#dad!roger' taylor

[tldrthor]

Promises, oceans deep - peter parker x reader

peter parker x f!reader // you said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me // based on the song 'Peter' by Taylor Swift

Summary: the misfortune of being left behind in the blip, and the consequences of aging without him.

Part two <3

tw: mention of bad eating habits/food disorder; insomnia; angst

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The night was cold, dark. The halls of the compound were as empty as they had been since the blip. That's the thing about this place - in it's hayday, it was a wonderful place to live. Laughter and camaraderie filled every corner, every crevice. There was always music, dancing, movies, games, whatever. That was before. Now, the halls were a stark reminder of everything that is lost. Every step echoed in this hollow home.

Forgive me, Peter My lost fearless leader In closets like cedar, Preserved from when we were just kids. Is it something I did?

The glow of the fridge was the only light in the kitchen as you searched for anything to eat. It hadn't even occurred to you to look earlier, when you could do something about the empty shelves. You sighed, taking the milk and setting it on the counter, prepared for another night of cereal for dinner.

"You need to eat better, (y/n)." You jumped at the voice behind you. How, when your steps were so cacophonous, were his so silent? You turned to face him, turning to pick up the blanket that had slipped off your shoulders as you jumped.

Steve. As he turned the light on, he looked tired. The bags beneath his eyes aging him by at least a couple of years at least. You had always considered him to be almost immortal, un-aging. But these past few years, you saw him looking older, much more tired. You weren't really sure if it was a result of the pain of the times, or if he really was biologically aging. The thought of either was too painful to dwell on.

"Yeah? And you need to sleep better, Cap."

He chuckled and shrugged with a small, sad smile on his face. You both knew the other was right, and also knew that neither of your words would make a difference. After two years of your comrades being missing, dead or blipped, the Avengers had stalled. So, each of you, the remainders that is, seemed to have set about to destroy yourselves in a myriad of different ways.

He walked around the counter, taking the milk out of your hands. He opened the top and gave it a whiff, visibly recoiling. "That's so out of date." He poured it down the sink before bumbling around the kitchen, bringing out a pan, some eggs and various herbs and spices. "Sit down, let me make you something substantial."

You followed his orders, knowing that if you told him that you weren't hungry, felt sick, he wouldn't believe you. You knew he had too much on his plate with all the council meetings you had long gave up on. Just tonight, you would give him the win. God knows he needed it.

There was a comfortable silence between the two of you as he crafted up a meal with anything usable he could find in the kitchen, "God, we have to get better at doing food shops." He muttered, mostly to himself.

He broke the silence as he handed you a plate of food, having made on for himself as well. He sat next to you at the kitchen island as you both ate. "So, how's school?"

You almost laughed at the mundane question. You tried to remember the last time you were asked such a question. You missed this, you supposed. The small talk, back when life was normal. Back before Thanos.

"School is... okay." You didn't want to tell him that actually, school was a constant reminder that your boyfriend and two best friends were missing, presumed dead. "It's boring, pointless."

"You graduate this year, right?" He asked.

The question made your bones go cold. You hadn't even thought about it, but yeah. You would be graduating this year. Without them. You swallowed harshly. "Yeah."

He could see the emotions written all over your face and gave your shoulder a squeeze, reassuringly.

You went back to silence.

The goddess of timing, once found us beguiling. She said she was trying, Peter, was she lying? My ribs get the feeling she did.

The day was a blur. You walked up to the stage to receive your diploma, looking out into the crowd. They were sitting in the guests of honour box, being the avengers and all. Natasha and Steve smiled at you and waved, Bruce and Tony cheered while Thor gave you a hearty thumbs up. Rocket sat on his shoulder, looking bored. You wandered across the stage in a fugue state, accepting the scroll and the valedictorian award. The school hadn't asked you to do the speech, which you were grateful for. They knew you never really talked anymore.

As you returned to your seat, the principal called out "And now, we want to take a moment to remember those that we lost..."

When his photo flashed across the screen, you were sure you were going to be sick.

And I didn't wanna come down I thought it was just goodbye for now.

"Good job, kid." Natasha opened her arms and enveloped you in a hug. You returned it, almost desperately. You didn't feel like it was a good job. It was an empty achievement without them.

You both turned to walk back to the parking lot, with Steve putting his arm around you. "What do you want to do to celebrate, bud? You wanna go out to dinner?"

While your heart screamed absolutely not, your head said that they needed the win. "Sure, yeah."

You said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me.

When you moved to college, it was almost a breath of fresh air. You felt bad, leaving Steve, Natasha and Bruce since Tony had left to live with Pepper and Morgan, and Thor had gone to settle the Asgardians into New Asgard. But the silence in the halls of the compound was chest-crushing, and only grew worse by the day.

You heaved your things up the stairs into your dorm. A single one, thank god. Being one of the surviving members of the Avengers really did have its perks sometimes. You struggled to carry things that you probably wouldn't have before, and recently you had noticed that you were so tired. You tried to hide your shaky legs and the sweat on your forehead from Steve and Natasha. But they noticed, and exchanged worried glances behind your back.

Steve obviously insisted on helping everyone else in the parking lot, ever the good samaritan. You and Natasha arranged your room together, putting up posters and decorations and trying to make the space feel homely.

You picked up a picture frame and turned it around. Him.

You said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me. Words from the mouths of babes, promises, oceans deep. But never to keep.

The assignment you were working on was rough, like, really rough. You had been conducting some research and there was just something alluding you. You ended up scrolling through instagram instead, when Steve's contact flashed across the screen. You looked at the time - 2am. Way past Cap's bedtime.

"Hello?"

"(y/n)? Were you asleep?" He asked, worry immediately flooding his voice.

You rolled your eyes. "Yes."

"God, don't... don't lie to me, kid." He sighed. "Either way, you've got to come back to the compound, it's... Scott Lang. You remember the giant guy from Berlin? He's back, we're not really sure how. It might... It might be something."

You breathed out. "What?" You squeezed your eyes closed and breathed for a few seconds. "I'll be there, I've... fuck, I've got an assignment due tomorrow."

You could hear Steve smile at the absurd normalcy of what you had said. "Hey, let's mind our language. I'll get someone to send a letter to your professor to excuse you, I'm sending a quinjet to you now. Be ready."

"Sure thing, old man. See you soon."

"See ya, kid."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From there, things moved quickly. Too quickly. Your life descended into utter chaos from writing papers in college to time travel, other worlds, alien species and infinity stones. Natasha's death.

And then there was the snap. The second one. Bruce screamed in pains as rainbow colours flashed up his arm, a thousand little lightning strikes. Steve stood in front of you, protectively. If this explodes, we're all dead. You thought, rather pessimistically.

As Bruce finally gathered the strength to snap, you were almost shocked to see he survived. Everyone ran forward to check him, Tony cooling the nasty looking burns on his arm, neck and face.

"Clint, your phone." You spoke, but it was perhaps too quiet. "Clint! Answer your phone!" You shouted, getting everyone's attention. It was the first time you had spoken in a long time, never mind shouted.

It was Laura. Oh my god. It was Laura.

Scott looked out of the windows, admiring the birds. There were so many more birds. He spun around and laughed.

And that's when it hit. You weren't even sure what it was, but then you were falling through the air. Your surroundings were crumbling and it all happened so fast you couldn't even react. Steve grabbed a hold of your arm and drew you to their chest, protecting you as you tumbled.

As you collided, your mind swarmed with so many thoughts. What the hell had happened, and was Peter back?

The battle raged. You didn't even know if everyone was out of the rubble. The battlefield was the now ruins of the only real home you had ever known. You lined up with Cap, and the others. And stared down what you were almost certain would be your death.

As the alien army marched closer, Steve turned to you. "You should run, (y/n). You have your whole life ahead of you."

You smiled, almost sadly, at him. "Cap, I don't think there is a life after this." He sighed, knowing that it was no use. You had been raised better than to abandon your family, and he knew that it was his fault. He couldn't save you.

Suddenly, sorcerer circles opened behind you and the ones you had lost came pouring in. Including him.

Are you still a mind reader? A natural scene stealer. I've heard great things, Peter. But life was always easier on you, than it was on me.

There was little time for rejoice as the army advanced towards you.

"Avengers!" Steve called. "...assemble."

And with that, you were running. You watched as spider-man flitted in and out of the hordes, doing his bit. You ran towards him, and held no mercy for any rogue soldier who dared to come near you and him. The others protected him too, and you were glad of it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The battle was won but Tony was lost. You stared as Pepper cried by Tony's body, his eyes open, his body and face badly burned from the impact of the stones. There was a circle of Avengers around him. Just staring. No one knowing what to do, or say.

Peter. Your Peter. Collapsed into a heap near him, his emotions taking over. It was instinctual, the way you ran to him.

"Hey," You whispered, gathering him up into your arms. "I've got you. He's resting now. He saved us." You tried throwing every phrase people had ever thrown at you, at Peter. You knew it all meant nothing to him.

You looked down at his face, and horror crossed your face as you realised how much older than him you were now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve watched his youngest team members in the puddle on the ground, the kid who had given him a run for his money in Germany, and the girl he had raised these past few years. He watched as your heart broke, and Peter couldn't even see it. He knew exactly what was going though, watching the now 21-year-old you holding a still 16-year-old Peter.

As emergency services and the military started to pull into what used to be the Avengers Compound, he knew there had to be a co-ordinated effort to resolve the tragedies they had just witnessed.

He walked over to you both and whispered softly, "Come on, kids, there's work to be done."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And sometimes it gets me, when crossing your jetstream, We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon but in different galaxies.

"(y/n)." You didn't hear him say your name until that night. Well, the next morning, you suppose. You didn't even know what time it was.

Your face softened as you saw him. After the compound was destroyed, Clint was kind enough to bring you all to his house with Laura and the children, just until something more permanent was sorted out. It had been a couple of weeks now, and you had barely exchanged a word with anyone.

"Hi, Pete." You breathed out. He looked at your face, intently. Like he was searching for something he recognised, and couldn't find it. "How... how are you?"

"I'm alright. Um... yeah. Doing okay."

"Good, good." You hummed, sipping your cup of tea.

There was a moment of silence as the two of you looked out over the farm.

He cleared his throat. "(y/n), can we talk? I..." He faltered. "I miss you."

You looked at him, a little panicked, you'll admit. You didn't even know where to begin thinking about how to go about moving on with your relationship with Peter. You had been together for a year... but that was five years ago. That's not even considering that fact that he was still in high school and you were now of drinking age, at college. Shit, you still hadn't done that assignment.

"Peter, I..." His puppy eyes made your heart break. "I'm an adult now... it's been five years for me, and I... I changed a lot, in that time."

"Right, yeah." Tears swelled to his eyes. "You're right, yeah." You knew he was putting on a brave face.

"I'm sorry, Peter. For now, we have to go our separate ways, I think." Tears crashed down his cheeks, but he never broke eye contact with you. "I... I have to go back to college, and I won't see you for a while."

And I didn't want to hang around... We said it was just goodbye, for now

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! I'm really new to posting on this blog, so any likes and reblogs are so appreciated! <3

[plumspider]

I tried to update my like intro/bio thingy a bit since I haven’t posted in a while but here’s the more important part I think:

I don’t rlly post a lot anymore but I want to get back into tumblr so I’m tryinggg

stuff about things I’ll be posting, probably a lot of deep stuff because a lot has gone on in my life (mainly friendship stuff that could probably also be considered relationship stuff, emotional things, questions that I ask myself and stuff like that).

Alsoooo I LOVE music atm. Like I am constantly listening to music. I haven’t binged a tv show or watched movies in a while but I still love them and want to get back into them. I’m watching the office rn!

Umm I think that’s it but I need to remember to keep doing things on tumblr because I actually loved it but I moved onto instagram which I’m kinda obsessed with rn.

[queenfan221b]

Interviewer for Bohrap: So how many children do you two have?

Brian:Well depends

Roger: Yeah biologically,legally or emotionally be there eis a big diffrence

[popstarpicmixes]

😳I've fallen in love for the first time, and this time I know it's for real 🥵

[stesichoreanpalinode]

The sexy dad waist coats

I hear you anon, I hear you. I don’t have that #hottest of hot dads tag for nothing, you know

[spacefactsandpunksongs]

[fellow-nerd]

Just saw the Queen Montreal Concert in IMAX and I have so many thoughts.

First off I sat in the back so the sound was loud and blarring really giving that concert vibe.

Second the cinematography really makes you feel like ur in the moment. Watching a piece of history that you so desperately wanted to be a part of.

I never got the chance to see queen live, tickets were so expensive for the one last year and I'm literally 17, but still this band that started 50 years ago has carved a way into my heart and my soul.

Third, every song sounded different to how it does on the studio albums. WHICH WAS INCREDIBLE! The extra solos and ad libs really made it so captivating.

Also let's have a moment of silence for that mic stand and all the other members of queen... freddie was really all up on them 😅 (which is to be expected tbh)

Also also the last ad that played before it started was for Amazon prime and it showed a clip of good omens which was so fitting.

I could go on and on about all the little things each member did (John's dancing, Freddie running across the stage and throwing jabs at the other members, Roger's fave while he drums, and Brian posing like a vogue model as he plays guitar.) But you just have to watch it urself to really get it.

Overall it was an incredible experience and I'm so glad I was able to get a glimpse into what queen live was like.

[ivanhoe-dont-do-it]

Does anyone have a phrase they use often that they’re like fairly certain they invented? Lmk in the tags, for example when things are worse in hindsight I say “that aged like a fine wine in a hot car” and I just think there are more hidden gems like this out there

[peppercheeni]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRGeve3j/

[billboard-hotties-tourney]

David Byrne (1952-) Talking Heads - lead vocals and guitar Songs: "The Book I Read," "Heaven" Propaganda: "Autism"

Roger Taylor (1949-) Queen - drums Songs: "I'm in Love With My Car," "More of That Jazz" Propaganda: "Unearthly child, beautiful youth, rocker with a (usually) impeccable sense of style, hot dad, silver fox, sexy santa: this man has been sizzling hot for decades. Even his fellow rock stars are mesmerised by how hot he is, especially when dragged up in videos. Super hot." "His falsetto at the start of 'In the Lap of the Gods.' The messy blond hair. His chemistry with Freddie Mercury."

Visual Propaganda for Roger Taylor:

[the-hottest-band-tournament]

Round 8 of The Hottest 80s Band Tournament

Guns N’Roses 

Defeated opponents: ZZ Top, Pantera, A-Ha, The Go Go’s, Fleetwood Mac, Mötley Crüe, Hanoi Rocks

Formed in: 1985

Genres: Hard rock 

Lineup: Axl Rose- vocals 

Slash- lead guitar

Izzy Stradlin- rhythmic guitar

Duff McKagan- bass

Steven Adler- drums 

Albums from the 80s: 

Appetite for destruction (1987)

G N’ R Lies (1988)

Propaganda: “The sluttiest a man can do is be in the Guns’N Roses’s original lineup” 

“Watch this video and tell me slash doesn't have pretty boy babygirl swag”

“Whoo! Time for more Guns N’ Roses propaganda (and by that I mean an excuse to gush about Steven Adler, one of my favorite drummers/people ever)

First off, look at him. This is, and so cannot stress this enough, one of the cutest people I’ve ever seen. Ever. Look at him! (And also, he’s a drummer so he’s fun-size - he is 5’7 at most and at least some of you reading could pick him up)

And he’s one of the greatest and most fun drummers to ever live. I’ve heard maybe 3 other drummers who are as fun to listen to and who have as good of a feel for matching the actual emotion of a song (harder to explain with drumming, but even though they’re both love songs, wouldn’t do the same solos for Patience and Sweet Child o Mine - it’s the same deal here). The demo for Back Off Bitch runs laps around the full version and half of that is because of him.

Izzy Stradlin himself has said that he gave early Guns N’ Roses their feel and that things got weird and “nothing worked” without him (I swear to god that’s a direct quote). You know how hard it is to get a guitarist or singer to recognize and actually admit that? And he’s never made a bad song or sounded boring, and that���s really rare for 80s-era hard rock drummers. Even Tommy Lee’s had his weird songs and I can’t say the same here.

And some bonus propaganda before I write another five paragraphs”

Queen

Defeated opponents: Green Day, Earth, Wind & Fire, The Psychedelic Furs, R.E.M., Duran Duran, INXS, Depeche Mode

Formed in: 1970

Genres: rock, glam-rock, hard rock, pop-rock, pop, disco

Lineup: Freddie Mercury- vocals 

Brian May- guitar 

John Deacon- bass 

Roger Taylor- drums 

Albums from the 80s: 

The Game (1980)

Hot Space (1982)

Flash Gordon (1982)

The Works (1984)

A Kind Of Magic (1986)

The Miracle (1989)

Propaganda: “HAVE YOU SEEEEN THEMMMM???? these men never lost their looks as they aged. smoking hot 20 somethings to smoking hot 40 somethings. in their own words, "we was glam" and "we were all stunning". all four had impeccable style choices 99% of the time, from leather jackets and wraps to monochrome to undone blazers and ties to brightly coloured /everything/. Deacon changed his hair style every few years and even in just tshirts and booty shorts, never missed. Roger had a sleazy mullet and sunglasses for what felt like forever, hot Persian dad, did not miss. Brian forgot how to fully button shirts. bell bottoms. same hair for 50 years. no misses. even after Freddie got sick and started wearing makeup and had to grow a beard to cover up, MAN NEVER FUCKIN MISSED. he was beautiful to the day he died. and thats not even touching on the leather daddy look from the early 80s.king shit. we love wrinkles and laugh lines in this gd house. if they don't sweep I’m blowing this whole website up we was glam”

“a few years back i was obsessed with these guys and i would find it hard to not have a crush on all of them. in the 80s especially Brian was GORGEOUS.. BEAUTIFUL”

Visual propaganda for Guns N’Roses:

Additional propaganda here and here

Visual propaganda for Queen:

[freddiemercurylegendabovelegends]

Today - June 27th, 1970 - Queen Story!

The first Queen gig: Truro, City Hall, UK, with Mike Grose on bass

🔸What must it be like to brag that you were at rock gods Queen’s first ever performance? Well, quite a few people in Cornwall can, because on this very date – June 27 – in 1970 popular rockers-on-the-rise Smile played their first gig with a new line-up and a new name, Queen, at Truro City Hall, which later became the Hall For Cornwall.

Truro boy Roger Taylor told Cornwall Live: “That was actually arranged by my mother in aid of the Red Cross. We were paid £50, which was quite a lot of money back then. I’m not sure many people turned up though.”

Roger’s mum Win had placed two adverts in The West Briton newspaper on the run-up to the gig, still in the name of Smile. However, the band had already decided to play under the new name Queen – eyebrow-raising for the time.

She recalled Freddie explaining the new name at her Truro bungalow: "He just kept saying how regal it sounded.”

Sue Johnstone, a friend of the band from Truro, remembered: “We would hitch a lift back to Cornwall from the start of the M4, and on one of these occasions Freddie walked us to the bus stop and said ‘what do you think of the name Queen?’

"We thought it was hilarious because he was always so camp. And we just laughed and thought of the gay connotation immediately, but he tried to make it more acceptable by persuading us that it was ‘regal’.”

The first Queen gig: Truro City Hall, June 27, 1970

With Fred, still known as Bulsara, and bassist Mike Grose – a Truro regular at the Smile shows at PJ’s – on board, Queen was born.

The new band intended to concentrate on its own material. Mike recalled rehearsing tracks from the first album, as well as 'Father to Son' from 'Queen II' and 'Stone Cold Crazy' from 'Sheer Heart Attack' from day one.

In preparation for the first Queen concert, Freddie stayed at the Johnstone sisters’ house at Truro’s Rosedale.

Sue said: “He stayed in our attic room and Freddie would stand on his head with his legs crossed doing yoga against the wall. He had long hair and would use our heating tongs to curl his hair in the way he wanted. And my dad was completely taken aback and initially thought they were all a bit weird.”

However, Freddie and Sue’s father soon became the best of mates when Mr Mercury-to-be and his friends dug up the garden, filled it full of flowers and sorted out the lawn.

Sue Johnstone said of that debut concert and other early Queen shows: “Freddie would get up on the stage and strut his stuff like he’d been doing it all his life. He was well prepared. He didn’t just get up and sing, he got up and performed from day one. I loved Tim's voice, but he wasn't the same as Freddie as a performer"

By Lee Trewhela - June 27th, 2018

👉 Full Article 👇

https://www.cornwalllive.com/whats-on/music-nightlife/queen-played-first-concert-cornwall-1720494

Pic: Queen in 1970, on the left Mike Grose, Queen's first bassist (dies in 2019)

📸 Photographer © Doug Puddifoot

[s0uth3park]

I like the idea, even if it’s not all that canon, of Randy just being anyone, a bit like Roger from American Dad. Like the Lorde arc dialled up to a million, to the point where Stan stops being shocked and is moreso just annoyed.

Taylor Swift? Oh yeah that’s Randy. Justin Timberlake? Randy. Margo Martindale? Yup. The Prime Minister of Canada? You bet. Hatsune Miku? Well.

I also like to think there’s chances for them to have a “I’ve been there all along” moment just like Humpty Dumpty from Puss In Boots and is revealed to be a background character or recurring character he’s hardly or has never been seen alongside in an effort to keep tabs on the kids, or something.

[rocknbolan]

Rock Recap 6-27 into 6-28

If forced to choose a favorite guitarist, Ozzy would go with Tony Iommi. It's all in the fingers. He's also fine with being a simp for his wife, Sharon. This is too wholesome from our metal dad.

Paul from The Beatles and Brian from Queen both agree age is only really quantifiable by how your joints hurt at a given moment.

Scotti from Skid Row and Razzle from Hanoi Rocks are insomniacs apparently. Scotti apparently has also figured Rachel out.

Roger Taylor of Queen has an interesting question to pose to other rockers: Is eating a placenta considered cannibalism?

Sebastian of Skid Row accidentally hurt Scotti's feelings.

Lars of Metallica cooking up some weird ass cookies in the likeness of James. And yes, he is still a vampire who hates the sun.

The Beatles encountered a spider of terrifying proportions. George to the rescue!

Roger from Queen learned what car smut is, thanks to Lars.

Krist from Nirvana and Melissa from Hole are both enamored with their newly adopted daughter. As they should be. Hella cute kid.

Marty and Nick began shaving their heads? With Marty taking a bit too much off the top of Nick's. Dave is naturally horrified. Nail biting tension there.

Gwen Stephani @gwenstefoubt has joined the chat!

Kathleen Hanna @bikinikillhanna has joined the chat!

Pamela Anderson @iampamelaanderson has joined the chat!

And now, the weather.

Overnight freakiness was forecasted between Sebastian of Skid Row and Axl of GnR, with a side of rainy regret over never purchasing short shorts to lure Rachel with.

Freakiness continues with Ace from KISS having a thing for Eric's 800Bs

Stormy relations between Slash of Guns 'n' Roses and Nikki of Motley Crue.

Chance of Severe Bitiness from Scotti of Skid Row predicted overnight, into the morning, with chances continuing through the week.

Paul of The Beatles can't seem to get out from under rain clouds.

[americas-ass-writing]

Invisible

Steve Rogers x avenger!reader (-ish)

Words: 2.2k

Summary: The newest member of the avengers feels invisible. A shitty mission and social media brings her to her breaking point. See what happens when she confronts the team.

Warnings: angst, mentions of death (briefly)

A/N: not me dipping for like two years and returning. Sorry it took me so long, I'll try to write more often now. Hope you enjoy this little one shot that was caused by me feeling invisible.

Another mission successfully completed. It's your fifth mission as an Avenger and you couldn't be happier that it's over.

Two weeks, two exhausting weeks with Hydra finding their single brain cell and not being predictable this time. But it's over now, you can return home to the tower and spend time with... no one.

The Avengers were nice, they really were. Welcoming you with open arms, always striking up conversation when you were around but you couldn't miss that no one ever asked you to spend time with them besides the team activities. They didn't mean it, you're sure of that but you can't stop the pang in your heart when Wanda and Nat make shopping plans right in front of you and don't invite you. Or when Steve and Bucky plan a little day trip and think of inviting Sam to come along but not you who was sitting right next to him on the couch.

More than once the delivery person forgot your food. Steve was always nice enough to share one of his three portions with you but not even the delivery person struck you as important enough to remember your order.

You find yourself in the hallway after the debrief. Everyone was tired, exhausted and done. Your eyes flicker over the little friend groups building to walk back to the common area together. Clint who has been shot hanging off Natasha's shoulder, laughing at something she said. Sam and Bucky bickering with Steve walking between them like an over exhausted dad. Tony and Bruce talking big ideas to improve suits, weapons and the team. Wanda and Vision lost in each other, holding hands. And then there was you. Standing in the hallway, surrounded by people, watching and still feeling utterly alone. Agents flutter around you, not even giving you a glance. Sometimes you just feel so invisible... So unimportant. Like you shouldn't even be a member of this team.

Tired feet carry you to your room, you take the route that's longer but it avoids the common area. Your heart can only take so much. And all you need right now is a hot shower, your bed and mindless scrolling through social media. You're not even in the mood to eat lunch. At least not in the common room. The stash of protein bars under your bed will have to do.

So you take a long warm shower, letting the water run over your body while Taylor Swift's voice fills the room alongside the humidity that lets the mirror fog. You dry yourself, slip into comfy pyjamas and soon enough your head meets your pillow. You breathe in the scent of home and crawl under the comforter. Finally your hand reaches for your phone. You've been gone for a while, you probably missed some things. Your phone starts up slowly and some notifications come through. You have missed emails -most of them newsletters-, a few notifications of Instagram -celebrities and acquaintances posting things- and no one reaching out to you personally. Your eyes fall shut for a moment as your heart breaks a little more. You really thought you're a decent human being... Why did no one like you? Why did no one think of you?

Your thumb hovers over the Instagram icon, trying to decide if you should open the app. With a sigh you open it, a little mindless scrolling could do no harm. Right?

Wrong. Somehow you land on the official avengers account. Your eyes scanning the pictures. There has been one new post while you were gone - a picture of the team minus you. Wasn't your portrait supposed to be posted to announce you as a new member? Maybe they had to push it back... Or maybe they didn't want you on the account. Would explain why you're the one who's cropped out of the group picture. The caption mentions something about the team answering questions soon and telling people to comment what they always wanted to know. You know that Instagram comment sections are a different kind of world. One that can be really positive or just down right toxic. Yet you still click into it, curious what questions you'd find.

Some of them ask for Natasha's makeup routine, a lot ask for Steve to finally post a shirtless picture on his account, some ask why Bucky always looks so grumpy. There's genuinely nice questions asking for self defense tips or if they can come to schools to visit kids. And then there's the comments that are just plain rude, insulting about any member of the team. And then there's this one...

Cropped the new girl out already huh? Knew that ugly incompetent chick wasn't made for this team. Good riddance.

No matter how hard you tried you couldn't tear your eyes off it. Your pupils scan over the words again and again and again. Till hot tears spilled. Till you completely lost it as an ugly sob tore through you. You weren't good enough for this team, for your family, for your friends, for anyone or anything in this world. You were invisible and you always would be.

Logically you knew that keeping all of this in and being exhausted by the two week long mission was causing this break down. If you would have told someone you felt this way, things would be different. But your emotions got the better of you. Which is how you found yourself on a very determined march to the common area. Jammies on, your phone clutched in your hand, tears streaming down your hardened face. Your brain didn't even process your way here, you just suddenly found yourself in front of the avengers who were eating dinner - without you. You're met with some concerned faces but before anyone can say anything your words cut the thick air.

"I quit." You say, voice wobblier than you intended. The lump in your throat growing by the second. "What? Y/N what brought this on? I know the mission was hard but..." before a very concerned Steve could finish his sentence you cut him off. "This isn't about the fucking mission, Rogers." Your voice is full of venom. "This is about... You know what this is about this" you wave your hand around the room. Gazes turn to confusion. "And this!" You shove your phone into Steve's face, the group picture you've been cropped out of on the display.

"A picture of us? I don't... Understand..." Steve breaks the silence after a moment. "A picture of you. You guys and oh would you look at that... A little bit of my sleeve over there." You point out. "I've been cropped out." You explain further.

"Alright firecracker you know we're not responsible for the account. That's the social teams doing." Tony jumps in. "Yeah. Yeah you're right. You know what's your doing though?" You say as you retract your phone out of Steve's face. You slide it in your pocket and take a steadying breath. "Not inviting me to join activities, not telling the fucking delivery guy that maybe, just maybe there's a new member on the team after he forgot my food for the third fucking time in a row. Skipping my turn to pick a god damn movie because you all forgot to tell me you're doing an improv movie night. Walking back from a debrief in your little groups, none of you even thinking of just waiting a second so I can at least walk with someone. Oh and this. You're having dinner, the team, and who wasn't here until she stormed in? Me." You didn't realise that your voice got louder, the frustration got the better of you. "And it's not just this. No one thinks I belong here. No one in the comments of that post, not the press... Hell, even Friday still calls me recruit. If you don't want a new member on the team just say so. I'll leave. You'll never see me again. I'll turn invisible like I always feel... Like I am." you add quietly now, not even sure if anyone but you heard it. The lump in your throat is impossibly thick and finally it completed its mission and tore another sob from you. It hurts. It hurts to not belong. It hurts to be invisible. There's a short silence before the scraping of a chair on the floor fills the air. Mere seconds later you're wrapped up in strong arms, pulling you into a much needed hug. A large hand rubs your back.

"This is... We don't want you to leave. We... I never noticed we did that... You're just... It has been so long since we added a new member... This is a bullshit excuse I know. I'm sorry." Steve mumbles into your hair. His warmth seeps into your body as your tears wet his shirt. "Why didn't you tell us earlier? You know you can always come to me to talk" he adds softly after a moment. You let out a shaky breath. And another... And another, trying to find your voice after this pathetic performance. "I..." you croak out and immediately stop. Steve's hand rubs up and down your back.

"I felt the same way." The voice of Wanda pulls your face out of Steve's chest, your watery eyes finding hers. "I joined the team after my brother died. I've always been with him. I never felt alone but... Then I did. And believe me they don't do it on purpose. They have their little groups inside of this big one and they don't immediately think about including someone new. I'm sorry that I didn't think about it." She says softly. "I always felt alone in the beginning, I never got invited to go places, the press tore me apart because this random European with weird powers was suddenly a member of the earth's mightiest heroes, the social team didn't post my introduction portrait... I also wanted to quit but... then they organised a dinner with Paprikash... They made it for me because they thought I was homesick... and I realised that they do care about me. And I promise you, we do care about you. Steve made sure to tell the restaurant twice to not forget your order today." She points to the unopened container. "And when Nat wanted to get you for dinner she heard that you were showering and then we assumed you just needed some time for yourself."

Your eyes wander over the concerned faces of the team, then back to Wanda, then to the container of food, then finally to Steve. "You told them to remember my food?" You whisper. He nods immediately.

"Not because I don't like to share mine! Because I thought you'd like yours more and it happened three times already and I..." He gets cut off as you hug him back with a bit too much force. "Thank you" you whisper before you let him go and look at the team. "I'm sorry for the outburst... I... should have said something earlier but I… I felt so invisible and it's not like many people care about me in general and then I read some comments under the post and I... My brain shut off." You look down at your bare feet, not brave enough to face any of them.

"Friday? Please call Y/N firecracker from now on." Tony was the first to speak and as you looked at him in surprise he just gave you a smirk before going back to his food. Other team members give you smiles, small nods, Clint even signs that it's all good to you.

Steve's warm hand finds the small of your back and leads you to the table, to your unassigned spot right next to him. Both of you sit down and you open your food, your heart fills as you see your order. Low chatter fills the room as you eat. Wanda invites you to go shopping the next day, Sam invites you to mario kart after dinner. You feel stupid, oh so stupid. You should have just said something earlier. This all could have been avoided.

"I know why your portrait didn't get posted yet." You frown as you look at Bucky who simply smiles. "Stevie here…" his hand falls on the shoulder of his friend. Steve's eyes fill with dread, his ears turn pink. "...knows that you weren't happy with it. So he told the social team to hold off posting it until he can sketch a new portrait of you." His lips are parted in a shit eating grin. Steve is blushing madly, trying to hide it by staring at the tabletop. His fists clenching.

"You... Want to draw a portrait of me?" You ask softly, looking at the blonde next to you. After a few seconds he simply nods, his eyes still fixed on the table. "Because I didn't like the one the photographer took?" your lips pull into a small smile as he gives you another nod. "Why would you do that?" you ask softly.

"Because he has a big fat..." Bucky starts but is quickly interrupted by a death glare of his blonde friend. The former assassin gets out of his seat and proceeds to put some distance between the two super soldiers, Steve's eyes follow him with the same warning glance.

"...crush on you." Bucky finishes and immediately takes off running. Steve's chair falls to the floor as he jumps up to run after him. Your eyes follow the two of them, Bucky's snickers and Steve's curses filling the air.

Maybe... Just maybe you weren't invisible after all.

And you knew you weren't when Steve found you later that night with the sketch of you in his hand and a confession on his lips.