#custard fruit trifle

[sweet2eatbaking]

Fruit Trifle

Fruit Trifle: Indulge in a refreshing summer fruit trifle recipe with a modern twist of Pimm’s liqueur. This dessert captures the essence of summer with its luscious layers of Pimm’s infused ladyfingers, Pimm’s infused summer fruits (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, pineapple, and oranges), creamy custard, and fluffy whipped cream on top. 🍹🍓🍰 Don’t have Pimm’s locally? Keep…

[tenpolegardener]

Cooking at home

Making a Black Forest gateau inspired trifle.

Making chocolate custard.

Chocolate custard made.

Ready to add the custard layer.

Custard is poured carefully on and now it needs to chill.

Honey and something; I don’t kirsch so I’m using sherry.

Adding in cream.

Whisking cream.

Spreading the cream topping.

I need to work out how best to finish it… chocolate or cherries

[charles-leclerizz]

🏎️ ๋࣭ ⭑blue views

🏁 Pairings : Carlos Sainz X fem! Reader

🏁 Warnings : smut [nothing major, listed at the end of the writing], fluff, stress [which is aliviated by the smut]

🏁 Word Count : 3.6k words (3612 words)

🏁 Summary : It’s time to celebrate! For everyone else that is. You, on the other hand, will be planning your’s and your fiance’s “engagement week” festivities, until you die. That is, until an impromptu intervention is planned.

🏁 translations via radio comm below

🏁 credits : word dividers by @heavenlayt

🏁 Music player : Good to be by Mark Ambor

“Carlos!” You shouted out, leaning back against the heel of your soft wedges as you reached behind you for more cocktail glasses. The sound of your fiancé’s loafers against the terracotta staircase echoed throughout the ground level as he made his way to the kitchen, where you were working alongside half a dozen cooks.

“Si, Mariposa?” He came up behind you, plucking the crystal margarita glass from your fingers and taking a sip of the peachy, carbonated concoction that you had masterfully created. You giggled when he hummed happily and kissed your neck, “It’s delicious.”

“Ay, Ay, Señor. Tienes que esperar a la luna de miel” An elderly voice scolded from your left followed with a hollow bonk. Carlos hissed, rubbing the back of his head where a thick wooden rolling pin had struck him playfully, “You wound me, Maria.”

He followed with a pained “Literally.” When Maria had merely shot him a fond look over her shoulder as she went back to washing the tomatoes in the deep-set ceramic sink.

“You’re absolutely sure that everyone got the invites?” You leaned down to inspect the dozen drinks that you had made, “Because we invited at least 60 people, and if I make 60 drinks and there are not exactly 60 throats present to ingest them. You are going to remain abstinent until we’re married.”

Carlos stared at you open mouthed, a betrayed expression overtook his face, “So you would choose Maria’s wishes over mine? muy cruel.” He then bought his hands up from your waist to brush your hair from your shoulder, dragging his fingers up your arm-he slipped off the thin spaghetti strap of your white, cotton summer dress to press short, sweet kisses on your skin, “I mean can you really resist this?” He reasoned.

“It would be very easy Mi Amour.” You harrumphed, ignoring the tingling shocks that fluttered beneath your skin at the drag of his lips against your shoulder. You jolted forward when you felt his other hand travel from your waist, down to the front of your dress, “Carlos- I have so much to do. I mean I promised Alex and Lily I would make trifle for dessert, but then your parents have this one friend who hates custard! I mean did you hear the story, he literally puked, and I will not have him puke in my engagement party, nope. Not on my watch.”

You wagged your finger in the air before grabbing another five glasses from their upside-down position on the kitchen island where you were working. Taking the washcloth that sat comofortably in the front pocket of your plaid apron, you began wiping away the droplets of water from the crystal before continuing to babble about your long list of duties for the upcoming week of festivities.

“So, I need to also make these cute fruit tarts that I made that one time. But then I realised that Charles and Max hate kiwi, and the whole dessert is basically that, so for them I’m making this great chocolate gateau, the one at the restaurant? Since they really fucking liked that one.”

You grumbled out the last part, crushing up your freshly picked strawberries that had previously been resting in a metal strainer along with a cream, cotton cover up to keep them moist. The marble mortar grinded against the matching pestle as the sweet fruits reduced to a thick paste.

“On top of that the other like, 40 guests have very specific wants, so I have 20 different things to make along with this signature drink that Jenni designed for us! You know her, right? the bar tender at the other restaurant in Monaco, I learnt how to make it, and you said its good. It’s good right?”

You add a few cups of carbonated water to the pinkish paste in front of you, before turning back to Carlos, who had been patiently listening to you rant- mainly due to the fear that if he were to stop, you would give his ear the same treatment as the berries that remain crushed beneath you, “Si, mi mariposa. Very good.”

You sighed before fully spinning around to face him, resting your back on the dark wood counter, looping your hands around his neck, “I’m sorry Carlito.” You brush a singular strand of hair that fell from its carefully crafted style onto his forehead, “This isn’t very fun for you, is it?” You move onto your tiptoes to reach his cheek.

“Nonsense, I have Papa and Guillermo coming to help with the decorations outside, I think Blanca and Mama are also coming- to help.” He chuckles when you groan happily and bring his head down to kiss his lips graciously.

“Thank you, Mi Amour.” You murmur against his mouth, running your fingers through his hair as his arms came to circle your waist, pulling you against his chest. You sigh against him, melting in his embrace as you barely manage to hold yourself up and anchor yourself on his broad shoulders that strain against the baby blue polo top, he chose to wear.

“AY, SEÑOR,” Maria bumped Carlos slightly as she came rushing through the walkway, trotting determinedly through the low, exposed brick archway and outside to the patio area that was protected from the morning sunrays by the lattice structure that stood tall whilst being overtaken by winding ivy.

Beneath this, Maria sat down at least 3 trays full of freshly sliced vegetables, sun drying them as preparation for the multiple dishes that would be served that evening, “Si no estás aquí para aportar nada útil, sal de la cocina.” She screeched whilst heading to the other side of your estate, towards the large garden that housed many seasoned plants, ready with multiple fruits and vegetables for plucking.

“I think she will cook me next.” He shuddered before laying his forehead on yours, “Do not worry, Mariposa. Everything will turn out fine.”

“Why did I suggest an engagement week.” You pouted, nuzzling your head into his chest, to hide away from all the responsibilities you had brought onto yourself. You shake your head wildly, causing flurries of hair to escape from the bun you had messily done up, “All I know is that it must go well. Maria will for sure have a heart attack if it doesn’t,”

“I still think it’s a good idea” He comforts you, until the melodic sound of the doorbell resounds throughout the house, and he detaches from you, “That must be the back-up.” He winks at you as he jogs off to open the large, rustic door. You watch from the kitchen as Carlos laughs boisterously whilst embracing his family.

His mother and sister quickly wave him off, ushering the men out to the acres of back garden they have yet to decorate to approach you.

Blanca dances up to you, wiggling her arms and hands excitedly as she beams at your exhausted face, “There she is! Beautiful bride-to-be, our mariposa.” The knee length dress she chose skims her legs as the burgundy silk falls from her shoulders delicately, she hugs your neck tightly, swinging you both side to side whilst you flail around.

“Hola, diabla.” You chuckle, catching your mother-in-law’s eyes, you wait until Blanca removes herself from you for Reyes to do the same, but instead of violently rotating you like a ragdoll, she rubs your back and coos sympathetically.

“Ay mi muñeca, you look too tired to be a blushing bride.” She moves her arms from being drawn around your neck to rub your shoulders.

“What can I say? There’s too much to be done for me to be blushing.” You shrug, already going back to pouring out 10 more drinks, adding to the sea of glasses in front of you.

Blanca tuts disapprovingly, “This is not what being engaged is meant to be, it’s meant to be fun! And new! And sexy!” She waggles her eyebrows suggestively, ignoring her mother who had picked up your to-do list and hid her face in the paper.

“Blanca, please.” Reyes rolled her eyes, “But she’s not wrong.” She reaches for a spare apron that hung rejected on the back of the pantry door.

“No, mamá please,” You attempt to snatch the apron away from Reyes, who tuts disapprovingly and had already begun to collect multiple utensils from your spacious kitchen whilst talking quickly with the cooks who had been diligently making progress on the rest of the menu, “I can’t possibly allow you to do my work.”

Blanca plucked the neatly tied bow around your waist, undoing the stained, pale blue cotton that protected your dress, “No, your job is to relax, and let my culo brother treat you nicely. Champagne, strawberries, chocolate.” She listed off the aphrodisiacs one by one, pushing you through the living room and up the stairs. You braced yourself on the railing as you let her guide you through the landing.

“I have all of that in the food that I should be making,” You whined, stomping your foot, and swivelling to level her with your eyes, “There is just too much to do before tonight. And the boys don’t even know what to do for decorations.”

Blanca swatted her hand through the air, as if physically plummeting away your doubts, “You’ve had the entire family added on your Pinterest board.” You snorted at that, but pressed your lips together when she shot you a look, “If I can’t whip them into shape, consider me a bad sister from day 1.” She planted her hands on her waist before pointing at your bedroom door, “Now either you can start yourself a bath, or I will.”

You harrumph and dig your feet into their spot on the newly waxed, wooden floors beneath you, “I see how it is.” Blanca squints her eyes at you, “Fine, I see how it is.”

You half expect her to push you into the room, but instead she leans over the banister and shouts, “CARLOS !!”

“Blanca!” You gasp, grabbing her dress and tugging her back from the beam, “W-Why would you?” You splutter.

“AY CARLOS !!” She continues to screech until you slap a palm over her mouth, careful of the nude brown lipstick she had worn.

“Si diabla?” Your fiancé shouts back up, already at the base of the staircase. Blanca licks your hand, causing you to yelp and jump back, giving her the perfect opportunity to answer, “Your fiancé is anxious as fuck.”

“What else is new?” He chuckles, hand braced on the railing as he emerges from the winding staircase. Carlos takes in the new scene, you are tackling Blanca onto the floor, she’s squealing whilst attempting to wrangle free from you, tummy first on the floor, “Mi amour, if you are going to leave me for my sister...” He starts, crossing his arms and tilting his head at you.

“You both are insufferable.” You grit out, twisting the knob to your bedroom, wating for Carlos to step inside. He stops momentarily when Blanca darts an arm out and begins to ramble to him in Spanish, Carlos answers just as quickly before his sister reaches up to smack the underside of his head.

“Blanca!” He shouts out after her, but she ignores him and sprints downstairs to assist with the preparations. Carlos turns back to you, slumping forward to rest his head against the door frame that you were currently leaning on, arms folded amusedly as you looked at him from under your eyelashes. He pivots his neck, gazing fondly into your eyes, “You’re pretty.” He mumbles, bringing a limp hand up to rest on your cheek, thumb moving soothingly against your face. You lean into his touch, “So are you” You breathe out, leaning upwards to ghost your lips over his.

This moment was merely poetic, the two of you, finding respite in the chaos within each other. His soft touch as he leaned forward for more, you grant it, because you craved him as deeply as he did for you. The astringent sweetness of his lips against yours and the heavenly feeling of his fingers cradling your hips made you moan out as he caught you weight when your knees gave out from beneath you.

The door creaked shut behind the two of you, your palms digging into the waistline of his shorts to tug his shirt out, his fingers dance down from your neck to the large cut-out of your dress that showed off the curve of your spine. Carlos broke away from you momentarily, his eyes still shut as he chuckled when you whined, chasing his lips desperately, “Jump,” He murmured, bracing himself by tugging you close and digging his fingers into the back of your thighs.

You complied, hopping into his secure hold before attaching your mouth to his once again, nipping at his full bottom lip. Carlos passed through the bedroom with ease, his muscle memory allowing him to walk underneath the long archway that led to your shared bathroom. He released you gently, his fingers pinching the hem of your dress on your way down, he bunched up the flowy linen, dragging it up to your waist and tugging it over your head- leaving you in just a pair of white, lacy underwear.

You laughed slightly, your hair mussed at taking over half of your face, “Carlos” you huff out. He laughs at your annoyance, gently moving the strands out of your eyes before tracing the dips and curves of your chest and stomach with feather-light touches.

Sighing, you tilt your head back, allowing him to press his lips against the column of your neck. You loop your hands around his neck, stumbling backwards towards the sink whilst bringing him with you. Carlos hoists you up and onto the counter, finally stepping back to gaze at your naked body, his eyes ravish you, the stiff peaks of your breasts and curve of your stomach, you watch him intently when he finally makes his way down to your panties, a damp patch already forming.

Carlos approaches you once again, his breath fresh and minty against your skin, “Tan bonita.” He compliments, trailing warm, open mouth kisses on your collar bone, starting from your shoulder until he reaches your sternum, “Tan deliciosa.” He moves to your breast, decorating it with his own purple-ish love marks, he littered them across until he enveloped your nipple into his mouth, his tongue licking against the pebble until it hardened beneath his attention.

Carlos turned his attention to the other whilst his other hand slipped beneath the elastic of your underwear, his middle finger teasing your wet slit, “all for me?” he moaned against your breast.

“of course.” You bury your hand in his hair, arching into his touch before he lowered to his knees in front of you.

“F-fuck” you whine, biting your lip harshly as he settles between your legs, he shucks you closer, harshly tugging you to the edge of the counter as he inches his mouth closer, hot breathe settling on the front of your underwear. You arch your back at the feeling, fingers teasing your peaked nipple, “please,” you whisper, eyes darting down to where Carlos had begun to lave lazily at your newly soaked panties.

“Please what? Huh?” He whispers, tongue darting out to push further into your throbbing hole. You whine, thighs threatening to clamp shut around his head, your hand inches down to shyly tug at his hair and guide him closer to your leaking cunt, “can’t even talk now? ‘s okay mariposa. I’ll take care of you.” He promises, laying one of your legs over his shoulder.

You breathe hitches slightly when you feel him drag his lips up your hip, only for his teeth to sink into your underwear band, trailing it off you.

You scrunch your eyes with a gasp when his kisses trail up from your ankle, to your calf and towards the inside of your thigh- you growl playfully when you hear him chuckle and coo up at you, “you were just stressed...” he pressed an open mouthed kiss to your skin, “being so diligent..” he continued, tongue ghosting over your leaking folds, “so perfect.”

“Carlos,” You moan, scratching your nails against his scalp, “you’re being mean. Hah. It’s not good to be mean to your future wi-“you cut yourself off with a scream, well, a muffled one, you managed to cover your agape mouth with your hand. He dove into your sex, tongue searing through you as he fucked the muscle steadily into you, curling it to poke gently at the sensitive, spongy part within you.

Carlos let his eyes flutter shut, the sweet taste of you staining itself onto his tongue, how he could stay like this forever, fuck the dinner, he only ever wanted to taste you. Only you.

“taste so good,” he panted against you, his tongue nudging your clit, in an oh-so delicious way that made you bite down on your fingers to stop your needy moans leaking down from the open, semi-circle window towards your in-laws, who were dedicatedly preparing your back garden to host a multitude of people.

“uh uh mariposa, quiero oír tu voz.” He reached up with one hand, tugging your palm away from your still open mouth.

“I-“you gulp heavily, trying to unscramble your mind from its mush state, “I- wan’ want more, need you to- do something please.” You bring your other leg to his shoulder, locking him between your limbs.

Carlos huffs out a laugh, biting playfully at your tender skin, he brings up one hand laying his fingers gently against your pussy lips, creating a ‘V’ to spread them wide, exposing the sensitive area to the midday warmth. And then, he spat, a fat string slowly drips from his mouth to land directly on your hole, he gawks at it with interest, his large puppy-dog eyes shining with lust.

You blush and cover your face, “come on- please? I’ve been soo good, did ever’thin you wanted.” You babbled, gyrating your hips against his face, baiting him into pleasuring you again until the delicious wave reached the crown of your skull until the tips of your toes.

“have you? You been my good girl? Hm?” He arches a brow at you, but stops you from answering when he lays his tongue flat against your clit, gently shaking his head side to side until you begin to shake and whine, “yeah, I know mi amor, se siente bien, ¿sí?” he whispers, prodding you cunt with his index finger, “you want it, don’t you?”

You hummed, eyes widening as though he had proposed all over again, “yeah, come on, please, pretty please with a- ahh,” once again, he wouldn’t let you finish your pleading, instead, he answered you with your prize, him pushing his fingers into you, your wetness dripping down into his palm and along his wrist.

Obscene squelches echoed through the bathroom, along with explicit sounds of his knuckles slapping against your skin and your high-pitched moans.

“yes- oh, don’t stop.” You sobbed, tears pricking at your eyes when he thrusted in a second finger, stretching you out whilst he crooked his digits to continue stimulating your g-spot mercilessly.

“don’t plan on it,” he promised, delving back in for another sacred taste, he tongue worked wonders against you, drinking in your nectar as though from the gods- letting in slip down his throat graciously. You groaned and bit your lip harshly, arching your back at angles that chiropractors would wince at until you could feel that euphoric feeling begin to bloom within your stomach.

Your walls fluttered around Carlos’ fingers, making him smirk against you and continue his movements, hungrily licking and slurping at you until your toes curled and eyes crossed over, “fuck,” you grit out, gasping laboriously as the tight knot finally snapped and torrential pleasure rained over you.

“te entendí my love,” He crawled over you, bracing himself above with his hands planted on the thick, white marble countertop you were currently blissed out on.

You brought your shaky hands up to his face, kissing him gently, “what about-hah, what about you,” you panted, wrapping your arms around him, continuing to softly brush your lips against his face. His temple, stubbled cheek, and muscled neck.

“We still have-“ He looked down at the heavy, silver Rolex on his wrist, “40 minutes, until Blanca comes hunting for us.” Carlos looked over to the floating bath that sat in front of the Juliet balcony, “and we have a bath.”

“That is just by a huge ass window,” You reminded him, glancing over to the open doors, revealing the intricate black grill of the balcony along with the pristine view of your tall trees that lined the well-kept entertaining space of your garden.

“Well, I doubt they don’t know what’s going on, I mean, my sister probably told them to leave a box of condoms outside.” He shrugged.

“In that case,” You started, your low whisper a mere breath of warm air between the two of you. Marinating hard and heady eye contact with him, you reached down to take his hand in yours, then slipped the two fingers that still dripped with your wetness, into your mouth.

Carlos stared at the sight, a short, strangled noise leaving him when you popped out his digits with an all too innocent noise, “Better make the most of it,” You leaned back against the mirror, hand open for him to carry you.

He groaned, shaking his head slightly before hoisting you in his arms, “best 40 minutes of my life.”

[Smut warnings : alot of kissing, fingering, sucking, love-bites, fem! oral recieving, fem! fingering recieving.]

📻 Kcccchh.... come in.... come in...translatiion available...over

📻 Kchh...Spnish..to engli..sh....over

Ay, Ay, Señor. Tienes que esperar a la luna de miel - Oh, Oh, Lord. You have to wait for the honeymoon

muy cruel - very cruel

AY, SEÑOR - OH, SIR

Si no estás aquí para aportar nada útil, sal de la cocina - If you're not here to contribute anything useful, get out of the kitchen.

mariposa - butterfly

Hola, diabla - Hello, devil

Ay mi muñeca - Oh, my doll

Si, diabla? - Yes, devil?

Mi amour - My love

Tan deliciosa - So delicious

Tan bonita - So beautifull

quiero oír tu voz - I want to hear your voice

te entendí, mi amor, se siente bien, ¿sí? - I understood you, my love, it feels good, yeah

📻 Kchhhhh.loosing sign....al.....kcchh....over and out...

[swampstew]

KillerCook Chapter 10

Welcome to Raven’s Reading Nook - a small corner of this blog dedicated to cozy story times. Join us in the family room as we sit around and browse our phones, and eat some Girl Scout cookies as we begin tonight’s story. Rated Mature for language. Minors DNI

“Almost ready guys?”

Affirmative voices responded to Killer as he tied his apron around his waist, preparing to go live. Wire adjusted the overhead camera mount for angles and fluid movement while Heat used his laptop to monitor and assist with the show’s channel.

“Last run down: we go live, I do my bit, the ingredients are presented, the rest of the crew helps mix, assemble, and decorate, we call in Kid and we start the party. Did I miss anything?”

Blank stares looked back at him, not answering until—

“Where’s your helmet Killer?” Dive pointed to his bare face.

“OH SHIT!”

A light knocking came from the kitchen door and Killer jumped, “NO ONE COME IN HERE! ITS FORBIDDEN!”

Silence took over as the person on the other side of the door didn’t answer or knock again. Instead, something was pressed against the wooden door, and multiple feet could be heard scurrying through the hall and away from the kitchen.

“Who else is in the house?” Killer asked after he quickly counted his crew.

“Distractions for the Boss,” Wire flashed him a thumbs up.

“…Which one of you invited the Straw Hats?”

“Killer its time!” Heat called out a minute before the hour.

“Shit, where’s my helmet?!”

Pomp was closest to the door and cracked it open before fully opening to bring in a box sitting on the floor. Inside, Killer’s helmet. A note attached to the front that read:

Sorry we took it. Wanted to see what it looked like with my hat. Jaggy already hit me and the lady in pink said to apologize. Save me some dessert please. Monkey D. Luffy

“I-whatever. As long as it doesn’t smell weird,” Killer grumbled, tossing the note in the trashcan.

Wire led the countdown, “Going Live in 3, 2, 1,” he mouthed the final number and pointed his finger at the chef to begin.

“Hey everyone! KillerCook here with a special announcement. It’s my #1 taste tester’s birthday! So today me and the crew are working together to make awesome desserts for the man who eats anything and everything!”

The crew walked through the camera’s focus as Killer introduced each one to the audience.

“Everyone is contributing, no spice or egg will be added by the same person as we all work together, quite possibly in peaceful harmony, to make this day as great as possible. As always, the recipes will be pinned to the top for anyone wanting to try it out at home. Keep the tags and stitches coming, I love seeing you all try these dishes and putting your own flair on them!”

Directing the procession with the crew, Killer had them walk in and out of the camera frame showcasing each ingredient as if it were a game show presenting the prizes to be won.

“We’re throwing the Captain a party so we need to make enough desserts for everyone AND him. Now Kid isn’t the type of guy who sticks to most traditions, just a few that he holds close to the heart. Birthday cakes he can go either way. To make things interesting, we’re not doing just One Cake. We’re going to make 3 desserts, and hopefully still have enough to satisfy everyone’s appetite and not leave ANY leftovers.”

Pulling out his tablet device, Killer showed the screen to his followers to share the desserts in mind. The sound of notifications pinging indicated that the poll was popping off. Heat gave Killer an enthusiastic whisper shout and lowered the background music so the audience could hear Killer better.

“I’m hearing a debate has broken out on whether or not two of the desserts are the same. Well kind of yes and no. Choux pastry technically is the branch family that makes both Profiteroles and Cream Puffs, HOWEVER – the difference is the filling, one uses custard and the other uses whipped cream and fruit. So technically different. Yes, I agree that a Chocolate Trifle is the clear ‘birthday cake’ replacement, but like I said, we need enough for everyone and Kid doesn’t love sharing.”

Killer motioned for Gig and UK to bring a massive serving dish into the camera’s focus.

“This is why we had to custom order this bad boy!” using a rag from his apron pocket, Killer wiped some fingerprints from the side of the bowl. “This is a pure crystal trifle bowl that can hold enough servings for 4 Kids! So I think we’ll be good. We’ll assemble the layers last to let the pudding and whipped cream chill for serving.”

The two men brought the bowl to a different area and out of the way as Killer brought out the first group of bakers.

“This is the Trifle Squad. Get to position,” the group composed of Reck, Dive, Jaguar, Pomp, and House moved towards the counter space nearest to the fridge. They began grabbing their ingredients and tools to begin baking when given the sign.

“This is the Cherry Squad, they have the fun bonus of mashing the cherries for our glaze outside. Speaking of, you can go do that now,” Killer pointed off camera. Mosh, Boogie, Quincy, Compo, and Disc J marched to their designation.

“Can’t forget about the [redacted] squad. And if you’ve been wondering about the recent use of censorship lately, well to be honest it’s all on you guys. There’s been an addendum to the social media contract that says we can’t say certain words or risk getting banned. So keep it PG-17!”

Haikei, Emma, Moai, Hop, and Papas made their way to the kitchen island with their respective mixing bowls and ingredients. That left only a few members of the official crew left.

“And last but certainly not least, the Rough Runners. Unlike the name implies, they will be our kitchen coordinators that clean dishes, bring us ingredients or tools we need to each other and from anywhere we keep them. Step up guys,” Killer motioned for the last members to come forward.

Hip, Oscar, Noe, UK, Gig, and Bubblegum stood in a line from descending order as they waved to the camera.

“Bubblegum and Gig also act as bouncers and security on the side and will also be the enforcers tonight as our parties tend to uh, get a little crazy,” Killer waved to the other tallest members of the crew that weren’t Wire.

“With the help of some local friends, the party is being set up in the backyard while we prepare the desserts for the birthday brute. Ideally, we all work in harmony to make the desserts at once. If we can manage that, well let’s just say there’s an underground betting pool that this is all riding on.”

The crew laughed as Killer joined them with his pastry hat adjusted on his helmet. Heat turned up the music playlist and Wire took over directing the live show so the chef could focus all his energy in his kitchen. Every crewmate had their moment of camera time as Wire woved between the bakers, the glazers, the runners, and Heat who entertained the community chatters as he ran polls and answered the text channel to keep the audience engaged.

As Killer prepared the doughs for baking, his commis chefs worked in their respective sections to make the glaze, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, bake the brownies, crush the No-reos, and do everything in between. Any time the groups found themselves with a few minutes to spare, they would huddle around Heat and talk to the audience as Wire filmed it.

“—And that’s cool and all but I wouldn’t mind becoming a tattoo artist, in fact I already do dotwork style but most people prefer other methods so no reason to stay in one lane,” Emma finished the rest of her water and handed the glass to Oscar. He threw her a dirty look before going to the sink.

“User_x58469: is directing this question to Papas: ‘are the tinted sunglasses indoors a statement’?”

“Yeah it’s a statement. A statement that says I need prescription glasses and I have style. [Redacted] off, I’ve got work ta do,” he grumbled, pulling his hoodie over his head and walked to the kitchen.

“He’s sensitive about his eyesight,” Heat tutted at the chat.

“And I’m sensitive about lingerers,” Killer loomed over the sizable group that had crowded around Heat and Wire. “It’s time to do the decorating, give me my show back!”

As the crewmembers ran to their stations, Killer tsked at his technical assistants before taking command of the camera once more.

“We’re in the last stretch! Now we get to the fun part, filling and putting together the layers. For the trifle, we’ll be taking turns layering the cooled pudding and whipped cream, the chopped up brownies, crushed no-reos, and chocolate shavings in the crystal bowl. We’ll also be filling the profiteroles with vanilla custard and drizzling the chocolate sauce on top once all the dough balls are filled. At the same time, we’ll be cutting the other half of the dough balls in half so we can layer the black cherry whipped cream between the two halves and top it off with some powdered sugar and a generous drizzle of black cherry glaze.”

Killer looked at his watch, “We’re making such great time that we’ll actually be done at the time the party starts which is just perfect. I have time for a few questions before I get back to supervising and layering.

“FreeBritney_MS: wants to know how difficult is chiox pastry, and if you need to be an advanced baker to attempt it.”

“Oh this is a myth! Its considered an advanced form of bakery but really all you need is patience and creativity. Most people fail between making the dough just right, or in the double baking process. Common mistakes I see are undercooking the dough, or having the structure fall when baking is done. I would advise working slow to see what your dough needs from you in order to bake exactly what you want. Don’t forget to poke a hole before the second bake, otherwise the inside won’t fully cook and get that flaky crispness its known for.”

Before long, the kitchen was relatively quiet as the music flowed and the crew took their time meticulously decorating each dessert. When they were done, they had created 300 pastries and probably the world’s biggest trifle.

“Without further ado, let’s bring in the man of the hour for his taste testing.”

Killer pressed the button under the counter to signal for Kid to come in. With a final grating of chocolate shavings on the trifle and making sure the sauces and glazes dripped in droolworthy fashion, he pushed a plate of desserts from the main bounty forward and motioned for the crew to move around to still be in the camera’s wide frame shot.

Everyone waited in anticipation as the thudding sound of boots echoed from the hallway. The door was pushed open, revealing a behemoth wearing an outfit fit for the King of Punks.

Kid was dripped out in black, ripped jeans with a mesh tank top that was partially covered by his beloved patched jacket. It had all his favorite bands, his own jolly rogers, and other inside jokes patched on the black dyed denim and spikes that ran down the collar and shoulders. At his waist, a checkered plaid half kilt that shrouded his legs but did not take away from his steel toed Doc Martens. His tufted hair was styled extra pointed, and his signature goggles were gone, in their place a simple paisley bandana keeping his long locks from his face.

Instead of his usual black guyliner, Kid had opted for a dramatic wing effect and complemented the look with a smoked red color that made his eyes glow. He had gone a little heavy on the highlighter dusted across his cheekbones and tip of his nose, but his red lipstick was immaculate as always. His golden piercings shone as if a hundred camera flashes were going off at his every movement.

The pièce de résistance was the massive wreath that rested against chest.

Massive whirls of meringue were piped together side by side to create the wreathe, and inside each of the piped nest shapes, there were tufts of meringue piped inside and on the outer rim of the nest to create a thick chain of meringue gears. The inner circle of the wreath was reinforced with solid layers of meringue to keep the shape stable, and in those flat surfaces, diluted food coloring had been used to paint a watercolor like design. The design looked vaguely like an eastern red dragon encircling the wreath itself. The gears were sprinkled with splashes of silver food coloring and edible gold leaf flakes placed on the outer rims.

A smirk was plastered on Kid’s face as he gently lifted the wreath from his chest, “Jealous of my bling?”

“Wh-what is it?” Dive asked.

Killer walked up to the birthday boy and lightly tapped his finger to the wreath, “It smells and looks like it’s made of meringue.”

“Damn straight it is. Gonna eat it later.”

“Oh that’s really cool, look at the detail,” Wire ran his fingers on the wreath for the camera and pressed too hard on one of the gears causing it to crackle and dent.

“WATCH IT! You break my wreath and I break your face,” Kid snapped, stepping past the curious hands to stand in front of the island countertop.

“It’s sturdy enough which means an expert made this,” Killer scoffed, “It’ll stay together assuming you don’t punch it or tug it.”

“Yeah yeah, what’d you make for me?”

“Excuuuuusssseeee me, Captain,” the chef regained his posture. “Made you this. Happy [redacted] birthday!” he flippantly pointed at the desserts.

“What’re you bitchy about?”

“I thought I was making your birthday dessert.”

“This isn’t dessert, Kill. It’s a tasty treat, from a tasty treat. Drop the dramatics.”

Like a switch had been flipped, Killer straightened his hat and cleared his throat, looking at the camera to continue his script.

“Aye aye Captain,” he said only a little sarcastically. “We present you with profiteroles, cherry cream puffs, and a chocolate trifle. We put together ‘specially for you.”

“Happy birthday captain!” the crew began cheering in the background as Kid smiled and nodded his head at them. He popped a profiterole in his mouth first.

“Oh damn that’s so good! I thought it was going to be cakier but the way it just crumbled and the custard to pastry ratio is just perfect!”

Killer nodded in approval as the others whooped.

Grabbing a napkin in his metal hand, Kid carefully ate the cherry cream puff, careful to not let it drip on his clothes. “I never knew cherry could taste this [redacted] good! The glaze has a tarty aftertaste but it hits so well after the whipped cream and pastry goes down. I really like those, make sure I get more of those.”

“Aye aye,” Killer went to section off a generous portion.

Balancing his mini dessert bowl in his hand, Kid took a precarious bite before a pleased smile spread across his face, “I really thought this would be too sweet but [redacted] [redacted] if that isn’t the best chocolate dessert I’ve ever had. The pudding and whipped cream layers are so light that its easy to just gobble this up. The brownie and no-reos go well with that sweet and salty balance, and just all together like this, I already said it but I’ll say it again, the BEST chocolate dessert, maybe in the history of ever. Great [redacted] job everyone!”

The crew swarmed Kid to individually wish him a happy birthday before the camera could get a clear shot of the Captain again. When they moved to the background and out of the frame, Kid grabbed Killer in a delicate hug that didn’t crush the sugary wreath.

“Thank you brother, it means a lot to me you went through this effort to make me something. You always do but it never ceases to amaze me.”

“Anytime little brother. We’ll always have your back, ride or die for life, we’re the Kid Pirates!”

The sound of howling and whistling overtook the music as the crew cheered for their nakama. They began tossing balloons around the kitchen and Killer took of his chef hat to replace it with a party hat. Suddenly, the sound of a young man’s voice cut through all the yelling.

“IS IT TIME FOR THE CAKE?!”

“Looks like we’re outta time! See you next time when I teach you all how to tackle the dreaded croissant. It’s not that hard, and like everything else I make, slays. This has been Faffaffaffa-Food with Killer.”

Live has ended.

Bonus: The comment section

Prop0$aline: How does a guy get a dessert order like that for my birthday? Asking for me. KillerCook: For a limited time only, I’ll be selling baked goods online! Scream_Maim_Fire: Siiiike, most state laws prohibit the sale of consumable goods. If you drive here that’s a different story. KillerCook: Please do not drive here. CabinHo3: From the bottom of all our hearts, happy birthday Captain!!! PunkNeverDied69: Thanks <3 Iwannabe_wherethepirates_arr: When is recruitment open??? FlamingHot420: Ehh…to be determined. Working on some…roadblocks at the moment.

Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3

[havg02]

Nyo!England's daily routine fanfic

RIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

In a fairytale like bedroom, inside a canopy bed hanged with trinkets with comfortable frilly pillows and soft quilted blankets, Alice stirred before reaching out to the table side to turn off the alarm. Her nimble delicate thin finger tips behind a handmask she wears every night in bed bumped into her glasses, a lamp, tea cup and a procelaine decor trinket before finally feeling the cool metal bells of the alarm before turning it off. But before completely getting up, she cuddled a bit longer, finding no harm in just adjusting herself to morning. But Alice wasn't one to lie in bed all day so she sat up, neatly folding the blanket aside before stepping onto the small steps to make her way down her big bed to slip on her low kitten heel slippers.

The plush toys and porcelain dolls on top of the dresser watched as she stretched in her lace frilly night gown and hair neatly plaited into a ring around her head like a halo of an angel. Alice grabbed the peignoir in a nearby chair and took off her handmask, feeling the softness of her hands from a Yardley lotion and lilac water as she headed downstairs to make breakfast. Usually, for breakfast, she would have beans toast or a bowl of fruit, granola, and yoghurt drizzled with honey. On a Sunday a hearty classic english breakfast of eggs, sausages, bacon ham, fried mushrooms and tomatos, buttered toasts, maybe even blood sausages and warm baked beans would do with the plentiful of time she has.....but, she just felt like having something lighter and sweeter, so she made herself some soda scones with clotted cream and the rose rhubarb fig jam she made a week ago.

Thankfully while Alice couldn't cook, she could bake sweets. Victorian cake, lemon drizzle, trifle, battenberg cake, toffee pudding, banoffee pie, rice pudding, custard, brandy snaps. She could make simple things like pies and sandwiches but.....that was all, as much as she hated. It was the most biggest thing she was insecure of as a lady. At least most of her food were bland enough for a sick person, making her the perfect nurse and child carer. Not that she did a good job raising Amelia. Classic self depreciation. For tea, she pondered on which flavour to have. There was so many she had to choose from; lavender and honey, Chamomile and blue flower, rose and apple, english breakfast, earl grey........

Hm. She felt like she was running low on early grey so to savour it before she goes to go shopping for groceries later, Alice decided to pick the English breakfast for now so she can attempt to make an earl grey angel food cake with Rose syrup glaze. She knew what was the outcome; a ringing fire alarm and windows being open to let the smoke out. But she wasn't giving up. She had learnt as an immortal being that there was no time too late to do anything and times had changed, she was nothing more than a little island now, so as might as well put in her efforts saving face and proving she can cook, without relying on Chinese and indian takeaways. It wasn't her fault her cooking was bad when she didn't have much much eat, people started to suspect to cover bad food with spices whike it was getting good and then war had happened.

The kettle whistled as it was done boiling and Alice took it off the stove, pouring it into a fine pretty tea pot with the leaves inside and went to prepare the table to let it steep. As it was a rare sunny start off for the day, she wanted to eat outside to have some sun on her face and enjoy the warmness so she set up her breakfast on the small table outside, covering it with a lace cloth and plating everything neatly before pouring the tea into her cup and popping in some cubed violet sugar into it, then finally take a sip and let the soft caffeine hit. Back then she could go about up to 15 tea parties in a day that it became a problem when she would whizz on so much caffeine that she had to learn to cut back on it.

As she enjoyed the sun and breakfast, she read the Guardian and the Herald newspaper, laying them out and reading the columns. Apparently there were clothes needed to be donated for an orphanage so she made a plan ahead to go through her sewing room to find some clothes she sewed and crocheted to give. Ever since she raised so many colonies, she had a habit of making clothes specifically for kids and still had them so as might as well out them to good than let it sit in the dust. If she had their names, she'd individually sew their names on them too. Having finished eating, she folded the newspapers together and cleaned up, heading back inside to get ready for the day.

Alice let her hair down in the bathroom and let the water run for a bath where a bath tea satchel of salt, herbs like chamomile and water mint, and apothecary flowers like primrose soak in. Feeling a bit like she wanted to pamper herself more, Alice also put a dollop of Molten Brown bubble bath and Penhaloligon bath oil instead of the Cath Kidston bath melts. Soon the bathroom smelt heavenly as she took her nightgown off and draped a cloth into the bathtub so she wouldn't slip, and settled herself inside comfortably. She popped a herbal and floral cigarette into her same old vintage cigarette holder to keep her hands being tainted to relax a bit more as she was still a little hangover from last night, enjoying herself a guilty pleasure of posset and blew out a flowery smoke, sighing stifled sighs and shuddering softly.

She washed her hair with her shampoo she made with foraging, out of bitter ginger, poison ivy, Rosemary and rose hips before leaving the bathtub to dry herself off. Wrapped herself in a bath robe, she went to brush her teeth with her usual Euthomyol floral peach tooth paste, rinse her mouth with Floris London rose mouthwash, then blow dry her hair. Alice left the bathroom in a good mood now, having to feel so refreshed and sat at her vanity dresser to do her small and quick skincare routine. She wasn't one to be about beauty like Francine was but she did still care for her appearance but all she needed was cold cream, elderflower for toner, a Liz Earle moisturizer, a Rhug Estate marshmallow root and lemon balm, and her and the Queen's favourite; Elizabeth Arden 24 hr repair cream.

Having hating sweat yet dryness, Alice put on baby oil all over her body and then dusted herself with a perfumed body powder, choosing a vivienne Westwood than the Avon or Crabtree&Evelyn. But cosmetics was next, she was also quite light on them--all she had was Rimmel, Agent Provacateur, Pat Mcgrath and Charlotte Tilbury on her side. Just a simple spf foundation, rouge on the cheeks did fine, a nude pastel pink lipstick or the Penhaloligon orange blossom and violet lip balm did fine for her. Moving on to her hair, she applied hair perfume oil into her hair and brushed it with the Royal Kent hairbrush that all the royal family members had, so that people would be pleasantly charmed by the scent when her pigtails fluttered like butterflies behind her under their noses.

Then to tie them up, she went through the ribbon rack and her jewelry box of hair accessories, picking out a pearl hair pin and silky hair scrunches adorned with bows to put her hair up out of her face, neat and tidy so it's not distracting as she works. She would tie it up in a ponytail, had she not want to appear like Francine and Isabella but now that she had finished all that, it was time to dress. She put down her hair brush back on the vanity set along with the bottles floral water, make-up, perfume bottles and the jewelry box--and hopped off the chair, gracefully humming her way to the wardrobe with her elegant legs. Her usual attire was a sensible, modest yet refined appearance that fit in any sort of situation, with long sleeves, tights, low heels and a pendant adorned on her chest. The bright sun was still there so she chose to wear the lovely tulle puffed sleeved dress, a cashmere jacket as she got cold quite easily, stocking and ballet flats.

Alice looked at herself in the mirror satisfied, then opened the mirror to reveal a locker of simple everyday jewelry unlike her flashy ones specially held in the walk in wardrobe. She put on a small diamond necklace, the size of a thumb and a pandora bracelet she had been gifted but hadn't gotten the chance to wear. It was flashy but why not? Now, the sewing room was a little messy but it's not hard work if it's clean. Alice took out all the clothes she could find and put them in a recycled cardboard box, neatly folding them and putting in some toys and handkerchiefs as well. All that work tired her out so she decided to finish later, heading off to her special private library doll house out in her garden--two stories with a widow's walk on the rooftop to read a book with a nice view as well and have plentiful of sun like the sunroom in her manor.

She passed by her garden where colourful flowers bloomed which she took pride in, many of them incased in an wardian case terrarium outside and in her house. It at least made up the dreary gloominess of her world, unlike the brighter countries like spain and asia. But she liked to think her place was more sensible, breath taking and comforting like this with the rain and fog. To open her favourite place, she took out her key chain that was like a chatelaine, having a small notebook to write down anything like a grocery list or a meet up, keys to her properties like this doll house and her diary box, a mini sewing kit, and a Tussle mussie bouquet that had a lavender scented smelling salts incase she felt light headed as she was prone to headaches due to Amelia and Francine's antics.

Right away, Alice sat on the comfortable chairs and picked up the book from the coffee table, turning the radio as she read. Unfortunately she couldn't tear herself away with another cup of tea so she brought a tea set with her, along with a plate of snacks of Hobnobs, Mr Kipling, Jaffa Cakes and a can of Irn Bru. A tea without biscuits was outrageous, after all. Also when you have your fairy friends there as well. When she wasn't there in the forest near her manor where a lake and a bridge ws where her magic friends hanged out, they were there at her place and brought along little trinkets or herbs they found like how they and Alice would go foraging with them like when she was a child due to the starvation she faced many times in her life. She blamed that for her frail appearance.

And just like that, hours had gone by and Alice had to tear herself away with a sigh and stretch herself from relaxing all early afternoon. 'I better go get those donations out of the way....' she thought and went to go do just that. After piling the boxes of clothes into her car, she headed straight towards the orphanage--but not before dropping by the dairy. She had run out of biscuits and the kids ought to have some treats as well because why not? Alice skimmed through the aisles and big refrigerators, taking some Cadbury chocolate mix, strawberry oat biscuits, jam roly polys and lollies for the kids to do a lolly scramble or whatever the orphanage decides. She itched to grab a Greg's sausage roll but she had enough snacks so she quickly paid and went back on track to where she originally planned to go to.

Maybe the sugar tax hadn't helped much but at least the children were pleased by what she had brought and she had enjoyed her time playinf with the kids. If anything, she was the best babysitter anyone could ever ask for--people have said, though Alice liked to differ with Amelia, once again. And as much as she hated to admit it, she was quite lonely so this was a delightful time and well, another nice thing to do other than reading. If, the boys wouldn't stop shouting, that is. Nonetheless, she helped clean up the orphanage and send them to nap time before leaving. By then it was past dinner so she as might as well just have a lunch-dinner, she wasn't one to eat meals but snack with tea.

So she waltzed into a pub, but not to drink. A nice restaurant would be nice but she wanted to be in a more festive place where she can watch some soccer with these bastards who were funnier than the poor excuse for a queen consort she was stuck with. Looking at the menu while being flirted and having a banter with the pub owner, she looked at the menu and decided to have a pie mash and liquor. It was a warm meal like the sunday roast she would have but for today, it was special. And you can say it looks awful but it's better than eel jelly when the old folks love to eat. She almost reached out for a pint of beer but the pot bellies on the men around her made her retreat immediately, thankfully.

Now it was late in the evening where everyone else was heading back home for supper. And Alice was treating herself to a kebab shop next door, just because and arguing with another fellow who was going for another soccer team which she didn't why she did since their team always lost anyway so her team wasn't all that special. But, she was done for the day and drove back home. The big Ben woikd be ringing as it struck 10 but unfortunately, builders nearby complaint about the loudness of it so they had to temporarily stop it for now. Once she got home, she stocked up the biscuit and sweets cabinet, some of them for the garbage bin men to give to when they come to pick up the wheels bins like the crunchies and wotsits.

Now for her nightly tea to sleep, she picked a lavender Peppermint tea and headed upstairs to bed, changing into her nightgown and slipping herself into bed. The next following week she was going to be working and flying straight to America for a meeting but she can dwells onto that later since she's had a nice day for herself. At least she could still watch the itv news and supersizers go on her phone. Not even when September was coming, when the Jane Austin festival was coming and people around the world would come to dress up like the old days, whether they did it accurate or not.

Or even going to the city of Bath and watch girls fawn over the pretty lush buildings like a fairy tale and a dream school for princesses. Just to be anywhere near a place to argue and watch the world burn down. Times have changed. She was quite tired to say the least to watch anything on the telly now so off to sleep it was. Taking one last sip of her tea and braiding her hair this time for a wavy look for the next day, she turned off the lights and went to a well deserved sleep.

[thequeenofthewinter]

Dahlia and Sophrine's Excellent Kitchen Adventure

A pleasant afternoon/evening to all. I was deeply inspired by @sylvienerevarine's lovely OC Soph. By the way you should check out her work. It's absolutely fantastic and an assured good time. (You can find it here.) ...so, have a little one shot I have written where Dahlia and Soph's worlds meet.

Link to AO3

“…and can you believe that they thought they were going to use kwarma eggs in a traditional Summerset soufflé? Pah,” Sophrine scoffs as she stirs the custard in her pot. “Of course, something like that would never work. The proteins are too dense to inflate anything other than the Gourmet’s misplaced ego.”

Dahlia leans against a wall as she listens attentively to the pretty Breton woman talk about the tales of her most recent cooking adventures—even if she has no idea what she is talking about. 

Over the last few months, a rumor has been spreading of a new chef in Kynesgrove with skills which could rival even those of the Gourmet himself. Naturally, the High Queen was curious, and thus, extended an invitation for her to come and cook in the kitchen at the Palace of the King’s. 

Luckily for her, Sophrine and her husband Roggi had nothing else better to do on a Sunday afternoon other than to accept her invitation, and so here they are: Dahlia with Sophrine helping—or at least trying to provide what limited help she can to the great chef as they mix together a trifle for their dessert, and Ulfric with Roggi sitting out in the Great Hall doing—well, whatever it is that men do when their spouses have left them to their own devices.

“Is it terribly hard to bake?” Dahlia asks as she moves forward to pick up one of the chef’s knives to chop some of the fruit on the counter.

Sophrine turns her head towards her, all the while stirring vigorously at the thickening vanilla concoction in the steel pot before her. “Oh no, I mean—well, it does take some practice, and you can’t say have a parade of mammoths stomping by as you make it; but, other than that, it’s easy. I could even show you before I leave.”

“I’d love that. That’s very kind of you. I’ll have to make sure to send down for some of Ilse’s danishes before you go, and—”

“Everything okay in here?” Ulfric’s voice sounds from the doorway, and when Dahlia turns, she can see that once again, he has poked his head around the corner to see what they are doing.

She bites her lip as she tosses a knowing glance over to Sophrine. He has been doing this all afternoon. Who knew her husband could be so nosy?

“We’re just the same as we were 10 minutes ago when you came to check on us, my heart.” She sighs. While she knows that he means well, he is starting to grate on her nerves. “Why don’t you go back out to Roggi? It’s like you’re afraid of socializing and making friends which I know you are not.”

“Yes, well—”

Dahlia stops chopping more ingredients, and turns around completely to face her husband, hands on her hips. “If you tell me that you’re afraid of someone with a knot in his beard, I am going to tell Galmar, and he’ll hit you with the broadside of his battle axe until he knocks some sense back into you.”

“You wouldn’t.” He challenges as he raises a brow.

Sophrine tries—and fails—to hold back a chuckle at the two of them as she begins to pour her custard into its glass presenting dish. “She would.” She shrugs as she begins to layer the fruit Dahlia had cut on top. “Perhaps I have not known her for more than a few hours, but she seems the type not to be,“ she nods down at the dessert in front of her, “trifled with.”

“I just thought that I could help you or maybe start taking the dishes out to the—”

Dahlia abruptly snatches one of the many wooden spoons hanging on the wall beside her and throws it towards Ulfric, nearly missing his head. Intentionally, of course. “If you do not leave here this instant, the next one will not miss.”

While the High King may be a formidable and rather stubborn man, he knows better than to try his wife again. He quickly turns tail, walking back to the Great Hall to see Roggi sitting politely on the bench just where he had left him.

Ulfric sighs as he sits back down across from the man. “I tried to go in there again, and my wife threw a spoon at me. Clearly, I should be looking for threats closer to home rather than—”

“I can still hear you, you know.” Dahlia’s voice carries from the kitchen, echoing through the hall. “And I did not even throw it at you just in your general direction. If I had wanted to hit you, I would have.”

Ulfric turns, shouting back to her, “In High Rock that would be considered an assassination attempt.”

He receives no further reply. Apparently his wife thinks she has tortured him enough in front of their company, and he turns back to Roggi who is still patiently sitting in front of him. “I need a glass of mead.”

At that, Roggi perks up, a true smile on his face for the first time in this entire encounter. “You like mead? Sometimes Soph and I brew our own from the honey in our apiary.”

“You know, I have always wanted to try that myself, but I never have the damn time.” 

“I can imagine that you don’t. Not with how much of a spitfire your wife seems to be. Is she always that? My wife can be—”

Before he can finish his sentence, Sophrine’s voice can be heard from the kitchen. “Remember I can hear you too, and I am the one who makes your dinners.”

At that Ulfric begins to get up from his seat, gesturing for Roggi to do the same “Actually, I have quite the collection of mead in the cellars if you’d like to see it? …and I am certain our wives will not be able to hear us there.”

“That sounds absolutely delightful, and I would love to take you up on that offer immediately.”

[ofmermaidstories]

Wanna hear something funny?

I only know what pavlova is because I was forced to watch bluey with this kid I was babysitting

oh gosh, i forget that pavlova is kinda—localised. LOL. for my friends that are not familiar with pavlovas or their lore, it’s basically a meringue!!! except the inside is meant to be soft—like marshmallow! so you have the crispy, shell-like outside and then the soft gooey inside; and you dress it with thickened cream or custard and fruit! i’m not very partial to them as an adult bc they hurt my teeth, lmao; they can be very sweet! but in single-servings they’re lovely. 🥹 actually, i was debating trying one again this year. 🫣 we’ll see, i like my trifle. 🫣🫣

[scarletunit6]

REGIONAL SPECIALITIES

Despite recent setbacks beef is still big industry in England, and the Scottish Aberdeen Angus is one of our most famous beef-producing breeds. Dairy cattle are also farmed extensively -- England is famous for its creams and butters and for its sturdy and delicious cheeses: Stilton, Cheshire and its rare cousin blue Cheshire, double Gloucester, red Leicester, sage Derby, and of course cheddar.

Some of our more interesting dishes include:-

Beefsteak, Oyster, and Kidney Pudding: Oysters may seem unlikely in this meat pudding, but their great abundance in the Victorian age and earlier eras inspired cooks to find ways to incorporate them creatively in many different recipes. This steamed pudding combines the meats with mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, and Worcestershire, then wraps the whole in a suet pastry.

Black Pudding: invented in Stornoway, Isle of Lewis black pudding is often served as part of a traditional full English breakfast.

Black Pudding Recipe

Cock-a-Leekie : This Scottish specialty can be classified as a soup or a stew. It combines beef, chicken, leeks, and prunes to unusual and spectacular ends.

Crown Roast Lamb: The crown roast encircles a stuffing of apples, bread crumbs, onion, celery, and lemon.

Eccles Cake : Puff pastry stuffed with a spicy currant filling.

Hasty Pudding: A simple and quick (thus the name) steamed pudding of milk, flour, butter, eggs, and cinnamon.

Irish Stew: An Irish stew always has a common base of lamb, potatoes, and onion. It could contain any number of other ingredients, depending on the cook.

Likky Pie Leeks: pork, and cream baked in puff pastry.

Mincemeat: Beef suet is used to bind chopped nuts, apples, spices, brown sugar, and brandy into a filling for pies or pasties - not to be confused with minced meat!.

Mulligatawny Soup: What this soup is depends on who is cooking it. Originally a south Indian dish (the name means pepper water in tamil), it has been adopted and extensively adapted by the British. Mullitgatawny contains chicken or meat or vegetable stock mixed with yogurt or cheese or coconut milk and is seasoned with curry and various other spices. It is sometimes served with a separate bowl of rice.

Syllabub: In the seventeenth century, a milkmaid would send a stream of new, warm milk directly from a cow into a bowl of spiced cider or ale. A light curd would form on top with a lovely whey underneath. This, according to Elizabeth David, was the original syllabub. Today's syllabub is more solid (its origins can also be traced to the seventeenth century, albeit to the upper classes) and mixes sherry and/or brandy, sugar, lemon, nutmeg, and double cream into a custard-like dessert or an eggnog-like beverage, depending upon the cook.

Trifle: Layers of alcohol-soaked sponge cake alternate with fruit, custard and whipped cream, some people add jelly, but that's for kids.

Welsh Faggots: Pig's liver is made into meatballs with onion, beef suet, bread crumbs, and sometimes a chopped apple. Faggots used to be made to use up the odd parts of a pig after it had been slaughtered.

Welsh Rabbit (or Rarebit): Cheese is grated and melted with milk or ale. Pepper, salt, butter, and mustard are then added. The mix is spread over toast and baked until "the cheese bubbles and becomes brown in appetizing-looking splashes" (Jane Grigson in English Food, London: Penguin, 1977).

Westmoreland Pepper Cake: Fruitcake that gets a distinctive kick from lots of black pepper. Other ingredients include honey, cloves, ginger, and walnuts.

Hand, L.R. (2019). British Food - British culture, customs and traditions. [online] Learnenglish.de. Available at: https://www.learnenglish.de/culture/foodculture.html. ‌

[cruella-devegan]

Bespoke Kitchen / Queenstown, New Zealand

Trifle pancakes with cherry, blackcurrant & blueberry jam, custard, coconut whip, roast maple almonds, fresh fruit

[thefloatingstone]

Thanks for reblogging that Mid West American desserts. My roommate was telling of chili from the Mid West. White beans, ground beef, and American cheese. It was the blandest thing you could think of. What local S.A. recipes make you cringe?

I don't know if it's a local recipe but trifle is REALLY not my thing AT ALL.

Marie biscuit bottom which ALWAYS gets soggy, then a bunch of custard, then a mix of fruit and cream or cut up marshmallows, then Jelly, usually cherry flavoured, then MORE custard and then topped with Marie Biscuit crumbs or chocolate flake. Maybe some cherries too idk.

It's just a giant soggy, ridiculously sweet wet MESS on a plate. It ruins perfectly good jelly, AND perfectly good custard, AND perfectly good marshmallows.

It's just slop on a plate.

An affront to humanity.

[bryonyashaw]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Bryony | Lifestyle | family | foodie (@bryonyannie)

𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗶𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗳𝗹𝗲

A trifle consists of both soft and crunchy layers put on top of each other in a glass or ceramic cup for serving. For this recipe you can switch things up for dietry requirements/preferences. The traditional English food trifle is a layered which contains custard, sponge fingers, sherry soaked cake, fruit, jam and whipped cream.

𝙄𝙣𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨

• 50g (2 oz) chocolate flavour Angel Delight

• 300ml (1/2 pt) semi-skimmed milk

• 200g (7 oz) brownies (you can make the brownies yourself or shop buy)

• 400g (2/3 pt) double cream

• 100g (4 oz) chocolate

𝙈𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙙

1) In a bowl, prepare the Angel Delight pudding according to package instructions using the milk.

2) Whip the cream in another bowl until soft peaks form.

3) Crush the chocolate into small pieces and place in another bowl. 

4) Crumble the brownies into a large bowl.

5) You are now ready to assemble the trifle. Ideally, you should use portion sized jars or containers. 

6) Start layering the pudding by placing the brownies in the base, followed by a layer of chocolate pudding, and cream. 

7) Repeat the process by adding as many layers as you can and top with chocolate when the container is full.

Just to note - Angel Delight is a well known brand for chocolate pudding but shops stock their own no name brand as well!

If you don’t have time to prepare your own brownies, you can also consider using cookies, sponge fingers, waffles, wafers etc. Whether it be chocolate or golden vanilla cookies, they’ll both taste great!

𝙎𝙪𝙗𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙪𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙞𝙩:

• Mascarpone – this would almost make your dish tiramisu-like. Just need a bit of coffee

• Cream Cheese – your dish would be like a cheesecake in a cup. Simply delicious!

• Crème Fraiche – with acidity, it will cut through the richness of the chocolate. Great with fruit

•Vanilla, caramel or chocolate pudding – just reuse the pudding if you are fan of the Angel Delight

• Fruit coulis – can use these to make your dish lighter, less intense on the calorie count.

• Caramel – rich, intense flavour that will add an extra something

[isfjmel-phleg]

OC birthday facts: Josiah

Birthday: December 1

How he usually spends it: The usual festivities include a ceremony in which he bestows as many gifts as he is old on Deserving Subjects In Need who are around his age. He usually gets to attend a concert, which he always enjoys. There's a review of his personal regiment (like his sisters have, he's got a uniform too etc.) and a formal dinner. He has to greet dignitaries and diplomats who come bearing gifts.

How he would choose to spend it: More concerts, fewer social interactions.

Favorite birthday dessert: A sort of trifle that involves sponge cake, fruit, jam, macaroons, ladyfingers, vanilla custard, and cream, among other things.

Best birthday in his past: His seventh. The last birthday with his mother, who would die less than two weeks later. He got his first telescope!

Worst birthday in his past: His thirteenth, while he's at Hollingham. No gifts. No celebration. A curt wire from his father.

Best gift: An engraved gold watch from his father when he turned ten.

Worst gift: Ateva gave him a stuffed cat once, which was just plain insulting. He was eight years old and too grown-up for such a childish gift. Mikaiah inherited the cat almost immediately.

What he says he wants: Books. Astronomical instruments. Sheet music. Cuff links.

What he actually wants: Books. A one-way ticket home.

[bakingtherapy]

Genshin Inspired Recipes #3 Eula: Custard

Hello, every birdie. Today we are going to be making a dish inspired by a character named Eula. 

Eula - She is a Cyro character from Mondsadt. She has a heavy burden over her, regard to her family. She is part of the Lawerence clan and thinks that everyone doesn’t like her because of it. And no matter what happens to her she acts with “vengeance.”

She was my second 5-star character in the game. 

Every nation in Genshin is based on a specific country in the world. 

Mondsadt is Germany. 

Liyue is China

Inazuma is Japan

Sumeru is India 

Fontaine - French

Natlan - Philippines or Africa

For today’s recipe, we are going to be looking at a German recipe. This cookbook was gifted to me by my German grandma (adopted. We adopted each other as grandmother and granddaughter.). Like she lived in Germany until she was 7 years old.  So this cookbook will always have a place in my heart. 

I do have to have google open with this cookbook though. Because there is terminology that I don’t know and had to look up. 

Okay, onto the recipe. We are going to be following a recipe called “GUSTIN - pudding with Fruit.”

The recipe and the measurements will be down below. Feel free to look at it. 

The ingredients you will need are:

GUSTIN (corn starch powder)

Sugar 

Oetker Vanillin Sugar (if you don’t have this, which I didn’t. I added about 1 -2 tsp of vanilla extract to the same amount of granulated sugar.) (Edit from future Robby - Wegman's & Walmart both have this for about $2.00. I just didn't know that at the time.)

1 egg separated 

Milk or water

Milk 

Fresh fruit 

In a bowl, you are going to mix together your GUSTIN, which is your corn starch. Your sugar, and vanilla, the egg yolk with 6 Tablespoons of cold milk or water. 

In a pot on the stove, you are going to bring together a pint which is 2 cups of milk to a boil. I doubled this recipe because I was feeding 7 adults. And it didn’t look like that much. So always go with your gut feeling on the quantity you need. And yes, sometimes your gut feeling will not be correct. 

Once your milk is at a boil, remove it from the heat, and stir in the corn starch mixture. Trust me when I say that you want to turn the mixture off the heat. There have been many times when I burnt the pudding because I added the cornstarch or thickening agent when the mixture was on heat. 

When all of your dry ingredients are incorporated, you are going to bring it back to the stove and bring it to a boil, yet again. 

You are going to whisk your egg white until stiff peaks. If you have a hard time with a meringue there are a few tips that I have learned along the way from my mom. 

Put your equipment in the freezer about 10-30 minutes before you are going to use it. 

Use a metal bowl. It holds the coldness longer. 

Never try to do a meringue by hand. You will be tired at the end of it, and you will not have stiff peaks that are generally needed. 

Make sure to constantly stir your pudding mixture. Nobody likes burnt pudding, it just sits there unpleasantly at the back of your throat, just reminding you that you made a mistake. So don’t do like I have done in the past. 

Once the mixture comes to a boil, you are going to take it off the heat. And fold in your egg whites. While it is still hot, thus you cook your egg white. And you are not eating raw egg whites. 

(Gotta love the mess in the picture. I couldn't even be bothered to clean up the table. Geez. 😂)

When you serve the pudding, you can add the fruit to it however you like. I made it into like a trifle-like thing. It tasted really good, and it wasn’t a heavy dessert either. I am finding that as I get older, I like baking with fruits and veggies more than anything else. 

I hope that you liked this recipe. Feel free to check it out down below. See you in the next recipes. Thank you. 

Show the original author some 💖💖💖 Robby's Cookbook Collection

Here is a printable version of this recipe: on the blog

Please consider supporting me through the following options:

🐥Patreon 🐥 Kofi 🐥 Facebook 🐥 Pinterest 🐥

[rangooncolonial]

Sweet Treats from the Subcontinent: Exploring Indian Desserts

Indian food is renowned for its rich and diverse array of flavours, and nowhere is this more evident than in its desserts. From decadent milk-based sweets to syrup-soaked pastries, Indian desserts offer a tantalising journey for the taste buds. Let's delve into the world of Indian desserts and discover the sweet delights that await.

Gulab Jamun

Gulab Jamun is a classic Indian dessert consisting of soft, deep-fried dough balls made from khoya (reduced milk) and flour, soaked in a fragrant sugar syrup flavoured with rose water, cardamom, and saffron. Originating from the Indian subcontinent, Gulab Jamun is a beloved treat enjoyed at weddings, festivals, and special occasions. The name "Gulab Jamun" translates to "rose berry," reflecting its floral aroma and sweet taste. These delectable balls of goodness are often served warm, offering a delightful combination of melt-in-your-mouth texture and indulgent sweetness, making them a favourite among sweet lovers everywhere.

Royal English Trifle

Royal English Trifle is a classic dessert that has been enjoyed for centuries in British cuisine. It consists of layers of sponge cake soaked in sherry or fruit juice, custard, jelly, fruit, and whipped cream assembled in a glass bowl for a stunning presentation. The trifle is a delightful combination of textures and flavours, with the creamy custard balancing the sweetness of the fruit and the lightness of the sponge cake. It is often garnished with almonds, cherries, or chocolate shavings for an extra touch of elegance. This timeless dessert is a favourite at gatherings and special occasions.

Indian desserts are a testament to the country's rich culinary heritage and the ingenuity of its people when it comes to creating sweet treats. From the melt-in-your-mouth goodness of Gulab Jamun to the refreshing indulgence of Royal English Trifle, each dessert offers a unique sensory experience that delights the palate and leaves a lasting impression. So, the next time you're craving something sweet, why not indulge in the flavours of India and savour the deliciousness of its desserts?

https://justpaste.it/6sme5

[unhingedwomandiaries]

As someone raised on a steady diet of apple pie and cheeseburgers, the concept of an English trifle always seemed as baffling as cricket or spotted dick. It’s dessert, sure, but what kind of dessert has sponge in it? Yet, living in the land of tea and marmite sandwiches, I figured it was time to confront this peculiar pudding head-on.

My first spoonful of the custard-and-fruit concoction was nothing short of an ambush. Sweet and sour, soft and lumpy—my taste buds reeled like they’d just been shoved into a sensory mosh pit. It wasn’t a dessert; it was a personality disorder in a glass bowl. But I’m not one to back down from a culinary challenge, so I soldiered on and tried the chocolate trifle.

And oh. My. God. This wasn’t just dessert; this was enlightenment. One bite, and my mouth was awash in layers of silky, chocolatey bliss. It wasn’t just sweet—it was symphonic. The cocoa was rich, the madeira-soaked sponge luxurious, and the creamy layers… Well, let’s just say if angels don’t eat trifle in heaven, then what’s the point of getting there?

As the last, decadent morsel melted on my tongue, I realized I’d just had a full-blown epiphany. My prejudices against British food had crumbled like the base of that trifle. I wasn’t just eating dessert—I was experiencing cultural diplomacy at its finest.

The trifle didn’t just speak to me. It whispered, seduced, and serenaded me. And in that moment, I understood: I wasn’t just an American living in England. I was one with the Queen’s pudding.

[udo0stories]

Our 20 great Christmas desserts list Once more, it is that time of year! Merry-making at Christmas would be incomplete without delectable desserts! Whether you are hosting or attending a holiday get-together, bringing dessert will make you look good and win people over. However, it can be difficult to choose just one to make for Christmas when there are so many mouthwatering options. Remain calm. These are a few of the best desserts you can make or bring to a Christmas party. 1. Christmas Pudding A classic Christmas pudding is a must-have for any celebration. Dried fruits, spices, and a few "special" ingredients, like brandy, come together to make this rich dessert. It is typically served with ice cream, cream, or custard, which makes it an incredibly decadent holiday dessert. It is an extremely safe option. This dessert is excellent prepared in advance for Christmas. 2. Mince Pies Another classic Christmas dessert is mince pie. These individual pastries are filled with sweet mincemeat, topped with a dusting of castor sugar, and glazed with the goodness of melted butter. They’re the perfect finger food for a festive gathering, and they’re sure to be a hit with everyone at the table. 3. Bûche de Noël If you’re looking for something a bit more unique, try making a batch of Bûche de Noël. This French-inspired dessert is a combination of sponge cake and frosting. It is usually decorated with marzipan, chocolate, or other festive ingredients. It’s a great way to celebrate the holidays with a touch of elegance. You can make your own Bûche de Noël or find a local bakery that specializes in these festive treats. 4. Gingerbread Cookies Gingerbread cookies are a classic Christmas dessert that everyone loves! They’re easy to make and even easier to eat. You can decorate them with icing, sprinkles, or other festive toppings, and even hang them as decorations on your Christmas tree. This is a great example of a traditional Christmas dessert. 5. Christmas Cake A Christmas cake is a must-have for all of your holiday parties. It’s easy to make and can be decorated to match your Christmas décor. Plus, it’s sure to be a hit with all of the guests. Spike it up with some brandy or rum to make a sweet and boozy adult version—no one will complain. 6. Chocolate Fondue Chocolate fondue is a decadent and playful dessert that is sure to be a hit at any gathering. Gather around the fondue pot and dip your favorite fruits, cookies, and other treats into the warm, melted chocolate for a truly special and lip-smacking experience. I love any chocolate Christmas dessert I can get my hands on. 7. Apple Pie A timeless dessert, an apple pie can sweeten just about any Christmas celebration. It’s easy to make, and you can use store-bought crust and filling to make baking it an easy affair. Plus, it’s always a hit with everyone at the table. Another great option is the caramel apple pie tacos we made a few years ago. 8. Christmas Trifle If you’re looking for a show-stopping dessert, a trifle is the way to go. It’s a layered dessert made with slices of cake, fruit, custard, and cream. This dessert is also another perfect way to end a festive Christmas meal, although it requires a fair bit of elbow grease. 9. Eggnog Cream Pie Nothing says Christmas like the flavors of eggnog in a creamy and delicious pie. Rich and decadant, it combines the classic flavors of eggnog with a flaky pie crust for a delicious treat. Enjoy a slice of this comforting and indulgent pie to get into the yuletide spirit and wow your guests too. 10. Cranberry Cheesecake A delicious cranberry cheesecake is another perfect way to finish off any holiday meal. The combination of tart cranberries and creamy cheesecake creates a unique flavor that is sure to please even the fussiest eaters. Enjoy a slice of this delightful dessert and share the joy of the season. 11. Pecan Pie Pecan pie is a classic Southern dessert, perfect for the holiday season. This decadent treat is made with a sweet, rich filling and loaded with crunchy pecans.

The perfect combination of sweet and salty, you can enjoy the unique flavor of this nutty pie and make it a staple at your holiday gatherings. 12. Chocolate Yule Log A classic French cake, a yule log, is as festive as it gets. It is made with a light and fluffy meringue-based sponge, filled with a rich and creamy chocolate ganache, and then rolled into a log shape. The log is then finished with a chocolate frosting, giving it the illusion of a fallen log. This is a show-stopping dessert like no other and is sure to be a hit with family and friends this holiday season! 13. Peppermint Bark Peppermint bark is a delicious holiday treat made of layers of white and dark chocolate swirled together and covered with crushed candy cane pieces. It's a perfect combination of sweet and minty flavors, making it a great after-meal dessert or snack to enjoy during this time of the year. If your guests like After Eights, they will dig up the peppermint bark. 14. Hot Cocoa Cake A Hot Cocoa Cake is a luxurious and indulgent treat. Made with rich, dark chocolate and topped with a creamy frosting, it is very sweet and sticky - perfect for satisfying anyone with a massive sweet tooth. You can serve it as an after-dinner treat or cut yourself a slice with your evening tea, this delicious cake is great for any time of the day. 15. Shortbread Cookies Made with just a few basic ingredients - butter, sugar, and flour, shortbread cookies are light, crumbly, and melt in your mouth with each bite you take. The perfect accompaniment to a cup of hot cocoa, these classic cookies are sure to bring a smile to everyone during the holiday season. 16. Peanut Butter Blossoms Peanut Butter Blossoms are a delicious and classic cookie with a soft and chewy peanut butter cookie base and a Hershey's Kiss perched on top. Simple to make but incredibly delicious, these “blossoms” make for an excellent gift too. So if you plan on surprising your mailman or building super with Christmas cookies, go with this one and win them over. 17. Snickerdoodles Snickerdoodles are soft and chewy cookies that are rolled in cinnamon and sugar. They are a great addition to any holiday cookie tray but can be enjoyed all year round! 18. Thumbprint Cookies Thumbprint cookies are a great way to make cookies special for the holidays.  The dough is shaped into balls and then pressed with the thumb to make a shallow indentation. The cookies can then be filled with your favorite jam or melted chocolate before being topped with festive sprinkles. You can bake them with your family and make a ritual out of it. 19.  Chocolate Chip Cookies Chocolate chip cookies are always a hit with kids and adults alike. They can be made with festive-colored chips and shaped into holiday designs using cookie cutters. Plus, who doesn’t love chocolate chip cookies, eh? Make them as chewy or crunchy as you want and stow some away for later. It’s a win-win! 20. Sugar Cookies Sweet and classic sugar cookies are a must for any Christmas celebration. They can be decorated with holiday-themed sprinkles, icing, candy canes, and other similar decorations. No matter what dessert you decide to make for Christmas, have fun in the process. Anything you make with love is sure to be a hit with all of your guests. So pull out your apron, preheat your oven, and start baking. The Christmas bells will start tolling before you know it. What are some of your favorite Christmas dessert to bring to friends and family.