouldn’t have been, right? but we’re all going to hush and pretend like it was anyway for the sake of not spoiling his big moment. even though I am crossing my arms and tapping my chin with my finger while doubtfully glancing to the side

anyway here he goes!

YEAH KIRI GO GETTIM [stage whisper] there it is, in his pocket. should’ve burned. we won’t discuss it

OH FOR FUCK’S

TOGA YOU LITTLE WIENER BUT WHAT’S THIS ABOUT “MY HALF” NOW????

DID HE GRAB MINA’S MID-AIR?? IS HE REALLY REACHING INTO HIS BACK POCKET AND FUCKING UNZIPPING IT RIGHT NOW WHILE HOLDING ON TO NOTHING AND PRESUMABLY FALLING THROUGH THE AIR. DID A LITTLE BIT OF OCHAKO’S QUIRK RUB OFF ON YOU OR WHAT

OH SNAP SON HE REALLY DID THE THING HOLY SHIT???

AND TOKAGE FLEW OVER AND SAVED HIM AND NOW TANKS ARE SHOOTING AT MACHIA, LMAO WHAT IS THIS. MOMO HOW MANY GUNS DID YOU MAKE

Shouji standing there trying to be useful any way he can. are eyeballs really that much more effective if you make them the size of tennis balls and hold them up above your head. legit question, I don’t really know how eyes work

okay after 45 seconds of googling this my impression is that no, they are not. well good on you for giving it the old college try anyway though Shouji

oH MY GODLKDLK?!?!

DID SHE SAY WHAT I THOUGHT SHE SAID, DID SHE SAY MAJESTIC, ARE WE GONNA SEE MASJKESLTKCI DSFLKJL

oh my god he really is the Magic Man dude??? TIME TO DUST OFF MY INVENTORY OF ADVENTURE TIME QUOTES

(ETA: AHH FATGUM AND GANG ORCA ARE THERE TOO YESSSS!)

“that’s enough depending on some interns” oh, okay. now that they’ve done all your work for you. I see, I see

so now Gigantomachia is LITERALLY UNHINGING HIS JAW I can’t fucking believe this dude you guys. everything he does is just like, ARE YOU SERIOUS

please go to sleep already. thanks to you I have my keyboard set to capslock as the default for the duration of this chapter

ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU FUCKING WAITED UNTIL MAGIC FUCKING MAN SHOWED UP TO TEACH US MAGICAL LIFE LESSONS AND NOW YOU’RE CUTTING BACK TO THE TOMURA FIGHT?? WHY DO WE KEEP LETTING THIS MAN GET AWAY WITH THIS

oh my god you guys they really fucking did it

I guess that Howitzer slash fire punch combo really was that potent huh

anyway so now Endeavor is standing there making a big speech instead of reaching into Tomura’s pocket and taking the bullets that he doesn’t know about and shooting him with one asap. dammit Endeavor

aaaaand Tomura is firing back with the wisdom of Shimura Fucking Kotaro of all people

well you sure convinced me. damn I don’t know what I was thinking. heroes suck you guys. how dare they help other people all the time

so now he’s all “PERIOD, EXCLAMATION POINT!!”

take that Endeavor. you heard the man. it’s not destruction without conviction, as god as his witness he will have you know it is destruction WITH conviction. something something the great sage Shimura “I hurt my family for absolutely no reason at all, fuck this ‘helping others’ bullshit” Kotaro. I hope you packed your textbooks because you just got SCHOOLED. I hope the person who ordered you signed up for delivery notifications because you just got SENT. I HOPE YOU LIKE CAPITALISM BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT OWNED. I HOPE YOU CHOSE PAPER AND NOT SCISSORS BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT ROCKED

what an absolutely, unreservedly bizarre place to end the chapter lol. we’re really just done with this week, just like that. Majestic showed up and Gigantomachia opened his chin like a garage door and Tomura is all “you may have won the battle but you suck” while he buys time for Aizawa to suddenly sneeze or something so he can make his terrible comeback and continue Horikoshi’s Traumatize Every Kid in Class 1-A 2020 campaign. what an arc this is my friends. what an arc

[themadauthorshatter]

If you're up to date with my posts, then you know what's about to happen.

I've read the books, WE'VE ALL READ THE BOOKS, but this is a somewhat fun switch-a-roo.

Expect a BUNCH of changes that I'll try justifying, especially painful ones, so bear with me🙏

OTP SWAP PART 1: THE CRUEL PRINCE!!!!

I'm starting with the first book for obvious reasons

Like before, we start in the mortal world with Ashley Duarte(yes, human!Cardan's last name is Duarte, but like I said, bear with me) making tacos in the kitchen while one of the MANY dogs and other animals wait for her to drop some food. Baby boy Cardan and his older half-sister Rhyia are watching some human stuff, maybe Looney Tunes or old Mickey Mouse cartoons, when the door is knocked on, which alerts the animals and wakes a half asleep Cardan; Rhyia does not wake up.

Cardan answers it and finds a cloaked Madoc at the door. Rather than ask who he is or call for his mother, he stares at this man, who kneels and asks as evenly as possible if his mother is home.

Cardan slams the door in his face, which prompts Ashley to ask why he did so.

Madoc BANGS on the door and shouts, "Asha!" and Ashley pales as she realizes who is at the door.

She demands Cardan to go upstairs as Madoc kicks the door open and walks inside, giving the same speech as the original, that Balekin told him she'd ran away with his daughter, that she killed a woman who was just as pregnant as her, that she ran away and married some lowly farm hand and blacksmith. He thought it was a lie, but nope. Here she stands.

Asha(which is her real name) is deeply ashamed at his words, and tries to pull Cardan away; an angry Madoc is an unstable Madoc.

Like before, Justin rushes in to save his family, but ends up getting kebabbed with his wife.

Rhyia does wake up to see both and Madoc spills the tea that she's his and needs to pack her bags because they're leaving, and Cardan's coming with.

Cardan, despite being seven, is outraged and tries to kick Madoc into oblivion with no avail. Rhyia, however, swears that she'll never love a monster like Madoc, who simply scoffs and tells her to wrangle the human and gather her things in half an hour, because they're leaving for Faerie.

Reluctantly, they do and they never see the mortal world again for a very long time.

Jump to the present day as Cardan, a now seventeen year old human heart throb, is getting prim and proper for a revel. His hair is getting styled nice, he's in a nice suit, he's wearing a cool belt that makes him look like he has a tail, and has ear cuffs that make his ears look pointed like a faerie.

He also has rowan berries on his wrist, because he doesn't want the necklace to be easy to see as a lot of his shirts show his chest.

He's dolled up and meets Locke, his brother that came around when Madoc married Oriana and had Oak. The two did not get along, at first, but they began to tolerate each ither as they realized they were the only humans in Faerie that were gentry kids.

Locke is more of a bard or a poet, always seen with a little book, and doesn't wear the same stuff Cardan does, so no pointed ear cuffs for him. He's also more accustomed to Faerie, being good with half truths and minor deception. He's on good terms with both Madoc and Oriana.

Cardan, however, is not on good terms with either of them, as he has tried multiple times to leave Faerie, with and without Rhyia with him, and every time ended with Madoc outside scowling at him and leading him back to his room. Still has that 'no kill' rule, but he's better with sneaking and a sword, having been able to lighten his steps so he could sneak past Madoc and his guards whenever he tried to leave. He's not bad with a sword, but he still has a lot to learn, being 17 and all. When he doesn't have a sword in his hands, he has an animal in them, i.e. a foal, a dog, or, at one point, a skunk that was calm enough to not spray him. Yeah, animal lover that can hold his own.

The two exchange banter and Locke shows show rare excitement for this revel, saying the two will have the time of their lives. Locke, who isn't as close with her, wonders where Rhyia is, but Cardan reveals she's not attending, instead going to visit some friends in the mortal world.

Her funeral as the boys saddle up with Oriana amd Madic and go to the revel.

Similar events occur, like Oriana telling the boys to be careful, Madoc talking to Dain and Balekin, and Locke leading Cardan through the revel so they can have a good time.

IT GOES DOWNHILL WHEN THE GREENBRIAR TWINS AND THEIR FRIENDS ARRIVE. Jude, her older sister Taryn, and their friends, Edir, a bard that can sing and play anyone under the table, Valerian, who's a sadist, and Nicasia, the princess of the Undersea.

Jude and Taryn may have the same face and body, but don't be fooled, Jude has horns, always wears a sword, and will slap you in a dress and then set it on fire without a second’s hesitation. Taryn, however, always has a bunch of flowers in her hair, always wears a dress, and uses words as her weapon. Did you know that she broke on of the most boisterous men in Faerie qith nothing but her words? True story. Edir is the guy that keeps them both in check, an order of Balekin's, which we'll learn later. He is also more of Jude's friend and Taryn's bed buddy, in SFW terms. Nicasia is Jude's friend, like FRIEND, and Valerian is the same, really, just more of an ass now that he has more even targets.

Everyone bows to these guys, even Cardan and a smirking Locke. That smirk vanishes when Taryn winks at Cardan, who Jude GLARES AT.

Locke feels the same way, cinfused and angry, but no time to think in it because Valerian storms toward a confused Cardan and grabs him by the collar, snarling that he can play dress up and make believe all he wants because it won't hide his plain hair or round ears or barn dog smell, so he shouldn't even bother.

Valerian throws him back and Locke rounds on Cardan, asking him what the hell that was between him and Taryn. Cardan brushes him off, as it was just a wink, not a lap dance. Before they can REALLY go at it, crying draws their attention and see that Jude just pincushioned someone who didn't bow, said someone nkw having a hole in their stomach and a slash across their torso. Taryn is annoyed, Nicasia and Valerian are trying not to laugh, and Edir, who's embarassed, is scolding Jude for losing it at a revel.

Jump to after the revel and the day of school. The boys do indeed get dirt kicked on their food, but instead of 'make me,' Cardan snaps, 'TRY me,' because Nicasia asks if he's as filthy as other human boys. Locke talks him down, but Valerian, kicking more dirt and even throwing some IN Cardan's face, asks if the two qould like them for friends.

Locke apologizes for Cardan, but Jude commands he prove it by dropping out of the tournament, it'll be less embarrassing than getting his ass beaten in front of everyone.

Nicasia spots one of the ear cuffs and pulls it off, asking if he stole it. Big mistake because the cuff burns her hand, as it is iron and iron hurts Faeries.

Cardan smirks and the group leaves, Locke scolding him for being stupid.

Later, at dinnner, after talk of Dain's coronation, Cardan, despite some minor objection from Rhyia, asks Madoc a question: May he please have a green sash for the tournament? Why? He would like to be a knight, please and thank you. Madoc chikes on his wine, Locke coughs to hide a laugh, Rhyia winces, and Oriana os shicked into silence.

Madoc gives it to him straight: he's not bad with a sword, he's good on his feet,and he's the best damned rider that anyone's ever seen, but no. He cannot compete for knighthood, on the count of being the furthest thing from a killer imaginable and just being in over his head.

Cardan protests that he can do just fine, but Madoc warns him to stop before he gets himself thrown in a dungeon instead if his room until the coronation of prince Dain.

Cardan relinquishes and we get the salt prank like before, except Locke is pissed beyond all reason at his foster brother. Cardan doesn't mind until he's grabbed by Edir and Valerian, Locke being pulled by the hair by Jude and both are thrown in the river, which has Nixies in it.

Thier supplies get yeeted, Locke gets pulled out by Valerian and is made to kiss Jude on the lips and both her horns, but, when asked, Cardan does not give up, vowing that he will never give up, which makes Jude laugh and the group leave.

Locke and Cardan walk home, get some baths, and go to bed, except they go to the mortal world with Rhyia and meet her friends Vivienne and Heather at the mall. Vivienne apologizes for Jude's behavior, and we learn that Rhyia is planning to leave Faerie, and is probably going alone.

The boys return and endure a lesson, but Jude pushes Locke's buttons, so Cardan pushes her into a tree. Challenge accepted.

TOURNAMENT TIME!! Cardan fairs wellin that Valerian is lazy, Edir is out of shape, and Jude got cocky, so he wins.

Jude fumes at him, later grabbing him by the tail on his belt amd demanding he beg for her forgiveness. He does... NOT! And spits in her face that she may push him down, but he'll pull her down with him, and it will hurt her like hell.

Taryn approaches him and expresses interest in him, saying that she once took both Edir and Nicasia from Jude because people just like a sensitive girl.

She leaves and the tournament eventually ends, which leads Cardan to return hime and meet Dain, who requested one of Madoc's people to tell Cardan one of Eldred's children had come for a visit.

Dain and Cardan get talking and Dain offers him something that isn't knighthood: spying. Plus one wish.

Cardan knows what he wants: to not be controled.

Granted, but Dain can still control him and the fruits of Faerie will still effect him.

Screwy, but deal, he's a spy now

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2!!!!!

[janexeu]

     though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JANE MÁRQUEZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SIX year old DEMIGOD ELEMENTARY EDUCATION MAJOR from NEW ORLEANS, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SACRIFICIAL & STUBBORN.

( she’s b-b-b-back on her bs : katya ! tis uhm ,,,, a lil bit of a chonk of an intro but ill try 2 b cute w it. any time u wanna yeet jus peep the gif again & forgive me bc Look At Her ! )

POWERS ( more info here )

hypnokinesis  — p much made her a glorified babysitter w lynch-esque wacko dreams. it got stronger naturally as she got older, but jus w herself n eventually the ppl shes real close w. its also gotten a lot better since comin to eonia 

seeing gods in dreams  — she doesnt hang out w em every fridays at tgifs but like ,,, if she had Pertinent Questions she cud smhw make it happen. found out abt her being a demigod at age 10 when she met hypnos

memory retrieval — shes got great memry of her own but bc she knows it can help w grief n all that, shes been learnin in eonia how to do it 4 others if they mayb wanted it

BIO POINTS 

her single ma died during childbirth so jane's been in the foster care system since 5ever. attempts at reunification nvr worked out but thankfully she got real lucky w her group home and foster families. twas stable enough to not emotionally scar her even further but the instability of it all was fosho a big ol’ lot and has influenced her rigidness in sum aspects of her life

she lived p much as a mortal even tho her powers r a lil freaky. never went to camp but it worked out bc all her abilities r internal and cannot be Perceived by others. she had a talk w hypnos abt what 2 do n he mentioned camps but also gave sum monster avoidance tips ( like rarely use ur powers, maybe learn self defense, yada yada ) n she jus ,,, did that so she cud continue livin real normal w the mortals. logistics of camp stressed her out esp bc shes livin w non-family n stuff yk it was All Too Much, miss her w the added demigod stress tyvm

got married at 23 to her childhood sweetums luis, but he ,,, died abt a yr later fr a car accident. coma for 2 weeks n jane p much slept the entire time in his hospital room, visitin his dreams n talkin to him. twas a life support sitch so they eventually decided to pull da plug whch was real sad but like she's processed it 2 da best of her abilities. her powers helped a lot in the coping too n she visits memories of him in her dreams smtms when it gets real sad then shes ok again bc life goes on n life is pretty uwu

bc of her bg round kids of all kinds, shes always been passionate abt em. always takin babysittin/tutor gigs and went to community college so she cud teach n then worked as an elem teacher. only started considerin goin 2 eonia 4 postgrad when she had a student who showed signs n strugglez of bein a demigod. she eventually got to talk to their godly parent 2 confirm n she was shocked pikachu meme, real concerned for all those youngins who hav no clue what to do ! or how to cope ! bc they cant facetime w the olympians lyk she can ! so cue her discussin eonia w luis a lot then a year after the accident, broke out the pro-con list again. took abt *checks watch* another yr til she finally decided to zoom 2 athens but then whoosh she did !

PERSONALITY

yearning ? idk her — shes can be a bit of a take it as is typa chick. can be a lil literal jsksj not dumb but like ,,, def doesnt read into things enuff to pine n long n year yk. some things might def fly over her head. she says Yes To Serotonin in this house. she dk the the mitskis n the sikens n the carsons ; its all mary oliver up in this joint. we just tryna luv life n be grateful folkz

le freak, say chic ! — control freak, that is. growin up in an unstable envi meant shed cling 2 stability n independence, wrvr she cud get it. so when it comes 2 the way she does things, she can be real a heel digger. also bc she has 2 deal w kids yk so it can b A Lot n shes v stern lyk dat. ofc she wont infantilize the eonians .,,,. or will she ? big sis vibes outta control. she means well tho always always means well. itll also b v hard to get her 2 giv up on sum1 bc life ? she luvs it n knows u can too

changes by david bowie — is decidedly skipped on the playlist. she doesnt like change !!! i mean she knows its inevitable but still not entire unavoidable. ever since she got out of the system, shes had a partner n her own way of doing things n its been workin out so why change it yk ? she says time may change me but jokes on u i can sorta trace time 

rip but im different — this goes out to all em whores in this house. she respectz ur hustle but like ,,,, not her thang. girl doesnt even get drunk when she drinks bc she doesnt rlly drink sksjsk doesnt like the taste of it, big baby ! but like she's Lived, its more like. ok tried it, not for me. thanks tho. also for all the meanies in the house, y’all perplex her. shes empathetic n wont show the judgement but smtms shes lowkey lyk .,., ur how old n u had all this goin 4 u n ur still so rotten ? how u actin like a 7yo w a trantrum ? scratch head, make it make sense

at least u tried — dad jokes, bad puns, tries to be big jokester but isn't funny. she's pretty tho so she gets away with it. idk wht else 2 say ur honor. shes the type thatll embarrass u w affection

well that was Awkward — probably sum1 abt her if  they see her actin a Fool bc shes in a foreign sitch or topic. when shes a fish outta water then she can be so ! easily ! flustered ! which is p much her in eonia. shes not new new but theres way 2 much godly shennanigans for her to wrap her head ‘round n sis has never gone to camp so its ice bucket challenge level shock from time to time still w da magics n lore

til death do us part — yknow when death cab for cutie said i knew that u wer a truth i wud rather lose than 2 hav nvr lain beside at all ? how abt when they wrecked me by rudely sayin love is watching sum1 die ? yes ? no ? nywy thats jane 4 ya. if she loves then shes in and if shes in then she is all in, luke danes stylez

was that a vivid enough picture or did i just word vom the same things agen n agen sjksjs jus know shes cute n sweet if a lil frustrating n annoying bc shes stubbornpants mcgee. may or may not have a slight compulsion to help fix other ppl ..,,.. someone set her str8 n tell her fix u by coldplay isnt it !!!  

OTHER INFO 

5′9″ born 4 october 1994, virgo sun n moon

not a freshie ! idk how long her program is but like ,,, lets ignore that 4 now ok jus kno that she been here a while

yogi & boxing enthusiast back at home. hc her mans got real into the martial arts w her when hypnos told her she gotta learn how 2 defend so that was one of their things : bonding by workouts so jane cud protecc herself if need be

her maiden name’s jane fulton. got her mommas surname but the name jane ? thats some jane doe bs some rando picked out for her which she hated at first but then seeing tarzan made her go hmmm, ok bet !

lgbtq+ alliance president ! identifies as pan

she met her late hubbie when they were abt 7ish, real friends 2 lovers cuteness. jane was there for him throughout his entire coming out & transition ergo her passion for the community esp queer kids bc she was That Cis Ally for her mans. wears her ring as a real lowkey necklace now

shes also real passionate abt sleep. will ask u how did u sleep last night p much every day u see her bc ppl spend like half their lives asleep catherine ofc shes gonna ask

her fave thing abt eonia ?  the whole siblings bit. shes had 2 make do w what she got n build a family from scratch so this ? she luvs it a lot let her give u kithes hypnos babies

shes p well versed in the greek thingies but only thru the knowledge mortals gets + dream info. after her realizin who she is, all things ancient greek jus sorta became her niche interest ykwim ? shes not like Super Learned abt it more like ,,, ok i gotta at least make Sum sense outta all this, gotta learn what i can. imagin how embarrassin it wud b 2 see a god in ur dream n then go : sorry to this man. nope. not jane, not her, nuh-uh 

luv languages : words, acts of service, physical touch !

useless hcs but she loves disney sfm ok. smtms dresses up as princess tiana for bday parties n shit bc shell do nythin 2 put a smile on the kids n babs faces

ya like jazz ? bc jane surely does ! adores motown & 60s music. nina simone owns her. no one drag peggy lee from 101 dalmatians ! not an important hc but i jus wanted to quote my bubble butt winged bee lover barry

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

children ! infants ! babies !

demigods that make her scratch head damn u live like this ? but also wud knife emoji to protect n care for. shes not the oldest on campus but shes been livin independently p much her entire life so she finks shes got a tight grasp on the myth that is Adulting  

srsly tho the Big Sis vibes is off the charts w this one. shell perserve u dumdums

baddie influencies !

convince her 2 get drunk at a party ! bc she never does. convince her to maybe try drugs ! or go hook up ! do smths impulsive idk jus smth new !

gl tho bc shes not rlly ,,, easily influenced But she can b reasoned w ! in general i fink its just gonna be a fun dynamic if y/m knows how to coax sum wildness outta her or w/e bc thotty yummy theyre hotty yolo rzning jus wont do w this gal. will most likely get argumentative like a big ol momma hen but if u win then ur winning big

Sleep Now or forever hold ur peace !

idk sum1 she helps w their messy sleep ? shes def not super public w it, surely knows her other siblings r Better at it but if  y’all are close, she probs enjoys doin it 4 ya. she runs her hair thru fingers a lot when she does it. like a lot a lot unless u tell her to get lost

lover boi, lover gorl, lover enby !

she can be a lil traditional when it comes to how she views rels. she wants all that meetcute courting bs ! no gender roles tho n u best be sure shes not constantly comparin w her late hubbie ,,, but she jus wants smth magical n 2 be wooed again yk ?

so yea ,,, crushers mayhaps ? sum1 who is tryin 2 woo her ? sum1 she had a meetcute w and now janes got lowkey heart eyes for em ? idk lotsa possiblities but pls keep in mind she is not good at the flirtings so hav mercy on her 

eonia tour guide !

or jus friends who like ,,, constnatly fill her in w all the godly stuff n whatnot. years of not goin 2 camps mean u miss out on a lot ! explore ruins w her n get her info her mortal educ didnt make her privy 2 yk 

head real empty atm i will think of sum n let y’all know when i do, but give us all the conekshunz. friends, enemies, the usual bit, lgbtq alliance peeps, lmk whats up whats done whats cookin we want it all

( shes p much a new muse n da result of me tryna bring in an emotionally healthy kid to this sad sad university. janes in a v good well-adjusted place rn n is my therapy muse bc that other bitch m** is a messy handful. but wbk life aint linear so mayhaps shit’ll hit da fan or one of y/m will ruin her lmfao press f pls ! but also color me eyes emoji bc we love to see it )

[riverboundao3ff]

Riverbound, Chapter 2

You open your eyes, and the first thing you see is a city.

It’s not just any city, that you conclude within a second of assessing the familiar shape of the uptown skyscrapers. This is Thrashthrust, the hellhole you called home for the better part of seven months. From your vantage point, you can see some poor bastard’s hive is on fire, and sirens are going off in the distance. A billboard with Trizza’s sneering mug lights up the entirety of some ghetto-ass looking street in Outglut.

You’ve never been so happy to be home.  

The first thing you want to do is march your butt down this hill and find the first person you know. Tact be damned, you need a friendly face and a hug.

But that wouldn’t do. If the wrong troll saw you, word would get back to the Heiress that the alien is back and you'd be dead faster than anybody could say “culling drone”. You aren’t just here to hang out and get high with Cirava, not anymore. No, you are back to help start a revolution. Everybody knows what happens to revolutionaries on Alternia.

Upon scanning the horizon, a familiar mountainside greets you, and even from several miles away you spot the conveniently dense forest that could probably hide a whole other city in it. Or a fleet of drones.

Or a cave.

Perfect. I’ll be there soon, guys.

You set off, navigating the Alternian thicket like you’d never even left in the first place. You don’t want to teleport out of fear you accidentally end up ten sweeps in the future and on one of the moons or whatever.

The lightness in your heart only lasts for so long, however, when you realize you have literally no idea what you’re going to tell your friends. What, you got kidnapped by a god? You accidentally got kicked out of reality as everybody who’s normal knows it and got forced into another time in place to befriend a bunch of human kids? Holy hell, did you think you could just waltz back into everybody’s lives like nothing ever happened?

“I fucking hate myself,” you mutter.

But seriously, what was the plan? Show up at the entrance and hope that whatever jade was on guard duty didn’t kill you on the spot? Granted, you’re pretty sure you can’t die permanently, but it would sure throw a wrench in your plans if Wanshi showed up to see what the fuss was all about and saw your dead body on the ground.

Well. If somebody other than one of your friends was there, you’d just have to do what you do best and sweet-talk them into letting you live. The cloister was pretty tight-knit and you’d spent a lot of time down there helping with the grubs, so as long as you didn’t do anything stupid…

Five minutes turned into twenty, then forty, and before you knew it a whole hour had passed, according to the watch John gave you not too long ago. Another rotation of the minute hand passed after that one, and at last you found yourself looking up the path that led to the main entrance to the caverns. You’d walked up this trail more times than you could count on both hands.

Your legs were killing you from the hike, so you took the opportunity to park your ass on a nearby boulder to take a breather. Despite how badly you needed to go to your friends, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it just yet.

Maybe some rehearsal would calm your nerves. 

You cleared your throat and took a deep breath. “Well, hey, guys… I… I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to leave, I promise. I was kidnapped. No, I’m okay. Sort of. I missed you, I missed all of you so damn much. I’m sorry.”

Even in the quiet forest, your words sounded empty. A lump grew in your throat.

God damn it. Just go up there. Go to them!

Your hackles tingled again, but unlike when you were with Vriska on her ship, this wasn’t the gaze of someone you knew and (mostly) trusted that was on you.

Everything happened in the span of a second.

A snarl ripped the air as something huge, white, and furry lunged out from the cover of the forest. Vriska’s dagger was out of its sheath and in your hand before you could even breath. As you ducked and the animal sailed past you, you lashed out with the blade and yelped when the force of it dragging through thick hide and flesh nearly ripped it from your hand.

You turn as the animal lands and whips around to face you, terrifyingly agile for its size. Your heart nearly falls out of your ass when you recognize that familiar broad head and beady black eyes. Oh, fuck me.

The cholerbear snarls in rage at both having missed its prey and having a decent cut across its shoulder. It charges again, and something you learned about bears a long time ago flashes through your brain.

Stand your ground. Make yourself look as big as possible. Scream and yell.

Praying to the Mirthful Messiahs that this wasn’t going to end with the cholerbear just chomping your ass in half like a steak, you jump up on your boulder and scream so hard your throat hurts.

Amazingly, the huge beast slows. Rearing up to its hind legs, it looks you dead in the eye and sniffs at you. You stare back at it, teeth bared and hopefully conveying that you were definitely not on the menu for tonight.

You didn’t want to kill it in case this was some kid’s lusus, but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t.

There wasn’t enough time to zap out of the way. One second you’re eye-to-eye with this massive son of a bitch, and the next a giant paw is coming down at your head.

The world spins around you. You hit something hard, a tree, before dropping to the ground with your left side on fire. The sensation is familiar enough for you to instantly know you’ve broken a rib or five.

You’re going to lose, sure enough as the moons will rise again tomorrow, but before you can die you lift your head and screech at the cholerbear in rage. When you come back to life, you’re going to yeet that thing into the nearest black hole.

The cholerbear thunders towards you like a tank, and you brace for the tear of fangs through skin and bone.

One second passes, then another.

A loud whine pierces your eardrums. You roll your head over to see the cholerbear staring at you-- no, something behind you.

Somebody screams. The voice is familiar. The cholerbear hauls furry ass back down the mountainside, followed by a gangly figure in an ankle-length skirt. The figure, a girl(?) skids to a halt at the edge of the clearing before turning back and sprinting towards you. She falls to her knees; you hear the impact through the ground. Strong hands turn you over.

A spectacled, tear-stained face is the last thing you see before you lose consciousness.

<>

Your name is LYNERA SKALBI and

oh, oh shit, no, no, nonono, this isn’t happening, not now!!!

Please, please stay alive, you have to stay alive!!!

please

The girl who alerted you to the smell of cholerbear is still standing at the entrance, probably still surprised that you just took off on her like that, but when you stumble back into sight with a bloody alien in your arms her eyes go very, very wide.

Shock, wonder, and then recognition. She knows who this is.

“Go,” is all she says before you take off running.

The alien’s tiny frame feels like nothing against your chest, like at any moment they might slip away. You hold them tighter and force yourself to run even faster. No, you weren’t going to lose your friend again. Never again.

Three tunnels down, one to the right, two lefts, down four flights of stairs. You all but bust down the door to your study and grab a blanket with one hand, supporting the alien with the other arm, before tossing it over the loungeplank. You pull off their backpack and set them down as carefully as you can. They’re still unconscious. They’re not moving. The coppery reek of their blood is growing stronger and stronger every time you breathe.

With your bloodpusher in your throat, you lean over and press your ear to their chest. The steady thumping of a pulse helps you to breathe, even though there’s no color in your friend’s already pale face. Fuck. You’d helped them treat injuries in the past; their species wasn’t as durable as yours and they got banged up a lot, but you know nothing about how to help with something like this. For all you knew, they were already dying.

Something like ice freezes in your guts. No, that wasn’t going to happen.

You suck in another huge breath and analyze what had just happened. You had found them underneath a sprucesteel tree, and they weren’t unconscious yet but getting close. Cholerbears liked to toss their prey around before eating it.

Silently begging your friend’s forgiveness for the invasion of privacy, you yank up their hoodie to expose their bare torso. Unfortunately, you find what you’re looking for on their left side. Everything from the armpit to their hip was a mess of blood and black and purple bruises. Yep, they’d been thrown against that damn tree.

Good news: you knew that ribs mostly healed on their own, or at least troll ribs. Bad news: they were still bleeding their strange alien copper-blood, a lot of it, and if the wrong troll saw that then the both of you would be in trouble. You’d gladly stab a bitch to protect your best (platonic) friend, but still…

They need stitches, you conclude.

You do not know how to do stitches.

But there is somebody you know who can.

Any other time, you’d be cringing away at the thought of going to him for help, but this was your friend’s life on the line. If you needed to, you would drag that bastard down here by his horns.

“I’ll be right back,” you promise the alien, and then once again you’re running like your life depends on it for the door. Flying back up the stairs, you take a right on the next level and sprint down the corridor to the last room on the left.

No time for hesitation. You ball your hands into fists and rail on that door like it insulted the Mother Grub. “LANQUE! Lanque, open the door! I know you’re in there!”

Something bangs from inside the respiteblock, and a muffled curse is all the warning you get before the door swings open to reveal a very pissed-off Lanque Bombyx, looking like he just woke up from a nap.

Any other time you’d feel a prickle of victory at catching Lanque in his sweatpants, no signature eyeliner to be seen, but now was not that time.

“I need your help,” you get out.

“What the hell? Why me?” he spits. “You know I’m on duty first thing tomorrow-”

“I don’t care! You know first aid, right?” you hiss, shoving your face right up against his.

He jolts back, lips peeling back to reveal wickedly sharp fangs, but then his eyebrows furrow. Something on your face must have told him what he needed to know, because he signals you to wait with one pointer claw before darting back into his respiteblock. Not three seconds later he emerges with a mediculler kit and an ice pack.

You take off, trusting him to keep up with you. You’ve never been more grateful for everybody else to have been off doing whatever. If Bronya saw you two right now, actually working together she’d probably go into bloodpusher failure and die on the spot.

The second you open the door Lanque stiffens, and you know he’s smelling the blood. You shove past him and rush over to your friend. The blanket you’d tossed over the loungeplank has a decent-sized blood stain underneath the alien.

You hear him cautiously slink inside, and then a shocked yell reverberates off the walls.

He’s on his knees beside you before you even have the time to jump, eyes wide with horror. “What-- how?! Fuck, why is there so much blood?”

You’re completely taken aback. Lanque had been close with the alien, too? How come you had never heard about this?

“Their left side,” you say. Lanque pushes the hoodie up and growls. Setting the mediculler kit and the ice pack down, he shoves his arms underneath the alien’s shoulders and legs and picks them up, before rotating them around so that their injured side is facing you and Lanque. With a surprising amount of precision, he then proceeds to wiggle their arm out of the hoodie sleeve and tuck it out of the way.

“Hand me the scissors, I need to get the sports bra off,” he orders.

“You what?”

“The gash goes underneath the fabric.”

You splutter something incoherent, feeling your face heating up, but you pop open the mediculler kit and hand him the scissors. He takes them from you and cuts through the sports bra in two clean swipes. Then, he grabs a rag from the kit and starts cleaning away the blood from the gash.

“Go ahead and bandage that other cut below it. That one doesn’t need stitches,” Lanque mutters. Keeping the rag pressed against the gash on the alien’s upper torso, he grabs a small container with the needles in it. Somehow, he holds the needle steady between his fangs, and with his free hand he threads the string through the top and ties it off. The small part of your thinkpan that isn’t losing its shit over your injured friend is a little impressed (how on Alternia did he learn how to do that?), but you decide you’d made him teach you how to do that later. Thankfully, by the time you clean the other lesser wounds they aren’t bleeding nearly as much, and you bandage them up without a problem.

It takes several long moments for Lanque to stitch up the gash. Ultimately, you decide it’s for the best that your friend is unconscious at the moment, because that really looks like it hurts.

You can’t help but wince when Lanque tugs on the thread to tighten the bonds. Immediately you expect him to taunt you for it, but when you glance up at him it looks like he’s in pain, too. It’s such an unexpected sight you nearly freeze in place.

He finally ties off the stitches, tapes a cooling bandage over it to numb the surrounding skin, and grabs another blanket to throw over them.

Then, you just… sit together.

The longer wand on the alien’s timeteller moves several ticks to the right before Lanque breaks the silence.

“Where did you find them?”

“... Natiri said she smelled cholerbear and blood. I went outside to investigate and found them half-unconscious underneath a sprucesteel tree, with the cholerbear about to kill them. I chased it off and brought the alien to my study. Then I went to go get you because I don’t know how to do stitches,” you tell him.

Lanque nods and then presses his forehead to the alien’s shoulder.

Again, you’re stunned by how much Lanque seems to care about the alien. “Were… are you two close? I didn’t realize you kept in contact with them.”

“... I did. Up until they disappeared a few perigees later we’d hang out and go to parties. Bronya liked that I was friends with them because she was under the impression they would keep me out of trouble.” He snorts.

“Did they?”

“More than I’d like to admit.”

You’re tempted to scold him for dragging your beloved friend into his messes, but Lanque is still holding on to the alien like a lifeline, and so are you, and so for once you keep your mouth shut.

“Daraya and Wanshi are going to be so happy,” you whisper.

A smile makes Lanque’s fangs flash in the light of the bioluminescent fungi growing on your ceiling. “Our friend is back.”

[krreader]

BTS scenario → inspired by without me by halsey - the aftermath.

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: language ; some have an open ending genre: angst previous: x

a/n: I’ll just yeet myself out of here now (: (masterlist is in my bio)

kim seokjin

“Doctor (Y/L/N)! You won't believe who your next patient is!” one of the nurses came running, then another, until three of them, all younger than you, were standing in front of you with the biggest grins ever.

“Is it.. an idol?” you smiled as well as you put down the file of the previous patient, knowing only all too well that the only time these girls reacted that way was when an idol was sitting in the emergency.

“Not just any idol, though! It's..-”

“No, don't spoil the surprise!” one of her colleagues nudged her, then turned her head to look at you, “Let us know if you need someone to draw blood or something.”

And while these three were arguing over who would be the one to get to touch the incredible idol that was apparently here, you just walked into the room he was in with a grin.

Maybe you should have read the fucking file first, though.

“Sorry it took so long, I'm Doctor..-”

“(Y/N)?”

Wow. Life must really hate you.

You had only cried in your car because of him last week and now he was sitting in the fucking hospital you were working at? Fantastic.

“Jin,” you blinked a couple of times, but tried to stay friendly, even if he could tell that the smile you showed him was fake, “How can I help you?”

“You.. became a doctor?”

“I did,” you opened the file and tried to focus on that instead of him, “So.. why are you here?”

He wanted to ask you so many questions. Wanted to know how you've been, how life had been and what you were up to nowadays. He wanted to know so much, but he felt like you weren't really interested in talking to him.

He couldn't blame you for it after what he had done.

So he quickly described his problems instead.

For a moment you thought about asking another doctor to come in here and take a look at him, but you didn't want to give him that. You wanted to show him that you were over it.

Yet, as you were walking closer to him, you realized once again that the promise you once made him to always love him was still standing.

“Breathe in,” you whispered, pressing the stethoscope against his naked chest. The first thing you realized was how fast his heart was beating. Probably just as fast as yours was. And you doubted that was because of a medical condition.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered back, staring at your face.

“Don't talk,” because it'll bring back all those memories. Because it'll break me again. Because it'll make me do something I might regret, “Just breathe..”

So he didn't say anything else. At least for now.

But once you figured out that everything was alright with him and that he just needed a break for a day or two because he was so exhausted, he couldn't help himself anymore.

“Can you please look at me?”

“I'm busy, so if there's nothing else,” but when you wanted to walk past him, he quickly stood in your way and made you look up at him. Finally.

“Please.. let's.. talk.”

“There's nothing to say, Jin. You left me for this life you are now leading.”

“I left you because I didn't want to drag you into this life with me. I wanted you to be happy.”

“Well.. didn't really work,” you tried to walk past him again, but he took a step to the side once more.

“I never stopped thinking about you. I never stopped loving you, (Y/N). And.. I think you never did either.”

“You broke my heart, Seokjin,” you said straight away.

“And I'll never forgive myself for it,” he carefully cupped your cheeks and looked directly into your eyes, “But.. maybe I can heal it again.”

You knew it. You knew talking to him would make you do something you shouldn't do.

Because when the nurses from the ER knocked and peaked into the room, they found you and Jin kissing, all three of them staring at you with open mouths and disbelief in their eyes.

min yoongi

“We're very pleased it all worked out this way, Mister Min,” the previous owner of the apartment gave Yoongi the keys with a huge grin, “We hope this apartment will give you as much happiness as it gave my wife and me.”

“Thank you,” Yoongi bowed respectfully and waited until the old married couple was gone before he stepped into his new, luxurious apartment.

It was big, it was bright, it was everything he once wanted to own when he didn't have anything.

“We'll have this really big and fancy apartment one day,” he heard you laugh in the back of his mind, quickly shaking his head to get rid of the image, “And then we'll marry and have a loooot of children.”

“I think one will be enough,” Yoongi had laughed as he had pulled you closer in this tiny bed he and you used to sleep in when all you two had was each other.

'I did it, (Y/N),' he thought sadly as he walked into the bedroom and stared at the huge bed, 'I got our dream apartment.'

And even though he had been excited before, he sank down on the foot of the bed and started crying.

Because this was never what he wanted.

Not like this..

“Don't cry, baby,” Yoongi turned his head and looked into your eyes, knowing damn well that his mind was playing tricks on him again.

“I'm so sorry..”

“I always told you you'd make it, didn't I?”

“It wasn't worth it, though. I should have.. I should have just stayed in that shitty apartment with you and I should have married you and..-”

But when he blinked, there was nobody next to him. 

There never was.

Just an empty space that you used to occupy.

jung hoseok

“Hyung? We're going out to eat.. do you want to come with us?” Taehyung asked carefully, standing in the doorway to the balcony.

“No, I'm good. Enjoy yourselves, guys,” Hoseok grinned, trying his damned hardest to make it look convincing. And even if it didn't convince him, Taehyung decided to go either way.

Whatever it was that Hoseok had been dealing with these past days, he felt like he didn't want to talk about it.

And as soon as the apartment was empty, Hoseok pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts, calling someone from his past that he never thought he’d talk to again.

“Hello?”

“Kira? Uh.. hey, this is.. Hoseok.”

A moment of silence, before Kira started laughing, “Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Please, I just need a minute.”

“You dump my best friend, don't talk to her for years without even giving her a reason and then you call me?”

“I saw her.. last week at the airport.”

“Yeah, she told me. She also told me how you just walked right past her like she was thin air.”

“What was I supposed to do? There were cameras everywhere!”

“What you were supposed to do was not break her heart, you fucking idiot. She did everything for you, she's the fucking reason you're where you are right now and you just leave her without a word! Do you know how long she cried about you? How often she called me in the middle of the night and bawled her eyes out? How often she stood in front of your fucking company and begged them to let her in because she needed to talk to you?”

Hoseok closed his eyes and let out a sigh, “I never wanted to hurt her.”

“You didn’t hurt her, Hoseok. You broke her.”

He knew he had, but hearing her say that made him almost let out a sob.

The thought of you lying in bed and crying over him, the one that he loved so much and the one that he had wanted to spend the rest of his life with once.. maybe still did.

“I want to apologize. To her.”

“I won't give you her number.”

“Kira, please..-”

“No. She almost fell back into that hole when she saw you last week, I won't let you drag her in there again. She worked so hard to finally get over you, I won't let you ruin it all again just because you finally realize that you made the biggest mistake of your life. (Y/N) will find a good guy one day, one that will see that she's the best thing he could ever have and will have a wonderful and happy life. And you're not that guy anymore, Hoseok.”

“I understand, really, I just want to..-”

“You don't have any rights anymore when it comes to her. She suffered enough because of you,” and with that, she ended the call.

And when he wanted to call her again a few minutes later, she had already blocked his number.

“Who was that?” you asked as you walked out of her bathroom, still drying your damp hair.

“Wrong number, I think,” she looked up at you with a smile, “Some weird guy.. I don't know.”

“Hm.. okay,” you smiled as well and walked into the kitchen, completely oblivious to who she had just talked to.

“It’s for the best,” she muttered to herself as she watched you make yourself some tea, still smiling.

kim namjoon

This was probably a really stupid idea and he would either cause you only more pain or would get slapped.

But he had to try.

And so with shaky hands and a bouquet of flowers, he pressed his finger against your door bell and waited a couple of seconds before you opened the door.

You looked confused at first who would show up at your doorstep so late, but when you saw who it was, your expression quickly turned into something else.

Hurt. It was always hurt.

“What do you want here?”

“I'm.. flying back to Seoul in three hours.”

“Good. Enjoy your flight.”

But when you wanted to close the door again, he quickly put his foot in between, “Please.. I need to talk to you.”

“Why?”

“Because.. I want to explain everything to you. Please, just let me say what I want to say and I promise that I will go straight away after that.”

Maybe it was that foolish girl inside you that you thought had died when he left you that opened the door a little wider after a few moments, or maybe it was just that part of you that finally wanted the closure you never got.

Whatever it was, Namjoon and you ended up sitting on your couch and you listened to him attentively.

“When BigHit decided that I would be the leader of our group, I knew that things would change for me. They told me straight away that if I agreed to it, I would have to put family and loved ones behind me. They would never come first again, because it would always have to be BTS that would have to be my number one priority. That's when I realized that I had to end things with you. Not because you weren't good enough anymore or whatever it is that you think, but because I loved you too much to make you not my number one priority anymore. The thought of you sitting at home and waiting for me to make an appearance hurt me so badly that I decided it would be better to break up with you. I figured that you would find someone better than me eventually that would treat you like I treated you before BTS.”

You blinked a couple of times before you said, “And why weren't you honest with me then? Why didn’t you tell me all that when you broke up with me?”

“I don't know,” he said honestly, “I would like to blame it on the fact that I was young and stupid and didn't know what I was doing half of the time, but.. the truth is that I just don't know.”

Just when you wanted to say something else, his phone started ringing.

Since it was on the coffee table you could see that it was his manager and you fully expected him to pick it up and just leave.

Instead, Namjoon declined the call and turned his phone on silent.

“I don't think you realize how much you hurt me, Namjoon,” you whispered.

“I do. That's why I'm here today. Because even if you'll never be able to forgive me, I wanted you to know that I never left you because I didn't love you enough or because you weren't worth it. Because, (Y/N), you were always worth more than anything else in my life and.. you will always be the only woman I'll love.”

He didn't expect you to jump into his arms and forgive him, even if he would have liked that.

But instead, you two talked for as long as you could and you didn't kick him out in the end, but waved him off instead.

And when he got a text from you about three weeks later asking him if he was doing okay, Namjoon felt like it was a good start.

park jimin

Before, Jimin enjoyed all of this. Touring, fan signs, talk show appearances. Everything that was part of the idol life.

But ever since he met you at that New Year's party, his life was a lot duller.

“I loved you so much,” he still remembered how you had cried when you had said that. And every time he remembered it, tears of his own started pooling in his eyes.

“Jimin? Are you okay?” Namjoon sat down next to him on the private jet, a worried look on his face.

Nobody knew about you. Not even his brothers.

Maybe it was time to change that.

“Do you ever regret this life, hyung?”

That worried Namjoon even more. The second his band members started talking about this topic was the second his alarm bells were going off, his mind already drifting to disbandment or one of the members leaving.

“Why?”

“I mean.. do you ever think about what your life would have been like if you hadn’t made certain decisions?”

“Sometimes,” he answered truthfully, “But then I remember how lucky I am to be here with you guys.”

Jimin turned his head to look out the window, the early morning sun shining into his face, “I had a girlfriend before all of this, you know? (Y/N).”

“You.. never mentioned her,” he mentioned a few other girls he was dating or interested in, but never (Y/N).

“Because.. she was the reason I became an idol. I was so self-conscious before her and she made me see that I could do it. She made me realize that I was good enough,” Jimin lowered his head and brushed his fingers over his knuckles, “When we became popular I let it get to my head. I broke up with her without even giving her a proper reason, because I thought that she wouldn't fit into my idol life.”

“Why are you thinking about all of this now?”

“I ran into her at the New Year's party we were at and I realized just how badly I hurt her. It.. made me realize how much I really loved her. How badly I once wanted to spend my life with her and how much she wanted the same,” Jimin laughed humorlessly and threw his head back against the seat, “And I just dropped her like she was nothing.”

“You had an opportunity, Jimin. She has to understand that.”

“But she did, hyung. She continued to support me throughout the first year after my debut, even if I barely had time anymore. And then when we started getting our first wins..-” Jimin shook his head, “For the first time in my life, I wish I could turn back time and not audition. I wish I had just turned around to look into her eyes instead, smiled, grabbed her hand and told her that I didn't need this. Because I only need her. I wish I had just chosen her.”

Namjoon got more alarmed by the second, but wanted to support his friend, not band member, more than anything, “Maybe you could find her when we get back? See if you can talk to her again.. maybe you can fix things between you two..”

He doubted it, honestly, but the thought of a possible happy ending between you two made him search for you and call you in the end.

It was worth a shot.

kim taehyung

“Why did you have to get a new bed again?!” Jeongguk moaned in exhaustion as he tried to move Taehyung's old bed to the side.

“Because the old one wasn't comfortable anymore. Now push!”

It took them at least fifteen minutes to push it to the side and then even longer to disassemble it.

And while Taehyung was busy with that, Jeongguk's eyes fell on a box that he found beneath the bed. A box that looked old and dusty and like it hadn’t been opened in a long time.

At first he wanted to laugh, wanted to tease his hyung about having found Taehyung's old porn stash, but when he opened the box it wasn't porn that he found.

“Kookie, can you get me..-” Tae turned his head around and found Jeongguk holding a picture of you and him in his hands.

“Who's that?”

“Nobody,” Taehyung quickly snatched it out of his hand and put it back inside the box, getting up to hide it in his closet like it was the most precious thing in the world, “And don't snoop around.”

He was too defensive. Jeongguk could immediately tell that there was something wrong.

“You.. looked happy in the picture.”

He was. The happiest he's ever been, probably.

“I'll marry you when we're older,” he had said with a grin that day.

“When you're an idol and we have a lot of money and can pay for a really fancy wedding?”

“Exactly!” he had grabbed your hands and kissed your knuckles, “Only the best for you.”

A sad smile spread on his face when he remembered the day, “I was.”

“Who.. is she?”

Taehyung had never talked about you. To anyone. But now he was sliding down his closet doors, the picture still between his shaky fingers.

“Her name's (Y/N),” Jeongguk didn't really know how much he should ask, but Taehyung opened up all on his own in the end anyways, “She was.. my first girlfriend. The reason that I auditioned.”

“You never mentioned her..”

Tae's fingers gently brushed over the picture, more specifically, over your face, “I wanted to marry her. I wanted to wait until I've had enough money to buy her a really expensive engagement ring and then I wanted to ask her.”

“She.. said no?”

“No. She would have said yes,” he smiled sadly, “I broke up with her. The company.. didn't think that (Y/N) would be good enough for me.”

“What?”

“They made me choose. Her or BTS.”

“You chose.. us?”

“There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her, you know? About.. what she's doing, if she's okay.. if she's happy,” a lonely tear rolled out of Taehyung's eyes and dropped onto the picture, “I wanted to spend my life with her so badly, Kookie.. but back then.. I thought choosing BTS was the better option. I thought that I had worked too hard for it to ignore that opportunity. When in reality..-”

Jeongguk was by his side in an instant, pulling him against him and holding him as he was crying against his chest.

It meant a lot to him that Taehyung had told him all of this.

So much that he tried his damned hardest to find you over the next couple of weeks, just to make sure you knew how much Taehyung regretted his decision.

And finally...

“Hello?”

“Uh.. hi! Is this (Y/N)?”

“It is.. who are you?”

Jeongguk grinned from ear to ear, “A friend.. hopefully.”

jeon jeongguk

“I don't understand.. why did you never tell us about her?”

“I tried to forget about her as much as she tried forgetting about me,” Jeongguk said honestly, “I thought that it would be easier that way.”

“But you loved her!”

“More than you can imagine..”

Jeongguk had ran after you earlier, but you were too quick and you didn't want to talk to him anyways.

Unfortunately though all the feelings he once had for you came back now like a wave hitting him straight in the face.

Seeing you again made him realize that he never stopped loving you for even just a second.

“Maybe we can find out her number!” Jimin said, “You could call her again!”

“Or maybe you can ask her if she wants to come over! I'll cook for you guys!” Jin offered.

And it was kind of them to want to help like this, but this wouldn't be something that could ever get fixed as easily as they thought.

Jeongguk broke your heart and he doubted that he could piece it back together.

“I don't think that's a good idea. She deserves to be left alone after everything that happened.”

“She deserves the truth,” Yoongi said, “It's not like you dropped her because you didn't think she wasn't important anymore after we became successful and that's what she seems to think. You left her because you were afraid.. afraid of what might happen if people found out.”

“Doesn't matter now. It's been years.”

“I agree with hyung. She deserves the truth, Jeongguk. What she does with it is her decision.”

Maybe they were right.

Maybe it was worth a shot.

But it still took Jeongguk more than a month to finally find the courage to call you and ask you if you could see each other.

And even he was surprised when you had agreed.

“Why did you never say that? Why did you let me think you didn't love me anymore?” you asked when he told you the truth behind your break-up.

“Because I'm an idiot,” Jeongguk shrugged, “If I could do all of it again, I would be honest with you. All I can do now, is be honest with you now..”

And you appreciated that.

Even if it might not change anything.. but only time could tell..

[saidbyes-blog]

( FRIEND OF GRANT'S ) ebony harrison ( 24 / she/they ): demigirl & friends who seemingly clicked despite emotional distance, and acquaintance of mallory's. ( nina nesbitt ) ( PACE / 20+ / SHE/HER )

hello ! so, i’m typing this up straight after acceptance ( lmao, talk about eager ) so hopefully anything i inevitably forget, i can add between now and when this’ll actually be posted, so you actually have some decent info to work with ! but i’m pace ( which is obviously an alias but,,,, pls just call me pace ! ) and my pronouns are she/her ! and moving on to the one you actually wanna know about... 

—– ❀ okay, so !! as you can see above, ebony is a friend of grant’s ! on the surface, they seem to just ‘get’ eachother, but of course ebony is completely oblivious to who he really is and what he’s capable of. however, because ebony isn’t the most open and uhh,,, Not-Closed-Off as people, it kind of works ? in a,,,, neither of them ask too many questions kind of way ? it’s mutual, y’know ?she kind of sees him as a guy who’s Not Like The Other Guys ( while lowkey a voice in the back of her head is like ALL GUYS ARE LIKE THE OTHER GUYS ) and they just seem to Understand eachother. but ebony can be a sceptical little fuck, and she’s generally just Wary in general sometimes, but she also wants to believe that some people are good and their intentions are as they seem and it’s Pure. even if she EVER got creepy vibes from grant, she’d either be like CREEP EVIL NASTY BYE SEE YA or convince herself she’s making it up because of relationships with people in the past. but ofc, the worst part is that he’s never given her any reason to think grant is anything but just a nice, charming guy who’s maybe a little pretentious and quiet but that’s basically the worst thing about him, and if it were to happen now, she’s in too deep for it to be a red flag. yoikes. but we all know that to everyone else he just looks like a,,, Nice Guy. either way, he’s a friend, and their lack of actually being as close as they may seem isn’t that weird for her ( which i shall explain in a different bullet point bc this is long ! )

—– ❀ she isn’t a complete plum, and won’t turn a blind eye forever, but in the recent months/so far, she’s come to grant’s defence, thinking that anybody who’s pointed the finger at him is a) unoriginal and b) has clearly never met him. she thinks it’s cruel and unnecessary. like, her pov is that he lost his girlfriend, who told the story of what happened/was going to happen to her, and it’s as simple as that, in a ‘why would mallory write about that otherwise’ kind of way. she’s applying logic to it and i’m like oh,,, honey,,, you sweet summer child,,, plus, grant’s manipulative ass is looking all kinds of charming and innocent and whatever. HOWEVER, things slowly unfolding and eventually ebony beginning to question things ! yes pls ! internal conflict !

—– ❀ however, ebony also briefly vaguely knew mallory ! she attended a few of her yoga classes ages ago, and it’s a complete coincidence that ebony knew the both of them. if/when grant ever mentioned mallory to ebony, the name wouldn’t have clicked, and since she never met her outside of the classes, it took her a while to click why mallory looked so familiar when everything blew up after her death. it kind of weirds her out that someone she knew was murdered, and that it never clicked that Grant’s Girlfriend was the one who taught those yoga classes, but it’s just a complete coincidence ! 

—– ❀ TW FOR ABUSE MENTION: ebony hasn’t read the book, and doesn’t plan on it. she might one day if she’s feeling impulsive and self destructive, but because of the subject matter, she’s avoiding it. it had nothing to do with being grant’s friend ( even though most people would probably question if it’s the Moral and Ethical thing to do, that doesn’t even cross her mind -- she’s not the most moral of people tbh ) and has more to do with the fact that she’s been in an abusive relationship in the past, herself, and she’s just like............nope. ( / end of tw ! )

—– ❀ she didn’t grow up in new york, and has only called it home for for a few years. but she also travels a lot, and is very flaky, and can disappear for periods of time just to show up announced a few weeks later. it’s not weird for her to drop off the grid for a bit ( sounds safe, ebs ) and it’s not weird for her to ditch social circles and local hangouts in general and just ghost, and she’s also lived in several different states across the country. she cannot commit to anything ever, including places. it’s actually odd that she’s been in new york for so long, but she loves the energy and the spirit of the city. and it’s massive so if she tires of a certain spot, she can drift elsewhere ! plus.........plot convenience. 

—– ❀ sometimes she might feel a little out of place tbh ! she’s not an academic and she definitely didn’t come from money, and doesn’t have an abundance of it now, either. she’s a bartender, as that’s always her job when i play her lmao, but i might give her another too but i’m still flipping back and forth so..... tbd !

—– ❀ TW FOR DEATH: a bit of background: she was born in california to amelia robinson & david harrison, a young couple who hadn’t been together all that long when they found out they were expecting, but were madly in love nonetheless. david was completely devoted to his daughter, but he sadly died when she was seven. after his death, some hard truths to swallow came out about him, and her already distraught mother was even more heartbroken. life was pretty rough after his death and her mother couldn’t really cope anymore and became someone that ebs ended up not really recognising, and she became kind of cruel. she’s since forgiven her mother for who she became and therefore how she then treated her daughter, but they’re not close. ebony left cali for a few years after turning seventeen, and when she returned at twenty, she found her father’s broken watch, which she sometimes still wears now. it looks out of place on her thin wrist, especially since the damn thing doesn’t work, but she likes it nonetheless and refuses to get it fixed. in ways like that, she can be,,, a little pretentious ( again, why her friendship with grant works ) and while we’re on the subject of that..... ( / tw ends ! )

—– ❀ her personality is a little messy. she can be very........difficult ? especially as a friend ? though she’s kind-hearted and forgiving and can be very gentle, she’s also temperamental and vague and selfish. she doesn’t mean to be selfish, but she just is. it’s,,, probably infuriating to some people ? as well as the fact that she’s very easily misunderstood due to being hard to understand. yet she also doesn’t like people making the effort to try and understand. yet also wants someone in her life who does understand her. like.........she wants something, but won’t let anybody make the steps to get the thing she wants ? like.............jfc, ebs. she also cannot deal with anything, and it’s not uncommon for somebody to think that everything is going fine and they’re getting on with her great, but then shit hits the fan and the real things happen and she’s like !!! bye !!! so, again, she’s a bit of a flight risk right now. bc like...... well, a murder’s a pretty big thing, my dudes. but also, in her mind, one of her friends is going through some Big Stuff what with his girlfriend being “murdered by her ex” so although most people would be like “gosh golly i should be there for him” there’s a part of ebony that’s like “cannot............deal...............want.......................to yeet.........” but because it’s his Trauma to deal with, it’s easier for her to stay. for example, if something happened between herself and grant that was mutual ( no matter what it was ) that caused angst, that’d be more of a reason for her to Yeet because it directly effects her ? if that at all makes sense ?

—– ❀ quick thing about gender and pronouns !! gender is messy and complicated ( to her ) and she accepted that long ago, but she identifies as a demigirl. her pronouns are she/her, HOWEVER she really appreciates when people use they/them when she hasn’t explicitly stated her pronouns to somebody. she just ,,, thinks it’s the respectful thing to do, but it also makes her feel Valid. she mostly identifies with the gender she was assigned at birth, and tends to present very femininely, but that doesn’t make her any less nb, y’know ? and she doesn’t like people,,, forgetting that she’s Not A Woman ? a lot of the time she’s worried people won’t see her as being nb and even her nb friends she’s sometimes convinced will just forget she’s Not A Woman ?? however, she’s okay with sometimes being referred to as a girl, but always on her own terms. like.......her mobile header literally says ‘sad girls club’ but like..... on her own terms, y’know ? so tldr: if we could pls refrain from referring to her as like ‘the woman’ or ‘the girl’ in threads, that’d be greatly appreciated !

—– ❀ some extras if you want to see/read more about the goblin: stats, playlist, pinterest, aesthetic, old drabbles*, old about/drabble. she doesn’t have a full bio, as the last one i wrote ended up being over 7k words and honestly.........who has the time

* if you click this one, please be aware that trigger warnings apply for abuse, as well as vague/tiny mentions of pregnancy.

extra connections !!! if u want !!!! idk !!!

—– ❀ friends from out of town ! if anybody is from anywhere else in the u.s outside of ny, or they spent a lot of time somewhere else, they totally could’ve known eachother a few years ago. bc ebony has lived in several different places, i can probably wiggle things around and make it work no matter what state they’ve lived in !

—– ❀ friends ! as you might’ve gathered from the rest of the intro, ebony can be a little Difficult, but she’s still kind at heart, and can be soft, and thoughtful ! so, friends that have no problem with her, friends who call her out on her bullshit, friends who she’s ditched in the past, friends she parties with, friends who have tried to Fix her, friends she trusts more than most, etc etc ! as the great sutton foster once said, anything goes !

—– ❀ fwb/hook-ups/flings/exes ! whether they’re things of the past or kind of ongoing, it’s pretty open ! ebony likes people of any and all genders, and ( not dissimilar to mallory, actually ! ) has no problems spreading her love around. which is basically the beating-around-the-bush way of saying she has a lot of sex with a lot of people, and i support her ( ... eh, when it’s healthy ) but one night stands, friends that have no problem keeping things causal, people she dated for a while, something that started casual but Feelings happened and it’s messy, all kinds of stuff is good to go !

—– ❀ people who were also in the yoga classes mallory taught at the time ! it would’ve been a while ago but if the Yoga Peoples would’ve been there back in the day too then perfect !

—– ❀ grant’s other friends ! people who met through grant ! we all have that friend we met through a mutual murderer, right ? or someone who eb met through grant and they can’t fucking stand eachother ? someone she met through grant but then shagged and now it’s awkward ? people who were actually friends with eachother first and one of them introduced grant to the other ? people who she only met at mallory’s funeral bc they were both there to support their murderous pal ? having the two of ‘em meet unrelated and then find out casually like oh shit u know my good bitch grant ? wild ! all kinds of shit !

—– ❀ roommates ! what are the realistic chances of a group of roomies all knowing either the gal who got murdered or her boyfriend ? slim as fuck but plot convenience !! maybe two or three roomies ? ny’s expensive and ebony isn’t a rich gal !

—– ❀ tbh though i also really love just.......... throwing the characters into a situation and seeing how things go, and having people meet for the first time and stuff, but i also love pre-plotted and intenser stuff, and messy/complicated plots work really well with eb ! i love all kinds of things, i’m down for w/e. while we’re on connections though, i tend to suck with plotting and i’m sometimes a little slow with ims, but i just want to make that Known so it’s not taken personally or anybody thinks i’m not interested anymore or anything ! i’m definitely replying, i promise !

okay so if you read all of this, you’re a saint and greatly appreciated ! apologies for the rambling ! feel free to drop by if you’d like to plot or anything like that ! ps. pls enjoy the fact that i scheduled this while watching the ted bundy thing on netflix, bc it tickled me. bit too fitting huh lads. 

[floralkittygambler]

Return of The Thing

Sort of. By thing, I mean me. But I love this movie and the meme. Ok, context for this post: - Where I’ve been - Why I left - Whats hip happening -  Where I’ve Been:

Long story short, I’ve had real life matters to deal with. Firstly, my entire household contracted COVID. Well, *almost*. We’ve been through constant testing, quarantine zones, and had the ambulance up numerous times. My parents and 2nd oldest sister were hit the hardest. My 3rd oldest sister was positive and asymptomatic. Now something none of us could predict that I would be completely COVID free despite my compromises. Despite that I was in close contact with them all, including the 2nd oldest who contracted it first and accidentally being coughed on a few times lol. I went through the exact same testing and yet nothing. No symptoms. No presence of COVID. And I took no precaution to isolate from my family as I presumed in our small house we’d all get it, so I was more preoccupied with caring for the sick. Ultimately, I’ve either gotten off scott free this time or there’s a chance I may actually either be highly resistant or even immune. Even then, I WILL be having the vaccine as and when my family are eligible. And we all still follow regulations set.  I’ve also had other real life obligations, much of it either mundane fixing up my living circumstances to more personal matters. Overall, I have been extremely preoccupied.

A mini update, the stray cat Big has been in our porch a lot more in recent times due to the snow as well as being even more affectionate. And Queefster passed away after a good life and a full tummy. Why I Left:

Aside from COVID, business, and my own health declining, I’ll be blunt. I left because of how disgustingly toxic most fandoms are nowadays, but Hazbin is one of the WORST for it. That includes harassment, death threats, mocking MI and triggering an ED. In fact, I’ve even seen others get rape and death threats. So yes, even if YOU are a decent fan, collectively most of you arent doing any favours. Even some critical blogs seem to be overtly catty in ways no one else seems to pick up on under this ‘look how blunt I am’ look and it’s just... You dont have to be a prick to have your say, to be honest and to disagree with the trending. That’s a few on and off of tumblr, and no one I follow anyways. 

In regards to my ‘sensitivities’ - two things: 1) Of course trauma is going to hurt, 2) Im fully aware of kids doing and receiving much of this, which hurts MORE. I have my own lil squids and Im worried of them eventually having to deal with this shit. And no, no one SHOULD have to put up with such rude and poor behaviour. Agree to disagree doesnt live in some people’s realities, but by God harassment and bullying seems ok if YOURE doing it or enticing it. That ISNT ok. Even if it seems like nothing to you it could kill another. I certainly will not take your shit. 

On huskerdust I STAND by my words. It’s fucking creepy and there is sexual harassment and obsession. And there are large triggers. I will not go into detail here because Ive done that dance before and I’ll be refining it again. YOU may like it, however it triggers my very real traumas as well as those in my bloodline. Be respectful and keep that shit away from me. And for goodness sake, parents PLEASE dont raise your children to behave as such online. And no, being anon isnt actually fully anonymous. Also to send hate and threats anon is not only traceable but also cowardice. Grow a pair and find a hobby. I avoid my traumas for the most part. I will not allow you to weaponise or diminish my own or others experiences for your fictional based gratification. Likewise, if it becomes canon, I’ll just make an AU where it is not. Simple. You can hate it but Im not your personal circus so go be toxic elsewhere. IF you like HD and follow me, honestly... Youre probably better to unfollow as I am deeply and passionately against it and stolitz, and valvox, and am very vocal on that. Dont mistake my traumas and discomfort as a personal attack - and dont personally attack me over it either. And before anyone claims homophobia, no. This is nothing to do with sexuality. You arent the victim. If you love these pairings with your soul to the point of a ‘stan’, then youre best off unfollowing because I really am too old for extremists and rabid fans more crazed than the infected in REC. Also I never used to hate angel but now... Fans behaviour is abhorrent and hes so over saturated that I honestly really dislike him now. Doesnt mean you have to hate him too, but just bloody respect that angel isnt loved by all, he can be triggering to some as well as toxically enabling [incl. past addicts], a vile homophobic gay stereotype and just overall a lack of knowledge and respect of sex workers as a whole. When you know a lot of the ins and outs and victims, it’s hard to overlook. I respect your triggering ships by avoiding that mess. Respect others.  The problem with Viv - and I will elaborate in the future - is that your audience is often a reflection of your work and it’s message/presentation. And most of the fandom Ive met are awful. Honestly, though lonesome I find more comfort keeping distant from fandoms because yall often extremely toxic and petty. Perhaps others have had better experiences than I however Im drawing a line in the sand. For MY sake. I’m annoyed with virtually anyone I sense great potential in that becomes wasted. Im angry at Viv because she can do so much better but is blocking HERSELF. This is from a creative and business mindset. When someone has potential that gets wasted - especially creatively - it burns me. Im just passionate on artistic fields. It doesnt mean I hate them. I hate the waste of full potential.

I’ll state things here people disagree with but encouraging harassment, hate or just being an overall cunt just aint on- It’s like people charade as being this fair being but its all bullshit. Self improve and sod off, I do NOT have time to parent you online. 

And obviously there are RL duties I must fulfil. Some in which I will need the publics assistance for if you can spare it. Overall, Im just... Fandoms behaviour generally disgusts me. Disappoints me. We SHOULD be better than this. It’s like listening to bloomin incels rant on fuckin chad or some bullshit pill theory instead of looking to improve themselves too. Honestly... I do mostly acknowledge my own flaws and faults and try to improve each day. It just feels fewer folk see that in themselves and do the same. And that’s coming from an old cunt whos far from fuckin perfect. Also, my fuckin laptop broke so I waited a week for a bloke nearby to fix it. What a fuckin lifesaver, he’s the real mvp!

Also Also, one of you did privately apologise and I appreciate that. I certainly hope we agree to disagree and continue to grow as people on our separate ways. Trust me, I dont forget small acts like this. Even the trauma that caused and the aftermath, please dont think I dont appreciate the apology. However you’re also entitled to know that the forgiveness and healing side may take longer for me due to various factors that occurred - much that few are aware of, including yourself especially. I wish you well and safety.

Hip Happenin Now:

Still busy but slowly visiting. I’ll reply and reblog soon, be patient please. Ive still many things to sort which take priority as well as other things. Im trying to get money n shit for a future and whatnot. Health issues are strong in the blood rn and Im spending extended time with both Big and the other pets to keep up harmony, especially now that Big is accepting slowly that our porch is a welcome shelter for him and he’s free to leave and stay whenever. Trust me, overloaded isnt even the word. Im prepping shit early this year and from now on. Also, my God Ive been dealing with more physical issues as well and had to play doctor. May even need medical interference but holy shit I could never see this coming. Still... It’s... An experience- If you could call it that. Staying more active and healthy. Cat’s nearly clawed my eye out in my sleep (to which I can only presume Billy got too close or hyper) but it’s fortunate placement so Im alright. Most of my body is in pain to the point of absolute normality at this rate. And I plan to make space for a better altar. Future of the Blog: 

Errr, it’s my fuckin space so it’s whatever I want really. Ill still have my Viv rants (ie, pros and cons of her work, HH/HB, other shit like that) however I just really dislike most the fandom at this point as well as the poor management and lack of professionalism and attitudes of staff. It’s just draggin me down and making me ill. I also want to showcase more of MY work (from redesigns to projects to some dumb 2am shit), cosplays, fashion, hobbies, spiritual practises - MY. SHIT. I feel like Ive strayed slightly. But I WILL be honest. And damn well will it upset people. And if it does and I’m genuinely ding something wrong/harmful - guide me patiently. Educate me. If it’s like this HD shit where Im not only allowed my opinions but justified on my traumas or mocking my disabilities or features, then just yeet yourself elsewhere. Also some of my gaming shit too. Getting to know folk who interact with my stuff and just... Create my space. For me. Something hopefully others can enjoy. Something that can function as a bit of an art portfolio as well. Critiques and whatnot.  But I will continually not stand for anyone’s shit or poor handling of serious matters. You will not cause me to doubt and invalidate my experiences like you have to others.  For now, Im tottering but slowly returning. For those who I previously and daily interacted with, I will get back to you. And Im sure you’re patient and understanding of my situation - it’s appreciated. But in terms of any fandom, more so if it’s known to be as hostile, I’d rather keep a healthy boundary between us. That’s for newer folk. Perhaps we may bond further and you’re welcome to try, however I do feel far safer not getting involved into other people’s shit any longer. I will put anon back on but any toxic shit will be reported as well as compiled so at least I have a reference on the actual toxic nature of fandoms. Likewise, Im slowly getting there but god theres a lot of fuckin work. So much that not even my closest friend has heard too much from me until recently. I’ll be returning to the grind for now as I have duties, as well as many demanding felines for my attention. Alongside some physical medical concerns which require additional care, I’ll be popping off now.  Im thankful for those who have checked in on me. I will reply shortly. Take care

[riskeith]

hihi! <333

it didn’t stay for long but then it started snowing a lot again and this time it seems like it will stick.. dude crazy how different our climates are rn.. i can only imagine how warm it is rn in aus. no worries! there’s always a tomorrow after today :DDD my days has been nothing but stressing over school and exams, watching haikyuu, playing genshin and thinking about you (sry i have to flirt can’t help it 😜) wbu?

i do have her, i meant hypothetically ! also THE DILUC COMIC IS SO SPOT ON gosh that’s so funny shhdkdhdjdjdj that happened with my boy bennett he just... can’t light those torches... bouken da bouken... 3: gotta bring out amber for that task tbh.

traveller is such a op!! from what i gather people sleep on them because they’re free and there are “more” exciting characters but traveller is a five star!!! put some respect on their name 😤 to each their own, but yk. underrated baby.

YEAH PRO BENDERS!!!!!!! well.. they’re on opposite teams and something happens at an important match of theirs so they’re forced to link up to survive and well.. yeah 😌 i’ve written about 20k words and i’m not even half done with the story help... i really wanna finish it though... anyway yes i do write shdksjdksjdk at first i was too shy to bring it up but you know so much about me already might as well.. 😶 i’ve written for years but i only started posting seriously again after years of not doing it in 2020... i have a couple out actually !! shsjdjhdjdjd not a lot of klance but some bnha ! 🥺 maybe someday i’ll share... 🥺

this connects a bit with this ^ part above as well i suppose. it was incredibly freeing ! it was actually the best thing i’ve done to myself.. idk i realized that that life was just dragging me down so much... always being connected and knowing everything all the time drained me so much. then i just cut everything out and found myself??? this sounds so generic but it’s true jshsjjsisjfj if it’s something you’ve thought about i truly recommend it!!! it takes some time to get used to the silence but god when you do it’s so relaxing. it’s like... so fun hanging out with yourself. i got into so many shows and watched so much movies and stuff by myself and made my own memories and i treasure that so much. shdhdkdhkssj this got so deep..... freelance writing do be like that. you can’t force it you just gotta let it come to you. but looking at your posting list you’re super consistent and it’s always quality fics so don’t feel too bad!! here’s an outside view telling you that you’re doing super well... <333

COUPLES THAT FIGHT TOGETHER STAY TOGETHER. yea they fucking do. look at us being todobaku kinnies... dhsjdhkshsksjdhdkd LMAO. GOD SERIOUSLY AAAA??????? wait 😭😭 venti baby is coming home..... he is coming home!! 😭😭😭😭 i’ve thought about it seriously and i’d happily pay money to have him his fighting style is just soooo good... 🥺 imagine if we had xiao and venti that would be so sexy of us. manifesting it all day every day. you know i would happily give some financial support for your xiao pulls... if it comes down to it <333333 i haven’t read anything either i haven’t thought much about shipping while playing tbh shksdhksshdk maybe someday for fun tho.. also i had no idea!!!! i’m def gonna check it out, is it on their website?

if they announced a movie and it was a prequel... i’d be so upset. like... so fucking upset lmao. there are so many unresolved loose ends it would be so annoying... but truthfully i don’t think they’ll do it. voltron took to hard of a hit for them to pull a move like that lmao .

hmmmm it’s true that studio ghibli movies end too fast.. one moment you’re like... in this amazing beautiful world and the next there are end credits. haku is BESTEST boy. dragon king.... <3333 you’re going on a studio ghibli marathon??? how beautiful of you. <3

🥺 ik but i love asking.... you know that tumblr post where the dude talks about how he keeps calling his wife ‘my wife’ because it makes him happy to remember that they’re married? that’s literally me.. ANYWAY AAAAA ! a one shot multichap sounds soooooooooo good.... i’d love to read it pls i’d be so honored. it’s up to you though i’d accept Anything i too have my whole heart open..

btw i’ve never asked but always wondered: what kind of music do you listen to? <3

*bernie voice* i am once again asking for your forgiveness. i keep sending these long ass asks i rly need to chill... goodbye LMAO :*

(‘read more’ again bc my reply got long fhksjfjds)

hi bb!

oooo nice! did you get to play in the snow~ and yeah ahah it’s close to 30 degrees rn! it was pretty shit earlier in the week but it’s gonna get hotter again for a bit. does it get pretty hot in sweden in the summer? or are you guys too close to the north pole or something for that to happen

that sounds good!! (other than the horrible thing that is school...) ahah you’ve got my heart going doki doki now please 🤪💓. in all honesty it seems pretty balanced tho i do hope you’re taking breaks from study and all!! hmm today i got up super late again and then i tried to go for a walk (it was too hot so i came back) and then i was editing a fic! and now i’m gonna play genshin bc i think a new event started, then hopefully maybe finally start studying fhksjfd

ahh ! AHHAHA nooooo rip :( but omg i still can’t believe you have bennett.. like i know that i haven’t tried for this banner and maybe i would have him too if i did but 😩😩 he’s so cute!! WAIT on that topic guoba does that too i swear i have to like make so many calculations and figure out the optimal spot to place him so he won’t go breathing fire in the wrong direction XD

i 10000000% agree!!! like excuse me they can also control TWO elements???? who else could ever 😩 i watched a video about geo traveller too some time ago and that made me stop sleeping on them like damn they did some damage!

hehehe that sounds so intriguing 👀 20k!!! that’s more than i could ever omg... sending you strength!! you’ve got this 💪💪 icb you were too shy to bring it up pls im losing my mind over here 😭 but aw that’s really nice <3 maybe 2020 did some good after all.. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls whenever you’re ready i’m here... or mayhaps would you be okay with just plain copying a snippet into an ask sometime i promise i won’t look it up and try find you 😩 but i wanna witness some of your magnificence !

(also scratch that genshin co-op date idea um... fic collab instead?! could you imagine 😌)

yeah ugh i totally get the being drained feeling.. it’s like it doesn’t bring you joy you know? and you’re just still there bc you’ve just always been there and it’s too late to leave. !!! that does sound really tempting.. but i think i’m a bit too attached to the people i’ve met (you being one of them hehe) to fully let go. but if in the future i just need to take a break i’ll def do it! i was hesitant about doing that last year but now that i’ve done it before surely I won’t hesitate before doing it again (tho i’ve noticed that whenever i try to leave/take a break some new thing happens or releases and i’m losing my mind and can’t go fskjfhsd)

tysm marriage anon i appreciate you sm 😭💞 but yeah it’s easy to get lost in it sometimes but then i’ll look back and see how much i’ve actually done throughout the year and it’s like?? wow i did actually do and achieve a lot? so perspective matters i guess ahah

FHKDSJFH okay but todobaku who’s who? i like writing from bakugou’s POV more which makes me think I can relate to him more (like i used to write from lance’s pov a lot! that, and just bc we both love keith a lot 🤪) but i do write from todoroki’s pov quite a bit too.. hm. 

and yes!!! honestly if venti is actually coming back i should invest in getting him too.. he can do so much !! the only issue i have is that i don’t really like bow users bc i’m shit at aiming hfkdsjfhjsd. waiting for the day we can live out our xiaoven dreams <333 FKJSHFKJSD and please don’t give me money for that fhsdkfjs!! spend it on yourself instead 😩😩 but also real talk i wasn’t gonna say this bc i’m uber paranoid that somehow someone will read it and hack into my account FKHSFKSJD but i have like... 12k primogems rn AHAHAH so i’m feeling good about getting him! ty for the offer tho but seriously, let that go to your own genshin funds first if anything fhksjfds get yourself a c6 venti. yeah honestly me not really shipping anyone is a big reason why i haven’t read anything either lolll. like the art is good and i’m fine but i’m not invested enough to read fics about it yet fdshfkjs. yup it is! in case you haven’t found it yet, here! (i saw that the prologue alone was 74 pages and yeeted out of there hfdsjf)

yeah i think dreamworks ended up kinda unhappy with it all FKJFHKDSHFS but honestly with how they ended the show i feel like in their minds all ends were tied so the only option would be for a prequel? idk. and also bc i feel like movies from shows tend to do that ahaha. or omg a spinoff with completely new characters and maybe we only get mentions or cameos of the old ones hfkdsjf

yesss i’m so excited to at least get through the most popular ones!! still haven’t started howl’s moving castle yet tho lol. can’t wait to finally understand when everyone talks about these movies 😩

no i don’t know that post?? but omg.. 💕💕 also is this an appropriate time to ask what your pronouns are/how you like to be referred to FHSDKFHSD i’ve been using non-gendered language as much as i could bc idk what you prefer! 

okay i might.. post a link to that doc in an ask sometime soon then or hm.... what if i continued working on it instead... many different options hfskjdfd

i mostly listen to kpop!! ahah in recent years i’ve really said fuck western media and fully immersed in the asian stuff.. but yeah my ults are bts but i really got into seventeen in 2020 and i love them so much... they’re all so funny btsvt collab when HFKSFJS. hbu?? 

*bernie voice* i am once again asking you to stop apologising >:( please these are genuinely the highlight of my day LOL i am always looking forward to your messages!! pls do not chill >:((((

yours, c.r. <3