#cuz remus doesn't deserve him

[littlestkoi-n]

I've been thinking about how much I adore Tonks and Remus' dynamic but physically cannot ship them because my brain is being weird about their fucking age gap. this is so frustrating. they would have been so lovely for me if Tonks was like at least 27 in 5th book. Ronks (yeah I'm not calling it Remadora, Tonks hates her birth name ffs) would have been my ride-or-die alongside Jily and Wolfstar for sure.

because literally nothing else that Ronks antis consider deal breakers for them matters to me - not the fumbled way they get together in canon, not them getting married so quickly, not Tonks getting pregnant, not the assumed queer-coding of both characters (which I personally see, don't get me wrong. but it's assumed and who the fuck says they can't be queer4queer anyway?). sure, the nuclear family narrative being pushed so quickly and thoroughly onto them is peculiar but who says they didn't want to make the most of their time during a war? I love wartime drama and they would have been my shit if it weren't for... well. Tonks being 22 and Remus 35 when they meet.

I just can't ship big age gaps unless the youngest character is closer to 30 than 20. which is infuriating, because Ronks is objectively more fascinating because of their gap. my fucking loss, don't you think?

anyway, after thinking of ways I can make Tonks older without hurting the story, I began wondering whether her age is narratively important, and yes, turns out it very much is - for Harry.

Tonks being 22 in order of phoenix makes her the closest of Order members to Harry's age (Weasley twins don't count because they're Ron's brothers first, order members second for Harry) and the one Order member Harry can relate to the most in his youth and desire to fight. She almost perfectly parallels marauders and Lily in first war and represents the fun of the fight, the fire of youth, the confidence of a new recruit, the safety of relatability for Harry. She's one of the biggest inspirations for his newfound dream of becoming an auror. Harry needs Tonks among those older, battle-worn, cautious, secretive adults who don't take him seriously and never look him in the eye, because he wants to be what she is even before realising it and only reflects on it after spending time with her.

all in all, Tonks being 22 matters quite a lot for Harry's story.

now, we have no way of knowing whether Joanne came up with Ronks storyline prior to Tonks' introduction, but it shouldn't matter for their relationship, not in Joanne's opinion - Tonks' youth already fulfilled its narrative role in order of phoenix and stopped being an important asset of her character in half-blood prince.

oh, but unfortunately it still matters in the grand scheme of things, Joanne. you don't just introduce a young adult character (I'm 21 myself and gods, 22/23 is barely more mature), chuck their established age out the window and pair them up with a character in their mid-to-late thirties. and of fucking course it makes sense for a 23 year old to be down bad for some scruffy 36 year old man, it's incredibly realistic! this 36 year old man acting upon such crush is a little questionable, but still realistic (and we know Remus is very flawed, so I'm not surprised). but you know what isn't realistic at all?

Molly - a 46 year old woman, married to her high school sweetheart, mother to 7 children, 3 of which are close to Tonks' age - being extremely supportive of actually engaging in that sort of relationship, going as far as reprimanding Remus for not committing to it. I'm sorry, what? Molly might have some flaws as a mother, but she is nothing if not protective of her kids and those in their age range. She genuinely becomes somewhat of a mother figure for Tonks during their time in the Order, and I just cannot for the life of me understand how Molly could encourage her to pursue Remus and vice-versa, instead of consoling Tonks in her tragic crush and making sure Remus doesn't even look at her like that.

Minerva - an even older woman who taught both Remus and Tonks at Hogwarts, witnessed Remus becoming an adult from his graduation in 1978 up until 1981, then saw an 11 year old Tonks start Hogwarts 3 years later in 1984 - chiding Remus for not being "brave" enough to commit to such relationship. first of all, why the fuck is she involved in that narrative at all? it's none of her business??? she's not in any pseudo parenting role for either of them, unlike Molly, so I never understood why she even has a place to voice her opinion about their romance. second of all, even if it was her business, Minerva - a professor who witnessed both Remus and Tonks grow up so many years apart - would realistically feel pretty weird about such relationship.

those aren't problems with the ship itself, but rather the way Joanne implemented their romance in the story. I think it would be more realistic if Ronks was some kind of fucked up forbidden romance from other characters' perspectives. the way everybody is so instantly supportive of them is quite jarring to me.

interestingly, when I read hp for the first time at 11 I was quite adamant in my belief that Tonks was in love with Molly up until that scene in half-blood prince. a very weird belief for a kid, I know. I just only liked girls at the time and was relating to Tonks quite a bit since her introduction, so I guess I unconsciously decided she was a lesbian even without knowing that term yet. I also had a crush on my teacher in 4th grade and she was quite similar to Molly... yeah, this girl was projecting too much. I didn't pick up on Remus' queer-coding until I fell down the rabbit hole of lgbt discourse at 14, but was pretty shocked to read about Tonks falling for a man at 11. she was so like me until she wasn't :) it's pretty funny to think about now.

in conclusion, I'm hella jealous of those of you who don't have weird brains and can enjoy Ronks to their fullest potential. their canon writing has its issues but they're more interesting for it, truly. I'll stay in my no fun corner, headcanoning them as lavender married, queer-platonic, bisexual besties co-parenting Teddy Alastor Tonks.

[ravenoclock]

@labyrinthhofmymind

It’s that time again

the following content contains spoilers on a fic called presque vu by bizzarestars

SO

Chapter 25

- Sirius trying to convince Remus that he’ll be the better parent figure

- SIRIUS’ MENTAL HEALTH

OH MY FUCKING GID. AND HE SAID IF HED STAYED WITH REMUS HE PROBABLY WOULDVE HAD A BETTER CHANCE AT HEALING??!!

CAN I DIE NOW

- Sirius calling him beautiful

Yes, she's biased towards him, but that has fuck all to do with his lycanthropy. In Sirius' eyes, Remus is better than anyone, werewolf or no.

(wolfstar in a nutshell)

TWUAIAJHDHWAJAJSOSOADHKSKAJDJSIAJIFISJANSHFIWKNDOWISHDJSJSIFJEKDJSHAODJJTYOEKJALSJHYNEOAKJSJFJTKSJOAJSBDIEOAOHSJDNFPROAJSHUDNTJ

⚰️ <- me

Sometimes, the bare minimum is all they've got.

…

Don’t even know what to say

I need whatever tf zar was on when they wrote this fic like OH my FUCKING GOD

I CANT DO THIS

IM IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS RN AND THATS THE ONLY TJING STOPPING ME FROM BREAKING DOWN RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Maybe it's the potential of what could have been that's throwing me off.

- ok so who gave Sirius the fucking mic

- WHAT

- this is her talking abt hermione and harry and how Harry would’ve been an older sibling if they’d had the time :(

"You talk like you're old," Remus says, amused.

Sirius shoots him a wry look. "I am old."

"What's that make me, then?"

"You? Oh, Moony, you're in your prime."

…..OLD COUPLE BANTER

I CANT

I LOVE THEM TOO MUCH I FORGET THIS IS A CANON COMPLIANT FIC AND I WISH THEY DIDNT DIE AND I WISH JKR DID THEM JUSTICE AND I WISH THEY GOT TO HEAL TOGETHER AND MAKE OUT LIKE THEY DESERVE TK BUT THEY CANT AND THEY DONT AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO TEAR MY SOUL OUT AND CRY AND CRY AND CRY

"Freddie Mercury was a legend," Sirius states firmly. "Some people just didn't like him because he could be…eccentric. Same thing with Bowie. There's no accounting for your uncle's taste, clearly."

HARRY LISTENING TO BOWIE AND QUEEN. HE IS MY QUEEN. OH MY FUCMING GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH SNAKJSJDHSJA

Sirius being like ‘wait u think we’re a couple’ and Harry being like ‘um, you aren’t?’

…nevermind he said ‘hug like brothers’

I shall not be forgiving Harry in the near future. WHAT THE FUCK MAN. YOU WERE ON A ROLL. AND YOU RUINED IT WITH ‘YOU HUG LIKE BROTHERS’ WTF. NOT COOL.

Remus' expression doesn't crack, but the humor in his eyes is evident, and Sirius considers sticking their tongue in his mouth right then and there, just to prove a point. See if Harry calls that brotherly. Fucking hell.

THEY SHOULDVE. THEY SHOULDVE MADE OUT RIVHG THERE AND THEN.

NOT REMUS FRIENDZONING SIRIUS GAHSBSHHAHAHAHSJSJ

SIRIUS CALLING HIM A GOOD BOY

RHEKAKAKJDKSJSJSJDJDJSJJSHS AND THEM GRINJING WHEN REMUS BLUSHED

Sirius knows for a fact that they've managed to fluster him just by how he's talking; whether it's from the good boy comment, or just their teasing look, they don't know. It doesn't really matter, because it pleases Sirius to no end anyway.

SIRIUS KNOWS HOW POWERFUL SHE IS OMG AKRJJWS

…Sirius comparing Molly and Walburga :/

THE BOGGART

WHAT THE FUCJ

THE BOGGART I CSNT I CANT I CANT I CANT I CANT I CANY I CANT I CANT I CANT I XANT I CANT

‘Padfoot is Harry’s dog’

- why

- did

- I

- sign

- up

- for

- this

ANYWAYS

That’s it for now and I’m taking healthy breaks throughout this fic cuz I don’t plan on killing myself before I finish it so it’ll be slow updates. :)

Thanks for reading

[kiarakarma]

Random Headcanons for Drarry (which I'm going to include into my fanfiction)

Harry Potter

growing up at the Dursleys - disgusting muggles;

Abuse/Neglect/and all those good things...

at the age of 6, teleports in front of WolfStar; gets adopted, receiving a new name - Hades Perseus Black (the irony of him being called after Medusa's beheader) and being sorted in Slytherin, cuz he belooooong;

also he the Slytherin Princess cuz I say so

Draco Malfoy

Harry's boy- I mean best friend;

crushing on him since they met (god so cheesy) - his father will definitely hear about this;

smart boi who likes books and potions;

Slytherin's Prince

Fred & George Weasley

cuz we love the twins;

are also in Slytherin;

cunning & ambitious pranksters;

worthy Weasleys;

secretive and always together... very sus...

Hermione Granger

also goes to Slytherin;

Family Secrets are revealed;

very devious and Pansy Parkinson is there as well soooo you already know where I'm getting at

One of the Mother Hens of the group

Pansy Parkinson

knows all the gossip in the wizarding world

most likely knows your secrets too

Hermione's best friend and possible girlfriend

Fashionista and the other Mother Hen of the group

Theo Nott & Blaise Zabini

being the gay couple they are and we support;

don't call Theo 'Theodore' if you don't wanna wake up with nasty hexes;

Blaise is the cool and laid-back one compared to his partner

Cedric Diggory

lives cuz he deserves to and is the same age as the twins;

surprisingly gets resorted into Slytherin;

likes Luna a lot

the Twins' Best Friend and secret partner in crime

Luna Lovegood

we love and so does Cedric; shhh don't tell anyone, but Luna probs knows about it already...;

same age as Harry and the rest

her destiny leads her to be part of Slytherin~

Sirius & Remus Black

also known as Siri & Remy (or Moony);

best parents award;

teaching together and supporting Slytherin against Gryffindor;

everybody knew that they should have been in Slytherin but nobody could prove it

Severus Snape

called Sevy or Sev behind his back;

Regulus is his Soulmate - forget Lily;

being done with everyone, but has a soft heart for his snakes and supports Drarry;

WolfStar's Bestie~

Regulus Black

Reggie!!

lives and loves Severus Snape;

enough said..................

teaches History of Magic at Hogwarts;

enjoys playing pranks with Sirius, and the Weasley Twins

Lucius & Narcissa Malfoy

lovingly called Luc (Lucy - by Siri, Remy, Sevy & Reggie) & Cissa;

awesome parents

fighting the Potters

Voldy Moldy, I mean 'Tom' Marvolo Riddle

NOT the bad guy here (duh)

doesn't look like a snake hybrid whatever that was;

resembles his younger hot self;

don't call him Tom or Tommy - he will try to skin you alive and then torture you;

may have a thing for Bellatrix

Bellatrix Black (hopefully a Riddle soon)

the best Aunt even if she is a bit crazy.....

okay maybe a lot of crazy...

she's still crushing on Marvolo, which ain't a secret

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

head chicken of the flaming chickens

Chief Asshole of Wizengamot

Master fucking Manipulator

Daisy Potter

Harry's younger twinsister

supposed "Girl Who Lived"

nicknamed Lazy Daisy & Crazy Daisy

a fucking bitch, who has a crush on the very Slytherin and very gay Draco Malfoy

Lily & James Potter

the worst parents

suck badly and so do the rest of the Weasleys (of course with the exception of the twins, Charlie & Bill - tho the latter two don't really appear in my fanfic)

Molly & Arthur Weasley

can't tell their twins apart and disregard them

simply bad parents

it's all about the money

Percy Weasley

turns into an asshole after Oliver Wood and Marcus Flint got together;

actually fought Marcus, but sucks for him cuz Marcus became even more handsome

Ron Weasley

the worst friend one could have

likes fame and money

very jealous

major bully

Ginny Weasley

too obsessed with gay Harry, who rejects anything and everything the girl gives him

screeching voice

ridiculous personality

[virglsweb]

GUYS I'M CURRENTLY WORKING ON (IF MR.SANDER'S SIDES WERE DIFFERENT PEOPLE) THEIR IDENTITY CARDS (their name, sexuality, age, gender, pronouns, etc.)

Virgil: Virgil/Virge, transmasc, they/them, gay, 20 (but he looks 17. Don't ask)

Roman: Roman/Romey (cuz he roams the forest, idk.) he/him, transmasc, 21 (looks 24), asexual and also mlm gay

Remus: Remus (his nicknames are made up on the spot and never kept) he/they, genderqueer also 21 but looks 32, aroace but gay

Janus: Janus/Dee/Jan/Deceit, she/him, 25 (looks 22), doesn't think anyone deserves his blessing

Logan: Logan (he didn't stick to the nicknames he got), he/him, cis, ...22 years, 8 months, 10 days, 17 hours, and 4 minutes old, asexual, but doesn't believe in romance, though he shook off his crushes in the past.

Patton: Patton/Pat/Patrick Star, Agender but doesn't mind it if you accidentally use He/Him, 25, gay but prefers dogs over actual love.

[goodieghostyarchive]

waiwaitwait

i offer u the concept of them all meeting a Karen

pfFFFFT

Patton: confusion, he was just chatting with Thomas when this Karen just shows up demanding their seats. Assumes she's unwell and treats her with super over the top kindness and care. Like one would a woman in a nursing home. Would get overtalked one too many times before using his big, booming, god voice. Demands she leaves. Super upset Patton. He gets to taste ice cream for the first time after that. He deserves it

Remus: he would turn her into a slug and Thomas would have to do his damnedest to keep him from eating her or plopping her in a salt jar. Karen just walked up to him and started belittling his many tatts and piercings and calling him a hooligan-which he i s to be fair. At first he was just laughing in her face.

Roman: completely baffled. Would probably end up charming her into stopping. Which leads to a whole new issue. And he ends up just, noping out of the situation. "I just remembered, I have to shave... my ceiling."

Janus: somehow convinces the woman that she's in the wrong and should feel awfully ashamed of herself. I mean-technically Thomas was in the wrong but the lady just blew the whole thing out of proportion. Janus was just chilling in snake mode because he wanted to see the sights at mortal level. Janus speaks and Thomas has to move his mouth to cover up the fact that this is not his voice. Janus, popping his lil snek head out of Thomas' coat when the woman leaves, "Bravo, Thomas. I definitely couldn't have done any better." "You! Don't just spring that on me!" "Ah, my apologies. Was I meant to reveal myself to her instead?"

Logan: completely deflates her argument with facts. Karen didn't stand a chance. He doesn't react strongly to it, and the fact he was keeping such a straight face and level voice angered her so much that she couldn't even speak. She was probably ranting about something outside a shop and Logan saw an opportunity to educate.

Virgil: doesn't like confrontation but definitely doesn't back down to a mortal woman with bad highlights. He'll just, have her see something absolutely terrifying and be paralyzed with fear while he moves Thomas along. "... what did you d o?" "Nothing. It'll wear off." "Her hair's white now." "That'd be an improvement. Now, what did you need to get?"

Remy cuz I love him: the clap backs. The sass. He could spend a minute on her fashion choices and a whole thirty on her attitude. Karen would be shook. Karen would be in tears. He'd just be sipping on his drink like this was a regular thing

Emile cuz I also love him, he's not a god but shhhhh: just, gives her his card. "You seem to need this."

[annaizscribbling]

I just grabbed the first few sections, but here is some of the Low Battery outline. The blue hearts are there because I use them to mark what I've already written.

Logan suffers physically and sleeps

Gets up to lock door💙

Virge is mad boi💙 and Ls door is locked 💙

Roman is a smarty who understands why (logics door is always open, someone may need it.) (Not logic so not open)💙

Virgil gathers everyone to stand outside Logan's door, roman doesn't come.💙 They attempt to reach him but pat and Janus get a bit upset while Remus refuses to break it.💙

Remus uses creepy (it's super effective). Kinda cares about Logan and trusts Rs judgement. Calls Virgil, Patton💙

Logan completely misinterpreted everything because sick and sad. Colors go muddy but lots of them there. Shivers and chills.💙

Roman and Thomas talk through Logan's possible denial (maiden stuck in a castle with a dragon metaphor) open on Thomas watching tv cuz he's burnt out. That was the OG problem. Engage as as many senses as possible in the opening.💙

Romans letter under door💙

Jan and V fight with some angsty Janny and Virgil, both are sad. They both are projecting heavily and not thinking about logan specifically. Roman comes in like?????💙

Logan reads letter and is 💞 conflicted💞 decides he deserves to be alone because he isn't being logic right now, puts it back, but not before circling company and erasing it again.💙

This is what I mean by dumb lmaooooo. My Just Out of Reach outline is the exact same, very silly notes that help me write a very dark story

Okay so since y'all wanted the Just Out of Reach notes when the fic is completed, are y'all curious about any other notes? I have the low battery notes as well as the moment with potential notes.

I say this because my notes are very dumb, all of them. They encapsulate exactly what I need to write my story, but honestly my outlines are very stupid because I write them purely for me, but it might be funny to at least post snippets. Idk what y'all's notes looks like, wanna describe them for me?

[littlestkoi-n]

the main reason I'm an average height Remus truther - aside from this little fact being canon - is simple:

the only "tall, thin and gangling, with big hands and feet, and a long nose" character I advocate for is Ronald Weasley who deserves to tower over each and every authority figure he encounters.

so by 3rd year Ron is 5'11 / 180 cm which is ridiculously tall for a 13 year old boy and makes him slightly taller than all his Professors:

btw UK average adult heights are 5'4-5'6 for women and 5'8-5'10 for men

5'10 / 178 cm McGonagall (described as a tall woman)

5'9.5 / 177 cm Snape (rather shorter than Sirius; slightly taller than Narcissa, who's exactly 5'8 / 173 cm for me)

5'9 / 176 cm Lupin (not described = average)

5'8 / 172 cm Filch (not described = average; not a Prof but Staff)

5'7 / 170 cm Sinistra (not described, but she was on the taller side in the movies so I'll give her that. shorter than Minerva still)

5'6 / 167 cm Trelawney (not described = average)

5'1 / 154 cm Sprout (describes as a squat little woman)

4'5 / 134 cm Flitwick (described as tiny but has distant goblin ancestry so I see him as being 5 inches taller than average goblin)

Dumbledore doesn't count cuz Ron barely stands next to the man and I reckon it's pretty hard to grow over 2 meters at 13. Hagrid is irrelevant cuz half-giant.

then Ron gets kidnapped by the first adult that year who looms over him at 6'3 / 191 cm - no wonder Sirius is terrifying, being that tall.

by the time Sirius dies Ron only grows to 6'2.5 / 189 cm so he never gets to be taller than him... shit now I'm making myself sad.

anyway, when he's done growing Ron is 6'5 / 196 cm, making him the tallest Weasley and probably the tallest man in any room ever.

[ravenoclock]

SKAJDJSKANAN ive been putting off reading this fic since i learnt of its existence cuz it’s canon compliant and all that. i haven’t even finished it yet and can SENSE my mental health deteriorating by the moment… but i feel like I’m processing it better than when i read crimson rivers and the hand that feeds (GOD THOSE TWO KILLED ME) cuz i had no one to talk to abt those fics so i was suffering in silence so tysm <3.

UR RIGHT. THE PRONGSFOOT. AGSHAHJAHAH. they’re so toxic and i hate it and i love it and it’s all so confusing because i feel sm for them and I can’t understand it all.

OKOK ON TO CHAPTER 8….

“How do you let go?”

“I don’t know”

(You never know.)

fuck. that… wow. just…speechless. i’m speechless rn.

JAMES MY POOR BABY :(( Effie and Monty dying and him just throwing himself off whatever cliff he was on and Sirius being like ‘if we go down we go down together’ too seriously (it’s literally in his name idk what I expected). Sirius being enabler of the century because she’ll love James unconditionally no matter what and the whole anything you can do I can do better thing so they’re basically enabling each other to destroy themselves and continue to destroy themselves.

JAMES HAVING FOUR SECRET STASHES. WHAT THE ACTUAL-

oh and Remus’ lingering gaze. we see you mf. (so does Sirius but they don’t know wtf it is they want).

OH AND HARRY IN THE WOMB. HARRY POTTER IS IN THE GODDAMN FUCKING WOMB BECAUSE JAMSS FORGOT THE SPELLS AND SJSBSJAJJAJAJAJAJ. they were both grieving and their hopes are all piled onto this child and it’s just so so fucking sad and heartbreaking and they all deserved to live and love and all that corny bullshit they NEVER GOT TO DO. none of them are dead yet (most of them are like halfway there ;-;) and i’m not doing that okay. SIRIUS IS GODFATHER!!! YESSSSSSSS!!! and her being like ‘i don’t know how to love i just know what it feels to not have it’ is just EJHDSHJS WHYYYYYYYY.

Sirius, who exists at ends of two extremes, no middle ground, no fixed point. He is always too much and never enough. A man who cries, and someone crying, who is not a man. Sirius doesn't get to live in absolutes; when he's at his weakest, he wishes he could, just for the ease of it, just to know something and, if he's lucky, not hate it.

hey. my (nonexistent) therapist wants to call you up for wrecking me like this. that was a fucking bomb drop. not cool. i had to take a lap around the room (or 9) after reading this or else i was gonna cry cuz DAMN. WHAT YHE FUCK.

is this like a universal experience? where everyone feels like they’re too much yet not enough at all? cuz like I think it all the time and im sure there are more people who do?? im not at all comparing my situation to that of Sirius’ in this fic, but im just curious. have you ever felt that way before?

WOLFSTAR MAKING UP FROM A NONEXISTENT BREAKUP CUZ THEY WETENT EVEN TOGETHER IS SO THEM. HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MYCH I LOVE THEM?? I DONT THINK SO. I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR. REMUS BEING LIKE ‘THIS IS GOOD’ AND SIRIUS INTERNALLY COMBUSTING FROM HOW SWEET HE IS LIKE CHRIST SIRIUS HE WAS ALWAYS THERE AND ALWAYS IN LOVE AND ALWAYS WILLIBG TO TRY BUT SIRIUD DIDNT WANT TO BELIEVE IT (cuz of the whole ‘he deserves better and you know it’ and all his other self dialogue that isn’t exactly healthy and happy) BUT ARGEHSJSH. I CANT THINK STRAIGHT WITH THEM. THE FLUFF. LOVE LOVE LIVE LIVE LOVE LIVE LOVE. im gonna ignore the fact that it’s canon compliant rn cuz they’re happy so im happy and the whole world must be happy and allow them to be happy for the rest of time (AHEM IM LOOKING AT U BALDY VOLDY) anyways when i read chapter 9 I’ll be back :)).

@labyrinthhofmymind

the following content has spoilers for a fic called presque vu by bizarrestars.

I WILL BE KEEPING U UPDATED BECAUSE I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABT THIS. ITS TOO LATE TO BACK OUT.

ANYWHO;

SIRIUS SAYING REG AND JAMES ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO KNOW ENOUGH TO LOVE HIM KILLED ME. I DIED. WTF.

OH AND THE SETTLE DOWN THING AND HOW SIRIUS FOESNT WANT TO SETTLE DOWN. AND REMUS BEING LIKE ‘YEAH I WOULD FOR THE RIGHT PERSON’ AND LOOKING AT SIRIUS AND SIRIUS IS LIKE ‘he deserves better and you know it’ NOO, LOVE, YOU ARE SOULMATES PLS PLS RECONSIDR. DJJSSJSJSJ.

also Sirius’ whole thing about not wanting to label because why the fuck do you have to label is so real. it’s literally what I tell my friends when they ask why I don’t label and they just look at me weird (except for one of them who said—to my face btw— ‘there’s so many labels just pick one’). anyways Sirius spiralling and being like ew why tf is he making me spiral (abt Dearborn) is SO FUNNY (ik it was like an angsty scene and all but they made me crack up).

Peter yelling ‘don’t forget to use the spells’ is so USHAKAKNS. WHY?! and knowing he’s a spy…. have I mentioned that I want to rip my hair out? No? currently ripping my hair out.

…the chapter ending? the ending of chapter 7??? excuse me??? WHY DID SIRIUS DO THAT. the heartbreak I could feel from Remus. WTF. also I don’t think Sirius did it (the thing with Dearborn) but again, he’s an extremely unreliable narrator so who tf actually knows. idk tho. can I say I’m neutral unless it’s confirmed that he did or didn’t do it? what do u think? wolfstar is so problematic and low key toxic but DHSHJS I LOVE RHEM SM. GAH. also the paranoia in this chapter with Sirius suspecting Remus as the spy… WHY. WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY??!!!!!? canon compliant fics will be the death of me I swear. they’re like a drug you can’t get enough of with the full knowledge that it’s not that good for you. anywho. also Sirius is like ‘I wouldn’t settle down not because you don’t deserve it but because I don’t’ and I find that heartbreaking. :(( Sirius you are loved.

when I finish the next few chapters I’ll post another rant. tysm for reading!!