#cuz my mom and sister didnt say anything about it

[salsflore]

[nerves-nebula]

My little sister has some pretty bad psoriasis sometimes and kids at school spread rumors that she has lice and my mom defended her using racism by saying that’s just what black ppls scalps are like... cuz they have curlier hair which means more oil...

Which is not only an insane thing to believe, but we've KNOWN my sister has psoriasis since she was like 5. Anyway it’s no wonder I had an untreated skin disorder until I was 20 despite how insanely flaky my scalp & face are. my mom is a hella neglectful and racist especially when it comes to hair.

i actually have lotion that works for my face & head now its like medical extra strength this and its just wild cuz all the other normal ointments and shit i tried lasted for like an hour before my face got all fucked up again and my mom was just like. lol whatever. we'll just keep trying normal face care stuff instead of doing even a second of research into it :)

i often think about how you can sometimes kind of tell if a kid is being physically neglected, especially with white parents who dont bother to do their black kids hair right, and its just really sad. i look at old photos of myself as a kid and im like... why didnt anyone do anything about this.. and then i remember that time when a black lady stopped my mom at a grocery store and offered to do our hair for her.

and my mom just never called that lady cuz idk. too hard i guess??? maybe her pride was wounded? (she spent a lot of time on our hair on occasion. it always sucked and hurt like hell. tortureee) like there were people, random strangers who we didnt even know, who offered to help her!! she didn't even have to go looking for them! a black woman was kind enough to offer to help her just out of the blue and she didn't !!! TAKE THE OFFER!!!

[aventurineswife]

can i rant here?

i really want to talk with someone but i dont trust my counselors enough for this

im 100% sure i have ocd (not professionally diagnosed), and its really fucking killing me

my parents are asian and my mom liked being clean, no shoes in the house, showering after coming home from being outside

i think i developed something from that and i really want to fucking die from my ocd

after covid quarantine and stuff, we were allowed back to school, and i was homeschooled my entire life till middle school. back when i was in 6th grade, i started sitting on the floor for p.e. and it was probably one of the first times i did (due to the fact my mom always said to not sit on the floor because the floor was dirty)

im in 8th grade now, and only recently (sep-octo ish) i started taking sanitizing wipes and wiping every surface i touch when i get home from school

i have no idea where it came from but it started randomly

my sister doesnt have the same problem, shes like a fucking dirty leech that touches everything

we share a laundry basket and usually its dirty because we hang some of our dirty clothes off of it, she keeps walking into the room with our laundry basket and her "clean" pajamas always brush against it and it infuriates me

i think my mom's cleanliness rubbed off on me

my sister doesnt see where im coming from BECAUSE SHES ALWAYS FUCKING DIRTY AND TOUCHING EVERYTHING

and she asks me why i wipe (cleaning/sanitizing wipe) everything she touches. its because something inside me knows she isnt clean

shes a really bad liar as well, ive known her long enough to know when she lies, and she lies to me that she "wiped" whatever i say is dirty

and she gets mad at me because im being pushy

i love her but she pisses me off with this

we have a room that is similar to a storage room but for our clothes (baby clothes and what not)

that laundry basket i was talking about earlier, she went near it and her pajamas brushed against it. i tried not saying anything (i didnt), but then she went into the room with our clothes and practically touched everything that was clean (she didnt wash her hands after touching the basket)

it pisses me the fuck off, and im pretty sure i have both germophobia and ocd

i get agitated if i KNOW something isnt clean and i cant rest or sleep knowing something isnt clean

and this only happens when im at home, because i know it as the clean place my mom created

im not one of those people that wipe down every service even if its clean, i only wipe something down if i WITNESSED someone or something dirtying it

i really fucking hate this and want to get rid of these things, but i dont want my dad to spend money on treatments for ocd or germophobia(if there even is treatments for a fear)

-:3 anon

OMG first of all, I'm so sorry for what your sister did to that poor laundry basket 🫂😔

Second of all, I'm so sorry you've to go through at such a young age, no one should go through such things at a young age 😕

Third of all, I understand where you're coming from, perhaps you could talk to your mom about your sister's behaviour(cuz talking to them about your ocd and germophobia) also I'm not sure if there's a cure for it but thank you for feeling comfortable enough to rant to me 🫂🫶

Remember, it's okay, you're valid just the way you are. Taking care of yourself is actually a good thing, you'll live a long life! 🫶 (From what my mom tells me tbh-)

Also this is a free space, so feel free to rant or vent or whatever you would like in my inbox! 🫂💖 I'll gladly read them all

[1d1195]

I COULDNT SLEEP LAST NIGHT SO I SPENT THE NIGHT REREADING ALL OF TRADTIONAL !!!! AND IT WAS SOOO MUCH FUN I LOVEEE THEM😭😭😭 he was sooooo down bad im obsesseddd

"bro, you're annoying as fuck" GOODBYEEEE THAT IS ACTUALLY THE REALEST IVE EVER HEARDDDD. my dad is always like “you know, u can tell me anything.” AND IM LIKE “since when?? i literally can’t???” this is the same man that gets sooo mad when i just ask a question he doesn’t like😭 but my big brother’s wife is actually pregnant and she’s due soon so one good thing is i’m going to get to be here for that !!

sam you’re too sweet i looove you😭😭 my sister calls me barbie all the time and i think it’s so cute you chose the same nickname. I LOVE YOU YOU BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING, TALENTED WOMAN🫶🫶🫶🫶

i used to usually make my coffees at home. id brew it in a french press orrrr id make some using my keurig (omg if u or a friend have a nespresso machine those make it taste SOOOOO GOOD my mom has one and i LOVE using it) i add a little bit of sugar while its hot and i let it cool down and id use oat milk (i’ve only tried two brands; califa farms & oatly, i enjoyed them both. if im out i literally just use regular milk cuz whtvr) and thennn id use the coffee mate french milk creamer (is that what it’s called? it’s milk idk) and then a little bit of the torani vanilla syrup (cause it’s pretty strong). if my sweet tooth was kicking extra hard i’d add a drizzle of some white chocolate syrup.

HELPFUL AT HOME ICED COFFEE TIP I SAW ON TIKTOK: maybe this is common sense (it wasn’t for me tho🫣) but you’re supposed to add all your syrups and creamers into the coffee and mix it together AND THENNN pour onto ice😭😭 apparently it doesn’t mix as well when you pour them one by one onto the ice (WHICH IS WHAT I DID HAHA) and i did actually notice it made a slight difference.

so sorry that was wayyy longer than it had any right to be but it took me forever to find a way i enjoy making it at home. AND IT WORKS CAUSE EVERYONE IVE MADE IT FOR SAYS IT TASTES LIKE ICED COFFEE FROM A CAFE YAYYY !!! when i go out though i usually get a cup from dunkin. their cold brews are sooo yummmm and i love getting the sweetened cold foam.

omg thank you for asking abt the whole GED, i can’t believe you remember, its so sweet that you do, but i was actually going to bring it up in my last ask but i guess i forgot to. I DIDNT HAPPEN☹️ I HAD TO CANCEL THE CLASSES BEFORE I EVEN STARTED BECAUSE OF THIS TRIP☹️☹️☹️☹️ it actually upset me soooo much at the time. i’ve been trying for a couple years now and it NEVER works out, i was SO sure it would this time, but now im starting to wonder if the universe if just telling me it’s not meant for me😭

i don’t have anything planned yet but hopefully it’s chill. i hope you have a great weekend as well babe !!!💕💞✨

~🎶

I frequently reread traditional. Especially when I'm in the mood to write about them more. I really like how caring Harry is in that one 🤭 I think it's cute when he tries to spoil his girl 🥰

My dad knows surface level things of me as best but he thinks we have this connection. I feel bad, he's mean to my sister. But tbh I don't tell my parents EVERYTHING. I tell my mom a lot, she's one of my favorite people, but since I've moved out, I just tell them both less and less. They're a lot of work and a) I don't want to burden them with my shit, and b) there's not much they can do at this point in time to help me.

BABYYYYYYYYYYYY boy or girl? Can I ask that? I love babies so much I love that for you!!!

AHHHHH I just went with your metaphor, but I love it! 💕

Okay I think I misled you. I buy a jug of cold brew every week and make coffee that way. I will have to try the pouring onto ice. I had NO IDEA. I do one at a time too! I don't have any coffee making machines. Everyone I KNOW has a nespresso machine. But I refuse. Idk. I'm a cold coffee gal and I'm like anti using hot to make it ice 😭

I think I've mentioned I'm from the Northeast before so I literally run on dunkin so I get you. I cold foam the other day (a treat for myself because I usually just do coffee) and it was SO good. I forgot how much I liked it!!! When Dunking does their $3 cold brew deal every day for a month (I think it's usually February because it's the shortest month--Capitalism am I right?) I enjoy getting cold brew from them!

I unfortunately yap a lot but I try to remember the big things! I'm glad I remembered! I kind of figured the trip would have affected it's happening. Don't give up yet! I think if this is something you want you should do it, regardless of how long it takes. Who cares if it's a little later than you wanted! I think if it's what you want then it's meant for you! 💕

xoxo

[confessions-official]

I'm so tired of my parents, listen they are wonderful people and I'm glad I have them and they aren't abusive at all but god they're so tiring

They talk about me being independent and how since I'm 17 I have to be ready for adulthood but then when I do something on my own they turn around and worry about someone else doing it for me

everyday before school they brushed my hair and picked me clothing for as long as I remember and the rare times they have to go somewhere so they won't do it they stress to my sister (mind you, she's 23 and in collage!!!!) to 'get me ready' when I'm in like, 10th grade? And I figured 'ok by the way this apartment is small and the way it's structured maybe this is why they'll stop eventually' but then they didnt

yesterday I decided to bake something so I went to the store, my sister at the time was at work and as she was coming home she was on the phone with mom and mom was seriously worried about if my sister dressed me not to look ugly, SHE WASNT EVEN THERE? and whatever I just threw something together because it's 30+ CRLCIUS OUTSIDE no one cares I was in there for like 20 minutes

And they do my homework, I'm being dead serious, this one's less """complainy""" because some people would kill for that and I get it but recently they started to only use chatgpt despite me askingif they can't, they still went with it so I don't bother, I don't bother with school cuz in reality my grades are theirs, the science teacher is weridly obsessed with ""my"" notebooks and wants to keep them (those notebooks were genially a nightmare, another story though), every teacher thinks I'm some werid super genius when in reality I myself haven't really done anything for the past 10 years, rightfully so cuz idk how to write an essay or a presentation, but I remember when I tried to write my homework my dad would erase everything and we'd do it again, my dad barges in the room to tell me everything about the lesson we had in whatever class cuz I haven't read it (mostly cuz A) I wanted to but I couldn't hastag executive dysfunction or B) there's no reason?) and he's so BORINGGG I can't hide it he's just so boring, I haven't used correctors in my life because they're worried about the Grammer being right on the first try (difficult relationship w my native toung lol)

and mind you, I don't think i need alot of support at all I'm a level 1 autistic (I don't like using the levels but it's the only way I can describe it) and admitibly I am a 'shut in' from the world (domino effect, I was the one who did it to myself, I know this is going to fuck me over in the future lol) but I am not stupid, I know how to usually get ready for the day I know how shopping works, the only real things I need support are going to places I don't know and things related to law

but I just can't, you guys preach about me having to be independent because you might kick the bucket soon and that's great! however you can't say that and then go to my sister panicking if SHE dressed ME for a walk to the STORE which is outside my HOUSE, I know you care so much for my wellbeing and I'm glad and appreciative for that even if I don't show it well but for me to overhear my parents arguing "well if we die and they take everything from her like money and houses what then" and my mom just replying with something along the lines of "that's her problem" like wow thanks you guys can't even decide if I should be independent or not because of the way you act, tired of you all

 

[minhosimthings]

I was going to post this anonymously but its doesn’t matter

ive been going through a hard time and honestly, i dont like to talk about it with my family members as theyll just scold me instead of giving actual solutions. My academic results were not that great but there is still chance that I’ll get a good engineering college outside my city. However, my parents dont want to send me and they just want me to do cs like everyone else, even though ive always wanted to do aerospace engineering then pursue Mtech in the same. My parents want me to do cs engineering and then MBA. Im totally okay with that.

however, lately my dad(i dont even want to call him that) has been acting crazy. Hes been doing this for years, so it’s not really a new thing. He just has his shitty man ego where he gets angry for the smallest things and breaks things around the house. No, he has never abused my mother (I’ll kill him if he did) but he has beaten both me and my elder sister. Todays hes acting crazy because i didnt let him watch a movie that has watched a 1000 times already and i said that i just have to watch for another 10 mins and he can watch whatev he wants. He got angry and stormed off to bed. Now when i came upstairs he went downstairs and is threatening to break the tv once he finishes watching his shitty movie. When i went to calm him down he flipped the coffee table and threw the tv remote at me. I honestly dont think i did anything wrong. Ive been watching his shit since my childhood and it has obviously been very traumatising, but i still always try and forgive cuz hes still my “dad”. Now i honestly wish i was never born and he was never ever my dad. I hate him so much that it makes me want to kill him….he doesnt even love or respect my mom and treats her like shes a housemaid. Idek what i did wrong over here.

im so sorry to dump all this trauma but i really needed to let it out

Baby you can come to me anytime you want to talk alright? I went through some similar stuff so if you want to trauma dump, dump it on me. You're really strong for going through that right now you know that right?

You did not do anything wrong over here and, forgive me for saying this, but your dad is being a complete asshole here.

[hell0mega]

last night i had a dream that the world ended

i can't remember too much about the first part, but i remember the climax and ending. we knew the world was going to end and we were trying to reach the person who was going to do it and convince him otherwise. we were under the impression that this was a neutral guy that had a misunderstanding about what was going on.

however, when we got to him, he turned sinister, saying that he knew the world would he fine if he didn't, but he likes doing it.

i, my bf, and someone else i loved (not sure who) were sitting on a tall ledge looking out over the world. what we saw looked like a synthwave album cover, all the buildings had been reduced to their code which were displayed as colorful neon colored symbols against a dark purple void. we were all leaning against each other, talking about the world and how we tried to save it. in the distance the void and code started to rip apart upwards with a soft whoosh, coming towards us, revealing a bright white nothing behind. we said our i love yous before it engulfed us.

i said "kill switch" as it hit my face, but i dont think it did anything.

my next dream started. i was at my childhood home with my mom and sister. the others seemed younger. for me, things felt off. my mom was sad for a real reason, and her boyfriend, someone i don't know, but did know, maybe, i guess, came over and comforted her. she was just bummed out. but there was a pit in my stomach.

after a while i remembered that the world ended. i remembered we found out, tried to stop it, and then watched it happen. i asked around about what the last few days were like. everyone said it was fuzzy but they didnt care.

the world had been reset. and i remembered.

the news said that crime and people simply offing themselves had both spiked suddenly, that people like me could tell that something was wrong, something was different. like they witnessed the end too but didn't know what it was and still have that memory and understanding in them. it was making some of us crazy.

anyway then i had another dream that drawfee was operating out of a roadside greenhouse and people kept walking through cuz it was like public city property but Jacob kept getting annoyed like "you can't walk through here!! we're working!" and it was like the side of a busy new york street and it was rainy and it was a cramped little greenhouse meant for people to walk through but he was adamant about it. one lady went "arrêtes !! arrêtes !!" (stop, stop in French) when he tried to talk to her. so i can accurately speak French in my dreams now which is honestly the most terrifying part of any of this.

[boopsyournoseboop]

Ugh im just gonna rant for a second like here we go: one thing you should know about me is i LOVE arguing in good faith i do it all the time about anything especially at work with coworkers and a good argument is fun… but tonight was shit like my sister complained about Astrid from httyd being cast as a poc mind you we are poc and i was like wel berk isn’t real and it doesn’t really affect the story, and besides its pretty neat for the actress! And she was like well what if they did that with mulan or black panther?! And well i said you just named two cases where race and culture are inseparable from the character and the setting so that’s not a good argument :/ and shes like oke then what about toph from atla i could play her! ( and in a previous convo i said she couldn’t cuz we are not asian) and i said well the whole world of atla is based on real cultures its in the world building but even if it wasn’t i don’t think we should be taking roles meant for other poc. But I didn’t really know how to explain why berk is different from the atlaverse ( im open for discussion:) )

And then my mom texted me: do you wanna come to the Nelly concert with me and your sister🤗 because she’s a sweetheart and old school and i had to be like hmmm no hes had several rape allegations against him so id rather not, you have fun tho and don’t go backstage with him kisses! And like we didnt argue because we are in a good place rn but i would have like to say he maybe don’t waste money on the rapist ya know?

And then my bestie texted me and i ranted to her about my sister. And somehow we got talking about universal basic income wich i think should be a thing but she thinks people have to work for their money:( and then we somehow started on fucking covid for some reason and i was like i get that its not nice to be told what to do by the government and the threat of marshal law was scary but i do believe we owe it to each other to at least try and keep each other safe even if some things turn out not to work. And she was like well if people are scared than thy should stay home the government shouldn’t be able to forbid people from coming together if they consent!

And i was like yeah cool except those peole go to work and to the shops and their parents house and they didn’t consent to being exposed! they followed the rules and do their best to stay safe and keep each other safe!!! Like lets talk about consent then! Anyway im not actually super invested in this topic and id rather not talk about it since its so loaded but we were on video call and i think her phone died and we left it like that and it sucks:(((((

[sweetttae]

my fuckin brother so damn irritating for what. he genuinly dont give a shit bout anybody else and he so fuckin spoiled. he is 11 with a screen time the same number as his age, gets no sorta discipline, and doesnt give a fuck aboht anyone or anything. you try and parent him gently, he dont listen and do whatever the fuck he want. you get mad and yell at him, then he gets mad at u lime we didnt ask him fuckin nicely calmly parenting him the last 99 times. my dad think jus cuz he cant hit us he cant discipline his kids at allll, so my dumbass brother growing up being set up for failure in life.

literally the other day, like 2 days ago he took my fuckin slinky and was spinnin it n shot and me and my sister told him to stop bc ts gets all tangled up so easily, and we were super nice abt it. my sister was liek calmly expalinging to him that "those slinkys always break so easily so be careful with it and like dont toss it around like that." he has 100 other things he can fodget with hell be fine not throwing a slinky around. but guess what he did. he kept fuckin spinning it and it literally knotted itself and when we told him off abt it obviously upset he got mad n fuckin stormed out. me and my sister spent idk 15 mins tryna unravel it. and listen its NOT ABT THE SLINKY. i couldnt give less of a fuck abt it, its just plastic its whatever. its just the principle of the situation. we softly told him not to do that specific thing, he did that and broke the toy, we got upset, he got upset and left without saying nothing. after my sister talked to him for a good idk how long, he finally came to me and was like "sorry" and hugged me, and it was over. its never that serious its a slinky, its just his attitude

today he took my charger again. every fuckin day he kills his damn phone and dont give it to my mom to charge at night so he wakes up in the morning with a dead fucking phone. then he fucking takes my charger without asking or telling me then leave it wherever the fuck he want then i gotta go on a scavenger hunt for that shit. all bc he wanna be an inconsiderate piece of shit. listen i dont care if he uses my charger. just fucking ask me, or let me know youll take it, then put it back where ya fuckin found it. literally was wlakin all around the house fucking pissed the hell off tryna find my charger bc i thought i just misplaced it and didnt wanna wake my brother up just at 1am for it to be like under my pillow ot something. but i just kept looking and nothing then i woke his ass up n asked him n he like "oh yeah i left it downstairs by the couch" bitch what the FUCK is your problem. oh my fucking god he pisses me off so fucking bad i UGHHHHBBBBBBHHHH

hes also so clearly neurodivergent, his actions and behaviors. but then theres my dad who is literally setting him up to fail in life and making life harder for him than it already is for neurodivergent people. my brither doesnt give a fuck about anyone or anything and he has no sympathy. he hates saying thank you and sorry, and only says please because that was the only mannerism drilled into his brain. its just annoying. then anytime my mom tried to parent my brother my dad gets mad and is all like "hes just a baby dont bug his brain like that" BITCH OH MY GOD.

[ghost-of-the-machine]

ughh

i keep having like? i keep having dreams where my mom protects me and its kind of upsetting me

why is it so frequent? i keep having them where she keeps me safe or says she'll always be here for me, and if its not my mom directly its some motherly figure protecting me. im like GROWN TOO im not a little kid but i always feel like i am, i feel so powerless, helpless, afraid.. and i hide behind my mom because she will keep me safe, right?

this time it was my sister, she was being so fucking mean to me like how she used to, to the point where like. i had to go in this building with her and her bf and she told me to get out of the car real hostile like and i was clearly scared and about to cry and my mom was like hey. we'll go together, okay? and she held my hand and the building? was like this dark like. SOME KIND OF LIQUOR/SMOKE SHOP, it stressed me out and then when my mom came with me it turned into a pretty candy store and she let my sibling get whatever they want but . im too conscious of our money so i didnt get anything before the dream switched

then i was at like? the store owner had these policies ensuring people didnt ABUSE THEIR KIDS in her store, saying like hey. if yr kid tries and steals something, ill catch them, no need to yell at them or get physical. if theyre loud, its alright, theres plenty of other kids here so its probably gonna be loud regardless like. idk it made me really sad cuz that meant she had dealt with it enough to make explicit rules about children being hurt or scared in her building. and immediately my brain knew she was someone i could trust

my family like left but . i got in the car with my moms husband instead cuz i thought they were gonna get in but he drove off too fast and then he was being really reckless and driving into oncoming traffic and shit and it was really scary cuz hes like. ive been in the car with him pulled over by the cops cuz he was speeding before he drives so horribly i feel so unsafe when he drives, and yknow who it makes me think of? my mom, because even if my mom has bad road rage, shes safer than him

the car crashed obviously and i was hurt and scared and i just wanted my mom and i managed to make it back to the candy store cuz it had like a proper daycare section now i guess?? and i dont know. my moms bf was like unhinged and i. ive had too many dreams where im afraid of him, afraid of what he'll do. i made it back to the place and i guess the kids there were also scared cuz they knew he was gonna come back and the lady was like reassuring us and she said that no ones getting hurt here, and that shes gonna do everything in her power to keep us safe

idk it made me feel good that like. even though i was obviously an adult she was still there to comfort me and assure me cuz i was fucking scared, just like the kids were i was terrified and she didnt exclude me from that safety

i think i have mommy issues guys 💀💀 i dont know why i keep having these dreams. maybe being neglected as a child makes you grow up too fast and then you suddenly cant be grown up enough when yr actually an adult. when they fight, i feel so small.. i feel like a child again, listening to violence thru the walls. i wish i could be brave, i wish i could be a MAN, be an adult, but im too scared..

why does my head crave that motherly comfort? i dont understand.. my mom isnt a bad mom. shes an okay mom, not a great PERSON, but an okay mom. shes done a lot for me and i appreciate it, but.. be there for me is not one of them. maybe im sad, maybe i wish i could have a mother that i can say with 100% certainty i love. i wish i could have a mom who was there for me and cared more about me and i wish she was .

she used to be really mean to me, after she kicked her bf out several years ago (got us nothing in the end cuz hes fucking back so whatever) . i think she missed fighting and needed someone to focus her anger on. i remember one time she came into my room and screamed at me for doing something wrong? something i DIDNT do, and then when she found out it was my sibling who did it, i guess she tired herself out cuz she just said whatever

it got so bad that like. everyone knew she was treating me unfairly. my siblings thought she was, i thought she was, and SHE thought she was. that time we were sitting in the car with my sister and she was like yeah im too mean to you, you dont deserve that. and i was just. quiet. what do i say? do i say 'yes, you are too mean to me'? probably not, my sister is my moms number one yes man, if i said anything implying my mom was less than an angel she'd direct her anger towards me. AGAIN. but i cant say no cuz that would be a lie. i just said it was fine and she said it wasnt and that was the end of it. i dont even remember if things changed

or like that time? she called me a disappointment for failing in highschool and when i jsut left, and went and sat in my siblings room, SOMETIMES she feels remorse and she comes and apologizes cuz i think deep down she does love me. but this time? no, she just came in and KEPT going, saying it was my fault and that she doesnt have shit to apologize for. okay!!!! that was when the elections were happening too , thats when she started becoming a worse person, more right wing yknow. its sad watching someone i used to admire dissolve into just.. garbage, yknow? ugh

i almost had a panic attack at my grandparents house one time cuz she raised her voice like. not AT me but i was still there and then my sister started harassing me when i got all quiet cuz i was SCARED and my brother and grandma tried to stick up for me but i just went to the back room and i couldnt fucking breathe. and then later my sister had the audacity? when we went to the park later she was like hey. btw. its not MY fault you were being weird like. whatever, fuck off

i wish i loved my family!!!!! i wish i had a family i was capable of loving. i wish i had a family who didnt hurt me, i wish i had a family that didnt make me feel like.. like im not always safe in my home. ive never ever felt safe, from my earliest memories to my most recent, its just.. carnage. dreadful

[moodiest-moon-jelly]

Nah okay so I was not good for a good while over possibly seeing my dad for Christmas Eve for a stupid get together because my last living grandparent has cancer.. Is actively dying.. So I should see her right? Ya! I was doing my best to suck it up for 10 minutes so I can give her gifts talk to her and what not and then leave. Because I simply.. Don't want a relationship with my dad.

Well huge misunderstanding happened. Grandma is in the hospital (found out Friday). My dad is apparently shit communicator. Makes my sister thinks she is bout to die by the way he worded the text. We all last minute visit. Brother tells me I'm wrong when we meet up for carpool its a huge fiasco we go anyways but I choose to drive alone in huge fear my dad is there because of the way they are talking.

Hes not. So stressful situation. Stressful drive to and through north Minneapolis. But at least I saw grandma. Whos in a heartbreaking state. Yes my other grandma had cancer and passed last year in December who I watched deteriorate and took care of.. It was just so different. A brain cancer. Verses now a mouth cancer whare her teeth and bottom jaw was missing. She was almost unrecognisable.

(Id like to state my dad didnt inform anyone for 4 days. She was there with COVID for 4 DAYS. And didnt think to say anything until he found out she might not be there for the party! My grandpa died of covid/pneumonia and grandma to cancer since covid started.. Just the audacity to not inform.)

Anyways. I got to see her. So I dont go to the party. Grandma is at the hospital anyway. Why go. Just to check out my step mom amd brother? I'm not that curious. Well I go to my moms to bring a the other gift for gma that didnt make sense to bring to a hospital. A candle. So my brother can bring it with him.

My brother who doesnt get my issues with our dad makes a comment about a gift from dad, if it want it brought home. I almost said no but my bro hates the toxic attitude so I said sure.

Later he comes back and deliberately tells me my dad said if I want the gift I need to go see him myself and claim it. I scoff. Funny. My older sister is in Arizona. I wonder if hes doing the same for her? I have a good 5 min of just a petty mindset. Eventually like whatever I didnt want it. I'm really only upset hes trying lure me to see him. Felt sick.

Later I ask my brother just tryimg to make convo. Be nice. "So what dad get you for christmas?" "Dad told me not to tell you. Cuz its similar too your gift." For some reason. This... This has been bothering me on a whole nother level. I'm. Peeved.. It's.. I can't express properly my emotions.

This just made me hate him more. And yes hate. I don't use that term lightly one people. But for him.. Oh. Ohoho... This lowered my respect for him and I didnt even realize it could happen on the holiday.

[goremet-chef]

i miss my niece 😔😔 she is so sillay i wanna pick her up and spin her like a pizza. she was MEAN TO ME LAST TIME I SAW HERR she didnt mean it tho shes 4 💀💀 i might have another niece soon??? if everything goes well i will, theres been no issues so far. my niece told me her name was gonna be olivia, which is super cute.

also my niece?? im confusing her so badly with my gender she calls me he half the time despite me never really saying thats the case lmao. WORKS FOR ME i promise itll be less confusing in the future gurl im workin on it.

pretty much my whole immediate family knows now and the only 2 who wouldnt be supportive at all one of them is DEAD now and the other one is unaware and we're gonna keep it that way lmao. even my sister whos said some. not great things about trans people in front of me is supportive? i think shes trying, she heard my mom calling me dom and approved of it and she asks me what i want my niece to call me. it will all come in due time alright.

the rest of my family? i dont give a shit about most of them. lots of bad people, im only worried about my dads side? idgaf about my dad at all but my aunt and my cousins theyre awesome, im just afraid i might lose them if they know. but i mean? my sibling accidentally had his work nametag on my birthday cuz we picked him up and the tag said they/them (he uses he/him in reality he just didnt want to deal with the hassle or whatever which is fair) and my aunt was like "oh are you they/them? you can be they/them if you want" and was like. idk the vibe i was getting wasnt sarcastic or mocking or anything so maybe theres a chance? i love her shes so cool, me and her look exactly the same like we have the same face SKFS and my mom called me downstairs by dom while she was right next to her and she didnt say anything so maybe itll be some kind of implication or WHATEVER. idk we'll see

[nerves-nebula]

my brother asked why my voice was so deep and I said I’d give him 3 guesses, and he said “You doin the little flip-flop? The little switcheroo?” and it took me like 10 seconds to realize that was his Polite Way of asking if i was transitioning

[ibetitdoes]

tw; transphobia mention, implied abuse

okay to interact

[oddmeu]

I’m coming back home tomorrow

[doolkat]

G5 SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

My thoughts! (cute pic added so it wont be just boring text)

So I just saw the movie.

I been waiting for this ever since it was announced. I gotta say I was skeptical about it first but now Im like 'huh I see"

General : lighthearted movie with good music.

Plot : mediogre, I wanted to know more what happend!?

Questions :like SUNNYS DAD??? he died HOW??? HOW.. WHY WERE THE placements in his house..? Why did everyone start hating each other? What happend to Twilight and her friends?

Im sure everyones ASKING these question and I feel like movie should had covered this but maybe its a work for the show.

Thoughts : I really loved the animation! outstaniding and so many refernces and little clues every where that Im not sure I picked these up. So much to notice! The FREAKING pinup calender of Hitch.. GAY... and yeH This leads me to thibk that they are adults like in their 20s? like why else would there be that kind of joke or idk. After all Sunny lives alone too and Izzy? Also Sprout literally has the man child vibes so I doubt they are really young. Late teens at max I think! THE GUARDS were so cute and funny.Dont mind if i SHIP em lol. Also Sprout lowkey gay we all know that. Their worlds were really pretty and I liked how funny sterotypes they all had of each other. The music was so good. Sprouts song is the best!! The ending makes me think SUNNYS wings and horn arent permanent. They were see threw so yeah that wont be a thing in the show so I dont think non of us need to scream about that. Really have so much questions and movie answered so little that it makes me think what did the movie told us? I did really enjoy it but did it explain enough about their current world to us? No absolutely not!

Unicorn/Pegasi/Earth pony:

Another intresting thing to note is how unicorns who use to be higher class ones in g4 are now primitive nations. They live in woods and didnt seem to have any tehnology ? They seem to be like this "hipster" society that lives in woods and collect crysthals and read poems. Anything to just get their time off. Earth ponies have a powerful propaganda going on. A very dictatorship kind of way of thinking. They all work as a little town society like all the tribes but earth ponies propaganda to hate and be scared of unicorns and Pegasi seems much stronger. Their society seems to me like a little town community kind of. They have some technology- doesnt seem to have smartphones but they have movies and other things. Pegasi seems to be most obssed with tehnology and celerbtiy and gossip media. Much like canterlot use to be with lots celebrities and higher class ponies. I guess they just needed soemtjing cuz they lost their abilty to fly so they all came obssed with royal family and celebrities and gossip culture. What im saying each tribe had their own way of coping with things. To unicorns this seemed to be the most hurtful because they had no "fake" hope like the Pegasi had who thought royal family only could fly.

Characthers: Im gonna get hate for this but I really liked Sprout? like I know he is man baby but I thought the dictator ship kind ruling was pretty funny and well he just wanted to make his mom proud. I liked that his mom wasnt insane either? like she saw that the power was getting to his head. Speaking of moms Queen Haven is icon. I like her. She just likes glamour and camera. Nothing wrong with that. I LAUGHED WHEN I SAW THAT THEY HAD GOLDEN JAIL. Pegasi are clearly very wealthy. Zipp to me in this movie was the weakest characther? she barely had any moments of her own. Pipp had more mean energry than i thought like I thought she was gonna be literally like OMG SLAAAY QUEEN YASSS all the time but she gladly wasnt. Im looking forward more to see both of the sisters and their differnces. Kinda reminds me of me and my sister tbh one is all about fashion and expensive things in life and I am well.. I like more earthy things. So im lookin forward seeing those two interact the most.Hitch was pretty cool. He is like mix of applejack and fluttershy. I like him, not bad at all but very charming and clearly adored in town. Ok now the best SUNNY AND IZZY!! they are kinda... fruity hehzhejdjej I MEAN NOT STRAIGHT but also I love how I could see them as literally soulmates in friend way.. the latern thing.. that was so sniff.. I CRIED OK.. SHRED SINGLE TEAR. anywayd Im glad Izzy isnt RANDOM XD RAWR kinda pony I thought shed be. Will see how they are treated later. SUNNY is just precious also SOCIALIST AF.. bruh zjejs idk how I feel about that like she has that vibe love and tolerance to all but it could go so wrong. But Im glad she didnt loose optimism fully in end! She is previous.

The plot is how it is so ILL give this movie solid 8/10. Enjoyable!

Anyways in general I think the movie was good! Go watch it. if not for anything else then the visuals and songs are really good!