#cutting stuff from the chapter I’ve been procrastinating on for like three months

[h-didanart]

And for today’s cut fic interactions! The Blood Twins trying to see the good side of their situation, I think, kinda? Ehhh, somewhat

(These two are from what’s supposed to be the same scene btw :P)

———

Bloody: I actually had a feeling this would happen since the rat thing

Harvest: … that’s fair. You did notice we wouldn’t enjoy the slaughter first after all

Bloody: y-yeah… that was pretty bad

Harvest: You’re telling me, I should’ve seen it too, such an obvious thing, if only it wasn’t for my incompetence

Bloody: you forget we’re both incompetent

———

Harvest: So, this is our life now

Bloody: Seems like it

Harvest, sighing in exhaustion: Such a miserable life

Bloody: Better than a miserable end

That was probably not a good thing to say, fuck

Harvest, quietly: Suppose so

They both were quiet for a bit

Bloody: I liked Solar

Harvest: I did too

Bloody: He was nice

Harvest: Sure he was, until he wasn’t

Bloody, looking at Harvest: Do you think he still cares?

Harvest: He shouldn’t

Bloody: But does he?

Harvest: …

Bloody, fidgeting awkwardly: Sorry, stupid question—

Harvest: I hope he does

Harvest: We’ll probably never get that level of concern from anyone again with how we are now- besides, well

He gestures to them both

Harvest, giving the stink eye: and stop cutting yourself off, it’s getting annoying, who cares if it’s a dumb thought, you forget we’re both stupid

Bloody:

Bloody, frowning: Don’t use my words against me

Harvest: I’ll use whatever I want against you

Bloody reached to punch Harvest’s shoulder lightly, the younger rolled their eyes.

That felt right

This felt right

[mikauzoran]

The Ascendancy of The Plan ™ (re: Mikau’s WIPs)

So, I feel like I’ve gotten a lot accomplished in the past few months since I last did one of these status updates. Most of the stories I ended up writing were much longer than anticipated, and I’ve had a lot of ideas just pop into my head that I hadn’t originally been planning, so this list isn’t going to look very different from the last one, but I promise that I have accomplished things, and there are some new projects in the works. ^.^;

I’m currently posting the final chapters of Among the Wild Things and Betting Against the House. Below is a list of works I have planned for the coming months. Let me know what sounds interesting or what you’re excited for.

Anhedonia: When Adrien Met Marinette: (Adrienette, post-reveal/pre-relationship, roommates) So, I’m taking a screenplay writing class, and we’re studying the scripts of several movies to get a feel for how the writer evokes different cognitive responses from the audience. One of the movies is When Harry Met Sally. I’ve never seen this movie, but apparently it’s about two friends finally ending up together after some trials and tribulations. It’s about never giving up on finding love and happiness...only I’m feeling depressed at the moment, and I don’t want to hear about true love because I’m lonely and despair of ever finding someone to share a life with. So I’m using my feelings to write a story. ^.^ Naturally. XD

It’s post-reveal/pre-relationship Adrienette. They’re roommates, and there’s been a misunderstanding because Marinette didn’t tell Adrien how she felt about him after she found out he was Chat Noir, and he’s told her that he’s over her because he thinks that the only way to preserve their friendship (since she’s already turned down his advances as Ladybug, so, obviously, she wouldn’t want him as Marinette either). It has a happy ending, and they straighten things out because I still believe in finding true love and happiness. XD I’m a sap like that, and these two deserve happiness.

Ladrien Present: (Adrienette, Ladrien) I’m still trying to write a story where Ladybug brings Adrien’s birthday party to him. ^.^; I have half of it written (the Adrienette half), and I have an outline for the rest. I just...need to sit down and make myself write it. I’ve seriously been procrastinating on this one. I don’t know what my deal is. -.-;

Marichat Prompt: This is an overflow prompt I received as part of my Productive Procrastination Prompt Giveaway. It’s about Chat Noir visiting Marinette and it somehow coming up in conversation that Marinette has always thought of Chat as a player. For some reason, this makes Chat really angry because he can’t stand her in particular thinking that about him. I thought this story out a couple months ago, but I didn’t write it down, so now I’ve forgotten, and I’m going to have to think up the plot all over again. XD

Alyadrino Prompt: Someone sent me an Ask that said, “Snuggle party makes me imagine what if nino and alya accidentally did to adrien what luka and marinette intentionally did to him in shades 12″, and I thought, “…Oh, all right. Why not?” I had a basic outline of what I wanted to do with this story a couple months ago, but I didn’t write it down, so now I have to figure it out all over again. Oh, well. I have the basic idea, I think.

Lukadrigaminette: At the beginning of the month, I thought, “I should do Valentine’s Day stories!” I ended up writing a Marichat one, and then I had this idea. It’s not Valentine’s Day related, so I decided to shelve it for later. So, several years ago, my friend and I concocted this scheme to bake for our respective crushes and win their hearts that way. It’s a really fond memory for me, and I’m turning it into a Lukadrigaminette story. Luka and Kagami join forces to bake for Adrien and Marinette in order to win their love.

Plagg and Wayzz Prompt: I got a comment on one of my stories that said, “Can you do a top wayzz bottom plagg one? Preferably in universe and in human form. Doesn’t have to be smut.” First I thought, “What the bloody hell?” because it was a comment on a Lukadrien story, and that’s all it said, and I thought, “Well, that’s random.” I’ve never really written Wayzz before, but this gave me the idea for a story where the team is up against an akuma that somehow separates them from their kwamis, leaving the heroes unable to detransform and the kwamis in defenseless human form. What I came up with really doesn’t have anything to do with the prompt other than Plagg and Wayzz will both be in human form. It will probably just end up being a Lady Noir identity reveal piece, honestly.

Supportive Adrien Lukadrien One-Shot(?): I haven’t actually pinned this story down well yet. ^.^; I was just thinking that I wanted to write something where Adrien is the one supporting and encouraging Luka, since I typically write Luka being a supportive presence for Adrien. I was thinking that the scenario could be that Luka is feeling down because Marinette still loves Adrien and things aren’t going well between Marinette and Luka, so Adrien takes Luka on an outing and confesses his love and they live happily ever after or something.

The only thing is that a different scenario is trying to creep into this story. It’s really weird. It’s post-Papillon defeat, and Adrien is twenty-four (Luka is twenty-six). He’s been in kind of rough shape the past few years since his father was arrested and he lost his family and home and fortune. He couldn’t finish university, and he’s been travelling around, trying to find work and make a life for himself. He ends up back in Paris, broke, and auditions for a band because he happened to see a flyer advertising for a new lead vocalist. It just so happens that it’s Luka’s band, and Luka ends up finding out about Adrien’s situation and taking him in and feeding him...but that scenario is just more Luka taking care of Adrien, and that’s not what I wanted to write. XD It also feels like multiple chapters, and I don’t want to go there. Oh, well. We’ll see what happens.

Adrien Trapped in AU-Land: (Adrienette, canon universe featuring AUs) My idea is based off of a writing prompt submitted by @graaythekwami on the @miraculousfanworks Discord server: AU where all the characters wake up in a different AU every chapter, fully remembering what happened in the last AU. My idea is for Chat Noir to get hit by an akuma (probably named Escapist or something equally dumb ^.^) who traps Adrien in a series of alternate realities (AUs) until he realizes his feelings for Marinette and manages to break free.

L’Amour de Loin: (Lukadrien, post-Papillon defeat, Félix wingman) I did a sneak peek for this here. This was one of the two “Winter Lukadrien Pieces” mentioned on my last status update. Adrien is living in London with his aunt and cousin three years after Papillon’s defeat and arrest. He’s in rough shape and hasn’t kept in touch with anyone from Paris. One day, he gets a text from Luka out of the blue, and they rekindle their friendship. Félix acts as wingman to ensure that it turns into something more.

Adrienette Hanahaki: Awhile ago I did an ask game about a trope I’d like to try writing, and the one I came up with was Adrien with Hanahaki disease (The one where you start coughing up flower petals due to unrequited love making flowers grow inside your lungs). I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve decided I’d like to actually write this story. My basic outline is: Adrien starts showing symptoms, and Gabriel badgers him about whom he’s in love with, and Adrien just blurts out, “Marinette!” And Gabriel threatens Marinette into dating Adrien, and they start fake dating but then fall in love.

Happenstance and Magic: Marichat May 2019. Marinette and Chat Noir adopt kittens together, and Adrien tries to get Marinette to see that he’s not perfect but still a worthwhile person deserving of her love.

I’ve been thinking about this one, and I think I’m going to cut the number of prompts I actually use. Once I’m done with the other stories, I want to sit down and make a more thorough outline of what I want the story to be and which prompts I’m going to use to get me there.

The Seduction of Adrien Agreste: This is part of the Springtime in Wonderland (Daisy/Jabberwocky) series. It deals with Luka and Adrien experimenting with physical intimacy to see if they can reach a compromise where Luka and (asexual) Adrien are both comfortable and have their needs met.

Things Currently on the Backburner:

The Rejects Club: Predominantly Marichat with Adrienette. Chat Noir and Marinette unexpectedly grow very close very fast as they open up to one another after Marinette overhears Adrien seemingly dismissing her as a romantic prospect. Identity shenanigans at farcical levels ensue.

I can’t really deal with Rejects right now. I’m feeling super overwhelmed by basic life stuff, so I don’t really have the mental or emotional energy to put into a story where I don’t know how many more chapters there will be until the end. I’m thinking that what I have planned will take at least another one or two hundred thousand words. This thing is just so massive, and I’m not in good enough mental heath to deal with it right now.

Springtime in Wonderland: Yeah, no. See the paragraph directly above. This is another one that’s going to take another couple hundred thousand words to complete, and I just don’t have the stamina in me right now. I’d rather focus on smaller projects that actually feel attainable. I’m trying not to burn myself out.

And that’s it for the moment. I’m sure I’ll come up with plenty of other stuff between now and the next time I do a status update post, but is there anything that you’re particularly interested in? Let me know what you’re thinking.

Thoughts? Feelings? Suggestions? Opinions? ^.^

[makeste]

BnHA Smash!! 01 and 02: Smash!!Might is a Fucking Menace

okay, so. I have about a million other things I should be doing instead, including (1) responding to asks and/or finishing in-progress metas, (2) reading Vigilantes, and last but not least, (3) actually making a dent in the ever-increasing backlog of Actual Work That I Really Should Be Doing Instead.

so naturally I’m procrastinating by taking my first stab at reading BnHA’s cute 4-panel omake spinoff series, BnHA Smash!! IT JUST MAKES SENSE. look, I have exactly one thing I felt like actually doing and not procrastinating today, so I might as well do the thing. basically it’s my attention span’s world and I’m just living in it.

anyway! so apparently this series was scanlated by good ol’ Fallen Angels. that’s right; prepare yourselves for some very creative cursing, fellas. other background info for anyone who, like me, is unfamiliar with this spin-off: this series debuted on November 9, 2015, a little over a year after the original series. said original series was currently at chapter 66, meaning the Final Exam arc was just wrapping up.

so now that we’re all properly oriented, let me go over a few disclaimers real quick and then we’ll get started!

all comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.

I’m aware that not everyone may be familiar with Smash!! even if they’ve read/watched the original series, so I’ve tried to make this recap comprehensible even if you haven’t read the spin-off. that being said, it’s probably more enjoyable if you have, so you can either purchase the first volume from Viz here, or read the chapter online (I don’t want to link directly, but the spin-off is available on most of the usual sites. literally just google “read mha” and you’ll find some good options).

this readthrough contains a handful of sorta-kinda spoilers for the BnHA manga, although there are no direct spoilers. just an indirect reference to a joke in chapter 242, as well as a reference to a theory which as of now is in no way canon. but just to be on the safe side I’m posting a heads-up.

and I think that’s it! so here we go.

so we’re opening with a brief summary of the series. people have superpowers and shit’s nuts. you know the drill

there’s also a brief description of the way that the superhero economy works, complete with Mt. Lady’s employees unionizing and demanding better pay

...what

guys I keep staring at this and thinking that surely, SURELY it doesn’t say what I think it says. sidekick... what... manager??

you know what? Viz unfortunately doesn’t include this series as part of their subscription package (WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR, VIZ), but it does at least include a free preview of Smash, and I bet you that this, the first fucking page of the series, is a part of that preview. so... let’s see...

okay, see, this actually makes sense! so did the FA scanlating team collectively all have a fucking stroke?! just, what??

this is one of the reasons why I had difficulty reading Vigilantes too, tbh. those early chapter scans were, uh. but at least Vigilantes has a Viz scanlation too. I don’t want to spend 10 bucks just to read one volume of this, but we’ll see. anyways

so now there’s a strip about baby!Izuku watching his favorite clip of All Might saving one hundred people from a bus accident or whatever

lol Inko you should not have left your shrewdly calculating four-year-old son unattended omg

TWELVE MONTHS’ WORTH OF TEXTBOOKS HOW CAN THIS EAGER YOUNG MIND RESIST

and this is why you don’t leave your credit card info saved on the computer when you have kids. life lessons learned today

this is the first indicator we have ever had that baby!Izuku wasn’t perfect and was, in fact, capable of being a little shit and giving his mom plenty of gray hairs in his own special way. ngl, I fucking love it

also 12,800 yen is about $118 USD, which is honestly a really good deal for a year’s worth of textbooks. he got three boxes of books! I just googled the average cost of college textbooks, and the google article said the average student spends about $1200 a year. so this is a fucking steal tbh

OH MY GOD INKO HOW MANY TIMES MUST HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF BEFORE YOU LEARN

at least install a fucking adblocker ffs. you’re lucky quirk supplement ads are the worst of the ads he’s getting! PARENTAL CONTROLS

now we are cutting to a comic about baby!Izuku defending another boy from my problematic fave, as seen in page one of the original series!

lmaooo

I’m not clear on how much of this spin-off can actually be considered canon. my understanding is that it is Horikoshi-reviewed and approved, even though he doesn’t actually write it. but it’s obviously a humor series, so a lot of it is just going to be jokes. that being said, I think my approach is going to be “if it’s not completely ridiculous and doesn’t contradict the actual manga, go ahead and consider it canon”

(ETA: I might change this up after reading the first two chapters. most of these strips would have terrifying implications if they were actually canon sob.)

anyhoo, this actually does contradict the manga in that we saw this encounter play out very differently. but I kind of wish it was canon regardless because looool. these cocky preschoolers and their fucking Battle Tears

the next comic is Mt. Lady accidentally stepping on a guy’s face and the guy being way too fucking happy about it (read: having a fucking nosebleed and taking an upskirt shot). we’re just going to skip this entirely. this is another problem I was having with Vigilantes too. you know, for all my complaints about Mineta and such, BnHA as a whole is so much tamer than it could be, and I need to give Horikoshi credit for that. he mostly knows where to draw the line, and to his credit he’s also much, much better about this kind of thing than he was when he first started. maybe Mineta’s standings in the character poll results are helping to clue him in

anyway, I’ll mostly just skip past the iffy stuff because I don’t have patience for it and there’s still plenty of other stuff to cover. so on to the next strip

which features a bunch of reporters fawning over Mt. Lady’s flashy quirk while Kamui Woods laments in the shadows

and yet we know this kid will have a prominent rise within the next six months. it’s so strange to revisit the start of the series and see how much things have changed in such a short time

oh my god

no one who dresses up as a giant mushroom could possibly have good intentions. I. just

and look at the fucking disappointment in Deku’s eyes. KAMUI WOODS HE BELIEVED IN YOU!

now some strange man is coming up to Deku and is all HEY YOU, YOU’RE A HERO OTAKU, TELL ME WHAT TO BUY MY SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. better not ask him unless you’re prepared to shell out $120 bucks for some fucking textbooks

hey, what!!

WE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO SEE WHAT HE BOUGHT HIM? unless it’s the action figure the kid appears to be holding? but I’m just going to go ahead and assume Izuku recommended the number one best gift that any seven-year-old child would love, i.e. a giant sword

now it’s a sludge monster omake!

so Izuku is trudging home all depressed after CERTAIN INCIDENTS, and Sludgey is glooping his way out of a sewer towards him

oh no All Might

my biggest takeaway from this is the fact that the entire second half of chapter one takes place after All Might has emerged from a fucking sewer. I forgot all about that somehow. or maybe it never fully processed until just now. but omg. this entire chapter must have smelled so fucking bad. these poor kids

wow All Might

sure called that one wrong. ah well nobody’s perfect

looooool

lmao, Smash!!All Might appears to be quite a bit more vain than the original. wow dude

btw, friendly reminder (and I think this is something that was actually pointed out to me after one of the recaps; that’s one of my favorite things about doing these) that All Might, after saving Deku, actually read his notebook before signing it. super-fast, I guess, because he’s the best. but yeah, so he knew exactly how smart and observant Deku was, and how much he wanted to be a hero. his decision to pick him as his successor didn’t just come out of the blue; even before the “my body moved on its own” thing, there was a lot Deku had going in his favor. this is one of those little details of which BnHA has so many, and which I love

lmao what the fuck

ngl this version of the series would have been amazing in its own way. but yeah. so this is why we clearly can’t assume everything in Smash!! is canon lol. but I can already tell I am going to enjoy the shit out of this series

now we’re cutting to Deku running at Sludgey in order to save Kacchan, oh shit. the most dramatic part of chapter one. clearly no moment is sacred

sob what

I don’t understand this strip at all. is this supposed to be a serious moment inserted unexpectedly among this multitude of joke strips? or did I miss the punchline? heeeeelp

(ETA: okay so. my best guess is that All Might wrote all over Deku’s life-saving advice, and so the joke is that Deku no longer knows what to do when assaulting sludge men because HIS NOTES ARE RUINED. idk. what does 25 P mean??)

now All Might has Done The Thing and saved my boys, and now Mt. Lady is helping with the cleanup. scooping up all the bits of sludge and putting it in trash bags

oh my god

nope nevermind. nope. nope

-- shit. okay, you know what? this first chapter has been a real in-your-face reminder of the fact that the sludge monster was not made of cute sparkly 2018-trending-fad slime, but was in fact composed of RAW FUCKING SEWAGE. (ETA: to be clear, I’m pretty sure the joke in this strip is that she accidentally picked up dog-doo during her clean-up. but still, the fact that it was indistinguishable from the rest of the gunk speaks for itself.) I think I forced myself to gloss over this fact originally due to the nope factor. but just. Izuku and Katsuki were both choking to death on this shit?? and just, how the fuck did they make it out of this not traumatized

and also, like. All Might was straight up going to leave Izuku alone afterwards, just, “well enjoy your autograph, fine citizen” and blasting off out of there. and everyone fucking saw Katsuki almost suffocate to death later on, and after giving him a pat on the back they fucking let him go off on his own too? and you can’t even make the argument that this was Just Another Day In Quirk Society either, because more than a year later, Katsuki is still a bona fide fucking celebrity from the media coverage of his attack. it clearly was not something that happens every day. in conclusion, these kids are resilient as fuck, and thank god for that because people apparently just do not give a shit, holy christ

anyway. at least Mt. Lady had gloves

OH MY GOD

I FUCKING KNEW IT OH MY GOD. THE ROIDS. MUSCLES LIKE THAT DON’T JUST GROW ON TREES, I DON’T CARE HOW MANY LBS OF GARBAGE THIS KID HAULED OFF THE BEACH. THIS BOY BEEN HITTIN THE JUICE

Smash!!Might is so fucking shady omfg. probably sells cheap counterfeit electronics on Amazon

oh shit and that’s the end of the fucking chapter lol. that’s it?? that was only eight pages. fuck it, let’s read another. but first here’s Horikoshi’s note on the spin-off

so he really feels that Neda gets the spirit of the series and understands him. that’s very encouraging. the best spoofs and parodies are done out of love. I really think I’m going to enjoy this series

so! onward to chapter two

so here’s All Might dressed as Mr. 2 Bon Clay from One Piece, I guess??

“you know what’s funny? dressing a man in girl’s clothes LOL.” guys can we grow the fuck up. and also acknowledge that All Might can look good in anything, so this questionable gag wouldn’t have even landed anyway. you work that tutu All Might

lmao check out the past users of OFA here

All for One for All theory fucking confirmed lol. just look. that’s him in the back of the conga line. clearly

so Deku is all “hell yes why would I possibly say no??” but then

HIS LIMBS. lmao. sign here

in all seriousness, given the shit this kid has been through since the part of the series, All Might probably should have gotten him to sign a liability waiver of some sort. not that it would have stood, since Deku is underage! anyways Deku you totally have grounds to sue the shit out of the Symbol of Peace should you ever choose to do so. and the trend of Smash!!Might being shady af continues yes please give me more I love it

so now All Might is giving Deku his fitness plan which has a really elaborate name

given that this is Smash!!Might, I can’t help but wonder if this plan is in actuality some sort of MLM scheme. All Might are you trying to get Deku to do Herbalife

lol what in the fuck

the original series skipped right over a hell of a lot, it would seem. like the time Deku traveled to Arizona and fought coyotes in a poncho

I’m starting to suspect that Neda-sensei might be on some sort of substance. “let’s see what jokes can I make about chapter 2 of BnHA. I know, I’ll send the protagonist to a fictionalized version of the American Southwest in a sombrero, and then turn him into a 65-year-old oil tycoon.” naturally

lmao that’s really it, that’s the strip. moving right along. okay??

now Izuku is staring at the intimidating piles of Beach Trash and is all “I HAVE TO PICK ALL THIS SHIT UP?”

omg Deku no

somebody call Marie Kondo. Deku none of this is salvageable. not even to reuse in a color page photoshoot spread four years from now

OH SHIT

PROVED ME WRONG OH SNAP. SHOWED ME RIGHT WHERE I COULD PUT THOSE SASSY TAKES. MY BAD DEKU I’M SORRY

anyways I don’t know what Smash!!Might is so upset about. he probably wove some kind of clause into the contract Deku signed that allows him a percentage of the profits. unless Deku already spent it all on textbooks

what the fuck is this fucking series lmao

time for a round of “what is All Might casually crushing in this panel?” is it (a) a cardboard box, or (b) like, a mini-fridge or some fucking shit. IT COULD BE EITHER. IT MAKES EQUALLY AS MUCH SENSE EITHER WAY. “HEROES THESE DAYS ARE [FLEEEEEEX] OBSESSED WITH BEING FLASHY” 

holy shit no wonder he ran away to the Sierra Nevada. it’s only a matter of time before this freak fucking kills someone

NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO KAMUI WOODS DRESSED LIKE A DAFFODIL, IN THE SAME FUCKING COMIC STRIP, BECAUSE REASONS

my jokes about the mangaka being high as a fucking kite when he wrote this are gradually becoming less jokes and more serious inquiries??

lol so he coincidentally just stumbled across All Might and Deku at this exact moment

AND IT WAS A FUCKING REFRIGERATOR OH MY FUCKING GOD

do you guys remember during the final exam when All Might beat the everloving shit out of Deku and Kacchan, and everyone was all “JESUS CHRIST WOULD YOU LEARN TO FUCKING HOLD BACK A LITTLE THEY ARE CHILDREN YOU MANIAC.” but now we can see plain as day that he was, in fact, holding back. anyways Smash!!Might is terrifying as shit and if this had been the main series I would have already pegged him as the final villain by this point

here he is now wearing an old-timey bathing suit but looking more like an escaped convict than anything else

this panel is actually canon. I’ve decided. this 100% definitely happened at some point. especially the swimsuit

now two bikini babes are walking up and they’re all “IS THAT ALL MIGHT??” with excited sparkly eyes because they don’t know that he’s actually a deranged con artist who crushes refrigerators like empty soda cans. this spin-off has truly opened my eyes

LOOK AT THIS SKEEVY FUCK. JUST LOOK

AND NOW HE’S RUNNING OFF AND LEAVING DEKU TO DROWN IN EXHAUSTION, SON OF A

“SUDDEN BUSINESS” KSJLDKF SMASH!!MIGHT IS A FUCKING MENACE TO SOCIETY AND ALSO DOES NOT GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK. NOT ONE!! HE’S OUT THERE FUCKLESS, AND NO ONE IS SAFE

now Deku is approaching his mom all serious and says he wants to change up his diet

and she’s looking at the menu he prepared all impressed and thinking that she might join him. as long as it’s for your health, Inko. if this manga starts making jokes about your weight, I will beat it over the head with Deku’s textbooks

OMFG

THIS WENT IN THE EXACT OPPOSITE DIRECTION I WAS EXPECTING, AND THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I’VE EVER READ WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. the whole fucking family is on the juice. and the fucking mangaka is on some special juice of his own oh my stars

now we’re cutting to Mt. Lady stomping on a car

thank fuck no one was actually in there. also does she not wear shoes

and also, it only just occurred to me that she must be another person with a special quirk costume, because her suit shrinks and expands along with her. Hagakure and Momo are really getting shafted by the costume design team here. they need to fire some people

anyway so Mt. Lady slipped on this carelessly placed vehicle and fell down and crushed an entire building whoops

bruh, you think you’re “ow.” let’s hope that building was empty too

and now she’s toppling another building just fucking because, I guess. and saying she can’t do urban areas

lmao and now the sidekick [CENSORED] manager from chapter one is back to guilt-trip her omg

I need this man to show up in every freaking chapter. please. respect my wishes

and now Izuku is standing on top of his collected pile of garbage screaming in victory

I only just realized that there’s still a big old Pile O’ Trash on this beach, though. someone needs to haul all of this junk away. or else get All Might and Mt. Lady to crush it all with a combined effort

oh shit here it comes y’all, the famous “eat my hair” scene. potential comedy gold right here omg

lol what the fuck

this man is a fucking billionaire and he’s out here clipping coupons and deleting pictures of his son in order to make room for them smdh

okay now we’re doing the hair scene

oh. oh no. I know where this is going sob please keep this comic rated PG for the children Neda

motherfucker they really --

Smash!!Might is a straight-up felon. this man has no fucking scruples. that’s okay Midoriya-shounen, if you don’t want to eat my hair we could just try some REDACTED, jesus christ I am going to need some bleach for my eyes after this

OR LET’S JUST STRAIGHT UP GO THERE WHY NOT

lmao sob. well, two chapters in and we’ve established that no territory is off-limits here. it’s a brave new world. wow

 so that’s it! our introduction to BnHA Smash!! I enjoyed it a lot and I will definitely be reading more! I’m not sure what kind of schedule I’ll keep, but this is a really good procrastination manga thus far, so knowing me I might actually work my way through this relatively quickly. especially since the Manga At Large is on break this week. anyways my deepest apologies to the many people who have been requesting for me to start Vigilantes instead. I just need something lighter right now, and this is a good fit. one of these days I’ll get my shit together with the other two spinoffs as well.

[artboitrash]

His Bloody Rose (Stefano Valentini fanfiction) Chapter 1 - The Student

I tapped furiously at my keyboard on my computer. It's the middle of the night, almost 2:30 in the morning, and I have this stupid project due in the morning.

My head perked up as I heard my coffee maker beep. I sighed and decided a break was a break, at least.

I followed the trailing scent of freshly brewed coffee down the hallway to the kitchen. I felt dreary, and loopy, and ready to sleep. But my stupid procrastinating butt managed to "forget" to write the ending paragraph for an essay due tomorrow morning at 11:00 A.M.

Well, more like two or three paragraphs.

Well, maybe more than a few paragraphs.

Okay, the entire essay.

Fuck college, man.

I glanced at the time on my coffee maker. 2:38 AM. I have less than four hours to complete this essay before I have to leave for school. Then I have a two hour bus ride out to my college, then I have to work until 11, then turn in my half-assed essay. Granted that's if I manage to print it out in time too.

I groaned, rubbing my head as a headache began to develop. I walked to the fridge and grabbed some creamer, hoping to prepare my coffee quickly so I can finish this essay and get at least an hour of sleep to go about my day.

Grabbing a snack out of the fridge, I pour my coffee and make my way back to my room.

Today looks like it'll be hell if I don't play my cards right. . .

-

I walk into the gallery at 8:30 in the morning. I set my stuff down and go about turning on all the lights. I glance around and take in the paintings that have been hanging for the past month. I've seen them all already, not that I've memorized the artist's name or really care. He paints nude women or super imposes their nude photographs onto canvases and paints abstract work around them. Especially after listening to him talk at the opening night, it sounded more as an excuse to portray women's naked bodies for the pleasure of seeing them.

The art department doesn't always select the best artists, in my opinion. But then again, that's my opinion.

I rub my aching head as I recall his story behind one piece hanging thankfully out of sight. A photo of a woman standing with her legs together, hands at her side, staring at the audience, completely nude, blonde hair swept back so her breasts were exposed, no emotion in her face, body cut and pasted onto a picture of an empty street in front of a shop, stained with yellows and browns to give it all a dingy look to it. The story behind that piece was about the artist's family member knowing someone who's kid died of a drug overdose after doing too many drugs on the streets. The piece was supposed to be about how the use of drugs are bad and no one should use them, and the artist chose a young adult woman in front of a shop when the person who died was a late-teens boy that did drugs in an alley.

This most annoying thing to me is every piece in the room was over $1,000 each. Some with a price of $15,000 or more. It irked me because the work didn't feel like there was any soul put into it.

I either don't understand art myself, or the repetitive copy-paste models that look alike don't really shout "artistic statement" to me. Structure, okay. Composition, okay, but often messy. Subject, far too many young adult women with exactly the same body types. Colors, always very muted and very yellow.

I glance at some of the statues the artist did, having taken casts of all his models and rebuilt them using plaster and miscellaneous materials. I frown at the blue statue in the middle of the room, the fact it's a nude adolescent always bothers me whenever I come in here.

I really don't like this artist. Or his work.

"Ahem."

I leaped out of my seat and turn to look towards the door. A man stands there, with a friendly-looking smile on his face, leaning in to look at me despite the glass doors being propped open and being transparent glass.

At first glance, he seemed a little odd. He was dressed very nicely; formal pants and shirt covering his form perfectly, a matching coat left hung open to combat the cold morning outside. His fine clothes perfectly matched his face, a sculpted-looking jaw fit his face like he was a model for a fashion company. He looked like he could be in his thirties, crows feet just beginning to be visible by the eye I could see, but the one to my left - his right eye - was covered by his hair. It was combed straight over his eye, not his entire face. It caught my attention at first, a man in his potential thirties and still hiding his eye behind his bangs. Then I shook it off mentally, it was a college, and early morning college to boot. Literally anything goes.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of the office, ma'am."

A European accent danced across my ears and I perked up. My mind initially began to try and discern what kind it was, but I quickly brushed off the impulse and stood up.

"Sorry, I hope you weren't standing there too long." I said as I walked from the glass desk to the door.

"No need to apologize, I had just walked in. I wasn't certain who was hear this early."

I shook my head. "Not many people except for some early morning classes, unfortunately."

"No rest for the artists, to borrow the phrase."

I walked out the door and gestured he follow. As I pass him I notice a very nice smelling cologne, something I'm not used to in an environment of twenties-something college kids.

Across from the gallery entrance was a map of the large art building and all the different forms of art - save dancing - that were crammed in. I pointed to the second floor of the map and pointed to where we were standing.

"You got unlucky where you walked in," I chuckled to myself. "The gallery is literally on the other side of the building, down to the right here, from the office in the top left on the second floor."

"I see." He laughed too. "I'll have to keep that in mind. Which door is it, then?"

"Quite literally the last door across from the stair door. Right next to a giant window overlooking the rest of the campus. If you walk down this hallway you'll see a large staircase that will take you to the second floor. A little further down is the elevator, if you need it."

He smiled at me, wider than his friendly smile before. "Thank you, miss. You are quite a helpful worker."

I laughed a little. "Don't worry, you're not the first person to get lost in the arts building. You're certainly nicer than some I've had come in here."

"Have a good rest of your morning, ma'am." He said as he turned on his heel and began walking down the hallway.

A black leather portfolio caught my eye, tucked under his left arm, arm swinging slightly with him as he walked. His loafers clicked almost delicately along the linoleum, a strangely soothing and cathartic sound after hearing so many squeaking of tennis shoes through the halls. It made me realize how I had never seen anyone as well dressed or as well taken care of as him, walking along the hallways so casually.

I shook my head slightly as I turned to walk into the gallery again. I can't help my perceptiveness sometimes. I'll pick up on the slightest detail, which is helpful in some cases, but not often when I've just met someone - especially someone I doubt I'll meet again.

I sit back down at the glass desk, mind swimming with the details I picked up  from that man. I did not need this, not today. People are exhausting, and I don't need more exhaustion.

I pull out my laptop to see if I can review and fix anything else on my paper last minute, hopefully I can get the printer in the office working long enough.

-

I pull the pages off the printer and look over them. Crisp ink, warm and malleable pages, words neat and pristine looking back at me. I glance over what I've written once more, hoping to catch one last mistake or incorrect idea before the dreaded turn in time.

I let out a little breath and organize the pages, patting them all neat and precise in a pile. I set them on the desk carefully as I go to get the stapler I keep in my bag. Whatever is in the essay is in the essay. Everything is now up to the grading gods, i.e. the professor.

I pick up the small pile, tapping it in place to ensure all the pages are neat and perfectly centered together, thumbing through them one last time to ensure they are all in order, then tapping them again to even them out one last time.

I may have quite the issue with making sure everything is as it should be.

Or a neat freak, as some might call me.

The sound of the stapler is loud in the silent room. It reverberates off the cement floor and white walls briefly before silence consumes the room once again. I sigh internally, I do not like loud noises, even when I brace for them.

I sit down at the desk and put my essay along with my stapler in my bag, careful not to rumple the pages or catch the staple and tear anything.

I turn towards my laptop, closing out of the word program, out of the printing window, out of the pdf I was using for research, and the hundred-odd tabs of the same purpose.

I open firefox, having accidentally closed it, and go to YouTube. Maybe watching something will calm my nerves. But not too calm, I still have a class to go to.

I pull out my earbuds and plug them into my computer, scrolling down the recommended feed to see what I might want to watch.

A knock catches my attention.

"'Scuzé?" I hear from the doorway.

I glance up, seeing the man I had helped before standing before me. He no longer wears the smile from before, just a slight smirk stretching towards his ear.

"Forgive me for intruding again. I'm afraid the person I'm meeting with isn't here yet. Would you mind if I wait here?"

"Of course not! That's what the gallery is for, after all. It's meant to let people explore art at their leisure."

He glances towards the art I had been mentally critiquing all month long, and while he still held a smile I could almost see something of a grimace cover his face.

"Ah, thank you." He says, but the kindness has left his voice.

He takes a step inside, then glances around. He walks towards the desk I'm sitting at, holding his portfolio in both hands. The scent of his cologne washes over me as he approaches, and I'm embarrassed to admit how nice it smells. I'm not generally one for artificial scents, but his was oddly calming and comforting.

"Do you mind if I leave this on your desk while I look around?"

"Feel free!" I say, trying to sound enthusiastic and not sleep-deprived. "I know how it feels walking around holding onto portfolios or even large sketch pads with nowhere to set them down."

He laughs slightly, and sets the portfolio down on the desk gently, then turning and walking towards one of the canvases by the door. I feel my curiosity peak, making me want to look inside. I wondered if he's looking to be a teacher here in the arts department. Or maybe he wants to do a gallery show here.

Oh god, please let it be the gallery show. I have had such issues with this current installment, I'm almost certain nothing could be worse than this. Maybe straight up porn would be worse.

"Are these your works?" The mans voice cuts me out of my thoughts. I glance up to see him slightly turned towards me and pointing to a painted canvas with a nude woman lounging in a field of sorts.

"Oh, no, sorry." I bite my tongue, having almost said Oh god, no.

A weird look passes over his face. Almost as if shifting emotions or masks for an audience. Or almost as though relief had passed his face before he corrected himself.

"The artist's statement is on the wall over here," I point to a hanging piece of foam with a printed statement from the artist, "if you want to learn more about the artist."

The man smiles politely and nods. "Thank you, I will certainly get to that soon."

I sit back in my chair, turning back to my computer. I put in my earbuds, selecting a video I've watched a few times before, and just tried to keep my eyes open. I grab at my coffee thermos and sip gingerly from it. This much coffee was bound to make me sick, but I can't wait until I can go home and pass out for 12 or more straight hours.

The well-dressed man made his way around the room slowly, as though trying to study and absorb all of the pieces. I saw him in my peripheral either tucking his knuckles under his chin and supporting the arm with his other hand, or walking with his hands behind his back. It was obvious he took art and its imagery very seriously.

I would catch him glancing at me from time to time, eyes focusing on me briefly, but I couldn't discern - or care - if he was gauging whether to steal or deface the work. I made sure he knew I was keeping an eye on him; difficult not to when the desk has a vantage point of the whole small gallery.

He finally made his way to the piece I disliked most, and then to the artist statement. He looked over it carefully, reading each sentence thoroughly. He stood there, hands resting behind his back, almost motionless.

When I glanced at him, the smile he had been wearing had disappeared. A taught line on his lips showed what was either his fight against a frown or a grimace.

He hummed slightly, turning to the desk and putting his hand in his pocket. He pulled out his phone and glanced at the screen, unlocking the phone and fiddling with it for a moment. Then he frowned slightly.

"What are your thoughts on the gallery?" He asked coolly, keeping his even and pleasant tone.

"My thoughts?" I pulled my earbuds out and paused my video.

"Yes. I'm curious how this gallery is being received." He pulled up a chair by the table. "Even if you are simply the attendant, you must have your thoughts on this work."

"I suppose it's all right." I tried to match his inflection, failing horribly.

"Oh? Simply all right?" He pressed, smoothing his gloved hands over his portfolio, making me itch to see what was inside again.

"Well, the men seem to like it, for obvious reasons. The women tend to have issues with it for the same reason."

"And you?"

"I... it's generally not my favorite." I look over to the statues in the room. "While I understand each artist has their niche and style, this particular art I'm simply not fond of. The meanings behind the pieces don't resonate or come across, and the color palettes are just not my preferences."

He leaned forward as he listened, crossing one of his legs over the other as he got comfortable.

"Personally the pieces don't generally strike me as story telling or having messages behind them. They seem too... repetitive? Each picture is different, but the formula is exactly the same. Even the compositions seem similar each time."

A smile crossed the mans lips as he looked at me intently.

"Oh, excuse me." I put my fingertips over my mouth and forced a quiet giggle. "I didn't mean to ramble. I'm rather passionate about art. I have issues with too much repetition from artists sometimes, but it's not up to me to discern what's art or not. That's what makes things art, of course."

The man leaned onto the desk, elbow resting gently on it and arm crossed behind his portfolio. His polite smile was back, though something shimmered behind his grey-green eyes. His smile tugged to one side, showing the wrinkles in the corner of his eyes.

"Forgive me, I haven't introduced myself yet." He held out his hand across the table.

I extended my right hand, his leather glove firmly grasping my hand and shaking it. "I'm Rose. Rose Olian."

"I'm Stefano." He said smoothly, a gleam coming to his eye. "Stefano Valentini."

[elaine4queen]

A Glorious Noise

I sicken myself with procrastination. I wait until I have had my fill of it. Then I take myself in hand. 

I have spent too long listening to a whole series of detective books. I listened to exhaustion. By the end of the final denouement I have come to hate the writer, her conceits, the detective and other protagonists, and the form itself. I do not care who did it or why. 

This is all my own doing. I have chosen to listen to something that does not feed me. I am angry with myself for indulging this long avoidance of my own writing and for sickening myself with reading matter that will not inspire me. It is perverse.

And if I want to finish my book why don’t I get on with it?

I have made false starts. I have bought a rack to put my chapters in so I have room to put the various versions together and revise them side by side. I have been told that somewhere along the way the early revisions have taken away the feel of being in the moment that the early chapters once had. I am afraid in case this further revision takes them even further from the moment in which they were written, and want to unflatten them. The later chapters work, I know, but there is a sense in the early chapters of me learning to write as I go along, which is exactly what I was doing, so I got spooked and tried to even them out, and in so doing flattened them dead. I think. I don’t know any more and I’m afraid to look. 

I do not trust myself in the not knowing even though I know that not knowing is a good place to be.

The rack stands on the table with chapters half sorted and the rest of the manuscript is still in an open folder, now with a layer of kipple on top; a new empty notebook, a plate, a to-do list, and my headphones. But all of this is progress after several months of brain fog apparently caused by statins which I’ve now stopped taking. A couple of months later my head is clearer but there’s life admin to do and it takes up my whole summer. My door lock was broken and it took three months of begging and cajoling to get that fixed, and there’s a leak coming from a flat above mine which has covered my bathroom ceiling in mould, and the housing association has been useless so this week I wrote to my MP about it. All this takes head space. There are other things, too.

Anyway there are always things.

The detective novels were comforting. Towards the end of the binge I listened to Homo Irrealis by André Aciman, recommended by a friend. My own writing is nothing like his, but he writes about reading and he writes about thinking about reading. He also writes about places and memories of places and about how the layers of time in a given place coexist together not ordered but jumbled, and I like that, it feeds me. It takes me back to my own writing; my hand holding this pen. My body, my breath, in this space, in the present moment right now, with all that is around me - the mouldy ceiling holding me back, the dog nagging me to do something more interesting for her, the room that I’m in with the writing stuff, the yoga props, the things done and the things to do, the autumnal sunshine sharper than summer sunshine brightening the buildings across the road.

Ken asks if I would like to join an Artists Way writing group. I would not. I tell him about Natalie Goldberg and advise him to read her. I take my own advice now. I need to go back to my own first principles of writing as a practice. I download Writing Down the Bones and and listen on my headphones while I walk the dog. This. This is what I need right now. 

As she talks I listen. When I get home I go to the shop and get cut price back to school A4 lined notebooks. And carrots for the dog.

I give a carrot to Lola, leave one notebook on the table and take the other to the sofa, and I sit down and write. 

Goldberg talks about inspiration and the word’s root in the breath and the spirit. She talks about what it is like reading aloud a book she wrote some time ago and she seamlessly adds to it in this embodied way, which brings her book into her present, as she speaks it out of her body, and brings it then into my own. On my walk, as she talks about inspiration I think about revision and how that word is rooted in looking. I am listening and looking. We have done a short pass at the park, and are in the Buddhist’s garden, a favourite with the dog, and I remember a book I read decades ago, second hand then, and long out of print. It was a memoir biography, written by Gustav Holst’s daughter about her father, his life, and her memories of him. I remember two things from this book. The first is that she had said that he did not write music every day, but that he waited until he was positively irritated with himself for not doing it, which makes me feel better about having felt stuck for months. The other is about him working with a choir. He was a famous composer so I imagine the singers being in awe of him. She recalls him telling them 

“Those of you who can sing, sing, and those of you who can’t, make a glorious noise to God.” 

[paradoxicalpatton]

Coffee and Flowers

Title: Coffee and Flowers (Only temporary!) Summary: Patton is a father who runs a flower shop across the road from a small coffee shop. He decides to start getting a daily coffee every morning and immediately falls for the cute barista. Pairings: Logicality, background Prinxiety. Trigger Warnings: None, will edit if necessary. Chapter: 2 Word Count: 2091 Taglist: @my-happy-little-bean @toujours-fidele @preyed-llama @a-valorous-choice @milomeepit @ironwoman359 @painfullybisexual @princey-in-a-feminine-way @sassysoysauce @headachechris (Let me know if you want to be added or removed!) Author’s Notes: I procrastinated writing this for god knows how long but I hope y’all enjoy it! Chapter Excerpt: They entered the warm store, the cool breeze leaving them as the door closed slowly. Patton walked up to the counter, feeling Thomas’ hand tighten around his own, he always got nervous going to new places.

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“Dad! You wouldn’t bee-lieve what I learnt today!” Patton was restocking some daffodils when Thomas came running into the store, his smile bigger than ever. Thomas rushed into the back room, dumping his backpack on a stool by the door and grabbing the apron his father had made for him, before running back out to Patton, asking him to tie it for him. Patton knelt down so he could help Thomas tie his apron, it had taken him months searching tutorials on how to make one and he spent hours learning how to draw the perfect bumblebee, however, Thomas cherished it either way. As the two ran the store Thomas told Patton everything he’d learnt about bees, like how bees have two stomachs, or how they have five eyes, and Patton hung on to every word he said. Eventually it was time to close up shop, both Patton and Thomas moved quickly, packing away the items that needed to be stored in the back room overnight, and emptying the register. Before they left Patton picked Thomas up, sitting him on his hip, so he could flip around the ‘Open’ sign, it was Thomas’ favourite part of the afternoon. As they left the store Patton glanced over to the coffee shop, catching another glimpse of the handsome barista.

As well as being a good shop owner, Patton was also an excellent cook. Of course he couldn’t make a lot of things but the stuff he did know was definitely tasty. Thomas loved helping his father whenever he could, so when dinner time came along he was bouncing off the walls with excitement. Patton usually had Thomas wash the vegetables, help mash the potatoes, or even set the table. Neither of them minded that it was just the two of them, it gave them more time to spend with one another. On nights when Thomas was feeling anxious or a little sad they would build a pillow fort in the lounge room, watching countless Disney movies after making homemade pizza. Tonight, however, they were making spaghetti, both of their favourites.

“Hey Thomas?” Patton had placed the bowls down on the small dining table, sitting next to a happy Thomas.

“Yeah Dad?” Thomas glanced up at Patton, cutting of the conversation he was having with his bee plushie that sat on the table.

“Do you remember Mrs. Davidson?” Thomas nodded vigorously, Mrs. Davidson always gave him lollies when Patton wasn’t looking. “Good. Well, she suggested that we sell your flower pots in the shop. Do you think you could paint more if I gave you extra pocket money?” Patton spoke hopefully as Thomas ate his dinner, the sound of Thomas’ spoon falling filling the room.

“Really? You wanna sell my pots!” Thomas began bouncing happily in his seat, his smile spreading from ear to ear.

“Of course, but only if you’re ok with it.” Patton leant forward, cupping Thomas’ cheek in his hand.

“Yeah! Can i paint bees on all of them?” Thomas grabbed his bee plushie and hugged it close to his chest, smiling at his father.

“You can paint whatever you want on them, kiddo!” Patton grinned as Thomas hugged him, the plushie squished between them. Eventually Thomas pulled back, allowing them both to eat their dinner, most of time Thomas would talk about bees and how he wanted to help them.

“Dad?”

“Yes Thomas?”

“Why are you so happy today?” Patton stared at Thomas, a stunned look on his face. What was he supposed to say to that? Oh it’s nothing, just the cute guy at the coffee shop. He couldn’t say that to Thomas, he was his son!

“No reason, I just had a joke stuck in my head!” Thomas watched Patton as he played with his pasta, not believing what he was told.

“But you always have jokes stuck in your head. Was it another boy!” Thomas leant forward, his eyes sparkling as he spoke. How was Patton going to tell him? He couldn’t, not after- not after the last one.

“No, no, it wasn’t a boy. I just love learning about bees!” This, of course, caused Thomas to forget about their conversation and start ranting about bees again. Patton wasn’t concerned so much about Thomas knowing he was gay, he just didn’t want Thomas to see him hurt again. Before Patton had adopted Thomas, he’d dated a guy named Dorian. Dorian treated Patton like a king, whispering sweet nothings to him, saying he loved Patton. Then he tore Patton apart, he ruined him. He manipulated Patton and broke him in ways he couldn’t understand. It took Patton years before he could feel safe around anyone but his best friend, and even then his friend left him to pursue Broadway. But he has Thomas now, he had someone who loved him and depended on him, he had to protect his son. And if that meant hiding the fact that he thought a guy was cute then that’s what he would do. Thomas knew he dated Dorian, he knew that Patton liked boys, he just didn’t know how broken his father really was. And Patton was going to keep it that way. The two finished their dinner in peace, washing up their dishes before heading to bed early.

The next morning was eventful to say the least. Patton had decided that after having to clean up Thomas after he was sick last night that the tiny bee enthusiast was staying home. Thomas did not like that one bit, usually he would love to stay home and help Patton in the shop, but once again his teacher was teaching the class about bees and Thomas wanted to be there. So it had shocked Patton when he was shaken awake by Thomas, who was dressed and ready for school. It took him half an hour to convince Thomas that he wouldn’t be missing out on much, plus Thomas knew more about bees than anyone in his class. Eventually the two left for the flower shop, they’d decided to walk that day since Thomas’ car sickness wouldn’t help with the flu he already had. Before they opened ‘Once and Floral’, Patton had detoured across to the coffee shop. If he had a sick Thomas with him then he would definitely need a coffee to keep him focused, well, that and he kind of wanted to see the nameless guy that had plagued his thoughts. They entered the warm store, the cool breeze leaving them as the door closed slowly. Patton walked up to the counter, feeling Thomas’ hand tighten around his own, he always got nervous going to new places. The barista looked up, doing a double-take when he realised who was in front of him. But of course, the man was straight, he had a child for god's sake! What made him think he had a chance? Nonetheless, he still gave Patton a small smirk, the corners of his lips barely lifting up.

“Good morning, what can I get for you today?” Patton tore his eyes away from the menu, daring to look at the man in front of him.

“Uh- hello again, you wouldn’t remember what I ordered yesterday would you?” Thomas squeezed his dad’s hand, rocking back and forth on his heels as he did.

“How could I forget, you were the one who’d forgotten their wallet.” Patton felt his cheeks heat up, ok, so the cute guy remembered him, who cares. Patton, obviously.

“Oh yeah, sorry about that. I’ve got it today though!” Patton grinned as the barista let out a soft chuckle, it sounded just as beautiful as he looked, it was deep, and a little raspy but boy did Patton want to hear it again.

“Alright, one tall caramel macchiato, is that all?” By now Thomas had wandered off to the pastry cabinet, he knew his father wouldn’t buy him anything if he was ill. Patton nodded to the question and paid for his drink, reminding the barista one more of his name, ‘Oh, just Patton again!’, before spinning around to find Thomas. But he was not prepared for who he’d seen next. Thomas was jumping up and down around a tall man who wore a white jacket and knitted red wool scarf, just like the scarf Patton had knit for his best friend all those years ago.

“Roman?” Patton stepped forward, both Thomas and the mystery man turning to look at the person who spoke.

“Hey Pat, you didn’t miss me too much did you?”

In that moment time had stopped, and Patton had forgotten about Thomas and his new crush. He rushed forward, melting in the warm embrace he’d longed for for years. Roman wrapped his strong arms around the shorter man, immediately remembering everything they’d been through. First loves, first heartbreaks, they were each other’s first kiss, Patton was the one who helped him rehearse for every play, and Roman was the one who helped Patton buy his flower shop. Logan watched along from behind the coffee machine, looks like the cute dad did like guys, except he already had a boyfriend. He was finishing Patton’s coffee when Virgil walked in, jumping up to sit on the counter in front of his nerdy brother. The two talked about Virgil’s studies as Logan shuffled over to the pastry cabinet, placing a blueberry muffin on the plate he was holding. Thomas’ eyes lit up as he saw the barista walking towards him, Patton’s coffee and a muffin in hand.

“Caramel macchiato for ‘Just Patton’-” Logan placed the coffee on the table the other three were sitting at, turning to look at the bouncing child behind him. “-And a blueberry muffin for you.” Thomas’ smile widened as Logan put the plate down, a small smirk tugging at his lips.

“Oh, I didn’t order a muffin, there must be a-” Patton glanced up at the still nameless man he was crushing on, and boy was he more handsome up close.

“No, no. It’s on the house, I noticed him staring at the cabinet earlier.” Logan let out a quiet chuckle, remembering how cute Thomas had looked a few minutes ago.

“Uh, thank you then, Mr.?” Patton stared into his chocolate eyes, awaiting the reveal of the beautiful barista.

“Woods, Logan Woods. And your friends are?” Logan felt himself heat up as he looked at Patton, noticing the freckles that were sprinkled across his nose and cheeks.

“Ah yes! This is Thomas, he’s my son, but you already guessed that. And this is Roman, you didn’t know his name?” Thomas moved over in the booth seat his was kneeling on, letting Logan slide in next to him.

“No I’m afraid I didn’t, he prefered the name ‘Prince’.” Patton let out a laugh as Roman looked at the father with a shocked look on his face.

“What’s so funny pouty mc specs?” Patton turned to look at Roman, failing to contain the giggles.

“Of course you still go by Prince, you’re so dramatic.” Roman cried out, throwing his hand across his forehead. As the two argued playfully back and forth Thomas tugged on the sleeve of Logan’s shirt, successfully gaining his attention. Logan looked down at the boy who was holding out a bit of the muffin he’d broken off, Thomas grinned as Logan took the offering, nearly moaning in delight at the taste. Blueberry muffins were definitely his favourite. Once he’d finished the small piece Thomas tore one off for himself, before offering another to Logan, which he gladly accepted.

“Sorry about that Logan, Roman can get quite passionate. I hope Thomas hasn’t been a bother.” Patton looked over to Logan and Thomas, smiling at the two sharing the muffin.

“Oh no he’s-” Logan finished eating the remaining muffin in his mouth before speaking again. “-Pardon me. But yes, Thomas was fine, not a bother in the slightest.” Before Patton could say anymore Virgil walked over, sitting himself on Logan’s lap. Throughout the coffee shop cries of protest could be heard from underneath Virgil as Logan struggled to push him off. Patton watched and felt his heart sting, of course he had a boyfriend.

“Anyway, thank you for the muffin but we should go open up shop. Come on Thomas.” Thomas slipped under the table crawling out the other side and grabbing his father's hand.

“Stop by anytime Ro.” Patton leant down, kissing the top of Roman’s head before leaving to his own store.

As much as Logan hated to see him leave, he loved to watch him go.

[galactic-pirates]

Fanfic Resolutions 2017

I’ve been avoiding writing one of these posts because I live in fear of publicly setting goals and then failing them. I mean I’m also scared of privately setting goals and then failing them, but at least then nobody else knows about it. However, something @worryinglyinnocent said in their post made me think, they said “It’ll be interesting coming back to this next January and seeing how well I did/didn’t do…”

Accountability is something that I believe in. The only reason why I manage to do anything is because I set deadlines, and schedules and endless to do lists. If I don’t set a target, then I can’t hit it and I just procrastinate for forever. Every month I’ve been saying what I did last month, and then saying my plans for the next month. Sometimes I’ve met the targets, sometimes I haven’t. Well, if I can do that, then I can do a tentative outline for the year. So here goes:

Under the cut because I ramble and nobody needs that on their dash :)

1) Finish my WIPs I have five of them now and I am absolutely rubbish at guesstimating length. That being said I’ll try ... - Fall All Over Again has 2-3 more chapters. - Counting Stars again 2-3 more chapters. - I Love the Way gets longer every time I post as I get more prompts, so feels like it could go on for forever, but let’s say rough estimate 3 more chapters. - Under My Skin has only just started but I’m going to say 4 more chapters. - Painting Layers of Love oh sweet merlin, it’s not even half done I don’t think. I don’t know if I dare guess. Maybe 8 more chapters, quite possibly more. I’m not going to artificially limit it, it’ll be as long as it takes to do it right.

So when is all this going to happen? Well Painting Layers of Love and Fall All Over Again chapters average at 4.5k each. The other three WIP’s have slightly shorter chapters at an average of 3.5k each. So excluding PLL because it’s so much longer, to finish the other 4 WIP’s if I’m right on my chapter guesses, I need to write 48.5k. Now I average 60k a month but I don’t just write rumbelle fanfic, I write other stuff as well.

So let’s be vaguely realistic here and say that I’ll write about 30k of fanfic per month. That means I can finish all the WIP’s except PLL (which will be updated a few times) by the end of February. Not fantastic, as that is basically the entire hiatus, and it doesn’t take into account Monthly Rumbelling fics, other events, or anything else I might feel like writing but unfortunately that’s reality. I will just have to do my best.

TLDR: I will finish all WIP’s except for Painting Layers of Love by the end of February. I wish I could say the same for PLL because it’s my most popular fic and I feel like I should probably work on nothing else but that, but it’s so much longer and I just can’t. I’m sorry, I will update it as often as I can.

2) Clear the list of ‘promised fic’ I never forget fic I promised, it just sometimes takes me a lot longer than it should. So on the list I have: - Untitled: GoldenLace Bonnie and Clyde (should have been December’s Monthly Rumbelling, but it got very long) - All I Needed (this is my pure prompt verse and I have half a dozen outstanding prompts I need to fill) - Untitled: Rushacy University (student/teacher oneshot) - Untitled: Renaissance Faire (from a prompt pic, oneshot) - Untitled: Lachacy (January Monthly Rumbelling, I don’t know if this will be on time either but I’ll try)

When are these going to happen? Well the prompts for All I Needed aren’t going to be huge chapters, just a few hundred words/a thousand or so at a time, so I can do those when I need something quick to write. Everything else? As and when I can I guess. I would like to finish the Lachacy this month to post on time for the Monthly Rumbelling event, but it’ll depend on how long it gets. Fics seem to be getting away from me lately.

3) New WIP’s I need to clear the decks before I start anything new. I remember when I thought having two WIP’s was crazy, and now I have 5. I have an idea list, full of ideas that I love but there are three which are top of the list: - Nightwalkers, which I’ve been promising since June. Basically murder in Storybrooke, Belle and Gold go undercover, fake dating, bedsharing all that good stuff. I did start writing this and I have a couple of chapters but I think they suck so I might throw them out and start again. - Ripple Effect, Rushbelle fic verse. I have already written one oneshot in this verse, and I have another planned separate from the main WIP which takes place on Destiny (the fic starting where SGU began at Icarus). I feel so guilty about this one because when I posted the idea, someone commented “oh I’ll keep a look out and see if you actually do write it” and my immediate response was “I’ll show them, I’ll write it!” and it’s still not happened /facepalm - it will though, I promise! - Rule Number Three (I should really stop calling it that), it’s my Enchanted Forest Rumbelle/Swanfire AU which the wish!Realm made me want to write even more. I had hoped to do this in the hiatus but I think I’ve already bitten off more than I can chew with my current WIPs.

When are these going to happen? I would love to say NOW because you know, I just want to write all the things, but for some reason writing takes a lot of time. If I’m thinking logically and realistically I’m not going to finish my WIP’s until the end of February if I’m lucky. Starting anything new before then would be stupid, but that won’t stop me from trying to do oneshots/Monthly Rumbelling etc. so my writing schedule is already jam-packed.

Realistically, as much as I would like to say different, there isn’t going to be progress on these new WIP’s until March at the earliest. Which one will I do first? I don’t know. I suppose it’ll be whatever I feel like, or maybe I will go crazy again and do them all at once. I don’t want to do that because I would like to learn a lesson from my current circumstance, and never have this many WIP’s at once again. However, I know me and I know I don’t learn, so it’s entirely possible I will be very stupid in future.

TLDR: No hope for anything until March at the earliest.

4) So Sam, you’ve only got up until March and look at all the rambling! Yeah well this was part of the reason why I didn’t want to write a post like this. I mean, it is helpful to think that I will be hopefully done with most of the WIP’s in a couple of months because right now it feels like I’ll never finish anything. At the same time I’m kinda disappointed about how long it’ll take to finish them, as I would like to write new shiny things.

Anyway, I’m not actually sure if this is how I’m supposed to do a post like this. I think it’s too rambling and I’m breaking the rules. I don’t know how the year will go, or what idea I’ll get next month which will throw a spanner in the works, or how long my ‘oneshot’ fics will turn out. I don’t know what the events/prompts will do to my carefully planned out schedule. I wish I could be more definitive than I have been but I just don’t know.

I do promise to update something every single Tuesday, I’ve managed that for the past several months and it’s not a posting streak I’m willing to break now. This Tuesday will be Chapter Two of Counting Stars. Ideally I would like to update every Friday as well, and it’ll be regular and you can count on it. I miss the days when I updated The War Within every Tuesday, and Painting Layers of Love every other Friday. I like routine but I have too many WIP’s to have such a simple update schedule now.

2017 will bring a bucketload of fic either way. Oh and best of all, I don’t need to wait until next January to laugh at myself if I screw it up - I’ll know by March haha :)