#cw mention of violence

[formelydailynowweeklykillersans]

THIS QUESTION FUCKING APPEARED IN MY HEAD LIKE AN TON OF BRICKS BC OF A AU I MADE WITH MY FRIEND... . . . hey killer, if you could go back to being yourself in the return of someone else taking your place as the person you are now. would you want that too happen..? i- im sorry if this question is out of no where its just curiosity. {waits for drama :moneymouth:}

(ohh very interesting, be aware tho tw mention of abuse and violence down below)

Back to being myself...? I don't think I got the idea. Would I only physically 'go back' ? Would I keep the little memory I have ? Anyway who I was before is no more. I'm not Sans anymore, I'm something else entirely. It'd be silly to live a 'Sans' life.

Plus, I don't think I'd want someone else to take my current place. Whoever would 'take my place' wouldn't know how to avoid getting impaled by Boss like I do. They wouldn't know all of his unspoken rules. That would just be sending a baby animal to the slaughterhouse.

And that would also mean leaving my cats behind, so no.

[emotelizardrambling]

Okay, so the idea was what if the BitterSweet Trio were friends as kids.

Because I have an all-consuming need to make things more complicated, my brain decided to come up with an entire alternate storyline to BitterSweet, where the roles are kind of reversed, and then build a childhood friends/rivals, to pining ot3, to lovers plotline...

This is the first part of it.

CW: mentioned domestic abuse, mentioned drastic personality change of romantic partner, mentioned (implied) mental illness requiring medication, cursing

Notes:

Background written up in a post here, but short version is:

SB was best friends with Seth and Frenemies with Alphonse when they were growing up.

SB was forced to leave without saying goodbye to Seth or Alphonse and remained separated from the two until sometime (less than a year) after Al's parents died, when they ran into Seth.

Shit with Derek didn't happen in this universe.

Seth and Al never worked for the gang in this universe and are still together after Al takes over the shop. (They still had some dealings with the gang and did meet Charlie through those.)

SB has an emotional support cat named Shade who is absolutely best boy and very smart.

While SB, Shade, and SB's partner are my brain children everyone else is from YuuriVoice's BitterSweet series. So all rights are his.

No beta we die like Derek did before he had a chance to fuck up the boys' lives in this universe.

End notes.

“Hello, this is the Corner Store.”

It's strange to hear a voice on the other end that sounds so much like Al's dad, but also clearly isn't. It sounds nothing like the boy they knew as a kid, but…

“Alphonse?” SB asked hesitantly, not certain they had even remembered the number correctly. 

“Speaking,” he responded, and SB was relieved for a moment, until he asked, “who ’s this?” 

“I…” SB suddenly realized they had no clue why they actually called the shop. What were they even hoping anyone could do for them? This whole mess had nothing to do with Al or Seth or anyone else, but at the same time SB couldn’t bring themself to just hang up. They searched for words, “I…. I’m sorry… I don’t,” SB was cut off by their own sob before they even realized they were crying. Shade rubbed against their foot trying to soothe his person. “I… he broke my phone… I … I don’t know any other numbers,” they tried to explain. 

“Okay, hey, it’s okay,” Alphonse spoke gently, “just take it slow, take a breath.” 

SB tried, but only managed a cough that made their cat urgently nudge their legs. 

“Slow breaths. In …. Hold…. Out… with me okay.”  Al talked them through enough breaths to ease their panic a little. They also crouched to pet Shade which helped.

“That’s it, can you tell me your name?” he asked more hesitantly this time. 

With their breath mostly back they couldn’t really control the torrent of words they let out. “Fuck. I’m sorry, I call you out of nowhere and I’m just crying like an idiot, standing in an old phone booth that smells like weed and piss, with my cat at… I don’t even know what time it is, and the only person I can even call is my childhood best friend’s boyfriend, ‘cause I never bothered to memorize anyone’s phone number and even if I did I…”

Alphonse cut them off. “Boo?” It had been years since they had been called that. You play the ghost dude a few times in Mario Kart… but they had to admit, right now, they welcomed the familiar nickname.

“I… yeah… it’s me. You can hang up if you want. I… fuck I don’t even know why I called to begin with. I mean even if Seth was there or something, what would either of you even do? I should have just waited till he calmed down, or, or left or something.” SB continued to ramble until Al cut in again. 

“Woah,  hey, Boo!” he called for their attention. “Hey, it’s okay, I’m not gonna hang up on ya, just… what the hell is goin’ on? ‘Cause what I’m hearing is that you’re hiding out from somebody in a phone booth with your cat.” 

“I… well… kind of, yeah. I’m not really hiding, I just,” they attempted to clarify but trailed off knowing it would sound bad. “How did it get to be such a mess?” they ask themself. They were still processing the last half hour or so in their head. Their partner had been off for weeks, his brother was fairly sure he stopped taking his medication, and when SB tried to ask him about it he would just insist they drop it. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” 

“I… I went a few blocks and this is like one of those phone boxes with a door, I figured I could put shade down without worrying about him running away or something. I had some change in my pocket but I couldn’t remember any phone numbers…”

“I mean, before that. Why are you in a phone booth with your cat? Are you hurt? Is someone trying to hurt you?” 

They took a few more breaths, They didn’t want to explain it all to Al, Seth had talked about how much Al had grown up since they were kids, so they didn’t really think that he would be an asshole about it, but they knew if it had to do with them, Al would tell Seth. Seth who, ever since elementary school, looked out for them as if they were family, who may well assume the worst case scenario, considering his own experiences. “I’m not hurt… or, well, not really…” They absently rubbed their arm. My partner… he isn't like this. He stopped taking his meds, and then, tonight, he saw that I was texting Seth and somehow he thought that meant I was cheating on him, even though I told him about Seth before, and even that you two were together.” 

“Did he try to hurt you?” 

“He… I don’t think he meant to, but I’ve never seen them like that before. There was yelling, and he threw my phone down. Then he grabbed my arm and I panicked, Shade scratched his leg and, before he could do anything else, I grabbed Shade and locked myself in the bathroom. I… I don’t do well when I feel trapped though, so I climbed out of the window and made it a couple blocks before I even stopped to think… I don’t even know if he realizes I left.” 

“Fuck, okay, look I’ll… shit it’ll take me at least half an hour to get there.” 

“What? No you don’t have to do anything I just…” 

“Even if you hung up right now I’d be heading into the city to look for ya, you shouldn't have to be alone after something like that.” he must have sensed they were about to argue, so he added, “And let’s not even mention what Seth would do if I told him and didn’t already have a plan for getting you out of there safely. He'd probably rather go get you himself, but I can’t imagine that cat of yours would enjoy riding a motorcycle.” 

“Look I appreciate it, but it really isn’t that big of a deal.” 

“Well if it isn’t a big deal I’ll just drive over there and check on you. Or,” Al’s tone wavered a little, “I mean, if this is about me being… well… me, I can get Seth to…”

“No!” SB cut him off. “I mean, it isn’t that. I don’t mind you. I just…” 

“Great, is there anywhere nearby where you could hang out for half an hour? Somewhere that maybe doesn’t smell like piss and weed? A public place, a coffee shop, or restaurant?” 

“I… I doubt it, and even then I have Shade, and I don’t have his harness or carrier or anything.” 

“Right, okay, where are you? 

“I… I’m near the corner of 8th and Kennedy drive.” 

“Okay, listen, I got a… well, I know a guy. Pretty sure he still lives around there and he… he’s kinda a rat bastard to be honest, but he’s harmless and scared shitless of me n’ Seth. He owes us a few favors too so, if you’re okay with it, I could call him to meet up with you. I don’t like the idea of you sitting alone for so long, and I can ask him to find something to keep your cat from running off so you aren't stuck in a phone booth.” 

The last part was the most enticing. It really did smell and SB didn't do great with really strong smells. “Yeah, okay. I mean you really don’t….” 

“I want to help. Hell, even if I didn’t owe you for all the dumb-ass shit I did when we were in school, you’re Seth’s best friend, and I know you deserve a lot better than all this. Now I'm gonna call my guy and let Seth know what’s up. I’ll be there in a little over half an hour. If that ‘partner’ of yours shows up you call the fucking cops on his ass or something. You hear me?” 

“I… Yeah. Thank you, Alphonse.” 

“No problem Boo. I’ll see ya soon alright?” 

“Yeah. I’ll see you soon.” 

—

[gustxxssnarchive]

closed starter | @regalisxc

Adam was thankful for the company, though he didn't contribute much to it. He was exhausted, needed comfort, and had attempted to find it in dragging his friend out to the courtyard to look at stars. It was stupid, but it was their thing, and tonight it was necessary. He needed to vent, to voice his frustrations, because he was so done with everything at this point.

"...and I know she doesn't feel the same," he continued his rant, hands picking at the grass they were laying in to keep himself busy. "She's made it very clear, actually." His mind went to his nose being slapped out of place, still healing. "Despite it, I still wait for her. Am I being foolish?"

[npdemu]

reblog to blow up an ableist

[kitocrystal]

just posting it like this bc Im way too lazy to copy it all down on here

[yandere--stuck]

NEED to know your thoughts on a yandere bill cipher

⚠�� Listen, pal, I KNOW why you're reading this. You've got a crush on YOURS TRULY! That's right, buddy, the cat's outta the bag! Well, not like the cat was ever really in the bag to begin with. What? Didn't think my all-seeing eye would spy you making goo-goo eyes at artistic depictions of me? AHAHA, aw, hey! Nothing to be embarrassed about. It's not like I can blame you, I mean, have you met me? A winning personality, great sense of humor, beautiful singing voice - I'm a total catch! And between you and me, you have better taste than the rest of your species’ population.

👁 There are probably numerous reason why you like stuff like this: The obsession, the possessive behavior, the VIOLENCE. Sure sounds like romance to ME! But as for you… Is it the abandonment issues? Lack of validation in your life? Feeling misunderstood and ostracized by the world? Loneliness? A desire for an escape into a fictional world? Or are you like me? Is romance just no good without the true passion of twisted devotion and obsession? There's no need to LIE! We're kindred spirits, you and I.

⚠️ I know just how you feel. You've been kicked down, laughed at, and made to feel small. You've gone unappreciated by blind MORONS who wouldn't know greatness if it melted their eyeballs out their ears. Because you are MEANT for greatness. You are meant for something more, and I bet it burns you to know that. That you're better than all of them. That they're nothing without you, and they DESERVE nothing. They deserve to BE nothing. I know just how you feel because I was in your place. Surrounded by flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams. HA, and I sure showed them. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, HUH? ME!!!!!!

👁 The point is, I know you. I've had my eye on you for quite a while, kid. Q U I T E A W H I L E. And might I say, out of all the flesh bags that have clogged my vision over the centuries, YOU'RE clearly the best looking outta all of ‘em, hot stuff. But looks aren't everything, of course! You've got a personality to match. Gotta admit, it's cute how you get so invested in your interests, the little hobbies you pick up, just watching you go about your day is like the universe’s greatest reality TV show starring my favorite person in the multiverse! OH, I could just decaptiate you and nuzzle your fleshy little head in an approximation of a kiss right now!!!

⚠️ So, c'mon, just let me in. Shake my hand! Let's make a deal. No matter how big or small! And it’s not just for the purpose of liberating your dimension, no. I want to really get under your skin. To feel what it's like to be in the body of my favorite person. As close as two beings can get, closer than you can get with unworthy specimens of your own kind, more intimate than any experience in the world. I want to be that close to you. Because you're mine. You're MY HUMAN and NOTHING WILL CHANGE THAT. Y'HEAR ME?

👁 So, you might as well accept that you and me are destined, kid. The signs are all there. So, if I were you (and I could be, if you'd just let me), I'd do this the easy way. Because right now, there's two ways this can go down. The easy way: You summon me, and we make a deal. Anything your precious human heart desires - and more! You'll be my precious human pet, my puppet, my toy. Mine to own and have rule beside me! You'll prove everyone who put you down wrong! Anything you want - love, money, fame, worship, vengeance - it'll all be yours, and I'll give it to you. Because I want you to be happy. Because I want what's best for you. Because I’M the only one who actually cares about you. Everything you wanted will be yours. And there'll be an eternal party to celebrate our eternal love… Or, you could do this the hard way. Cause I'm gettin’ outta here one way or another. And when I do, well… I don't think you'd like being locked up in The Love Cage to be TORTURED until you reciprocate my feelings and see the light. I'd say I wouldn't want to, but that'd be lying. So, it's probably not a good idea to give me more of a reason to. So, whaddaya say? You know you deserve the best. Shake my hand and join the winning team. Either way, you're mine.

[jesncin]

Happy Trans Day of Visibility! This year I wanted to celebrate by showing you what Lunar Boy, our upcoming middle grade graphic novel, means to us as queer Indonesian representation: the thought process behind crafting a sci-fi Indonesian future that embraces queer history.

Pre-order Lunar Boy or add it on goodreads! Support QPOC creators and stories!

[loudclan-clangen]

Loudclan - Moon 29: Part 1

Summer rolls across the valley territories with a vengeance. The sparse mountain territory of Loudclan offers little reprieve from the ever present sun that beats down on the cats. While most patrols rush back to camp to take shelter in the caves during the midday hours, young warriors itch for a chance to prove themselves, and evidence of trespassers provides just that for Fiercestripe's patrol.

A fight breaks out between the patrol and the farm cats. Though the clan-cats are highly trained fighters, save for Fiercestripe they are untested in battle, and are outnumbered more than 2:1. There will certainly be losses.

[clangen: *takes everyone's favorite characters, throws them in a blender, and sets it to liquefy* me: *twirls my little metaphorical evil mustache* ahh, yes, just as I planned... For real though, I am so glad to finally get this moon (half of it at least) out to you guys! It is definitely the biggest and most time and skill intensive moon so far and I had a ton of fun drawing it! Unfortunately, that means that the second part is going to take a similarly long while to finish, but I hope that the quality of them makes up for the wait! I hope you guys all enjoy! If you're a little lost as to who the farm cats are check out this pmv and this family tree]

Edit: It's been pointed out to me that Rosehiptree's age is wrong here. That's my bad, this was a HUGE project and while I did my best to not make any mistakes it slipped past me. She's 14 moons old, the same as Dogwoodmoth, but it would be more trouble than it's worth to change it, given the size of the moon not allowing me to upload images on mobile, so lets all just do me a favor and pretend it says 14 instead of 13. Thanks!

[txjis]

there’s something so hot abt toji being violent..

cw: mention of blood, he’s beating some rando up, mention of getting groped by rando.

“what do you think pretty?” he asks, holding the dude up off the ground by the front of his shirt. the man’s face was covered in blood and tears. toji’s knuckles were stained with this man’s crimson. toji had been pummeling into him for a while now.

”think he learned his lesson?” toji looks back towards you, gauging your reaction very carefully. you said you wanted to see this random man get what he deserved, but toji also knew you hadn’t seen the things he has. even with his knuckles covered in blood and throbbing he was still making sure you were okay.

“no.” you scoff, looking down at the male that was sprawled out in an alleyway. it would never be enough, he would never learn. not until you forgot about the way his hand felt on your ass. you watched toji chuckle, something wild flashing behind his green eyes. since meeting you, he hadn’t been super violent- not wanting to put you in any danger. but there was a permanently corrupted part of him that missed it.

”whatever y’say pretty baby.” he chuckles, just before the sound of knuckled cracking against a face echoed through your ears. you watched your boyfriend beat the shit out of a man that thought he had the right to touch you. there was a satisfying feeling in your tummy when toji dropped him to the ground, chest heaving.

“c’mon mama, let’s go home.”

[formelydailynowweeklykillersans]

Wait…He broke your arm!? Bro! Break his arm back!

We anons are supporting you!!!

Break his arm! Break his arm! Break his arm!

We're even now, I twisted his leg

But then Boss wasn't too happy about it.

[loganslowdown4]

Janus: Darling, can you do me a favour?

Remus: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the scene of the crime, and take the blame for you-

Janus: Cool, can you do the dishes?

Remus: No

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Disney started a new subscription service where they send clowns to your house every night and you had to fight them. Not necessarily to the death, but to the point of defeat.

[selineram3421]

*is tired*

Courting Pursuit

Part 3

Part 2

Alastor X Deer Reader

Warnings ⚠

⚠ mule deer reader, gender neutral (gn) reader, assuming Alastor is a marsh deer, Spanish translated, cussing, blood, Valentino's dialogue is pink italics in quotation marks, mentions of aphrodisiac(drug), italics= thoughts ⚠

"Where's Gentle Giant?", Angel asked looking around for the tall deer.

"They have a name you know.", Vaggie sighed.

You were not seen at all today by the others and caused some slight worry among some of the group. Of course, Alastor could care less.

"I know but really, where are they? I didn't see 'em this morning."

Husk turned to look at the spider demon with a raised brow.

"They wake up at five in the morning to start breakfast early. You've been wakin' up early?", the cat demon asked.

Angel raised his arms up. "How could I not!? Have you seen them make breakfast? That's a whole meal on its own! Shaking their ass around to the music they put on, half buttoned up shirt, and those leggings.", he crosses his arms. "I didn't get to see shit today! Kitchen was empty!"

"I didn't get my bugs today!", Niffty piped in. "They usually give me bugs that they find in the kitchen after cooking."

The group continued to wonder where you had gone until Charlie came into the lobby with Sir Pentious.

"Oh, I gave them an errand.", the Princess said.

"WHY!?", the arachnid cried out.

"Shut up Angel.", the white haired woman sighed.

"They said they wanted to do something outside, so I offered them to pick up something from a shop. It's not that far.", Charlie reassured.

"Charlie.", the porn star dead panned.

"Yes?", the Princess smiled.

"How long have they been in Hell? I mean out there, not in the hotel."

"Less than a day..."

Everyone is quiet before rushing out of the hotel.

"Damn it Charlie! They might die!", Angel shouts.

"I didn't think it'd be that bad! Oh no no no no no-!", she apologizes as they all run down the road into the city.

Alastor just sighs and follows calmly behind the group.

What a way to start the day..

.

You were getting groceries for the Princess.

She said that most of the food was gone and with the help of Vaggie, you got a list of the things you needed to get.

At the store, you were a bit confused but you met a nice older woman that helped you learn what the aisle signs said.

"Muchas gracias." (Thank you very much.)

"De nada!", the woman waved her hand. (You're welcome!) "Qué demonio tan atractivo eres." (What an attractive demon you are.)

After paying and carrying all the bags, you made your way through the city and tried to go back to the hotel quickly.

But a tall bug stands in your way once you make it to the entertainment district.

"Ah~ The deer that appeared on the screens.", the tall moth demon smiled wide and approached you. "Valentino is my name and I want you to work for me. A face like yours is well liked among the sinners.", he said and reached out to hold your face.

"No quiero lo que me ofreces.", you quickly moved your head away. (I don't want what you are offering.)

"Ah, pero imagina todo el dinero que ganarás~" (Ah, but imagine all the money you'd be making~), he continued. "Todas las delicias pecaminosas que podrás darte.", his eyes glowed as he circled you like a snake, leaning in close to whisper in your ear. (All the sinful delights you'll get to indulge in.)

You grabbed the moth's face roughly and brought him down to eye level with you.

"I said. I don't want it.", you glared, shoving him away after feeling the groceries shift in your hold. "Adiós. Espero no volver a verte." (Farewell. I hope to never see you again.)

"¿¡Quién te crees que eres!? ¡No puedes darme la espalda!", Valentino hissed out and pulled you back by your arm, making you drop the bag. (Who do you think you are!? You don't get to turn away from me!)

Some of the groceries spilled out onto the street, now no longer edible as blood and grime soiled it.

The moth continued to yell and shout vulgar words, but you just frowned at the loss of food.

"Are you even listening!?", the tall demon shouted in your ear as he tightened his grip on your arm.

"No.", you said and looked at him with a dead stare.

It was the tipping point for him, his anger boiled over and he went to strike you with his hand.

Quickly, you lowered and tilted your head down just a bit before lunging forward. Your antlers stabbed into his chest and blood sprayed onto the top of your head and shoulders.

"¡Pedazo de mierda!", he shouted and grabbed your antlers, slamming you back into a brick wall. (You piece of shit!)

You felt your back sting with pain as he held you in place to remove your antlers from his chest. He managed to kick your stomach, knocking the air out of you. You tried to hit back but he moved out the way.

The moth demon sprayed some pink liquid on you before escaping.

It got in your eyes, making you close them as it felt like burning. The smell was sweet but strong, like a syrup that was too sweet. To the point that it made you feel sick.

After cleaning off the liquid, you salvaged what you could and continued your way back to the hotel.

.

"Where are they!?", Angel cried out.

The hazbin group returned from their search and met up in the lobby. Sir Pentious was still out with his egg minions.

"I didn't see them anywhere! I went to the grocery stores, checked alleys, and bars! Do you know how many bars there are in Hell!?"

"At least we didn't find a body, so we know they are still alive somewhere.", Vaggie muttered.

"Perhaps they've been eaten!", Alastor smiled cheerfully.

The group looked at him in horror.

Niffty not so much, but she was still upset about not getting bugs.

"That's not-", Charlie started.

"WHAT IF THEY WERE EATEN!?", the spider screeched.

"DAMN IT ANGEL, THEY WEREN'T EATEN!", the white haired woman yelled back.

"BUT WHAT IF THEY WERE!?", Niftty jumped into the conversation, smiling.

"You ain't helping Nift.", Husk grumbled.

"I swear to Satan-!"

"Calm down!"

The others stopped screeching at each other when hearing the entrance door open, all turning their heads to find the mule deer dragging their feet as they walked into the hotel.

Covered in blood, holding a bag of groceries.

"Hola..", they waved with a tired smile.

The spider called their name in relief and rushed over, checking them for injuries.

"Holy shit! What happened to you!?", Angel grabbed their head and brought it down to see their blood soaked antlers. "You've got blood all on top of your head!"

"Estoy bien, estoy bien.", the deer mumbled. (I'm ok, I'm ok.)

"¿Qué mierda paso?", Husk spoke up. (What the fuck happened?)

"Nada demasiado importante.", they gave a small reassuring smile. (Nothing too important.)

"Where are my bugs!", Niftty ran over and tugged on their pants.

"Glad you're ok.", the Princess sighed.

"Yes, yes. We're all glad that they aren't dead.", Alastor says as he walks over. "Now, lets have them cleaned up and well-"

Before the Radio Demon could touch them, the mule deer flinched back.

"Lo siento. No me encuentro bien.", they said and handed the grocery bag over to the spider. (I'm sorry. I don't feel well.) "Voy a descansar en mi habitación. Perdonadme.", they managed to get out before heading upstairs. (I'm going to rest in my room. Pardon me.)

Curious.. He thought as the others dispersed, but then noticed that the arachnid stayed put, staring where the mule deer was last seen.

"What is it now? Aren't you satisfied that they are safe and sound?", he asked.

"Somethin's not right.", Angel said. "They smelled like aphrodisiac was poured all over them."

"A what?", the deer demon replied, a bit confused. "That is a drug, correct?"

"Yeah.. And right now, it ain't a good one.", the fluffy demon stuffed the grocery bag in the fridge before running upstairs, shouting out the mule deer's name.

Curious indeed...

As I was writing this during break, coworker walked up and asked what I was writing and I immediately hid my phone.

~Seline, the person.

Part 4

Taglist@

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ML II Alastor🎙 | CP ChL🦌

[swollenbabyfat]

Quiet now children

[starry-bi-sky]

my body's aching like a knock-down drag-out

and my poor heart is an open wound A Childhood Friends Au snippet that very briefly delves into Danny's life post-accident. CW: Mild Mentions of Blood, Violence, VERY mild gore ig. Danny briefly recalls getting impaled during a fight.

------------

What they don't tell you about being dead is that it hurts. That it can hurt. That it can hurt more than when you were alive. That when you die, the emotions you die with stick with you like a leech that just won't let go. That emotions are ugly little thorns that stick their barbs into you and grow beneath your skin; or, at least, whatever’s left of it. 

Danny is familiar with anger. It kept him warm in Gotham, when his parents weren't home from work and he and Jason were crowding Crime Alley with their presence. It kept him warm in Amity, when the fresh sting of moving was still needling into his heart and he wanted nothing more than to rip and tear into the closest person next to him.

He's familiar with violence. With fights. With death. He's seen people die in Crime Alley probably every day. From overdose, from gunshots, from stab wounds; anything that can kill, rest assured he's seen it. He's familiar with getting his own knuckles rough and bloody when other kids turn and bare their teeth at him and Jason; they're all just starving dogs stuck in a fighting pit, primed and ready to rip out each other's throats. 

Black eyes, stomped hands, bloody noses. You name it; he’s had it. Gotham is paved with the blood of her children, and Danny likes to imagine that when he was born, the doctors handed his mother a file and told her; “Take it. He’s going to need it for his teeth.” 

Danny’s mom (and dad, for that matter) was too busy trying to keep him and Jazz fed, so Danny stole the file from her drawer with Jazz’s help, and did it himself.  

He’s familiar with anger, he thought he was getting better at it these days. It doesn’t come to him as easily as it did before. Of course, that was before Jason died. 

Danny is less familiar with grief. Caring kills and Gotham kills the caring, so Danny cares very little about other people. Or he tries to. But grief hurts. His grief hurts. It hurts too much. It hurts like a bug trying to crawl out of his chest; like a rat chewing a hole through his heart. Some days he wants to dig his hands into his hair and split himself down the middle. Some days he just wants to scream. 

He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s dead. 

He wants the whole city to hear him wailing, some days. It sticks itself in the back of his throat like bile, and Danny is one wrong retch away from letting it loose. It sticks in his lungs like all the tar he’s smoked in since he was nine. It pushes and aches at his temples, in his head, like his brain is trying to swell out of his skull. His thoughts becoming so loud they threaten to commandeer his tongue.  

He has no mouth, but he must scream. 

Something they don’t tell you about being dead is that it hurts. That it hurts more than when you were alive. Something they don’t tell you about being dead is that it’s violent. That it’s bloody. Or as bloody as it can be when everyone has no blood. 

Another thing they don’t tell you about being dead, is that it’s a lot like Gotham that way.

With no threat of death, Danny’s enemies forget death itself. Blood comes easy, like water, and teeth are encouraged. Bring your own fangs to the fight. Dying is something you can just walk off. 

Danny’s been dead for three months. He can’t say he’s been walking it off easy. He’s perfected the art of turning his nails into claws since his heart was still beating, but he can’t say he’s perfected fighting other ghosts. 

Scrappy is just not enough. 

He feels like he’s back in Gotham again. Back in her death-shroud alleyways, fighting someone bigger than him. But there’s no Jason to watch his back, and Danny has to get himself out of there alone. Or he might just not get up at all. 

Black eyes, busted lips. It’s familiar to him like an old scent, Danny isn’t quite sure that he’s missed it. It’s more familiar than his fights with Dash. 

But there’s no one else who can do it but him. Not Sam, not Tucker. He can’t lose them too. He can’t. He can’t. He can’t. His heart can’t take another break, he already feels like he’s going insane. 

With no threat of death, Danny’s enemies fight like death themself. He learns why when Technus puts a street sign through his stomach one day. It pins him to the asphalt like a moth pinned by its wings. 

Danny claws at the metal like how an animal caught in a trap chews off its leg, and every move is blinding pain. He thinks he was howling, but it’s hard to tell. He couldn’t recognize the sound of his voice. 

He bleeds green. It mixes in black with the pitch blackhole in his heart, which throbs and twists and cries in time with his reckless panic. The finger-choking terror of dying again strangles out the air he doesn’t need. His blood evaporates, only to reabsorb into him. It just bleeds out again, cycling like a snake eating its own tail. 

Danny breaks his nails clawing at the metal, and eventually gets it in his mind to pull it out. So he does, and the end drips ectoplasm green as he gets to his feet. In red-vision, Danny sends the sign back with snarling, vicious fervor. The pain is irrelevant in his rage.

Only after the fight does the hole the pole left start to close. Danny doesn’t shift human until it’s gone. Unlike other injuries, a scar stays behind. Ugly; mottled, it aches for a week with every twist and stretch his body makes. He hates it. 

Being dead is agony. 

Every part of him is in pain. Every step, every word he speaks, everything he does, it is prerequisite with pain. The body is temporary, but the soul is forever, and death has carved into it with its freezing green hands and left him with never-ending heartache. It has torn from him and stolen what of him it could, and in return it’s left him with sorrow. 

His pain is his grief, and he’s sobbed in the safety of his room more times than he can count. It’s still as fresh as the day he heard the news of Jason’s death. He knows, instinctively, that it will stay fresh forever. 

In his room, Danny shoves his hands over his mouth and shrieks in whatever, muffled way he can into his pillow. It’s not enough. It’s never enough. He needs to be louder. He needs to be heard. He refuses to be. 

Being dead hurts.