#currently listening to some music that helps me calm down

[fitzselfships]

Sensory overload ooough Zooble save me

[jjenthusee]

Handshakes And Trash Cans

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

a/n: simply, i wrote a lot and i didn’t wanna release it in parts, so i squeezed the entire fic here. I’ve been having fun writing small excerpts and then they turn into full fics. Jason deserves all the love, so i focused on a neighbors to lovers? No mention of vigilante stuff, but tons of domesticity. With some mentions of big brother Dick (i’m a firm believer that he’s the number one supporter of Jason and just wants the best for him), a bit of steaminess if u squint, and a very devoted Jason. leave me any comments if your comfortable sharing because i wanna know what u guys think XD and if you were crying screaming sliding down the wall like i was (also despite me still being in my repenting era, i wanted to release this as an early apology cause i wanna write another angsty drabble so maybe…maybe not look forward to that) ENJOY (link to the work before this one here)

word count: 7.1k

tags: pining, tons of fluff, strangers to friends to lovers, heartfelt confessions, big brother dick shenanigans

When you got your first two-bedroom apartment, you always thought the dream would only be possible with a roommate. You didn’t have much money during college and transitioning into a full-time job didn’t allow you to freely spend outside of necessities and rent.

But you did it. You got two bedrooms and you didn’t initially know what to do with the extra room. A hobby space, a library, a guest room, or an office? There were too many possibilities.

This was your space, so you combined it all. A basket to keep all of your current craft obsessions next to a bean bag, two full shelves of books from your childhood to your university years, and a desk in the corner to write. It was everything you hoped for. A spot to leave work out of, to decompress and remember the things that made you happy.

You were proud you did it on your own. You could enjoy solitude, your hard work and give time to prioritize yourself.

But an unexpected accomplishment came with an unexpected visitor. A handsome visitor no less. Maybe being an adult wasn’t so bad all the time.

…

But meeting new people was bad. Or you were bad at it.

When you were up at two in the morning, doing normal two a.m. activities like trying to turn your entire life around, you believed that dragging yourself to one of the community events at the apartment complex would help you get to know your neighbors. Then you could scope the scene to see if you wanted to hide forever or maybe have a friendly acquaintance you acknowledged in the hallway.

Now you wanted neither as you sat, alone, at a bar stool in the well decorated community balcony. Although you were distancing yourself from the main party, you couldn’t help admiring the string lights they hung up, the pristine décor, and new furniture. They clearly went through a grand renovation before you moved in.

Despite your need to socially decompress from all the small talk, you did feel mellow in the warm lighting, listening to the slow music you quietly hummed to.

The view was great from your table, you got to see from the edge of the balcony into the city view. Gotham City did have its moments and lots of outsiders tend to see all the bad that overruns it, but when the city is calm, it has its own virtue.

As you watched the sky line, a man also decided to join in, admiring the city lights. He stood farther from where you sat, leaning against the glass and steel railing. He was probably distancing himself from the party like you were. You could only see half of his face from your current angle and distance, but he was…charming. Broody and charming.

Gotham did have the best views, but staring was bad. A little bit of hope crept into your mind at the thought of a handsome neighbor living in the same apartment building.

Another pretty man joined him. Wow, you never realized that Gotham had a lot of great views. Maybe you needed to get out more, enjoy the scenery a bit.

The two beautiful men seemed to know each other. One more talkative than the other, but they seemed close. It was amusing watching the way they contrasted one another, a man clearly dragged to be here tonight and the other fueling himself with the night vibe.

As much as you wanted to continue to be nosy, maybe it was time to call it a night, it was late and you got enough of your pretty boy fill for the evening. Which would have been the plan if you didn’t make eye contact with the second model that blessed your eyes.

You nervously observed the charismatic man walking toward you with a bright friendly smile.

“Hello, I just wanted to ask if my brother—the tall very alone one standing over there—could be tall and very alone over here, in this seat.” He dragged the stool out from underneath the glass table you were resting your arms on.

You looked at the empty seat across from you, then glanced at his presumed brother you were staring at earlier. He clearly didn’t agree to this sudden turn of events as he watched the two of you talk and he looked more mortified than you were. It was…cute. It brought a smile to your face.

“Well, your tall and very alone brother looks scared of me.” You glanced back to the man still holding the chair out.

Your comment must have been hysterical at the way the man was almost leaning forward from laughing. His dimples fully visible and his hair falling forward. Everything he did looked stunning.

“I promise he’s friendlier than he looks.” He breathlessly held his stomach still amused at your first impression of his broody brother. “He’s tall, alone, and friendly if it helps.”

You thought for a moment, debating on your options: leave or sit with a handsome man in possibly awkward silence.

“I don’t mind being alone together.” You smiled more, giving into the curiosity of the man leaning against the railing.

You were a simple human and apparently the man in front of you was too when he ushered his brother over. A man much too large for the bar stool, but you got a good look at his full face.

The curls, defined dark eyebrows, a white streak. His face had definition, a particular beauty that differed from his brother. Not less beautiful, but you were more drawn to the rougher look.

You definitely made the right choice.

Before you had any time to say anything, the conspirator left to go mingle with another bunch of attendees. You watched him hop from one conversation to another, you didn’t know whether he knew them or he just met them like you had five seconds ago.

“I think social anxiety is scared of him.” You laughed in disbelief to your new companion.

“Trust me, you have no idea. I’ve seen him wear some of the most horrendous outfits in public, willingly. What’s worse is—I hate to admit it—but he can pull it off, in a horrifying way.” The stranger shook his head, no mortification in his voice, and you almost unconsciously lulled to the sound. “But he means well, uh, sorry he dragged you into whatever he’s planning. I could leave you alone, he tends to unintentionally be pushy.”

Oh? Broody, charming and thoughtful. Was the bar low or were you easily impressed? Maybe the husky voice is blurring the distinction.

“No, it’s okay, he seemed worried about both us being ‘very alone’ as he put it.” You spoke, glancing into the eyes of the man in front of you. Greenish blue. A wave of amusement washed over you and with the most serious expression you could muster, you decided to test the waters. “From one alone person to another, let’s be alone together.” You reached out your hand to introduce yourself.

He coyly smiled at your formal gesture, leaning in to mimic your movement. You were both leaning onto the glass table, close enough to see the slight scaring on his face. Faint enough to see them only if you were close enough, wanting to drag your thumb across them.

His warm hand engulfed yours. Calloused. A firm handshake.

“Jason, alone man, and been alone for twenty-one years.” Jason gave you the most breathtaking smile, never letting go of your hand. “I’m looking forward to this opportunity…alone, of course.”

You laughed, almost giggled from how charming this man was.

“It’s been twenty-three alone years and still counting.” You mischievously smirked, glad he joined in on your antics. “I’m glad to let you join the team. I expect great things from you.”

“And I hope to learn a lot from my superiors, I’ll be in your care.” Jason’s voice was so low at the end of his statement. It caught you off guard that you almost missed the way he held onto your hand just a tiny bit longer than you anticipated. So short that you felt like you imagined it.

The warmth still lingered on your hands after you let go.

You were so engrossed in Jason’s company and Jason only had the eyes to look at you, that neither of you could see the man, who schemed your interaction, was beaming from watching the connection spark.

…

That single handshake and nonchalant agreement that you shared with an unknown neighbor actually kept it’s promise. That evening, you found out that Jason lived on the same floor as you did, that his brother visited him a lot, and he took out the trash on Wednesdays.

He didn’t tell you the last one, but you found out the last bit of information by accident when you bumped into him on your way back from the trash room. You thought the evening you met Jason would be the first and last time you would see him, but your laziness prevented you from taking out the garbage on your designated day and you were graced with seeing his lopsided smile as you passed him in the hallway.

You were so giddy from the surprise and seeing Jason’s captivating smile, you tested your luck and took the trash out on the same day and time the following week.

You listened out in the hallway, trying to hear a door open, it was honestly crazy behavior, but you continued your slow pace, but with no tall alone man in sight and a defeated sigh, you walked to the trash room with no Jason by your side and swung the door open.

Like a beam of light cascading over you, the man in question was standing in front of you, opening the trash shoot. You never thought a man in a trash room would be sexy, but with his shirt tightly straining on his body, a flushed face, and his muscles eye level with you, anything was possible.

May whoever told this gorgeous man to live at this apartment complex eat delicious meals, have working phone chargers, and a lifetime of happiness.

Somewhere off in the far distance, Dick sneezed.

You almost forgot the reason you were in the trash room after you set your eyes on Jason’s post-workout state. He kept the shoot open for you and with unsteady steps you threw your trash bag to disappear to the unknown. You were trying to not trip up with Jason’s defined arm holding the handle open and the close proximity of his chest to your face.

Maybe you need to go on a run. Why were you acting like this right now?

“Hey, neighbor.” Jason casually spoke to you. His voice felt airy, probably winding down from the exercise. “You come around here often?”

You cleared your mind from any thoughts, the trash room was not the place to start flirting, but what were you supposed to do when Jason started it? Or what you assumed to be flirtatious conversation.

“Nah, I’m new to town.” You glanced over to him, leaning your neck back to grasp his full height. Jason hadn’t missed the movement, combing your collarbone with his gaze. “But, I might stay a while.” You melodically spoke.

Before your stare and voice settled in the air, you stepped to the side to add a little distance between the two of you. Pulling away from the tension.

“Just so I can continue my alone things.” You explained trying to smoothen the mood with a playful tone.

Jason stayed quiet like he was contemplating something in his mind. Then he let the trash shoot close and with small steps the both of you walked out into the hallway.

“What alone things do you have planned tomorrow?” Jason nonchalantly asked, so casually you almost thought you heard wrong.

“Uh, work in the morning, but nothing planned for the evening, I wanted to try out a new cookie recipe.”

“Do you wanna come over to my place—I wanted to cook something for dinner, but it just hasn’t worked out yet. Maybe you can bring those cookies?” Jason didn’t look at you, suddenly interested in the pure white walls of the hallway. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

You were stunned. How was such a beautiful man asking you to come over to his place with the promise of him cooking you dinner and all you had to do was bring your shitty cookies?

“I want to warn you that my cookies aren’t award worthy. I just follow the recipe, they’re nothing special.” You wanted to ensure that Jason was really inviting you over.

“Then I can’t wait to try your ‘nothing special’ cookies.” He reassured.

…

You spent the entire afternoon making sure your measurements were precise, not a lump of flour above the rim of the measuring utensils you haven’t brought out in a while. Usually you winged the ingredients, not really worried about the quality too much since it was just you.

But now you wanted to cry.

How did you properly fold ingredients, were you whisking right, maybe you should’ve got the too expensive butter from the store?

It took three full hours to prep, bake, and try your hand at cutely packaging the cookies. It took four attempts to arrange the cookies in a way that didn’t make you want to cancel the dinner.

But after a few pep talks in the mirror and reassuring yourself that this was a hang out and not a date, then you were able to walk over to his unit number.

You hesitantly knocked on the door, five minutes after seven because you would torture yourself thinking about arriving right on the dot before you fell asleep tonight and every night after.

Your worries left your mind when you saw Jason open the door in an apron.

“You’re just in time, I’m ready to plate everything.” He beamed.

Your heart might not be able to survive tonight. But it was just dinner.

You awkwardly handed Jason your tin of homemade cookies. You tried to limit your snooping around his apartment when he told you to wait for him to get the drinks, but curiosity was coursing through you once you realized that you were being invited into a part of Jason’s life and home.

You were no longer going to be strangers. You didn’t know if this qualified to make you friends, but you knew you were two people about to eat dinner together. A dinner he made and cookies you made as thanks.

Once you were ready to eat, you stared at your plate filled with spices, fresh veggies, a meticulously cooked entrée and a…homemade lemonade? You stared up at Jason, watching you look at his food.

“I feel like bringing you cookies isn’t enough.” Although you felt guilty, you took a bite because you didn’t want to look at one more second of Jason’s shining eyes.

You could only sigh, which made Jason worry.

“I think I’m going to name my children after you.”

Jason chuckled at your exaggeration.

“I’d be honored.”

The rest of the meal was relaxing. You didn’t have to force yourself around Jason. Your conversation flowed easily and you were interested in learning about the man you met on the balcony.

…

After many trips to the other side of the apartment building and a couple of deep cleanings of your apartment, you got accustomed to having Jason walk around your kitchen, rummaging the cabinets and organizing your spices the way he likes it.

One shared meal after another. Sometimes several times a week or spaced out further when work got busy. It was nice to look forward to a meal with Jason.

Now you had text messages from him on your phone, a designated mug for him, and a couple of his snacks that he wanted you to try.

You traded recipes. Jason gave you his favorites and you mainly just gave him ones you were curious about, not very fond of your kitchen.

After several failed attempts at convincing him that it was your kitchen that was the problem and not your ability to cook, he came over more to prove you wrong.

Now you sat at your kitchen island to watch him concentrate on mixing an assortment of spices and herbs while you memorized as much of his face and hands as possible. The TV was on, but you had no interest in whatever movie played.

“I have a confession to make.” You sadly looked at Jason.

He glanced over from the pan on the stove to your face. Confusion in his eyes from your sudden change in tone.

“I actually don’t really like cookies.” You threw your hands up in a guilty pose. “Now it’s eating me inside that I had to give those to you when I first came over to your place.”

Jason hummed and tilted his head with one of his eyebrows raised in a teasing manner.

“So, the guilt finally got to you, huh?” He grinned moving his attention back to the food cooking in front of him. His nonchalant voice resonating around you.

“I can’t sleep at night anymore.” You exaggerated, walking a little closer to his side. “Well, once you became my personal chef I realized I had to make it up to you.” You could smell the food better now that you were standing next to Jason.

“I can see the guilt in your eyes.” He flatly said watching you eyeing the food.

“We always eat when we hang out and I can make simple foods, but if I can follow a recipe I was going to suggest if I should cook something, but you are also here to prove me wrong that my kitchen isn’t cursed. Which it is by the way—”

“Your kitchen is not cursed.” He warmly scolded you. “I’ll come over everyday to prove it if I have to.”

You always had to reset your brain when he used that tone with you. It just felt too…sincere. Too intimate.

You wanted him to come over everyday. You took a breath.

“I make more money than when I was still in college, but I don’t think I can afford that many grocery bills.” You teased him. “Why do you think I go over to your place?”

You wanted to evade any serious topics and humor was the best at evading. You were good at avoidance.

“So, I’m a free pantry to you?” His eyebrows rose, questioning you. “I knew you were using me!” He faked a flabbergasted voice like he just heard his life-long partner declare they were cheating on him for months.

He turned off the stove, covering the pan with the lid and turning to face you.

“I didn’t mean to, it just sort of happened.” You gave him your best dejected look. “I promise I’ll pick up more shifts to help restock your fridge, but let me just taste your homemade ravioli one last time.” You begged as he moved closer to you, closing you in with the kitchen island behind your back.

His height and broad shoulders easily caved you in. You gulped watching his face lean down and inch closer.

“If I can’t trust you with my fridge, you don’t deserve my ravioli.” He lowered his voice, gazing down at you with a look that made you breathless. You couldn’t move with the counter behind you and Jason hovering dangerously close to you. “But, you can make it up to me.” He brought his thumb to your chin, barely a wisp of touch.

“How?” You stammered, wondering if the bit was still going.

“Let’s go to the farmer’s market tomorrow.” His hand moved from your face to the edge of the counter, close enough to touch your side and his voice returning to normal, but he didn’t pull away.

“Okay, uh, I’m off tomorrow.” You stared, darting your eyes between Jason’s eyes. Trying to adjust to the tension that was radiating off of him.

“Good, foods ready.” Jason pulled away, moving to the cabinet to grab your glass plates. He was too familiar with the layout of your kitchen.

That night you quickly learned how easy Jason was able to turn the tables. Your racing heart and shallow breathing were the only evidence of it ever happening.

…

The heat beat down on you. Of all days for Gotham to finally clear it’s clouds, it chose today.

Although you weren’t fond of the warm air, you liked watching all the colorful tents, the food on display, and seeing the various local products. Everything looked intricately cared for and it brought a proud feeling to contribute to the locals.

“Bags?” Jason asked, going through his mental checklist.

“Check.” You raised the reusable grocery bags in your hands.

“Hats?”

“Check.” You nudged the baseball cap on your head.

“Money?” Jason smirked.

You grabbed onto Jason’s bicep. Giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Check.” You grinned up at Jason looking at the placement of your hand. “Now let’s go!” You gleefully led him to the first tent with your hand still on him.

You had no idea how you ended up carrying all the bags, but you were trying to ease your mind that this could be considered a date. Jason didn’t call it that and you never asked to clarify, but you couldn’t help it itching at your brain.

You didn’t want to label anything, out of respect for Jason and what he wanted, but you noticed he had started to touch you more and the contact makes you giddy that you had to put all of your focus on making sure you don’t drop his produce.

You stood by Jason, looking at various jars of loose leaf tea. He was smelling all the aromas, helping to move the jars to your nose, so you could smell them too. He insisted on helping you since you refused to give him a bag, but you also didn’t have a free hand to grab the jar.

After a couple more sniff tests, he settled on a jar of prickly pear tea, a lemon-ginger flavor, and he was contemplating on some earl grey cookies. You were watching him, entranced by his concentration. His brows lowered, a small line appearing between his brows. You could see more of his face with a cap on, no messy curls on his forehead and his side profile was really something.

You broke out of your trance when he offered you a piece of the earl-grey cookie, holding it in front of your mouth.

“They’re free samples, try it.” He looked at you, waiting patiently. “I know you don’t like cookies, but these are made with the tea sold here. I saw all the tea you keep in your pantry, so I think you would like it.”

In your lost state at this man in front of you, that could’ve sounded like a proposal to you at that point.

You inched forward, opening your mouth for the cookie. You hesitated at the intimacy, but how could you tell that face ‘no.’ Staring at the small piece of cookie, baked a quarter of the original size they sold, you also saw all the scars that littered Jason’s hands. Many healed over, but you could see the faded lines.

You dangerously wanted to kiss each one.

You grabbed the piece in your mouth, but you didn’t realize that you accidentally touched Jason’s finger with your lip.

You quickly glanced at Jason, but his eyes were glossed over. His attention focused on your mouth.

What a sight.

You chewed and hummed. They were good. Jason cleared his throat at your approval.

“I’ll get a bag and the tea. I’ll be back. You can put the bags down for a bit because there’s a small line.” He quickly turned around, a small tinge of redness left on his ears with his head turned away from you.

You watched his back walk away, then settled the bags down to give your arms a break.

“Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you that you two are adorable.” A honeyed voice spoke trying to grab your attention.

Your head whipped back to the table of teas. An older lady restocking the various collection had a mischievous look in her eye. You hadn’t noticed her there at all.

“The way your boyfriend looks at you, I haven’t seen a look like that since my husband passed many years ago.” The lady gushed.

“Wha, no, I—“ You stammered, trying to clear up the confusion, but your flustered face must’ve amused the woman.

“That made my day, so I wanted to give you this lemon bar we just started selling. Go on, take it and share it with him.” She pressured you to take the free treat. You were too speechless to try to refuse it and insist that you pay before she placed it in your hand herself and she walked off to help another customer wanting a sample.

Your face felt hot and you hoped it cleared before Jason came back, but before you could fan the redness away he appeared next to you with his purchase.

“Hey, you okay? Where’d you get that lemon—”

“Let’s get some lunch!” You grabbed the bags and nudged him to the food trucks lining the edge of the market, trying to hide your face with your hat and leaving the comments from the woman behind.

…

“Wow, this might be the best empanada I’ve ever had.” You chomped at your lunch.

Jason found a waffle place and settled on a berry topping. It was wrapped perfectly to fit in his hands.

You sat across from Jason at an outdoor table with an umbrella to shield you from the sun, sitting away from the rush of people lining up to also eat. The midday lunch rush got to you and you wanted to have a bit of privacy before you went back home.

“How long have you known about this place?” You asked Jason, a slight breeze grazing your face. Watching a kid nudging his dad for a piece of banana bread he found on one of the vendor’s tables.

“Last year? It was recent, but I’ve heard it’s been around for a while. Maybe over five years?” Jason took a bite of his waffle.

“I wish I had found this during my university years. This is a bit out of the way of my walk route, but it would’ve been awesome to browse with my friend.” You saw the boy you were watching earlier smiling wide as he held his dad’s hand and the banana loaf as big as his head. You smiled at the interaction.

“But I probably would’ve sent my friend into shock.” You continued, the boy and his dad disappearing into the crowd. “I wasn’t very social during my university years.” You glanced at Jason, his waffle gone and he was neatly folding the wrapper.

“My friend would joke that I would only meet someone if they magically met me at home. Like that was the only way I could score a date.” You pitifully joked at the old memory. “Sounds absurd doesn’t it, but she wasn’t wrong—“

You saw a shift in Jason’s eyes. He had an oddly serious look, it stopped you from talking and you sat up straighter, wondering what he was thinking about.

You waited, watching him internally fight with whatever he wanted to say.

“That’s not true.” He hesitated. “You’re funny, you’re able to connect with others, you’re a great listener, and you’re honest. You don’t have the heart to be mean to others and your facial expressions are adorable.” His voice rose the longer he defended you. His serious expression further amplified with his furrowed eyebrows. A part of his face obscured by his cap, but you felt the raw emotion emanating from him.

“Anyone would be enamored with you, even if they met you in the hallway or walking down the street.” He puffed, crushing the waffle paper on the table.

You were surprised, glancing over at Jason, watching him get this frustrated. You realized you’ve never seen him this…emotional and he refused to look at you.

The sudden development and his clear thoughts about you stunned you. You joked with Jason how alone you both were, it even brought you together thanks to his brother, but you didn’t really know how alone he truly was. You don’t think he really understood how lonely you were too.

You enjoyed your shared meals, you craved his time and attention.

You got so used to his presence that the days you didn’t see him, you felt like you were dreaming. Waiting to wake up when you heard that familiar knock on your door.

Your heart raced and you hoped he cherished your time together like you did.

You didn’t want to assume his witty personality as being flirtatious, you didn’t want to misunderstand any of his intentions because he was funny, charming, and awkward in ways that you just wanted to grab his face and protect him.

You didn’t particularly need Jason as your person, that felt too selfish, but you also wanted to be somebody to him. Either next to him or from a distance.

A friend, a companion, a lover. The label didn’t really matter to you because you were open to any role. A lover wasn’t more significant than a friend would be. They both had the same foundation, to care for someone unconditionally.

You convinced yourself that you were happy alone, but not until recently you realized you weren’t living. You were asleep in the routine of life.

And when Jason entered your life, you felt like you woke up for the first time.

Like he was the only one who could wake you up.

All you knew was that you wanted to be there. Through his pain, his suffering, his happiest moments, his accomplishments, his anger. To be his person.

To also help him wake up.

Your silent contemplation made Jason panic.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get worked up—“

“I think apartment community events count.” You softly whispered, indecisive of whether you wanted him to hear you or not.

“What—“

“And secret meetings in the trash room too.” Your voice meek.

You were shaking, too tense to look at his reaction to your words.

“Despite what she told me, I still managed to meet you. And I was able to have some of the best meals. I’ve never laughed as hard as I have when we joked. I’m able to try new things.” You raised your head, overwhelmed by your feelings, but you hoped to convey yourself properly to Jason. “I’ve never felt so comfortable and safe with anyone else.”

Jason looked at you wide eyed and speechless, his mouth slightly agape. You took the disbelief as a sign to continue.

“I’m able to be all those things that you said because I’m with you.” Your voice filled with more resolve the more concrete your feelings felt, the more sure you became. You squeezed your eyebrows together, complete sincerity in your gaze, your heart filled with so much emotion.

But your eyebrows relaxed once you saw Jason’s face turn red. His ears a crimson shade. Before you could engrave it in your memory, he tilted his head down, covering his face with the front of his baseball cap.

“Wait, wait, wait—I didn’t expect this.” Jason rubbed a hand down his face, but the redness contrasted the skin of his hand. “You were so shy every time I tried to push the boundaries between us, but now your directly confessing everything at once.”

He stopped rubbing his face and rested his hand on the table. Meeting your gaze, a tint of red still on his skin but not as deep as before.

“I’ve been trying to get closer to you. I’ve been hoping to run into you since we first talked on the balcony. When we met in the trash room, I purposely tried to meet you again. I’ve looked forward to every meal I’ve cooked for you and although I haven’t been clear about my feelings, I didn’t want to pressure or rush you.” Jason took a breath, closing his eyes for a moment.

When they opened again, his eyes were completely focused on you.

“I want us to be more than friends…I want to be able to come over when I miss you, fold laundry together, buy you things when they remind me of you, I want you to call me when you need car maintenance.” He kept his eyes trained on you, but his voice faltered. “I want to hold your hand and to kiss you. I want us to go on dates.”

You raised your hand to the table, placing your hand over Jason’s, but he quickly flipped your hands so he was holding yours a little more firmly.

“I want to know if you snore while you sleep, to have your things at my place, so I see you in every inch of my life. I want you to know how much I’ve fallen for you.”

“I want that too.” Your voice trembled. “I’ve been wanting to hold your hand while we walked today and I want you to come over more often.” You choked as Jason leaned in to caress your face with his hand. A sickening sweet touch that you never knew you would get to feel. You cupped your hand over his.

“I’m so happy. I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while.” Jason whispered to you, his voice so honey sweet.

You looked up to him. A gentle gaze reflecting back.

“I probably look like a mess right now.” You shakily laughed.

“Of course not, you’re breathtaking, sweetheart.” Jason rubbed a thumb on your cheek, completely enamored by you.

“As much as I would love to hear you continue, I’m worried about the stuff you bought and this heat.” You tried to focus, but the smooth touch of Jason was difficult to ignore.

“Yeah, we probably need to make our way back.”

Despite his words, he didn’t move. He lingered on your face a while longer before he looked at all the bags he accumulated this morning.

“Will you let me help you carry some of the bags?” He asked. “I also want to hold your hand on the way back.”

You beamed at him. Reaching for his hand as you stood up.

…

Your walk back was refreshing.

You were exhausted from the intense flux of emotions you released, but Jason’s grip on your hand stabilized you.

You couldn’t stop smiling, the heat no longer bothering you. You swung your interlaced hands to the motion of your steps and Jason let you do what you wanted as long as you still held on.

When you got to the entrance of your apartment building, you were graced with the AC hitting you. Your hair would definitely be messed up from the sweat and your cap.

You waited in front of the elevator doors as it descended from the last person that used it. The lobby was empty, except from the usual leasing office workers inhabiting the space, but it was just you and Jason off to the side.

As you glanced around, making sure the employees were occupied, you used your grip on Jason’s hand to pull him down enough for you to kiss his cheek. A little awkward with your cap in the way, but you were able to surprise Jason.

He stayed hunched forward, shifting his face to look at you closely and digest what you did.

Ding. The elevator doors opened and you pulled Jason in the elevator.

You felt accomplished as you pushed the button to your floor. When you moved back to Jason’s side, you looked up to him, but he grabbed your face.

His hand pushed your cap up, so he could lean in and kiss you. His hat also moving up at the angle he was in.

You closed your eyes, disoriented at the feeling and because Jason completely blocked your view of the elevator, so you only heard the doors close.

Lost in the feeling and the movement of his lips, you dropped the bags in your hand to grab at Jason’s sleeve, wanting to grasp at something.

You’ve never felt so desperate to get Jason even closer and he must have understood or he craved it more because he pushed you back against the elevator wall. You felt the cold metal against your back and you gasped.

Jason devoured the sound, motivating him to hold your waist, but it wasn’t enough for him. He crouched a little lower to grasp you behind your legs to lift you fully off the ground, inching your body up, higher and more level with his face.

The angle changed and you easily wrapped your arms around his neck while simultaneously wrapping your legs around his waist. The moment intensifying as you pulled at his hair below his hat and you swallowed the low groan that left his mouth. You were drawn to the deep sound and the feeling of the hum you felt on your mouth.

You were practically flush against his body and you were down to your last few breaths, but you didn’t want to pull your face away from Jason.

You nipped at his lower lip and he lifted his hands to cup the sides of your face, digging his fingers into your sweaty hair and rubbing the back of your ears. You opened your mouth wanting to feel more of him when you heard someone loudly clear their throat.

You pulled away, shoving Jason by his shoulders as he whipped his head to see where the voice came from. You fell to your feet trying to lean against the wall with the sudden motion, hair a mess with your cap lopsided as you looked past Jason to see Dick standing there with a hand on his waist and the other holding the elevator door open. He didn’t look at the two of you directly, more like a lost look to the side.

You breathlessly adjusted your cap as you frantically smoothed out your shirt.

Jason pulled his cap down as he sighed then redirected his attention to you, gently reaching out to you to smooth out some of your hair and help you stand up straighter. Then he grabbed the bags you both dropped on the floor as he turned around to face his brother.

“I didn’t know you were coming over. You should’ve texted.” Jason walked past his brother, annoyance laced in his voice.

“I did.” Dick replied. He looked at you then followed after Jason. “But it seems you were a little occupied.” Amusement coating his voice and visible in the way he walked.

“I see you’re getting to know your neighbors very well.” Dick teased, a giant grin on his face. “I’m glad.”

What a way to meet Jason’s brother again after all this time. You wanted the floor to open up and swallow you away from the lack of awareness you had to make out with Jason in public.

You couldn’t decide if it was worse that a stranger could’ve saw you or that Dick was the one who did.

“Yeah, yeah, come inside.” Jason unlocked the door to his apartment. You nervously followed after the two.

“No seriously, I’m glad you two continued to see each other.” A genuine comment from Dick. “I’ve never seen you so comfortable with someone, Jaybird.”

A small hum from Jason as he set the bags down onto the counter.

With no indication that he wanted to speak further, you decided to talk.

“I’m sorry we’re meeting again like this. I promise I’m usually a better influence.” Hopefully your lighthearted tone would give off a better impression than the one on the elevator.

“Ha! I know you are because,” Dick moved in closer, lowering his voice. “This is the most behaved I’ve seen Jason in months.”

“Alright, enough, dickwa—Dick,” Jason cleared his throat. “But we just got back and I want to shower. It was too damn hot today.”

“Oh, I bet it was—“

“Thank you! Never come by again. See you. Good Night.” Jason raised his voice, shoving his brother out the door.

“No, please, I swear I’m done!” Dick pleaded as he was trying to hang onto the door frame, but Jason closed the door before he could start to beg.

“Are you sure he’ll be alright?” You questioned Jason.

He didn’t bother to answer your question as he closed the space between you and wrapped his arms around you, resting his forehead on your shoulder and letting his hands intertwine around your waist, falling onto your lower back.

Jason signed into your shirt. The feeling slightly tickling you.

“I wasn’t done earlier.” He whispered against you. “Then that dickhead had to interrupt.”

You laughed, loving the pouty sound of his voice.

You embraced him back, leaning your head against his.

“I think the elevator interrupted you.” You rubbed his back in soothing circles.

You closed your eyes for a moment, letting a silence fall in Jason’s apartment before your curiosity got to you.

“Jaybird?”

“It’s a nickname.”

“It’s cute.”

“Enough about him, we need to put away all the stuff we bought.” Jason lifted his head to sullenly look at the numerous bags.

“That reminds me.” You let go of him to dig around the bags, trying to find your earlier gift. “I was told to share this with you by an older woman who thought my boyfriend was adorable.”

Jason shifted behind you. Closing his hands on the edges of the counter, both of his arms on your sides. Once you found the lemon bar, you turned your body, careful to lean against the counter with Jason’s body still in front of you, around you practically.

“It’s a new product. She said I could have it for making her day, but I have to thank you because we wouldn’t have gotten it without you.”

You opened the wrapper, breaking a piece off to feed to Jason.

“How does it taste?”

Jason lingered. You anticipated what he thought, but he leaned forward to kiss you. You held onto the lemon bar, but lowered it the more heated your kiss became. The tangy taste invading your mouth.

“Amazing.”

[misspygmypie]

Saturday Morning Dilemma - LN4

Pairing: Lando Norris x Piastri!reader Warning: None, just fluff! Probably trash writing lol also English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes! Summary: Lando asks you out but can you squeeze in a date during busy race weekend? Note: First time writing for F1 and I haven't written anything in literal years but I was bored at work and had this idea in mind :)

Please do not repost, thank you, and leave some feedback :)

“Will you go out with me?... On a date” Lando breathed out, his nerves tingling with anticipation. 

You looked absolutely stunning today even though you were “only” wearing a McLaren hoodie. To Lando, you weren’t just another face around the circuit, you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He couldn’t resist asking you out, especially after all the time you had spent together around the paddock.

As Oscar’s little sister you were a familiar presence, always there to support your brother. And over time you and Lando had established quite a friendship as well, becoming closer and closer the more time passed and he had fallen in love with you somewhere between annoying your brother by listening to loud music and giggling at a joke he cracked.

Now here you were standing in front of him on this early Saturday morning, you were clearly still a bit sleepy but excited nonetheless for the race weekend ahead and your slightly tired expression made you that much more endearing to Lando.

“Lando” your eyes widened, your heartbeat quickening, “yes, I would absolutely love to go on a date with you.”

A huge smile lit up both your faces but yours quickly faded as reality set in.

“What is it?” Lando asked, sensing your hesitation.

“I’m not sure when we would have time to go on a date,” you sighed regretfully, “I have to fly back home tomorrow right after the race. I have to be back at work on Monday, I’m sorry.”

He could see the sincerity in your eyes. You meant it and that just fueled his determination to find a solution for your little problem.

Lando took a deep breath. He fumbled trying to get his phone out of his pocket and you watched him tap around the screen for a moment before he looked back up at you with a hopeful expression.

“Are you free in like… an hour and a half?” he inquired, and even if you wanted to there was no way you would say no.

You nodded, unable to suppress a smile, the one he cherished so much and he grinned widely in return.

“Awesome,” he beamed, his excitement palpable, “meet me in my driver’s room!”

You didn’t even have a chance to agree before Lando dashed off, quickly swerving through the countless people crowding the area.

—-------

“Osc, you need to help me!”

Lando burst out, out of breath a bit as he came to a stop in front of his team mate interrupting his  discussion with one of the engineers but Lando’s problem was bigger than whatever this was about.

Without waiting for Oscar’s response Lando pulled him aside, dragging him to the corner of the room, with the Aussie offering an apologetic wave to his engineer as he was whisked away.

“What’s up? Are you ok?” Oscar asked, concern creasing his brow.

“I asked y/n on a date” the Brit admitted, his voice a mix of excitement and nervousness.

“Oh my god, finally” Oscar exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air, “I didn’t think it was ever going to happen. You two have been making heart eyes at each other for months!”

Lando couldn’t help but feel relieved; he had been so worried about how Oscar - and admittedly one of his closest friends - would react to him pursuing and being interested in his baby sister. The fact that Oscar seemed to be so supportive calmed him down quite a bit, however, only momentarily as the predicament he was currently in still loomed over him.

“So, what do you need?” the Australian inquired, his tone expectant as he looked at his team mate with a mix of curiosity and readiness for whatever help his friend needed.

—-------

An hour and a half later you gently knocked on Lando’s driver’s room door, just as you two had agreed upon. You had spent the last hour just wandering around the circuit, a bundle of nerves and being excited at the same time about whatever Lando was planning. You had harbored a crush on the British racer for quite some time but doubted yourself. You didn’t think you were pretty enough to get his attention or even special enough - you were just average. An average girl with an ordinary job, mediocre looks and admittedly mundane hobbies.

Little did you realize that these qualities were exactly what made you so intriguing to Lando. He had met quite a few models and influencers, but their interactions were always shallow with beauty overshadowing their personalities. These girls were fixated on his fame and fortune. You, however, were different. A genuine soul amid a sea of fame-seeking twenty-somethings. You were simply you and he loved that about you. Your love for reading on gloomy days, your camera-shy demeanor, your pretty face and perfect body even though you weren’t as tall as supermodels.

“Hi” Lando beamed at you with his captivating, big smile and gesturing for you to enter. As he closed the door behind you your gaze fell on the small desk in his room and you couldn’t suppress a laugh.

“What is this?” You giggled, turning to Lando who now stood next to you; so close in fact, that your heart skipped a beat.

A second chair was pulled up to his desk, the space clearly not meant for two. On top was a small plastic cup with flowers and bits of greenery poking out. Next to it, his phone was propped up, showing a random Youtube loop of a burning candle.

“Oh, yes,” he exclaimed, quickly grabbing the solo cup and handing it to you with a smile, “these are for you.”

You chuckled again, inspecting your makeshift bouquet. “Did you randomly pick them around the paddock?” 

“I might have borrowed them from different motorhomes,” Lando confessed with a wink, “but don’t tell anyone. Come sit!”

"And what's with the phone?"

"Well, we can't have real candles," he explained, "I don't want to be the reason the fire department has to be called again..."

"That makes sense, " you nodded while taking a seat.

You had barely settled in when you heard a knock on the door. Your heart sank. You knew it was someone from his team trying to get him to prepare himself for the upcoming race or grab him to do an interview. All you wanted was to spend time with Lando, especially since you knew you couldn’t go on your date and it broke your heart. This was possibly your only chance before you had to go back home and while you were there Lando probably got interested in some other - way better looking - girl that he didn’t have to wait for. You mentally prepared yourself to smile at (and secretly absolutely hating!) whoever came in and took the boy away from you. How wrong you were!

In came Oscar, skillfully balancing two plastic plates in his hand, a cheap dish towel draped over and dangling from his arm. 

“Rigatoni Canzoneri for the lady” he announced with a grin, placing the dish in front of you before turning to Lando. “And here is your order of chicken pasta and steamed vegetables. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Lando shook his head appreciatively. “That would be all for now, thanks Osc.”

A soft giggle escaped your lips as you watched your brother bow slightly and shuffle out of the room giving you a small thumbs up and a little wink Lando didn’t see.

“What’s all this about?” you turned your attention back to the boy next to you, curiosity dancing in your eyes.

“Well,” he smirked ever so slightly, a hint of mischief in his expression, “since we don’t have time for a proper date this will have to do. I’m sorry if this is kinda lame” you saw his insecurity taking over, “I know it’s not much, with the plastic plates and food from catering and fake candle light and no real bouquet and maybe I should have waited for a better moment to ask you out…”

“Lando stop,” you interrupted him gently, placing a reassuring hand on his arm.

He looked at you and all you saw in his eyes was evidence of insecurity even though he tried to hide it. You saw the shy boy from Bristol, not the renowned Formula 1 driver. The curly-haired young man who often doubted himself despite his successes.

“This is absolutely perfect,” you assured him and you sensed his tension ease as he exhaled softly and quietly.

Nodding gratefully Lando relaxed and soon the two of you found yourselves engrossed in conversation, much like you always were, while enjoying the food and cans of soda he pulled from a small mini fridge. Your warm smile and the affection shining in your eyes were telling him what he needed to hear and see - that your feelings for him matched his own for you.

[kopilot-pop]

[New Jeans x Oldest Member! Reader] - #1

-imagine.

Summary: You’re the oldest member in NJ. With that title comes alot of responsibilities, from being the support beam for your (not so official) leader to protecting your maknae from rude interviewers. (This is just a bunch of moments of a very protective/warm Y/n.)

Warnings: sickness, fighting(?), protectiveness, cursing, rude people, etc.

A/N: Hey, it’s been a while. So sorry for disappearing for like… 20 days..? I’m back with another NJ fic because alot of people liked the bodyguard one haha. It’s mostly platonic love from Y/n btw. Oh, and lil background info; Y/n's is a 03(a year older than Hanni/Minji) and used to be a dancer before being casted by Hybe.

———————————————————————

#1

“What do you mean she has to come?!”

‘Oh god..’

Minji is furious to say the least.

You’re currently holding a sick Haerin in your arms, rocking her back and forth. The poor girl has been feeling off for a few days at this point and on the day of an important performance, her fever had become unbearable.

Last night, Minji woke up to Haerin crying in pain and woke you up in a panic. Since then, 3 hours has passed and the girl’s fever doesn’t seem to want to go down. Minji quickly went to call the manager to adjust the schedule while you decided to keep watch on Haerin.

“She can’t even stand straight oppa! You seriously can’t expect her to-”

“Listen Minji. This is an important schedule and the producers aren’t gonna be happy if the whole team doesn’t show up. As much as I want to help, it’s just not possible!”

“Ugh!”

Due to all the yelling, the younger girl stirred awake. She stayed quiet, but it was clear to you that she was listening to the conversation.

“Unnie-”

“No. You’re not going to the festival.” You cut her off before she could say anything.

“I.. I can go..! It’s fi-” Haerin fell back into your arms in a coughing fit. After a stern look from you, she finally sighed and snuggled into your chest. Soon after Minji came in - grumbling in frustration.

“I can’t believe him! He-“

“Hey, sweetie, calm down first.” You put Haerin back down on her bed, tucking her in.

“How do you expect me to be calm?! They’re forcing Haerin to perform in this condition! To make things worse, the performance is in the morning, the weather forecast even says it could rain, and, and-” Haerin sat up in the bed, covering herself in the thick blankets. Her wide eyes looked back and forward you and Minji worriedly.

“WOAH, woah, Min, you need to calm down. You’re stressing out Haerin here.”

“Speaking of Haerin- you! Why would you hide the fact that you were sick?! If you told us sooner we could’ve-”

“Kim Minji.”

The moment you saw Haerin’s eyes become watery you decided to shut everything down. Minji, realising her mistake, immediately stopped talking and looked away. You decided to grab her arm and pull her out of the room to talk.

After a few moments of silence, she decided to talk.

“Unnie… I’m sorry…”

“You don’t need to be sorry to me. Minji. I know you’re stressed out from all the schedules and practices, and I understand you’re just worried for Haerin. However, that doesn’t mean you can let your frustrations out onto your members.”

“…”

“I know you’re just trying your best and I really appreciate it, but you need to calm down.”

“I just… I’m just worried….” The shorter girl slowly came up to you. You hold her in a tight hug as she sobs quietly into your shoulder.

“Hey, I know, it’s gonna be okay. I’ll give the producers a call, okay? Go get some sleep with Haerin.”

“Mmph..” You wipe away her tears with your sleeve and give her a smile. Minji decides to give you a final hug and go back to her shared room with Haerin.

———————————————————————

#2

“Nope.”

“Y/N!!”

You’re currently in a tiny meeting with the producer of a well known music show. Since you’ve been in the entertainment business for a while, you recognized alot of their faces - including the fuming man you’ve been arguing with for about 20 minutes now.

“Hyein’s 15. I’m not letting you put her in that and that’s final.”

“It’s just a damn skirt-”

“Nope.”

“The fans would want-”

“Nope.”

“We’ve had other idols-“

“Nope.”

“For gods sake! This isn’t about you! The stylists already prepared everything and we aren’t going to change things just because YOU think ‘the skirt’s too short’.”

This whole debacle started with a slight comment from Hyein. She’s preparing for a solo special stage on Music Bank, and you decided to tag along for support..

(1 Hour Ago)

“Hey! You really came!!”

Hyein - in her tall glory - came running towards you, capturing you in a tight hug.

“Oof- Hey bub, good to see you too.”

You give her a slight pat on her head, holding her tightly to your body.

“Hehe, oh-! Have you seen my makeup for today?! It’s really pretty, with jewels, and…”

You watched as the younger girl went on and on about her excitement. It was her first ever stage alone, and you knew the amount of practice and effort she put on just for this moment.

“- and, and the jacket! It’s pink and so cute! Everything’s amazing - well, there is the skirt - but the dancers are just amazing!!”

“Whoah- what? What about the skirt?”

(1 Hour Later)

So you’re now in the waiting room, arguing, while Hyein is practicing in a different room with dancers.

You are extremely protective over your members, and everybody in the building probably knew that. A video of you almost physically fighting with a rude staff (that decided it was okay to threaten Hanni) went viral in the past, so the staffs were looking between you and the producer nervously.

It didn’t help that your face was gradually becoming more sour as the man went on about ‘pleasing the crowd’.

“What do you mean this isn’t about me? That’s your excuse? Hyein’s my teammate, she’s our maknae, and you’re trying to put her in and outfit she’s clearly uncomfortable in - for what? To appeal to disgusting perverts sitting in the crowd just waiting for a wardrobe malfunction?!”

“Of course n-”

“Listen. I’m not telling you to completely change everything in the crowd, all I’m telling you, is to let our stylist change the skirt to the pants she already prepared just in case. I genuinely don't see a single problem with that."

"I-.."

"Unless you're one of the 'perverts in the crowd'."

"How dare y-!"

"I'll take that as a no."

You quickly pushed past the fumbling man - bowing to the stressed staff members - and let out a deep sigh to calm yourself.

You promised to help Hyein rehearse after all.

———————————————————————

#3

There is no doubt in your mind that Danielle is one of the sweetest human beings in the world - and you hate it.

Not that you hate Danielle, god no, it's just that you absolutely hate the people around her that try to take advantage of her sweet personality.

Thankfully, she has scary dog privileges (you).

"Um...haha.. really...?"

You were getting drinks for the group at the vending machine when you faintly heard the younger girls voice from the hallway. In your mind she was supposed to be with the makeup artist, so why was she here?

"Yes! I really, really like you Danielle!"

You dropped the drinks in your hands and sped to where the conversation was.

Near the bathroom you could see Dani gripping onto your jacket(she was cold), nervously smiling at another idol practically cornering her and... confessing his love..?

"I took a long time trying to build up the courage to ask you.. and I was hoping that maybe we could go on a date some time?"

"I'm really flattered... but.. um.."

You could tell she was uncomfortable. She was stuttering, trying her best to form a refusal, but you knew your Dani hated saying no - especially when she knew the other person would be heartbroken by it.

You hesitated choosing between stepping in and just watching until either Dani says something or the boy leaves, but that was all thrown out the window when he decided to grab her before she could back away.

"Hey."

The young boy visibly froze up at your deep voice.

He was tall for his age, but still alot shorter than you. He nervously turned around and the moment he saw your face he could tell you were not happy.

"Oh! Um hello su-"

"We need to prepare for the stage Dani. Come on."

You lightly slapped his arm way and pulled her into yours, quickly making your way to your group's waiting room.

As soon as the door shut, you were finally able to check on her.

"You okay? He didn't do anything did he?"

"I'm fine unnie! Thank you so much.. I just didn't know how to tell him I wasn't looking to date anyone... He's one of my new friends, and I didn't really want to lose him, and I didn't want him to feel bad - oh no! I just left him there! Oh, maybe I should go back-" The younger girl started to ramble her worries, making you slightly panic.

"Hey! It's okay! He's gonna be fine.. And Dani! You can't always say y-........ nevermind.." You sighed.

You definitely hate how her puppy eyes make you weak, too.

———————————————————————

#4

It's a casual day off at the New Jeans house.

Just like any other break day, you decided to take a long nap on the couch. Quiet, peaceful, and not a single soul wanting to bother y-

"Nevermind..." You sighed.

That thought was shattered into pieces when you woke up on the couch with Hanni on top of you.

You have a warm body in general and all the girls usually used you like a heater whenever they were cold, huddling into you like baby penguins surrounding their mother.

That included cuddling into your arms whenever they caught you taking a nap on the couch.

So when you stirred awake, you weren't surprised to find Hanni (Y/n Heater's #1 fan) lying on top of you, spread like a flying squirrel.

'Ah, who cares.'

You decided to just go back to sleep, right hand holding the younger steady just in case she falls like last time.

-

You woke back up abut 30 minutes later to find that your chest has gotten heavier.

You tiredly opened one eye to see that another body - Hyein - has been added to your napping form. You were honestly used to this by now, and decided go back to sleep - already expecting at least one more addition to the pile when you wake back up.

-

"Unnie..."

'There it is.'

20 minutes later, you woke back up to the sound of a soft voice calling for you.

You lazily opened your eyes to see Danielle standing next to you awkwardly.

"Hmm? Need somethin' sunshine?"

"...Can I join..?"

You stared at her in disbelief before letting out a soft chuckle.

"Yeah sure, might be a tight squeeze though- oof!"

The moment you approved she rammed into your side, squeezing next to Hanni. She was slightly hanging off the edge, so in a second you held on tight to her arms - just in case.

You let out content sigh while falling back asleep.

-

It was 4 hours after you started you nap when you awoke for the 4th time.

You opened your eyes to see two lumps on the floor next to the couch. Minji was awake, watching the TV on a low volume, while Haerin was lying on the floor with her head in Minji's lap - lightly snoring.

"She's practically purring, huh?"

Minji - slightly jumped by your voice - let out a quiet laugh.

"Yeah, she seemed tired."

"Hmm... aren't you?"

"I just enjoy seeing you guys like this."

"This? This is basically going to the gym. Have you ever carried 3 bodies on your chest?"

She let out a giggle.

"No, but what I meant is that I enjoy seeing you guys happy like this."

"Hah."

"Don't laugh! I mean it."

She lightly leaned back for her head to rest on your shoulder.

"It's peaceful. And I love it."

———————————————————————

A/N: Thanks for reading. Love y'all <3

[stellar-constellations]

Star Patient: Chapter 2 (ONGOING SLOW BURN SERIES)

WARNING: This series will include; possible inaccurate medical procedures and medical setting, gore, toxic relationships that should NOT be replicated in real life, murder, yanderes, cursing, suicide mentions, implications of misandry (male misogyny), and possibly more.

Inaccurate canon-timeline (this is before Ashley and Andrew murdered their parents).

Reader has a small fear of adult men/rape and has a history of suicide attempts.

Incest is not Wincest.

Amnesiac! Obsessive! Patient! Andrew Graves x Yandere! Nurse! Reader:

Wordcount: 4,625 words

Chapters: Chapter 1, Current chapter, Chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9 (in the works)

Want to listen to music while reading? Check out the Star Patient's Official Playlists! Multiple different playlists and genres!

        (Y/N) adjusted the name tag on her shirt as she walked to the hospital's entrance, her other hand holding some books and a DS. 

        Rachael's appointment should be starting soon. I need to hurry so I don't be late. She thought as she sped up.

        A security guard was outside guarding the hospital doors but once noticing (Y/N), he stopped her.

        "You need to go to the psychiatric branch immediately." They spoke.

        "...Huh?" She muttered audibly. "Oh... No, sir. I work in the pediatric branch with Doctor Ryan, he's my superior. You're mistaking me for someone else."

        "No, miss. Andrew Graves from room 402 wants to see you now." The security guard reaffirmed. 

        "...H-he does? That's just... great!" she smiled nervously, a terrified expression on her face.

        HE KNOWS I KNOW ABOUT HIM! She screamed in her head.

        "Get going before he breaks any more staff equipment." The security guard pressed on.

        "Okay, okay!" (Y/N) sighed, rushing into the hospital and to the elevators.

        She pressed the button and waited for the elevator to come down, walking into it and pressing the fourth floor button. She waited impatiently for the doors to open and rushed out when they finally did, heading towards the staff room. She unlocked the staff door and filled her bag with medical supplies: a mediscope, a stethoscope, a bottle of water and a bag of pretzels.

        She clocked in and sped-walked to Andrew's door, room 402, and hesitated before knocking on the door.

        "Go away!" Andrew shouted.

        "Hey there! It's me! (Y/N)? From last night?" she called out, her nervousness evident in her voice.

        "You can come in." Andrew spoke almost too quickly.

        Damn it... She thought to herself, before taking a deep breath and entering the room.

        He never corrected me last night when I gave him pet names, so they worked with calming him down. She noted.

        "Hi, star! I heard you've been causing some trouble." (Y/N) smiled, her smile twitching slightly, her voiced sounding a little muffled to him.

        Andrew opened his mouth to speak, but then paused. Why did he need to see her so badly? 

        "M... My head." He muttered. "It hurts. I need you to look at it." 

        (Y/N) couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her throat as she walked over to him. Her nerves were still on fire, but not as much as they were earlier seeing how quiet and flustered he'd gotten.

        "Did you do anything strenuous?" she questioned.

        "Ashley and I started arguing, then she grabbed my hair and shook my head back and forth." Andrew explained.

        (Y/N) wanted so badly to coddle him. To hold him in her arms and dote over him. It’s a bad habit she really needs to break, but the weird part is that she only acted towards that to people she really really liked—romantically. Anyone else she’d feel extremely annoyed and angry (unless it was children, they’re her soft spot). 

        She wants to have him laying on her body with his head in her chest as she petted his hair, cooing soft sweet reassurances into his ears so that he’d feel better.

        What the hell is wrong with me?! she thought, her face and body heating up, a bright red forming.

        I’m only thinking this because he’s obviously being treated like shit by his sister. Poor Andrew can’t even stand up for himself against her (literally). She thought.

        “Oh, Andrew. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why anybody would do that to you.” She pouted, her body acting on its own as her hands went up and gently grabbing his face, caressing the sides delicately as she looked into his eyes.

        His eyes were wide and green, laced with surprise as his face was red, looking as if he was a Christmas decoration with the bright festive colors.

        “W-what are you doing?!” he exclaimed, grabbing her arms and pulling away from her, his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

        “Oh! I’m so sorry! Did I hurt you?” she questioned worriedly.

        “N-no! You… you were really close..” Andrew claimed, covering his face with his hands.

        Aw! He’s so cute when he’s flustered! (Y/N) thought to herself, a smile breaking out onto her face.

        WHAT AM I THINKING? HE’S A WANTED MAN (by the cops and me, it seems)! HE’S MY PATIENT TOO! I SHOULDN’T BE DOING THIS WITH HIM! she screeched in here head.

        “I’m sorry! I got too carried away…” She chuckled nervously, her nails digging into her palms as punishment. "I usually work with children as you know, and they appreciate the action. I acted on impulse.

        “W-whatever…” Andrew muttered, his face still not completely cooled off.

        “Let’s try this again.” She smiled awkwardly.

        She tilted Andrews’s chin up (causing wave of red to hit his face just before the other one subsided) and reached into her medical bag, pulling out her mediscope.

        “Keep your eyes open.” She instructed, following the same procedures as she did yesterday. “Now open wide.” She directed, pointing the light into his mouth. “Stay still.” She spoke as she looked into his ears.

        She noticed blood in them and sighed.

        “Either your sister ruptured your eardrums with all her yelling, or she caused the internal bleeding in your head to get worse. You’re going to need surgery for that.” She explained. 

        “Aw… damn it…” Andrew muttered.

        No wonder his hearing was a little muffled.

        “I mean, it was about time for the surgeons to get your legs done! They only got your ankles bandaged up, but they haven’t had surgery on your legs yet.” (Y/N) explained. 

        “I really can’t afford it...” Andrew muttered softly to himself, but (Y/N) heard it.

        He can’t afford it? Makes sense since he said he doesn’t have anywhere to go, so I doubt he has a home. She thought to herself before a stupid idea flashed in her mind. What if I… have him stay with me after he’s well enough to leave? she quickly shook the idea out of her head. 

        No way! He’s a wanted man! But… I haven’t called the cops on him yet, so I’m already committing a crime. Who cares if I get more years to my sentence for housing this man under my roof, feeding, sheltering, and spending time (loving) with him? she thought. 

        “Don’t worry about it, I feel we’ll find a way!” (Y/N) beamed. “Now, here’s the deal. I’m going to get the doctors to get surgery done on you, then when your head is all better and dandy, I’ll show you the collection of books and video games I specifically picked out for you~” she spoke, dragging her tone out to make the deal appeal more tempting.

        Specially picked out? Andrew thought.

        His interest was piqued instantly.

        “Yeah, whatever…” Andrew huffed, crossing his arms and adverting his head to the side.

        “Great! You’ll behave and listen to what they say, right?” She questioned a little sternly, her hands on her hips.

        “…Yes…” Andrew hissed through his teeth reluctantly.

        “Alright. I’ll be right back.” She smiled, walking out of the room.

        A few minutes later she came in rolling a wheelchair and a security guard. 

        “Careful with him now.” She instructed to the guard. 

        The guard picked up Andrew and placed him on the wheelchair, dropping him a little carelessly and causing him to wince.

        “Oi! I said careful!” (Y/N) snapped, resisting the urge to hit the guard in the back of the head.

        “Sorry, ma’am…” the guard muttered. 

        The guard rolled Andrew out of the room and followed as (Y/N) walked around the hospital aimlessly, forgetting where the neurologic branch was.

        “Ma’am… are you lost?” the guard asked.

        “No!” she quickly declared before looking around. “I’m testing you to know if you’re paying attention.”

        “I’ve been here for five years.” He deadpanned.

        “…I have to keep your mind sharp.” She claimed weakly. “But lead the way please, since you’re so confident.” 

        She followed the guard and Andrew as they headed to the correct branch. She knocked on the staff’s door then unlocked it with her key.

        “Hello!” she smiled.

        “It’s lunch break for us. What?” one of the surgeons questioned rudely.

        “Be nice! There’s a patient.” A younger surgeon spoke, peeking from over the surgeon's shoulder. “How can we help?”

        “Andrew here has internal bleeding in his brain and we need surgery done pronto.” She ordered.

        “Lunch break~” the older surgeon sang, taking a bite out of his food.

        “Pink slip~” she sung back. “I’ll get you fired for rejecting care to a patient in need. He’s your top priority right now, so get him on that operating table.” She ordered. "Please."

        What’s with all the nurses and doctors here? Andrew thought to himself, not exactly believing the healthcare here is the safest.

        Well, that should be expected considering his old town's doctors had ads recommending euthanasia for suicidal people.

        “Fine.” They sighed.

        “I’ll be back in three hours okay? By then your surgery should be done. You listen to their instructions, okay?” she spoke, patting Andrew on the shoulder before leaving.

        I’m left with these guys? Andrew thought, watching (Y/N) leave him alone.

        While Andrew got prepped for his surgery, (Y/N) had other matters to attend to. She checked her watch.

        Rachael’s appointment is just about done and Joseph’s will be on in ten minutes. I can make it in time for Joesph. She thought, racing to the elevator and hopping in.

        She hit the second button and watched as the doors closed, waiting impatiently for them to open up. She ran out and to Doctor Ryan’s office, room 213. 

        She knocked on the door and waited a few seconds for the affirmative. 

        “Come in.” Doctor Ryan called out.

        (Y/N) opened the door and saw it was only Doctor Ryan.

        So I missed the lesson… she thought, letting out a groan.

        “I’m sorry, sir. I had to attend to patient 402.” She sighed.

        “I heard about it. Seems like you got a secret admirer.” Doctor Ryan teased as he cleaned the seats in the room with a Clorox wipe. 

        “Har har har…” She laughed sarcastically. “But I do apologize about it. I wasn’t expecting to go to him until after my shift.”

        “Yeah, I heard he has quite a temper with anyone but you.” Doctor smiled.

        “Don’t start it.” I sighed, ignoring the sudden increase of my heartbeat. “Anything planned for Joseph? Or is it a typical check-up?” 

        “After his check-up you’re going to give him a flu shot.” Doctor explained.

        “Oh… no thanks…” She smiled nervously. “I don’t do good with needles.”

        I almost puked when I had to give a shot to a test dummy back in my college test room… She thought, the memory making her queasy already.

        “You’ll do fine. Now go get him.” Doctor Ryan smiled.

        (Y/N) sighed and grabbed a clipboard and pen Doctor Ryan readied for her and walked out of the room, making her way to the waiting room. She opened the door and cleared her throat.

        “Joseph Stall?” she called out.

        A set of adults and their son stood up, walking towards her and into the hallway.

        “Hey there! Turn right and go to the scale.” She smiled politely as she closed the door being him.

        She followed them to the scale and readied her clipboard.

        “Alright, take off your shoes and step on the scale, please.” (Y/N) requested.

        Joesph complied and took off his blue crocs, standing on the scale. She wrote down his weight.

        52 pounds, in the average zone. 

        “Now step off the scale and stand up straight.” She instructed.

        Joesph fixed his posture and stood up straight in front of the wall’s ruler.

        3’9” feet, also average height for his age. She noted, writing it down. 

        “Alright. Let’s go to our room. Follow me, please.” (Y/N) spoke.

        She guided them to Doctor Ryan’s room, 214, and opened the door.

        “Hey! Come take a seat.” Doctor Ryan beamed.

        Joesph used a step stool to get up on the terribly cushioned bed and waited for the doctors instructions.

        “(Y/N), do your thing.” Doctor Ryan nodded.

        “Alrighty. Let’s start by checking your eyes.” She smiled, pulling out her mediscope.

        She got close and looked at his eyes, seeing no trouble whatsoever.

        “And your mouth. Say ‘aaaah’” She spoke, giving an example.

        “Aaaah.” Joesph voiced. 

        “And your ears.” She spoke, getting to his side and looking into them.

        Nothing. All dandy.

        “Looks good.” She smiled, putting her mediscope back into her bag.

        She grabbed a reflex hammer from Doctor Ryan’s hand and moved to Joesph’s side so she wasn’t in front of him. She gave him a gentle tap on his knee, causing his knee to kick slightly.

        “Good. Now your heart.” She gave the hammer back to the doctor and grabbed her stethoscope, bringing it to Joesph’s chest and listening to his heart.

        She stared at the clock as she waited 15 seconds and counted the beats, multiplying it by four.

        96 beats per minute. That’s in the normal range. 

        “Alright, now take a big deep breath in.” She instructed, bringing her stethoscope to his lung.

        She listened to the his inhaling and his lungs.

        “Now exhale.” She instructed, listening. “Inhale again… now exhale.” She spoke. “Alright. You’re perfectly fine. Is there any health concerns you’re worrying about?” (Y/N) questioned, looking at his parents.

        “Nope.” His mother spoke. 

        “And all we’re doing is the flu shot, correct?” she questioned.

        “Yep.” His mother agreed.

        “Great.” She smiled, resisting the urge to frown. 

        I hate hurting kids like this. She thought.

        She walked to the tray Doctor Ryan prepared for her, taking a small package and ripping out the alcohol wipe. 

        “Left or right arm?” she questioned.

        “Left.” Joesph spoke.

        “Okay…” She muttered, mentally preparing herself for the kid’s tears.

        She wiped his shoulder with the alcohol wipe and grabbed the needle, removing the safety cap and checking for any air bubbles.

        “Ready?” she questioned.

        “Yep.” The kid replied, looking at the needle.

        She stuck the needle into his shoulder and injected the vaccine by pressing down the thumb press, then pulled away. 

        “All done!” she beamed with a smile, exaggerating her voice to let the kid know he was okay.

        The kid stared blankly before nodding.

        Wow, kid took it better than I do. What a champ… She thought to herself. 

        “Spiderman or my little pony?” She questioned, grabbing a box of bandages.

        “My little pony.” The kid responded.

        “Great choice. One of my favorites.” (Y/N) smiled, opening the band-aid and lined the cotton with his small wound, gently pressing it down. “And here’s a sticker for being my star patient today!” she smiled, reaching into her bag and pulling out a pink star sticker.

        “Thank you.” The kid smiled, taking the sticker.

        “You’re free to go. Reception is on the left, they'll schedule your next appointment for you.” She directed. 

        The family walked out and (Y/N) sighed, taking the needle and reattaching the cap, placing it into the sharp objects box. 

        “See? Wasn’t so bad.” Doctor Ryan smiled.

        “I hate needles…” She sighed. 

        “Hey, do you call all your patients that? Star patient?” Doctor Ryan questioned.

        “Yeah? It makes them feel special and happy. It releases a rewarding stimulant into their brains, the pain killer.” She explained.

        “I bet patient 402 sure liked that…” Doctor Ryan snickered. 

        “Oh, we’re still on this topic, huh?” (Y/N) smiled, placing her hands on her hips.

        “I mean, you’re not changing the subject so…” Doctor Ryan laughed as she shook her head.

        “Any other patients you squeezed into today’s schedule? Or just walk-ins from a here?” (Y/N) questioned.

        “Free to do anything until we get alerted.” Doctor Ryan smiled.

        “Ah, great.” She nodded, looking down at her watch.

        It’s only been thirty minutes since I last saw Andrew. And I really hate waiting around and doing nothing, I’ll go visit Hailey. She thought to herself.

        She walked out of the room and out of the walk-in clinic, heading to the room admissions. She made it to room 433 and gently knocked on the door.

        “Come in.” A weak voice exclaimed.

        “Hey there, hails! How are you?” (Y/N) questioned, opening the door and closing it behind them for privacy.

        “Hi, Ms. (Y/N).” Hailey smiled.

        Hailey was a small girl diagnosed with leukemia at seven. It’s been three years now since diagnosed and at the moment she’s in stage 3. (Y/N) finds it heartbreaking to watch the blonde girl’s appearance diminishing; her eyes sinking in, her hair growing wire-like and withered, her skin and cheekbones pale and sullen, and her arms and legs losing fat. Her appearance isn’t the only thing fading away, but her hope of surviving it too.

        “Would you like some water? It’s still cold.” She offered, already reaching into her bag.

        “Yes, please. I’m quite thirsty.” She smiled weakly.

        (Y/N) nodded and twisted open the bottle’s cap, bringing the drink to the girls lips. Hailey took small sips before raising her arm slightly, signaling no more. (Y/N) moved the bottle, twisting the cap back on weakly so Hailey could open it later.

        “Are you hungry too?” she questioned.

        “Not at the moment.” Hailey answered.

        “I’ll leave these here for later.” (Y/N) spoke, reaching into her bag and placing down a bag of pretzels on Hailey’s nightstand.

        “How do you feel?” (Y/N) questioned.

        Right now it wasn’t a normal survey (interrogation) she would give other patients, it was two friends catching up.

        “Better than I can be.” Hailey smiled.

        Even though Hailey was ten, she knew very well she was dying. It didn’t scare her as much as she thought it would. Her parents slowly stopped visiting less and less, too brokenhearted at their daughter’s rapid-approaching fate. The only visitors she got now was from her check-up nurses and (Y/N). 

        “Hey, I got you some new books. You liked that last one, yeah?” (Y/N) smiled, pulling out a book from her bag.

        “I enjoyed the ending. I liked Charlie’s bravery and courage.” Hailey commented.

        “I figured you would. She reminds me of you. Resilient and strong.” (Y/N) smiled, handing her a new book.

        “Aw… thanks.” Hailey blushed, the red in her face from the compliment looked as if it could be her normal skin tone, accepting the new book.

        “This book is about a library where all the different possibilities in your life that you could’ve had by making a choice, gets played out for you. I figured you’d like it since it’s fantasy.” She smiled.

        “Thank you.” Hailey smiled, looking fondly at the cover.

        “I’ll leave you to read the first few chapters. Want a sticker before I leave?” she questioned, already knowing the answer.

        “Yes, please.” Hailey nodded.

        (Y/N) reached into her bag and looked for a green star, finding one and handing it to Hailey to add to her growing collection that laid on her nightstand. 

        “Make sure to ring the button if you need anything. I’ll see you later, hails.” (Y/N) beamed, walking away from her.

        She opened Hailey’s door and walked out, closing it behind her. She looked at her watch, seeing it’s been an hour since she left Andrew.

        Two more. She thought to herself. Man, time seems slow today…

        (Y/N) sighed and stood there for a second, deciding what to do.

        I’ll go back to the walk-in clinic. She decided.

        She turned and walked away from Hailey’s room, she’ll return in a few hours to see how Hailey likes the book. She opened the two doors leading to the clinic, making her way to the back rooms and finding Doctor Ryan.

        “Oh, just when I was about to call you.” Doctor Ryan smiled.

        “Is there a problem?” she questioned.

        “You remember how to stitch, right?” he smiled.

        “Stitch wounds… yes…” She sighed, sucking in a breath to put her happy face on.

        “Come on, let’s get this done.” Doctor smiled, leading her to his office.

        (Y/N) walked in and took note of the situation, seeing a distressed boy a bloodied towel that was applying pressure to his forearm.

        “Hey, bud. I’m (Y/N). What’s your name?” she questioned, keeping the kid company as Doctor Ryan prepared a tray of tools for (Y/N) that she needed.

        “Cody.” The little blond boy rasped out, small tears in his eyes.

        “What happened to you?” she spoke calmly so the kid can copy her tone.

        “He had a fishin' accident with me. Got the hook hooked into ‘is skin and he ripped it out while preppin' for tomorrow.” The father sighed with his accent, covering his eyes with his cowboy hat to hide his shame.

        “No worries, accidents happen.” She smiled.

        “I really should’ve been watchin’ though.” The cowboy huffed.

        “C’mere dad, you can hold his hand.” (Y/N) encouraged.

        The cowboy sighed and stood up from his seat, walking over and holding his son’s left hand, his uninjured one.

        “Are you left-handed or right-handed?” she questioned, accepting the tray of supplies and placing it next to Cody.

        “Right.” The kid spoke.

        “Well, you might have to learn how to write with your left hand after this. But that’s okay, all the kids in school will think you’re so cool, along with the scar you’ll get too if you get one.” She smiled, gently removing the towel and placing it to the side.

        The kid has a nasty chunk of flesh ripped out of him from the hook. Either the dad or Cody panicked and ripped the hook out. Well, it's sure leave a scar.

        She looked at Cody’s elbow and felt for a vein. She found one and held her thumb on it, grabbing a syringe of lidocaine from the tray and popping the cap, checking for any air bubbles.

        “Look at dad.” (Y/N) instructed. 

        Once Cody looked away, (Y/N) removed her thumb from the vein and replaced it with the syringe’s needle instead, injecting the pain killer.

        Now we have to wait a few minutes, she thought.

        “Do you play any sports?” (Y/N) questioned, grabbing alcohol wipes to remove the bacteria from the fishing hook’s nasty ends.

        “I play football with my brothers.” Cody explained.

        “This’ll hurt real quick.” She warned. “And how many brothers do you have?” she questioned, wiping off the excess blood and grime, resisting the urge to cringe as Cody hissed and held tightly onto his father’s hand.

        “Three.” Cody answered.

        “Are you the oldest, youngest, or middle?” she questioned, wiping inside the wound a little to be extra certain it wouldn’t get infected.

        “Youngest.” Cody answered.

        “Do you go to school or are you home-schooled?” she questioned, grabbing her medical needle and thread and tying the thread inside of the needle’s hole.

        “I go to public school.” Cody responded.

        “Feel any pain in your arm? Or has it gone down?” (Y/N) questioned, looking at Cody’s face.

        “Gone down.” Cody answered.

        “Good. I’m going to start sewing up your wound, I want you to talk to me or your dad while doing it.” She explained. “You ready?”

        “Yeah.” Cody sighed.

        “Do you get good grades?” (Y/N) questioned, pinching the skin together and sewing up the skin and fat, deciding to go for buried sutures to get the job done.

        “Yeah.” Cody nodded.

        “Do you like school?” she questioned.

        “It’s okay.” Cody spoke, shrugging his head to the left since he couldn’t with his arms.

        “I didn’t like school much either.” (Y/N) admitted. “I didn’t like waking up early. I’m glad I work at night now.” 

        The cowboy redirected his attention from Cody and looked down at her and smiled.

        “Where I grew up, we had a farm and got up at 4 o’ clock to work on it. I was homeschooled in the south.” He explained.

        “You have more strength than me, getting up so early.” (Y/N) joked. “You too, Cody. I dislike needles. Whenever I have to get a shot, I cry like a baby.” 

        “Trust me, she does. I gave her one for her practice.” Doctor Ryan teased.

        “You’re in school?” the cowboy questioned.

        “Yup. That man is my superior teaching me the ropes.” (Y/N) explained, referring to Doctor Ryan who sat back and watched the procedure carefully to make sure she was doing it right.

        “I wanted to go to college but my family couldn’t afford it. Hopefully it’s a different story for Cody.” The cowboy smiled, ruffling his son’s hair. 

        “Especially with all the programs now for the youth, gives the younger generation a better chance for college.” (Y/N) pointed out. “Is there anything you want to be when you grow up? Like a professional football player or a doctor?” she questioned, shifting her tone so Cody knew she was talking to him since she couldn’t look away from her stitching work.

        “Construction worker!” Cody declared.

        “Ooo, are you going to build tall buildings?” (Y/N) questioned, entertaining the boy and keeping him busy. 

        “Yeah.” Cody replied.

        He didn’t seem like crying anymore, the painkillers help shoo off the pain, for now at least. She thought.

        "And... ta dah! You're all done, Cody!" (Y/N) beamed. 

        "Woah! It looks so cool!" Cody smiled.

        "Let's get some bandages on that, so it doesn't get infected. In two or three days, you can take the bandages off. In ten days, come back here and we'll check and see if the stitches can be removed.” (Y/N) explained. “Does that sound good?” she questioned, redirecting her attention to her superior.

        “Perfect, perfect! As per usual!” Doctor Ryan smiled.

        “Thanks!” (Y/N) smiled, flattered at the praise. “Now, what color star would you like?” 

        “Blue.” Cody smiled.

        “Here ya go!” she hummed, grabbing the stickers from her bag and pulling out a blue star, handing it to Cody.

        “See ya in ten days, lil lady.” The cowboy smiled, titling his hat before holding his son’s hand.

        “See ya! Reception is on the left. Make sure to be careful!” (Y/N) waved.

        “Ahem!” Doctor Ryan coughed into his hand over-exaggeratedly. 

        “Yes?” (Y/N) questioned, confused on if she did something wrong,

        “I don’t think patient 402 would be happy with all that flirting going on.” The doctor teased playfully. "You were awfully talkative with the dad."

        “Woah now. He has kids and is like 30, I’m too young to settle down like that. There was no flirting, only polite talk.” She explained.

        "Sure thing, lil lady." Doctor Ryan chuckled, earning an unamused glare.

        She ignored him, checking her watch, catching his attention.

        “Oh, your shift isn’t near over.” The doctor laughed.        

        “No, I wanted to see how long until I had to go see Andrew.” (Y/N) explained, waiting for Doctor Ryan’s teasing remarks.

        “I see. How scandalous.” He chuckled.

        “Hardy har har har.” (Y/N) laughed sarcastically. “I have an hour and thirty minutes left. But everything feels like it’s taking so long.” She sighed.

        “Here, why don’t you do a run around the hospital? It’s lunch time. You can bring the lunch trays to all the patients!” Doctor Ryan suggested.

        “That’s a good idea. Have someone radio in and call off all the lunch ladies to serve lunch, I’ll do it all myself.” She nodded, smiling.

        “I meant this branch. The whole hospital is a little excessive.” Doctor Ryan deadpanned.

        “No, no. I got this. Besides, I need my steps in.” She spoke. “See ya later!” she waved, taking off.

The second chapter for this is done! This series will also be posted on AO3 and Wattpad!

Want more Andrew Graves content? Check out the Andrew Graves masterlist!

Inbox is OPENfor questions about the story and new plotlines/ideas, not for request!

Chapters: Chapter 1, current chapter, Chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9 (in the works)

Want to listen to music while reading? Check out the Star Patient's Official Playlists! Multiple different playlists and genres!

[starlyx0]

so I have noticed some people think Ben is boring (trust me I’ve seen it)

so I am here to talk about everything ben and try to explain his character!

This won’t be the best character analysis

as English is not my first language and I'm trying to bring more attention to stuff that's not talked about often.

So I'm going to split this into 6 categories to try to make writing this easier for me so bare with me.

Things I’ll go over!

personality 

looks 

hobbies

past & current 

relationship with family 

relationship with friends

This is going to have a bunch of stuff that are headcanons I'm only including them to show ppl if u can put some thought into it u can get some reasonable ones.

1 | personality

I see a lot of ppl reduce his character to only music and being mute? which really upsets me because he soo so much more,

but making his entire personality music makes me so mad

most headcanons I see are all the same PLEASE I AM TIRED of hearing what kind of songs he listens to that or all ship headcanons titled as Bens 

he's a shy awkward guy we all know that cuz he really just stands in a corner awkwardly scratching his neck most times and he also doesn’t like horror or anything scary (eps 11) 

hes a protective older brother not overly like Tyler where hes more protective of Tay from other people ben is more chill going and more afraid of what life throws at Lily, there’s not much here cuz more points I have fit in the other categories :)

2 | looks 

he looks kinda of basic nobody can deny that so I won't, but because of his past I imagine he would have a bunch of scars ik he doesn’t and that’s a bummer cuz I really wish he had 🥲

After he lost his voice he became super facially expressive but also really good at hiding his emotions so it’s either really easy to read him or really hard no in between. also because of his past bullying, I assume it affected him and the way he presents himself that why he sticks to basic outfits and look,

overall trying not to bring attention to himself even after therapy he stuck to his habit but if someone gave him a little push and helped him he would drop it and start putting thought into his looks,

saw this somewhere I don’t remember where they said he would have curly hair as a kid but his mom didn’t know how to take care of it so they ended up shaving it and i think curly or wavy haired Ben would be so cute also he would look amazing with an eyebrow piercing %100 and uhh I genuinely don’t remember him smiling genuinely in canon so i imagine his with a downturned smile I may be wrong about that idk

3 | hobbies

did I make this a separate category just to talk about him being an artist? yes I absolutely did 🙂↕️

I fear most people forgot about it n honestly and that is criminal 

there is not much said about it in canon but I’ll work with what I have,

he probably didn’t have much artistic skills when he was younger and only started doing it as a distraction and a way to calm down n he probably made himself draw

I feel like red projected onto him in that ifykyk😭

but from the picture Ben draws based on things that happen so he diff draws a bunch of random things he sees and thinks its cool, he would draw everything and everyone and I feel his art style would be more realistic tbh

but Ben also plays guitar, plays piano 

, fight, used to sing, and the medic of the group like what else he do?? he is literally perfect what more can I say here but most of these are not really hobbies but skills he had to learn for the sake of his life 

4 | Past & current 

I’ll talk more here about how his past affects him currently,

I love to think he has a fear of fires because of the fire that burned down his house more of a headcanon tbh

see the pan he burned in that official art? it took him half an hour in his room to calm down his heartbeat and gathering around the campfire is the opposite of relaxing for him

probably hates turtlenecks with his being 

and I want to talk about his voice as that affects him the most what really bothers me about the fandom is that a lot of people ignore the fact that he probably will never speak. 

I see plenty of ppl benlor shippers say 

“he would sing for —-🥺“ “he would whisper to comfort—🥺“ n it makes me wonder are we even talking about the same character???? which is absolute bullshit if he did that he is the one that’s gonna need comfort like please. he would probably never speak unless he sees someone's head gets ripped off there body.

It's said flat out in episode 27

That he has the option to speak but he doesn’t why? Because he hates his voice and if he hates his voice sm he chose to not speak for yearsss what makes u think he would speak for the sake of someone else's comfort when doing that only pains him? he is selectively mute for a reason I'm not saying he doesn’t have a voice but at least if u headcanon him to speak in the future at least let it be for his own sake instead of doing it for someone else or make it about ur ship.

5 | Relationship with family 

Starting with his parents I don’t think they are bad parents at all they tried to help him as much as they could but they couldn’t so they opened up other options and let him move away and heal even if he’s not with them I think what the did is a good choice for their situation and their relationship would still be great tbh considering the distance 

now onto Lily

I honestly can talk about them for days. I love them 

Their relationship is so sweet the way Lily is stuck to him every chance she gets and ah also used to sing to her can you imagine how she felt seeing her brother coming home later and later covered in bruises not singing to her to sleep anymore watching him sneak out 

she basically watched her brother spiral down and then leave she was probably too young to really understand what was going on fully so now she just wants to spend all the time she can with him and he tries to make up for lost time :(

now Aiden 

most people probably forgot Aiden is the closest person to Ben and the same goes the other way around.

Aiden is a life long friend of Ben’s

he literally trusts him, follows him everywhere and lets him decide for him 

they spent most of their time together since Ben moved in they live together there stuck together.

Aiden probably helped him a lot mentally helping him try new things and be more carefree

Ben also probably helped him mentally and physically patching him up and looking out for him overall,

I see some Aiden fics that are like “Oh no Ben’s gonna be so upset at me 😖” and they make him act like a nurse, not a friend and he just bandages him up then leaves as if nothing happened and someone else comes and in does all the comforting 

like I can count all the fics where Ben acts like a decent person and I'd still have more fingers up than down,

it’s so upsetting how ignored their relationship is in this fandom they deserve so much more honestly.

6 | Relationship with friends 

he is definitely the therapist friend 

He is that kind of friend that you can tell everything to him going from weird food to the worst time of your life and won't even realize it 

his friendship with Ash is very chill not the closest I'd say,

they're really just trying to keep their peace lmao

his friendship with Taylor

I imagine them as gossip girls tbh Ben being a quiet kid while Taylor is popular they definitely know some good gossip 

his friendship with Tyler is something he used to find him irritating but then he realized they have a lot in common especially when Tyler was teaching him guitar which was precise since he was the one who offered 

and his friendship with Logan 

it's really sweet Logan would try to teach him gardening while they talk about their interests

and be absolute nerds together lmao

overall the friendship between all of them is really sweet ik I didn’t give it justice here but the found family trope and the way they find comfort in each other is just everything to me

And I'm done yappin hope u enjoyed that because that was over 1,5k words 

if u have any questions feel free to ask 🫡

[oursecretways]

Deus ex machina II.

idol! Minho × reader note(s): wee~ the second part ngl i love me some soft Minho moments genre(s): fluff, slice of life, little angst word count: 526 warning(s): reader thinking badly about themselves, kinda short

master list ║ part i

he took your hand and showed no matter what everything will be just fine♡

You woke up with an empty space behind you, which made you sad: last night made you forget that he is staying home for a couple of days. You stayed in bed, stretching, not feeling like getting up; your eyelids feel heavy and puffy from last night. Still feeling that heaviness in your chest, and the gray weather didn’t help with that. While you were deep in thoughts, you didn’t hear the door opening. “Y/N, are you awake?” you looked in the direction of the voice, it was your boyfriend carrying a tray in his hands. “Good morning love, I am sorry about last night” You felt like you wanted to disappear from everything, and everyone. Lino put the tray down to your bedside table, and crawled under the blanket to cuddle you, patting your back to make you calm down and forget your dark thoughts. The two of you just stay like that, intertwined and silent, until he moves to take the tray out he brought in: breakfast he made for you with grilled cheese, and cut up some veggies next to it, for dessert he made you a fruit salad with your favorite fruits. “We need to share it though, I can’t eat all of this” you looked with your knowing all look: that he was hoping to fatten you up, although it is all futile, because both of you know that you hate eating all alone. He sighed, and started eating with you; he didn’t say a word ,but he never has to: the two of your relationship constructs of mostly silence, and glances. None of you complained about it, quite on the contrary, both of you enjoyed it… oh, to have a place to call home and just be, not needing unnecessary little talks, or trying to talk awkwardly to fill the silence. With Minho, you learned to love the quiet, the wordless nights, to not be afraid of your own thoughts so much that you couldn’t shut the hell up. So many of your relationships consisted of just useless talks, desperately trying to grasp to sound. This didn’t mean that if one of you started rambling. He loved to listen to your stories about your day or your thoughts, theories about your current shows or books. Just how you loved when he talked about the guys, new music, fan interaction, or some random stray cat he has seen and tried to stop himself from bringing it home.

God, you love this man is what you were thinking about while nibbling on your grilled cheese, not noticing how you haven’t been thinking about lowly of yourself. Instead, the positive things about your relationship or your boyfriend, which is what Lee Know exactly wanted: not single negative thoughts. He knows you don’t necessarily ponder in your own personal hell, only when you overwork yourself and start to burn out. He also knows what is the best way of solving it: feeding you, cuddling in silence then watching a show or movie you both like, and after he texted the boys that he will be busy today, he plans to do exactly that.

[jbaileyfansite]

The Wall Street Journal Interview (2024)

The 36-year-old English actor Jonathan Bailey is one of Hollywood’s newest heartthrobs. From Shonda Rhimes's Regency-era courtship dramas of “Bridgerton” to the decades-long romantic-political saga of “Fellow Travelers” to the Met Gala red carpet, he has earned admirers with his goofy charm and deep looks of longing.“

Being acknowledged as a heartthrob is incredibly flattering,” Bailey said. “It’s a big compliment, not just to you as an actor but everything around you.”

It has been a life-changing few years for Bailey, a stage actor turned screen darling. After “Bridgerton” launched him to global fame, he wrote up a document with tips to help prepare his younger castmates for the attention their on-screen romances would earn. “I think it’s about how to approach the work in a way that allows you to feel yourself and grounded,” he said.

Bailey, who’s been acting since he was a child in the Royal Shakespeare Company, reprises the role of Anthony in the third season of “Bridgerton” this month. Later this year, he’ll appear as Fiyero in the film adaptation of “Wicked” with Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo. He lives outside of London. Here, he talks about his favorite tea, doing gymnastics and the advice he got from Sir Ian McKellen.

What time do you get up on Mondays, and what’s the first thing you do after waking up?

I try to get up between 7 and 8. Then I try to not look at my phone, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. If it’s a good day, I drink loads of water, have a bath and then just get out because I need to get outside. I’ll go for a walk, always with my headphones. If I feel a bit excited or my brain’s sort of alive, I’ll listen to a podcast because that keeps me quite calm. If not, I’ll listen to some drums and bass. 

How do you like your coffee? 

I love tea. Earl Grey tea for me. I love coffee as well.

What do you do for exercise?

I’m currently training for a half marathon. Then I do gymnastics at a local gym with loads of lovely, brilliant people. I’m part of that community, which I’m very proud of. I do handstands.

How long can you hold a handstand for?

I’ve gotten up to a minute. 

Do you meditate or journal or otherwise practice mindfulness?

Walking outside is meditation to me. There was a Buddhist center I loved when I was living in London, and I’d go there regularly to learn the practice of meditation. I believe in taking bits and bobs that work for you. I do write stuff down in a book that I carry with me, lessen the load in the brain when I can. 

Do you have any hobbies or habits that might surprise your fans? 

Probably playing loud music and dancing around naked. 

“Fellow Travelers” follows your character, Tim, as he falls for Matt Bomer’s Hawk over the course of several decades, from 1950s McCarthyism to the AIDS crisis in the 1980s. How did you get into character? 

With Tim, I felt like there was so much understanding that was in my bones already just from being me. Understanding the character who you’re playing opposite is also really good. Me and Matt, we didn’t really talk about it but we had that understanding of the experience of what these queer, gay people were experiencing.

Beyond that, I think about my forefathers and what an incredible opportunity it was to an academic, hands-on research of gay life in America. As a Brit, there was so much to learn, so the preparation was kind of nerdy in that respect. In another, it was incredibly emotional and spiritual. 

You’ve become very famous for the looks of longing that you’ve perfected. Do you practice them in the mirror?

No, unfortunately, I probably practiced them in real life all the way through my childhood. It’s funny, isn’t it? I can totally understand why people say that, but I think maybe what fascinates me most about humans is there’s always a distance between what you want and what you have and who you are and who you want to be. I mean, if I’m still longing and 92 years old, then I’m going to be very happy. 

How did you prepare to model swimwear for Orlebar Brown? Was there any part of you that was nervous? 

I had been doing gymnastics, so the swimsuit-model aspect of it required a couple of weeks of doing more handstandy stuff. But no, I was excited. 

There were some cute photos of you and Ariana Grande released from the set of “Wicked.” Do you have any favorite memories from filming? 

I went to CinemaCon and it was the launch of all of us together. I watched the trailer for the first time, I’m so glad I waited to see it in the big cinema. I just watched Cynthia [Erivo] and I was, like, God, Cynthia’s just going to blow everyone’s mind. You care so much about her in it. And Ari redefines Glinda in a really fun way, it just expands. 

There’s so much love for the original material. It was really fun and silly and great. Jon M. Chu [the director] just mines the emotion and is quite sincere about the truth of what’s going on with the characters.

What’s your most prized possession?

My headphones. If I lose them, I feel crazy. But also in 2017—I saved up and it felt incredibly frivolous—I started collecting the Yves Saint Laurent love prints, the original prints of the years that my sisters were born because there are four of us. Annoying actually, one of my sisters was born in 1982, and I don’t think there is a print for that year, so I might have to do a stickman or something. 

What’s one piece of advice you’ve gotten that’s guided you? 

Always do theater. That was actually from Ian McKellen. It’s in my bones anyway.

Source

[malusokay]

Evening routine ideas 

A proper evening/night routine can not only help you reduce anxiety but can also be really fun! Here are some of my essentials for a calm evening, for you to take some inspo!! <3

Light a candle. My current favourite is 'pumpkin harvest' from Yankee! <3

Run yourself a relaxing bath. You can add a bath-bomb or rose paddles to make it even more relaxing!!

Do your skin/hair care. Remove your make-up, moisturise and maybe try some overnight hairstyles.

Charge your phone and any device you might need.

Care for your pets and tell them you love them. <3

Go for a walk and enjoy the cool evening air. Fresh air always calms me. :)

Put on a comfy pyjama and get a fuzzy blanket.

Catch up on some youtube videos or shows. I love watching video essays; my favourite channel is Mina Le!

Make yourself some herbal tea to calm down. Some good ones are Chamomile, Lemon balm, Peppermint and Lavender.

Finish your homework and tidy your desk. Staying organised, yk.

Read for a while and listen to some music. I'm currently reading 'My year of rest and relaxation'. Should I review it?

Update your diary or journal. List some things you're grateful for.

Try meditation if your day was stressful. <3

Meal prep for the morning. I recommend overnight Oats!

Plan ahead and ensure you have your alarm set so you don't stress in the morning.

Fluff your pillows and make your bed cosy, so you can sleep comfortably.

Try sleeping early so you get your 8 hours of beauty sleep.

As always, please feel free to add more suggestions in the comments! <3

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

[kazumist]

EPISODE 17 ♡ WHAT LOVE DID TO ME

HOW YOU GET THE GIRL — A SCARAMOUCHE SMAU

masterlist / prev ep / next ep / wc: 1463.

cw: drinking, alcohol, profanities, a pinch of violence (kuni punches someone and gets punched back oops?)

moving on was difficult for kunikuzushi. and he was doing well in taking the baby steps of the process. all he wanted was to drink, drink, and drink in hopes of forgetting you. but fate had other plans for him—because you were right there, with heizou of all fucking people. heizou, the guy who kunikuzushi got jealous of. heizou, the guy that kunikuzushi was worried about before.

heizou, the one who had unknowingly ticked kunikuzushi off already because he looked like him from a distance. 

kuni felt dizzy due to the lights, the loud music, and the smell of alcohol reeking around every corner (as well as the pain of seeing you with someone else). he hated it. but he had no choice but to sit back down at the table where his friends are currently and just decided to chug down the bottle of beer present at the table.

“calm down, kuni. we have all night!” lyney exclaims, taking a sip from his whiskey in hand.

“i don’t. i wanna leave already.” kuni says bitterly back at him.

“don’t be such a kj!” yanfei tells him, nudging him by the arm as she rolls her eyes at her friend. “that’s more of a kj, if you ask me," he replies again, pointing his head in your direction, where you and heizou are currently having your own fun in the conversation taking place. shock was an understatement for the group. “shit, are they…?” lyney couldn't bring himself to finish the question.

“most probably," kunikuzushi scoffs, pouring himself a drink.

“i’m sorry, kuni. but why does he kinda look like you?” lynette couldn’t believe what she was seeing. “oh no, heizou’s hair color is different. the lights just make it seem similar to kuni’s hair, but i have to agree, he does look like you from here," lyney tells her.

kazuha stayed quiet throughout the whole thing. he had witnessed kunikuzushi go through thick and thin for the person his friends were talking about. and he knew things would probably end up like this, but he didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

-

“literally who the fuck are all these people?” you asked.

“no idea, i just got invited here," heizou shrugs. watching everyone in view, you swore that he could see a familiar group amongst the crowd. you thought that your imagination was playing with you and that it would be near impossible for you to end up in the same bar of all places, but when you looked again, that’s when you finally realized it.

shit, kazuha’s here. you thought.

and where kazuha goes, kunikuzushi follows.

fucking shit.

you haven’t seen him. not yet, at least. but you prayed that you’d never bump into him. you wanted to give kunikuzushi space, but what are the fucking odds for you to end up at the same bar?

“oh! kazuha’s here," heizou says, his eyes now trailing your friend. that is, until you pull him away from the table and near the smoking area. “hey! where are we going? kazuha was there!” heizou whines.

“dumbass, have i mentioned that i’m literally in the same friend group as kuni, kazuha, yanfei, lynette and lyney?” you said to him, taking a deep breath to calm down. “no, but that doesn’t have to do anything with me. let’s go.” heizou whines at you again.

kunikuzushi was on the other side of the door. he doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, and he just wanted some air since the smoking area is currently unoccupied. but he just can’t help it. he wonders if he should make his presence known or if he should just stay quiet and continue on let time pass in this smoking area. he chooses to do the latter.

“no, you don’t get it, heizou! that means he’s here too," you tried to explain. “who? ahh, kuni?” it took heizou a moment to realize what you were trying to tell him. “wait, shit. okay, shoo. go away. you can’t be seen with me.”

little did they know, kuni was already leaning by the door, listening intently to your conversation.

you, on the other hand, were determined to make things right with him. it took you long enough to realize that you can’t just let him get away from your reach and that you loved him more than you thought. and you’re not gonna let anything stop you from proving yourself to kunikuzushi again.

but you had no idea on what to do. you can’t be seen with heizou, obviously, so you decided to hide.

pushing the door to the smoking area, you found kunikuzushi there.

ah, shit.

kuni, who had just realized who opened the door, was shocked to see you there. “i.. i have to go—”

“kuni, wait—” the door gets slammed in front of your face.

but you weren’t gonna give up so easily. following kuni outside, it would be easy to spot him in the crowd. after all, your mind has memorized every single detail of kunikuzushi that there is to remember.

after a while of avoiding your other friends (for now), you finally spotted kuni. but he was with someone else, a girl to be exact. deja vu, you thought. “you’re cute; i kinda like you.” the girl giggles at him, clearly drunk by the way she’s currently trying to maintain her balance in front of kunikuzushi. “leave.” he says.

“what? nooo. i like you! you’re so handsome," she whines childishly, attaching herself to kuni.

“i told you to leave. i have an ex, you know, and they can hit pretty hard," he says coldly.

the girl left him immediately upon hearing that, not wanting to possibly get hit. 

you decided not to approach kuni yet, so you sat on top of one of the bar stools at the bartender’s table. however, some guy smoothly slid beside you and offered you a drink. “hey, i’ve been looking at you for a while now, and i think you look pretty nice," he says.

“i’m not interested.” you responded to him. “why? i’m rich, i look good, and i can take care of you.” he says, getting even closer. he was being persistent, and it was starting to make you uncomfortable. “i told you i’m not interested.” you tried pushing him away, but he wouldn’t budge.

“do you not know the word ‘no’?” kunikuzushi suddenly appears behind him, pulling him away from you by his collar. 

“the fuck is your problem?” the stranger asks. 

“they clearly said that they weren’t interested. so back off. weren’t you taught basic human manners? how disappointing.” kuni spat out, his eyes narrowing at the man.

“why the fuck do you even care? you think you’re all that? how about a fig—” before the stranger could even finish the word fight, kuni already threw him a punch. and it was strong enough to almost knock the other guy out on the ground. but he wasn’t going to go down without a fight, so he also lands a hit on kunikuzushi’s cheek. people were slowly starting to gather to see the commotion.

“kuni, enough! let’s just go.” you told him. you didn’t want this to grow into a bigger issue. upon hearing your voice, kuni lets go of the guy and lets him fall to the ground. kuni gave the guy one last kick to the shin before he left the area with you.

kunikuzushi leads you to the smoking area once again, and you don’t know if you were trembling out of anxiety or out of shock from what just happened. kuni had his head low, letting the adrenaline die out before he lifts his head up.

but you didn’t expect him to look at you with tears threatening to spill. “are you okay?” his voice breaks when he asked you that.

“i should be the one asking you that.”

“i am if you are," he says, forcing a smile—the same smile that he’d only ever give to you.

“don’t do that to yourself, kuni.” you reached for his hand but he flinched. he flinched.

“i… i wanted to ask you something," you say.

“okay.”

“are you tired? from me? from us?” it pained you to finally pop the question, but it had to be done.

he leans back, looking above for a moment before looking at you again. “i’m getting tired,” he says, letting out a weak chuckle. self pity. “i lost from the start anyway," he sniffles, still fighting back from letting the tears flow.

“but why did you still continue?”

“well, i wanted you to see.” kuni stands up. “see what?” you followed him. 

“what love did to me.” he said, opening the door.

“and just how much power you actually had over me," the door shuts.

extra notes.

it gets better in the next ep i swear

taglist (open): @yinyinggie @blue-b3rries @ryuryuryuyurboat @your-local-reblogging-kazoo @lilikags @haliyamori @diorlumx @mamafly @zuunotsane @iloveosamuu @featuredtofu @kana-de @xiaoderrrr @f1orent1ne @alhaitie @yelleloww @brain-r0tt @jamieexistss @danfelions @e0nssadrift @lovemari @kunikissr @chluuvr @lazy-sanns @lxkeeeee @swivy123 @sketcheeee @quacking-simp @tiredslepz @vxcmx @kichiy0shi @yingofthemoon @feiherp @sicut-sol @mayuumine @xiaosoneandonly @xtobefreex @bananasquash @im-the-ruler-here @hiraethhv @yumiaur @oughhhhmamamia @beriiov @cindywasneverhere @klanxii @fangygf @draclula @aromaticism @shotosjupiter @lyzisbitchingagain @lovelykrystal @riraaya @aether-darling @kochothehoe [1/2]

[melissaeilishortega]

It's alright love

A/N so this is the one-shot that isn't finished should I continue it?

Summary: Reader and Billie have been dating for a while, the time has come for y/n to meet her family properly. Reader is very shy and stressed about it. Just a small cute thing :)

A/n: this is my first time writing a fanfic since my Danganronpa phase so 💀 also not spelled checked cause I ain't spell checking that. Also...it's Blondie but with our time iykwim like it's 2023 but it's Blondie cause Blondie 😍😍😍😍😍

The original request was very shy!reader but I feel like I did more very anxious!Reader so...

•

•

•

Y/N POV:

It was three in the afternoon, I was resting my head on Billie's chest, cuddling and pressing soft kisses from time to time while listening to soft music. We were going to her parents house in a few hours and it's all I could think about. Billie and I have been dating for quite a few months but I've never got to know her family properly, I've always been too stressed and shy to ask anything or even talk to any of them.

"Are you okay love? You seem distracted." I hear Billie's soft voice say.

I've always struggled with my shyness. It was honestly a true miracle I started talking with Billie, she just makes me so...comfortable?

"Love?" She repeats.

I lift up my head looking straight in her eyes. How could someone have such beautiful eyes? How could someone be this beautiful to start with?

"Is it about the dinner with my family?" She whispers softly.

"I'm sorry bils, I don't know if I can." I answer, my anxiety is taking over even if I don't want it to.

"it's alright love, it's gonna be all good. Why are you so stressed?" She asks me. I can feel some sort of concern and confusion in her voice.

I sigh before admitting the truth. "I'm scared I'll embarrass myself because I'm too shy."

Billie giggles softly before putting one of her hands through my hair.

"Y/n look at me. I'm a literal copy of my brother but in different fonts and my parents are the sweetest and most caring people ever. You can't go wrong with them. Plus you've already seen them! Look, I'll always be next to you and you can hold my hand and squeeze it as much as you want or need. Deal?"

I smile softly at her words. I'm so glad I went to her party, I always wonder what would've happened if I never texted her happy birthday.

"deal."

•

It was currently 5:47 and we were turning into the street. I was doing good ignoring my stress. Billie had her right hand on my thigh (I'm Canadian idk in what way yall drive in California) and I was simply resting with my eyes closed, listening to the sound of the rain mixed with the sound of Dragon's engine and Shark breathing very very loudly in my ears. Everything was going better until Billie turned in the driveway. The anxiety of embarrassing myself started settling in again I could tell Billie noticed since she started pressing down softly on my leg to try to calm my leg bouncing which had became more severe.

"want me to hold you?" Billie said before we got out of the car.

I nodded before pushing the door open. Billie ran to me with the umbrella, shark running behind her and I couldn't help but laugh at their cuteness. I felt her arms snake around my waist before feeling her soft lips kissing my shoulder. We walked up to the front door and Billie softly knocked on the door before opening it. She made me get in and shook the water off the umbrella before putting it down to hug her mom. Walking in here felt like walking in your grandparents house for brunch on a Saturday morning, all warm and cozy. When Billie pulls away, Maggie turns to face me before offering me a hug which I hesitantly but gladly take. I now know where Billie gets her hugs from.

"It's good seeing you again sweetie." Maggie says before pulling away from the hug.

"Uhm it's nice seeing you guys again too." I say quietly, looking at the floor. Shit. That sounded mean. At this point I'm holding Billie's hand so hard. The specific thing

I feel Billie's arms go around my waist again before kissing my shoulder again. We could hear Patrick, Finneas and Claudia having a chat in the living room. We could also hear Peaches and Shark playing together. (Does anyone knows Billie's other foster puppy's name?)

"wanna drop our stuff in my room and then join everyone?" Billie whispers in my ears.

"uh yeah, yeah." I say quietly, I just wanna disappear at this point.

I follow Billie to her room, I watch as she closes the door. She sits down on her bed before indicating me to sit down next to her. I sit down and I feel her hand on my thigh. I look at her smiling.

"it's okay to be shy babe." She says looking at me with a serious look on her face.

"they know you're shy honey. Look I'm gonna be with you the whole time, you can go chat with them once you've gotten more comfortable. It's alright love."

[salty-croissants]

Reader who performs in musicals x Bullfrog, Rayman and Ramon (all separate) please? Thank you! Have a good day/evening/night!

Thank you for the request ! 

This one was really neat and fun to write :D

Hope this turned out okay !

Details : use of gender neutral reader ;

established relationships ; 

no warnings needed 

Bullfrog 💚

When you first told him that you were a musical performer , Bullfrog was absolutely amazed by it … no matter what role you actually play , for him it’s like you’re the most talented person in the whole world . 

< Oh my dear , c'est incroyable ! I can’t wait to get to see you perform one day ! >

< Aw , thanks love , but are you sure that wouldn’t be dangerous for you ? You know , with your job and many people around someone could recognize you and … I wouldn’t want you to get hurt because of me … > 

< I’m going to be careful don’t you worry , I’ll do anything I can to be there : it’s not just any musical if you’re in it mon amour ~ > 

Yeah , Bullfrog really meant what he said : 

you can often spot him hidden somewhere in the room when you’re on stage , staring at you with those loving eyes that never fail to make you blush …

He’s just so cute , and the fact that he would go to such lengths just to be there to support you makes you all giddy inside … as well as a bit worried for his safety , but you try your best not to think about it too much .

When the performance is done and you get to go backstage to your private room to take a moment to breathe and relax , you already know that you only need to count to three before you hear a knock on the door and find a very enthusiastic Bullfrog on the other side …

< Thank you for coming , sweetheart ! So … what did you think ? > 

< I think you did wonderfully , y/n : I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you during your song , c'était si beau ! >

< Really ? I was honestly afraid I didn’t hit some of the high notes right … god , you wouldn’t believe how anxious that made me the second the song ended , and plus - >

Bullfrog can’t help but smile as he listens to you talk , holding your hand while walking back home …

You’re just so passionate , it’s something that makes you even more beautiful in his eyes if that’s even possible . 

Your songs often get stuck in his head , so it’s not rare to hear Bullfrog humming them to himself while showering you with affection when you’re together , but sometimes also during missions :

it helps him to remain calm , reminding himself that he has you by his side and that he has to stay alive to get back to you …

Bullfrog’s life really wouldn’t be the same without you in it . 

Rayman 🧡

One of Rayman’s favorite things to do is just sit and listen to you preparing for your current musical’s role , closing his eyes and focusing on your beautiful voice …

You’re always happy to have him there , especially since if you get easily self conscious about something his help will definitely help .

< Man … this sucks , it’s been days and I still can’t get that part right … the performance is ruined , how am I going to - > 

< Hey , hey … slow down y/n , take a deep breath …

There’s plenty of time before the performance , you just gotta keep trying and most importantly not push yourself too hard . > 

< *sigh* … yeah , you’re right … thanks Ray , sorry about that . >

< You don’t need to apologize honey … here , how about we take a break ? 

You’ve been working on it for hours now , I think you’ve earned it . > 

Even tough the Directors are constantly monitoring him , you can bet that Rayman will do everything he can to be there the day of the performance , and whenever you see him cheering for you among the crowd it always fills you with joy … 

He’s just so sweet , you can’t help but love him even more in those occasions ://) 

Rayman actually has lots of recordings of you singing , that way he can listen to them whenever you’re away and he misses you … 

Oh , and you can be sure that he will gush about you to literally everyone , because they all need to know just how wonderful and talented you are . 

< Ahh , you should’ve seen it … 

The way their eyes were shining while singing on that stage was simply magical !

Isn’t my y/n just amazing ? > 

< Mhm … 

Mister Rayman , can I leave now ? It’s been one whole hour … I’m just a janitor , remember ? > 

Since he does have quite a nice singing voice himself , you and Rayman definitely love to sing duets together , sometimes even dancing in the middle of the living room while the sun sets outside the lounge …

It’s a beautiful , precious moment for the both of you , ones that you will carry in your hearts forever .

Ramon 🖤

Okay , so now that he murdered the Directors and officially became wanted by Eden , Ramon knows that it’s not safe for him to show himself in public anymore … 

However , since you still need to perform in your musicals he can’t help but feel very torn about the whole situation , especially since he’s way more protective of you after all that’s happened . 

< I’m telling you sweetie , I’m going to be just fine ! It’s only a few hours … > 

< But I have to … I need to make sure nobody hurts you . > 

< Ram , I won’t have you risking your life to watch over me . We’ve talked about this . > 

< I can’t lose you , y/n … > 

< You won’t … I promise . 

I’ll be back before you even notice . > 

Remember those recordings of your performances he made when he was still regarded as the Voice of Eden ? 

Well , Ramon definitely listens to them a lot more now to try and keep his head distracted from thinking about what dangers could take you away from him when you’re gone .

It’s not a rare occurrence for you to arrive home and find Ramon asleep with one of the recordings playing in the background , and it’s during those moments that you fully realize that you really are the only thing keeping him together .

Whenever he happens to have a nightmare ( let me tell you , it happens often … this poor man is just so scarred by what he saw and what he did ) , Ramon is really going to appreciate it if you decide to sing him to sleep :

he just holds you tight , all the tension in his body finally leaving him thanks to your voice and your gentle touch caressing his hair …

< Mmm … y/n … > 

< I’m here , darling … I’m right here … >

< I love you so much , y/n … > 

< I love you too Ramon … there , just close your eyes , you should really try to sleep some more . > 

< Mmkay … > 

Sometimes when you’re having a bit of a rough day , Ramon is going surprise you by suddenly hold your hands and start slow dancing with you , singing your favorite duet … 

It’s one of the only moments in which all of his troubles seem so , so far away , leaving just you and him in the comfort of your home , being happy in a place were no one can hurt either of you … not Eden , nor anybody else . 

[pokemenlovingmen]

Could I request some headcannons of the ScarVi boys with an agender s/o who struggles a lot with dissociation and stuff? Like maybe how they’d comfort them. Preferably it/its and nym/nyms pronouns please. I personally don’t like being seen as super human due to how often I dissociate if that gives any ideas for writing.

Hello~ so sorry for how long this took. Life has been. A lot. I don't know how much use of pronouns I'll have since I generally write in the second person but I'll do my best! I also have issues with dissociation, but not a lot, so I hope I represent things as best as I can for you. I know everyone's dissocciation manifests differently as well as what helps, some folks need to be put into a lot of activity while others need isolation for a bit, at least from my experience, so I just want to represent all I can. :)

Also if I left anyone out you were looking for please let me know! There's a lotta guys so I left out a few, you said "boys" so I went with the academy guys.

ScarVio Boys x Agender S/O Who Dissocciates!

Arven

🥪 - Arven is definitely a little confused when you first dissocciate around him. First he's worried it's something he did. Then he's worried you're sick or something. So he doesn't handle it super well the first time it happens. But once he realizes what's going on he falls into a rhythm.

🥪 - He's always incredibly communicative but tries to keep himself from grilling you with questions. He handles things with a fair bit of caution as he gradually gets a feel of what dissocciating looks like for you and what you need.

🥪 - Arven always has your back when it comes to your needs. He makes sure you're well-fed and hydrated. If you can't bring yourself to cook for yourself, of course he's going to be doing it for you. (And speaking from personal experience god wouldn't that be the best)

🥪 - Mabosstiff is always hanging out with you too. Sometimes Arven will help guide your hands through the Pokemon's long, coarse fur as a grounding device. Or if you need a lot of sensory input to help, he can also totally just let Mabosstiff jump on you and lick you half to death.

🥪 - He gets restless when there's not something he can do for you at all times and he needs to take time to learn sometimes the best thing he can do to help is just sit with you in silence. Though, occasionally, he'll ask if you'd feel better if he talks. He'd talk for hours if it meant helping bring you down to Earth.

Giacomo

🔈 - Music is one of the best grounding tools and you can bet your ass Giacomo is using every last bit of his musical knowledge and gear to help you.

🔈 - He gets you your own pair of custom headphones, whatever kind you want, one of those types that have noise cancelling you can switch on and off if you're dissocciating for reasons of being overwhelmed.

🔈 - He puts together all the very playlists of all your favorite songs, organized by vibe ofc.

🔈 - And if you need it he'd be happy to share an earbud with you if you need the one-on-one connection of listening to music together.

🔈 - If you're in a public space he's also very swift and on the spot with getting you somewhere calm to decompress.

🔈 - He doesn't really have many words for you, but he'll squeeze your hand and remind you with gentle touches that you're here, and so is he.

Atticus

🧵 - If talking helps guide you through dissocciation, he's probably the one for you. You ask, and he'll just sit next to you and wax poetry for hours. It can help if you're someone who just needs words or conversation, it doesn't matter what the content is.

🧵 - If what you need is a quiet place to come back down to earth he'll whisk you to the very best right away. He has some good spots he finds ideal for meditation that he finds would be ideal.

🧵 - Atticus has lots of little one-on-one activities he offers to do with you. He'll paint your nails, let you try things on or model for him, even just hold up a sleeve of one of his current projects for him to stitch.

🧵 - Or if you need him to just sit next to you in silence, he can do that too. Or if you need him completely gone he'll leave you alone for as long as you need. I think Atticus understands better than most what you might need and to be patient with you, and he never takes your distance personally if it needs to happen.

🧵 - He can also put together some kind of garment like a sweater or hoodie that's sensory-friendly and he will take every last one in your preferences into account. Colors, weight, length, especially material, if you ever make a request expect it to be followed to a T.

🧵 - No matter what it is, if there's one thing you can be sure of it's that Atticus will be patient.

[afyrian]

ch. 3 - september 16 masterlist

    you wake up to the smell of something cooking on the stove. bacon is clearly one of the most noticeable ones; however, something else in the air brings you out of bed and towards the kitchen. everything seems so quiet as the hallway and adjoining rooms are empty. however, the sight of rintarō standing in the kitchen with an apron on is anything but that.

  a pair of earbuds are in and his eyes are focused on a pancake that is currently on the stove. most of the space is cleaned up already, a stack of pancakes on a plate next to him. bacon and eggs share a platter nearby. even a bowl of fruit sit next to them, de-stemmed and ready for breakfast. you bite your lip, holding back a giddy smile that very eagerly wants to push through.

  "hello!" you exclaim, waiting for him to turn around.

  however, he stands there silent, still flipping pancakes and listening to whatever music is playing through his earbuds. you take a few steps towards him, the music playing lightly into the open air. it’s a sweet song, romantic one at that. for a moment, you kind of want to head back to your room, leave him in his element. but at the same time, you want the pancakes fresh. you take in a deep breath and tap his shoulder. 

  “holy shit! oh my god, you scared me half to death,” rintarō turns around, nearly jumping from his skin. 

  you laugh wholeheartedly, watching as he rests his hands on his hips, shaking his head. “oh you are so gonna pay for that!” he reaches into what can only be the container of flour and throws it at you. 

  the handful of flour coats from your chin to your shorts, some even landing on your socks. your mouth hangs open in surprise as your eyebrows furrow quickly. a slight laugh escapes your mouth, one that is short and completely sarcastic. “you ass!” you reach in as well, tossing some flour onto his face, some of it landing on his apron.

  his head tilts slightly, eyebrow raises, and his hands quickly rest on his hips. his face is almost completely covered, leaving a terrifying expression hiding under the flour. “i would continue this, but i’d rather not get more flour on me,” rin sighs, a little bit of flour flying from his mouth.

  “you’re right, but i’m totally willing to continue this!” you grab a little bit more and throw it only on his apron.

  for a second, he seemed rather calm, until he started counting down from three. your mouth stretches into an awkward smile, feet moving quicker than you can think to the back bedrooms. you can hear him chase you into his bedroom; however, you choose not to look behind you out of slight fear.

  much to your dismay, his volleyball training has made him rather quick. he knocks the two of you onto his bead, flour flying all over the room. you lay on your back next to him and start laughing, watching as the sun rays show the particles flying through the air. he joins in, a laugh that sounds almost confused. 

  “your room looks awful now…”

  “which is why you’re gonna help clean up,” rin sits up, leaning over you slightly, most of the flour now gone from his face. 

  you reach up and use your hand to wipe off some of the remaining flour from his face, “i guess that’s fair, but you didn’t have to come in here with all of that flour you’re wearing.”

  “oh yeah, i didn’t? you kind of did continue a fight that i offered to finished,” he smiles at your touch, looking down at your face glowing from the sun.

  rintarō has always loved how you look under the morning sun. any time he makes breakfast or the two of you go on some road trip, he always take a chance to look at you under the morning sun. every imperfection that you so adamantly complain about, becomes invisible to him, as if they’ve never existed. 

  and for a moment, the world stands still aside you. your gaze meets his eyes and you take in a deep breath. maybe, just a part of you, wants him to kiss you. to bring his hand up to your face and hold you, kissing you tenderly. the heat rising to your face even agrees.

  however, the moment doesn’t last long as the fire alarm starts going off. “i left a pancake on the stove, shit!” he gets up, taking one last look at you before running off towards the kitchen.

  you sit up, biting your lip. you want to curse the pancake for ruining a moment that will probably open up a range of emotions. however, the smell of the kitchen before all of this happening was too heavenly to be cursed.

a/n: i lowkey love this chapter

[soft-bugs]

Stress Relief/Calming Distraction/etc. Ideas for Regressors (based on my own experiences and things I've learned from others)

-- FIRST AND FOREMOST,

• Take some deep breaths. I know that's like listening to a broken record and obvs doesn't work for everyone, but it's worth a try!

• Drink some water and put some comfy clothes on and/or wrap your favorite blankie around yourself!

• Put on some soft lighting, if available. Especially if you're overstimulated!

• If you gotta/wanna bodily/vocally stim, DO IT!!! I also like to use stim toys and touch/hug soft things like a blanket, stuffie or pillow.

• If you have a pet, give 'em a cuddle or some pets! (a stuffie is also very comforting!) Or if you have one that can't/doesn't like to be handled/touched, you can just sit and watch them move around (feeding them if needed, can also be fun to watch!) (I love watching my fish swim around/eat sometimes 😹)

• If you're feeling anxious; dip your face in a bowl of cold/ice water, eat something sour or spicy like Warheads sour spray, Sour Patch Kids, Takis or jalapeños, hold something cold like an ice pack against your chest/stomach, try to relax your jaw and shoulders, use stim toys/stress balls

• If you're feeling angry; you can crumple/tear up pieces of paper or an old notebook. Writing down your feelings and/or scribbling rapidly before doing this is good too! You can also punch a pillow or anything soft enough to where you won't hurt yourself. Ik it can be wasteful, but snapping wooden pencils into lil bits was very therapeutic for me for a while! If you happen to have balloons for whatever reason, you can tie one to a rubber band(/string?) and bounce it against your fist like onea these babies:

• From the one above, write out your feelings! Even if it's just "I am feeling _ because _". If you have a hard time finding the words, here's some cool emotion wheels I like to use!:

• If you are on your period, take some painkillers (Midol is a lifesaver!), try to avoid caffeine & nicotine if you smoke, use a heating pad/heated blanket if available, take a hot bath or shower, if possible exercise/walking or certain stretches can help with cramping, and I'm gonna be completely honest here free-bl33ding on the toilet just helps sometimes idk 😂

-- NEXT, DISTRACTIONS:

• If possible, go for a walk or ride your bike around the block!

• If possible, try to talk to/call or text someone you trust, like a friend or family member. You can talk about anything, it doesn't have to be about what's causing your stress/anxiety/etc.

• Watch TV, YouTube, stim GIFs/videos, etc. Whatever helps you relax or laugh!

• Play a calming video game (I like to play Slime Rancher, Animal Crossing, Cooking Mama, Night In The Woods, Webkinz and No Man's Sky on creative mode!)

• Be creative! Even if you think you're "bad" at it bc it doesn't matter if it looks "pretty," you don't have to show anyone or post it anywhere. All that matters is if it makes you feel better! Drawing/doodling and coloring have always been a very great emotional outlet for me! Other fun stuff you could do: Splatter/abstract paint, make a collage or start a scrapbook, make a DIY craft with stuff around your house, SCRIBBLE!!, play around with an instrument or music program/app, design a character on Picrew or some sort of character creator, print out/make paper dolls and their clothes, stickerbomb something, film a music video featuring ur pets/stuffies/toys!

• Continuing the creativity one, make a mood/stim/agere board for yourself, an OC, your fave/comfort characters(s), etc.!

• Do word/number puzzles like word searches, crossword puzzles, sudoku, acrostic puzzles, cryptograms, framework/fill-in puzzles, etc.

• If you like making lists (like me), write out a list! (Ideas: Your comfort characters/movies/shows, your favorite board/video games, favorite places or cool places you've been, interesting animals, favorite bands/musical artists, current favorite songs, etc.)

• If you're like me, you can play some music and write down your favorite lyrics from each song that plays! (And doodle/scribble around the paper borders in between hehe) And/or make a playlist! Maybe make a playlist of songs that make you feel better in that moment, so you can look for it whenever ur stressed/upset!

• If possible, take a hot bath (you can add bubbles, bath bombs and/or toys!) Or a quick shower. Oh, and speaking of, I have a tip for people who struggle with brushing your teeth/remembering to do so! Try brushing your teeth when you shower!

These aren't the only things I do/know about, just ones I can remember at the moment, and they may not all work for everyone of course, but hopefully this is helpful to someone. 🥺 Feel free to add more in the replies/tags/reblogs!

[starry-nights-garden]

✧ P1Harmony Jongseob x gn!reader ✧ words: ~600 ✧ genre: fluff ✧ warnings: (mentions of reader blushing) ✧ prompt: nose kisses

Watching Jongseob drag around little rectangles in different colors on the screen of his laptop leaves you fascinated and somewhat mesmerized. You know he’s working on some music, but you have yet to figure out how the program he’s using works. From your understanding, the boxes he’s currently moving around are all audio files - whether they’re instrumental or contain his voice you don’t know. And there isn’t really a way for you to tell either, because he’s the one wearing his big headphones, sometimes bobbing his head along to the music he made, other times lying still in bed while tweaking some effects or whatever other magic he may be doing on his computer. Originally you were both hiding under his blanket, wanting to stay up a little longer - in Jongseob’s case to compose, in yours to read. But soon enough his music stole all your attention away from the book you had planned to finish tonight, and ironically you couldn’t even hear it. 

It takes the boy a while to notice your intrigued gaze, but when he does, a bright smile immediately forms on his face.

“I thought you were reading?” he teases you and pulls down the headphones.

“Me too,” you chuckle in response and mimic his amused expression. 

“Wanna listen?” he asks, catching you out of the blue. You’re not sure how to react for a moment.

“I- but I thought you’re not done- is it really okay?” you stammer, and with mellow eyes he nods.

“Of course it’s okay,” he assures, lowering his voice a bit in hopes of taking the indecisiveness away from you. “It’s not done yet, but I think the first verse is okay for now. So if you want…?” He holds out the headphones to you, and you put them on. As soon as he presses the play button, you can hear a rather calm melody, made with a lot of soft synthesizer sounds, and once you hear his voice coming from the track you’re surprised by the way his rap here has a lot less impact than usually. Instead, it sounds rather comforting, and so do the lyrics. You nod along with the beat without realizing it, and once the audio stops and you take off the headphones, you notice the nervous smile Jongseob is wearing now.

“It’s good,” you say. “Like really good. It made me feel comforted.” You state your honest opinion, knowing that that’s what would help him the most. A sigh escapes him.

“I’m glad. Do you think I can keep the melody like that?” You’re surprised that he would ask you such a question, since you don’t really know a lot about music in theory.

“I think so, yes. But why are you asking me? I don’t have a clue about composing and all of that stuff.” He laughs softly, before leaning in to make his lips meet the tip of your nose. You only realize what just happened once it’s already over, and it leaves you wide-eyed and blushing.

“Because I still value your opinion,” the boy next to you states. When you look at his face more closely, you can see a blush dusted onto his cheeks as well. You feel honored, however more than anything, there’s warmth spreading in your chest. The sensation of his soft lips placing a kiss onto the tip of your nose still very much present in your mind, you lean your head against his shoulder.

“Then keep going like this. I really like how it sounds.”