#cw: death ment

[tangledinink]

hey. do you remember when we were six, and you walked me to the nurse's office when i fell and skinned my knee? do you remember when we were twenty-three, and i called you paramedics because you overdosed on xanax?

do you remember when we were four, and you held my hand at the ballpark when i was afraid we'd get split up? do you remember when we were eighteen and i left home and never came back?

do you remember when we were eleven, and i beat you at that car racing game that you liked so much for the first time ever, and you were devastated?

hey. do you remember when i was twenty-five, and i got the call from mom?

[oozebrain]

Art hugging you so tight that your spine snaps in half and you’re finally free from your mortal flesh prison 🖤🖤🖤

[moomeecore]

me watching my stupid annoying neighbor stand on his lawn and use his leaf blower on like 3 leaves for 2 hours somehow: DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS ABOUT HOW LONGTERM EXPOSURE TO THE MECHANICAL VIBRATIONS FROM LAWN MACHINE OPERATION CAN CAUSE VASCULAR DAMAGE, BLOOD VESSEL DAMAGE, NERVE DAMAGE AND CARPEL TUNNEL SYNDROME AND THAT LEAF BLOWERS ARE THE WORST CULPRIT IN THIS RESPECT.

me watching a neighbor who i know has young children mow his lawn: DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS THAT LAWN MOWERS ARE EXTREMLEY UNDERREGULATED IN SAFTEY MEASURES AND CONSIDERED TO ACTUALLY BE HIGH RISK MACHENERY. DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS THAT THEY CAN EASILY BE LETHAL. DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS THAT IF YOU SEARCH LAWN ON THE NATIONAL LIBRARY OF MEDECINES CENTER FOR BIOTECHNOLOGY INFORMATION THAT YOU GET 434 PAGES OF RESULTS, MOST OF WHICH ARE REPORTS ON INJURIES CAUSED BY LAWN EQUIPMENT, MOST OF WHICH ARE SUSTAINED BY CHILDREN. AGAIN, MANY OF WHICH ARE LETHAL.

me watching some guy use a ride along mower on his giant ass front lawn thats on a huge slope: DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS RIDING MOWERS ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS LAWN MOWER, AND ALSO THE TYPE WITH THE LEAST AMOUNT OF REGULATION (DUE TO A VERY CONFUSING SAGA OF EVENTS). DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS ABOUT HOW IF YOU USE A RIDE ALONG MOWER ON A SLOPE IT CAN TIP OVER AND YOU CAN END UP UNDERNEITH IT, GETTING RIPPED APART BY THE BLADES. DO YOU THINK HE CARES.

[aftonsparv-bugzz]

where do we draw the line at whos queer and who isnt. that trans hetero person is queer ? "but theyre not queer enough, theyre not gay !!" wouldnt make sense cause theyre trans, right ? that gay man ? "but hes cis, thats not queer enough !!" wouldnt make sense at all, would it ? so where is the logic in drawing fine barriers at what is and isnt queer. queerness isnt just for one person, queerness is the joy, sadness, anger, fear, and all emotions for us to experience and share together as a community. remember, the government doesnt care whether or not "polyamory is queer" or "kink is queer", because queer people are DYING EITHER WAY.

[chelledoggo]

dear Lord.

in about an hour, we're taking Ozzie over the rainbow bridge.

i pray that You'll make his journey peaceful, and that You'll take him in Your arms for eternity.

and i pray You will help me and my family be strong and heal from this.

in Jesus name, amen.

[serial-serializednovelreader]

Nova’s Notes - Dracula Daily - July 20

In which Seward completes his thought (it only took him *checks notes* TWELVE days to cook it up but it’s here)…

Again, Seward uses a lot of ableist language in this entry that I do not relish. There is also implied animal death (not “shown”, just said to have happened) and mention of drugging someone. To get around this, I won’t quote these parts and will only describe them as little as I can (under the cut). I’ll also post this with the appropriate tags. If I don’t see you in this one, I hope to see you in a bit of a lighter entry! Your mental health matters <3

“Visited Renfield very early, before the attendant went his rounds. Found him up and humming a tune. He was spreading out his sugar, which he had saved, in the window, and was manifestly beginning his fly-catching again; and beginning it cheerfully and with a good grace. I looked around for his birds, and not seeing them, asked him where they were. He replied, without turning round, that they had all flown away.”

I know we have a lot to get to, but at least I finally have an answer as to how he’s catching flies — sugar! That makes sense! (Yes, that is what I’m focusing on, no I’m not sorry about it — I’ve been asking Seward about methodology for WEEKS and he just got back to me with this /j) I do wonder where he gets the sugar to spread though…I suppose if Seward is supporting his “pet endeavors” to this end, he is probably allowing him to keep sugar for this purpose. I guess that makes sense. I’m also just imagining Renfield dancing around and humming while spreading sugar…a fun image, to be sure.

Here’s where it gets bad. Last warning, y’all!

What’s not fun is that we can’t see where the birds went. And Renfield isn’t forthcoming on where they went….the fact he won’t turn around while speaking to Seward is telling in and of itself.

So Seward looks further about the room and sees two signs that point to Renfield lying about the birds flying away: feathers scattered about the room, and a drop of blood on his pillow.

Not a good sign!!! Not a good sign at all!!!! I knew this was coming, but I do love that Stoker *evokes* the message of what happened, rather than outright saying it by showing the image of blood and feathers. The art of show don’t tell comes into play once more.

A bit later in the day at 11 a.m., an attendant affirms what Seward already knows: those birds did not just “fly away”. How do they know? Well, Renfield is now sick and is…throwing up feathers. Yeah, this isn’t good.

Twelve hours later, we get an update: that Renfield was given some medication to put him to sleep and Seward took his notebook to read.

Ok, so initially when I read this I was like, “he drugged him without his consent???? To take his notebook???? How DARE he????” And yes, we can definitely look at it in that light, but before doing so, I’d recommend reading this post with the note at the bottom by @rosetyler42 (and also has really good points by @animate-mush for the later points in this post, which I’ll also address). TL;DR, the point raised is that there’s a good chance Seward actually gave Renfield the medicine to help him go to sleep because of his illness. I agree that he likely has food poisoning after what he’s eaten and, as someone who’s had this, you do not feel very good! It would make sense that Seward — as a doctor — would give him medication to treat it, though in this case, the treatment would likely mean putting him to sleep for a time. With all of the nausea and pain he’s in, that actually has some sense to it.

Of course, in the meantime, Seward *will* take the opportunity to read Renfield’s journal. He may be treating his patient (and whether you believe he actually is treating him, or that he solely drugged him to get the notebook is your choice — I know he hasn’t being the most ethical person lately), but he’s not going to miss the chance to peek through the personal belongings while he can! That’s just how Seward is.

Note: this next part is where he uses the majority of his ableist language. I don’t mention it in my thoughts, but wanted to give a heads up for anyone who hasn’t read the entry yet and was wondering where this starts.

Seward finally completes his thought (and I can’t really skate around the implications, so apologies for this): Renfield is setting out to absorb as much life as he can, and he intends to do this by way of a mini food chain, with him as the top predator. Seward is quite interested in what would have been his later steps, and if anything scientifically important could be achieved by this.

Yes, this is where he brings up vivisection, but as the post I linked states, this is more of an example of what was considered to be a strange scientific method that turned out to be useful, rather than him wanting to perform this on Renfield. Don’t get me wrong, the fact that he brings up vivisection as his first thought is…strange, I won’t deny that. But I think it’s more his brain nerding out on science things, rather than wanting to do a vivisection. What he does what to do is get to the heart of what Renfield’s science could be capable of, if anything. However, and this is important to note, he won’t do that because he is not willing to go this far into unethical territory by continuing the experiment. Why? There’s not enough sufficient evidence to indicate positive results, as evidenced by this passage:

“If only there were a sufficient cause! I must not think too much of this, or I may be tempted; a good cause might turn the scale with me, for may not I too be of an exceptional brain, congenitally?”

(Lol, yes Seward you’re smart too <— edit: he actually means out of the norm/neurodivergent here, not smart) He also speculates on the value Renfield places on a human life — many or just one. I do think this is interesting to consider, as some of us humans do eat meat! I don’t like where Seward is going with this though!!!

I do like where he closes this train of thought with:

“He has closed the account most accurately, and to-day begun a new record. How many of us begin a new record with each day of our lives?”

That…that is very profound, Seward. You didn’t have to put that in your musings about Renfield, but you did. Something that I enjoy about Seward’s character is that he likes to get lost in philosophical musings and this is a good example of that.

“To me it seems only yesterday that my whole life ended with my new hope, and that truly I began a new record. So it will be until the Great Recorder sums me up and closes my ledger account with a balance to profit or loss. Oh, Lucy, Lucy, I cannot be angry with you, nor can I be angry with my friend whose happiness is yours; but I must only wait on hopeless and work. Work! work!”

Oh, Seward! And here we reach the root of the problem, one he’s been avoiding talking about for a long time: Lucy. After all, this whole experiment-fiasco has been a distraction to keep himself from thinking of her. But what has that done for him, truly? He still ends up thinking about her, regardless. It breaks my heart a bit that he called her his new hope and that he had to begin anew after that 🥺 it’s never good to put hope as a person but…I understand what he means and it hurts!

Seward comparing God to a “Great Recorder” who will “sum up his account” is so interesting to me! It’s cool to get an insight as to his perspective on religion and how he thinks of it in a more “logical” way (and I do understand he could just be using a metaphor here, but I do think this is his logic and that’s fun to think about lol).

Finally, I love that while he still feels hopeless and bogged down by the fact that all he has to look forward to is his work, he emphasizes that he’s not angry at Lucy *or* Arthur. He wants them to be happy! It doesn’t mean he won’t still be sad, though :(

In the end, he wants a cause like Renfield has — a “strong” one he can turn to that will give him “happiness”. Will that give him real happiness though? Because Renfield sure doesn’t seem happy after his illness today. I’m just saying…

That’s all for this one! Will be putting out the others soon — sorry for the late entry on this one.

[aonokumura]

@civicmuses replied to your post:

Marsha: Oh not much…just having a scene towards the end where a dog slaughters little bunnies.

🌀 "What the hell?!"

"Why?!" 🐈‍⬛

[coulsonlives]

People in fandom for hundreds of years: politely going about their business, shipping all sorts of things, hating some ships individually but just moving on, upholding the basic social contract, not treating people like they're inferior

Antis, barging into fandom: perverts! incest supporters! die! kys! biting you biting you! step on a landmine!

People in fandom:

[tangledinink]

so like. you ever. like… start therapy after your twin brother dies in a horrific motorcycle accident and over the course of two years you slowly unpack your fucked up childhood and then eventually work up the courage to confront your mother (your only surviving parent) about your really awful and toxic relationship and ask if you can talk about it and try to work it out and then she ghosts you for two months and then you ask her if you can talk about it and try to work it out* (*this is now mandatory in order for this relationship to continue) and she says okay and then after struggling with that nightmare for several months you finally find a family therapist and start family therapy, which is cool because now it’s a lot harder for ur mom to gaslight you, and now you have two therapists, so you stay awake at night and wonder if your two therapists fought each other which one would win?

yah me neither.

[monochromelullaby]

Gonna post some pokepasta agere hcs I've been sitting on for a bit, starting with Lost Silver's protag since he's my biggest motivation for this blog! /silly

"Trainer Gold" / "Lost Silver" / ... hcs

Pkmn: Celebi, Typhlosion, unown (technically)

State of being: ghost

Status: regressor. Ranges include 9-10 and 2-4. Probably does fine with other littles when not regressed but not yet sure if he's a flip or just comfortable with it.

Died around 15*, and is Technically 'permaregressed' to that state no matter how much irl time or experience occurs (*40 badges = 5 regions. I average regional travels at about a year each minimum)

He likely regresses to the 9-10 range a lot - an age when his adventure was unfolding, and the future was bright and exciting and still held promise for him.

Regresses further 2-4 range. Very small.

Very sad and easy to cry, his regression is almost always vent regression so constantly on the verge of tears.

Finicky about touch - both craves the physical reassurance but also is scared/wary of touch (so many open wounds - and also phantom pains - don't help)

Can technically manage things on own - either unown powers and/or short-term ghost limbs can be utilized temporarily for about any purpose. But when regressed he's more likely to lean into just being taken care of.

Struggling with self-sufficiency using supernatural powers is very draining on even a ghostly body, so it's far preferable to be looked after. He can accept it better when younger as he feels less baggage about needing to be capable then.

Prefers having music to silence. The unown make noise, but barely anything else in his resting place does, so hearing music or other people's voices is a welcome stimuli.

Regression gear is a mixed bag - they can be soothing items, but most often it's some item or another that he could risk dropping and either need to grab or need someone else to grab

However, onesies are a nice item because it's not something he has to worry about holding, he can just wear it

Likewise, soft items - blankets, plushies and the like - may run the risk of being dropped but are easy to interact with whether in one's hands or not (eg snuggling or laying on it) so those tend to be things he gravitates to as well, on top of finding them comforting.

Building nests of soft things tend to be a nice easy way to make sure he has a comfortable regression space.

Pillow forts are hit or miss - sometimes it feels too much like his grave if it's too dark or enclosed. Things like string lights and music can help offset this feeling however.

Used to like playing games, but now it may be hit or miss, as they're typically accomplishment-geared

Not a hc I'll do much with as it's not comforting for me, but one I know someone will appreciate and I think also just makes sense - typically needs diapers at least when regressed, as his motor skills and energy levels are too low otherwise

[utdr-stimming]

Asriel Dreemurr (God of Hyperdeath) stim board!!!

x x x

x :) x

x x x

[stringofswineteeth]

I feel like we got death and sleep backwards.

We should be allowed to skin and gut and devour ourselves or any number of gruesome activities and drift off in a pile of blood and goo, waking up well rested.

And death should be able to be fought off by smoking meth and fighting to keep our eyes open til eventually we just kinda. Fall over.

I will now be considering your comments, questions, and concerns. Godbless

* This is hypothetical, and I do not recommend smoking meth or removing ones flesh

[muraenide]

Life update:

So my hamster passed away a week ago (in her sleep 🙏) due to old age and cancer and I'm not feeling like doing much because I was practically with her 24/7 in the past 2.5 years since I took her home. It does feel really weird not to have a furry friend to cuddle every night and I'm coping in whichever way I can (in a good way!) by just spending my time on social media looking at other people's hamsters.

Funnily enough, she was holding up really strongly until her last night, I basically told her that if her time was really up, it was okay to leave and to let me adopt her again if reincarnation really existed, she passed in her sleep the next morning.

Tldr I'm taking a small break from writing and prefer to send asks and read other people's replies to my asks in the meantime. I'm getting another hamster real soon by the end of this week!

[castielsprostate]

Not to tell you how to post, but someone who reblogged your don’t look to influencers post posted a death threat @ misha. you’re-only-gay-once

hi anon, thank you for letting me know!

while i HEAVILY disagree with most of misha's take on the genocide performed by isreal towards palestine, threatening death and/or violence against another human being for their opinion on a very nuanced and complicated topic is NOT something i'm okay with.

if you want to educate someone, telling them to commit suicide is NOT helpful and it will actively turn someone against you, no matter their want to be educated on said topic. besides that, it's an abhorrent thing to say to another human being. adults should know better than to say any of that shit, and so should misha collins have to even open his gob about the topic at all, but that is NOT an excuse for others to tell him to end his life or to "kill him with hammers".

please stop giving attention to celebrities when it comes to these topics in general, and instead focus your attention and effort in getting legislators and world leaders to call for a ceasefire. THAT is the most important thing right now.