#dammit now i want a cream tea

[jac-is-procrastinating-again]

Fanfic review; The Realm of You by Hope_in_the_dark

AO3 Fic Binge 2023 - Good Omens - Review 10

CONTENT: AU-human, coffee-shop, bakery, soft and fluffy, scones, has recipes linked, now i want a cake, asexual Aziraphale, asexual / bisexual Crowley, did I mention the scones

RATING: Teen and up

LENGTH: Medium, 8 chapters, 35k words

RECOMMENDED BECAUSE: Scones. Plus the relationship is adorable, Anathema is a wind-up merchant and Az's birthday do is utterly adorable. Baked goods as a weapon of courtship should not be underestimated.

PLOT; Az moves to Alton to open a bookshop, leaving his career as a Professor and the breakup of a longterm relationship behind him in London. However, on his first day in the shop, a knock on the door heralds Crowley who says "scones" and thrusts a wicker basket at him, and Anathema who explains they are his neighbours from the bakery and there is also jam and cream in the basket. Az and Cr monosyllable at each other and blush. Anathema teases them. The pair are adorably awkward. There are many gorgeous-sounding baked goods, many with recipes in the notes. Az and Cr do some mutual pining before discovering that actually they are very compatible. There is much stuttering and blushing, and the pair are even more adorable, and just are so nice to each other. For a story with virtually no conflict, this fic has no right to be as enthralling as it is, but the gradual blossoming of the relationship is just lovely, as is Az's relationship with Warlock, his shop assistant. The birthday Ball is so lovely, and the whole thing just so supportive and loving that it's actually a joy to read.

BOOKMARK: Definitely. It's a bit different, and feel-good to the max.

READ IF YOU: just want a really simple, lovely tale of things going okay and people learning to love and trust each other. Probably wait till you're not hungry though, or just get yourself sorted with a cream tea before you start, cos you're gonna want it by the end, guaranteed.

RANDOM FOOD METAPHOR FOR NO GOOD REASON: Cream tea, for the very excellent reason that a) a decent one is epic, though I would quibble with strawberry jam and substitute a good tart raspberry jam, and b)bloody scones are all over the fic and I have no scones in the house and now i want one. Don't even bother to resist it, it's not gonna work. Mmmmmmm, scooonnnnnneeeessssss.... https://archiveofourown.org/works/23697235/chapters/56896201

[a-b-riddle]

A Simple (Mis) Understanding Chapter Two: Numbness & Pain

Daisy

I always used to think it was an exaggeration of how pregnancy is a constant state of exhaustion. But it was a lot of work growing a tiny human. Add in the fact that I'm still working 40 + hours a week and, of course, something is always causing some sort of discomfort or pain.

Swollen feet, back pain, nausea; I can't even find any solace in sleep. The 32 week mark felt so close, yet still so far. Another eight or so weeks of this seems like a drop in the bucket compared to how far along I am, but still. That still another two months. So far away when you want to be done, but still too short compared to everything I still have yet to do.

Another two months to set up a crib and wash her new clothes. Another two months to figure out a name and make decisions that I always envisioned making with a partner. Another two months of struggling to do things like picking up shit off the floor or staying on my feet long enough to make a decent meal.

But right now, I wasn't worried about the two months ahead of me and all the things I still have to do. Right now, I was looking forward to a three day undisturbed weekend. The pain in my feet and sciatica was becoming so bad, I had taken Friday off to see a doctor and spend the rest of the weekend doing nothing, but sitting in my modest little house and watching mind rotting television. I might even indulge in some spicy reading. Heaven knows its been too long.

Or at least, it hasn't been since them. That day in the office, but... that really didn't count. I often wrestled with myself about it. That one time erased any feelings I had for any of them. But I felt a bit pathetic how it now tainted every good memory I had with them. Kyle bringing me something to snack on when he realized I hadn't gone to the mess hall. Price always having a cup of earl grey tea cooling for me first thing in the morning. Two packs of zero calorie sweetner and a bit of honey.

Sweet like you.

I couldn't stand the smell of it now. I blamed it on the hormones. A lot of things made me queasy, but something about the smell of the bergamot, made me sick in a completely different way. A feeling not of nausea, but of... fear. Like the same way a pentagram could summon demons, earl grey could summon mine. As if John Price was somehow there any time the scent lingered in the air.

But he wasn't. None of them were. Fuck. Why did my thoughts always go back to them at some point? No. This was going to be a relaxing weekend god dammit. Fuck them.

Almost angrily, I hit the garage key fob, shutting the door and engulfing me into darkness; a thin line of light leaking through the bottom of the garage door. When I had opened my door, I could at least see a path to my mudroom. I grabbed my purse, ready to go in, when I felt it.

Hundreds of needles. Stabbing and digging into my feet. Not just the soles, but the entire fucking foot the moment I bared any weight on them. I pulled off my flats and it was then I noticed how angry they looked. Red and swollen and all but screaming at me to sit my fat ass back down. I wiggled my toes, trying to get some blood flow. Fuck. Why didn't they hurt while I was driving?

I manage to get onto my feet, using the car door as support. Steading myself until I was ready to take the first step. By the time I had managed to all but crawl inside, ten minutes had passed since my initial arrival time. I got off at 5:00, but usually didn't log off until almost 6:00. Granted, I work from home, but I had run out of a few essentials. Essentials now that were in the boot of my car.

Fuck.

10 minutes won't hurt. Not like there is any thing frozen. Speaking of which, I forgot my ice cream... dammit. I really need to start keeping a list on the fridge. It's hard to remember when pregnancy brain (or stomach) takes over and I slam a container in a single sitting.

Grabbing a pillow from the couch, I went to the kitchen. Which considering the town house, or terraced housing I suppose now, was perfect for a single and expecting Omega it was cozy. Not like the base where going from the common area to the chow hall was about a three minute stroll.

I get down and lay on my back. Carefully maneuvering so my ass rests against the cabinets before I hook the back of my heels unto the counter top so I could rest my feet a bit. Not the most sanitary, but it wasn't like I had guests. It was just me. For now.

It took a few moments to adjust. My back ached against the hardwood, but I could already feel the relief from my feet and legs. It wasn't all that shocking that I was having a hard time with them. I had gained a considerable amount of weight during my pregnancy. When I had brought it up to the OBGYN about possibly cutting back on food, her suggestion was to simply not weigh myself at home. Now when I went in for a visit they made me turn around before taking my weight.

It was hard. I've always had a problem with how I looked and now adding pregnancy then taking away the option to diet and exercise didn't exactly help.

I pulled out my phone and was preparing to open my kindle app when I saw a tiny red bar in the top right corner of my phone. Of course. I get nice and settled and my phone is on 2 fucking percent. Whatever. I tell Alexa to set an a timer for fifteen minutes and take a little nap. Maybe meditate.

A knock on the door quickly brings any possibility of relaxation to a pause. Margaret next door was dropping off Winnie off early to go to her book club. Margaret was a widow and a recent empty nester. She had spent her life as a mother and a homemaker. When I got custody of Winnie two months ago, she had quickly stepped up in helping me with everything from child rearing to managing my pregnancy.

"Hello, Maggie!" I greeted from the floor. "Hello, Winnie Darling." Winnie had the same sand colored hair as me and bright green eyes. Her face was a shade of red and I could smell her from the entryway. Someone would need a bath today. Fantastic.

"Oh, Dear!" Maggie fussed, setting Winnie down on her feet before coming over to me. "Are you alright?" Winnie didn't bother stopping to hug me like she normally would before making a beeline toward the potty. She usually was a creature of habit, but nature calls I suppose.

"Feet are a bit swollen." I waved off. "Just resting them a bit."

"I don't have to go tonight." She set her bag down. A deep green corduroy shoulder bag that always had just what you needed in it. A wet wipe, hand sanitizer, a spare tissue and even a stain pen when a spill happened at the most inconvenient time. "I'll stay and-"

"Maggie." I said, trying my best to sound at firm, but it was hard with her. No one told Maggie 'no'. "It's alright. Just a bit of water retention. Nothing to fret over." And it wasn't. I could already feel the pain from earlier subside.

"Really, it's no bother." She argued, bending over to unstrap one of her shoes. "It's a bloody stupid book anyway. I just go for the gossip really."

"Maggie." I tried again. "Really."  "It's getting close to the due date and I don't want to burn out on me just yet." It was a lie. Even with her greying hair, a deepened laugh line, Maggie didn't burn out. She was one of the few Omegas I had met in my life and she could run circles around any of them, myself included.

The sound of flushing sounded from the bathroom followed by the faucet. She huffed before slipping her shoe back on. "If you insist."

"I do." I encouraged. As much as I loved having Maggie's help, I hated feeling like a burden. She had raised her children. It was time for her to do things for herself. "Besides, we'll see you tomorrow after my appointment tomorrow." The bathroom door clicked open, revealing my little Win with the front of her smock covered in water. Fantastic.

"Hi, Mommy." Winnie finally greeted. Her freshly washed hands dripping water droplets onto the hardwood. "What are you doing?"

"My feet hurt so I'm just letting them rest." I explained, looking up at her. Winnie was rambunctious as most four-year-olds without a sense of self preservation are, but when I explained to her how careful she had to be now that I had her sister in my belly, her nature had become more gentle.

It worried me as much as it warmed my heart. 

"Why don't you sit on the couch?" She asked. Her head tilting to the side, face etched as if she were trying to figure out my reasoning.

"Because it helps when you lift your feet up high in the sky, Winnie Pooh." Maggie explained before looking back at me. "Well if you're sure-"

"I am. Go." I urged. "We'll see you tomorrow. Lunch around noon?" Spending time with Maggie didn't make me feel like such a parasite when I knew she enjoyed the company. Her children had all moved away, only one staying in the UK. She wasn't so alone, but neither was I.

"Wouldn't miss it." She gave a soft smile. The laugh lines around her face deepening. "See you tomorrow, Dearies." She said, retreating back outside. The soft sound of the door clicking behind her.

Winnie had laid down beside me. Yep. Definitely going to need a bath tonight. "How was school today?" Winnie went to a pre-school that was luckily covered under my insurance. Perks of being an Omega. I'll take it where and when I can.

She talked about going to the playground and painting. All the usual bits. Who she played with and new things she learned. Then came the question. A question she had asked before in passing. A subject I changed with ease before. 'Have you brushed your teeth? How about another episode of Bluey? Put on your trainers (because we can't just say tennis shoes anymore) and we'll go for a walk to the park. I had skirted around the question with ease. 

"Why don't you have a mate if you have a baby?" Winnie was too young to get the answers to a lot of life's difficult questions. Why did Tiffany not like us? Why didn't she get to see her daddy anymore? Why did that man look at you weird on the train, mommy?  I wish she would just stay this little. That she never needed or want to know the harsh truths about me, us.

"I..." I wracked my brain for an answer and just came up short. I couldn't think of a way to sugarcoat it. We almost had a mate. Mates. We almost had a pack that would have walked you to school on the mornings my feet were too sore or I was already running late. They would have loved you. "It... it's complicated, Darling." Is what I chose instead. The other worrisome fact is that Winnie was too young to understand the concept about mates. I had never broached the subject which only means she probably heard it from some little shithead at school. 

Wonderful.

"I'll explain it when you're older." I promise, closing my eyes and letting her snuggle into the crook of my arm. "Do you wanna rest your eyes with me?"

"Like when I'm five?" She asks putting one of her hands underneath my shirt onto my belly. It had become a thing she had started since I told her about the baby.

"Maybe six." I said, looking down at her. She gave a yawn before closing her eyes.

"I think five is better."

"Okay, Win." I said. "When you're five we'll talk about it." It was a promise I hoped she would forget. But I didn't want to negotiate with a four-year-old about something future me could deal with. I wanted just 15 minutes of this. I order Alexa to set a timer to make sure we haven't dozed too far off. Winnie still needed to shower and eat. I still needed to get the groceries out of the car. But I could spare another 15 minutes.

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 7!!!

Beginning|| Previous || Next

It will not surprise you at all, dear Reader, to learn that Aziraphale keeps very little in his kitchen cupboards. There is no stove or oven, and the only thing in the fridge is milk (for his tea no doubt). When you start opening cupboards, you find one pack of custard creams, and a second one of chocolate digestives. Well, it will have to do. You find yourself a small plate and fill it half and half before heading back into the shop just in time to say goodbye to Anathema and Newt.

As they leave, you turn to the supernatural entities in the room.

“So,” You say, “If we’re going to the States, then we have a few problems. First, I don’t have my passport or any ID at all, so airport security is going to be fun. Second, I have no money. Third, I’m gonna need a Walmart or something because I don’t even have a toothbrush, my dudes. Fourth, these,” You indicate the cookies, “are fine for a snack, but overall they’re not gonna cut it.”

“You just leave the airport security to us,” Aziraphale replies. You make a note that he glided right past ‘my dudes,’ they’re getting used to you already. Dammit. “As for the rest of it,” Aziraphale continues, “I suppose a trip to Tesco’s is in order.”

Crowley produces a shiny black credit card from nowhere and hands it to you. “We’ll take the Bentley,” he says. He starts to stand, but you shake your head.

“Nuh-uh, you both stay here,” You say. Crowley raises his eyebrow.

“You realize we can take care of ourselves,” he says, “We’ve been doing it for a few millennia.”

“I’m not talking about that,” You say, “Look, what we’re going into is really dangerous. And I know that your pattern is to just wait to talk about things until you’re in the clear, but that’s not a good idea anymore. I mean, I get that I’m not exactly an expert, but I read just as much as you do and I’ve heard a million stories by this point in my life, and in NONE of them do people ever say ‘I’m so glad I never told them how I feel’ - you know? It’s always ‘I wish I would have’ or ‘I should have told them every day.’ So Muriel and I will go ask Maggie to take us to Tesco, and you two need to talk. Please. While it’s safe, while you have the chance, before things get dangerous and possibly deadly.”

Crowley and Aziraphale are silent. You notice that they aren’t looking at each other. Well, you’ve done your best. Now you need to trust them.

At this point, dear Reader, you are probably thinking to yourself ‘well I would snoop and spy on them while they talk! I want to watch them make out!’ But here is the thing – in this world they are real people, not characters. It’s one thing to say that you would creep on them from the other side of this fiction, but when they’re very real and looking at you in person, things are a little different. For one thing, you realize that real people deserve things like boundaries and privacy, especially for sensitive conversations.

And so, you take Muriel over to Maggie’s shop, where you explain that Mr. Fell has sent the two of you on an errand and you need to stop for dinner somewhere and have no idea where anything is. You flash her the credit card and say ‘It’s all on me,’ and she conveniently agrees with a look on her face that says something like ‘least they could do after all that shit they put us through.’

So the three of you go for dinner at the nearest Weatherspoons, where you and Maggie eat while Muriel watches in morbid fascination. Then you all take the bus to Tesco where you buy yourself a small wardrobe, and manage to coax Muriel into some light blue jeans and an argyle jumper so they look a little less like the Beacon of Gondor. You quickly find out that Muriel has an adorable fascination with fuzzy socks, novelty mugs, and coloured pencils. Of course, you enable their fascinations with a happy heart, and as an afterthought, you grab them a small pot of orange daisies from the flower section. It will give them something alive to tend to while you’re gone. Muriel appreciates the thought. All in all, it’s a long but good time.

You don’t know about the talk, and you’re worried about asking when you get back.

THAT BEING SAID

You and I, dear Reader, not actually being in that world, are allowed certain privileges.

The bookshop is silent for a long time. Both of them are thinking, digesting, processing. Feelings are hard to feel, and harder to put into words. Especially when it has been made clear, twice now in the span of a number of hours, that you absolutely need to put them into words.

It isn’t until after Crowley notices you, Muriel, and Maggie heading down the street that he stands up and begins to pace. A few more minutes pass before he speaks.

“So...uhm...are you going to go first or should I?”

“Are we...are we actually going to do this? Have this talk I mean?” Aziraphale has been shelving books to try and take the edge off. Now he puts down the book in his hands and absent-mindedly fidgets with his ring.

“Well, I mean we don’t have to,” Crowley says, aiming for non-chalance and missing ever-so-slightly, “No one can actually make us.”

“Yes, except it feels very much like everyone is trying to.”

“Trying is the key word there.”

“That’s true enough I suppose.”

The silence returns and stretches. It is anything but comfortable. The air is full of words that they have been told they should say, words that perhaps they want to say, but words that have been dammed up with fear and uncertainty for so long now that they’ve become very hard to un-stick. After a while, Aziraphale clears his throat and speaks.

“I, erm, I suppose you had better go first.”

“Me, right, okay.” Crowley clears his throat now and stops his pacing near the desk. He looks down at the scattered papers and books, the pens and photos and newspaper clippings. The assorted clutter of Aziraphale’s life. Looking away makes it easier to start. He takes a breath. “Um..right...well...we’ve known each other a long time. We’ve been on this planet a long time – you and me, I mean. I’ve always been able to rely on you, and you’ve always relied on me,” another breath, “We’re a team, yeah? A group of the two of us. And...erm...we pretend that we aren’t. Always have. Safer that way I guess.” He looks up at Aziraphale. The angel isn’t looking at him, but he nods anyway to show that he’s listening. Crowley continues. “And I mean...I’ve tried not to think about it much before but...but it would be nice, I mean, UGH” He takes off his sunglasses and rubs a hand over his eyes as though he can massage the words and make them easier to say. “I mean, I would like to spend...mmm….I would like to spend the rest not pretending anymore. Be an us. I mean,” suddenly the dam breaks, and Crowley finds the words come tumbling out, “If Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it, we can. We don’t need Heaven or Hell, they’re both toxic. We can be an us, on our side. You and me. What do you say?” He looks at Aziraphale without reservation now. His angel looks back at him, eyes wide. When he does speak, it’s with a smile and a small nod of acknowledgment rather than agreement.

“That was very well done Crowley,” he says. This isn’t an answer.

“Nnyeah, thanks. Your turn though.”

“Right, I suppose it is.” Aziraphale takes a moment to gather himself. After hearing Crowley be so open about this, he feels more resolved himself to do this properly. He faces Crowley and folds his hands to keep himself grounded. “Crowley,” he begins, “I...I wish that this conversation were happening under better circumstances. Although it’s been pointed out that ideal circumstances aren’t a promise that we can wait around for. Well, the thing is that I would like the same thing. Very much in fact. My biggest concern by far is for your safety because, well, frankly I don’t see the point in saving the world again if you’re not around to enjoy it with me. An us, as you said. You and me.” He smiles. Crowley smiles.

“Guess we’d better save the world together then. And try not to die.”

“Yes, quite.”

“Aziraphale?”

“Yes, Crowley?”

“You’re my angel. No one else.”

“And you, my wiley serpent. No one else.”

The shop bell dings.

“We’re baaaaaack!” You sing as you waltz through the door, shopping bags in hand. Muriel follows after you, carefully carrying their daisies. “Did you miss us?”

When you eventually get the courage to ask them about their talk later, you get a “ngk” from Crowley, and a “We’ve said all that needs to be said, for now.” from Aziraphale. And that, you suppose, will have to do.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

Beginning|| Previous || Next

[quoththeowl31]

Partner

(Post-Manor AU)

Mr. Campbell was asleep next to the stoop of her apartment.

Alice never really thought she'd see him again after the manor, let alone at her apartment building. The last time she saw him, he was recovering from injuries at a hospital near the manor; Mrs. Plinius...Melly had offered him a place to stay while he recovered as well as a job that would've been even more stable than a Prospector job. He was moving up in the world like he said he wanted so...why was he here?

"Mr. Campbell?" Alice tapped his shoulder, startling the taller man awake, a snort escaping his lips. It took a minute for him to catch his bearings before looking up at the presence stand above him.

"Alice" He immediately stood up. "Uh I mean...Miss DeRoss, hi!"

"Uh...Hello...Would you...like to come in for tea?" Alice asked.

"Sure...uh..sure, yes." Norton cleared his throat. Alice nodded and led him to her apartment, trying to also ignore some of the strange looks from passers by.

-------------------------------

Boxes.

The first thing about her apartment Norton noticed were the boxes and empty shelves. Alice was busy prepping some of the tea she left out; the air between them was thick, awkward, though it was clear Norton was more anxious than she was.

"You're recovering well." She poured two cups and set them on her table, setting out the sugar and some cream as well. Norton rubbed his bandaged arm; truly he was. Aside from retaining a limp that was slowly going away, most of his bruises and his nose were healing up well.

"Thanks," He placed two sugar cubes into his tea. "I see you're moving..." There was a melancholy in his voice when he said that.

"Yeah...After everything that happened with...with Orpheus and what we discovered...I thought it'd be best to start over somewhere else and where I won't be found as easily." Alice felt a lump form in her throat. It didn't feel safe in England anymore if she were to be honest; as much as she was loath to leave, she couldn't stay either. She felt like eyes were on her all the time now.

"Where are you moving to?" Norton's demeanor was a little more relaxed.

"America...A friend of mine suggested a big country like America. It'd be easy to get lost in a crowd in a big country." Alice could've sword she saw a flash of desperation in Norton's eyes.

"So...you're just leaving..." She nodded. They sipped their tea in silence for a few minutes, simply listening to the clock before its chimes went off after a few minutes.

"So Mr. Campbell, what brought you here?"

"I...I uh wanted to thank you...y'know...for saving me back there when things went...well...the way they went. I wouldn't really be here right now if it weren't for you. Thank you."

"I'm glad you're okay Mr. Campbell. I hear Mrs. Plinius offered you a wonderful job." Norton's fingers were tapping.

"She did...It's nice but..."

Norton's brow furrowed as he tried coming up with what he wanted to say.

"Letmegowithyou!" Alice choked on her tea and Norton put his hand over his mouth, a deep red spreading across his face.

"Cough! I'm sorry? Cough!"

"Dammit that came out wrong!" Norton looked away from Alice cursing at himself, his cheek completely red. "What I mean is...uh...shit...I mean...I kinda owe you right?

"Owe me?" Norton nodded.

"You...I was a prick to you for most of the time at the Manor and you still dragged my ass out of the dirt when I was down...I kinda...feel like I owe you."

"Mr. Campbell..." Norton held up his hand.

"Norton...Just call me Norton." Alice sighed.

"Norton. You don't owe me anything, I just couldn't leave you like that." Norton pulled at his scarf to try and cool down.

"Thing is...most would've probably left me there...I'm not exactly...y'know...worth saving to most." Alice couldn't quite come up with the words she needed as she listened. Mr. Campbe...Norton's demeanor was open. He was making himself vulnerable to her and it was catching her off guard.

When they first met, he was closed off with only money being a motivator to at least put a small chip in the wall he built. Now here he was, fidgeting, stuttering, opening himself to her.

"It's just...uh...what would you do?" Alice asked.

"I mean...I doubt you're going to give up the journalism thing, right?" Oh, he could read her too couldn't he? Now it was her turn to blush a bit.

"Well...maybe it's not a good idea to...y'know...go it alone?" Alice looked away, the blush growing stronger. She had been warned by her friend that going it alone was a bad idea but she couldn't bring herself to trust anyone else. Besides, she could take care of herself....mostly.

"I'm...not sure..." Alice said.

"I...*sigh* I thought the same way....I've been alone for most of my life since...since Pa died. I couldn't trust people because they'd stab me in the back and then you come along and even without asking for something in return, helped me. Even after I was a complete ass to you. It got me thinking that maybe...maybe things aren't like what I'm used to. You're kinda closed off too, right? Maybe...maybe I can watch your back so you don't feel...y'know...alone? Especially now since you're gonna be in a new country and all."

Alice had to admit, he did have a point. She hated to admit it too but she felt she'd always be alone in this world and the manor and Orpheus had nearly convinced her it was true. Now here was Mr. Cam...Norton expressing his loneliness to her. Could she really say no when she herself desired the same thing?

"...You could help me in my journalism," Alice saw his eyes light up. "You have a better understanding than I have of what life is like in the working class and you've got quite the silver tongue. But what about your job with Mrs. Plinius?" Norton looked her in the eye.

"It's not what I'm looking for."

"Journalism doesn't always pay well."

"It's better than being trapped underground for 12 hours."

"It's a lot of travel. I probably won't have a stable home for awhile."

"I've always wanted to see the world outside of the mines."

She couldn't help it, a smirk bloomed on Alice's face. This feels right; this will work.

"Alright, lets get packing, Partner." Alice held out her hand for Norton. They'd work out the details later as they traveled. Norton took her hand and they shook on it.

"Sure thing, Partner."

[nobedofroses]

October 21st

pairing: Marcus Moreno x fem!reader

warnings: fluff, allusions to spice

words: 1.5k

a/n: Prompt for today is "painting a pumpkin date night" from this list by @novelbear. Ooo Marcus and reader are really getting somewhere!

Directory, previous Marcus blurb, Day 20

🎃🎃🎃

About a week after going to the apple orchard, you were over with Marcus and Missy again, this time to paint pumpkins. You had been accosted as you got out of the car after grocery shopping one day and Marcus took over taking in your groceries while Missy went over the finer details of the plan with you. Since you weren’t busy and did want to spend more time with the two of them, it was an easy yes. Especially when Marcus came out of your house, biceps extra prominent after carrying in your reusable bags, and asked if you were going to join or not. 

They had asked you to come over early for pizza and you had brought a salad and garlic bread for sides, which were both greatly appreciated. Then the three of you got started, Marcus bringing out three stained aprons for you to put on so you wouldn’t dirty your clothes. 

“These are our craft aprons, we have other ones for cooking,” Missy informed you seriously. Then she brightened again, “Can you tie mine?”

“Of course,” you told her, slipping yours over your head so your hands were free and tying it in a neat bow. 

You were reaching behind you to tie your own apron strings when your hands bumped into Marcus’ hands that were already holding them. He leaned forward to murmur in your ear, “Got yours, sweetheart.” 

Dammit if his low voice and the brush of his breath against your neck didn’t give the shivers. But then he was moving away and saying, “Alright, kid, you’ve gotta tie mine now.”

Missy made a big show of tying his, doing it too tight at first and looking over at you with a grin and mischievous giggles. 

As you painted, Missy explained that while they had made their jack o’lanterns a while ago, one of her friends had shown her pictures of a purple glitter pumpkin, which had given Missy the idea for a pink and blue cotton candy glitter pumpkin, and so she had begged Marcus to get more to paint until he gave in. Then she stage-whispered to you, “He gives in super easy.” 

Marcus scoffed and threw a pom pom at her, which only served to make her smile bigger and laugh harder. He rolled his eyes but the two of you shared a fond look over the tops of your own pumpkins. 

You ended up staying late, helping them clean up, then watch an episode of Missy’s favorite show while you had ice cream for dessert. You would’ve left then and given them family time, but Missy wanted to show you her room. Which turned into you promising to come back soon so you could race her pink RC cars. Then you really would’ve left so she could get ready for bed and Marcus could have time to himself, but while Missy was busy brushing her teeth, he told you that he’d really love it if you were able to stay. So you said goodnight to Missy and went back to the living room to wait. 

And then you felt too awkward in there alone and went to the kitchen to make sure there was nothing else you could clean up for them. There wasn’t, so you just looked at your pumpkins that were drying on some newspaper on the kitchen table. Missy’s glitter cotton candy one was super cute, you had opted for one with many eyes painted on, and Marcus had done a pretty detailed rendition of Frankenstein’s monster. 

Before long, Marcus joined you in the kitchen, turning off some of the lights as he walked in, making the light more cozy. 

“Want anything to drink? I was thinking something warm, it’s getting a little chilly tonight,” Marcus asked, reaching for two ceramic mugs from his cupboard. 

“That sounds nice, what do you have?” 

“About six kinds of herbal tea, hot chocolate, hot buttered rum (which I can also make virgin), and apple cider I can heat up,” Marcus offered. 

You laughed, “How can I choose from a list like that? Whatever you want, it all sounds great, honestly.” 

Marcus chose but made sure you were really okay with it and then started making your drinks, telling you to wait in the living room and how to turn on the electric fireplace if you wanted. 

A little fire sounded perfect, so you headed in there and followed his directions, only putting it on low because you wanted it more for the coziness than the warmth. 

Marcus joined you a couple minutes later, commenting on your seat on the floor by the fireplace instead of on the couch, “Not making it easy for my old man joints, I see.” 

You laughed, “Oh please, you’re only a couple years older than me and I’d say in very good shape.” 

It was hard to tell if there was a bit of a blush on Marcus’ cheeks or if it was the firelight, but he did quietly thank you for the compliment. 

He had grabbed a tray so you had somewhere to put your drinks and you set yours there after taking a sip and declaring it perfect. 

Conversation lapsed for a moment as you didn’t know exactly what Marcus had wanted you to stay for. You had gotten to know him a lot better last week on the drive back, but by now you were used to Missy filling in the gaps when you were together. Who was he and what did he want with you besides a father indulging his daughter’s friendliness towards a new neighbor? 

You figured the best way to find out was to ask, even if it was awkward. But after yelling at him over Halloween decorations, you figured this couldn’t be more embarrassing. 

“So… you wanted me to stay?” you prompted, perhaps it wasn’t as easy to be forthright as you thought. 

“Yeah, I did,” Marcus said. And he was looking at you head on, but he still seemed distracted. 

“Okay. Why?” 

Marcus’ gaze drifted down to your lips and then back up to meet yours. You felt your body get warmer, not from the fireplace. 

“I wanted to ask you on a date,” Marcus said plainly. Your eyebrows went up in surprise. He continued, “I haven’t mentioned it to Missy and didn’t want to ask you in front of her because one, her friendship with you should be separate from anything with us, and two, if she was there, she’d invite herself along. And as much as I love spending time with her and you, I’d love to spend more time with just you.” 

His explanation was so thoughtful for you and Missy both that your heart ached a little in your chest that there was such a sweet man and dad right in front of you. You smiled softly, “Marcus, I’d really, really like that.” 

Marcus’ relieved smile was the most endearing thing you had ever seen and he was so handsome when he smiled too that you couldn’t help yourself and leaned in to kiss him. He was caught off guard, but quickly kissed you back, his arms wrapping around you to hold you close to him. His lips were soft and plush against yours and when you teased your tongue at the center of them, he parted them willingly. However, you suddenly realized that you were on his living room floor and his daughter had only gone to bed twenty minutes ago. 

You pulled back, “Sorry, I guess we shouldn’t be doing this right here, right now.” 

Marcus shook his head, his eyes already dilated and looking at you with an eagerness that made your blood run hot, “No, it’s okay. The hallway has the creakiest floor in the world, we’d hear her.”  

You thought back to when you were walking to see Missy’s RC car collection and had winced at a particularly loud creak right outside of her bedroom door. Seemed like good enough insurance for right now, at least. You threw caution to the wind and kissed Marcus again. 

It gave you such a delicious, heady feeling. The drag of your tongue against his, his big hand cradling your jaw, how it felt to nip at his full lower lip and hear his moan. Not to mention something stiffening between you. 

This time when you broke apart, you were both breathless and panting, and it was because your grinding was threatening to turn into something a whole lot riskier. You climbed off of his lap, sorry to leave him and yourself high and dry, but at least it was a short walk home to your bedroom and toys. 

Trying to keep from getting pulled back into you by his desire, Marcus changed the subject. Not that you had been talking. “So, what do you want to do for our date?” “I don’t know, but I think you should get a sitter that can stay late. You know, just in case,” you said with a sheepish look. You lifted your mug to take a sip and hide your face. But it wasn’t what you were expecting, “So much for warm drinks, these are fucking ice cold.” Marcus just smiled and laughed, reaching out and entwining your free hand with his, “Don’t think I’ll have to worry about feeling cold now, sweetheart.”

🎃🎃🎃

[cottagecore-raccoon]

For the Cozy Ask Game: 3, 4, 5, 13 :D

It let you ask off of anon today! That's so exciting!

3. Favorite comfy clothing you own?

I have a ton of sweaters (which I'm sure surprises no one), all of which I adore! That said, I especially fond of a oatmeal and cream striped sweater that's super thick

4. What's your go to rainy day activity?

If left to my own devices, all I want to do on a rainy day is sleep and drink tea. I'm always so sleepy when it rains and everywhere is so cozy-

5. Do you have any stuffed animals on your bed? Can you tell us about them?

I have a few that rotate, although I sleep with my dog so they often don't stay all night (because Piper needs cuddles, dammit). There are two penguin pillow pets, a weird bunny squishmallow (that isn't the usual shape? I dunno), and sometimes my stuffed raven named Nigel. Nigel is my main guy who travels with me on vacation

13. Do you have an album that you listen to when you need to calm down?

My main is Ella and Louis by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. It's just such a warm, cohesive album that I bought it on vinyl! I also love The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole. I had it on CD growing up, and whenever I was having a hard time I'd listen to it in my room. I think it's probably part of the reason why Christmas is one my special interests now, truth be told

Cozy Ask Game

[ronearoundblindly]

Just a little thought for your sweet Sunday prompt, don’t worry if it’s not the sort of thing you want. Kind, soft old fashioned gentleman Steve looking after the reader when she’s having a particularly bad time of the month. I love that man so much and I adore how you write him.😍

Fair warning: this gets sweet but sooooooooo deep after the feels. I went overboard on the semi-angst because periods and (my) life sucks. Steve's just so magical, that bastard....

Hour seven of cramping and you contemplate just giving up and heading to bed. You look over to the clock.

20:23

No way. Too early. You can wait one hour more until another dose of painkiller.

Except now you're out of snacks and either have to watch only half a movie or search for a TV show.

There's a knock at the door, and why someone checking on you makes you want to cry is beyond you. You just do want to cry. You don't want to explain WWIII in your uterus; you want ice cream, dammit.

"I bought three kinds," Steve announces, using his foot to close up behind him, arms covered in grocery bags like a pack mule. "Four if you count the sandwiches."

When he finally looks up, he stalls seeing you curled into the couch, covered in thick blankets, a pillow squished harshly to your chest, and tears brimming in your eyes.

His eyes soften. "Hun," he whines, dropping his arms, "you could have texted me."

You shake your head before tucking it into the pillow. "Not gonna bother you," you mumble through fabric.

"That bad, huh?"

Steve doesn't need an answer though. He's speedy in the kitchen while you scroll absently through Netflix. You still have no clue what to watch.

He returns to your side with a bowl: one scoop of every flavor capped with an entire ice cream sandwich...minus one bite.

"Sorry," he winks, "boyfriend tax."

Steve's cute when he's cheeky, and he knows it.

"That's a big bite, mister."

He shrugs, simply adding, "inflation."

Another sharp pang hits you above the hip, one so brutal and deep you hiss. He asks about medicine, if you'd like hot tea or chocolate, and what else he can do. There's nothing. Just another pang before the other even recedes.

Concern falls off his face suddenly, and Steve holds up a finger before hurtling over the back of the couch.

He comes back but sits on the floor with his hand out. "Foot, please," he adds, brandishing a pair of your fuzziest socks.

"One sec," you groan and clutch the bowl tighter. You can't lift your leg until the cramp stops. You watch Steve school his face with patience instead of sadness.

Some months are worse than others, and Steve doesn't like unpredictable things. Even though he's patient. Even though he rolls with the punches. He will never get used to seeing his best girl in pain, and so most of the time, you hide it from him. You've trained yourself to play it off like it's nothing more than a temporary stomach ache, but this one is bad. You cannot play off this month.

You drank as much water as you could handle. You peed every twenty minutes and cleaned up every time as if it would matter. You want to shower every hour, but that would be just as useless. You'll feel gross and bloated no matter what.

You should feel so pampered and loved when Steve gently slips the soft sock over your heel. You should be happy beneath his gorgeous, blue, adoring gaze. You should not start crying into your confection. It's not salted caramel, for christ's sake. Get it together.

Which, of course, you can't do.

You can't stop any of it, and then you're happy you can't stop it because then he might stop. Somehow Steve only becomes more doting as you shovel ice cream in like air. He sneaks another bite of sandwich to make you smile. Somehow smiling makes the tears come faster. He peels away some blankets and the pillow, politely waiting until the spoon clinks against empty china. Somehow he wrestles you into his lap and hugs.

The firm grip he puts you in is soothing like a weighted blanket, tighter than you can wrap against your own gut, and it feels so good. He curls around you as you were curled in the cushions, a universal pressure, a universal peace.

"You want to watch a comedy or a nature documentary?" His voice rumbles against your back.

"Neither."

His chin pokes your cheek with a questioning hum.

"Tell me about your day," you reply, sighing, letting your whole self lean into Steve even though you feel swollen and grumpy.

He squeezes a little firmer around you, waiting to feel more tension drain from you. "Well, Sam complained that I was heavy again."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he had to lift me ten stories higher between buildings."

You scoff. "My god, how hard can it be?"

"I know, I know," he mutters, "I'm light as a feather. Practically lean."

"Yeah," you finally smile. "Go on. Have another ice cream sandwich, you skinny boy."

His chuckle rattles behind you. "Only if we can share...then I'm thinking a hot bath and more of this--" he cuddles up closer "--if you're game."

"Just a minute longer," you beg in a whisper before adding with more strength, "you still haven't told me about Sam and Bucky's latest tiff."

[slasheru]

Hi :3 I’m kinda having a bad night rn but I’m distracting myself by playing slasher u (for like the 10th time lmao) and I was wondering: how do u think the dateables would react/what would they do if their partner was having a really bad day? It’s alright if u don’t wanna answer lol and I hope ur having a good day/night <3

<3333 Of course! I wrote a decent amount of Slasher U when I was having a hard time myself irl, Hex's "how's your day" dialogue is actually something I put in to cheer myself up when I was writing it (:

Tate: Tate's had SO MANY bad days he might be an expert at helping you with YOURS. It's immediately hugs, blanket city, asking you about it and letting you vent if you want, listening, and if you don't feel like talking, he's there to tell you about HIS day or some cool thing you both discovered, like a movie you wanna watch. Tate is a BIIIIG cuddler. He's already passing you the flask and shutting the doors to the A/V lab so you guys don't get interrupted by randos (because Tate figures you could use a good cry, and he knows HE wouldn't want people around for that - besides you!) Tate's Bad Day empathy is off the CHARTS. He would hold you tight til either the sun came up or you felt better, whichever takes longer. He would also fight anyone who came to see you who you didn't wanna see, even though he KNOWS he'd get his ass kicked. Worth it, to save you.

Hex: OH NO! MY BABE IS HAVING A BAD DAY! :(((( Hex goes into SUPERHERO mode - he might be a little bit TOO enthuasiastic about cheering you up, at first, but his sole purpose in life is now making you feel better. Hex would try really, really hard and really really deeply to understand you and your pain as best as he can, like, REALLY leave no stone unturned. His love language is "understanding people". Hex's go-to cheer-ups are: Picking you up like a prince/ess, buying you food and coffee, hugging/cuddling you on the couch while you watch TV, showing you memes he found, never leaving your side, and doing acts of service like giving you a back rub or getting you your fave ice cream from the campus convenience store. He'd fall asleep on you/near you/with you all day/night just so you wouldn't have to be alone. :) He'd also sneak into any class big enough not to notice him, just so he could keep keeping you company!

Laila: Laila is the one person (besides maybe Sawyer) who would ACTIVELY try to fix your problems, haha. My darling Player is having a bad day?? Who did this? Sit down, have some tea, I've already come up with a ten-step plan to fix your problems AND I'm gonna start as soon as you feel comfortable enough for me to make some phone calls while I cuddle you til you feel better! Laila's got major "S/HE/THEY ASKED FOR NO PICKLES >:((((" energy so she'd be a great mix of actually comforting and vulnerable, especially if you had a hard emotional time, and handling whatever it is that made you upset - she knows more responsibility at a time like this can be crushing, and she's your Final Girl, dammit! Don't worry about a THING, Player - Laila's on the case!

Juno: Juno knows any world that hurts the Player they like/love is the WORST and SUCKS and Player is the BEST and FUCK ANYONE WHO THINKS OTHERWISE!! Though Juno's go-to cheering up is definitely partying and shenanigans, they'd actually ask the player what they'd like. Their favorite way to cheer people up is distracting them from their troubles, so Juno would probably plan all KINDS of fun date-style activities from parties to walks to pranks to adventures, for however as many days it takes for you to smile again. If you're a partier, they'd drop molly with you and talk for hours and hours about feelings. They would ALSO harbor a deep grudge against whoever/whatever did this to you (even if it's an inanimate object/concept, like, failing a class).

Sawyer: Sawyer would feel your pain/sadness VERY VERY DEEPLY. He'd probably start by spending hours listening to you or holding you, then ask if you wanted him to actively try and fix the problem. He'd spend a HUGE amount of time with you comforting you, basically kicking his aftercare into overdrive - Sawyer's the kind of guy who would cancel work or class to comfort you. (And if it got to the point where he'd be fired, well, looks like he's asking his boss/professors to work from home so he can be with you). He's also the kind of guy who definitely orders food and booze and weed and VHS tapes right to the dorms so you wouldn't have to go anywhere. He'd get REALLY protective - he's not letting anyone hurt you ever again, though. EVER - though he's not restrictive about it. The second anyone calls you a name behind your back, though, BAM. Sawyer's knife, their face, etc :V Sawyer's respectful of your boundaries more than anything, so he'd want to show you how much he loves you WITHOUT you ever feeling stifled or uncomfortable.

I hope your night gets better!!! <3333

[remyfire]

"I'll raise."

"Getting too rich for my blood," BJ murmurs, tossing a couple of chips into the pot. "I'll call. Sweetheart?"

"Sorry, what does raise mean again?" She winces, teeth toying at her lower lip sheepishly. Perfectly playing her part as BJ plays his. They had done this before, one night with Hawk and the brunette at Peggy's other side had requested an encore.

"You gotta put in another fifty cents like Trap did, or bump it up another quarter or more," Hawkeye supplies, managing a decent poker face himself.

Peg pretends to think for a moment, tongue running along the outside of her teeth behind her lips before she tosses her bet in. "Alright! I'll raise you another dollar!"

"You sure about that, Peg?" Hawkeye questions, eyes flashing with concern even as she nods.

"I'm not a fan out takin' money outta kiss's mouths but if you're sure," Trapper smirks, calling her bet.

"I fold," Beej remakes easily, sitting his cards down and propping an arm on the table to rest his cheek in his palm.

"It's all yours, Peggy," Hawk concedes, his amusement starting to shine through. Hopefully able to be masked as eagerness for Trap to show off.

"Flush!" Trapper announces, spreading his cards on the table.

Peg, for her part deflates a little, shoulders sagging in seeming defeat. "Dammit," she swears. "I think you win, Trap. All I have is a full house." Only when cards on the table, literally and metaphorically, does Peg let the poker face fall away into a cheeky, mischievous smirk of her own.

(this is just 2,500 words of self-indulgent complicated polyam configurations, thanks @lattehearted)

It's not a bad gig, what Hawk's got set up here. Yeah, sure, maybe he hadn't exactly caught Trap up on the specifics of why the hell he was even in California in the first place, but given how they last parted, that's all but expected at this point—the unspoken threat that if Trap is gonna pull the shit he did when he walked off on Hawk again, then that's it, and no two-years-late letter's gonna save him again.

The hosts were, ah...notably chilly as fuck when Trap first arrived, but...well, it's been a month now, and at least one of them has thawed significantly. Peg's sweet, practically an angel. There's more bravery in her pinkie than half the guys he's been shoulder to shoulder with in wars. He doesn't know what kind of saint's got a heart that'll let her husband come home with a man when she's been raising a kid solo for two years nor who'd let a perfect stranger waltz into her home to try and fix the mistake he made years ago.

She's cute. She's sweet. She makes it safe for Trap to let his guard down as he sinks back under Hawk's skin more and more. And by spending time with him over tea or scotch or ice cream—the last one shared by Erin, of course—she makes it way fucking less frustrating for him to learn how to share. After all, Hawk was already reacclimating to civilian life with his pretty boy toy before Trap even bit back his pride and sent his letter to Maine in the first place. And said boy toy's shown no particular desire to let Trapper be alone with Hawkeye any longer than he has to. Compassion for a guy finally shoving down all that old fear of his own desires? Nah, no, get in line, pal, he might as well say, like he doesn't have a perfect wife to attend to as well.

At this rate, he's pretty sure the big guy's never gonna give him more than an inch. But that's fine. They can be civil. And if BJ happens to be so busy with Hawk every night, then...

Well, Trap's certainly no stranger to chasing a wife, even if her husband's grumbling about it.

It's been a long hour of poker so far. Trap's up a little, Hawk's up a lot, BJ's middling, and Peg's only got her last chips. It almost makes him feel bad to take her down to next to nothing. One more hand, she's gonna have to go all in, and once the chips are gone, if she wants to keep playing, then...

Down, boy. Trapper knows a shy girl when he sees one. She's got it written all over her face. It's been there this whole game while she's been struggling to learn. Last thing he wants to do is scare her off with his filthy mouth when the chase is half the fun.

He's actually feeling pretty damn cocky when he spreads out his flush. He's ready to gently remind Peg that the best way to learn to play the game is to lose the hardest—and then he sees the delicate way she skims those cards onto the table, as though she's all too intimately familiar with the feel of them in her hands, and something...sinks in, way, way down deep.

The sparkle in her eyes. The curl of her adorable nose. The way her teeth gleam in the light like a predator. She leans forward ever so slightly, elbows on the table, as though she's trying to drink in his reaction for a very specific reason.

It's been a long, long time since he's been hustled quite so elegantly. And he forgot exactly how quickly it can start an bonfire inside him.

Trap slowly lifts his brows as he stares her back down. "Y'know, Hawk, I think we might've just been hustled."

"I think you might be right, Trap," he drawls right back, fast as a bullet, his timbre as dark and rich as Trapper's ever heard it. "Look at her. She thought she could get away with it."

"Thought there wouldn't be consequences." Trap sets his chin on his fists as his lips start to quirk.

"Thought that just because she was cute, she could rob you down to nothing and just waltz away, unscathed."

Trapper takes a second to flick his gaze to Hawkeye. "That only works for you."

Hawk bats his lashes, those sleepy blue eyes more than a little inviting. He doesn't take his gaze off Trapper, not even when Trap looks back at the little blonde pixie across from him.

"Dunno if you know this, sweetheart, but most people don't take too good to being hustled." Every muscle in Trap's body is coiled, holding him down in his chair. This ain't no nurse he can just pull across the table and kiss the life out of. If he takes a step forward, he's gotta make sure she's not taking one further back. "You've gotta pay your dues. Make it up to me."

Peg pushes her lips out into a frankly impressive pout, dipping her head so her hair falls more in her face. "Well...I'd certainly hate to let you go home empty-handed after I just cleaned you out of so much." It's only the breathy edge of her tone that tickles across Trapper's skin, whispers that she didn't just take one step forward, but two. "Tell me, John. How do I make it up to you?"

It's like missiles go off in his legs, filling them with explosive energy. He shoves back from the table with a grin and starts to stand. "How 'bout I show you?"

A house-slipper-covered foot shoots out, propping loudly on the edge of the chair between Trap's thighs, and he drops back down in surprise and locks eyes with BJ Hunnicutt himself. The man's almost languidly leaned back in his own seat, but Trapper's gotten into enough trouble on the streets of Boston as a kid to know what it looks like when someone's looking for a reason to fight. Not even the smooth smile that plays across BJ's face can make him look any less lethal.

"Please, she's my wife." BJ's voice is deceptively bright. "Whatever she's totaled up, just put it on my tab."

Trap's eyebrows lift. It's not enough for BJ to keep the boyfriend all to himself. No, he's gonna step in and block off his wife too when she's all but giving Trapper the bedroom eyes? He can't help but let out a little huff of a laugh. "Hey, now, don't put other people's things on credit if you're not gonna pay it back, pal."

BJ's lips spread just a bit further—"Oh, not the smirk, Beej," Hawk murmurs from the other side of the table—and he chuckles as well. "You came here for one thing, McIntyre. I don't believe running up a credit line on everybody else was part of that."

"For the record," Peg perks up, "I'm perfectly happy helping to balance the ledgers, Beej. You never minded how I handled the finances before."

BJ doesn't take his eyes off Trapper, but he does flare his nostrils, and a hint of color travels down his long throat as he takes a deep breath. Interesting. Very, very interesting.

"Why the fuck are we all talking in metaphors? What is this, Intro to Lit?" Hawk whispers to Peg. She pats his hand.

It's a tough choice. Hunnicutt here's throwing down a wall around his pretty little wife, brick by brick, but he's going slow. He's not snarling, not running Trapper off. He's clearly hearing every damn word his wife says. But when Trap shifts in the chair, he also sees those hackles go up just slightly, the goading temptation for Trap to see what happens if he chooses Peg's invitation over BJ's claim.

Something tells him he's got a lot more to figure out about how this couple prefers to operate.

"Oy," Hawk mumbles, then stands. He wanders around behind Trapper, fingers trailing little sparks of fire right across his back, and that same hand drifts down Trap's shoulder, his bicep, all the way to where he can snag BJ by the knee. He tugs, bringing the leg back down to the floor, the slipper trailing down the inside of Trapper's thigh as it does.

As BJ's foot hits the ground, Hawk throws a slim leg around his waist and straddles him. "You're trapped now. Oops."

"Am I?" Beej drawls.

"Mm-hmm." Hawk brushes their noses together with a smirk as he wraps his arms around BJ's neck. "It's really a shame."

"I should've known you'd be in cahoots."

"Who, me and your wife? Yeah." Hawk nods thoughtfully. "Yeah, sounds about right."

This time when Trapper gets up, BJ only follows him with his gaze rather than a physical barrier.

He circles the table and leans down until he's on a level with Peg. This close, her wide eyes are pools, so fucking dangerous to toe the edge of. He knows what he could fuck up right here in the name of fun. He knows his body, his mind, his heart. The pale skin on his left ring finger still hasn't started to tan to match the rest of him. If he's not careful, if he actually lets himself fall for her...

Trapper lightly taps her chin with his index finger, tipping her head back so they're closer still. "Feeling brave, soldier?"

He can hear the nervous anticipation in the shivery breath she takes. But to her credit, she doesn't so much as flinch. "Are you?"

His grin widens. Yeah, no, he's fucked. Completely and utterly.

He scoops her up without another hesitation and starts carrying her into the living room. "C'mon. If I'm gonna kiss you, I'll keep your modesty intact by taking you away from the audience."

Peg giggles as she tightens her thighs around his waist. She's got fucking strong legs. It makes a man's mind wander. "You know, from all the stories I've heard about you, I never would've pinned you as someone who gave a damn about a woman's modesty."

"You calling me a cad?" he teases, lifting his brow.

Fun as the banter's been, the unfamiliarity between them rises up. Peg's jaw drops. "Oh, o-oh, no, I wouldn't do that—"

"No, you can, it's true." Trap tumbles back on the couch with her on top of him, then knits a hand around the back of her neck to coax her down. "Call me whatever you want, sweetheart. Just kiss me first."

As Peg sinks her fingers into his curls and his lips meet hers, a wave rushes through him. It's funny. He's fantasized about exactly this for at least two weeks, ever since their first little walk to the park together with Erin in her stroller while the boys took some time to themselves. He just hadn't anticipated that only the taste of her sweet mouth was going to be enough to satisfy him. He could do this—just this—for hours and not get sick of it.

She lifts away just an inch, watching him with a silent question in her eyes, and he answers it by pulling her down to drown with him.

In the other room, BJ leans his chair as far backward as he can, trying to catch a peek at what might be happening, and Hawk chuckles as he tugs him by the shirt collar to look at him again. "You're so jealous, you're about to paint the whole kitchen green."

"I'm not jealous," Beej corrects him with smooth confidence in his own lie. "I am simply making sure that your boyfriend knows how to be a gentleman."

"And what if Peggy doesn't want a gentleman right now, huh?"

It really doesn't take much to call up an image of someone as strong and self-assured as McIntyre pinning down Beej's petite wife, hands around her wrists, making her plead for whatever she wants. Hickeys on her neck. Fingerprints on her forearms. He takes what must be his hundredth huge breath for the evening, but it does nothing to cool the lava storm in his chest. He doesn't yet have appropriate words for the possessive need to reclaim her like he wants. If she begs McIntyre to cover her with his marks, then BJ will have a lovely time plastering over all of them with his own.

Hawk rocks back in his lap and Beej holds him still with his hands on his hips. But it's too late. Hawk's felt the lift of interest in Beej's pants and he's damn well smug about it. "Ohoho," he breathes right against Beej's lips. "You're gonna absolutely ruin her tonight, aren't you?"

"If she'd like." He manages to keep his tone perfectly measured.

"Oh, yeah, Miss Flutters-Her-Eyelashes, friend of every bartender, waiter, handyman, and pool boy in the state, no, yeah, this is the one night she's gonna throw you in the cold shower." But barely before Hawk's even done talking, BJ leans to look again, and Hawk catches him by the cheek and presses their foreheads together. "C'mon. Let her have a little fun." He wiggles. "And let me have mine too."

Beej snorts, but as he slides his arms around Hawk's slim waist, he seems to be relenting. "You're just distracting me so your boyfriend and your girlfriend can neck for a while."

"I'm distracting you because it means I get to have the matinee performance all to myself so I can be in the audience for the grand finale tonight." He sinks his teeth into BJ's bottom lip and sucks it into his mouth, fueled by the rough groan that Beej feeds him. "Whaddya say, huh?"

Beej gives him one long, dangerous stare before he stands and pushes Hawk down on the poker table, scattering cards and chips everywhere. "I say let's raise the curtain."

Hawk throws his head back with an indulgent, self-satisfied smirk as Beej slots their hips together and starts sucking a bite of his own into Hawkeye's neck. He gets the distinct feeling that he's being reclaimed too—and he's really not mad about it. His boyfriends will figure their shit out one day. Until then, he's more than happy to be the spoils of their war.

[hullomoon]

hullomoon’s 2022 works: part one

it’s the end of the year, which means it’s time for a work round-up! this year i really tipped into being podfic heavy (and more multifandom!). if you haven’t yet, check out my 2019 roundup, 2020 roundup, and 2021 roundup! all works are ordered in chronological posting order.

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight

i rule with the velvet tongue | Schitt’s Creek | Steve/Ruth | explicit | 789

Ruth takes Stevie apart 

[podfic] Natural Selection | Schitt’s Creek | David/Patrick | 0:32:31

David is a penguin. Obviously so is Patrick given that human-penguin pairings are rarely successful in business together, much less romantically in business together.

[podfic] twist yourself around me | Schitt’s Creek & Crazy Ex-Girlfriend | David/Rebecca | multivoice | 0:10:27

He’s seen her here before, he’s pretty sure, but this time, her friends have left her sitting alone, having wandered off to dance or drink or fuck. His friends have done the same, and he’s just drunk enough and lonely enough to approach her. Not that he never approaches strangers in the clubs. On the contrary, he does it with enough frequency that it would be alarming if he stopped to think about it (so he never stops to think about it). Those interactions, though, rarely involve many words, all sweaty bodies and hands and tongues. Something about this woman makes him want to strike up a conversation. So he slides into the seat across from her.

[podfic] kiss me beneath the mistletoe | Schitt’s Creek | Alexis/Twyla | multivoice | 0:12:58

twyla’s body magically produces plants whenever she feels any strong emotion, but she has it completely under control. that is, until she meets alexis rose. now what is she supposed to do with all these roses?

[Podfic] Through Someone Else’s Eyes | Schitt’s Creek | Alexis & David | multivoice | ~0:27:00

It’s all Mr Hockley’s fault.

The tea was supposed to get him high, not make him wake up in his sister’s body.

[Podfic] a lifetime of promises | Schitt’s Creek | David/Patrick | multivoice | 06:06

Their wedding song is playing at Brebner’s.

No, not their wedding song; their song. Not that David would ever try to claim the downright divine masterpieces of Tina Turner — he generally believes that couples having “songs” is cheesy and off-putting — but dammit, if anyone earned a song, this song, it’s him and Patrick.

—

or, sometimes you have a mini breakdown in the ice cream aisle of the supermarket, and that’s okay

Crawl Before You Can Walk | Schitt’s Creek | David/Patrick | 10:18

The continuing adventures of Ted the Turtle.

but it’s golden | Schitt’s Creek | Rachel/Heather | ~3.1k

Rachel knew that going back to Schitt's Creek meant she'd see Heather again. What she didn't expect was spending the weekend with her.

Femslash February: Chapter One | Schitt’s Creek | Alexis/Ruth | 100

rainbow

Femslash February: Chapter 8 | Schitt’s Creek | Ronnie/Moira | 100

fashion

[creamecream]

@shinynymphia

Lycoris gently asking a nervous Pirouette if they can call him beautiful.

[scarfwrites]

Confrontation (To Mend a Broken Heart Part 9)

❅ Iwaizumi x Singer Fem!Reader

❅Format: Fluff, Crack, Angst, Comfort

❅Warning: emotional manipulation

❅Authors Note: I was on a fever dream while making part 8 so this was literally made after that

“Where have you been” Daisuke said glaring at you with intense eyes

“Huh? Oh we were at the ice cream shop!” You said nervously

“What took you so long! I was worried sick!” He yelled worriedly though his intense glare did not fade

“Well we helped the owner with her customers. It was really flooded, you should’ve seen it!” you chuckled trying to lighten the situation

“You didn’t answer my calls! Or my texts! Do you know how worried I was!” He glared though you could see the worriedness in his eyes which made you intensely guilty

“I-I’m really sorry” you said about to tear up as you felt intensely frightened from his change of mood

“Y/N? What’s going on, why are you crying?” Iwaizumi said rushing to comfort you as Daisuke’s aura intensified

“I-It’s nothing just a m-misunderstanding” you smiled as you hiccuped

“Hey don’t cry alright? It’s my fault anyways for turning our work into a competition” Iwaizumi said hugging you tightly

“Why are you so worried anyways? You knew she was with me” Iwaizumi said glaring at your boyfriend

“Is it wrong for her boyfriend to be worried for her” Daisuke scoffed

“You don’t have to be such an asshole about it. I’d never do anything to hurt her or let anyone hurt her” Iwaizumi scowled

“You may be her best friend but that still doesn't mean I’ll ever trust you” Daisuke growled

“I could say the same thing to you” Iwaizumi retorted back

You watched as the two boys intensely glared at each other ignoring your pleas for them to stop. As they continued to berate each other you started crying intensely which finally made them stop. Seeing you cry so intensely, Iwaizumi opted to take you away from your boyfriend's house and back to his house to let you, him and your boyfriend cool off.

“You need to cool off don’t try following us” Iwaizumi said closing the door

“DAMMIT” Daisuke yelled and slammed the table out of anger

 As you both arrived at his house he brewed your favourite tea

“Hey Y/N I’m really sorry about earlier” Iwaizumi said handing you the tea

“It’s not your fault Zumi” you smiled weakly as you drank the tea

“No Y/N I completely ignored you no matter how you wanted me to stop. I let my anger get the best of me and I’m deeply sorry for that” Iwaizumi said looking frustrated with himself

“I forgive you Zumi” you smiled “But it really wasn’t your fault” you said placing your hands on his lap

“He was so different from before I was so scared” you said meekly

“Well at least you were there” you smiled teasingly as he blushed looking away

“I told you to stop flattering me like that” he said still looking away as you chuckled

“Alright then, well do you wanna watch some movies” you asked

“Yeah I don’t mind” he said his cheeks still red

“Godzilla?” You asked knowing his reply

“You already know my answer” he chuckled lightly

After binge watching Godzilla movies you quickly fell asleep on Iwaizumi’s lap. He was glad you were asleep as he was sure he was as red as a tomato. He was glad you calmed down after seeing your boyfriend lash out on you. He really doesn’t trust you alone with him. He continued to watch more Godzilla, though the idea of opting to sleep with you made him feel perverse but he really didn’t want to disturb your sleep from what happened earlier. As he was watching he decided to tell the group his confrontation with your boyfriend.

He sighed reading that last message as he felt movement on his chest. As he looked he saw you rubbing your eyes as you slowly woke up.

“Oh Zumi, what are you doing here?” You asked tiredly

“You fell asleep midway through the third movie” he chuckled

“Sorry! You must’ve felt uncomfortable with me sleeping on your chest” you apologised

“It’s fine we used to do this all the time” he smiled at you

“Are you alright now?” he asked

“Yeah, sleep always helps me with any kind of stress!” you smiled cutely

“Sounds pretty typical of you” Iwaizumi chuckled as you saw heard his phone buzz

“Were you talking to someone” you asked

“Yeah well texting” he replied

“Who?” You asked but was soon answered as the door busted open

“WE’RE HERE!” You hear a group of people yell 

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST(OPEN) @byeolofseonghwa @noideawhothatis

[local-pokesimp]

Dumb headcanons about the bois :)

Silver and Bede are almost always at each other's throats. They just hate each other, but it's the, "I'm the only one allowed to insult this little shit."

Wally is treated as the baby of the group, even though he's the second most mature next to Cheren.

Calem and Hugh surprisingly get along with each other.

Barry and Hau have Too Much Energy™️ and the others are all just so done with their bullshit.

Cheren is the mom friend of their group, Calem is Mom #2.

Hop has a habit of accidentally hitting someone in the face. (It's usually Bede or Blue.)

Silver: "Have you ever seen Brendan without his hat?"

Wally: "Yeah, his hair looks kinda weird, but it's nice."

Barry: "yOU'VE SEEN BRENDAN WITHOUT HIS HAT?!?!?!?!???"

Bede and Hugh argue with each other about their hairstyles and fashion sense.

Calem watches them with the most judgemental Kalosian look ever as he drinks his 12th cup of coffee of the day.

Blue won't shut up talking about Red and about how cool he is. Everyone else is fed up about it.

Zamazenta and Ho-Oh enjoy headpats from the guys.

Hugh: I don't know what's weirder; that there's two in our group that owns Legendary Pokemon, or that said Pokemon enjoy headpats.

Cheren, vibing with Zamazenta: Just roll with it.

Hau said "fuck" once, and Calem started crying.

Blue uses the most hair gel out of them all. (Hugh's Qwilfish hair is natural.)

Hop does dumb shit. Hau joins him in doing the dumb shit. Cheren just wants some coffee.

Silver 🤝 Cheren 🤝 Calem. Coffee gang.

Wally bites ice cream, Silver and Hugh are scared of him.

Barry boils Gatorade and calls it tea. Bede calls him a weirdo and a disgrace to society.

Silver wears glasses, but he prefers his contacts more.

Barry can't function properly if the temperature is too hot.

They find out that Wally has ninja ancestry and lose their shit.

Calem: "Wait, wait... What do you mean you didn't know that your ancestor was a ninja?"

Wally: *shrugs* "I dunno, all I knew is that they made some potato mochi recipe that's been passed down since forever."

Silver: "Didn't those come from Sinnoh?"

Hugh: "Maybe he met someone who made potato mochi and decided to expand it or something?"

Barry: "I saw a book in the Canalave Library once that talked about Ancient Sinnoh... I think there was an entry about it."

Cheren: "We're going to Sinnoh. Let's go." *starts dragging Barry away*

Hop: *starts following them* "Oh! I wanna come!"

Bede: "...I thought he was supposed to be the responsible one."

Blue: "Well, he's a nerd."

Hau: "Calem's in charge now!"

Calem: "...Dammit."

Wally: "Why is everyone suddenly so interested in me having some ninja ancestor?!"

Hau: "Because ninjas are cool! Have you even met Elite Four Koga or Gym Leader Janine?!"

Blue is 19, Calem is 17, Cheren is 16, Silver, and Hugh are 15, Wally, Barry, Bede and Hop are 14, and Hau is 12.

[neondiamond]

❄️ Recently Read Fics - January 2022 ❄️

I’ve been meaning to start doing monthly fic recs for a while now, but never truly committed to it... New year, new me I guess, so here goes nothing!

These are all the amazing fics I read over the past month (from shortest to longest). Don’t forget to leave kudos and comments to show the authors your appreciation if you read any of these! 💙

❄️ tea and rainy day by @justalarryblog (471, G)

Harry wanted to surprise Louis with a dinner for their anniversary, but then it rained.

❄️ around you like the rings of saturn by @hershelsue (577, G)

Niall and Harry are best friends. Because they're both omegas who live together, they decide to help each other during their heats. It becomes something else.

❄️ hush-a-bi by @peggyschuylerbasically (670, G)

Harry can't sleep and there's an ice cream truck outside.

❄️ The Wolf Wash by @haztobegood (1k, NR)

It's bath night for the pups after they catch fleas at preschool.

❄️ through your brand new eyes by @hershelsue (2k, M)

Harry has been at the clinic for three months. Life's difficult and his fear of windows grows each day. Things turn for the best when he meets Louis, a sweet boy who narrates to him what he sees through the window.

❄️ Ground Control to Major Tomlinson by @thestylinsons (3k, T)

What if Space Oddity's Major Tom was Major Louis W. Tomlinson, on his first endeavor to the moon?

❄️ you fit me better by @hershelsue (3k, E)

Louis moves back to Cheshire with no prospects and lacking a laundry machine for his apartment. At the laundromat, he meets Harry, a meddlesome alpha who smells divinely enough to ease his anxiety. When Louis goes back home, he finds out he switched clothing with Harry, meaning he needs to meet him again to give it back.

❄️ a visit from two friendly ghosts by @onlyforbravest (4k, T)

“It’s probably just Harry or Louis moving around,” Charlie says with a shrug, moving past Emmy to head to the bathroom.

"What?" Emmy's voice is high with fear, and he almost runs after Charlie. “What do you mean? Who are Harry and Louis? I thought you said we were alone!”

“Sorry,” Charlie apologizes. “Harry and Louis lived here before us. They built the house when they got married and lived here the rest of their lives.” Charlie shrugs, knowing the story by heart. The love it seemed like they had shared is one he wants for himself one day.

(Harry and Louis never truly left the home they built themselves. They're still there, making the next generations feel safe and inspired by the love the two of them had shared. This is their story.)

❄️ So Paris When We Kiss by @beelou (4k, G)

Harry shakes his head to himself and gets situated with his laptop on the table and a sip of his drink.

Ah, that’s better.

That is, until he opens his laptop. “Dammit Niall,” Harry curses under his breath. There’s a travel website open that he certainly did not open himself. Niall has been trying to get him to Paris ever since he got his mark. There’s not any particular reason why he hasn’t gone, it just never felt like the right time. But he is 26 and maybe Niall is on to something. He starts checking fares and calculating in his head if he can afford it. A new environment might help him with inspiration for his novel as well.

Looks like he’s finally going to Paris.

❄️ A Picture of Your Open Throat by @larry-hiatus (4k, E)

What happens when Harry accidentally sends an inappropriate picture to his boss' son? He's about to find out and possibly have his wildest dreams come true.

❄️ Love Mail by @neondiamond (5k, G, yes this is mine, but we love a bit of self-promo around here)

A week after moving into a new apartment complex, Harry discovers the mailman doesn’t seem to know the difference between numbers 23 and 28. He’s not too mad about it when he finds out just how handsome his neighbour from apartment 28 really is.

Or the one where Harry and Louis keep mistakingly receiving each other’s mail (and also fall in love).

❄️ I’ll Keep You Warm by @parmahamlarrie (5k, T)

Louis is the kind of guy who keeps his head down and minds his own business. He’s lived on the same street for years and barely would recognize the buildings, let alone his neighbours. That’s all about to change however, due to a broken key and an unexpected snow storm.

❄️ i met a superhero by Anonymous (7k, M)

Harry has fibromyalgia and Niall is an idiot, leaving Louis to bump into Harry at 6am in a hospital corridor. It ends up as something much more wonderful than Harry ever could have expected, stood with a walker in his ratty PJs after a nasty flare-up, and he finally finds someone who can love him just the way he is.

❄️ Just Your Jinx by @larryatendoftheday (10k, T)

Harry Styles may or may not have accidentally jinxed his extremely fit new neighbor, and it's not so easy to make things right.

❄️ Mistletoe, Memories, and Mayhem by @jacaranda-bloom​ (12k, M)

Louis had a plan. A solid plan. A brilliant plan. A plan that would sweep the love of his life off his feet and propel them both towards the marriage Louis so desperately wanted. He just hadn’t accounted for the calamitous unfolding of events as he tried to execute said brilliant plan.

 ❄️ Don’t Come Home For Christmas by @larry-hiatus (14k, T)

What do Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson have in common? Only three things: they used to be best friends; they despise each other all these years later; and they’re both staying at Harry’s place for Christmas. One way they differ, however, is that only Louis knows the real reason they became enemies, and he’s not telling anyone.

❄️interim by @sun-lt (17k, T, please read tags and warnings)

When Harry stops cooking, Louis considers it a minor inconvenience.

When Harry stops baking, Louis feels the world—his world, their world—tilt on its axis.

When Harry stops wanting to eat, Louis drags everything he feels deep inside and stores it all in the pit of his stomach where it settles like a chunk of lead.

It's just three weeks before Christmas.

❄️ learned to lose you (can't afford to) by @lt2soon (23k, M, please read tags and warnings)

“Hey,” he reaches out, putting a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “This might sound crazy,” he blows air out, knowing it will. “But ask me again tomorrow, okay?”

“Tomorrow?”

“Mhm.”

“You make no sense,” Harry shakes his head, but can’t contain the smile. “But it’s a promise.”

Louis is just happy he doesn’t look so sad anymore. Even if tomorrow’s promise might be a lie.

[georgiapeach30513]

Joshua and Emy!!!! I swear everytime you write a new couple I’m instantly obsessed. I know it’s soon but can we please please please have a part 2🙏🙏🙏

Are they not the cutest!! So a bit of a backstory, if you didn't catch it...Joshua is Emy's Carter. She's always had a bit of a crush on him. That's how she got involved with Blade. She wanted to learn the ways to turn a man on. Plus, she's quite observant. She's watched Joshua, and he quite likes her being a bit shy, but also a bit assertive. he just didn't know what to do when this sweet thing was talking to him like that.

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Dammit

Summary:  Joshie helps Emy study

Pairings:  Joshua X Emy

Rating:  explicit

Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, PIV sex, cockwarming, pinching, cream pie, squirting, mentions of recorded sex, mentions of masturbation, 18+ ONLY

Word Count:  1.3K

Desperate Lives AU Masterlist

Emy Rogers Masterlist

Joshua turns his car off, and stares at his and his dad’s office building.  He knows this is wrong, but dammit, she wore those tight pencil skirts everyday.  Her sneaky little bending over his desk, while he was on a phone call.  Even the way the woman drank from a straw.  Always waiting for his dad to not be present, before her tongue would circle around the straw.  Letting her milk tea drip onto her pouty lips before she’d lick it away slowly.  

And fucking hell, every time she brought in lunch, and she would lean over, and her blouse would show enough of her black lacy bra.  Emy was a fiend.  Joshua had spent too many times having to relieve himself after work.  Spent the whole day with pent up frustration, and all because of that vixen.  He should be rewarded for the amount of strain she’s caused his pants.

Casually walking into the building, locking the door, and closing the blinds before he pretends there’s a need in his office.  Bypassing his dad’s and Emy laid on her stomach with her knees bent, and she’s fucking rocking on that pillow.  Her ass with the perfect recoil with every move, and he has to look away.  

Joshua can’t remember any woman getting him as frustrated as that little girl, no woman, is getting to him.  Having the ability to look so sexy during the day, and yet innocent every night at the office.  Flipping through his and his dad’s notes.  Why was he letting her get to him.  This wasn’t Joshua.

“Joshie?”

He sighs, he showed up, knowing she needed help ‘studying’.  He wanted this, so now why is he hesitating.  Dammit, she looked good coming into his office.  A shirt slung off her shoulder, no bra, and that shirt draped over her tits perfectly.  He can’t even see if she has shorts on.  

“Hey, Emy,” he says sheepishly.  “What cha doing?”

“Studying.  I was hoping you could quiz me,” her green eyes sparkle at him, and he can’t say no.  Can’t do anything but nod his head.  “You gonna be able to quiz me.”

“It’s not the quiz that’s got me so flustered,” her finger presses up against his chest, and she walks him over to his couch.  Finally, getting a sense of himself again, “We need a towel?  How messy are you?”

“So messy,” cocking up his eyebrow, he walks into the bathroom grabbing up a towel to lay down, “Do I make you nervous Joshie?  I just need help studying.”

“Yeah, your dad makes me nervous,” she rolls her eyes, and pulls him closer to her by his belt loop.  Those fountain pen ink stained fingers being put to use as she undoes his pants.  Her eyes roll up to meet his, and he gulps.  

“You’re a big boy.”

“So I’ve been told,” pushing him back onto the couch, she pulls up that long shirt, and is in fact not wearing anything underneath.  “Wait, waitwaitwait.”

“Cold feet Barnes?”

“No, I just want to see your face when I stretch you out the first time,” with a crooked smirk, she grabs up his finger, letting him run it up the length of her slit, “Yep, I think you’re good and wet. C’mere.”

“Yes, sir,” Joshua lets out an unexpected growl, and she smiles up at him, “What was that?” she asks straddling him.  Grabbing the base of his cock, she slowly sinks down on him.

“You ever been stretched out that much, sweetheart?  You got a bit starry eyed.”

For a moment, she let her hard exterior falter, “It’s because it was you,” she whispers out.  Joshua moves to cup her cheek, and he never mixes kissing with sex, but this time, he does.  Slotting his lips against her, and tasting her sweet little whimpers.  For now, he’ll pretend he didn’t hear that.  Deal with that at a later date.

But man, at the way she rolls her hips over him.  So perfectly timed with his eager tongue, “I really gotta study,” she pants out.  Her lungs aching for air, but her body craving Joshua.

“I know, just, just one more kiss,” he says pulling her close to him.  He drops a hand, just so he can toy with her pretty little clit.  Devouring her moans.  At this point neither one wanting to partake in the studying offer, but Emy pulls back again.  “Okay.  Back to business.”

---------------

Joshua leans forward, his mouth right at Emy’s ear, whispering out the question.  Her hair a mess, and sweat dotted around her hairline, she can’t think properly.  “If you get this right, we gotta stop.”

“Why?” her voice whines.

“Because, my fucking cock is twitching, and I could blow a load with you just sitting on me, and I really just want to lean you over this fucking couch and pound into you.  You’re struggling to breath, this tight pussy is trembling over me, and I can’t fucking stand it.  I need to fuck you right now.”

“Then fuck me!”

“Get the goddamn answer right, and I’ll fuck you, and make you watch yourself in that mirror behind us.  Okay?”

Both of them completely naked at this point, he pinches onto her nipple, and begins reading the question again.  She whimpers out an answer, and thankfully it was correct.  Joshua has Emy pulled off his cock, and leaned over the couch, before she can comprehend what was happening.  

She arches her back, and he sees her swollen cunt leaking of her juices and beckoning him to take her.  Lining himself up, he grabs her hips harshly, and rails into her.  A constant round of lewd moans, and he can’t get enough of her wrecked face.  Tears spring in her eyes, and her knuckles white with how tight she’s clenching the couch.  

Wrapping his hand around her hair, he pulls her back to him, so he can see her tits bouncing in that mirror.  Her cunt swallowing him perfectly, and he hopes she has a quiz every day of the week.  Screaming out his name, when she squirts out, and he just wants more.  His hips slam into hers, and he smacks at that perfectly round ass.  “Such a pretty little slut, you are for me.  Got you soaking my cock and the couch.”

“Told you.”

“Who first made you squirt.”

“My fucking self,” Damn she keeps getting hotter.  Her walls seize around him, and he can’t hold back anymore.  She whines at the feeling of his cream filling up her abused hole.  “Fuck, that was fucking amazing.  I’ve got an IUD, too.  So we’re good.”

“Okay.  Yeah, I could get used to that.  Sorry.  Kinda should have had that talk beforehand.  So you really made yourself squirt?”

“Yeah, fuck a dildo long enough, it happens,” she smiles.  “Also that pretty Sibian helps, too.  I could send you a link.”

“A link?  You’ve got porn out there?”

“My face isn’t in it asshole,” she gives his hips a little push, “I wanna feel you leaking out of me.”

“Fuck! Why are you so hot?  So sex, is your thing?”

“I deal with childhood trauma.  Sometimes I need a good hard fucking, to deal with it.  I don’t want to think about it, I don’t want to bring it home,” he pulls out of her, and she sighs.  Her hand snakes down to her pussy, ready to catch the spunk.

“Wait.  I don’t normally ask this, but can I take a picture?  It’s just for me.”

“And for me,” his cock was already getting hard again.  Every word out of her fucking mouth was amazing.  He puts his phone just on her cunt, and she pushes out his thick cream.  Letting it drip into her hand, before those sinful fingers are being pushed into her mouth.  “I’ve got another quiz...”

“Tomorrow night?  Screw this quiz bullshit.  I think I’m addicted.”

“You should really see someone about that Joshie.”

“You should really not have a magic pussy,” she bites at her lip, allowing him to help her up.  Even letting him dress her.  “My house is much more comfortable that here.  Not to mention, dad, does occasionally come here.”

“Are you fucking serious?  Like Uncle Bucky could have seen us?  Oh, I’m going to be sick.”

“If you keep calling him Uncle Bucky, I’m going to be sick.  He’s not your uncle.”

"My house has the camera.”

“Dammit.”

Masterlist

[pies-writes-and-more]

Hungover Love

word count: 2,688

pairing: UniversityStudent!Akaashi Keiji x Fem!Reader

warnings: characters getting drunk and hungover - all assumed to be of legal age

a/n: I don’t know where this came from but I started writing it so here it is haha. Got the idea from @moanlightlust‘s list (can find it here!) so thank you! I’ll bold the prompt down below (I kinda changed it for the sake of the story but still got the idea from their prompt list :)) Thank you to @satan-ruler-of-hells​ and @thisnoodlewritesao3​ for reading over this for me! Love you both :)

haikyuu masterlist

“Akaashi?” You repeated the name for the second time as you strained your ears to hear something besides bar music and Bokuto’s loud voice in the background.

“Hm?” The small grunt made you smile, knowing he was probably slumped over on a chair, holding his face in one hand and leaning on a table in front of him, with his other hand pressing his phone a little too hard on his ear.

You let out a small laugh, pausing the show you had on your TV so you could hear him better, “Akaashi, you called me. Did you need something?”

There was another grunt on the other end of the line, and you chuckled as you heard Konoha teasing Bokuto about something in the distance, “What is it, Akaashi?” You inquired some more, listening to him hum quietly to the song playing.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” he mumbled and you just shook your head with a smile. God he must’ve had far too many drinks to be this out of it. “I fucking love Y/N Y/L/N. It almost feels like she can hear me right now,” he was saying and you just laughed. “Like I can... I can hear her laughing.”

“Akaashi, you idiot,” your face felt hot but you tried to ignore it. He was drunk. Very clearly drunk. He didn’t mean anything by it - the last time he was drunk, he told you he was going to leave his college volleyball team and join some new sport because Bokuto was getting on his nerves. 

It didn’t mean anything. It didn’t. It didn’t matter that those were the words you had been waiting to hear from him. It didn’t matter that you’d spent the last two years pining after him. He was drunk.

“Didya know... the other day.... Y/N smiled at me cause I said something funny- what did I say... I can’t remember what I said but I said something funny and she smiled and I just.. God it’s that smile ya know?” Akaashi’s voice seemed so much lighter than it did usually. You could tell that he was smiling and just imagining that goofy drunk smile on his face made your heart skip a beat or two.

“That’s nice,” you tried to keep things casual, avoid getting your hopes up too much. You didn’t want to ruin what you had with him - the nice fun friendship that was definitely just a friendship.

“Y/N?” Akaashi suddenly seemed a lot more present, as if just realizing you were on the line. 

“Yea?”

“Y/N!” The smile on his face was probably a lot bigger from the sounds of it, a chuckle slipping from his lips, “I love you, Y/N! I’ve loved you ever since I met you when you picked up my runaway ball for me back in high school. You were so pretty then and you’re super pretty now. Like you get prettier every day I see you-” his speech was quick and slurred, you could almost feel him getting drunker by the second.

“Akaashi-”

“Bokuto keeps telling me that I need to tell you but I dunno if I can because I’m pretty sure you like that dude that lives across from you and-”

“Akaashi-”

“But I guess I wouldn’t know until I told you right? So I’m telling you because I like you. I really like you. I wanted to bring you to that new ice cream place down the road from your place but you always seemed so busy and I don’t want to bug you, plus volleyball takes up so much time, and then there’s school, and I don’t even know how to balance volleyball, school, and a girlfriend-”

“Akaashi!” Your voice was louder this time, biting down on your inner cheek as his name left your lips. You needed him to stop - it had to stop. Your heart was fluttering too much and you couldn’t even tell how much of this was true. You wanted to tell yourself that alcohol could bring out people’s true feelings, but it also made you do dumb shit. And wouldn’t confessing to someone you didn’t actually like be considered dumb shit?

“Ya that’s me,” Akaashi mumbled, clearly a lot more tired than he seemed five seconds ago.

You tried not to laugh, tried to swallow your fears and your feelings, your heart feeling like it was beating a thousand times a minute. “I need you to go sober up, get some rest and drink lots of water okay?”

“But-”

“No but’s! You obviously drank way too much and honestly, I’ve never heard you talk like this before and I can’t even tell if it’s you anymore,” you acted like you were scolding him, putting up that wall again like you had so many other times before. He couldn’t really like you, could he? There was no way.

“Y/N Y/L/N, I fucking love you!” Akaashi yelled into the phone, making you cringe a bit at the volume.

Your chest was tightening, you couldn’t tell if it was fear or hope but whatever it was, it was scaring the shit out of you, “Shut the hell up! If you love me so much tell me when you’re sober, dammit!” You yelled back, immediately hanging up the phone. Your eyes widened as you watched the call screen disappear, your mouth suddenly feeling very dry.

The next few hours were radio silent from both Bokuto and Akaashi. You refused to text either of them in fear that you might accidentally say more than you wanted to.

It’s fine, he was really drunk from the sounds of it so he probably won’t even remember it right? I mean, the last time he got super drunk, he didn’t remember challenging the bartender to a pushup fight so... so he won’t remember.... right?

You paced in your room for a bit, glancing at your phone every five seconds to see if there was any sort of notification from either of your friends. But nothing. 

You barely slept a wink that night, tossing and turning while facing dreams of Akaashi laughing in your face the next time you saw him.

You thought I meant that? It was just a joke, Y/N.

I only see you as a friend, sorry.

Don’t you think you’re reading into our friendship a little too much? That’s all there is. Friendship. 

The idea of Akaashi awkwardly laughing in your face, giving you that half smile while dismissing your feelings haunted you for hours. By the time the sun came up, you gave up on the idea of sleeping and threw your blanket off of you. It was time to figure out how to survive your day without thinking about Akaashi Keiji at all. 

It wasn’t easy. Everything reminded you of him. Half of your Netflix was shows you were watching with him, or movies you’d already seen with him next to you. Your homework wasn’t any help either (though you definitely needed to get it done). Akaashi would normally come over and study with you, his adorable glasses making him look like some young professor, twirling his pencil around in his fingers while nodding along to some song stuck in his head. You couldn’t get used to studying on your own.

Radio silence finally broke when you texted Bokuto, asking if they all made it home safe last night and he responded with a very badly spelled text message saying, “himw safe so tirwd need adcil heaf hurtinh” (aka. home safe so tired need advil head hurting) 

Your lips curled into a small smile - at least Bokuto was alive. And the fact that he wasn’t all up in your face about Akaashi meant that the setter probably hadn’t said anything last night, or at least, it meant that Bokuto was too busy tending to a hangover to think about it.

A knock on your door made you jump, watching it for a moment before slowly approaching.

“Oi, open up, I know you’re in there.”

You calculated the odds and realistically there were only 3 reasons why Akaashi would be at your door right now, while he was still probably very hungover.

A. He was tired of listening to Bokuto complain about being hungover while also hungover and wanted you to help take care of him.

B. He wasn’t actually hungover and wanted to hang out.

C. He remembered your phone call from last night and wanted to confront you about it.

...

There was no way it was B or C so... it had to be A right?

You opened the door with a smile on your face, trying to pretend like this was the first time you spoke to him since you saw him earlier yesterday.

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” You asked, welcoming him in and watching his movements as he shuffled inside. He was wearing his sunglasses and wincing a little so... it definitely wasn’t B. He was definitely still hungover.

“Good morning to you too,” Akaashi chuckled slightly, groaning as he made his way over to your couch and flopped onto it. “God, my head is killing me,” he grumbled.

You felt almost a bit of relief - he wasn’t bringing it up so... it must mean that C wasn’t an option right? “I’ll make you some tea. Want something to eat?”

He made a noise that you assumed was a yes, grabbing some ramen packages that you liked to have whenever you were hungover.

“How’re the boys?” You asked as soon as the tea was finished, handing it to him as he sat up with a huff.

“Fine... I told them I didn’t want to get drunk,” he rolled his eyes. “But Bokuto kept pouring shots and being a little bitch when I didn’t want to have them... something about how he didn’t want to lose his best friend or something.”

You laughed, shaking your head slowly as you moved back to your little kitchen, “You’re always so busy studying. Bokuto probably just misses having you around.”

“We live together.”

“Ya well you’re always either on campus or here with me so I can see why he’d miss you,” you smirked, humming softly to yourself as you let the noodles cook. Things were okay. Things were normal. Things were going to be fine - all your worries were slipping away-

“So are we not going to talk about it?” 

Akaashi’s voice made you jump, turning around to find him standing right behind you and slowly sipping on the tea.

“Fuck, Akaashi, don’t do that,” you glared at him, hitting his arm, “Could’ve made me burn myself.” 

“Sorry,” he gave you a small smile, leaning against the nearby counter. “But we are going to talk about it, aren’t we?”

The ramen so clearly needed stirring and stirring was a full focus kind of job and this was obviously why you were looking into the pot and not looking at Akaashi, even though you could feel his eyes watching you, “Talk about what? Bokuto missing you?”

Akaashi chuckled and lifted his finger to under your chin, tilting your face to look at him, “I drank a lot. But I don’t think any amount of alcohol could make me forget how embarrassing I was.”

“Embarrassing?”

He watched your eyes for a moment before pulling his hand away from you and looking down at his tea, his smile slowly stiffening, “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I don’t want to make you more uncomfortable. I just thought I should apologize and let you know that you don’t have to reject me or anything. I like being friends with you and that’s enough for me, even if there’s a part of me that wants more.”

You almost dropped your spoon on the floor, staring at him with wide eyes, “S-Sorry what? Apologize? For... for what?”

“For confessing to you while drunk,” Akaashi’s smile was turning more sad now, taking a slow sip from his tea. “I’d been considering telling you how I feel for a while now and I guess I should’ve stopped myself from drinking sooner to save you the embarrassment.”

“Embarrassment? Akaashi, don’t be an idiot,” you ignored the soup still dripping from the spoon and whacked his arm with it.

“Hey!”

“You’re telling me you were drunk enough to confess to me and to remember what you said but not remember what I said at the end?” You huffed, hands on your hips now. 

Akaashi’s eyes lifted to the ceiling in thought, his lips pursing slowly like he did when he was concentrating on getting an answer right on his homework, “I know you seemed mad,” he finally responded, shrugging a bit. “I figured it was cause I put you on the spot like that.”

“No you absolute meathead, it’s because after months and months of pining after you, weeks of Bokuto almost spilling my secret on multiple different occasions to you, him almost screaming to you once about how much I love you, you end up telling me you love me over a drunk phone call and I can’t tell if you’re being serious or just a drunk dummy!” You scold him, hitting his arm again with your hand and shaking your head. God, for a boy with as high of an average as he had, how is it possible that there were no brain cells running around in that head of his?

Akaashi smirked a little, watching your eyes as you ranted, a playful smile on his lips, “So... you love me huh?”

“You better get out of my sight before I dump this ramen on your head,” you glare at him, trying your best not to smile because his smile was just so contagious but ugh that evil little smirk of his-

His lips were suddenly on your cheek, pressing a soft kiss to your skin and letting you feel the smirk still toying on his expression, “Drunk or not. I do love you, Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Y-Yeah yeah whatever,” you avoid his eyes some more, your whole face feeling hot and your cheek tingling where he had kissed you. “Go sit, it’s almost done.”

“Not until you say it back,” he teased, hugging you from behind and peppering your cheeks with some more kisses. “You said you love me, you can’t take it back now. Say it again.”

“Why?” you laughed, trying to pull away from his tight hug.

“Because it’s the best news I’ve ever gotten and I want to hear you say it again and again and again,” he insisted, turning you around to face him and smiling down at you. “Pretty please?”

You sighed with a smile on your face because as annoying as he could be, you really did mean it when you tell him, “I love you too, Akaashi.”

Alone time with Akaashi lasted long enough for him to properly ask you to go on a date with him to that ice cream shop, and was then interrupted by Bokuto showing up at your door and inviting himself in with a grin.

Apparently, the cure to Bokuto’s hangover was just knowing his two best friends had finally confessed to each other.

“God, I thought he’d never get drunk enough,” Bokuto grinned proudly to himself after you had happily explained the details to him. “I thought I’d have to just keep ordering him drinks.”

“What?” Akaashi glared at him, putting the pieces together.

Bokuto just smirked mischievously, “You can’t get mad cause it worked. I figured it would take a miracle to get you two to confess. And getting you drunk is basically a miracle.”

The fact that you were laughing made Akaashi want to kill Bokuto a little less, and even though he glared some more at his best friend, he would secretly thank him later for helping him get the courage to get the girl of his dreams. As much as Bokuto could get on his nerves sometimes, it really would be thanks to him that Akaashi got to take you out on that cute date and tell you just how much he loves you every day.

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