#currently hungover and STARVING

[kjack89]

New Year's Day

For @impetusofadream, who was the winner of my auction for the @bishopmyrielfundraiser! As promised, I matched the donation from the auction with a donation of my own to First Defense Legal Aid in Chicago.

The prompt for this fic was touch starved with holidays mixed in, and I could not resist the temptation to go with the holiday we're currently in. @impetusofadream, I hope you enjoy, and I especially hope that you have a fabulous 2024!

There were, Enjolras thought as he let himself into the Musain relatively early in the morning on January 1, two types of people in the world who were given keys to their most-frequented bars. He, of course, fell in the first camp, that being those the proprietors trusted to lock up when their meetings ran unusually long.

The other was more—

“Grantaire?” Enjolras said, surprised, when he saw Grantaire slumped on a bar stool.

Well, it wasn’t the first time Grantaire had just spent the night rather than stumble home. And given everything, Enjolras highly doubted it would be the last.

Still, it would inevitably make his job that morning that much more difficult, and he sighed, about to go wake the man and force him out when Grantaire straightened, giving Enjolras a surprisingly sober smile. “Happy New Year,” he said, standing up from the bar stool without so much as a wobble.

Enjolras blinked. “You’re not drunk.”

“And your powers of observation remain unparalleled,” Grantaire said, stretching.

Enjolras couldn’t help but watch as the hem of Grantaire’s shirt crept up as he stretched, revealing a taut strip of skin that he wanted to— He tore his eyes away, clearing his throat. “Sorry, I just assumed you slept here, which you normally only do when you are deeply inebriated.”

Grantaire considered it for a moment and shrugged. “Fair point. But no, I did not sleep here last night.”

“Then why are you here?” Enjolras asked, curious, finally shrugging out of his jacket and setting it over the back of a chair.

“Well, I know you volunteered to clean up this morning after last night’s party, and I just thought—” He broke off, a frown creasing his forehead as Enjolras shivered. “You’re shivering.”

“Evidently your powers of observation are just as good as mine,” Enjolras muttered, rubbing his arms.

Grantaire’s frown deepened as he glanced at the red jacket Enjolras had been wearing. “Where’s your winter coat?”

“What are you, my mother?” Enjolras snarked, though it was somewhat undercut by his teeth chattering, just slightly. “I didn’t know it was going to get this cold, or snow. Or that the heat in this place is so abysmal.”

Grantaire rolled his eyes. “Ok, that latter one you definitely should have,” he huffed before holding his arms out. “Come here.”

Enjolras hesitated. “Why?” he asked warily.

Grantaire just gave him a look. “Just get your ass over here.”

Enjolras hesitated for only a moment more before crossing to him. Grantaire immediately wrapped him in a hug, pulling him close against his chest. It felt— Well, if Enjolras was being honest with himself, it felt absolutely heavenly. Grantaire always ran warm, but it was never more apparent than in that moment. Enjolras felt almost like he’d been embraced by a mini-furnace, especially as Grantaire rubbed his arms, his touch surprisingly gentle.

Enjolras’s eyelids fluttered closed as he tipped his head forward to rest it against Grantaire’s shoulder. “Thanks,” he said, his voice slightly muffled. “This is helping.”

“Wearing proper outwear would probably help more,” Grantaire told him, but judging by his voice, he was smiling, just a little.

“Yeah, but who needs outwear when I have you,” Enjolras mumbled. “Though this probably isn’t helping your hangover.”

Grantaire laughed lightly, his chest rumbling against Enjolras’s. “It’s a good thing I’m holding on to you, because this one might knock you over: I’m not hungover.”

Enjolras pulled back just far enough to frown at him. “Really?”

“Always with the tone of surprise,” Grantaire said dryly. “But yes, really. I decided to take myself home early last night.” He shrugged, his hands slowing, mostly just resting against Enjolras’s arms at this point. “Irish goodbyed and got home long before the ball dropped, so plenty of time to sleep it off.”

“But why did you leave so early?” Enjolras asked.

Grantaire started to answer but then seemed to realize that they were still holding onto each other and cleared his throat, taking a step backward. Enjolras didn’t quite whimper at the loss of heat, but it was pretty close. Grantaire shoved his hands in his pockets, not making eye contact. “How about I make coffee?” he suggested. “That’ll warm us both up.”

“Oh,” Enjolras said. “Sure. Good idea. And I’ll just go, uh…”

“See how much damage our friends managed to cause?” Grantaire supplied, giving Enjolras a small but genuine smile. “Imagine if the owners decided to kick us out after all these years. They might actually get taken off of the various FBI watchlists they’ve ended up on.”

“Marius is pretty sure that the ‘providing material aid to terrorists’ charges would never stick anyway,” Enjolras said blithely, and Grantaire laughed.

“Then we definitely need to do a thorough job of cleaning.”

Enjolras nodded and headed to the backroom, mentally preparing for the chaos he would inevitably find. It’s not that their friends were purposefully destructive, except for when they needed to be, of course, but a little alcohol and a lot of exuberance – ok, a lot of alcohol and somehow even more exuberance – meant that accidents happened. Like spilling a variety of drinks, missing the garbage can when throwing things out, and so on.

Enjolras pushed the door open and stood staring at the carnage for a long moment. 

It wasn’t the worst he’d ever seen.

But that wasn’t saying much.

He took a deep, steadying breath and got to work.

He had planned to put on a podcast or something while cleaning, but with Grantaire there, he felt weird about it, so just cleaned in silence with no company but his own thoughts, which also wouldn’t normally bother him, save for the fact that his thoughts kept straying back to Grantaire, and how warm he had been, and how amazing that had felt.

Shaking his head to clear it, Enjolras grabbed the stack of red solo cups Bahorel and Feuilly had been using for beer pong and stuffed them into the garbage bag with more force than was necessary. But even when trying not to think about Grantaire hugging him, he couldn’t stop himself from wondering why Grantaire’s would’ve left early.

Enjolras’s usual excuses for ducking out early were needing to get an early start the next day, or being tired from having an early start that day, but he knew Grantaire, and he knew that Grantaire had never let either of those stop him.

He frowned down at an empty pizza box and jumped when he heard someone clear his throat. “Sorry,” Grantaire said, holding two steaming mugs. “Was trying not to startle you and obviously didn’t succeed.”

“It’s fine,” Enjolras said, a little too quickly. 

Grantaire just looked like he was trying not to laugh. “Well, bad news on the coffee front – couldn’t find any, but I did find hot chocolate.”

He held a coffee mug out to Enjolras, who quickly accepted it, wrapping his hands around the warm mug. “Hot chocolate is perfect,” he said, closing his eyes as he took a sip. 

When he opened his eyes again, Grantaire was looking at him with an odd, unreadable expression, and Enjolras frowned. “Problem?”

“More than we have any hope of delving into here and now,” Grantaire said with a forced sort of cheer. “Why don’t I take over trash duty and you can start on wiping down tables and sweeping?”

Enjolras took another sip of hot chocolate. “Works for me.”

They settled into a comfortable sort of silence as they worked, and it only Grantaire taking two trips out to the dumpster in the alleyway for Enjolras to realize that he volunteered for trash duty to save Enjolras from having to brave the cold again.

Somehow, that made him feel warmer than either the hug or the hot chocolate.

As did the fact that they worked well together. That wasn’t exactly a secret, of course, even if Enjolras preferred not to dwell on it too much. But they had always made a good team, at least when both parties were willing to put in the effort, each man making up for the other’s weaknesses. And evidently that extended to cleaning up after a New Year’s Eve party, and Enjolras definitely tried not to think about what other areas of their lives that it might extend to.

Well, he tried. Just not very successfully.

But his reverie was broken by what sounded like a stifled snicker, and Enjolras frowned at Grantaire. “What?” he asked, preemptively defensive.

“Nothing,” Grantaire said quickly. Too quickly.

Enjolras’s eyes narrowed. “Liar.”

Grantaire wet his bottom lip with his tongue, not able to stop his smirk. “It’s just, uh, you’re holding the broom kind of weird.”

Enjolras looked from Grantaire down to the broom and back to Grantaire again, affronted. “How the hell else am I supposed to hold it?”

“Like you grew up having to actually do chores instead of having a housekeeper to do it,” Grantaire said, saccharine sweet.

Enjolras glowered at him, more mad about not having a comeback to that than anything, especially since countering that he had a live-in au pair, not a housekeeper, was not likely to score him the points he needed to recover.

Instead, he settled for holding the broom out towards Grantaire. “Fine,” he snapped, “Clearly you should do it, if you’re so good at it.”

Grantaire’s smirk widened. “Ok.”

But instead of taking it, Grantaire stepped behind Enjolras, as close as they had been when hugging, reaching around him to carefully reposition Enjolras’s hands into what he clearly deemed the correct position on the broom. “See,” he said, his voice low in Enjolras’s ear. “It’s not exactly rocket science, is it.”

Enjolras would have been irritated by the fact that it was in fact easier to sweep when holding the broom like this, but he was distinctly more occupied by the warmth of Grantaire, pressed against his back, and the fact that Grantaire’s hands were still resting on top of his.

It was a strange but perfect moment.

And Enjolras promptly ruined it.

He turned to face Grantaire, realized that this put their faces about an inch apart, and tried to take a step backwards, only to stumble over a chair he could’ve sworn was not there before he turned around. Grantaire reached out automatically to steady him, his smile fading. “Are you ok?” Grantaire asked. “Don’t tell me you need me to teach you how to mop next.”

But Enjolras didn’t laugh, or even just roll his eyes. Instead, he asked, “Why did you leave early?”

Grantaire looked momentarily confused before his expression evened out. “Oh, it was nothing,” he said dismissively, but he couldn’t quite meet Enjolras’s eyes as he said it. “I was tired, and—”

“Why did you really leave early?” Enjolras interrupted.

Grantaire’s eyes darted to Enjolras’s and away again, and he shrugged. “I didn’t want to start 2024 the same way I started 2023. And 2022. And 2021. And—”

“I get the picture,” Enjolras interrupted. He hesitated before asking, “The same way, how?”

Again Grantaire just shrugged. “Wanting something I can’t have.”

Enjolras was suddenly aware of Grantaire’s hand still gripping his arm where he’d caught him before falling, and the touch felt even more scalding hot than the cocoa had. 

A scalding hot reminder that he was playing with fire.

But Enjolras was also tired of this, of ringing in a new year with the same thing lingering between them that neither man seemed willing to take the final step to address. And maybe, given everything else happening in the world, it would be worth it even if 2024 was the year he finally got burned.

“Who says you can’t have it?” he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper, and Grantaire just shook his head.

“Enjolras—”

But Enjolras had already closed what little space there was between them to kiss him, a somewhat tentative and chaste press of his lips against Grantaire’s. 

He almost pulled away, but Grantaire’s grip on his arm tightened. “I see I’m going to have to teach you the proper technique for that, too,” Grantaire said, his voice low, and Enjolras immediately scowled.

“I don’t need you to teach me—”

Grantaire kissed him, a slow, heady kiss that had Enjolras’s mouth opening against his on instinct alone, and ok, maybe he had a point. He released Enjolras’s arm so that he could wrap his arm around Enjolras’s waist instead, pulling him in close. His other hand carded through Enjolras’s still-damp curls, and Enjolras’s last semi-coherent thought was to wonder if it was possible for a person to melt.

Then Grantaire licked into his mouth and Enjolras stopped having any coherent thoughts altogether.

Sometime later – it could have been minutes, or hours for all Enjolras knew – they broke apart just far enough to catch their breath, both men grinning like idiots. “What are you thinking about?” Enjolras asked as Grantaire reached down to tangle his fingers with Enjolras’s.

He lifted their joined hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to Enjolras’s knuckles before telling him, “Just that I achieved my resolution in record time.”

“What was your resolution?” Enjolras asked.

Grantaire’s grin widened. “To actually get up the courage to do that.”

Enjolras’s face softened, even though he couldn’t stop himself from saying, even as he took a step closer to Grantaire, “Is now a good time to point out that technically, I was the one who got up the courage to do that?”

“Semantics, schmantics,” Grantaire murmured, kissing him once again.

Enjolras laughed lightly against Grantaire’s lips. “Good to see some things haven’t changed.”

“Just for the better for once,” Grantaire said, his lips ghosting over Enjolras’s, and Enjolras laughed again, resting his hand on Grantaire’s chest.

“In that case,” he murmured, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of Grantaire’s mouth, “Happy New Year, Grantaire.”

“Yeah,” Grantaire said, pulling him even closer. “I think it will be.”

[chaotic-goodsir]

Thinking about Spankoffski-Cross family headcanons again, the implications of Wilbur being 10 years younger than Annie and only 9 years older than Ted, and the story behind the 'Uncle Wiley' character...

(It's gonna be sad I'm sorry)

*

In 1992, 17-year-old Wilbur Cross graduates high school early with a place on a college physics course. It doesn't start until September, but he seizes the opportunity to escape his parents as soon as possible.

That summer, Wilbur moves in with his sister Annie and her family in Hatchetfield, and agrees to help out by babysitting his 8-year-old nephew Teddy. He even brings a bunch of his old superhero comics in the hope of winning the kid's approval.

Teddy knows he has an uncle - his mom sometimes mentions her brother (she always calls him Wiley), but he's never met or spoken to him before. His grandparents down in Georgia, who he's also never met, made sure of that. He's always assumed his uncle must be a grown-up like his parents, so he's surprised when 'Uncle Wiley' turns out to be a teenager.

Naturally, the first thing Teddy asks Wilbur when he meets him is: 'Why aren't you old?'

Wilbur is slightly terrified by the prospect of looking after an 8-year-old. But after a few months helping Teddy learn how to ride a bike and listening to his nephew ramble about random kid nonsense (he ends up learning a lot about Transformers that summer) he decides it isn't so bad.

Getting to spend time with his sister and her husband isn't too bad either. Annie teaches him how to make chilli so he won't starve at college, and Ed tries to convince him to cut his hair (he doesn't).

As the summer goes on, the 'why aren't you old?' thing turns into an in-joke between Wilbur and Teddy - each adding more to the Uncle Wiley character until he becomes a pipe-smoking sailor with a beard and a silly voice (since Teddy loves doing impressions so much). Before Wilbur leaves, Teddy draws him a picture of Uncle Wiley. It's far from a work of art, but it ends up on the wall in Wilbur's room at college - much to the amusement of his roommate.

*

Thirteen years later, Ted Spankoffski is halfway through his own college course, depressed and disillusioned after losing Jenny to Andy Kilgore. He's hungover (or maybe still half-drunk) on a Saturday morning when his mom calls, almost in tears, to tell him his uncle has been declared missing in action.

That sobers him up pretty quickly.

The last time he saw his uncle alive was at Pete's christening. Wilbur asked how his first year of college was going, and seemed genuinely interested, though he was surprised Teddy chose to study IT and not theatre. They joked about the old sailor character and the impressions Teddy used to do.

(Ted never learned exactly what Wilbur did for a living, something to do with science and the military, but he was always vague about the details.)

The drawing - paper now yellowed and crumpled at the edges - returns to the Spankoffskis (along with a box of old science fiction novels and a few other things of Wilbur's that John felt ought to be sent back to his family). Ted keeps it. Sometimes, when he's not sure how to be a good big brother to Pete, he takes it out and thinks about that summer in 1992, and the teenage uncle who helped him finally learn how to ride a bike.

*

In 2019, the homeless man who currently sleeps outside Hatchetfield Mall starts to notice posters going up for some new children's toy. At first it's not the toy that interests him, but the mascot character holding it - and the toy company's name.

It's strange. He's sure he had an Uncle Wiley once - his uncle might even have been a sailor, like the one on the posters, with a pipe and a beard and a funny voice...

The homeless man decides he's going to buy one of the Wiggly dolls. It will make Petey happy. It will prove he's a good big brother, despite the mess his life and mind have become. And if it really is his Uncle Wiley selling the toys, then he should support a family business, shouldn't he? His dad always used to say the Spankoffskis were entrepreneurs.

He might even get a discount. That would be nice.

With a determined smile, the homeless man counts up all the money he has to his name, tucks it into his pocket, and joins the queue outside Toyzone on Black Friday.

[vad-hander]

LET’S KEEP IT SECRET Pt.4

pairing: Jaehyun x reader x Yuta

others: SM Rookies, multiple SM and JYP idols

genre: series | idol!au | smut | angst | fluff | slow burn | unrequited love | friends to lovers (oops) | mutual pining | teenage to adults | idol!nct, idol!reader, teenage to adults (trainee days until today)

words: 11k

side note: it's been a really long while, I hope you'll enjoy this one! p.s. good news at the end of chapter

as usual, I'll appreciate all your feedback and thoughts!

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5

-

You couldn't work out how did you wake up in your dorm room. The birthday plan was you and Jaehyun have your party at his place and if the two of you are lucky enough you’ll get back to life by noon the next day and return to dorms before outside gets dark again. 

You took a glance at your phone - the lock screen showed you barely any notifications. No messages from Yuta, not a single one from Jaehyun. You took a glance at Koeun's name on the lower part of the screen, preview letting you see it was just a meme. Your head hurt because of the drinks you had, your body hurt from what you and Yuta did and your heart hurt from what happened between you and your boyfriend and your best friend. You could still very clearly remember Jaehyun’s face when you told him you were leaving, you’re not even sure he heard what you said about Yuta, with the way his eyes became all teary when you told him you were leaving. You were sure your head mostly hurt thanks to the drama you underwent in the little amount of12 hours, including your mom’s history lesson. You wanted to get lost in the sheets, never get up and disappear completely. Somehow you remembered every bit of that - but not how you were able to leave Jaehyun on your own. At least, you were safe on the girls floor, that you knew for sure. 

You never experienced a hungover before and if people suffered so much after they had a couple of drinks you really were doubting human sanity. You moved slowly against the wall, leaning onto it for support like you starved in the woods for weeks. The water dispenser at the counter was your guiding star and the only reason you were moving your feet a little quicker than a tortoise. Reaching for the cup in a cabinet above it, you didn't bother to wait for a full cup of water, gulping on the much needed water. You refilled it like fifteen times because every time there was not more than 3 gulps of water.

"You're okay, right?" you jumped slightly in place at the voice right behind you, spilling the water over your sleeping shirt. 

"Ning?" You turned around “You’re moving around like a ghost." 

"I was here before you crawled out like a cave woman. On the couch." the girl smiled at you not being able to keep her eyes off you. You were dreading the moment you had to look in the mirror and your friends eyes for sure made you wonder even more about your current mirror reflection. "I'm surprised you're up and alive."

"Huh? Why?" You asked confused. "I can't remember anything, if I'm being honest."

"I guessed." she swallowed a giggle and pursed her lips to try and look normal. 

"What is up with your mysterious face expression?" you smiled at her confused. Did you embarrass yourself more past night? You'd prefer not to know but maybe you needed to just in case, there’s only so much shame one person can carry- "Will you not tell me?"

"I will." she laughed. "Do you by any chance remember calling Koeun?" your head gave Ning a negative answer "Koeun's phone rang at half 5 in the morning in our room. A very loud ringing, mind you. We got up because of her phone and it turned out it’s you who called her. You cried into the phone how you're messy and a problem and Koeun panicked immediately. I took the phone out of her hand to work out what was happening. I figured you were dead drunk. We tried to ask you where you were but you kept on saying you were in hell and that was the right place for you to be." NingNing spoke quickly, making it hard for you to distinguish certain words with a little accent she still had. 

"Jesus." you gulped embarrassed, this definitely was one epic way to end your SM training. 

"I almost thought you were pranking us but Koeun said you were supposed to be with Jaehyun in the evening and something must've happened to you two. I had to calm down both you on the phone and Koeun in the room. I really tried to understand your whereabouts but you were blabbering some nonsense and half of what you were saying were words I don’t understand. Koeun was literally one step away from calling the manager when a car outside honked. I heard the same sound on your side so I figured you were near the dorms. We ran out of the building and you were half laying on the sidewalk, your feet stretched out on the road. I guess the car almost drove over you that's why they honked. Anyway, we tried to pull you into the building, but that's another long story to tell."

"What? Why?" You were indeed in hell. 

"You were protesting to get on your 2 feet, you wanted to crawl, were asking us to do the same and then you started crying, like full on shedding tears. You said it was because you missed your dad and you were so happy to see Koeun. Then you started screaming at us to call Yuta." You gulped at the mention of his name. 

"Did you? Did you call him?" You tried not act like somehow the mention of your maybe ex-lover was the only part in that story you sincerely cared for.

"No, it was 5 in the morning, how do you imagine me calling him at this time." She paused to let you process her answer. NingNing always was the most mature one, every step of the way, despite the commonly bubbly personality. “What I really don't get is how you got home in one piece in that state. That's real luck right here." Ning sighed, before getting curious. "Where did you get so shit faced? With Jaehyun?"

"Have you seen Jaehyun?" If he weren't with you it was just weird how he vanished into thin air. You could obviously remember telling him you loved Yuta. You could clearly remember bursting into tears afterwards and you remember pouring more drinks for yourself while Jaehyun was processing your words, sat down on the floor. The rest though, you could not work out how Jaehyun allowed you to leave in that state. 

"No, you were alone."

"I gotta go find him." You hugged the cup to your chest, walking away. "I'm so sorry, for the night and thank you so much, you and Koeun. I'll find Koeun later. I hope you're okay with me asking you to not tell anybody about this embarrassing situation.“ 

"Yeah" the girl chuckled "No problem."

“Appreciate it.“ You smiled awkwardly and took off. 

You sprinted back into your room in a much more lively manner than you expected yourself to have. Entering the room first thing you did is reaching out to your phone to dial Jaehyun - he hung up on you after a single ring. Was he asleep, sick or just busy? It was the first time in your friendship he didn't pick up a call, you immediately opened the chat with him. 

[14:34] to Jaehyun: call me back pllsss

[14:34] to Jaehyun: where are you? 

[14:35] to Jaehyun: i can't remember shit and i'm at the dorm 

Even though the call was immediately declined Jaehyun did not read your message. Not 1 or 2 or 5 minutes later. You gulped and thought that he maybe is not feeling well too, maybe he's at the dorm by now and dying in his bed. 

You wanted to see him and more specifically you wanted to know that the two of you were good, just in case. You still didn’t know what was his reaction to you and Yuta, you couldn’t remember shit of what he possibly said or did. You jumped into the shower to wash up your hair and body. Scrub away yet the worst birthday you had in all your life, and oh boy did you have a whole darn book of terrible birthdays. 

Fresh out the shower with a water bottle in hands you transferred yourself to the boys floor. 

You doubted whether you should knock or open the door with the code both Yuta and Jaehyun told you. You opted for knocking, hearing too many stories prior  of the boys walking around almost naked. As your knuckles made three rhythmical bangs on the surface, you tried to hear what was happening behind that door. The room seemed silent, maybe, they were all out, maybe you should type in that code. You knocked once again, when the lock made a sound and the handle turned and you saw it finally open. 

"I-" you started to explain yourself, that you needed to see Jaehyun and you're very much sorry to whoever it was at the door but stopped yourself after the first sound. Of all people on the floor it had to be Yuta. He worked out your presence around the same time, dropping the door handle and immediately walking away. Your first instinct was to follow behind and you did so, noticing how when the door to his room opened his roommate was sitting on the bed and you stopped. You didn't find it in you to walk in and interrupt. Mainly because you didn't have time to prepare a single thing to tell him. 

You knocked on a door once again, when you knew for sure it was to Jaehyun’s room. 

"Jaehyun?" you murmured into the door. "Are you here?" The dorm was surprisingly dead tonight, you could hear silence behind the door, same for the rest of the area surrounding it. Total emptiness and quietness scared you a little, like everyone disappeared because something happen. Did something happen to Jaehyun? The thought sent chills down your spine and you gripped onto the bottle like it was your anchor. You stood under the door a little longer, ready to fall on the floor as fear, tiredness and hungover fought through your body. "Guess you're not here, right? I hope you're okay and home, then." You sighed and still didn't move. Dialling his phone once more only to end up with the same lack of answer.  

Yuta appeared in the hall once again and your head turned in that direction, still pressing your forehead against Jaehyun’s door. 

"No one's in there." he said coldly as his eyes briefly looked at you. 

"Did he come home yesterday?"

"I'm not his secretary." you gave him a nod, he was right. It was painful to hear him talk to you in that tone though. You swallowed to not cry and paced away back to the exit. 

“Even if you aren’t, maybe you heard anything from him? I can’t reach him, I can’t remember how I left him and if he’s okay.“ You pleaded one last time. You couldn’t go on with your life like it was okay when your best friend was possibly missing. 

“I. Don’t. Know.“ Yuta grumbled annoyed. Did he not understand you were worried for his friends well being? Did he not care? 

“Fine.“ You sighed in return and turned on your heels to leave. ”Actually, no. Can I say a little something, before I leave?” you mustered some courage, purposefully vaguely defining leaving, because both leaving the floor and the dorm and company were more than relevant for your situation. 

”Whatever.” Yuta snorted and opened the fridge. Good, him hiding behind that fridge made it easier for you to speak your truth. 

”If you want to break up with me, then fine, I’ll accept that, you don’t have to worry. Just go ahead and do it now, in my face, while we still have the chance to see each other like that. I’ll be the one to say last words, though, since you’re acting like that. Maybe-, no. I was wrong for not sharing the news earlier, you have every right to be mad at me for this, I accept I was stupid for not saying I’m going to train under a different company now, but you know what? You will not make me feel ashamed for wanting to have a future. You will never understand, because you weren’t in the same situation, you can't possibly understand how it feels to not get into the final line up for the group you trained so hard for. You cannot blame me for taking the opportunity I was given. I am not sorry for that, I am not going to beg for forgiveness because of my decision. I will only say sorry for keeping it a secret for too long. I couldn’t find the right time to tell you, and you all always either away or very busy and every time I thought I had a chance to share it would always be irrelevant to the context. Because I couldn’t reply at your words with hey, by the way I’m leaving. I shouldn’t have delayed the announcement to all of you. And…” you wiped the tear off your cheek. ”And you’re a total fool! Because you were saying all those things about fighting and working on our relationship and the moment you get the chance to prove that you are ready to fight through hardships you run away! Like a real fool! But you know what, I don’t regret anything. I really don’t. Want to know why? Because we would’ve broken up anyway once you debuted, once you moved out as a member of that group! You wouldn’t try to fight then either, but it would be YOU to blame! You!” You ended up with an accusation, you didn’t plan to tell him that. But it only felt right - the conclusion came to you the very right moment you were saying it. What would be the difference? He’d still let go of you, if he acts like this now. It’s only better to end it earlier, before you get too deep and hurt too much. Like It weren’t too late by now. You tried hard not to think of your intimacy yesterday, it would literally make you bawl your eyes out.

”Will you shut up for a second?” Yuta sighed tiredly. 

”What?”you expected an answer - you didn’t expect him to be so unhinged. 

“I wasn’t trying to break up with you. I just need time, okay?“ He peeked from behind the fridge. Not a single muscle on his face unveiled to you what he was feeling. You couldn’t understand if you should feel relieved with his answer, for some reason it didn’t make you feel anything. “You can go and continue with your dream, I’ll let you know when I’m through with the fact you won’t be around much.“ 

“Yuta-.“ You sighed. While he was trying to process the news he was wasting your precious time to spend together. You still didn’t know what your schedule would be like at your new agency. You didn’t even know who you’d live with, who you’d train with. It was all so nerve-racking and you needed someone’s support, you needed Yuta’s support and he wasn’t able to give you that. You felt hurt, too. 

“No, Jaehyun didn’t come back here. He’s probably at home. You can go.“ he stared right at you and you nodded, turning back to the door.

“I’m leaving tomorrow. By midday my dad will come help to move everything to the other place. If you want to, you can come see me any time before that. I’ll be in my room packing.“ you paused before the door, expecting at least a sigh so you’d know he was considering, but Yuta kept the silence painfully loud.

-

[15:43] To Jaehyun:  why is the line dead on your side?

[15:46] To Jaehyun:  are you okay?

[15:52] To Jaehyun: I’m worried 

[16:01] To Jaehyun: I consider calling your parents if you won’t reply

You dropped more messages to Jaehyun as he was missing, still. It felt horrible, you couldn’t stop worrying if his silence is him giving you a cold shoulder, silent treatment and everything he could do to show you he didn’t want to deal with you anymore. You never imagined the downfall of your relationship before because it seemed like it could never happen, but here you were, experiencing very much that. You couldn’t pack, you were overanalysing and overthinking and mostly hyperventilating, making it hard for you to focus on packing. No matter how hard you tried to remember what the two of you were doing after your confession - you couldn’t. You couldn’t even remember if Jaehyun agreed to revel his part of the secret to you. Yesterday you had a boyfriend and a best friend and today you were left with nothing and you didn’t even leave the company yet, you had very real doubts now if the decision you made was right. Did you make the right choice? What if it was better for you to stay at the company - in the comfort of people you loved, continue working to reach your dream within your current company. You suddenly remembered Jaehyun’s words, when he tried to cheer you up. What if they’re planning to make a BoA of our generation out of you? What if they were and you blew it out the window now? You were ready to shed tears, sitting in the middle of your room with the suitcase half still half empty. Thankfully, you were interrupted, your phone rang and without a look you knew who it was. One single calm breath on the other side of the call and a flower inside your chest bloomed.

“You scared me so badly.“ you half-whispered into the phone.

“I-, ugh, I’m just sleeping at home. I’m sorry, I didn’t see.“ Jaehyun’s voice sounded funny. Like a morning voice mixed with a sore throat and something else you couldn’t describe. 

“You’re all good?“ You had to hear it  from him ,that he was completely fine. 

“Yes, just sleeping.“ Jaehyun seemed off. Did he seem off to you because you felt off or because there was something wrong between you two too, but he was kind enough to call to calm you down. Would it be okay if you’d ask him straight or should you give him space and time to come up with explanation of his own?

“If you’re not asking me why I’m not right next to you, I guess you know when and how I left?“ Your patience was wearing out, you had to ask him straight.

“I do.“ Well its good to know, you almost said out loud. 

“Can you enlighten be please? Girls found me next to the dorm alone, dead drunk and I can’t remember anything at all.“ 

“Ugh, you just wanted to go back to your bed.“ Jaehyun cleared his throat, but it didn’t make him sound any better than before. “And I couldn’t stop you, so you got in a taxi and left.“ It’s not really the explanation you were expecting. You didn’t know what you expected either, but whatever it was, it felt a little not it. 

“Did we fight? You sound upset. I’m so sorry if I said or did something wrong.“ You murmured apologetically into the phone. “I can’t remember shit but I love you.“

“How much do you not remember?“ He was curious now and sounded more lively.

“Like when I told you…ugh.“ It felt so fucking awkward to say it out loud now, when things felt so differently. “When I told you about the company and about Yu-Yuta.“ You stuttered for no reason. It felt new to talk about Yuta in such way to anyone, but moreover it felt sickening because you couldn’t work out how could it change to this uncertainty so quickly. “When I poured myself more after that, I blanked out. I don’t even remember if you repeated what was your secret.“ 

“Well you remember pretty much all the important parts.“ Jaehyun’s words sounded like his mouth was tucked into the pillow. 

“I don’t remember what you think of all this and that’s the most important part.“ you stated angsty. “Your secret is obviously the most important, my nosy self really wants to remember what you told me yesterday.“ You chuckled, in case it would make him feel better.

“Well…“ Jaehyun’s breath hitched and he didn’t need to use words to let you know he was upset with your departure. “I am going to miss you terribly. So frea-, so fucking much.“ he found it important to slip in the profanity. No word could ever describe what he felt inside. 

“You know my new dorm is not far from this one.“ you tried to hold on to the string of positivity that held you from breaking down.

“Even if it would be in the building next to this, everything is going to change.“ his voice didn’t reflect anything but regret and pain. You felt a hot tear roll down your cheek, you were just so upset with the way it hurt him, you didn’t want Jaehyun to hurt. “I’m scared of those changes.“ He admitted vulnerably in a whisper.

“I’m so sorry.“ You sobbed.

“What? No-, don’t cry. Everything’s for the best, don’t cry, please, I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me, since you don’t remember anything I had to tell you yesterday. It doesn’t mean I’m not proud of you. I’m so happy for you if this is what’s going to bring you to your dream.“ He really put in effort to change the manner of the way he spoke and his cheeriness only made you sicker. 

“I will miss you too. More than anyone.“ the line went quiet. You could hear his steady heavy breaths and Jaehyun could probably hear your little sniffs. You really tried to calm down, but now you couldn’t, not before you’ll get a chance to hug him. “When are you coming back home?“ You asked knowing way too well that Jaehyun never felt that way about the dorm when all it took for him to get back home a short ride on the bus. 

“Ugh, I need to get up first, and then clean the house and when I’m done with all that I’m having dinner with my parents and only then I’ll get back.“ It sounded like he read his chores off to do list. 

“Do you want me to come help clean?“  You had to ask, you never had the intention to leave him one on one with the mess.

“No, it’s fine.“ Of course he protested.

“I feel horrible, I made you upset and now won’t even help to clean up the mess mostly I made.“ Your fingers caught still falling teardrops that burned the skin of your cheeks. You felt like a giant bubble of nerves that was about to burst. 

“It’s fine, it was your birthday, you’re still allowed to be the princess the next day. I’ll message you once I’m back at the dorm. If you’re not with Yuta for the rest of your time with us, I’ll be glad to see you.“ You wanted to protest at his silly comment but the sound died somewhere in your throat on the second syllable. Before you could master up courage to say anything else Jaehyun hung up on you.

-

Your eyes ran once again over the walls and the ceiling of the room you got used to calling your home. Now that your weak attempt at mood board sort of display above your bed was packed in one of the boxes, the room looked very depressing. Just white walls, all furniture pieces opened wide to make sure nothing was left behind. Koeun weeped behind you and you quickly got yourself together, turning to see the girl.

“It’s fine.“ your attempt at calming her down was so weak it made you feel pathetic and on the verge of crying too. You didn’t want to bawl your eyes out, you had less than 2 hours before meeting your new family, you had to keep yourself together and be presentable for the sake of good first impression. You were thinking like your mom because her nagging was finally suitable for the situation.

“I will really miss you.“ Lami mumbled shyly, tucking her face in your chest as you pulled her in a hug. Koeun reached for you too and now you had two girls crying their eyes out into your body. It was almost impossible for you not to join them.

“I’m here! I’m here!“ Your mood for tears was ruined by Ningning, who by the sound of the main door locking, just got back to the dorm. “I’m here, I made it in time!“ She announced happily, but stopped dead on her tracks confused a moment later. “Oh god, what is this? Ugly crier competition?“ she giggled and pouted straight after. “Y’all stop crying I have practice today, I can’t cry!“ She whined, sinking in the mood completely. 

“Then don’t cry.“ You laughed and sniffled, trying to get rid of incoming tears. 

“I am not.“ Ningning reached for your hugging group, her head resting against Lami’s nape. “We prepared a little gift for you. Just a little something to remember us by. Some boys took part in this but I couldn’t find them, so we’ll just gift our gift on behalf of everyone.“

“You all really didn’t have to.“ you protested, trying to see what Ning referred to. 

“Sh, you didn’t even see yet what it is.“ The girl waved you off. 

“Okay.“ you gave in and girls let go of you, allowing for Ning to reach a small gift bag your way. You quickly took it from here, looking inside. Your fingers ran over the object that somewhat felt like a book, so you fished it out of the bag curious and confused. 

“It’s a photo album of our memories together.“ Ning commented. “Guys helped to arranged things appropriately for your entire time-being here, before I arrived too.“ 

“Since day one.“ Koeun nodded, all 3 sets of eyes staring at you expectantly, while you couldn’t move. Your fingers froze over the photo that was glued onto the cover of the photo album. Your first group photo with all your fellow trainees. Many people in that photo already left the company, some were real idols by now and part of your friend group weren’t even training back when that photo was taken. Your eyes could only focus on you and Jaehyun standing right next to each other, both with faces full of ambition and hope, just happy to finally be one step closer to your dream. Back then you would’ve never guessed how badly it’d hurt you, moving on and leaving him here. Back then you would’ve never guessed that you could have a bond like that with someone. But back then you would’ve also never guessed that you’ll be cut you from the final line up and you would’ve definitely never guessed you’d feel so heart-broken and left out. 

“Oh my god.“ Ningning sobbed, as her eyes trailed down the wet stain on your cheek. “I’m crying now too, and you didn’t even see our gift properly. There’s more in the bag.“

“Am I going to make you upset, if I’ll look at everything later? I can’t cry right now.“ Your fingers reached to catch the teardrops.

“Sure, yes.“ Girls nodded in reassurance.

“Thank you, say thank you to everyone. I-, thanks to you I have a family. And it’s not like we won’t talk to each other after this! I just have a feeling we’ll be able to see each other all the time. Imagine, like, having waiting rooms next to each other at music shows?“ Koeun nodded, wiping her tears away. You wanted to add that having rooms next to each other wouldn’t compare to sharing one room and going on stage together, but you really didn’t want to make people cry any harder and you stopped right there. “My dad is in the car outside, I think I should go.“ besides it really being your call to leave, your dad really was in the car with all your stuff packed. 

“Right.“ They stood in a line, freeing the space for you to go. 

“Bye-bye!“ You gave them an awkward wave. “I will miss you.“

“We will miss you too.“ They waved back and you left the dorm, pausing right behind the door to take a couple of breaths. Your eyes glued to the stairs, three flights and you’ll be in front of the boys’ door. But should you? You couldn’t decide whether or not you should go and force them see you when they so obviously decided not to do so. 

Jaehyun didn’t come see you upon his return to the dorm yesterday. You weren’t sure what time he got back, but you send him a message, telling him what time you’re leaving just in case he did want to say goodbye. He was your best friend, he should want to see you, you thought. You waited and waited, but Jaehyun neither replied or come. You didn’t even have a single string of hope alive Yuta would show up, you just convinced yourself Jaehyun would be enough and now even your best friend seemed to not find it important enough to be with you. You swallowed and called for the elevator. Well, it’s not on you, if they didn’t want to come say bye - its on them, you literally send both of them an RSVP. 

You walked slowly towards the glass door that would take you outside and forever out of this building. The moment you step out - there’s no coming back, you understood it and that’s exactly why you were dragging your feet so slowly. It would make the transfer so real, it would crash it onto the realms of your very current reality with no time to get used to it. No time to adjust to the idea of not having people in this building as your family, One step further - and there’s no coming back. You could rationalise with yourself, leaving company didn’t imply you have to lose all connection with your friends, it didn’t mean you couldn’t come over for hanging out, it’s not like their phones won’t answer your calls, but it felt like both Yuta and Jaehyun put a dot on your relationships themselves. The door finally was right before your eyes, you reached for the handle and froze. That very last string you were holding on to, pulled you back. Your head snapped back to the elevators in a forceful motion, making a cracking sound with how much hope you had in that ding. Maybe you left something in your room and girls needed you to come back to pick it up? But it was even better.

Jaehyun called your name once again, walking out the elevator, when you didn’t give him any reaction in response, Yuta trailing right behind him. While your best friend stared at you affectionally, the boy behind him stared down on his shoes, tongue against his cheek. 

Your mouth opened and closed multiple times, Jaehyun taking a few steps towards you, shortening the distance between you two to an arm’s length, your eyes quickly snapping to Yuta, that stayed next to the elevator like he didn’t want to be here. Or maybe just gave you and Jaehyun space to not eavesdrop?

“Girls said you already left. I was so scared we missed you.“ Jaehyun whispered, you could barely hear him at the distance, but you could very clearly feel the aftershocks in his voice. “I figured you would want to see Yuta before leaving.“ he added on a brighter note, gesturing at Yuta behind him. Your heart hurt even worse than before. You ran up to Jaehyun and squeezed him in your hands “I love you“ you whispered into his chest. How did he always find ways to make you feel better when you felt like it rolled down to hell? 

“I already miss you. Please never stop being my best friend. Promise?“ Jaehyun whispered into your hair, his palm rubbing your back in calming motion.

“I won’t. Ever. I love you.“ You were sobbing again but with Jaehyun’s warmth against your body you had no chance to hold back or to stop. He was the closest thing to home, when the real one was far away and felt like shit. He was your first friend here, he was your very best friend in the whole wide world and maybe from time to time both of you had very real attachment issues when it came to one another, you loved him dearly. It wouldn’t be the same, you will miss frivolously coming downstairs to spend your time with him, late night walks around the dorm, lunches at the company and coffee afterwards. There were so many things that will not be impossible from now on, they would just be so difficult its painful for you to think of it.

“Love you.“ He whispered back and moved your head away to take a look at your face. It’s like he was trying to remember every feature on it, every crinkle and wrinkle, like he won’t ever see you again. “Okay, I’m going to go back to practice. We ran away from practice just to say goodbye. Will give you two some private time.“ He smiled and let go of you. You couldn’t just watch him walk away like that, you squeezed his fingers in your hold and Jaehyun turned around to see you once more. “You’ll be fine. You’re only the most talented and beautiful girl I have ever met. You have nothing to worry about there. I’m just one call away.“ Jaehyun rubbed your knuckles with his thumb, forcing your hold off his hand, pacing quickly to exit. 

“I-.“ Both you and Yuta started talking the moment the door closed behind Jaehyun. Yuta paused and you were thankful. You didn’t know how long would your dad sit in his car and wait, he could possibly walk in on you two any minute. Yuta quickly shortened the distance between you two, in that cherry chilled way with a little sway to his hips. 

“I love you, Yuta. Nothing changed for me. I don’t know how I’ll continue without you right beside me. We were just fine 2 days ago, in my room here and at home, and now I can’t even call you , because I fear being refused. I-“ You took steps closer to the boy, hooking your fingers above his elbows. Yuta’s fingers, surprisingly, caressed your cheek, asking for your eyes to move up and meet his. As you did so, Yuta laid his lips atop yours, gently kissing your mouth like you were in the comfort of either of your rooms, his fingers carefully taping the skin at the base of your neck. You kissed him back with abandon, you were trying to tell him you cared for him, loved him, that you were sad and scared and confused about everything, but your love for him. He pulled back, his fingers spreading over the base of your neck.

“Go there and make me proud.“ he whispered against your cheek. You took a peek in his eyes, he didn’t really need a reply, it was a call to action, not call to conversation. It was very much a dot in the interaction you were having. You just gave him a nod and turned around without a goodbye, your eyes focusing on the reflection in the glass door. Yuta teased the ring on his necklace. 

-

“Can you take your mask off?“ Jaehyun lowered the tone of his voice. His fingers pressing the tissue laying on the table mere centimetres from yours. You just shook your head no and continued to look at him from under your hat. “Why? I haven’t seen you in so long.“ he pleaded and his fingers finally closed off the awkward distance to yours, fidgeting them in his hold, before you hid your hand back under the table.

“You know the answer.“ you mumbled apologetically. You didn’t want to flip out that card on him again. You’ve told the same thing to him so many times you were lost yourself if it was reality or an excuse or a mixture of both and you were going literally insane. 

“I don’t, really. I just want to see my best friend’s face. We haven’t seen each other in three months. You didn’t even come to celebrate my debut.“

“I couldn’t, I wasn’t allowed to skip practice. I told you, things are much stricter here, than what we used to have. We celebrated your actual first debut with NCT U, it counts.“ You tried to give him a smile, that was completely hidden under the mask, and remind him that back in April you were still at the company with him.  

“Anyway, it doesn’t give you any reason to hide from me.“ Jaehyun tried to fight you, it seemed, before a thought flew through his brain, you could see the way thought process worked in his head. “Did they do something to your face? Like a surgery?“ He tried to peak more properly at the skin that he was allowed to see. No, they didn’t do anything to you, the mask was your shield from true emotion. 

“No, I’m not under SM anymore. JYP doesn’t really do that thing, they scout pretty people.“ You said and then realised what it sounded like. 

“Is everything okay? You seem tense.“ Jaehyun wouldn’t back down and you were glad the mask was set firmly over your face and the hat made it almost impossible to see your eyes. If he’d press a little longer he’d see you fall apart in front of him. He’d see your built up confidence faint in a puff. He’d have to hear you sob at how much you miss him, and the girls and all your friends at the dorms. Having him bring you things as a surprise every time he saw you, walking back home in those large groups of sweaty and messy teenagers, listening to wild things everyone were doing at their first schedules. You even caught yourself thinking sometimes that you might’ve missed the staffs that worked with you and that specific taste of the water that was in every practice room, the SM water that you joked so much with your friends about. At the end of the day you just missed Yuta, if you were brave enough you would’ve put him at the top of those things you missed, but you couldn’t even start thinking of him. You were going to throw up right then and there. 

“It is. I told you before, my company have all those girl trainees and is planning to run everyone through different contest shows to decide on their future girl group shortlist. I’m not participating in those.“ You started slowly out of shyness, Jaehyun though, bless his heart, formed a shocked o with his mouth and almost jumped in fear in his chair. “It’s only because they are sure about me. They know they want me to debut, they’re certain with that decision.“ Those SM roots is what can really help you be the backbone of a group, be the centre of it. That’s not your bragging, that’s literal words of heads of some departments in your new company. In the past months you had to undergo a whole lot of evaluations and most of them included JY Park, making you flabbergasted every time. Many of those evaluations went with huffing and puffing of all the attendees at how they missed out on you back when you came for audition earlier in the year you joined SM. They said many encouraging things, the type of praise that could get to your head, except for SME made sure you weren’t affected by those things ever in your life again. You were just feeling more stressed and concerned and found it hard to even sleep recently. You were so afraid they’d snatch that away from you and you had to cut everyone out of your life. Everyone included Jaehyun, who couldn’t stop blowing your phone up and you… well, you replied when it felt so fucking painful to not even read what he had to say, you were finding your fingers shake badly while typing. And the only thing that brought you into this awkwardness with the closest human being you had in the entire world was fear, that everything you dreamt of can be snatched from you if you’ll trip over your own legs. Trip metaphorically, of course. And despite the boy in front of you could never in his life bring any hurt to you, he’s a full on idol now and being around him is already considered taking a very bumpy road asking for that trip. “I’m their secret trainee. No photos, no videos, not even a single glance should be taken of me. It’s especially hard since I was an announced rookie before in SM. No one knows I transferred. After that post by SM most people assumed I quit to personal reasons or whatever. I-I can’t be seen with you, I can’t be seen in general and taking my mask off is literally asking for photos. You’re famous, Jaehyun, we can’t be just sitting here and hold hands like we’re two babies that finally reunited.“ Even though you were very much that, you couldn’t act on your wishes. And you had to really hold back because the moment he walked in this Paris Baguette all you wanted to do is hug him tightly and force his cap off his head and tease him about his hair. You were sure his sides by now grew back out but you just wanted to see it for yourself. You wanted to tease him about every performance from their debut era because yes, even though it was radio silence from you throughout that period you couldn’t physically hold back from monitoring how your friends did. In comparison to that girl group it didn’t make you feel nauseous to watch that. You wanted to ask him how he felt and if it felt different from the 7th sense promo, what was the experience like to be in a fixed unit? Was he so beyond the moon happy? You wanted to ask him so many things and tell him even more. You wanted to hold the tips of his fingers to reconnect with him on every possible level. You wanted to know so much, you couldn’t know any of it.

“Ugh, okay.“ Jaehyun hid his hand under the table as well. You stared at the twisted donut that was still untouched by either of you. The cafe was pretty empty for the morning hour, despite two other tables’ occupied by people that seemed to have an early lunch break. You could’ve taken all your armour off, but it would’ve still be a risk. And you had all this built up tension in your system from all the pressure your current situation was giving you. 

Yes, you were given the honorary title of secret trainee, you tried to carry this title with care, not because it made you proud beyond imagination - because it brought so much pressure you were anxious at all times. Even JY Park himself called you the treasure they were able to steal from SM and they wanted to treat you well, turn you into the greatest artist of your generation. But at the same time it meant being treated the strictest. While rules applied to everyone, you were watched double strictly to follow them. Going outside - only under the strictest watch of your assigned manager, who thankfully was the sweetest woman not even 10 years older than you were. You really didn’t want to go in detail how you were supposed to me at your parents house now - not hanging out with Jaehyun somewhere near central Seoul. Your manager followed the rules thoroughly, but she somehow still found it in her to be sweet and understanding to everyone, in comparison to that woman at SM that somehow still haunted you in your dreams. 

Your phone now was more of an accessory, than a device to connect with the outer world. You followed a very strict policy of no phones allowed in the practice room and you had to follow an even stricter rule of no phones allowed during academic studies, when there was no such rule in SOPA (you studied there for 4 previous years, you knew that for sure and you could see your literal classmates with their phones). And while you did go to school when you were under SM, no one cared much for it - everyone would anyway successfully graduate the school, but here, they checked on your academic score and took you everyday to school, taking care of it in equal measure to your dancing and singing skills. It was not one or two classes but a full day of academic studies filled with weird stares from other kids - everyone knew who you were, if not from their own research - other kids at school enlightened them and since the very last thing about you on the internet was your departure announcement everyone at school made weird assumptions. From you having bad skills to braking the strictest rules or being pregnant or many other weird things and sometimes even everything combined. Mostly they were wondering why the hell would you stay at SOPA if you weren’t pursuing career in art. At first kids tried to befriend you but your interactions would always end up with questions about your training years and if you knew EXO, if you ever talked to Shinee’s Taemin and so many other things regarding artist at your previous agency you had to avoid everyone at the end of the day. You couldn’t work out how all those undoubtedly talented and clearly reach kids were so weirded out by celebrities and had to make everything about it. You were so envious of Jaehyun who graduated school this year and didn’t have to go through all this. "Does all this mean you’ll debut soon?" Jaehyun sounded careful, with previous experiences he didn’t want to trigger your anxiety for no reason. He obviously could sense you didn’t say anything in that key for a reason.  

"Ugh, no." you quickly let him know it was nothing like that.

"Any certainty about it?" It felt like he was trying to ask you if it made anything certain for you with the transfer. If it made any sense for you as an artist to move companies and lose everything you previously earned. He probably didn’t even mean that, but you were eating on yourself and reading through meanings in his words that weren’t there.

"No, they just debuted a group of girls. Not happening soon." You were really fine with it, if Jaehyun could’ve seen your face, he would’ve told you were fine. You had that information when you signed the transfer papers. 

"Are you upset?" Jaehyun’s body loomed above the table, closer to you. “It’s the only reason you transferred and they’re making you wait again.“

“No.“ You said fiercely and then realised who you were talking to and absence of any reason to lie to him. “I am, but they’re taking everything so seriously. Weirdly I trust them, because they’re not saying things like ‘we’re not planning on debuting anyone in upcoming years because there’s a change of plans’. They’re saying they want a group that revolves around me an even though that’s crazy scary, I’m trying to live in that bubble and hope it won’t just burst one day.“

“It won’t.“ Jaehyun reassured you in his usual sweet manner. 

“We both know now literally anything happens in this world.“ You shrugged.

“No, you will debut, I know it.“ 

“Jaehyun.“ You rolled your eyes at him in that nagging manner that almost felt foreign now to your lips. Only now did you realise you were going to lose him if you kept yourself closed off any longer. Even Jaehyun has a limit to his sweetness and care. You couldn’t ignore how good it felt to say his name out loud, how lively you felt when he smiled at you reassuringly. “If you’re going to get all these things in my head and they won’t work out, you’ll have to get my mental health back to normal yourself.“ You chuckled.

“I know there won’t be no need in that, because you’ll debut, but in case you’ll ever need that - I’ll gladly do it.“ he gave you a nod, it didn’t take even a split second for him to process your words and agree. “I’ll always be by your side, just let me be with you. I’ll help you out of anything, promise.“ his gaze burned the twisted donut on the table, if he’d stare any more fiercely than that, you were sure he’d burn holes in it. His ears turned the brightest shade of pink as he lifted his gaze at you and quickly stared back down at the donut as he saw you look back at him. Without a second thought you returned your hand on the table, palm up and close enough to his side of the table so he’d get the intention. He didn’t need a second invitation, he simply closed your palm with his and smiled. You squeezed the tips of his fingers and it felt so fucking good to just be with him. 

“Thank you.“ You meant it with all of your heart. “I love you. As much as I did when I was leaving. I’m so sorry.“ you were clutching onto him with force now, Jaehyun returning the action. You didn’t spare a glance at each other, just holding onto your fingers and staring at the untouched food in front of you. No conversation happened between you two, just quiet comfort, you almost could make yourself believe everything returned to what it used to be. Him and you against the whole world. You didn’t want to break that comfort and Jaehyun’s fingers quietly stroked yours now, you could feel his leg lightly tap under the table to the playing song in the background. 

Thankfully, his fingers were gripping your left hand and you were free to take the untouched fork and pick up a cut up piece and bring it to your face. You felt a little embarrassed as your realised you forgot about the mask on your face, having to put the fork back down, take the mask off your face and finally get the sugary dough into your mouth. You chewed and stared out the window, watching people starting to come in in bigger masses for their lunch break. Your attention was drawn back to your connected fingers when Jaehyun suddenly felt too hot above your hand to handle. You wanted to make a joke about his sweaty fingers but couldn’t form a single word. He looked so smitten and stared right at your face. Somewhere between your nose and lips, or maybe chin…? You couldn’t work out why would he stare at your mouth. Did you have something there from the mask? Or was he… looking for traces of plastic surgery you just denied? 

“I told you no plastic surgeries.“ you giggled and as your mouth formed a smile his ears weren’t pink anymore. Just pure burgundy. 

“I-I can very much see that.“ He finally moved his eyes to yours.

“Want a twisted donut?“ You smiled once again and picked up another piece with the fork, moving it to his mouth. Jaehyun caught the fork mid way and tore it from your fingers quickly, chewing on the piece, not allowing to play the plane game with him.

“Do you know DK from Seventeen?“ You asked out of the blue, while Jaehyun took another piece in his mouth.

“Not personally, do you?“ He wondered. 

“No, but Yugyeom from my company is your age and he said he heard of you because his friend DK was in the same class with you.“

“Yeah, that’s true.“  Jaehyun nodded, not connecting the dots yet.

“I gave him your phone number.“ You didn’t want to continue tip-toeing, just say straight the info you held back. You were a little shocked Jaehyun choked on his drink and widened his eyes like that. You were expecting them already kicking it off, but it seemed they didn’t contact him, still.

“Why…?“ He cleared his mouth even though it was spotless.

“Because he said they have a friend group of idols your age. I thought you’d be happy.“ You did honestly only think of him in that moment. Jaehyun needed more friends so he’d stop messaging you. Okay, maybe you did think of yourself a little too. 

“No-, I am-, no, but like why? That’s a little weird. Are you two close? Already.“ the last word was a whisper but you picked up on it with no issue. 

“He just randomly told me this, when we were together at the company. About all his friends of the same age, I thought of you and he said everyone would be glad to have an additional member to the crew.“ Jaehyun stared confused at you. “If that’s not what you want I’m going to message him not to.“ 

“You even got his phone number?“ Jaehyun asked shocked.

“Of course, how would I message him your phone number if I didn’t?“ You smiled at the weird questionary and the weird reaction. Maybe Jaehyun needed a minute or two to process what you did. 

“Thanks, but you really shouldn’t have.“ He said flabbergasted, shaking his head a little in protest.

“Why?“ you pouted.

“Makes it look like I’m asking my friend to go around and make friends for me.“ 

“A) he doesn’t know we’re friends, so if you don’t tell them anything, they won’t ever find out. I just said we trained together. B) he literally asked for it himself. He asked how old I was and then started bragging about his friends. If you don’t like them you can just ignore them, but I’m sure you’ll love him and his friends.“

“Why? Because you do?“ Jaehyun pressed… and teased? If he wasn’t teasing you’d get real concerned with the face expression he had.

“No, I literally don’t know him like that.“ You rolled your eyes with a smirk at him. It felt so weird being teased by Jaehyun about -god forbid saying this out loud- men, you somehow connected to. 

“Have you talked to Yuta ever since?“ Yeah, talking about men you somehow connected to. How fucking painfully did it sting to hear Yuta’s name.

“Has he said anything about me?“ You swallowed excitement and curiosity in one go. Just a nonchalant question about an acquaintance. 

“No, I don’t gossip about you.“ Jaehyun stated firmly and you gave him an appreciative nod.

“I-.“ You almost said you called him once or twice and even got a text from him, saying he’s busy and will call you later. Side note, he didn’t. “I didn’t.“ You didn’t want to hurt Jaehyun, even you’d be hurt if he told you he contacted someone but didn’t try to call you. And you really didn’t try to call him. 

“So you two are done?“ Jaehyun half whispered. 

“I don’t know.“ If you had an answer, you would’ve given him just that.

“Doesn’t not being in contact means you’re done with each other?“

“I don’t know, Jaehyun.“ you grumbled, you didn’t want to think how the possibility of never kissing Yuta again was growing in wild proportions. You didn’t like it, you didn’t want it. “Maybe you can ask him and tell me, since he’s your member and friend.“ You chuckled and regretted, because Jaehyun’s eyes looked like he took your words seriously, like he’d go out and ask him. And you’d want to tell him not to, except for you don’t have it in you to stop him. Maybe you need his help, to get to the end of this story.

“If that’s what you want I will.“

-

Opening that old can of warms made you want to reach out to Yuta once again. What was he doing? What was he thinking? Surely, if Jaehyun found time to see you, Yuta would’ve been free too. You wished you could just walk back to the dorm and catch him in his room - that way he’d have no choice but look at you and talk to you. Your fingers lingered over the four letters on your screen. ‘Yuta <3’. You couldn’t make a decision to call him, you couldn’t force yourself to type out a message. At the next stop, the bus you were taking back to the dorm brakes too abruptly and you’re just thankful that you’re sat down and don’t  smash your head against the window, but what you don’t notice is in the moment of inertia push of your body your fingers pressed onto the name and now you were dialling Yuta. 

“Oh fu-.“ You gasp, ready to end the call before you’re interrupted. 

“Y/n?“ A loud chirp called you and as much as you wanted to act like you didn’t hear it - you clearly did and it was too dumb to act deaf. You recognised the voice, too, raising your head and smiling at the person in front of you despite the mask that obviously covered your face. “Do you mind?“ Said person pointed at the seat next to you and you gave them a nod. You almost relaxed and asked how did you end up on one bus, but through silence in the said bus you heard a “yes?“ In your phone. Fuck, Yuta, you realised you didn’t get a chance to cancel the call and he answered but your neighbour must’ve heard the call too, since her eyes moved to your phone and you had to end the call in absolute panic before she could read, connect the dots and ask questions. 

[15:02] from Yuta <3: what was this?

Oh fuck, why would he want to finally talk to you when your brains are all mush and another person is staring at you.

“Where you’re coming from?“ she asks with a smile. You sighed, seems like she didn’t have the time to notice anything.

“Ah, went to see my parents.“ She gave you a nod and you had to ask. “I’m sorry. Yeji, right?“

“Right.“ she gifted you with another nod.

“I’m sorry, so many new people around and not much time to talk to everyone. I still get a little confused with names.“ You excused yourself shyly. You were spending so much time agonising over Yuta you had no chance to go out and make friends.

“Don’t worry. I only joined the company a month before you. Still confuse some names.“

“Oh-, really? Did you train somewhere else prior? You’re very skilled.“ You recalled multiple occasions you saw her in action. 

“No-, oh god.“ She sincerely smiled “Why would you say this, you literally trained in SM for the longest time.“ Her eyes wrinkled in a perfect way, you couldn’t believe the girl was this pretty. 

“It really doesn’t mean anything.“ You waved her off with a chuckle. “I didn’t make it in the big run so it really doesn’t matter.“

“Wah… It’s really nothing, we’ll make it big in here.“ She giggled and her laughter flew through the bus, enveloping it in such sweet and encouraging girliness. 

“I really love the cut of your eyes.“ You let her know randomly, because her eyes were really pretty and she stared at you all flustered and shy with those eyes.

“Oh, you really shouldn’t say this.“ She waved her palms at you in the cutest act of denial, bowing mid action and hiding her face in her palms. “What year are you-“ she giggled lightheartedly and this simple interaction made your day so much better. You were still floating on Jaehyun happy virus that spread through your body and Yeji added so much to that. You were feeling happy for the first time in months.

“It’s fine, we can be friends-.“

“Oh“ she suddenly straightened her back at the hint you were older.

“No, no, no.“ you stopped her quickly and laughed. “It’s okay, I promise. We can be friends. I haven’t made any yet in here, so I think as first come first serve you can be the privileged one and talk freely.“ You would’ve not minded if she was your 10th friend in here. She was so cute and seemed so sweet, she could really refer however she wanted to you any time of the day.

“Oh.“ She gasped again and you suddenly felt like a mighty and wise senior. Someone with power and influence, except for you really weren’t and she could be the next pop star and you’ll just stay you, the greatest achievement being an announced SM Rookie. The single thought made you shake in fear. “Thank you.“ She smiled and trained her eyes on the view outside. “Oh, on-, I mean, Y/n, it’s our stop next, press the button, please.“ She pointed at the stop button and you finally focused your eyes on the outside, letting the driver know you’re departing here. You took off the bus and crossed the road to get to your building. As the two of you waited for the elevator, you pulled out your phone, typing the address of your dorm to the last chat in messages.

[15:34] to Yuta <3: thats where i live now

[15:34] to Yuta <3: if you ever feel like seeing me, just call. i’ll come outside.

[15:35] to Yuta <3: i’m usually free from 10pm

[15:35] to Yuta <3: i really miss you.

-

You tried not to think of the fact that your messages to Yuta were never rewarded with an answer. You had an additional hour free, since your choreographer had a birthday today and send all of you home early. You didn’t have much to do, you really were the type to lay on your bed and scroll through your Instagram and see what all your friends been up to. You looked at the picture of Ning hugging tightly the bear she was gifted by all girls back when you were part of that floor. It seemed she was in your previous room and you smiled, reaching out to her through DMs. “Solo room???? CONGRATS!!!“ you giggled and hit sent.

[20:55] From 2xNing: Solo room it is!! We had a real competition for it, but no one could ousting me so I won

[20:55] To 2xNing: Ahahahah I’m happy it’s in good hands

[20:59] From 2xNing: What’s the room arrangement like for you now???

[20:59] From 2xNing: When am I getting the debut announcement from you??

You looked around and didn’t really want to tell her anything. There was you and 3 other girls and if the two of them had a bunkbed, you and one more girl had just thick mattresses that were supposed to migrate to an actual bed frame but somehow still stayed on the floor. You were thankful even for that, because you had to sleep on a yo for the first month due to some logistical issues and it was disastrous. You didn’t even sleep on a yo when you were a kid and visited your grandparents, you really didn’t want to think about that ever again. 

The room had no air conditioning and looked old, in addition to being generally small, but you didn’t want to complain. It was hot and humid but at least you had a chance to debut and they promised to move you all to a different dorm in the nearest future. You were just hoping that nearest future would come. Everyone seemed baffled with the rooms, but everyone seemed closed off and didn’t want to discuss these things with you. People wanted to maintain their image, they kept themselves distanced and awkward. You really hated on yourself for the lack of will to get closer on your part. You were new and they were already settled, so you felt like an outcast thanks to the inner battles you had with people from you previous agency. Were you considered a threat? Just unlikable? You didn’t even have time to work these things out. Ugh, you really needed to put in work to befriend them. Your eyes ran over the room once again, and literally everyone stared into their phones, earphones plugged in. 

[21:03] To 2xNing: room sucks on default since its shared and I’m used to being solo, but I guess it helps us to connect

[21:03] To 2xNing: no debut for me tho lol

[21:03] from Yuta <3: Think you could see me tonight?

You jumped up on the mattress and hit your head on the bedside lamp that hung right above your head. 

“What is it?“ Chaeyeon, that had been laying on her back facing you, pulled her earphones in one swift motion at the sight.

“Oh, no. It’s nothing.“ you mumbled awkwardly only receiving a side eye from the girl. You needed to rehabilitate yourself in all of their eyes. “It’s my-, my childhood friend. I didn’t expect them to reach out to me. That’s it.“ You looked at your phone awkwardly. 

“Okay.“ She shrugged uninterested. Okay, whatever, you sighed. 

[21:04] to Yuta <3: I could

[21:05] to Yuta <3: When?

[21:05] to Yuta <3: I’m home

[21:06] from Yuta <3: I’m outside

-

so we're starting off with a cliff hanger lol but as I promised, I have good news. Part 5 is coming out next Monday 5pm EST.

while I personally love reading long chapters, I've decided to cut everything max to 10k since I'm sure reading 20k words takes a ridiculous amount of time for everyone

more good news that involve Haechan are coming very soon!

I hope tumblr doesn't f this up and this reaches people

anyway, see you next Monday :)

[1141520851813892291920]

ENT0012

RE: Dreams, hunger, and...libraries.

Apologies to anyone reading this if my words are...difficult to parse. It is difficult for me to write them. My compositional skills seems to have been affected strongly by whatever malaise I'm currently plagued with.

I feel...exhausted. My head is still throbbing. It's as though I've been hit with a full body migraine. It feels like I've just been on a bender - I haven't been hungover since uni, but this feeling is upsettingly close. The headache, the nausea, the stiffness in my joints and soreness in my muscles...the overwhelming sensation that you are just about to vomit but never do. I feel my eye twitching and my hands shake as I type this. No amount of hydration and pain medication seem to be effective. I'm tempted to rifle through Jon's medicine cabinet, I'm sure he has something to at least ease my symptoms a little bit.

Regardless -

As reluctant as I am to admit it, it would appear that Gerry is correct regarding the...altered state...I assume when I am...hungry.

It is the most delectable and destructive binge cycle, an addiction and craving that simultaneously drains and fulfills. And like all addictions, it leaves me starving for more. More and more and more, the hunger inside me demands I pursue and consume until my body cannot physically stand it, and even still it pushes and pushes pushes.

It was due to this craving that I found myself in the library - not the one I work at, but the public library. The staff there always is happy to see Jon, it seems, he is a staple there of sorts. Before, he would come in almost daily, chat with the staff, exchange book recommendations and petty gossip - I'm sure they wonder at "his" new less than sunny disposition. One of them asked after me, offered assistance and "anything I can do to help". That same employee was the one to greet me this visit, and I requested access to their own archive - typically a closed collection that requires staff supervision to access, and only by appointment. Jon, however, is apparently an exception to this rule; whether by virtue of his own position working with rare and special collections or a personal connection with library staff, I do not know. I am not going to question it too thoroughly though, as it got me the access I required.

The local library's archive is in the basement of the central branch, in a dark room with humming overhead fluorescent lighting and a concrete floor that is prone to flooding. The stacks are tall and close together - not the open and accessible structure of the stacks above - but claustrophobic and daunting. The books seem to watch you as you enter, and the feeling of being observed is enough to make you snap your neck for checking behind you constantly.

It is...a comforting, familiar feeling. I felt more relaxed in that moment than I have for a while now, knowing that whatever was Watching me, I was Watching it back. I felt the stacks welcome me, embrace me, coax me in with sweet whispers of long forgotten knowledge and like a moth to flame I followed, allowing it to consume me as I would soon be consuming it.

That is, unfortunately, the...last thing I clearly remember. The rest of the day was spent in a blur of crumbling old paper, the smell of ink and dust and blood, the furious and unbreakable feeding. The more books I devoured, the stronger I became, the more fervid and energized and demanding; from the darkest corners of this place I pried centuries old documents full of forgotten names and statements. I could feel their ghosts inside me, part of me now, revived by the despicable necromancy of remembrance. If I want, I can still hear their voices speaking to me, though it makes my headache worse.

I...am not sure how long I was there. I seem to have lost an entire day of time, if not longer. At some point I must've fallen asleep, as I remember the dreaming - the dreams of Watching those that have fed my hunger. I walked the corridors of a House that is not correct, I sat inside the suffocating toybox, I saw the colors shift and twist and laugh, I saw claws and teeth ripping flesh and running through the forest, I heard the buzzing of a million flies, I watched as the beast executed the immaculately strategized murder, and I watched as a familiar but strange face awoke me in the library so that I could Watch him, too, as he gave himself to the power that calls to him.

It wasn't until...sometime...this morning? Yesterday? I'm not entirely certain, but at some point, the friendly library staff member shook me awake, her face stern but concerned. She told me I had to leave, and I didn't resist, I don't think I could've, the state I was in. She had threatened to call emergency services, I apparently looked terrible. It seems as though the library staff believed me to have gone on some sort of drug induced bender - the kind that made me lose my mind and tear through the archives leaving a mess of paper and blood in my wake.

Today I received a letter in the mail informing me that I've been banned from all public library locations for a period of 3 months.

I think I've gotten everything I needed from there, though. After all...

I ate their entire Archive.

And it does not want leftovers.

[blackacre13]

Hello dear Logan! I don't know if you've seen Friends but there's a part where Joey notices Chandler's ruffled hair and says to him: "You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?" Could you do something like that but it's the crew poking fun at Lou and Debbie?

Of course I’ve seen Friends and I love this prompt! Here you are:

“Let me sleep, Debs,” Lou groaned, physically protesting my tugging the comforter back as she tried to pull it entirely over her face.

“The girls are going to be here any minute and you know how much shit they’ll give us if they know we just rolled out of bed. Or worse. They find us in bed again.”

“Just five more minutes, honey. You tuckered me out.”

“And how is that possible?” Debbie smirked, whispering in the blonde’s ear as she kissed the soft skin beside it. “I was the one doing all the work.”

“Hey!” The blonde shot back, grabbing at her partner as Debbie squealed, gasping and giggling as Lou tickled the exposed parts of her skin peeking out from her silk tank top. “I asked what you wanted and that’s what you chose, Ocean.”

“Yes,” Debbie gasped, her cheeks red and face flustered from laughing. She stood, straightening out her hair and shirt as she sprinted out of Lou’s reach headed towards the bathroom. “I chose to do the work. I mean someone had to make sure I got off last night.”

“You can’t ride my strap without me—“ Lou cut herself off as Debbie gave her a sultry look, disappearing into the bathroom with a final wink.

“I’ll let you picture exactly that possibility while I get ready,” Debbie hummed.

A few minutes later, Debbie’s heels were clicking away towards the steps after giving Lou a toothpaste minty kiss to the forward, set on laying out the bagels and spreads they’d picked up last night for the crew. They were currently protesting being the only ones who ever cooked for the group. Well, Lou was. Lou wouldn’t consider licking batter and stealing things out of a frying pan to be helpful from her disaster of a sous chef.

Lou heard some voices downstairs and assumed that Tammy was there. That was fine. She was always early. But then the door slammed and there was some screaming and laughing which meant that the younger parts of the brood were actually showing up. Hungover and starving, no doubt. But still present. She’s procrastinated too long.

She frowned down at the band tshirt she was wearing and shrugged, merely sliding into abandoned leather pants from yesterday on the floor and a pair of ankle boots from Debbie that she had recently adopted as her own, throwing a blazer over the ensemble and cuffing the sleeves. She ruffled her bangs and popped a piece of gum in her mouth before stepping through a cloud of cologne, not bothering to look in the mirror before she headed downstairs.

Debbie greeted her with a kiss and a murmur about her “sexy bed head” that Lou waved off, but it left her blushing as she went to gather herself a plate and figure out the coffee situation.

And then Daphne appeared behind her and she could practically hear the silent judgment.

“Kluger,” Lou breathed, already suppressing the urge to roll her eyes at the woman pre caffeine.

“God,” Daphne tsked. “You are so lazy. Would it kill you to get on top for once?”

She raised an eyebrow in judgment letting the question hang in the air, but walked away with half of a bagel with the center scooped out and an almost invisible swipe of butter.

“Did I miss something?” The blonde asked, turning around to Tammy who handed her a mug and a shit-eating grin.

“Back of your hair,” Tammy smirked. “Looks like it was steamrolled into the headboard.”

“Wait. Deb tops?” Nine grinned.

“Better,” Constance laughed. “Dad tops from the bottom.”

“Better,” Constance laughed. “Dad tops from the bottom.”

[edamame-saladd]

i feel majorly hungover today, was used to not taking alcohol very well, but under the current circumstances it’s effect has definitely doubled. would not have needed that second drink..

today will be hard to mask, will be around people throughout most of the day, will probably be obligated to eat again, wish i could stay in bed and starve in peace

[senerist]

Shinon is so, so drunk that if soren didn't know him better, he'd have assumed the message went in one ear and out the other. Beside the smell of booze wafting off the redhead, there's something else in the air. soren's almost impressed to feel a hint of nostalgia. Shinon hates everything, but even in his shriveled, hungover heart, he held something for the half-breed. It would be sweet, again if soren didn't know him better.

"Yessir," soren replies playfully. Two glances down at his current drink confirms he's got less than half left. he's due for a refill, certainly, and talking to shinon has only pressured him into pursuing it.

he's no longer the child shinon still sees him as, and he has no trouble in downing the rest of his wine in one swig. It settles on his brain like moss, but he's still lucid. he drank much, much more when...

Shaking away the sadness, soren strolls off to refill his glass, taking the time to admire all the outfits and baubles that these aptly called fucks adorn themselves with. The serving girl is a shy young thing, eager to replace his glass but not so eager to discuss the festivities until soren admits his paycheck would never have covered the party if it weren't so large and open. She's a hired maid, only here for the night, and knows her employer but practically nothing else.

This, soren is good at. He's adept at the pretending to be some one adjacent to himself, some one who can fit whatever mold is needed at present, and slot into whichever niche he needs to fill.

The fop putting this party on is about three times the size of soren. His shape reminds him of slave owners from Begnion, and he seems just as self-absorbed. There's an interesting pendant on his left breast that soren compliments to worm his way in the conversation. He'd been speaking in a circle of other self-obsessed asshats, and soren's presence has drawn all eyes on him.

It's fine though, because right now he's an ass-kissing ladder climber that wants so, so bad for this [goddess, soren's already forgotten his name, oops.] to notice him and offer him the scantest of table scraps. soren dangles himself like a piece of meat to a starving dog, and the dumbass takes the bait, too blinded by his love of manipulating the poor to avoid soren's trap.

That clock looks nice. There's a few knick knacks beside it, too. Maybe if soren kicks up enough of a scene, shinon will pinch those too.

"You've lived such a breadth of experience," soren coos, feigning awe. "Is there anything you haven't done? I'd struggle to believe some one as intelligent as yourself wouldn't have -"

he takes a step towards the man, forcing a flirtatious twist in his hips just for good, subtle measure. With the help of the wine he'd already imbibed, he hardly needs to fake his feet failing from under him, tripping forward and spilling that entire drink on his target. His hand presses into the nobleman, as though in his moment of vulnerability he had reached out for support from this newly-minted friend, and the stain that soaks into his sleeve is enough of an excuse to prove the action had been completely innocent.

Some of the other nobles in the circle tear their eyes off soren to gauge the reaction of their better.

"Oh, goddess, i am so, so sorry, sir -" soren begins his oncoming litany of apologies by raising his voice, hoping that shinon isn't too drunk to see an opening, or hear it.

As silly as the setting for this act of subterfuge, it seems as though the nobleman isn't too upset with soren. That could be an issue, but for now, the distraction is deployed.

🎄

// lets make it awkward

He'd come to this party to get drunk and steal knick-knacks, and, well. Two for two. He had a nasty red wine headache and a little porcelain pegasus tucked into the bottom of his quiver. The details are done in gold paint. He daydreams about tossing the thing off the wyvern launch.

But wait. Shit. Nobody saw him do that, right?

Fuck. There was Soren. Jumped-up know-it-all little brat.

Shinon stares, his brow furrowing deep as a mountain crevasse. He scuttles drunkenly aside, into an archway where some stupid... decorative weed is hung.

Soren didn't see that, right?

[soniabigcheese]

Trying to get into the Christmas spirit - well, not literally. I don't want to be hungover when cooking the turkey. Now THAT would be an interesting event.

Speaking of ... a bit of pressure taken off regarding dinner. A certain member of the family is STILL refusing to accept a meal. Well, that's fine, one less mouth to feed (and she should feel very fortunate that there's been an offer, as there are many many people starving out there, thanks to the current crisis)

And I've just invested in an electric 3 tier steamer so that I can cook veggies with ease and not worry that the cooker decides not to work any more.

Presents have been wrapped and distributed. Food has been bought and waiting to be cooked

[rebelwrites]

Finest Hour

Jax Teller x Reader

A/N based on “finest hour” by Gavin DeGraw lyrics in bold

Is it really true?

All the stuff we did last night

We shut down the bars

Danced on top of cars

Asked some girl if she’d be my wife

It currently felt like an elephant was stopping on your head. Rolling over onto your front you buried your face into your pillow as the light from the sun was just too harsh. Hearing your best friend groan beside you, you knew she was feeling the same as you did.

“I can’t remember much about last night” you said softly but it came out as a mumble as your face was planted into the pillow still.

Luckily your best friend understood the language of mumbled and hungover. Turning your head to the side to face her.

“Girl we shut things down” Lexi smirked “I mean I’m sure you asked a blonde lad to marry you last night”

“Oh god” you groaned “please tell me I didn’t”

“Yeah you did I got this picture of you on one knee to him” Lexi said showing her her phone.

“Please kill me now”

“Hey at least he is cute” she winked “you never know”

Oh, and I got pictures that I don’t remember taking that are so bad

And, oh, I had to break into my own damn apartment

How bout that?

They say the best always come from the worst nights baby, but

Oh, it was crazy

And, oh, it was amazing

We blew all our money

And crashed in your Mercedes

Both you and Lexi were currently sat on the balcony of your shared apartment, sunglasses shielding your eyes, nursing a very strong coffee and cigarette hanging from your lips as you went through the photos of the night before.

“I can’t believe we had to break into our own place because you lost the key” You half laughed at your best friend.

“Who knew you could pick locks” she winked.

Leaning over the balcony, you caught a glimpse of the Mercedes your dad got you as a graduation gift. The black paint had bright pink streaks of spray paint down the sides alongside the front wing being buckled.

“I guess I best get that sorted today” you huffed “I don’t even like the car but Dad is coming down next weekend so I can’t let him see the car like this”

“We taking a trip to Teller Morrow then?” Lexi asked.

“I think so” you nodded.

Yeah, we both got numbers

But didn’t get the names

And my whole damn party lost power

It was, it was, it was our finest hour

“Girl why have you got a number written on your hip?” Lexi gasped as your hoodie rose up.

“What?” You shrieked looking down to see a number scrawled onto your skin with a permanent marker. “Whose number is it?”

“My bet is on the blondie” she smirked “you were quite cosy with him last night, like he did have his tongue down your throat quite a bit”

“Lex I can’t even remember the guy” you laughed, saving the number in your phone.

“Just text the number” she winked. “Now come on the tow truck is here”

“Let’s go waste some money on a car I hate” you laughed grabbing your phone and bank card.

Walking up to the office trying to find someone to sort your car. Little did you know the blonde you were getting steamy with was currently working on a car in the garage.

“Can I help you darlin’” the blonde asked looking up from the engine.

The words got stuck in your throat. You felt like you were choking on the air.

“Wait I know you” the guy smirked “I mean I write my number on your hip and I don’t even get a call or a text but now you are stalking me”

“Urm” you stuttered “er, I didn’t, I’m not”

“What my dumbass friend is trying to say is, she can’t actually remember you” Lexi laughed making you glare at her. “What it’s true”

“Y/N I thought I’d leave an impression” the blonde smirked “I mean I did have you moaning my name in the toilets and you kinda proposed to me”

“Oh shit” you said feeling your cheeks burned “I mean I remember that just not your name”

“Well I guess that’s a start” he smirked “it’s Jax by the way”

“Well Jax I need someone to fix my car” you said rubbing the back of your neck.

“I see you carried on the party after I left” Jax smirked draping his arm over your shoulder.

“Lexi, Chibs is around here somewhere” Jax winked.

“Sorry girl I’m dipping” Lexi smirked leaving you and Jax alone.

“I feel so embarrassed right now” you said looking at your feet.

“Well darlin how about I get someone to work on your car and we shall go get some breakfast” Jax smiled.

“Still doesn’t kill the embarrassment” you mumbled.

“Tell you what darlin’ let’s start a fresh, we don’t have to mention last night” Jax smiled “now what do you say to breakfast”

“Well I am starving” you giggled looking into them blue eyes “but you are paying boy”

SOA TAGLIST

@chibsytelford @talicat713 @corebore123 @nothingeverdies @teapartydreams @mrspeacem1nusone @khyharah @itmejado @beth-winchester21 @rocketqueen @auroraariza @trulysuccubus @haynsey @witching-hour @destynelseclipsa @edonaspanca @abbiesthings @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @jadesamhart @lady-pswrld @ly--canthrope @hennessyauntie @gemini0410 @i-love-scott-mccall @est11 @mystic-shadows42 @sugary-x-sweet @starrynite7114 @skyofficialxx @terminallygenius @lauraashley93 @leaalfred @angelreyesgirl89 @sheeshgivemeabreak @marquelapage @meteora-fc @penny4yourthot @justahopelessssromantic @ilikechocolatemilkh @mayans-sauce @xbreezymeadowsx @ben-c-group-therapy @-im-fantastic- @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @milaxmariex @cubblycie @little-diable @hotdamnhunnam @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead

[belovedbangtan]

Dive| Part 10 | jjk

<Masterlist>

Pairings: Jungkook x y/n, Yoongi x oc

Word Count: 4.6k

Series Description:  Camping with your ex, sounds horrible right? The camping trip was   planned and payed for long before y/n’s shitty boyfriend broke up with   her. Her best friend Abby, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook are there to make sure she has an amazing time. However, sharing a tent with  a smoke show like Jungkook is bound to lead to some complications.

Warnings: language, *this chapter mentions mentally abusive actions* *Very clingy/Jungkook and oc*, mentions of sex. For real... seriously CLINGY. 

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They were attempting to be quiet but, their hushed tones were far from hushed. You’re awake now, eyes still closed as you process your current surroundings. You focus on the conversation that is seemingly between Jungkook, his cousin, and what you assume to be his aunt. She thanks him a countless amount of times and he tells her that it was no problem an equal amount of times. A hint of annoyance in his tone, but she clearly didn’t detect it at all. Then his cousin says something that you can barely make out, whispering being something she clearly comprehended; unlike her mother and Jungkook.

“We’re supposed to talk today, ill let you know what happens…” His voice veers off as if he suddenly became nervous.

“She cares about you Kook, I can tell. You care about her too, right?” she mumbles, no longer trying to whisper.

“A lot,” Is all you hear him respond with. His cousin giggles and tells him one final time not to stress and that everything will work out. She thanks him for the umpteenth time and they finally leave.

You wonder what time it is, laying there fully coherent but for some reason scared to open your eyes. After laying there for awhile and playing out every possible outcome, you decide to ‘wake up.’ Pulling yourself up into the sitting position, your pupils adjusting to the small amount of sunlight coming in from the windows.

“Good morning,” His voice is like honey, as he lifts his coffee cup to his lips. “Do you want some coffee?”

A soft smile and a nod have him gathering a cup and pouring the liquid gold into it. After telling him that you’ll take it black, he walks it over to where you are on the couch. You take it into your cold hands, sighing after taking a drink. Holy shit you were hungover.

You sit in silence long enough to wonder why it suddenly felt odd. You had so many things you wanted to say but couldn’t formulate the proper way to bring it up.

“Thanks for letting me stay the night,” you murmur, his large doe eyes peak up from his mug.

“Of course,” He answers, his face freezes when he realizes he doesn’t know what to say either. Or maybe, like you, how to say it.

Things go quiet again, you hear the birds chirping outside and the slow morning flow of traffic. You adjust yourself so that you’re facing him directly, your legs crisscrossed beneath you. His hair was fluffy, tame, but fluffy. The area around his eyes is slightly swollen and you wonder if he got any sleep last night. Mindlessly you set your mug down on the coffee table and you start moving across the couch to where he is. You still don’t know what or how to express what you need to but maybe you don’t need words. His eyes flick to yours, at first, he looks panicked then it quickly changed to relief. A smile pulling at his lips as he leans forward to set his mug next to yours. With his hands free, he sits back as you straddle his sweatpants clad lap. You take a deep breath, drinking in his morning beauty as his hands find their way underneath his shirt that clung to your body, resting on your hips just above the waist band.

When your eyes meet his, you forget why you worried at all. A wave of complacency rushing through your veins. With him you felt safe, with him you had no worries. Your fingers delicately push their way through his fluffy locks, letting your nails lightly scratch his scalp. His eyes close instinctively as he exhales deeply. As his head falls backward, your eyes are drawn to the center column of his throat. Fantasizing about how good it would look decorated in your love bites.

Before you can act on it, his words are pulling you from your heed.

“I’m really sorry that I made you upset last night, I should have told you what was going on so you didn’t worry,” his eyes meet yours and they’re filled with regret.

“Well I appreciate your apology, but I’m the one who should be apologizing. I guess I was just… confused, it hurt seeing you with someone else obviously.” you explain softly your fingers steadily raking through his hair.

He hums at your words, his fingers delicately brushing along your spine. Fire spreading from the tips of his fingers through your cold body. His brows shoot up, “I wish it wouldn’t have happened, but I learned something because it did,” his head tilts to the side as he drinks you in.

Staring into his whiskey colored orbs longer than you should have, “What did you learn?”

“I learned that… seeing you cry is something I never want to do again. I only want to make you happy, never sad,” He reaches up to cup your jaw, his eyes scanning over your face frantically.

Looking away from him, you feel your eyes start to well up. He inhales quickly before adjusting beneath you, “No… no, what did I say? I didn’t mean to ma…” he starts to panic, wondering what he said wrong.

“Remember when we were camping? And you told me I was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen in your life,  and I started to cry?” You chuckle. He reaches up to wipe away your tear. His body visibly relaxes when you compare the situations.

“Mhm, and you told me that no one had every talked to you like that,” his voice is quiet. You have to swallow the lump in your throat when you realize he remembers that moment as clear as you do.

“Well it’s true, ya know? I don’t know if I’ve ever been properly…loved,” You start to explain, “At the same time, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this way about anyone else. You make me feel like I’m crazy. There’s something about you that’s so intoxicating to me. I’ve never experienced having someone care about me the way you do or pay attention to me the way you do. It’s all so new to me, I’d be lying if I said that I’m not terrified.”

When you look up at him, he’s nervously chewing the side of his mouth. You laugh through your nose, leaning forward to press your lips to his. When you start to pull away his lips chase after yours. He kisses you a little more passionately this time as his hand wraps itself around the back of your neck pulling you down to him again. Breathlessly you pull apart, his hand still holding you close as your forehead rest on his.

“I’ve never been in this deep for someone, y/n. I’ve never cared about someone as much as I do you. I don’t know why. I can’t explain why I have these feelings for you but, I do. You make me so happy, and you bring a peacefulness that I’ve never felt before. I fucked up once, and I promise you that I will never do anything to hurt you ever again. Like I said… only want to make you happy.”

Your tears are mixing with his, and you can’t stop them from coming. You know that everything he’s telling you is true. You know that even though he hurt you, he didn’t mean to. You know that if you allow him too, he will love you with all of his heart for the rest of his life.

“I know we were going to talk about this tonight, but I can’t wait anymore, “His voice was shaking, almost as if he was unsure of the words that were about to be spoken. He sits up tall so that his face is mere inches from your own. He swallows hard, and his nerves start to rub off on you.

You raise your brows giving him a gentle smile as your fingers slide down to the back of his neck, silently telling him that he didn’t need to be nervous. He exhales loud in response.

His hands quivering as they rest on your sides, “I want to be with you. I want to be all yours, and I want you to be mine. I know what I want, and I don’t want you to be confused about anything anymore. Will you be my girlfriend, y/n?”

Your chest tightens with every confession that leaves his lips. The overwhelming feeling to scream or yell or cry. His eyes scanning your face for an answer, a hint, anything to ease his nerves.

Your voice is shot, so you nod aggressively. Tears shaking off of your face. Before you can get your full response out his lips are on yours fervent and passionate as his fingers lace in your hair on the back of your head to pull you closer to him.

He pulls back to take you in once again, “I’m sorry, I’m just having a hard time believing that you’re finally mine.”

You giggle as he pulls you in again kissing you slower this time, taking in the details to remember this specific moment and the exact way he feels. He wonders if he should tell you he loves you. He wants to, he wants to scream it from the roof top. He was honest about never being this deep. Part of him thought he may never know what it felt like to be in love. Up until you, it was short relationships that were always one sides and lacked something vital. Up until you, love didn’t exist. To him, you were love.

“So, does this mean…we can get breakfast instead of dinner? I’m literally starving to death,” Your stomach groans rip through the silent room. Jungkook instantly starts to die of laughter.

“Yes baby, I’ll make you some pancakes, sound good?” He shakes his head, giggling at your dramatic head nod.

Sitting across from him as you eat breakfast, reality set in. Everything felt surreal. Every fiber of your being was ready to dive into what ever was in store for you and Jungkook. As much as you convinced yourself that you were ready for the next step, there was no denying that you were terrified of giving your heart to him. Obviously, the sexual attraction was there, but you wondered if that was part of what was making everything so intense for you.

Jungkook was an anomaly to you in so many ways. He was caring, attentive, and insanely attractive. The most dangerous thing about him, however, was his ability to bring you to your knees; literally and figuratively. He was like a sex God that you couldn’t say ‘no’ to, because why would you? During your time away from him, you wondered how you would feel if you hadn’t allowed yourself to be with him sexually. The automatic intimacy was something about your relationship that made you miss it; made you miss him.

“What’s on your mind?” His voice is laced in innocence as he cocks his head to the side. Stacking your plate on top of his. You have to laugh at his innate ability to see through you. Another reason it was so hard to deny your chemistry.

“I guess, I was just thinking about us,” your bottom lip is instantly sucked into your teeth as you look away from him.

You hear him hum as he stands to put your plates in the sink, “Anything you want to share?” he asks. You can tell he’s somewhat anxious by the way he avoids you. His back turned away from you as he fidgets with the dirty dishes in the sink. You stand and wrap your arms around the back of him.

“Nothing bad, I don’t think at least… just maybe want to take things… slow.” You mumble into his back, feeling his quiet chuckles rumble against your cheek. He turns in your arms, brushing your hair behind your ears before cupping each side of your head.

“I’m listening,” He smiles.

You take a deep breath as you explain how you feel. Ultimately ending by telling him that you want to wait awhile before the two of you do anything sexually.

“It’s not like I don’t want to, I just think it’s smart if we maybe slow things down a bit. The way we should have at the start. I like you a lot Jungkook, and I want to be confident that we exist outside of our sexual attraction…” you ramble, his attention on you never faltering. “Do you hate me now?”

His eyes scrunch together, appalled that you would ever assume that he could hate you.

“I could never hate you,” He presses his lips to your cold nose, “What I feel for you is way more than sex. But I get that I need to prove that to you, and I will. I think that if that if it’s something you need from me than I will go as slow as you need me to.”

“You promise you’re not mad? Or upset?” you ask him quietly, swallowing hard. He lightly grips your chin, pulling your face up so that you’re looking at him.

“Baby… why do you think I would be mad?” He asks, his voice is soft and concerned.

“I-I don’t know,” your chest starts to tighten, and tears start to build up in the corners of your eyes, “Ben would get mad if I didn’t want to. He always made me feel guilty because I made him wait three months before we had sex. He said he didn’t mind at first, but he did.”

Jungkook wraps his arms around your shoulders pulling your in close. His face red with fury. If he thought he had reasons to hate Ben before, now he had motive for murder. He lifts you up, setting you on the counter so he can stand eye to eye with you.

“Look at me baby,” he demands softly, “I would never make you feel guilty for not wanting to have sex with me. You are so much more than your body and I need you to know that. We can take things as slow as we need to take them. I want you to trust me completely, I will never hurt you.” He pleads, begging for you to believe that he was someone different.

Tears building in his own eyes now, guilt of his own words and actions weighing even heavier. He knew that he hurt you when you overheard his conversation with Ben, but it was so much more than that. You let your walls down for him, and he completely let you down. He pulls you into him tighter this time. Understanding how vital it is for him to love you properly. To show you how incredibly special you are to him.

Your conversation ended there. You both moved to the couch, deciding to watch a movie while you cuddled with one another; not quite yet ready to let one another go.

“Abby is going to lose it when she finds out we’re actually together.” You murmur into his chest with a giggle. You feel his chest shake when he starts to laugh quietly.

“Yeah Jimin and Tae have been making bets on if and when it would happen.”

“Assholes,” You shake your head, rolling your eyes at their immaturity. At the same time you cant blame them for finding a way to make your roller coaster of emotions somewhat entertaining for them.

“Are you going to Jimin’s movie night tomorrow?”

“Yeah, should we tell them then?” you ask

“Maybe… or maybe we should have some fun with it?” He grins down at you.

“I’m listening…” You tilt your head on his chest to look up at him.

“Well if Jimin and Tae are betting on us, you know Abby is playing along too. So, what if we tricked them. When we show up tomorrow, we not only act like were not dating… but as if we have no feelings at all. They’ll be so confused.” He giggles.

“When do we tell them?” you bite your lip, weighing out the scenario in your head. You know they’ll be pissed but that’s what makes it intriguing.

“Mmm… I guess when we leave? Unless they catch on before that.” He shrugs, looking down at you.

“They’re gonna be pissed,” You giggle raising your brows.

“I know,” He laughs, clearly that’s the point for him.

“Alright lets do it.”

Movie night comes faster than expected. You almost fucked up the plan by  wearing Jungkook’s sweater over your leggings. Last minute you had to run inside and switch it out for one of your own. You and Jungkook ride together, deciding that you’ll go inside a few minutes before him. You’ll tell everyone that you took an Uber if they ask.

“Remember, pretend I don’t exist.” Jungkook reminds you, as he pulls into the parking spot. You glance over at him, nodding your head. His sharp jawline on full display as he chews at his bottom lip. His tattooed arm flexing as he adjusts his grip on the steering wheel. He reaches down and puts his car into park. As soon as he does you instantly reach across turning his head to look at you.

“You say that like it’s going to be easy…” You mumble as you drink in his facial features, the mole just under his lip begging to be kissed. His lips start to pull into a smirk. Without thinking you push yourself out of your seat and over to his lap. Straddling him with one leg on either side of his. His eyes follow your every movement, his breath hitching when you finally make yourself comfortable. His hands naturally reaching behind you to cup your ass over the thick material of your leggings.

Finally facing the truth, you will never get used to the way he looks you. His dark caramel colored eyes reminding you of Whiskey in more ways than one. The way they warm your entire body from head to toe, or the way that they make you want to risk it all; never thinking about the consequences. Completely and utterly intoxicating.

You lean in kissing his cheek with a feather light touch, his eyes never leaving you. With your fingers just below his jaw, your lips dance along his cheek, closer and closer to his plump lips. Both of you letting out a sigh of relief when you finally reach them. Your lips fitting together as if they were made for each other. His tattooed hand suddenly comes up to your neck pulling you desperately closer. His tongue teasing your bottom lip just before he decides to let it slide inside. Your tongues tangle together for what feels like a century, until he pulls away, trapping your bottom lip in between his teeth as he does.

“Fuck, I don’t know if I can do this,” He giggles as he tries to regulate his breathing. You giggle as you leave a trail of kisses down the side of his neck. You know it’s not helping the situation but if you’re not allowed to talk to him or look at him for the next 3 hours you needed to get in what you could now. With one final, long, kiss to his lips you open his car door to let yourself out.

“It’ll be worth it,” You giggle, realizing his hand was still holding onto yours. You look at his lap realizing that you caused quite the situation. You wince, biting your lip as you look at him with sorry eyes. “Ill go inside and let you figure that out,” You giggle as you start to walk away.

“I thought you were supposed to be sweet?!” He yells out sarcastically, only making you laugh harder.

It was harder than you thought it would be. Not because you desperately wanted to snuggle up to Jungkook on the couch, but because between Tae, Jimin, and Abby; you couldn’t catch a break. The second you were in the door they were on you like bats out of hell. Asking you every question under the moon about you and Jungkook and your impending status. You immediately excused yourself to the restroom, claiming you had to pee the entire way here. Once you were away you texted Jungkook telling him to come inside so they would stop hounding you. You knew they wouldn’t talk about it if you were in the same room.

Conveniently, Jungkook walked into the apartment as soon as you walked back into the kitchen. You smiled at him, then quickly excused yourself to the living room to sit and wait for the movie to start. Jungkook follows your lead, sitting directly across the room from you. His eyes meet yours for a brief second, and you wish you had the ability to read his mind. The not so quiet whispers from the kitchen catch your attention. You have to giggle a bit at how overdramatic they were being. No doubt, they were confused. If it weren’t for Yoongi yelling out for them to join everyone in the living room, they probably would have stayed in the kitchen trying to figure out what was happening.

They all file into the room, their eyes casually flicking from you to Jungkook. Abby cuddles up to Yoongi, her eyes tight on you. You avoid her at all cost, knowing she would try to communicate through her eyes. Jimin sits with Jungkook and Tae plops down next to you. His innocent smile playing on his lips as he turns his head and looks you up and down.

“You doin okay?” His brow lifts as he asks you.

“Uhm… yeah?” You giggle, scrunching your brows as you adjust the cover that lays over your body, “Are you?” you smile.

He looks over at Jungkook, who is seemingly immersed in whatever is on his phone screen.

“Im… good.” He answers, his brain still trying to put the pieces together. Jimin is talking to Jungkook but it doesn’t look like he’s getting the answers he wants. As Yoongi presses play on the movie, all of the questions come to a halt. You can still feel Abby’s eyes burning into your head. Midway through the movie you can tell they’re all texting one another, each of their phones going off at the same time.

Your phone goes off a few minutes later…

Kookie:

He keeps asking me and I keep shrugging my shoulders. He’s losing it… this is so funny.

Wait awhile to respond, they’re watching.

Controlling your reaction on your face was harder than you thought it would be. You calmly set your phone down, resting your head on the couch. A few minutes later you decide to go to the restroom, pulling your phone out to text Jungkook back.

Y/n:

Yeah they’re for sure losing their minds.

… this is kinda hard.

*send*

You glance at yourself in the mirror, fidgeting with your appearance. A risque thought comes to your mind. You know you shouldn’t but, at the same time, you can’t think of a reason not to. You quickly take your hoodie off of your body and slide your leggings down your legs. Adjusting the waistband of your panties, then adjusting your girls in your bra. You sit on the edge of the bathroom counter, making your ass look fuller than it actually is. After playing with angles, you decide to take your bra off since he can see your tits from this angle anyway. After a few tries you finally capture the perfect picture.

Plopping down on to the couch, you wait a few minutes until you see Jungkook take his phone out of his pocket. Hiding your phone, you quickly press send, and adjust yourself so you can see his reaction. His eyes suddenly widen as he rearranges himself on the couch. His eyes flick up to yours, making your chest burn with a simple look. His pupils are blown out as he gnaws on the corner of his mouth anxiously. He pulls a pillow over his lap and waits a few more minutes before responding.

Kookie:

Baby doll, this was not a part of the plan.

I cant stop mentally undressing you now.

 As you read the message, the corners of your mouth lift into a cocky smirk. The pillow over his crotch tells you everything you need to know. As the movie comes to an end, everyone starts to talk about their weekend plans. Jungkook is quiet as his eyes are locked on you. His leg bouncing beneath him, as he leans on his elbow. You pick up your phone trying to decide on the words to say. As your fingers ghost over the screen, you can’t seem formulate what you want to say to him. You slowly look up and when you make eye contact with him, your mind is made up.

You slide your phone into your hoodie pocket, as you slowly push yourself off of the couch. Jimin going on about weekend plans in the background, but you and Jungkook are in a world of your own. As you walk across the room, you don’t notice when the room goes silent. Jungkook instantly perks up when he realizes what’s happening. Straightening his posture, he moves the pillow on his lap, and you take its place. Straddling him as if no one is in the room. Leaning into him, you gently slide your fingers through the hair at the base of his neck pulling his face up to yours.

Both of your smiles disappear when his lips hit yours, pressing into you for longer than he should have. When you finally pull away your rest your forehead against his.

“Hi,” you whisper.

“Hi.” He smiles.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!” Abby and Jimin scream nearly in sync with one another. You and Jungkook both start to die of laughter, as you adjust yourself to sit in his lap facing the others.

Taehyung, Jimin and Abby staring at you like you have three heads.

“Are you… are you together? Officially?” Abby throws Yoongi’s arm off of her so that she can stand up.

You look at Jungkook, and you both nod.

“Finally! For fucks sake. It took you long enough.” Yoongi groans out of nowhere, expressing the thoughts that were on everyone mind. The whole room erupts into laughter, and snide comments about how cruel we were to trick everyone. Abby and Jimin expressing their annoyance with not being called immediately.

“We just thought it would be funny. We know you guys have been placing bets on when it would happen, “Jungkook says as his arms tighten around your waist, pulling you in closer to him as he buries his nose in the crook of your neck.

An overwhelming feeling of contentment washes over you. Jungkook’s lips lightly brushing against your shoulder as if he needed to make up for the time that he wasn’t able to. His fingers laced with yours as his thumb brushes the back of your hand. It felt so natural. Even everyone around you had seemed to move on, clearly it felt right to them too.

His lips trail from your shoulder up to your ear, moving your hair out of the way, “No one will ever wonder if we’re together anymore. From now on, everyone will know that you’re mine and I’m yours.”  

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Taglist:

@cainami @carolsummerlove @zeharilisharaban @jikooksgirl19 @fallen-for-luke @madygswich @sugalarity @lofikoo​ @ggukkieeee @peachy-bhun @megs58298 @kawaiiayasan @ jeonchan26  @ambersaesthetics​ @hopekookies​ @rumpucis @iaintnohollybackgirl

A/N: THANK YOU for your patience on this chapter. There will be one more chapter (maybe two) after this one! I got a new job and life has been hectic. Please let me know what you think! (let all of your favorite writers know how much you love their work! We appreciate it more than you know!)

[e1igius]

the list keeps getting longer , as he listens , it's as if the other has decided that he's just going to go on and on and on about it. it should bother him , but he's already resigned himself to simply letting the other blonde say whatever he wants. so he just sits there , eyes closed , but fully interested in the giant list of things that caed rambles on about. food after food after food , each item making his stomach churn as if it's about to throw up. he doesn't understand how the other can even stand to eat that much. huck hates eating. something about how if he can't burn off the calories fast enough , he refuses to ingest it. it's not worth the food , it's not worth it. the liquor over beer isn't for taste , less calories in liquor. less chance of gaining weight. easier to run off , or lift off , or whatever it was that he chose to punish himself with the next morning to make sure that it didn't stay in place. he could never get enough off. it was as if the amount required so he didn't pass out didn't match the amount required for him to not look like some sort of shitbag and it was the most annoying thing on the planet.

he doesn't think too hard about anything , listening to the conversation and trying to focus away from the fact that even with his eyes closed he can feel the world spin under darkness. as if his body is required to breathe one thought at a time or else risk throwing up right there in the booth. he feels fine , he knows exactly how to recover from the situation he's found himself in. push through , swallow back any throw up , and just ignore it until the headache goes away or until the drunk feeling disappears. and hopefully , if he can manage to stay awake through all of it , he won't be hungover int he morning... technically it's already morning. to be fair , he has no idea what he would be doing without the other stopping at the diner , it's not like huckleberry could show up at his parents place smelling of jack daniels & cheap vodka.

eyes snap open as caed reveals the terrible realization that the last order of pancakes was in fact not his own. there's a small amount of terror laced in the water-soaked red eyes as he sits up , looking over at the other across the booth like he's some sort of goddamn idiot. why the fuck would he order food for him without asking ? huck didn't want food , he certainly didn't want pancakes , he could taste beer on his breath and both of those in one night was not going to be something he indulged in. even if he was starving , and probably should have food if he didn't want to be massively hungover the next morning. or he could just go with his original plan and just stay awake. just stay awake and not have to deal with this. stay awake and deal with it ? his brain was mush , he just wanted it to be over.

❝ i'm good , thanks. ❞ it's short , he can feel his whole body shaking , and he's not sure if its the liquor , the exhaustion , or the anger from the situation he's now in. but he's not angry... not really. its as if he's scared to eat. he knows he's going to throw up if he does , and that more than eating will make him lose the feeling he has in his stomach currently contributing to the numbness of everything important in the world. all responsibilities temporarily melted away. responsibilities that seemed to just echo in the back of his brain without actually disappearing unless he was actively drinking. he knows he should sober up, that's why caed had been called in the first place. that and... he was honestly too drunk to trust himself with any decisions if he'd found himself in a town he didn't know in the middle of nowhere. but this... this he was certain of.

blue eyes shine bright , as if illuminated by stadium stars. ❝ no food. ❞

OUT OF ALL THE THINGS CAED EXPECTED to come out of his mouth, that phrase was not one of them. the blonde stared at the other with a chuckle, something about that just fucking tickled him. for now he was going to blame it on the weed. hes not sure what it means or in what context the dog came in but he said it such confidence, caed was about his new nickname? or the giddy up, it was toss up. he gave the waitress a charming smile, the older woman smiled politely back as she sat them with menus. there were only two waitresses and a couple of cooks, a couple people spread out amongst the tables. at least one guy looked as fucked up as his companion.

" pancakes with bacon and eggs scrambled, hash browns and toast with jam, coffee with cream. and do you have pie? "

he didnt miss the raise of the womans brow, the look of a strange surprise on her face. so he might be a little hungrier than he thought. she fished her notepad out of her pocket, not quite prepared to take a full food order right that moment.

" no pie, sorry. "

" damn, no worries. can i get a second order of pancakes too, " he replied, holding out the unused menus toward her. the waitress glanced up at him as she jotting down the rest, taking the menus and making her way back to the counter. he turned back to huck, settling back in the red booth seat. the diner was fifties style, each booth had a coin operated juke box and a basket of condiments. elvis was playing somewhere in the background.

" second order if for you. you have to get something in you besides liquor and coffee as black as your soul, " he teased. hes been in a couple of odd situations before but nothing quite tops being at a diner at 3am with the guy who hates your guts. he wanted to poke at it, see if he hated him even wasted. he couldnt hate him too much if he was his second call ( counting that he couldve called billy ). he wouldve guessed at least fifth. that would be his first question—the second was one he didnt know if he could ever say without the boy running for the hills.

what demons were he trying to drown tonight?

[mascwhump]

Chapter 17 - Video Killed the Shooting Star

I changed my format a little bit. Let me know if you hate it and want me to go back to the old one.

BTHB: Tied to a chair

TW: Blood, knives, caning.

Tag list: @whatwasmyprevioususername @milk-carton-whump @whumpasaurus101 @whatwhumpcomments @mnmlover2002 @ashintheairlikesnow @badthingshappenbingo

-

A faint tingling in Charlie’s neck jolted him awake. He sat up quickly, and found himself being laughed at by both Mallory and Rudy.

“See? It’s great,” Mallory said as he turned off the current. Charlie narrowed his eyes at them as he reached up to gently rub his temples.

“Come on, Charlie. We’re going upstairs while Rudy does some work down here,” Mallory said. Charlie slowly got to his feet on his own accord and followed Mallory upstairs. He wondered what he meant by “work”. A large crate was sitting in the hall by the garage door, and Charlie took a long look at it as they passed by.

“Sit,” Mallory spoke as he pulled a chair out from the dining table. Charlie sat down and waited. Mallory set a plate of toast and a glass of milk in front of him, then went back down into the basement. Charlie nibbled on the toast; his lip stinging as crumbs found their way into the cut. He could hear a drill going downstairs.

He finished his meager meal and waited for Mallory to re-emerge. The collar was digging into his skin. He tried to get a finger between it and his neck to relieve some of the pressure, to no avail. Mallory finally came back after a few minutes and instructed Charlie to follow him into the garage.

A metal folding chair sat in the middle. A camera fixed atop a tripod was directly across from it. Just as Mallory instructed Charlie to sit down, Rudy opened the door, carrying the crate. He dropped it next to the workbench and flipped open the top. Then, he pulled a handful of zip ties from his pocket, and secured Charlie’s wrists behind his back and his ankles to the chair legs.

“We’re going to make a video to send to your friends,” Mallory said. He turned on the camera and adjusted the zoom.

“Say hello,” he said.

“Hello,” Charlie croaked, avoiding looking into the camera. Mallory stepped next to him and grabbed his jaw, forcing his head to face the camera.

“Anything you want to say to them?” Mallory asked.

“Um, I’m doing fine, guys. I hope you are, too,” Charlie spoke.

His throat was dry and started to become tight. Rudy wheeled the workbench closer, just out of view of the camera. It blocked Charlie from seeing the crate. Rudy began to dig in it, and Mallory turned to face Charlie.

“Rudy’s going to pick two objects from the crate. You’re going to pick one,” he said. Charlie shook his head slightly before stopping himself, changing it to a nod. Rudy set a thin black wooden stick on the workbench, along with a knife.

“Go on, then. Pick one,” Mallory insisted. Charlie took a deep breath.

“The... whatever that is. That stick thing,” Charlie mumbled.

“It’s a cane,” Mallory remarked, picking it up. Rudy pulled out a pair of dice and threw them down.

“Seven,” he said.

Mallory looked into the camera before raising the cane and bringing it down on Charlie’s chest. Charlie hissed, and was given no time to recover between the next six hits. Each was worse than the last, and some drew blood. Charlie breathed heavily as he looked down at his chest. The new wounds added to the previous ones from last night. When he looked up, Rudy had set a pair of pliers next to the knife.

“Choose,” Mallory spat. Charlie considered the pliers. All he could imagine was his tooth getting ripped out. He decided to take his chance with the knife. Mallory spun it around in his fingers while Rudy rolled the dice.

“Four,” Rudy said. Mallory put the tip of the knife against Charlie’s left shoulder, then dragged it down, applying light pressure. Charlie clenched his teeth as his skin was cut. Mallory moved the blade to his other shoulder and made an identical cut before putting it against his right cheek.

Charlie squeezed his eyes shut as the blade dug in. Finally, Mallory made one last slice on his sternum. Charlie watched the blood slowly trickle out of the cuts and drip down his body. The last item added to the workbench was a piece of cloth.

“What is that?” Charlie asked.

“Choose it and find out,” Rudy replied.

“Um... alright. That, then,” Charlie said.

“Two. Dammit,” Rudy said after rolling the dice. Mallory picked up the cloth and wrapped it over Charlie’s eyes.

“What’s the number mean?” Charlie asked.

“You get to wear it for two hours,” Mallory answered.

Charlie exhaled through his nose as Mallory walked away from him. Rudy moved in front of him to cut the zip ties from his ankles, resting his hand on Charlie’s knee as he bent down. Charlie kicked his leg up to get him to move his hand away. Rudy laughed as he dug his nails in and cut the zip ties with his other hand. He moved to Charlie’s back and cut him lose.

Charlie stood up and spun around, blindly throwing his fist at Rudy. He managed to land a hit right to his cheek. Rudy shoved him, and he tripped backwards over the chair before ending up on the ground.

“What the hell?” Mallory questioned.

“He hit me!” Rudy exclaimed.

“Well, suck it up,” Mallory replied. He lifted Charlie back to his feet and lead him out of the garage. He then guided him down the stairs and over to the wall. Charlie could hear a chain rattling, and Mallory slid the collar around so the loop was at the back. Charlie coughed as it choked him slightly. Then, Mallory attached the chain to the loop.

“This is what he was working on,” Mallory explained, “He attached a little hook to the wall so I could keep you in place.” Charlie reached up and tugged the chain to get a sense of how long it was. Rudy roughly grabbed his arms and pulled them behind his back again, rejoining them together with another zip tie.

“So you don’t take the blindfold off,” he said, his voice a vicious tone.

“Should we order lunch?” Mallory asked.

“Oh god, yes. I’m starving,” Rudy replied. They ordered something for delivery, and Charlie could hear glasses being moved.

“None for me, thanks. I’m a bit sick of being hungover,” Mallory said. The two discussed business related things by the bar. Charlie didn’t care to listen. He sat down on the carpet and zoned out.

Their food soon arrived and they ate at the bar. Based on the amount of liquid being poured, Charlie estimated that Rudy was on his fifth drink by the time they finished. His speech was slurred, and it was obvious by the tone of Mallory’s voice that he was becoming annoyed.

“I’m going to wash these dishes,” Mallory said, “I’ll be back in a moment.” Charlie became nervous. He hated being around Rudy, anyway, but now, he was alone with him. His heavy drunken footsteps moved around the room in a seemingly random way. Charlie listened closely until he could hear him breathing in front of him.

“You think you’re a tough little shit, don’t you?” He growled, roughly grabbing Charlie’s chin. Charlie jerked his head away and kicked his legs out, managing to land a kick to Rudy’s shin.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Charlie spat. He could smell the alcohol emanating from him. Rudy smacked him hard before stumbling away into a different part of the basement.

Mallory called him upstairs soon after. Charlie breathed a sigh of relief once he was finally alone. The stinging pain from the various cuts and welts made them impossible to ignore. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to find a position that didn’t hurt. Mallory returned, alone, after awhile.

“Guess what? The camera died right after I began filming,” he said.

“Please don’t make me do it again,” Charlie mumbled.

“I won’t. Not today, at least,” Mallory replied, “Rudy’s going to nap off the alcohol before he leaves. Then, I’ve got a few ideas as to what we can do later.”

He ruffled his fingers through Charlie’s hair before leaving. Charlie ended up falling asleep from the physical exhaustion, his head slumped forward as much as the collar allowed.

Fandom: Original Characters

[faultyparagonfiction]

Fair Game Master Fic List

A friend of mine who is newer to RWBY Fair Game asked me where they should start in my FG fics. As a reminder, all my Fair Game fics can be found here:

RWBY Fair Game series

but since that might be a little overwhelming with so many works (I’ve... written a lot of FG since I watched V7 in April...) so here's a quick master list (these are not all of them) of my works:

Most Popular Completed (on AO3):

jigsaws and pieces we made to fit  Rating: Teen Chapters: 20/20 Words: 41085 Synopsis: Clover unintentionally becomes an uncle to all of the children who reside under Uncle Qrow's wing. It's not what he thought would happen, but when you fall in love with your Huntsman partner, the kids are a package deal. Set during V7.

Corvus Rating: Mature Chapters: 30/30 Words: 45198 Synopsis: Clover has only ever had one 'pet': a crow he had rescued for a few weeks when he was a student in Atlas Academy. Now that Qrow Branwen and his flock have come to Atlas, almost 15 years, later, the bird is back at his window. Clover is not ready to save it this time, though. Set during V7, focusing on Qrow's recovery from alcoholism. 

Cameo Lover  Rating: Teen Chapters: 16/16 Words: 18162 Synopsis: Qrow and Clover's interactions throughout Volume 7 fleshing out their relationship from Clover's POV. Canon compliant.

a crow and his trinkets  Rating: Teen Chapters: 7/7 Words: 9585 Synopsis: Clover falls in love with Qrow as he explores the meaning behind each piece of Qrow's jewelry, leading to some grave misunderstandings. Set during V7.

touch (scintillas) Rating: Explicit Chapters: 45/45 Words: 39615 Synopsis: Qrow is touch-starved, and Clover is happy to give him whatever he needs. Set during V7. Contains explicit sexual content (my one story which does, smh) 

Other Personal Faves:

Home to Roost  Rating: Teen Chapters: 12/12 Words: 18411 Synopsis: Modern Publishing AU. Clover Ebi, a new editor in a small publishing firm, dreams of the day he can meet his favourite author, the mysterious, reclusive Qrow Branwen. Before that, though, he's got to not kill his handsome, loud, irritating red-eyed neighbour.

Perfect Storm  Rating: Teen Chapters: 4/4 Words: 10210 Podfic available here! Synopsis: Modern Soulmate AU. Clover and Qrow have very different backgrounds, but they both share one thing in common; they both are terrified of soulmates. Going to Patch during a storm might change that.

shimmer and shine, strawberry blonde boy  Rating: General Chapters: 1/1 Words: 1508 Podfic available here! Synopsis: Qrow falls in love with Clover slowly but surely, because Clover reminds him of home. Set during V7.

Currently Updating Fics (follow me for updates!):

Way Off Track  Rating: Teen (may change to M in the future) Synopsis: Modern AU. Clover Ebi is captivated by the one beautiful thing he has seen thus far in the wretched, dreary city of Vale: a handsome, red-eyed stranger he sees hungover on his commute.

May Fortune Guide Us  Rating: Teen Synopsis: Medieval Fantasy AU. Sir Clover Ebi, Knight of Mantle, is tasked with killing a dangerous shapeshifter which has been attacking the citizens of a small Valean island. What he finds instead is the handsome, albeit depressed Qrow Branwen, and a mission which is wildly different than that which he set out upon.

Bite Me, Pretty Boy  Rating: Mature Synopsis: Modern Paranormal AU. Clover Ebi is saved from sure death by Qrow Branwen- if you can count being turned into a vampire as 'saving' him. Too bad Clover's a terrible vampire, and Qrow is tasked with the biggest challenge of his afterlife: keeping this idiot alive.

i'll pray at your feet (as long as you let me)  Rating: General Synopsis: Farming AU. After suffering a terrible injury, Clover retires from the Atlesian military and takes over his late grandfather's farm on Anima, where he meets a lovely rural community and a beautiful god of misfortune who slowly restores Clover's faith in the gods.

Lying on the Moon  Rating: Teen Synopsis: Slightly Futuristic AU, inspired by the 2013 film, "Her", although it deviates greatly. Clover Ebi is working through the heartache caused by his divorce by focusing on his career writing letters. He's not doing well- that is, at least, until he downloads a new personal assistant AI. The QROW model will change his life.

footprints in the carpet Rating: Mature Synopsis: Qrow will always hate Clover, he thinks as he realizes the implications behind Clover’s Semblance. He will never forgive Clover’s luck. -Enemies to Lovers fic. Set in V7.

written in the stars Rating: Teen Synopsis: Transistor AU. Qrow just wants to find a way to save Clover after he is stabbed by Harbinger, but Remnant is crumbling with the Grimm invasion, and the Circle grows ever-closer. He doesn’t need his voice back. He just wants to not be alone again.

Break My Fall Rating: Mature Synopsis: Qrow and Clover have the worst start imaginable, but amidst Qrow’s desperation for solace amidst his journey to sobriety, he is willing to do whatever it takes- even if that means using Clover. Similar in tone to Corvus and touch (scintillas), so if you enjoy those two, you’ll like this one. Set in V7.

After the Winter Rating: Teen Synopsis: Modern Hospital AU. Yang finds solace in another patient in the hospital she is staying in, Taiyang finds solace in the memory of those he’s loved the most, and Qrow finds solace in the arms of one of Yang’s nurses. FG, Freezerburn, Catmeleon, Nuts and Dolts.

Infamous to Infallible Rating: Teen Synopsis: Medieval Fantasy Isekai. Social media manager Clover Ebi gets transported to the fantasy world of Remnant, where he, in the body of Sir Clover of Mantle, has no choice but to become the henchman of the Reaper. It’s a good thing he’s really good with PR- he’s going to make Qrow Branwen more popular than King Ironwood, because his life depends on it.

This list will be updated as time goes on and fics are finished/added! Hope this helps <3 Let me know if you check any of these out, I’m always happy to chat with readers!

[unstable-fucko-boingo]

i will be okay but i’m currently experiencing drunk-hungover-post-weed-sleep-deprivation-nutrition-starved-anxiety-ridden-hell-world-financial-fear-pain-death so that’s why i am ripping my skin off in my mind. like itll be ok though dw

help girl! there is a freakish hungry evil disgusting horrific vermin parasite wretched horrible screeching raging beast of torn red bruised bleeding ripped flaming seething wailing screaming pain-anger-betrayal-fear-loss living in my body!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA

[besidemethewholedamntime]

hullo! if you’re still taking intimacy prompts, 49 please :)))

of course! I’m so sorry it took me longer than I meant it to. Thank you so much for prompting me, and I hope you enjoy <3

49. Taking care of them when they’re ill + Fitzsimmons

i think it’s called love 

{Read on Ao3 if you’d like to!} or you can read it all here:)

Fitz’s body is entirely too heavy and he can’t find the energy to even lift his head when he hears the front door of his flat open and then shut, though he winces at the slamming of it in the frame, only to instantly regret it. Even when there’s footsteps along the laminate floor in the living room and the hall, and his bedroom door swimming open, he can’t find the will to move. He hopes that, if it is a murderer, they’ll do him a favour and just kill him outright, saving him from the mortal hell he finds himself trying to just breathe through.

“Well, well, well,” a voice says. “Look at the state of you.”

It’s not a murderer, unfortunately. It’s Jemma, and she’s sounding far too happy. A murderer might have been preferable.

“Ungghh,” he groans, not even opening his eyes. For a moment a bolt of fear runs through him – is he even dressed? – before he feels the softness of the duvet and his heart slides back down his throat and into his chest. “I’m ill.”

“I can see that.” He can just imagine her looking disapprovingly at his state, standing at the bottom of the bed as she probably is. “What happened?”

“Yelling,” is what he manages to get out. “Bobbi was yelling at Hunter and then he was yelling at Daisy and then Daisy was yelling at… me? And then Mack yelled at all of us.”

“Well it’s never a good night if Mack starts yelling at you.” The bottom of his bed dips slightly as he imagines she sits down on it. “You’re in quite the state.”

“Uh-huh. I dunno what happened after all the yelling.”

“I thought Scotsmen were supposed to be able to handle their alcohol.”

He’d really like to give her a full Fitz glare, but all that he’s able to manage is a furrow of his brow and even that makes his stomach flip. “That’s a really unfair stereotype.”

“But entirely true in your case.”

It’s a fair point, and something he frequently boasts about when he has a few in his system, but he hopes she doesn’t bring it up. He moans into his pillow again as he recognises the tase of something in the back of his throat.

“Daisy made me drink wine.”

Jemma inhales sharply. “Oh, yes, I could see how that would put you in this state. Your kryptonite of alcoholic beverages.”

The amused sympathy in her tone means that he can’t resist cracking open one eye. Thankfully the curtains are closed and so the light in the room is bearable to his sensitive retinas, yet it’s not so dark that he can’t make Jemma out, as clearly as ever, sitting on the bottom of the bed. She looks far too fresh for his current state, and he knows it’s only her empathy that’s keeping her from gloating about it.

“You’re looking proud of herself,” he says, opening the other eye and gingerly turning to face her properly. “Bet you’re glad you didn’t come out.”

“Well the paper that needed editing was just too much fun to miss out on,” she laughs. “But no. I was sad I missed it until I saw you lying here.”

He licks his lips, mouth feeling dry. “Why are you here again?”

“Daisy and Hunter sent me many videos of the shenanigans you all got up to and there were far too many bottles of wine on the table which I just knew someone would make you drink so they could hear you sing and so,” she holds up a reusable shopping bag, “I brought you some things I thought you could do with this morning.”

“Jemma…” he sighs with gratitude, and something else which he doesn’t dare name. “You are the best.”

She tilts her head. “I’m going to remember that when you call me the absolute worst for leaving that anatomy journal open on your desk again.”

“Hey,” he struggles to sit up, the queasy feeling in his stomach momentarily dissipating. “You can’t just leave those kinds of pictures out, it’s-”

“It’s my job and you shouldn’t have looked at if you knew it was going to make you sick. You’re always doing-”

“-so unfair - it was my desk!”

“-one time I needed something-”

“-called you the supreme worse, not absolute, you just-”

“-so picky, honestly-”

“-dead things, Jemma!”

“Ugh, Fitz!”

It’s a decisive ugh Fitz. One to end them all. She picks a can of lemonade out of the bag and holds it out to him. His ultimate hangover cure. “Do you want this or not?”

“I do.” He takes it from her, and tries not to wince when the sound of the can opening goes straight through his head. “Maybe you’re not the worst.”

“Why thank you.” And then she grins. “Though you do look the worst right now.”

“Thanks for that,” he grumbles, taking a sip of the lemonade.

“Oh, come on, Fitz.” She brings out her homemade sandwich, the only thing he can eat being as severely hungover as he is. “You know you love me really.”

It’s all he can do not to choke on his juice. “Mhmm,” he hums non-comittally, lucky that Jemma’s gone back to her bag so that she can’t see his face, which he is just sure has his true feelings emblazoned all over it.

“I brought you some box sets that we can watch together,” she says, head still in the bag. “I also have your ice-cream for when you get to the craving sweet things stage. Oh, and I have a voucher for pizza we can use because we both know you’ll be absolutely starving later.”

He frowns at the suggestion that she’ll be here all day. Not because he doesn’t want her to stay, but because there’s a part of him that just can’t quite believe she does. “You don’t have to babysit me, you know.”

Head coming up, she blinks at him as though she doesn’t quite comprehend. “What ae you on about? Of course I’m not babysitting you.”

“Just saying, you don’t have to stay if you’ve got more exciting plans. I’ll be alright.” There’s suddenly a very vicious somersaulting of his stomach and he grimaces as he swallows. “Eventually.”

“Fitz, it’s a Saturday. A day that I usually spend with you anyway, and being with you and getting to make fun of you whilst you’re in such a state is even better.” She smiles, patting him on the leg. “Trust me, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

His stomach flips for a second time, but it’s got nothing to do with the alcohol.

Jemma stands up, taking the bag with her. “I’m going to go put Doctor Who in the DVD player and get the living room all set up. You finish your lemonade and then go for a shower.” She wrinkles her nose. “You smell like Hunter’s after the last time he broke up with Bobbi.”

“Oh, God,” he groans. He feels like he might just be able to handle a shower, the sugary goodness now replacing the wine in his veins. “Alright, yeah. I can do that.”

“I’m sure you can. I’ll put your sandwich on a plate for you.”

She’s almost out the door when Fitz says, “Wait, Jemma!”

Her head pops back around. “Everything alright?”

“Just…” suddenly his cotton-wool mouth is back. “Just thanks, for this. I appreciate it.”

“Oh, Fitz, of course. You’re my best friend in the world, and I know you’d do the same for me.”

She smiles and then leaves, and instantly he flops back down onto his pillow, trying to suppress a groan that he knows she’d be able to hear.

You know you love me really.

The words play on a loop in his mind. He’s never been very good at hiding his feelings, and it’s a wonder she still doesn’t know just how close to the truth she really came.

[pastpatientlywaitingforimagines]

Dragonology Miniseries (2) | Charlie Weasley x femHufflepuff!Reader

WC: 2184

A/N: I know I said Christmas fic was next but I’ve been listening to Black And White from Niall’s new album on repeat since it came out and I was stricken with inspiration. There’s still more to come from the miniseries so if you want to be on the taglist let me know!

You can read the main series here, and the first miniseries fic here

DRAGONOLOGY FAQ

WARNINGS: KISSING (like so much it’s kinda gross), alcohol

*Present*

Charlie was pressing sloppy kisses near your ear as you fumbled for the key to the small cottage you were renting for the weekend. Twelve hours of drinking, dancing, and celebrating had you both tipsy, tired, and jubilant. Just as you finally turned the knob, his calloused hands grabbed your face and pressed your lips to his roughly. You giggled into his kiss, grabbing his loosened tie and tugging him gently across the threshold.

*Hour 1*

Charlie grinned as your hand slipped into his. You were standing in a tent full of your friends and family- well, most of them at least. The war had been over for a few months, but the heavy sting of loss was still prevalent in the wizarding community. You knew there was a large, Fred-shaped hole in this whole celebration, but Charlie had insisted that hosting the event would help with the healing.

Putting the tip of his wand to his throat, Charlie started speaking to the crowd in front of you.

“(y/n) and I wanted to thank you all for joining us today. We know that things have been rough lately, and we wanted to give you all a reason and a place to enjoy yourselves. What we haven’t told most of you is that (y/n) and I have been married for almost four years now. We had a small ceremony before we got swept up into the war, and promised each other that we would have a party after it was all over to celebrate our love. It seems like everyone needs extra love, and we want to share ours with you all. So drink, dance, and be merry! Celebrate the love you have, and the love we have. Thank you.”

Everyone in attendance applauded, the band started playing, and the party started. Charlie let go of your hand and slid his hand around your waist.

“How was that?” he murmured.

“It was perfect, look how happy everyone is,” Charlie didn’t look, instead his eyes were locked on yours that sparkled as you scanned the crowd, “I can’t believe we’ve been married for almost four years. It seems like a lifetime ago but also like yesterday.”

“We’ve been together for twelve years now.  In two years I’ll have spent half of my life loving you.”

“Handsome and he can do math, has someone put a ring on that finger yet?”

Pressing a kiss to the top of your head, Charlie laughed, “only the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Before you could respond, the first of a long line of guests stepped up to congratulate you.

*Present*

Though Charlie could have kept kissing you forever, you eventually pulled away to sink down into an armchair, finally tugging your shoes off your feet.

“Never again,” you grumbled, tossing them across the room. Charlie leaned over the back of the armchair, peppering your face with more kisses.

“Not your shoe of choice?” he asked as he stepped away and towards the kettle sitting on the stove.

“I prefer my work shoes,” you started fiddling with the buttons on the back of your white dress, undoing them one by one.

“I prefer your work shoes too,” Charlie reappeared by your ear, his whisper sending a chill down your spine as his fingers replaced yours.

*Hour 3*

After a seemingly eternity greeting and thanking guests, you and Charlie finally found yourself seated, passing an almost empty glass of firewhiskey between you. Callum, Tonks, and a few other friends from your Hogwarts days were also at the table, reminiscing on your days at the wizarding school. Tonks was howling with laugher after one of Charlie’s former roommates made a joke about the frequency of your late night returns to your respective dormitories.

“We should have known that we’d end up here at your wedding,”

“You doubted us?” your question was accompanied by a sly grin.

“At first, yeah. Neither of you seemed like the dating type and you were always… happy with each other,” Tonks scrunched up her nose. Charlie’s roommate nodded in agreement, then spoke when he noticed the matching expressions on your and Charlie’s faces.

“Neither of you had any doubts, did you?”

“When did you know?” you asked your husband, taking the glass of firewhiskey from his hands and taking a sip.

“I always knew. I fell in love with the way you loved when you talked about teaching salamanders manners. You said it like it was the most important task in the world, not as a hinderance or frustration. You genuinely cared about the wellbeing of those fire salamanders, and it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. When did you know?”

“The day before our first match against each other after we became friends, when we decided our friendship wouldn’t get in the way of our Quidditch careers and that anything was fair game. You trusted me to take care of myself and didn’t see the need to go easy on me. Showed me you saw me as tough,” you took another sip of the whiskey.

“You’re the toughest person I know,” Charlie pulled the glass from your hands and poured what was left of the amber liquid into his mouth.

*Present*

One of Charlie’s sweaters now adorned your frame and a hot cup of tea was in your hands as you curled into Charlie’s side on the sofa.

“Time for bed once your tea is gone?” Charlie asked as you stifled a yawn.

“The sun is about to come up, might as well watch it rise since we’re still awake this early.”

“You’ll have to wake me when it’s happening then, I’m so comfortable and you’re so warm,” his eyes closed as his voice trailed off. You reached a hand up to poke his cheek, laughing quietly when he slowly opened one eye to look at you before breaking into a toothy grin.

“I think this is my second favorite time of day,” you said into the silence.

“Only your second? What’s your first, love?”

“Late afternoon, especially if it’s sunny.”

“Why’s that?”

“It’s a good time for a lot of things. You could have a snack, or do some work, or go for a walk, or take a nap. It’s also a good time for a cup of tea,” you mused.

“Any time is a good time for a cup of tea in your opinion.”

“I’m glad a married a man who knows me so well.”

You were quiet again for a while, only aware that the other was conscious by Charlie’s constantly moving thumb against your side and your occasional movements to bring your cup to your lips. When the sun finally started to peek over the horizon, you gasped quietly.

“This is perfect,” you glanced over to your husband, “you’re perfect.”

Charlie’s smile was sadder than you anticipated.

“What if I’m not?”

“I think I would know after loving you for thirteen years. What’s wrong?”

“The past four years of our marriage have felt like a dream. Well, a nightmare, really. Now that the war is over and we’ve had our party it feels like we can actually start being a married couple. Get a bigger house, a cat, maybe even have kids. And even though those are all good, happy things and the war and death and disaster is behind us, I’m still bloody terrified. What if I’m not able to give you a picket fence and two and a half little red-haired kids?”

You set your cup down on the coffee table.

“Then we don’t have a picket fence and two and a half kids. We’ve never really been conventional, Charlie. You’re all I need to be happy. On second thought, you and dragons are all I need to be happy. I have both of those things, the rest is just a positive extra. It’s ok to be scared of what the future holds, a year ago we didn’t know if we would even have a future.”

*Hour 6*

The band had transitioned to a slower song, leaving you and Charlie no choice but to share a proper first dance.

Embracing each other and surrounded by other couples dancing, you were finally able to have a quiet moment together since the beginning of the party.

“You don’t wear white very often,” Charlie observed.

“If I did it wouldn’t stay white for very long so I usually stay away, should I start wearing it more?”

“You look beautiful tonight, but I think colors suit you better. Shows off your gorgeous personality,” a soft kiss was shared between you.

“I can’t believe we actually made it here,” you said, eyes flickering around to the guests surrounding you.

“Me neither,” Charlie breathed, “I’m not going to lie, I was almost convinced I was going to lose you.”

“Why?”

“You’re too good of a person, you’re a helper. I haven’t slept well these past few years because I kept thinking you’d get yourself killed trying to help someone in danger.”

“I haven’t slept well these past few years because I kept thinking you’d get yourself killed trying  to help someone, too. Bravery and loyalty can be dangerous, Weasley.”

Charlie pulled you closer to his chest, “I’m only loyal to you, Mrs. Weasley.”

*Present*

You woke up still on the sofa, nuzzled into Charlie’s chest. You smiled contently, tightening your arm around him and falling back asleep until you felt him rouse hours later.

“It’s almost late afternoon,” you felt his chest rumble as he spoke.

“My favorite time of day,” you smiled as you sat up, stretching your arms out.

“I am starving,” Charlie stood once you were off of him, taking the few steps over to the kitchen.

“Do you want help cooking?” you offered, though the sun was shining through the windows right onto your current spot and felt warm as it hit your skin. With your eyes closed to soak up as much sunlight as possible, you didn’t see Charlie’s loving gaze as he paused for a moment to admire you.

“You keep enjoying that sunshine, beautiful. I think I’ve got it handled over here.”

Charlie was a decent cook having learned from his mum, but in his tired, slightly hungover state he didn’t have it handled and you ended up sitting on the floor of the kitchen eating some fresh fruit after putting out the multiple fires that he had accidentally started.

“Have I told you how much I love you recently?” you giggled.

“Considering we had a whole party to celebrate our love last night… no, you haven’t said it and I’m starting to worry,” Charlie’s feigned concern sent you into another fit of giggles and your joined laugher filled up the small, sunny cottage.

*Hour 9*

“We’d like to thank you all again for coming to celebrate love with us this evening. It means the world to us that you’re all here. As we start to wrap up, Charlie and I wanted to share with you the vows we wrote for each other when we first got married. I’m going to go first.

Charlie, I spent a long time trying to write something profound for my vows, until I realized that the words that described my feelings for you were much simpler than I originally thought. I love you and I trust you. I have loved you and I have trusted you for so long that it’s second nature, and I promise to keep loving you and keep trusting you in every challenge and blessing that we encounter together. There isn’t anyone else I would want by my side in any aspect of my life, and I promise to cherish your companionship as we step into our future. I anticipate there will be losses and pain, but you will not lose me, and together we can help heal with the strength of our love. Here’s to forever.”

The first time you had read these vows, Molly Weasley had immediately burst into tears. Now, you noticed many people were wiping their eyes, though there seemed to be more smiles and hope for the future than your small gathering so many years ago.

Charlie took a deep breath, and then began reading his vows.

“(y/n). My sweet, beautiful, amazing (y/n). I want to promise you a grand life of dragons and quidditch and fire salamanders with impeccable manners, but ultimately that is not our reality. The world isn’t that perfect and as we’ve grown older and more experienced I think we’ve come to realize that. Despite all this, you’ve taught me to focus on the smaller positives, like a cup of tea when you can’t sleep. So, even though I can’t promise you Hufflepuff winning the quidditch house cup or a pile of dragon babies in the spring, I can promise I will be there for you whenever you need me. I promise to care for you when you can’t, and admire you when you can. And most importantly, I promise that I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”

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