#cynicalcephalopod

[chainsxwsmile]

I’m unadulteratedly amused by @cynicalcephalopod’s Squidward defending twenty-foot long Bruce from being used a doormat by other fish!

Since I constantly fail at correctly capturing the Spongebob style, I decided to try Squidward in Finding Nemo style, instead!

[jabbers-wild-world]

@cynicalcephalopod

The one thing about being a vicious and predatory demon of the sea, it meant that Aurelio was constantly hunting for anything to eat. As human as he may look, he was far from it. A pleasant smile hid a mouth full of shark-like teeth, his long golden blond hair seeming to glimmer just the same as all the shiny jewelry he liked to decorate himself in. After all, fish were often so drawn in by anything that glittered.

And while his body may have matched the shape of humans, that was the extent of it. Between his fingers and toes lay delicate webbing, and his long pointed ears and sharp claws were nothing that humans possessed. And he almost seemed to shift and undulate through the water more like an eel than a man, so- There! Movement caught his eye, and the sea demon was quick to lock on to that target. He preferred the shallows to hunt in, since it gave him access to both man and sea life to feast upon, not to mention that it allowed him to avoid even larger predators who would easily devour the demon, and now was a perfect opportunity.

[iiwenttocollege]

@cynicalcephalopod "tired of this stupid theme song" solidarity

[hexadacttyly]

@cynicalcephalopod​

Thankfully one of the inhabitants of this dimension has given him a fish bowl to wear over his head. A squirrel who chooses to live underwater to be precise. Very strange. But now, he can breathe successfully.

Still- he is yet to become numb to the novelty of this place. Its like scuba diving in a part of the ocean that’s been contaminated by nuclear testing. The sea creatures are more like living abominations of their Earth counterparts and simple laws of physics do not seem to apply- earlier he saw a fish light a fire underwater. Concerning.

Having only really spoken to the squirrel, Sandy, Ford is curious to see if any of the marine creatures could communicate with him. The first creature he notices on this side of the road (they have roads too?) is a blue cephalopod. He clears his throat. ‘Excuse me!’

[encchants-moved]

@cynicalcephalopod​ |  liked.

    “Squilliam must pay those fishes a large amout of money to be around his irritating self, am i right?”

[cynicalcephalopod]

This guy was indubitably no King Neptune. To compare the two would be something of utter idiocy. ❛ Listen, Freezerburn! You can’t just come here willy-nilly and do what you want! ❜ Squidward was straight to it! Determined to put this smarmy monarch in his place. ❛ I mean! LOOK at what you’ve done to my beloved kelp garden! ❜ His words are laced with an element of distress. He had spent all morning clipping that, all year nurturing them before this moronic, ice-themed King came along. How things could freeze underwater was a test to logic but for Bikini Bottom denizens this along with fire was unquestionable. It had always been possible.

❛ I was enjoying a summery Sunday before you came along! I’ll have you know I’m lucky to even have one Sunday in a single month off! ❜ He scorns. Now the climate was like winter.

/ @icymagic​​ 𝅘𝅥𝅮

[huntressthewizard]

@cynicalcephalopod​

🍃🏹➳ “So like, what kind of meat is in the krab-nugget meal?” The leafy-haired mermaid asked, side-eyeing the menu. She thought asking for shrimp would have been a safe bet, since the cashier was an octopus, but then she just saw one come out of the bathroom. Crab obviously wasn’t on the menu either, unless the owner was doing some shady business with his own kind.

       Sea-creature worlds were weird, it was hard to tell what fish were appropriate to eat and which were considered people or pets.

[skewed-logic]

@cynicalcephalopod​ said: 'Just what are you plotting, copepod?'

“Oh, so a guy can’t buy a 50 gallon drum of industrial-grade peanut butter, six pounds of hand-made lilac soap, and a pair of tap-dancing shoes without being up to something, huh?”

“Maybe I just wanna make some really weird sandwiches!? You ever think of that?”

[raedruum]

    interesting, an octopus.  jade wasn’t going to say anything, though, she’d seen weirder shit.      ❝ so, um, you come here a lot? ❞

@cynicalcephalopod​ liked.

[mrgrnch]

* @cynicalcephalopod​​ said : ❄️ for our muses to be caught indoors due to a snowstorm holiday starters

          the  cold  snakes  throughout  the  Grinch’s  bones  ,    even  after  he’s  painstakingly  slammed  the  front  door  shut  ,    his  back  shivering  against  the  wooden  red.      the  wind  blew  hard  against  the  door  ,    rattling  it  with  great  force  but  not  enough  to  knock  it  over.      the  Grinch  had  built  this  door  an  its  locks  specifically  to  avoid  that  mess ——— since  waking  up  and  having  to  shovel  mountains  of  snow  off  your  doormat  and  out  your  doorway  isn’t  the  greatest  way  to  spend  one’s  winter.      after  the  initial  shock  of  the  monster  of  a  storm  outside  subsides  ,    he  lets  out  a  heavy  sigh  ,    lifting  himself  off  the  painted  and  chipped  wood  with  a  grouchy  expression  replacing  the  horrified  one.      he  gulps  with  difficulty  ,    the  dryness  of  his  throat  a  bother.

       ❛    what  on  earth  were  you  even  doing  all  the  way  out  there  ?   ❜       he  begins  to  gripe  ,    staring  at  the  stranger  he’d  let  in  out  of  pity  ,    and  a  bit  of  understanding.      the  Grinch  drags  his  fingers  over  his  eyes  and  pinches  the  bridge  of  his  nose.        ❛    i  guess  you  didn’t  bother  to  check  the  weather  today  before  venturing  the  mountains  ,     ❜        he  ridicules  ,    under  his  breath.      with  a  shake  of  his  head  ,    the  Grinch  looks  up  at  the  other  ,    a  peculiar  looking  thing.      he  was  shivering.      not  a  surprise.      his  lips  press  to  a  tight  line  as  he  thought ——— then  he  began  to  walk  down  the  entry  hall’s  carpet  ,    past  the  other  and  gesturing  with  a  hand  for  him  to  follow.       ❛    come  on  ,    i’ll  make  you  something  to  warm  up.      coffee  or  hot  chocolate  ?    ❜

[fishingformoncy-blog]

// It's true! You're Mr. Krabs is so on point! I love you and Rick, @youwillobcy. you guys are literally an inspiration! Top tier blogs!

$$$ IS MY KRABS CANONICAL?  |  accepting!

@youwillobcy

listen no matter what i think of myself, rick really is an amazing plankton. i talked to him the other day about how accurate he is and how i’m really upset my blog’s getting more attention than his. not that i don’t think my krabs is necessarily disgusting or awful – i just have a handful of insecurities right now. but rick’s plankton is just??? i couldn’t ask for a better friend, a better rp partner, as well as a better plankton. 

he follows canon and we share all of our headcanons and he??? cares so much about being accurate and cares for his character so it’s really… nice… .

but really, really thank you! i get really scared even if it’s just the first week or so. like i’m not doing his dialogue right or maybe i’m making him too nice??? so thank you a lot.

[iiwenttocollege]

❝ Funny, I’m sensing some unrecognized talent here. ❞

❝ OH, YEAH. THAT’S ME. ❞

[bananabraiined]

@cynicalcephalopod is now following you.

Well, this is a new one. DK is lounging at the beach of his home when suddenly....A sea creature has arrived! Is it a friend or foe? There’s only one way to find out.....

“Yes? Can I help you?”

[gentletwin]

' Alright, it's not the end of the world, kid. It's not great but not the end of the world.'

I liked an inbox call forever ago and am just now getting to it

◣ ❀ ✿ ❀ ◥ ;

Right. Not the end of the world. Everything will be okay! At least right now he seems to have ended up somewhere safe, and, you know, not on a remote island with no supplies and only some sketchy-looking mushrooms to maybe restore his strength. But that’s just a hypothetical.

Deep breaths, Lucas, deep breaths. What’s the last thing he remembers? He thinks he saw the Dragon wake up, and then...and then...

❝ Phew, okay...um, sorry to bother you, mister, I’m just tryin’ to figure out what’s goin’ on...so, where am I? ❞

[xaallo]

'I'm not dinner! I'm a sophisticated cephalopod!'

He thought this one looked odd, but an ambush predator could only get so close before he leapt out. Upon seeing the animal was in fact a being, he immediately released them. Luckily for squidward, eating other sentient beings was taboo in his society.

[huntressthewizard]

 @cynicalcephalopod​  said:

'Hey! Watch where you're pointing that thing!'

🍃🏹➳ “I know enough about harpoon-gun safety, man, don’t trip,” the leafy-haired mermaid piped back, but did heed his words for his own comfort and kept the barrel clear-enough away from him.

         “Where did you say you last saw this saltwater crocodile, again?”