#damn its such a long ramble and i basically said nothing

[stuvvshii]

long long boring post about my lasik surgery experience because i can:

first of all my vision background: from 12 years old to 18 years old my vision dropped from -2 to -8 because of my doctors incompitence. i also had astigmatism.or i didnt. each doctors just told me i do or i dont depending on god knows what. anyways. most of my life i was wearing glasses cause i cant touch my eyeballs and put things in them my whole being is like NOPE. so no lenses.

i knew about lasik for a long time and it was just some magic surgery that zeroes ur vision to the starting point. i knew in the worst case i could lose vision but i have main character syndrome and i thought it wont happen to me. and i was lucky it didnt.

couple years ago, i grew tired of glasses. at my big ass -8 -8.5 they are HEAVY. it was not fun to exist. my biggest fear now is going back to glasses, i started to hate wearing em and they gave me a lot of headaches.

so i contact a certain clinic and they say i pass, everything is fine and week later im getting the surgery. they r pretty open about me not being able to have the best vision but it will be good 0.8-0.6. okay i say its still better than what i have.

first of all the surgery. u come in u lay on the table they strap u down they put some torture machine on and u do ur best at looking into this one green dot. if u stop looking there the laser stops working and its pretty safe. at one point u lose ur vision completely on one eye the laser currently working on and its a very scary experience. the surgeon warns u about it. while going through the procedure i noticed my left eye hurted more during it, which i told the doc. they said its okay.

right after the surgery u sit in the dark room with ur eyes closed and u cant stop crying. ur eyes just make insane amount of tears. they also feel numb. about half an hour in the doctor calls u closer and u can open ur eyes finally. all u see is a blurry mess at the moment but its a bit clearer than ur raw vision before. they give u meds instructions and just general dos and donts. what i noticed tho is NO ONE ever follows them all. i did cause i dont want to lose my vision due to being stupid af. most of the people would sit on their phone the next fcking day and im sure it could give some people worse experience than they couldve have. u leave the hospital by taxi in sunglasses, preferably with someone by ur side, for me it was my uncle cause my parents were working.

anyways, for the next month i had no connection to the world and all i could do is take my meds, do my eye workout (the most important of which are the focus ones) and just fuck around house. first days were the most awful ones. first of all u r a crying statue from now on. tears just keep fallin ur eyes feel like there's something inside and all the meds r very mean and hurt ur eyes even more.i dont rememeber it but my mom told me i said "if i knew it hurts this bad i would never do the surgery"

slowly my vision gained strength and i was starting to see rly good. my eyes felt a bit dry when its windy or dusty but i had my eye drops for that (i still use them, they r pretty expensive but i just need them for comfort now).

about a year in my left eye was being a complete dick and the doctors gave me special meds and instructions to fix it, it helped at the time.

overall in 2 years it didnt get much worse. but sometimes i feel very uncomfrotable for unknown reasons. sometimes i see pretty clearly but my brian for some reasons fucks with me and everything feels distanced?? idk how to explain it but like i can focus only on one thing and everything else just dissapears. also i cant see in the dark now. i feel like my vision is -8 when its night time. and i know what i mean i could see much better in glasses before. also the difference between my left and right eye can give me headache which was happening with the glasses before too so nothing new here.

after all of that. would i go through this surgery again? i would say more yes than no. would i recommend it tho? mostly no. but do ur own research and make ur own decision.i think its a big risk to take. but if u do it. please follow all the doctor recommendations. i know it sucks ass to sit without ur phone and tv and a lot of activities for a month.i was wearing sunglasses at winter. in russia. most ppl looked at me like i was the biggest idiot to exist. but please do. do ALL the exercises and the exact amount they told u to do them. they r boring but ull notice urself they help ur eyes to adapt a lot faster.

my vision now is 0.6 on the left eye and 0.8 on the right but it works in perfect conditions only, aka i slept well i didnt look into my phone for couple hours like an idiot and its pretty bright outside. otherwise i see much worse, about -1. its still huge improvement from where i was.

i heard ppl were doing surgeries for -2 vision and i would say i dont recommend it at all. u can see pretty well on ur own dpnt go the the risk of losing it for not so big of a difference

[our-lady-of-mcr]

everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn

[lovesickeros]

lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...

it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy

also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]

gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.

anyway.

there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.

imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.

a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.

the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?

but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.

[thebisexualwreckoning]

@jegulus-microfic | Day 9 - Heart | Word count: 739 | tw: vomit, human experimentation, animal death, human death (technically mcd but he gets better), descriptions of surgery on cadavers, life threatening disease, blood, body horror, gore, basically dead dove do not eat

Now, with that out of the way, I am honoured to present to you THE FRANKENSTEIN AU

Fic under the cut

They'd been ready. They'd been prepared. And yet when James finally drew his last breath, Regulus had to run across to room to empty his gut, retching till there was nothing left in him any longer. Sirius was right there by his side, rubbing circles into his back until he could finally breathe again. He'd felt a sharp pang of guilt then. James may have been his other half but if soulmates existed, then James would have been Sirius'.

Regulus manages to pull himself together. They have a short window of time before it's too late to do what they have to. The previous experiments had been successful, but Regulus didn't want to take any chances when it's James' life hanging in the balance.

Remus is there when they reach the lab. He'd been one of their first tries, back when they still didn't know what exactly they were doing or whether it would even work. But despite the scars that litter his body now and the eerie feeling of something not quite right whenever someone looked at him for any extended amount of time, it had worked.

They still don't know the how of it. When they find out about James, Regulus had spent the entire time at his side, unwilling to move even an inch while Sirius had torn up Black manor trying to find a solution, any solution to save his life. That's where he'd found it, tucked away in some long forgotten corner in the family library.

They hadn't believed it at first, wrote it off as a madman's ramblings. But as time passed and James grew worse, they had no choice but to hedge all their bets on the book in a desparate bid to save him. And it had worked. Despite all logic, it had bloody worked.

"It's time," Sirius says, handing Regulus a pair of gloves. Sirius and James might have been the geniuses who figured out how to bring the dead back to live, but no one else but Regulus could do this. He'd practiced, taken apart dead bodies over and over again till he had it down to an art while the two of them were pouring over books.

He takes a breath and lifts the scalpel. The process was simple. Cut a flap into the patient's chest, take out their heart, replace it and shock them back to life. The book said to use lightning but Sirius had figured they could just use electricity. Getting the replacement heart had turned out to be the most difficult part of the process. It had to be hunted and prepared by the receiver. James wasn't yet so weak that he had to stay on bed rest, but he was still in no condition to go hunting. In the end, they found a baby stag seperated from its mother. James' hands had shook as he raised them but they struck true.

It's almost time now. Sirius stands in the corner of the room, tapping his feet on the linoleum. Remus presents him with the open cold box and Regulus takes a deep breath. He picks up the glistening heart and places it in the gaping hole of James' chest. He threads his needle one last time and stitches James back together.

Sirius takes a step forward, stops, and says, "Are you ready?"

Regulus looks at James. He's beautiful, even now, covered in blood and guts and other bodily fluids. He's glad he has Sirius here with him, glad that he has someone who doesn't ask him whether he wants to do this but only asks when.

He nods and Sirius grabs a bunch of cables, going around James and attaching them to his body. James' blood is slick on Regulus' hands and he feels the urge to throw up again.

Sirius takes his place beside him and squeezes his hand before finally hitting the damned switch. There's no big explosions, no electricity arching through the air, only a soft buzz and then its over.

For one heart-wrenching moment, Regulus thinks that it hasn't worked. He lets out a quiet sob. It's not fair. Not after everything they've been through together. They were meant to survive this. Sirius' hands are a vice grip around him, the only thing holding him up. Regulus makes to move for him, kiss him one last time, hold him and refuse to ever let go.

And then...... James moves.

[antiendovents]

// vent, medical ableism

tldr; my fucking DOCTOR is pro-endo and her source is a dumbass paper that proves nothing and now my healthcare is at risk!!

just had my appointment with my gender wellness doctor. she asked how i've been and i mentioned finding a 2nd therapist for specific stuff. she asked what and i said dissociative disorders. i wanted to be vague but she pressed me to talk about it and reluctantly i talked about having alters and answered her questions bc i struggle with saying no.

i told her i was ok with doing an adverse childhood experiences scale but that i had stuff i wanted to talk about (like my hrt not being at the pharmacy for months) she said "we'll get to it".

after the assessment she asked abt it causing distress and she was talking about how in the office they use the term "plural identities" i said that was fine but that its still a disorder. she was like "disorder is negative" and compared it to how it used to be called gender identity disorder (comparing the two as if she has any place to talk on it, being cis and a singlet) but its better to use "plural identities"

i was like "thats fine as long as its still seen as a disorder and caused by trauma" and she was like "no its not always caused by trauma" and i straight up said "do you have a source for that?" and she was like "google my husbands name" and i did and THEN she moved on to my actual issues with struggling to get hrt for months.

the whole time after i had to mask how i was feeling so i could get basic healthcare. after she hung up i burst into tears. its been like 10 min and im still crying and feel sick. ive had doctors say they dont know what DID/OSDD-1 is before. ive had them say DID is a personality disorder. ive never had anything like this before and i feel unsafe. the fucking endo community IS affecting healthcare. i dont feel like i can ever talk to a doctor about this stuff again. she completely talked over me and then moved on like it was nothing

btw this is the stupid study her husband worked on. read it and its not even PROVING ANY OF WHAT SHE SAID. its just "oh well some people THINK theyre plural and of course disordered people have to be miserable so if you like ur alters they must be magically there!" and was from the plural association. its fucking disgusting this is being used as fact when theres nothing but subjective opinion.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S246874992300042X

i genuinely think im going to go to planned parenthood from now on. i cant work with her anymore. its been 2? maybe more years of working with her but im done. im sorry to ramble so much. im still having a breakdown over this.

-arachnid anon

im really sorry about that arachnid anon. That sucks and if you can we hope you manage to get a new doctor because she is clearly causing you distress. This really sucks, I feel like endos don't always realise how dangerous this stuff can be for actual systems. If doctors don't see it as a disorder then they won't treat it as such, meaning you won't get the help you need and you won't feel safe with her (as you said), which like,, isn't good. She's not a specialist meaning if anything she shouldn't really be saying stuff about DID/OSDD at all, because that's not her job or her place ((I understand you brought it up, but still. She should keep her opinions out of her damn job))

[amaribelt]

malleus draconia and the pipe organ and why i love it

so. this is going to be a long post and thats because i have to basically tell you the entire history of the pipe organ and how this relates to malleus 'very scary' draconia. i am extreamly sorry but their will be a summary at the end if you just dont care but it would mean alot if you listen to this ramble of mine

CW: lots of mentions of religion churches and cathedrals one cult mention and some book 7 spoilers

-PART ONE TOCCATA AND FUGE IN D MINOR

Pipe organs are everywhere, from weddings and baseball games but one of the most common places to hear an organ is horror movie scoring, from youtube videos of creepy organ music to its first use in a movie doctor jeckle and mr hyde and other arrangements in things like phantom of the opera pipe organs have almost become one with fear dread and horror witch is quite odd with its religious connotations that we will get to in a second.

the pipe organ originated from greece its earliest predecessors are from the 3RD CENTURY BC, these things are quite quite old and required a lot of man power to play before technology. a pipe organ is a piano on steroids it has a bunch of connecting pipes and all of these pipes have different stuff in them to give it a variation of sound sometimes their are reeds like in woodwind instruments and sometimes their are those cut outs from things on recorders. whenever an organist plays a key wind goes through the pipes to make a sound, back in the day air was supplied though enslaved people but now we have electric moters attached to our pipe organs but because of how big pipe organs are it would take many people to get all the air needed to play these things, the Winchester cathedral organ took 2 people to play it and 70 men to blow air into it and the sound from said organ can be heard from throughout the city.

pipe organs are not small and dainty these are MASSIVE instruments that construction has to bend around to make space for all of the organs equipment their are rooms whose sole purpious is for the function and upkeep, organs are an absolute monster of an instrument not only in volume but in the sound they make some of these tones cant be picked up by *human ears* the atlantic city convention hall has a pipe that is 64 feet (19.5072 meters) and that is FOUR AND A HALF STORIES TALL.

-PART 2 BACH, CHURCHES AND HOW ORGANS WORK

not only are these things massive their are petals on the bottom that organists have to PLAY their is music solely for the foot keys their are 3 rows of manuals (keys) and stops (things you pull out to control a selection of pipes and thats where 'pulling out all the stops' came from you are going to 100 percent) and so their is a lot of skill that goes into playing an organ. so unless your like an octopus and have 8 arms or your just insane (just kidding i love you organists) playing the organ was hard

NOW THIS IS WHERE BACH COMES IN, basically one day bach watches into a church with their organ takes a prewritten melody and improvise an 8 part harmony so for non music nerds he went up to an organ started playing the pre written music and off the TOP OF HIS HEAD created 7 other melodies that he had to play with both his HANDS AND FEET. and you wanna know why this is so damn cool, it was almost impossible for organists to practice as theirs nothing that sounds quite like an organ and pianos werent invented yet so if you wanted to practice your organ playing then you were going to need a team of people just to get the air to play and then your scales are going to be heard by everyone in the town. so anyone who could play the organ were hyper privlaged music genius types, because no one would hear them practice on an organ let alone a harpsichord they just show up one day and start playing. thats the kind of person an organist is

those glorified harmonicas that were portable organs werent what people were playing on they would be playing on the organs that were so big they had to be built around by architechs, this is where the church comes in. the fact that you couldnt move them made them great for churches cathedrals and religious establishments and because of how big these were churches were the only ones with the money to fund these organs. theirs a phycology behind it too because these instruments are so big so powerful that the only person that could fulle these endeavors are god himself. so if you could play the organ you were some loner freak of nature who is one of the only people who could handle this machine

-PART 3 JECKLE HYDE AND JESUS

sooo way back at the top i mentioned its first use in jeckle and hyde were picking up that thread again because this is where this comes into play, so in the opening credits of the movie they played toccata and fuege in D minor. (the song i linked in the very top) but following that we get a scene of jeckle playing another peice by Bach  Ich ruf zu dir Herr Jesu Christ (i call to you lord jesus christ) Herr Jesu Christ is originally in F minor but they transposed it to be in the same key as tocatta and feuge they did this not only to show they put thought and care into how these two peices would sound back to back on screen but they did it as musical shorthand

they are using a religious peice of music and instrument to show what kind of character this is, these are gigantic powerful pieces of instruments with heavy religious connotations, i swear we are getting malleus i just need to keep explaining a little more just keep this all in your mind and compare it to what we know about malleus and what other people VIEW the being that is malleus draconia. 3 years after the film jeckle and hyde we get toccata and fuege in another horror movie the black cat, this time played on an actual organ this movie follows a cult leader who plays an organ notably the track that is now associated with villainous characters due to its use in jeckle and hyde. throughout the black cat we hear other organ pieces throughout the film we are no longer looking at religious organ music in the pure and fluffy way it was originally used in churches now we are hearing a sick and twisted use of the organ being used to celebrate satanic cults all of the religious imagery has been corrupted it has had a quite literal fall from grace.

in carnival of souls our main character is in a sort of purgatory and throughout the film she plays guess what an organ for the church. over time shes not able to keep up with the holy and religious music the church expects her to play as her playing goes into something erie and haunting that upsets the minister, as she looses her connection to the living world she cant play the religious music on the organ and thats haunting to the people around her. it isnt the organ thats scary but whos playing it. this man has channeled the power of god in the power of his own home to play this holy instrument and because of the nature of the organ organists have to spend lots of time alone and praticing multiples times a week so they dont sound awful think of this with a religious background all of the power of a god but not pure intentions

-PART 4 MALLEUS DRACONIA

ohh boy we finally made it to malleus draconia this essay of a tumblr post is quite latterly lagging down my laptop but i have a LOT to say. i feel like a lot of people misinterpret malleus as a character due to the fact that hes been a shadow looming over us in the main story although its implied that the character Yuu knows malleus on a much deeper and its implied they spend lots of time together its important to know that we as the audience and the reader dont get to see that, we are purposely being withheld information about him and that adds to the ominous aura he gives off to not only students in NRC but also us as the viewer, we *know* theirs a different side to malleus that we can see in vignettes but thats only a sneak piece into the multilayered cake that is malleus draconia.

somewhere it was revealed that malleus' threateneing aura was a blessing and i dont remember where i saw it but i swear i saw it on a chapter 7 translation so if anyone knows what im talking about please let me know, because of this he has been 'cursed' to be feared by all humans and respected by all fae to the point they treat him and anyone in the draconia family as a GOD. (see heres that religious mention again) i don't want to say malleus has a god or superiority complex but the people around him certainly do see him as superior due to his family heritage and the fact that hes one of the top 5 mages at such a 'young' age (for fae standards) and due to his magical status and what his family has done for the biar valley other are not only put off by him he has that intimidating aura curse thing that makes other people who arent fae put off and avoid him. something that was ment as a blessing has only caused more sorrow for malleus as people isolate him, he has so few opprotunities to have a social life.

its heavily implied (i swear it said it somewhere im just tierd its 11:55 at night as of writing) that music is an important part of fae culture, lilia has a tallent for multiple instuments and can supposedly sooth crying infants. malleus' humming is overlayed durring his spell when he overblots and in lilias dream we hear his mom singing so its all heavily implied that music is important to fae in twisted wonderland just like it is in our real life folklore.

we see malleus play the organ at the end of the endless halloween event and although theirs one line that suggest that malleus has a bit of trouble not everyone is able to improv on an organ like bach did, we still see him play in the twistune although we dont hear it but its implied that malleus can play the organ(we hear like one bit of the opening but we dont hear it during the song but the like 3 seconds are good so)

it makes perfect sense for malleus to play the organ its an instrument that requires alot of isolation and dedication to master lest you have the whole city know you cant play, the godfearing loyalty of fae in the briar valley who treat the draconia family like gods and the humans so afraid of them they avoid them like the plague. the religious connotations of the organ with the twisting of that religious imagery all line up so well with malleus draconia as a character. the twisting of a once holy instrument into something horrid and demonic just fits with malleus so well i wish it was all intentional but i know im giving too much credit where its not due as this is just the unhindged hyper fixated ramblings of a teenager.

-TLDR </333

the pipe organ has lot of religious connotations and has often flipped those one its head to give a spookey vibe in horror movies witch is why pipe organs have become a holy wood go to for a evil character. these instruments are so expensive and require to much work to put into them characters associated are offten high class and loners preferring to keep to themselves, sometimes their is a religious aspect to the character and that correlates with their playing of the organ. malleus draconia is viewed by many as a god has a terrifying aura to him and is prown to isolation by his peers.

giving the twst devs to much credit is the name of my game as i see too much symbolism in things where theirs not

thank you for reading especially if you read all of it i love you alot<333333333333333333333333333333333333333

[malt-rants-and-stuff]

OKAY FUCKERS WE HAVE REACHED 100!!! SOMEONE POP OUT THE HEARTS

this chapter was honestly what I should've expected. mitsukouers we have been fed and are probably going to be put into the closet once more going forwards so let us say thanks for these last few chapters, as well as all the other 99 chapters that came before this one. it's been amazing and I hope it continues to be so!!

now, I'm not one for making long posts myself. however!! this makes for a special occasion so I will have to make do :)

!!! SPOILERS FOR TOILET BOUND HANAKO-KUN CHAPTER 100 !!!

So,

this chapter was great! Though as always I wished that there had been more, what we got was a... pretty satisfying close to this arc.

I will say, as much as I loved what did happen, it felt like it was missing something. Like there was a part of this chapter bring held back. (and no I don't mean that there wasn't a mitsukou kiss this chapter, though that of course was missed as well)

I feel like they really needed to talk more about... well... fucking everything I guess? but, then again, it is so like them to not say shit even when its so important for them to communicate about it (i.e. the way they refuse to address the way they are both for sure going insane at this point, kou seemingly giving up on thinking about his morality when it comes to caring for mitsuba, mitsuba clearly only wanting kou to exorcize him regardless of the bs he said about teru being fine too, tsukasa, etc etc). I would've loved to see them have some proper talks about all of that and more, but also I can't see them doing that in anyway that wouldn't feel ooc and wrong for them.

Mitsuba and Kou just don't do that.

Or at least, not anymore.

Before, I'm sure there would have been some sort of talking. Something just shy of an argument maybe or a full on breakdown.

But now I think it's a bit late for that.

They were both already teetering off and on the edge by the time the severance happened and I think after all of that I think any chance of having proper communication about all the shit they've been through together, for each other, and what bullshit they'll pull going into the future is off the god damn ledge kou jumped from in That One Chapter.

The ending of this chapter solidified this for me more than anything else I think. We got Kou basically asking Mitsuba to live if only to come with him to the school festival, if for nothing else, which is for sure going to be the next Big Event Thing. and then at the very end Mitsuba mentions being hungry and Kou replies with silence which makes me think that their night isn't over yet, and Kou is beyond prepared to get his hands dirtier to help him. This probably won't be addressed, at least not by these two directly after last chapter. If anything I'm kinda hoping Teru will be the one to do it but that's neither here nor there.

All in all, this was a pretty useless ramble of me basically saying I love mitsukou (derogatory) and that they are every reason for my unwell mind.

Anyways mitsukou is canon I'm the heart Mitsuba ate thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[veritable-trash]

May Our Flowers Always Bloom

guess who spent wayyyy too much time on canva making this(it's me)

Pairing: Oberyn Martell x Fem!Character(unnamed, 3rd person, minimal descriptors)also this is a fantasy AU where oberyn is a forest prince, canon be damned

Summary: He could still remember the first time he saw her enter his grove. Not many dared to venture so far into the wood but she had seemed so at ease. Feet bare to the moss and dirt, flowers delicately woven in her hair, a song he’d never heard gracing her lips. 

He’d been stunned.

Word Count: 3.3K

Rating: T - no smut, though maybe there will be??? who knows, but also parental death, and at this point i think that's it. let me know if i missed something! my whole blog is 18+ anyways so kiddos SCRAM

A/N: hahahaha holy shit. it's been actually an age since i've written anything at all and then today i said fuck it we write and then i wrote this. this is a little fantasy au with my lover oberyn who i've wanted to write for AGES. canon is not really relevant here other than like general personality and such. i might write a part two, maybe make this a series, but every time i say that i never finish or write it so i'm just gonna leave this here for now and see what happens. more rambles, notes thoughts at the end but i hope you enjoy!!!! also minimally edited basically just skimmed so apologies for any mess :) <33333

masterlist woot woot

~~~~~

She had grown up at the edge of the great woods. 

A bit further from the village than maybe strictly necessary but her parents had always been a little off, at least by the town folks standards. 

They had always turned to the earth, turned to the plants to heal and guide them and she had grown with her toes wiggled into the soft dirt, hands clutching at wildflowers and weeds. She knew nothing else. Hated the noise and the chaos of the town. How people stared and whispered about the wild family out in the woods.

She never felt like she was wild. Almost felt as if the townsfolk themselves were the wild ones. But she toed the line between the “real” world and the world of her creation.

The magical realm of the woods.

Her parents had of course warned her of respecting the forest. That though they tried to live as one with all that the earth provided, there were dangers that lurked among the gnarled roots and towering pines. She must tread carefully and never, ever after dark. 

And she obeyed, but only just. Curled up against the base of the trees, writing or sewing or singing or musing, until the sun barely grazed the top most points of those towering giants high above her and the forest began to melt into darkness and secrets.

Those were her favorite moments, eyes adjusting to the low light, fireflies dancing between the trunks and leaves, the calm silence filtering its way signaling the time for rest, and for some reason she could never explain she never felt danger. Even when she would reappear from the woods, darkness having fully settled and her parents scolding her for staying out so long, she somehow knew nothing would harm her among those woods. 

She was somehow interwoven with the roots and moss and flowers and leaves. 

~~~~~

He could still remember the first time he saw her enter his grove. Not many dared to venture so far into the wood but she had seemed so at ease. Feet bare to the moss and dirt, flowers delicately woven in her hair, a song he’d never heard gracing her lips. 

He’d been stunned.

Oberyn had only just been allowed to venture in the human realm. He was still a child to his mother, the wild unruly one who could not be trusted to keep the secrets of Dorne to himself. To understand that the human realm could not know, never know, about the forest kingdom. 

For even though Oberyn could see her in the brightest light of day, she could not see him. He could only appear as one of those verdant things that always seemed to attract her attention. Only upon his knighthood could he enter the human world. 

And so he watched her. 

Sat with her in those mystic groves. Grew her beautiful flowers to pick and adorn her hair. Whispered to the lightening bugs to guide her home when she stayed till twilight. Followed her through the forest until the very edge, keeping her safe, clearing her way, making sure nothing harmed her on her return home. 

They were both so young when they stumbled upon each other in that wood, knowingly and unknowingly, and he grew to cherish those moments. He had always felt a bit different from his family. Lonely and misunderstood, and for some reason around her he felt whole. A calmness settling over his ever twitching hands that he was constantly scolded for. 

He knew he was young, infatuation fickle and deceiving, and yet he could not lie to himself that his heart somehow felt tethered to her. Even the silent companionship of reading right next to her filled the gapes between his ribs with warmth. 

He would sometimes read over her shoulder at the pages of the newest novel she was devouring, aching to know more about the world she came from. Aching to know more about this girl that haunted all of his dreams. 

If his family noticed a shift in his habits, they paid no mind, ever the youngest child, left to his own devices, but he yearned for his knighthood. Ached to be known to her somehow, for it was torture only being able to ghost soft gentle breezes across her skin. Watch her skin prickle, and the most content sigh to fall from her lips. 

He could go mad with this want. 

~~~~~

Her parents passed soon after her 18th birthday.

It had been sudden and destructive. A trip to the market for more supplies cut short by an overturned cart and poor poor timing. The village had helped her but even with such grief and suffering regarded her with distrust. 

The wild girl loosing her wild parents, it truly is no surprise. Who knows what they get up to in that little shack by the woods. Witchcraft probably. Yes, yes most likely so. 

And when the whispers and worry and pain all became too much, the wood was still always there. The first few months after her parents passing she would run there. Tripping over roots as tears overflowed in her eyes, not sparing those flowers even a second glance as she collapsed in the middle of the grove, sun filtering around her but her body feeling nothing. 

She’d dig her nails in the moss, tearing at it as she wailed to no one and nothing, aching for something to ease the pain of a loose she still did not know how to process. Would lay there, unmoving for hours on end until the numbness finally took over and she was able to walk home, unfeeling and disjointed, reality but a film over her eyes. And even in those most dire moments the wood somehow always guided her home as though the trees opened themselves up to create a path.

Her work continued, mothers came for tonics for crying babes, elders came for salves for their aching limbs, and she continued to bear the mantle her parents had trained her for all these years. She had to make coin somehow and the work steadied her. Reminded her of her mothers calming cadence listing off ingredients, her father teaching her of proper techniques for harvesting.

She grew many years in the span of only a few months, but she had to hardened. Had to strengthen her spine and learn to be sure in herself even when it felt like all her threads were fraying. 

The woods were all that saved her in those trying moments.

It was somehow always warm and soothing, wild flowers littering her path as she traveled aimlessly to cleanse her mind. Picking them one by one to build the most beautiful bouquet that would grace her work table in the cottage. It was a ritual for her at this point in her life, always returning to that sacred groove that somehow gave her the greatest peace she’d ever known. Where worries seemed to melt into the soil beneath her feet and lighten the load on her shoulders just a touch. Always a gentle breeze to remind her of the wonders of the wood. The calm that could be found there. 

Her strides back home were always a touch more assured, a touch lighter, and she somehow knew it was all going to be alright somewhere in the end. And every time she’d step out of the wood, she would always turn around and whisper,

Thank you.

~~~~~

You’re welcome flower. 

He was taller than her now, able to look down into her eyes when she whispered those simple two words that set his heart racing. Sometimes it even seemed like she was looking right at him, eyes somehow connecting even between the realms, though he knew it was not true. 

He’d been at a loss when she’d first stumbled into their grove, tears staining her cheeks. He could not understand what plagued her. Was it heartbreak? Had she loved another? Had they hurt her so? 

It had sent him into a rage he’d never felt before. The jealousy, the want, no the need to hurt whoever had hurt his flower overwhelmed him till he could barely see straight. 

His hands had ghosted over her hunched spine, he’d whispered his sorrow for her suffering and it only drove him crazier.

The knowledge that she felt none of it. Wasn’t able to hear a single word. 

He grew her flowers, sent her breezes, shifted the very earth of the groove to cradle her in the plushest of moss and yet her eyes seemed to register none of it. 

They were hollow and vacant, the pain seeming to have sucked every twinkle that had made his heart skip.

But he never stopped trying.

He couldn’t stop. His flower, as he’d started calling her, was suffering a pain he could not understand but he could try and fix. 

Though he was still but a boy, he wanted to be a man for her. 

He grew brighter blooms, lined a path for her to walk to and from the groove, sent breezes filled with orange blossom and spiced earth to ease her heart, used his powers, though still weak, in every way he knew how, and slowly he saw his flower blooming once again.

The first time she’d picked a flower after that never ending winter of pain, he almost shed a tear. Her eyes had sparkled just slightly and she’d tucked it behind her ear, the softest hum of content gracing his ears. 

He felt as though he had slain the greatest beast that ever lived. 

~~~~~

It had been two years almost to the day after her parents passing that the forest had shifted.

She didn’t know how to explain it but the air between the trees no longer smelled of orange blossoms and cinnamon. 

It just smelled like the dirt and decaying leaves and dampness that came with the forest. 

There were no flowers lining the way to that ever calming clearing like she had grown so accustomed to. No soft breeze pushing her along. 

She couldn’t understand it, and even more perplexing was the single most beautiful flower that she found growing in the center of groove.

A lone sprig of forget-me-nots trembling in a breeze that only held the faintest notes of that orange blossom that she had known for the past two years. 

Something in her heart stirred, body growing both cold and hot all at once, unsure of how to understand what this shift, this change all meant. 

It felt almost blasphemous to pick the flower, and yet she couldn’t leave it all alone in this place that no longer felt like a home to her. So she delicately clipped it at its base and turned around and walk back to the cottage. 

The journey took longer than usual, no guiding flowers or friendly lighting bugs to guide her, and her heart sank further as though she had lost something great once again. 

She gently pressed the flower between the pages of her most treasured journal clutching it to her chest as she watched the forest, as if waiting for something to emerge, the sparkle to return, for the forest to feel like hers again.

But as the sun sank behind the treetops and the sky shifted into the darkness, the forest did not call to her. 

It was the first time in a very, very long time that she truly felt alone.

~~~~~

Oberyn had both not wanted to leave and ached eternally to start his quests. He knew what it meant to turn 20. To reach the age where knighthood must be found in a man, for he had longed for this day all his life.

But watching the confusion and pain on her face as she left the forest that day felt like a knife in his gut. A weeping wound that he did not know he would survive. 

He had been foolish to leave the flower, he knew that. Risky and impulsive and dangerous to say the least but he could not leave her without somehow saying goodbye. Without somehow showing her that he would come back, that he could never stay away from her for too long, but he could not foretell how long his quests would be. No way of knowing where he would go, who he would meet, the man he would become in the distant realms.

There was war out there, struggle and strife, and he knew his family expected greatness from him. When Doran, his older brother, had returned from his journeys, he came back with prestige and honor, but he had also come back with an illness that it seemed no one could heal.

What if Oberyn was left like his brother after his journeys? How many years would he be gone? What if he could not return to his flower? What if she left the forests edge to never be found again?

He could barely sleep the days leading up to his departure, and those final moments with her in the groove brought him to his knees. 

He knew he was young, knew that loves came and went and that there would maybe be others for him to love, but something about her called to him in ways he had never understood. And yet if he wished to truly be with her, to brush the delicate skin of her cheeks, to hear her say his name, to feel the warmth of her skin against his, he had to go. He had to toil and suffer and fight and return back to this place and finally reveal himself to her as he has always wished to.

That was the only way. 

And so a flower he left. A memento of their many years together that she knew nothing about but maybe someday would learn of when the time was right. 

~~~~~

She didn’t exactly avoid the forest after that strange day, but she didn’t tempt the fates so to speak.

There was a change in the energy of the forest, a boundary of sorts she had never felt, cutting her off from something. She no longer stayed into the twilight hours, returning earlier and earlier from her scavenging and harvesting, and even stranger was she hadn’t been able to find her groove. 

It was as though it had disappeared completely, a figment of her imagination. The trees looked the same, the path well worn by her own two feet and yet she could never seem to reach it. It always seemed just around the next bend and it made her brain wobble. 

Her reality was somehow shifting and changing, as though those years after her parents passing had been just a daydream. But now she knew how to survive loss. Knew how to put her head down, focus on her work, her garden, the townspeople, her home. One day in town on an errand she had stumbled upon a scruffy little kitten, skittish and hungry, and had wrapped him up in her arms and brought him home. 

Viper and her were inseparable from that day forth. 

And though every so often she would stare at the forests edge, a wistful sigh escaping her lips, there was a life to be lived. Her life. A life that she had been neglecting for too long and had been too afraid to start.   

Life became a bit easier after that. The realization of wanting a future that made her proud, that would have made her parents proud, focusing her and giving her new purpose. She was no longer that wild girl of her youth, but a woman of healing to those in need. The valley she lived in wasn’t extremely large, but there were enough children with runny noses and achy joints to keep her busy and fulfilled. 

The days, months, even years began to pass in calm waves, time lapping at the shores of her life, peace finding its way back in her heart, her soul.

Though every once in awhile loneliness would come again. A chill in her spine reminding her of all that she had lost, all that she could never have, and the only balm in those moments was pressed between the pages of that old weathered journal. Even years later there still remained a trace of that orange blossom spice between those pages and somehow the blue of the flower remained true. 

She sometimes would worry that one day she would open the journal and the flower would be gone, all traces of those memories erased as if they never existed, but that day never came.

~~~~~

His quest seemed never-ending. The distances he traveled unfathomable even to his understanding. 

It felt like there was no land he had not traversed as he fought and learned and matured. 

A lanky boy no longer but a man, roughened, shaped, cut, molded, and broken apart only to be thrown back together again.

He thought of his flower more often than he cared to admit.

~~~~~

It was the 10 year anniversary of her parents passing. 

A lifetime so it seemed and yet the ache still lingered fresh every year on the day. 

She knew it always would and now after so much time it was more comforting than painful, knowing that she would always hold them close in her heart. The pain now a symbol of love not suffering. 

That morning had felt strangely fresh, the air lighter around her as the sun rose above the mountains, an unidentifiable familiarity weaving through the breeze. 

She entered the forest as she always did, though there was no plan for this walk. No need to scavenge, no pressure to look for fresh herbs. This walk was to mourn, to honor her parents and the memories she held of them in this sacred place. 

Weaving between the trees, it somehow felt new to her, like the light had shifted once again, coloring the path before her in the richest of greens. She closed her eyes for just a moment and could almost hear her mothers laugh echo between the branches and leaves above her. A lone tear trickling down her cheek as she couldn’t help but smile at the thought. 

As she aimlessly moved through the forest, she got lost in her own mind. The memories of so many moments flashing before her as she pondered all that she had lived through. A life so full and yet, today, as it happened every year, she felt lonely. No longer achingly so, but still, there was a life she still desired that had never presented itself to her. 

A love like her parents had.

She was no nun by any means, but no one had ever grasped her attention the way she had always dreamed. Maybe she was fickle, cold and reserved, but her heart had suffered much and for some reason no one had ever felt right. 

Her mind continued to weave through her memories, the forest thickening around her as she traveled deeper and deeper into the green. It had been a long time since she had gone this far, but today it felt ok to keep going. As though a solid hand lay at the base of her spine guiding her gently along. 

All of a sudden the tree line broke, that ancient grove appearing before her once more as though it had been waiting for her arrival. 

Her breath stalled in her chest as memories came flooding back faster and faster. The tears, the flowers, the pain, the joy, the tranquility, the confusion, the comfort, the love. 

She collapsed to the soft mossy floor, the feelings bringing back the strongest deja vu, burying her head in her hands as tears blurred her vision. It felt like some kind of dream, some inexplicable moment of fiction. 

Then the breeze kicked up and she smelled it.

Orange blossoms and cinnamon.

And as she opened her eyes, tears tracking down her cheeks, she saw him. 

A man too beautiful to be real crouching before her, a look of devastating devotion etched in his golden irises.

“Hello my flower.”

~~~~~

whoop whoop of course i left it on a cliffhanger come on now it's the best way to do it :))))))) anyways lifes been kinda crazy and so writing has just been not a priority but i had a lot of fun writing this. i definitely don't like writing dialogue hence ending at this point because there haven't been any interactions between these two BUT i missed this and want to push myself to write again and maybe this is the perfect way to do it. so maybe they will interact soonish who really knows <3 reblogs comments are like super duper appreciated and loved so if you liked it or have thoughts or generally just wanna ramble about how hot this man is come hit my line! anyways hugs kisses the whole gambut of affection and maybe i'll be writing to ya soon <333333333

[robotnik-mun]

I've been thinking more on Ken's Echidna Lore as of late, and I really think that the Knuckles comic might have worked better if Echidnaopolis wasn't as technologically advanced.

I say this for a few reasons. For one I think that Echidnaopolis being not some utopian future world would allow for two things- It gives the Dark Legion more of a motive and it also makes them more of a threat. Think about it. Knuckles finding a whole society of Echidnas who have been sealed away and are now suddenly in the middle of whats now a battleground adds tention and stakes to the plot. Knuckles (and by extention the Chaotix) now have to protect these people from an emposing threat with lots of numbers and weapons.

Which also fixes another issue I took with those stories in how the Dark Legion doesn't really have a motive besides "bad guys". Echidnaopolis already is technologically advanced. If they weren't the DL would actually have an apparent cause.

To conclude with these changes the comic would maybe be less "melodramtic drama with contradicting themes/messages". Have it be about a rag-tag group having to protect a civilization once thought to be lost.

(And thats not getting into characters and how Another easy fix would be to make the Brotherhood be a morally grey third party manipulating things from the shadows, but this is already long enough as it is. )

If you have read this far through my incoherrant ramblings, godspeed.

Yeah, pretty much. It's been observed multiple times that the Guardian-Legion conflict, as presented, comes off as a load of nonsense given that Echidnapolis is a modern city with high technology and all that jazz and as such you'd think the Legion wouldn't really have any reason to keep invading beyond spite at this point. The closet we ever get to the absurdity of it all comes from the observation that Echidnapolis' ruling council decides what pieces of technology can be re-introduced, and the multiple times its been brought up that the Guardians use Forbidden Technologies themselves.

Of course, nothing really comes of any of that, and Penders' emphasis on the idea of this being a war of philosophies just highlights how absurd it all is the longer it goes on. Not because that's the POINT, but because of how sloppy the writing and worldbuilding is. He'd have been better off just leaving it at "They were pissed off at being forced to live in the Twilight Zone and want Revenge."

You're correct that Echidapolis being a less high tech place might've given more incentive to see Knuckles and friends protecting it from harm in a more active way. That said, one approach I've seen with regards to the Legion thing is that it's not Pro-Tech vs Anti-Tech, but more like "Pro-Limitiation vs No-Limitations". Echidnapolis, thanks to the Enerjak incident, now has a very conservative mindset regarding technological progress and how it impacts the Echidna people. The LEgion by contrast would see things as "Progress No Matter What Damn The Consequences"... for them its not a matter of asking "SHOULD we replace our bodies with non-medically neccessary cybernetics" and more a question of "How MUCH of my body can I replace and how soon?", and them basically deciding they're going to force everyone to see how correct they are regardless of what people actually feel about the matter.

Of course, all of that would rely on a degree of insight and nuance that Penders couldn't manage if his life depended on it. Whatever merits his ideas have, they're always going to be hampered by Penders himself.

[readyandnot]

ready rambles~

sovereign state season one finale

part three thoughts

spoilers under the cut

* well already the thumbnail is basically inversion- so i hoped that they wouldn’t summon in the middle of the stadium cause that’s fucking terrible.

* I CALLED IT

I FUCKING CALLED ITTTT

* STARLIGHT GETTING THEIR MEMORIES BACK LETS GOOO

* let’s talk about the memories cause omg- THEIR FIRST MEETING, it’s so crazy to see that their dynamic really isn’t any different, and avior is the same guy hence why he was sarcastic again when he pulled starlight back in- now of course his sarcasm is limited because he did fall in love with starlight BUT ITS STILL THERE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN

* next- the HEALING GOD THERES SO MANY HEALING SCENES IN THIS SERIES; i wonder how starlight got injured? they must have tried a plan that didn’t work? maybe got lost in a circle? nevertheless AVIOR STARTING TO GET SOFT WITH STARLIGHT I CANT the fact that he calls them “human” bro come on we all know you have a cuter nickname you can use LMAO; hearing the teasing and laughing from him AFTER SEEING HIM HURTING FOR SO LONG, it’s so bittersweet, i hope we can see him like this again in the future after everything

* also THE PARALLEL OF AVIOR NOT BEING COMPLETELY TRUSTING TO STARLIGHT VS WHEN STARLIGHT WASNT SURE IF THEY COULD TRUST HIM WHEN THEY GOT PULLED BACK IN I CANTTTT

* next- the kissing. i am still not over it. i have listened to this audio 5 times now, and i’m still not over this part. IM IMAGINING WHAT LED UP TO THIS AND WHAT HAPPENED AFTER AHHHHH; the teasing in between kisses. i love them so much. THE PASSION. THE LOVE YOU CAN TELL THEY FEEL FOR EACH OTHER.

* then, the “confession” scene i’ll call it; i hc that this is right after that previous memory (cause let’s be honest that was getting hot and heavy-) but i’d like to think after all that they talked about it and that’s where this memory comes in. HES SO SOFT FOR STARLIGHT, i’m just imagining him grabbing their face and just ADMIRING THEM. he’s such a romantic holy shit

* THE FINAL MEMORY OF THEM TALKING ABOUT THE COFFEE SHOP. OMG. the “starlight, look at me, please.” gets me every damn time. his comfort is soft and so beautiful it truly makes me so happy. i love this relationship so much.

* “i love you. so much.” STARLIGHT LOVES YOU TOO I PROMISE

* also- can we just appreciate the piano music for a sec? BECAUSE ITS SO SIMPLE YET SO BEAUTIFUL. i love using the music as another form of storytelling, it’s such a nice addition and doesn’t take away from anything, i love and have loved it so much. it’s so calming in a way. i wonder what music he used…

* THEYRE HOMEEEEEEE LETS GO; to all you non believers… haha :)

* THE DISBELIEF, THE REUNITING AND HUGGING, THE SIGHS AND SHUDDERS OF RELIEF- chef’s kiss, a wonderful reuniting

* SO STARLIGHT WANTED AVIOR TO GO THROUGH THEIR MIND- the parallel of avior telling them he could use that as a trick- BUT THEM SUGGESTING IT NOW OMG; i mean it makes sense, i honestly would’ve done the same because one- i would want him to see what i saw and two- it is really hard to explain and quote like it’s nothing so it’s a perfectly valid way to explain

* THE HESITATION. THE CONSENT. TAKE NOTES CUTIE.

* “behind this wall, come on.” I IMAGINE HE GRABBED THEIR HAND AND PULLED THEM UP AHHHH

* avior baby i’m sorry you’re overwhelmed but you had to see that. THE FACT THAT HE KNOWS THEY HAVE THEIR MEMORIES BACK, I CAN SEE THE SHOCK AND REALIZATION ON HIS FACE

* “and how do you feel about that?”

* [what i think starlight said]

“like this…” AND GOES TO KISS HIM COME ON ITS PERFECT

* THE KISSINGGGGG SUCH UTTER PERFECTION- THE MELTING INTO IT FUCK

* listen avior, priorities are priorities- kissing your partner after so long before coming to terms with your mission is definitely a top priority. i don’t blame you one bit lol

* “i’m still trying to wrap my head around the idea that you don’t fucking hate me!”

* “i never hated you.”

* so…. it happened on new year’s eve. I KNEW THE THUMBNAIL HAD TO DO WITH INVERSION

* also the fact that they were there for over two years and it was only less than one hour in the real world??? can someone do that math cause i cant-

* THE SIMPLE THINGS LIKE A DARK ALLEY AVIOR I GET IT ITS OKAY

i hate to see characters cry, but this time it’s understandable, and it’s not like a heartbreak cry, it’s a relief. something that avior and starlight needed- relief.

* THEY COULD HEAR THE PORTAL OPEN??? THEY CANT BE THAT CLOSE; AVIOR DO NOT GET ANY CLOSER I DONT WANT YOU TO BE LIKE GAVIN

* and then they stopped hearing the screaming, because that’s how quick the decision was made by david. holy shit. it sounded like it was forever because we heard everyone’s perspectives when in reality it was less than a minute, and we finally saw that. that’s crazy.

* “too late to stop this tide.” SO WHAT ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO DO NOW???

* “we just traded one hell for another” WAIT ITS NOT YOUR FAULT COME ON NOW

wow, all i can say is wow. this series is something i did not expect i would come to love so much when i first listened- but it had me hooked from the first audio. now i was one of the luckier ones and got to catch up before the “confession” audio. but i still had to wait and feel everyone’s pain of the wait LOL

but it was so worth it. getting to this point to where we’re almost caught up in the current timeline is worth it. seeing the character development slowly going from slow burn to not and reuniting was worth the wait.

avior has definitely risen up in my ranks for the characters because his development and arc is a beautiful thing. we saw him at his lowest and highest moments, we saw him make mistakes, learn and love. he is a character that i’ve grown to love and i’m sure other people have as well.

starlight. starlight is truly one of my favorite listeners at this point- they’re such an intriguing person, no wonder avior fell for them LMAO, but they have this personality that’s infectious and a soul that’s admirable; they are a person who is stubborn in the best way possible and it’s been amazing seeing how they dealt with the situation. and how they are with avior back then, when they got back in, and how they are now!

i’m so excited for season two, i have a lot of theories and ideas- for example, how they could possibly meet people working for project meridian, or helping take down closeknit with sunshine and elliott (maybe even sweetheart?), and maybe even colliding with vega and warden at some point! there’s so many options and ways this can go, and i’m so thrilled to see that they’ll do it together.

thank you redacted for such a wonderful series and i speak for everyone when i say that we cannot wait for what will go on in season two.

what’s next- now i believe we would get more updates with the balance after the avior season one finale! that’s going to be something- just back to back angst WE DO NOT HAVE A BREAK LOL, but i’m so excited for the balance and the upcoming simpler videos! let’s see what the next lineup has in store :)

ps- vote for milo for march redactness HE DESERVES TO WIN OKAY SAM ALREADY WON

here’s to the believers o7 thanks for reading <3

[zvdvdlvr]

⭐ -> star! ships. send your sexuality, gender, and a description of yourself and what fandoms you're in. ( as long as i'm in said fandom lol ) ill ship you with 1 or 2 characters!

I'm a straight female and my pronouns are she/her. I'm in the Harry Potter, marvel and stranger things fandoms!

I'm fairly introverted and it takes me a while to warm up to people. I love reading, my room is filled with stacks of books. I especially enjoy mysteries, poetry and Russian literature!I adore adventures, witty and playful banter, pulling harmless pranks, joking around and having indepth discussions on anything and everything. I love helping out and people come to me to vent or for advice and comfort. I'd consider myself really smart and I'm very ambitious; I love being the best at everything I do. I daydream a lot and I'm a hopeless romantic! I enjoy all forms of art and I have quite a few creative hobbies! I'm 5'9 and I have long and curly dark brown hair and brown eyes. I dress mostly in relaxed suits, blazers and coats and I love the occasional dress or sweaters layered over a white button down! I'm a taurus and a ravenclaw

Thank you very much!! Congrats on the milestone, here's to so many more followers ❤️

Thank you so much :((( <333

I do apologize though if this is bad, as i have never done this before. I love seeing those posts witg like people requesting ships with themselves and other characters and i thought it was cool so i wanted to try and im rambling but you get the point

From the MCU, i ship you with:

Loki Laufeyson

and

Peter Parker/Spiderman

𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 would definately have you read to him on a lazy morning/midday! Loki would love hearing about any random thoughts/daydreams you have. Would 100 percent help you decide on outfits and collaborate with you every once in awhile. When you and Loki inevitably find yourselves in Avenger's tower, you both would definately pull a couple pranks ( loki would probably take the fall for you lol ). Any drawing or sketch you gift Loki would be kept in a special spot and would never be crinkled, lost, or torn. I feel like you and loki would probably banter quite a bit ( nothing harmful! ) just to hear your smart remarks- Loki loves what your brain can come up with in the heat of the moment!!

𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 would fanboy over the way you dress since he isnt one to dress up unless theres a really good reason and overall you just look good🤷. If its tom holland spidey you like, peter would tell you about his spiderman thang when you started dating or whatvs idk. WORSHIPS the advice you give him- and probably says some 'damn thats pretty smart why didn't i think about that?' when you put in your two cents about his issues. OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY I HAVE AN IDEA THAT I MIGHT WRITE A BLIRB OR SMTH ABOUT: when you paint realistic portraits and you need like a change of scenery or just something natural to take inspiration from, peter would have you pack up some water bottles, cups, snacks, your canvases, and paints in a drawstring and swing to a relatively natural environemnt ( i.e: a minimal amount of buildings, yada yada yada) and talk to you or listen to music while you painted

From the Stranger Things universe I ship you with...

Steve Harrington

i <3 my babyboy

𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 ( season 2+ ) would looooove taking it slow and letting you warm up to him- trust is important. His rich ass would probably buy you blazers/suit jackets/ basically anything you want. Would probably ask you to draw random things he thinks about during the day. Such a worrywart tbh- especially when you drive to that one diner in town without telling anyone so you could get a shake and basket-o-fries and brush up on your Russian readings. Super protective as well. If you were with him and Robin during their little Scoops Troops thing: expect him to hold on to you while hugging just a little longer.

From Marauders era Harry potter universei ship you with

Remus Lupin

loml tbh

𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐮𝐬 is lowkey a quiet guy with people he doesn't know. Understands social cues ( specifically yours ) and can easily calm you down if you have anxiety about something. Would probably tell you about Moony on accident, but would be happy that you knew so he didn't have to keep lying to you. Would rant and vent about all the dumb shit James n Sirius do and how Remus gets frustrated thaf Peter just follows them instead of saying what he needs to say. Compliments your dressing style and admires from afar. Would watch over your shoulder as you sketch/draw, loving watching the way your hand moves in a way that could create such a pretty thing. Please climb a tree and hang out with him

Golden trio era:

George Weasley

silly billy georgey porgey

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 would be a big fan of pulling pranks with you, even if you don't want to do take the blame for it. Could sit and watch you make art for hours <3. Sorry not sorry would call you his little arm rest. Absentmindedly braids your hair when he's bored ( he knows how to braid because Ginny went through a phase when she was a kid when she wanted her hair braided 25/8). Loves hearing you talk about your ambitions and goals, and helping you when you're indescisive. You'd get a sweater from Molly and thats when you knew you were part if the family

𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧 𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 <33

[catt030516]

The burning fire of our fallen tree makes me reminiscent youth. Coon hunting till late, starting a big fire, pulling the trucks around it. Getting drunk.

Being in love like never before.

You can’t replicate being naive. We actually never used anything. I think we thought we were going to just have babies and live happily ever after.😂😂😂 we never had any which must have just have been the universe.

But, he broke up with me because (I told you the cologne story) I wasn’t forthcoming about hanging out with someone of the opposite sex. Then his dad signed him out of school the next day.

In response to him having a cheating scandal or two with his ex and Mary.

Like I said I miss being naive. Because now that I look at it without the “buts…” it’s harder to just blame me. He hurt me w/o excuse. I did the same. Wish I’d have been stronger and then I’d have been less scared of the truth. And he had no reasons to cheat on me. That was mean.

Just saw Mike in my driveway today. Asked me how the fire was.

I instantly thought:

“Kelly? Cate? For the love of Christ why did you fuck that up and give this man another shot when he was clearly fucking another woman???!?!?”

Fear.

Fear of change.

Fear of what others would think.

Its almost always fear. Fear prevents more unhappiness then any straight up abuse does.

I was scared to lose my kids. I was afraid he’d take them from me. At that point in his life, Buoy did nothing but support and love me. He was good with Evan who was two. And I never appreciated that until it was too late.

And damn, Bukowski said it best:

“…and there’s nothing ever worse than “Too late.”

We get such a small flicker of time on this wheel of karma tic life, and it’s amazing what lengths we go to to gain the favor of someone or everyone else but ourselves. Just so we can live another lifetime ( I believe within our own family lines) and try to do it correctly.

**If I’m rambling quit reading because I’m copying it/pasting it for the journal entry I have to do😂😂**

I think the hardest decisions are the ones the ones we carry out in length because we are afraid. Afraid of hurting someone. So we what? Hurt ourselves? Hurt other people with us? Hurt our futures.

There was a time, when for approx. a month I would be sat down on Sundays prior to leaving to go home. You’d give me these dancing words, basically you were trying to say, “Look, I feel like lost. I need more of you.”

You are human. It would be hard to process, but with Evan, hell, I have asked his father. Even 6 months was not unreasonable. But in your confusion you let her, exactly a year to the week,come and tell you you were together.

Which was made clear to everyone but her.

After every sacrifice I’d ever given you. After all of the missed holidays, swallowed grief, sleepless night, long drives. Shared secrets. Shared motherfucking secrets.

Just because you could never look up and say, “yes, Dawn. You moved out I’ve been seeing someone. It’s going well. I don’t hate you. You are the mother of my children. We both made mistakes. But I understand and respect the life you’ve made this year as well. I’m sure you will respect my life as I respect your

Instead, it was jokes and dancing instead of answering the direct question. Who knows WHAT you are are afraid of. Maybe your just a borderline who can’t exist without the presence of chaotic relationship? I honestly have to admit I DONT know. I can’t know you at all after any of that, can I?

So for about a month you’d have these talks with me. Usually right after sex once I was dressed and ready to leave to make the drive home. Instead of saying, “I’m lonely don’t leave” you’d act like a stepdad/someone who was not Ron. You’d tell me how you weren’t divorced. All this bullshit I will never listen to again in my life. You acted like I didn’t have someone I just lost! Someone your cowardice denied me the right to sit at his funeral. The nerve of you.

Yes, I was very caught up in my feelings. When Ronda found me passed out barely breathing there’s no way to describe how angry I was she found me. I acted like Sylvia Plath.

And why wouldn’t I? I was begining to experiance the very long eulogy that is burying a man that never existed. Whose not physically dead. But there’s nothing NOTHING left of who I thought I knew.

I understand a lot of people live the way they do. It’s about the years, not the rules or any degree of happiness. I want you to remember (and I’m sure you do) who was really there for you, when you were hard? working Friday nights, when things were upside down with your mom. Did you ever have to worry about me running around Ron, Did you? Did you ever? Did you care when your kids heartbeat stopped or were you relieved? I at least bought in to the fact I was part of your family. I introduced myself to the nurse as your girlfriend. Stupid me. Should’ve told her to hurry in and close the door.

“ I’m the mistress. Yes it’s been a year my boyfriend is afraid of his wife finding out and not being his friend anymore.”

😂😂Could you fucking imagine? Me putting up with you in that capacity??

Yeah, I can’t either.

That fear made all of that even harder then it had to be. Just because you couldn’t just say the truth. You drug this out so long, have said or done things nearly unforgivable ( I forgive once I process, for very selfish reasons.)

I hope you had a nice time we were together. I hope you long to feel how wonderful it was since wAaaay back in Angola. I hope it felt good to have me there next to you. Inside of me in our bed you now share with Dawn.

Because unless you’re

on your knees pleading for apologies for your egotism and dishonesty, you’ll never so much as kiss my cheek.

Ron Stroupe died last December. I don’t know who you are or why you’d think I’d put up with any of your antics. Please don’t cause this home, the home that brought you in without question, anymore damage.

The Ron Stroupe I knew had an estranged wife. He isn’t afraid to tell her about me. He wouldn’t have done that to us. He was a man. Hard or not, he was a man, not a coward.

6/23/2023

Can you celebrate 29 years or do you have to jump back to year 27 1/2?😂😂😂

[childe-dni]

Say it Again

xiao x reader

word count: 850

genre: modern college au, fluff

warnings: none

what has you more irritated; your college professor or the lack of attention you're receiving from your boyfriend?

a/n; not quite sure how I feel about this one but I'm still posting it. also this is extremely self indulgent because I am in love with Xiao and we are actually dating in real life

“... but it turns out, the assignment was actually due the next week instead of yesterday, so we were right but the Prof forgot and stressed us all out for nothing”, you went on, your frustration becoming more pronounced with each word.

You were laying on your boyfriend, Xiao's, bed, ranting to him about the events from earlier in your day while he was busy having a kick out of the new gaming console he bought recently. You weren’t sure how long you’d been rambling for, only that recalling what happened had reignited the embers of your irritation from before. Sighing, you rolled over to look at Xiao who didn’t seem to be paying much attention at all as he smashed the buttons on his new controller. With an eye roll, you sat up and let your feet dangle off the edge of his bed.

“And the most he did was send an apology email to the class where he barely even apologised, he just basically said ‘damn that’s kinda tough’ and that was it. Asshole”, you huffed, giving Xiao another glance. No reaction.

“Then after class,” you continued, mentally deciding to make it your mission to attract your boyfriend’s attention. “I went out with some friends, to get some food. Some were guy friends.” You enunciated the last part in attempts to gain some kind of response but, once again, Xiao remained silent.

“We got almond tofu,” you spoke, eyes glued to him, waiting for even a hitched breath.  Nothing.

“And I realised my eyesight is better in my right eye than my left.” By now you were saying any and everything to see if you could get so much as an eyebrow twitch out of him.

“And I find it super cool that your name romanised is only four letters long but three of them are vowels. X – i – a – o, Xiao~” you dragged on as you fell back on his bed, pretty much surrendering to his new game console.

“Mm, could you say that again?” you heard Xiao mutter. At first you thought he was speaking to someone on his online game but then you realised he wasn’t even wearing a headset.

“Were you not listening?” you scoffed.

It's not like you were actually mad at him. He had been looking forward to getting this console for archons know how long so it came as no surprise that he became so engrossed in it so quickly. It was just unfortunate that when you wanted to complain about something he was so obviously distracted. In all honesty, you doubted he listened to your rants very often but in most cases he would at least pretend to.

“What?” Xiao glanced at you with an eyebrow raised and you could have sworn there was a slight look of hurt in his eyes for the brief moment that you saw them. “Of course I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

Immediately, your face started to heat up. Of course you knew that your lover was more of a listener than a talker, but you didn't expect him to pay attention so often, especially when you were spewing nonsense and you both knew it. But if he really was telling the truth then on top of him paying attention, he did it just to hear you talk because he enjoyed it.

Xiao noticed your sudden silence and a smirk gradually made its way across his lips while his amber eyes shimmered with something between amusement and endearment.

“Especially when you cuss. ‘s’cute”, he breathed out with mirth, the smile on his face only growing bigger while the temperature of your face only went higher.

“And I also like when you call my name. Can you say it again for me?” your boyfriend turned to you as he set his controller down mid-game, letting it run on in the background.

By now your heart was fluttering with embarrassment and you felt butterflies in your stomach. He really had been listening but you made the assumption that he didn’t care. And this also made you wonder how many stupid things you’ve told him in passing that you assumed he hadn’t taken in but he had actually retained.

It was rare for Xiao to be so forward and it honestly caught you completely off guard. You forgot that even he enjoyed small pranks and could be a tiny bit of a sadist at times, finding entertainment in watching you writhe. Perhaps it was a result of his time spent with Hu Tao... you’re going to have to talk to her about that.

“Oh, uhm, X-xiao?” you spoke as if it was a question, one he answered by snickering as he made his way over to you.

Xiao crashed down on the bed beside you, teal hair sprawling itself out on the sheets. When he turned to face you, his honey coloured irises bewitched you, rendering you utterly speechless.

With his hand slowly latching onto yours and a small smile spreading across his lips, Xiao spoke again, “could you say that just one more time?”

[jeonfiles]

once more to see you | kth 01

pairing: taehyung x reader ft. seokjin

genre: angst, fluff, unrequited love

synopsis: taehyung is the complete opposite of you, and you're so in love with him. he's not interested in you at all, but he's willing to pretend so he won't be known for breaking the sweetest girl in school's heart. he knows you'll end up hurt either way.

warnings: taehyung is an idiot, a lot of pining, y/n is annoyingly dependent on validation, y/n does a lot of silent prayers, y/n is a track star, childhood bsf seokjin (cute), mentions of deceased family member

music for this chap: she had the world , carry me out

a/n: taehyung will disappoint u in the beginning but hes cute i promise

"I get why you like him Y/N," Sohee swallowed the rest of her sandwich before finishing her sentence, "He's so hot. People say he's interested in you too, y'know?"

Sohee visibly tried to get food out from the back of her mouth using her tongue, and it made you chuckle at the sight. "I don't think he does." You sighed, resting your chin in your palm.

You were both situated at the table in the inner corner of the cafeteria, with a full view of who walks in the door, and sometimes you swore you could see Sohee drool when attractive guys walked in that exact door.

"Hello, of course, he does! Even his friend Jimin told Kang Seulgi from Class 1, who told Go Euntaek in class 3, who eventually told his girlfriend Baek Ho-rang who ran to me to tell me the great news." Sohee gasped for air after rambling, and you rolled your eyes,

"Stories change when that many links contribute." You scoffed, sitting back in your chair and reaching for your juice box on the table, taking a huge slurp, which you knew would annoy Sohee.

"You don't believe me? Guess we gotta ask a link closer to the source then." Sohee stood up from her chair, and you looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Park Jimin, get your ass over here will ya?" She nearly shouted across the cafeteria, and now all looks were pointed at you two, and you felt the urge to just slip down the cracks of the floor tiles and hide there forever grow stronger for each nanosecond.

You sunk further down on your tacky, orange chair, but you could still see Jimin's black locks sway a little over the crowd as he walked over to the table you were sitting at.

"What's up sugar?" Jimin smirked at Sohee, and Sohee didn't even budge, and you had no idea how she did it. He was stupidly attractive and could make any girl drop her pants with a comment like that.

"Jimin my dearest, a little birdie told me that Taehyung likes my sweet Y/N, could you confirm?" She batted her long lashes and smiled prettily at Jimin.

He looked to the left, sucked his teeth, and said, "I can't, I'm sorry." You realized you had grown a little too hopeful, and your heart sunk quite a bit when he spoke.

"Does he think I'm pretty at least?" You spoke up, eyes shining when you looked up towards the standing Jimin, the harsh lights in the cafeteria reflecting in them.

"He hasn't mentioned you much, to be quite honest." He shrugged, walking back to his table, where Taehyung and the rest of his friends sat.

Your heart thumped when he met your eyes, and you looked away in panic. The rest of lunch was just Sohee apologizing and you avoiding eye contact with any of the students at the nearby tables.

Jimin mentioned you and Sohee's name several times, he was a loud speaker, and you were so scared of what he was saying you could probably die right then and there.

Saved by the bell, you picked up your stuff and got ready to start running to your classroom, praying you wouldn't meet any of Taehyung's friends, and especially not Taehyung as you ran Usain Bolt style.

You looked down while running, not thinking twice about leaving your best friend behind, you suddenly fell to the ground with a thud. This was surely not one of your glory days.

When you looked up, you wanted to cry. It was none other than Kim Taehyung, and he didn't look pleased. You gathered your things and muttered "Sorry." under your breath probably about 10 times, and he just watched, disappointingly.

"You're a klutz. Why were you running?" He spoke, and your knees turned into jelly when you tried to stand up, you nearly fell and dropped all your stuff again, but he caught you by the arm, straightening you up like it was nothing.

"Uh... Uhm... Err..." you mumbled, and he rolled his eyes, and not in a joking manner. "Fuck that, why are you going around telling people I like you?"

Your breath hitched, and he stared at you coldly. "I didn't! Gosh, my friend Sohee told me someone had told her that you liked me, and- uh... We asked Jimin, and-" He put his hand over your mouth, making you shut up.

"I don't want you two to go around making up baseless rumors about me, it's incredibly annoying for me to go around correcting people who assume shit just because your little friend speaks louder than a bunch of hyenas at a tea party." Taehyung nearly spat, and you took a step back.

You noticed that people were listening in, their stares burning holes in your back. He was livid, and you didn't understand why, you just smiled, praying to god that this would end soon.

"I just thought you liked me-" You began, and he interrupted you, "You thought I was gonna like someone like you? Get over yourself and enter the real world."

The hallway went silent, your lips trembled as hot tears raced down your face, and like the track star you were, you fled the scene and passed the finish line into the bathrooms.

You stayed till the school day ended, not knowing what was unraveling outside the four walls of the stall.

Sohee 💜: 01:12 pm

Y/N, where are you? i heard what happened :( i hate taehyung im gonna chop his sausage off

Sohee 💜: 01:38 pm

taehyung is fighting w doyoung because doyoung decided to defend you this is hilarious

but fr where are you

Sohee 💜: 01:57 pm

doyoung gave taehyung a black eye damn

doyo is on the verge of tears when taehyung said you liked him and not doyo

taehyung cant not have feelings for you like there must be smth deeper going on

Sohee 💜: 03:39 pm

class just ended i'll wait out back

Sohee always knew when to leave you alone, so she did, partially. You usually shut off your phone when you're upset, but she still sends you texts to update you whenever you turn it back on.

This time, it was quite dramatic, and you rushed out of the icky stall and ran (again) to reach Sohee to get the full story, and as you expected, it was interesting.

"Basically, Doyoung punched Taehyung and Taehyung was a little too OP, so he failed to initiate a fight, so it just turned into Taehyung being an ass to Doyoung for defending you." She shrugged, adjusting the straps of her leather backpack as you walked home.

"Taehyung's rep is so tainted right now, I don't know how he's gonna fix this my dear Y/N, so I guess he got his karma. He's an idiot and I'm glad other people are starting to see."

You nodded yes, pushing out a fake chuckle, while silently you prayed that everything would soon be back to normal and that Taehyung would forgive you for the mess you caused.

Being in love with Taehyung for a year had taken a toll on you, and your best friend since freshman year had noticed too. You were different.

You used to be so independent and optimistic, but now you would strive for validation, and you had turned into one of the most insecure people Sohee had ever met.

Sohee tried to pull you away from him, but to her demise, it only got worse when you tried to meet other guys. She figured that the only way for you to disconnect from him was if you had your go with him, or if he treated you like a complete idiot.

You waved goodbye to Sohee as you entered your house, kicking off your shoes and throwing yourself down on the couch. You wanted to scream, but you saw your brother's and another guy's shoes in your hallway, so you kept it inside.

After having watched an episode of Seinfeld, you could hear the floorboards creak, and your gaze found its way to the hallway, where your brother, Yoongi stood, peeking out from his door.

"Ah, Y/N, you're the one who's home?" He smiled brightly, eyes turning into small crescents, which made you awe at the sight.

"Yuppers." You said and sat back again, pressing play to start the next episode. "Who's your guest?" And as you uttered your last word, another head peeked out from the door, and you couldn't help but feel the happiness brew inside you.

It was Kim Seokjin in all his glory, and this time, he looked even hotter. It had been about two years since you last saw him because he moved to Germany to study medicine.

Seokjin had been your neighbor since you were born, and you pretty much grew up with two older brothers who always took care of you.

No one dared to mess with you, because Seokjin and Yoongi always got to them first. That way, you grew up without a care in the world, protected from all evil.

You had no idea when you fell in love with him. It was somewhere during puberty, where your interest in Brad Pitt and Kim Soohyun from Dream High had grown stronger.

You remember Seokjin was scouted for modeling, acting, and even idol groups all through your childhood. He did a few ads, photoshoots, a popular teenage drama called Double Trouble, and even managed to get his own Wikipedia page.

There was no doubt that Seokjin was an attractive man, and in the two years he had been gone, his face fat was completely gone, and he had defined cheekbones, a slimmer and tighter figure, and you thought he couldn't be any more perfect.

"None other than God himself," Seokjin said smugly, opening his arms to greet you with a hug, and you threw your blanket you were covered into the side as you bolted into Seokjin's arms, legs wrapped around his waist.

He slowly put you down so your feet touched the parquet, and you felt a kind of euphoria as he smiled at you again, the same smile he had flashed you as long as you could remember.

Everything about Seokjin had matured and changed, but his smile remained the same. "What are you doing back?" You sniffled, holding back the happy tears that were forming in your eyes.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, I love Germany, but it's a little bland. I miss ahjumnas complimenting me on the subway and the bomb ass food here in SK." Seokjin grinned as he wiped a tear that fell down your face.

Yoongi was leaning against the door frame, smiling at the grand reunion. You knew he liked seeing you two together, and you had a small suspicion about him shipping you guys.

"Please don't ever leave again." You gripped onto his shirt, digging your face down in his chest, and he said, "I swear to god if you're wearing makeup right now-"

You laughed as you pushed him away, placing your hands below your chin and batting your eyelashes dramatically, "I'm all-natural."

"Naturally pretty." Seokjin leaned forward and whispered in your ear, and your heart did a little somersault.

Seokjin's always been a charmer.

You woke up in your room, pink sheets draped over your half-naked body as tons of messages poured in on your phone, vibrating so much it nearly fell off the edge of your nightstand.

You grab it while rubbing your eyes, and you're shocked to see the messages that had exploded on your lock screen.

Unknown: 08:39 am

Hey, it's Kim Taehyung.

Look, I'm sorry for the shit I said to you and I would love to make it up to you in some kind of way.

Maybe I could take you out?

I get it if you don't want to, but I heard you were interested in me so...

What kinda food do you like? Activities, hobbies?

I really wanna make this right :)

You: 08:43 am

oh hey! I'd love to, you kinda owe me one. if it's your treat, I suppose we could get some sushi and boba...

btw I don't like u like that

Contact made, saved as "taehyung <3" at 08:44 am

taehyung <3: 08:47 am

Okay. Meet me at Nori Table at 6 pm. Don't make me wait.

Your heart was palpitating, and when you pressed your phone up to your chest, you could feel your body heat up from your scalp to your toes.

Maybe Kim Taehyung had no interest in you right now, but he sure would after tonight. You were gonna make him love you, soon enough,

Running to the shower a few hours of Seinfeld later, you scrubbed with all your might with your newest strawberry scrub, did your makeup, curled your hair, and sat down on the couch, outfit draped over the armrest of the chair.

It was an hour till you were leaving, so for the time being you sat with hair rollers in your hair, dressed in pink sweats. Seokjin and Yoongi had been awake all night, you had heard them laugh and play Mario Cart all night, it reminded you of old times.

Old times where you went to bed crying because Yoongi and Seokjin's bedtime was later than yours at sleepovers. Thinking back, your parents made a pretty rational decision, but you resented them for it.

When Seokjin left for school in Germany, during your Sophomore year you cried again. You thought it was so unfair that you had to be two years younger, why couldn't you come with him?

You were painfully in love with him, and you had been probably since you were. A few months after he moved, your feelings faded. You were love-free, only to fall stupidly in love again with Taehyung just a year later.

You were forced to snap out of your train of thought because you heard the floorboards creak again. When you looked over at the dark hallway, you saw a tired, yet familiar face smile at you.

Seokjin looked quite disoriented, hair ruffled and eyes puffy, yet he looked like a Greek god. Sculpted to perfection, he smiled at you like he did yesterday and all the times before.

"Morning." He grunted out, his morning voice prominent. You chuckled when you looked at the time, feeling kind of bad for Seokjin who had slept away the majority of his day, which you knew he didn't like.

"It's 5 pm, cutie. Mom said you guys could order takeout, cause she's working late." You stood up, and Seokjin gave you a good look up and down, and then diverted his gaze to the lavender ruffle skirt and white long-sleeve blouse you had neatly hung over the armchair.

"What's the occasion?" He nodded over at the clothes and then your hair rollers and full-face makeup-covered face. He threw a few walnuts from the little bowl on the coffee table into his mouth.

"It's none of your business, but I have a date tonight," you said smugly, and a walnut flew out of Seokjin's mouth in shock.

"A date? Like a real one?" He frantically asked, and you nodded as you walked away with your outfit in hand.

You came back out minutes later, and Seokjin had to hold his mouth shut so it wouldn't drop to the floor. You had matured so well, a white blouse adorning your waist, and the lavender skirt hugged your curves nicely.

You had decorated your neck and ears with golden jewelry, and you had a pair of Air forces dangling from your left hand. You were beautiful, hair let free from the hair rollers, curls swaying as you did a twirl.

"It's alright, I guess." He pretended not to care, and your proud grin morphed into a frown pretty quickly, and he noticed.

He stood up and walked towards you, standing very close. His tall figure was hovering over you. Seokjin leaned forward towards your ear, not whispering this time,

"You're gorgeous." He pushed your curls behind your shoulder, adjusting your golden necklace as he returned to Yoongi's bedroom.

You were screwed.

The time on your phone showed 6:06 pm. You recall him saying ‘don’t be late’. What a hypocrite. It had started to pour down, so you were squeezed up against the brick wall of the restaurant so the ledge above you would shield you from the rain.

You were shaking from the cold, legs exposed because of your skirt. Sighing deeply, you reached down into your purse to text Taehyung, but when you looked up, you saw him running over to you.

He was holding a bouquet of pink delphinium and peonies. You’d always been interested in flowers, and this small gesture made you all fuzzy inside.

“I apologize for my late arrival m’lady. The flower shop was about to close down for the day, and I had to beg the cashier to let me in, promising to buy a huge bouquet if she did.” He smiled as he stood in front of you.

“No worries sir, I haven’t been waiting for long.” You chuckled, as you accepted the bouquet. His eyes scanned every inch of your body, and he said, “You’re shivering. Let’s go inside.”

This was a side of Taehyung you had barely seen before, caring and warm. This was also the side of him that initially made you fall for him.

The memories of him reading stories for children at the hospital was heartwarming. Whenever you went to visit your brother, who has now passed, you would see him read stories for all the unlucky kids.

Your brother, who was only 7 years old talked about Taehyung like a superhero, and it seemed as if Taehyung’s stories were the highlight of his days at the hospital.

Daejung wasn’t a kid you would pity. In his last months in the hospital he never once cried. You believed that Taehyung was a big part of the reason.

That’s why you fell in love with him. He hadn’t been a superhero in the form of saving lives, but he definitely made a whole lot of sick kids happier.

How could you ever repay him?

Taehyung rested a hand on your shoulder and lead you inside the door, and there stood a beautiful tall woman, black hair to her waist, almond-shaped eyes, and full lips.

She was beautiful. You looked up to see Taehyung’s reaction, and he wasn’t looking at her, he was looking at you. His eyes met yours, and you could’ve sword the whole world stopped.

“Excuse me?” An unfamiliar voice spoke up, and it kicked you right back into reality. It was the pretty woman speaking, an even prettier voice to match her.

“Do you have a reservation?” She questioned, smiling so genuinely from ear to ear. “Yes. It’s on Kim.” Taehyung spoke so confidently.

“Ah, for two. I’ll be your server tonight.” She waved for you to follow her, and before she turned around, you saw her name tag.

Bae Eunmi. A pretty name for a pretty person. Of course, she had to be pretty. Your confidence sunk even lower, and your insecurities grew.

“I’m not interested in her, by the way. I’ve talked to her before. She’s all beauty and no brains. Not for me.” Taehyung whispered into your ear, possibly to reassure you.

You sat down at the table and ordered a huge plate of different types of sushi, maki, nigiri, uramaki, and even sashimi.

This restaurant was fancy, nearly too fancy for your liking. It was huge and flashy, and it made you doubt your outfit choice completely.

The restaurant fell silent since there weren’t many guests here this early. The silence wasn’t awkward between you guys. It was just, too silent, and you decided to break it.

“Do you still write stories?” Taehyung’s face froze. How did you know about the stories he wrote? Had you been stalking him? Was this when everyone would find out how weak he truly is?

“How did you find out... About them?” He asked hesitantly, fidgeting with a small woven basket with bread placed on your table.

“When sun and moon met, moon felt bad. When the moon was alone at night, he cried, because he wanted to shine just like the sun.” You quote his story word by word, it was your favorite paragraph.

He looked at you with a confused look and his eyes told you that he wondered why you knew the story so well.

Before he could speak up, you said, “My brother's name was Daejung. He looked up to you and constantly told me about how he wanted to be like you when he grew up.” You placed your hands on top of his over the table.

Taehyung was speechless. He sat there, body completely frozen as he processed what you just said. The little boy he had mourned for many months was the same flesh and blood as you.

“Daejung told me how he wanted me to marry you because he thought no one else deserved me.” Letting go of his hands, he continued sitting completely still.

First, he felt disappointed in himself. Disappointed of the way he had treated you, how sad Daejung would be if he knew.

Second, he could see him in your traits. Your button nose matched his completely, and your eyes sparkled just the way his eyes did.

Third, he realized he had to take care of you. Fall in love with you, for Daejung. Taehyung had promised the little boy to take care of his friends and family when he has at his worst.

His expression completely changed. It softened, and his eyes looked at you like you were godsent. He believed you were too. It was fate.

join the “once more to see you” taglist

a/n: u guys know the angst isn't over lol u guys r never gonna see the light at the end of the tunnel ! this chapter was originally a bit longer but i have to test the waters and seeing how u guys like it !! pls reblog <3

[mayansmcsblog]

Her world or mine

I have no idea when i wrote this but i found it in my drafts half done so i finished it and- yh that's about it😅

This was meant to be based upon the song her world or mine but i got off track so its only loosely based upon it.

word count: 3640

Enjoy!

He hasn't used the truck for weeks, he had no reason to anymore, being in it only brought back memories of you. The long drives, the short drives too. The way you would hold his hand while he was driving or how you would remind him to pay attention to the road when he looked in your direction for too long. All the memories were fresh within his mind- almost as if it was yesterday. 

Even now, he was only sitting in it, he had to do the beer run and obviously that couldn't be done on a bike, he had to take the truck, but all he could think about was how you used to sit in the passenger seat beside him. He could see it in his mind so vividly, if he didn’t know you had moved on he would swear you were sitting with him. 

Looking at the dash his gaze caught the Polaroid photo that was still in its place next to the radio. Your face accompanied a smile whilst his had his usual ‘tough’ man expression, but if you looked close enough, you would be able to see a small smile placed upon his lips. You took it at one of the infamous Mayans parties, he remembered how it took you around 10 minutes to ‘convince’ him to take it, he wanted to take it from the moment you suggested it but he wondered how far you would go to get him to do it

-

“Please” you had been begging him for the last 5 minutes in attempt to get him to take a photo with you but to no avail

“No” you two were sitting on the bench outside the clubhouse, people surrounding the both of you, everyone was involved on their own conversations so neither of you paid any mind to them. Of course he was still aware of his surroundings but was more relaxed than usual

“But come on” you begged

“No y/n” he kept his face as straight as he could but you could slowly see a shadow of a smirk forming upon his lips

“Why?”

“No face no case” he shrugged with a slight smirk on his face, clearly that was a lie. Not even 20 minus prior you had taken a photo of all of the club members standing outside of the clubhouse per bishop’s request so he could frame it and hang it somewhere within the clubhouse to show off the members.

“Why are you so stubborn?”

“Why are you so adamant? “He questioned

“Because” 

“Because what?” standing up he motioned for you to do so as well,

“Just because”

“Come on follow me”

Standing up you took this hand as led you away from the party,

“Where are we going?”

“To take this god damn photo”

-

Recalling that night he felt a pain inevitably run across his chest, sure you two were only friends when it was taken but that night was the foundation for building the relationship you two once shared. 

Why had he been so stupid to let you go?

He knew he would have to drive past your place to get to the brewery, it was inevitable really. There was no other way unless he was going to drive an extra 30 minutes, which he didn't have time for.

when he reached the turn in to your street he slowed down a little, looking at your house from a distance he could see a car he didn’t recognize in the driveway. As he got closer he could see two people on the porch, he immediately recognized you accompanied by some guy. 

Of course you had someone else.

-----

Sitting on the couch you couldn't help but let your mind drift back to him, you missed his smile, you missed the way he would have a running commentary while watching anything on the TV, you missed how he would hold you after a long day, you missed everything about him.

“You’re thinking about him again, aren't you?” 

You did nothing but hum in response

Your brother had elected to stay with you for a few weeks while he was on a business trip for some type of expansion for the company he worked for. Originally it was a good idea, it kept you mind off Ez, but the more time your brother was here, the more he talked about his wife back home and how he couldn't wait to get back to her just made you think about how you don't have someone in your life to look forward to anymore, you no longer had someone you could tell everything to, someone who would stay by your side, someone you knew would be waiting for you when you were away from home. As much as you loved your brother, you were thankful he was leaving tomorrow

“Im gonna go get a drink” standing up you heard your brother mumble something in response but you elected ignored him and heading to the kitchen.

As you approached the fridge you spotted the picture of you and Ezekiel stuck on the door. You were pretty sure it was Coco who had taken when him, you, Ez and Angel went over the border for a day because none of you had anything to do and for some reason Mexico was the first thing that was suggested. You had been meaning to get rid of it but couldn't bring yourself to. Alot of memories were collected between the four of you, some of them you were just not ready to let go of yet.

By now he was probably already in another relationship so why were you still holding on?

Grabbing a bottle of water you headed outside and sat on the porch steps. You knew there was a party at the clubhouse tonight, Angel had invited you to come, but you knew Ez would be there. 

Did you really want to see a girl all over him while you're still here alone? Because that would definitely happen

Maybe he wouldn't be there? Or maybe he would be too busy doing stuff to even realize you were there 

You were too wrapped up in your own mind to even realize your brother had stepped outside till you heard a creak from the wood behind you 

“Y/n?”

“Yeah” 

“you okay?" He asked sitting beside you

 “yep"

You two sat in silence for a few moments before he started talking once again

“I love you ye? Don’t let that boy ruin you. He lost you by his own fault. You did nothing” he rambled on about how you should have been treated better and how Ez lost the best thing he could ever have. But you knew he was wrong.

Ezekiel always treated you like a queen, your brother met him one time and barely spoke to him for longer than five minutes. As far as you were concerned you brother didn't know anything about him

While he was rambling you were looking into the distance, mainly just looking at the sky but you could have sworn you saw his truck drive past, but maybe you were just seeing things right? His truck wasn't the only one, there were probably millions of them.

-

The party was in full swing, people were everywhere, the room full of patches from all over. mass amounts of people from charters were visiting in celebration of a new deal with the sons, leaving Ez to tend the bar along with some hang rounds.

Wiping down the bar he couldn't help but think about you for the billionth time today. He knew you two broke things off but it didn't mean you had to leave everyone from the club behind as well as him.

"Bro what the hell is wrong with you?" Angel questioned

"Nothing" shrugging his shoulders he dropped the bar rag and turned to get angel a beer from the fridge behind him

"Stop lyin man, what's going on in that head?" Angel knew his own brother better then to believe 'nothing' was going on with him, something was always going on up in Ez's brain, even if he didn't admit it

"I dunno man, I just think it's weird how y/n left us you know?" Ez shrugged again, handing angel a beer

"She didn't leave us. She’s distancing herself. Got a lot of family shit going on right now" he explained, you kept Angel in the loop with everything, after all he was your best friend even before Ez and you got together, if Ez wouldn't tell you something- Angel would.

"Just think it’s weird" Ez repeated, messing with the bar rag once again

"Ya well she’s coming tonight”

Before Ez could respond coco stood next to Angel 

"Who’s comin?"

The brothers looked at each other for a moment before angel came up with an idea 

"Just some random bird for our boy scout to bed"

"My man," Coco chuckled "finally gonna get your dick wet huh?"

----

You knew this was a bad idea, you knew he would be here. 

Was he going to be with another girl? Actually stupid question, of course he would be

Opening your phone you sent angel a text

‘I'm like five minutes out but i swear to God if you abandon me tonight i will hit you so hard that you can't remember anything for a week’

At least he would walk in with you so you weren’t alone right?

---

Angel stood up abruptly in the middle of a conversation he was having

"Where the fuck you going?" Coco questioned, lighting a cigarette from the chair he was sitting in

"Meet a friend"

"A friend huh?"

"Yeah...maybe you'll like her" Angel replied before grabbing his beer and retreating towards the door.

---

Walking through the gate you saw the front of the club littered with patches. Some of them were from different charters. Weird, angel never mentioned other charters visiting, by the look of the outside, you could only imagine the clubhouse itself is packed with people.

Scanning the crowd you spotted the person in question walking towards you

“Hey stupid face”

“good evening stupid head”

“that's basically the same thing i just said” 

"oh shut up i couldn't think of insult fast enough”

Pulling you into a hug you couldn't help but feel a little more relaxed. Angel was always like an older brother to you, an annoying one at that but still a brother.

It had been weeks since you saw him, being back in his company made you feel safe again, almost like a sense of home

He placed a kiss on your temple “We missed you here”

“Yeah, I know” letting him go you looked around, mainly to see if any of the other guys were in sight but also to see if coco was around, expecting to be attacked as per usual. 

Angel took notice of you scanning the crowd “He's inside”

“Hmm? Sorry I got no idea what you're on about”

Pulling you into his side he wrapped an arm around your shoulders “sure ya don't”

Walking inside you scanned the crowd once again, thankfully coco was nowhere to be seen for the moment and most of the guys were spread out around the room. Bishop and Taza were playing pool, Gilly and Creeper were sitting at the table in a conversation whilst hank sat opposite them looking at something on his phone, Ez was tending the bar like usual but this time he was accompanied by some hang rounds.

At least there isn't girls hanging off him yet 

“C'mon let’s get a drink huh” angel lightly shoved you towards the bar playfully.

“No”

“No?” his eyebrows raised playfully

“No and if you try to make me go over there with you i promise i will embarrass you” you laughed 

“Fine”

After he got the drinks you both sat at a table in the corner for a while talking, the majority of the topics were about what had been happening while you were distanced from everyone.

Eventually Coco spotted you two and joined in the conversation. you sat talking to the two of them while everyone else was up to their own things, you didn't mind, the both of them combined made for some very interesting storys, the conversation could never die. After around 10 minutes, Angel had left you two alone saying he “wasn't bout to listen to this shit ''- which was super ironic considering the topic of conversation was about modifications for a new bike coco had brought a few days ago

“How does your bike handle anyway? I heard they are bottom heavy and hard to manoeuvre sometimes” you questioned. overtime Ez had taught you some things about bikes, mainly when he was just rambling about random things not thinking you were really paying attention to what he was saying

“It’s alright i guess, sometimes it slips when I lean too far on corners, other times it tends to not wanna go the way I need to but other than that it handles pretty well, arms hurt like a bitch after long ride though” he explained

Nodding your head you understood where he was coming from, having your arms at that angle for hours must have taken its toll

“Ay '' he nodded his head towards someone behind you, Turning your head you saw it was Ez walking through the door with Angel, seemingly engrossed in some type of conversation they were having.

Despite spotting him earlier you only scanned over his appearance but now you actually took a good look at him, he looked different, not much but still different from before. His hair was in the same style but it little more grown out then usual, his facial hair had grown out a little too. His eyes had bangs underneath them and his face looked drained.

All in all he looked like shit.

“You know he’s not the same without you right?” bringing your attention back to coco you couldn't help but feel like you were to blame, maybe if you fought harder of him you two would have never split.

“You two spoke since?” he questioned

“Nope...I got a few drunk calls saying he was sorry but other than that. No” you shook your head. 

After you two first broke up he called you around a week later rambling about something but since he was slurring his words- you could barely understand anything he was saying. You got about 2 voicemails of him saying he was sorry and how he fucked up but- you never spoke to him, never texted him back when he would ask you if you were coming to one of the parties.

“The amount of times we've had to stop him from drunk calling you is unreal”

Playing with the label on the beer bottle in front of you, you thought about what coco said- clearly Ez had attempted to talk to you at some point, but why? The whole breakup was because he needed “space” to deal with some things so why was he trying to talk to you?

“He wanted space, I gave it to him” you shrugged, slowly peeling off the label

“Didn’t mean you had to leave us too” looking up from the bottle you saw coco was now avoiding your gaze

“Yeah...I know” maybe it was wrong of you to drop everyone, but being around them would have only brought back memories of you and Ez. At the time it seemed like a good idea to distance yourself from all of the guys, but now, despite only being here for a hour, you could tell how much you really missed being around them.

“You know he’s walking over here right?” Dropping your head onto the table you let out a sigh causing coco to laugh “I’ll leave you two alone huh?” lifting your head up you looked at him with a facial expression as if to say ‘don’t leave me’ but he did anyway

“Y/n” his voice was low, almost as if he didn’t believe he was saying your name again

“Ezekiel”

“Can we talk?”

“We are talking” sitting up straight you turned in your seat to look at him. He looked even worse up close- the bags under his eyes were alot darker then they seemed from a distance, they made it appear like he hadn’t slept for days, you couldn’t help but notice he had a bruise slowly forming on top of his right eyebrow.

“What happened there?”

He looked confused for a moment till you pointed to his eyebrow

“Oh I erm…got into a fight.....with a wall” his eyes were trained onto the floor, almost like he was ashamed.

You hummed in response not sure how to respond without laughing 

“So how have you been?” he questions

“Good i guess..how about you?”

“Alright I suppose”

What followed was nothing but silence between the both of you, neither of you knowing what to say. The sounds of other people talking and rock music became almost deafening as the two of you stayed silent

“Well this got really awkward fast” you spoke up causing Ez to laugh a little

“Yeah..yeah it did” he nodded

After a few more moments you stood from your chair “I'm just gonna-”

“Yeah go, i get it go ahead” he finished your sentence for you.

Nodding you quickly made your way outside, the yard was almost empty by now, people had either left for the night or had moved inside.

You spotted Angel sitting on the front steps fiddling with one of the rings on his hand while looking at something in the distance. You sat beside him in silence, neither of you even attempting to make conversation but simply just being trapped within your own minds.

When you and Ez broke up you knew things would change, you knew the two of you probably wouldn't be able to have the same conversations you would before, but you never expected them being so awkward.

Maybe it was just because the wound was still pretty fresh, after all it had only been just over a month

After a few minutes you heard the door behind you open as someone stepped out, seconds later a figure sat next to you, looking over you saw it was coco

“What we doin? havin a lil moment to yourselves” he asked lighting up a cigarette and offering the both of you one

“Yep” Angel responded, taking one and lighting it before looking somewhere in the distance once again. All three of you sat for a few minutes just looking at seemingly nothing in particular.

Maybe it won't be like this forever? At some point there has got to be a time where you can come to the club without feeling awkward because ez’s here.

You heard the clubhouse door open once more behind you and once again, you didn't turn around, but coco did

"Ay man sit" you heard him say as he snapped his fingers at space left beside him to whoever stepped out from the door. It didn't take long for whoever it was to sit down.

Much like he did with you and Angel, Coco offered the person a cigarette which they must of silently declined from the lack of verbal exchange.

There has to be a point when you and the club can all hang out together like before....there has to be a stage where you and Ez can talk like normal people without it being awkward….right?

Seemingly out of no were Coco spoke up, nodding his head towards two stacked benches on the opposite side of the yard "You think i could clear those in one attempt?"

Angel was the first to respond "Absolutely fucking not" he paused for a moment- looking where the benches were stacked "but I'd love to see you try"

"I bet $50 you fail and fall face first" someone spoke up, looking to your left you finally realized who stepped out earlier ..Ezekiel

"Bet, ill prove you wrong" coco stood, taking off his kutte and placing it on the stair rail "you two wanna place any bets?" Coco looked at you and Angel

"Nope, I'm good" you shook your head

"I bet $50 that you don't clear it" Angel responded

"You have no faith pretty boy" coco responded, shaking his head  as he started to walk over to the benches

"This is going to end in a hospital trip" you stated making both Angel and Ez laugh

All three of you watched as coco seemed to examine the height of the two benches, planning the distance he would have to run to gain enough speed to propel himself over them and how he would land the jump

"You think he's gonna snap his nose again?" Ezekiel questioned

"Definitely" both you and Angel replied

All three of you watched as coco began to run towards the benches, from your angle it looked as if he could clear it....you were wrong. 

Seconds later coco was laying face first in the dirt, one leg was on the floor while the other was stuck in a piece of wood on the bench that had broke underneath his weight

"I think i broke my nose" you heard coco exclaimed causing all three of you to laugh. The few people who were still outside drew their attention to the scene and started laughing too when they realized what happened.

"Ill go get some paper towels" you said, still laughing.

Maybe this was a sign nothing had changed between the four of you, that you could all still hang out and do stupid stuff like before

Maybe nothing has to change

-------------

An| hope you enjoyed this fic. Honestly have no idea why or when i started writing this but 🤷🏼‍♀️ . *sorry for any spelling or grammar errors or any parts that don't make sense. only scanned it before posting it*

ALSO- i swear part two to the prank war is coming! Its just talking awhile for me to find a way to describe to things going on as well as being busy with other stuff.

[teenyweenynightghost]

As lucky as the rainbow

A/n: Im sorry. Also. Special dedication to the love of my life, @cantaraiilmionome , who let me write this fic

Warnings: Smut

Word Count: 1.7K

Pairing: Vic X Fem!Reader

Taglist: @fuckim-so-gay @ginny-lily @messyhairday-me @cheese-toastie-11 @wannabemarlenabutiscoraline @simp-per-ethan @maneskinrollercoaster @juststalking @superchrystaldrug @immrbrightsideeee​ @shehaddreamstoo​ @tiaamberxx​ @victoriadeangeliswifey​ @bidet-and-legolas​ @makapaka11​ 

My heartbeat was wild and mostly erupting from my chest as the whole world around me seemed to quiet down. The mesh shirt I was wearing was already crumpled from all the times I had fiddled with it nervously. To be honest, could anyone really blame me? I have been obsessed with Måneskin for ages, and I finally get to see them live. A small, really pesky part of my brain kept bugging me. They would have no reason to like or notice you; why are you even here? Well, that definitely did not help the anxious feeling growing in my stomach.

Suddenly, the crowd erupted in cheers as four rock stars appeared on the stage.

And oh god what they were wearing. A certain blonde caught my attention, one who I was more than familiar with. Victoria strutted on the stage, her bass strap wrapped around her, as a small corset did nothing to cover her. Two black stripes of tape covered each of her boobs and she looked celestial. It was unfair to everyone else! How could she just look like that!?

“Is everyone ready?” Damiano’s strong voice sounded out of the speakers, earning an excited cheer from everyone.

As they started playing, I realised I was no longer anxious. Moving from side to side and jumping along with them, It felt as If the world stopped temporarily just for me to enjoy this moment. It was truly heaven, and their magnetic presence made it infinitely better.

“Now, for a fan favorite…” Damiano spoke into the mic, soon interrupted by the all too familiar notes of For Your Love. Oh god.

I couldn’t decide who to pay attention to; Ethan’s godly form playing the drums in a way I wished he would play my ass, Thomas’ talented fingers strumming the guitar chords, Damiano fucking the stage while singing or-

Oh.

I was one of the lucky ones who got to sit up front. So my view of Victoria was truly a dream come true. Her eyes were closed as she thrusted into the air, her hips moving with precision and skill, as she moved her head backwards in rhythm with the song. Two of her fingers were plucking the chords, clouding my mind with thoughts of what else she could do with them.

The whole song became a vivid fantasy for me, as I kept watching Victoria play, entranced by her sensuality. The song sadly came to a stop, and Damiano started speaking again. My lovely brain, however, could only gaze at Victoria, her wonderful top and fingers.

As If on cue, she knelt down right at the edge of the stage, and winked at me. Wait, she did what? My brain stopped functioning as I kept staring at her, eyes comically wide and mouth hanging open.

She smirked at my reaction, and motioned for me to come closer with her finger. A bodyguard came and opened the barrier, as I made my way through.

I was right in front of the stage, looking in her icy blue eyes. She leaned down and cupped my cheek, shaking it softly.

“Wanna stay here, cucciola?” She asked,  a sultry smile appearing on her face. I nodded eagerly, causing her to laugh, before returning to her band.

The rest of the concert managed to make me so wet I was convinced my knees would give in the second I would try to walk. Between Victoria grinding on the floor right in front of me, making sure to stare right in my eyes, Damiano jumping in the crowd and grabbing Thomas, as well as Ethan being an overall god-like presence.

It was, however, over, as soon as it started. My face fell as they all waved their goodbyes to the crowd, and I turned around, preparing to leave, but was soon interrupted by a guard.

“Miss De Angelis said that she would like you to go backstage.”

That was the second time the girl’s actions shocked me. I certainly hoped it wouldn’t be the last as I followed the guard to the back.

“Ah, there you are, cucciola!” Her raspy voice exclaimed, as she headed towards me and grabbed my waist, leading me towards a changing room before I could even mutter a word.

“You, I me- mean ...Why? Like… I just thi-I” Damn it, where was my wittiness when I needed it? If I wasn’t already blushing, I probably looked like a sweaty tomato right now.

“Oh darling, I suggest you figure out how to talk, so I’ll know how to please you later.” She murmured in my ear, my knees almost giving up at her words.

“Oh god, umm, I- hi.” I managed to let out. I’m so glad I could ramble about crystals for 3 hours but when It comes to basic greetings my mind just dips. Lovely.

“We have about 15 minutes before we need to leave.” She said, grabbing my body and pulling me right against her, softly nibbling on my neck.

“Considering the way you fucked the stage earlier, I think even 5 would suffice.” Ah yes, my brain was back. Temporarily, though, because Victoria’s hungry lips smashed into mine in a fraction of a second, quickly turning me around so I would be prompted against the wall.

We moved in sync as she sucked every breath out of me and explored my mouth with her tongue. She bit my lip hard, and licked the reddish spot which appeared, before moving onto my neck.

She sucked on every inch of my skin, leaving deep red marks in her wake, which would definitely be an interesting subject of discussion once I got home. I couldn’t help but let out the most pathetic whines, which only seemed to turn Victoria on more.

“So fucking desperate puppy. All I do is dance a little on stage and you’re already willing to be on your knees for me.” She purred right against my breast, earning a deep moan from my treacherous mouth,

“What can I say, I like being a good girl.”

Her mouth bit into the soft skin which was now exposed, as my poor shirt was laying on the floor, discarded seconds ago. I whimpered and bucked my hips into the air, whining even more at the realisation that there was nothing there.

“Please..” I begged, as she kept kissing and licking around my hardened buds, heating me up even more.

“Take your pants off, then” She instructed, and I did it in a heartbeat, the piece of clothing joining my shirt.

The last thing I saw was the blonde’s head lower , before her tongue finally gave me what I wanted. She swiped it deeply inside of me, humming at the liquids pouring from me. Moving to my clit, she started circling around it as one of her long fingers thrusted deep inside of me.

“Fuck… Victoria…” 

She added another finger and quickened her pace, as I rapidly approached my edge. God, no one did it as well as her. She was getting rougher by the second, biting at my thighs and sucking hardly, until she heard my breath catch, before I erupted in a mess of loud moans and screams.

I came hard on her hand as she guided me down to the ground, licking the tears falling from my eyes.

“You really do like being a good girl.” She whispered, cupping my cheek and pressing a soft kiss on my puffy lips.

“Oh I can be bad too.” I smirked, watching as her eyes darkened.”

“How about you return to the hotel with me, and we can explore that talent too…”

***

More than half an hour had passed, and I was sitting in an Uber right next to Victoria. While the band packed up their stuff, I hung out on the stage, eating a popsicle Damiano had given me.

“Do you have to be anywhere early tomorrow?” Victoria’s voice interrupted my thoughts, softly grazing her fingers over my thighs.

“Like I wouldn’t cancel them for you.” I responded, earning a soft chuckle from her.

“Excellent. How about we talk a little then, hmm?” She asked, pulling me closer to her.

“About what?” I asked, clearly thinking of innocent topics.

“Which was your favourite part about how I fucked you backstage.”

Oh. My. God. At this point, my brain had stopped working so many times, I probably had approximately 2 brain cells left. And damn, I answered in a corresponding fashion.

“I must say I enjoyed the talking.” 

Victoria laughed, a devilish grin forming on her face, as I bet her mind filled with the dirtiest ideas.

“I’ll take your word for it. I’ll make sure we’ll do just enough talking.”

“Wait no- You know, I really liked the cum part too.” I tried to save myself, because let’s be honest, If this woman was anything, it was a tease.

“Considering how loud you were moaning, I bet you were.” She purred again, dragging her fingers further up my thighs.

“Tell me, what did you fantasise about most while watching me play?”

My mind went blank, but not really, as the thought of her grinding on my face while practicing the bass made its way into my head. God, I was royally fucked.

“Tell me, pet.” She snarled against my neck, grabbing it roughly and bending me over.

Her hand wandered down to my ass, grabbing it roughly before slithering back around to my stomach, and pulling me up again.

“Practicing your bass on my face.” I moaned out, red and embarrassed.

“A lovely imagination you have. I’ll make sure to consult it more often.” 

“That won’t work. It seems to go blank around you.” 

Victoria smirked at my confession and pressed me down onto her lap, slowly working her way under my shirt. 

“I really like this. Where did you get it?”

“My mom.”

“She wears this?”

Fuck. “Oh, you meant the shirt?”

Scoffing and rolling her eyes, she pulled the material up, and pressed a wet kiss to both of my breasts. Oh god, this girl would kill me.

“My special thanks to her. And also my apologies, because I’ll fuck you till you scream and cry tonight.”