#curse you joanns
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raven-617 · 8 days ago
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mother doesn't like the opossum ornament
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pink-lightsabre · 10 months ago
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god. it’s been. so long since i read the og pjo books. and i forgot how much they fucking Get Me
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actual-sleeping-beauty · 2 years ago
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My favorite way an author has answered the question, "what happens to your characters after the book ends?" is John Green's in text response in TFIOS that nothing happens because they're fictional. My second favorite response is Rick Riordan refusing to stop writing about his characters for like, 8 years after he should have let them go.
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tarudce22 · 11 days ago
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My brother finally got free of his shipment cursed now that his TWO YEAR LATE package finally arrived but im pretty sure he just passed it off to me!
PLEASE CAN MY STUFF GET HERE I WANT TO DO THIS PROJECT SO BADLY BEFORE MY MOTIVATION LEAVES IT FOREVER
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bitterkarella · 7 months ago
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Midnight Pals: Imagination
Neil Gaiman: [inhaling fresh morning air] ahhhh what a great day for a race! Clive Barker: what race? Gaiman: the HUMAN race Gaiman: i was just thinking of the awesome potential of the human mind Gaiman: and the limitless vista of the human imagination
Gaiman: just imagine! with the awesome power of imagination, YOU are in control of your own fantasies Gaiman: all you need is a pinch of curiosity, a dash of wonder Gaiman: and an ounce of whimsy!! Gaiman: butterfly in the skyyyy Gaiman: i can fly twice as hiiiigh
Gaiman: why, you could imagine anything! Gaiman: you could imagine a clockwork alligator as big as the sky! Gaiman: you could imagine a railroad conductor made of lemon drops! Gaiman: you could even imagine Gaiman: a boy who wears glasses and goes to a wizard school
Rowling: hello children Rowling: my lawyersss inform me there'sss some copyright infringement happening here Gaiman: ah but joanne Gaiman: if you check the time stamps, i'm sure you'll find that Tim Hunter actually PREDATES harry potter Rowling: Rowling: curssse you gaiman Rowling: you win thisss round
Rowling: curssse you gaiman Rowling: not even i am rich enough to overcome the limitsss of chronological time! Rowling: not yet Rowling: but sssomeday Rowling: if only i hadn't ssspent sso much on that fence
Alan Moore: [appearing in a clap of thunder] Behold! The Arch magus! King: the arch magus! Koontz: the arch magus! Lovecraft: the arch magus! Barker: the arch magus! Poe: the arch magus!
Alan Moore: behold! the story of the boy wizard antichrist! Rowling: ALRIGHT i can definitely sssue over this Moore: ah foolish mortal, observe and know... i never specifically SAID harry potter Rowling: Moore: i just said the boy wizard named [mumbles] who goes to school at [mumbles] school of witchcraft and wizardry and fights [mumbles]
Rowling: curse you moore! Rowling: alwayssss one ssstep ahead of the game! Rowling: curssse your plausssible deniability! Rowling: hmmm "plaussible deniability" huh? Rowling: well TWO can play that game...
Rowling: so anyway the nazis didn't actually commit those documented crimes King: gosh joanne that uh kinda sounds- Rowling: oh but you'll notice i never said the word "holocaust" Rowling: haha i'm too sslippery for you! Rowling: johnny law can't keep up! Rowling: they'll never catch JK Rowling with her molted ssskin around her anklesss!
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respectthepetty · 24 days ago
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THE REFERENCE!!!!!
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On God, if Do Hoe finessed his way into getting this money and living this fancy life, I would respect the hell out of him. He's being a whole asshole to my boy, but . . . be gay, do crime > being kind to the one man who has ever truly loved you.
The Dohoe ( and Hyeono ??!!?) College plot is driving me cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs like :
Why are you dissociating fam ?
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Dohoe can’t even lift his head I…
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And then Asmodeus herself to top it all off like say Hanseol University one more time show !
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gingersxng · 7 months ago
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Inappropriate Touching
Pairing: f!reader x Seonghwa x Yunho x Mingi x San
Genre: smut 18+
Summary: walking down the hallways on your new exciting job you came across a group of young handsome actors.. but it soon turns out acting and reality isn’t that far away from each other.
Notes: sub!reader, rough doms! Yunho, Mingi, San, Seonghwa, reader is a virgin, the boys are big perverts!!! ,they have no self control, much inappropriate touching!!!(which is not ok irl), adult movies, pet names (sweetheart, doll, darling, love, kitten, honey), groping, kissing, some cursing, fingering, oral (f receiving), licking, spitting, cum cum cum, cum eating, threesome, foursome, mentions of masturbation, dirty comments, unprotected sex (always be safe),rough sex, public sex, big dick yungi, marking (hickeys, bite marks), breeding, double penetration, slight bulge kink, recording. forgot something? maybe
Words: 3.7k
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it was your first day at your new job at the movie studio. it’s been a life long dream of yours to get to work with big movie stars and now you were finally standing outside the big doors. as you looked up at the sign of the big building you took a deep breath before finally heading inside to get started.
you felt like a child in a candy store watching all the pictures on the walls of famous actors and actresses. you were soon greeted by a young woman maybe a few years older than you, she was looking so professional with a black jumpsuit, black glasses and red long hair in a big bun.
“hi are you the new assistant?” she asked softly. “yes i am, I’m y/n” you said as you shaked her hand. “I’m Joanne, I’m gonna show you around a bit to make it a little easier for you” a smile formed on your face. she showed you all different sets from both new and old movies, you had also met many movie stars and staff while you walked around the big halls. you were coming to your final part of your little “tour” when Joanne stopped dragging you to the side.
“we have to be quiet cause they’re in the middle of rehearsals”. she whispered, didn’t sound as she cared to much. you didn’t really understand what kind of movie they were making but there were four men dressed roughly in suits, black ties and some of them had smeared lipstick on their mouths. a woman later appeared around the men and you finally got an answer on your early movie question. you felt yourself blush as you observed what they did to that woman, eyes wide. “c’mon let’s go, I’ll show you your room” she grabbed your arm and dragged you with her. it was kinda quiet down the hallways to your room and so were you. Joanne finally broke the ice. “I probably should give you a small warning but you have to keep this to yourself, okay?” she said with a half worried look on her face. “alright I promise” you suddenly got anxious.
you stopped outside the door to your room. “don’t be too sweet towards those guys back there, they can get a little too friendly if you know what I mean” she whispered so no one but you could hear her. your eyes widened not believing what she was saying, they were just acting.. wasn’t they? “I don’t wanna scare you or anything but it’s better to warn you if you would bump into one of them”. you found yourself speechless and your thoughts went all over the place, first day at your new job and now you should watch out for creeps?
“they didn’t look old tho” you suddenly said. “no, as I saw on your CV they’re two and three years older than you” your eyes widened once again. she was about to say something but were interrupted by footsteps coming your way and by the sound of the voices it was them, well two of them. your heart pumped hard in your chest watching as they came closer.
“looking good today Jo” one of them blurted out giving Joanne a wink. the taller guy got very close to her while a smirk appeared on his face “your ass looks great in this suit too” he said as he gave her ass a squeeze. you literally couldn’t believe what you were witnessing and she just let them do this to her. they were soon turning their attention to you, fuck.
“what do we have here huh?” the tall one said looking you up and down. he was so tall but actually very good looking, you started to blush and that’s just what they wanted you to.. “it’s our new assistant y/n and it’s her first day so keep your hands to yourself Yunho!” Joanne snapped. he guided his hand through his hair and let out a deep chuckle, omg! “nice to meet you y/n” both of them greeted you. you gave them a small smile and crossed your arms so your cleavage got more visible and that was a big mistake. their eyes acted like magnets, getting dragged to your breasts. you knew she’d given you a warning but there was something about them giving you all this attention that made you excited.
“damn looks like a juicy one” the other guy laughed as he eyed his tall friend. Yunho let out a quiet laugh as he looked you straight into your eyes, his smile dropping fast. he took a step closer to you and got interrupted by your friend. “alright, she’s not interested in you two” she said trying to get them to leave. actually you were beginning to get a little bit interested in them but maybe it was best to keep that to yourself. Yunho gave your ass a light slap as he passed you with a smirking grin on his face. the other man reached out his hand brushing it against your stomach and up to your breasts, he stuck his tongue out and gave you a wink. “Seonghwa!! you pervert!” Jo slapped him on the shoulder.
they had finally got out of sight and you could finally let out a deep breath trying to take in everything that happened in the last 10 minutes. “I’m so sorry y/n but this is something you should get used to if you’re gonna work here” she told you looking really pissed off by the boy’s behaviour against you. you couldn’t help but smile a little, “it’s alright”. she finally left you alone and you got into your room to get some rest. it didn’t take many minutes before you were interrupted by a knock on your door, you got up and peeped out trough the little window to see another tall guy standing outside. you opened and were greeted with a smile from the big guy. “hey sweetheart, I’m Mingi” his voice were deep and vibrated right through you. you didn’t get a chance to introduce yourself before he grabbed your arms and pushed you further into your room. his actions took you by surprise and you let out a scream. Mingi hurried to put his hand on your mouth to drown your screams, when you finally got quiet he pulled his hand away letting out a chuckle when he saw the scared expression on your face.
“what are you doing!!” you almost cried out looking up at the big boy. he pushed you down onto your desk and grabbed your chin. “my friends told me about the new sexy assistant and I thought I should see if it was true.. and fuck you are gorgeous” he said squeezing your cheeks. you could feel how your thighs began to push together and how your cheeks started to heat up. Mingi brought his head to your neck starting to place sloppy kisses along it up to your ear, his hands working their way to your ass. you really hoped no one would walk in on you making out with one of the “creeps”, even if this was very wrong you didn’t do anything to stop it.
Mingi slipped his hands inside your pants grabbing a handful of your naked ass. small moans left your mouth, your hands went straight to his hair and he let out a deep groan. “you like this huh?” Mingi whispered as he pulled your jeans off you. “yes” you whispered back. he pushed you down onto your back and separated your legs exposing your clothed core to him, your panties were off you in a flash and your hole were stuffed with two of his fingers. Mingi put his mouth on your clit rolling his tongue over the sensitive nub, your back arched at the new pleasure. “you taste so good” he growled against your clit. he added a third finger and fastened his pace on your clit making a moaning mess out of you.
“here you are!!” Seonghwa bursted into your room, his eyes darkened as soon as he saw the position you were in. you couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed having your bare pussy on display in front of the new man. “I see you’ve met the pussy eater” Seonghwa pushed Mingis head down harder on your pussy receiving moans from both of you. Mingi pulled away his slime covered face from your core. “says the guy who puts his hands down women’s tops” Mingi glared at the older man. “I can’t help it” Seonghwa threw a bitter look at him, he walked over to you and slid his hands inside your top and bra grabbing your firm breasts. he looked down at your pleasure filled face, he got closer to your face and attacked your lips kissing you upside down. it was messy and hot and you could feel how you got closer to your release. Seonghwa broke the kiss and squeezed your boobs hard making you squeak. “open your mouth kitten” you did as he said and watched as he gathered some saliva that he spit down into your mouth, you swallowed it and once again he was back kissing you.
Mingi was biting your clit sending electric waves up to your brain. he felt how your pussy clenched around his fingers and he curved them to hit the spongy spot inside you making you see white. your breath hitched in your throat and you moaned into Seonghwas mouth when you came onto Mingis fingers. both of them laughed at you when they saw how fucked out you looked. Mingi licked up all the cum from your hole. “sorry but we have to go back to the set kitten, believe me I’d rather fuck you than that bitch” Seonghwa grunted pushing his face in between your breasts licking a stripe along your cleavage. Mingi stole your panties sneaking them into his pocket and gave your pussy a quick kiss before they left.
- next day -
you had some free time so you were strolling through the building sneaking in to watch some movies in the making. a hand brushed against your ass and you quickly turned around to see yet another new face. the man scanned your body taking you all in, he leaned forward and brushed his thumb over your bottom lip. “enjoying yourself kitten?” you gulped and straightened yourself up feeling how your legs began to weaken. “y-yes I do” you fumbled not knowing were to look. an amusing look painted his face when he saw the affect he had on you. he took your hand and brought you with him to their movie set, the grip he had on your hand were firm to keep you from running away if you wanted to.
they were in the middle of a break so they had some time for you. the three other men sat down in a big round sofa that was down in a dark corner, the handsome muscular man pulled you with him. their eyes lit up as soon as you got in their sight, you blushed hard and began to bite the nail on your thumb, it really made you look innocent.
“look who I found standing all alone in the halls” the man pushed you forward so you stood in front of the other three. you could see how they were undressing you with their eyes and by the tents in their pants, they really liked what they saw. Yunho grabbed your wrist and pulled you down on his lap, you shivered at the feeling of his erection poking at your ass. he tugged at your skirt and caressed your soft thighs watching as goosebumps appeared. he put his mouth to your ear and whispered “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since yesterday, maybe I could get a pic of that sweet ass if yours huh?”. his words went straight to your pussy, feeling how you got wetter by the second. “why would you want that?” you said innocently looking him in the eyes knowing exactly why he wanted it. Yunho raised an eyebrow and dug his fingers into the flesh of your ass “so I have something to watch as I’m playing with my dick” the guy chuckled. the other guys laughed at his comment. you were stuck between these four men and your mind started to run wild the more they showed how much they wanted to use you.
“do you have a boyfriend doll?” Mingi slipped out. you shook your head and the look on his face turned devilish, you pushed your thighs together more. “are you a virgin?” Yunho asked pulling your skirt up slowly waiting for an answer. you stayed quiet for a few seconds looking around at the men. “yeah, I am” your voice dropped and you felt so embarrassed. something in them snapped and suddenly they seemed hornier than ever. Seonghwa stuck his hand down your top to… dang he got interrupted. you got company by a known friend, it was Jo. she was looking for you and couldn’t believe she would find you here of all places. “what are you doing here y/n?” she was surprised to see you sitting in Yunhos lap with Seonghwas hand down your top. “I’m working..” was the first thing you could think of. Seonghwa fought the urge to pull out your breasts from your top, he usually didn’t have much self control but for your sake he made an exception. “you guys are sick” she said before she finally left.
Seonghwa couldn’t hold it in anymore and pulled out your boobs from your bra, his mouth watered at the sight of your hardened red nipples, he brushed his thumb over them and you let out a small whimper. Yunho lifted you up and handed you over to San, the big man squeezed you against his chest. “don’t move doll, my grip will only get tighter” he bucked his hips up against your ass, his clothed hardness poking you right between your cheeks. Yunho unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants enough for his massive cock to spring free standing up against his stomach. the sight was making your arousal drip down your inner thighs and you crossed your legs standing in Sans embrace. Yunho patted his thigh signaling San to release you. “come sit love” he held a hand out to you. you walked over to the tall man, he turned you around back facing him while pulling up your skirt. the lack of underwear made him groan “no panties huh? what a good girl, all ready for us to abuse” his deep voice almost breaking you.
San slid his fingers through your folds, your arousal was smeared out on your inner thighs and he could slip in two fingers with ease, after feeling how tight you were he pulled them out again turning to the tall guy. “she’s so tight you’re gonna split her in half with your monster cock” Sans words brought a worried look to your face. Yunho slapped your ass “we don’t use condoms btw, hope that’s alright with you love?” you nodded and with that he sunk you down on his big cock, the wetness made it almost too easy for him to bottom out. it was a long moan that left your lips as you felt your pussy being stretched to the max. as Yunho were bouncing you up and down his dick San was attacking your lips and Seonghwa had got dibs on your breasts marking them as his own. it felt like you were in some kind of erotic dream, they dragged out moans and whimpers out of you leaving you a fucking mess.
Mingi had pulled out his cock too, he spat in his hand and pumped his length a few times. he got up from the sofa and pushed the other two out of the way, he pushed your back against Yunhos chest and positioned himself onto you bringing his cock to your already stuffed hole. “it won’t fit idiot” San mocked the man. “I’ll make it fit” Mingi pushed the tip into your pussy making you scream, tears falling down your cheeks. Yunho pulled out a bit for Mingi to fit better, he then dried your tears with his thumb. Yunho and Mingi occupied each side of your neck while they pumped their massive dicks into your gushy hole. “fuck I swear it feels a thousand times better when she’s a virgin” Mingi groaned into your ear. a familiar feeling appeared in your stomach and it got worse with each of their thrusts. Mingi pushed your knees up to your chest getting better and deeper access, the bulge on your stomach drove him crazy. “I’m gonna cum” Yunho warned. “are you gonna let us breed you honey? let us knock you up” he growled as his thrusts got faster. being all over the place you couldn’t get a single word out but you nodded and moaned in response, your mouth hung open.
“knock her up already we’re getting impatient here” Seonghwa whined as he palmed his cock through his pants. a couple more thrusts and both men released their big loads deep inside you, their hair had gotten more messy and they had beads of sweat dripping down their foreheads. the cum were seeping out between their cocks, they pulled out and laid you down onto your back. Yunho pushed the cum back inside your abused pussy, a proud smirk forming on his face. “in a few months we want to see this pretty belly of yours grow darling” Mingi teased you, he took a handful of your little belly fat and squeezed it.
San was quick to swap places with Yunho, impatiently he pulled out his leaking cock and towered over your half naked form. he slid the tip in slowly until he was fully seated pushing both Mingis and Yunhos cum further inside you, his pace quickened fast and his hold onto your sides grew harder. “fuuck, this little pussy of yours is driving me insane” San growled, his feline eyes pierced holes through you. his mouth assaulted your sore nipples while he slammed his hips against yours with all the strength he had. you began to cry and your whole body started to hurt. Seonghwa kissed you harshly and wiped your tears away, he moved down to your neck sucking on the flesh leaving purple marks. “don’t cry honey we’ll take care of you” he purred.
you could feel Sans cock twitch, he buried his dick deep inside you letting his release paint your walls white, he stayed like that for a while not wanting any cum to go to waste. the thought of knocking you up made his brain malfunction. San pushed down his hand on your lower stomach to feel how deep he was, with a groan he finally pulled out.
Seonghwa helped you up and sunk you down on his dick. you swung your arms around his neck and buried your face in it, he helped moving your hips up and down his length since your body started to give out. each time his cock brushed against your cervix you were one step closer to your awaited orgasm. “mmh it feels so good” you whispered softly in his pierced ear. Seonghwa took his time with you and wasn’t as rough as the others, not yet anyway. he stilled his movements, you looked him in the eyes with a questioning look wondering why he stopped. a smirk appeared on his face and he turned his gaze to someone else. a pair of strong arms lifted you up on your wobbly legs and Seonghwa followed. “ready to get double stuffed again kitten?” you heard Sans voice behind you, his breath tingled against your ear and it almost made you cum on the spot. you were now sandwiched between the two men, uplifted in their arms. they both placed their tips to your entrance, it was no problem to slide in their hard cocks from all the cum and your insane amount of arousal, plus you got stretched out good a couple minutes ago by two monster cocks. they synced their thrusts as they slammed up into your sensitive core, your high pitched moans was music to their ears. the knot was building up in your stomach and you were so close now, Sans hand toyed with your swollen clit whilst Seonghwa had his fun with your nipples making your eyes turn white.
Seonghwa kissed your collarbone and cooed “cum for us now love”. San bucked up his hips and groped your ass hard, he left a bite mark on your shoulder making you cry out quietly. a few seconds later your orgasm hit you and your whole body turned to jelly, not long after you felt a hot big wave of cum entering you. deep groans left their filthy mouths as they emptied themselves deep inside you. “good girl” San said huskily as he pulled out.
after they’d both pulled out Mingi gave you your panties back that he stole from you yesterday on his little visit. you gave him a tired smile and put them on you. “I should probably go and get some rest” you said as you put your boobs inside your top again. “need some company?” Mingi asked with a nasty smirk on his face. Yunho slapped the big man on his arm “as tempting as it sounds I actually think we should let her rest for a while, she’ll need it” he smiled at you. they gave you small kisses on your face before you headed back to your room.
“she’s a keeper” Mingi said watching as your ass bounced with every step you took. Yunho groaned and placed himself on the sofa again, he took out his phone and let out a light chuckle. “did you get it all?” San asked. “oh yeah I did”
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inmyglenpowellera · 4 months ago
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Bad Reputation Part 3 | Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Taylor Swift inspired!OC
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Request: Requested by @akornsworld
Word Count: 10,505 words
Summary: There's that saying for some people, “You can't go home again.” When you grow up and leave, that's it, you don't go back home. Presley Joann Benjamin (stage name Presley Jo) believed that was the case for her. Never did she think she would be right back where she started. But her Aunt insisted it was the best for her. She thought for sure her life and career were over until she meets a certain cocky aviator.
Warnings: Alcohol use, cursing, fluff, Jake being an absolute gentleman, Rooster and Coyote being supportive besties, smut (if you are not 18+ do not read), protected sex (wrap it before you tap it), oral (female receiving), vaginal fingering
A/N: As promised, here is the sexuals. The tag list will be at the end of each chapter.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
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It has been about a couple of months since Jake and I’s first date, and things couldn’t have possibly been better. As promised, he texted me goodnight and good morning after our first date, to which I replied he left his jacket. His response? Keep it, he’s gotta mark his territory somehow.
Ever since the night of our first date, he has been so understanding of my anxiety about going out in public on our dates. Since then, he’s been trying to find ways to have dates from home.
We went on a second date a week later, which consisted of us just sitting on the couch at his house eating takeout, and playing board games. Something so simple but felt like everything between us. We just sat around eating and laughing before I left and went home with a simple good-night kiss that I was wishing would turn into more. However, I held myself back because I owed Jake the same respect he was giving me, no matter how badly I wanted to climb the blonde godlike aviator like a tree.
Our third date was amazing. Jake told me he was going to pick me up and take me to the movies. My anxiety couldn’t help but spike again at his words and I reluctantly agreed to his idea. I dressed in comfy clothes as he asked and rode in the car with him to our date, only for him to pull back up at his house. My obvious look of confusion towards him caused him to laugh and help me out of the car before leading me through his house and into his small backyard. My confusion turned to immense shock at the sight in front of me. Jake had fairy lights strung across his backyard to light up the area, a tent set up with a mattress, pillows, and blankets, and a projector and screen set up.
“Jake,” I said in shock.
“I said I was going to take you to the movies,” Jake shrugged at me, looking down at me smugly.
I scoffed at him and shook my head. “How did you-”
“Coyote,” Jake said simply.
I nodded at him in understanding before looking down. “He doesn’t-”
“No, he doesn’t know about you specifically. He just knows that there is a girl I’m trying hard to impress,” He answered quickly, cutting me off again.
I smiled up at him softly before wrapping my arm around his neck. “Well, if you keep trying as hard as you are, things will begin to sway in your favor,” I told him smugly before bringing him down into a kiss.
That night was spent under the stars, watching movies, or at least partially watching movies, there was a lot of kissing that led to some touching. Jake asked me to stay that night, and as much as I wanted to tease him and say no like he did to me on our first date, I decided not to happily stay. The two of us slept in the tent cuddled up together under the stars and listened to the ocean in the background.
It was after the third date and spending such a great night with Jake that I decided I wanted to pull the trigger on finding a place in Fightertown. I realized how much I loved all of our time spent together and that I never wanted to go back to New York. I wanted to be wherever he was. Penny and I started looking everywhere around the area when the two of us had free time, occasionally Bradley and Maverick would join the two of us. Sometimes Jake and I went by ourselves if nobody else was free. Thankfully, money was not a problem so it was fairly easy to find a place I liked, my only stipulations being it was on the beach and had enough space for a music room. I found a place within a month and was moved in within a week. Jake and I are now going into our third month together and this has possibly been the happiest I’ve ever been in a while.
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I had been staying in my new house for a few days now, Jake had yet to come over and see it. I had finished unpacking late last night with Penny, Amelia, Mav, and Bradley’s help. Luckily no heavy lifting needed to be done thanks to the movers doing all of it. They drove all of my stuff from New York across the country to Cali after I sold my loft there.
I woke up from a dead sleep in my bed to my phone ringing. Recognizing the ringtone, I grinned and leaned up out of bed, reaching over to my nightstand to grab my phone.
“Good morning, Mr. Eastwood,” I greeted with a sleepy smile.
“Good morning, beautiful. How’s the new house treating you,” He asked me curiously.
“Good, but it’s so lonely. I think it’s missing something,” I told him, trying to hint at him spending some time with me.
Jake chuckled at my words before speaking. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Oh, you know, just spending time at home, all by my lonesome, watching the sunset from my balcony while I wait for my knight in shining flight suit to come and save me,” I sighed, picking at my blanket.
“Well, your knight is also free tonight and has a big surprise for you,” He said smugly.
“Oh, really,” I asked curiously.
“Mhm,” Jake said as I heard a jet taking off on his end of the phone.
“What is it,” I asked again.
“If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise,” He said in amusement. I groaned at his words and heard him chuckle again. “Just wear something fancy.”
“Jake…,” I trailed off in a warning tone.
“Just trust me. I’ll pick you up at 7,” He told me before hanging up.
I scoffed at his words and shook my head at him, leaning up out of bed to get moving for the day.
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“What are you going to wear,” Amelia asked me over Facetime as I dug through my walk-in closet.
“I don’t know. He just said it was a surprise and to dress fancy,” I shrugged at her.
“Well that’s helpful,” She said sarcastically as she petted Theo.
I was going through my dresses when I paused at the last one on the rack.
“Amelia, I think it’s time,” I said simply, causing the young girl to gasp.
“You mean-”
“Yes, the third date dress,” I told her, pulling it off the rack and holding it in front of me.
“But this isn’t your third date. It's like your 5th or 6th,” She pointed out.
“No, but tonight that doesn’t matter,” I told her simply before moving to change.
“So, are you going to wear the third date bra too then,” She asked me curiously.
“Um, yeah…,” I trailed off, knowing there was no wearing a bra with this dress.
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“You never did tell me what this big surprise was,” I hummed to Jake, turning in my seat to prop my head on my hand resting on the middle console.
“That's precisely what you just said it is. A surprise,” Jake said with a smirk, briefly looking over at me.
“Well, I’d like to know what to expect so that I can have an escape plan from whatever fancy restaurant you are taking me to when the paparazzi inevitably show up,” I informed him, gesturing to the dress he told me to wear and the nice clothing he was also sporting.
“You won’t have to worry about the paparazzi showing up,” Jake reassured me.
“Jake, seriously, it’s going to happen. No matter where you take me-”
“It’s not going to happen tonight, Pres. Trust me,” Jake reassured me, placing a hand on my knee.
I sighed and nodded before shifting in my seat again. We remained silent for about 5 more minutes before Jake told me we were about 5 minutes away and asked me to close my eyes. I give him a look in response causing him to laugh out a “please.” I sighed but did as he asked. We continued driving to the restaurant before we stopped. I felt Jake get out of the car before walking around to my side and opening the door for me. He helped me out of the car before telling who I’m assuming is a valet not to scratch his truck. I scoffed and rolled my eyes before allowing him to lead me into the restaurant.
“Can I open my eyes now,” I asked.
“No, keep them closed until we get to our table,” Jake told me, leading me to the back of the building and out the back doors.
“Oh, we’re eating outside,” I asked with a bright grin.
“With an ocean view. Nothing less for you Pres,” Jake said before pulling a chair out for me and helping me sit down. “Okay, you can open now.”
I opened my eyes and looked around me to see the back deck of the Hard Deck. “The Hard Deck, Jake seriously?”
“It’s not the Hard Deck,” Jake denied, shaking his head in denial and moving to sit across from me.
“Yes, it is. I think I recognize the bar my aunt owns and that I used to work at,” I argued with him, gesturing around me towards the deck.
“We aren’t at the Hard Deck. We’re at Il Mazzo Duro,” He shrugged at me smugly, a smirk on his lips.
I hummed the name to myself in confusion before realization came across my face. “That’s The Hard Deck in Italian,” I pointed out in frustration.
Jake’s smirk immediately dropped and he looked at me in shock. “You know Italian?”
“Of course, I know Italian. My father was Italian,” I argued with him.
Jake continued to look at me in shock before humming and nodding. “Huh, you learn something new every day.”
I shook my head at him in disbelief before looking to my left when somebody walked up the table.
“Hello, and welcome to Il Mazzo Duro. My name is Penny and I am the owner of this fine establishment. Here are your menus, your waiter will be with you soon,” My aunt told the two of us with a smile, a fancy black dress, and high heels donning her body.
I scoffed and shook my head at her in disbelief, accepting my menu and laughing at her wink she shot me before leaving me and Jake on the deck by ourselves. I shook my head and looked over at Jake who had his nose in the menu before him.
“I’m thinking of getting the lobster, what about you beautiful,” Jake asked me curiously, looking over the menu and raising his eyebrows at me. “You haven’t even opened the menu yet. You better figure out what you want before our waiter gets here.”
“What is going on right now,” I asked him, shaking my head in disbelief.
Jake stared at me for a few seconds before he sighed and leaned forward, placing his menu down on the table and placing his hand palm up and open on the table. I looked down at his hand before leaning forward and placing my hand in his own.
“On our first date, you were talking about how you wish you could be normal. You wish you could go out to eat at a crowded restaurant just like every other person and not be completely mobbed by paparazzi or fans. So that’s what we’re doing,” Jake told me, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.
“But that’s not what we’re doing. We’re completely alone,” I said, gesturing around me.
“Are we,” Jake asked with a smug smirk.
Right after his words, the back door of the Hard Deck opened and I watched as Maverick led my aunt to a table, followed by Amelia and Theo (who was wearing a bow tie), and Ice and Sarah. I watched them all move to sit at different tables in the area and shook my head in disbelief as tears rose.
“Jake,” I whispered out, sniffling slightly.
“When we first met, before I even knew who you were, I promised myself that I was one, going to get your name, and two, I was going to do everything in my power to keep you happy because that is what you deserve. So let me try and give you this one thing,” Jake told me, squeezing my hand.
I squeezed his hand back before nodding. “Okay.” I took my hand back and opened my menu, looking down at it. “So you got my aunt and her boyfriend, my surrogate aunt and uncle, and my little cousin and her dog in on this. Who else?”
“Well, Coyote was the valet, and don’t worry he didn’t see you,” Jake informed me with a shrug.
“Of course he was,” I said with a chuckle.
“And there’s also-”
“Good evening beautiful lady and average-looking gentleman my name is Bradley and I will be your waiter tonight,” Bradley greeted the two of us, dressed in black slacks with a white button-up, black vest, and black bowtie.
“Of course,” I said in amusement, looking up at my best friend.
“Rooster,” Jake greeted with slight annoyance at his calling him average-looking.
“Can I get the happy couple started with any drinks,�� Bradley asked the two of us.
“Bring us the best bottle of wine you have,” Jake told him.
“Thank you, Killer,” I said with a grin and a shake of the head.
“You’re welcome, Queenie. I’ll be back for entrees,” Bradley told the two of us, shooting me a wink before leaving our table.
I shook my head and laughed before looking over at Jake. “You went all out, didn’t you?”
“Like I said, only the best for you Pres,” Jake shrugged at me with a smile.
After his statement, Bradley returned to our table with breadsticks and a bottle of wine, which he showed to Jake, who examined the label before nodding. I shook my head at my two goofballs before accepting my glass of wine with a thank you.
“Have we decided on entrees,” Bradley asked the two of us, pulling a notepad out of his pocket.
“Yes, I will have the lobster,” Jake told him, handing him his menu.
“And for the lady,” Bradley questioned, looking towards me.
“The chicken alfredo, please,” I told him, handing him my menu as well.
“Coming right up,” He told the two of us before walking away.
Jake lifted his wine glass and held it out towards me in the form of cheers. “To being normal for one night.”
“To be normal,” I said with a smile, clinking my glass against his before taking a sip.
Jake did the same and set his glass down before leaning forward onto the table and looking at me curiously. “So you know Italian?”
“Mhm, my father was Italian. My grandfather met my grandmother in Italy while he was stationed there. He married her and brought her to America where they had my dad,” I told him, placing my wine down and resting my head on my hands.
“Tell me something in Italian,” He told me with a bright grin.
“Anything,” I asked him, a smirk building on my face.
“Anything at all,” He nodded.
“Are you sure,” I asked again.
“Positive,” He confirmed.
“Okay, um… Sei il mio bel cowboy, e non vedo l'ora di portarti a fare un giro speciale più tardi,” I said with a smirk, grabbing my wine from the table and taking another sip afterward.
I watched Jake’s lips curve into a smirk and his eyes clouded over with lust before he released a breath and shook his head. “Damn, baby girl. I think that was just about the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth,” He breathed out, his accent thicker than usual.
“You don’t even know what I said,” I pointed out.
“Well, you could always tell me,” He offered up.
“Hm, I could. Or I could also let you wait and find out what I said later,” I said seductively, biting my lip.
Jake's eyes were immediately drawn to my lips and his eyes darkened even more when Bradley came over to our table and placed our food down in front of us. I thanked him with a bright smile and began to dig into my pasta as Jake started on his lobster. We continued a light conversation, talking about how work has been for him and how moving into my own home has been for me. He scolded me for moving heavy furniture by myself and I reassured him that I had the movers doing all of the work. We then moved on to the topic of his family. He had his mom and dad and three sisters, one older and two younger. All of them have settled down and had kids of their own. His oldest sister has two little girls, his middle sister has a daughter and son, and his youngest sister has two girls and two boys. He went on to tell me about how all of his nieces love me and my music and one of them just had a Presley Jo-themed birthday party.
“I didn’t know that was a thing,” I chuckled, thinking of all the little girls running around dressed as me at a children's birthday party.
“Well, my sisters and Mom made it a thing,” Jake told me, a fond grin on his face.
“I’d love to meet them someday,” I told him with a soft smile.
Jake looked back at me and grinned softly as well before giving me an adamant nod. “And you will. One day. When you feel safe and comfortable enough to let the world know, I’ll let the other important women in my life know.”
“You don’t have to keep me a complete secret from them, Jake. You can at least let them know you’re seeing somebody,” I reassured him.
“I know that… Now. I just didn’t want to make you feel pressured or feel forced into anything,” He argued with me.
I reached out and placed my hand on top of his arm and rubbed it soothingly. “You aren’t forcing me into anything. I’m all in. Willingly.”
Jake moved his arm to grasp my hand and began rubbing his thumb across the back of it before a soft smile overtook his face again. “All in, huh?”
I nodded at him and gazed into his eyes as Bradley came walking up to our table again. “I hope you guys saved room for dessert.”
Jake broke our gaze and looked up at Bradley to reply, but I cut him off. “We did. We’ll just take it to go.”
Bradley raised his eyebrow at me and I sent him a look with my eyes that helped him catch on.
“Oh! I will get that to go. I will go do that right now. As soon as possible,” Bradley nodded at me in understanding, rushing off to grab our dessert.
Jake turned and watched Bradley rush into the Hard Deck before turning and looking at me with raised eyebrows.
“What do you say we go back to my place and you find out what I said earlier,” I questioned him with a seductive smirk.
A smirk broke out on Jake’s face as well before he nodded in agreement. “Yes, ma’am.”
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Jake refused to take his hand off my leg the entire drive back to my house. He alternated between squeezing my knee and running his hand up my thigh before resting it on my knee again. My left hand remained resting on the forearm of his hand, rubbing my thumb along his arm as he drove. When we reached my house, he pulled into the driveway before throwing his truck into the park. He looked over at me and softly told me to wait before climbing out of the car and moving around it to open my door for me. I turned to the side and Jake moved his way in between my legs, looking up at me with a soft smile. I smiled back at him and ran my hands from his shoulders and up into the back of his hair.
“Are you sure you want to do this tonight, darlin’,” He asked me softly.
“I’ve never been more sure about something in my life,” I told him softly before placing a kiss on his lips.
Jake hummed and deepened the kiss, placing his hands on my thighs and slowly moving them up to my waist, bunching my black dress up as he moved his hands. I released a breath and briefly skimmed my tongue along his lips before gripping his bottom lip in my teeth and tugging at it, releasing it after. Jake groaned and squeezed my hips before pulling away.
“I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me beautiful,” Jake rasped out to me.
“Well, there’s only one way to find out,” I whispered to him, giving his hair a soft tug before releasing.
I reached behind me and gripped our dessert in my hand before hopping down from my seat in the truck. I grabbed my clutch from the floorboard and reached into it to grab my keys before walking around Jake to walk up to my house. I looked behind me to see Jake closing the door to his truck, but not taking his eyes off of my form. I smirked at him before looking back forward and swinging my hips as I walked up my front porch to my front door. I unlocked my door and walked in, hearing Jake following close behind me. I took my heels off as Jake took his shoes off as well. He reached forward took dessert from my hands and moved toward my kitchen and I moved toward the stairs to go to my bedroom. I walked down the hall to the last room on the left and walked inside. I walked over to my vanity and placed my clutch down. I then moved to stand at the end of my bed and waited for Jake to join me.
“Last chance to change your mind, beautiful. Because once I get started, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stop,” Jake said softly as he walked into my room, standing behind me at the foot of my bed.
I smirked before repeating what I said earlier. “Sei il mio bellissimo cowboy e non vedo l'ora di portarti a fare un giro speciale.”
“What does that mean,” Jake breathed out, moving my hair from my shoulder and beginning to run his nose softly along my neck, leaving soft kisses in his wake.
“You’re my handsome cowboy, and I can’t wait to take you for a special ride,” I breathed out, leaning back into him.
Jake let out a growl before gripping my waist tightly in his hands and pulling me back against him. He used one hand to hold my hair out of his way and the other wrapped around my waist. I reached up behind me and wrapped my arm around the back of his head, threading my fingers in his hair while my other hand gripped his arm wrapped around me. I gave soft tugs on his hair as Jake began devouring my neck, leaving kisses and love bites up and down the expanse of it. My grip became tighter and I tugged harder when Jake attacked the sweet spot at the back of my ear, causing him to release a groan of pleasure. I released a moan of pleasure in return and tightened my grip on the arm around my waist that was now holding me upright. Jake released his hold around my waist and slowly let his hand trail across my abdomen and around my back. He then brought his hand up to rest on the tie that was holding my dress up on my shoulder.
“Can I,” Jake breathed out in my ear, gripping my earlobe between his teeth after, and tugging at It.
“Yes, please, Jake. I want you to touch me,” I breathed out in response, nodding my head eagerly.
Jake released my hair and brought his other hand to rest on the zipper on the back of my dress. He pulled it down before placing his hands on both ties on my shoulders. He released the knots of both, causing my dress to slide down my body and rest around my feet on the floor. I spun in my spot, kicking my dress out of the way in the process. I looked up at Jake and bit my lip nervously as he stared down at me, taking in my bare breasts and my black lace underwear.
“You’re beautiful,” He breathed out before leaning down and kissing me.
I eagerly returned the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck, entangling one of my hands in his hair again and continuing to tug at it. Our kiss quickly became even more heated and I allowed Jake's tongue to invade my mouth. Jake placed his hands on my waist and moved them slowly down my sides, over my butt, and down to my thighs.
“Jump,” Jake breathed out against my lips, causing me to do so without breaking my kiss with him.
Jake placed one arm around my back to keep me pressed against him and another on my thigh to keep my legs wrapped around his waist. He stepped forward and placed a knee on the bed before leaning forward and laying me down. Our kiss did not break as my back gently came in contact with the bed and Jake slotted himself between my legs. I released a moan as his pelvis grinded down against mine and I rutted against him to try and feel the friction again.
“Oh, god, Jake,” I moaned out against his lips, breathing heavily as he began trailing kisses down my neck again.
I reached down and gripped Jake’s hand resting on my waist in my own and began guiding it up my chest until it rested on my left breast, my chest heaving up and down in his palm. Jake groaned and trailed his kisses down in between my breasts where he rested his forehead for a moment.
“You are going to be the death of me,” He breathed against my chest before moving his head to my right breast, sucking my nipple into his mouth as his other hand began playing with my breast.
“At least you’ll die a happy man,” I moaned out, gripping his hair in my hands and pulling.
Jake let out a groan of agreement as he continued paying attention to my right breast. He sucked and licked at the skin before gripping the nipple between his teeth and giving a slight tug. He smirked up at me when I released a borderline pornographic moan at his actions.
“Don’t look at me like that. I haven’t been touched by anyone in so long,” I breathed out to him.
“Well then, let’s change that shall we,” Jake said before switching breasts and repeating his previous actions on my left breast, his hand playing with my right and eliciting more moans from me.
“Jake, I need you to touch me,” I moaned out.
Jake released my left breast with a pop and began kissing his way back up my chest, to my neck, and my jaw, then placing a breathless kiss on my lips.
“How do you want me, Darlin’,” He breathed out against my lips.
“I just need to feel something, please,” I begged him, connecting my lips back to his and removing my hands from where they were tangled in his hair.
I trailed my hands from around his neck and down to his button-up to begin working on removing it. My hand fumbled down the length of his shirt as I tried to unbutton it as quickly as possible. Once I reached the last button, I brought my hands to Jake’s shoulders to remove the currently offensive fabric. Jake assisted me in my endeavor and wasted no time in pulling the fabric down his arms and tossing it haphazardly across my room. With the fabric no longer in the way, his dog tags were able to hang freely from his neck and run along my chest. I let my hands run down the toned plains of his chest and down to his abs, feeling the rock-hard muscle beneath my fingers. I then let my fingers trail down farther to his dress pants, letting my fingers hook in the belt loops and give a tug, causing Jake’s pelvis to once again come in contact with my own. I released a moan at the contact and allowed my hands to trail lower past Jake’s belt and to the growing member straining against his pants. I let my hands trail over the shape and squeezed slightly, causing Jake to break from our kiss to release a groan of immense pleasure. Jake reached down and grasped my hands in his own and pulled them up to place a kiss on each of them.
“This is all about you Darlin’,” He told me softly, taking both of my hands and placing them back on his neck.
I smiled softly up at him at his words and gripped his chain in one of my hands, pulling him down to connect my lips back to his. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips before trailing his kisses down my neck, to my chest, down my stomach, before stopping at my black lace panties. He looked up at me with a questioning look, and all it took was a soft nod from me for him to grip my underwear in his hands and slowly tug them down my legs. He trailed kisses in the fabric's wake until they were completely removed, tossing them over his shoulder. He then trailed kisses back up my legs, leaving some on the inside of my thighs, before placing another one just above where I wanted him the most. He raised himself from the bed and away from me, causing me to whine in protest and reach for him.
“Let me see all of you, Darlin’,” He said breathlessly, looking down at me with adoration.
I smirked at him before opening my legs wide, allowing him to see everything I had to offer him. Jake groaned at the sight and ran a hand down his face.
“All of this for me,” He breathed out.
I nodded at him wordlessly before reaching forward and gripping his hand in my own once again. I looked up at him and stared into his eyes as I guided his hand down to where I needed him most. Jake released a groan when he felt how wet I was and I released his hand to let him do as he pleased. Jake ran his fingers along my folds, gathering my wetness as he did. I couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of him touching me so delicately, feeling like I could combust right now and he hasn’t even properly touched me yet.
“Jake, please,” I breathed out, looking up at him desperately.
Jake listened to my pleas and delicately slid a single finger into my entrance, bringing his thumb up to rub at my clit at the same time. Jake leaned back forward, holding himself up with his free hand, and brought me into a searing kiss. I couldn’t help but arch my back up into him and grip the bedsheets tightly in my fists. I broke away from Jake and brought my hands up to cup his face. 
“Jake, I need more,” I breathed against his lips, desperate to reach my first high.
I felt Jake nod before sliding one more finger in with his first and resuming our desperate kisses. The pleasure was so blinding that I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like when he was actually inside of me. Jake began pumping his fingers in and out of me, spreading me wide with his fingers occasionally. I couldn’t help myself and began grinding myself against his hand, feeling the cool metal of his graduation ring occasionally graze against my heat. Jake, seeing this, began curling his fingers while inside of me, searching for that sweet spot I desperately craved for him to find. When he finally came in contact with it, I reached down and gripped his arm tightly in my own, breaking our kisses once again.
“Fuck, right there. Don’t stop, please, I’m so close,” I told him, feeling my climax beginning to come quickly.
Upon hearing my words, Jake removed his fingers from their current location. I gasped in shock and looked up at him in disbelief before I watched him bring his hand up to his lips and suck his fingers clean of my arousal. My skin burned like fire at his actions and I couldn’t help but reach for him, pulling him back to me and bringing my lips to his, tasting myself in our kiss. Jake broke the kiss himself this time and trailed kisses down my neck, and my chest and paid special attention to my breasts briefly, before trailing his lips down my abdomen and stopping above my clit. His breath fanned softly across it as he looked up at me with a smirk. I raised myself onto my elbows to look down at him, lifting one of my hands to run through his hair.
“Don’t worry Darlin’. I’ll get you there again,” Jake reassured me before diving in like a man who didn’t just have dinner less than an hour ago.
“Oh, god,” I moaned out, falling onto my back and tightening my grip on his hair.
I couldn’t stop the mewls and moans as Jake licked a stripe from my entrance to my clit before focusing on my sensitive bud. He sucked and lapped at the bundle of nerves as he threw both of my legs over his shoulders and yanked me to the end of the bed so he could have proper access. He placed a hand on my abdomen to prevent me from moving and used his other to hold my thighs open properly. I felt the distinct pinch of his teeth tugging on my clit and felt myself jump briefly, Jake struggling to hold me down at my unexpected jolt.
“Fuck, Jake.”
Jake let his tongue trail down to my soaking entrance and delved in with his tongue, letting it poke and prod at my entrance a few times before returning to my clit and sliding his fingers back inside of me. I felt myself begin to tingle with anticipation of my release, the coil inside of my belly beginning to tighten with every swipe of his tongue and every insertion of his fingers.
“Jake, I’m close,” I told him, my legs beginning to tighten in his grip.
“Let go, Darlin’. Don’t hold anything back,” He breathed out against me before continuing his work.
“Oh. Oh, god,” I moaned, gripping his hair tighter with one hand and bringing my other hand to grip my breast, kneading and pinching the mound.
The coil became tighter and tighter until- 
“I- I’m,” I didn’t get to finish my statement before I released on Jake's tongue and fingers, feeling the aviator lap up my juices until I was finished.
He raised from his position and hovered over me, wiping his chin with his hand and looking at me smugly.
“How was that, Darlin’,” Jake questioned smugly.
“I think you’re the first guy to find my clit without any sort of guidance. That was so hot,” I breathed, reaching forward and gripping his dog tags in my grip.
I pulled him down to me and placed my lips against his again, him placing his hands back on my waist. I let my hand trail down his body once again and began pulling at his belt, releasing the item from the buckle and pulling it from his pants. I then unbuttoned his pants and pulled the zipper down before finding the waistband to his boxer briefs. I gripped the waistband briefly before releasing it, letting it snap back into place against his waist and smirking against Jake’s lips when he flinched slightly. I returned my hand to its previous position and slipped it past the waistband of his underwear, gripping his hard member in my hand. I brought my thumb to the tip and gathered the precum at the end, swirling it around the head and using it as lubrication to begin pumping Jake’s cock. Jake bucked into my hand briefly before breaking our kiss and reaching down to grab my hand in his own, pulling it from his underwear.
“Darlin’, as much as I love having my dick in your hand, and trust me, I do, I would much rather be inside you right now,” He breathed out against my lips.
I nodded at him in acknowledgment. “Okay. I need you inside of me.”
Jake groaned and nodded back. “Lay down.”
I quickly moved to lie down on my back at the head of the bed, resting my head against the pillows. I watched as Jake stripped himself of his pants and underwear, standing before me at the end of the bed, in all his glory. I moaned at the sight of his cock, and felt myself grow even wetter at the thought of it filling me up completely. Jake slowly crawled up the bed until he was hovering over me and placed a delicate kiss on my lips before pulling away.
“Are you-,” He started, but I cut him off.
“I’m on birth control. But I would still much rather use a condom. It’s our first time together and you can never be too safe,” I told him.
Jake nodded at me in understanding. “I have one in my wallet,” He started, moving to go to the end of the bed.
“Don’t worry about it. I have some in my bedside table,” I told him, gesturing to the table on the right side of my bed and not wanting him to move too far away from me.
Jake smirked at me before reaching for my drawer, pulling it open, and reaching in to grab a condom from the box. Jake ripped the package open and withdrew the rubber, throwing the package to the side and moving to slide the condom down his length. When he had it placed properly, he leaned back over me, resting on his forearms, and looked into my eyes. He brought his hand up and tucked some of my hair behind my ear.
“I’m going to go slow. Let me know if I’m hurting you, okay,” Jake whispered to me.
I nodded at him and leaned up to bring him into another kiss as he positioned himself at my entrance, letting the tip of his cock run up towards my clit before trailing back down. I moaned at the feeling and brought my legs up to wrap around his waist. I tightened them, causing Jake to move closer to me and his cock to poke even more at my entrance. Sensing my urgency, Jake let the head of his cock enter me, giving me a moment to acquaint myself with the stretch. I moaned as he waited a moment before pushing further in until he was about halfway inside me.
“You can go all the way, Jake. I can take it,” I reassured him, wrapping my arms around his neck and threading one of my hands into his hair.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Darlin’,” Jake expressed.
“You won’t. I promise,” I reassured him, placing a kiss on his cheek.
Jake nodded before pressing himself completely inside me. The two of us simultaneously released moans of pleasure followed by a breathless expression of “You’re so big” and Jake’s  statement of “You’re so tight.” Jake rested his forehead against my own as he waited for me to adjust to his size, occasionally placing a kiss on my nose and cheeks.
“Are you okay, Darlin’,” Jake asked me softly.
I nodded, wrapping my arms under his own and around his shoulders, leaning up to place a kiss on his lips.
“Can I move,” He asked, beginning to breathe heavily due to his restraint.
I took a deep breath myself and focused on the feeling of Jake inside me. I moaned softly, and bucked my hips, nodding at him.
“Yes, please.”
Jake nodded back before he started moving. He withdrew himself briefly before pushing back in and beginning a torturously slow pace. I moaned at his movement, feeling him move in and out of me, my walls fluttering and squeezing him as he moved. Jake thrust two… three more times before adjusting his position, raising himself to rest his weight on his hands in an attempt to reach my sweet spot. I couldn’t help but clench at the new position, causing him to groan in pleasure and stutter his hips.
“If you keep squeezin’ me like that, I’m not going to last long.”
“You haven’t had sex with anybody but your hand since you met me, I didn’t expect you to last very long anyways,” I breathlessly said to him, a smirk taking over my face.
Jake looked down at me in slight shock before smirking back at me. “You little…”
Jake trailed off and began thrusting inside of me again, immediately hitting my G-spot with his quick, unexpected thrust. My back arched off the bed in response and I tightened my legs around his waist. Jake continued his quick thrusts instead of returning to his torturously slow pace from before. I moaned at the feeling of him inside me, feeling him fill me up totally and completely before receding and repeating the process. Jake leaned down and began an assault on my breasts once again, placing kisses on the mounds before taking the pert nipples into his mouth, sucking and nibbling as he pleased. I moaned in pleasure at the combination before I took his distraction to my advantage. I tightened my legs around his waist and wrapped my arms around his neck before trying to gain leverage and flip Jake onto his back, myself now on top. Jake remained inside me throughout my actions and I felt him twitch inside me at the new position, placing one hand on my thigh and the other on my waist as a smirk formed once again.
“What the hell is this, Darlin’? I said tonight was about you,” Jake reminded me.
“And I told you I couldn't wait to take you for a ride if I remember correctly,” I responded to him breathlessly. 
I adjusted my position above Jake, still not removing him from inside me as I did so. Jake bucked his hips up into me at my movements, causing him to hit my G-spot once again with his actions. I paused in my movement and briefly clenched, causing the two of us to moan in unison, Jake's hands tightening their grip slightly on my waist. I paused for a moment and stared down at the pleasure on Jake’s face before moving again. I flipped my hair over my shoulder and braced myself on his chest before leaning down to capture his lips with my own again. It was a chaste kiss that had Jake chasing me for more as I pulled away, fully sitting up with me and looking up at me with adoration. I placed another peck on his lips and smiled at him softly, running my fingers through his hair before remaining tangled in the hair on the back of his head. Jake smiled back at me, bringing his hand resting on my waist up to brush some of my hair back behind my ear before resting it on my cheek and pulling me into a kiss that quickly became all teeth and tongue. Jake trailed his hand from my cheek, down my jaw and neck, across my chest, stopping briefly to knead my breast in his hand before wrapping his arm around my waist instead of placing his hand where it was previously. I wrapped one of my arms around his neck and began moving my hips, bouncing up and down on him. He tightened his arm that was wrapped around my waist to bring me closer and brought his other hand up to grip my ass, helping me with my movements on top of him. We broke our kiss, our foreheads pressing together as our breaths intermingled with strangled moans escaping from the both of us.
“You’re taking me so well Darlin,” Jake groaned out, not stopping with his assistance in my movements.
I breathed out a moan in response, letting my forehead fall against Jake’s shoulder as he placed kisses along my shoulder. I continued bouncing on him, feeling myself slowly build up to release.
“I’m getting close,” I whimpered into his ear, letting my tongue dart out and lick along his neck, nipping lightly at his shoulder.
Jake nodded in response, bringing one of his hands down to rub at my clit. I moaned at the added stimulation, lifting myself from his shoulder and staring down at him. Jake looked up at me and brought his head forward to take my breast in his mouth, sucking on it and biting my nipple.
“Oh, fuck,” I breathed out, feeling the knot in my stomach grown tighter.
I brought my other hand back around Jake’s threaded my hands back in his hair and tugged causing him to groan against my chest. I could feel the pressure in my abdomen building and building before it finally burst, causing me to release the loudest and lewdest moan I’ve ever released in my life. Jake continued to assist me in riding out my high, flipping us back over, thrusting three more times before he came as well, continuing his thrusts to help us both through our orgasm. When we both were finished Jake allowed himself to collapse onto the bed beside me, the two of us breathing heavily from our activities.
“After seeing you ride me as well as you did just now, darlin’, I can’t wait to take you back home and see you ride an actual horse,” Jake panted out between breaths, causing me to burst into a fit of giggles, him following shortly after me.
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“So, I told you all about my family tonight. I think it’s only fair that you tell me all about yours,” Jake requested as the two of us rested in a hot bubble bath following our activities.
“Well, what do you want to know,” I asked him, taking another bite out of the chocolate cake that was supposed to be our dessert at the Hard Deck.
“Everything,” Jake replied, placing a kiss on the side of my head before accepting the bite of cake I offered him.
I sighed and nodded before turning so I could rest my back against his chest.
“My mom met my dad when she was 21, he was about 23. Grandpa Benjamin thought she was old enough to start attending Navy events with the family. She met my dad at the Navy ball, the first event she ever attended. He was there with my Pops and Nonna. Like I said before, Pops was in the Navy and Dad decided to follow in his footsteps, wanted to make him proud. From what I understand, he was obsessed with my mom the first moment he saw her. At least, that’s what Mav and Ice say,” I told him, leaning my head back to rest on his shoulder.
“They knew your parents,” Jake asked curiously.
“Mhm. So did Bradley’s,”  I told him, feeling tears build up in my eyes at the thought of my parents. “Anyways, he, uh, walked right up to my mom, not realizing she was the daughter of an admiral, and introduced himself, asked her to dance. Do you know why my parents named me Presley?”
“Let me guess, the first song they danced to was “Can’t Help Falling in Love”,” Jake asked smugly, wrapping his arms around me.
“No, actually, it was “Love Me Tender.” Good guess though,” I said sarcastically, giving his arm a pinch. “The two of them fell in love that night and couldn’t get enough of each other from that moment on. Then a few years later they got married and along came me. They had all the support they needed from mom’s family and all their friends. Dad’s parents weren’t a big fan though. They didn’t like how mom stuck up for dad and refused to let them treat him how they did.”
“Do you have much of a relationship with your dad's parents,” Jake asked curiously.
“No, they both passed when I was young, but that’s not the only reason. From the stories, Penny told me, Dad never got along with the two of them. Pops was pissed when he found out Dad was going to be an aviator instead of a seal. He got over it eventually, but it still was something he constantly poked at Dad for any chance he got. Dad had a falling out with them when he told them he was going to ask mom to marry him. When she got pregnant with me, Pops tried to reconcile with him for the sake of Nonna having contact with her grandchild, but it didn’t go over too well. Dad ended up telling him my last name would be Benjamin because his future child didn’t deserve to be connected to an asshole like him,” I murmured.
“How were things after that,” Jake asked curiously.
“From what I remember, Mom and Dad were great and happy. Deployments were always hard, but Mom tried as hard as she could to make it easier. We had this thing where every Friday after school she would come and pick me up, then we would stop and get takeout somewhere, then we would come home and watch “The Princess Bride.” Then, before bed Dad would normally call and read me a story,” I said fondly.
“‘The Princess Bride’? Really,” Jake asked me in disbelief.
“Hey, it was my favorite as a kid and it’s a classic. It’s still my comfort movie to this day,” I defended.
“I’ll have to keep that in mind, Buttercup,” Jake said with a smirk.
I groaned at his words. “I didn’t tell you so you could come up with a new nickname for me.”
“Well too late now,” Jake chuckled, placing a kiss behind my ear. “What happened with your parents?”
“Surprisingly, Dad didn’t die while deployed. He and mom were in a car accident. They went to a friend's wedding out of town, I was staying with Penny that night. They were driving back home and were t-boned by a drunk driver who ran a red light. Their car spun out and slammed into a pole,” I explained to him, fighting back the tears.
“I’m sorry,” Jake whispered to me.
“It’s okay. Sometimes I just sit here and wonder what life would be like now if they were still around. And I wonder if they’re proud of me, wherever they are,” I said quietly.
“I guarantee you they are,” Jake reassured me.
I just hummed in response, leaning my head on his chest and letting my eyes close. Jake noticing this, decided to call it a night.
“Come on, Princess. Let’s get you to bed,” Jake whispered to me, helping me lean up and climbing out of the tub with me, drying me off and getting me into bed.
As I was drifting off to sleep I noticed that for the first time in a long time, I didn’t have a problem with being called “Princess.”
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The moonlight streamed through the windows and cast a glow on the couple lying with each other in bed. Presley sucked in a deep breath before turning over. Just as the clock struck midnight she shot up in bed with wide eyes.
“This ain't for the best, my reputation's never been worse so you must like me for me,” she muttered to herself in deep thought before hopping out of bed.
She leaned down and grabbed Jake's shirt from the floor, pulling it on and buttoning it, grabbing her underwear and slipping them on as well before rushing out of the room. She ran down the hall and downstairs, running through the halls downstairs humming the tune to herself over and over again until she reached her music room. She continued humming as she rushed over to the closet and yanked the door open, pulling boxes out and throwing everything in them out onto the floor. Digging through a few until she found what she was looking for, her notebook. She dug in the box until she found a pen then moved to the piano, writing down everything that was running through her mind.
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Jake woke up alone in bed. He furrowed his brows in his sleep and rolled over, reaching out for Presley. His eyes shot open when he noticed her side of the bed was cold. He leaned up and looked over, seeing her missing. He looked around the room and saw no sign of the girl still being present. He climbed out of bed and grabbed his underwear off the floor, pulling them on before walking out into the hallway. He stuck his head out and looked down the hall.
“Pres,” he called out.
When he received no answer back he walked down the hall and looked inside each room until he reached the top of the stairs. He stood at the top and looked down, calling out for Presley again. He strained to listen when he heard something and walked down the stairs, the noise getting louder as he went. He followed the noise through the living room and grinned when he realized it was the piano. He followed the sound to the music room and peeked in, seeing his girlfriend leaning over the piano writing quick notes before staring at them in thought and playing the piano again. He leaned against the doorway as he witnessed her process, seeing her mark words out before sighing in frustration and rewriting them.
“What's up, Buttercup,” Jake called out to her, watching her jump slightly before looking back at him.
“I'm sorry if I woke you,” she told him softly before going back to her notebook.
“You didn't,” he reassured her, moving into the room and standing behind her.
“I just had to get this written down before I forgot it all,” she explained to him, looking over the words she had written down.
“What are you writing,” he asked her curiously, leaning down to rest his head on her shoulder and placing a few kisses against her neck.
“My newest lightning strike of inspiration,” she said simply, placing her hands over the keys before playing. “Dive bar on the East Side, where you at? Phone lights up my nightstand in the black. Come here, you can meet me in the back. Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you. Oh damn, never seen that color green. Just think of the fun things we could do. This ain’t for the best. My reputation’s never been worse, so you must like me for me. We can’t make any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink. Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you’re in my head? ‘Cause I know that it’s delicate. Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet? ‘Cause I know that it’s delicate.”
She stopped playing and Jake lifted his head from her shoulder, kissing the side of her head before whispering in her ear. “Good to know that I’m your muse.”
Presley couldn’t help but smile and blush at his words, shaking her head at him. “You’re more than that.”
“Am I? I think you’re just using me for inspiration now,”  He joked with her, kissing her neck. Presley moved her head to the side to give Jake more space. He brushed her hair out of the way and nipped and sucked at her neck as she released small moans at his actions. “Come back to bed, I’ll give you some more inspiration.”
Presley could feel his smirk against the skin of her neck, and she was tempted to say yes, but she couldn’t go back to bed yet. She shook her head and shrugged Jake off. “I can’t. I have to finish this. I’m almost done. I just have one more verse.”
Jake released himself from her neck and furrowed his brows as he pouted at his girlfriend. She ignored him as she focused back on her notebook. Jake finally took the time to look at her notebook and see all of the notes and work.
“Presley,” Jake said, gaining the girl's attention with a ‘hm?’ in response. “Exactly how long have you been up working on this,” He questioned in a tone of suspicion.
Presley released a sigh of frustration at his question. “Not that long. I’ve only been up for” She cut herself off when she looked up at the clock in the music room, seeing the hour hand on 3. “3 hours…,” She trailed off sheepishly.
“3 hours,” Jake exclaimed in shock.
“I guess I lost track of time,” She said sheepishly, turning to look at her boyfriend and finally taking the time to notice his messy hair and boxer briefs.
Jake shook his head at her before sighing. “Come on, you’re going back to bed.”
He reached to grab her but she wiggled out of his grip and moved to climb on top of the piano, knocking her notebook and pen to the ground and causing an unpleasing noise from stepping on the keys. Jake grabbed her ankle and pulled her closer to him, kicking the cover of the keys and making it snap shut.
“No, I don’t want to go to bed,” She said childishly, trying to kick Jake’s grip from her ankle.
“It’s either you come to bed or I join you on top of the piano,” He said childishly, not letting go of her ankle.
Presley stopped moving and turned over onto her back, slowly leaning up onto her elbows to look down at the blonde aviator.
“That doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea,” She said seductively to him.
Jake, hearing her tone of voice and seeing where she was going smirked at her. “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Princess.”
Presley only smirked, sitting up on top of the piano and staring down at Jake seductively as she reached up to her chest and began to slowly unbutton Jake’s dress shirt she was still wearing. Jake groaned at the newly exposed skin, watching her continue down until the shirt was sitting open, exposing her chest but still hiding her breasts and showing off the black lace underwear she had placed back on.
“Oh, the things you do to me, Darlin’,” He groaned out to her before moving directly in front of her, gripping the black lace underwear in both of his hands and tugging them down her legs in one quick movement, throwing them over his shoulder before positioning himself in front of her. He then grabbed both of her legs and threw them over his shoulders before absolutely devouring her like a starved man on top of the piano.
“Oh, fuck, Jake,” She immediately moaned out, reaching down to grip his hair in her hand.
Presley allowed herself to sink back on the piano, laying across the top of it and sliding as Jake pulled her closer to the edge for better access. She tightened her grip on his hair as he ran his tongue through her folds before focusing his attention on her clit, sucking the bud into his mouth before nipping at it with his teeth. Presley brought her other hand up to her chest and moved Jake’s shirt from where it was covering her breasts. She then gripped one of her heaving breasts in her hand and began kneading the flesh, occasionally tweaking her sensitive nipples. Jake looked up at her from where he was devouring her to take in the sight before him. He felt himself grow hard as she assisted in working herself to the edge, groaning at the sight. Jake focused back on his task, letting his tongue run down her folds before fucking her hole with his tongue.
“Oh, god, keep going,” Presley moaned, releasing her nipple to run her hand down her body.
She let her fingers run down to begin stroking her clit as Jake continued his work, but the aviator was quick to slap her hand away and move one of his own in her place, rubbing his thumb over her clit in figure 8’s as he continued tongue fucking her.
“Oh, fuck, Jake, I’m close,” She whimpered out to him.
“Give me all you got, Princess,” He demanded before diving back in.
Presley’s breathing increased as she felt the knot in her stomach grow tighter and tighter before it released, a moan of Jake’s name falling from her lips. Jake continued, working Presley through her orgasm and eagerly lapping up all of her juices. She continued breathing heavily as she came down from her high, Jake leaned up from his position, wiping his mouth and laying her legs back down. He began kissing her thighs, leading up to her hips, placing kisses there before gripping them in his hands, pulling her towards him and off the piano, kissing his way up her abdomen, and across her chest. Paid special attention to her breasts, leaving open-mouthed kisses on her nipples, sucking and nipping them between his teeth before releasing them, traveling back up her chest and her neck before placing another kiss on her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss and moaning as she tasted herself on his tongue. Jake broke the kiss, placing a peck on her lips, nose, and cheeks before stopping and placing one on her forehead.
“Come on, Princess. Let’s go to bed,” He whispered to her.
“Okay,” She whispered back eyes already falling shut. “What about you though,” She brought up, reaching forward to the waistband of his underwear when she noticed the prominent bulge.
“Don’t worry about me Buttercup. You’re more important,” He reassured her, adjusting his shirt to cover her once again before picking her up bridal style and carrying her back upstairs to bed.
Taglist: @buckysteveloki-me@hookslove1592 @smoothdogsgirl @mrsevans90
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bri-cheeses · 6 months ago
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Barty’s name. Woah. I just discovered something.
So, his full first name is Bartemius, obviously. You know where Joanne probably got that name? The Bible. NOW HOLD ON, don’t leave. This isn’t about to get religious, I’m just saying that this is how I found out about it.
Anyways, I’m fairly certain JKR took that name from a blind beggar named “Bartimaeus.” “Bar” means son in Hebrew, and so this name means “Son of Timaeus.” Timaeus means honorable in Greek, which is what the New Testament was written in. And now on to the actual meaning of Bartimaeus—I know you’re probably think, “oh, it means ‘son of the honorable’.” BUT IT DOESN’T.
Well, actually, it does, if you’re assuming that the “Timaeus” part came from a Greek word. But a lot of people say that Timaeus actually comes from another Hebrew word, which pretty much translates to “unclean” or “impure.” So Bartimaeus also means “son of the unclean.”
Now what I think is interesting about this is that it shows the duality of Barty Crouch Senior, who is seen as this really important person who’s honorable and extremely respected by pretty much the entirety of the wizarding world. But to anyone who sees his true colors, he’s horrible and a dirty/impure person (imperious curse on Barty Jr, the way he treated Winky, etc.).
So I just think it’s interesting that Barty’s name is a clue to what his father is actually like.
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xlovleysunnyx · 8 days ago
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Why is nobody talking about Riley? (Ik I have posted a lot about ATA lately)
Like imagine being in they’re position, your aunt gives you her house and sends you a letter that you might never see her again and she might be dead, she tells you to find some tapes, oh sounds normal right? Turns out there cursed but she didn’t get the time to tell you because she’s in a hurry for some reason and mentions that once you start you can’t turn back, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on and your just doing what your aunt says because you love her and y’know she’s your aunt, so then once you start watching the tapes, you get attacked/jump scared multiple times by an unknown monster and by a creepy 5-year old girl who seems like she’s possessed, then at the end when Amanda tells you her secret you get jump scared so hard you fly backwards and toss a brick at the tv, then after a random stranger breaks in your aunts house, the Stranger tells you to follow them and you do cause you honestly don’t gaf anymore, then this stranger takes you to your Aunt’s library to find EVEN MORE CURSED TAPES (and even worse you get jump scared by that same monster from your aunts house TWICE) at the end of going through all that P A I N of solving the puzzles (and collecting all the secret tapes) you come across a Videotape which is OH WHAT DO Y’KNOW its your aunt dying in a car accident, and to make your situation worse your aunt tells you to not watch the tapes (AFTER YOU’VE FREAKING WATCHED MOST OF THEM) and that was basically her last dying wish, then the stranger FINALLY reveals who they are and it turns out that they’re the sister of they’re brother that went missing in all of this chaos, and she tells you that she’s been basically using you to find they’re missing brother (In Riley’s eyes not trying to antagonize her btw) then at the last minute you hear a monster in the distance and Joanne tells you to run and that she will be right behind you, and freaking dies in the process while you stand there and watch horrifically as she gets her bones broken and flesh torn into pieces.
And at the end of the day Riley is probably going to have to save everyone BY HERSELF BTW, like no one is talking about the TRAUMA they’re experiencing
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bteezxyewriter12 · 7 months ago
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Annoyed Series
Taehyung
Pairing- Tae x Named Reader
Word count- 1.5k
Includes- Everything is consensual, established relationship, paint is involved, missionary, cock riding, slight dirty talk, tummy bulge, fluff
Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa
@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @amyz78 @marvelfamily3000
Gif Credit- jung-koook
Masterlists- check out for more fics
📝Annoyed Series Masterlist
📝Masterlists
📝BTS Masterlist
📝Tae Masterlist
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I stare at the paint on the floor of my art room trying not to lose it
My girlfriend and I had a bad argument, she cursed me out and came into the art room I have in our house, the sound of smashing and things falling coming from the room
I ran in as soon as I heard the noises and found her dumping my paint on the floor
My expensive paint
"Joanne, what the fuck?", I shout
She glares at me as she overturns a bottle of blue paint, it mixing with the red, green and yellow already on the floor
"I'm being the bitch you think I am!", she shouts, throwing the bottle on the floor, picking up the orange paint
"I didn't mean that!", I exclaim, rushing towards her to stop her
"You called me a bitch! Now you brought the bitch out", she snarls, taking the top of the orange paint off and flinging the bottle towards me
Orange paint flies at me, hitting my chest, it splattering on my shirt, neck and face
I glare at her as she dumps the rest of it on the floor, then tossing the bottle
When she reaches for the next paint bottle, I move grabbing her hands in mine
"Stop it!", I shout, "This stuff is expensive!"
She scoffs, "It's not like you can't afford it! Isn't that what you're complaining about? That I don't make the same as you and I'm a moocher."
Yes I said that but I was pissed, I didn't mean it
Of course she doesn't make more than me, I'm an idol
I was just frustrated with work and she asked to borrow money until her next paycheck when she'd pay me back and I just flipped
I said mean shit, called her a leech and when she yelled back at me calling me an asshole, I called her a bitch
It's all my fault, I shouldn't have lost my temper, she always pays me back even through I tell her she doesn't have to
But I always find the money in my wallet and she refuses to take it back
I admit the fight was all me
But right now, I'm pissed off again because she's taking it to the extreme
She pulls her hands from mine and moves to go around me
I move in front of her, stopping her
"Fuck off!", she shouts
"Stop it", I repeat
"No"
"God, now you're really being a fucking bitch!"
She gives me a death glower, snapping, "You're a fucking asshole!"
I can feel the anger radiating off of both of us
It's like I can touch it
And I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, but I grab her arms, pull her against me and crash my lips to hers
She squeals, kissing me back, her arms around my neck, my tongue playing with hers
She bites my lip hard and I yell, pulling away as pain fills my mouth
"Seriously?"
"You're messing up my shirt!", she snaps
I look down, seeing the orange transfer from my shirt to hers
That's why she bit me?
I growl pulling her shirt up and off, followed by her bra
"Then I guess you'll have to be fucking naked so I won't mess up your precious clothes"
She scowls but lets me take her pants and panties off, then she undresses me
Pulling her to me again, I kiss her and lift her up, her legs wrapping around my waist
But instead of leaning her against a wall, I kneel down and lay her on her back on the floor
Right in the paint
"Taehyung!", she yells, her hands sliding in the paint, "Its cold!"
"Deal with it", I snarl, aligning my cock to her already soaked hole, "You threw it on the floor, you don't want it ruining your shirt, so it'll just have to get on your skin"
Snapping my hips hard, I bury inside her tight throbbing pussy in one shot, my head smashing her spot, her body arching
I press her tummy down, pushing her right back into the paint
"Stay down", I growl
Leaning over her, I slam my hands on either side of her head, the cold paint squishing between my fingers
I pull my hips back, dragging my cock out of her pussy so pleasurably
"Fuck Tae!", she cries, her hands moving around my body, her palms against my back
I thrust into her over and over, listening to the squelching sounds of her pussy taking my length
"God you feel so good", I groan, bliss running through me, "Such a good girl, taking my cock"
She groans, her hands moving on my back slowly, her hands sticking to my skin because of the paint
"Good for a moocher?", she snaps
Grabbing her chin, I make her look at me, her face now smeared in blue paint, "I didn't mean that and you know it"
She jerks her head out of my hand, narrowing her eyes
Her hands move to my sides and she rolls us over, as she gets on top of me, my cock still buried inside her, my back hitting the paint
She's right, it's fucking cold
She moves her hand on either side of my head, swishing them in the paint
Then she sits up, her hands on my chest, red and yellow paint on my skin
She bounces on my cock once, snapping, "Are you sure you didn't mean it?"
Another bounce
"Maybe I should pay you in sex too since I make "fucking pennies""
She starts riding me hard, the pleasure crashing into my body
I scoff through the bliss, "Don't be stupid. I was mad and I said something dumb and untrue. Stop taking it literally"
"People say true things when they're pissed", she growls, bouncing up and down my cock, her pussy opening just enough to let me slide through
Each bounce down, she grinds on my cock, making my head rub her spot, her pussy clenching hard each time
Moving my hands from the paint, I grip her thighs, green and red paint along her skin
And it's such a turn on
I slide my hands up her body, leaving streaks of color along her sides
Dipping my hands back in the paint, I grab her boobs, groping them, leaving them in a mess of paint
I pinch and rub her nipples, her pussy strangling my cock, her moans so loud as she rides me even harder
"Fuck baby, you're so fucking pretty riding me desperately, paint all over your pretty body", I murmur
I move my eyes down, watching her cunt swallow my cock, her tiny hole spreading so wide, straining around my base
"Fuck", I groan watching her completely cream my cock, her tummy bulging every time she takes me in
I soak my hand in paint, then lay my palm against her tummy, feeling it pop with every bounce
She leans back, her hand on my legs, her head tilting back as keeps moving, taking me deeply
Her other hand moves on top of mine, pressing against mine
"Fff...fuck", she groans, her legs shaking as drenches my cock
"Fuck baby, you're doing such a good job painting my cock with your cream", I groan, "You're decorating my cock so prettily"
"Mmmm Tae", she whimpers, sweat pouring down her body, making runny streaking in the paint covering her
Her pussy gets so tight and she slams down, coming hard
"Taehyung!", she screams, her body shaking
I grip her hips, moving her up and down, chasing my own orgasm as ecstasy slams into me from hers
It just takes a few moves and I hold her down on me, coming in her pussy
"Joanne! Fuck baby!", I cry, the pleasure emptying my head
Her cunt milks my cock so good, sucking my cock dry
When I come out of the fog, I feel her hands running up and down my chest and stomach
"You're so hot Tae", she says softly, "The paint looks really good on you"
"I can say the same about you", I tell her
She smiles softly, "I'm sorry about the paint baby. I'll pay for new ones"
I sit up, shaking my head, my arms around her, "No baby. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken my stress out on you. You don't have to pay for anything ok?"
"No, I'm gonna buy you new paint"
"Please baby", I tell her, "Don't worry about it. Please. This fight was my fault, I shouldn't have said those things to you"
"It's ok", she says softly
"No it's not", I tell her, "I want you to know everything I said during the argument was not true ok? I know you're not a leech, you're not a bitch. I don't think of you like that. I love you"
I feel like such an ass, a terrible boyfriend
She's amazing, she loves me so much, does everything for me, I should never treat her that way
I'm going to make sure it never happens again
"I love you Tae. It's ok baby"
I lean forward, softly kissing her lips
"Wanna take a shower?", I ask
"Shouldn't we clean the floor first?"
I shrug, "We can do it later. It's just paint"
"Ok", she smiles
I kiss her again, then stand up, holding her and making my way to our shower
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serve-corps · 5 months ago
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Joanne Harcourt x fem reader
Joanne helps you with your English homework and let's you know, he knows you're actually a girl, turns out he doesn't care about gender!🤷🏼‍♀️
also, here is an ASMR of Joanne that I made that this story is based on
youtube
Footsteps were heard along the cement path as the Scarlet Fox House dormitory for the third year’s door opened. The footsteps continued as the door shut behind it.
A casual hello and greeting were exchanged between the normal students and a blonde sweetheart, all soft smiles and lovey-dovey eyes directed at the very well-known prefect's drudge.
He really was Cole's replacement; he was just as pretty if not far more. However, he was dependable and kind, caring and sweet, he would never harm a soul. Must have gotten that gentle nature from his two older sisters I suppose.
Despite being a kind soul, he was also independent. Him going to Weston collage often reminded you of a baby bird leaving the nest for the first time, spreading its wings at Weston.
The blonde made his way through the years of said collage with only a few hiccups, but he was loved no less, he was friendly with all, well, minus Cole.
As he opens the doors to his room, entering with a soft click behind him, the doors shut. He dragged his feet to his bed which was relatively comfortable. It was far better than what he had as a first year. Damn, he can feel his back aching just thinking about it. It must have been a stone slab covered by a sheet; it was rock solid!
He sat down with an umf as he sighed, feeling the soft texture. for the next few seconds, he was cursing out the education system for their ways of punishment as he gained a Y for not being able to stop Kadar from infiltrating Sapphire Owl House's dormitory.
his thoughts came to a halt as something crossed his mind. something that had been bothering him for a while. He was worried. Worried about one of his dorm roommates.
He built quite the relationship with them as they always tried to help him in any way they could, whether it be with his drudge duties even though he tried to refuse, you always did small things for him that really helped him out.
'I'm worried...I haven't seen them recently...' He thought to himself, Joanne sat on his bed wondering if you were okay, he knew that the year group had an English examination due soon, he wasn't exactly sure how soon but he knew it was coming up. All that could be said was that nearly have the year group was stressed like the dickens.
He specifically recalled how you had a large pile of work on your desk, also remembering how you had missed lunchtime to continue with your work. You would get ill at this rate! he was paranoid about your health mentally and physically.
you've been awfully quiet around school, intentionally or not he still felt as though you were ostracizing yourself from not only the entirety of the school but him as well. he missed you in all fairness.
he knew if he said anything to one of the boys in the school, he would become an outcast again, he couldn't be known for having romantic feelings for another boy let alone one of his closest friends.
while he was off in his own world; thinking of how to comfort you, the door opened, revealing you who was dressed in the Weston college uniform, your hair kept up in a wig but the same colour as your natural hair (if you had parts dyed include them too), your face was very feminine but nobody here could talk, Cole had the face of a teenage girl while Harcourt himself looked like he came out of a freshly printed magazine cover for women to dress like men. you were never judged for that.
you walked in through the doors and closed them behind you, hearing the same click from before but your head snapped to the blonde you treasured ever so much as he called out to you.
"O-Oh! hi! I was just thinking about you!" he said with a soft smile that made your heart melt, you turned your head away to hide your face as you were struggling to compose yourself at his innocence. Joanne panicked at your negligence, feigning that you were upset by what he said,
"All good things! All good things! don't worry!" he said urgently as you turned back to face him, he felt a bit more at ease as you were no longer annoyed, he presumed at least.
Joanne went on to voice his thoughts to you as you once again tried to bury your own grave in work. god, you would be suffocating in it if it weren't for the fact you had draws to put them in instead.
"I've just been a bit...worried..." he turned his head to the side and scratched his cheek as he was bashful for admitting it.
"you've been almost distant with everyone! including me..." he sounded like a kicked puppy as he looked down.
you looked up from your work and softly gazed at the nervous boy as he was showing genuine concern for you.
"I'm sorry Harcourt- I- well it's just- *sigh* I don't really have the time physically and metaphorically..." you responded, your voice hoarse as you hadn't been talking much today. ironic because it was the English-speaking examination that was stressing you out the most.
He looked at you with heartfelt eyes as he heard your voice, this *was* damaging you physically. you needed help. this time, he wanted to help you.
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong? I'm willing to help you in any way I can! I just want to be of use to you (last name)….I really...don't like seeing you like this...." his voice was as gentle as a breeze as he offered to be your short-term therapist for the next few minutes.
you slammed the quill against the desk, breaking the feather as you hit the wooden table that you used quite often with your fist. the shock rattled through your hand, and it stung a little bit. you shook your hand as you looked at the desk in anger, almost blaming it.
sighing, you look at the kind soul who offered you help and explained,
"it's Master Goyal; the English teacher. he's ruthless with deadlines however he; pardon my language, can’t teach jack-shit! I've been stuck writing this damn speech that's worth a large part of my final grade and he won't give me any advice on how to word it! Christ all mighty! all I've done is be a good student and he hasn't helped at all! no! no! scratch that! he's set me mountains of homework!" you went on a rant about the teacher you loath. honestly? that's so fucking relatable.
"you see all this Joanne?! this mountain of damn paper?! you'd think that's all of the work I'd do in a year, right?! HA FUCK NO! he set it as god damn homework!!!" you shouted. you're really goddamn lucky he isn't a housemaster otherwise you'd be so fucked.
"that teacher is my goddamn thirteenth reason..." you mumbled to yourself and Joanne was silent throughout the whole rant, only for you to get an adorable little giggle in return, it stole your heart you had to admit.
"You just need some help with the homework? that's not an issue at all! I can help you with that!" he said with a snicker in his voice, but it died down to a sincere offer,
"I'm willing to help you in any way you need..."
you felt like a weight had been taken off of your shoulders as a smile made its way onto your face, staring at your savoir from this god-forsaken pit of paper.
the boy's attitude lightened up seeing you have a happier face, "I thought you seemed a bit depressed, thank god it was just the homework!"
he said with a gentle chuckle as you listed off a few of the other homework from other teachers who took pity on you, so they gave you less.
you asked him wearily if he was really sure if he wanted to give you a hand and his response was a giggle and a few kicks of his legs at the end of the bed.
"of course! justttt know that biology isn't my strongest subject...Hehe, so you might have to ask Kadar about that one...!"
you yourself chuckled at this as you know soma want the best person to go to about school work anyways, but you gave your dear old friend a little shock.
"Surprisingly, I'm very well-read in biology, whether it be anatomy, cells, or photosynthesis, I'm like a jack of all trades in that category!"
the boy sighed in relief, "Oh thank goodness, personally I excel in chemistry so I'll be able to help you in that aspect"
after that conversation with Joanne, he clapped his hands together and stood up, "Right! let me help you with this English speech!"
you sighed as you ruffled through some papers, muttering curses at Master Goyal once more only to result in the papers being mixed in with the rest of the homework. damn.
about two minutes later, you arrived victorious as you pulled out your speech, handing it to the blonde who was waiting patiently, secretly finding your struggle amusing as you looked like you wanted to throw hands with sheets of paper, damn his feelings were wrong.
he started reading over your speech, noticing your mannerisms and techniques. you were very well versed in the writing sector, you did ace your English literature after all, but the confidence portrayed through your words were appalling, he softened the commentary as much as he could.
"(your fake name), I think...you uhm... you have the right phrasing and techniques but you're lacking in the ahem...confidence department.
the listeners won't be engaged unless you sound like you’re the only right person, you need to have more confidence- uh"
you had your hand covering your mouth, finding it harder and harder to shut up your giggling the longer he spoke, snorts leaving your shanking form. he sighed in exasperation at this.
"Can you stop laughing? please? it's not that funny..." he said trying to be serious, however, failing miserably. he himself cracked a smile that he tried to shoo away because of your adorable laughter.
"but it is! do you remember what you were like before you became a drudge? you were as quiet as a mouse!" your snorts turned into full-on cackling as Joanne lost his serious act unintentionally.
"yes, yes I know, how ironic. Joanne Harcourt telling you to be more confidant...sooo funny..." his voice was shaky from trying not to laugh, only to break a little bit when you slapped your knee and wheezed out, "but it is though-"
"Okay! but I'm being serious! this could help you in the long run (Y/f/n)!"
your laughing at him continued as he Shakely explained the importance of confidence that you needed in your speech, you were taking the advice though, almost to heart as he dished out tips and tricks.
he ended up finishing his little lecture about voice and tone for you to still be softly giggling at him.
he let out a short sigh and crossed his arms, leaning back from you with a pouty face, "You're so mean!" but that charade ended rather quickly as you both grabbed hold of the other and both started laughing, these were moments you treasured with this boy.
he might not know you were a girl but you were still in love with him.
you both calmed down and you finished quite a large sum of the work together, at the least 75% of it was done, but time flew as you did the work together, it didn't even feel like work when you were with Joanne. I suppose that is a good thing, right?
suddenly, Joanne spoke up. " how about this, we go meet up with Prince Soma tomorrow and study some more English and chemistry because let's face it, if it was a chance of life or death with you answering a chemistry question? we're all as good as dead." both of you chuckled at this.
Joanne perked up as he came to a realization, "Wait, what's the time? you have a watch, don't you?"
you looked at your wrist and your eyes widened.
"Holy shit, it's almost 11 o'clock at night!" you whisper yelled.
"it's nearly 11?! crap! we have to get to bed now! I don't want a Y!"
several days had passed and now it was the night before your English-speaking exam, you felt confident you were going to rock this shit because you had your crush's help throughout it all.
you tossed and turned in your bed, only to hear Joanne softly whisper to you "Are you awake (Y/f/n)?"
the housemaster put us to bed about an hour ago, the routinely 5-minute checkups are now over as the housemaster has gone to bed. everyone in the room was asleep, apparently apart from you and Joanne.
"yeah, I am. what's up blondie?" you whispered back to him, turning to face him as he was led down in his bed which was next to yours.
"It’s just- I'm worried for you is all...do you think you'll be okay tomorrow, I did my best to help you..."
you sighed as it seemed Joanne Harcourt was more nervous about your exam than you were, honestly? that sounds just like the boy you fell in love with.
you dragged your feet over the side of the bed, heading straight for his as he was laying there shocked at what you were doing.
"w-wait...what are you? -"
you climbed into his bed as he led there still as a rock, trying to grasp the situation. you rested next to him, hoping to not only calm his nerves but to calm any of yours that could have been flying around out there somewhere for your exam.
"Why are you in my bed?... What on earth are you doing in my bed?..?" the boy whispered with a stutter. a blush painting his cheeks a light pink as his innocence overtook him.
despite his embarrassment, he pulled through, "You know I'm a prefects drudge right? it- it's improper for me to do this I-"
you hushed him and replied to the silent question why do you want this?
"I need the comfort, I don't want to burst into a panic attack as soon as the exam starts, right?" you say with an extremely calm voice, not a single hint of paranoia lacing it.
"This doesn't permit you to- if word got out then-"
"Then be quiet." you hushed him as he would wake the other three in the room.
he took a deep breath and accepted the inevitable. "t-this is fine..."
"But why me? you have a friend in Scarlet Fox House who'd be more than happy to do this, so why me- uh!"
you shut him up by wrapping your arms around his waist, pulling him into your chest. this leads to him being a blushing mess.
"p-please be considerate of the fact I know your confidential secret...that..." he gulped and looked down, not at your tits, just down.
"that you're not a male..."
your breathing stopped for a second. your thoughts going a million miles an hour as now the panic had kicked in, but only one thought stood out from the rest. 'will be okay with dating me now?'.
he chuckled at your shocked face as he debunked your attempts to hide it. "you thought you were slick, didn't you? it was obvious to me after a while...you don't bathe with us but you're always hygienic so you must do so separately...your body stature is very feminine.
you cut him off by nuzzling his chest, that really was an effective way to shut him up. "do I really provide that much comfort?.." he said in a hushed voice.
all you did was nod silently.
he sighed, "Fine... I'll sleep with you. just for tonight! I don't want you getting the wrong idea." he scolded in a motherly tone. you know damn well you'll be doing this from now on every night.
the looked down at your face as he looked into your eyes. your body reacted instinctively as you felt his breath against your face. you strained upwards, "What are you-! *gasp*" You cut him off quickly with a short peck to the lips, they felt so soft, you wanted another taste...but no, you need to make sure it's okay with him first.
red crawled up Joanne's neck all the way to the tips of his ears as he covered his mouth with the back of his hand, he was a stuttery mess.
he quietly cleared his throat to regain himself. As you stared at him lovingly, it made him all the more flustered.
"y-you could have at least told me your real name first-"
you stroked his cheek softly as you took a deep breath,
"O-Oh, I wasn't expecting you to actually-"
"(y/n)."
there was silence for a moment as if he was soaking in the same to match the face. his eyes now reflected your loving gaze.
"that's such a beautiful name. It suits you well..." he chuckled softly.
"Just make sure you ask next time you do that... I'd be more than happy to let you..."
both of your faces were slowly leaning closer, your eyes asking the question that you so desperately wanted to ask for you,
"you can do it as often as you like...mmf-!" his eyes widened once more but this time they shut to savor the moment, he tasted like honey and scones, but tea time was over five hours ago...must be his natural taste...
as you both pulled away this time, the kiss was dragged out longer, but both of your eyes slowly opened. you both appeared to have the air stolen from your lungs. you felt your heart melt as he said,
"you're cute, even dressed as a boy, you know that?" he rested his forehead against yours as you hummed in contentment, a small smile gracing your lips as you now felt tired and relieved.
"let's keep this between us, okay? I don't think Redmond should know about this...
I think it would be nice to make this a normal thing, like our own little homework club!" he said excitedly only for you to softly shush him and stroke your thumb against his cheek.
"two members only, I wonder why...." he said gently as your eyes fluttered shut, yet you still moved your head to kiss him once more, a short kiss that said shut up in a nice way. this led to a giggle from him.
"Maybe that's why..."
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Note
Mothers best friend with Schemmenti I beg you!!!
Watch me
Pairing: Mbf! Melissa Schemmenti x Fem!Reader
Warning: homophobic mum, tattoos, cursing, bitch mum, hot Melissa, tramp stamps, arguing, let me know if I’ve left anything out
Word count: 887
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You and Melissa walked hand in hand downtown as you glanced at the shops you passed. A tattoo shop that was still lit up caught your attention, halting suddenly Melissa looked at you confused before you pointed.
"You want a tattoo?" She asked, they had always enticed you but you had always been too scared to get one in case you had regretted it. You nodded biting your bottom lip with a toothy grin "You wouldn't dare" she laughed "Too much of a good girl, what would your mommy say?" She teased.
She had a point, you lived to please your mother and her judgmental ways almost begging her to love you. Melissa had been her best friend since you had turned eighteen, she had even been invited to the party.
You squinted your eyes a bit before she added "What would you even get Tesoro?" Melissa added softly. "That exactly!" You smiled with a small giddy gasp "What?" She knitted her brows together confused "Tesoro".
"Naughty girl" she laughed leaning into you "getting the nickname that only I call you" brushing her nose under your ear.
That night you had saved their number on your phone and called once Melissa had left your apartment.
The following Wednesday you went in and got not only one but two tattoos both with meaning you knew you wouldn't regret.
Saturday was the next time you had seen the redhead at your family dinner "Tesoro, can you be a dear and please get me another beer?" She pouted. "Don't you dare!" Your Aunt Tony laughed "You told me to piss off and get my own!" She gasped.
"Fine. I'll get you one too" you chuckled with a little shake of your head as you wandered off into the kitchen. Once you had left your mother turned to the woman, wine in hand as she asked "Why do you call her Tesoro?".
Melissa only shrugged "Tesoro means treasure so it only makes sense cause she's golden, Y'know that" she spoke with an airy voice. "She's almost twenty-five and still isn't married let alone dating. I was married to her father and already had her by her age. There ain't nothing golden about that girl".
The redhead licked her teeth trying to tone down some of her arising rage "It was different back then Joanne, you and I both know it". Your mother only scoffed before ranting on about how kids these days were too sensitive "Boys are fawning over her at the church but she just brushes them off".
Joanne leant in "I'm scared she might be one of those lesbians" She nodded her head as if it was a disgrace. "And I'm not having my only daughter- my only child being one of them" and that was enough for Aunt Tony to excuse herself to go see what's taking you so long.
"Tesoro?" She teased running her fingers along the bottom of your back where your shirt had risen. Quickly you snapped up from the bottom of the fridge "Is that what the kids are doing these days? Getting tramp stamps of names given by their parent's best friends?" Tony chuckled.
"Maybe" you spoke holding your head high "Don't worry, I got one for your Aunt Jess too. It's normal that people to get tattoos for their partners, I don't judge baby" the woman placed a gentle hand on your upper arm.
Your mother had always believed the two had just been "good friends" Tony was your dad's sister. Jess had been a nurse in the nineties when she meet your Aunt after an ugly bar fight.
"There's another tattoo, Mel hasn't seen them yet- she doesn't know that I got it done" you mumbled. You can hear the yells of both unsupervised women before Melissa storms into the kitchen gripping your wrist and dragging you out of the house.
Stopping at the front door she turned back around "And if you ever do try that, and I mean ever. You best believe I'll shove my foot so far up your bitchy prestigious ass that you'll be tasting the leather of my heeled boots for months. Y/n is a grown fucking woman who I'm sure is capable of picking her own choice of lover, not some boy just learning about boobs!"
You had zoned out after that, focusing on Melissa's face as she defended you- how hot she looked doing it. The heat pooled in the pit of your stomach as your breathing got heavy "I think you should get going" Tony nodded to the door.
Melissa huffed before taking her leave, grip still tight on your wrist as she led you to the car. "God that was hot" you breathed out as she slammed your front door, pushing her against it as she pulled your shirt off.
Melissa stilled bringing her hand up softly to caress the area above your left breast, two lipstick mark tattoos. More specifically they were Melissa's lipstick marks that she had left you with that morning before she rushed to work. "Forever and always" she mumbles reading the line underneath leaving goosebumps in her wake.
"Wait till you see the treasure in the back" you winked turning to walk to your bedroom, Melissa's breath hitched "You naughty girl" she smirked before running after you.
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darkandstormydolls · 19 days ago
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I finished another costume project!
And let me tell you. There was a curse on this or something. First I had trouble getting the fabric. I ordered a 25 yard bolt of white cotton, considering that I’m always using it for petticoats and stuff, and would need a lot for this dress, only to get an email from the fabric shop saying “so, we know you wanted 25 yards, we have like ten and a lot of it is in 1 or 2 yard cuts”
I just wanted to get working, so I told them to send what they have and send me the rest when they restock. Thankfully, I managed to cut everything out on what they sent me (really thankfully because this was several months ago and I still haven’t gotten the rest. I was told “probably some time in December”)
Then the buttons I wanted were out of stock. Then the replacement buttons came and were a lot more of a copper color than they looked in the pictures. Then I found three good buttons at Joann’s, but only three, so I had to order the rest online.
There wasn’t enough stock of the lace trim I wanted for the whole dress, although that turned out to be a blessing in disguise because then I could mix a wider lace in
And yet, I overcame all of these curses, to create:
Victorian Gabriel!
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So, the story behind this dress is that I went to a class at a costume event about reinterpreting and putting your own spin on costumes, and one of the things they mentioned was historical cosplays. I was immediately inspired, thinking of a character from a piece of media I had never interacted with (I’m not a video game person), but that I had heard a lot about from my friend, including but not limited to the fanfic about it that they sent me of it to read on the plane on the way to this event. I’d made an early 1870s dress before, so I had some patterns and a general sense of what I was doing. The idea was there, and I promptly did my best to sketch it on a lined notebook with random colors of ballpoint pens while sitting in a hotel lobby.
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The original idea
Of course, this was back in July, so this dress has been a long time coming. There were all the issues with getting my supplies, and then I kept having to stop and work on other things, like some things for a Girl Scout project and things for Halloween. But finally, finally, it is done, and well worth the wait
I love this dress dearly. I may be my favorite costume I have ever made. There are two pockets in the skirt that go down to about my ankles to fit my swords (spirit Halloween swords that I spray painted), so that I can pull my swords out of seemingly nowhere (there are also normal pockets for normal things). The trained petticoat I made has lace trim, to add extra fluff to the hem. There is so much lace and sparkles and other fun things. I made all sorts of little accessories, from the earrings to a laurel wreath for my hair (out of trim left over from another costume)
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I did some hand embroidery on the skirt with some metallic thread
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And it’s just a delight to wear!
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I especially like how it looks from the back, with the bow and train and all the fun details :)
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bitterkarella · 2 years ago
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Midnight Pals: Legally Binding
JK Rowling: hello children Poe: oh Poe: joanne Rowling: I want to invite you all to hear my ssspecial podcassst appearance Poe: oh god Barker: what’s it called Rowling: it’s called ‘the witch trialsss of jk rowling’ Barker: ah hahaha
Rowling: ssssee, it referssss to the fact that I wrote a book about witchesss Rowling: but also, like historical witchesss, I have been unfairly persecuted Barker: damn did you think of that yourself Rowling: I’ve been workssshopping it for a while
Rowling: it’sss come to my attention Rowling: that you lot have been criticizing me Barker: damn what gave you that impression Poe: clive Barker: real big brain moments here Poe: clive
Rowling: for too long, I’ve been silenced Rowling: now it’s time for ME to do the ssssilencing Rowling: with the most POWERFUL spell of all King: oh no! the killing curse! Rowling: NO Rowling: WORSE Rowling: [handing legal papers to King] you have been sssilenced
Rowling: [hanging legal papers to Poe] you have been sssilenced Poe: what’s this Rowling: papers from my solicitor Rowling: that’s a lawyer by the way Poe: I know what that is
Rowling: these paperssss legally prohibit you from making fun of me Poe: what’s this red stain? Spaghetti sauce? Rowling: jusssst ignore that Barker: ahahah Rowling: I’v got papersss for you too clive Barker: oh this is some bullshit
Rowling: it’s time that everyone heard MY side of the story King: what’s your side of the story? Rowling: my side is Rowling: “golly I’m just a simple childrens writer golly” King: oh wow she makes a good point Poe: no she doesn’t steve King: but she’s just a simple- Poe: steve
Rowling: now that you’ve all received letters from my solicitor Rowling: no one is ever allowed to make fun of me again Mary Shelley: hey I been looking through these papers Shelley: and funny thing, I don’t see any anti-shiv clause in here Rowling: Barker: oh damn joanne that’s a big oversight Rowling: for too long the transsss have allowed to post freely Rowling: but who’s telling my ssside of the sssstory? Rowling: besides the entire British media establishment
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joanne-harcourt · 6 months ago
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I hope you all understand that Joanne can be a freak if he wants to be. He just chooses not to be a freak 90% of the time. He's probably into all kinds of "taboo for polite society" things because there's no way reading all those books hasn't made him chance upon the cursed matter even once in his formative years.
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