#cuz youre so focused on reading what everyone is saying and also writing your own reaction it really splits your attention

[felixcosm]

I know a lot of people don't like when episodes are confusing or full of information the first time they drop but honestly I looove relistening and then going oh yeahhh. I get it. I understand this now.

[ram-bles]

HELLOOOO

I got a silly little ask, just a drabble from you would be fine 😁

Like- the reader (gender neutral) wasn't very open about their hobbies and such. One of their hobbies was like martial arts or smth (THIS IS VERY CRUCIAL ☝️☝️☝️)

Wellll, one day Jimmy (🤮) decided to try and touch the reader inappropriately and they just throw him over their shoulder saying something along the lines of "Do NOT touch me."

I KNOW IT'S CRINGE BUT PLEASEEEE, IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY 🙏🙏🙏🙏

I saw you're writing for only Curly and Daisuke, but if you wanna you can add other characters into the mix. It's all platonic, just a silly little ask cuz I wanna laugh 😁😁😁

[ Tulpar Crew & Reader ]

Oh I love this one. Also this reminded me to update my list thank u 4 unintentionally reminding me anon.,.,. ALSO DONT WORRY I DONT THINK IT'S CRINGE !

gender neutral reader, it gets silly later on i promise. not proof-read. wrote this really quick.

⚠️ tw: stalking, jimmy being a little too forward and close

The day was pretty much mundane, like always. Everyone was in their designated work stations, including you of course. Though, something felt off. It had been like this for the past week, and you hated it. You even blamed your lack of sleep for it. It seemed like there was something— someone, watching and following you when you were alone.

One time, you'd even woken up to the sound of your quarter's door closing. You stayed up all night, not wanting to inconvenience the other crew members for what you think might just be all in your head. Well, that is until psych evaluation day came and you opened up about this to Anya who so easily believed you, but seemed so uncomfortable with the topic. You decided not to pry out of respect. She offers her company when you need it.

That same night, Daisuke offered to host a game session to which everyone reluctantly agreed to.

Establishing good bonds between workers is key to an efficient working environment!

Anya, Swansea and Daisuke were sitting by the sofa, Curly dragged a chair just beside the game table, whilst you and Jimmy sat beside each other on the floor. The game involved four players and the crew decided that whoever loses first has to swap with whoever hasn't played yet for the next rounds. The game was getting heated, Daisuke and Anya, neck on neck. Unfortunately, not the only thing neck on neck. Everyone else was too focused on the game to even notice what Jimmy was doing. You can feel his breath against your skin. You eyed the others in hopes that they would see. Too busy. Annoyed and grossed out, you elbowed his ribs in warning, glaring at him. "Jimmy, don't touch me." He seems pissed, but that doesn't deter him from getting his entertainment. Jimmy presses on and you swear you felt your eyebrows twitch. The balls of this guy to even do this here.

Daisuke throws the dice, the three leans in in anticipation as they watch it slowly roll to a stop and—

CRASH!

Some game pieces flew in different directions, two table legs snapping from the force and Jimmy's weight. It was radio silent for a moment. The crew having different variations of shocked expressions. You had grabbed his arm and flipped his body onto the furniture.

"Fuckin' pervert. Are you deaf, or what? I said do NOT touch me."

Daisuke threw his hands up in the air and settled it on each side of his head, frustrated. "Oh, come on, man! I was so close to winni—!" His whining ceases when Swansea nudges him, instantly shutting up and processing what had just happened. It took a few blinks for him to register and he eventually bursts out laughing and pointing at Jimmy. It took everything from Swansea not to burst out laughing as well. Instead, he crosses his arms and huffs with a proud smile. 'Atta' kid.'

Anya on the other hand slips out a gasp, covering her mouth. Mostly out of shock, and no sympathy for the man whatsoever. When the other intern started laughing, she had to bite her lip and look away to suppress her own fit.

[ History of glenohumeral joint subluxation.

It happened way too fast for Jimmy to even process what just happened. He spits out something hard, probably a tooth. His shoulder slightly stings as well, probably dislocated. He'll get back at you some other time, he can't get back at you when everyone else is here and that pisses him off even more.

Curly had mixed feelings. But of course, he prioritizes his role and he has to mediate everything first and foremost. Rubbing his face, he sighs and stands up, putting his hands on his hips. He calls your name and you tilted your head to look up at him. "I have to discuss... this with you later on. Please drop by the cockpit, yeah?" You roll your eyes and nod, pouting. "Swansea, could we borrow your intern real quick?"

"Shift's over, go ahead."

He gives the eldest a nod. "Daisuke, please assist Anya. Help her bring Jimmy to medical."

"Youuuuu got it, Big C." He finger guns towards the captain then stands up to hover over the co-pilot. Curly could only give Daisuke an awkward smile at the nickname.

"Never call him that again."

"El Capitano." Daisuke helps Jimmy up, making sure he's pulling them up by the injured arm, making the man grit his teeth and groan in pain. Before the guy could even cuss at the intern, Swansea continued bickering.

"Do your damn job."

"Yessir. Swansir."

Anya and Daisuke finally went off the bring the poor injured co-pilot to treat him. And if you'd like to know, Anya taught Daisuke how to pull Jimmy's shoulder back to place. Yes, everyone heard him when it happened.

You helped Swansea clean up the mess by the lounge and in apology, offered to help repair the table the next day. He agrees and even offers Daisuke to assist you.

Curly had to lightly reprimand you for your actions, but you'd explained to him what happened. The best he could do for you for now is lie on the report.

Sustained through occupational accident.

Employee confirmed inebriated while working.

Property damage docked to Jimmy.]

[pedriache]

Ansu fati who has a big ass crush on reader but thinks it’s not reciprocated, and the rest of team teasing him about it cuz it’s obvious they are both whipped for each other

Pluto projector — Ansu Fati.

Pairing: Ansu Fati x Fem!Reader

Summary: Everyone seems to know about Ansu’s crush on you, but you. The problem was, you felt the same, but he couldn’t see that.

Word count: 775+

Disclaimer/s: Teasing , banter , fluff !

A/N: Bea will posts her reqs in her drafts and not get insecure about her writing… bea will post her reqs in her drafts and not get insecure about her writing.. also why’d i lowk make gavi get abused that’s my bad

Ansu watched you carefully from across the room. You had been helping Taia set up the table, focused on the forks that couldn’t seem to sit straight on the table. Subconsciously, his lips formed a small, endearing smile. You’d always been a perfectionist about the little things.

“Look at the dude.” Gavi quipped, “his eyes on her and suddenly he’s dead to the rest of the world.”

Ansu blinked, his head snapping in the direction of his friends. “What?”

“Yeah, you heard me.” The brunette laughs, “or, well, maybe you didn’t since—“

Rolling his eyes, Ansu straightens his posture. “I heard you just fine.” His body language screamed defensive. Gavi was right after all. The second Ansu had zeroed in on you, his friend’s conversations had fallen on deaf ears.

Raphinha chuckles, “Man, just go talk to her. You look like a freak gawking at her all the time. She’s your friend too, you are allowed to converse with her.”

This coming from the man Ansu witnessed stumbling over his own words when he talked to Taia before they started dating was ironic. Before he could point that out though, your head had whipped in the group’s direction.

“Hey! Somebody come tell me if this is fucking straight or not, please?” The slight irritation at your predicament, had Ansu forcing himself not to smile.

You made him feel foolish over the littlest of things.

“Go ahead Ansu.” Pedri grins, “not like you’d be engaging in conversation anyways.” He adds, just to annoy the boy.

Flipping Pedri off, Ansu stands from his seat and makes his way over to you. You offer him a grateful smile, tugging on his sleeve so he could stand right where you used to be.

“Okay, let me know your thoughts.”

Taking his time, definitely not because your hand was lingering on his arm, he examines the forks position. “Looks straight to me.”

“Are you lying?” You huff, your eyebrows furrowing as you stare at the fork intently.

“I would never lie to you.” Ansu assures you, causing a flush to spread across your cheeks. Only a few feet away, Gavi tips back in his chair, groaning.

It was so painfully obvious how absolutely whipped for each other you were, he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Oh get a fucking room.” He laughs.

Both of you freeze, your heads snapping in his direction to scowl at Gavi. He throws his hands up in surrender. “Geez! Tough crowd.”

“Anyways..” You trail off.

“Sorry, the kid can’t keep his mouth shut.” Ansu chuckles, “but yeah, the fork looks perfectly straight to me.”

You nod, “okay. Okay. Thank you.” You pat his arm and move to the other side of the table to place more forks down and Ansu returns to his seat.

When he passes Gavi, he lightly swats the side of the boys head, eliciting a yelp from him. “Ay!? Not my fault you two clearly were flirting, when will you just, oh I dunno, admit it?” He says through a hiss.

“She..” Ansu clamps his mouth shut, “you’re reading into things too much.”

“Nuh-uh.” Alejandro, who’d been quietly observing, pipes in. “That’s exactly how I acted around the first girl I liked. Admit it bro, you like her. She definitely likes you.”

“You don’t know what.” Ansu shakes his head, his attention returning to watch you. Were they right? Was he just oblivious? Had that lingering touch meant anything? God, he wanted it to.

“You never know until you try.” Raphinha says, patting the boy’s shoulder. “I think you should go for it, all jokes aside.”

“Jokes aside but—Hey!” Gavi whips his head in Fermín’s direction, rubbing the arm that his friend had just flicked. “Why am I being targeted?”

“You’re not helping.” Fermín laughs, “we’re supposed to be encouraging him, not teasing the poor kid.”

“Kid?” Ansu blinks, “I’m literally—“

“So, ask her out tonight?” Fermín interrupts, “or we tell her for you?”

Ansu’s mouth drops open, “I thought you were supposed to be on my side?”

“Sorry, Gavi is right. It’s a bit painful.”

Letting out a long defeated exhale, Ansu rolls his eyes. “I’ll think about it. Give me a week.”

“A day.”

“After our next match?”

“Two days, at the maximum.”

Groaning, Ansu waves dismissively. “Fine. Two days. Give me two days!”

Gavi pats his friend’s knee, “Good luck.” He didn’t say it as a sarcastic remark, but genuinely. “It’ll all go just fine, I promise!”

Now, Ansu really had zoned out of the conversation. He was too lost in thoughts about how exactly he was going to confess. Great. What had he gotten himself into?

likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in any future ansu related posts.

DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby !

[criminal-sen]

Hello!! Going back to that post about being ok with people asking you about your fic... can I? 🙏 I'm gonna 🫣

So when I first found Imperfect, I hadn't watched Bleach in... dunno... 10-15 years?? Gawd don't wanna think about it. So, I'd forgotten a lot of stuff, and I hadn't finished the last 3-4 seasons. So I thought a lot of stuff you wrote about was canon, and when I rewatched it all for the upcoming 3rd part of tybw, I was like... so when are you guys gonna mention this??

But anyway, focusing on the actual question, how did you come up with all the little details about Mayuri? Like the way he talks to AJ in their own internal world, the microdosing of Super Human drug in daily life and they way it feels, the ability to smell pheromones... it makes the story, which is already awesome, much more realistic to me. It's almost like he wrote it himself, it's so, so enjoyable. Love it sm, you already know 😊

Anyway, no pressure to answer, just been thinking about it for a while and thought I'd chance it!

Aw that's so cool u mistook my stuff for canon, I feel like it's Highest Honor for ff to be believable enough to trick someone>:3c Tho I'm sure it was kinda frustrating too, sorry for that haha (and I've also been fooled so I very much understand the feeling)

Future Sen here: when I say I'm long-winded, this is what I'm talking about. This is like.. the textbook definition of Verbose. So under a cut it goes, have fun with soooooo many words:D

Hmm so the microdosing Superhuman Drug just popped into my head right before I wrote it in (chapter... 5? I think? Where he's sitting in the hotel after a flashback), I think I was having a bit of a conundrum on how he could sit there and have such a long and detailed flashback in such a short time? And before I could do the obvious fix of having more time pass, as literally nothing was at stake time-wise, I remembered the Superhuman Drug exists. And the more I thought about it, the more sense it made for him to use it, to the point where I choose believe it's canon unless proven otherwise XD Like you can't tell me someone whose whole thing is Thinking wouldn't jump at the opportunity to do more of it in less time. As for the way it feels, hmmm idk, I just thought real hard and made it up. All we know from canon is what he explained to Szayel, and what Szayel experienced, which is just. Brain thinks faster, making time feel as though it's passing slower. And od'ing on it is Real Bad💀

Hheeeehooo What Next>:3 (btw im having a blast rn, ty for giving me a free pass to be sooooo long winded about this very niche thing XD) Right, Jizo communication here we go>:33333 So him talking to Jizo was based on what I read in a wiki about the Zanpakuto... rebellion arc? I think it's called (could definitely be wrong)? Where everyone's zanpakuto spirit is running amok? I just remember reading he didn't speak. And though I have mixed feels about the design (hence he is Moth in my fic XD), him not speaking really made sense to me. He just seems like such a fucked up little guy🤔 Like.. okay so I've mentioned this briefly in a chapter preface but want to elaborate... so I strongly believe he consents to being modified, cuz even Mayuri would probably have a hard time wielding a zanpakuto that fucking hates him. Which means he's loyal (arguably to a fault) and trusts Mayuri to do very fucked up and painful things to him. Which, to be fair, Mayuri does equally painful and fucked up things to his own body.. and that makes me wonder if Jizo isnt merely consenting but is of the same mind about this fuckery? Like idk if I can even say this in a way that makes sense🤦‍♂️ but I like to think they share this no-holds-barred, nothing-is-sacred delight for experimenting on themselves. Like Jizo is also a mad scientist in all but name>:3 (I decided on this version bc it Fucks Severly imho, but also bc it's FAR less depressing than the overly-trusting, Stockholm syndrome one, like i cannot deal with writing something that sad tbfh) Anyway, regardless of which version, he is an intensely weird Creachure. And I just can't fathom him saying fucking.. anything... that would even remotely make sense to anyone but Mayuri??? And the telepathy thing just fits Mayuri's whole.. fast thinking, Big Brain vibe. If a zanpakuto were to impart information to him through words, I can see him tapping his foot like GET TO THE POINT>:(

Lastly, the pheromone thing.. haha well this one's pretty short (future Sen here, i am a liar! It is not short😬) - I borrowed it from another ff. It's that one I mentioned at the end of.. who knows which chapter... Quantum Mechanics by Illegitimi (no link, sorry, might put one after i post)... which was Mayuri/Isane, and which I loved So Much back in the day, despite hetero romance being kind of a fuckin.. icky vibe for me in regards to Mayuri. No problem with it fyi, just usually wouldn't choose to read about it. Ugh I'm talking too much about it already but I have changed a LOT since.. 2016? Give or take? And I don't think I could stand it nowadays for a whole bunch of reasons. But. BUT. It was very well written and had some very cool hcs for him that I've clung onto. The pheromone one just fits him - if he could sharpen his ability to sense something, ofc he'd do it - plus it's very fun for romance and smut reasons, which is undoubtedly why the author thought of it. They also had that scar across his nose, though iirc it was kinda squiggly and not the upside down V that I made up. In my defense though, there's a lot I didn't borrow from that fic, too. Some highlights: Mayuri practiced feng-shui (like he'd spend his precious Sciencing time to do smth like that smh) he had these absolutely luxurious captains quarters, complete with a whole fancy bathhouse, like there was a waterfall and shit nsvdhshdv (I'll admit this was quite fun in the ff but i obviously interpret his quarters a lot differently)... and, last one I mention I promise😬 his paint rubbed off easily, big reason why I changed it tbfh cuz it immediately didn't make sense to me, like his hands especially? Is that different paint than the rubbing off paint? Or does he leave paint on every surface he touches, and discreetly wipe it up and reapply before anyone notices???? Expmain yourself, ff writer😤 jk jk it was really good for what it was, and I still very much appreciate it for helping me form my version<3

Omfg I really... shit what time is it😭 (over an hour, I've been sitting here for over an HOUR jesus fucking.. goddamn) Okay well I don't get to blab v often about this stuff, and it turns out I have a LOT of words in me today! So it was a perfect storm😩 Well I hope this was enlightening, thanks sm for the ask, it was a very fun hour lol. And sorry for the uhhh. the amount of words:p

[venusbyline]

I agree with you GRRM also writes scenes of pedophilia and rape except that unlike you he does it to denounce these acts and not to romanticize them. . Of course I don't blame you for incest because it's a pretty big part of asoiaf but I'm just trying to understand what you find "romantic" (i don't know what other word to use) in rape? you say you write this because it can help some people who have experienced trauma but honestly I don't see how it could help them except to bring back bad memories

I'm not blaming or anything, I'm just trying to understand your point of view which is different from mine.

Good day.

TW: dead dove fics, talks about rape and pedophilia

hey, i'll only answer anon asks about my "rape/non-con" fics if the question comes in a polite way, like a genuine doubt or constructive criticism. so ur question it's okay, tysm for this btw :)

in my view, i don't think GRRM actually does this as a way of denounce something. despite the books having some scenes that were really shocking and that seem like a "denunciation", many others were also simply thrown there and that was it, many times they also didn't really need to be so graphic. in addition to the dubcon in some scenes too. and pedophilia is clearly very romanticized by him and by the fandom itself (like Daemyra being one of the most famous ships and people pretending that there's nothing wrong with this couple), but i respect your opinion.

getting back to the main focus of your question, i don't think there's anything romantic about rape/non-con. even though i write the fics, the focus of the actions is often on a character other than the reader, so obviously the "narrator" isn't so trustworthy. think about it this way, Lolita only seems to romanticize pedophilia because it's written focusing on the pedophile's thoughts, feelings and actions.

rape is wrong and disgusting, everyone knows that. i really don't need to write the reader saying this for the male character to the people understand, i really don't need to write two paragraphs in the fic about the male characters feeling bad about themselves. it's wrong, everyone who reads or writes understand that too.

and i didn't say i'm trying to help anyone, i said that contrary to what many people think, fics with TW "dead dove do not eat" are frequently read and written by people who have already suffered something similar. and speaking particularly of myself, who has suffered traumatic situations involving both rape and pedophilia, i feel more comfortable writing and reading fics that simply "throw the graphic scene in there and it's over" than reading stories that focus on the criticism behind and focus on the angst part.

is this a healthy thought? ofc not. is this a good method of therapy? ofc not. everyone knows that. but the concept of comfort is something very different for each person. every person who has dealt with these situations can deal with all of this in their own way. some people will obviously have triggers if they see graphic scenes or even mere mentions. others find comfort in this cuz they already know what's coming.

the brain is something very complex, just like psychology in general. not everyone deals with the same situations in the same way. what's comfort for one can be a trigger for another, and vice versa too.

anyway, ik saying all of this won't necessarily change your or anyone else's point of view, but i'm glad i can share my thoughts. all of you guys can have your opinions and that's okay.

[whxre-bxby]

Fanfiction further down! Scroll!

Recom Mansk x Recom f. Y/N 

Masterlist

"Greeting Death With A Smile"

Summary: Mansk is present on the boat for the last fight against Sully and Neytiri. He gets wounded and thinks he’s going to die alone. Luckily you find him in time, but you don’t know if it’s already too late.

WARNINGS: uhm TEARS, ANGST, Death, Blood, Violence tiniest bit of sad fluff, I’M BALLING MY EYES OUT WHILE WRITING THIS I THINK THAT SAYS ENOUGH

(Like, read at your own risk cuz I’m in pain I miss him sm)

Word Count: 4102

If u wanna feel even sadder i recommend you listen to (When it‘s cold I‘d like to die alone) it helped me cry my eyes out to the point that the tears burned my skin :)

Quaritch was giving instructions while, Lyle, Z-Dog, Prager, Mansk, and I stood close and listened. We were the only recom’s that I knew were alive. All the others had since been killed but since new things always kept happening, we couldn’t let our guard down and there was no time to mourn. 

I had to run past Ja who lay lifeless on deck and it made me feel sick. I felt the urge to at least pull his body somewhere else but I knew we didn’t have time. 

We had two of Jake’s kids hostage here with us and the Colonel was trying to get him to turn himself in for his daughters. 

I sighed, not knowing whether I would live to see another day. I wasn’t even sure why I was doing this or whether I thought it was right. But as a marine, you’re taught to listen to orders, even if you don’t agree with them. Listen and obey. That’s how you become a good soldier. And definitely never doubt your superior because they know what they’re doing. 

Deep down, I did doubt it though. Not just Quaritch’s plan but this whole mission. Our existence. It was all still a big mess to me. 

“Hold fire!” Quaritch orders as we watch him and Spider dive back into the water. 

“He’s comin’.” he added, turning to me and another human soldier. 

I pin my ears back and hold back a shiver from the cold. My clothes were wet but ignored the feeling and focused on holding my weapon ready. 

“Let’s get this guy.” Quaritch said like it were the easiest thing in the world. My ears perk up. I listen even though I doubt. Even though I don’t understand, I listen. 

“It’s what we came here for.” the Colonel keeps talking, looking at everyone around him. 

I notice how all of us are no longer fully with him. Prager and I exchange looks but with no expression because we are both in denial of our doubts and worries. Pretending they aren’t real. 

Even Lyle doesn’t nod along to his superior's words like he usually would. He would always back up everything Quaritch said but now he just stared at the ground, holding his gun and letting the Colonel’s words go in one ear and out the other.

Mansk looks at us and I can tell he has the same problem. We aren’t convinced but what option do we have? We’ve already done so much harm here. Once again. There’s no turning back because we’re marked down as the enemy for every single Na’vi on this planet. 

We aren’t wanted here so we must listen. 

To be completely honest, when I look at Quaritch one may think he knows what he’s doing. But I also occasionally catch a glimpse of doubt in his eyes. As if he weren’t sure why he would want to do this. Maybe he isn’t. I know damn well most of us hate the humans we used to be but we can’t do anything about it. 

He claps his hands together and his confident expression returns. He tells us to take our places and I look at the ground before going to cover my area of ground. 

We waited in silence for Sully to arrive and within the next few minutes, something exploded on the top deck. Prager and Z-Dog ran up the steps while I stayed on the lower deck with the rest of the team which is also where our hostages were. 

My ears flick in multiple directions as I hear screams and I see Neytiri land on her Ikran. Her presence here meant death to many. Perhaps it would be me too. 

Bodies start falling and I run over to pull a few soldiers out of the fire. Quaritch retreated to take cover close to where the two kids were while Lyle and Mansk continued to cover their ground. 

Someone shouted ‘Eyes up’ and I saw Jake and Neytiri land on the lower deck now. That meant they wiped out the entire top deck already.

I see Lyle and Mansk still standing and am about to go to them when I hear a scream of agony behind me. An injured soldier covered in flames. Without thinking, I run to him, pulling him away from the oil-covered metal pole and helping him put out the fire on his leg. He’s missing his other one. 

He lets his body fall back and sighs a little in relief, seeming to not feel the pain of his missing leg due to shock. I know he won’t make it through this. There is no one here to help. Everyone is trying to live. 

Quickly, I turn around and that’s when I see Lyle get pushed over the rail by Jake who turns in the opposite direction of me. Mansk is no longer in sight. 

I leave the wounded man behind because he passed out and I wouldn’t be able to help him anyway. I also just happened to care slightly more for Mansk and Lyle. 

I jog over to a large red metal pole, keeping my gun raised an looking around. Maybe a recom was injured and needed aid or perhaps I could spot either Jake or Neytiri and get at least one of them down. 

I press myself against the side of the column, looking over my shoulder at the rail which Lyle fell down. His body looked limp as it fell, making my gut wrench. Probably nothing I could save. 

Suddenly I hear a distant shout. 

“Y/N!” the voice of the Colonel echoes through the blood-stained walls of the ship. 

I flinch and just as I go to turn around, my knee is kicked in and I’m hit in the head with the base of a gun. 

I fall forwards and my body summersaults over a rail. My movements stop for a split second until my weight rolls to one side and suddenly I’m falling again. I land on the hard ground with a big thud which sends immense waves of pain through my body. 

In a state of shock, I look up at the hole I was pushed in but no one is standing there anymore. 

Slowly I get up, holding my side. I can’t move properly. I think I broke or at least cracked a rib. The lights in here are broken and since only a few work, it’s very dim. 

I look up and notice I’m not alone. 

Mansk couldn’t comprehend what happened fast enough. His heart dropped when Jake pointed the gun at him but luckily he ran out of ammo. In the next second, he lost his balance and hit his head on a metal pole next to him, falling over it. He saw Jake take his gun and launch it away before his upper body started tilting back. 

His upper body was resting over what seemed to be a dent in the ground but as he slowly turned in pain, he realised it went further down. Mansk felt as though he was slowly falling through the ground but he couldn’t prevent it because his eyes kept blacking out. He saw how he slowly fell into darkness and his feet lifted into the air, falling with him into the void.

The sound of gunshots and shouts was distant now and he lay at the bottom of the hole he didn’t see before. Light reflected inside from the fire above but it wasn’t strong enough to help him see. 

He groaned in pain, slowly lifting his injured body off the ground and pushing himself against a wall so that he was sitting upright. Mansk saw his shades on the ground next to him and noticed they were broken. 

He once made a joke that he would die with them when Lyle teased him about constantly wearing them. Maybe it was time. 

His head would drop in the direction the ship tilted as he lay limp against the cold metal. 

Mansk shouted for help, calling out the names of the people he thought might still be around but there was no answer. No one heard him.

His vision became blurry and when he looked down he saw his abdomen was covered in a small puddle of blood. Whether it was his he didn’t know. 

But he wasn’t afraid he would die. This is how he imagined it. He knew very well that one doesn’t mourn death in the military on Pandora. Mansk was ready to close his eyes for the last time and die alone, in peace. After all, it was his fate. Even though he hadn’t accomplished his mission, this is what always awaited him. 

He lost track of time and seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness every few minutes. What woke him up was a scream which came from right above him and a thud of a body which landed a few feet from Mansk. His eyes managed to open and he saw a blue figure. Blood pumped through his veins as the feeling of fear returned again but once he noticed the U.S uniform, he dropped his head back in relief. It wasn’t Jake or Neytiri. 

I whine out in agony as I straighten my posture and see Mansk sitting and leaning against a wall. My face brightens and for a second I forget about the pain. 

“Mansk!” I shout, leaning back down on all fours and hugging my waist while looking up at him. He lifts his head and his eyes widen when he sees me. 

“Y/N?” he asks, but his voice sounds weak. I smile, feeling relieved he’s alive and that I’m not alone. 

“Oh thank god, I thought everyone was-” I say, crawling over to him before my hand comes in contact with a small puddle of fluid. I want to shake if off my skin but when I glance down I notice its colour. It’s not water, it’s blood. And it’s not mine but his.

My heart sinks when my eyes move higher up Mansk’s body, noticing how his blood has drenched the clothes on his stomach. When I look up at him he’s gazing at me with half-lidded eyes. Just above them, a new trail of blood is forming and slowly drizzling down the side of his face. 

“Oh, Mansk…” I whisper, ignoring my own pain and kneeling next to him. His eyes follow me as I move around him and he looks weak and exhausted. I don’t think he can move much more than his head. 

“Where are you hurt?” I ask, gently lifting his arm to check whether the blood is coming from his side.

“I don’t know…” he whispers, barely moving his lips or jaw. His eyes occasionally close while I apply pressure to check where the pain is coming from.

I hear him hiss through clenched teeth and I gently return it to its previous position. “Sorry,” I whisper.

He breathes heavily through his nose, looking down at himself. I notice how the blood doesn’t seem to stop. 

“Come on, we need to get you back.” I softly say, lifting his arm over my shoulder. But I didn’t know how to get out of here, I was just hoping that the darkness would lead to a door which could lead us outside.

“No.” he breathes out and his body tenses. I freeze my movements and look at him. 

“You can’t stay here Mansk.” I say, trying to motivate him to see if he can get up. 

“I can’t move.” he whispers, biting down on his teeth as he tries to pull his arm from my shoulder. 

“Y/N, I can’t feel my legs…” His jaw trembles and his voice breaks a little. His words go straight to my heart, seeming to tear it in two.

I look away, furrowing my eyebrows together while I convince myself that there must be another way. Quickly, in hopes of helping him, I lean over his body and apply pressure on his big wound to try and stop the bleeding. 

I feel the corners of my eyes sting and my nose itch. The common sign that showed me I was about to tear up. 

Mansk sighed and when I looked up at him he was softly smiling at me. It wasn’t a happy smile, but an appreciative one. 

Mansk knew that what you were doing wouldn’t save him, but your attempt made him smile. Knowing you cared enough about him not to leave him behind warmed his heart as it slowed its beating. 

“Stop looking at me like that, I’m gonna get you out of here.” I say, having to look away because otherwise, I might just break down. But my words didn’t seem to convince Mansk at all. They just refreshed his fading smile. 

Even if we would somehow make it out of this room, our chances of dying were probably worse on deck because Jake and Neytiri were still there. And if they weren’t, there was no way we could get off this ship. We were both too wounded to fly our Ikrans. It wouldn’t work.

With the next inhale he tensed up and coughed while I steadied him and kept him sitting upright. His legs were motionlessly laying on the floor in front of him while his chest heaved. I noticed him cough out a few drops of blood which is what did it for me. Mansk wasn’t doing well and my hopes of him surviving were dying out. 

“Thank you…” he whispered as his cough finally retreated. I look up at him through glossy eyes, wondering what he meant. I wasn’t going to let him see me cry, because crying would be acknowledging that he wasn't going to make it. As long as I held them back, there was still hope in me. 

“I thought I’d-” he said, being cut off by gasping for air. “...die alone.” 

A smile formed on his lips again as his eyes remained fixed on my face. 

Mansk knew all recom’s were something close to friends but he didn’t think he ever had anyone close enough to him to stay with him through his last moments. He expected to be left behind somewhere, injured and no longer deemed as useful. 

“Come on Mansk, don’t give up on me.” I say, my forced calm voice breaking as I feel my bottom lip begin to quiver. 

“I’m glad you’re here…” he struggled to say, forcing the words out of his pained chest while keeping his faint smile. It was slowly fading again.

I gasp, pressing my lips together to not lose it. I reach for his limp and blood-stained hand and hold it between both of mine. Feeling how cold it is has me fighting back tears. 

I shiver from shock and pain. My broken rib was poking me and it hurt like hell.

"I can't save us." I whisper to myself, my voice trembling.

Suddenly, I feel how my legs are wetted and I look down, dreading to see blood but this time it is water. The room was slowly tilting to one side and the water was flowing in from the other side of the room. Mansk had noticed it too. 

“You-” he said before coughing up more blood and I lost it. “You need to go.” he said, his voice sounding pained and forced. I knew he was suffering but I couldn’t let him die here. 

“I’m not leaving you, Mansk.” I whisper, pressing his palm against my cheek. The tears blur my vision before spilling down my cheek, burning my skin a little. 

“You can- live.” he says, swallowing back a cough while he struggles to breathe. 

I clench my eyes closed, not wanting him to leave me as well. I knew Mansk for a long time and even though we were never really close, he had been a part of my life since I arrived on Pandora. We rarely talked but we knew we had each other's back and it didn’t cross my mind that I could lose him during this war. Now that I was face to face with the aftermath of violence, I was crumbling down. He meant too much to me, I couldn’t let him go. 

“Don’t worry about me.” I whisper, forcing a trembling smile onto my face. I point to the opening of the hole we fell through. “I’ll get out there.” I say and his eyes slowly drift from my face to the opening in the ceiling and then back to me. He doesn’t seem sure of it but he doesn’t question it any further. His movements become so faint that I notice his presence slowly fading away. Mansk’s eyes slowly unfocus from my face and I reach out and cup his cheek while tears continue to spill from my eyes. 

“Mansk-” I sob, trying to stay composed in front of him. He blinked, opening his slowly closing eyes a bit more and looking at me again. 

“... stay with me, come on.” 

My fingers gently tap his cheek while the water on the floor mixes with his blood. 

Mansk opens his mouth to say something but he can’t push out a single word and instead, he slowly struggles to inhale before closing his mouth again. 

I hold his palm against my chest, roughly where my heart is as I try to keep his attention on me. 

“Please, don’t do this to me…” I sob, clutching his hand. He stares at me and his eyes look sad but he can’t say or do anything. 

“Mansk, please you’re all I have left.” I cry out, dropping my head down before looking up at him. 

“Thank you…” he repeats and ever so faintly whispers. He was grateful I was by his side because in truth Mansk did want to live. Mansk wanted to wake up to the morning the next day and be with everyone else. But that wasn’t possible. Not only because he was slowly dying, but because everyone has had since probably died.

I rub my thumb over his cheek, trying to comfort him. He’s looking into my eyes and furrows his eyebrows together a little as if he were confused about whether my tears are actually for him. Like he didn’t think he was worth my pain. 

Mansk looked at me almost apologetically and his lips parted while he tried to get more air into his lungs. I couldn’t see his chest heaving anymore but I felt so mild air fanning from his mouth with small exhales. 

I bit down on my lip, watching him and needing proof of life every few seconds. 

He’s staring at me, grateful he wasn’t left alone and I notice how his eyes start to unfocus again. I gently tap his cheek, waiting for his eyes to readjust like they did last time but this time Mansk’s head is slowly falling to the side and into my palm. His eyes fade out and stare into nothing as they move from my face to the empty space behind me. His soft breath stopped fanning against my hand and his face was no longer contorted in pain or sorrow. It was blank and relaxed. 

Mansk’s hand slowly drifted off my chest and loosely fell on his lap.

I wanted to scream and call his name but all words got stuck in my throat and I held onto him while my mouth gaped open. Tears fell from my face onto his now lifeless and numb body. 

His blood continued to colour the rising water around me red. It had already overflowed his legs and reached up to his waist. 

I held on to his body, pressing my face against his shoulder and crying my eyes out. 

At this point, I had lost absolutely everyone and everything. We couldn’t return to family on Earth because we were Na’vi and now we had all lost each other. 

Z-Dog lay on the top deck with a bow in her hip and one in her face while the ship started to slowly sink. 

Prager lay on his side, motionless with a spear through his chest. 

Lopez’s body had now sunk to the bottom of the ocean after he was shot by an arrow. 

Walker, Zhang and Fike both had been shot down by arrows too.

Warren and Brown got an axe in their body.

Ja I had left behind after he was killed by the Tulkun. 

Lyle was floating in the water, struggling to stay above the surface.

I didn’t know where Quaritch was but I knew he couldn’t help me. 

And Mansk… lay bleeding out in front of me, lifeless and cold. His head was tilted to the side and I knew that he was gone. I could never talk to him again. I would never see him again. I know even if I survived, they wouldn’t retrieve his body and he would stay here and sink with the ship. 

The water was filling the room more rapidly now but I still clung on to Mansk, crying his name. 

I noticed his broken shades floating in the water and picked them up. 

Remembering how much he liked to wear them I steadied his head and carefully put them on him after closing his eyelids. He would have thanked me if he could have for this.

My body was shaking but I knew I was going to die here too if I didn’t leave soon. I get up and the water reached up to Mansk’s neck already. It was gushing in from a half-open door on the other side of the dark room. 

I look up, making sure the exit is still there but suddenly I see the water start flowing in from the top. The entire room is slowly turning over and the water flowing on deck has managed to push over the door which now completely closed off the hole we were in. 

The room gets a lot darker and the water is leaking in from the side and from the top. 

I groan out in pain through my sobs. I have tears staining my cheeks and my nose became runny and stuffed. This isn’t how I wanted things to end. We were finally starting to enjoy being alive on Pandora and now we died because our past selves made us finish something they couldn’t. 

I look back at Mansk and see that he is fully submerged in the water now. I cry out, hating how helpless he is and how helpless I feel now. My side aches even more and I clutch my broken rib, trying to bite back the pain. I wouldn’t be able to swim in this anyway. 

Within minutes, my feet are no longer touching the ground and my head is bumping against the ceiling. I’m crying out for help in pain but no one can hear anything over the noise of the flowing water. I wonder if anyone is still alive but I highly doubt it. There is a crack in the wall which is letting the oxygen in the room be replaced with water. I struggle to swim and keep my head above the surface. 

(Art)

But then I ask myself, why I’m fighting? There was no use to it. Everyone was gone and I was stuck and injured. 

I deeply inhale one last time before the entire room is submerged in water. My eyes open and I peer down at Mansk, who is lifelessly half laying at the bottom. 

Since I’m going to die I might as well join him there so neither of us has to be alone. 

I swim down with the last of my strength, watching how the last few bubbles of air escape his slightly parted lips. My hand once again reaches for his and I hold on to it for some form of comfort before I face upwards and let all the air I have to escape my lungs. 

I start choking and look at Mansk. The light specks on our skin were slightly illuminating the water but his were more faded. I looked closer and watched how the light slowly vanished from him, one dot at a time. 

It wasn’t long before I started drowning and a few minutes later, my lifeless, artificial blue body sunk down and joined Mansk on the floor of the ship.

Our bodies would stay here, most likely forever since all the death here was just a failed mission. 

The lights from my body had now disappeared too and we were dragged down to the bottom of the ocean along with the ship. All because some humans wanted us to finish what they couldn’t.

So there I lay, greeting death with a smile once again, in hopes of meeting Mansk someday and somewhere far from here.

(I'm going to try and make some art to this)

Tag List: @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @number1gal

[quotidian-oblivion]

Writing Positivity Tag!!!

Wasn't tagged, but again saw this game and loved it.

What do you take pride in with your own writing?

Hmmm... probably the plots. Because I really like the ideas and concepts I come up with. I mean, the Bruce Wayne writes fanfic au? I'm still blown away by it.

Did you have any big inspirations from another writeblr?  Who and how?

Ughhhhhh. I have so many. But the biggest ones? @cygnusdoesthings because of her, i'm still writing right now. Cuz the comments she put on My School’s Local Mafia Boss and then the recordings was what made me really, truly, well and fully realize that there were actual people who were saying all those stuff behind the comments. And also she has helped me a whole lot through so much.

@tristicorde cuz i go to her every time i feel low about my writing or about posting something and she always - always - knows the right things to say. Thats because the things she says are just facts. Not reassurances made up for the sole purpose of reassuring, but facts that reassure me. Also, her descriptive style of writing is something i strive to achieve 😭

@wakkoroni It's because of Vibes that I have as many crackfics as i do now (wips and posted). We have such a time and vibe just spouting out shitposts to each other in conversations, as well as incorrect quotes and hypotheses and hcs about the batfam, it is impossible to spend even 5 minutes with her and not get inspired to write or create something.

@sardonic-sprite because the first real fic i wrote (Ya Dun Fucked Up) was inspired by her Harbor. Her fics are the ultimate comfort, the ultimate hurt, the ultimate angst, the ultimate crack, and the ultimate family bonding. If you don't at least appreciate them, you don't appreciate anything.

That was a long answer. Anyways, moving on! (oh, special mention @uncertainwallflower cuz she helped me get past a very incredibly super-awful severe case of writer's block once)

What are you most proud of in your current WIP?

LMAO. WHICH WIP? 🤣

K the main one i'm focusing on rn is the tim gets kidnapped fic co-written with Vibey. And two things i'm most proud of in there are: a) how well mine and vibey's ideas just meld into each other b) the sheer amount of angst sprinkled throughout the fic. It's awesome. I love it.

What is your idea of a perfect day of writing?

Uhhh. I have chocolate milk or boba. I'm sitting at my desk instead of the beanbag cuz the desk is actually clear for once. I'm hyperfocusing as i write and don't notice the time pass by and don't have any pressuring due dates for school and everyone at home is sleeping and the sun is sending its rays through my window and shining on my hair making it go the cool brown color i love as i'm tip-tapping away at my computer. It happened once. I was writing the angstiest thing i had ever written at the time and was shaking. It was glorious.

What’s your big goal with writing?

That I never treat it like a chore. Ig thats more of a wish than a goal.

Then ig a goal would be to make it mean as much to someone else as it does to me. Or for people to just have a blast and let go of their worries and take a break as they read my stuff. But the goal that will never leave is to improve. I take one thing and work on it one by one until it's to my satisfaction. Currently, i'm working on describing settings.

No pressure tags: @uncertainwallflower @cygnusdoesthings @sardonic-sprite @wakkoroni @tristicorde @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego @blightwritesfic @pevensiechase

[amywritesthings]

wanna start by saying, you're writing is absolutely chef’s kiss. I gobble it up every single time💕💕 but do you have advice on how to get the confidence to post the things you make, I have a attack on titan oc that I've been wanting to post about for a long time but my own insecurities get in the way, and I wanted to ask you cuz I've been reading the silver underground and its just awesome💕💕🫶🏾😭

Hi friend!!!!

First of all, thank you for saying such kind words about my writing. I genuinely so appreciate it. I will let you in on a little secret I just told my one moot in a DM this week -- I am also very anxious and insecure when it comes to posting my work!

Trust me when I tell you that, before I press 'publish' on AO3, a thousand worries are going through my mind: What if it disappoints? What if I posted at a bad time when everyone's busy? What if people don't vibe with my 'reader' portrayal? What if no one reads it?

Then I remember why I wrote it in the first place.

Because I went through the tumblr/AO3 tags and went, 'damn, I wish I could read this story but there isn't one out there yet'.

Because no one (literally NO one) can write a story the way I do. You have your own unique spin, your own experiences, your own ideas and portrayals. No one writes Levi Ackerman the same way, and that's beautiful, because all of us fan writers love him just as much as the other yet we bring something new to his character that Isayama did not (just as we will never 100% copy Isayama's ideas because -- well, we are not him!)

Because even if it gets maybe 5 hits, 5 people still looked at it! And I can go back and read the story myself -- which is why I wrote it in the first place! Not for hits, not for followers, but for me.

Because my writing -- and yours -- matters in the fan space. It comes from a place of love. And I think focusing on doing things, sharing things, that you love is so important right now.

If you press 'publish' on your story, you could honestly help someone looking for escapism that wants to read it, whether it's 1 person or 1000. I literally re-read Silver Underground when I'm feeling low just because it's my comfort. And the fact that even one person like you messages me to say it resonated with you, too, really pushes me to keep publishing, even if there are hits and misses to my fanworks.

I know that was a lot of babbling, but I implore you to not worry about what people will think about your Attack on Titan OC. I never thought anyone would read SU when I posted chapter one last April, and that isn't me exaggerating.

My dms are always open to chat xo I hope you join us fic writers!

[jaynovz]

for the fanfic ask game: what work of yours do you feel is the most underappreciated/do you wish got more attention? could we have a small sample of a bit you like?

Okay I thought about this for a long time, cuz I WANTED to say the FlintMadi series or maybe hanahaki or petplay ot4. honorable mentions lol.

But I think the True answer is the John Silver backstory aka a stained glass variation of the truth.

I knew when writing it that like maybe a handful of ppl were EVER gonna engage with this for multiple stacking reasons: the dark subject matter, the underage archive warning, the huge amount of OCs, the Silver/OMC. Lotta death knells for readership lol

but guys I'm SO fucking proud of it and I've read basically every other Silver backstory and mine sort of stands alone in being the most extensive and focused example, by which I mean it doesn't venture into canon events, it tells its own story and is a true prequel (perhaps another death knell lmao) but yeah I'm just really proudddddddddddddd of that okay, I did SO MUCH historical research and historical WRITING isn't my strong suit but I killed it

oh also just to like, clarify, I subscribe to the "all and none" Silver backstory mindset. Meaning that, anything we can dream up could be correct and also there's no answer, these facts exist in my mind simultaneously. What they did in the show, leaving it up to the viewer, leaving it implicit? Yeah that was some fucking MASTERCRAFT and I don't mean to say that one *needs* a Silver backstory per se.

So yeah me writing it wasn't some be-all-end-all statement, but it Was an intensive character study exercise for why I thought he might turn out the way he did.

Anyway, I do not expect this answer to get literally anyone who hasn't already read it to check it out but there it is! thank you for asking <3

and yes here's your excerpt--

The voice John knew well raged inside--venomous, accusing.

Weak. He had to rescue you because you are weak. And now he’s dead. Just like everyone else.

Belatedly, John realized Solomon had been his friend. He had cared about John beyond his usefulness or their alliance. For as skilled as he was at reading people, sussing out their wants, their needs, their tells like the hidden flesh in a mollusc… John had utterly misread Solomon. In the moment, it had seemed so clear-cut, but in retrospect...

He remembered months spent joking warmly, sharing the toil, taking meals together, playing cards, privately mocking the worst of the crew, and telling lie after extravagant lie to one-up each other. They’d been set apart from the other boys, both too clever by half, opportunists who understood each other almost too well. Solomon was always teaching John--how to scale the rigging, the nautical knots, the best hiding places on a ship. He remembered the easy affection the older boy had expressed and the wedge it had driven between them, that John had put there. The recollection pained him and he slapped the side of the ship in anger. As usual, John was too late to recognize and appreciate anything good.

No. A rational voice pushed back. Solomon was a fool.

A mistake. It was a mistake to care about him, it was a mistake to care about anyone but yourself. Solomon had cared about John and what had been his reward? To die, to be forgotten, to be filled up with water and subsumed into the abyss.

In the end, boys like John, like Solomon, mattered to no one. Not to the crew of this ship, nor to the ferocious, unknowable sea, nor to the machinations and fates of the larger world. Boys like them had to make their own safety--carve a spot for themselves by whatever means necessary, be it force or duplicity. He'd learned, many times over, that caring too much for the well-being of other people was wholly incompatible with this goal.

I won't make their mistakes.

The next day it was business as usual for the crew of the Bridgewater; the storm had calmed and they weighed anchor. The drunken man who'd attacked John went unpunished. Indeed the entire event went unremarked upon, as none of the other crew asked after the missing cabin boy.

John had a surreal sense of deja vu; again, it was as if it hadn’t happened at all.

And isn’t that easier? To let it fade into irrelevance?

The other boys eyed the empty spot next to John, but said nothing. They were meek shadows, poor beaten things, colorless compared to all that had been his friend. Numbly, he completed his daily chores, all too aware of the heaviness of the workload. That which used to be split, yoked over two sets of shoulders to lessen the burden, was now his responsibility alone.

Tom. Scrap. Ollie. Lizzie. Mary.

Solomon.

Despite his best efforts, it was yet another name he would try and fail to forget.

[1d1195]

I get scared that I’m in the portion of my life that is the part where everyone said it would get better, and if this is the best I’m going to get…. And I’m not even being ungrateful for some of the good I do have it’s just the bad is so debilitating. I’m at the point now where I’m very sure that there is someone who hears our prayers and wishes and they are just laughing at me. Cuz one time is a coincidence but after over twenty years worth you figure that it’s you. So now I’m at a point where I no longer pray and wish and that’s devastating in its own way. I’m not sure what I want out of messaging you about it, you don’t have to post or respond, I just needed to say it to someone. If I tell my boyfriend it’ll kill him. How do people keep hope and how can I be better at it?

Thank you for feeling safe enough to message me something like this. I know it's hard to say things like this out loud so I'm glad I could offer some help in just you getting it off your chest. Also, fair warning, with these types of messages I tend to ramble and go on and on, so I apologize for that in advance. I don't intend to sound preachy or like I know best, either. You can ignore everything I say, honestly, I won't be offended. The gist of it, is you're not alone and you can't lose hope.

(Upon finishing my answer, it's long-long. Like 1k words)

I'm not an extremely religious person but I totally get what you're saying. My mom always said going to church and saying a prayer would make things that I felt were bad feel better, but I've never really felt much better afterwards. I won't delve too deeply into the religious side of things, but I really understand what you're saying. There are some pretty terrible people in the world who get whatever they want and then there's me who said my prayers before bed for YEARS and asked for help and got nothing in return. It's really hard to feel faithful when it seems like every prayer goes unanswered. I know what you mean by feeling devastated by no longer wanting to pray or wish. But I also think that if you take a break, it's not like you can't go back. One thing I do still believe in is the higher powers that be will always take someone back even if their faith was shaken.

I don't think you're alone in how you're feeling. I've had to redefine my happiness a lot over the last few years. Sometimes it feels like I'm doing myself a disservice by doing so, but it also feels like if I don't then I'll spiral real bad. I feel the same way you do, I have a LOT of good in my life that I'm very grateful for, but it's hard to ignore the overwhelming parts that aren't so good. Even as a society there is so much bad and turmoil. It's hard to believe in good things and a bright future when, especially in the last few years, it seems like the world is on a mission to not have a future. I worry all the time that I will never be able to afford a house or have kids (something I've always, always wanted) and moreover that my parents will never meet my kids because they'll be gone before I can afford it. I worry I'll never be happy with how I look or feel about myself. I worry that my long-term boyfriend will never propose because we can't afford that either. I worry that people are constantly judging how I choose to live my life because of all these things. I always feel behind.

I'm not sure I have the answers on behalf of everyone, but for me, I've chosen to really focus on my own peace of mind. The parts of my life that are good, I spend more time focusing on those things. I have a job that supports the apartment I'm fortunate to have. I love my boyfriend. Because of where I teach I was able to get all my student loans forgiven. I enjoy reading books and writing on here. I am really focusing on being better to my body physically and emotionally. Every time I have pasta or a bake potato I think about how good life is.

I've definitely mentioned it before but I'm very anti-news and I tell everyone it really changed my life by turning it off. I still read headlines so I'm not totally in the dark and I'll look things up if necessary, but not watching all the horrible things that have happened in my state has made me infinitely happier.

Part of my own weird philosophy here is that I have to believe in hope. It's not something I let slip by. I hope all day long. You're not wrong though, it's probably the hardest thing I've ever done because it seems like there's every reason not to have hope these days. It's super frustrating. But I watch these videos of "humans being human" and it's all these heartwarming stories of people catching children out of burning buildings or saving a dog from a flood. They make me cry and make me hope. https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/ is also a REALLY good website to make you believe in humanity and good when you're feeling down.

I think (and hope) your boyfriend would also be supportive if you told him. There's a chance that maybe he feels the same way? Or maybe he can help you feel better in a way that you haven't thought of yet. If you choose to not tell him, I hope you find someone to talk to instead because it's REALLY hard to do this alone. I'm in the same boat as you; I know it's easier said than done. I don't tell my boyfriend how I'm feeling a lot of the time either (that's why I'm always writing cathartic things about how I feel on here).

You're also always welcome to share how you're feeling here. Good or bad. I'm a great sounding board (in my personal opinion). I would love to cheer you on or support you when you're feeling down. Whatever you want. Obviously I'm not a professional, but I can feel how difficult things seem for you in what you wrote. I'm a firm believer in happy endings too, so if this doesn't feel like this is the best, then you haven't hit the best yet. So you can't lose hope. I know it's hard and I don't think enough people say that. Having hope is one of the most challenging parts of my life. I was REALLY negative for...gosh, I think it was something like 6-8 years. My friend pointed out I was really negative. Over a Facebook message. Just said she was worried about me. It was like a switch in me. I didn't realize how bad I got.

So it's not going to be easy, but I hope you don't lose hope. If you feel like you can't, let me know. I'll hope for you too.

Hopefully, (no pun intended) this helped just a little. Please let me know if you ever need to vent, I'm always going to be here 💕

xoxo

[ladyhindsight]

CC is clearly biased for Herondales. She tries really hard to make the reader find Herondales attractive the truth is I never felt more dry reading about Jace, Stephen, Will and James. They do nothing for me. They all have the same personality except for James who has next to no personality aside for being constantly horny for Cordeila. I dare any person disagreeing with my statement give me 5 difference between Will, Jace and Stephen personality wise. Despite all her efforts to make us like Herondales I always found the other characters more attractive. Jem over Will. Anyone over Jace. Michael over stephen. Anna over James honestly anyone over James. Kit is a mini jace no originality. Freaking Manuel from TDA came off as more attractive than Jace and that says alot 💀.

Oh and can someone please tell me her obsession with eyes, weird ass body proportions and no one mentions the way shadowhunters walk sounds hilarious ngl like what what do you mean they walk like cats or lions or dancers. If shadowhunters's walks are like cats does that mean Jace walks are cattier cuz of all the extra angel blood. I try to picture Jace's walking and all I can imagine is Andrew tate's looney tunes fruity ass walk.

Her books are the fast food of literature as a booktuber described it as.

Period.

I said sometime before that the side characters are more interesting because they aren't (as) surrounded by Clare's bias or manipulative narration. Therefore more likable because I am not force-fed how great and amazing they are, I just get to take my time with them and get familiarized with their characters on my own. Problems also arise with Jace having problems more important than the others, that his issues are the grandest and most highlighted. Also Jace, Clary, and Simon are the only necessary characters whose stories are tied to the main plot. Even their romances (Clary with both Jace and Simon) have plot relevance. Others not so much.

As Clare's writing has always been more or less mostly telling than showing, it's not surprising that she needs to tell how amazing the Herondales are instead of actually basing her pretense on actually showing. Instead the readers are just offered this premise in every story, every other character is written just admiring and loving them, so it must be true? Just have characters fawn over someone and you bet the readers will also. Right.

Clare seems to think that other characters telling things is showing.

Clare's attention strips any side character of all intrigue and turns them into what Clare's protagonists usually are. Then they become all looks and hair and eye colors and wear white shirts through which their marks shine through (like Jace literally in every TMI book). Some concepts which Clare presents in her series are complex and complicated, I can agree with that, but her writing is unable to capture any depth or meaning of any of them. Attributing factor to this is her always ending up focusing majorly on love, especially the romantic kind of the main couple, as the motivator. I've read amazing pieces of TSC fan fiction, the kind of thoughtful and honest looks on the characters that Clare is unable to acknowledge on her part.

Her writing only presents the shallowest of emotions. Her writing on grief, loss, or love aren't really thought-provoking, just more cookie-cutter ideas on top of the previous ones. Not that all writing absolutely needs or has to be insightful, it's just that people pretend her writing is deeper than it actually is. Like people think chopped-up sentences are anything but surface-level poetry when in its essence poetry as an art and craft is more than that.

Everyone is so right on money with James' lack of personality. When he got furious with Grace (rightly so BUT) I felt really weird about it. Your message really helped me figure it out though: I had no idea of his personality nor any prediction on how he may react to more controversial happenings. Well, that's not true. Everyone on the Righteous Side of things in TSC always react with fury, roasting the antagonists crisp with their verbalism. But still I had no idea. Who is this guy calling Grace a criminal and a fiend? I don't know him at all.

And what makes the Herondales great really? I don't see why James or Will are anymore heroic than Clary, Cordelia, Emma, Simon, Alec, or Isabelle. I don't think Tessa as particularly heroic but that's also my faint memory of TID and disgust of her talking, so this is not to be entirely trusted.

[roobylavender]

i mean most abusers do love the people they abuse. abuse isn’t something done with intention or malice half the time, it’s done by people thinking they’re doing the right thing. bruce’s love and need for control are constantly in conflict with each other and that’s why the robins are stuck waging a war against him. i feel like a big part of a dysfunctional parent-child dynamic is feeling trapped by your parent’s love. Even if you hate it, it’s still canon that Bruce has been historically bad with dealing with his kids. Half of them don’t even feel comfortable calling him dad cuz the relationship seems so undefined or shaky. In Dick’s case i feel like he has no grounds to oppose robin and his vigilantism because Bruce (deep down) loved having someone like dick around to fight crime with. They both refer that time as “the good old days” so it’s not like Bruce was truly opposed. It’s only when the actual reality of that negligent and naive behaviour materialises that he realises he fucked up (robin year one eg). Then he treats Dick in such a cold manner that Dick believes if he’s not robin, he’s not wanted. This has been a pattern since the golden days so no it’s not ooc for Bruce. Yes the natural conclusion to all the modern day tension should be for both parties to meet and resolve their issues but Bruce is still the abuser at the end of the day, and even though Dick’s self sacrificing nature might easily forgive him, on a textual level it should be clear that a true resolution between the two would need Dick to dig deeper, and for Bruce to be ready for rejection from his son.

i don’t disagree with that assessment of abuse like it’s absolutely true, but my problem is i don’t think the cold or controlling behavior is really a consistent enough pattern until we move into post-crisis canon. for several decades dick and bruce have a great rapport with each other bc that’s what everyone knows they’re supposed to have. like i don’t think most writers from the golden or silver age if asked that they intended to write bruce as an abuser would agree and say yes, and that distinction to me is impt, bc sure, we can take what we’re reading on a surface level and project our own experience or modern understanding of relationships onto it, but i don’t think that should happen to the extent authorial intent is superseded bc then you start to enter territory where you’re divorcing narrative from genre conventions. if we go by the assumption that bruce is an enabler and abuser for allowing dick to be a hero for so long without purported attention paid to his safety then that establishes practically every hero within the universe possessive of a sidekick as an abuser. and i do get that some people are interested in following that thread like esp in post-crisis we see that exploration a lot but ig for me personally it’s kinda like the thing that breaks the camel’s back and withholds the entire genre from actually allowing itself to explore more pertinent issues. not to say abuse isn’t a pertinent issue, it absolutely is and i do think there’s ways it can still be explored, but the primary reason the genre was established in the first place was in response to fascism. obv the engagement with that wasn’t necessarily complex early on but it’s incredibly impt to the development of the genre and as we can see in a modern context how that response to fascism or lack thereof is conveyed can be incredibly influential in terms of facilitating support or not for fascist government. so my issue is like, yes, it’s impt for bruce’s faults in these relationships to be addressed to a constructive and worthwhile extent, but i also think writers have gone so drastically far in curating those faults in the post crisis era that it’s effectively restricted the scope of the stories they’re allowed to tell, bc they’re more focused on individual instances and relationships within this world than they are on any form of commentary that reflects the operations of the world at large in relation to regulation of crime

[thewritingginger]

Obey Me! Brothers React: Baby?!?

This is a VERY old request that I actually found I had when scrolling through my blog lol

I liked it so much so I did the thing. It also gives some fluff between all the sin I have in my WIPs 

Enjoy~

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Lucifer:

Probably the calmest out of the bunch

“Are you okay?” “I’m prepared to take responsibility and make sure you’re happy.”

Makes sure you have your doctor appointments and goes with you

Very attentive to your needs

Over all he is pretty organized and prepared . . . on the outside

On the inside he’s a bit of a hoverer, but never too obvious. Just kinda stands to the side and observes,”just in case” you are carrying precious cargo afterall

Also he won't say it outloud but seeing your growing belly makes his pride shine the most and very territorial of you more than usual You are his and everyone will know

Kinda low-key didn’t not-not try to impregnate you but you didn’t hear that from me…

You and lucifer ended up having a Baby Boy Great another boy in the house

“Am I just destined to be surrounded by boys my whole life?” “I can always try to give you a girl. Just tell me when.” 😉

Yeah you’ll probably wait a year or two to actually plain for another baby, that is if Lucifer doesn’t “if it happens it happens”you again and BOOM baby #2 smh

Not as strict as one may think when thinking of Lucifer’s parenting style

Mammon definitely has something to say about that 

Does like to try and keep to a daily schedule of when they not just eat and sleep but also scheduled play and study time when they get to that age

Mammon:

He may need an ambulance

JK but he is a bit of a nervous wreck

Wait till he finds how birth works

But after the initial shock he is still worried about you

Maybe a bit overbearing

“Mammon, I can walk! I’m pregnant, not crippled.” “What? I can’t carry you around for no reason now?”

You end up having a Baby Girl

Cue panic mode!

Must protect baby girl at all costs Daddy mode engaged!

“My Love, you don’t have to watch her all night. She’ll be fine.” “I don’t know that!”

That dad that gets upsetty spaghetti if a “snot-nosed brat” messes with his perfect daughter on the playground

Leviathan:

Levi.exe has stopped working

Try turning off and turning on and try again later

Wasn’t ready for you to say it

I mean sure you guys do do the do, bUt hOw?!?!?

“Can we go back?” “Levi this isn’t a video game level.”

Don’t get him wrong he’s not mad just scared!

He’ll get into it after he has time to process it 

“I guess it would be nice to have another player when your busy.”

Started “practicing” with a life simulator game

You and Levi had a baby boy!

Games galore! 

When your little boy is still a baby obviously he can’t play video games with Levi but Levi has surprisingly really liked playing peek-a-boo

You do find Levi with your son on his chest as he plays video games most of the time when he’s watching him 

Satan:

Is about tied with Lucifer on the calm factor

Actually knew before you told him

“How the heck did you know, I just told you.” “Your period was late.”

Read all the books he can find on parenting and newborns in both humans and demons

You kinda wished he didn’t read so much because it went from ‘just wanting to cover all bases’ to being a bit of a worry wart and always “helping” you and “informing” you

Can you say Papa Bear!!! VERY protective!!!

Will damn near bite someone's head off if they bump into you especially w/o apologizing

Reads and/or plays music for the baby every night

“They say they can start to hear and recognize things in the womb at about 18-24 weeks. I have so many books I’d want to show them so might as well start early.”

Finds himself talking to and kississing your belly when your asleep late at night

“I promise I’m gonna make sure I’m the best Dad for you!”

Does touch your belly though everytime he kisses you

You and Satan had a Baby Girl

Truely a Daddy’s girl! She definitely has him wrapped around her little finger

He denies it but it’s true lol

Checks under the bed for “the scaries” every time she asks 

“You know Daddy will always protect you!”

Obviously the one to teach her to read and write. Making sure they get at least 30 mins of reading time together where they take turns

You’ve walking into the library many times to see Satan laying on the couch with your daughter on his chest, both asleep

At some point he finally admitted to you that he’s scared to “let her go”

He wants his baby girl to be his baby forever but he knows sadly she has to grow up but he hopes that when that happens they still have their book discussions and reading time together

It’s how he bonds with her the most.

Okay. Okay. I’ll stop cuz we should know I love Daddy Satan so I’ll stop before i get out of hand lol

Asmodeus:

OMG A NEW DOLL TO DRESS UP!!!

Ok but really he is excited

“With my charm and your cuteness, this child is gonna be the most sought after person in devildom.”

The day you told him he started preparing their room. Filling the room with bins of stuffed animals and toys

And clothes. Lots and lots of clothes.

“Asmo we don’t even know the gender yet.” “That’s ok! What ever we don’t use I guess we’ll just have to make another for those.”

He is gonna be in for a rude awakening literally when the baby comes

Say goodbye to your beauty sleep Asmo 

You and Asmo had a Baby Girl

When he found out you were having a girl, demon lord help this new doll baby

Dress up everyday 

Loves parading her around in his arms or the stroller

“Excuse me, Princess coming through!” 

Beelzebub:

Telling him you were pregnant made him really happy!!!

“I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.” “You’ll be the best mother.”

Of course he was nervous but he had you and you always knew how to make him feel better

And when the stress of the actual baby came up he just focused on what he did know

Snacks. Snacks. & more Snacks!!!

Your pregnancy cravings were arguably the easiest part of your pregnancy for him because he was always down to go get them for you it also gave him an excuse to get more snacks for himself too and he got to try all your favorite snacks and weird concoctions you’d want.

You and Beel had surprise, surprise. Twins!!!! Fraternal Twins to be exact, a boy and a girl

One baby was scary enough but, multiply it by two!?!? Oh nelly.

But Beel really has a way to calm you.

Divide and conquer is your modo

He’ll bathe and clothe them and you feed them Beel has helped with the feeding but somehow the food seems to disappear rather fast and the rest you share and tag in and out of

Belphegor:

Baby?!?!?

I’m sorry. He must have heard you wrong.

Maybe he is still asleep and this is a dream

But nope. It’s not! You are tellin his face that he had accidentally put a … baby… inside you…

“Are you really pregnant?” “Yup” “I’m telling you right now I’m getting rid of it if it interferes with my sleep.”

Yeah… that didn’t happen :)

He lost sleep, yes. But although annoyed he was even shocked with how attached?!? He was to the child

Oh you had a boy!

You thanked the heavens for not “gifting” you with twins

A plus is your little boy takes after his father when it comes to sleep

Altho he’s still a baby so restless nights are still very much in your future 

Belphie gifted him his very own special pillow :3 He was sick of his kid stealing/hogging his

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I kinda went into them as parents bit oops  I got too excited lol

Maybe I can do more Daddy AUs in the future if that’d interest anyone.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I really liked writing it.  I can’t be the only one obviously that really likes Daddy AUs :3

I love the fluff and I hope you do too :D

~ Undateables Reactions ~

💛 ~

[kimmyyang]

210503 My favorite moments & translations of the SHL concert including the warming up livestream

1. Zhao Jing calling fans adopted sons and daughters during the livestream and revealing that there will be a game where they hug each other, telling fans to look forward to it (he knows what we want to see haha).

2. Gong Jun arrived at the livestream first, but he still waited for Zhang Zhehan and told Zhang Zhehan to introduce himself first.

3. Zhang Zhehan saying he will talk less as he needs to take care of his throat for the actual concert, so Gong Jun talked mostly in the livestream (translation is here).

4. In the beginning of the concert, ZZH introduced himself: "I'm your Ah Xu." (T ^ T)

5. The MCs asked the casts to write down their top 1 iconic scene, some of them picked the scene where Gao Chong died. GJ & ZZH were having a discussion and the MCs were like "why do these two have to discuss their top 1 scene?" (yeah, you just need to write your own fave scene, it's not pair work LMAO) ZZH picked "you're not worthy" scene where they had to fight against Ye Bai Yi, and GJ picked the sun basking scene where they called each other 'Lao Wen', 'Ah Xu' 3 times. ZZH said: thanks to Gao dage's iconic scene, they got to rest haha.

6. Gao Chong, Zhao Jing & Shen Sheng sitting behind GJ & ZZH wrote "Lao Wen ♡ Lao Zhou" on their whiteboards, they were laughing so much while holding it up.

7. When they played the sun basking scene, the MCs asked GJ "you were pretty focused when watching the scene." GJ replied, "it reminded me of the time when we were filming, it felt so warm just like now, I'm being surrounded with love."

8. MCs said that ZZH added the part where calling Lao Wen's name 3 times. ZZH said: "yes I even asked GJ to call Ah Xu 3 times, I like the number 3 and calling the names 3 times shows 3 different emotions". When MCs asked them to reenact the scene, I heard CWN saying he wants to see it. (I hope I didn't mishear it lol and the MCs were smiling so much while watching them)

9. After ZZH finished singing Gu Meng (T ^ T), the fans were all screaming 'lao po'. XDDD

10. At the beginning of the game segment, when the rules came up on the screen. Fans were screaming loudly and ZZH said: "did you guys even read/ understand it to be screaming like that?" And one of the MCs said: "shouldn't that be Ye Bai Yi's job to diss people?" (The MCs definitely did a lot of prep before the concert haha XD and that is the hugging game Zhao Jing talked about in the livestream)

11. GJ & ZZH were laughing hehehehe when they found out they got the same number.

12. The MCs had to say a number, they have to find enough people to make that number. At one point Ye Bai Yi was with 3 actresses, and ZZH said: "Ye Bai Yi you're a guy and you're hugging 3 girls??? I didn't expect you to be like this." (AHAHAHAHA)

13. I missed out on what happened with CWN & GX, but it seems that they wanted to get eliminated together. (T ^ T)

14. So at the end, ZZH and Cheng Ling won the game and GJ was like: "the person who won the game will sing until tomorrow's concert." (LOL)

15. GJ said: "I feel like you guys planned it out to make me lose the game." (ZZH called 'Lao Wen' 3 times here ahhhh GJ kinda just gave up lol) "Am I right, didi?" Cheng Ling replied yes. ZZH asked GJ to dance as a punishment but GJ forced ZZH to dance and ZZH was like why do I have to do it when I won the game?? Then ZZH sang and GJ danced to 爱的恰恰 (so cute I cry) GJ couldn't do the dance properly, he explained: "I need to save my energy, I have to sing later."

16. When they were picking the winners for the prizes, GJ said: "it's so unfair to the bottom floor, they haven't won anything." ZZH then jokingly added: "the people on the bottom floor, they're super fast at getting the tickets and they're pretty rich too." (because the tickets are more expensive) GJ jokingly followed: "then let's pick someone from level 3, haha I actually did pick out level 3 (from the bag)."

17. Another game, the MCs asked them to say something fierce to the other team, GJ was facing his teammates and kept saying (I can't remember what he said) really loudly. And ZZH was like did you not understand (the instructions) why are you shouting at your teammates? (AHAHAHAHAHA come on I don't think he would say anything fierce to his lao po XD)

18. I can't remember what happened but Ye Bai Yi shouted: "卧槽 (fuck)" during the game segment. (really loudly!!! and I haven't heard any Chinese actors/ celebrities say that in public lmao)

19. GJ couldn't find all the nails on ZZH and asked: "where did you guys hide it?" Ye Bai Yi lifts up ZZH's clothes and said: "here". GJ said:" I can't reach there, they won't be able to broadcast it." (asdfghjklfuuuuu)

20. When they reenacted the "you're not worthy" scene and still bickering like 3-year-olds XDDD

21. When Cao Wei Ning & Ah Xiang were singing Yuan Mie, Ah Xiang got so emotional she cried and messed up, so Cao Wei Ning sang her lines and held her hand really tightly. (I CRIEDDDD)

22. Afterwards, ZZH & GJ walked out with Cheng Ling (then everyone came out too). GJ forgot to bring the red bracelets and ZZH was like "where are the red bracelets? Lao Wen did you give it to someone else?" (AHAHAHAHA)

23. When they had to put the red bracelets on each other's wrists, CWN's hands were shaking so much, you can literally feel how nervous he is through the screen. (sobs) CWN called Ah Xiang "Cao furen (my wife)" and GX called Cao dage "my husband". (T ^ T)

24. When Xi Sang Gui came into the centre, she said: "Ah Xing (WKX) when will it be your wedding?" GJ just smiled and side-eyed ZZH. XDD

25. GJ said that SHL means a lot to him, it's a special, irreplaceable drama to him. I think he also thanked ZZH. ZZH said: "thank you shanrens who're here and watching in front of the screen for giving us the chance to dream and made our dream come true. (no, thank YOU for bringing Ah Xu into our lives T ^ T)

26. Picking winners again and CWN was trying so hard to find the bottom/ centre area card. (so cute)

27. ZZH & GJ singing Tian Wen, ZZH got confused at the start and GJ helped him to get back into the right key, they both laughed and it was just so cuteeeee. And GJ said: "everyone together" which made ZZH laugh cuz you don't usually say that during a slow song lmao.

28. Liu Qianqiao presented 嗑 upside down which is phonetically “嗑到了/ kdl” and it means my ship (cp) is sailing.

Day 2

[worldviewcast]

The Origin of Worldview

So this is going to be a semi-personal, but also a semi-explanation post about alot of the background info regarding Worldview.  Yes it’ll be a long somewhat boring wall of text for many of you, but to ME it’s words I feel need to be said and it would mean the absolute world to me if people would take the time to hear me out.  Even if its only gonna be the five of you that continue on after this. Anyway...

Worldview technically started forming in my mind when I was probably about fifteen. (For reference, at the time of writing this, I’m about half a year to thirty-one) I was really into doing comics, I had done probably a hundred pages of a really dumb fantasy comic I came up with when I was TWELVE, a Sonic fancomic, and every morning on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I would upload my micron inked and colored pencil story about some DnD characters into the school scanner to post on Drunkduck which is probably all still there today. Adventure’s Guild is missed in my heart, for sure.  But in between looking for my first job, the constant writing and doodling I was doing, and my schoolwork I was tossing another idea around in my head. A really DUMB idea, cuz ya know I was FIFTEEN. And I wanted to call it ‘My Big Brother the Ninja’. At the time I was influence by all the dumb anime I was watching and my best friend at the time who always wore black and stood about two feet over me. I don’t know if he’ll ever read this, but trust me if he knew I was talking about this he would recognize this story right away.  Well. My first job came around, along with my post secondary college work, and then a tech school I paid for, and.....life really started to get in the way of development. I was more focused on drawing Adventures Guild and other doodles for a long time, and soon enough taking care of my daughter took precedence over everything, and then I started sewing, and doing conventions....and the idea of ‘My Big Brother the Ninja’ was just stuck in the back of my head. Sitting. Waiting. Forming slowly as it waited for its existence - its time in the sun.  And at some point I decided I wanted Android/Robotic like characters too...some of my FAVORITE series are Kikaider : The Animation and Chobits (the books, not the infants show they try to pass a a fully written anime) - things like that. So I KNEW long before Worldview had a proper name I would be writing robot characters with a twist. But I couldn’t figure out what that twist was, what would make it work. The whole idea was still....building. It needed a push.  Right around the time My Hero Academia came around everyone with a creative mind seemed to be suddenly struck with a similar idea - what if unique powers WEREN’T so unique in a world?  This is fairly common now, but at the start of MHA I remember finding it weird that suddenly every half the new shows out had a whole population of super powered badasses in a world where living daily life with it was more the norm than the exception.  And I remember finding it REALLY weird this all came out the same time I evolving a similar idea for my own thing.... I wish I could prove I was evolving this ideas before I saw em but I can’t. I have a much deeper theory about the evolution of cultural art and how influences drive creative minds to similar conclusions but that’s a LONG mental dive for another day.  ANYHOW.

So my original idea in ‘My Big Brother the Ninja’ was the Ninja would be the weird super power in the normal world.  NOW I wanted the NINJA to be the ‘normal’ one...and the younger sister would be the WEIRD one because she DIDN’T have some sort of power or ability.  I fell in love with this new dynamic and now things were REALLY starting to come together in my mind, what kind of powers were people gonna have, just HOW mundane was it gonna be, how many fantasy elements did I want to have?  Because I already KNEW another element I really wanted to include was modern day Paladins - and YES I WILL be covering modern-day style Paladins in Worldview proper, but this meant the universe needed a Deity system, a hierarchy or pantheon.  And the world just started to grow....but something was still MISSING, the binding, the elements of what all I wanted to do -  Aaaaaaaaaand then came UNDERTALE.  And yes this ENTIRE long post is just me mini ranting about how WV came to be so people can TRULY understand just HOW much is inside MY universe so we can stop tagging it as part of the UT Multiverse please and thank you - it’s not that I don’t UNDERSTAND the confusion, but here is your ultimate ‘for the record’ post regarding mine and @little-noko ‘s personal frustrations. Undertale was obviously a HUGE part of pop culture, personal experiences, my life, MANY of my readers lives, I GET why the emotional connection is there and why its the first thing that comes to mind - but the ONLY part I truly was fascinated by with Undertale was the way the Souls were.  PHYSICAL Souls - an actual magical entity that represented a person - THIS idea.  This was my missing piece.  To say artists get inspiration from other artists is beyond an understatement - even Sans and Papyrus are references to Helvetica, right? If not references, inspired by, or ‘great minds think alike’, whatever your argument there....its not uncommon.  And Souls being PHYSICAL was the element I wanted to play with - the idea I wanted to expand on, and so much more I want to go into detail about but don’t want to go into spoilers yet so I’m not going to - and the absolute CRUX of my frustrations when dealing with ‘WV is just UT with different characters’.  Worldview has.....humans. Only humans, divided into four race. Mechanoid. Masic. Skeleton. Metazoan. (The last one exclusively because I wanted an excuse to draw cute cat girls, so sue me)  A pantheon of Gods. It’s own world map. Special BIOLOGY that I have developed to work specifically with the races I have built. Ability trees (diagram to come, don’t worry, we’re just still working out the kinks).  It’s own countries, nationalities, and even it’s own tangible form of afterlife which I blame watching WAY too much Supernatural on but HEY Reapers are freaking COOL man.  It’s absolutely gut wrenching painful to have people argue with me over a world that I have nurtured and slowly tended to for a good fifteen years...now that it finally, FINALLY gets a chance to exist and be worked on....I feel like the one binding element I finally found and played with and tried to expand on is the ONLY element that people care about. As if absolutely EVERY other element that I want to show just - doesn’t EXIST. We started with Finch because its a good transition from the old projects to the new and it’s the earliest event in the timeline - nothing more than that. But I’m almost starting to feel like that was a mistake because it’s TOO familiar.  There’s no going back now, and thats fine. But it does make me anxious to move on to the next ‘chapter’ we’ll be delving into.  MAN.  I hope that helps clarify a few things.  I love answering questions (those that I can) about  WV...so my ask box is always open.  For those that made it, thanks for listening. :) 

[wispforever]

if youre still doing the character thing, how about spirit or marie?

I sure am. How about Spirit And Marie? Both wonderful characters. I’ll do Marie first, then Spirit. Thanks for the excuse to infodump, really. You people are too kind.

Marie Mjolnir

My first impression of Marie was the same impression I get of most female characters in anime. It’s either “why do their clothes have to look like that” or “oh god here comes the obligatory sexist heteronormative romance”. For Marie, it was more of the second. They mention in the same episode she’s introduced that Stein is her “first love”, which told me that if she had a large place in the plot, her assigned male counterpart around which to orbit would be him. Though I’ve never read the Soul Eater manga, I believe they do end up getting together there (I could be wrong). Whatever the case, I was relieved that Marie’s and Stein’s relationship (though heavily implied to be romantic, at least on Marie’s side) was left open to interpretation in the anime. I’m just very sick of cool badass female characters like Marie being reduced to the man they pine after. So, I guess my first impression of Marie and my impression of her now are largely the same. While I appreciate the moments we get to see her strengths and ability to operate on her own, I do think that her character really suffers because of the whole sexist “oh gosh all I want is to find a husband and retire” “oh my I have to take care of Stein” like okay, I had enough at the cat girl smothering Soul with her humungo-tits. I had enough at sexualizing underage girls and women in general. I had enough at making sexual harassment a punchline. That being said, when we push all of the shitty writing to the side, I admire Marie for her strength and how she interacts with the children, Crona in particular. Which leads me to my favorite moment(s).

The relationship Crona and Marie have interests me the most, since I’m really drawn to the parallels between Marie and Medusa. As parental figures (and as characters), they’re about as different as you can get. As Crona’s mother, Medusa is obviously abusive. Along with being negligent, she abuses Crona mentally, emotionally, and physically. In general, Medusa is a person who doesn’t appear to value interpersonal relationships, putting it nicely. She instead is more focused on her own interests, often to the detriment of those around her. Crona is Medusa’s only immediate family (besides Arachne who she is estranged from), and so they suffer the most from her refusal to show even a shred of human decency or warmth. They suffer especially because they are her child, meaning they’re stuck with her essentially, and repetivie abuse between family members like a mother and child often becomes complex because of the necessity of having a parental figure in your life to support you as you grow up. Medusa teaches Crona that their boundaries don’t matter and that they are only good as long as they are useful and do as they’re told. This is what makes Marie’s influence on Crona so cool to watch. Marie is caring by nature, loving and nurturing by nature. Her very wavelegnth is healing. She is kind and does what’s right reflexively. Marie is the exact embodiment of what Crona always needed but what, even upon being rescued by the academy, still felt so foreign to them: unconditional love. Crona struggles to understand why the other kids helped them, why Maka felt the inclination to stop their battle and save Crona instead by trying to understand them, why the kids are still so kind to them even after everything. They do not understand that love is not a bargaining chip. It isn’t leverage in an argument. It’s not a tool for emotional manipulation. Love is caring for the people close to you, just because. Love for the sake of love. The other kids and teachers at the academy are the ones who are able to pull Crona out of all Medusa’s lies, and Marie is a Huge part of that. Even though I have greivances with this being the largest part of her character and what that implies for female characters in general, it doesn’t stop being so beautiful to me that she could help Crona heal in this way. Marie = best mom for the win

Most of the story ideas I have for Marie involve her relationship with Crona or Stein. Say, this covers my unpopular opinion too. I don’t like Stein and Marie as a couple, but I really enjoy writing them as friends, because even though I don’t really jive with them being together romantically, I think their dynamic is an interesting one to explore because they Are so different.

Getting into that a little bit more, I’d like to start by saying I don’t care if other people like Stein and Marie being a couple. That’s great doods, keep doing you. The fanart’s adorable, the meta’s fantastic. Whoever you are, SteinMarie shippers, ffs keep kicking ASS. This is just my preference and opinion. Zero shade in this house. That said, because of my frustrations about Marie’s character I discussed in the first paragraph, I don’t like the idea of her and Stein being together romantically. It’s really a classic sexist trope: the troubled man and his sweet nurse. I’m also just fed up in general with the hetero-nonsense, so there. However, they are both wonderful characters that I enjoy very much seperately. Also, I think it’s worth mentioning that I’ve only seen the anime, so I can’t speak for the manga as far as their relationship or Marie’s character in general.

Oh shit I accidentally already talked about this one lmao [see the second paragraph]

One headcanon I like to think about when I’m writing Marie is that she likes women (in addition to men or not) and she struggles with comphet. Just something interesting I like to think about. It’s really fun for me to take characters who have been written as pining or had 10 million failed relationships and be like “say what if they can’t find a husband cuz really what they really need is a wife”. I’ll talk about that more with Spirit inevitably.

Spirit Albarn

My first impression of Spirit, obviously him being a cheater, really came with a lot of distaste. I come from a family that was torn apart by infidelity, among other things, so it really rubs me the wrong way. However, his saving grace for me was that he genuinely loves his daughter. It appears that, whether it’s played for laughs or not, he just can’t find fulfillment in his romantic relationships. The reason is left up to the veiwers. Spirit, ultimately, is not just a shitty person, which is how most cheaters are protrayed in media. “Well, they cheated because they don’t care if they hurt people”, “they cheated because they are shit and that’s it”. That’s a fine explanation if you plan to do nothing with whatever character you’re describing, but Spirit is relatively recurring and is shown to be neither mean-spirited or emotionally unintelligent. It bothers me that his cheating and routine sexist behaviour isn’t taken seriously enough to be a subject that Soul Eater tackles and deals with. But that’s fine. I’ll just do it myself. At any rate, I still feel that same way about Spirit’s character, but I find it intriguing that he seems to genuinely want to become a better father and is actually a pretty good dad when it comes to his interactions with Maka. If Soul Eater had been brave enough to develop him more, maybe delve into the reasoning behind his impulsive romantic affairs, I think Spirit as a character could have been done more justice. It seems to me that he could be suffering from some of that wonderful compulsory heterosexuality that I mentioned before, then becoming confused when the woman he claims to love leaves him feeling empty. Rattling my gay little cage

When I think of my favorite moments with Spirit, I think of his moments with Maka, but I’m gonna hold off on that until I get to favorite relationship(s). In reference to what I talked about in the first paragraph, one moment I find really interesting when I’m thinking about my interpretation of Spirit’s character is the scene where he and Maka are on the roof talking. Maka asks Spirit why he cheated on her mother if he did, in fact, love her. He doesn’t appear to know the answer, and he doesn’t really understand how to effectively communicate that, though he was shitty husband, what he really wants now is to try and be a better dad. We hear his inner monologue, and he says something like “I love you [Maka] and your mama. That’s the truth. That’s the truth. That’s the truth.” Every time he says “its the truth” it sounds more like he’s forcing it. This is actually something that is SO strange to me. Even if I didn’t project a queer narrative on to the characters I love, I would look at this and be like “huh that is a Weird thing to say in that specific way”. Why does he say it like that? Why does he have to say it more than once? He’s only talking to HIMSELF. It isn’t like he’s trying to convince Maka. Why does he have to convince himself?? Could it possibly be because he’s reached a conclusion about his romantic/sexual orientation that he’s been trying to swallow his Entire Life??? makes ya wonder, doesn’t it, queers?

Just like I said when I talked about Stein, most of the stories I have in mind with Spirit center around that sweet gayness. But also, I like to think of ways Spirit could come to terms with his sexuality, how it might have affected him when he was young, his relationship with all these women, with his wife. I love to think about him being a dad at 18 and trying his best, but how much responsibility that must have been. Lots of great ideas when it comes to Spirit.

Um? unpopular opinion would be all the standard like I said with Stein lmao. “Oh no!” scream the heteros, “that they/them on tumblr is making Soul Eater queer we canst not allow that in our church!!!111!” But besides that, maybe even the fact that I think he’s redeemable?? Idk most everyone I’ve met thinks Spirit is funny at least and just calls him a dumbass and a slut (affectionate). Doesn’t mean anybody thinks cheating on your wife 56 times is okay so. I like this fandom, it’s chill here. My favorite is when I see my art tagged like “aw the stupid man and his crazy bf” like YOU ARE RIGHT

My favorite relationship when it comes to Spirit (besides Stein cuz if I start talking about them again I’ll never finish this ask) is the one he has with Maka. If you can call it a relationship lol. I guess I just find Spirit’s approach to Maka as a parent really refreshing. Not that the parents in other shows don’t love their kids or whatever, it’s just that the loving parent always seems to be paired with some other trope that makes their character hard to approach. especially in anime. Like the perfect mother who dies in the first episode, and we spend the rest of the show mourning her. Or the father whose love is somehow everlasting even though he’s never home. It’s really the fact that Spirit is even THERE that I love. He knows what Maka is up to. He talks about her. He’s invested in her life, and he loves her. All he wants is to spend time with her, and though he’s sad when she turns him down, he doesn’t push her. god dammit I just like a dad who actually loves his kids without all the usual strings attached like. oh my kids are a huge pain in my ass, but I love them in spite of it. oh i’m a man so can’t relate to my children in a meaningful way but i try. Get the fuck outta here with that shit. I want all the dads to get so happy when their daughters wanna hang with them that they throw up like Spirit. Give me the guy who loves his daughter so naturally, whose daughter is such a huge part of his life, that it doesn’t even occur to him stop trying even if she literally wants to murder him. That’s Spirit. jfc

To end with a cute little headcanon, I really love to think that when Spirit gets older and starts losing the color in his hair, instead of getting white or grey, his hair turns a pale pink color cuz he’s such an aggressive redhead. Wouldn’t that just be adorable? late 30′s, early 40′s, Spirit starts getting little pink streaks in his hair and then bam. Little pink old man Spirit XD

There ya have it. Thanks for the ask, and feel free to send more.