#dagon x beelzebub

[duke-of-torment]

*they knock and get in*

Can I hide here? I swear if I have to listen to Mammon one more second my ears might just burst

- @lower-management

*she looks up from her paperwork And jesters to a chair Infront of the desk* of course my lord

[duke-of-torment]

I HAVE EVERYTHING PERFECTLY UNDER CONTROL MY LORD, DEFINITELY NOT STUCK STANDING ON MY DESK

Dear lord beelezbub, lord of gluttony and prince of hell.

My lord lots of demons are terrorising the reports staff and eating their stationary after the hang up of a sign saying to not eat the stationary. What do we do

Rip their tonguez out and force feed nailz to anyone who continuez to do zo.

Alzo.

@duke-of-torment fucking told you zo.

[weird-but-hey]

Dagon: Lord Beelzebub?

Beelzebub: What- I'm not helping you guys, I'm off clock, nu-uh!

Dagon: No no no, wait, I have to ask

Beelz: No way! I didn't think you'd need my help that soon, come on!

Dagon: Please, I have to know! How did you know?

Beelz: I'm not telling you- wait, know what?

Dagon:.....know.. you liked an angel

Beelz: ...

Dagon:

Beelz: NO-

Dagon: Yeah

Beelz: N O- Which one?

Dagon: Wha- I'm not

Beelz: WHICH ONE

Dagon: MICHAEL

Beelz: .... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Dagon: My lord please stop laughing-

Beelz: MICHAEL??

[imacowboy3]

Headcanon that every angel has a demon who's their soulmate (romantic or platonic)

That one being they can trust and be themselves with, someone who can be their safety net and help them break their conditioning from their respective sides (I'll make a post with more on the conditioning later)

Till now we've seen:

Aziraphale has Crowley

Gabriel has Beelzebub

And there's been some speculation and shipping of:

Muriel and Eric

Michael and Dagon

(I only mentioned shipping cause those seem to be popular as romantic pairings but they could also easily be read as platonic!)

Now going to my point: I have this headcanon that metatron is just taking advantage of the systemic problems of heaven and spewing more and more bullshit to the angels to manipulate them into doing "what God wants" and has taken over by this point (mind you he is not necessarily THE problem of heaven, he's more of a representation of what is wrong with the system as a whole while also representing real people who are in positions of power and take advantage of a broken system to meet their own interests).

Now what if God,knowing that would happen, decided to pair the angels and then made half of them fall so that they'd have different points of view? Which yes is cruel and again a representation that God is kinda fucked up and so is her system and you might ask why do that? Why make all of them go through all this suffering to learn a lesson that wouldn't even be necessary in the first place if only she hadn't created the very problem the lesson was about?and my answer to that is: go read any passage of the Bible, that's just how God is,with all of her trials and tribulations...

But anyways, back on track: since they'd be fighting they would need a middle ground that didn't belong to either side (earth) and as they'd compete for human souls they'd end up meeting their soulmates and together they'd hopefully get closer to the humans and would start a process of deprogramming (I'll dive more into it on the conditioning post), cause that's pretty much what's happening with Zira and Crowley, is what happened with Gabe and Bee, they met their soulmate and started learning to enjoy life outside the feud between heaven and hell,they started learning that there's nothing wrong with just being happy and finding out who they want to be outside the limitations of their sides

So yeah

God knew shit would go down because she designed it to happen and decided to pair them all up to have some support on their journeys

[beebopboom]

i can just imagine Hell putting up posters like warning/reminding demons to stay away from angels because they are the enemy or some shit now that not only one but two demons (with one being the Grand Duke of Hell) have run off with an angel

like it can’t just be in the rule book anymore gotta put it on the motherfucking walls to reMIND SOME PEOPLE (looking at you Dagon)

[brainwormcity]

So we know that something was going down in the up but now I have to wonder what the hell is going on in Hell? Between the lesser demons being on half rations and the unavailability of a legion of demons. Why have the resources of Hell become so depleted?

[janeway-lover]

i haven't seen anyone give people shit for the angelfish ship cause now we all know that Neil is just as feral as the rest of us and if he gave us ineffable bureaucracy he could give us this

[magical616jade]

Demon's Biting Habit

Aziraphale: *reading an article about fake news about demons*

Crowley drunk asf: *slop over them and bite them straight on their neck*

Aziraphale: crowley!!?!? *Blushes hard and push them off*

Aziraphale:...wait until we are in bed ...

Crowley still drunk asf: :D

____

Muriel:*organizing books*

Eric: *sneak up to them like a cat then jump out and bite* >:3

Muriel: ek!! Eric!

Eric:*ran off quickly*

____

Gabriel: *sitting in their sofa holding wine* mmm relaxing-

Beelzebub: *came and slap his wine out of his hand then bite his neck aggressively*

Gabriel: OW!....do it again but harder (⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)- *get punch*

____

Michael: *drifting off on their chair* mm...zz..

Dagon: *came and bite their finger then ran off while laughing* HAHA

Micheal:?!?! *jolt up* I HATE U!

[ineffable-celestials]

Good Omens Roleplay Server

Hi hi, I know this isn't the usual thing that I post (even though what I post has been nothing at all lately) but I wanted to share this while I let more headcanons swim around my mind.

My friends and I made a Good Omens roleplay server on Discord since many others tend to scare us. We wanted to (hopefully) foster a safe community for others to explore their creativity! Of course, there is more than just roleplay and you can discuss Good Omens to your heart's content, but it is the main focus of the server. So please, give it a peek if you think you may be interested!

P.S. If the link doesn't work or expires, please let me know!

[ivory--raven]

Tumblr is it gay to wonder about how your enemy would taste if you licked them

[do-not-lick-the-walls]

a devil put aside | chapter five - truths and lies

masterlist | read on ao3

(gif via @goodsirs)

beelzebub x fallen angel!reader

summary: you shake a lot of hands, and waver between the true and the false.

(she/her pronouns are used for reader, no use of y/n)

warnings: religious themes & trauma, good lord thats a lot of anxiety from like 4 different directions

ineffable taglist: @sarcastic-sourwolf , @angelofthenight <3

-----

The hallways are much less cramped than they were, and not so hard to see in anymore. You scrape the bottom of the denial barrel and pretend that somebody fixed the lights, which are still flickering sadly, because the thought of your body having warped any more sends you into a wave of nausea. Beelzebub's reassurances can only hold off so much dread at a time.

So, now that the lights are fixed, you're getting a better look at the place. Obviously, it's still disgusting---same water damage, same grime, same clutter---but at least you can see where you're going. And some other details previously missed, like somebody's guts hanging from the ceiling, and the many, many demotivational posters.

"Don't get yourself all worked up about this first bit or anything, it's only paperwork. Getting you checked in and such," Beelzebub explains.

Walking beside them (along with the repaired lights) takes some of the fright out of traversing hell's maze. You're going at a half-stroll instead of the brisk pace you're used to, and the lesser demons move aside to let you pass. It might be a nice(?) walk, actually... if it wasn't for the stares.

Eyes are flocking to you, of course they are, sweeping you over to eagerly form every possible opinion at first and second glances. A chill blossoms beneath your skin as a kind of backwards deja vu pours over your brain, trickling down your spine like cold syrup. You shift closer to Beelzebub. Demons and their hungry, curious gazes peer from all sides. They can smell fear.

You exhale, and touch the pin on your collar. Notice it, you think, See that I'm not to be touched.

The Admissions lobby is full to the brim. Tons of sinners awaiting eternal torment, far too little staff. Promptness doesn't appear to be a concern though, if the various anti-apologies blaring over the P.A. system are anything to go off of. "We'd like to apologize for the wait, but we won't!" Beelzebub cuts through the crowd like butter, and you stay close behind, not eager to be swept out to sea.

You arrive at the front desk and find a very tired-looking demon behind it. He's hunched over some paperwork, scribbling away while a newly-dead sinner waits anxiously. Beelzebub clears their throat, and he jolts upright.

"Ah. Lord Beelzebub, you said you would be coming by..." He locks eyes with you, then quickly breaks, gaze flitting back and forth like he's looking for a place to set down his first impression. Another throat clear prompts him into leaning over the desk to address the crowd. "You'll all have to wait!"

A collective groan rumbles through the lobby, joined by a jaunty "Have A Miserable Eternity!" from the P.A.

"Please, uh. Come with me, Lord. And, uh..." he trails off, uncertain, then settles for "and... you."

He leads you past the counter, into a tiny back office with a concerning number of filing cabinets. Beelzebub plops themself in a chair, leg swung over the side as seems to be their habit, and you sit beside them while the admissions demon takes his place behind the desk. You can't tell whether it's you or Beelzebub that's making him so anxious, but one of you must be doing a damn good job, because he's so jumpy that he almost misses his chair.

"So," he wavers, "I take it you're the Seraph?"

"Not anymore, but yes," says Beelzebub, kicking their other foot up onto the desk. A grain of irritation that they answered for you ticks you in the head, but it quickly bounces off your gratitude for not having to speak.

"I'm Furfur, Senior Admissions Demon." He holds out his hand, grip is a little weak, but not unfriendly as you shake. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance, and welcome to hell."

You don't dislike him. He doesn't give off the impression of wanting to eat you, for one, a concept that has been very much tugging at the back of your mind over the course of the walk. But all demons are liars, and you never were a good judge of character, so you nod and stay quiet.

"This situation is highly unusual, of course, but I think I've managed to draw up something that should satisfy Lord Dagon," he digs around in a drawer, pulls out a sheaf of paper, and sets it in front of you. "Here you go, love. Look it over if you like, then sign down there." He hands you an old fountain pen.

You read carefully. It doesn't contain a lot regarding your deal with Beelzebub; there's something much more intimate about that. This is mostly confirmation of check-in, terms and conditions, et cetera. Still, you're thorough with your examination. You read the packet four times over before you dip the pen in the inkwell.

The dotted line stares at you. There's power in a name. And your name, your sigil, is now false. You cannot sign with your six-winged eye anymore, all three of you know it. No, you have to name yourself again, something true, something that satisfies. Ink drips onto the page.

You clench your teeth, and you draw a new sigil.

---

"You'll want to make a good impression," Beelzebub tells you on the way, "Technically, they're below me, but I still need a majority vote on a lot of things, and they keep this place in business. I had to fight them on letting you stay, so you've got to win them over. Put your best foot forward."

You chew on your lip, and touch the pin they gave you.

"Here's a quick rundown. Dagon's the fish, she's Lord of Files and Master of Torments. She's generally wary of everyone, and she'll probably try to test you somehow, so be ready for that. Ligur's got the chameleon, don't ask me why, I don't know either, and don't be alarmed if it changes colors. He's a Duke of Hell, excellent lurker, usually the least aggressive one. And Hastur's the weirdo, also a Duke. Sometimes he's got a frog on his head, sometimes he doesn't. I don't know. I'm not sure how he'll take to you, since I'm pretty sure you scared him shitless back in the war."

You stack all of this into a neat pile. Dagon's suspicious, Ligur's the safest, Hastur's the wildcard. "Alright."

"Don't be shy," they instruct, stopping you at the door. "Be respectful, but not overly polite or subservient. I'll be right there if you need help."

They give you a little smile, swing open the door, and wave you inside.

"Everyone, here she is. Newest of the Fallen, Demon of the Sixth House, and my apprentice."

Warmth creeps over your face at the introduction, and you clasp your hands together before you can do a little wave or something else equally stupid. Come on, be a demon. Remember what they said.

The Council is exactly as described. Dagon has her elbows resting on the table and a calculating eye you can't hold. Ligur and his chameleon, which is sitting on his head for some reason, nod in greeting. Hastur is currently sans-frog, and poorly hiding how his leg bounces under the table. All three are staring at you expectantly.

"Um. Hi."

You mentally kick yourself. Stupid.

"Hello," Dagon replies, looking at you like you're a mushroom that may or may not be poisonous. When you shake, the strength of her grip makes it very clear that she could drag you down to the Ninth if she wanted. "I'm Dagon. Lord of Files and Master of Torments."

Instead of shaking, Ligur presses a kiss to the back of your hand, which makes you freeze, then gingerly take it back. "Ligur, Duke of Hell. It's a pleasure." His chameleon turns green as you lock eyes with it for a very odd moment. A slight buzz hums from Beelzebub's direction.

"I'm Hastur," is all Hastur says.

You and Beelzebub join the table, them kicking their feet up and you definitely not doing that. A torturously awkward moment passes.

"Well," starts Dagon, "what's the summary?"

Before you can even make the 'please help me' face, Beelzebub rescues you from potentially running your existence into the ground. Furfur, you maybe could've talked to; he seemed alright, and too low on the food chain to get you axed. Dagon? No.

"She's agreed to train under me, like we discussed. There's high potential here, and it's coming out already, actually. She started changing maybe an hour or so ago. Growing horns, looks like," they talk easily, so easily that it has to be fake. "We're going to hone that potential. She'll also assist me with things when she's ready, and I'm expecting help from you all as necessary."

Hastur shifts in his seat. You can't help but agree, gripping the arms of your chair.

Dagon turns to you. "Do you speak?"

You recoil slightly, then frown. "Yes."

"Good," she settles her chin on her hands. "What can you do, then?"

"What?"

Beelzebub jumps in. "Dagon, she's been down here a day, and slept through half of it, you can't expect her to have a handle on---"

"I want to hear her talk herself, Beelzebub. You said she was worth it, so," Dagon fixes you with her hard-cut stare, "Prove it. Why are you here? What makes you so special?"

You blink several times.

Everything that made you special is dead. God gave, and God took away. It's gone, it's done, cut off and closed. You're empty. There's not really much of a point to you anymore, now that you think about it. You're a broken piece in a greater game.

But she's asking you. A rush shoots through your blood. You can lie. It's not like there's any way to fact-check. What's she going to do, call God? God can't hear you down here. You can lie. You just have to do it, now.

You wipe your sweaty palms on your skirt. How do you lie about something like this? And more importantly, how do you get away with it? There has to be a trick to it. There's an answer somewhere. Come on, stupid. Find it.

Maybe you can start with the truth, then spin it, build off of it. That could be easier than making something up. Yes, that could work. You take a deep breath, and put on your best demon face.

"Because I was God's favorite," is what comes out of your mouth. It leaves nothing behind on your tongue, like you didn't say it at all. Like somebody else is the liar, and they're just using your voice as a medium. You force your eyes not to widen, swallow, and keep going. "Everyone thinks it's Gabriel, since he's in charge, but it's me. It was me."

You fist your skirt in your hands, eyes jumping from councilor to councilor. They say nothing.

"She trusted me with the prophets, you know. And I did everything She asked, always. I was nothing but perfect. And you know what it got me?"

The words start to come easier, waterfalling out of you before you can even think about them. Your voice has taken on an unfamiliarly bitter tone. "It got me here. Those bastards upstairs broke me, stapled my eyes shut, and threw me out. I'm here because I fell here, and I'm going to make them regret that."

Dagon gives you a deeply unimpressed look, like you've just given an obviously bullshit powerpoint, and she's about to kick the projector. "That's very nice and all, good sentiment. But what can you do?"

You open your mouth, then close it again.

Under the table, a hand rests on your knee, warm through the gentle roughness of the nylon clinging to your legs. I'm here, it says, keep going. It takes everything you have not to look at them as a second, lying bloodrush courses through your veins, all the way down to your new shoes.

"Nothing yet," you start with the truth again. This time, you imitate Beelzebub as best you can; speaking slowly, winding up intrigue, like you know a secret and you just might be willing to tell. "But if I were to guess, it won't be that way for much longer. God's favorites fall hard. I'm already growing horns, who knows what I could be in a week?"

Vindication tugs at the corner of your lip as Beelzebub squeezes your knee, flushing your body with rose-colored pride. Good job.

You hold your breath as Dagon continues to evaluate you with her narrowed gaze. Her eyes are sharp in the way a syringe is sharp. Calculating, measuring.

Then, she inclines her head, so subtly that it's almost imperceptible.

You've passed the first round by the skin of your teeth.

[duke-of-torment]

What's your opinion on Beelzebub? Are you friends or just colleagues or something more than both of it? ;)

My opinion on lord beelezbub? Well of course I respect zem, they're a brilliant leader and I'd say we're friends, I'm not sure what you mean by more than that. Best friends? Definitely best friends @lower-management they do scare me a little bit sometimes

[duke-of-torment]

Oh do you? So when you choke again it's your fault alright

What do I have in my pocketz? Znackz.

*vague sound of staples coming from their pockets*

[ineffable-administrators-central]

Michael and Dagon get super drunk together. They bitch about Gabriel and Beelzebub respectively. MICHAEL: And they think they’re being so subtle and sneaky! // DAGON: Right?! Beelzebub honestly thinks that we don’t know about how they’re pegging Gabriel every time those two meet up! // MICHAEL: Exactly! And yet Gabriel has the audacity to lecture me whenever I tell him I need to attend to business on Earth! [imitating Gabriel] “Michael, you can’t trust humans or demons, especially not demons!” [rolls her eyes] Ugh, I just want to strangle him sometimes! // DAGON: [stroking Michael’s curls] I love it when you get aggressive. Tell me more, Michael. Tell me everything.

Funny story! In my Au, Michael and Gabriel know about each others’ relationships, but Beelzebub and Dagon do not

At least until Dagon is confronted with the physical evidence of Beelzebub and Gabriel’s relationship, and you’ll know what that is if you’ve read my New Omens au

However these two definitely do get drunk together and shittalk everyone lbr

[beebopboom]

if michael and dagon did end up being together I imagine it’s like they just slowly shift closer together while some big confrontation is happening and they just start talking shit and slowly everyone starts to notice but they are in their own world

until they realize it’s quiet and they stop and look around to see Aziraphale and Gabriel, but especially Aziraphale, having a shit eating grin on their face like “see?” 

[beastsovrevelation]

Maybe, asI think of it I struggle to finish any of my Good Omens smut oneshots because I can't decide which one to focus on. My M/F ones are really Crowley and a female partner, usually Beelzebub or a "Reader"... Honestly, they vary. Cunnilingus, breeding kink, soft dom Crowley, femdom... Whatever.

Then, for the F/F ones, I have a couple of AngelFish WIPs, and a Michael/Muriel one. The Michael/Beelzebub oneshot I'm currently working on will not be smut, just fluff and some light erotica. I have a clear image of what I want for the Michael/Muriel thing, but I'm struggling to put down a coherent scene. For AngelFish, one is Omegaverse, and may turn out a bit intricate, the other one's a silly idea that came to me, basically Michael touches Dagon while wearing her gauntlets... Don't worry, no fingering, just teasing and clitoral stimulation.