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silent-stories · 2 years

Text

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐅

Pairing: Eddie x F!Reader

Summary: Ever since Eddie sat next to you on the picnic bench outside his trailer you've become friends and you've grown closer and closer. He drives you to school, sneaks through your window almost every night and you hang out together, but when he realizes you'd be better off without Eddie 'the freak' Munson, he has to push you away and break your heart in the process. Will he realize his mistake is hurting both of you and fix things between you before it's too late?

Warnings: fluff, angst, parents fighting, drinking, language

Eddie watched you through his bedroom window as you stepped out of your trailer slamming the door behind you and sat on a picnic bench.

You ran a hand through your hair trying to keep it in place despite the wind that had picked up that afternoon and you raised a arm to protect yourself from the sun's rays hitting your face.

Eddie had never spoken to you before. He saw you every time you picked Henderson up after a D&D campaign (even though he complained that he was old enough to go home alone) and his gaze found himself a few too many times looking for you in the school cafeteria and in the hallways, but he never spoke to you.

It had become a habit to think that most of the students who were not within his social circle wanted nothing to do with him and he knew that you hanged out with Steve Harrington and his friends, so he assumed it was best to keep his distance even though Dustin said you were his friend and a good person first of all.

There were rumors that you were dating Harrington and Eddie sometimes thought that was really true, he was popular and rich and you were pretty and your smile could light up a whole room. Not that he ever paid any attention to your smile to know that.

He thought maybe it was kinda creepy but he couldn't stop looking at you when he noticed your hands playing nervously with each other as you kept your gaze downcast and fixed. Was everything okay?

Eddie turned down the volume of the metal music that was coming from the stereo on the desk, and that was probably also heard on the opposite side of Hawkings, in order to think.

If he came out to ask if you were okay would it just scare you and make it worse? Would you run away from the freak?

When you brought a hand to your mouth to bite your nails and your leg bouced at lightning speed he knew something was definitely wrong.

The idea that you were sitting waiting for him to come out to ask him to buy drugs crossed his mind, many of his customers had that nervous behavior before a deal.

He had to admit that if the first time you spoke to him it was to buy marijuana he would be disappointed, to say the least.

He finally turned off the radio and glanced at the leather jacket and denim vest resting on his bed and, realizing that it was too hot for those, and came out of the trailer with only an old black sabbath t-shirt and some overall trousers that he used to sleep in.

"Hey." Eddie announced his presence when there were only a few steps between you two.

Your head shot up and your gaze met a pair of kind brown eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He raised the palms of his hands as if to show you that he meant you no harm.

"It's okay. You didn't." You moved on the bench, shifting to the right side.

Initially Eddie thought you were trying to increase the distance between you and him but then he realized you were making room for him to sit.

You wanted him to sit next to you.

He waited a moment, giving you time to reconsider, then took a seat next to you and your shoulders brushed as he did so.

"I…just wanted to ask if everything was okay. I saw you alone and it seemed like something was wrong but… you know what? It's stupid, you probably just wanted to be alone and I'm…" Eddie rambled.

Great, he thought, he was already embarrassing himself. It had to be a record.

"They're fighting." You interrupted him, pointing with your index finger to the trailer where you lived.

Only at that moment Eddie heard screams coming from inside. The voices belonged to a male and a female: your parents.

"I'm sorry." That was all he could say. But he was sincere, he knew what it felt like, he'd been there too.

"And I'm glad you're here now." One corner of your lips quirked up and Eddie swore he could have died right then.

“Actually, I came here because I heard music coming from your trailer. Usually it always manages to drown out their screams but this time they were right in front of my bedroom door so I went out. When I heard yours I thought getting closer would help."

You didn't even know why you were telling such private things to someone you barely knew but had a good feeling about him and decided to go with your gut.

"I discovered metal the same way." Eddie confessed, surprising even himself, he knew he didn't have to share such intimate parts of himself with people, parts that could be used against him one day. "When I was about eight and tired of hearing my parents fighting I turned on the radio hoping to find some kind of music loud enough to cover their voices . And I found metal so I did it."

Since that day Eddie had used metal to cover even the thoughts in his head but he decided to omit it.

You chuckled at the last part. "I'm sure metal could cover even a zombie apocalypse."

"Oh, I'm sure it could. I think I'll use this idea in the next D&D campaign." Eddie laughed.

"Please let Dustin win. Last time he sulked the entire ride because he was "dead"."

"Let him win? In Dungeons and Dragons you don't let someone win, you fight to the death if necessary! And he was a brave fighter." Eddie said in a solemn tone making you burst out laughing.

"I'll let him know."

When silnce fell between you and Eddie, you realized that you no longer heard the voices of your parents. "Finally."

"You'll see, things will get better." It didn't mean that because they never did for him, they didn't for everyone. He just wanted to let you know that you weren't alone.

You nodded. "Thank you, Eddie."

In that moment he realized that neither of you introduced themself to the other but you both knew your names. That you knew his name.

"I did nothing." Eddie shrugged as he glanced at his watch. "Shit, I'm late for practice."

"Practice?" You asked curious.

"Yeah, I'm in band, Corroded Coffin." Eddie said jumping off the bench.

"Band? Okay, you'll tell me about it next time, now go."

Next time.

You wanted to talk to him again.

You wanted to see him again.

"Alright, you sure you're okay?"

"I am, really. Thank you. Now go. I don't want you to be late because of me." You offered him a smile.

"Okay." He nodded "See you, then."

"See you."

Eddie looked at you one last time before disappearing behind the door of his house to get everything he needed, thinking that for the first time he wished he were still there talking to you instead of meeting the band.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

That morning when you woke up you found a note left by your mother saying that she had taken the car to go to a job interview and that meant no car to go to school.

You were walking to the nearest bus stop when you heard a voice calling your name.

"Hey, need a ride?"

A van pulled up next to you and Eddie leaned out the window.

"It's okay, I can walk."

Eddie wondered if you said it because you didn't want to disturb him or because you were afraid to lock yourself in the vehicle with him, fearing what he might do to you. But then he thought about the way your shoulders relaxed when he sat next to you on the picnic bench a few days before and the sound of your laugh when he said something stupid.

No, you weren't like that. For some weird reason you didn't seem to be afraid of him like like most of the school, and of Hawkings.

"Yeah, I think if you walk you'll get to school around eight... of tomorrow." He joked.

You laughed, he was probably right.

"C'mon." He said opening the passenger door.

"Thank you." You said sitting next to him as he restarted the engine.

"So... what do you play?" You asked after a few moments.

"What?"

"You said you're in a band. What do you play?" You asked again.

Eddie was amazed both that you remembered and that you wanted to know. The ghost of a smile appeared on his lips.

"What do you think I play?"

"Since I'm pretty sure you're James Hetfield's lost twin? I'll go with the guitar."

Eddie let out a laugh that he couldn't hold back this time. "Is that a compliment? I guess I'll take it as a compliment."

"Don't let it go to your head now."

When you got close enough to the school, Eddie parked the van and you both got out, walking side by side.

"I'm going to graduate this year, you know." Eddie said, talking both to himself and to you.

“If you start showing up to class a little more I'm sure you will. Because you know, we're in the same biology class but you haven't come once since the beginning of the year. The tracher thought there was a mistake with the names on the list."

Eddie rolled his eyes. "I don't like biology."

You glared at him.

"But I'll come, sooner or later."

Your glare only intensified.

"Okay, okay I'll come to biology soon. Really soon. Happy?"

"Yes, thank you." You laughed.

"I swear I'm really trying this year, it's my year. I feel it." He added.

As you walked closer and closer to the school, a boy and girl, probably a senior, passed you by. The girl glanced your way and said something in the boy's ear and he laughed without trying to hide it.

"Hey I....I think I forgot something in the van, see you soon okay?" Eddie said as he stopped walking.

"Uhm…okay. Is something wrong?" You furrowed your eyebrows trying to read his expression.

"Don't worry. Everything's fine, just forgot my cigs. See you, sweetheart."

With these last words he walked away again, heading in the direction from where you had come.

You didn't say anything wrong, right?

Only when Eddie was so far away that you couldn't see the red in his flannel anymore you realized he'd called you "sweetheart".

You honestly really liked the way it sounded.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Eddie had suddenly left you because, after seeing the two students looking at you and then whisper and laugh to each other, he understood that it was not good for you to be seen around with him. He didn’t want people to find out you two were friends now.

Because that was what you were now, right? You had become friends.

He didn't want people to start spreading bad rumors about you too, you didn't deserve it and he didn't want it to be his fault.

As he was walking aimlessly a jock passed by him and although Eddie moved to increase the space between them, he still collided with Eddie on purpose.

"Hey, watch where you go, freak!" he yelled as he walked away.

That was exactly what Eddie was thinking about. He didn't want to condemn you and if they saw you hanging out with him people would start talking about you too and it was the last thing Eddie wanted to happen to one of the very few people who had been nice to him at school and in his whole life .

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

It was night, but you couldn't sleep and you were reading a book lying on your bed by the light of your bedside lamp when you heard a noise.

Knock knock

You looked around, trying to locate the source of the noise.

Your eyes rested on the window.

Someone was knocking at the window of your room. You placed the book on the bedside table and opened the window, looking down as the cool night air hit your face to find Eddie Munson standing right under it.

"Hey, Y/N!" He said with a smile raising a hand to greet you as if it were a common thing to show up at that hour at someone's house.

"Jesus Christ, lower your voice. What are you doing here?"

"Is this how you greet your friends, Y/N?" He crossed his arms over his chest in mock offense.

"In my defense, it's almost 1a.m."

He rolled his eyes. "I'll be quick, I promise you."

"Eddie, what are you talking about-" You didn't have time to finish the sentence that he grabbed the edge of the window and climbed inside.

He sad on the border, resting his feet on the wooden floor of your room and you gave him a reproachful look. "You're really agile. Have you ever thought about joining the basketball team?"

"Oh, that hurt, Y/N. Watch your mouth or I could commit suicide right now." He replied by pointing to the void below him.

"If you jump down you'll break your arm at best, it's not worth it."

Eddie completely ignored your comment. "Who knew you had an Anthrax poster on your bedroom wall!" He commented as he looked around, realizing it was his first time in there, or in your house.

The trailers were all the same but Eddie liked how you decorated your bedroom.

His hair was tacky because of the way he got into your room and you resisted the urge to push it behind his ears.

"I really am a woman of a thousand secrets." You said "Come on, Eddie, why are you here? What do you want?"

What did he want? In fact, he wasn't sure either. He wanted to keep seeing you but he didn't want people to know about it. He wanted to keep hearing your voice and laugh without people starting bullying you or without making you loose your friends because of him. Honestly, he only came there because when he was with you he felt happy and safe and he wanted to see you even just for a few minutes but he had already thought of a credible and not entirely false excuse.

"Well, I was wondering if there was a chance you might have some notes on Shakespeare and if by any chance you'd be kind enough to let me copy it for a test I have in two days." He finished the sentence with a hopeful smile.

"Didn't you say you were going to start working hard and stuff?" You said looking for the english notebook in the backpack at the foot of the bed.

"I know and I'm sorry, I swear next-" He stopped when you pressed a few sheets of paper against his chest.

"Ohmygod, thank you!" He basically yelled, "You are the best, really."

"I said lower your voice, dumbass. If my mom finds out you're here, she'll kill both of us."

"She'll have to walk over my dead body to get to you."

"Well, I like you alive."

Eddie knew you were both joking and that the things you were saying didn't really matter but he loved that "I like you."

"I'll let you sleep now, okay? I'll give you everything back tomorrow, cross on my heart." He opened again the window and got ready to jump down.

You nodded. "It's okay."

"Goodnight sweetheart." he said before disappearing.

"Goodnight." you murmured, even if he was already gone.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

It was a funny story, how you got in detention.

You were walking down the hallway on the way to your math class when you saw a cheerleader talking to Dustin.

Her name was Anne or Claire maybe, you didn't remember and you didn't care but Dustin didn't seem too happy to hear what she was saying.

"Do you know what happens to kids who are part of satanic cults? I tell tou, they are sacrificed." She laughed.

"I've told you a hundred times, I'm not in a cult and..."

"I'm sure that's what that freak made you believe."

"Okay, enough. Don't you have a class to go to?" You interrupted her.

"Oh, but we were just having a friendly conversation."

"It didn't look like one. Now we have to go." You said putting a hand on Dustin's back and starting to walk away.

"You know, there are rumors that you're dating him. The freak." The girl's voice made you stop.

You turned around.

"I am. And it's not your problem." And with that you left.

"Is that true? Are you going out with Eddie? He's always talking about you." Dustin asked.

"We're friends. I like him but we are not dating."

A toothy smile appeared on Dustin's face.

During cheerleading practice that afternoon, Claire-Anne-whoever feel and hit her face on the floor. The next day at school, everyone was talking about the bruise on her cheekbone was caused by you hitting her.

"I didn't do anything." You defend yourself in front of the principal.

“So how do you explain her bruise?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

"She fell cartwheeling because she sucks, it's not my fault."

"She told the whole school you hit her."

"Because she's a bitch too."

And with that you earned your detention. Maybe it wasn't such a funny story after all.

It was unfair, but at least you were with Eddie. With Eddie -if-I-smoke-in-the-bathroom-no-one-will-catch-me Munson.

"I know you didn't hit her." Eddie whispered trying not to be heard by the teacher who was supposed to monitor you during the hours of detention.

"And I know you were definitely smoking in the bathroom." You replied.

"You have so little faith in me?" He brought a hand to his chest.

"No, but I know you well enough to know you were smoking in the bathroom."

"Silence." The teacher stepped in.

After a few minutes you spoke again. "I can go to the bathroom?"

The teacher glared at you.

"If you want, I'll pee in the bin."

"Go."

You left the classroom and after a few seconds Eddie spoke again.

"Can I go get something from the snak machine outside?"

The teacher looked up from the book he was reading.

"No."

"I'm hungry. And if you don't let me go, I'll have to drink your blood."

She stared at him for a moment.

"Go. Quick."

Eddie left the class but before he could reach the dispenser, you caught up with him.

"The window in the bathroom is open." You whispered.

"I think it's because of the smell."

"No, I mean we can leave."

Eddie stared at you for a second, weighing your idea.

"Let's go." You said grabbing his arm and heading towards the girls' bathroom.

Eddie offered his hand as you put your feet up on the toilet and reached the window. His hand was warmer than you expected and his rings didn't feel cold against your skin.

When you jumped to the other side, Eddie did the same right after you.

"And here you go. Freedom." You said spreading your arms outwards.

"Who knew Y/N was a criminal." Eddie laughed as you walked away from the school.

"Oh, I'm not. I did it because my punishment was unfair. But yours..."

"Oh, shut up."

You laughed. "Okay."

Eddie drove you home in his van, which was becoming a habit by now.

"Thank you." You said when you arrived.

"She doesn't seem happy." Eddie said pointing to a figure just outside your trailer.

Your mom was waiting for you with her arms crossed and her face more than pissed.

"She never is. It's okay. Thanks for the ride, Ed." You said as he got out of the car.

"Where were you?" Your mom asked.

"With a friend."

She glanced at Eddie. "Is that your friend?"

"Any problem?"

"Yes, he's the problem. Have you seen him? He looks like a criminal."

You rolled your eyes. "You don't know him."

"I wish you didn't either."

"I say that agin, you don't know him. Stop judging, he's sweet."

You finally got in and Eddie could no longer hear your conversation.

Great, your mom didn't like it. It wasn't weird, Eddie was disliked by almost everyone.

He thought back to what you said: "he's sweet". It was the last word Eddie would describe himself with, but what if you said it? It would probably be the only thing he thought about for days.

Despite this though, the words "I wish you didn't either" and "He looks like a criminal" also stuck in his mind.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

"You're lucky I wasn't sleeping." You commented as Eddie jumped into your room and you closed the window behind him.

Eddie was sneaking into your room at least once a week now, and you liked being used to it, although since your mom told you she didn't want you to see Eddie, you both had to be careful not to get caught.

Eddie still thought about your mom's words, maybe it was better if he started seeing you less, to cause you less problems, but then he always found himself in your room almost every night.

"You can say that you wait up for me every night, you know?" He laughed as he adjusted his leather jacket.

You rolled your eyes as you sat on the edge of the bed and Eddie stopped in front of you. "Is there a reason you're here or you just wanted to spend some time with your amazing friend right here?"

"Actually," he said, pulling a crumpled piece of paper out of the pocket of his black jeans, "I wanted to show you this."

He handed it to you and you took it in your hads.

"Did you find it in the trash by any chance?" You joked.

"Oh c'mon. Open it and see."

When you did, you saw a lot of calculations and writing in black pen and, at the top, inside a red circle there was a "B-".

A smile formed on your lips.

"Hey, that's amazing!" You exclaimed before remembering that your parents were asleep and shouldn't have known someone was with you.

Eddie covered your mouth with his hand. "Jesus Christ, I think not only your parents heard you but the whole neighborhood as well."

"Some manners, man." You laughed after you swiped his hand away from his face pretending you didn't like the feel of his skin against yours. "And don't worry, they are deep sleepers."

"So?" He asked moving his gaze between the sheet of paper and you, hopefully staring at you with his big brown eyes, waiting for an answer.

"I'm proud of you." You said and a huge grin appeared on Eddie's face.

You knew that he no longer had his parents and that probably not many people told him that they were proud of him and his achievements so that had become your job.

He sat on your bed talking for a while until you heard footsteps in the hallway and Eddie had to leave in a hurry.

"Be careful." You recommended as he sat on the edge of the window.

"Don't worry. I'm like a cat, I have nine lives." He said as he got ready to jump.

"A cat? I've always seen you more as a raccoon or maybe a bat."

He laughed shaking his head. "See you tomorrow, sweetheart."

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

"Hey, freak!" Jason Carver walked up to Eddie in the hallway.

He huffed. "What do you want again?"

"I heard you have a girlfriend now." He teased him.

Eddie furrowed his eyebrows.

"I'm talking about Y/N."

"She's not-"

"You know, she used to be cool. But now? Hanging out with people like you? Not anymore. I hope she realizes her mistake soon, before she becomes like you."

That was what Eddie was afraid of. People could be really mean and he didn't want them to be mean to you just because you were his friend.

A voice called Jason from afar and, after one last look, he walked away.

Eddie found himself standing in the hallway whitout knowing what to do.

He knew it was better for you if you stopped seeing each other but he didn't want to lose you.

He had never found himself in a similar situation, usually people stayed away from him and now, when he finally found someone kind and nice, who treated him like a human being, like a friend, he felt the need to push her away.

The universe really hated him.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

"Wayne?" Eddie sat down on the couch next to him, "I need to ask you something and you have to be honest with me."

Wayne looked up at his nephew. "What did you do this time?"

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Nothing, I didn't do anything. I just have to ask your opinion about something."

Wayne remained silent, trying to figure out what was going on.

"If you knew someone...and you liked them, really liked them and if they were nice to you and you loved the sound of their laugh and the way your shoulders brushed when you walked next to each other, and just seeing them for five minutes in the morning would make your day a good day... but you knew that they would be better off without you, what would you do?"

"Okay, Eddie what's going on?"

"Nothing, really. Answer please?"

"I'd tell them. That they'd be better off without me. Or I'd make up an excuse. And then I'd walk away from their life. But only if I'm really sure they would be happier without me."

Eddie swallowed. He expected this answer but hearing it so directly was different.

Now he just had to follow his advice.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

You knew that something was wrong as soon as Eddie jumped down the window and entered your room: the usual smile he had every time he saw you was completely absent.

"Hey, what's going on?" You asked sitting cross-legged on your bed as he sat on the edge next to you after taking off his shoes, as he used to.

"Nothing, I just wanted to see you." He murmured as he stared straight ahead, playing with his hands in his lap. His body was tense and stiff.

He'd come intending to tell you that you should stop seeing each other but as soon as he saw you he knew he couldn't even if he tried to vomit the words out of his mouth.

The desire to punch the wall in frustration was immense.

He had to do it, he had to do it to protect you, he had to do it for your mom, for the students at school and for the rest of Hawkings.

"Something is definitely wrong." You commented again.

He shook his head.

He didn't think it would be that hard, the words "I can't see you anymore" or "we should stop hanging out" weren't complicated, yet he felt like something was blocking his throat and stopping his voice from coming out.

"Eddie" You said placing a hand on his knee "I know you well enough to see when something is wrong and-"

"Can I hug you?"

His words surprised you.

"Eddie, what-"

"Please."

He sounded just like a scared little kid. What the hell happened?

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pushed him against you, you immediately felt his arms enveloping you and his hands squeezing the fabric of your shirt as if he didn't you'd disappear, as if his life depended on it.

"I don't know what happened, Eddie. But I'm here." You whispered.

"I know." Not for long, he thought.

You left a kiss on his cheek while your hand caressed the side of his face.

"Do you want to stay?"

Eddie wanted to stay there with you for the rest of his life.

"I can't."

"C'mon, just one night. My parents won't find out. You'll leave in the morning."

Eddie decided that the next day he would say goodbye once and for all, so he might as well enjoy the last moments with you.

"Okay." He said.

You pulled down the blanket and lay down on the bed, he immediately after you.

He rested his head on the pillow and turned his head towards you, his face only inches from yours. "Are you sure you want me to stay?"

"I'm sure." You said first turn off the light - as Eddie took off the rings and placed them on your bedside table - and curl up next to Eddie, your back pressed against his chest.

You heard Eddie move slightly.

"Y/N, can I-?"

"You can." You muttered before feeling his arm wrap around your waist and push you even closer to him.

You placed your hand on his and he buried his face in your hair, breathing a sigh of relief as if being close to you would ease some kind of pain.

"Goodnight sweetheart." You heard him murmur as he left a kiss on your head.

"Goodnight Eddie."

You were already sleeping when a tear silently crossed Eddie's cheek and fell on your pillow.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

When you opened your eyes, the first light of day filtered through the window.

Eddie's arm was no longer around you. You turned to find him sitting on the edge of the bed, you could only see his back, his unkempt hair and the shape of his shoulder blades.

"Hey, good morning." You mumbled.

"I don't want to see you anymore."

"What?" You sat up on the bed, the sheet slipped off your body.

"I don't want to see you anymore. We should stop going out and stuff." He stood up.

"Eddie, what the hell are you talking about?"

"It's just...it doesn't work." He gestured between the two of you, "this isn't working."

"Are you saying that because you slept here? I asked you to stay because you're my friend and I care about you and-"

"No, it's just…I have more important things to do than hang out with you, okay? That's all." He slipped on his shoes as if what he was saying mattered in the slightest.

You shifted the sheets and got out of bed, your feet tracing the cold floor, following Eddie. "That's all? Eddie, I thought we…that there was something."

"You thought wrong. Now I gotta go." He opened the window and sat on the edge.

"Eddie, wait." He jumped off.

You stared at the window curtains moving in the wind.

It was not possible. It wasn't possible that he was suddenly no longer interested in you. That he didn't care anymore.

You looked around, suddenly your room was too big and too empty.

You sat at the foot of the bed and brought your knees up to your chest, burying your head in your arms as you started getting a weird feeling in your stomach and chest.

You thought back to his firm tone and impassive face as he spoke.

It wasn't possible that he didn't care about you anymore.

Right?

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

About a week later you were pretty sure Eddie didn't give a shit about you anymore.

You'd been waiting like a stupid every night in your room, staring at the window and hoping to see him come in. You had hoped that he would come and talk to you in the corridor or at least say hello.

Nothing.

He had also stopped showing up at biology class.

You kept thinking that there must be a reason that caused this sudden change in his behavior but you couldn't find one.

And, even though it had only been a week since you last spoke to him, you missed him.

You missed knowing that he was there if you needed, you missed talking to him, his jokes. You missed his chocolate brown eyes and his smile.

You missed the way he always opened his van door to let you in and you missed his "sweetheart".

"Okay, what happened?" Dustin asked as he got into your car.

"What?"

"Eddie. Have you two had a fight or something?" He asked.

Did you have a fight? You didn't even know it.

"I... no, I don't think so."

"You don't think so?"

"Dustin, I don't know. Maybe I did something to piss him off. Last week he told me he didn't want to see me anymore and then he stopped talking to me or saying hello or… remembering I existed."

Dustin furrowed his eyebrows. "Weird, this is weird even Eddie. I'll talk to him about it."

"No." You hastened to say. "It was his decision. If that's what he wants, then that's fine."

"And do you think this is what he wants? In just one week he got a D in history and an F in math and the last campaign was a total disaster. A game of cards would have been more interesting and with Eddie, D&D is always amazing. That's not what he wants, he doesn't want to live a life that you're not in, believe me. There's got to be something going on."

You huffed. "I was getting used to having Eddie in my life. It was... it was nice."

Dustin smiled slightly at your words. "I'll try to figure out what's going on."

"Thank you, kid."

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It had been days, Dustin still hadn't made Eddie talk and you felt more and more like a part of you was missing with him too.

The worst thing was that you couldn't hate him, even if you wanted to.

At 2am you were still staring at your bedroom window as if Eddie might appear at any moment.

"You're so stupid, Y/N." You talked to yourself as you finally made up your mind to get into bed and try to sleep.

In that moment, the phone on your nightstand rang.

Who the hell was calling at 2am?

You sat on the edge of the bed and picked up the phone.

"Y/N..."

"Eddie?"

"Hey." He only said two words, but you already knew something was wrong with his voice.

"Eddie, you're drunk." It wasn't a question, you just knew it.

He paused. "I'm sorry."

You didn’t know if he was sorry for the way he had been treating you for the past few weeks, if he was because he was calling you in the middle of the night or because he was drunk.

"What do you want, Eddie?" The question came out in a harsher tone that you wanted to.

"I know you hate me. You... you have every right to." he said, slurring.

"But?"

"But you're the only person who can give me a ride home right now. You're the only one I know who would."

"What makes you think so?"

"Because you are like that. You...you care about people. And I know the way I treated you…it was awful and you probably hate me but I…I need you now."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why don't you want to see me anymore?"

Silence.

"Eddie?"

"Please, can you pick me up?"

He didn't even answer your question. All he cared about was a ride home.

He was acting like an ass, you should have hung up after telling him to go fuck himself, that he couldn't ignore you all that time and then only called you when he needed you.

But a part of you also wanted to tell him that you missed him like air and that it scared the shit out of you.

"Y/N?" His voice brought you back to reality, he was still waiting for an answer.

"You know what? That... that was stupid. I shouldn't have called you. I'm sorry... about everything." he muttered. "You don't have to come, I...I'll wait here. Can you...can you just talk? I...I miss the sound of your voice."

If he really missed you he wouldn't treat you like that. Right?

"Are you still there?"

You huffed, you were about to do a very stupid thing.

"Eddie."

You heard his sigh of relief in hearing your voice saying his name again.

"Where are you?"

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You parked outside the bar and got out of your car.

Eddie was sitting on the ground, under the neon with the name of the place, near the phone booth he'd called you from.

He had remembered your number even though he was drunk, you thought as you walked in his direction.

Only a few voices were coming from the bar talking, Eddie hadn't gone to some kind of party and drank too much, he had gotten drunk sitting alone in the corner of a small bar away from the city centre.

"Get up."

Eddie raised his head. "You really came." He said surprised.

His breath stank of alcohol and his eyes were red.

"I said, get up." You grabbed his arm and pulled him up.

Eddie staggered dangerously and you placed a hand on his chest to keep him from falling.

"Jesus Christ." he muttered.

You let him wrap his arm around your shoulders and led him to your car, then sat next to him.

You leaned your head back on the seat with a weary sigh, staring at the club lights ahead of you.

When you felt like you were being watched, you turned your head towards Eddie to find him staring at you with his bloodshot eyes.

"What?" You asked.

"You are so pretty."

You shook your head. "And you are so drunk."

"Both true."

You sighed again. "What the fuck is going on Eddie? First you ignore me for weeks, then you call me in the middle of the night because you're drunk and tell me that..."

"I'm sorry. I did it for a reason I... I can't explain."

You let out a cold laugh. "Yes, of course. Of course."

You started the car.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

"Here we are." You said parking halfway between your trailer and his. "Is your uncle at home?"

Eddie shook his head and searched all the pockets of his leather jacket for the key, only to find it in his jeans.

You grabbed it and got out of the car followed by Eddie who, a little unsteady, took a few steps.

"I live here?" He asked.

"God, how much the fuck did you drink?" You asked yourself more than him as you placed a hand on his back and ushered him into the trailer after opening the door with the key.

When you reached his room, Eddie dropped onto the bed, sitting up with his back against the wooden headboard.

His room was messy, the walls were full of posters and the floor could hardly be seen from the amount of things scattered around. You kinda liked it.

"I feel like my head is about to explode." He said closing his eyes.

"You're probably bleeding internally and will die within hours."

He opened one eye.

"I'm joking." You huffed.

"Look, I'm leaving now and I guess you'll just pretend this never happened and-"

Eddie grabbed your hand. Not squeezing it, his touch was soft and you could have escaped if you wanted.

But you didn't.

"Don't go." he whispered.

"Eddie-"

"Please."

"I'm not going to stay here knowing you'll be ignoring me again tomorrow. Because that's what you're going to do, right?" You asked, already knowing the answer.

He stared at you without saying anything.

"Exactly."

Before you could pull away, he wrapped his arm around your waist and pushed you onto the bed, making you sit next to him.

"Eddie-"

"Youre so pretty." He repeated.

"You already said that."

"Because it's true."

You sighed. "Eddie, I really want to know what's going on between us but you seem to want to keep it a secret."

His hand found yours again and he absentmindedly played with your fingers as you spoke. He must have drunk really a lot.

"I can't." he muttered.

"Why?"

He shook his head.

You suddenly grabbed his face with your hands.

"Tell me you hate me."

"What?"

"Tell me you hate me and that's why you don't want to see me anymore."

He shook his head again as you ran your thumb along his cheek.

"Then why? Why do you want to stay away from me? I thought you were mad at me, I thought you did something to piss you off but now...now I don't know anymore."

As usual, he didn't answer. His big dark eyes stared at yoy, his face was a few inches away from yours.

"I wish I could kiss you, right now." he whispered.

You've repressed the urge to lean forward and bring your lips together.

"And I wish you were sober."

You placed a hand on his chest and pushed him away.

You walked out of his room without looking back, knowing that if you did you wouldn't be able to leave.

The only thing you were sure of was that your thoughts were even more confused than that morning.

He didn't want to see you? He liked you? He hated you? He wanted to kiss you? He couldn't explain what was going on?

You entered your house being as careful as possible not to make noise, you got into your room and you dropped on the bed , staring at the ceiling not knowing what to do.

You sighed. "Shit."

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

The next day, Eddie wasn't at school. The cafeteria was too quiet when he wasn't there.

"Eddie won't talk to me about it." Dustin said when he saw you in the hallway.

"He doesn't seem to want to tell anyone about it." You commented closing your locker.

"What do you mean?"

"We... met. But he wouldn't tell me what his problem is."

You didn't want to explain in detail what happened and you didn't want to tell Dustin that Eddie was drunk.

"I hope you resolve whatever is between you soon."

You looked at Eddie's locker across the hall, the one he hardly ever used because he never brought his books to school. Someone had spray-canned the word "freak" over it.

And in that moment you realized why Eddie had acted that way, why he had pushed you away: he was afraid that people would start treating you the way he did if you got close to him.

You'd been a stupid not to realize that before.

And he'd been a stupid to think you cared a shit about that.

"Yeah, I hope so too."

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

You hadn't called Eddie on the phone because you wanted to talk to him in person and when you came home from school it was pouring with rain, so you had decided that before class started the next day you would go to him and talk.

But that evening, someone knocked on your door.

"I'm going!" You yelled at your parents in the other room.

You opened the door to find Eddie wet from head to toe waiting in silence.

"Eddie?"

"Hi, I…I need to talk to you." He brushed a strand of hair dripping from his face.

"Great, I have to do it too. Come in."

"No, I'll be quick. And your parents are at home, I don't think I can get in."

You huffed. "I can' decide who I want to see."

"I'll be quick." He repeated.

"Okay." You finally said, stepping into the rain and closing the door behind you.

"No, wait-"

"Tell me everything."

Eddie watched as the rain began to fall on you and wet your hair and clothes.

All that just to talk to him.

Sometimes he thought you were crazier than him.

"First of all, I'm sorry." He started. "I wanted to protect you. I thought you'd be better off without me in your life you know? Without Eddie 'the freak' Munson. I thought people would start talking shit about you and I didn't want them to start treating you like they treat me. I didn't want them too gave you a stupid nickname, and I didn't want your friends to leave you just because of me, just because you were my friend. I didn't want your parents to get mad at you for dating me. Hell, I didn't want to ruin the your life and I thought the best thing to do was to tell you that I didn't want to see you anymore, even if that hurt me like hell."

"Eddie, I couldn't care less what people think of me." You said taking a step closer to him as thunder rumbled in the distance. "I never cared. I only cared about you because I like you since you sat next to me on that bench because you knew something was wrong just by looking at me."

"What if you lose your friends because of me?" He asked.

"They weren't real friends then."

"What if people start making things up about you?"

"Eddie, stop it."

"What if your parents get upset and-"

"What if we start hanging up again?" You interrupted him, "What if you start taking me to school in the morning and visiting me at night? What if we do another horror movie marathon in my room when everyone is asleep and you let me hold your hand even if you know I'm not scared? What if we just stay together? What if I tell you that I've missed you? That I still miss you and that I still need you in my life?

What if I tell you that I like you, that I love you because you are you and I don't care what people might say about you about us. What if-"

You gasped when his lips met yours, when he brought his hands to your cheeks and his thumbs brushed away the raindrops as he kissed you.

He tasted like smoke. And home.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, for everything." he whispered.

"It's okay, I think I like you anyway." You chuckled before pulling him back to you.

That was the night you kissed Eddie Munson in the rain and that was the night you showed him that it didn't matter what people thought about you as long as you had eachother.

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