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dollarbin · 5 months ago

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Dollar Bin #37:

Michael Penn's March

Here's another story. Again, mostly true.

In 8th grade I got a bad case of Chicken Oak.

Never heard of Chicken Oak? It's what you get when you are a pimply, insecure and pale skinned 8th grader who is forever crazy about a girl named Anjanette and you get a bad case of poison oak from fooling around outside your grandparents' ranch house in the San Gabriel mountains, a case so bad you have to miss school and spend your days instead slathering your pubescent 90 pound body with oatmeal-type concoctions which do not help and you can't sleep for days at a time and are starting to climb out your bedroom window at 2am and wander around your neighborhood while listening to your poorly-dubbed-from-the-library copy of The Cure's Disintegration on your primitive walkman and so your parents, concerned about your illness and Robert Smith's whole vibe, take you to Urgent Care and have you shot up with steroids to utterly silence your raging immune system but, little did you or anyone else know, your younger siblings were all just exposed to the Chicken Pox and you were born in the 70's, long before there was a vaccine, and you've never had that ridiculous childhood disease, so a few days later you've added a disabled immune system's mammoth version of the pox to the oak and you're no longer a pimply and insecure 8th grader; rather you are the elephant man in a full blown teenage health crisis: one eye is literally swollen over into a giant pulsating wound and every inch of you is leaning into shivering panic.

That's the Chicken Oak, folks: a formative illness indeed.

It takes a month of living in the late 80's with the condition to discover that at 2am some vampire takes over control of MTV, removes the Fine Young Cannibals from the rotation and plays obscure stuff instead, the kind of music you'll never encounter on the Top 20 Countdown with this guy.

And that's how you discover Michael Penn.

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I loved this song from the first moment I saw the video, and I spent the rest of my sleepless month with the poison poxs trying to catch it on air again.

Part of the attraction was its illusive (at least to 14 year old me) lyrics. Penn struck me as a sensitive and bashful poet with a record contract who was terribly alluring to all thoughtful ladies; but he also read deep books and sang passionately about both topics - he basically embodied my ideal future.

I knew about Romeo in a basic sense: he was one of Shakespeare's teenagers and he surely gave some big deal speeches in a play I'd never seen nor read; he was the kinda guy who climbed his lady friends' balconies and died tragically for love, just like I too might one day die for the love of sweet Anjanette, except I'd probably never see her again because I was surely disfigured for life and therefore would soon be forced to relocate to a cave in Brazil where I'd live under an assumed name and terrify children from the village.

But who the hell was Heathcliff? Judging by the video and the song's overall sweet vibe I felt pretty sure this way cooler brother to Sean wasn't singing about the Garfield rip off.

I wanted to track Michael Penn down and claim him as my new and now surely, after my month of isolation, only friend: what books should I read, Michael? How do you make your hair look so cool? Why doesn't my six string sound like yours? And is that a drum machine playing in your song? Are drum machines even ethical, Michael? Should I get black jeans? If so, where? Help me, Michael!

Before my month of misery was up I weaseled my anxious mother into going to Sam Goody without me and buying me March, Penn's debut album, on tape. Then I played it nonstop.

The whole record sounded homemade and majestic, a fitting soundtrack addition alongside the aforementioned Disintergration and Shooting Rubberbands at the Stars for the day long bikes rides I began to take as my entire face crusted over and started to harden up, like a rotten egg regrowing its shell.

Every song seemed like an entire world on its own, the melancholic yet catchy choruses waking up bits of what would become my future self. I knew what it was like to sleep on a bed of nails;

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I too wanted a place in the brave new world.

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I began to heal as Spring drew to a close: the sores became scabs; I was hideous and doomed, but no longer a literal danger to others. I watched midnight MTV out of habit, not necessity, and No Myth fell out of the 2am rotation.

I pictured my return to school with dread: my friends would have moved on; they were nice guys so they'd pretend to welcome me back, but I'd slip away, leaving them relieved: the disfigured can claim no place in a middle school. And so I planned to make my way to the far end of the school's middle level at breaks, the spot on campus where the deepest misfits and poor special ed kids gravitated so as to rock in place, weeping, drooling and laughing without cause. They'd be glad to have me. For the rest of my life. That cave in Brazil was just a pipe dream.

But then, miracles unfolded.

First, Michael Penn returned to MTV for a second split second. Seriously: I really believe this video was only shown once on the network. It was 2am and I was the only person watching. Join me, won't you? Let's give it its second showing of all time:

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Okay, I hear you. Jimi Hendrixs Michael is not. And the actor brought in to air strum the bass is an embarrassment. And yes, there is no explanation whatsoever for the creep in the foreground, and I cannot explain any of the plot here to you.

But come on: check out that lady defying gravity! Note how nothing of substance musically occurs in the last 30 seconds; they just keep playing the same, slow and sweet keyboard hook. And admit it: Michael looks more like Hugh Grant's sibling than Sean's. Maybe there was a mix up in the hospital or something. Wow, I still really love this stuff.

When that first and only showing of the video ended I stood up, defiant. I turned MTV off and, basically, never watched it again. Suddenly it seemed like there were more important things to do.

And when I climbed on my bike a day or two later, ready for the first return to school, that same sense still surged in me. I didn't know what to call it, but it felt good. I picked up my buddy Matt on the ride in and joyfully told him to not worry about it when he asked what the plan was for, you know, explaining my face. Being a thoroughly excellent human being, he trusted me and asked no further questions.

"Yeah, I've got herpes," I happily declared to all 614 of the 8th graders who stared at me that day. "I've got it pretty bad!"

Here's a secret, Dollar Binners, a secret you are welcome to pass on to anyone you know who's still in middle school: when faced with teenage adversity it's time to go big and be weird or just fold up and whimper. I did the former, and I've tried doing it ever since.

Matt, and the few other people who mattered, stuck with me that day. In fact they thought my whole approach was pretty awesome. Together we gave up on being popular and settled for joyful instead. We turned up Michael Penn and embraced our own individual selves, scabs and all.

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P.S. As you can tell from the stock photo in the opening, this is a record I don't yet own. And my 80's tape is long, long gone. Someday I will come across a copy of March in the Dollar Bin. It will be tattered and unloved, full of skips and crunches. It will be wonderful.

#michael penn #chicken oak #middle school #Youtube #mtv #top 20 countdown

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drinksumtea-blog · 2 years ago

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A Dreadful Week

By: Aravellah Cervantes

Weak body. Redness of the skin. Vomit. Rashes. One of the many fever-related symptoms I never thought I'd encounter during high school. How would you imagine if you found out you only had a count of 44 platelets left in your body, but you survived? Every time the word 'dengue' appears, it takes me back to the past, still vivid in my mind. Dengue, the fever that made me dread whenever I stopped by the hospital and that I desired would never return.

I recalled that it was July, and the weather was sunny with a mix of chilly air caused by recent rain. A typical day at school except for the afternoon, when a headache suddenly struck me. My mother initially thought it was just an ordinary headache that could be treated with rest and medication. After one day of observation, the headache remained constant, making me significantly weaker and tired, and my temperature remained at 38 °C, and Mom brought me to the hospital. The doctor initially suspected dengue because most patients handled at that time were suffering from the virus. Even the ward where I was confined had all dengue virus patients, with two teenagers in the intensive-care unit (ICU).

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), Dengue is a viral infection transmitted to humans through the bite of infected mosquitoes. The primary vectors that transmit the disease are Aedes aegypti mosquitoes and, to a lesser extent, Ae. albopictus. Dengue commonly appears in tropical and subtropical climates, mostly in urban and semi-urban areas. Sometimes it is hard to believe how a tiny insect like a mosquito leeching off human blood could have a tremendous effect on the body.

According to data from the governor's office, there were 9,392 annual dengue cases in the province of Iloilo in 2016. It was designated as the third year in the three-year cycle of the dengue upsurge. The doctor informed my mother that I only have 44 platelets in my body, which means that I'll be prone to bleeding, which could be fatal. Afterward, he advised me to refrain from brushing my teeth and to avoid foods with hues (such as brown and red) that may be mistaken for blood when I have my discharge. I'm still relieved that I did not have a blood transfusion, as this is something I never wanted to undergo.

Several symptoms appeared during my stay, including headaches, rashes, muscle pain, and lethargy. To monitor me, the nurses had to draw blood every six hours. While fighting dengue, I also had a menstrual period and a potassium deficiency, which was undesirable. I've lost my appetite; the soft meal my mother buys for me, and even the hospital ration, aren't helping because I vomit between every bite. I depended primarily on the dextrose drip. My mother was very concerned about me; all I could do was lie in bed, hoping and praying that I would recover quickly. It was my first time experiencing that phenomenon, and maybe the fear and anxiety of thinking that I may be on the verge of life added to my burden. It was pretty frightening because, to this day, there is no cure, only prevention, and alternatives. The doctor advised that because a patient suffering from dengue fever would lose appetite and vomit frequently, especially when ingesting, it is best to drink plenty of fluids to prevent dehydration.

I was stressed out every day during my stay, a depressing situation. I can see why some people despise staying much longer. In my case, I had to spend time in the hospital for around ten days due to some circumstances, but I surmounted them all. My body also underwent significant changes. When I finally returned home, it took me at least three days to regain my strength, particularly in my legs, which had been unable to walk due to muscle pain and discomfort impacted by dengue. According to WHO, "Recovery from infection is believed to provide lifelong immunity against that serotype. However, cross-immunity to the other serotypes after recovery is only partial and temporary. Subsequent infections (secondary infection) by other serotypes increase the risk of developing severe dengue" (Dengue and Severe Dengue, 2022). Although I had acquired antibodies from dengue, I am still prone to three more dengue viruses. The more times the virus appears in a person's body, the more dangerous its effect is on the body. Indeed, it was a tough battle.

Dengue fever is still a significant health concern and a threat to humanity. It is globally widespread and appears as a disease outbreak in almost all tropical regions at reasonable times and locations. Getting dengue fever wasn't what I had hoped for during my first two months of high school, but it changed my life. It made me more aware of my surroundings and made me take extra care of my body because I never know what lies ahead. Dengue fever may be different for some people than it was for me, but it is a fever that I would avoid for the entirety of my life. It took a toll on my physical, emotional, and mental health. It gave me a new perspective and made me realize that this virus is no small matter, especially since there remains no cure.

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REFERENCES:

Balita Halin Sa Kapitolyo. (2022, March 3). Gov. Arthur Defensor Jr. issued Executive Order No. 190 placing the entire province of Iloilo under Alert Level 5 Kontra Dengue. https://www.facebook.com/100064830275341/posts/pfbid023CsR84X9K9QXxLXfQrZKXZd3rTb6AY4YNjnvvms7CRTgvXVJYiqPhENwZcSWMeQMl/?mibextid=cr9u03

Dengue and severe dengue. (2022, February 14). https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/dengue-and-severe-dengue

#dengue #denguefever #mosquito #health #academic #awareness

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stewardofningishzida · 2 years ago

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In Memoriam: N.K.

N.K. was a supervisor who slowly became my friend over time. She worked in the local museum that I volunteered at. When I first started out, I was intimidated by her because I was shy and didn’t know how she would act towards some random teenager working in the museum. At first, she was polite and professional, handing me my manual so I could review policies and procedures. It was all business and nothing more.

Over the course of about a year with me working on the weekends, we got to know each other better. She was helpful and we gradually warmed up to each other. After the end of year 2, she saw that I was rather bored and lonely in the anthropology department. It didn’t have many visitors and I had already memorized everything in that sector. I would man my station and such, but with nobody there, I would simply wander and look at the exhibits over and over.

Whenever someone WAS there, I would give them the full tour and give as much information as possible while trying to be engaging so that everyone would learn something. Unfortunately, at one point, one of the older male visitors got a bit creepy with me and I had to report him to security. After that unpleasant encounter, I didn’t feel safe there anymore. N.K. stepped in and checked on me. Then, she arranged to re-assign me to the live animal exhibit because we had talked about my prospective college major and she knew that I liked biology. I was happy and relieved.

After adjusting to working there instead, N.K. would regularly check in with me and we got to know each other more. She was warm and kind. Since things went mostly smoothly in the live animal exhibit (besides the tarantula and snake incidents), I stayed there for years. At that point, I did volunteer work because I wanted to. My high school’s requirement had been met 2 years prior. I had gotten to know many of the museum staff and befriended many of them.

One day, I noticed that N.K. was using a walker. She wasn’t very old. Maybe only in her late 40’s or early 50’s. She had complained about leg cramps and her joints feeling weaker. I thought it was arthritis or something. So did N.K. She said that she was having a bit of trouble walking and the doctors were running tests to figure it out. Over the course of 2 months, she got worse and stayed in her office chair more. The diagnosis came: ALS, also known as Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis. It’s a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord. The survival rate is typically between 2 to 5 years. The rest of the staff and I were shocked. We did what we could to help keep things working smoothly and accommodate her.

Unfortunately, her case had been diagnosed after she had had it for a few months. There is no cure and the treatment only eases discomfort and gives a bit of extra time. We watched as she got worse and worse. Her case progressed rapidly. Within a year, she could no longer come to work. A few months after that, she passed away.

She was a sweet woman who knew how to run an efficient museum. Also, she did her best to make sure that everyone was comfortable and properly accommodated. Losing her was a sudden shock and felt throughout the community. N.K.’s fate was what drew me to neurology as a side interest/project even though my primary focus is immuno-oncology. One day, I genuinely hope that we’ll find a better treatment or even a cure for ALS. Rest in peace, N.K.

#real life #memorial #ALS

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corklen · 3 months ago

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Exploring an idea

I have written A LOT of angsty Farkle Minkus fanfiction throughout my teenage years. He was my vassal for exploring complex family structures and learning how to write good stories. He was a sponge for my ideas.

My main question in writing these kinds of stories was unpacking Farkle Minkus's family structure and how it has impacted him. Using that I would expand the stories into how it impacted his relationships, mental health and self image.

One possible idea for unpacking him within the Minkus family that I never touched was if his father died. I did write one with his mother's death but never with his father's.

Imagine, Farkle whom doesn't have that great of a relationship with his father finally express it. Not like in Money, but in a more volcanic way. Where his anger and pain starts spilling out.

Like he passes out in class and we can FINALLY address that pothole. But either of his parents are there and this makes Farkle really upset. So Farkle is kinda just stuck at the hospital, and the friend group tries in lots of silly ways to break into the hospital to see him. Finally Farkle is let out by his dad who had a communication breakdown with his mother and thought she had gotten him. Farkle is livid, yelling at his dad. Farkle refuses to stay at his house as he doesnt wanna talk to his dad and sleeps in Riley's closet (without Mr.Matthews knowing). When Mr.Matthews finds out, he forces Farkle to talk to his dad and his dad finally comes to his senses and decides to retire. This choice causes his parents to divorce but its seen in a positive light. Like maybe this relationship isnt healthy and we need to put our sons needs before our own wants and needs.

Farkle is happy and all is well. He feels loved by others (maybe not quite loving himself) but nonetheless life is great.... until his father dies of an unexplained heart condition reason.

His breakdown happens in 10th grade and his father's death happens in 11th grade. Farkle is shocked, upset and determine to find a the reason and cure for his father's death. He refuses to talk to his Mother as he blames her. Justly neurotic, he almost fails out of school and breaks up with Smackle.

This whole thing puts a strain of on the friend group. Lucas confronts Farkle as its been a couple months and he's still acting "normal". His causes a fight and a whole 'Texas Lucas Arch'. Riley chooses Farkle's side, saying they cant just let him go. Lucas and Riley break up, its only until the couple days before Senior year Farkle and Lucas are able to reconnect.

Senior year starting, Farkle's finally reconnecting with his mother and coming to terms with the lost of his dad. He works with Smackle to develop a drug that pretty solves what his dad died from (probably some super scienceity and rare heart disease). Farkle wants Smackle to be the face of the treatment drug, super sweet moment. He is no longer basing his self worth on academic achievement.

Farkle gets into every college, the whole dead dad and solving a rare heart disease is a golden ticket. But the rest of the gang aren't so lucky, expect for Riley who gets on the waitlist as Yale. Farkle decides to give up his spot to hopefully get Riley off the waitlist. Riley gets super mad at this and wants to get in by herself, so she writes an essay on a bay window on campus that connects to her own.

Riley ends up getting off the waitlist and learns that Farkle still had his spot. He had never called the school to give her his spot. This makes Riley realize how much Farkle cares about her and she's like "It's always been him."

Farkle gives a killer valedictorian speed, Smackle was also valedictorian but gave the speed to Farkle. Riley runs in late for some reason, and tells Farkle how much she loves him and how its always been him. They have a sweet kiss and everyone cheers.

Farkle and Riley both go to Yale and Maya goes to the small art school next to Yale. (Smackle doesnt go to college because she's too smart, Lucas goes to play baseball at Wake Forest and Zay gets into lacrosse at made up top lacrosse school).

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sophie-i-guess13 · 2 years ago

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Homemade Promptlist!

These are literally just song lyrics from my various Spotify playlists. You don’t need to send me a prompt to send me a request, but here’s some ideas if your looking for them!

Other writers; feel free to use these! I’d appreciate it if you mentioned where you got the prompt(s) from though! Have fun! <3

I’ll add more as I think of them- or if you felt like sending me some to put here *wink wink nudge nudge*

**prompts that involve “/�� can have very different vibes- let me know which lyrics in particular you’d like!

*sad yeehaw*

I wish I was a trusted man, but a trusted man is weak / the only thing worth trusting is some brass through crooked teeth / love it ain’t for taming, a disease that can’t be cured [ crooked teeth - zach bryan ]

What a home so sad and lone [ can the circle be unbroken - the Carter family ]

Well it seems like a month since I kissed my baby goodbye [ six days on the road - Dave Dudley ]

I said there’d be no sorrow / that I’d laugh when you walked away [ a little bitty tear - Burl Ives ]

You’ve got a way to keep me on your side [ I walk the line - Johnny Cash ]

I play my blues for the small town kids [ muddy water - The Deslondes ]

70’s and Up

I remember when she used to make a lot of noise / hoppin’ and a-boppin’ with the street corner boys [ I knew the bride when she used to rock n roll - Nick Lowe ]

Oh, what a night / Late December, back in ‘63 [December, 1963 - Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons ]

We may lose, we may win / but we will never be here again [ take it easy - The Eagles ]

It’s the only thing I could do half right, and it’s turned out all wrong, Ma [ look what they’ve done to my song - Melanie ]

Bye bye, miss american pie! [ American pie - Don McLean ]

Teenage ambitions you remember well / it was the heat of the moment [ heat of the moment - Asia ]

I only wish my words could convince myself that it just wasn’t real, but that’s not the way it feels [ operator - Jim Croce ]

Vintage

Oh won’t you stay / just a little bit longer? [ stay - Maurice Williams and The Zodiacs ]

I miss my baby and I feel so bad, guess my race is won / she’s the best girl I’ve ever had / I fought the law and the law won [ I fought the law - Buddy Holly ]

No woman’s worth crawling on the Earth [ walk like a man - the four seasons ]

Let’s twist again, like we did last summer / let’s twist again, like we did last year [ let’s twist again - Chubby Checker ]

Don’t care if you do / cause it’s understood / you ain’t got no money / you just ain’t no good [ hit the road Jack - Ray Charles ]

Indie

And it hardened like my heart did when you left town / but that’s all in the past now, gone with the wind [ cleopatra - The Lumineers ]

You told me a lie, fuck you for that / maybe when (s)he’s dead and gone I’ll get some sleep [ leader of the landslide - the lumineers ]

The bravest men return with darkened hearts and phantom pain [ la belle fleur sauvage - lord Huron ]

There’s a debt or two I owe you [ 20 long years - lord Huron ]

Lost in time and space, aimless drifting in a far off place / lost in a galaxy of cocktail bars / I guess she’s gone for good, she don’t call me like I thought she would / lost in time and space, aimless searching for a long lost face [ lost in time and space - Lord Huron ]

#soapie’s stuff #the outsiders #the outsiders fanfiction #prompt list #introductions

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n0bamak1s · 3 years ago

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lazy days - maki zenin x reader

request: “Could you maybe do a maki x reader fluff? Like maybe just a lazy day playing video games or something like that.” - @mvddison99

summary: after you shut off her alarm clock so she can get some rest, maki reluctantly agrees to a lazy day with you, and ends up enjoying it much more than expected. (genre: domestic-ish fluff, slice of life)

warnings: some swearing but it’s mostly just pure fluff!

word count: 2.7k

a/n: i did NOT plan to make it this long lol i’m just a sucker for writing maki! i didn’t really explicitly state what the reader and maki’s relationship is so it can be read as an established relationship or not depending on what you like! i had a ton of fun writing this so hopefully y’all like it! :)

maki zenin doesn’t do ‘lazy days’. not willingly, at least.

when you’d told inumaki of your plan to shut off her alarm clock to get her to sleep in and take a day off, he couldn’t help thinking you must have some kind of death wish to do that. you’d argue that you were staging an intervention in the name of self care. he knew the reason you’d gone to him with your idea was because he couldn’t talk any sense into you.

he also knew that you actually just wanted maki to take a day off so you’d have an excuse to hang out with her in your pajamas all day.

despite the countless times gojo would use a day off as an incentive during your missions, when you finished you’d always be greeted by the same sheepish smile and excuse as to why your day off would be pushed back. for a grown man, he sure was childish when it came to planning stuff. in contrast to the groans of disappointment that came in response from you, inumaki and panda, maki never seemed phased by the extra days you’d spend sparring in the blistering sun. while gojo moved his hands wildly as he apologized, she’d simply shrug and swing her weapon of choice over her shoulder with a bored expression on her face. gojo always seemed relieved when she’d interrupt his plea for forgiveness to a group of teenagers to ask him when the next mission was.

over the past two weeks or so, you’d begun to notice the semblance of exhaustion around maki, one you weren’t even sure she was aware of. her glasses emphasized the purple tinted bags lining her eyes, and her nose was dusted with a sunburn that was oddly reminiscent of that momo girl from kyoto. they were subtle changes in the way she carried herself as well, in the way her shoulders slumped ever so slightly when she rested the wooden ends of her weapons on them. it was such a slight difference that it seemed only you could know so quickly.

so it’s not hard to imagine the joy that flashed across your face when you realized your plan in unplugging her school issued alarm clock had been successful. before then, you’d only woken up before maki once, due to an early morning mission with inumaki. that day, when surprise flashed across your face at the sight of maki awake at just 6 a.m on a saturday, now seemed a contrast to your current state. the clock read 10 a.m as you were interrupted from mulling over your breakfast with inumaki and paves with the sound of steps shuffling against the floor, followed not soon after by maki, clad in baggy plaid pants and a loose fitting tee shirt. you watched as she stretched her arms above her head, making her shirt ride up slightly from the waistband of her pants. a part of you felt as if you’d gotten lucky to see her in that moment, with her green hair cascading past her shoulders, and her yet to be brushed bangs messy as they slightly masqueraded her eyes like a sheepdog overdue for a trim. as she rubbed her eyes into focus, her gaze landed on you, clearly trying to stifle a smile for whatever reason.

“what’re you so happy about?” her voice was raspy as she straightened her posture.

oh, you were definitely lucky to see her like this.

“sleep well?” you raised an eyebrow with a teasing tone. she could practically hear the smug grin threatening to stretch across your face. had it not already been obvious who the culprit was, that would’ve been a dead giveaway of the way her stolen batteries from her alarm clock were collecting dust on your bedside table. she sent a lazy glare your way, but there was clearly no malice behind it.

“if i say i did, will you leave me alone?” her tone was almost playful as she stepped towards you, bending her knees to be at eye level with you while you sat. she probably didn’t notice that she wasn’t nearly as intimidating with her old pajamas and messy hair.

“no can do.” you no longer held shame in the catlike grin on your face. “gojo is finally letting us have that day off he always promises, and i’m not letting you use some excuse about being ‘too busy with training.’” those last few words were spoken with a monotone infliction in a weak attempt to poke fun at her almost robotic training schedule.

a roll of her eyes, but she made no point to move from her position. when she crouched down to your sitting form, her eyes remained focused on you despite the sleepiness still swimming in them. your noses were mere inches apart.

“and if i do?”

“i already told gojo to lock up the weapons, plus everyone else is occupied with relaxation.” you feigned sheepishness.

“oh noooo, i’m sure it’d be impossible to make it past his advanced security system.” her voice oozed of sarcasm and her head tilted slightly, a smirk daring to sneak past her lips.

the staring match you were unaware you’d been putting so much effort into was interrupted by a groan from inumaki. he made a face of disgust in your direction as you both turned to face him. if he could, you were sure he’d mutter something annoyedly about you two needing to get a room. your face contorted to send some sort of distorted glare his way as he got up to leave the room.

maki cleared her throat awkwardly, now acutely aware of the distance (or lack thereof) between your faces, courtesy of inumaki.

“by the way, if you don’t take a break, gojo says he’ll just make you take one during our next mission!” the grin on your face stretched almost cartoonishly at the dejected look in response to your declaration.

she was standing now. “i’ll do it, but only because you’ve already set my day back by a few hours, and so i don’t miss anything important later.” though you didn’t miss the corners of her mouth turning up as she averted her gaze.

to her surprise, you let out a soft sigh of relief in response. “thank god, my last resort would have been to make you go to training with the kyoto students instead.” she cringed wordlessly in response as she pulled a cup of yogurt from the fridge.

“what do you want to do so bad that’s got you so pushy anyways?” she sat with her legs spread apart as she ate her breakfast.

a mischievous gleam danced across your face. “well i was cleaning out my dorm the other day, and i may or may not have found my copy of mario kart.” your voice was triumphant, as if you’d just found the cure to a disease.

she looked thoroughly unimpressed in contrast to you holding down heaps of excitement. “never played it.”

your gasp of shock felt as if it could have woken up the whole school.

“maki…” your voice sounded accusatory, like a parent saying that they’re not mad, ‘just disappointed.’

“well it’s not like the zenin clan is exactly known for their expertise on video games, are they now?” she spoke matter-of-factly.

“and they’re clearly not known for having fun either, now you’d better eat up so i can beat your ass.” your competitive tone seemed to awaken a rivalry within maki, whose eyes suddenly became sharper with determination. you stifled a chuckle at the drive that came from your simple teasing.

“i wouldn’t get so confident just yet, no offense but i don’t think you’d be that hard to beat.” she teased, matching the mischievousness in your eyes, as she finished her cup of yogurt.

“oh it’s on maki!”

as you bounced down the hall to your dorm with maki in tow following breakfast, you took note of panda walking by, who seemed to do a double take of maki. she met his gaze, once again trying to look threatening despite her cozy attire. panda seemed unaffected by her glare, simply sending you a sneaky thumbs up, not going unnoticed by her.

“did everyone know about your little plan?”

“not everyone, per say. if i told megumi he’d have been a total buzzkill and told you.”

“oh how tragic that would have been.” without looking over your shoulder, you could tell she was rolling her eyes, but she did a bad job at concealing the smile that was evident in her voice.

“i know, where would you be without me?” you wiped fake tears from your eyes dramatically as you swung open the door to your dorm.

“not playing mario kart, that’s for sure.” she shrugged, feigning exasperation as she slumped on your bed. it was oddly domestic, this side of maki. it was the side of her with her hair undone, with her usual stiff uniform swapped for baggy pajamas, with her back flat against your rock solid dorm bed as she stared at the ceiling, eyes glazed over. it crossed your mind that you’d like to see her like this more.

but in case you didn’t get that chance, you were determined to make this moment last.

after a few moments of annoyance at how slow your wii loaded, and annoyance from maki at your complaining about it, considering that thing was clearly on its last legs, you were met with the flashing of the mario kart title screen. maki sat up to be met with your face brightening into a smile, making it hard for her to stop the matching one on her face. she found it hard not to get excited from the enthusiasm you had about this game, it gave her a sense of comfort that made her feel like she’d never have to worry about battling a curse again.

you handed her a controller, your fingertips brushing against her hand as you did so. her eyes flickered to yours with an impish delight to them.

“you’re going down.”

“oh?” you raised an eyebrow as you turned to click through character selections, shamelessly feeding into her competitive streak. after scrolling through the characters just long enough to annoy maki, you decided you’d play yoshi. she let out an over exaggerated sigh of relief when you’d finally decided, before turning her attention to do the exact same thing.

“rosalina, huh?”

maki glanced at you, before averting her eyes back to the screen. “what can i say? she’s hot.”

you put a hand to your heart dramatically. “oh maki, how you wound me. sorry i can't be her.” your little act was eerily similar to how the first years would act whenever there was even the possibility of megumi interacting with a girl.

“you’ve been spending too much time around gojo.” she scoffed at your antics while you waited for the crappy old wii to load the selection screen for tracks.

should i choose rainbow road just to fuck with her?

spoiler alert: you absolutely did choose rainbow road just to fuck with her.

you knew she’d never played before, so even if you did win, it’s mostly because you chose the most difficult track. but the competitive side of you didn’t seem to care. before starting the game, you moved so you sat next to maki on the bed, parallel to the tv screen. you guys sat shoulder to shoulder, yet maki still seemed totally relaxed.

“you’re going down.” she smirked, turning to face you, the second time that day her face was just inches from yours.

“i’d like to see you try and beat me, newbie.” you tilted your head towards her, a smug look painting your face as you leaned over to place your hands over hers, instructing her of the basics as you guided them over the buttons and joysticks of the controller. after all, it would be just cruel to make her go in completely clueless.

“thanks.” her eyes remained focused on her hands a few seconds after you’d removed yours from atop them, before her gaze travelled to meet yours. there was an uncharacteristically soft look on her face for just a moment, before she looked back to the screen. “but you’re gonna regret this when you eat my dust.”

“whatever you say, maki.” you muttered as the screen began to flash a countdown.

3…

2…

1…

START!!!

forget all that soft shit, you were gonna beat her ass.

your dorm room was filled with the sounds of the wii controller buttons being mashed, along with the background music of the game.

“SHIT!” you didn’t have to glance at her screen to know she’d swerved off the road and fallen, so you just smiled triumphantly in response.

when she was on the road again, you could feel her lean against your shoulder slightly as she turned. in your peripheral, you noticed how a few strands of green hair brushed against your shoulder as if it were yours. maki, on the other hand, seemed completely focused on winning the game, making her ignorant to how she practically leaned into you.

you were confident enough to know that you pretty much had this game in the bag as you kept your lead peacefully for quite a bit, that was until a certain smug looking girl next to you managed to score a blue shell.

“DAMN IT.” you watched as yoshi spun helplessly after being hit. “look at how sad he looks, you monster.” you glared ludicrously at her, to which she just snickered, but your feigned anger was quickly interrupted by the sound of the music speeding up.

FINAL LAP.

“already?” you were exasperated to see how close maki had gotten to you. looking to her, she remained with a determined look on her face, funnily enough, it was similar to the one she’d have while sparring.

you didn’t want to have to play dirty but…

ah, who were you kidding, you totally wanted to play dirty!

“hey, maki.” your voice was husky from strain of your cries of distress when you fell behind. you leaned into maki the same way she had earlier, with your leg practically on top of hers, and your head leaning oh so casually on her shoulder. she seemed to stiffen for a moment.

“what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

jackpot.

swerving with your controller, you’d managed to knock her rosalina straight off the track, giving you a clear path to the finish line. you knew that making her all flustered just to get ahead had to be some kind of cheating, but you couldn’t deny it was so worth it to see the way her face flushed from a mix of embarrassment and anger at losing.

when you reached the finish line, it was hard to contain the laughter that came bubbling up out of you. before you could help it, the repressed giggles turned into a full on belly laugh as you leaned onto her shoulder for support.

“you should’ve seen your face maki!” you managed to get out between laughs. she simply pushed you off of her, though it was clearly as soft as possible. she held onto your shoulder so you were forced to be at eye level with her.

she opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, you lifted your head to make eye contact, your mouth in a tight line as you tried to hold back more laughs.

“you’re pretty good for a newbie though, you know.” you leaned into her touch, too focused on her to tease her over the animation of yoshi with his gold trophy playing on the screen.

“yeah and you’re pretty good for a cheater.” she scoffed, but it only elicited more laughter from you, gripping on the hands she had on your shoulder for support.

she wanted to keep up her front of mock seriousness, but the way you melted into her in this moment left her no room for her mock anger.

it was rare that you saw maki zenin laugh, but in this moment, it just felt so natural to you. it seemed to rise up out of her, like a soda can being shaken up before opening, it came out unrestrained as her shoulders shook ever so slightly.

you’d have to make a note to get maki to laugh more often.

“so…” you finally composed yourself, leaning your head on her shoulder, she looked at you without an ounce of the surprise she held earlier, as if you guys did this all the time. “do you wanna play again?”

she grinned wolfishly. “hell yeah.”

#maki zenin x reader #maki zenin #zenin maki x reader #zenin maki #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk headcanons #jjk imagines

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bitch-butter · 1 year ago

Text

a Very long piece of pretty on the inside, my grimdark Web backstory for the Unnamed Gay Disaster AU

enjoy, if you dare ~

Although the dip in his business came as an unavoidable condition of the changes in his own personality David still found a way to take it personally. He knew he was falling short, he knew he was different, but he was helpless to try and be anything different.

One after the other it seemed to come.

Why are you changing the rules?

Why don’t you smile?

Why don’t you let me tie you up anymore?

You aren’t yourself.

“Why do you think you know me?” he had demanded waspishly from across the dinner table, and it had been the first time he’d felt any type of way in over a month, the swell of anger pumping through his chest like the cure for disease, the cure for everything. But his date had balked, had apologized, had looked chastened, and David felt sorry for him.

It began to grind against the edges of his mind. Why was he always the one who had to apologize? Why should he be so concerned with others when they were never concerned with him? Why was he cold and they warm? Why was he outside and they in?

He had a constant headache, the front of his brain feeling swollen and distended where it pushed up against his skull and begged to be relieved. People began to do the thing he hated above many other things, which was that they became worried about him. His dates, his acquaintances, Roy, they all looked at him with big, dumbass bug-eyes as he just tried to live his life, their eyes on his hands as they uncapped bottles, peeled pills out of hiding places like pomegranate seeds, unwrapped and unbagged and all of it. He resented people that asked him if he was alright with a pure white blinding passion, as though every person that took drugs was scary and needed to go to the hospital about it.

His anger began to read on his face, his reticence hanging from his bones like chains, and he began to feel slick and slimy with his own disdain. He began to feel itchy, unsettled and tight underneath his skin, like a snake before it sheds the past, ready to leave it all behind him and slither away to hide in the darkness. Night after night he lay awake practically shaking with the force of his want, the instinct to escape making each synapse fire off with a searing urgency even as he told himself over and over that there was nothing to escape from, nothing coming.

Nowhere to go.

His Senior year ended, and thank God that it did. Against all odds he was quietly admitted to the M.A. program in the English department at Penn, and he did his best to feel anything but devastated about it, no longer able to really tell what it was he wanted or didn’t want. He oscillated between being happy he got in anywhere after the performance he turned out this past year, and yet still lamenting the fact that it felt like the best he could do. But that was always his curse, wasn’t it? Wanting more than he had.

For the first time in his life he began to feel exhausted from wanting more.

Baby, why are you a teenage whore? the song went over and over in his mind.

The night before commencement he went on a “double date”. He almost wished he could tell them he was about to leave school, that he didn’t know how he was going to move, that he was afraid to be somewhere new, that he was tired. But he didn’t say anything really, and his mouth stayed shut only so long as it took for it to be opened for a dick to shove into it, for him to gasp before another, then back, then crying out while he was fucked until it seemed like it would never stop.

To think that sex used to relax him. He hadn’t been relaxed in a long, long time.

They left him around 3a.m., legless with exertion, feeling crusty and turned over and over and inside out and back together. The money was left on his dresser, and he could barely muster the decorum to say goodbye let alone even look at the fiery spot where it sat waiting for him.

He tried to sleep for an hour after they left, but found his body possessed of that same restlessness, unable to be calm and unwilling to think of anything but hands, black water, the city outside his parents bedroom window.

Before dawn he gave in, took the sad remains of a green Xanax bar between his teeth, lowered himself into the bathtub with the box of Franzia he’d picked up a month ago and never opened sitting on the sink beside him. His cup filled and emptied in succession until the day proved itself overcast. His eyes were heavy, burning, his body loose with cheap wine, and he felt drawn, picked over like bleached bones, thinking of the fact that another summer was waiting for him, another round of tiny miseries treated with the anesthesia of money, a drink, a bump, a pill dissolving in his bloodstream. He loved these things. He thinks he loved things, but maybe he didn’t know anymore.

David was tired. That was the only thing he could be sure of anymore. He was 21, he hadn’t spoken to his family in months, he had never had a boyfriend.

His hands made the decision for him, his body knowing the escape route even if his mind refused to see the patterns of his footsteps behind him, that the path they were creating only led to one place unless they stopped. They reached drunkenly for his phone on the floor beside the tub, and he slumped uneasily in the sloshing water as his vision wavered, his brow furrowed in concentration as he finally - miraculously - stopped the ride.

SAT AT 7:01A.M.

take the site donw

I’m done

SAT AT 7:02A.M.

Roy C

What???

SAT AT 7:02A.M.

I’m done

With a nauseated sigh he dipped under the water and thought about taking a deep breath, but instead released a long, bubbling scream. Refusing to look at his phone again, he stumbled from the bathtub to the bed, collapsing down across it with a feeling of horror and relief, handily passing out within the space of just a few breaths. He slept, and slept, and slept.

David never made it to commencement, and nobody seemed to notice. The next day he awoke to the realization that he’d left his phone in the tub, but by then it was almost funny.

***

His life as it had been ended just as it began: fast.

The site went down, his regulars contacted, his cell phones narrowed down into one singular phone and his apartments in Boston traded out for one apartment in Philly. All that remained to give away that he was not the same as every other guy that wandered across campus was the dearth of funds in his bank account, and the ways that he still allowed his eyes to linger in the windows at fancy restaurants, law firms, shiny glass-windowed business where older men lurked. The instinct to hunt was powerful, and he found it was just as hard to give up as giving up the constant feeling of being watched.

David hated his first few months out of the business, finding himself at turns interminably bored and despairing at the mess he’d made of everything. He made a few thwarted attempts to connect with his old friends, but found they had either moved so far past him as to be almost unrecognizable or they had stayed too much the same, too locked into the old patterns that were too, too close to his old patterns. He thought many times of contacting his family, but each time balked at the idea of seeing his brother again, finding himself unable or unwilling to try and map out the potential confrontation in his head, too fearful of what exactly it might make him feel. Anger was welcome, he could be angry all day long, but he worried he would feel something more like heartache.

It was best not to investigate it further.

In class he applied himself with a dedication that put his classmates to shame, certainly out of some misplaced guilt at having been such an unconscionable slob his last year of undergrad, but it didn’t endear him to anyone but his professors. Being able to form connections outside of psycho-sexual business transactions appeared to be something key that everybody but him learned in school, and it wasn’t as though he could excuse his poor friend-making skills on the fact that the only people he knew how to get along with were people he wanted money from. He could try, but something told him he would get somehow even more blank stares from his peers than he already did.

The only thing he knew better than school was sex, but that too had lost any interest for him. Instead he did his best to put a life together for himself, friend and family or not, and found the concept far harder than he could have ever imagined. The money he received from the school for his shifts picked up in the Writing Center and the other scant tutoring positions didn’t hold a candle to what he used to be able to bring in during a single night, and he relied heavily on his savings. Each night he returned to his apartment feeling like a man wearing a bad disguise, like the trappings of his new life could never hide who he had been, and this thought brought him anger. Why should he want to hide?

A good question. Why should he want to hide?

Even if he wasn’t ashamed he could never quite outrun the instinct to hide. He couldn’t understand it, and there was nobody he could have asked to help him try and tease it out.

These sorts of questions stretched his nights out like taffy, made him develop dark circles beneath his eyes, made his body drop the tone of his muscles. Even if he had walked straight up to the nearest guy and revealed that he had sat on some of the most powerful cocks in the world he looked so ragged that they would have called in a 5150 on him. He looked plainly bad. He felt plainly bad.

He missed speed. He was tired, got drunk too easily without it, and craved the tart bite of it against his teeth as it was ground down into a spit-paste for his body to paw at. It became hard to concentrate on mundane details, and he came to find that he’d leave showers running, lights on, without the touch of amphetamines in his system. The yearning was potent enough that he stopped eating the Klonopin wafers that he’d been saving in the bathroom cabinet, even though their bubblegum colored box, their virginal white bodies, and their odd strawberry taste beckoned him each time he thought of going to bed. Their fake, dopey euphoria was hardly worth it without the kick of Adderall, Ritalin, coke to wake him back up.

Nights began to resemble a model train running around a Christmas tree, like some dark Norman Rockwell joke, as he debated over and over whether he could afford to dip a singular toe back in. Would that make him an addict? If he started again would he start everything again? Would taking speed after a few months off make his heart explode on impact?

It only took him about half a semester before he finally caved and got a cat.

The humane society told him she had been a stray, and he stared in wonderment at her tiny white body, amazed that she had managed to escape the dangers of the world unscathed for how small and helpless she seemed. She didn’t take to him or his big, empty apartment at first, but they had advised him to expect that, to give her the space to come to him on his own. He had never had a pet before, and at first her skittishness was something he had internalized perhaps a bit too much. But one night he felt a scratchy tongue taking a taste of the bottom of his foot as he lay awake, and she had scampered up the bed and fallen asleep cupped in his hands. After another week, and a basket filled with pink toys, she graduated to sleeping against the back of his neck.

He named her Marilyn as an exercise in leaning into being honestly, forthrightly cringe, but found addressing her just as Mare suited her even more.

David began to feel still for the first time. The kind of stillness he knew would ultimately come to feel stagnant, but as an experimental phase of life he did his best to acclimate. He began to fall into a schedule: wake up, feed the cat, write a page or two, go to his morning classes, post up at the coffee shop and either do his own work or meet with undergrads in need of assistance, go to his afternoon classes, feed the cat again, do his evening sessions at the Writing Center, then head home and allow himself to watch TV. There was no room in his days to linger too closely over the past, or of all the things that he was indirectly choosing not to do because of how busy he was, and after just a few months of this he almost felt normal. Maybe not happy, but certainly normal.

The last thing he wanted was to fall in love, as the extremes that traveled between his two polarities were still too much for his shell-shocked brain, but he found he was interested in a relationship. At least to try, to see what all the fuss was about. It was an instantaneous thought that this was exactly why he had decided to get fucked for the first time, and that had tripped him off down the path he’d just had to be air-lifted out of. But it hadn’t been enough to get him to say no when he was asked out for the first time.

Carter was a guy there was no danger of David ever falling in love with, which at least in his opinion made him prime real estate for his crash-test relationship. Technically Carter barely qualified as a guy who dated other guys, so in reality David was in no danger of developing any real kind of feelings for him beyond appreciation for his companionship. They met, of all places, at the library, but lest he allow the place to speak too highly of his character Carter was always quick to explain that he just needed to use the bathroom. David had glanced up from his seven volume stack of Victorian lit and spotted him and the rest, as they say, had been history.

He was fine. They weren’t going to last, and that was just as well.

Unfortunately, Carter seemed to like being with him an awful lot. Not enough that David didn’t suspect he was being cheated on with guys at the gym, but enough that when it came time for their inevitable separation he figured it wouldn’t exactly be a cinch.

At least he was finally having sex without being paid to do it. That's something people do, right? Right.

The other real, true positive of being with Carter was that David came to find that he liked his friends very much. He had met up with Carter and his “usual crew” at the bar after his shift at the Writing Center one night and had unwittingly gotten shitfaced, complete with spinning, and topped off with vomming into a thankfully clean restroom with a motif of cowboys on the wall. Though Carter had not been that concerned, one of his buddies - Joe Toye - had apparently drawn the short straw, inching his way in to peer towards David slumped against the partition of the stall next door.

“Better?” he’d asked, his voice deep but somehow light, raspy, like smoke. David liked that about Toye, that he made giving a shit seem so cool and second-nature that anybody that didn’t join him seemed like a monster in comparison. That in addition to his biceps made him almost perfect in David’s eyes.

David had given a wobbly nod, mouth dry. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

Toye had sighed, leaving his post at the door and approaching readily but gently, his face set in the sort of position that told David he was going to say something he wasn’t entirely sure he felt good about. “What are you with that guy for?” he had mumbled, his big shoulders framed by the dark wood of the stall, his arms crossed before his chest.

Giving an attempt at a hum, David swiped a hand over his mouth. “Why not?” he slurred, head knocking back against the stall, feeling the residuals of his drunkenness still sitting heavily atop his blood.

“Listen,” Toye had started out, voice still keeping its same even register, and David admired the fact that he didn’t play this scene any more theatrically than it needed to be. “I know him. We ain’t exactly close, but I know him well enough to tell you what a dog he is.”

He could have guessed that by himself, but appreciated the candor enough to try to give the other man a smile. “Not going to be with him long enough to get hurt,” he reasoned, feeling a quiver of disappointment go through him at the fact that Toye did not appear to react to his smile. Men used to really like it when David smiled at them and told them not to worry about him, he wondered darkly what had changed.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Toye replied simply.

David didn’t love it when other people seemed to be thinking Some Way about him. Well, he didn’t like it when certain people seemed to. Men like Carter could think whatever they wanted about him, their opinion in his eyes was no more special or distinguished than one bill amongst one thousand bills, but the way that men like Toye looked at him did concern him. He could admit when he wanted others to like him, that had been something he’d been working on the past few months.

“Been hurt worse than he could do before,” he muttered, feeling the dark lead of his thoughts trailing down, down into his guts and making his stomach slosh around some more. Afraid to meet the other man’s eyes once more, the words still tickling over his tongue, he let his gaze stay on the floor, thinking of Todd, of where he could be now, of boats on a crystalline blue sea, of how badly he wanted a muscle relaxer of any kind.

Toye took the idea in, chewing it over with the kind of simplicity any neurotic homo would be envious of. “Where are you from?”

David glanced to him again, frowning in curiosity. “New York.”

“You got family out here?”

The mere mention of family had the back of his throat burning with acidity. “No,” he shook his head, unable to mask his distaste.

Toye accepted it in kind, moving on without complaint. “Friends?”

“I’m…” he went to answer, wavering between honesty, towards the pull of being honest, and the threat of what that honesty could mean. “You know, I have a lot going on.”

Even if he had only ghosted in the direction of the truth, that he had no friends, didn’t speak to his family, and was only just beginning to feel comfortable speaking to people he wasn’t getting paid to speak to, it registered in part on the other man’s face. “Well, if you think you can hold your liquor better in a private setting I’m throwing a party soon,” Toye said easily, calm and cool like he had seen the entire conversation heading just this way, paying no mind to the strange, melancholy bends of David’s mood. “You’re invited, if you want.”

It made his heart quiver up into his raw throat, a wriggling hope that reminded him of what it was like to be young and to feel great, big things and dream big dreams. “Really?” he questioned gently, feeling cracked and broken, desperate to shove the unsavory parts of himself beneath the bed until he got a taste of what People Did.

Toye gave a half shrug, nodded. “I think you might fit in. If you relax a little bit,” he advised lowly, a knowingness in his voice that made him think briefly that they must have met sometime before, in some place he wasn’t allowing himself to remember, but he had to force himself to do away with the thought. Sometimes people can just know people, even if they hadn’t met before even one time. It didn't have to be a scary thing.

He swallowed. “Thank you.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Toye shook off the thanks, and in the wake of David’s dismissed deja vu he was the size of a normal man again, calm and collected, tired at the corner of his eyes. “Clean up, I’ll get Carter to settle up his tab,” he said smoothly, already inching his way out of the room and through the heavy door as it swung shut behind him, leaving David to contemplate how badly he now wanted friends.

* * *

“So, you kids been together long?”

David’s eyes shot from where he’d been staring dazedly into the living room at Carter, engaging one of their newly introduced hosts in a conversation that looked painful, and towards his other host. Babe acted tall, but still utilized what appeared to be a child's stool in order to get the final push he needed to reach into the uppermost cabinet of the cramped, white kitchen and withdraw a blender, the top of which wavered dangerously and threatened to fall the ample distance to the ground.

He fought not to stare too hard at him, or at George - introduced in the same fast-paced frenzy - from where he leaned easily against the counter dipping chips into a mellifluous white dip. In truth, he felt like an alien invited in from the wilderness, and struggled to do anything beyond look blankly at people and say off-putting things.

This was his moment.

“Not long,” David shook his head, taking an urgent sip of the beer that had been offered to him (shallowly noting that it tasted Midwestern in the worst way). “Like a little over a month?”

George smiled at him in a way that felt gently condescending. “Young love,” he said with no affect, popping a chip into his mouth and crunching loudly.

Thankfully Babe didn’t seem deterred by the fact that David was a shambling idiot who could barely speak. “Are you from here?” he questioned easily, managing to sound both curious and demanding in the kindest way as he set the blender against the countertop and turned towards the fridge to open the freezer and withdraw a large ice tray.

Shaking his head, David shifted against the doorframe to face directly into the room, the sound of the party beyond at his back. “No, I’m from New York.”

Finally George seemed somewhat interested, brow furrowed as he shoved another few chips in his mouth at once. “Why did you come out here?” he asked, the words muffled beneath the crunching of the food against his teeth

“School,” David answered blankly, noting the way both of them seemed to wrinkle their noses at him before he hastily tacked on: “Grad School.”

Babe chuckled, an odd, wheezy sound. “Okay, cool,” he nodded, cracking the ice into the blender without further dirty looks. “I thought you were about to tell me you were just a really advanced 18 year old,” he said, reaching for a sizeable bottle of tequila resting on a cutting board atop the stove, emptying a generous portion over the ice.

David shook his head, feeling warmed even if he wasn’t sure why. “No. I mean, not anymore,” he shrugged, pushing away the memory of being an advanced teenager with no concept of what was laying in wait for him. “So do you do?” he questioned as he ventured deeper into the room, pausing near the window at the realization that he, again, was speaking nonsense. “You know, what do you do?”

George looked at him strangely, but occupied himself with setting his snack down to reach for his own beer, lying in wait for him on the countertop. “Babe can do anything but he chooses to challenge himself picking up shifts at fucking Starbucks,” he reported dryly, taking a long sip of his beer as Babe glared, emptying the last remnants of a bottle of acid green margarita mix into the blender.

“I can also bartend and I help Harry out, I’m not a fool,” Babe shot back waspishly, before blinking in dismay at the empty bottle. “Shit,” he grumbled, chucking it towards an already overflowing paper bag of recyclable material next to the garbage.

Scoffing, George gave him an amused look. “Waiting for Gene to come into his doctor money.”

“Don’t talk about my future husband,” Babe warned, before giving David a look that made him feel like they already shared an inside joke together. “George is a cog in the corporate machine.”

Shrugging, George looked between them both with a forced air of nonchalance. “They have free snacks,” he excused, using the sentiment as an excuse to reach for his plate again. “I’ll be an agent of capitalism for a good chip.”

David found himself smiling at the joke, moving to perch himself on the ledge of the window as Babe hit the button on the blender, sending a terrible roar through the room that had George shaking his head and taking his leave.

“So what did you study?” a rasp of a voice ventured from beyond the window.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” David cursed, shooting up from where he had just sat, peering through the dark in search of where the voice had come from, half expecting a ghost to be floating in the shadows. He wasn’t altogether incorrect, as his eyes finally did land on a pale figure seated just outside the beam of light that shattered out over the alley from the lamp towards the street. From what he could see, the figure was crunched up on the fire escape, long legs bent and braced up against the black, caged steel, inky smears atop their head and at their eyes, like something out of a pill-blessed dream.

Was this real? All of a sudden he felt distinctly out of time and place, like a pendulum swinging.

“I didn’t know you were out there,” he said blankly, almost hypnotized by the dark shape.

“They don’t let me smoke inside anymore,” it answered brusquely, the lights of a passing car briefly illuminating short dark hair, pale skin, a cigarette coming up quickly before disappearing once more.

David blinked. “I…literature.”

The shape seemed to nod, already turning back to the shadows and away from David. “Rad.”

“Who are you?” he asked, unable to help himself.

A sharp, annoyed sound cut through the crisp fall air. “Don’t sound so fucking suspicious, I was invited,” it said, biting, and the lights came and went again to show David a face he couldn’t altogether make sense of: pink at the mouth, pale at the neck, long cheeks and unknown eyes.

He shook his head hastily. “I’m not suspicious.”

Another hard, disbelieving scoff. “You could have fooled me,” it grumbled, its voice ambiguous, something both rough and high, hard and soft at once.

Feeling almost inhumanely offended at the accusation, David rolled his eyes towards the shape, turning back into the room to see that Babe had also taken his leave, an empty blender in his wake. Sparing one last glance towards the window, David tried to categorize the sensation as one he knew what to do with and found himself failing hard. It was not the first time a stranger had dismissed him, it surely wouldn’t be the last.

But still, it stung like a needle into flesh.

He found solace in sidling up to his onetime-boyfriend, forcing himself to acclimate to the weight of Carter’s arm over his shoulders, telling himself it just took getting used to. “There’s a mean lesbian on your fire escape,” he reported to their secondary host - Gene - still trapped in the net of his boyfriend's conversation, albeit with a fresh frozen marg in his hand. David had liked Gene instantly. He liked anybody that seemed to be reluctantly containing multitudes.

True enough, Gene let a shaded look pass over his face, rolling his eyes in a way that told David there was more than history lurking behind the singular gesture. “That’s Joe,” he said, sounding both at the edge of a long, exhilarated rant and yet already tired by the concept. “He’s harmless, he probably just didn't get enough protein today.”

Carter made a rough sound, somewhere between scoffing and tsking, like a pebble was lodged in his throat. “That guy’s fucking weird,” he said, voice a concrete rumble that made each words seem to tumble into the next. David grimaced at it.

Gene didn’t seem to take too kindly to the words either, and that too made David like him. “We’re all a little weird, I think,” he said plainly, devoid of emotion. He’s an asshole, but he’s our asshole.

As much as he knew the relationship with Carter had an expiration date attached, David took to his friends as gladly as he used to take shots of vodka before going to CVS. They were warm, neurotic, loud, as varied and eclectic as a Lost and Found running over with mismatched gloves, scarves, the odd, singular boot. What they felt about David himself he could only guess at, but found himself gently embarrassed at the fact that they were meeting under the guise of him being attached to this dunce. He comforted himself with the thought that once they all knew him - really knew him - he’d be able to transcend the fact that he came in on the heels of an idiot and refused to leave.

It was that sentiment that had him looking up some time later to spot the shape - Joe - lurking in the kitchen, seeming to be helping himself to food off of other people’s discarded plates. As much as he wrinkled his nose, David found himself horribly curious about him, not to mention eager to make a good impression. If he was reported as being judgmental by this pale, slinking creature to the rest of the group he could kiss his invite goodbye, so it was in his best interest to try and put the freak at ease.

And the three beers didn’t hurt his willingness to take the plunge either. As such, he inched away from Carter’s side to make his way back to the kitchen on silent feet, hanging in the doorway like a needful child. “I’m sorry about earlier,” he said, voice clear and loud enough that the other man almost jumped as he turned to look back at David.

“What?” he asked, no recognition in his voice. In the light of the kitchen David noted the darkness under his eyes, the patchiness of the hair at his chin and cheeks, the way his lips looked chapped.

It sometimes made him sad to see fellow human beings look so ugly.

He blinked quickly, hoping his thoughts didn’t read on his face. “I didn’t - I mean, I wasn’t being suspicious earlier, I was just curious,” he stumbled, feeling his mouth flood with nervous spit that he hastily swallowed down under the other man’s watchful eyes.

For a moment it seemed that watching was all he might do, as he lifted a final fingerful of pretzels into his mouth and looked David up and down. Improbably, he looked no more approving of David than David did of him as he chewed, the skin of his jaw drawing tight over the muscle and making him look somehow gaunt.

“You’re with that guy,” he said, almost accusing.

David frowned, taking only scant comfort in the fact that other people seemed no more taken by his snooze of a date than he was. “Yeah, I guess I am,” he agreed, feeling short-changed in a way he couldn’t explain.

Joe grunted, a small dismissive sound as he set the plate back down, dusting his hands off against the black fabric of his pants. “Nice knowing you,” he tossed over his shoulder, already reaching into his pockets to withdraw a pack of cigarettes as he climbed back through the window, shutting it halfway behind him with no further thought of David.

It only took him an extra few moments to wonder whether he had ever before been so heartily written off ostensibly for no reason before he turned back into the party, resigning himself to the fact that tonight he’d most likely have to fuck his boyfriend and pretend to be interested in being normal.

i'm like.......fuck it I'm just going to post a Long bit of pretty on the inside bc if i don't I'm going to hit fire on three other things that Are Not ready 🫠

#webgott #ish #more pre-webgott #web goes through A Lot in this au but this is the beginning of his Head Over Heels era #writing them meeting in this verse is like oddly so satisfying #its like no other version of them #i love it #but it is.....sad lol

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ambertea · 3 years ago

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chocolate

(read on AO3)

The air was thick with excitement, the city alive under the heavy beat of the sun. Market traders lined the streets, their carts heavy with summer fruits, shouting out prices and batting away flies. Women clustered in groups, trading gossip in hushed, excited whispers. They clutched each other by the elbows as they doubled over with laughter, beautiful, vibrant dresses rippling in the wind. Men were joking in loud shouts, their faces wrinkled and animated. Children ducked and dived under the cover of the adults, unaware or uncaring of the world around them, screaming at each other.

The Doctor clutched at her hand, and his mouth broke into a large and jubilant grin. “Venice! 1960s.” He announced. Rose frowned, eying two teenage girls snapping a selfie on an iPhone.

“You sure?” She laughed. His eyebrows knit together, and he tugged her forwards.

“Nope. Not even slightly.”

“Of course.” She grinned, leaning into his coat.

He pulled her out of the flurry of the crowd and gestured at a small, dark cafe. Wicker chairs lined the entrance, circling wobbling glass tables. Rose looked up at the sign and gasped.

“A chocolate café?”

“Oh yes!” He cried, his eyes sparkling. “Marvellous invention, those. Humans, honestly. Takes you thousands of years to cure deadly diseases but when it comes to food? You’re the most innovative species in the universe.”

She giggled at his exasperated eye roll and then beamed when he pulled out a chair. Sitting down, she watched him frown as he searched through his pocket.

"Aha!" He cried, pulling out a red tartan blanket. He draped it across her shoulders, letting his arms circle and then embrace her from behind. He tucked his head next to hers, his stubble tickling her cheek, and she felt his smile.

"Don't want you to get cold."

“Thanks,” she breathed. He pressed his lips against her jaw and then straightened, cheeks burning.

“Right! Hot chocolate!”

He disappeared into the store, and Rose let her fingers dance over her face. He had been touching her more recently, embracing her at even the slightest excuse. The kisses were especially new. They scattered across her face, her hands, and on one notable occasion, her neck.

He never kissed her on the lips, but she had noticed him eying them several times. A little dubious, but still hopeful, she'd taken to wearing lip gloss and pouting as much as she could.

She wasn't sure when the new physical familiarity had started, but she was grateful for it. Life with the Doctor had always been good, but recently she had been in a constant state of euphoria. The universe had been uncharacteristically kind. Every planet they visited had been stable, every person was happy and kind. It felt like a holiday from their usual lives, which was ridiculous. Even her worst days with him were extraordinary.

The Doctor nudged the door open with his knee, brandishing two steaming cups of hot chocolate. She reached out, eying the pile of marshmallows peaking from the top, but he batted her away.

"Very, very hot." He explained, carefully settling the cup in front of her. "Don't want you burning yourself."

"Wouldn't be able to hold hands for ages."

"A travesty." He grinned.

She took a cautious sip of the chocolate, and immediately groaned. The flavour exploded on her tongue, rich velvet flavours seeping through her mouth.

"You sure we're on Earth? This is amazing."

“Nope!” He said, slurping up a marshmallow. “No idea, not really. Smells like Earth though.”

Rose took a deep sniff and frowned. "All I can smell is those bins."

“That’s Earth!” He cheered. She rolled her eyes and took another sip of her drink, feeling the warmth seep into her fingers. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a thick, leather-bound book, and Rose groaned.

“No. Not again.”

“Please?” He said, jutting his lip forward. Rose pursed her lips, trying to keep the giddy joy off her face.

“Fine then. But only one.”

He nodded seriously, but his lips quirked into a smile. “You’ve got a deal, Rose Tyler.”

She sat back and closed her eyes, trying to memorise this feeling, this moment. When she was a kid, her wildest dream had been getting off the estate. It was difficult to believe, sometimes, that she'd been so lucky. Her younger self never had the words to wish for something like this. She hadn't even felt the full spectrum of her emotion available to her, didn't know it was possible to be this happy.

Her eyes cracked open, and she watched his pencils whizz across the paper. It had been shocking at first, watching him draw with two hands. He had scoffed at her surprise–"some of us use more than 3% of our brains, you know"–but it was still peculiar to witness.

His eyes settled on her mouth, and she smiled awkwardly under his attention.

“There it is,” he grinned, turning his attention back to the paper.

He drew for a little longer and threw his pencils on the table. He held up the book to the side of her face, the pages tickling her face, and hummed.

“Come on, let me see it.”

He shook his head, flinging the book shut and leaning on it with his elbows. “I’m too shy.”

“Oh, shut up,” she laughed, reaching out and trying to grab it. “You are not.”

“I haven’t got the details right yet.” He joked, slapping away her hands. She kept trying until they were waving their arms at each other, trying to slip in quick slaps. He grabbed her hand and then swung it between them.

“Please?” She asked, making her eyes widen and her lips pout. He groaned and dropped her hand, frowning over a pointed finger.

“You are not allowed to use that face anymore.”

“You don’t like my face?”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine then. No critiques please, I’m still hurt after last time.”

“You told me you were drawing my mum, and you drew a slitheen.”

“Yes, well.” He sniffed, flicking through the book until he found the right page. “Artistic licence.”

He pushed the book towards her, and she stared, her mouth dropping open. He had drawn her before, but she could never quite get past the gentle, smooth lines, the way he was so open on the page. She had seen her own face in countless mirrors, hundreds of photographs, but never had she seen herself looking quite like this.

“Beautiful.” She murmured, running her finger over the paper.

“Yes.” He whispered, his hand reaching out to cover her own.

His eyes burnt into her own with a strange, intense look that stole the air from her lungs. He wasn’t blinking—or perhaps time had slowed down, she wasn’t sure. He tightened his grip on her hand and leaned in, and she let her eyes fall shut as his mouth grew closer to hers.

They shot open when she felt his tongue on her nose.

“What. Are you doing.”

He pulled away, tongue darting across his lips. “You had chocolate on your nose!”

“Right.” She choked, trying to suck in some air. “Of course.”

She fixed her eyes on her mug, praying she hadn't made him uncomfortable. There was silence for a moment, and then his chair scraped across the ground. Confused, she looked up at him, trying to discern his expression.

He leaned down, eyeing her cautiously, and gently pressed his lips to hers. For a moment, she stayed motionless, but then yanked him closer by the lapels, smiling against his lips.

Her hands slid through his hair–God, wonderful hair–and then settled on the back of his neck. He was grasping at her back, pressing himself closely against her.

He pulled back and studied her, his eyes dark and fiery. She flushed and tried to avoid his gaze. Raw emotion was buzzing under her skin, trying to explode outwards, and her heart was dancing in her ears. His hand cupped the bottom of her chin and tilted her face towards his.

His lips stayed shut, but she could see the I love you in his eyes, feel it in the gentle touch of his hand. She nodded, and he sighed, the air tickling her nose. He kissed her again, softer now, and lingering until they were just touching lips.

“You taste like chocolate.” He whispered. She smiled.

“Is that why you kissed me?”

“Wellll…” he replied, kissing her once more, quickly, and then settling back in his chair. “Was an idea. My two favourite things.”

“Chocolate and kissing?” She asked and he laughed.

“No, chocolate and Rose Tyler.”

She picked up her cup and drank deeply. He watched her, his eyes greedily flickering across her face. His lips were shiny under her lipstick, and his hair was sticking up in every direction.

“Maybe,” she pondered. “We should get some to take away.”

He thrust the book in his pocket and nodded wildly.

“Excellent.”

The cafe door banged behind him as he shot in, and she giggled as she watched him talking wildly to the poor barista.

Somehow, her perfect life had gotten even better.

#this is sorttt of based off a date i had once bc this prompt utterly stumped me #fluff is stupid difficult to write #just kiss guys c'mon there's no need for so many words #fic #Doctorrose Fic Marathon

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mariska · 2 years ago

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its very sad and frustrating to me that i cant enjoy so much of what i always used 2 love about fall/autumn as a season anymore because of how bad my physical disabilities get flared up by the climate/weather/humidity shift etc etc...the other day i had to bail on my therapy appointment at pretty much the last minute when one of my moms and i were halfway there because of panic triggered by an autistic shutdown and being exposed to the air in combination with my heightened anxiety made my hands & wrists turn into blotchy lava lamps (that symptom specifically is due to a disease called 'CREST') and even though it was a short flareup thankfully it all of the areas that were blotchy felt like literal fire burns that were happening under my skin because it was literally inflamed under my skin. today i woke up and wanted to practice guitar for at least a few mins but its flared up more internally than it was yesterday so the inside of my throat, nose, a bit of my left eye, chest, hands, mouth/lips, feet and a small part of the right side of my chin all feel like they have lava moving around under my skin and i was in too much pain to do it, then i was like, well, i had to get this new mic headset for talking online cus i lost the usb for my other one i had been using for yrs and i havent had a chance to test it out yet, maybe i'll try doing a little video game stream on twitch to test it out since i havent done that in a while, but the crest sclerosis suddenly decided to get visibly worse with my mouth and throat and now im not sure if i can even speak properly because nobody's home at the moment and my bottom lip is deep red and swollen and blotchy going down onto my chin a bit and it feels like someone poured hot iron down my throat.

it just sucks. it was so miserably hot and humid this summer and i was inside for so much of it that there was still that kid/mid-teenaged version of me in my head feeling the temperature drop a bit and seeing some leaves start to change colors and thinking 'oh phew its finally fall i wont be melting anymore and the trees will look so pretty im excited' and ever since its actually started to feel like fall my body snapped me out of that fantasy of getting to physically feel okay and happy and relieved real fast. crest/scleroderma/systemic sclerosis (different versions of the disease that causes this symptom for me) doesnt have a cure and barely has a guideline of treatment or management because there are so many different ways it can manifest in people and affect them and my symptoms get worse and harder to control every year at the start of fall, and i just don't think i'm ever going to be able to enjoy such a beautiful season like this again in my life because of all the physical stress and pain it brings to me now. whenever i have days like these i feel like i just want to go back in time to before i had these flare-ups and live in the joy of being a kid playing outside and enjoying the foliage and the cooler weather and like. i dont know. bottle up that sensation so i can feel it again. i wish i had known there was a time limit on it. i wish i could've made it last longer somehow

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starry-skies-116 · 2 years ago

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Vent (TW: Internalized Ableism, Albeists Fuck Off)

Hey, you! I've got something to report!

I am almost CERTAIN that I have broken dopamine receptors. I do have the ability to plan and see what’s ahead, but ONLY to a certain extent. I absolutely CANNOT use planners or relegate myself to specific time limits. I would consider myself prepared for any situation I come across, but I still cannot predict accurately what would happen like others.

Long story short, I have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. And it is NOT what my elders would expect of one who has such a disorder- the similarities present to the stereotypes are few and far in between. I do not know of the exact details- my father said to me I was diagnosed with it at ten years of age because I had a premature birth that affected the development of my brain and body, but it might be genetic- both of my parents exhibit MANY symptoms of both internalized and subtle ableism, as well as neurodivergency. I’m SUPER mad at them for keeping such a diagnosis a secret from me until now, but it’s much too late to withhold or express such sentiments- I was bound to find out either way, but I’m still a tad salty they couldn’t foresee such a thing.

As supportive and wanting to be helpful as they are, it pains me that they are confused and have so many misconceptions about my condition and my day-to-day experiences, just dismissing it as an ‘everybody’ thing. ESPECIALLY when they KNOW I was diagnosed with the legit thing.

I do consider myself a very smart person, as well as a persistent and hardworking person- willing to do whatever it takes to use my intelligence, help others and complete tasks- but even then I am bound to make mistakes due to my ADHD and overall exacerbated rushing.

“Oh, but doesn’t ADHD go away when you’re 14?”

NOPE! I cannot stress this fact enough- no, it does not. And you have no idea how much I wish it did.

Developmental oddities in the brain and neurodivergency cannot be undone no matter what. There is no cure for disorders such as autism and dyslexia, though they can be treated- likewise, ADHD is not some disease to be cured- it is a disorder that one carries throughout their entire life. And for me, it has made my life so frustratingly and soul-crushingly hard to this day. It doesn’t mean in any way, shape or form possible that I’m stupid, or incapable or unqualified or even lazy or hopelessly scatterbrained- no, far from that.

It’s just that I’m different from neurotypical human beings, and that I’m NOT neurotypical no matter what excuse others might make up to try and call me ‘normal’ and ‘attention-seeking’ because ‘I’m a stupid teenager’. And because of my neurodivergency, things are made exponentially harder for me.

Like seriously, I do NOT understand how normal people work.

It’s like being told your entire life you suck at MarioKart and need to ‘try harder’ or ‘focus’ or ‘get better’ or ‘put some effort in’ or ‘care a little more’, only to find out that your game has been rigged to autotarget you with a blue shell if you stay in first place for longer than three seconds. You’d feel utterly rageful and devastated upon such a revelation being imparted unto you, no? Why, then, should I feel any different and carry on as if nothing’s wrong with me?

“Oh, but everyone is a little ADHD!”

Nuh-uh. You may have a few signs of ADHD, or you may be ditzy, scatterbrained or impulsive by personality, but ADHD is NOT A PERSONALITY QUIRK. It is a chronic, lifelong mental disorder with the symptoms being unpredictable- every single competent and appropriately educated doctor you meet WILL confirm this. There are physical and chemical differences in the brain caused by neurodivergent brain development: the structure, volume, chemical activity and communication pathways in an ADHD brain are different than those without. Different brain development is something that CANNOT BE UNDONE, regardless of how mutable the brain is as an organ. It can be masked, the symptoms can be regulated with treatment and therapy, but in the end it is still there. You cannot ‘grow’ out of ADHD because it is physically and humanly and mentally and spiritually on all levels IMPOSSIBLE. It does not go away.

Low executive function started with me LITERALLY not being able to write in agendas, whilst everyone else had no problem doing so. I was? So confused? Like, how can anyone use a planner consistently? How can anyone KNOW, or even more extreme, DECIDE what task to start on, or understand horribly worded and administered instructions lacking clearness? How can my peers subject themselves to time constraints that are set by either their elders or themselves? What is this convoluted sorcery?

Okay, fine- I shall elaborate: a simple task for others is not a simple task for me, because it could be divided up into actually a hundred tasks for all I know. When someone says ‘Clean The Kitchen’- …okay? Where do I start? I’m perfectly capable of taking initiative to do such things upon being given instructions, but then there’s the analysis paralysis that comes with taking on such a vague task. There are about a million different sub-tasks I could tackle to start ‘cleaning the kitchen’- washing the dishes, heating up water, cleaning the stove, cleaning the countertops, organizing the cabinets, reorganizing the fridge so it can have more space, checking the groceries, organizing cookware and cooking supplies that are still clean, ordering missing groceries online, scheduling pickup times, LITERALLY anything.

And perhaps you get distracted by tasks you forgot about and then suddenly remember, such as forgetting to water the plants, forgetting about mowing the lawn, forgetting to reorganize the desk- or even worse, in the case of me being an adult, forgetting about the BILLS you still have left to pay.

Yeah, I hear the screams of horror through the screen right now.

It’s not that us people with ADHD are lazy, or undriven or unfocused- I myself am a very driven, spirited and persistent person with plenty of emotional expression, sympathy and empathy (have to turn the tap off for a while every now and then since other people suffering affects me deeply)- it’s just that we have more difficulty doing normal, everyday things that other, more ‘normal’ people can do effortlessly- and we tend to have horrible emotional meltdowns over these matters because why is this so hard they said it was supposed to be a simple task.

Also, why are people with ADHD labeled as ‘lazy’ or ‘ditzy’ or ‘scatterbrained’? Is it because of our task management issues or executive dysfunction? Is that too inconvenient for neurotypicals like you to accomodate?

I, personally, have no problem with task initiation- it’s relatively easy for me to start new things because of the ‘default’ mood of ADHD sometimes being present on ‘good brain days’ (I want to do SO MANY THINGS I WANNA CONQUER THE WORLD). It is finishing those tasks, spacing them out, managing my time and organizational dysfunction that is a HUGE setback for me. Even with an alarm, ignoring it is the best I can do, lest I resist the urge to throw the cursed godforsaken thing across the room to get it as far away from me as humanly possible.

And also, why does literally NOBODY talk about just how harrowing forgetfulness and memory lapses are? ESPECIALLY if you have ADHD, to the point where it literally becomes a hindrance in your everyday life…?

I have tutoring this summer, right? For test preparation (ah, yes, standardized testing- the BANE of my LITERAL EXISTENCE). I had initially thought that the homework was to do sections 3 and 4 of SAT 3- I saw a three on the board, I wrote it down- I repeatedly cross-checked the homework I did, and kept on remembering and reminding myself.

Except there was a literal glitch in the matrix of reality itself, because when I got to class that next week, turns out the homework was NOT SAT 3 and actually SAT 7?

So now the other students could go outside and play Connect 4 and chess and do other fun, leisurely activities during the break time I was supposed to enjoy, while I had to wear the metaphorical godforsaken cone of shame and do the sections I was originally required to do, with the teacher scrutinizing me from his desk and looking so disappointed in me it literally crushed me.

It was so harrowing and genuinely saddening- if you could’ve seen me, I was on the verge of tears. I hated myself SO much in that moment, I actually wanted to cry.

“Well, maybe if you just applied yourself to the task at hand, maybe if you weren’t so lazy and cared a little bit more-”

SHUT UP. Oh my GOD, shut UP, PLEASE. You have NO idea just how FALSE and how DEMEANING and how HURTFUL that statement is. You have NO idea how much I wish I could believe in that laughably stupid and blatant lie, how much I wish I could just ‘try harder’ and somehow ALL my problems would be magically and miraculously fixed.

The thing is, people with ADHD DO actually try hard. Cry and don’t believe that all you’d like- in fact, I, with ADHD, often work just as hard, if not harder, than my neurotypical and abled peers! It’s just that due to my mental disorder I have to deal with inconveniences and impairments that they don’t in day-to-day life.

Imagine someone who is blind, right? They’re exceptionally smart. The fact that they’re blind doesn’t make them any less smart, yet the fact that they are smart doesn’t make them any less blind. They’re gifted- on BOTH ends of the bell curve. And to accommodate for their weaknesses, they have things such as braille, guide dogs, and audio lessons to help them out. Same with other disabled people- people born without limbs have prosthetics made for them (at least to those who can afford them), people who are deaf communicate with sign language or have hearing aids- but the fact that these resources are available to them do NOT cure them of their illness and the impairments that come along with it. They may diminish the effect the symptoms have on their daily life, but that’s it. These aids do not eliminate the chronic, long-term illness- it is still there, making you deal with stuff that normal, abled people do not have to deal with.

And for people with LITERAL COGNITIVE DISABILITIES that IMPAIRS their JUDGEMENT AND DECISION MAKING ABILITIES?? And makes life hell at times, almost always conveniently at points when for typical people it should be easy?

No wonder my parents didn’t want me looking for information about ADHD- they wanted to delude me into thinking I was just a normal, lazy, ditzy and scatterbrained child. They thought my illness could go away when DEVELOPMENTAL DISORDERS NEVER. GO. AWAY.

PERIOD.

I am so mad. So, so mad.

I am so mad that this has impacted my self-esteem and my capacity for hurt, thinking I was simply ‘oversensitive’ without the knowledge of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. I am so mad that for literal years of my life, I thought I was a failure- that I would never be enough because sometimes it escalated to the point where it was a struggle to even stay conscious in class, let alone pay attention because I hadn’t eaten and stomach problems go hand in hand with my ADHD.

I am so mad that for literal years, my illness had been hiding in plain sight and I’ve called it ‘gifted kid burnout spiral uwu lol’ with teachers trying to discipline me in the most hurtful ways possible. I am so mad that- hell- I got BULLIED for who I was, and EVERY SINGLE TRUSTED ADULT I KNEW TOLD ME TO ‘just ignore them’.

I am so mad that the ADHD meltdowns I've suffered have been taken as me being 'crazy' or 'out of control' and that people screamed at me to calm down, only exacerbating my feelings further. I am so mad that one time when I had such a meltdown, my mom told me I was a problematic child who had to be 'controlled', and threatened to call the police on me instead of trying to calm me down and fix my cruddy mood.

I am so mad that for literal years of my life I took a blatantly ableist approach to ADHD, thinking ‘haha funnee disorder’ or ‘haha clumsy forgetful and scatterbrained so cute uwu’ or thinking that ADHD was summed up by ‘lol squirrel I’m adorable little baby’- no.

This condition is a legitimately harrowing and life-ruining thing to deal with. To those that know me personally, if you see this: stop trying to pretend I’m fine. Stop trying to pretend I’m like normal people with no problems or no impairments whatsoever. As intelligent or as talented and smart as I may be, I am human. I still need accommodations, care, love and support- but more than that, I need validation and acceptance instead of you consistently trying to tell me ‘I am just forgetful’ or ‘I just don’t care enough’. Because I guarantee you, ADHD has affected ALL aspects of my life since early childhood every waking moment, from my social life to my self-esteem, and I need YOU to do some research on ADHD, clear up your misconceptions, and actually respect and accept me for who I am and the condition I have. It never goes away. It is a thing I have to wrestle with for the rest of my life, and you NEED to accept that. Please.

Why am I talking about this? Because right now, I’m angry. I vaguely remember that I was placed on medication for the time my ADHD symptoms were exacerbated, and they only worked slightly. My parents and the rest of my family members kept on thinking of ADHD as something to control- an excuse for laziness or not wanting to do something- and honestly? I am. So MAD. I am SO MAD at them for refusing to educate themselves or me on my illness, for telling me to use planners and time constraints and schedule appointments like regular, neurotypical people when THAT DOESN’T WORK. I’m SO MAD at them not understanding or refusing to acknowledge the concept of time blindness, of memory lapses that actually make my life so inconvenient, for not putting in actual effort to live their own lives and telling me that tasks that are SO EXPONENTIALLY HARD due to my illness are ‘easy’ to them.

I am not like you. I have a mental illness that will never go away, that I will never fully ‘overcome’ and that is that. I can learn to live with it, but that is it. I wish I was normal and functional because I am NOT.

I am not just lazy, ditzy, scatterbrained, careless or distracted. I do not ‘want attention’. I am not ‘too young to decide’- no, to those who know me personally, you refuse to diagnose me with anything at all and try to delude yourself into thinking I can hold myself to your standards consistently! And if you think I’m ‘faking it’? Faking it would be a conscious decision! You’ve SEEN firsthand how ADHD affected my entire life and basically tore it to shreds sometimes- and you STILL want to deny it and tell me that I’m ‘okay’? That I'm 'normal'?

I am not like you. I am not normal.

Learn to respect me, and learn to treat my illness like an illness. Please. Treat me like a human being afflicted with ADHD. Is that so hard?

#ADHD #ADHD feels #ADHD shit #ADHD problems #ADHD vent #tw vent #vent post #neurodivergent #actually ADHD #tw ableism #Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder #tw angry #tw family issues #I love my parents #but they don't understand ADHD or me like they think they do #and that frustrates me to no end :'D #oh and also #tw depression mention #tw intrusive/harmful thoughts

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sololibrarian · 3 years ago

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In The Bruising of Qilwa, Jamnia explores morality, responsibility, guilt, and power in a fascinating fantasy inspired by their Persian heritage. Firuz is a refugee who has fled their home in fear of the systematic attacks against the practitioners of Sassanian blood magic. In the Free Democratic City-State of Qilwa, they find a job in the last free clinic in the city, helping to provide healthcare to the thousands of other Sassanian refugees in the poorest part of the city. When Firuz first starts working at the clinic, the city is beset by plague, which hits the cramped Underdocks the hardest. Yet even when the plague has burnt out, Firuz starts seeing a new disease, which they call blood-bruising among their patients - a disease that seems to affect only the patients of their clinic. And even more worrying is that it seems to be caused by blood magic gone awry. Firuz must discover the cause of this blood-bruising not only to heal those afflicted but also to protect the Sassanian refugees who might be attacked should the incompetent and dangerous use of blood magic be made known.

This was a wonderfully immersive book about the dualities of power and control, freedom and oppression, healing and harm. Jamnia grapples with complex questions that have no easy answers: if a people was an oppressor in the past, does that mean they deserve their oppression in the present? If you can save 1000 people should you ignore the suffering of 50 that it causes? At what point of suffering does a risky cure become more imperative than a liveable problem? As in real life, we are not left with simple answers or clear cut heroes and villains; life is far too messy for that. Instead we have people just trying to make the best decisions they can with the knowledge and skills at their disposal. Their choices are deeply human and achingly real.

And threaded through this, the characters' cultures and identities deeply influence their actions and worldviews. Both the highs and lows of Sassanian culture affect how Firuz lives their life and responds to the pressures they experience as a refugee in a city-state that fears their people's presence. One of the most personally affecting for me was the way gender identity and expression were treated. When someone introduces themself, they preface their name with their pronoun. Firuz is nonbinary and had an alignment as a teenager that allowed their body to reflect their identity. Now their brother Parviz has grown old enough to need his own alignment, except they are now cut off from the elder mages who would have performed the alignment and Firuz must try to create an alignment spell that wouldn't damage or destroy Parviz's body. The whole way Sassanians seem to approach gender identity and expression was just so interesting and validating. I just love seeing creative uses of magic for accommodating gender identity.

My one big complaint is I wanted more from the story. More of Sassanian history. More of Qilwa's history. More of Parviz and of Firuz's student Afsoneh. More of Kofi and his work. More of Firuz's place in their new home and amngst the people they now serve at the clinic. This could have easily been 150 pages longer, fleshing out the world and the characters more.

Still, based on this brilliant debut, I will definitely keeping an eye out for Jamnia's work in the future.

The Bruising of Qilwa will be available August 9th 2022 from Tachyon Publications.

#the bruising of qilwa #naseem jamnia #aroace #nonbinary #persian #book review #book rec

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with-love-anu · 5 years ago

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Don’t pretend then

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader Summary: You take up the job as a healer to work at the order and fall in love with the ridiculously handsome head of house Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, drinking problems Word Count: 2,883

As (Y/n) made her way into the order’s headquarters; she couldn’t help but wonder whether she’d got the wrong address. Surely there were better places than this hell hole. Mrs. Weasley must have seen her as she came beside (Y/n) in a blink.

“(Y/n) dear! How are you?” she said as she practically engulfed her.

“I’m fine, Mrs. Weasley.” (Y/n) told her with a smile.

“Come on in, let me introduce you.” She said as she ushered the young woman into what was supposed to be a dining room. She took in the morbid surroundings as she noticed people glancing towards her. She shook hands and greeted people trying to remember as many names as possible. To her surprise, most of them knew her. It was because of her recent interview for the daily prophet. (Y/n) was a passionate girl. She had always dreamed to be a healer.

After graduation from Hogwarts she was off to Romania for 7 long years researching more and more about human anatomy. She had been a part of breaking several curses and discovering remedies and cures for various diseases. That was one of the reasons why her ex-headmaster visited her one day to come to work for the order. She had agreed readily, wanting to step up against the death eaters as soon as possible.

“Miss (Y/l/n), I hope it was a smooth journey?” Dumbledore said softly.

“Yes it was, professor.”

“Please, its Albus, you’re not my student anymore.” He said before turning towards everyone. “Lets begin the meeting, shall we?”

***

At the end of the meeting Dumbledore directed (Y/n) towards Sirius Black, owner of the Black household. She had read about him only in the newspapers, and she did not know what to expect. Dumbledore had told her about his story, his real one back in Romania. (Y/n) had felt saddened by the fact that an innocent man had to go through such unfortunate circumstances. She had met with Remus before coming to the headquarters and he had told her more about Sirius and their years at Hogwarts.

“Mr. Black, this is Miss (Y/l/n), the healer I was talking about. She would be staying here, so as to help directly.” Dumbledore said.

Sirius gave her a nod and a tight lipped smile. (Y/n) nodded back. She guessed he didn’t like to talk much.

***

Sirius woke up with a grunt. He honestly felt trapped these days. His colleges were all out there fighting, whereas all he did was sleep, eat, drink and repeat. He got up and brushed his teeth, taking a quick shower. He went down thinking about grabbing a bottle of milk and cornflakes. He hated the thought. Instead he was greeted with the smell of fried bacon and eggs. He saw (Y/n) wearing an oversized t-shirt and shorts, hair pulled up in a messy bun; moving through the kitchen. He smiled. She looked so cute. He had noticed her the day before. She had an innocent face and twinkling eyes. But there was definitely something sharp about her that seemed to draw him towards her. Sirius shook himself. What was he thinking? She was a lot younger than him and he was no longer the same boy, who could party and make his way through different women. Who in the right mind would even look at him right now?

“Oh, hi there Sirius! How do you take your eggs?” (Y/n) asked breaking Sirius’s chain of thought.

“You don’t have to do that.” Sirius said as his stomach grumbled, making him wince. (Y/n) raised an eyebrow and shook her head.

“I love cooking actually. I was making it for myself and thought to make a little for you too.” She shrugged.

“Well, then half-fried” he replied scratching the back of his head. He went in and grabbed some plates.

(Y/n) hummed as she served him and herself some breakfast. Sirius let out a small moan eating the delicious bacon.

“Oh- this is so delicious” Sirius said with his mouth full making (Y/n) blush and let out a small laugh.

They ate rest of the breakfast in silence, which was majorly because Sirius ate a good and warm breakfast after a very long time. After he finished he cleaned both their plates and dishes used for preparation.

“Sirius, would you like to help me pot some plants?”

No. His first instinct wanted to say. Why should he? His brain provided. But what else could he do in this big miserable excuse for a house?

“Sure, why not? Nothing better to do anyway!”

(Y/n) beamed making Sirius feel a little flutter in his chest.

They went to an empty room where (Y/n) took out her supplies and a few books. Sirius followed her instructions as he set the very gross seeds in. He felt like a teenager working in the greenhouse again.

“Why did you become an amingus, Sirius?” (Y/n) asked after some time.

Sirius smiled. He launched into the story of his adventures as a kid. Making best friends, finding out the suffering of his dear friend, wanting to help. (Y/n) nodded and laughed along.

“You seem to have one of the best times at school. It was a very noble thing you and your friends did, Sirius. Reckless, yes; but noble.” Sirius barked out a laugh.

They spent rest of the morning chatting and laughing. Sirius didn’t remember a time where he connected so much with a person other than his best friends. Conversation flowed smoothly, he felt like talking to her was the most natural thing he did.

***

After that, Sirius would spend most of his time with (Y/n), sometimes helping her, sometimes just sitting in silence. Sirius saw little things about (Y/n) like the way she would light up telling about different curses she was so close to break, the way she bit her bottom lip in concentration leaving them plump and full; driving him crazy. Sirius had reminded himself over and over again that (Y/n) was young and deserved someone better than him. That didn’t help the way his stomach twisted in knots or his tendency to want to touch her whenever she was close.

(Y/n) seemed to be in a different yet same predicament. The more time she spent with Sirius, the more she grew to like him. His addictive personality that drew everyone towards him whenever he was around. Him being able to cheer her up if she ever felt down. And every single day it became harder for her to ignore the throb in her heart. At times she felt like he did like her back but mostly all she could think was how someone as handsome and smart and funny and charismatic as him could like someone like her.

“(Y/n) you need to rest!” Sirius said as he entered the dining room to find (Y/n) trying to clean the chandelier. He sighed. (Y/n) had the tendency to work until she was truly exhausted and Sirius could see it was taking a toll on her.

“I’m almost done” she whined as she continued with the cleaning spells making Sirius groan. He smirked, as an idea popped up in his head. He transformed into padfoot running towards her. He knocked her over and licked her face making her burst into giggles.

“Sirius stop!! Gross!” she said as she continued laughing. She gripped his forefoot and tackled him into the ground, placing herself above him. Sirius transformed back, his face red from laughter. As they slowly settled down next to each other, goofy smiles painted their faces.

(Y/n) couldn’t help it. Sirius was looking at her so adorably; she went forward and kissed him. She realized what she was doing and pulled back. Sirius looked blank. He didn’t know what to say or do. He knew he was not at all good for her, but in that moment all he wanted was to crush his lips into hers. (Y/n) on her part tried to breathe. She desperately wanted Sirius to say something, anything.

“I… I… I like you Sirius.” She said softly pleading to god that Sirius felt what she did for him.

“(Y/n)… I…” Sirius found himself unable to find the right words. He took too long.

(Y/n) tried not to shake. Of course he didn’t like her.

“Its fine” she stuttered. “I must have misread things.”

She tried to give him a small smile as she got up and left, leaving Sirius to wallow in his misery. He did the right thing, he repeated to himself as he descended into anxiety.

***

For the next few days, (Y/n) avoided Sirius. She would be sure to leave him whatever food she made for herself casting a warming spell on them. They would see each other once or twice and give a small smile but other than that nothing. No late night talks, no laughs over the little garden of medicinal herbs they created, no arguments over books. Sirius tried to give her space. He knew he’d hurt her but the thing was that he had become so used to her presence that he now felt like he was entering his dark hole again. He started drinking early, transforming into padfoot at times. It was like someone had finally given him something to live for and then snatched it back cruelly. He missed her, even though she was so close to him. It was much more than just physical attraction he loved her, her soul, her very essence.

At one such night, he frowned as he tried to drink from the now-empty bottle. He stumbled towards the cabinet trying to find a new one. As he fumbled for an opener he heard a voice behind him.

“Sirius, I think that’s quite enough for a week.” (Y/n) said concerned about his health. She knew Sirius had started becoming depressed easily, an aftermath of living in Azkaban for such a long period. She felt guilty for spoiling their friendship and then not talking to him for what felt like forever. It was torture for her too. She felt that maybe distancing herself would help her. But, seeing the toll it took on Sirius she felt ashamed.

“If 20th no, 21st no 20th” Sirius tried to count but his brain refused to respond. “Doesn’t matter. If the 20th drink is what it took to get you to talk to me I would have done it a lot earlier.” He smiled and then slipped falling on the floor with a thump.

(Y/n) quickly went towards him and picked him up. Sirius continued mumbling and (Y/n) couldn’t make out anything. She carried him to his room and gave him some medicine to stop the headache tomorrow. As she turned to leave, he grabbed her hand stopping her.

“Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t” she tried to say but Sirius had already passed out. (Y/n) sighed, putting some blankets over him and turning to leave the room.

Next morning, (Y/n) was ready. She couldn’t let this friendship destroy. When Sirius entered the kitchen she took in a deep breath and gave him a warm smile. Sirius looked unsure. As he settled down to eat she started repeating the long rant she spent the entire night preparing but somehow could only get a few sentences out.

“Sirius, I like you but more than that; I value our friendship. You’ve been one of the best people to talk to and I can’t afford to lose you. I miss you, which is strange because you are in the same house as me.” she let out a laugh. “It will take time, but I would soon feel comfortable talking to you again. Please know that I don’t want to make you feel bad.”

Sirius smiled.

“Okay” he said.

“Okay.” She repeated.

***

After that (Y/n) and Sirius spent time together again. It wasn’t the same as before, but it was better for them both. Or so they thought. Sirius found himself itching to hug her again, to hold her close. It was torture even more so than before. It wasn’t just a passing infatuation and Sirius was reminded that every single time he was close to her. Every time she would smile, Sirius would feel his heart flutter.

It was soon to be Christmas and house was bustling with life and joy. Harry was there and Sirius felt at his best. Everything was going smoothly; Sirius had Remus, Harry and (Y/n) the most important people in his life with him. He couldn’t ask for more.

“(Y/n)! I hope you didn’t miss me much!” came the voice from the dining room door. It was Molly’s second son, Charlie, the one that worked in Romania.

“Charlie!” (Y/n) shouted as she launched herself into his arms making Sirius’s stomach twist. He clenched his jaw as she didn’t seem to move away from him. (Y/n) dragged Charlie towards him.

“Sirius, this is Charlie, my absolute best friend!” she said smiling.

Sirius forced a smile shaking Charlie’s hand.

Over the next few days, it seemed Charlie and (Y/n) were inseparable much to Sirius’s dismay. It was gut-wrenching. They always seemed to have an inside joke and he wanted to be the one (Y/n) had them with. They would be seen at the corner of the room giggling and laughing. Sirius was told that Charlie and (Y/n) were childhood best friends. The way they behaved, no-one wouldn’t be surprised if they started dating, even though that thought made him furiously angry. He couldn’t understand what was wrong with him. He was the one that pushed her away. But that didn’t stop him from feeling hot with jealousy.

It was the night before Christmas. Everyone had made efforts to prepare the big dinner. The twins had put on some music and Sirius had fun seeing his best-friend Remus dance with Tonks. Remus had a crimson blush on his face as his niece put his hand over her waist. It was about time Remus did something for himself.

“They’ll make an excellent couple.” (Y/n) said standing beside him.

“I think so too. But Remus thinks he’s too old for her.” Sirius said looking at her. She shook her head.

“What’s age anyway? I know Tonks is old enough to take her own decisions. If two people love each-other, does it really matter when the other was born or how many more years they’ve lived?” she said with a twinkle in her eyes and Sirius felt as if he should tell her, right then that he loved her; had for a very long time.

“(Y/n)!!! Come on I don’t wanna feel lonely between all these lovey-dovey couples, dance with me!” Charlie said taking (Y/n)’s hand. (Y/n) giggled as he took her to the middle of the hall with him. Charlie twirled her around the floor and she moved elegantly with him. They laughed swaying to the beats of music looking the happiest people in the world.

It all felt too much. Sirius excused himself as he left the room trying to calm himself. He wanted to scream. He tried breathing exercises wanting to control himself. After a few minutes he was able to compose himself and he moved to return back.

“There you are!” (Y/n) said as she came towards him. When she came near though they froze. He tried to move but couldn’t. He looked up to find a small mistletoe growing. He gulped.

“You’ll get out after you kiss!” said George as he ran away.

(Y/n) looked up at him hesitantly and bit her lips. Damn! Did she have to do that!

“Let’s just do a quick peck.” (Y/n) told Sirius as she tried to breathe. Her feelings for him had only increased and now this?

(Y/n) tiptoed and gave a peck on Sirius’s lips feeling the spell wear away. Sirius cupped her cheeks, moving forward and kissed her deeply, pressing his lips firmly against her plush ones. (Y/n) froze. As Sirius moved his head away from her she felt like she was in a trance. Those silver grey eyes seemed to convey so much emotion and she wasn’t sure she understood it all.

“Why?” was all she could croak out.

“I love you. Have for a very long time. I felt I was unworthy; didn’t deserve you. Lets be real, I’m a fugitive.”

“Wrongly charged” she interjected.

“Fine; wrongly charged and old. I don’t have a job and I possibly couldn’t take care of you but I can’t. I cannot pretend to not want to hold you or kiss you or call you mine. I cannot pretend that I don’t get jealous whenever I see another man make you laugh when I should be the one doing it. I cannot pretend that you drive me crazy like never before even though I spent years in Azkaban. I am being selfish but I want you. I-“

(Y/n) put her hand over his mouth making him stop.

“Then. Don’t. Pretend.” She said smiling as she hugged him so tightly he felt air leave his lungs but he didn’t care as he hugged her back with the same fervor. They pulled away only to pull each other in a passionate kiss.

Charlie’s whistling broke them away.

“About time” he shouted as Sirius snuck an arm around (Y/n)’s waist.

A/N: Let me know what you think!

#sirius #sirius black #siriusxreader #sirius black x reader #sirius x reader #harry potter #sirius imagine #sirius black imagine #my work #Anu writes

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alitheakorogane · 4 years ago

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Assassination Classroom - Over The Moon AU

I have watched "Over The Moon" on Netflix recently and have the amazing idea. What if we wrote an Over The Moon AU for Assassination Classroom?

Here is my concept of the Over the Moon AU. Please bear with my long ramblings.

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Thousand years ago, Koro became fatally ill due to an incurable disease. His beloved wife, Aguri, loved her husband very much and decided to find a way to heal her dying husband.

So she travelled far and wide to search the legendary Tree of Life, a magical tree that bears a legendary magic peach that only blooms and grows once in a thousand years, which could heal all diseases, no matter how incurable it is. After weeks of searching, she found the tree, and saw the magic peach, glowing with power. Desperate enough to heal her dying husband, she plucked the peach, went home, and made a healing elixir that could heal Koro.

She made Koro to drink the potion and feel the healing power of the elixir, so Koro will be healed. As expected, Koro had recovered from the disease and they lived happily.

But the happiness was short-lived. Aguri found the painful truth about the magical peach too late.

Shin (the Second Reaper), the young and talented village healer, told her the painful truth about the peach. The one who intakes the magic peach can be cured by any illness that plagues him or her, but there is a catch, a curse. The one who intakes the peach can't die, and will be immortal forever.

Aguri clung on her husband’s hands tightly, as she held on his fleeting embrace. He was floating upwards, a mysterious force pulling him away from Aguri's loving arms. The curse has started, and Koro was taken away from her. She cried and cried, holding Koro's hands tight, but she can't cling to him any longer. She let go him, her hands trying to reach her beloved, but Koro was now far away, floating to the glowing moon above.

Aguri was grief-stricken and feels regret over the loss of Koro, so every day and every night, she would offer mooncakes and sweets to an altar she made for her husband. She would pray and sing, so Koro could hear her voice, hoping that she would reunite with him soon.

Unfortunately, Aguri is a mortal and have a short lifespan. She never remarried, as she still loves Koro very much. The tried everything, she prayed and plead and she went to the Tree to find another peach to eat so she could be reunited with Koro, but the peach only grows once in a thousand years. She fell ill and died alone at a young age, without Koro in her embrace.

The now-immortal Koro was alone in the moon, trapped forever in rock and lunar dunes. He cried for the loss of Aguri, as his crystal tears fell to the ground, giving life to the rocks that became his faithful subjects. The rocks turned to humanoid teenagers, which will help him cope with the loneliness and longing for his beloved Aguri.

Every 13th day of the third month (March 13th), people celebrates the tale of Koro and Aguri by eating and offering mooncakes, while telling the children about their tragic tale. The moon would shine so bright at this time, forming a crescent shape as the reminder of Aguri's love for Koro.

Thousands of years after, there was a boy named Nagisa Shiota. He lived a happy childhood, his father would tell him stories, while little Nagisa and his mother, Hiromi, would listen to the tale under the moon. Their favorite story was the tale of Koro and Aguri. When Nagisa was 8, Nagisa's father gives him an old necktie with a crescent moon emblem and a golden moon pendant.

They were very happy, until Nagisa's father died due to illness, leaving his mother depressed and insane, as she started to think that Nagisa was his daughter she never had. She began to have delusions of a happy family, and became abusive to her son, punishing him if he never did her wishes.

Until the day they met the Asanos.

When Nagisa was 14, Hiromi met Gakuho Asano, a widower, and it was love at first sight. After a year, they are planning to get married, and Hiromi began to revert back to her old self, although she was a little abusive to Nagisa.

Gakuho has a son, Gakushuu. He is the same age as Nagisa, and he was very different from the meek Nagisa. He was always serious, competitive and kinda proud, and Nagisa had difficulty getting along with him.

Nagisa was tired of this life. He still wanted his father, and hated the fact that his mother easily replaced his father by Gakuho in her heart. So he wanted to meet Koro, the god of the moon, to prove to his mother that love is not replacable, and it is forever. He had a plan: to build a rocket to the moon.

With a little knowledge of Science and determination, he successfully made the rocket, but he never expected Gakushuu joining his plan to meet the moon god, let alone met Koro in personal. Nagisa lost control of the rocket due to shock, crashing it.

Nagisa was pissed when he found out Gakushuu joined him in this plan. Gakushuu argued that he silently help Nagisa solve the equations needed for the rocket, as some of the calculations Nagisa did are slightly wrong, and can cause trouble for Nagisa later on. Also, Gakushuu wanted to see if this Koro is real all along, as he was still skeptical about the story.

They were arguing when they were suddenly taken away by flying... Octopuses? Gakushuu loses his shit.

And do I have to tell you Koro was always holding concerts at his kingdom? Can you imagine that?

Gakushuu and Nagisa meets Koro, the god of the moon. Nagisa was ecstatic and took a photo with the moon god, while Gakushuu was still mumbing how this is possible. It was peaceful until Koro demanded about a gift to them. The two humans were confused about the immortal's demand. They don't know about the gift.

So Koro had stolen the picture of Nagisa and him as a ransom, as he announced to all his subjects that anyone who can find the gift before the last sliver of moonlight in the orb fades, their greatest wish will be granted. Of course, all of Koro's subjects were excited, so they rush out to find the gift. Nagisa wanted to get the picture so he ran outside, leaving Gakushuu looking at Koro with a glare, suddenly challenging the moon god, demanding about the picture. Koro agrees.

They settled the fight by doing a quiz bee. Two girls, a blonde named Rio, and a purple-haired girl named Ritsu, held the contest, while the Gakushuu and Koro were the contestants. They answered questions with precision, and even Koro was amazed of the strawberry-blond kid's intelligence. But they still continued on, Koro was starting to get annoyed by the kid's knowledge. Until the final question.

Koro mocks that a measly kid like Gakushuu can't answer the final question, as Koro was a thousand years older than Gakushuu and more knowledgeable. Gakushuu, having a sharp mouth than anyone, retorts and mocks the moon god about the past.

"You are more knowledgeable than me, you say to me... But why you never stopped Aguri from picking that magic peach, making and letting you drink that potion that made you who you are now? You're selfish, because if you are knowledgeable as you said you are, I think you know the peach can make you immortal! Aguri was fooled by you!"

Koro was aghast about the accusations and he was pissed, unable to concentrate, leaving Gakushuu to be the victor. Koro screamed angrily that Gakushuu and Nagisa would never get the picture until the gift was given to him, breaking the deal. He left the room with Rio and Ritsu (who was apologizing), locking Gakushuu inside.

Koro was in despair, his heart was desperate to find the gift. Okuda and Takebayashi, the royal chemists, were busily mixing potions that will be needed for the ritual. Irina, one of Koro's two trusted advisors, advised the moon god to calm down. Koro replied that he can't bear to calm down, as the time is nearly up, and he can't reunite with Aguri if the gift was not yet found. Irina assured that they will find it, that Koro will gonna reunite with Aguri. The moon god smiled gratefully at Irina as he looked at what the chemists do.

After a few moments, Okuda announced that the potion for the ritual was ready. The gift was the only one left needed. Koro sadly smiled as he looked at the orb.

Nagisa went with a team of bounty hunters, Terasaka, Muramatsu, Yoshida and Hazama. They fought and escaped the obstacles, as they reached the crash site, finding for the gift. Nagisa started to lose hope, praying for a sign. As he looked around, he noticed a sliver of pale light hitting the necktie. Nagisa widened his eyes as he realized that the necktie was the gift, and happily shows it to the bounty hunters. The bounty hounters, however, had interests for Koro to grant their wishes, bullies Nagisa into giving them the gift. Nagisa gives them a gift, but he was pushed by Terasaka, while his team laughed behind him. Suddenly, he was saved by a red-haired boy and a green-haired girl.

Terasaka calls the new arrivals outcasts as the redhead smiled like a demon, "You both were exiled by the great Koro-sama, why are you here?"

The redhead shrugged and threatened them in a conscending tone to give the necktie back to Nagisa, while the green-haired girl smiled menancingly, sending Terasaka's team shivers down their spine. Terasaka suddenly ran towards his bike with the necktie in his hands, and rode away, along with his team. Nagisa was shocked, before the redhead grabbed his hand and ran to a big pond where they could catch up with Terasaka. They reached the pond and rode on the huge toads's backs back to Kunugigaoka, as the toads like to feed in the lake near Kunugigaoka. Nagisa asked for their names.

"It's Karma and this is Kaede, by the way. You?"

"I’m Nagisa."

"Hi, Nagisa!"

Nagisa remembered what Terasaka said, and asked about it. Karma sighed as he reveals that Koro exiled him due to a song Karma sang to him about moving on. Before the exile, Karma was one of Koro's trusted students. Nagisa find out that Koro loved teaching, and Karma was one of the lucky Kunugigaokans who are the moon god's students.

Nagisa also found out the Kunugigaokans are born through Koro's magic tears. That means Karma practically came from the moon god's tears.

Kaede, on the other hand, was Aguri's actual younger sister. Nagisa was confused how she was with Koro when she was supposed to be mortal, while Aguri can't, Kaede revealed that she is actually a spirit, kinda like a shikigami, who died years after Koro was floated away to the moon, and her spirit remained to accompany Koro as his companion. Nagisa wondered why it was not Aguri, and Kaede explained that Aguri was the one who picked the peach, making it part of the curse Koro was suffering. The curse was not only to make Koro immortal, but it also affects Koro and Aguri's fate. They can't be together happily, even how many lifetimes they will be in. She was also exiled with Karma after telling Koro that a ritual to bring Aguri back would possibly not work.

Nagisa realized that Koro was unfair giving the two of them the punishment of exile for just saying a helpful comment. Nagisa spoke that he never expected Koro to be an arrogant and selfish prick, as his father told him before that Koro was graceful like a swan landing on a quiet lake, full of kindness and hope. Karma replied that Koro just missed Aguri, and love can make you desperate to do anything that may be impossible.

Nagisa smiled bitterly and agree. Kaede asked about Nagisa's family life and the bluenette told the entire life story. The two listened attentively to him. He even told them about his mother and Gakuho being remarried, and Gakushuu.

Karma smiled, "I hope I will experience having a sibling. Well, a sibling who could share my hobbies of pranking other people..."

Kayano nodded as she spoke with a cheerful voice, "Having a sibling is a fun experience though! Aguri was sweet, and she was a good sibling. Besides, we were alone for a thousand years, since we were exiled by Koro-niisan from the castle."

Karma smiled, "It is not bad to move on. You can remember them forever, cherish their memories, but you can't stay in the past and be stuck. Otherwise, you will feel alone forever."

Kaede had also remarked one fact about Koro.

"When he was overwhelmed by great emotions, the entire kingdom of Kunugigaoka will be affected, since he was the one who made the kingdom from scratch. In fact, when he was striken by great grief, Kunugigaoka will plagued by darkness, as Koro's happiness powers the entire kingdom's bright lights. The last time he was striken with great grief was the time he first landed on the moon, long before the kingdom of Kunugigaoka was made."

The trio catch up to the bounty hunters, after they reached the kingdom of Kunugigaoka, Nagisa seeing the orb on the castle glowing faintly, signalling they were running out of time. Terasaka and the gang tried to stop the trio from getting the tie, but the trio were persistent. They fought and fought, Kaede was jumping like a rabbit, Karma was happily punching Terasaka, with Nagisa watching at them in horror and shock, but in between their fight, the tie was accidentally destroyed. The bounty hunters stopped fighting them and proved that the tie was now useless.

Meanwhile, Gakushuu finds a way to escape the room and wanders around the place, looking for something to use for defending himself while looking for the photo. While finding, he met Isogai, a kindhearted Kunugigaokan who happily helped him find the photo. Along with Isogai is Maehara, a flirty blond haired Kunugigaokan.

Nagisa looked at the tattered tie in despair. "It was my father's gift to me, along with this pendant I am wearing."

Karma looked at the pendant and remarks that the pendant seems familiar. Nagisa looked at Karma in confusion, as Karma shrugged, thinking that he may be wrong. Nagisa looked at the pendant and saw something in it. The moon seems like it was actually part of something.

Kaede squinted at the golden pendant and commented, while smiling wistfully, "I remember that Aguri-neechan has that similar necklace thousands of years ago, a full moon necklace. Koro-niisan too have a similar pendant too, although it was a crescent moon pendant. He was still wearing it even now, after a thousand years. I remember that if you combined those two necklaces, it will become a whole moon, like a damn puzzle. It was their version of a wedding ring."

Karma laughed, "Yeah, I remembered that pendant. Koro-sensei showed it to me back when I was still his beloved student. He was so protective of it that he cried like a waterfall when I hid that pendant playfully that time. I remember that is how Itona-kun and Ritsu-chan was born."

Nagisa stood there, pondering over their tale. Being a perceptive person, all the pieces were put to place.

"Like a puzzle. The pendant is like a puzzle. The gift..."

Nagisa's blue eyes widened as he had realized that the tie was not the gift, but the pendant. The pendant that was with him all along!

Karma and Kaede smiled happily for Nagisa while Nagisa looks at the orb above the castle, there is only a sliver of moonlight left. Nagisa knew that there is little time left so he ran along, with Karma and Kaede following him.

While running inside, Gakushuu and Nagisa bumped to each other, and Nagisa hugged Gakushuu in happiness. Gakushuu was shocked as he tried to pull back (he kinda hates hugs), but Nagisa tightly gripped him.

Meanwhile, Maehara and Isogai looked at Kaede and Karma in apprehension, as all Kunugigaokans know that these two are exiled by Koro-sama due to personal reasons. Karma playfully greeted them while Kaede waved back.

Suddenly, a tall man came in, looking at the scene with a serious look. Everyone looked at him, even Nagisa who was pulling away from annoyed Gakushuu.

"Karasuma-sensei!" The four teens greeted the man, who was named Karasuma. Karasuma is Koro's second trusted adviser, along with Irina. Karasuma spoke in a serious voice, "I know you have the gift, the octopus is waiting for you in the main room."

Nagisa was confused why Koro, the god of the moon, was called octopus by Karasuma. Karma, remarked that Koro has great affinity with octopuses as Aguri loves octopuses. In fact, he was sometimes called "octoperv" by some people close to the moon god, due to his hidden pervert nature. It was a cute nickname for the immortal moon god.

Nagisa raised an eyebrow, he never knew about the fact that Koro was like some ordinary male, sometimes a perverted creep.

Koro was in the middle of the room, waiting for the gift, with the Kunugigaokans looking at the new arrivals with concern, happiness and relief. He raised his weird-looking eyebrow to Karma, who smiled like a demonic entity, and Kayano, who awkwardly waved at him. Kayano then looked at Koro with a concerned look, reminding him that it may not work and her opinion still stands, and the moon god smiled sadly, as he walked towards Nagisa.

Nagisa held the golden moon pendant to the immortal and Koro gently picked it up from the bluenette's hands. He looked at the pendant wistfully and removed his own crescent moon pendant from his neck and connected the two necklaces together. It fits like a puzzle piece. Takebayashi poured the potion over the necklaces and the necklaces glowed brightly.

"As two halves can be whole again, this necklace was now complete, like our love. Now, you can come back to me... Aguri."

The castle scenery changes, as it morphed into a clearing, with lots of trees around the place. There is a house in the middle, and Koro, in simple yukata he was wearing back when he was still mortal, was standing in front of the house. Nagisa, Gakushuu and the Kunugigaokans were looking from far away.

The door of the house opened, it revealed a short haired woman wearing a fancy yukata. She was short, with onyx eyes tinged with brown hues. Her short hair was adored with little hairclips and jewelry that was common for women in her time. Nagisa and the Kunugigaokans gasped from far away as they saw the woman. They saw the woman on the paintings of the castle, paintings where it was depicted Koro with his beloved wife. The woman was Aguri, the woman in the paintings and Koro's beloved wife.

It was a tearful reunion, with Koro looking at his love with a longing look as he spoke how he had missed her, and they were now reunited after a thousand years. Aguri smiled and held Koro's cheek with gentleness, but Aguri's hands glowed and slowly became transparent. Koro looked at Aguri in shock.

Aguri tearfully reveals that she can't stay any longer, as they can't be together, and Koro has to move on. Koro shook his head, screaming Aguri's name as he tried to hug Aguri and stop her from fading away, but the woman slowly floated away like how Koro had done a thousand years ago. Koro reached out desperately, trying to grab his beloved wife's hands, but Aguri faded away, smiling and saying, "I will always love you forever."

As Aguri faded away to the wind, the sliver of moonlight on the orb shatters, leaving into nothing. The time was up, and it was too late to bring Aguri back. She was gone forever.

Kaede looked at the scene sadly, as she saw her sister faded away to the wind, like how Koro has done before. She sadly remarked that she knew from the start that the ritual will never work in the first place. The curse will always plagued their fate. Also, if that was possible, you can't bring back the person long dead for a thousand years. Koro is an immortal, and Aguri isn't.

Upon hearing Kaede's sad truth, Koro was stricken with grief over the loss of Aguri once again, plunging Kunugigaoka into darkness. The god suddenly formed a protective barrier around him, forbidding anyone access to him. The Kunugigaokans were worried about their leader, Karasuma voicing his concerns.

"We can't enter the barrier, it is too powerful and no one can enters there. If there is someone that can enter it, they can't go out until Koro stopped the barrier. And knowing him, he will stay like that forever."

Irina continued, "He really loved Aguri very much, and did everything to make her come back. But we all know that it is impossible. Kayano-san was different from Aguri-san's case. That curse..."

Nagisa was confused, "How Aguri was different from Kayano?"

Karasuma looked at the moon good and sighed, " There is actually a story that was actually not included in the tales that you humans say about Koro and Aguri. When Aguri picked the magic peach and made a potion for Koro to drink, a powerful sorcerer named Shiro was very angry. He wanted the peach to himself, to be immortal forever. When he found out that the magic peach was gone, and hearing the news that a mere mortal became immortal after drinking a potion containing the peach, he was pissed. Of course, he can't curse Koro, as he was now immortal and now in the moon, so Shiro cursed the one who made the potion, the unfortunate Aguri. He used a forbidden spell to curse her."

Gakushuu asked, "Let me guess, the curse was not to let Aguri reunited with Koro forever??"

Irina nodded, "Yes. Aguri's spirit and Koro can't be reunited until the curse is broken. Shiro had announced that the curse should be broken before the last sliver of moonlight in the orb shatters, or Aguri be gone forever. But unfortunately, the curse was too powerful, even the gods can't easily lift it without trouble. Even Koro, who now revered as the god of the moon. But he tried everything to break the curse for a thousand years, and this is his chance to do it right. But he failed. That sliver of light was gone. Now Aguri is gone, and Koro can't bring her back forever."

Nagisa and the Kunugigaokans were worried when they heard the words. Even Gakushuu, who shows slight concern. Nagisa stepped forward and into the barrier's end, touching the barrier, expecting it to feel like a wall. They all were shocked when his hands passed through the barrier. Nagisa looked at the depressed god of the moon and determined to enter the barrier. Gakushuu stopped him, his hands touched the barrier. Unlike Nagisa, it never passed through.

"Are you crazy?! What if you will be stuck there forever? I can't go home without you, I still have a future on Earth!"

Nagisa sighed as he smiled, "The moon's guiding light will be gone if we don't do something."

He went inside, ignoring the pleas of Karma and Kaede telling him to stop. Nagisa walked towards Koro, who was curling up into a ball.

"Koro-sama? It's me, Nagisa. The effeminate boy? I want you to know the Kunugigaokans needed you..."

Nagisa went to reach Koro, but something... Or someone stopped him. It was the vision of his father. Nagisa widened his eyes in shock and sadness as he looked towards his father, reaching his hand to hold his father’s face once again. He cried, as he screamed for his father to come back. But like Aguri, the vision floated away, leaving Nagisa depressed. Nagisa curled up to a ball in sadness, as the memories of the happy times rushed over him.

Meanwhile, Gakushuu, Karma and Kaede tried hard to break the barrier, but it was no use. Gakushuu punched the barrier but it wouldn't budge. He may not admit it, but he is started to care about Nagisa. Kaede tearfully screamed as she pounded in the glass in desperation. In her desperation, she revealed a secret Gakushuu was shocked for: Nagisa was Kaede's descendant.

Kaede had apparently died in her 20s when she give birth to a baby boy, her first child. Before dying, she gave her sister's necklace to her son as a reminder of her sister's love for her husband. It became a family hairloom, and Nagisa got it from his father thousand of years later.

Karma comforted Kaede as Gakushuu looked towards the greenette and Nagisa in shock.

Meanwhile, Koro had noticed Nagisa crying towards the vision of his father before it fades away. Koro felt sadness as he looked towards the depressed bluenette, he realized that both he and Nagisa are similar. Both of them lost a loved one and grieving over their loss. He floated towards Nagisa and gently lifted the teen's head.

Nagisa looked at the moon god with a tearful gaze, as the moon god sadly smiled, speaking in a soft voice, "You don't belong here, Nagisa-kun. You have a family to come back to. Don't drown in sadness like I did, you are still young. I know it hurts to let go of them, but we had to move on and be happy with the ones we currently have. You will remember the moments with them, but we can make new ones. You have your mother who needed you, your new stepfather to support you, and a new brother to love you."

Nagisa looked down as he spoke in a soft voice, looking towards the moon god's dark eyes "It's not too late for you to move on too." Aguri may be gone, but they are still there." Nagisa pointed out to the teenagers who stood outside the barrier, "They needed you too."

Gakushuu punched the barrier, with Karma punching along with him. "Nagisa-kun, I know we are not in good terms, but we will try to work this out! Because we are now a family!" With one last punch, the barrier shattered, as Gakushuu and the Kunugigaokans rushed in to greet Koro and Nagisa.

Nagisa hugged Gakushuu tightly, as Gakushuu, still uncomfortable in hugging people, squirmed before giving up. Kaede smiled at Nagisa, while Karma patted his back.

All Kunugigaokans rushed towards the moon god, as they hugged the crying moon god. Ritsu, Okuda and Kurahashi was crying loudly, hugging Koro tightly. Karasuma and Irina stayed behind, but they were smiling at the joyful event.

Later on, Koro and the Kunugigaokans are ready to say goodbye to Nagisa and Gakushuu. Koro had apologized to Karma and Kaede for banishing them from the kingdom, as they were just trying to make him happy by moving on and focus on the ones who loved him now. Karma just laughed and said that it was fine, traveling was fun and exciting, that he gets to pick fights easily outside without Koro scolding him, making the moon god slapped Karma's head playfully. Kaede snorted as Karma hugged Nagisa and Gakushuu tightly as he admitted he was going to miss them, Kaede giving Nagisa a quick peck in the cheek. Nagisa blushed pink over the actions. Koro happily gives Nagisa the picture of Koro and Nagisa together, as proof. Nagisa clutched the photo with happiness, as Gakushuu rolled his eyes.

With the octopuses flying them away, Gakushuu and Nagisa returned to Earth. To a human observer on Earth, they are like shooting stars. Nagisa looked at the photo in his hand, and saw the photo is fading away. Nagisa realized that he didn't need proof, so he let the photo floated away in the wind as they fall towards the Earth.

Months after, Hiromi and Gakuho had married. Hiromi changed for the better, and Nagisa is happy that his mother is now happy in life. His brother, Gakushuu, started to warm up to him.

They celebrated the March 13th festival with their relatives by eating mooncakes and sweets while sharing stories of Koro and Aguri. Nagisa laughed at some of the story as he looked out at the moon. The moon was glowing bright, as if it was acknowledging Nagisa.

After the mooncake eating, Hiromi was with Nagisa, looking at the moon with a serene look in their faces. They remembered the memories of the past, but there is no heartbreak now. Hiromi apologized about how she acted towards Nagisa ever since his father died, and Nagisa smiled as he hugged his mother tightly. As they playfully chasing each other in the night sky, the moon shone brightly than ever, as a beautiful swan in a lake flew towards the moon.

-----

So what do you think about it? I tried hard to fit the Assassination Classroom elements to Over the Moon, add some twists and new ideas, and hoping that there is not a character that is too OOC.

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niksixx · 4 years ago

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New Generation: Meet the Kids

I know many of you have been waiting patiently for anything New Generation related, and I am happy to say I have finally completed a list of the NG kids! I hope you enjoy reading about my little characters, and I can’t wait to write a few little stories about them.

A few shoutouts first. To all of you who have contributed to the characters’ personalities by sending in messages to my inbox, thank you. You have all made this series possible. I did my best to incorporate my own vision of the NG kids as well as your ideas to create something fun for us all. Second, a big shoutout to @pepeu-stuff for inspiring me. They have gone out of their way to draw a few characters (Farrah, Ezra, etc.) with their own interpretation and have inspired some of the traits for my characters. I truly cherish all of you, and I hope you enjoy the NG kids as much as I do.

A/N: Also, this is just a fanfiction. I tried my best to incorporate Crüe’s and GNR’s personalities into their ‘children’ but we all know kids can 100% be completely different from their parents. 🤗

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Meet the Sixx Kids

Nash Sixx

Nash Sixx is the nineteen-year-old son of Nikki Sixx. He has dark hair and blue eyes with specks of green and a jawline most men would kill for. Like his father, he has an outgoing personality and a killer smirk that’s manipulated people into giving him what he wants more than once. He’s a college student that is studying music education, as he would like to be a music teacher. One of his best friends is Declan Rose, and he’s taught Declan a few tips and tricks when it comes to schmoozing the ladies. He’s also a big partier, and loves having his friends and cousins over to his college apartment. Nash’s favorite pastime though is sitting around the bonfire, glass of whiskey in his hand, while his father tells him stories of life on the road with Mötley Crüe.

Harlow Sixx

Harlow Sixx is the six-year-old daughter of Nikki Sixx. She has dark brown hair with clear blue eyes and free-spirited energy. Harlow and Penelope Lee are a package deal and will go nowhere without each other. She’s creative by nature, and sometimes will paint during rainy days. For a six year-old, Harlow is ridiculously intelligent. And just like her father, she has interests in photography and art.

Colby Sixx

Colby Sixx is the two-year-old son of Nikki Sixx. He has Nikki’s natural light brown hair and light blue-gray eyes. He loves finger painting with his sister, playing with toy cars, and putting together puzzles.

Meet the Lee Kids

Penelope ‘Penny’ Lee

Penelope ‘Penny’ Lee is the five-year-old daughter of Tommy Lee. She’s a little girl with wavy brown hair (usually in pigtails with little bows attached), big brown eyes, a love for bright pink tutus, and has a bubbly, outgoing personality. She’s the spitting image of her father, and she has him wrapped around her tiny little finger. Penny Lee enjoys her dolls, her teddy bears, and tea parties. She’s been raised to be an independent child and loves exploring nature and making pretty flower bouquets. Penelope can be friends with anyone, and at five-years-old, she’s already shutting down the bullies who make fun of the other kids at preschool.

Meet the Mars Kids

Dillion Mars

Dillon Mars is the seventeen-year-old son of Mick Mars. He’s tall, lanky, with soft brown hair, blue eyes, and a sarcastic attitude. He’s not as quiet as his father, but he has his moments. Dillion tries not to take life too seriously, which is why he and Isaac Stradlin get along extremely well. Dillion has no interest in school, although he’s extremely smart in math and science. He’s president of his school’s mathletes club though he was pressured by his teachers and hates disappointing others. Most of his time is spent on the living room aimlessly playing his guitar, Luckily, Dillon did not inherit his father’s bone disease, but he is a huge vodka drinker and occasionally will smoke cigarettes with the Stradlin twins and Ryan McKagan.

Meet the Neil Kids

Katerina ‘Kat’ Neil

Katerina ‘Kat’ Neil is the eighteen-year-old daughter of Vince Neil. Kat’s thin blonde hair is usually styled straight or into two space buns on the top of her head with a few pieces framing her face. Green eyes the color of emeralds, she’s the chick every girl wants to be, and the girl every guy wants to be with. Katerina is friendly to all, but she’ll never let anyone take advantage of her kindness. As a senior in high school, she takes pride in being the captain of the cheerleading team, a lead choreographer in the dance club, and the president of the drama club. While the most popular girl in high school could have any boy she wanted, there’s only one boy that Katerina has ever been interested in. Unfortunately, that boy is Declan Rose, the son of her father’s arch enemy, Axl Rose.

Carson Neil

Carson Neil is the fifteen-year-old son of Vince Neil. Carson’s shoulder length blonde hair resembles his father’s, and he was gifted with a singing voice that could cure the world’s problems. He’s mature for his age, which is why most of his friends are a few years older than him. Carson can be a bit stuck up though and a bit of a prima donna. When he’s not busy rehearsing lines for his school's theater productions, Carson is confined to his room blasting Aerosmith, Ozzy Osborne, and writing his own lyrics to songs he’ll never share.

~~~

Meet the Rose Kids

Declan Rose

Declan Rose is the eighteen-year-old son of Axl Rose. He’s the spitting image of his father, except with shorter ginger hair with longer pieces framing his freckled face. Declan is unique in the fact that he refuses to follow in his father’s footsteps. While he enjoys listening to rock and his father’s old vinyl collection, Declan prefers hip-hop and rap music, much to his father’s dismay. Like Axl, Declan is extremely intelligent, and would decide to major in philosophy or psychology in college. He also does have his father’s temper, and while sometimes his father was misunderstood, Declan is lucky to have Katerina Neil around. She calms him down and supports his true personality, even if they have to keep their relationship hidden from their parents.

Easton Rose

Easton Rose is the eight-year-old son of Axl Rose. Easton was lucky enough to inherit his father’s hair color, but instead of the long locks, Easton’s hair is shorter and usually styled with gel. The eight-year-old is as stubborn as they come with a hyper and fiery personality to match his hair. He’s an athletic young boy who is also extremely personable and will talk to anyone. He’s impatient, especially when he wants his older brother Declan to help him with homework or play baseball in the backyard with his best friends Logan Adler and Hunter McKagan. Easton is a little flirt and has no problem charming ladies of any age. Easton also has a big crush on his brother’s girlfriend, Kat.

Calla Rose

Calla Rose is the five-year-old daughter of Axl Rose, and she is the queen of the household. Calla is the only child with blonde hair, but every now and again Axl dyes pieces of her pink (with temporary spray on hair color of course) to match the large gemstone on the tiara she wears around the house. Calla Rose is quite shy around other people, and it takes her a good twenty minutes before she’s able to muster up the courage to play with other children in preschool. Axl Rose is fully wrapped around his daughter’s finger, and it’s not shocking to catch them in the midst of coloring, ballet dancing, or playing with dolls.

Willa Rose

Willa Rose is the four-month-old daughter of Axl Rose. She’s a chubby baby with ginger hair and big hazel eyes. She loves making faces at her big sister and listening to her daddy as he sings her to sleep at night.

Meet the McKagan Kids

Ryan McKagan

Ryan McKagan is the sixteen-year-old son of Duff McKagan. If teenage girls could use one word to describe this boy, it’s this: heartthrob. He’s tall with wavy blonde hair and a welcoming smile, it’s no wonder the girls in high school drool over him. Ryan can be found exercising (as he’s a hockey player) or running around his neighborhood five days out of the week. Ryan does smoke cigarettes and drinks on occasion, much to his father’s disapproval. Ryan tries not to take life too seriously and would have definitely picked up on some of his dad’s lame jokes. Around his neck is the letter ‘F’ attached to a gold chain as it’s the first initial of his girlfriend’s name, Farrah. Even if they have a rough relationship (thanks to Ryan being a typical flirt around other girls) he’s confident Farrah is the girl for him, so he never takes the necklace off. While Ryan didn’t necessarily inherit many of his father’s traits, what he did receive is the ability to sing. His father has taught him how to play guitar, and they’ll sit on the porch outside in the fall, singing and strumming to Guns N’ Roses old songs.

Hunter McKagan

Hunter is the seven-year-old son of Duff McKagan. Hunter’s hair is darker than his older brother’s, but lightens up in the sun. The seven-year-old boy loves to swim and skateboard (lessons are provided for free by Dillon Mars, Issac Stradlin, and Ezra Hudson), and he’s an absolute terror when he chases his family around the house shooting Nerf gun darts at them. He’s also the reason Duff cannot find his cowboy hats, as Hunter will usually steal them and wear them throughout the day.

Meet the Hudson Kids

Ezra Hudson

Ezra Hudson is the eighteen-year-old son of Saul ‘Slash’ Hudson. Ezra is a bit shorter than his father, and yet could be his brother. Ezra was blessed with the most beautiful curls, and unlike his father he usually keeps them out of his face with headbands or ponytails. Ezra doesn’t have just one style, either. Somedays, he’ll dress head to toe in leather. Other days he prefers flannels and jeans, or button ups and khakis. Ezra is definitely a gamer. He also enjoys hiking, fishing, and hunting. He’s also into music, but is still learning how to play acoustic guitar. College is not in the cards for Ezra, as his dream is to form his own band. As for Ezra’s love life, he’s a total chick magnet. Unfortunately, he’s invisible to the only girl he wants: Isabel Stradlin.

Mali Hudson

Mali is the six-year-old daughter of Saul ‘Slash’ Hudson. She and her sister Maya were also blessed with their father’s glorious curly hair, and they’re damn proud of it. Mali’s hair is only to her shoulders, which is how you can tell twin from twin. At just six-years-old, little Mali has a plethora of hobbies such as origami, bracelet making, and flower pressing. Many of her crafts are given to either her parents or Farrah Adler.

Maya Hudson

Maya is the six-year-old daughter (also the oldest twin between herself and Mali) of Saul ‘Slash’ Hudson. Maya has no problem wearing identical outfits with her sister, but their personalities couldn’t be more opposite. Maya loves to wrestle with her older brother and cousins (especially Declan who refuses to wrestle back for fear of hurting her) as well as having interests in dinosaurs, rock climbing, karate, and reptiles (she convinced her family to adopt two snakes and a lizard).

Meet the Stradlin Kids

Isaac Stradlin

Issac Stradlin is the seventeen-year-old son of Izzy Stradlin. With dark shaggy hair, bright eyes, sharp jaw and toned body, Isaac comes off as intimidating at first glance. He can be intense about the things he is passionate about (music, poetry, history) but more often than not Isaac is laidback and easygoing. Isaac’s musical knowledge comes from what his father has taught him through the years, and he’s incredibly talented when it comes to playing instruments such as guitar, drums, keyboard, flute, and trumpet. He doesn’t particularly enjoy his father’s dark and gloomy style of dress that includes black jeans, black button ups, and even black hats, as he feels more comfortable in sweatpants and tank tops. As Isaac is the only boy that doesn’t mind babysitting and playing with the little girls, he has accidentally found himself a fan club whose members consist of Penny Lee, Calla Rose, Harlow Sixx, and twins Mali and Maya Hudson.

Isabel Stradlin

Isabel Stradlin is the seventeen-year-old daughter of Izzy Stradlin and the younger of the two between her and her twin brother, Isaac. Isabel marches to the beat of her own drum and has what most would call a ‘bone to pick with the world’ attitude. Isabel has had many different styles, but her current wardrobe is grunge. Isabel considers herself a humanitarian, constantly joining in protests while simultaneously volunteering at homeless shelters and soup kitchens. Because of her compassionate heart, it’s no secret that she and Farrah Adler are inseparable. Isabel would inherit her father’s artistic ability, but her art would range from pottery to graffiti portraits.

Meet the Adler Kids

Farrah Adler

Farrah Adler is the sixteen-year-old daughter of Steven Adler. Her blonde hair is mostly straight with a few layers here and there, and she has the same vibrant and playful eyes as her father. Farrah’s style is mostly hippie influenced (but on occasion she can rock a leather jacket and bandana), and she has more of a laid back personality, something she absolutely did NOT get from her dad. As someone who treasures the beauty of the Earth and its creatures, Farrah would join in rallies such as ‘save the sea turtles’ and volunteer at animal hospitals, where she discovered her calling as a veterinarian. Oh, and she’s 100% vegetarian. Farrah has a peaceful aura, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that she enjoys yoga, astrology, essential oils, journaling, and smoking weed. She also has an on-again-off-again relationship with Ryan McKagan, who she drags to many wildlife rallies.

Logan Adler

Logan Adler is the nine-year-old son of Steven Adler. He has wavy blonde hair past his neck, playful gray eyes, and a love for drumming. Logan inherited his father’s happy-go-lucky spirit, and loves to meddle into his sister’s business when he’s not playing sports or building legos. He definitely is the class clown and loves being the center of attention, which usually results in him being sent to the principal’s office. He’s a jokester, a prankster, and loves getting into trouble.

#niksixx new generation kids #motley crue fanfiction #guns n roses fanfiction #motley crue imagines #guns n roses imagine #nikki sixx #vince neil #mick mars #tommy lee #axl rose #saul hudson #steven adler #duff mckagan #izzy stradlin #gnr fanfic #motley crue fanfic #80s fanfic

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