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kentsjohnson91 · 3 months ago

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𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐓, 𝐀𝐒 𝐈 𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 ᶜᵍ⁶¹

in which after months of distance and unspoken feelings, cutter asks you to marry him.

warnings: death, cemeteries

You and Cutter first met during your guys' first year at Boston college. It was a quiet fall afternoon, which you spent studying in a quaint coffee shop on campus. You were buried in your laptop, working on an essay for one of your classes, when Cutter, fresh off the ice from practice, accidentally bumped into your table, spilling some of his coffee. He apologized profusely, offering to buy you another drink and another cute shirt if the stain didn't come out. What started as a small accident turned into a conversation about the lives you lived at BC, and soon, you were meeting up regularly. Cutter was fascinated by your depth and drive, and you were charmed by his down to earth nature.

Almost two years later, Cutter's sitting across from you at his favorite café in Anaheim. While it wasn't the same as the coffee shop at BC, it had that same warm, cozy atmosphere that reminded him so much of you. It had been awhile since the two of you had seen each other, with him signing with the Ducks back in April and you staying at BC for some summer classes. But, the two of you were here now. While the city buzzed around you, your little corner felt like its own world.

Cutter grinned from ear to ear, his excitement radiating off every inch of his body, "So, how's everything been? It feels like forever since we've had a real chance to catch up."

You smiled softly at how excited he was, "It does, doesn't it? Life's been a bit hectic, but good. School's keeping me busy - statistics is kicking my ass, as always."

Cutter laughed, reminiscing on all the late nights he spent teaching you the material in that class, "You never were good at statistics."

You rolled your eyes, "Yeah, yeah, enough. But I've been trying to take things slower, enjoy the little moments more. How about you? How's Anaheim treating you, hot shot?"

He winced at the nickname, but truthfully, he was glad you used it. You had gifted it to him after one of the Beanpot games freshmen year, when you realized just how much talent he possessed on the ice. Ever since then, it was used in practically every conversation the two of you shared. Cutter quickly grew tired of it, but he hadn't heard it in so long that it brought him a comforting sense of familiarity, one that made him realize that you were truly right in front of him for the first time in months.

"Anaheim's been great," he smiled, "The team's looking good this season, but, you know, things can change. Some days it's tough to balance everything, but being out on the ice, that's where I feel like myself."

You nodded, "I get that. It's good to hear you're doing well, though. I've been keeping an eye on your games whenever I can. You've been killing it."

He smirked, never being one to decline a chance to tease you, "Oh yeah? You're my biggest fan now?"

You laughed, quickly matching his energy, "I've actually been watching for Leo. But you know, it's hard to ignore you when you're on the same line."

He grabbed his chest, feigning hurt. You rolled your eyes, giving him a playful shove, "Always have been, you know that."

Cutter's smile softened as he looked at you. There was an ease between the two of you, something that hadn't changed despite the time and distance, "I've missed this, you know? Just being able to sit with you, talk about life. Feels like I've been missing something lately."

You nodded softly, speaking quietly, "Yeah, I've missed it too. It's weird, right? How you don't realize how much someone means to you until you haven't seen them in awhile."

He nodded, his knuckles rapping softly against the table, "Yeah, exactly. I've been thinking about that a lot recently. About us. About how no matter how crazy life gets, this... you and me, it always feels like home."

You raised your eyebrow, curious as to what he was talking about. It wasn't that you didn't necessarily feel the same, but you wanted to know where he was coming from with that statement, "What do you mean?"

Cutter took a deep breath, suddenly feeling his heart race a little, "I guess I just realized that I don't want to keep missing you. I don't want to look back and wonder why I didn't make more time for us... for you."

You watched him closely, sensing the shift in his tone, the seriousness behind his words. He reached into his pocket, his voice steady but filled with emotion.

His heart pounded as he looked at you, and the boy tried to gather his thoughts. He knew that he was about to say something that would change everything, and he wanted nothing more than to get it right. He took a deep breath, his eyes softening as he began to speak.

His voice was low, but you could sense the sincerity in it, "Y/N... I've loved you for as long as I can remember. Ever since that day we met back at Boston College... do you remember? I spilled my coffee all over you. I had no clue who you were, but I was so flustered, apologizing over and over. And I just remember thinking, 'Man, this girl is something special'."

He chuckled lightly, the memory warming the moment between the two of you, "I don't even think you realized that I was staring at you the whole time. You were so caught up in the rush and finishing your essay, but all I could think was, 'I've gotta know her'. And then, when we finally started talking, everything just clicked. It wasn't just about how easy it was to be around you... it was the way you looked at the world, like there was always something more to discover. You challenged me. You made me want to be better."

You listened quietly, your eyes never leaving his. There was something different in his eyes, a depth that hadn't been there before.

Cutter's voice grew softer, more intense, "And over time, that feeling never went away. Through everything - hockey, all the travel, the time apart - you've always been this constant in my life. You're the one person who gets me, even when I don't say anything. It's like you see me, the real me, and you always have," he paused for a moment, his emotions thick in the air between you two, "I've been thinking a lot lately about how much time has passed. All the moments we've shared, all the moments we didn't because of everything else going on in our lives. And I don't want to go another day without telling you this. I don't want to go another day without you knowing that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I've known it for a long time... that you're it for me. I've known it since that day on campus."

He pulled the ring from his pocket, holding it out in front of you, his voice steady but filled with emotion, "Will you marry me?"

Cutter held his breath as he watched you, the ring resting in his palm between you. His heart pounded in his chest, each second stretching into what felt like an eternity. He couldn't tell if the look in your eyes is surprise, joy, or something else entirely. The air between the two of you felt heavy, filled with unspoken emotions. His hand shook slightly, though he tried to keep it steady, his mind racing with what you might say. Doubts and hopes swirled together as he studied your face, searching for any sign of your answer. The silence felt deafening, and in that moment, it was as if the whole world had narrowed down to just this - you, him, and the question hanging in the air.

Finally, there was a break in the silence. But it wasn't from you.

"Cutter!" Trevor yelled, and suddenly, he was back to reality.

Cutter blinked as he realized where he was. He knelt beside your gravestone, his voice barely a whisper as he spoke to the engraved letters, the memories of you flooding his heart. The small ring still rested in his hand, a promise he never got the chance to make. His chest felt heavy, and the silence of the cemetery was both comforting and crushing.

Trevor rushed towards him, kneeling beside him gently, "You missed morning practice. Leo and I have been looking for you for hours."

Cutter didn't move at first, his hand tightening around the ring as he slowly looked up. Trevor's expression was soft, filled with the kind of worry reserved for close friends. Behind him, Leo hovered, unsure whether to come closer.

"Are you alright, man?"

Trevor's voice was quieter now, and his eyes flickered down to the gravestone, realization dawning on his face. He glanced back at Cutter, who still hadn't said a word, and the weight of the moment settled in around them. Cutter's gaze dropped back to the headstone, the pain fresh as ever.

"I just... I just needed to talk to her."

Trevor's heart ached for his friend as he stepped closer, placing a hand on the younger boy's shoulder. Cutter still didn't move, lost in the quiet conversation he had been having with you, even though you weren't there to answer.

Trevor and Leo shared a look, silently understanding that Cutter needed more time. Without saying another word, they both stepped back, giving him space. Trevor squeezed his shoulder once more before walking away, leading Leo toward the path that would lead the pair out of the cemetery. The quiet returned, and Cutter was alone again with you, the stillness pressing down at him.

He stared at your gravestone, his heart aching with everything left unsaid. The small ring in his hand felt heavier than ever, bearing the weight of the promise he never got to make. Slowly, Cutter lifted it to his lips, kissing it gently as a final gesture of love, a goodbye he never thought he'd have to give.

"I love you, Y/N/N. Always will."

His voice cracked with emotion as he knelt down, placing the ring carefully at the base of your headstone. He lingered for a moment, his hand resting on the cold stone, before finally standing up, wiping the tears from his eyes. With one last look, Cutter turned and walked away, leaving the ring behind as a piece of his heart that would always belong to you.

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kentsjohnson91 · 2 months ago

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reblogging because i think this fic deserves more love