#cuz i am simply unable of doing that ok

[rhaegxr]

𝐎𝐎𝐂; Writing a reply out of the 35463 owed? How about doing yet another 10+ multi para headcanon post instead?

[mfshipbracket]

i checked that users profile (on the shrek poll) and they really just say that to attract the fash side of tumblr, there are now reblogs from users who are openly alt-right. Tbh i think its best to turn reblogs off on that poll if it escalates even further. Its one thing to not care about “drama” in the replies but please dont be afraid to draw a line of how far people go.

what in the WORLD.

ok yeah. uh. i’ll have to review the notes on that cause the notifs on this blog move too fast for me to notice so thank you sincerely for your vigilance in catching that!!

this is also a psa to like. yeah stay alert lol. i know i can’t catch everything and i was planning to cut off replies there simply for how heated and weird it is

fwiw i DID try to turn off replies there specifically cuz of that person but i could not, and well. idk if it’s cuz i’m on mobile or not. i couldn’t hide replies either, no idea what’s going on with that lol (if there is like a really obvious solution. i’d love to hear it. simply cuz i’m not online and not totally savvy with tumblr shortcuts anymore)

and ahhh. i can’t turn off reblogs for the very stupid issue of not being able to edit polls 😵‍💫 so uhm. i don’t know. i don’t have the ability to control the post and who can see it/reply/reblog and this is a deeply troubling thing to learn about. ahhh. if anyone has solutions (besides the good ol block button. am aware.) i’d be glad to hear them 😰

edit: double checked on what i can do w replies on mobile and my options are rly just. reply/report/block. unable to hide things :( really sucks

[ahmoseinarus]

But I will point out that Vax was not present at the moment of Percy’s death, either, like he was with Kash. Percy was already gone when they got to him. I think the glow to Ripley’s gun right in front of his face, and Orthax swirling over him kind of covered it, especially after Ripley said multiple times, that Orthax would claim the souls of all killed by the guns that were built with his involvement. Would Vax know something was off? Was the jump-scare she gave him, waking him from sleep with Keyleth,the Matron trying to tell him something? Or was the death of Kash, the only one we have seen capable of bringing someone back, removing him as an option for them to reach out to, thus setting us up for a big moment for Pike?

And they seem content to accept Percy’s death, for now… What will make that change? Perhaps it will be Vax bringing up the concern that he did not see the Matron take Percy. Or, perhaps, they intend to go after Ripley to finish what Percy started. Perhaps they have absolutely no idea, until the moment they confront Ripley & Orthax, and the demon decides to taunt to them by dangling a screaming, tortured soul in their face, and it is only then that they realize what terrible thing has happened, and Percy’s soul is not at rest.  And perhaps that is what motivates them to decide they want their brother back in.

Perhaps that is the only way to set him free, returning him to life. Perhaps it will simply be a case of a furious Pike, wrestling his soul away from this demon and now she’s holding it, and well shit, what is she supposed to do with it? “Well, I can try to put it back where it belongs?”

So many intriguing possibilities…. But I will say, I was so thrown, and so stunned by the death of Kash, I kind of want it to mean more than just something to trigger a lightbulb for Vax that something was off with Percy… especially if this death is a permanent one!!!  especially considering how they are cutting deaths out of this animated series because they want to give more emphasis and respect and gravity to the ones that they keep in. Why add one in that never happened, unless you’re planning on keeping it, and making it a permanent change with no plan for resurrection and the return of the character. Especially a side character, as beloved, as they are. Cuz then…. What the ACTUAL FUCK??????

Like, I know that we don’t necessarily know whether or not the series is going to go all the way through to the final arc with the final, big bad at the campaign, given copyright issues, and shit with Wizards of the Coast but Kash was fucking there, dammit. Unless this was specifically requested by Will, who said he would be unable to commit to any further seasons, and would rather Kash go out with a bang, I am not OK with this, if this is a permanent death for Kash that serves no other purpose.

I'm pretty sure this scene is why Kash died. I think it served to show the audience that Vax didn't see the Matron of Ravens take Percy with her, and I think that is because she doesn't have his soul, Orthax does.

[nanjokei]

well, you know. something funny about how i vehemently denied being mentally ill well into high school despite various unpleasant incidents (no details heehee) and constant panic attacks and mental breakdowns. of course into university it did not get better. but i started being a little more honest with myself. started calling myself ambigiously mentally ill, but looking back now, i was still trying to downplay it. i felt that i did not "deserve" to label myself as anything as it would be an "excuse". not only that, but also enroaching on people who are "actually" mentally ill. people who were visibly "worse off", or perhaps simply made their misfortune clear before i did (it sounds silly, but i really did think like this). well... obviously i am very neurodivergent. even mental illness and anxiety and depression aside. very nice cocktail of me juice.

what does that even mean? wasn't i struggling too? i think the mental health discourse of the late 10's was so damaging. there was so much emphasis on "worth" and "proof"... i'm not talking about listing your mental illnesses, that is so early 10's tumblr and i think something usually younger people do (to a lot of detriment ofc). i'm talking about the silent pressure of "if you don't see a professional you decided you got it via webmd" or something. i didn't wanna seem like that... so i never questioned myself. ever. i just decided to acknowledge "something is wrong" and nothing else. of course, in an effort to be inclusive perhaps to maybe their friends, people would hastily tack on statements like "but it's okay if you do a lot of research".

what IS "a lot of research"? by what metric is that decided? how much research is that? how many hours, books, webpages, blog posts... i do think in this pedantic and literal kind of way. i take the words much too seriously. but when is it okay? such questions haunted me. honestly, i am unable to let the thought go. even if i recently in the past and even now go, "i'm an adult, should i not be able to tell and surmise what may be wrong? do i not have observations? can i not relate my experiences to others strongly? is it wrong of me to do so? do i not live in my own body?" this social pressure is not something i can make sense of, but i still feared it, heeded it, let it be something that commanded my life and how i saw myself.

i can never be diagnosed in this decade. even aside from the society i live in. how intensely i have to mask in my day to day life because of how intricately collectivist this society is. gender shit. my own personal circumstances which i will probably never speak of online. but it's okay. i don't really want or need a diagnosis. i know at least and am honest with myself, but i hope one day i can transition from "i am ambigiously neurodivergent" and the like to saying what i really feel. you know? because i am an adult who is at least somewhat self aware. like, in masking so intensely my entire life, in KNOWING i was so bad at knowing what to do in such inflexible social environments and having to learn from scratch, i honestly should have realized... no idea how i did not...

honestly it runs so deep sometimes i tell myself i don't have things i OBJECTIVELY have! like i have trichotillomania yes!! i pull my hair out constantly. but sometimes im like ok but what if i'm just pulling my hair out just cuz lol... DO YOU SEE!!! it is so deep seated. when i first started doing it my mom took me to a hair guy bc she thought my hair was falling out. he immediately recognized i was pulling it out, but didn't say it was a disorder or anything. maybe he didn't have the authority to, idk, i have no idea what his profession even was. it was not a hospital. we went home and i got yelled at. i wish he said something. but alas. i lived not knowing for years. so sometimes i still don't believe THAT. how am i gonna convince myself it's ok for me to say the quiet part about my neurodivergence out loud? that i've "earned" the right to do so? i've met so many people both irl and online that have validated my trich and i can't even fully believe it. so imagine... you know??

i'm not chasing a label, but i want to be able to say it one day and not care about approval (in the sense of others believing me) or "being incorrect". BECAUSE WHO CARES WHAT OTHERS THINK?! i believe others without thinking about it or doubting them right? and no one is living my life but me!! i want to be honest to myself completely one day!!! i want to wholeheartedly say i am ___ without thinking about it too hard. you know?! ;_;

i have no idea if any of this makes sense at all. i know my way of describing my feelings is confusing and very roundabout. it may not even be obvious what i am agonizing about, maybe it is, but i want to overcome my inhibitions wholeheartedly. i am ready to evolve past the self denial

[dazaiandhislovelybandages]

I just dicovered your blog and god, I'm amazed by your writing😩❤. So here's my request, mycroft x sick!wife. She got asthma attack late at night while he hadn't been home yet, when he arrive he found her could barely breath called a doctor and sit by her side comforting her. That's it. It's ok if u can't do it I understand! (Might request over and over again cuz i love u :) <3 )

Worried Sick {Mycroft Holmes}

Pairing: Mycroft Holmes x sick! wife! fem! reader

Warnings: mentions of asthma attacks

A/n: honestly I hope you like it, I wrote this as soon as I woke up so yeah. Also you can request as much as you like I don't mind haha. Btw I know shit about asthma so if I have made any sort of mistake, DM me and I'll fix it

It was around 11 pm when it all began. The inhaler the doctors had given you had reached its limit. You hadn't bothered much since you were already planning on going to the doctor tomorrow for your monthly check up so you would ask your doctor to prescribe you a new one. Plus, your asthma attacks weren't frequent.

Logic said you would be fine without one until tomorrow but logic apparently was wrong on that one.

You and Mycroft had been married for about a year now and the house you shared was not big and housed only three servants who were conveniently enough asleep when your asthma attack hit you.

You started coughing violently, unable to breath and though it had taken exactly one minute for Mycroft to ran up the stairs and get to you, to you it had looked like ages.

Along with Mycroft, who had just returned home from a more than exhausting day at work, your maid also burged in the room and was immediately ordered by your husband to get the doctor next door (let's talk about privilege later).

No more than five minutes later, the doctor arrived with an inhaler and all his things, ready to examine you. Right after stopping your asthma attack, you fainted.

“I don't know what happened, I just got back from work.” Mycroft said when the doctor asked him.

The latter had just finished examining your now sleeping body and was packing his things to leave while Mycroft's worried and angered gaze was driving him insane. Your husband knew exactly how much effect he had on the poor man just by sitting at a chair next to your bed, his legs crossed and his fingers carefully yet gracefully playing with his wedding ring.

He had almost given up on smoking as soon as he met you so it is needless to say that no one was permitted to smoke in the space you were in.

“Listen here, doctor, I don't care if it's possible or not but cure her.”

“Mr Holmes there are two possibilities-”

“Don't care.” Your husband cut the doctors sentence short. “If it's not possible then provide her with more inhalers. If something like that ever happens again I'll simply put the blame on you and I am more than sure that you don't want that.”

The old man quickly shook his head in response and left the room after telling your husband that he would hand him his report on it tomorrow.

“You are scaring people.” You rolled your eyes and made a move to sit on the bed but Mycroft stopped you almost immediately.

“I am sorry.” He kissed your temple and went ahead to start getting ready for bed. You silently watched him doing his night routine, wearing his silk pyjamas and brushing his hair.

“No you're not.” You told him as soon as he got under the covers.

“That's right, I'm not, I expect them to treat you like how I treat you goddammit. And I will not pursue this issue any further because my heart is still trying to calm down.”

You didn't have the time to respond. Mycroft had already wrapped his hands around you and most probably had already fallen asleep, knowing that you were now safe in his arms.

[doctorgerth]

When you have the time later or really whenever you want to- I would love to see how you write Doflamingo, Crocodile, and Mihawk (or Katakuri whichever one is easier!) reacting to their s/o getting all soft out of nowhere and telling them how much they sincerely love and appreciate them. Just some cute fluff hc/reactions- Of course you do not have to if you do not want to! Have a great day Love! <3

a/n: gdi I hate Doffy but man did this make me soft for him I went ahead and added Kata too cuz he is precious. 🤧 these ended up being more like imagines than proper reactions, I hope that’s ok! thanks for sending this in, I enjoy making totally NOT soft characters utter fluff balls perhaps a lil too much 💕

featuring: Doflamingo, Crocodile, Mihawk, & Katakuri x gn!reader

warnings: big scary men being soft for you

REACTING TO YOU SUDDENLY BEING SOFT

〚 “I really love you, you know that?” 〛

⤷ DOFLAMINGO‘s lips drop into a pout, almost a scowl as your sweet words ring in his ears. At first you think you might have caught him off guard or simply pissed him off, but when that infamous grin returns after some time, you feel almost relieved when he responds with a cocky, “Who doesn’t?” You roll your eyes and playfully swat at his chest, which elicits an amused chuckle deep within him as he instantly tangles his slender fingers with yours. You attempt to wriggle away but Doffy pulls you close, colliding his forehead gently against your own, and leans in to place a heavy, prolonged kiss along your pouty lips. He’s silent as he pulls away to stare at you, fingers delicately trailing your skin as if you were glass, the two of you enjoying the quiet morning together. His lips tremble, and he quickly pulls you in for more kisses so you don’t witness him crumbling under your loving gaze. But of course you see it, you can feel it in the slight up curve of his lips as they chase you endlessly, and in this moment, you know what he really means to say is: “Thank you for loving me.”

⤷ CROCODILE immediately stops writing and blankly stares at the paper on his desk, stiffening as the words on his paper which previously spelled out business jargon, now read your loving phrase repeatedly. He stares at it like a foreign text, unable to decipher its meaning. Did you want something? Were you upset with him? His heart drummed loudly in his chest, nearly deafening in the silence as he anxiously waited for the soul crushing but... to follow. Yet when he lifts his head up, you offer him a look so tender, so full of genuine devotion his body ignites from head to toe, those damned butterflies filling his stomach. Crocodile motions you over with a low, “C’mere.” because that’s all he can mutter at the moment. You easily oblige and make home in his lap as he stares up at you, offering you the same look of utter adoration. He places the cigar in the ashtray, deft fingers toying with your hair and grazing along the soft skin of your cheek, before placing a kiss along your jawline. “Now how am I supposed to be the big scary boss when you go around saying cute things like that?” His grin widens with love and a little mischief in his eyes as he squishes your cheeks in one hand, “I love you, my dear, but your charms will surely be the death of me.”

⤷ MIHAWK instinctively freezes as you wrap your arms around him from behind. He’s still not quite used to your affections, though he welcomes them. Just as he begins to relax in your embrace, he feels you mumble that phrase into the fabric of his shirt. He freezes once more, this time dropping the spoon he was using to stir the sauce into the sauce pan. In a frenzy, he retrieves the spoon and hurries to the kitchen sink so as to avoid any further messes on the floor and counter. He remains composed on the outside as he washes the spoon off, but on the inside, he is a flustered mess. It was far from the first time either of you had said those three words, but the way you said it tonight really resonated with him. It felt so surreal, to love and be loved in return, and the way you embraced him as he prepared the two of you dinner felt wondrously domestic. “Mihawk?” You drug him out of his thoughts and as he turned around to see you standing alone in the middle of the room, he knew he would do anything to keep you just like this forever. He approached you, damp hands cupping your cheeks, “Te amo con todo mi corazón.” His lips crashed onto yours as you shared a passionate kiss under the warm kitchen light.

⤷ KATAKURI blushes intensely and buries himself within his scarf, mumbling incoherent phrases about how “embarrassing” and “blunt” you are. Nonetheless, he reaches over to tuck you in, pulling the comforter snug against your cheek as you smile up at him, tired eyes and giddy smile, like an innocent child who is too excited to sleep. Kata’s eyes are focused as they try to look anywhere except you, because you are just too damn cute when you are sleepy like this. He’s sure your confession is nothing other than a slip of the tongue, your mind fuzzy with sleep. Either way, he had to take a couple of breaths to cool his heated cheeks before removing his scarf and crawling into bed with you. Immediately, you snuggle into his chest and sneak a chance to reach up and kiss his exposed lips. The two of you are hesitant to pull away but as you do, he stares at you dreamily behind long lashes, whispering a soft “I know.” You beam once more in victory before crashing against his broad chest. He can’t help but smile as the light of the moon peaking through the window reflects on your hair. He instinctively toys with your loose strands, feeling a sense of peace wash over him as your steady breathing fills the room. “I hope you know how much I really love you.”

If you enjoyed this, please be sure to leave a like, comment, and/or reblog! 🌸

[floraflow]

Is This A Dream???

SO. UMM. CRAZY NEWS??? I am quivering like a ninny as I write this, I can’t even believe this happened. Okay, okay, have to calm down and document this momentous occurance. 

So I’ve been practicing like CRAZY for this solo in my guitar class, rite? One of my fingertips was literally bleeding, I was practicing so hard (which made me feel pretty hardcore tbh). Anyway, today I did my solo and it actually went really really well! I played “Blackbird” by The Beatles and I only messed up a lil’ bit at the beginning (cuz of nerves), but as I kept playing, I got more into it and started feeling more confident. As soon as I was done tho, I remembered I was playing in front of a whole classroom of ppl, including the most gorgeous boy I’ve ever seen, and I basically sprinted to my seat before I could get a look at anyone’s face. They clapped, like they did for everyone else, but I still felt my stomach drop to my knees and my whole face was burning hot. I was wishing I could shrink and crawl inside my guitar and just live there for the rest of my life.（/｡＼) 

But now for the really crazy part...

When the bell rang, I was rearing to rush out of the classroom when I felt someone lightly touch my arm and softly say my name. I turned around and there was James.

I felt my heart begin to thump again and I prayed to the heavens that I wasn’t turning a humiliating shade of red. To my surprise, he seemed kinda nervous too. He told me I did an amazing job (!!!!!!!!!!!) and I think I mumbled “thank you” or something, when he continued, “I’d love to hear you sing sometime.”

I was honestly taken aback. “How did you know I sing?” I asked him, the utter shock probably visible on my face.

Then he said, “Oh, I mean, I know you’re in the choir. I have some friends in choir too.” He smiled bashfully and I swear I could have peed my pants he was so cute. He has these big, mesmerizing puppy dog eyes that just completely captivated me, stunned me.

“Yeah,” I said dumbly, unable to conjure another thought.

“You know Christa Fuller?” he asked. I nodded (she’s one of the popular girls and she won homecoming queen this year). He went on, “Christa’s in choir too. Anyway, there’s a party at her place on Friday and I was wondering if you wanted to come?”

By this point, I had lost the capacity for speech so I simply smiled and nodded like an idiot.

“Cool,” he said and he handed me a scrap of notebook paper with Christa’s address on it. Beneath it was a phone number. “That’s mine,” he said, “you know, if you ever want to talk or anything.”

“I don’t have a cell,” I squeaked.

“That’s fine,” he said, flashing me with another achingly adorable grin. “We can talk at school. And you can let me know if you need directions to Christa’s, or even a ride there.”

“Ok,” I squeaked.

“I mean, yeah, I can give you a ride. I’ll pick you up at 8?”

“Yeah,” I said breathlessly.

Then he was like “cool, I’ll see you around” or something, but I had already floated up into the clouds, so bloated with elation that nothing again could anchor me to the earth. I walked out of that classroom in a daze, I went to work in a daze, I came back home in a daze, I’m still kind of in a daze RIGHT NOW.

I’ve never been to a party before. What do I wear? CRAP WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT MY MOM?? Why am I FREAKING OUT so much about being invited to a party with a bunch of PREPS? Oh, right, because I think it just might be... a DATE??? (´⊙ω⊙`)！

[noladyme]

My Only Sunshine - Chapter 8 FINAL CHAPTER

Liv is as human as they come – faults and all. After a dark experience in her past, she is determined to live life on her own terms, and never let anyone claim her as theirs again. This becomes an issue, when she meets a 1000-yearold vampire, who is dead-set on claiming her as his own.

CHAPTER 7

I had my first shift back at Merlotte’s a few days later; having needed to wind down a bit. I hadn’t called or texted anyone to let them know exactly when I’d be back, so when I arrived at work, my friends rushed over to greet me. I noticed Sam examining my exposed skin for fang-marks , and was happy Eric had helped me rid of them. I couldn’t take a telling off from Sam right now; still too raw from my trip to Dallas. When he was satisfied, I wasn’t hurt, he gave me a warm hug. Sookie was next, and gave me a secret empathetic smile. “I just want to get back to work”, I said. “Back to normal”. “Did something happen to you in Dallas, cher’?”, Sam asked. “You look like you’ve been through it”. “No… nothing like that. Just jet-lagged from vamp-time”, I smiled. He nodded disbelievingly. “Any more… pictures show up here?”. “No. Nothing”, he replied. I sighed in relief. “Good. I’ll just go do, what you pay me to do, now”. I walked off, feeling both his and Sookie’s eyes on my back as I went.

I was happy to be back in flats, as I didn’t have any vamp-blood to heal my blisters. The lack of heels didn’t stop Jason from checking out my ass, as I came over to serve him and his crew their food. “Hey Liv! I hear you’ve been in Dallas. You running away from us permanently?”, he asked. “Nope. I’m in Bon Temps for the long haul”, I smiled. “Good, ‘cuz I’ve been thinking… You and I never did go on that date…”. I patted his cheek. “And we never will, Jason. You’re too much man to handle, big guy”. He leaned back in his seat, and smirked at me flirtatiously. “Nah, I think you can take it”. “Never gonna happen, Stackhouse”, I called over my shoulder, as I walked away.

Just after sundown, Bill showed up. After having kissed Sookie, he took me by surprise, by leaning in to give me a half hug. “I am glad to sae you unharmed”, he said. “We’re you really that worried?”, I asked. “I’ve been fine”. Bill lowered his voice for discretion. “But that phone call. Eric said…”. I felt tears forming in my eyes. “Liv doesn’t want to talk about that, Bill”, Sookie said. “But…”, Bill tried. “Please…”, I croaked. “Sook’, can you take care of my tables for a minute? I need some air…”. Sookie nodded, and patted my back, before I slipped out the back door.

The night was chilly for once; and I felt goosebumps form on my exposed arms and legs. I was feeling ridiculous for crying, but couldn’t help myself. Bill came out to join me. “I am terribly sorry. I didn’t realize I’d cause such pain to you by speaking of…”. “It’s fine, Bill. You couldn’t know”, I said, and accepted the handkerchief he handed me. I took a deep breath, and leaned my back against the wall next to the dumpster; grabbing a cigarette from my fanny pack, and lighting it. “Can I ask you a vampire question?”, I said. “Of course!”, he responded. I chewed my lip nervously. “What does it mean when a vampire wants to make a human theirs?”.

Bill thought for a moment. “Well, when a vampire wants to lay claim to a human, so that no other vampire can; he or she will do so by simply proclaiming it”. “You don’t ask the human?”, I said wonderingly. “Not usually, no”. “But what about what the human wants? What if they don’t want to belong to the vampire?”. Bill shrugged. “After the great reveal, consensual relationships between humans and vampires are much more common… obviously. In Sookie’s and my case, if she wanted to discontinue our relationship…”. He seemed pained at the thought. “Well, I would let her go. But she would still be mine, when it came to other vampires wanting to feed from her, or have… relations with her. I’ve claimed her…”. “Huh…”, I muttered.

“I take it Eric has claimed you…”, Bill said, distaste clear in his voice. “No”, I said. He frowned in confusion. “Why?”. I took a draw from my smoke, and looked at him earnestly. “Because I said no”. Bills jaw literally dropped, and I saw more of the white in his eyes than I ever had before. “And he… accepted that?”. I nodded. “Are you sure we are talking about the same Eric Northman? He is the kind of vampire who takes what he wants”. “Not me… I guess he didn’t want me that bad”, I muttered, and took another draw from my cigarette. I wasn’t sure about the truth of my own words. Eric had asked me, which was apparently out of character for him; but I didn’t dare let myself believe that there was a deeper meaning to his behavior.

Bill seemed unable to come up with a proper reply, and instead decided to pat my shoulder. Suddenly, he froze in place, looking towards the trees. “What’s wrong?”, I asked. “I don’t know…”, he said quietly. “I saw something”. I felt the hair at the back of my neck stand up straight. “What kind of something?”. “I am not sure… It’s probably nothing. No need to worry. Please tell Sookie I will be back to escort her home”. He was gone within a second, only leaving a gush of wind that made the smell of the dumpster hit my nose. I cringed, and went back inside. After relaying Bills words to Sookie, I got back to work.

As late as it was, there were fewer orders for food; as people had turned to alcohol instead. I went back and forth between the bar for a few hours, serving gin & tonics, beers and whiskey sours to the good and less than good people of Bon Temps. After a while, I finally felt able to push my trip to Dallas to the back of my mind; and focus on just being present where I was. Just before last call, Sam came up to me with a tray with two pink drinks. “Watermelon margaritas…”, he shrugged. “Never made one before, but the guy in the corner insisted on it. Wanted you to bring them”.

I spun around, and looked towards the corner booth; where Thomas was seated, smiling at me. My hands began shaking. “Liv? You ok?”, Sam asked. “You know him?”. “He’s… someone I knew back in San Diego”, I breathed. “Do you need me to take care of it?”. I shook my head fervently. I didn’t know why Thomas was here, but whatever his reason was, I didn’t think he remember having attacked me; and I didn’t want to cause a scene. “I got it…”, I said, and took the tray; walking over to the table.

I set down the drinks in front of Thomas. “Nice to see you again”, he said. “Will there be anything else?”, I asked coldly. “Just some company, if you don’t mind…”, Thomas smiled. “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m at work”, I replied. “But I got your favorite drink, Liv… And I sent you those pictures, to remind you of the good times we had”. I met his eyes, which were cold and hard. I looked over my shoulder at Sam, who’d returned to serving the patrons at the bar. “Your vampire friend is gone. My vampire friend took care of that. Now sit down, before I have to do something rash”. He lifted his jacket slightly, letting me see the gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans.

My heart beat 1000 miles per second, and I slowly lowered myself to sit across from Thomas. “What do you want?”, I whispered. “I want to talk to you about what happened that night…”, he replied. “You remember”, I said. Thomas nodded. “How?”. “The vampire friend I mentioned… His blood makes me able to do things, you can’t even imagine”. I shook my head, almost in pity of him. “How much is he plying you with?”. “Enough to make it close to impossible to glamour me”, Thomas grinned. “You know how it is. You can’t be glamoured either. That tall vampire saw to that”. “No… that’s different. Thomas, you have an addiction… a sickness!”, I sighed. “You have to know this is crazy!”.

He jolted forwards, and grabbed both my hands over the table; making it look as if we were holding hands, when in reality, he was hurting me. “What’s crazy is you throwing away a perfectly good guy, and letting some vamp feed on you instead”, he hissed. “You were going to rape me”, I whimpered. “You wanted it! You were practically throwing yourself at me for weeks!”. “No, I wasn’t… I said yes to one date, that was it. I was just being friendly…”. He let go of my hands, and sat back again. “You’re such a fucking slut, you know that? You led me on…”. He grabbed the gun from his waistband, cocked the hammer, and moved it under the table. I felt the barrel press at the inside of my knees. “You probably put out to that vampire in Dallas, didn’t you…? How much did he pay you?”. “Don’t do this, please…”, I whimpered.

Sam rang the bell. “That’s it, folks. Drink up!”. Sookie walked towards Thomas and me. “Don’t say anything. I swear I’ll shoot you, and everyone else in this shithole…”, Thomas hissed, and then suddenly smiled brightly at my approaching friend. Once at the table, Sookie looked questioningly at me. “Who’s your friend, Liv?”, she asked. I smiled as brightly as I could at her; willing her to hear my thoughts. “This is Thomas”, I said. Sookie. He’s dangerous. Listen to his thoughts, please!. “We knew each other in San Diego, and reconnected in Dallas”. Sookie’s eyes flickered, and she stuck out her hand to Thomas; who grabbed it with his free left hand. “Hi there, Thomas!”, she smiled. I saw confusion ghost her face, before she looked back at me. “Liv, could you come help us close up? We’re kind of swamped…”. I hoped she was trying to get me away from Thomas. “Actually… I was hoping to take Liv with me, now. You know, catch up…”, he smiled. “I really need to…”, I began. I felt the barrel of his gun bore into my bare skin. “Come on… We didn’t have a chance to really talk in Dallas”, he said, with an edge to his voice.

Sookie looked down towards the tabletop for a nanosecond. “Do you mind doing us a solid here, Sook’?”, I said. Let us go, Sookie. Please let us go. He’ll kill everyone in here. “I’ll do your prep for you tomorrow”. Sookie nodded. “What should I tell Sam?”, she asked. “Just tell him I’m catching up with a friend”, I smiled. I could see Thomas was getting agitated, and sighed deeply. “We should go…”, I said. Eric… I want Eric. Sookie blinked. “I’ll see you tomorrow”, she said. “Uh huh…”, I croaked. “I will!”, she said, and walked away.

After being satisfied Sookie was far enough away, Thomas slipped the gun into the back of his jeans. “We’re going to walk out of here real calm. Don’t even think about trying anything. I got enough V in me to rip you apart in a second”, he hissed through a smile. Once he got up to stand, I followed, and he put his arm around me; holding on to me tightly. I was too afraid to even look at Sookie or Sam, so simply followed where Thomas led me. I prayed that Sookie had understood my thoughts.

Once out of view of the bar Thomas pushed me towards a black chevy of a newer model, and just as I thought he was about to open the door for me to enter; he struck me over the back of my head, and I was out cold.

---

I don’t know how much time had passed when I woke, but it was still dark. I was lying on the backseat of Thomas’ car, which he’d parked down a gravel road somewhere I didn’t recognize immediately. He was leaning against the car, having one of my cigarettes. I tried to crawl for the door on the opposite side of where he was standing, but he noticed me moving, and opened the door; dragging me by the ankle, out of it. I hit the ground outside; the gravel cutting in to my skin.

Thomas fell to his knees next to me. “I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to hurt you just now!”, he smiled, and stroked my cheek. “That’s not how I want this to go”. I raised my hand to the back of my head, and felt a bump there. “You knocked me out”, I rasped. “I just needed you to go with me, without causing trouble”, he said, and raised me into a seated position. “What are you going to do to me?”, I asked. “You know what I’m going to do… You and I are going to finish what we started a year ago”, he said. I felt tears trickling down my cheeks, as I shook my head. “No…”. “Yes”, Thomas said. “You’re mine”. There was no mercy in his voice. I didn’t have anyone to save me this time. I didn’t have Eric. God, I wanted Eric there, to protect me – to hold me. I shook myself from the thought. If I wanted free, I’d have to help myself.

Grabbing a handful of gravel, I flung it at Thomas’ face. He covered his eyes, and cried out; and I managed to get on my feet, and run down the road. With a roar, Thomas got on his feet, and ran after me. “Get back here, you stupid cunt!”, he growled. I turned, and ran away from the road, through the trees; in hopes that I could find somewhere to hide. I was dizzy and heaving for breath, and knew that sheer speed wouldn’t be what got me away from my attacker. Stumbling over some branches, I fell to my knees, and cried out in pain, as a sharp rock cut in to my palm. “Don’t rouse them ‘gaters!”, Thomas yelled after me, with a mock Louisiana drawl. “Don’t want them getting to you before I do”.

I got on my feet again, and got back to running. Soon, I was recognizing the area. I knew I was near the cemetery between Sookies and Bills houses, and headed in the direction I thought might be right to get to the vampire’s house. Once I saw the fence surrounding the cemetery, I almost cried in relief.

I heard a loud pop, and felt a sharp pain in my thigh; before falling to the ground, just at the entrance to the graveyard. Before long Thomas was stood over me, his gun in hand. He’d shot me. “Why do you have to make this so difficult?”, he growled, and kicked me hard in the stomach. I curled up, heaving for breath. “Stop. Please stop…”, I pleaded. Thomas grabbed a hold of my head, and I put my hands around his wrist, so he wouldn’t tear it at the roots. He dragged me into the cemetery, and threw me on the ground in front of an old gravestone. “No…”, I sobbed. “You like fucking dead people so much, I’ll let you die next to them as well”. He pounded his fist into my chest, making all air leave my lungs. “You’re not even worth it, you bitch”. Blow after blow hit my body, as I struggled to get oxygen into my lungs. Every time Thomas’ fist hit me, he followed it with angry slurs and insults. I tried screaming for help, but in the end, the pain was so extreme I couldn’t make a sound anymore. I was beginning to feel cold, and saw that the wound in my leg was bleeding profusely. I was losing a lot of blood, very fast.

I laid on my back, looking up at the stars, as Thomas continuously pounded at me; when I heard a roar, and Eric came out of the darkness – grabbing Thomas by the neck, and tearing him away from me. Thomas was knocked out when his back hit a nearby gravestone, and Eric ran over to me. “Liv…”, he breathed, and put his hand on my bruised cheek. I coughed up some blood, and he turned me gently, to let me spit it out. “Eric?”, I heard Bills voice call out. “She’s here!”, Eric replied. “She’s hurt bad, but I can heal her… I should have come sooner. I’m sorry, Liv”. His eyes were pained, and I tried to reach for his face. “Don’t move. Just let me…”.

He was grabbed from behind, and thrown away from me. Rose had arrived out of nowhere, and was now doing her best to do some damage to Eric, by biting in to his neck. Eric roared in pain, and Bill came running to help Eric. The two male vampires soon had the upper hand in the fight; but apparently, the plan hadn’t been to win the fight – merely to distract them.

I felt myself get lifted from the ground, and was soon looking in to the eyes of Stan. “Stand down, Northman!”, he growled. Eric immediately released the hold he’d had on Rose, and spun around to face Stan. His eyes were wide in rage and what seemed to be fear. “Stan, let her go”, he said. Rose edged away, to go check on Thomas. “I don’t think so”, Stan said. “This gash cost me my sheriff’s position”.

“Your human is alive”, Rose said, from where she was standing over Thomas. “Fuck him. I don’t need him anymore”, Stan said. “You sure? ‘Cuz I could eat”, Rose smirked. “Knock yourself out”, Stan said. Rose was about to lift Thomas, so that she could bite him, when her chest burst open. She turned in to goo within seconds, revealing Godric behind her; still holding on to her heart. Pam was a few paces behind him. “Sorry we’re late”, she smiled. “Godrics plane just landed”.

Godric took a few slow steps towards Stan. “Stay back!”, Stan said; spinning me around, so my back was to his chest. He grabbed my head, and tilted it to the side. I didn’t have the strength to fight him off. “I’ll snap her neck”. “Not before I rip your head off!”, Eric hissed. Stan simply laughed coldly. “Stan. This isn’t the way…”, Godric said. “You will not get back in the good graces of the authority by killing this woman”. “Fuck the authority. Fuck all of you… Kneeling to lesser beings? You should be ashamed!”. “No one is kneeling”, Godric said. Eric, Pam and Bill gave each other a look, and began flanking Stan and I. “We are simply coexisting”.

Stans grip around my chest was so tight, that I began sobbing in pain again. “See that? They’re weak… below us!”, he said. “She was important enough for the magister to want her to stay alive”, Godric said. “And why is that?”, Stan asked. “What is she? She does smell interesting”. He lowered his nose to a cut over my brow. I heard Eric growl, and Stan chuckled in response. “I told you I would have a taste!”. “I’m going to kill you”, Eric roared. Stan knew his time was up. He was outnumbered; and at least two of the vampires present, had hundreds of years on him. “Then I might as well go out a happy vampire”, he said. Stan sunk his fangs into me, and sucked. “Nej!”, I heard Eric cry out in an agonized voice.

Stans bite wasn’t sensual as Erics had been. It was like being torn open, and literally eaten alive. My neck was burning from the bite, and my eyes rolled back in my head in agony. Then suddenly, he dropped my body to the ground. Everything became foggy. I could just make out, as Pam, Bill and Eric attacked Stan. I thought I saw Pam and Bill hold Stan down, as Eric grabbed his head, and tore it clean from his body; before he became the same kind of goo that Rose’s had.

I was hardly breathing – couldn’t even feel any pain anymore – and I knew I was dying. A pair of strong arms cradled me, and I forced myself to focus on Erics face. “I have to heal her”, he said. “It’s too late, Eric… she lost too much blood”, Bill said with a pained voice. “I’m so sorry, Liv…”. Eric met my eyes, looking like he’d never be happy again. “Stay with me”, he breathed, and pressed his lips to mine. “Snälla Liv… mit solsken…”. I wanted nothing but to embrace him. Make him smile again. “Y-yours…”, I rasped. “Yours…”. A bloody tear escaped Erics eye, and a pained smile forced itself to his lips. “Mine…”, he whispered, and stroked my temple; when his expression became determined.

Pam came over, and put a hand on his shoulder. “The sun will be up soon”, she said. “We have to go”. Eric looked at her with hard eyes. “Dig a hole”, he said. “Eric…”, Bill said warily. “Are you sure…?”. “I said, dig a fucking hole!”. Bill and Pam disappeared from sight, and Godric put a hand on the top of Erics head. Their eyes locked for a second, before Godric disappeared in the direction the others had went.

My breathing had become a rattling, and Eric pulled me impossibly closer to him. “No… not yet. You have to drink”. Extracting his fangs, he bit in to his wrist, and put it to my lips. I didn’t have the strength to suck; so simply looked into Erics eyes, as his blood flowed into my mouth, and down my throat. Before long, the wounds closed, and Eric bit into his skin again; repeating the process.

I used my last ounce of energy to lift the corners of my lips into a soft smile; losing myself in Erics blue eyes, before everything went black.

“Min Liv… mit liv”.

---

I couldn’t move. I was held down by some unknown force, and everything was blackness. My face was pressed against something both firm and soft, leaving very little room for me to breathe; which I realized was futile anyway, as there wasn’t any air to be had. Someone was holding on to me firmly but gently, and I knew the embrace. I’d been in it before.

With the tiny bit of air in my lungs still there, I tried to speak. “Eric…”. It came out as a peep; but must have woken him, because I felt him move. Panic began to take me over, and I tried to move myself. I needed air, soon. Eric used all his strength to break through what was holding us down – dirt, I realized. We’d been buried. Just as I was about to pass out from the lack of oxygen, Eric grabbed my wrists and pulled me out of the ground after him.

I took a deep heaving breath, and then coughed. Eric was wiping the dirt out of my face, so I could meet his eyes. “Liv…”, he breathed. He was dirty, just like me; but it didn’t take away from his beauty. The dim light of the moon, made him almost shimmer over me. Eric held me against him, and stroked my cheek smilingly for a few seconds – kissing my forehead – before a confused expression took over. He began running his palm over my exposed skin, his cool hand in sharp contrast to my warmth, as he seemingly examined me. “What happened?”, I croaked. Suddenly Pam was next to us, almost looking happy to see me; before she also frowned – her eyes wary. “Where’s Godric?”, Eric demanded. “In the house”, Pam said. Eric got on his feet, and picked me up in his arms. Without speaking, he carried me out of the graveyard, and towards Bills large house. “Eric, what’s happening?”, I asked quietly. He didn’t respond, but simply carried me over the threshold as Pam opened the door; and in to the living room.

Sookie, Bill and Godric were seated there, and all got up to stand, when Eric entered the room with me. Bill parted his lips and widened his eyes when he saw me; whereas Godric looked like he was looking at something completely normal. “Liv!”, Sookie cried out, and ran towards Eric to greet me. Bill grabbed her arm and held her back. “Careful…”, he said.

Eric set me down on the couch, and put a hand to my chest, seemingly feeling my heart beat. “Why is she alive?”, he asked. Memories from the night before came back to me, and I drew a deep, ragged breath, when I realized what Eric had tried to do. “Because she can’t be turned”, Godric said. “You cannot make her vampire”. “But she was dead…”, Eric began. “I’m here, you know. Please stop talking about me like I’m not!”, I said. Godric smiled warmly at me. “You most certainly are here”, he said. Pam stifled a grin, and I turned my face to look at Eric. He sat down next to me, and looked at me like I was the strangest creature he’d ever met. “You tried to turn me…”, I said. “So, why am I still human?”. Eric looked bewildered. “I… don’t know”, he admitted. “You were dead. I heard your heart stop”. I looked down at my chest, as if I could see the heart in question. Eric turned to look at Godric. “Vad är hon?”.

Godric sat back down, and looked across the faces of the room. “Liv is something no one else in this room, maybe in the world is. Human”. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, trying to find the words to respond to that. “That makes no sense at all”, I finally said. “There are humans everywhere. Are you telling me I’m some kind of weird subspecies?”. “Quite the opposite”, Godric smiled. “You are as human as it is possible to be. Your blood is like human blood was, before they dabbled in magic; and before they interbred with fae-folk and shifters. When they were purely human”. “But vampire blood heals me, just like everyone else”, I said. “The healing components of our blood is merely biology…”, Godric said. “Glamouring; bloodbonds; the visions, strength, and pleasures having our blood can give; and becoming one of us… That’s magic”. “And I am completely magic-less. Magic-resistant, even”, I muttered. Godric nodded. “That’s kind of… sad”, I said. “I think it’s remarkable”.

Bill cleared his throat. “With all due respect, Godric. That does not explain why Liv is alive”. He was still holding Sookie back from coming over to greet me; seemingly worried I’d suddenly sprout fangs, and give in to bloodlust. “As Eric said, she was dead. I also heard her heart stop”. “Erics blood is ancient; and he comes from a strong bloodline, both on his human and vampire side”, Godric said matter-of-factly. “He cannot turn Liv, but he was able to bring her back from death”. Eric smirked smugly; feeling very happy about himself, obviously. I couldn’t help but smile a little at him. “How?”, Bill asked. “I cannot say for sure”, Godric said. “But I suspect that the humanity in Liv fought back against being turned vampire; and as the magic could not take hold in her, she simply rose as a human again”. “That still sounds kind of magical”, Pam said. “Maybe… Or maybe it was just the very strong curative properties in Erics blood that healed and jolted her back to life”. “What if she died again? Could Eric just bring her back human?”, Sookie asked. “Let’s not test that theory. Being buried alive was not fun”, I said, shuddering.

Eric smiled at me, and picked a stray clump of dirt out of my hair. When he saw Bills smirking reaction to his caring gesture, he drew his lips back in a sneer. “Mine!”, he growled. I’d said that, before I died. I had given myself to Eric, and there wasn’t a chance in hell, he was letting go now. Godric smiled affectionately at his child.

My throat was dry, I was tired, and I wanted to wash myself off from dirt and grit. “I want to go home…”, I breathed. Eric nodded. “Pam, fetch the car, so we can go back to Shreveport”, he ordered. “Thank fuck. I’m not spending another day in Bills smelly cubby", Pam said. Grabbing a hold of Erics wrist, before he could whisk me away, I shook my head. “No… I want to go home, to my house”, I said. Eric recoiled at my words. “You said…”. “I’m still my own, even if I did say yes”, I said quietly. “Please, take me home…”. After a moment, he gave me a stoic nod; before looking at Godric, who had gotten on his feet again. “I’ll not leave before we have a chance to say farewell”, Godric smiled. “Pamela can entertain me with tales of your debauchery, in the meanwhile”.

I got on my feet, and took three long strides towards the ancient vampire; wrapping my arms around him. He froze in place, completely taken of guard. “Thank you for everything, Godric”, I said, and kissed his cheek. As I stepped back, he held his fingertips to where my lips had left their mark. Eric, Pam and Bill all stood mouths agape and wide-eyed at my gesture. For a moment, Godric almost looked like a human, just a young man in his late teens; almost blushing. He must have had some of Bills TruBlood. “I’ve not been embraced like that in more than 2000 years”, he smiled. “Thank you”. It was my turn to blush.

Eric put a gentle hand on my shoulder, and after a final smile towards Godric, I let him lead me towards the front door. Sookie ran after us, Bill not holding her back this time; and I let my friend hug me warmly. “You heard me…”, I smiled. “Not clearly”, she said, as she stepped back. “But I knew something was wrong, and when I took that guys hand, his mind was screaming about what he had planned”. She swallowed hard, and I saw her eyes well up. I squeezed her hand. “Thank you, Sookie…”. She wiped her eyes, and smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow at work, right?”, “I’ll consider letting her go”, Eric said. I rolled my eyes at him. “See you then”, I smiled at Sookie, and walked out the door; Erics hand on my lower back. We walked down the steps of the porch, when Sookie called after me again. “Liv? I did hear one of your thoughts clearly…”. I looked back at her. “What was that?”. She smiled warmly, before looking at Eric, and back at me again. “Why do you think I called him?”, she said. “You take care of her, Eric Northman!”. Eric gave her a curtly nod, and she went back into the house.

Once standing in the driveway, I sighed heavily. “Shit. My car is still at Merlotte’s”, I frowned. Eric brushed his thumb against my jaw. “Come here”, he said quietly; and whisked me into his arms. Before I knew what had happened, we’d lifted off. Looking down at the disappearing ground, I let out a terrified squeal. “Eric! We’re flying”, I said, and clamped my arms around his neck. “I know”, he said. “Why are we flying?”. “Because it’s faster than walking”. He sounded amused at my frightened whimpers, but when he looked at my face, his eyes softened. “I’ve got you, Liv. I’m not letting go”. He brushed his lips to my forehead. My eyes widened, as I saw we were heading towards a group of tall trees. “Eyes on the road…! Or in the air… whatever”. Eric chuckled, and I hid my face in his chest, as we narrowly escaped hitting some branches.

I didn’t open my eyes for the rest of the flight.

---

I felt firm ground under my feet, as Eric set me down on the ground gently. Opening my eyes, I saw that we were stood in front of my small house. “Thank you”, I whispered. “You’re welcome”, Eric replied. “I still don’t understand why you insisted on coming here. You’ll be much more comfortable at my house”. “You have a house?”, I asked, as I grabbed my hide-a-key from under a stone near the mailbox. My key-ring was still in my car, back at Merlotte’s. “You thought I slept at Fangtasia every day?”. He sounded amused again. “I have a house… A few actually. The one in Shreveport isn’t the largest, but it has room for you”. I unlocked my door, and shook my head smilingly. “What…? You’ll make Pam give me one of her shoe-rooms?”, I joked, and turned to face him in the doorway. “Not that she needs both of them; but that won’t be necessary. There’s a spare bedroom, if you want your own… for when you insist on sleeping”. There was a frisky tone to his voice.

Still trying to wrap my head around the need for a room specifically for shoes, I went into the house. Eric followed me inside, and brushed his hand over my bottom. “Dirt”, he smirked, when I gave him a chiding look. “Pack whatever you need, and come with me”. “I can’t do that”, I said. “But I’ll take care of you. You won’t have to live in this… house”. It was clear to me, that Eric would have rather used a word like shack or even sewer. “You don’t have to work for Sam Merlotte and Bill Compton”. “I’ll just be your live-in fangbanger?”, I said. “Liv, no… I…”, Eric began. “I like working, and making my own money. I like Bon Temps”.

I unfastened the dirty fannypack from my waist, and dropped it on the coffee-table, next to the check and note which were still laying there. “If you like making your own money, why haven’t you cashed this?”, Eric asked, and picked up the check. “It didn’t feel right”, I muttered. “I didn’t really do any of the work you hired me to do. Unless you count the sex and the blood; but that wasn’t part of the original deal. Even if you did say…”. Eric looked down at the check, apparently not wanting to meet my eyes. “That’s not what this was for. And you did do your job”. He reached out the check to me. “Please take it”. I took the piece of paper, and put it in the drawer of the dresser my small tv was stood on.

I picked at some of the dirt under my fingernails, from our burial. “You’re fidgeting”, Eric said quietly. “I do that”, I said. “Does it still bug you?”. “No… It never did”, he replied. He took my hand, and merged his fingers with mine. “I hurt you… But you have to know, I didn’t mean what I said. I didn’t bring you to Dallas to get you in bed… I hoped for it, but I didn’t expect it”. “I know”, I muttered, and looked through my lashes at him. He seemed vulnerable; a strange contrast to his usual suave demeanor. I brushed my lips against his knuckles. “And it’s not like I didn’t want it to happen also. I wanted you… want you”. “You have me… And you said you were mine”. “I did. And I meant it. But I’m still…”. “Your own as well”, he smiled softly. “I understand”. “Do you?”, I smirked. “No…”, he admitted. “But I know that if I want you as you are, with everything you are, I’ll have to accept it…”.

“When Thomas had me, all I wanted was to see you…”, I said. Anger ghosted Erics face. “You will never have to see him again!”, he declared. “What happened to him?”, I asked. He shook his head. “You don’t have to worry about that”. I frowned at him. “What did you do to him?”. Eric gave me a reluctant look. “I can’t spend the rest of my life not knowing, whether he’ll pop up in my life again. I won’t feel safe…”. “He won’t”, he said, and put his free hand on my cheek. “Is he dead?”, I asked in a whisper. Eric shook his head with a sour expression. “Godric wouldn’t let me kill him… But when he hit that gravestone, he broke his back. He won’t be walking again”. I gasped, and shuddered. “He broke his back? Really?”. His sour expression turned a bit more content. “Well, Pam might have broken it in a few more places, before she dropped him off at the hospital… He can’t get you again; and he doesn’t have Stans protection anymore, so he won’t talk”.

I sighed, and leaned forwards; letting Eric embrace me. He buried his large hand in my hair, and held me tightly but gently with his other arm. After a while, he moved his hand from my hair to my chin, to tilt my head backwards; and in a fluid movement melded his lips with mine. “You taste like… graveyard dirt”, I said against his lips. “Come on…”.

Taking his hand, I led Eric into my small bathroom. I began removing my clothes, and dirt and grime scattered over the floor from them. Eric pulled of his leather jacket and top, before unlatching my bra for me. I smiled over my shoulder at him, and pulled it down my arms. While I pulled down my panties, Eric removed his pants and underwear; and followed me in to the small shower cubicle. I turned on the water as warm as I could handle, and began rubbing the dirt from my arms. I felt Erics hands stroking my back as he stood behind me, and smelled my apple scented bodywash, as he lathered it across my skin.

Tilting my head back, to get the dirt out of my hair, Eric leaned over my shoulder, and kissed my exposed throat. “I’m happy you’re still human. I prefer you warm and alive”, he breathed. His hands travelled to cup my breasts, and my nipples perked at his fingers’ ministrations of them. “Then why did you try to turn me?”, I asked. “Because I would rather have the ghost of who you were, than losing you completely”. He spun me around to face him, and hunched down to meet my eyes. “Are you angry that I did?”. I put some bodywash in my hands, and began washing his chest. “No… If I was about to lose you, and there was a way to keep even part of you with me, I would”. I looked down to avoid his gaze. Eric put a hand on my cheek. “I’m not going anywhere”. His voice made me feel warm all over. “You make it sound like you’re mine, like I’m yours”, I whispered. I got no response, and the warmth I’d felt a second ago, was switched out with fear. Fear of rejection; fear that Eric didn’t actually feel about me like I did about him. I hesitantly met his eyes, and saw that he was smiling warmly at me. “Are you?”. It came out almost as a peep. “Yes”. There was no reluctance in Erics response; and before I had a chance to react to it, his lips were on mine.

The cascading water washed over us, as our mouths and tongues explored each other. Eric held on to me, as I rose to my toes, to wrap my arms around his shoulders. My feet were slipping, but I was never worried about falling. I was safe in Erics arms; and it seemed like he felt he was safe in mine. When his hardness stroked against my belly, he let out a soft moan. I looked down, and wrapped my hand around him; gently stroking him up and down. One of Erics hands went down to my bottom, sliding between my cheeks; his long fingers finding my folds. Tightening my grasp on his cock, Erics moans became louder, and turned in to grunts of pleasure. He was stroking his fingers back and forth between my folds, but soon had to focus his attention on remaining standing; and put his hands against the wall instead. With one arm around his shoulders, I held myself standing on my toes, and plunged my tongue into Erics mouth; muffling his sounds as I pleasured him. I wanted to use both my hands on my lover, so got down on my soles again, and took a hold of his testicles. They immediately tightened in my cradling hand. “Liv… I’ll…”, Eric groaned. “I know. But I’m pretty sure you can go more than once”, I said, and dove in to rake my teeth over his nipple. Eric growled, and grabbed the back of my head, hungrily devouring my mouth in a kiss. While I massaged his balls, Eric began thrusting in to my hand. “Come on…”, I breathed and tightened my hold on his cock. “Min…”, he croaked, and thrusted harder. I stared deep into his eyes. “Yours”, I said; and at my words, Eric came with a roar.

I gently washed both our bellies from Erics juices, while he looked on with bemused eyes. His hand stroked against my hip, as I stepped out of the shower after having turned off the water. Snaking an arm around my waist, he bent down to give me a slight kiss; before a wicked expression came across his face. Before I knew it, I was across the hall, on my bed. Standing over me was a 6’4 blonde Viking-prince; who looked like he’d just stepped out of the ocean. I let out a noise, that sounded like something in between a giggle and a moan, as he stood there in all his glory. “You’re kind of magnificent…”, I said. “Yes”, Eric agreed, smug as ever. He knelt down on the bed, and crawled over me; kissing his way up my torso, until he reached my lips. “And you are… glänsande”. “I don’t know what that means, but I’ll… Oh, fuck!”.

Eric had plunged two fingers into me, and was thrusting them upwards; pressing against my g-spot. With a suckle of my lower lip, Eric took his leave from my mouth, and ducked down, to suck my clit into his mouth. Flicking his tongue over my pebble, it only took him minutes to have me unfurl. My legs were shaking, and I was whimpering in extasy. I arched my back, and came.

It took me a few moments to come down to earth; moments which Eric used to kiss his way up my convulsing body, while tracing the curves of my hips, belly and breasts with his fingertips. He was sporting a self-satisfied smile. “What are you so smug about, sheriff Northman?”, I chuckled. “You’ve had 1000 years to perfect that. Making me come is a walk in the park for you; not a battle you’ve won”. “I’ve won many battles. Making you scream out in pleasure is the one I’m most proud of”, he smirked. “I wasn’t screaming…”, I said, and stroked my fingers over his shoulders, and down his back. Eric pushed my legs further apart, and placed himself between them. “I’ll have to return to the battleground, then”, he said, and pushed into me.

We found our rhythm immediately, rolling our hips against each other. When I took a hold of Erics now beautifully tousled hair and pulled at it, he growled; and thrusted harder in to me. I sucked and nibbled at his neck, and when he threw his head back in pleasure, I kissed his adam’s apple; feeling it bob up and down under my lips, as he swallowed to wet his mouth. “Bite me…”, I breathed. “No… You lost too much blood last night”, he said. I frowned in disappointment. “Don’t worry, you’re still going to scream”, he smiled.

Leaning down to suck my nipple into his mouth, Eric then grabbed my thighs, and got up on his knees. As my butt was resting on his thighs, and my back was still on the mattress; my hips where tilted in just the right angle to feel every inch of his hardness moving in and out of me. Eric began moving with ferocious thrusts, hitting my front wall perfectly. He held on firmly to my hips, and looked down at himself disappearing and reappearing from my warmth; clearly enjoying the view, from the look of his face. I grabbed on to Erics wrists to ground myself, and not suddenly fly off the bed, both metaphorically and literally. Sounds of groans; moans; and skin slamming against skin, from Erics hips hitting my backside, filled the room – sounds that were almost hypnotizing to me, and drew me closer to my undoing.

I squeezed my eyes together to keep my composure from Erics delicious assault on me; trying to keep some kind of control of myself. “No, look at me”, Eric demanded. “Let it happen. Just let go, sunshine”. I opened my eyes, and looked up at him; and as he pulled almost all the way out, and slammed back in to me, Eric got exactly what he’d aimed for. I screamed out my orgasm. Eric was laughing warmly, and moved backwards on his knees; pulling out of me as he did. He leaned down, and kissed me passionately. “Another battle won”, he smiled. “Uh huh…”, I croaked; still panting.

I was still laying with my legs spread. My thighs were quivering, and I grabbed on to the sheets below, feeling aftershocks go through my core. Eric looked down at my clenching warmth, and stroked a hand up the inside of my leg. His index finger went in between my folds, making me jolt from overstimulation; and then down over my taint, before stopping at the tight ring of muscle at the bottom of it. “You know, I’d really like to…”, Eric began. I crawled backwards on the bed, and held up a finger to stop him. “Nope... no. I don’t think I’m quite there yet”, I said. “Believe me, it can be quite pleasurable”, he said matter-of-factly; and traced the puffy skin there. “Yeah, I’m sure you love it… But I haven’t tried it before”.

Eric removed his finger, and took my hand to pull me up to sit; giving me an earnest look. “I would never want hurt you. Not in any way that you wouldn’t want me to, at least. You seem to like it when I get a little rough”, he said smilingly, and stroked my cheek. “If you don’t want that, I won’t do it. I want you to trust me”. “I do…”, I said quietly. “And I do want to… yield to you”. I bit my lip, and blushed. Eric searched my eyes for something undefinable. “Turn around. All fours”, he said. A shiver ran down my spine. “Eric…”, I croaked. He raised his brows at me, and smiled calmingly. “I haven’t finished yet. I want to do that inside you”, he said. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to. You can ask me to stop at any time. Please trust me”.

I turned around, and got on all fours in front of Eric. He stroked my cheeks, before grabbing himself, to stroke against my folds for a few moments. When he entered me, I let out a pleased sigh. He felt so good from any angle; and I’d always enjoyed a good doggy-fuck. Erics movements were softer than they’d been before, and he was careful not to thrust too hard. One of his hands travelled down in front of me, stroking circles on my clit, while the other massaged my butt. As I was losing myself in sexual bliss, and fire began building inside me again, Eric moved his hand from my cheeks; and he let his thumb travel down between them. He found my ring again, and stroked it as he did my clit. The sensation was heaven. It wasn’t that no one had ever pleasured me by stroking that spot before; but the way Eric was doing it was simply masterful. He began pushing at my hole, never entering me, but still making my muscle work. It spread a tingle across my lower back, to go with the one streaming from my clit. Topping that of, was his hardness excavating me deliciously. It was so wrong that it was right.

“Fuck it… Do it!”, I rasped, earning a soft chuckle from Eric; before he pushed his thumb into my anus. I whimpered in pleasure, and fell down to my chest, unable to hold myself up. Eric fucked me with both his cock and his finger, and stroked my bundle of nerves; and the sensation of fullness inside me, made me begin to clench around him. I had tears in my eyes, and moved my butt back and forth to meet his thrusts. “So warm and tight. You feel so good”, Eric groaned. “Take me with you…”. Heat exploded from my core, and I pulled Eric along with me into extasy. I heard him cry out behind me, and spill himself inside my clenching heat. Gently pulling both his penis and his finger out of me, Eric lowered my hips to the bed. I was a whimpering mess, when he pulled me in to his arms. “You did so good, my sunshine… so good”, he breathed against my lips, as he kissed me.

I laid cradled against his body, our legs tangled and arms holding on to each other. “Eric…?”, I whispered. “Uh hmm…?”, he said, his eyes closed, and a pleased smile on his handsome face. “I’m hungry… I haven’t eaten since before I died”. He turned his head and looked at me. “I was going to let that photographer be your first meal”, he said. “Thanks… I guess”, I chuckled. “But I need human food”. He raised his brows and sighed. “Well, there’s been a cat wailing at your back door for the last 30 minutes. I could throw it in the microwave for you”.

I sat up abruptly. “Shit! It’s Thursday!”. I flew out of bed, and quickly put on a clean tank top, and a pair of pajama-shorts. Eric stared at me in confusion, as I ran out of the room. I grabbed a bowl, and a can of tuna; and went out the back door, to greet Mr. Whiskers. “I’m so sorry, honey! I completely forgot about you…”, I sighed, as the large tabby stroked himself against my legs. I set down the bowl of tuna at the bottom of the steps, and scratched the cat behind its ears.

Eric came outside to join me, once again dressed in his dirty clothes. He looked on as Mr. Whiskers bumped his forehead against my hand. “I don’t like that thing…”, he said, and stared at the cat with cold eyes. “Are you jealous of the cat now?”, I laughed. Eric sneered some Swedish curse word, and Mr. Whiskers hissed at him. “Oh, really? I’ll tell her you said that…”, Eric growled. “Eric, be nice to my honey!”. The vampire took my hand, pulling it away from the cat, and raised me to my feet. He tucked me in to his side. “Mine!”, he growled. “Don’t you have some beers to serve?”. I was completely confused, but decided to let it go.

Eric turned his face to me, and kissed me almost possessively. “I have to go see Godric”, he said. “Come to Fangtasia tomorrow”. “I have to go to work”, I said. Mr. Whiskers meowed. “Shut up!”, Eric snarled at it. “After work… I want to see you”. I tugged at his jacket. “I’ll be there. But I’m not waiting in line”. Eric pulled me in for another kiss. “Mine…”, he breathed. “Mine…”, I smiled.

Eric stepped away from me, and looked down at Mr. Whiskers with distaste again. The cat hissed one more time, and Eric hissed right back at it, before taking flight. I scratched Mr. Whiskers behind the ears a final time, and picked up the empty bowl; before going back inside – my heart full, but stomach less so.

I fell asleep while eating mac’n’cheese, and reading dirty texts from my favorite Viking-prince-vampire.

THE END.

[raisinchallah]

Ok a bit obsessed with the hunger idk if its my standards are on the floor cuz so many other gay vampire movies are so bad but it was genuinely super interesting and like the way it lingered on the horrible potential of like what if being a vampire meant u didnt truly live forever and at one moment would simply wither away also this one cut between moments was so interesting of like going from gay awakening/vampirism acquired to sitting down to a shitty meal with her boring boyfriend and she just cant eat the food and like i dont know why specifically but it really read to me as like idk when you realize what you really want and being unable to tolerate like boring heterosexuality anymore like the food isnt unbearble because you are a vampire and simply cant eat it but because u have finally realized what you truly want and its not another shitty conversation with a boring man!! i really am not articulating exactly the things that movie got me thinking but its also so funny apparently most people hate the ending i was mildly confused by it but seriously just assumed it was a reference to daughters of darkness cuz it has a nearly identical ending kill the ancient vampire and believe you are free but instead becoming her which i do think its very interesting to contemplate in general critical response to it ive read out of curiousity is soo funny to me cuz like within the realm of vampire movies it really is quite good and brings up a lot of very interesting things and also feels like the most comfortable of all the quote unquote lesbian vampire movies like with itself and the sexuality of the characters who all feel very clearly unquestionably bisexual which is very nice and also the way it kinda allows the characters to be truly bad and tragic people and confront aging and death in a really interesting way again a bit lost for words but im just sitting here thinking and find it so funny nobody is saying these things but i think im just brain poisoned from all the terrible gay vampire movies i have seen

[yakocchi]

The Bewitching Full Moon // Count

smh they’re never gonna release points-based event cards ever again are they guess I gotta make my own 5-min headers

This event is another one of those “His POV” events. I guess the reception on those has been very positive (which, good, bc I like them too) so they’re pushing them out more and more. They’ve also been pushing the envelope on these ooh lala so sexi ma gah stories with these scandalous avatars. yea sexy ok w/e but are they fashionable? idk abt that one chief... and according to the twitter surveys the community has been comparatively lukewarm too. I mean if they’re gonna make event avatars harder to get why are they getting uglier man

also holy crap the resulting doc for this thing got really long i hope tumblr doesn’t destroy me copypasta

edit: here comes me “slept on it” day after edit, fixed formatting issues and grammar errors that stuck out. if it made it even worse imma cry-

Spoilers under the cut! Please credit if you take any of it, thenk u (･ω･*) image-heavy!

Under the full moon, which shimmered with an ominous violet light - a single stagecoach wheeled through the city. (I wonder how many times it has been where I’ve left the manse like this with her.) I sneak a glance to my side, and gaze at Kara’s dress-clad form. (Dress, shoes, gloves, necklace, hair ornaments...) (I give you every single object, article to wear - and with that you are dyed in my color.) (I experienced that joy even before, but...) Now that we have become lovers, that joy is becoming more and more difficult to come by. (Whenever I look at you, there is this emotion - one that is difficult to put into words - that surges within me.) (Frankly, I try my best to simply suppress it.) (...Well, there is particularly something that is too much to entirely subdue.) I recall that sweet sensation of the very moment where I get to strip off the dress I give her– While deep in my thoughts, a smile cracks my features.

count: the joy from dressing her up is becoming rarer me: ? o whys that count: bc the horny supersedes it me: sir

[Kara]: “Count?” (Oops- if she learned of the things like the carnal passions I bear, she would surely grow disillusioned with me.) [Count]: “It’s nothing. You are just so stunning that a smile eased onto my face.” [Kara]: “D-Don’t play around, please…” As if to hide her face, she lightly puts her hands on her cheeks. She takes small breaths, apparently to temper her heart, before looking up again.

[Kara]: “Um… Tonight’s banquet is opening quite late, isn’t it?” The typical banquet opens its curtains at approximately sunset, where the usual routine is to have dinner together before taking pleasure in dancing and chitchat. However, the time now is already past 10. (Will this be your first time going to this type of evening gathering?) [Count]: “There are nobles who grow tired of the same old pattern of the typical party.” [Count]: “So occasionally, evening parties with fascinating themes appear.” [Kara]: “Fascinating themes’?” [Count]: “Costume parties, calling on an acrobat…” [Count]: “Which reminds me of this one gathering where all the lights of the mansion were to be off. It was quite the fascinating party, yes.” [Count]: “Well, now I’m wondering what tonight’s party will be like.” [Kara]: “Hehe, I’m looking forward to it.” (Whenever you so innocently accept the circumstances at hand like this– because it’s you, I get worried. But...)

With a hand I quietly turn her waist towards me, and bring my lips to her ear. [Count]: “I don’t mind if you enjoy yourself, but I would like if you could firmly avoid being careless.” [Count]: “As in these kinds of parties, the dangers lie hidden.” [Kara]: “What do you mean by ‘dangers’…?” She quietly stares at me, visibly failing to catch the meaning behind my words. [Count]: “In a space separated from everyday life, reason easily crumbles away.” [Count]: “And when instinct conquers reason, the floor changes into a hunting ground for love.” I smoothly stroke her back and hug her waist. [Kara]: “Coun-…“ [Count]: “I do not have even the slightest intention to present my adorable lover to such wolves.”

[Count]: “Because you only belong to me, after all.” [Kara]: “—Nn,” I wrap my arm around her body that had slightly jumped, and as if to engrave my touch I press my lips against hers. [Count]: “…So that you will absolutely not separate from me. Understood?” [Kara]: “…Under, stood…” [Count]: “—Good girl.” I narrow my eyes in satisfaction at her answer, and intertwine our hands against my knee.

(Back before we became lovers, I feel that I still had my wits about me.) (So it was quite unexpected of me to become brimming with emotion like this from simply spending time after time together.) (But, tonight… it has become more difficult than usual to tie down…) I shift my gaze to the window, and the moon that floats in the sky above radiates this violet. (—It couldn’t be… Well.)

When we step inside the noble’s mansion, a different world stretched before us. The saloon was colored a brilliant red, and several tables had been arranged in a line where aristocrats entertained themselves with card games and roulette.

[Count]: “So you’re surprised by the casino.” [Kara]: “Wow… I’ve seen Arthur and the others play these sort of games, but this is the first time I’ve ever set foot in a place like this.” [Kara]: “So there can even be things like casinos in the parties of nobles, huh?” [Count]: “In the beginning, gambling was an activity popular within the elite. So it has been as much as a long time for me too.”

“get it cuz im old as fuuuu”

Her eyes swelled of fresh expectations as she looks around the saloon. (We came here to enjoy ourselves, so yes, I would like you to have fun. To be honest, I would rather not teach you how to play the more dubious games, but…) (If it’s just something like cards, there shouldn’t be a problem.) While I survey the surroundings, right in the direction of the bar counter a voice calls out to me.

[Baron]: “Ah, the Count. It has been a while.” [Baroness]: “After this we’re playing a bit of poker, but would you like to join us?” I turn my eyes to see a baron who I was acquainted with and his wife beckoning me over. [Count]: “Kara, would you like to try?” [Kara]: “I only know the very basic rules, but I’ll try.” [Count]: “I’ll teach you, then.”

[Count]: “…And with that, I have shown you more or less the fundamental rules– but is there anything else that you may be confused about?” [Kara]: “I think I’ll be okay from here…!” [Count]: “Then, let’s put it into practice.” [Kara]: “Please go easy on me.” [Baron]: “Well, young miss, when it comes to winning or losing there’s no such thing as leniency.” [Baroness]: “Oh, you! You shouldn’t scare such an adorable little lady like that.” During our pleasant chatter, the cards are dealt before the four of us and we each check our individual hands. (A King, another King, a Three, a Seven, and a Jack… With only these, I can form One Pair with my Kings. A rather mediocre hand.) (Or, I could discard the other three cards and aim for a Three of a Kind?) (Well then. And Kara…?) While maintaining a poker face, I slide a glance and— [Kara]: “…” Within the tension her cheeks were slightly flushed red, and her mouth was shaped into a faint smile. (It appears that good cards have come to her.) (…But I probably should have also taught her the techniques of forming a poker face.) Though subtly smiling bitterly, I pleasantly watched my beloved to whom I shall compete with in her first poker game – She was fixated on the five cards in her hand before suddenly lifting her eyes. The moment our eyes met…—

(Huh…?) Almost in slow motion, my fingers move… [Count]: “—kgh,”

My fingers pick out the two Kings from my hand and throw them into the muck without a moment's hesitation. (Why, am I acting like…) (For a moment, it was almost as if someone had taken over my body—) Akin to a marionette, my actions had disregarded my own will. In my centuries of living, it was the first time I had ever experienced anything like that. (Just what on Earth was…) 

[Baroness]: “My, it’s rare for the Count to lose his poker face like that.” [Count]: “Perhaps it’s also all just an act?” [Baron]: “As you’d expect from the Count, you can’t underestimate him.” While playfully exchanging banter, my consciousness was once more preoccupied with some thorough reflection. What rose from my mind was the suspicious moon that had risen in the sky. (—The “purple moon”.) Much like tonight - once every several centuries, there is a night where moon gives off a violet light. (That moonlight sharpens the vampiric senses, and additionally…) (On the night of the shining purple moon, vampires cannot oppose their loved ones.) As for my loved ones, it is undeniably Kara. (In other words, tonight my body is – controlled by Kara.)

If this is the case, then it would explain the cryptic behavior from just a minute ago. (If I cannot go against her wishes…) (Right when I met her eyes, it is highly probable that she had wished to beat me.) I turn over the new cards that were dealt to me in exchange for my discarded ones. (An Eight, and a King.) (If I hadn’t thrown away those Kings, I would have formed a Three of a Kind...)

[Count]: “…It appears I’m out of luck.” I line up my random assortment of cards by suit and place them down on the table. [Baroness]: “Hehe, I have One Pair.” [Baron]: “I also have One Pair.” [Kara]: “I have a Three of a Kind.” She breaks into a cheerful smile and reveals her hand. [Count]: “It seems that Lady Luck is smiling upon you.” [Kara]: “Hehe… it seems like it.” From that carefree smile, a sweet feeling spreads within the depths of my heart.  (The real thrill of poker is supposed to be the psychological warfare, but) (When you are so innocently delighted I seem to forget all about that.) (This is not entirely the way I would have wanted it, but I got to see something lovely.)

And so, as the game continued— …In the end, I was unable to outplay her. [Baron]: “It surprised me to see the Count so clumsy at poker.” [Baron]: “Are you up for another round?” [Count]: “Please forgive me, but I cannot afford to display such an unsightly side of myself in front of my beloved anymore.” [Baroness]: “Miss Kara, I had fun with you tonight.” [Kara]: “Me too. Thank you for inviting me to play.” We leave the table, and I call on a waiter dressed in black to halt for me. [Count]: “May I have two glasses of champagne?” Receiving the pair of flutes, I hold out one of them to Kara. [Count]: “For your victory.”

[Count]: “So, for the occasion, shall we have a toast somewhere?” [Kara]: “Yes, of course… Um, where are we going?” [Count]: “How about someplace like the balcony?” [Count]: “With your first poker victory, it is a special night.” [Count]: “I want to have a quiet toast between just the two of us.” [Kara]: “O-Okay…”

Between the two of them, the honey-colored champagne sways in the glasses as if to mark the beginning of a sweet night…

Clinking our glasses, the champagne bubbles rise to the surface. [Count]: “Congratulations. Even to the end, I just couldn’t beat you.”

or rather “Congratulations - For I couldn’t win (over you) even at the end.” but that sounds kind of shady hm

[Kara]: “Thank you, but I definitely just got lucky there.” [Kara]: “I guess there really is such a thing as beginner’s luck, huh.” [Count]: “You say that, but you still seem rather happy about it?” I set my glass down and stroke her grinning cheeks with my fingertips to poke fun at them. [Count]: “Are you really that pleased about besting me?” [Kara]: “This is the first time I’ve ever won against the Count with something, so naturally I’m happy about it…”

lol i know they mean by “winning” in the general sense but i like to think they’ve played several types of games together and he just never lets her win

(You are truly not wearing a poker face of any kind right now.) (Even when you do try to hide it, it’s clearly apparent when you are thinking about something else.) [Count]: “But that’s not all, is it?” (I know that you wanted to beat me because the light of the purple moon had affected my body to do so.) (You so deeply wanted, from the bottom of your heart, to win - so I want to know the real reason behind it.) [Count]: “Come, truthfully confess to me.” [Kara]: “I can’t let anything slip past you, it seems…”

She’s at a bit of a loss for words before slowly looking up at me to possibly gauge my expression. [Kara]: “The truth is… back from when you kissed me in the carriage, I had been thinking about it.” [Count]: “That you wanted to beat me in something?” [Kara]: “Yes. At the time, while I was trying my hardest to calm my heartbeat…” [Kara]: “You, however, maintained your composed, collected face, right?” [Kara]: “That moment today wasn’t the only time it’s been like that; ever since we’ve become lovers, it has happened so many times that it’s impossible to count…” She tightly bites her lip. [Kara]: “I just can’t compete with someone like you.” [Kara]: “But then I thought with something like poker, I could perhaps win with luck on my side.”

[Kara]: “Since I’ve always been the one being toyed with…” [Kara]: “Tonight, I thought… that I wanted to see the Count’s– see Abel’s, restless face…”

At that moment, I realized the consequences I had wrought from my prying – but it was already too late. The instant she shot through me with those eyes blurred with shyness, I could hear the sound of my reason shattering into pieces…

[Count]: “kgh—” (—I cannot fight it.) (Kara, I want to… No, I need – to take you.)

So I changed this entirely bc there’s no English equivalent. The original line can be literally translated as “Kara, I want to take you… no, take you.” What he does is change the pronoun he uses for “you” (kimi → omae) to signal the change in the level of intimacy. With most people (mansion residents, people in general) the Count uses “kimi”. Though with those who know him at a closer level, like Leonardo and Vlad, he uses “omae”. (Mostly) men are only really supposed to use “omae” with people they’re close to or it comes off as rude. This is significant with the Count and MC’s relationship because he begins to refer to her as “omae” when they’re alone together (and thus wants to make a point about how personal it is) once they reciprocate their feelings in Chapter… 24(?). The writers are more than aware of this, because all of the Count’s His POV stories in his route are titled 「君○○」 “kimi ____” but the His POV titles for the Endings use “omae”.

[Kara]: “—gh, Abel…” When I strongly embrace her, from the corner of my eye I catch sight of the moon in its sheen of purple light. Paired with this boiling sensation in my blood, I once again realize the meaning of my existence. [Count]: “…As you desire, I shall become just a man for you.” [Kara]: “A, bel…? —Mn, nn…” I steal her lips, as if to take away all of her warmth. (Just simple touches are not enough.) I draw her head closer and entangle our tongues to steal those lips even deeper. (What’s this - it’s sweet… from the scent, the touch, and the taste…) However, my hunger was not sated even by this kiss. (More - I want to taste you, more…) I pull her waist towards me and capture her tongue that had attempted to escape in a fluster. Dominated by instinct, like a starved beast I devour her lips.

(…Seeking her in this way, in an unknown place where someone could come, what in God’s name is wrong with me?) The remains of my reason murmur from the edge of my mind. But, contrary to those feelings, there was a certain kind of a pleasure intoxicating my heart. (The sense of my reason being thrown aside… is this sweet, hm…?) My fingertips, in their longing for her, slowly ride up the hem of her dress.

sir this is a community balcony i’m gonna need you to take yourself out

[Kara]: “Ngh… A, bel…”

[Count]: “Whether to accept or refuse me, is up to you.”

PREMIUM ENDING

The “purple moon” sharpens the vampire’s senses, and additionally– a vampire’s body that basks in its moonlight shall be dominated by their loved ones. [Kara]: “Since I’m always the only one being toyed with…” [Kara]: “Tonight, I thought… that I wanted to see the Count’s– see Abel’s, restless face…” —A loved one’s wishes, for tonight, can be granted under this moon that emits this mysterious light. My fingertips, in their longing for her, slowly ride up the hem of her dress. [Kara]: “Ngh… A, bel…” [Count]: “Whether to accept or refuse me, is up to you.”

Releasing her lips from our deep kiss, I securely hug her from behind and place her hands against the balcony. [Kara]: “Abel, what are…?” The eyes that look over the shoulder quiver in confusion. (Right now, as instinct overwhelms me... I want to take you.) [Count]: “Show me that disheveled form of yours some more.” A hand glides upwards to approach her chest, and wraps around her breast through the silk of the fabric. [Kara]: “Nnn… Abel,” [Count]: “It’s all right. I shall hide you in a way that no else can see.” [Count]: “Even for myself, I do not intend to show that sweet expression of yours to other men.” [Kara]: “That’s not the…” Her eyes were widened, and moistened with shame. [Count]: “And just who was the one who said that they wanted to see my restless face?” [Kara]: “That’s...” The adorable figure of my beloved, trapped with lowered eyes, also makes a bewitching pleasure sharply simmer within me. (If I happened to look into a mirror right now… Without a doubt, I would see that the face I’m wearing is far from that of a gentleman.) [Count]: “I know that you also want to learn of these indecent pleasures, hm?” [Kara]: “I…—nn,” To cut off her words, I rub the peaks of her breasts against the silk with the pads of my fingers. [Kara]: “ah- Mn…” [Count]: “To the point where I can find that out immediately— harden them for me.” [Count]: “Not wanting to know this pleasure... you don’t seem that way at all, or am I mistaken?” (Because of the purple moon, I cannot go against her wishes tonight.) (If she truly didn’t want this, I wouldn’t be able to even lay a finger on her.) (Since I am able to touch her, this means—)

[Count]: “…You truly, want me to forcibly take you, don’t you?” Burying my face onto her nape I move my fingers to agitate her, her body trembling within me. Desperately biting her lip, she stifles her sweet voice. (Whatever it is that you are thinking, I will quite distinctly know what it is.) (Because the one controlling me, is you yourself…) I rub her with my fingers again, and she twists her back with a shudder. [Kara]: “Hah, ah…” [Count]: “It seems that you are feeling it more than usual.” [Count]: “To seek a thrill like this, what a bad girl you are.”

[Count]: “But, if you don’t keep that voice down, you will be heard, no?” [Kara]: “Ha, ah- But… I can’t… hold o-…” [Count]: “There’s no other choice, then.” The corners of my lips raise into an elegant smile before I lift her chin. [Count]: “I’ll stifle it for you.” [Kara]: “Mn, uhn…” Continuing to lovingly caress her breast in one hand I press my lips to hers, providing even more heat. A voice laced with temptation spills out from her wetted lips. [Kara]: “A…bel… if you do, any more than this, I…” [Count]: “Then if I do any more than this, what will happen?” [Kara]: “Don’t bully me…” Her lovely voice cries out between the light brushes of our lips, and my chest sweetly tightens from the sound. (This appetite will not be satisfied until I make her wholly mine.) [Count]: “Do you take me for a man who only teases and leaves you unfulfilled?”

[Count]: “I shall stain your entire body with pleasure.”

…In a certain room. I slip off my coats, vest, tie, and finally shirt to reveal my bare skin…While I fling them onto the sofa one by one, I lead Kara in the direction of the bed. (The part where I drive her to the corner like this… is exceptional tonight.)

[Kara]: “Ah…” Hitting the edge of the bed, she casts her eyes down as there is nowhere else to go. [Count]: “…Got you.” I capture her beloved body into my arm’s embrace, and slowly push her down onto the bed. [Count]: “In here, you can be as loud as you like.” [Kara]: “But… is it okay to use this room as you please…?” [Count]: “When we arrived tonight we had talked about the themes of evening parties, correct?” I move my hand from stroking her blooming cheeks to press a fingertip against her lips. [Count]: “For those who wish to indulge in something rather risqué for the night, they prepare rooms like this.” [Count]: “So I shall receive this room for use with my humble gratitude.” I unravel the ribbon on the back, and the silk dress almost seemed to glide off her shoulder as it fell down.

(I do like to beautifully dress you up – but stripping you down with my own two hands also sends my heart racing.) [Kara]: “gh…” I seize her hands that were about to cover her chest and pin them to the sheets. [Count]: “Without hiding anything, show yourself to me.” Her exposed skin became shamefully dyed with the hue of roses before my very eyes. This color, teeming with vitality, made my vampiric instincts ache painfully.

[Kara]: “n-no… It’s embarrassing…” [Count]: “Then, if I stop looking… I shall have a taste instead.” I meet her breasts and crawl the tip of my tongue along the peak. [Kara]: “Ah, aah… Abel… Mn,” She pushes against my chest in light resistance. But before long her resistance had ceased, and gradually changed to that of her disheveled sighs and sweet gasps. [Count]: “It seems that you’ve become quite honest with yourself.” [Kara]: “To be loved like this – I have no choice but to be honest, right…?” [Kara]: “As tonight will be the only time I’ll get to know of your ferocious emotions…”

My mind is suddenly drawn to her wording. (Does she know about the purple moon…?) But I cannot imagine that she would know about something like a rare phenomenon that occurs only once every several centuries. I stare at her as if to look into her heart, and our eyes meet.

[Kara]: “More… Please, lose yourself to me, more…” (If she does know about the purple moon, and thus is purposefully provoking me, then…) [Count]: “What a naughty girl. Do you want to ruin my composure that badly?” [Kara]: “Yes…” The Count’s body is completely, sweetly steeped in her words, and as if it were alcohol his reason gradually dissolved. (Right now, even the words that I always shower her with will not come out.) For his heart was dominated only by the instinct of a vampire, and only by the instinct to love her as a man. [Count]: “I want to cast away my morality and reason, and just love you.”

FIN

this guy…………is a lot. i thought maybe everyone would be like this for the event but no, leo only gets weird bc essentially his mc was dumb enough to try to pick up broken shards of glass with her bare hands (im not trying to shame her… but i am) and then it’s not really isaac’s fault when he already has the worst bloodthirst out of all of them so sir step into the paddy wagon, the horni police will question u shortly

anyway tl;dr the sweet ending has the mc reveal to him early that she knew what the purple moon does to vampires in terms of the heightened vampire senses and crud but not the obedience to loved ones so he tells her blah blah romanceu talk but he still wants to bone and so they go home to do it instead. 

Make sure to purchase the Epilogue when you have the chance! It’s good stuff ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So, thanks for reading! (`･ω･´) Sorry if it’s hard to parse through. there’s a reason why editing is a job people get paid for orz

[writingwife-83]

Sooo anyone remember a little one shot I wrote called Green? Well 3 months later and I finally decided to write part 2! 😄 thanks for reading it over @thisisartbylexie ❤️

Ben turned his dishwasher on, poured himself a glass of water, and shut the kitchen light off with a little sigh. It had been a long Friday, and frankly a long week, so it was definitely time to turn in for the night. He was looking forward to a restful and uneventful weekend until Monday morning rolled around again.

As he left his kitchen and shuffled toward his bedroom though, he heard something coming from outside. The moment he began following the noises toward his balcony, it became clear there were definitely voices. He grimaced in confusion as he drank some of the cool water, trying to figure out exactly what he was hearing.

The moment he opened his balcony door, he realized that was definitely Rey’s voice he could hear above. She had to have her balcony door open as well because it was pretty loud.

“No no!” she yelled. “Don’t!”

Ben heard a man's voice yelling as well.

“Oh you’d better get out of my way or I’m moving you myself!”

Rey screamed and that’s when Ben's blood ran cold. Something was happening up there and it definitely wasn’t good. He set his glass down and stepped out onto the balcony, peering upward where he could see light coming from Rey’s apartment.

“Hello?” Ben called. “Hey, Rey, you ok up there?”

Rey screamed again. “Ugh! I hate you!”

”You’re not getting away this time!” the man yelled.

That’s when Ben heard a loud crash like something had fallen and broken. Adrenaline instantly flooded his body, head to toe. He threw sneakers on and grabbed his phone and keys, shoving them in his pocket, and hurried out of his apartment.

He flew up to the next floor, climbing about three steps at a time, and raced down the hallway until he was at her apartment. Ben immediately began pounding on the door.

“Rey?! Rey!” He paused only a split second before knocking again with full force. “If someone doesn’t open this door in about ten seconds I’m breaking it down, you hear me?!”

After slamming his fist against the door a few more times, Ben backed up, taking a few deep breaths and preparing to use every muscle in his body to get into that apartment. Just before he was about to charge though, the door swung open and he found himself face to face with Rey, who thankfully looked perfectly safe and sound. Ben released a breath of relief, perching his hands on his hips.

“Oh, thank God, I’m glad you’re-“

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Ben stared back at her, a little confused at the biting response.

“I just- I heard loud voices and-“

“Ok so first it’s my plants that are aggressively dripping onto your balcony that makes you nearly break my door down, and now it’s noise?”

A man stepped into the doorway next to Rey.

“Rey, what’s going on?” He scowled at Ben, crossing his arms. “Who is this guy? Is he bothering you?”

Ben felt his shackles rising again.

“Am I bothering her?” He huffed. “I think the better question is if you’re bothering her!”

The man’s brows shot up and he took a step forward. “Excuse me?!”

Rey shoved herself in front of the man, putting her palms up in protest.

“Hold on, hold on!” She turned to face Ben again. “Look, I dunno what your problem is but I think you’d better go.”

“I’m not leaving until I’m sure things are safe up here,” Ben insisted, standing his ground and giving the man behind her a hard stare.

Rey grimaced. “Safe? Why wouldn’t things be safe?”

Ben pointed toward Rey’s balcony. “Your door was open. It’s past midnight, I could hear you guys screaming at each other from all the way downstairs, and it was pretty obvious things were getting physical, so I don’t really like the idea of going back downstairs and leaving you alone with him still-“

He stopped short when he realized that both Rey and this man had started...laughing? Ben had a difficult time seeing what could be funny and at this point he was just getting annoyed.

“I’m so sorry,” Rey sputtered out. “We were playing a video game! That’s what you heard!”

Ben froze for a moment, embarrassment slowly starting to creep in as the weight of that statement sunk in.

“Oh...my God,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “I- I went on my balcony and called up to see if you were ok and you didn’t answer.”

“Headphones,” the man replied simply, pointing to the coffee table where two sets of headphones lay.

“Right.” Ben nodded sheepishly. “Headphones.”

“We finally paused the game cuz I knocked my lamp over and broke it, like an idiot,” Rey explained with a laugh. “That’s when I heard you practically knocking a hole through my door.”

“Thankfully you caught me before I broke it down.”

The man laughed.

“You kinda look like you could break it down. I’m glad I didn’t have to try and fight you because I feel like that wouldn’t have gone well for me.” He offered his hand. “Hey, I’m Finn.”

Ben gave him a small smile and accepted the hand shake. “Ben. Good to meet you.”

A door opened across the hall, catching their attention.

“What exactly is going on out here at this time of night?” an older woman asked sternly.

“Sorry, Maz! Just a little misunderstanding but it’s all cleared up,” Rey replied kindly. “We’ll keep it down now, I promise.”

She shoved Finn back into the apartment, and before Ben knew what was happening he felt Rey take hold of his tee shirt and tug him inside as well, shutting the door after them.

“Oh you don’t have to- I mean, I can just go back downstairs now that I know everything’s fine,” Ben offered, now definitely feeling like he was imposing.

He hated to admit it, but more than likely this was Rey’s boyfriend, so what were the chances they wanted anyone else hanging out with them after midnight?

Rey shrugged as she opened her fridge. “I know it’s late, so you don’t have to stay if you don’t want, but we’re happy to have you. Right, Finn?”

“Absolutely,” Finn agreed, and seemed to mean it.

“Besides, I just wanted to clear out of the hallway before Maz calls anyone. She’s sweet but you don’t want to be on her bad side.” Rey pried the top off a bottle she’d just taken out of the fridge and held it out to Ben with a smile. “Beer?”

Ben held her gaze for another second of deliberation, then finally reached out and took the bottle, his fingers brushing over Rey’s as he did. The amount of pleasant electricity he felt from the first touch of her skin against his made him hope he wasn’t visibly blushing. Especially with her boyfriend standing right there watching!

“Thanks,” Ben said quietly and took a swig. “I guess I’ll stay for a few minutes.”

A few minutes turned into more than an hour.

Ben tried his best to fend them off, but a few minutes after they’d all sat down Rey and Finn insisted he play the video game as well. It wasn’t really his thing but when Rey actually took his hand and placed the controller in it, he found himself unable to keep saying no. Despite himself, he had a pretty fantastic time. Maybe this was a better antidote to his long week at work than turning in early.

“I taught her everything she knows,” Finn boasted playfully as Ben set the controller down after being heated by Rey.

“Don’t listen to him! He barely ever beats me.” Rey gave Finn a little shove then smiled at Ben. “I guess we’ve always been a little competitive.”

Ben glanced between the two of them in curiosity. “Always?”

Rey took a sip of her beer, nodding. “We’ve known each other since we were kids. We were in the same foster home for a couple of years and we’ve kept in touch ever since.”

“Yeah, she’s the annoying sister I never had,” Finn added, which earned him another shove.

Ben nodded, intense relief washing over him as he realized that these two had a very different relationship than he initially assumed.

“So…” Finn spoke up again. “You are the guy who freaked out over the dripping plants right?”

“Finn!” Rey hissed, covering her face as she stifled a laugh.

Ben chuckled, shrugging one shoulder in resignation. “Yep, that’s me.”

“I’ve been a little more careful lately,” Rey said with a little smile. “Trying to water them late at night when you probably wouldn’t be out there. It’s not that I didn’t care at all, it was just…”

“I was a jerk.”

“Yeah, basically,” Rey confirmed, and they both laughed a little.

“Trust me, I’ve told her it’s a little bit of an addiction,” Finn interjected. “As you can see, there’s an entire collection of plants inside too!”

Ben glanced around. “I definitely can see that.”

“You two can laugh all you want, but I’m willing to bet that the air is way cleaner in my apartment than yours is,” Rey shot back playfully. “Don’t come crying to me when the city air is choking you!”

As quiet set in again, Ben found that Rey’s eyes had settled on him and he also realized he was having trouble looking away. But as much as he was enjoying this, he was still self conscious enough that he didn’t want to overstay his welcome.

“Well, thanks for the beer. And the game,” Ben said, taking his empty bottle and standing. “I should probably head back downstairs.”

Finn stood as well, stretching a little. “Yeah, I should go too. I’ll save Rey the trouble of kicking me out like usual.”

Ben put his bottle in the recycling and made his way to the door along with Finn and Rey. He watched awkwardly as the two of them embraced warmly and Rey gave Finn a kiss on the cheek.

“I’ll text you later ok?”

“Sounds good. Hey, nice to meet you Ben.”

Ben gave him a little nod. “You too.”

Ben stepped into the hallway along with Finn, but he hung back a little as Finn continued walking.

“Sorry about the aggressive entrance...again,” Ben said once they were alone.

Rey smiled. “It’s ok. At least this time you have a more noble excuse. Thanks, by the way.”

Ben shrugged. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Yeah but you would have. You were ready to break down my door because you thought someone was hurting me. I’d say that’s pretty nice.”

He gave her a little smirk. “Well naturally I was pretty concerned for all the plants. I mean, where would they be if something happened to you?”

She laughed, leaning on her door frame. “Now that I know you care so much I’m definitely leaving them all to you in my will.”

Silence set in again and Ben decided he was really going to make himself leave this time.

“Ok, well, thanks again. Maybe I’ll see you around.”

“What about tomorrow?”

Ben blinked, taken aback for a moment. “Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, maybe you want to come back upstairs for a movie and some pizza tomorrow night.”

He pressed his lips together, hesitating a bit. “If you guys already have plans I don’t want to keep intruding.”

Rey’s eyes suddenly seemed to be sparkling and she gave him a gentle smile. “Actually...I just meant with me.”

Oh, just her.

Oh.

Ben swallowed hard, trying to remember how to form words as the nature of this invitation was becoming clearer.

“Sure, I’d like that,” he somehow managed.

The grin she gave him was more beautiful than anything he’d seen in a long time.

“Ok great. Oh!” She reached out. “Hey, can I see your phone?”

Ben fished it out of his pocket, unlocked it and handed it over. He was a little rusty so it took him a moment to realize what she was doing as he watched her typing.

“There,” Rey said with a smile, finally handing his phone back as he heard a little ding inside her apartment. She pointed behind her. “That was you texting me. And now you have my number.”

Ben glanced down at the message screen, instantly letting out a short laugh.

-THANKS FOR INVITING ME OVER TOMORROW NIGHT SO I DON’T HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING FOR REASONS TO BREAK YOUR DOOR DOWN :)

And just like that, Ben was no longer hoping for a quiet and uneventful weekend.

[lovepmd]

Forgiveness AU: “The Truth”

They finally reached it, the very bottom of the cave that was said to be the birthplace of the evil that would sprout forth soon.

A pikachu slowly walked towards the center of the room, where a small altar stood. A simple stone pillar with a jewel on top that looked like an eye. It stared blankly at the pokemon in the room.

Memories recovered; 100%, scanning details.

“Angela?” A dustox fluttered nervously nearby.

The pikachu turned her head around to look at her partner. She understood why he was nervous, anyone would be in this situation. They didn’t know what exactly to expect to happen with this jewel, they were only warned that a great evil would come from it and destroy the entire world.

She smiled at him. “It’s ok, Florian. This is why I’m here, remember?”

Florian chittered nervously, but nodded.

Angela looked back at the jewel and stared at it. For what felt like ages, there was silence. The jewel simply stared back at her. 

Memories recovered; 100%. Details found.

But then something fluttered within it and she gasped.

As quick as a blink of an eye, darkness sprouted forth from the jewel, covering the entire cave. Tendrils seeped out of the darkness, and wrapped around the dustox, pulling him towards the wall and pinning him against it. Florian yelled and tried to break free, but his struggles were in vain.

The pikachu was still standing there, now wide eyed staring at a giant eye looking down at her. The darkness was slowly seeping out from it, wisps of it flowing through the air. The only light in the cave now was coming from the giant eye.

“Angela!” Florian shouted, desperately fluttering his wings.

Angela was frozen in place, unable to move as the eye stared at her. Then a low voice came from the shadows, echoing through the cave.

“A human...Yours is a precious soul...different from those around you in this world...We are curious...what is it that a small soul like you seeks?”

The pikachu was unable to speak, but there was no need to.

“I don’t care.”

A different voice began echoing throughout the cave, and it sounded just like Angela’s.

“Why should I care about this? This isn’t my world, I just wanted to go home. I don’t care. I didn’t care much for pokemon in my own world, why would I care about the ones here? I don’t care. I don’t care.”

The last words echoed loudly within the cave several times before going silent.

Florian stared at the back of his partner. “....Angela? That’s not true, right? You said you’d do this, you said you would save us!” His voice shook with confusion and sadness.

“Human...Your precious little soul...It will feed us...Make your wish...And we will act...”

Angela finally blinked a few times and breathed heavily for a minute. She looked back up at the eye.

“...I was brought into this world to save it,” she muttered. “I don’t know how, but I was supposed to stop you. Arceus said that I was the key.”

Angela chuckled, looking down at the ground. “Why? Why would I be chosen? I never understood that. What am I supposed to do? Wish for ‘world peace’?” She laughed. “Like that would work! I could wish for ‘take away all the bad pokemon, all the ones that have or will do bad things’, but that’s not a good wish, is it? Every pokemon is capable of doing something bad, no matter how small.”

Florian stared at her in shock and his whole body shook. “Angela...what about us? What about all we went through to get here? All the pokemon we met and helped along the way? What about me?”

The pikachu sighed, turning back towards her partner and looking at him sadly. “I’m sorry, Florian. I never meant to drag you into this, and I never wanted to hurt you. You and those other pokemon...you do deserve to be spared.” She smiled, but her eyes still held sadness. “But that isn’t how this works, is it? It’s not that simple. Sometimes...what’s needed for the world is a good, fair cleansing.”

Florian’s eyes widened. “W-what do you mean?”

Angela turned her body so she was fully facing away from the eye. “No one is spared. You heard me before. I don’t care. Goodbye, Florian. I will miss you.”

“Angela!!” Florian’s wings fluttered wildly and he broke free of the tendrils’ grasp, but it was too late.

The eye grew bigger and then disappeared, engulfing the whole cave in darkness.

-

Scanning.....Scanning....Connection found.

Arceus stood on a summit, his eyes watching the mountain in the distance where the two disappeared to. A joltik was next to him, skittering back and forth nervously.

Suddenly, the entire mountain Arceus was watching exploded, and huge tendrils of shadows began spilling out. Joltik jumped and quickly clinged onto his leg. She looked over in horror as the shadows began to spread into the forest nearby, and they could hear the distant screams of pokemon. A few flying pokemon appeared above the trees, but the tendrils reached up and snatched them out of the air, dragging them into the darkness.

“W-what’s happening?! What happened? Where are they?!” The joltik squeaked, shaking at the sight.

“They failed.” Arceus said simply. “Now the whole world will fall.”

“W-what?!”

“Hold onto me, child. There is nothing we can do but wait.”

The joltik shook and closed her eyes tightly, tears spilling out. “N-no...”

Arceus watched as the darkness spilled out further, consuming everything in it’s path. As it began to creep closer to where they were, he noticed a small, distant light.

In the middle of the darkness, something shined. It slowly grew brighter and brighter, and then grew bigger. Small wisps of light began to come out of it, spreading across the darkness and snuffing out the tendrils one by one. Some of the wisps clashed with the darkness, but eventually won the battle and spread further.

Joltik opened her eyes and stared at the light that was overcoming the spreading darkness. “What is that...?”

“A pure soul.” Arceus explained. “We looked in the wrong place, there was one with us all along.”

Finally the light overtook enough of the darkness, and the center of it all shone brightly as the sun. It consumed the remaining darkness, and then it shrunk in size, becoming a small ball of light. It slowly rose into the sky.

“Where is it going?” Joltik jumped down to the ground and watched the light as it soared higher into the sky.

“To rest.” Arceus took a step back. “But he will come again if we need him.”

“Him?” Joltik tilted her head and then gasped, looking up at Arceus. “Wait, is that Florian?!”

“She was the key, but he was the true soul we needed.” Arceus turned and began to walk away. “Go back home, little one. The world itself will need time to rest.”

--

AN: SO, i thought long and fucking hard figuring out what it was exactly in this AU that would destroy a good portion of the world. most of my original ideas didn’t make sense/work out, since there’s so many legendaries and they eventually cancel each other out. so then i thought, “what about an actual lovecraftian-like horror just consuming everything?” so that’s what i went with kdjfg

it may not seem like it from this writing cuz it sucks, but the darkness did take out a LOT of pokemon, not quite exactly half of the population, but close. this happened on a continent where a lot of the population lived, so....yeah

feel free to ask for more background info cuz i do have some other stuff, might just make a separate post for it eventually anyway

i just wanted to write this part out dkjfgd

[acutest-angle]

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69&70

so i reblogged this post and i foolishly thought to myself nobody is gonna send me in all of them there are in fact 170 and thats simply just too many

Boy was I Wrong

ALRIGHT SO PART 1 (1-70)

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

I wish i was about 5′5″ or 5′6″

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

You know what i freakin love birds and ferrets but tbh i think that cats are the bestest

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

cute comfort ig??? like shorts (or ripped jeans if its too cold for shorts) and a hoodie with converse or keds

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

when i was little it was we heart katamari and the 2 person game cookies and cream (both on ps2) and then when i was in middle school it was skyrim (which it still is to this day 

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

1. my wonderful and lovely roommate cuz i see her everyday; 2. my cat because GOD I LOVE THAT ONE; 3. my husband because i text him daily and he gets mad when i wear his clothes (@ oobmoobx if you dont want me to wear ur clothes fucking take them home asshat)

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

unable to hold a good conversation without making it all about herself and needs constant reassurance that she isnt annoying and that you dont hate her. befriend at your own risk.

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?

You didn’t insert a thing so imma say my opinion on this: while i love it, i hate it a lot

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

Choleric

9: Are you ticklish?

YOULL NEVER KNOW

10: Are you allergic to anything?

lol yea but itll make me sound like a trendy bitch to tell u what

11: What’s your sexuality?

giggity gay boys

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

im a tea kinda gal

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

cat person omg

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

oh this is such a good question. personally i would want to be an elf because i think they have amazing amount of magic and are able to get into the fae realm and i think that would be really neat.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

currently? not really. i watch several various youtubers and just random videos too. it used to be rt/ah/fh but i dont really watch them anymore

16: How tall are you?

5′8″ish

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

i actually quite like my name a lot. but if i was forced to change it like at gun point or for witness protection or something i would choose either Piper or Elise

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

i think like 180 or 185 (lmaoooo)

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

no not really (its funny cuz im actually watching buzzfeed unsolved rn)

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

they are both such vast unexplored masses that we know so little about. in our oceans lay so many interesting earthly creatures and untouched crannies. in space lay quite possibly the most interesting combinations of and matter and the edge of our universe is out there too. 

ok final answer: space

21: Are you religious?

nope

22: Pet peeves?

so ik i have like 1 or 2 but i like to think of myself as a rather chill person (v opinionated but chill) so idk off the top of my head

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

diurnal because i would miss the sun

24: Favorite constellation?

idk i can always find the big dipper tho

25: Favorite star?

the sun (hehe)

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

what the SHIT is a ball-jointed doll

27: Any phobias or fears?

arachnids (spiders, ticks, and mites)

28: Do you think global warming is real?

fuck yes i do and boy golly gee wiz am i excited that the world is gonna end in my life time

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

im not entirely sure what i believe so lets just say that i dont NOT believe in it

30: Favorite movie?

Rent

31: Do you get scared easily?

no not really im PRETTY TOUGH

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

oh jesus ok lets go through them shall we

cats: firework (dead), chauncy (dead), purrkins (living with my parents), fucking i forgot this ones name (dead), burg (dead), fred (living within my parents), whiskers (dead we think), ruby (shes my baby uwu)

dogs: this one that we had to give away when i was like 3 (idk), carly (also idk), sally (who knows), goofy (living with my parents), dede (dead), daisy (dead), lucie (she works on a ACTUAL REAL [SHE IS ALIVE] bull farm now because we didn’t have the outside space for her to thrive)

Others: 3 hermit crabs (all dead), two rats (briefly housed to be used in a laboratory before they were given to the university i miss them dearly)

Grand Total: 20ish

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

all anons are fantastic (but i feel like this is possibly @dibidibidismol​ ?? whos blog is 12/10)

34: What is a color that calms you?

grey

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

i would like to travel to every country tbh like i wanna have a story from every country

i would love to live and practice in spain or south america (haha but i dont know fluent spanish) and if i cannot then like the pacific northwest or australia (god can we all just a moment to think about how much WORK it is to work as an MD in a country other than that which you obtained your degree oof) 

36: Where were you born?

Kansas City, MO

37: What is your eye color?

Blue Babey

38: Introvert or extrovert?

ambivert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

i think theyre fun and quirky but not like Real

40: Hugs or kisses?

depends on whos giving them ;)

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

kai :( @studiomayaz come hooooome :(((((

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

my mom, oobmoobx, and kai (come home) :((((

43: Any piercings you want?

i think piercings would be neat but i dont wear piercings soooooo

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

oh bro i love them so much

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so?

tobacco: no

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

aint got one (at least not that i have admitted to myself that is)

47: What is a sound you really hate?

the sound of a pressure cooker depressurizing

48: A sound you really love?

an upright bass

49: Can you do a backflip?

yeah if i wanted to break my neck, killing me immediately

50: Can you do the splits?

bruh like almost

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

Liv Hewson

52: Favorite movie?

isnt this quite literally questions 30

ok to keep it consistent: Rent

53: How are you feeling right now?

Stressed to no end :DD

but also like p chill actually

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

its actually purple in this moment but i kinda wanna bleach it silver

55: When did you feel happiest?

when im hanging out chillin with the giggity gang

56: Something that calms you down?

music and meditation

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

ADHD and terminal dumb bitch syndrome

58: What does your URL mean?

im means im the cutest fucking angle u ever saw

59: What three words describe you the most?

dumb, gay, dedicated

60: Do you believe in evolution?

As A Doctor I Sure Hope Fucking So

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

if i like dont recognize them

62: What makes you follow a blog?

if i like what they post

63: Favorite kind of person:

genuine and also infected with terminal dumb bitch syndrome

64: Favorite animal(s):

FERRETS AND BIRDS

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

@studiomayaz @if-i-had-a-castle and @thatnormalcrazygirl

however i have many many beloved mutuals these are just three people that i talk to on the reg

66: Favorite emoticon:

🤷‍♀️

67: Favorite meme:

bruh idk homie i love them all

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

ENFP

69: What is your star sign?

Aquarius

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

lol no

[alitoowell]

One year—365 days—and still I cannot find the words to do justice to the magnitude of gratitude that I feel, and will forever feel, for the magic that was October 22, 2017.  It’s funny because meeting Taylor was always in my mind as a possibility.  In that people DO meet her, so it’s possible.  But I always viewed it as possible, yet unachievable.  People would meet her, but they wouldn’t be ME.  Simply because the odds were too great of being noticed or picked from a crowd.  So I never planned out how it would go, or where, or what I would say, which left me even more absolutely floored when it happened.  Even a year later my brain cannot quite wrap around the fact that the woman who I’ve looked up to since I was 15, who’s music has been the soundtrack to my life for an entire decade, had me over at her house?  I got to hug her?  Dance with her?  And listen to her entire unreleased album and the stories behind it?  That seems unbelievable.  And it will always seem unbelievable because people. don’t. do. that.  But Taylor does.  My friends have been encouraging me for a whole year straight to type everything out, and I never quite got there.  The task seemed too great, I didn’t know where to start, or what words to choose to capture those memories adequately.  In one of those moments of frustration I realized I actually already had written nearly everything—in the no less than 63 messages I sent to my best friend Shaina less than 24 hours later on October 23, 2017.  Though it’s jumbled and not perfect in any way and contains the misspellings and keyboard smashes and all, here’s my Taylor story, a year later, as told the day after it happened—in message form.

~

I MET TAYLOR SWIFT SHDJEKJDKROF

I CANNOT BELIEVE MY LIFE

I HAVEN’T CRIED YET BUT ITS 4 AM AND I THINK ITS FINALLY HITTINGME

photo of wristband

SHE FUCKING DANCED WITH ME DURING LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO LIKE GRABBED MY HAND AND JAMMED WITH ME AS I WAS SHOUTING THE LYRICS GOODBYEEEEEEE

photo of merch

GOODBYEEEEEEEEE

Shaina: You’re lying

IM NOY IM NOT OH MY FOD OH MY FREAKINF GOD

PARKER THOUGHT I WAS DRUNK OF SOMETHING CUZ I WAS SHOUTING VIA TEXT ASKING IF HE WAS UP HOLT SHIT

Shaina: Ok. Spill. I’m shook.

Okay okay so I’m literally about ready to pass out I haven’t slept well since finding out last week and legit got two hours of afterwards last night, well this morning ahhh

And about to board my flight but I’ll try to type quick

So basically her team DMed me last Tuesday saying they’ve noticed what an amazing fan I am and asked for my information

And people have been making fake TN accounts and sending fake messages to be awful, and I thought it was fake because I never expected to ever be contacted

So I’m like in the gym parking lot thank god I didn’t see it while I was still at work

And I realize it has a blue verified check and that it’s legitimate and the last questions was have you ever met Taylor and I LOSE MY SHIT IM IN HYSTERICS IN THE CAR AND CALL MY MOM AND SHE THINKS I GOT IN AN ACCIDENT

So basically I’m a freaking ass mess because I’m 99% it’s for a secret session since at that point one had happened and we all assumed that there would be more cities, and I was almost positive they would NOT send that message to someone and not follow through and call and tell them SOMETHING

So I can’t sleep I leave my phone on cuz I don’t want to miss a call

It of course doesn’t come til the next day while I’m AT WORK

And they freaking ass knew my twitter and tumblr and asked for all my socials and I now know the people I talked to weren’t asked that so that’s weirddddd

Anyway so sure as hell it’s a ‘very special event’ and it’s all too secret and I can’t tell anyone except a parent for safety

And once I confirm I can get myself to LA she gives some instructions and said final details will be emailed  

And so that was Wednesday and I’m crying at work and their dinner was late lol

And I called my mom and was like this weekend Sunday book flights nowwwww

And then the quick version is for the next two days I was practically puking every day so nervous and the email wasn’t coming and I was like shitttttt

So finally on Friday I straight up call Taylor Nation back and get straight through and say my name and she’s like what’s up?! And she says they’re coming out later that day

And so I flew down Saturday and I rented my very first car and took my first legit solo trip in the name of Taylor freaking swift honestly I’m not surprised

And bless Briana’s fam’s heart they were out of town but let me stay in their guest apartment while they were away with no explanation so that was very nice and less stress for me

And then I had to sit from 3:30 Saturday until 5:15 Sunday in LA by myself unable to tell anyone and it was wilddddddd

Like I was like sweeeeeet I can get caught up in my journal!!!  Noooo I deadass sat there and felt like I was dying and about threw up hourly like how the freaking hell do you just casually chill when you know your damn outlandish never thought it would occur dream is about to happen and not only that but like on a times 100 scale?!?!

So basically I went to her damn house and we hung out by the pool and ate food and the weirdest part is I’ve been unable to eat and have been panicking all week but the second I got to the first check point and to her house even more I was just like chillllll like ayeeeee this is gonna be fun omg I’m so hungry and let’s eat all this food

And so basically it’s a listening session for the new album and we obviously can’t say anything about it or what she said about it besides like probs that it’s AWESOME OUTSTANDING IS GONNA SLAY THE WORLD AND SHES SO LROUD OF IT AND MY BABY DID THAT AND IM REAL PROUD

Okay okay but she like explained each song in-depth and was the cutest cupcake singing along fully jamming to everything and like looking at everyone the entire time and locking eyes as she’s singing ya feel

My flight is about to leave but I will continue later!!!!!

Shaina: This is insane I can’t believe it I’m beyond stoked for you safe travels and talk soon

Okay we not leaving quite yet sooooo I’m missing parts. So we are told we’re gonna go inside and sit down and I book it fast to get a spot on the ground like only two people sitting in front of me and there’s a red plush chair not even 10 feet away that she’ll obviously be sitting in and we’re all like sjedjekkdir

And I was wondering who all I would know there right!?? And was bummed there’s one girl I talk to frequently who loves Shawn Mendes and we know each other cuz she saw my Shawn poster on twitter and she’s from LA but I hadn’t seen her

And then someone pokes me and is like ALIIIIIIII AND ITS HER AND WE FLIP AND SXREAM SO LOUD THE WHOLE ROOM THOUGHT IT WAS TAY AND WAS PISSSSSSED AND SHUSHING US AND SOMEONES LIKE THEY KNOW EACH OTHER!!!!! HAHAHAHA

Shaina: This just keeps getting better and better. How did you keep this a secret?!?!?!?

Shaina: How many people were there

AND SO ANYWAY WE ALL THOUGHT TAYLOR WAS GONNA COME IN FROM THE FRONT AND SIT RIGHT DOWN??? AND ON THE BUS SOMEONE WAS LIKE YOOOOO WHAT IF SINCE TONIGHT IT’S IN LA SHE BRINGS FRIENDS????? AND SO SHE OF COURSE INSTEAD COMES FROM THE BACL AND THE DAMN ROOM EXPLODES AND SHE LOOKS LIKE A DAMN GODWESS AND SHE’S LIKE HIIIIIIIII AND GRINNING AND ALSO COMES IN JACK ANTANOF (SPELLING IDK IM CURRENTLY OFFLINE SO I CANT CHECK), TWO OF THE HAIM GIRLS, AND RUBY ROSE AND THE ROOM IS LIKE SHATTERING

AND SO SINCE SHE IN THE BACK SHE STARTS MAKING HER WAY THROUGHHHHHH US AND IS GRABBING PEOPLE AND PEOPLE ARE STANDING UP AND HUGGING HER AND HOLY CRAP

Okay lololol shoot I just woke up and didn’t realize the rest of this story was notttt in constant caps like I’ve been using all day my bad my bad

And so she’s playing the songs in order off the album and I think it’s okay to say that her and jack are losing their minds because they’ve never gotten to experience our reaction to new stuff they’ve worked on when they’re together, and definitely not together and in person, so she kept being like this is so cool for us you have no idea and he’s in the back confirming lololol

And so anyway she gets to Look What You Made me Do and she’s like soooo how do we want to do this??? Do we want to keep sitting do we want to dance…??? And we’re all like DANCEEEEEE SHDHIEOKRKR and shes like okayyyy we’re dancing and Shaina this is deadass like straight out of a dream.  Actually wait no I couldn’t have imagined this, but she starts and I was anticipating part of this but not the whole thing…

So she obviously doesn’t just have us bopping along and staying and dancing on her own up front… she starts making her way into our basically tiny crowd and we’re so packed together that she’s grabbing people’s hands so she doesn’t fall as she goes. And she’s stopping and dancing with people and stops and stays dancing like staring at one guy and he’s going for it and not afraid and singing the lyrics dramatically right back to her….

And then she makes her way towards and wait for it

GRABS MY DAMN HAND AS SHE’S TRYING TO GET FARTHER INTO THE MIDDLE AND I’M LIKE OKAY OKAY JUST CHILL SHE JUST GRABBED MY HAND NO BIGGIE AND IM LIKE SHES GONNA KEEP WALKING LIKE THAT WAS MY MOMENT RIGBT?!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOO SHE STOPS THERE ONCE SHES BY ME AND IS DANCING WITH THE PEOPLE THAT ARE AROUND HER BUT HER BACK IS TO ME AT THIS POINT BUT IM STILL LIKE HOLY SHIT WHAT IS LIFE AND THEN SHE FREAKING ASS TURNS THE HELL AROUND AND IS DANCING! WITH! ME! LIKE! SHES! LOOKING! AT! ME! AND IM LIKE JAMMING OF COURSE AND SCREAMING THE LYRICS AND I LITERALLT DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN

And then Vanessa (my Shawn buddy) at this point has scooted up to me cuz everyone’s shifted and the people around me are like dude holy shit SHE DANCED WITH YOUUUUU

BYEEEEEEEEEEEE

Okay okay so after the whole album was played she gave us like the lowdown on the meet and greet portion and she passed out the target exclusive magazines for us to see while we waited and talked a bit about the making of them and why and things and she’s really pumped about them and they worked really hard to have them be affordable as possible and cut down the pages and things

And meanwhile like the whole night she’s so close that people would make comments and she’d hear and respond and it was so cute and amazing

Also I don’t think I’ve mentioned her outfit yet???  She’s been looking bomb at all of the other sessions and holy helllll she looked bomb like damnnnnnnnn she had on a black crop top and these high waisted and slightly folded down camouflage pants and these black boots and her hairrrrrrr this era is like natural curls and soooo damn cute

Okay okay so anyway we thought it was a greattttt idea to wait towards the end so we could stay longer and not go first and be done and sent home… yeah well it ended up being a not great idea because we ended up waiting two hours but I’m obviously not complaining one freaking bit

And she’s doing pictures in the other room so we can’t really see much for most of it but every so often we can see people talking to her and taking photos and it’s so cute it’d melt your hearttttttt

And so those of us that have bonded together at this point are like um shoooooot what pose and what the hell do I say to her??????? Like all week to my parents I was like ummmmm soooooo I’ve imagined this happening but like never thought it’d actually happen so unlike some people I had nottttt planned like a monologue of what I’d want her to know if I ever met her???? Like with Vance I was lost too but with my posters it was easier and I’ve seen him recently and yada yada but this is TAYLOR FREAKING SWIFT WHO IVE LOVED WITH MY WHOLE DAMN HEART SINCE I WAS FIFTEEN AND SHIT IM TEARING UP ON THE PLANE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU SAY TO HER WHAT DO YOU WANT HER TO KNOW YOU’VE GOT LIKE TWO MINUTES WITH HER GOOOOO

And so we were all really curious if she’d somehow recognize us because people have been saying that they walk in and she shouted their name! And I’m like idk if that’s gonna happen but might as well see if not just ask if she’s seen anything idk idk???

So okay buckle up for like the greatest time of my entire damn life

So I walk in and hug herrrrrrrrrrrrr

And I wish to god I can remember everything she said but I was focusing so hard on keeping it together and saying my bit that I know for sure what I said and can put together mostly something the general sentiment of what she said if not it exactly. So we’re huggingggg and I say I think hiiiii it’s so nice to finally meet you thank you for having me I’m so excited to be here or something and she’s like awww thank you for coming!! And I’m like I have to know how did we all get picked, was it by you or your team or how did it happen?? And I don’t know what the first part of her answer was but she says so the people from LA have been picked for about a year, and the people from elsewhere (I’m guessing with exceptions) have been picked more recently like within the past few months so like now I know it has nothingggg to do with whatever we’ve been doing online recently…. It’s from at least when she first came back if not before and they realized we were active while she was away….

And so I’m like okay ali say something else so I’m like so I really like making concert posters and the first ones I ever made were for you and shes like aw thank you!! And I’m like I realized other people were making posters and I’d been a RA and I was like hey I can make some really bomb posters tooooo. And so I’m like the fist ones said ‘Taylor someday we’ll meet you even if it’s just in our wildest dreams’ and she grabs me and is like AND NOW WE’RE MAKING IT HAPPEN!!! And so I say after I got the phone call I was in my car listening to Ready For It and started bawling when she sings ‘in my dreams, I know I’m gonna be with you’ cuz I knew it was actually happening and shes like awwwwwww or something you get the idea

And so then I straight up start talking about my dad???

I’m like so my dad loves you and she’s like omg and I’m like no he adoresss youuu and is so sad he couldn’t come and she’s like awww tell him hi!!! And I’m like he loves your Out of the Woods piano Grammy performance and I say how I’d found him listening to it repeatedly and he wanted it on his phone. And she’s like he sounds amazing! And I’m like he is he’s awesome lol and I’m like actually and so him and I went and saw you at F1 last year and of course I’m like and I made signs for there too and so I describe them IN DETAIL like what they said, I realized later I told her I was from Oregon, because I said they were the states and the dotted line and the paper airplane and I think she really liked that??? And as if that all isn’t already insane enough at some point in there I mentioned how this month has been insane and how I’d met Vance Joy and it was my birthday and now this and she said something excitedly about that like ahhh so much excitement or idk something about it. And so she’s like so what pose would you like to do? And I’m like I’ve really been going back and forth between just hugging or doing something sort of funny (low key said that hoping she’d be like girl let’s do both but lololol it’s okay) so she’s like it’s completely up to you!! And I’m like um um okay let’s just hug so she grabs me and we take the freaking photo and ahhhhhhhh

And so Vanessa and I had it planned out and she had me go first and at this point I was like would it be okay if my friend and I got a photo with you together and she’s like of course!! So V comes in and hugs her and we take one photo together and she squeezes us together tight and then I hug her one last time and thank her and say I love you so much (lol I had to throw it in other people forgot it and have been upset) and then I walk out and they hand me my merch bag and are directing me to the bus but I’m like can I wait for my friend and they’re like sure. So she comes out and she’s like SHE KNEW MY NAME SHSJEKOFN and she’s like yelling and I’m like shut up and I grab her and I’m like shhh shhhhh hahahaha and so we walk to the bus and it’s the funniest thing cuz they’re just waiting for it to be full so anytime someone new walks on everyone’s like SPILLLLLLLLL

And then once it was full we went back got our things, exchanged details with people on that bus and took photos and whatnot and turned our phones on to the madness anddddddd so well thats the story of the best damn day of my life

~

Taylor, thank you thank you thank for giving me such incredible memories that I’ve blown up the phones of every person I know, and have talked every person’s ears off that I’ve met during these past 365 days, about how special they are to me.  Thank you for making it happen, thank you for holding my gaze so intently and being so genuine every second I was talking to you, thank you for bringing me some of the best friends I’ve ever had, thank you for being so prominent in the highlights of not only this past year, but this past decade.  I love you forever, babe.  Long, long live October 22, 2017.

[wonderlustlucas]

saccharine - lee donghyuck

⇢ prompt “This is the only special part so far.” ⇢ pairing haechan x female reader ⇢ word count 2.1k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings none ⇢ summary One thing on top of another leads to one Hell of an emotional week. Luckily, the birthday boy with the sun under his skin and a passion when it comes to cinnamon buns is there to save the day.—highschool!au ⇢ a/n idrk what this is,,,,it started as one thing and ended as another BUT ITS OK cuz im so happy with this, i uwu, v cute, its kind of dramatic??and depressing??at first?? but low key relatable so UHHHHH enjoy! happy 18th birthday lee donghyuck ❥

The balance on which your patience and sanity sit on is far too close to teetering off the edge; one minuscule blow and off you will tumble, falling down into a hole of desperation and depression that only breakdowns and napping and pints of ice-cream can fix.

It’s simply an amalgamation of factors that will lead to your potential breakdown, a multitude of unlucky combinations that, in accordance with the universe, lunge upon you all at once. And while life could be much, much worse, it’s the overwhelming panic and desolation that makes it so unbearable.

The first, the least stressful but nonetheless one that has you sitting in bed at night on the brink of tears, is the reality that after a whole four years, one thousand four hundred and sixty days, high school would be over. All the set routines, all the unforgettable memories—all of it, cut off with a signed piece of paper and a handshake.

The second: your ex-boyfriend has someone new. While the breakup was months ago, a lengthy amount of time that allowed for the hopelessness and betrayal to finally diminish until you were back on your feet again, enjoying the life of not being tied down and being able to hook up with anyone you damned please, it hurts. It’s an odd sting, a wrenching in your heart that he has found someone else and you haven’t, a dull ache no matter how hard you convince yourself that you don’t care.

The third element to your disastrous undoing, one that every student faces and dreads: exams. You’re smart, undeniably smart, and that’s what makes exams all the more stressful. The honest-to-goodness want and need to do well, combined with the consequences of procrastination make for a week full of rushed studying and ‘I’ll be fine’s, followed by a two hundred question test slapped in your face at seven in the morning that only partially makes sense.

And the icing on the cake: you are premenstrual. It’s the final blow that makes your closing week of school so atrocious, one that heightens the sadness of this is it for school, the grief of a long ago broken heart, and the monstrous stress of finals. A voice in the back of your head always bitching, bubbling over in your mind that absolutely everything and everyone has to get on your nerves, topped with the undeniable horniness constantly aching in your brain and abdomen along with the wavering self-doubt, euphoria, despair, and irritability.

And even after the last day of school, the final exam, the cheering as you exit the building you’ve been a prisoner in for the past four years, the realization that it’s over, you still are in the grip of a silent panic, an unstoppable snowball fight in the pit of your stomach.

It’s an awkward time of the day once you arrive home from school for the last time, too late to make last minute plans but too early to crash no matter how much your heart calls you to.

Instead, you make a hasty decision to head back out even after you have changed into sweats, opting for a happy middle ground rather than choosing one and ending up disappointed. Off to the bakery you go, driving into the quieter part of town in impassive quietness and staring up at the baby blue sky.

It’s comforting in a strange sort of way, the soporific shade bringing a sense of luxury and serenity like warm milk and honey. However, all good things must come to an end, you realize after you park, abruptly exiting the car and slamming the door closed before making your way up onto the sidewalk.

Like a ghost in a world full of paper dolls you enter the bakery huddled between the bank and antique shop, a place where air is more delicious than any flavor and mouth-watering displays cause more regret than any drunken party ever could.

The cinnamon buns just so happen to be like your Achilles tendon; at the sight of one you’d stop dead in your tracks, the damned things are your nemesis and elixir all in one and there’s simply no denying a decadent treat like this on such a forlorn day.

Upon entering the bakery, you let out a mesmerized sigh at the beckoning aroma of fresh baked cookies and cakes and pastries and you hardly feel a hint of embarrassment when your stomach growls instantaneously. The impending hollow sadness quickly vanishes and is replaced with the sudden sense of tranquility. Finally, you think, stepping up to stand behind a young girl finishing her order, things can only get better from here.

However, just as you’re drilling optimistic thoughts into the confines of your brain, a customer with a dash too much pep in his step bursts through the door from behind you and, astoundingly, cuts in front of your spot with not even an ‘Excuse me.’

You’re flabbergasted, to say the least, sparks in your brain, desperately trying to connect the dots and instead just causing a short circuit. And suddenly you are underwater—everything is slow and warbled and you’re left unable to speak as the culprit has the audacity to move up in line and place his order as if nothing had ever happened.

And with a force like water bursting forth from a dam, brick by brick the walls come tumbling down, tears spilling down your face, struggling to breathe, you turn with a trembling chin to look toward the window, clawing for some sort of comfort in the light outdoors. However, the bustling of customers around you cannot mask the hushed sobs that shake your body, and no matter how furiously you wipe the tears from your cheeks or suck in air to calm your lungs, nothing can hide the fact that you are standing in the middle of a bakery weeping.

“Shit, that was not supposed to happen.”

The gentlest of hands grasping your own pauses your public breakdown, and for a split second, you jerk away from the tender touch until, no matter how hard it is to do so, you glance up.

“Donghyuck,” you hiccup upon recognition, “what’re you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? I should be asking you that,” Donghyuck chortles, “I went to buy you a cinnamon bun and then you started sobbing.”

Oh.

“You didn’t—you never,” you groan, “why didn’t you say hi first instead of cutting in front of me like an idiot?” You grumble, retracting your hands to messily rub away the remaining wet streaks down your cheeks, grossly heaving in oxygen and blinking out a few more tears. “I thought it would be cute and spontaneous, and then you turned to shit,” the tanned boy retorts, turning momentarily to grab the bag coasted across the counter to him before, suddenly, intertwining his fingers with yours and dragging you to a free table.

“So, why’d you go all batshit back there?” Donghyuck asks, rosy heart-shaped lips tugging up into a soft smirk even as he sits you down in the booth and takes a seat across from you. It’s dangerous, you realize; the mocking lilt to his voice paired with kindness that is more than out of place, and, of course, his overall handsomeness. From golden skin, warmer than any sunset you’ve seen, disheveled auburn hair dipping into black eyes with irises shimmering with all the stars in the night sky, cherry red lips that allow one-too-many smartassed words slip by. Lee Donghyuck is truly an enigma.

"Why’d you buy me a cinnamon bun?” You retort finally, reaching for the bag and tearing it open, eager for the delight inside. Donghyuck rolls his eyes, “Answer my question first.”

Stubborn. “I’ve had a rough week, and that was just the cherry on top,” you tell him truthfully, “also, how’d you know I was here?”

“One question at a time, tiger.” Snotty. “I didn’t follow you, you’re not that special, although I did see you walk in here with the most miserable look I may have ever seen and thought, ‘Hey, now’s a good time to rekindle what I had with the girl I’ve been crushing on since she dropped me for some fuckface baseball player sophomore year.’“

You blink once and then again, pausing your attack on the first bite of dessert to look up at Donghyuck. Candid. Processing his words, you stare at him blankly, his lips pouted into a smirk once more, “I did not drop you.”

“Babe, you definitely did.” A flirt.

“You’re the one that told all your friends I was a bitch!”

“God, ___, it was a joke. Ever heard of one of those?” Rude. “Can you just shut up and let me eat my cinnamon bun?” You grumble, peeling off a chunk, cinnamon glaze sliding under your nail.

“Technically it’s mine, but fine,” he chuckles, grinning devilishly as you pop the bit into your mouth, a hypnotized sigh escapes your lips and suddenly the golden boy isn’t so wicked. “Fine, I was a baby back then, I’ll admit it. However, if you’re trying to get me to fall for you again, this whole mocking me when I’m emotionally unstable isn’t gonna do it for you.”

Donghyuck processes your words, squinting as you go on with your feast, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning into the wooden table, “Why was this a rough week?”

“Well, let’s see,” you sigh, counting your fingers, “high school is over and university is going to be stressful, fuckface baseball player has a new girlfriend, exams made me lose brain cells, and my period is coming soon so I want to die.”

“That doesn’t sound fun,” he comments, tearing a piece of the cinnamon bun off and you glare at him. “It’s not.”

“At least you have a cinnamon bun now,” beams Donghyuck, kicking your shins under the table and you groan. Childish. Licking your fingers clean you check your phone, glancing at the time and catching the date by chance. Then, “Isn’t today your birthday?”

“You remember?” He asks and your heart lurches at the innocent cloud that passes his features. You nod slowly, returning his smile, “Happy birthday, then.” Donghyuck‘s cheeks flush the faintest shade of coral and at the heat rising upon your own you turn away, clearing your throat and munching on another piece. Angelic.

“Anyway,” you cough, “how’s your birthday been so far? Any plans?”

Donghyuck shrugs, “None yet, just dinner with my family and I’ll probably hang with the boys tomorrow. This is the only special part so far.”

“Oh,” you quip, frantically searching for a spot to look at and settling on a grey pigeon outside, pecking viciously at whatever is on the pavement, “that’s good.” Glancing back to the cinnamon bun, mouth watering at the gooey center, you force the temptation back, “You can have that.”

His eyes light up. “Really?” You nod, laughing, watching joyfully as he instantly snatches the last bit up and shoves it into his mouth. “Fuck, man, that was good, thank you,” Donghyuck rambles, wiping the frosting from his fingers and reaching for your hands.

“So,” he sighs, nestling his hands into your own and squeezing them, “in all seriousness, since we’re going to the same school and all, could we maybe... try the whole dating thing again?” Determined.

Donghyuck grimaces, a fault you never thought you would ever see cross his face, for doubt simply did not exist in his life and here it is, spread out in front of you and your response is the next move in this game of chess. “Hyuck,” you chuckle softly, gliding your thumb across his palm, “I’d be dumber than dumb if I let you get away. Of course I want to try it again.”

“Really?” He squeals, you nod and he clutches you fingers once more. “That’s a relief, I was starting to worry I royally fucked up.” Entertaining.

You laugh again, eyeing him as he slides from the booth and throws out the bag before returning before you. “You certainly did not fuck up, you just made me happy for like, the first time in a week.” You follow him out, walking by his side to your car and squinting past the blinding streaks from the sunset, mesmerized by the melanin of his skin that suddenly seems to glow in the sunlight, reaching for his arm and curling your hand around his bicep. Breathtaking.

“Well, this was good,” Donghyuck gleams, a lighthouse shining out across the sea, pausing in front of the car, “I’ll call you soon?” A gentleman. “Okay,” you sigh blissfully, “I’ll be waiting by the phone.”

He kisses you too quickly, a rushed brush of his lips and then it’s gone with the wind; you have to tug him back, pulling him flush against your form, whispering a “Happy birthday,” because God, your week just got so much better and he’s just too sweet.

[backyardfun]

Aight, story time.

A couple of months ago, my roommate cheated on his girlfriend. He recounted all yhe details to my landlord (I was also present so despite myself I also heard). Needless to say I was pretty disgusted. The girlfriend practically lived here as well we crossed paths a lot. Sweet girl. Has no fucking clue what a mess she's in. Landlord and I talk about it and he strongly advises NOT to tell the girlfriend even though he practically made it our business. I agree to keep quiet but it kills me slowly inside. Because she simply has no fucking clue. And he keeps talking about how if she cheated on him he would like beat up the guy in question and I feel fucking disgusted. He is painfully unaware of his shortcomings in the matter. He is noisy, disruptive and messy. Basically, every landlord's nightmare. I should also point out that he practically always has someone over and is genuinely just a pain in our butts.

Now fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. Dude announces that he's moving out at the end of the month. If I remember correctly it's at his mother in law's. I am still unsure to this day. And at this point I'm just practically sock to my stomach that he's getting away with this and that she just really has no fucking clue. So, unable to hold it in anymore, I message the gf and tell her basically that her boyfriend is even more of an asshole than he actually is.

She thanks me for telling me. Nothing happens the day of. I'm at work and everyone else I'd told about this is just as I glad I did. Girl code is important. We don't have a lot of help left in a world where men treat us like crap. If I was in her situation, I would want someone to tell me. Now, I make it home from work and neither of them are home. Landlord is asleep in the basement basically nothing seems out of the ordinary.

Now. I don't use snapchat a lot. And by that I mean at all. I have this ONE friend who uses it daily to reach me and that's fine but snapchats tells you when someone screenshots a convo right?

It's about 10:00 am on a saturday. The gf took a screenshot of our convo. I have a bad feeling. For once I didn't go to bed naked because what if I have to run right? Well, I hear him come in. And let me tell you, he is being LOUD. Never in my life have I been so lucid so quickly in the morning.

Boyfriend bursts into my room and yells: "what is your fucking problem?"

Now by this time I have grabbed a pair of sweatpants to hide my crotch but nothing more like guy is walking inside my room and I can't tell what he's going to do all I know is that I have to remain calm. It's easy because I just woke up and my brain is just slooow. I remain seated cuz half exposed crotch. And guy just... starts asking why I did it basically. He pauses for answers but I know answers won't help. He yells everything. And I act dumb. He asks if I'm fucked in the head. If I am just out to destroy him cuz he's lost everything. In the end my confusion throws him off and he tries to threathen me by punching the back of my desk chair. He yells/asks if I want him to break everything. And I just say that that would be dumb. He seems confused but agrees with me and after yelling some more. He leaves.

I close the door behind him and put my fucking pants on. I see him outside. He's on the phone pacing. I want to distract myself so I start cleaning.

He comes back. Bursts into my room again. Now, I'm standing. I'm pretty short. He's not much taller than me. Now, I have kneed guys in the balls before for different reasons. But when a guy is in your room, and no one else is in the house and he's just in your face yelling at you... you don't knee him in the balls.

"YOU THINK I'M FUCKING STUPID? I KNOW IT'S YOU. NOT SO TALKTIVE NOW ARE YOU?"

Now, people, when the irony is striking, it's hard to hold back on any form of comment, but I did. Basically he yelled/projected saliva unto me.

"STOP MAKING THAT FUCKING DUMB FACE."

"I DONT KNOW YOU. I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU."

"YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME. SLUT."

Yes. I was the slut in this whole mess.

In the end my only answer was ok. And that seemed to throw him off enough that he left. Punching walls as he went. It's like since I didn't burst into tears or just break he just left.

Going into shock is weird. Because I didn't feel scared the whole time. But the aftershock it hits weird. All the sudden you start shaking and you just spontaneously become teary and you need your head but you don't have access to it.

I was mostly scared he would end up acting on his threats. So I basically alerted everyone that was in the area. Mostly coworkers because family was out of town. And the girlfriend. Let her know what just happened and basically asking if I need to call the police because I ain't dealing with an enranged pubescent man. She apologizes for putting me in this situation and tells me she doesn't think him capable of actual violence. It is all so ironic to me. Eventually, my coworkers responded (no cook is awake before 10 am on a Saturday). But none of them could really help in the situation so I had to resort to calling my little sister. (things are weird between my family and me on account of me not really sharing spiritual beliefs). She took my gaming gear off to someplace else and finally.... well I still had to go to work didn’t I?