#cw ex-gay

[internetgiraffekid1673]

It says in your little thing that your Mormon, are you still Mormon cuz respectfully I've heard a lot of shit about Mormons and how they are very transphobic and homophobic! So not trying to be rude just genuinely wondering if I read that wrong or something.

Hey! Yeah, I am a mormon, but I love all my queer siblings, including/especially my trans people. But it's a complicated religion and I have a complicated relationship with it, so I understand the confusion.

The short answer is that I was raised mormon, continue to find a lot of comfort and truth in SOME of their teachings, and I am perpetually very pissed with a lot of their other teachings, cuz yeah, a lot of them are Not Good. So I'm mormon and mad about it. It's kind of like. . .imagine if you were raised Catholic and only really have good memories of your Catholic community and find a lot of comfort in teachings about God's love, but you absolutely despise the administration of the Catholic church and like, everything they say about queer people. It's like that.

The long answer is this:

A) The mormons get a bad rap on the internet for stuff that isn't actually true. If you ever have a specific question, I am happy to answer to the best of my abilities.

B) Having said that, a lot of the teachings of the mormon church regarding queer people are really really bad and I do not support or encourage this even slightly. I myself am queer, and I have to put up with hearing all kinds of queerphobic shit from the church all the time. And I hate it and I speak against it whenever it is safe for me to do so. It just. All of it goes soooo against the other teachings of the church. I am not the only queer member. There is an entire community of us on tumblr over here. We all work and suffer through it together.

C) I still believe in the stuff that's at the fundamentals of the gospel though. Namely, God exists and he loves all of us unconditionally. He sent us to Earth so that we could learn and grow and become happier through our experiences here. Free agency/the ability to make independent choices is very VERY important to him. He sent Jesus Christ to suffer for our sins so that when we do fuck it up, we don't have to live with that guilt forever. Jesus also suffered for our pain and sorrow so that we didn't have to and can bring us healing. We're supposed to love our neighbors with our whole hearts.

I also believe that Joseph Smith did translate the Book of Mormon, although he was still a human being who made mistakes and I don't believe in a LOT of the stuff he said and did. I doubt you've read the Book of Mormon, but it's really just The Bible Extended Edition. There's a reason it's full name is The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. It covers what the hell was going on in the Americas during the biblical times.

I also believe that God has chosen prophets for our modern day to continue giving us revelation. I also believe those prophets are mostly crusty old men with outdated personal opinions that they mistake for revelation, that they fuck it up a lot, and I wish a lot of them would hurry up and die so I no longer have to listen to their bullshit.

D) Religion and faith are personal. I'm not here to convert anyone, especially other queer people. I continue practicing my religion because I have had literal years and some really amazing people to help me sort out what is good and bad and to figure out what parts of it are best for me as a person. I understand that what's best for some people is literally none of it, and I also understand that while some people could benefit from just doing what I do, that the way the church treats queer people (and also women sometimes) does more harm than the good parts help. So while I talk about my religion sometimes, it's always more about my personal relationship with it and never to try to convert people. I fully support ex-mormons who left the church, because sometimes the environment can be truly toxic and the religious trauma they have experienced is real.

E) The culture of the church and the actual doctrinal teachings of the church are two very different things. Utah mormon culture is also different than regular mormon culture. All of these things have good aspects to them, but church culture and Utah mormon culture also have a lot of really harmful things too, and these don't even have anything to do with the crusty old men being homophobic/transphobic. I am also mad about this, and I also complain about this fairly frequently.

I'm glad you asked because I understand that this stuff can be confusing. I think it's impossible to be any kind of religious queer person and not have a really complicated and deeply personal relationship with your religion.

I hope that answered your question, and I completely understand if this makes my blog feel like an unsafe space for you and you feel like you need to unfollow me. I do, however, tag every church related post I make, both with a religion cw and the tumblr mormon tag. Do what's best for you, and much love.

Also, unrelated, but I really appreciate all the posts you make and every time I see a little notification from you on one of my posts, it makes me so very happy.

[theshoesofatiredman]

Video by Satvik Soni (@stvksn) on Instagram

Transcript:

I just moved into a new apartment and this is a letter to the girl who lived here before me. Look, I don't really know anything about you. All I know is that you have terrible taste in belts and the worst taste in wall art I've ever seen. Anyway, I was cleaning out the cupboards and found this book that you left behind. The book starts with the story of a woman sitting scared in a car while a man tries to break down her windows. of course. The man eventually succeeds, of course, and pulls her out before the car is smashed by an oncoming train. of course. The book then goes on to tell you that in your homosexuality, you are like the woman in that car. This is followed by fifty pages of convincing you to step out of it. When I rot in bed, which is happening quite often nowadays, your ghost stays in here with me. She tells me of the nights you spent reading that book. The nights you spent hoping for a man to pull you out of your car. The nights you spent apologizing to no one for no reason at all. Our landlord told me that you left this place to get married. I really hope you lied to him. Landlords don't deserve the truth. Above all, I hope your ghost finds some peace soon. I hope your God has asked for your mercy. I hope you've refused to forgive him. I hope you left this book behind on purpose and I hope you're drowning in women. You deserve all of it. Just get some better belts.

I was profoundly moved when I watched this earlier today. I found myself sobbing from the care in his message. I used to be the person in the car. For most of my life, I saw my homosexuality as the thing that could destroy me. It was my vice which, at any moment, could rise up and squeeze the life out of me. I was constantly at war with myself, seeking and destroying the parts of me that wanted other men, loved other men, yearned for other men.

In my journey to believe that I could get off the train tracks while still being in the car, I found my experience continually invalidated. What I hoped would become an invitation for the people in my life to explore other theological possibilities with me became closed doors, lectures, and bitter words. Where I hoped to be seen and heard, I found closed eyes and plugged ears.

Worse still, I found blame. I was the one who failed. My back was the one that was turned. My feet were the ones not running the race. I had become prodigal, wasteful with the riches of heaven. God was there waiting, arms open, perfect and blameless.

I've heard the car story from the pulpit before, probably read it in a book not dissimilar from the one the previous tenant had. I've regurgitated it in different contexts, wielded it as a weapon against a world I saw unconvinced of its sinful state. It cut both ways.

I can't help but feel deeply seen and loved by the fact that this man picked up only a small piece of my experience, and was able to understand the depth of the wrong done to me. He was able to imagine, for a complete stranger, the awfulness of holding homophobia sacred. And then, with a concision and precision that I am endlessly envious of, he said words I feel like I've been waiting years to hear:

I hope your God has asked for your mercy. I hope you've refused to forgive him.

[1unpunishable1]

Me + Nurse Bendy= trauma bonding forever lol

made by @andy-deer

[aranostra]

i am here once again begging iwtv fandom to stop misgendering louis de pointe du lac

[r0semultiverse]

do you think I would piss off chronically online people if I told y’all I almost had sexual affairs with a GILF once? 😜 (REAL)

[ardent-apostasy]

me: it's so frustrating when celebrities accuse anyone who criticizes them of "hating them for being [minority xyz that's completely irrelevant here]"

my evangelical family: yeah, it's like, you say people shouldn't be gay because it's not healthy, and suddenly everyone's like "you hate gay people!"

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

Get it off your chest

We all have things happen to us that haunt us for years afterwards, right? I certainly know I have. Share what stupid thing had been haunting you and get it off your chest so it doesn't distract you during your exams! (If you laugh about it it becomes an embarrassing joke rather than a mortifying world-shattering event, hopefully).

For me, it was the time that we went to the theatre as a drama class to see an adaption of The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Black Eyed Theatre and it was an absolute BANGER of a play, like genuinely amazing, but I hadn't turned my phone off properly and even though it was on silent my alarm went off. It was only quiet but we were in the second row and it was a small theatre, so my teacher was FURIOUS and I heard the actors hesitate. Absolutely mortifying and I have to write about that play in an essay tomorrow.

This was two years ago.

[risuola]

CALL IT DOUBLE TROUBLE — F. READER x GOJO SATORU & GETO SUGURU, who have a habit of sharing everything

It’s been a while since you last saw your college ex-boyfriend Gojo and a Halloween party led to your reconnection. It was cool to see him again, although your break-up was messy. What turned out to be a plot twist, was that he now has a handsome best friend and together, they are deadly.

cw: smut, exes to lovers, strangers to lovers, threesome, double penetration, praise, cum play, oral (f & m receiving), su*cide is mentioned (no description, just brief mention), reader discretion is advised ��� 6k words

masterlist

a/n: with that post I'm concluding the kinktober - sorry about the delay! work overwhelmed me, it sucked the life out of me, but I'll be getting back to writing now, so stay tuned! also, we hit 1300 followers, so I just want to say thank you so much for being here and reading the shit I post!

You were never that big on parties – you found them mostly annoying with the masses pushing and pulling all around you, drunk assholes that never seem to understand how consent works and even more drunk girls, that throw themselves at anyone slightly attractive. At least that’s how you remember every party you were on during your college years. You experienced firsthand how much effort men can put into chasing a hem of a mini skirt and you also saw in real life, how women were flexing their assets just to get into the pants they want. Unfortunately, usually pants that were in the biggest demand, were coincidentally belonging to your boyfriend. Uh, yeah, maybe that’s why you don’t really like parties.

Dating Satoru Gojo was a blessing, in some parts – he was just lovely to you. He was caring, to some extent, he was sweet-talking you into everything he wanted, and his arrogance always seemed to fly right over your head, but you loved him for longer than he deserved. You trusted him to not sleep with those eagerly spreading girls and he never did. At least that’s what you like to believe. Flirting with them – that was a different story. Satoru was an attention whore, really. He was basking in the gazes glued to him, the salivating mouths were feeding his already enormous ego and he seemed to have the time of his life pulling the strings of those poor, naïve girls that every time believed him when he told them they are just so pretty. His crystalline blue eyes were capable of turning lesbians into straight and straights into gay. The number of suggestive pictures he posed for flooded your social media each time after the parties you attended with him, and not one of those pictures he’s ever taken with you. And then, after leaving the frat houses and clubs, he would tell you how lucky you are to have him, how all of those silly girls were offering him their pussies oh so eagerly. He’d tell you how they envied you. All while he’d fuck you. You spent two years with him, then came the break-up and just as everything that involved Satoru was messy – so was your parting.

You really had no pleasure in partying, after freeing yourself from the toxicity of Gojo, you finally found peace. You flew through college with ease and after it ended, you found yourself quite a nice job – you were okay without attending any kinds of alcohol and loud music related people gatherings. That’s until Shoko called you earlier that month, practically begging you to pay her a visit on Halloween. She was in the city, having her family house all to her disposal due to her family being on a trip somewhere warm. It was a party where all of your college, mutual friends were going to be, a little reconnection if you will and she insisted you show up as well. It really sounded lovely to see where all of your friends landed in lives. With some you still had a regular contact, but some just went their ways and you rarely crossed paths with them, so you agreed to be there. That was a perfect opportunity to catch up and you were excited.

For some unknown reason, not even once you considered Gojo to be there as well. You just kind of pushed the memory of him to the back of your head, you removed him from the picture of your mutual circle of friends and completely you forgot that he’ll most likely be there as well. You realized it when Shoko asked you about him.

“Have you seen Gojo already?”, her tone was quite cautious when she mentioned the name to you, and with the way you looked at her from above your dying cigarette, she spoke again, “You know he’s gonna be there as well, don’t you?”

“Guess I blacked out that possibility,” you mumbled, shrugging softly to shake off the uneasiness of the thought and killing the cig in the sink before throwing it away. “No, I haven’t seen him and I hope it will stay that way.”

“Oh, you’re still wounded after him?”

“No, Sho, I’m not wounded,” you grabbed yourself a red cup from the array on one of the tables in the kitchen. You had no idea what concoction of liquid courage was inside every each of them, but you really couldn’t care less. If that was one of your first parties in years, you were not going to be picky and you trusted Shoko enough to not have death in those cups. “I’m really not. Thing is… I don’t know, it’s been so many years, I’m not really sure what to even tell him. We broke up in a mess that wasn’t addressed ever since, so you know.”

“Yeah, right, I remember the insanity of that action. Gojo was haunting my dreams for two weeks after the suicidal stunt he pulled off.” Ieiri flinched at the memory but laughed right after realizing how stupid all of that was. “He was a drama queen, we have to give him that.”

“See?”

“Well, you’ll most likely see him anyway, so just a hi will be good.”

“Noted.”

She left you to greet someone, and you shook your head, hoping to get rid of the flashbacks, but they were inevitable, you guessed it. Long time after ending things with Gojo you couldn’t find peace after what happened. You think you will forever remember the argument that unraveled after you told him you’re breaking up with him. There was so much screaming, your head pounded with pain for two days straight after that. Nothing more than accusing of the most bizarre shits and poison was spilling from his mouth when, for the first time, Satoru Gojo was informed that someone else is leaving him. Usually, it was him who ended things up, it was him who was cutting the strings and he was too immature back then to come to terms that other people are also entitled to just go away. You remember he went completely feral, almost psychotic as he was laughing at some point, throwing ironic insults at you as if it was gonna make you stay. He had to prove a point that it’s not you who want to leave him. It’s him who want to break up and you just accidentally happened telling him that before he managed to do so. After that, he threatened you that he will kill himself and he made it everybody’s problem – you had to know it, Shoko had to know it and every single one of your friends had to know it as well. You heard from Ieiri that after about three weeks he got back to being his usual arrogant playboy, as if he didn’t just cause drama of the century. He moved on. Traumatized everyone around him, but moved on nonetheless. Now you found the situation kind of funny. You were just kids and you were not meant to be together. That’s just how life works and you wondered sometimes if Satoru learned a little more life after that or did he stay the same.

Sighing again, you took the cup and slipped in between people in the living room, stepping outside to breathe some fresh air on the terrace, thankful that no one was there. Or so you thought and no wonder you almost jumped out of your own skin when you heard a voice right next to you.

“Fire?” He asked, after a moment of watching you search for the lighter in the pockets of your makeshift schoolgirl uniform. The unlit cigarette in your mouth betraying what you were looking for.

His tone was soft, saccharine sweet and calm at the same time and as you looked up at him, it somewhat matched the picture that met your eyes. The man was tall and broad, dressed all in black with dress pants and a hoodie. His sleeves half up, exposing the veiny forearms as he was keeping his lighter visible, ready to give you a hand.

“Yes, please,” you replied finally, leaning into the fire he opened and with relief you take the first breath in. You were not a smoker in your day-to-day life. One pack of cigarettes lasted you a year, but it was Shoko’s influence that today made you poison your lungs more than usual. “Thanks.”

“I’m Suguru. Geto Suguru,” he introduced himself, offering you his palm and you gave it a short squeeze, telling him your own name. You couldn’t find his face in your memories, and you’d like to think that such handsome features would tattoo themselves into your brain in one way or another. He had to come with someone else, you figured. Probably a boyfriend or a husband even. You couldn’t care less about asking. “Enjoying the party?”

“I’m not big on parties, really,” you shrugged, keeping your gaze away from him because hell, he made it so easy to stare with his long luscious, black hair resting over his shoulders and back, half tied up in a little bun just to get them out of his face. You couldn’t tell what his costume was, he had some kind of alternative style going on, slightly rocker vibes with his pierced ears and silver chains hanging from his neck, but it might have as well be his usual style – he looked good in it. He most certainly looked like a big, red flag but hell was the flag attractive.

“I see. Well, I’m not either,” he confessed, huffing out a greyish cloud of smoke out of his lungs and by the smell of it, you could tell it wasn’t nicotine.

“What you’re smoking?”

“Weed, why? Wanna try it?” It was an offer that you should politely say no to, but it was your first and probably last party in a while, so you asked yourself why not and took the joint from his fingers.

“So, you’re here with someone?” you questioned, just to keep the conversation going once you gave him the smoke back. You could feel the unfamiliar but somehow pleasant burn in your lungs after the drag you took and slowly you blew the fume out. Suguru found the view attractive. Sharing a joint with you felt a little more intimate than it should have, the way your lips wrapped around the brownish paper made him wonder how would they look wrapped around something else. Thoughts like this shouldn’t bloom in his head right after he’s met you, not when he’s an adult man, not a stupid kid anymore, but some things couldn’t be stopped.

“Yeah,” he inhaled once more, deeply enough to kill the joint and throw it away. You watched for a moment how he kept the smoke in his lungs, letting it go after a moment. The cloud escaping through his mouth and nose in a soft stream. Fuck, what a gorgeous man. Whoever was the girl that got him had to be lucky. “You know him, he told me about you.”

Oh, never mind.

“He? Ah, fuck, don’t tell me you came here with that idiot,” you reached down for your cup that few moments prior you put on the ground while searching for a lighter.

“Ow, you’re hurting my feelings, sweetheart.”

And there he was. You wondered where that tower of an asshole hid.

Once you look back at Geto, there was also Satoru. He was standing next to his friend slash partner, with his forearm propped over Suguru’s shoulder as he looked at you from above the black glasses, with the very familiar grin painted on his face. Gojo changed a lot since you last saw him. He was now buffier, seemed even taller than you remembered, and his facial features matured – his jaw became more square, eyes a little more lidded and even the smirk on his lips seemed less playboy-ish and more menacingly manly. He lost his princess looks and became a man. You wondered if his character changed as well, because you could still see him using his looks to take what he wanted.

“Oh, do I?” You questioned, eyeing him up and down. His clothes were almost exactly the same as Geto’s – only difference being the light color and the fact his sweatshirt had no hood. What he was wearing completely contrasted to what his friend had on and it made sense if they were here together. Black and white, like yin and yang. You had no idea if they were here as friends or lovers, but either way, you wouldn’t be surprised.

“You sure do,” Satoru shook his head, his smile now more friendly as he approached you, entrapping you in a hug that surely took you by surprise. “It’s good to see you, beautiful.”

“You too,” you guessed, not completely convinced about what you just said but you let it be.

“I’m sorry. I have to say it before you run away from me. I’m really sorry, I was a dick when we were dating,” Gojo’s voice reached your ears directly, but you had a hard time believing what you were hearing. He was never a type to apologize for anything. Please, sorry and thank you is a set of words that you were certain he never used and yet there he was, saying just that. He really evolved. Or he wanted something.

“Yeah, you were. Hope you’re not anymore,” you chuckled softly, brushing your hand over his side.

“I try not to be,” he confessed quietly, pressing a tender kiss to the side of your neck before letting go of you. He shouldn’t have kiss you like that, but the feeling of longing was way stronger than him. Even if for a moment, he had to just have a little taste of you.

Ever since you broke up, Gojo had no idea how much he missed having you in his arms. Up until that night he was okay with some random girls coming into and getting out of his bed with no strings attached. He seemed to be unable to form a lasting relationship after you, you were his first and last girlfriend that he committed to for so long, no matter how poorly. Even if he was nothing but an asshole to you, he often wished to marry you back in the college. Even if he couldn’t possibly show you how much he cared, because his childish behaviors were standing in the way of him reaching your heart properly, he really thought you will be the one and only in his life and even if he seemed to move on so quickly after you broke up with him, it was only for show. A cover up for the thunderstorm that was raging inside his chest, a band aid over the bleeding wound. No other girl was able to even half-fill the emptiness you left in his heart.

You were special to him and it thrilled him to the core when for the first time he heard from Shoko that you agreed to be there, because if it wasn’t for you, he wouldn’t show up as well. His time for partying finished along with his fourth year of college, when he realized there was less and less fun in drinking alcohol and forcing himself into flirting. When it came to you, he had never needed to force himself to do anything. He was just an immature kid when you dated, but he loved the time you gave him.

And now, you were still fitting perfectly into his body. As if he was made from memory foam that still remembered your shape. Now, you were still just as beautiful and breathtaking as he remembered you. In your little, schoolgirl mini skirt, thigh-high socks and a white button up shirt with a loosened tie you looked way sexier than you had a reason to. It’s been quite some time since he was that aroused from just looking at someone and you made him harder than he thought is possible. Fuck, what you were doing to him?

“So, what do you do now? Still living from party to party and from girl to girl?” You asked, taking a sip of your drink. It was strong and it really was better for you to take it in slowly, but there was a certain burn of nervousness tied to meeting your ex that you needed to drown.

“No, it’s in the past,” Satoru replied, inviting you inside, where all three of you found a nice place to sit on one of the couches. You landed between the two men. “I took the lead of my father’s company, Suguru’s my partner in crime. We’re doing good, I don’t party anymore. Honestly, if Shoko didn’t give me a sign that you will be there, I wouldn’t probably step by.”

“Oh, so you came to haunt me,” you joked, earning a soft chuckle from him.

“Yeah, kind of. Couldn’t reach you before and wanted to sort this whole mess out. I’m usually cool with having enemies, but you’re not someone I want to have as enemy.”

You gave his words a soft roll of your eyes. Maybe few years back you’d let yourself be sugarcoated into believing him, but not now. Maybe, just maybe, he matured a little, but some things will never change. Gojo was a flirt, is a flirt and probably will always be a flirt. But hell, was he cute. You cursed his innate ability to attract you from a mile.

“Sure, whatever,” you shrugged and the conversation after that was flowing nicely. You got to know Suguru, you learned who he is and why did he stick with Satoru. It was a friendship they developed that kept them together and maybe it was thanks to Geto that your ex wasn’t so much of an asshole anymore. Maybe it’s the brunette’s calm personality that somewhat grounded the playboy. Or maybe it was all an illusion. Yea, it had to be an illusion. There was no way that these two six-foot-three giants were not causing some troubles.

Yeah, they were a trouble. Double trouble, to be exact, and you got to learn that when the doors of one of many bedrooms on the floor closed behind you. You don’t even know how and why you agreed to go with them anywhere in the first place. You had no idea how on earth did Satoru sweet-talked you into fucking him again. For the old time’s sake, my ass. And more important, how did he sweet-talked you into fucking not only him, but also Suguru? At the same time?! You were not built for this, that’s for sure.

“Let’s have fun like we always did, yeah?” Gojo had this typical, shit-eating grin stretched on his face, when he was pulling you by the wrist onto the bed. Geto took his time and lit up another joint, opting to just stand and watch for now. He had a smirk on, his eyes were fixed on you, and you could tell that they weren’t new to sharing a woman. It really was obvious they did that before.

You had no time to think if that surprises you at all. Satoru was a stranger to patience. He never enjoyed waiting and always went straight for what he wanted, and this time was no exception.

“God, you look so fucking hot as a schoolgirl,” he muttered, burying his face into your neck, nibbing and kissing wet marks onto your skin whilst his fingers were already dealing with buttons of your white shirt. Your body acted on its own accord, responding to the red stains of his lips and the cold touch of his fingers with excitement that you felt for the last time when you were in college. It bothered you that you still were so receptive to the way he feels on you, you thought that you���re way over the Gojo effect but seems like you were gravelly wrong. “What a naughty one,” Satoru chuckled, his voice bordered a moan when he finally opened your shirt and your shapely tits, hugged beautifully by a lace bra entered his field of view. “Fuck, I missed those.”

“You’re talking too much,” you grabbed him by the hair, tugging the snow-white strands at the base of his neck and pushing his face down your neck and onto your chest, hoping it will shut him up. That was the issue with your ex. He really was a phenomenal lay but he was just talking so damn much. That was what ultimately pushed you over the edge when you were together back in the day. You just couldn’t stand listening about other women while he was with you.

“Maybe I am,” he chuckled, sucking a red spot onto one of your tits, earning himself another tug on the hair.

“Don’t mark me, idiot,” you warned him, but it was already too late and both of you knew it.

“My, my… so nervous. Let me help you relax,” Gojo smiled wide and made you lay flat on the bed. It took him no time to find his place between your thighs and before you even got a chance to react, he was already pulling your panties off of you. For a split second, your mind got distracted by the subtle scent of weed that’s filling the air. The smell that reminded you that it’s not only you and your ex in the room, but also another person.

“Don’t worry about me,” Geto smiled. Something mischievous lingered over his lips as he did before he took another drag. The joint between his fingers slowly but surely becoming smaller as he was saturating his lungs with the fumes, only to breathe them out after a moment.

“Are you not going to join?” You asked, your voice slightly breaking into a whine once Satoru flicked his tongue over your clit, reminding you how well he spoke the language of your body. He was fluent in your pleasure, you were never sure if it came to him with experience or was he just naturally gifted, but either way, he had a skill and was proud of it. He began eating you out like he was starving for the past decade. His tongue worked the puffy nub of nerves all the way around, he sucked and licked, slurped and kissed your cunt, causing your body to jolt in pleasure. He was purring while between your legs, his long fingers already working their way into your hole. The stretch was delicious, the symphony of his mouth and hands was slowly driving you insane.

“You’re so sweet,” Satoru mumbled, taking the pleasure away to smear some wet kisses along your inner thighs. “She’s so incredibly sweet, Suguru, you have to taste her,” he added, accentuating the thought with a bite onto the fat of your thigh. His friend just chuckled, making his way towards you and he handed you his half smoked joint.

“I’d love to,” Geto replaced your ex between your thighs. He kept looking into your eyes when he opened his mouth, presenting you with his pierced tongue. Little, metallic ball in the middle of the muscle glistened in the artificial lighting and it made you moan out loud, when he swiped it along your slit, gathering your juices. There was something absolutely intimidating about his calm demeanor, something nearly diabolic but it was exactly what attracted you to him. He was complete opposite to Satoru. He wasn’t bright and loud; his eyes weren’t big and vibrant. He looked mysterious, he kept himself quieter, his eyes kept the focus that Gojo couldn’t achieve. They really were made for each other.

“Oh god—,” your eyes nearly rolled back as he began working on your swollen clit ruthlessly. You had no idea if it was because of the piercing or was it just his skill, but it felt even better then when the snow-white was between your thighs. Or maybe it was just you being so turned on by him.

“You like it?”, your ex asked, grinning as he was taking the time to undress himself. “Knew you’re gonna enjoy it.”

You spared him the comment, losing the track of thoughts in the way Suguru was making you feel. You could have sworn you never felt something like this, he was just incredible with the way his tongue was engraving his own name into your clit. Cold metal of his piercing doubled down the pleasure you were receiving, contrasting with the heat of his muscle.

Your thighs began to tremble, your toes curled in, and you felt yourself quickly falling down the hole of ultimate lust. Euphoria was rushing through your veins; your heart was drumming in your chest as the smoke was leaving your lungs after the drag you took from the joint in your hand. Suguru was pushing you over the edge with such ease it felt illegal. You could feel him grinning proudly from his spot between your legs, you could feel his fingers gripping your hips with bruising strength, keeping them in place while he was slurping your soul straight from your weeping pussy.

Your orgasm exploded and you called out Suguru’s name. He didn’t stop. He kept drinking, thirsty for more of you as your juices coated his tongue and the bottom of his handsome face.

“You really do taste fucking sweet,” he commented, getting up and crawling above you. His lips were on yours the moment he reached your face. He tasted the smoke and you tasted yourself in that kiss. It didn’t last long, but the intensity of it made you almost dizzy. “Let’s get you out of this uniform.”

 It took just few moments until you were completely bare underneath the heavy gaze of two men around you. Satoru was just in his underwear, the tent in them painfully apparent and you knew him well enough that he won’t be able to wait much longer, but what bothered you was the fact that Suguru was still completely clothed. He looked sexy in his dark outfit, but he can look sexy in it later.

“Aren’t you a tease—” you muttered, once he got up from the bed to drown the rest of the joint in what little of alcohol was left in one of your cups on the bedside table. “Take this off.” You demanded, coming up to your knees and pushing his hoodie up.

“How demanding,” he laughed but complied and you managed to just blink twice before his god-like figure presented itself to you. A muscular, large body beautifully decorated with a dragon tattoo that wrapped its tail around his right bicep and spread on his back. You couldn’t decide what to focus on – his impressive musculature, the ink on his skin or the fact that even though he still had his pants on, you could already feel yourself salivating.

Satoru was right behind you, swiping the angry tip of his cock up and down your folds, gathering your slick and making you shiver from the touch. He then pushed his girth into you, stretching you impossibly and pulling a quiet, whiny fuck straight out of your throat. It’s been a while since you’ve been having sex with anyone, not to say anyone with that size, but you couldn’t deny that the burn was delicious. It set all your senses on fire, the heatwave washed over you and once Gojo went with the first thrust, it reminded you how much you missed the physical act of intimacy with him.

“Can’t focus, pretty girl?”, Suguru brought your attention back to himself. His long fingers gently gathered all of your hair into a messy ponytail, and you got the hint immediately. As on cue, you unbuckled his pants, pushing them down almost too eagerly. “Good girl.”

The praise in his tone got you weak, you were already becoming a mess from how perfectly Satoru was fucking you right now, pounding his hips against yours in the mind-numbing manner. His cock hitting all of the sweet spots inside of you with each long stroke and that was enough to make you almost incapable of thinking straight, but your hands and mouth acted on its own.

Geto watched how your lips wrapped around his dick. The sight of you taking him into your mouth with such hunger was something he wanted to engrave onto his brain and if the picture was amazing, then there was no word to describe the feeling itself. Your soft, plush lips felt divine brushing along his sensitive shaft, your tongue dancing around his length made him almost lose his composure. You were a sight. And you made him feel so good, he could feel himself twitching in the hot, wet embrace of your mouth. You were sucking him as if your life was depending on it, as if it was your last supper and you wanted to devour it and every time his plump tip hit the back of your throat, he could feel you taking control over him.

“Isn’t she amazing?”, Gojo mumbled from behind you. His grip remained iron on your hips, the bruising force being the only thing that was grounding you now. You could feel yourself clenching around him, your juices were running down your thighs and the wet sounds of skin slapping against each other were filling the room.

“Oh, she is,” Geto confirmed, applying some force onto your head. The tug on your hair was enough to send you overboard and the vibration of your throat once you moaned were enough for him as well. You couldn’t tell who came first, and frankly, you couldn’t care less about it, as long as it felt so damn good.

“I, fuck— I told you,” Satoru panted out. His hips moved slower as he was sloppily riding the high out. You licked the cock in front of you clean, satisfied with the first course but hungry for more.

You shouldn’t allow all of this to happen. There was not a single argument that could justify everything that was happening right now – you shouldn’t sneak out to god-knows-whose room in your friend’s house and you absolutely shouldn’t sneak out there with not only your ex-boyfriend but also his friend. You couldn’t even remember how you agreed to that. Why have you agreed to that? You had no idea. Was it to talk?

You wouldn’t exactly call the way your body was being stuffed full by two cocks at the same time talking. You were squeezing Suguru’s shoulders as he was thrusting his hips up against yours. His body below you, laying flat on the bed made for a canvas for your nails to leave marks, but he didn’t seem to mind at all. He was kissing you with a mixture of passion and laziness, a smirk stayed prominent on his lips as he was swallowing your moans. The subtle taste of weed in his mouth got you wanting more of him. He felt perfect in every way, his movements were setting your nervous system on fire as the heat was spreading over your entire body, radiating from your core. You could feel Satoru’s fingers teasing your clit, you could feel his lips smearing wet trails along your spine. The way his hips were moving seemed to be perfectly in sync with the brunette.

You were so full of them, you never felt something like this before. The initial pain you felt when Gojo pushed his girth into your asshole was long gone now as he was pounding into you in complete unison with how Geto was moving. The sensation of being so incredibly full turned your brain into a heated mush, your body was trembling between them, electrocuted time after time with a sharp waves of white pleasure. Your vision was blurry, the stars covered most of it. You could no longer tell whose hands were where and your thighs were wet and sticky from all the seed that was being pumped into you, gushing out with every piston of their hips.

“You’re so perfect for us,” someone told you. A low, rasped out voice resounded right next to your ear, followed by a harsh bite onto your shoulder and the sudden wave of new pain that radiated from it pushed you over the edge. You were speeding, falling with no parachute. You couldn’t breathe for a moment as the climax was overtaking you. “Such a good girl, you’re making so much mess.”

“Oh god,” you whimpered, gasping for air as their thrusts picked a pace. You couldn’t form any coherent sentence as they were fucking the soul out of your body. Right after you came, they both came as well. Their cum coated your insides and leaked onto your thighs, dripping down as they pumped into you some more.

Gojo was first to pull out, spreading your cheeks and admiring how his white overflown your hole. The menacing grin spread across his face as he gripped your hips and lifted you off Suguru’s cock. The long-haired man sat up as you, led by your ex’s hands turned to straddle Geto’s lap. Your back was facing his chest as he pulled you back onto his shaft. All of his length sank right into your ass, pulling a moan right from your chest.

“Look at you, so gorgeous,” Satoru was in front of you, admiring for a moment your bouncing figure before his long fingers slipped into your cunt, curling in a way that got him pressing onto your oversensitive sweet spots. “Open your mouth for me.”

You barely registered his words, but your jaw dropped nonetheless. His cum coated digits slid right through your lips and you sucked on them, twirling your tongue around and tasting the mixture of your juices and their seeds. Suguru’s hands were kneading your breasts as his friend was playing with the mess between your thighs.

There was something deeply erotic in a way the white-haired man kept your gaze up. How he looked right into your eyes while you were being fucked by his best friend, how he enjoyed the way you gave them your body to play however they wanted. And it felt even more erotic when Satoru licked the lone drop of cum that escaped the corner of your mouth only to kiss you right after.

Geto was still slamming his pelvis up and you got stuck in the realm of pleasure, hanging somewhere between the movements of the cock in your ass and the lips over your own. You could feel your thighs trembling. Your body, still oversensitive from the last orgasm and yet, already entering the state of another. The wave of lustful relief now flowing dangerously close to your core, the knot in your stomach holding just barely and you squeezed Satoru’s hair, tugging at them harshly. You were struggling to breathe through the heavy kiss he was laying on your lips, but the sensation of it rendered you unable to fight it.

And then it hit you once again. The man below you filled you to the brim, tearing down the last bits of composure you had and your world shattered once the final climax. You felt as if the lust and desire were steaming off of all three of you. The breaths were mixed and the tastes concocted. As all three of you fell onto the bed, blissfully satisfied, you began to slowly regain your mind to the sound of a soft chuckle from your left side. Satoru. He had a habit of laughing when he was fulfilled – a sign of his happiness, the state nearing high. There was some gratefulness in it as well.

“How are you feeling?”, the question came from the right side, where Suguru seemed to already plan how to take care of the entire mess. He kissed your shoulder softly.

“Good,” you replied to him, watching as he gathered himself up from the bed.

“You rest a little bit longer; I’ll go get washed first and then you two.”

[marasmadness]

Would you be interested in doing a one shot with jealous/possessive Elle Greenaway and Jennifer Jareau fighting over f!reader? They compete over her and eventually f!reader just gets fed up and is like, both is good :)

PUSH AND PULL

Jennifer Jareau x fem!reader x Elle Greenaway

CW: Jealousy, smut, threesome, gay confusion (from about everyone except Elle), face sitting, strap-ons, slight praise & a little bit of fluff.

WC: 3315

~

“Tilt your head up,” JJ instructed, cupping your chin. You closed your eyes as she painted a black stripe of eyeliner across your eyelid. You were sitting on the floor of her living room with makeup sprawled across the entirety of her coffee table after she requested that you let her do your makeup before going out tonight.

The rest of the team would be coming as well, but all of them knew that you and JJ had been more closely connected than the rest of them. Shortly after you transferred to the BAU, JJ became your best friend. The two of you were inseparable. She had invited you over early to hang out at her place before you met everyone else at the restaurant. Tonight held more anticipation than most team gatherings: There would be another guest joining you for dinner, a returning agent.

According to JJ, Elle had been an agent quite a few years ago. She was talented, but cases happened and got to her, ultimately ending in her resignation. JJ had seemed somewhat close to her, even with the short amount of time they had spent together. She thought Elle might’ve gone on to be a lawyer, but she wasn’t positive. They hadn’t spoken in a while. From the team's stories, the woman sounded incredibly fascinating, and you were eager to meet her.

The two of you arrived just on time to find Hotch with Rossi already at a table and Penelope and Emily right behind you. Morgan had offered to pick Elle up from the hotel she was staying at while in town. A waitress appeared with waters just as they walked in. Cheers and greetings rose around the table. Morgan raised his ends dramatically, as if the excitement were directed at him and not the stunning woman to his left.

She was still in a red button-down and blazer. The click of her heeled boots turned the heads of their table in her direction as she entered. Her hair was a rosewood brown, resting in waves on her shoulders. Her deep brown eyes and sharp cheekbones that sloped down to her pursed lips produced an air of intimidation. Her face broke out into a smile, and she circled the table with hugs and greetings. You, Rossi, and Emily were the three unfamiliar to her, but she greeted you warmly. She brushed her hand along her shoulder before choosing the seat directly across from you, sending Morgan to the opposite end.

Crossing her arms, JJ leaned on the table in Elle’s direction. "So, what have you been up to? I told y/n I vaguely remember plans for law school, but we haven’t heard from you in forever.”

Elle nodded, swirling the ice in her drink. "I did! I graduated five years ago and then joined a firm started by another ex-FBI agent. It's been rewarding. I miss you guys, but this is a better fit for me.” Her demeanor was admirably confident as she elaborated on a few of her most memorable cases, including the case that returned her to near Quantico

JJ kept asking the questions, but Elle’s eyes kept darting over to land on you. Eventually, once JJ had finished the typical catch-up small talk, Elle turned her attention to you. "Sorry, I came in a bit of a flurry, and you never got to introduce yourself. I know Emily took my place, so how’d you end up at the BAU?"Her questions were simple, but the way her attention was directly and entirely on you made your face flush for some unknown reason. Her chin was in her palm, leaning her elbow on the table as she hung on to your every word.

"Well, JJ was on a case overseas. I took her place. Eventually she returned when Emily returned, but I ended up sticking around anyway. I guess I made a good enough impression.” You shrugged your shoulders, sharing a brief smile with JJ.

"Nobody wanted to get rid of her,” she teased, leaning in toward the table as she whispered.

Elle laughed softly with the two of you. "I can see why,’ she said smoothly. Your lips parted in soft surprise from the sudden and effortless compliment. Elle’s lips just curled into a quick smirk before she began twisting the silver rings decorating her hands.

JJ noticed your frozen stare and brought her hand down on top of your knee, rubbing it lightly. Morgan and Emily became rowdy as usual, attracting the attention of everyone at the table. Laughter filled the booth in the corner as compliments and jabs were thrown out of mouths all in one statement. Things settled down, only slightly, when the food arrived. A few nonchalant conversations continued, but it was mostly the scrape of forks against plates. Everybody was starving. The drinks kept coming throughout the night, and everybody’s inhibitions fell to the floor. Penelope had dragged an extra chair around to sit by Morgan and Emily. Rossi and Hotch had completely left the table, engaged in a conversation with the band, who were currently taking a break. With empty space in the booth, Elle took the opportunity to slide in next to you.

Both Elle and JJ were leaning forward slightly. "So, Elle, is there anyone new, a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

Elle’s eyes darted to you for the briefest moment. Clasping her hands in her lap, she answered the question pointedly before twisting the conversation back to JJ. "No, nothing at the moment, but if I’m interested in someone, I let them know. I think it’s silly to waste your chance with someone out of fear. And what about you? Did anything ever come from that thing with-” she froze, trying to retrieve his name. "Oh, Will!”

JJ’s cheek hollowed in with distaste from old memories, and having to admit that things hadn’t worked out. "No, that ended a while ago; it just wasn’t a good match."

The fuse of a growing tension had been lit, but you had yet to notice the tight lips and slight eyerolls exchanged between them. You hadn’t been looking for tension from them in the first place; JJ had mentioned she loved Elle when she was at the BAU and had missed her.

Elle frequently sought you out through the night, constantly starting conversations. "Oh, hang on, your necklace is twisted.” She leaned toward you, her hands brushed against your neck as you adjusted the thin gold chains hanging from your neck. You froze as her hand lingered lightly against your skin, and you could smell hints of her deep cherry perfume from your close proximity.

She only pulled away when JJ’s hand clamped down on your shoulder. "Hey, run to the restroom with me?” You were up and out of your seat with the tug of her hand before you nodded. Leaning on the sink, you frowned, watching JJ become obsessive over every inch of her appearance, something she only did when she was nervous.

"Are you okay? You seem a little on edge tonight."

Her face cracked into a small smile. "Yeah, I’m okay, just feeling a bit off. You notice everything.” Her smile turned into a real one, and she wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you in for a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for checking in on me.”

Elle slid back against the seat so you could slide back into the booth when you returned to the table. As you squeeze by with your hands braced on the table, you feel Elle’s hands drift up to your lower back, sending a flurry of butterflies up in your stomach. Her hands fell back into her lap as you sat down, but you caught a small smirk on her face.

Eventually the waiter started to linger around the table. You got the hint and started passing around the bills. The team walked out in a huddle, shielded from the cold, dropping everyone off at the cars. Once you reached Emily’s car, you were left alone with JJ and Elle. Morgan and Penelope had gotten distracted, lingering in the entryway. "Here, we can take you home,” you suggested without hesitation. Pulling open the door, you stepped back, allowing Elle to climb into the back seat.

"Thanks, love,” she said, squeezing your arm that she was still clinging to.

JJ became excessively touchy for the rest of the car ride. Her hand rested on your thigh permanently, and you slowly rubbed her hand up and down your leg at every stoplight. Elle seemed perfectly content in the back, focused on her text messages, while JJ started talking about what the two of you might do this weekend or breezily joining a conversation when she found a smooth opening. The fact that she wasn’t as quick to fall into JJ’s jealous state was irritating your best friend. She knew you could be quickly defensive at times, even when it was silly, but her head just wouldn't let it go when it came to you. She had always held your dating partners to higher standards than her other friends, even though very few of them ever became serious. Contrary to when she first joined the BAU as the teams communications liaison, she enjoyed time spent with you individually much more than team gatherings.

As you approached the hotel, Elle leaned forward by your shoulder, guiding you toward the parking lot of the building she was staying in. While gathering up her stuff, she stopped with her hand on the handle. "Do you guys want to come in for a moment? The best I can offer you is coffee and vending machine snacks, but I’d like to get to know you more in a quiet setting.”

“Sure!”

“ Actual-” JJ stopped when she heard the excitement in your voice and decided to remain quiet with difficulty. She took a deep breath, got out, and jogged to catch up to you and Elle, who was waiting with the door held open.

The elevator ride up was awkward to say the least. Nobody talked or barely breathed, which actually made it twice as unbearable. You were stuck between wanting to spend time with your best friend and comforting newcomers and also feeling stuck between the tension that had followed the three of you around all night but not being able to figure out its cause.

"The coffee station is down the hall if anybody wants some." Elle trailed off as she dug through her purse for the hotel’s key card.

"I can go grab three,”you offered.

"Thank you so much; it’s three rooms down on the right."

You shuffled down the mall to pour up cups for the three of you while Elle let JJ inside. Quickly pressing on three lids, you cautiously headed back down the hall. Elle’s door was still cracked open a bit, and you could hear their voices from inside.

You were ready to walk right in, but something about their tone stopped you. The jealousy and tight-lipped questions from the rest of the night seemed to have disappeared, and they were talking softly like old friends again.

"How long have you known?"

You recognized Elle’s voice as the slightly lower one and felt bad for eavesdropping, but your curiosity got the better of you. Known what? JJ told you everything, or at least that’s what you assumed.

You heard JJ sigh, and she took a moment to reply. You imagined her resting her head against her hand, like she did whenever she anxiously planned out her answer. "I honestly didn’t know until tonight. I thought I just liked her as a friend, but when the possibility of her being with someone else came up, I realized that I wanted her.”

You heard Elle release a heavy breath. Her voice became quieter, as if she had moved farther away from the door. "You have to tell her, Jay. You’ve been the closest of friends for, like, 8 years now?”

“I hate those kinds of conversations. They’re also so awkward, and I’m not good at expressing my feelings. And how would I even know if we have the attraction and chemistry aspect, not just a romantic connection?

Elle chuckled. "Sex, JJ, that would be the answer.

"Ugh, but sex with someone who I called a friend all of ten minutes before has always been awkward. It always seems restrained or calculated. I would just want to see if we could... Have fun, you know? I can’t believe I’m telling you all of this. You still have that effect on people.

"What, the one that makes people want to confess to a crush on their best friend and sex life? I think that’s just you babes.” High-pitched laughter from both of them blended together.

"If you want something new and exciting, then initiate something new and exciting. I think it would be a terrible mistake to pass up the possibility of something working out between you. I mean, have you seen her?

There was a long silence and then an exchange of gasps between them that made you think they might be having a conversation with their eyes.

“No, are you serious?”

You began to only be able to hear clips of the conversation. The rest was only in barely audible whispers that you were unable to discern.

"I mean, only if you’re interested. No strings, of course; I’ll be leaving. I do happen to be great at loosening people up, and I’m not saying I wouldn’t enjoy it. I also completely understand if your answer is no, jealousy is complicated."

Someone began approaching you from the other end of the hotel hallway, and you didn’t want to be caught seemingly eavesdropping on a hotel guest's conversation. Slipping inside, you shut the door behind you loud enough to announce your return.

"Hey darling, you can just set them on the counter over there.” Elle called out from her spot, sprawled out on the corner of her couch. JJ sat on the other end. Neither of their faces hid the effects of their conversation well, but while Elle’s was a deepening sense of confidence, JJ’s was a spreading blush and eyes darting back and forth. "Was the machine slow again? You took a minute."

You shifted your weight back and forth on the heels of your feet as you debated telling them you had overheard. Your eyes darted to the hotel door that had been propped open, possibly purposefully. Maybe you were reading into it, but you had seen the caution and paranoia that takes over FBI agents even in their personal lives. Elle should be no exception, and wouldn’t live hotel doors in the center of the city propped open. “ I um overheard snippets of your conversation and it sounded serious, so I decided I’d wait outside until you were finished.

Elle smiled softly, glancing at JJ to watch her expression just as you were. She went through every emotion in about twenty seconds. Her face grew pale with the natural instinct of being overheard, but then she almost looked more relieved. Possibly one less awkward conversation out of the way, she didn’t have to hide it like a secret from you any longer, and the ball was now in your court.

"We've been friends for years JJ. I think you already know what my response will be. I’m open to it, all of it.” The words rolled off your tongue as you tilted your head, and both women straightened up with attention.

"God,” Elle chuckled under her breath, sipping at the drink you handed her.

You smirked, tilting your head toward the bedroom a few steps away, and reveled at the way JJ’s eyes darkened with desire. Both women were silently up and behind you with soft footsteps as you climbed on the bed. They stood on the edge while you kneeled into the mattress.

Elle pulled off JJ's jacket, letting it fall to the floor. Goosebumps rose along the back of the blonde’s neck. You reached forward and tugged her closer to you by her belt, causing her breath to hiccup. You undid her belt painfully slowly while she tangled her hands in your hair. Elle was slightly turned away, undressing in front of the nightstand. Your heartbeat fluttered at the sight of a harness hanging from her hips. JJ tugged on your hair, sending sparks through your scalp. "Let me eat you out baby,” you begged, dragging your nails down her thighs with a cheshire grin.

“Sit on her face,” Elle challenged as she orchestrated your positions all while climbing up in between your legs.

JJ seemed hesitant to have her weight balanced above your mouth and gripped the headboard harshly. With gentle reassurance, you guide her downwards until she gasped at the contact of your lips brushing against her cunt. Elle spurred you on, dragging her red faux cock along your slick folds. Your hands grabbed at JJ’s ass, enjoying the soft pants that fell from her lips as your tongue explored her. Flicking her clit sent quivers through her thighs, and she moved her hands down to your chest, kneading your breasts.

It didn’t take you long to realize Elle was reacting along with you. Every time your lips closed around JJ’s clit, stimulating the sensitive bundle of nerves, Elle thrust into you with a bruising grip on your hips. Each of your movements drew JJ and consequently, yourself closer to an orgasm.

Elle’s pace suddenly quickened, causing you to moan. JJ cried out from the vibrations, digging red crescents into your skin. "Fuck,” she panted. "You're doing so good baby,” she praised, wiping the mix of juices from the corner of your mouth. Bringing her fingers to her mouth, she hollowed out her cheeks as she sucked them clean. Returning your mouth to her cunt with fresh motivation, you ran your tongue along her slit, and her thighs clenched over your ears. All sound became muted by the sound of blood rushing in your head and JJ’s murmuring off soft praises as she ran her fingers over all of your body that she could reach.

You felt your legs stretch as Elle rested your heels on her shoulders. The new angle allowed her to pound in with you at a breathtaking new angle. Just as the rough movement of her hips rocking against yours was about to transform into pain, a smooth, ecstatic feeling left your lungs traveling through your limbs with a hazy sensation.

JJ elicited a combination of moans and satisfied whimpers as her body tensed and her cum coated your lips with a trembling orgasm. Her toned thighs relaxed from alongside your head and she ran her thumbs down your flushed cheeks. When she leaned backwards, Elle supported her easily, rubbing her hands up and down JJ’s legs from behind her.

Untangling yourselves, the three of you collapsed into the sheets with heartbeats pounding out of your chests and the quick rise and fall of your lungs. After a moment, JJ rolled over, tucking her arm around your waist. Lifting her head, she peered over your head to Elle, who was smiling at JJ’s soft act of affection from across the bed.

Your eyes were fluttering in and out, not focused enough to read their lips as they mouthed back and forth to each other. Elle, on the other hand, smirked at JJ’s exaggerated mouth shapes to convey an "Oh my god.”

Elle tipped her head with her everlasting confidence, responding with a silent, "You're welcome, that was…” She was unable to string her words together for the first time all night. JJ grinned adoringly as she rested her head on the pillow beside yours, curling her chin into your neck. Your eyelids finally sank completely closed upon the touch of her warm embrace.

[gayelderstourney]

OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 1

Propaganda:

Gerald Robotnik/Black Doom:

Scientist who wants to blow up the world and his evil alien boyfriend

Dude they had a son together and his name is shadow the hedgehog

They created Shadow the hedgehog together. Yes Shadow the hedgehog. This is canon. Theyre also super divorced just trust me on this.their old man yaoi is real

we as a society would not have shadow the hedgehog without their old man yaoi

old man fucks alien so he can bring his daughter back from space safely, gives birth to sad gay hedgehog

you KNOW they fucked

they’re shadow the hedgehogs dads. Like canonically. black doom is an alien god guy and gerald is eggmans grandpa who didn’t love him enough and gave him daddy issues. he also went insane after the government killed his granddaughter (who he loved instead of eggman) and tried to kill humanity :3 these two are like bitter exes to me. they’re both dead. the devil from the bible fucked that old man

Black Doom and Gerald Robotnik are Shadow the Hedgehogs dads. Gerald is a (silly, slightly insane) old scientist and Black Doom is a two thousand year old alien who wants to destroy the Earth. Its not canon but Shadow's gay dads mean everything to me. They kiss and hold hands on the space colony.

IM DOING MY PART!!! GERALDOOM SWEEP BAYBEEEEEEE!!! GO SHADOW’S GAY DADS!

Sheo/The Nailsmith:

It's really nice because you unlock it after the nailsmith asks you to kill him with the pure nail and you refuse and walk away. He then says he was wandering hallownest without purpose until he found sheo who helped him discover that there was more to life than just one calling. These two are probably the only characters in the game to have a genuinely happy ending

The nailsmith loses his purpose in life after finishing his ultimate masterpiece, his lifelong goal, the pure nail. He requests the protagonist to try the nail on him, but If you refuse, he will find sheo who helps him to find new meaning in life and realise that there is more to life by teaching him different crafts. They can then be seen sculping figurines together, and sheo is also painting the nailsmith.They share a common love for art and crafts and inspire each other. Sheo's story is that he was a nailmaster, but got tired of it, and put down his nail to pick up a paintbrush. I think it's beautiful that he could help the nailsmith realise what he himself did. They both also used to live in solitude without even realising how lonely they were, and I think it's cute tuhat they can do art together now :]

They are two bugs retired from their career and making better lives for themselves and they’re gay about it. Nailsmith believes at first that he has nothing left after creating the perfect nail and asks the knight to strike him down, and if you don’t, he meets Sheo, a retired nailmaster finding a new calling in painting and sculpting. They find a shared love in creating things and Nailsmith finds a new calling in art as well. The achievement you get for uniting them is called “Happy Couple”

Gay bugs gay bugs gay bugs (Cw mention of suicide) They both used to pursue their one passion in life: forging the perfect nail (sword) for the Nailsmith and the art of combat for Sheo. Sheo realized he could just leave that life when he lost his passion for fighting, and he found himself a new purpose in life: art. However, he always seemed very lonely, completely isolated by all other bugs in his hidden house in the middle of a thorn jungle. When The Nailsmith achieved his goal and forged the perfect nail, he lost his purpose in life and his will to live. He asks the player to kill him. However, if the player refuses, he can later be found in Sheo's house, modelling for Sheo or sculpting figurines with him. He thanks the player for not fulfilling his request, because he has found a new calling in life here, making art together with Sheo. They both express how happy they are to no longer be alone. This also gives you the "Happy Couple" achievement, confirming that they are a couple.

THEY'RE CANON!!! They're fucking canon!!! You can talk to them at one point after doing a Bunch of Stuff to get them to meet each other and you get an achievement called "Happy Couple"!!! Gotta love old man yuri

[latenightdaydreams]

Shower Time (MLM)

MDNI🔞

>CW: Masc/amab, p in a, handjob, cum shot, MLM

For more: Master list

1.4k word count

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You joined KorTac about eight months ago to advance your career. Everyone had been decently friendly, except one. Colonel König. His gaze would pierce through you constantly. Never saying a word to you even when you would talk to him. He would simply look down at you and walk away. He always made you feel small even though you by no means are a short man, he is just a fucking behemoth.

At first you tried to not take it so personally, maybe he was just not a friendly guy. Yet, you would see him have no issues talking to other soldiers and would never just straight up ignore them. You begin to assume he is just homophobic; he did see your ex-boyfriend come to base and visit occasionally.

Today was like every other day and you end your day at the gym. In grey sweats and a tight black shirt, you finish your workouts by doing a light jog on the treadmill. In the mirrors surrounding the gym, you can see König using free weights and glaring at you. Being intimidated by him, you keep your gaze away from his. Once your cool down was over you got off the treadmill and made a quick beeline to the locker room door.

Walking to your locker you grab your clean uniform and underwear before walking back to the showers. You set your clothing down on a bench across from the shower and step in. The sound of the water drowns out the sound of the locker room door closing and locking, unaware König just stepped inside after you.

König sits down on the bench next to your clothing. He grabs your bright blue underwear and inspects it. His mind was wondering how it would look on your tight little ass. His eyes wandered over to the shower while he continues to hold your underwear. The blurry reflection of you as you shower is a tease. His eyes lingering on the bulge he can notice until the water shuts off.

As you open the shower door you stall and look petrified as you see König sitting with your underwear. A hand moves down to cover your dick and balls and you begin the breath deeply. With slow steps you get out of the shower and reach for your towel, wrapping it around your waist.

“Not going to say anything private?” His eyes travel over your body once more.

“Wha- what do you want?” Your voice not as strong as you were hoping it would sound.

A smirk appeared across Königs lips under his mask as he doesn’t answer your question. He stands and walks towards you, his body soon looming over you as he looks down into your eyes.

“You’re…gay, right?” He asked finally.

A familiar fear in your heart conjured as you answer, “yes.”

“Good,” König brings his hand up to your face and softly caresses your lower lip with his thumb. His eyes exploring your face like he is trying to commit it all to memory. His eyes finally settling back on yours. “Are you interested? In me?”

The fear changed as you realized he doesn’t hate you, but the opposite. You swallow hard and maintain eye contact with him. You had never thought of him in that way due to all of the fear, but you’d be lying if you said you never wonder how big his cock is. You give a small nod.

König lifts his mask slightly and leans down to kiss your lips tenderly at first, as if he is hesitant. Then more passionately the second time your lips clashed. One hand cupped your face gently to hold you in place as his other went down your abdomen, his fingers gliding over your chest hair and soft midsection before touching the fabric of your towel. With one tug, he pulls your towel off and lets it fall to the floor.

The kiss breaks as König takes a step back and looks at your body again. This time your cock is fully erect with a bead of precum dripping off the tip. You feel your face get hot with excitement and nervousness as he looks at you.

“Come here,” he gestures with his hand as he walks over to the sinks. You follow without asking any questions.

König moves your body so that you are facing the mirrors and he stands behind you. All you can see are his eyes as they are glued to your ass before moving to meet your gaze in the mirror. You can hear him begin to undo his belt and pants before the heavy fabric falls to the floor around his ankles. You can hear the crinkling sound of a condom wrapper as your eyes watch him in the reflection. Wanting to see how big he is, you turn your head slightly.

“Eyes ahead,” he demands but in a kind voice, “you’ll feel it soon enough.”

You listen and continue to watch him in the reflection.

One of his hands caresses your back to the curve of your back as he pushes you down just a little. He spits on your asshole and uses a finger to rub it around, sticking it in your ass slightly before pulling away. His hand goes to his cock to guide it to your hole. His gaze locks with yours in the mirror as he pushes forward. The head of his cock begins to stretch your asshole. His eyes are watching you to make sure he doesn’t hurt you. He begins to rock his hips back and forth gently to let you get used to his size.

“Fuck you’re tight…” His voice quivers with pleasure.

“Oh god,” you let out a loud gasping moan as he pushes himself all the way in, feeling his full size. He lingers there for a second as you breathe and relax your body.

“You okay, Prinz?” His hands run along your ass, feeling the shape and enjoying your soft skin.

“Mhm, yeah.” You moan in reply. With that he nods and begins to pull his cock back before shoving it back in with more force this time, generating a loud moan from your lips. His pace became harder and more determined.

Your hand slides down to your cock, desperately wanting attention as König fucks you. His hand moves around and pushes yours off.

“Spit,” he says to you, holding his hand in front of your mouth. Your gaze goes to his as you spit in the palm of his hand. He pulls away and begins to stroke your cock with his large warm hands. “Your cock would feel so good in me…” he whispers to no one in particular lost in the pleasure of the moment.

You become a babbling mess as your body becomes overwhelmed with the sensation of his hand pumping your cock and his meaty monster cock filling your tight ass. The sound of his broad hips slapping against your supple ass filling the room. You can see your balls tighten as your hands grasp the counters until your knuckles turn white.

Without warning your cock begins to spurt milky white beads of cum all over the floor and Königs hand.

“That’s it, cum for me my pretty boy…” he groans out. Moving his hand off of your cock, he brings his hand under his mask and licks off the small bit of your cum on his fingers and palm. He moves that hand to your hip and he grips you tightly. His motion begins to pick up even more as he brutally pounds into your ass chasing his climax now.

“On your knees,” he pulls out gently but fast and pulls the condom from his cock.

You quickly turn around and get down on your knees in front of him. Your eyes widen as you finally see what was just stretching your ass and he is truly gods gift to man. His hand pumps his dick as the other one grasps your chin, holding your face in place.

Soft groans leave his mouth as you instinctively jerk back from the feeling of the first rope of warm sticky cum shoot out and hit your face. You open your mouth as more shoots out, the salty taste of him gracing your tastebuds. He guides his pulsating cock to your mouth as you wrap your lips around the tip and suck, milking him for the last bit of cum he had.

He looks down at you from behind his mask as he breathes heavily. His hand gently caresses your jawline as he looks into your eyes with more than lust.

From that day on, König was attached to your hip.

[theshoesofatiredman]

I'm revisiting a part of The High School Survival Guide: Making the Most of the Best Time of Your Life (so far) by Adam Palmer. It's a Christian book despite the fact that the title makes it seem totally areligious, and I read parts of it when I was in high school. It was the first time I ever read about being gay in a book. I found a free version online and while I didn't think the Bible could shock me anymore my mouth dropped open at this:

Apparently the MSG version of this passage really says the quiet part out loud. Gay people aren't even human / lose the knowledge of how to be human. Not sure how that works. There's such a dissonance between the tone of this verse and the tone of the text in the book too.

GEE I WONDER WHY??? How strange that Christians, who believe their sacred text claims that homosexual acts strip people of God, love, and their humanity, view homosexuality as 'icky' and 'gross.' In fact, I would think they'd think much worse in that scenario and treat gay people far worse. In fact, it kinda seems like you're downplaying the absolutely brutal treatment and systemic discrimination of gay people that was carried out in the name of Jesus.

And all of this is being aimed at (presumably Christian) teenagers who think they might be gay. There's no real advice here other than to surrender to god and to seek accountability.

I was keenly aware as a gay Christian that I was at the center of a culture war I did not want to be a part of. People out beyond my religious community were fighting for an acceptance and celebration of homosexuality that I thought was harmful and sinful. People inside my religious community had all kinds of incorrect ideas about gay people and I didn't think there was much space for me to be "out of the closet" even if I stayed single, celibate, and god-fearing. And I had no idea what to do about any of it.

I didn't come out to anyone until after high school. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed, and the weight was still heavy. God did not make it easier, did not lift the burden of homosexuality from me. I had plenty of accountability in my life, constantly watched by helicopter parents with Internet filters, confessing sin regularly in men's groups (both before and after I started to tell people I 'struggled with same-sex attraction). 'Accountability' only served to intensify my shame.

The only time things got easier was when I started to take God out of the equation, when I started to see my sexuality as a part of myself to embrace rather than excise. Christians will drone on and on about how Christ sets people free from their sins. In my experience, to be free of my sin I had to first be free of Christ.

[fanby-fckry]

You know what? Fuck you. *un-linears your timeline*

#unreality cw #meta post #hellaverse #hazbin hotel #helluva boss

( 6 notes )

⬜️ voxblrverse-meta Follow

1 min. ago

Special thanks to @helluvatired, @angelsandemons, and @the-great-horse-cocktail for co-creating the Stolitz Meme format

Source: voxblr.vox #unreality cw #meta post #hellaverse #hazbin hotel #helluva boss

( 6 notes )

📰 stolitzmemenews Follow

Jan 7

The Externination Countdown Clock Tower in Pentagram City has dropped its count from 358 to 176, putting the next Sinner Extermination at July 1st (Gregorian).

Source Link

#stolitz meme #stolitz meme news ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination day 2 ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo

( 112,151 notes )

🧪 mad-scienfish Follow

Jan 7

🐍 x-hiss-lord-x ☑️ ☑️ 🦀 👟 Follow

Jan 7

( 10,988 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jan 7

petition to call it “extermination 2 electric boogaloo”

🎀 moth-gf Follow

Jan 7

why?

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jan 7

why not?

🍒 bomb-bitchin-babe Follow

Jan 7

Yeah, why not? If we’re gonna die, we might as well have some fucking fun with it.

🐸 jest-fizzarolli Follow

Jan 7

That’s hilarious, where do I sign?

🎭 i-put-the-bi-in-bipolar Follow

Jan 7

Hey op, I just wanted to thank you for keeping your sense of humor. As someone who struggles not to go completely off the rails when shit goes wrong, it’s honestly really helpful to see another sinner who’s able to be so nonchalant about this whole thing.

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jan 7

I mean, if you can’t joke about the upcoming massacre, what can ya do?

( 50,866 notes )

🏚️ theendisnear6669 Follow

Jan 7

PANIC!!! RIOT!!

🏚️ theendisnear6669 Follow

Jan 7

We’re all gonna FUCKING DIE!!!1!!

🏚️ theendisnear6669 Follow

Jan 7

Stop fucking joking it’s not a joke WE ARE GOING TO DIE

↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination day 2 #i am NOT FUCKING calling it extermination 2 electric boogaloo #the end is near

( 8 notes )

💊 chillpilled-vibesmaxxer Follow

Jan 7

i cannot handle all the fucking doomerism on my dash right now. quit it with the negativity.

🏚️ theendisnear6669 Follow

Jan 7

Doomerism? Negativity? There is a SECOND EXTERMINATION DAY in 6 months. Exorcists are going to descend from the heavens armed with angelic steel to KILL US ALL.

💀 be-gay-do-crym Follow

Jan 7

doomsday district residents engaging in doomerism. fork found in kitchen.

📢 sinnerjusticewarrior Follow

Jan 7

Um, just took a look at op’s blog. He���s hellborn. Check your fucking privilege; we don’t all get a free pass from the exorcists’ blades.

📏 baphometric-system Follow

Jan 7

Did you just tell an imp to check his privilege? That’s pretty tone deaf, considering imps are below sinners in hell’s social hierarchy.

💊 chillpilled-vibesmaxxer Follow

Jan 7

can we please not play oppression olympics on my fucking post? this is like the opposite of what i wanted…

🎶 relevantsonglyrics Follow

Jan 7

You can’t always get what you want

“You Can't Always Get What You Want” by The Rolling Stones (1969)

🏚️ theendisnear6669 Follow

Jan 7

K

📢 sinnerjusticewarrior Follow

Jan 7

U

( 512 notes )

📰 stolitzmemenews Follow

Jun 31

The Hazbin Hotel is mounting a defense against the upcoming Exorcist attack.

Princess Charlotte “Charlie” Morningstar, the princess’s consort: Vaggie, Alastor the Radio Demon, ex-Overlord: Husk, adult film star: Angel Dust, self-proclaimed “spunky powerhouse”: Cherri Bomb, notable kingpin: Sir Pentious, and a group of sentient eggs, are all suspected to join the battle.

Princess Morningstar has recruited a group of cannibals to aid them in battle, and the two factions have been seen training together and fortifying the Hazbin Hotel in preparation for the upcoming attack. It is unclear whether or not Cannibal Town’s Overlord, Rosie, will be fighting alongside them.

Source Link

📺 voxblr4k ☑️ ☑️ ☑️ Follow

Jun 31

They’re gonna fucking die! 🤣🤣🤣

🧁 rad-velvette-cake ☑️ 🧵 Follow

Jun 31

F’s in the chat, boys

📺 voxblr4k ☑️ ☑️ ☑️ Follow

Jun 31

The F stands for “FUCK YOU ALASTOR!!!”

↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo

( 85,790 notes )

📰 stolitzmemenews Follow

Jul 1

Multiple Exorcists slain in the battle at the Hazbin Hotel, using their own angelic steel weapons. Archangel Adam quoted, “That's how they can kill us? With our own weapons?! Fucking weak, dude.”

Source Link

💀 be-gay-do-crym Follow

Jul 1

#stolitz meme ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo

( 143,886 notes )

🐑 lambchop-luvrgirl Follow

Jan 26

i had the weirdest experience today

🐑 lambchop-luvrgirl Follow

Jan 26

i was closing up shop when three eggs (literal eggs, not the trans kind) came right up to me and started talking about angels? specifically about killing angels. you know, the famously un-killable angels? and then they started singing??

then their father(?) chaperone(?) handler(?) gathered them up and apologized for bothering me. said they’re very into conspiracy theories and that i shouldn’t worry about it.

i’m not… worried… exactly. but it sure was strange.

🐑 lambchop-luvrgirl Follow

Jul 1

what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

🐸 jest-fizzarolli Follow

Jul 1

↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo #apollo’s dodgeball #jester’s privilege

( 91,253 notes )

📰 stolitzmemenews Follow

Jul 1

Alastor the Radio Demon was struck in the chest with an angelic steel weapon during his fight with Adam the archangel, and is now missing in action after using his shadow-warp ability to escape.

His current whereabouts and condition are unknown.

Source Link

📺 voxblr4k ☑️ ☑️ ☑️ Follow

Jul 1

HAHAHAHA Get FUCKED Alastor!!!1!

#i am sooo glad i didn’t delete this hellsite #it’s worth it just for this #this is BETTER THAN SEX ↯ #alastor the radio demon ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo

( 42,506 notes )

📰 stolitzmemenews Follow

Jul 1

King Lucifer Morningstar has joined the battle at the Hazbin Hotel, and is engaged in one v one combat with Adam the archangel. King Morningstar appears to be unarmed, but is kicking ass regardless.

Source Link

🐝 queen-bee-lzebub Follow

Jul 1

Whoo! Get it Luci!

#short king ftw!! ↯ #lucifer morningstar ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo

( 54,033 notes )

🎭 i-put-the-bi-in-bipolar Follow

Jul 1

Is it just me? Or is Lucifer kinda 👀

🎭 i-put-the-bi-in-bipolar Follow

Jul 1

I will not simp for the Devil. I will not simp for the Devil. I will not simp for the-

💀 be-gay-do-crym Follow

Jul 1

dude, don’t you already simp for the radio demon?

🎭 i-put-the-bi-in-bipolar Follow

Jul 1

Adsfgsvdstdd SHUT UP!

#you attack me like this on my own blog??? #and i don’t “simp for the radio demon” #i just think his voice is pretty #and his teeth are sharp #and he’s hot covered in blood #including his own #and probably mine #…if i still had blood… #and ok crymini maybe you have a point #beloved mutuals ↯ #alastor the radio demon ↯ #lucifer morningstar ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo

( 12 notes )

📰 stolitzmemenews Follow

Jul 1

Archangel Adam confirmed dead after being stabbed in the back by the Hazbin Hotel’s housekeeper, Niffty.

Source Link

💥 blitz-the-o-is-silent Follow

Jul 1

well fuck good 4 her

💥 blitz-the-o-is-silent Follow

Jul 1

wait how did u get this pic?

( 110,934 notes )

⬜️ voxblrverse-meta Follow

23 hr. ago

Fanby’s Fake Dash Masterpost

The @.stolitzmemenews posts are not canon to the voxblrverse for obvious, fourth wall-breaking/anachronism reasons, but this was fun. :3

Thanks again, @/helluvatired, @/angelsandemons, and @/the-great-horse-cocktail for your work on the Stolitz Meme format (don’t wanna tag y’all twice).

I also inserted my hellsona, Dual, for funsies, so if you were wondering who tf voxblr user @.i-put-the-bi-in-bipolar is, that’s your answer.

The other new accounts are mostly one-off randos that probably won’t show up again, but there are two that represent specific characters. Send your guesses in the tags (or just check the soon-to-be-updated meta post, lol).

[j-onedrabbles]

𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒙

✧ REQUESTED BY: @slayhyunjin ✧   PAIRING: SKZ X READER ✧   CW: ARGUEMENT, CURSING, FLUFF ENDINGS ✧   SS: 16 ✧   NOTE: text post thats all my brain can proccess at the moment and i didn't, again, have brain power to name a character so ex is referred to as (name)

BANG CHAN + LEE KNOW

CHANGBIN + HYUNJIN

HAN + FELIX

SEUNGMIN + I.N.

M. LIST ✧ TIP JAR

T A G S ✧ @junebug032 @the-sweetest-rose @hanjingin @hyunjinshairband01 @miintmochii @ohish @changbinisabigboy @dreamingaboutjisung @tattywood @stepout-09-15 @cello--190 @just-randomm-stuff @greysweaters @hazyspirts @mhasimp666 @slay-and-gay @smally97 @bloom4yu @itstorimf @linoyouknow @fjseung @jungsodesjoyyy @jjwhorehouse @carinathefairy @litepowee @babyphotos @inniecore @jeonginssa @dolceem @stvrfir3 @tasteskz-sworld @ultimatestayandminoronce @seungincore @tinyelfperson @greyyeti @dimpledsatan @camixiez @chansbabygirlsstuff @thatlonelyalto @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @donut-crazs @meloryme @rubyshoedpixie

if you wanna be added to my tag list, comment, dm, send me an ask or fill out this form to be added

© 2023 jonedrabbles. Please do not copy, translate, or republish my works anywhere.

[dragonsareawesome123]

Hey, Nancy Drew CW fandom! Do you guys want to watch another teen supernatural drama about found family and young people solving crimes that uses supernatural storylines to tackle irl issues that young people go through? Then you should all check out Dead Boy Detectives on Netflix! It's a show based on comics created by Neil Gaiman and Matt Wagner and is about two teenage ghosts named Edwin and Charles who run a detective agency that investigates supernatural crimes and helps other ghosts move on to the afterlife. In one of their cases, they meet a teenage girl named Crystal who is a psychic and has amnesia because her abusive demon ex boyfriend stole her memories of her past from her after Edwin and Charles exorcise him from Crystal's body. The boys then team up with Crystal to solve supernatural crimes together and to help her get her memories back. The show tackles issues like abusive, homophobia, and bullying. The women in this show are so complex and well written (Crystal's storyline about her dealing with her demon ex and discovering just how powerful she is as well as uncovering her past is one of my favorite storylines in the show and Niko, the other main character who befriends the boys and Crystal after they save her life, is so sweet and fun). It also has really great queer rep and Edwin's storyline where he figures out that he's gay and in love with Charles is so well done and handled with so much care (he also has all the gay supernatural boys in town falling all over him which is very fun). If you're into shipping, this show also has so many ships that you can get invested in. It's such a fun teen drama full of found family and themes of love and acceptance. The show is in dire need of a boost in streaming numbers so I really recommend checking it out so it doesn't get canceled!

[calypsocolada]

PAPER RINGS | takuma

synopsis: takuma meets your parents, it goes better than expected. authors note: hi there. i was watching the proposal and this story came to me :] i really think jjk is for the girlies and gays with the amount of male characters that are literally too sexy. anyways pls enjoy this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!! does anyone else wanna help me track down gege? he's a fucking menace. cw: slightly suggestive, ANGST, shibuya mention, slight spoliers about nanami wc: 4.3k

--------------------------------------------------------

You glance over at the driver's seat, Takuma is bouncing his leg up and down, his hands gripping the steering wheel, knuckles white. He was nervous. You could tell it instantly. He was rigid, Takuma was never rigid, he was always relaxed. Your first few weeks of dating he was nervous around you and you could see those same mannerisms now. You reached over, turning the radio down a bit. It had been playing the same three Christmas songs on every channel. Takuma glanced over at you and gave you an anxious smile. So you reached over and laced your fingers with his free hand. 

“You survived Thanksgiving, Christmas will be fine.” You whispered, pressing your lips to the top of his hand. You nod his head. 

“I don’t think your Dad likes me,” He starts.

“Why would you think that?” You asked, leaning your head against the seat, inspecting Takuma’s side profile. He was distracting, his jawline and soft brown hair, his chestnut eyes that matched the soft tan sweater you got him. He looked good. Really really good. 

“I don’t know, I just feel like he doesn’t like me.”

“My father is very outspoken, Ino, he once told one of my ex’s that he was ‘fucking annoying’ right to his face.”

“Oh god.” Takuma breathes out. 

“My point is that if he didn’t like you, he would’ve said something to you already.” You say, reaching over to run your fingers through the ends of his hair. Takuma leans into your touch as he presses lightly on the break at a red light. 

“And your mom?”

“My mom,” you laugh. “She loves you.” 

Which is true. Your mom had pulled you aside during Thanksgiving to rave about Takuma. How he helped her in the kitchen and didn’t seem bothered the least bit when helping clean up. Takuma glances at you with a hopeful look in his eyes. 

“Really?” He asks as you nod your head. He bites his lip to keep from smiling too largely. You see his shoulders relax slightly and you roll your head back towards the passing trees. The heat blew from the vents to your cheeks, snow falling fresh and white from the dimmed sky. 

There were things you were keeping to yourself. Big changes you weren’t ready for. You wanted everything to go perfectly this weekend but in quiet moments of reflection you wondered who you wanted it to go perfectly for. Because once you said the things on your mind that just might be the end for you and Takuma. 

You and Takuma have been together for about three years now. You met in Shibuya on Halloween night. It was a crazy night that you didn’t like to remember much of. You’d been there for a Halloween party and next thing you know things were blowing up and people were dying. Takuma had appeared like some sort of superhero, he helped escort you to safety. That night you learned about things you never wanted to learn about. Such as the existence of curses, and that cute boy that you’d fall in love with worked to exterminate such curses. Some jobs he did were fine, minimum damage. But most jobs he’s barely make it out alive. Like the one in Shibuya. Takuma didn’t talk about that night at all, only meeting you. Everything else was an extremely sore subject for him. He had talked about a Nanami Kento at one point while somewhat drunk but the most you got out of him was that he looked up to him but then he got quiet. You assumed Nanami wasn’t around anymore, probably because of the curses they fought. 

That was something you could’ve gone your entire life without knowing because it irrevocably changed things. Life was scarier now. But on the other side of the coin you also met Takuma. 

You and your friends had gone to some stupid party, you remember it raining at one point, your freshly curled hair going flat. You stepped out of the party into the brisk cold air, rain hitting your hot skin, cooling you off. You let your head fall back against the brick wall behind you. You don’t even know why you came out tonight, it wasn’t less than an hour until your friends all found some boys to mess around with and leave you all on your own. You pulled the cold beer bottle up to your lips and downed what little you had left in it, tossing the glass bottle in the trash. It cracked loudly in the bin. You needed another drink. Or maybe you needed to call a taxi and get the fuck home already. You let your eyes fall closed, the bunny ears on your head sliding and almost falling off your head. You adjusted them and shivered slightly, the cold air finally getting to you. Then again what did you expect, wearing a flimsy corset and ripped tights, a cotton ball glued sideways on your ass. Something shifted down the alley, a few cans falling over. You turned at the sound. You were wary usually and dressed like this you shouldn’t have left the club alone. A growl erupted from about thirty feet down the alley. This had you turning and walking back towards the bar until something large stepped in your way, knocking you back on your ass. There was no explanation for what you were looking at. It was a monster, about nine feet tall, with grotesque features and a gaping mouth, its purple tongue lolling to the side. The scream that left your lips was part fear and confusion, part hoping someone slipped you some mushrooms or something because what you were looking at right now couldn’t have been real. The monster spoke then, in a garbled tone, something about its mother? Something about shopping? You couldn’t understand it before there was a burst and suddenly you were covered in purple goo. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s dead.” A comforting voice said, you hadn’t noticed you were still screaming. You took a staggering breath, wiping the goo from your face. A hand extended and you took it. The man in front of you steady you, looked you over for any wounds then slung his jacket over your shoulders. “You're okay? I got it before it could touch you?” He asks. You blink a few times, unable to form words through the shock of what you just saw. He reached forward, barely touching your shoulder. “Ma’am, it’s dead. I’m here, nothings going to hurt you.” He says and slowly your eyes raise to meet his. Beautiful brown eyes. There’s a quiet moment, like the world has slowed for a moment. The stranger's eyes looked gentle, his voice the only keeping you from freaking out all over again. “You're not hurt are you?” He asks again and slowly you shake your head. “Thank god for that,” He says and he sounds genuinely relieved. 

“You saved my life.” You say with a sort of unbelievable amazement. “From--from uh- what- what the fuck was that..?”         

You’d asked him his name that night he saved you, he made a show of things and kissed your knuckles as he left. A month or so later he walked into the bookstore you were working in. He had bandages on his eye and the color gone from his face. You almost didn’t recognize him. When he checked out he looked at you, squinting slightly. 

“I recognize you,” he says as you look up.

“I was in Shibuya during Halloween.” You say and recognition dawns on his face.

“You were dressed as a bunny.” He points out as you blush. You certainly were, it was your friend’s idea. You each went as some kind of cute animal. There was a cat, a mouse, a rabbit and your youngest friend dressed as a dog. 

“Not my best costume.” You say, somewhat shielding your face. 

“You looked cute.” You blushed even deeper. “I didn’t get to thank you.” You say as you hand him his receipt. “You saved my life.” 

“You’re welcome. I’d do it anytime.” He says before blushing. You smile down at your shoes. 

“Could I buy you a drink maybe?”

That was the start of everything. You kept seeing Takuma until he finally kissed you, then you saw him all the time. Now three years later you two lived together. Things had been busy and your parents lived in another state which is why he never got to meet them in person until recently. Takuma grew up in a warmer climate and coming down to where you lived, mid-winter was like a Christmas all of his own. The first time you guys flew here for thanksgiving it was snowing. Takuma ran out of the airport and took thousands of pictures. It was cute. He eagerly bought a parka, beanie and earmuffs. He wore them all the entire weekend. This weekend was no different. He was ready now for this climate. He had various cable knit sweaters you helped him pick out, and a barrage of scarfs. You loved how he loved your hometown. He called it Christmas town, and said it reminded him of Hallmark movies. It always made you laugh because it was one of many states that got lots of snow, he just wasn’t used to it.  

You pull up and the front door to your house is already cracked open. The lights are perfectly placed outside, white snow covering the roof and the ground. There’s a shoveled path for you two to follow. You both hop out, Takuma grabs all the bags before you can even think about grabbing your own. 

“Give me a bag, boy wonder.” You tease as Takuma just shakes his head and walks towards the front door. He was very chivalrous all the time, always putting you first. You rolled your eyes lovingly and jogged to catch up with him. 

“Don’t slip on the ice patch there.” Takuma calls out over his shoulder as you step over said spot. Your Mom appears at the front door, the fog on the window blurring her figure. She waves as both you and Takuma wave back. Then she pushes open the door and holds it open for you two. 

“Hi honey! Merry Christmas!” She says as you two meet in a tight hug. 

“Hi mom. Merry Christmas,” you return. Your mom pulls back, tucks your hair behind your ear before turning to Takuma. 

“Hi handsome, love the sweater.” She says, reaching and pulling Takuma into a hug. 

“Hi, Mrs. Y/L/N. Merry Christmas.”

“Come inside you two, out of the cold.” Your mom said as Takuma picked the bags up and you held the door open for him. The heat hit your cold cheeks immediately, the smell of your Mom’s homemade cookies hitting you. You smiled to yourself. You moved away from home several years ago, teenage rebellion, but lately you’ve felt a bit alone. You had your friends, who weren’t really all that great if you were being honest, and you had Takuma of course but all your best friends and family lived here. You missed the cold weather, the snow, the wide open space that city life back there was lacking. You sort of felt like you were being pulled in two separate directions. Homesick and lovesick, you just wished there was a cure. Where everything could be in one place. Then there was the glaring fact of Takuma’s dangerous job. That had you unable to sleep the nights he was out working. Laying on the cold side of the pillow wondered if tonight will be the night he doesn’t make it home. It was really fucking with you lately. Which is why you planned the trip back home on thanksgiving and Christmas, maybe to ease some pain in your heart.  

“Alright, I fixed up your room so if you guys wanna rest for a bit dinner will be ready by six.” Your mom says. 

“Where’s Dad?” You ask. 

“Late, work has been crazy. He’ll be home around six.” She says as you nod your head. 

You lead Takuma upstairs, pushing open the door to your old bedroom. Your mom redecorated it a few years ago, thank god. You’d be humiliated if Takuma saw your old one direction posters. Takuma dropped the bags on the floor and fell onto the bed. You kicked off your shoes and shimmied out of your jacket. Takuma leaned up on his forearms, giving you that look. You cocked your head and bit back a grin. 

“Don’t you dare look at me like that.” You say walking a bit closer. He leans up, reaching for your thighs to pull you closer. 

“Like what?” He asks innocently, large fingers wrapping around you as you bury your fingers into his hair. His eyes glistened in the dim light of your room. 

“You know.” You may as he gives a quick tug and you fall on top of him, legs spread to straddle his legs. His hands travel up and rest just at your hips. “My mom is right downstairs. You’re going to make a terrible impression.” You half laugh as his lips press softly against your open throat. 

“Me? You’re the one who can never keep quiet.” He says muffled against you. You blush deeply remembering the time you met his parents. You two had snuck off and got caught by his cousins. It was humiliating. His lips travel up to your jaw, kissing softly. You shudder, pushing him back onto the bed, caging his body with yours. 

“Maybe I should make a mess out of you then, see how you like it.” You say teasingly, pressing your knee between his legs. He jolts at the contact, a strangled noise escaping his lips. 

“Shit,” he gasps. “No, no, you’re right. It’s not smart.” He said as you laughed, moving off of him. His hands are still on you though, as though he’d really like to take a chance. 

“We should’ve stayed in a hotel.” You sigh, reaching to pull the blankets out from under you. Takuma snorts at that, helping as you two get under the covers. He pulls you against him, wrapping an arm around your back. 

“Are the walls that thin?” He asks as you nod your head against his chest. 

“Trust me they are.” 

“I don’t wanna think about why you know that.” He mumbles in the dark as you giggle. 

Your father was about fifteen minutes late and he came rushing inside, profusely apologizing and kissing your mom on the cheek as he entered. His eyes found you and lit up. You rushed to him as he grabbed you up, spinning you around. You giggled. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. 

“Hi pumpkin, Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Dad.” You beamed. Takuma was a few steps behind you as he held out a hand to greet your father. Your dad glanced at the hand and shook his head. 

“Bring it in, son, it’s Christmas.” Your Sad said as Takuma breathed out a soft laugh, meeting your Dad in a hug. Your heart soared. None of your other boyfriends ever made it past a second trip to your parent’s house. Not a single one. Your father usually had his mind made up the first time. It seems as though Takuma made a good first impression. 

You sat beside Takuma at the table, he held your hand underneath the entire dinner, even as your hands went clammy. It was cute. The dinner went over better than you could’ve imagined. You had never seen your Dad laugh so much, he was usually somewhat serious. But Takuma was funny, that was one of the many things you found attractive about him. He was charismatic and charming, you never stood a chance staying single around him. After dinner Takuma helped your mom clean up as you and your Dad drank cocoa in the living room. 

“Pumpkin,” Your dad started as you turned to him. “I think this one’s good.” He motions to the kitchen. Your heart swells. 

“He is.” You say, there was a sort of swoon to your tone. 

“A lot better than that last one you brought home that one was fucking-“

“Annoying.” You finished with a laugh as your Dad nodded his head, making a face as he remembered.

“I can tell he cares and as much as I don’t want you married off states away from your family I guess I wouldn’t mind if it was with that boy.” You stared at your Dad, feeling slightly choked up. 

“Won, that’s uh- thanks Dad.” You said, sipping the hot drink, but you couldn't stop the tears from falling. Your Dad noticed. 

“Oh honey, did I upset you?” He asks as you shake your head. 

“No! No of course not its-- I,” You buried your face in your hands. Saying it outloud would make the things you felt finally real. You weren’t ready for that. Your Dad reached for you, pulling you into a hug. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, hugging you tightly. 

“What is it then?” He asks. You didn’t want to talk about it. Today was a happy day. Your family liked Takuma. You loved Takuma. You weren’t ready for things to change. Things were starting to feel normal. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Takuma’s voice came from the threshold of the kitchen. Your teary eyes slid to his. Fuck. You turned and pressed a kiss to your Dad’s cheek. Getting up you reached for Takuma’s hand, pulling him upstairs to your room. “What’s going on?” He asks as you press the door closed behind you. You blow out a breath, everything hitting you at once. Tears slid down your cheek in a hurried rush, clearly taking advantage of you finally letting them fall. Takuma was across the room in a split second, pulling you against his chest, kissing your forehead and holding you tightly. You sniffled, his scent strong, warmth and cashmere. He ran his hand through the back of your hair and just held you until you calmed down. 

“I don’t want things to change.” You said, your voice sounding pathetically sad. Takuma pulled back slightly, your eyes meeting his. He reaches and rubs the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. 

“What things, Baby?” He asks, eyes searching. You swallowed. 

“Us.” You say. He looks at you for a long moment, slowly cocking his head before shaking it. 

“Us?” He echoes. You let your eyes fall closed, annoyed at how you’ve thought about this shit for months but couldn’t form the right words right now. 

“I didn’t wanna do this but my Dad-- he said something.” You say.

“What he’d say?” He asks, concerned about his features, looking as though he might take care of your father for you. 

“It’s not like that, he- he meant well.”

“What’d he say, baby?”

“He said he’d be okay if we got married.” You say, letting your eyes drift back up to Takuma’s. He’s gently biting his lower lip.

“Really?” He asks, his thumbs caressing your cheeks. You nod your head.

“And that’s not something you want?”

“Of course it’s something I want,” You say in a rush, not wanting him to think you didn’t want him, not even for a second. You wanted him. Forever if you could. He slowly nods his head, trying to understand. “I’m sorry, I wanted to know what I was going to say before I said it.” You sigh. “I want to marry you, that’s something you want to, right?” Takuma looks at you like that's a stupid question. He nods his head. “Then there are things I have to say.” 

“Okay,” Takuma says softly. You take his hand and walk across the room, sitting down side by side on the bed. You remembered years spent in this room. Dreaming of the moment you fell in love. Writing little stories in your journal until the sun rises in the sky. Reading them to your family at breakfast. You remember the first boy you brought in here, how he made fun of the books on your nightstand. The second boy you brought home got in a screaming match with your dad. The third one apparently was fucking annoying. And now the fourth. Takuma. There wouldn’t be a fifth. This one was the love of your life, you fucking knew it. It was the love your parents had. 

“I can’t stay with you if you continue to be a sorcerer.” You say and the weight of it leaves your shoulders and presses down on your chest. The look on Takuma’s face. There were no words to describe the confusion, the hurt, the whirling of emotions. 

“Oh,” He says. That’s all he says.

“Ino, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do this on Christmas but it is something I’ve been thinking about. Especially lately.” 

“Why did you talk to me about it?”

“Because- because I know how much you love it.” Tears well up again. Fuck you hated crying. You never used to cry but now it came so damn easily. 

“I do. I do love it.” He says and your heart breaks a little. 

“I know you do.” You say and your words sound so damn sad. Takuma’s warm hands find yours, lacing his fingers with yours. You take in a breath and clear your throat. “I’ve thought about it ever since Thanksgiving. How my parents seemed to like you. How you being home with me just felt right. How much I love you. Then my Dad says something about marriage and suddenly it hits me. I don’t want to be married years from now waiting by the door while you're out at a job. Wondering if you're going to make it home. Wondering if one of those fucking monsters got you. You told me yourself how many sorcerers die and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that because, Ino, I don’t want to be without you. I don’t want to know how it feels to lose you.” Tears were coming steadily now. You look and see that Takuma is crying too, he’s nodding his head as though he understands.

“I didn’t- I never thought about it. Jesus…” He sighs, pulling you into the tightest hug. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Y/N.” He mumbles into your hair. “I got so caught up in working I never stopped to think about how it would affect you.” He says and you feel that weight lifting from your heart. “I like being a sorcerer, but I love you, of course I’d choose you. I’d choose you anyday, anytime, anyway.” He vows, pulling back, he’s smiling, he’s kissing you. This was all sort of a surprise, you really thought it was selfish to make him choose, thought you’d push him away. “I love you. Fuck sorcery.”

“Ino, are you sure-” He’s kissing the doubt from your lips.

“I’m sure,” he says softly against your lips sending shivers down your spine.

“Marry me then.” You say and Takuma pulls back, a stricken look on his face. You meant it. He’s shaking his head.

“Asshole,” He says and it pulls a surprised laugh from your lips. “I had a whole thing planned.” 

“Can we forget what I said then?” You ask and he laughs heartily, pulling you back to his lips, kissing you softly. “There’s one last thing,” You say.

“You want to move back home.” He says, it’s like he read your mind. “I had a feeling when you pretended not to cry on the way back from thanksgiving.”

“I miss my family.” You say, Takuma smiles.

“I know. I’m fine with that, I like it here.” Takuma says. As far as you know Takuma didn’t get along much with his family which is why he was so eager to impress them. 

“Are you sure? Because we don’t have to move.”

“I want to, baby. Being here feels right.” You can’t help but smile.

“We don’t have to worry about that now.” You say, wiping your face as Takuma leans and presses his lips against your own for a long moment. Then he’s pressing against you as you pull him down on top of you on the bed. His hand grips the back of your thigh, hiking it up as his core presses against yours. You both make some noises as the kisses get messier, more desperate. Your cold hands slip under his sweater, sliding against the cut of his abs. He shivers under your touch. The building tension growing. Something else has grown, pushing against the inside of your thigh as your hands travel around his back, pulling his weight fully on you. His lips kiss a trail to your neck. His other hand sliding down your stomach to the button of your jeans. Fingers deftly unbuttoning your pants, dipping slowly under the waistband.   

There’s a knock on the door that has Takuma’s hand springing out of your pants. 

“Hi, honey, just wanted to check on you guys, is everything alright?” You heard your mom from outside the door. Takuma’s head fell on your chest as he sighed, defeated, you bit your lip to keep from laughing too loudly.

“We’re fine, be down in a minute!” You called out as Takuma groaned against you. 

“I don’t think I can make it this whole weekend.” He whined as you pushed up off the bed, pulling him with you. 

“Don’t you sorcerer's exercise restraint?” You tease as he grabs you by the waist making you yelp slightly, dissolving into laughter.

“You’re really funny,” He says, leaning and pressing his lips against yours. He really can’t keep his hands off you as you two find yourselves falling back into the bed again and again that weekend.