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jgthirlwell · 4 years ago

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2020 Year In Review

This year once again I invited some friends and colleagues to reflect on 2020

JG Thirlwell

Composer

Foetus Xordox Manorexia Steroid Maximus Venture Bros Archer

www.foetus.org

2020 was a troubling and disturbing year. I created a lot of music and experienced a lot of nights waking at 5am in a panic. I deeply missed the sacred experience of being able to see live music. In its absence of that I listened to a lot of music. It was difficult to whittle down this list but here are a lot of albums I enjoyed in 2020, in no particular order.

Le Grand Sbam Furvent (Dur Et Doux) John Elmquist’s HardArt Group I Own an Ion (900 Nurses) Roly Porter Kistvaen (Subtext) Liturgy Origin Of The Alimonies (YLYLCYN) Clark Kiri Variations (Throttle) Dai Kaht Dai Kaht I & II (Soleil Zeuhl) Chromb Le livre des merveilles (Dur Et Doux) Horse Lords The Common Task (Northern Spy) Ecker & Meultzer Carbon (Subtext) Insane Warrior Tendrils (RJ’s Electrical Connections) Jeff Parker Suite For Max Brown (International Anthem) Jacob Kirkegaard Opus Mors (Topos) Tristan Perich Drift Multiply (Nonesuch) Bec Plexus Sticklip (New Amsterdam) Vak Budo (Soleil Zeuhl) Merlin Nova BOO! (Bandcamp) The The Muscle OST (Cineola) Zombi 2020 (Relapse) Regis Hidden In This Is The Light That You Miss (Downwards) Rival Consoles Articulation (Erased Tapes) Sarah Davachi Cantus, Descant (L.A.T.E.) Sufjan Stevens The Ascension (Asthmatic Kitty) Idles Ultra Mono (Partisan) Daedelus The Bittereindeers (Brainfeeder) Boris No (Bandcamp) Aksak Maboul Figures / Un peu de l’ame des bandits / Onze Danses Pour Cobattre La Migraine (Crammed) Noveller Arrow (Ba Da Bing) Felicia Atkinson Everything Evaporate (Shelter Press) Ital Tek Dream Boundary (Planet Mu) Author and Punisher Beastland (Relapse) Sparks A Steady Drip Drip Drip (BMG) Corima Amatarasu (Soleil Zeuhl) Code Orange Underneath (Roadrunner) Deerhoof Future Teenage Cave Artists /Silly Symphonies / To Be Surrounded../ Love Lore(Joyful Noise) Sote Moscels (Opal Tapes) Run The Jewels RTJ4 (Jewel Runners) Oranssi Pazuzu Mestarin Kynsi (Nuclear Blast) Master Boot Record Floppy Disk Overdrive (Metal Blade) Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith The Mosaic Of Transformation (Ghostly International) / Ears (Western Vinyl) Michael Gordon Acquanetta (Cantelope) Neom Arkana Temporis (Soleil Zeuhl) Rian Treanor Ataxia / File Under UK Metaplasm (Planet Mu) Helm Saturnalia (Alter) Ivvvo doG (Halcyon Veil) Robert Normandeau Figures (Empreintes Digitales) Ben Vida Reducing The Tempo To Zero (Shelter Press) Beatrice Dillon Workaround (Pan) Dan Deacon Mystic Familiar (Domino) Sea Oleena Weaving A Basket (Higher Plain Music) Elysian Fields Transience Of Life (Ojet) Rhapsody Symphony Of Enchanted Lands II - The Dark Secret (Magic Circle) Duma Duma (Nyege Nyege) Ulla Strauss Tumbling Towards a Wall / Seed (Bandcamp)

Honorable mentions Carl Stone Stolen Car (Unseen Worlds) Nazar Guerilla (Hyperdub) Iwo Zaluski with the Children of Park Lane Primary School, Wembley The Remarkable Earth Making Machine (Trunk) Nahash Flowers Of The Revolution (SVBKVLT) Cindy Lee Whats Tonight To Eternity (Bandcamp) Insect Ark The Vanishing (Profound Lore) 33EMYBW Arthropods (SVBKVLT) Declan McKenna Zeroes (Tomplicated) Layma Azur Zeii (Bandcamp)

FILM TV Succession ZeroZeroZero Escape at Dannemora 1917 Small Axe : Five films by Steve McQueen Pirhanas Monos The Hater Better Call Saul

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Drew Daniel

Matmos, The Soft Pink Truth

an alphabet of 2020 recordings

Arca “KiCk i” BFTT “Intrusive / Obtrusive” clipping. “Visions of Bodies Being Burned” Duma “Duma” Eilbacher, Max “Metabolist Meter (Foster, Cottin, Caetani and a Fly)” Forbidden Colors “La Yeguada” GILA “Energy Demonstration” HiedraH Club de Baile “Bichote-K Bailable Vol. 2” Ian Power “Maintenance Hums” Jeff Carey “Index[off]” Kassel Jaeger “Meith” Laurie Anderson “Songs From the Bardo” Mukqs “Water Levels” Negativland “The World Will Decide” O’Rourke, Jim “Shutting Down Here” Perlesvaus “These Things Below with Those Above” Quicksails “Blue Rise” Rian Treanor “File Under UK Metaplasm” Slikback “///” Terminal Nation “Holocene Extinction” Ulcerate “Stare Into Death and Be Still” Various Artists “HAUS of ALTR” William Tyler “New Vanitas” Xyla “Ways” Y A S H A “Summations” :zoviet-france: “Châsse 2ᵉ”

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Sarah Lipstate (Noveller)

With all live performances canceled, this was truly the year of demo videos and home studio recording for me. These are 10 pieces of gear that came out in 2020 that helped keep me feeling creative and inspired during lockdown. In no particular order:

EHX Oceans 12 Dual Stereo Reverb - The Oceans 12 ticks all the boxes for what I’m looking for in a great soundscaping reverb. I used the Shimmer and Reverse algorithms in conjunction a lot when I was composing music for a film score.

Chase Bliss Audio Blooper - While I don’t actually own a Blooper, I had the pleasure of borrowing one from Mike of Baranik Guitars after NAMM this year. He made an incredible Blooper-inspired guitar and I was completely charmed by them both. Chase Bliss always delivers pedals that push me creatively and the Blooper truly hits the mark.

Cooper FX Arcades - I love everything Cooper FX has released to-date so the opportunity to access those sounds in one pedal via plug-in cartridges is just awesome.

SolidGoldFX NU-33 - I was asked to do a demo of this pedal for its release and ended up being really charmed by this box’s approach to lo-fi nostalgia. I’ve used it a lot for film scoring and highly recommend adding it to your collection.

Demedash Effects T-120 DLX V2 - I LOVE a good tape echo and the T-120 Deluxe V2 ranks up there with the best I’ve tried. This pedal made its way to me this Christmas and I look forward to making some beautiful sounds with it in the new year.

Hologram Electronics Microcosm - The Microcosm is one of those pedals where you should fully read the manual before diving in but once you put in that initial effort you’ve got a massively powerful tool on your hands. It does glitch like no other. Definitely worth the homework

Azzam Bells MP019 - I discovered this unique instrument through a post on Reverb’s IG page and immediately looked it up and ordered one. These experimental percussion instruments are hand-made in Italy and they’re as beautiful visually as they are sonically. I used it for bowed cymbal and daxophone sounds on a film score and it was absolutely haunting.

Echopark Dual Harmonic Boost 2 - I love the control you have over dialing in the perfect amount of grit with these dual boost circuits. I use it a lot as a textural tool when I’m laying down drones or bringing in big distorted swells. It’s one of the most versatile overdrives in my collection and I love that.

Fender Parallel Universe Series Volume II Maverick Dorado - I was smitten with the Maverick Dorado when I first saw it at NAMM. It has a lot of the specs that I look for in a guitar and the body shape with the Mystic Pine finish just blew me away. I hope that I get to use it live soon.

Polyeffects Beebo - The Beebo is one of those pedals that I genuinely feel is smarter than I am. It’s like an entire computer in one small touchscreen box. I can’t claim to have mastered using it yet but the sounds that I have managed to get out of it so far have been brilliant. I’m looking forward to spending more time with this box in 2021

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HELM 2020 REVIEW

Let's get the bad stuff out the way first, 2020 was undoubtedly an awful year. I'm still not sure how to really respond to seeing a global pandemic bring the capital to its knees and everything I love and hold dear to a grinding halt. Our government fucked it's response, putting profit before people and killing tens of thousands. The Labour Party descended into farce with the newly elected leader Sir Keith revealing himself as a bland centrist with no opposition or ideas. On a personal level it sucked not being able to travel or see my friends in different parts of the world - or even the same country - who I am starting to miss a lot. However, I was fortunate enough to get through the year with my sanity intact. Music, art and culture once again being my main positive. I think I listened to more music than I have in any year ever. I read more books than I have done since I was a teenager probably. I also re-discovered the joys of walking long distances and am extremely thankful for living near a lot of incredible green spaces: Epping Forest, Walthamstow Wetlands, Walthamstow Marshes, Wanstead Park, Wanstead Flats...

Music. My favourite albums of the year.

Oranssi Pazuzu - Mestarin kynsi Wetware - Flail Raspberry Bulbs - Before The Age Of Mirrors Necrot - Mortal Rope Sect - The Great Flood Private World - Aleph Oneohtrix Point Never - Magic Oneohtrix Point Never Pyrrhon - Abcess Time CS+Kreme - Snoopy Speaker Music - Black Nationalist Sonic Weaponry Drew McDowall - Agalma Regis - Hidden In This Is The Light That You Miss Nazar - Guerilla Zoviet France - Russian Heterodoxical Songs (and all the ZF reissues!!) Triple Negative - God Bless the Death Drive Permission - Organised People Suffer Actress - Karma & Desire Acolytes - Stress II The Gerogerigegege - >(decrescendo) Chubby & The Gang - Speed Kills Flora Yin-Wong - Holy Palm Eiko Ishibashi - Hyakki Yagyo The The - See Without Being Seen Prurient - Casablanca Flamethrower Henning Christiansen - L’essere Umano Errabando La Voce Errabando Subdued - Over The Hills And Far Away Rian Treanor - File Under UK Metaplasm Komare - The Sense Of Hearing Shredded Nerve - Acts Of Betrayal Jesu - Terminus Autechre - SIGN Hey Colossus - Dances / Curses Sparkle Division - To Feel Embraced Mark Harwood - A Perfect Punctual Paradise Under My Own Name Still House Plants - Fast Edit The Bug & Dis Fig - In Blue Kommand - Terrorscape Haus Arafna - Asche Khthoniik Cerviiks - Æequiizoiikum Worm - Gloomlord Kraus - A Golden Brain Faceless Burial - Speciation

A shout-out to Jon Abby's AMPLIFY series on Bandcamp / Facebook, which I contributed a new piece of music to.

A shout out to the labels where most of the music I listened to seemed to come from:

The Trilogy Tapes Iron Bonehead Penultimate Press Dais La Vida Es Un Mus

Gigs. Despite live music being destroyed in 2020 I still saw a few unforgettable performances at the beginning of the year.

Graham Lambkin @ The ICA, London Puce Mary / JFK @ The Glove That Fits, London Demilich @ Finnfest, The Garage, London Container / PC World / National Unrest @ Venue MOT, London S.H.I.T / Asid / Chubby & The Gang @ Static Shock Festival, ExFed, London

Books I enjoyed. Most not published this year, but all read in 2020.

Joe Kennedy - Authentocrats David Balzer - Curationism Tom Mills - BBC: The Myth Of A Public Service Simon Morris - Consumer Guide: Special Edition Luke Turner - Out Of The Woods Various - Bad News For Labour Mike Wendling - Alt-Right Baited Area issues 1 & 2.

Film. Three good films I saw this year which I hadn't before.

Suspiria (Remake) Midsommar Cannibal Holocaust

Podcasts. I listened to a lot of these whilst walking.

We Don't Talk About The Weather Novara Media Tysky Sour & Novara FM Grounded with Louis Theroux System of Systems Red Scare loveline episodes Suite 212 NOISEXTRA Social Discipline CONTAIN

TV.

Didn't watch a huge amount and what I did was mostly trash. For some reason I rewatched both series' of This Life, a British drama from the late 90's about a group of young professionals house sharing and navigating their careers. Very cringey and has aged terribly, but it was perversely fascinating to revisit something from that time in the age of the pandemic. Following on from this I binge watched the entire series of Industry which was entertaining enough. A programme about a bunch of horny bankers with what felt like a confused ideology behind it. It seemed stuck between trying to criticise and glorify the culture around the industry, but also protect the industry itself from outside criticism by portraying anyone who may oppose as an insufferable wanker. Currently halfway through Succession which is OK. The Murdoch documentaries on the BBC were excellent and a rare respite from their descent into client journalism.

Thanks to anyone who listened to my music this year also. Best wishes to you all for 2021.

Luke Younger

http://hhelmm.com | http://alter.bandcamp.com

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Elliott Sharp

composer

1. My Nr. 1 lesson: patience. Whether it's bouncing through 30 seconds of severe turbulence at 39000 feet or slogging through 30 minutes of a interminable piece of concert music, one attribute I've tried to develop is the ability to see past the discrete and awaited ending, the exact framing of the immediate process, but put it into the context of a larger time frame. I've found that this year more than all others has demanded it. Breathing helps...

2. Books: revisiting old favorites from the realm of Thomas Pynchon and Philip K. Dick (both especially relevant), digging into John Lomax's portrait of Jelly Roll Morton, the works of Colson Whitehead, random things off of the shelf…

3. Composing: with touring off the table, I focused on that which needed to be written, some requested and commissioned, some spontaneously springing forth. Composing requires that one open the windows wide to the world, which at this moment brought in grief, terror, uncertainty, anxiety, visions of plague and pestilence and incipient fascism. Okay, now shut the window and get to work! How to process, translate, transform? The work can be a comfortable and obsessive cocoon once one learns to handle the radioactive materials and put them into the creativity reactor.

4. Beans! We have long been a fan in our house of the wide world of legumes but this year brought two stars to the front: the black bean and the red lentil. The black bean commands the lofty peaks but the seemingly infinite variations of dal surround it. Ginger, garlic, turmeric, smoked paprika, cayenne, onions, and olive oil form the basis then imagination builds.

5. Online teaching substituted for my canceled conduction of workshops in the Pyrenees Mountains of France. Between the participants and myself, we built a temporary but very congenial space online to share concepts and music. In addition, private lessons brought conversation and music with new friends in Germany, Italy, California, Australia, Illinois, Denmark, Pennsylvania, Spain, Florida, Brazil.

6. What started out as "stress baking" (before I even had heard of the term) soon became a frequent practice that yielded very edible results. The twins preferred the sweeter forays into banana bread and chocolate cake. I tried to find a balance between tried-and-true techniques and experiments in texture and taste with yeasted pumpernickels, multi-grains, and seed breads.

7. While not the same as performing 'live ', online gigs proved that it was possible to generate a surprising amount of adrenaline even without the pheromonal handshaking of a room filled with receptive ears. As a corollary, online recording collaborations with friends worldwide proved to be inspiring and a suitable substrate for sonic experimentation, exploration of new instruments, tunings, effects programming, structures. In these realms, shout-outs to Helene Breschand, Mike Cooper, Henry Kaiser, Tracie Morris, Mikel Banks, Dougie Bowne, Payton McDonald, Billy Martin, Colin Stetson, Jim O'Rourke, Scott Amendola, Roberto Zorzi, Jason Hoopes, Eric Mingus, Melanie Dyer, Dave Hofstra, Don McKenzie, Sergio Sorrentino, Veniero Rizzardi, Taylor Ho Bynum, Scott Fields, Bachir Attar, Karl Bruckmaier, Robbie Lee, Matthew Evan Taylor, Matteo Liberatore, Al Kaatz, David Barratt, Jessica Hallock, Kolin Zeinikov, Robbie Lee, Jeremy Nesse, James Ilgenfritz, Sergio Armaroli, Steve Piccolo, Sandy Ewen, David Weinstein, Jim Whittemore, Chris Vine, Werner Puntigam, William Schimmel.

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Daniel O’Sullivan

(Grumbling Fur, Guapo, Miasma & the Carousel of Headless Horses, Ulver, Sunn O))), Æthenor, Laniakea, Miracle, Mothlite, and This Is Not This Heat.)

Music Richard Youngs - Ein Klein Nein Alabaster DePlume - Instrumentals Hildegard von Bingen - O Nobilissima Viriditas Francisco de Penalosa - Missa Ave Maria Peregrina Carlo Gesualdo - Responsoria 1611 Dirty Projectors - Five EPs Sonic Boom - All Things Being Equal Brother Peter Broderick - Blackberry Richard Horowitz - Eros Of Arabia Duncan Trussell Family Hour Cocteau Twins in the bath

Books/comics Alexander Tucker - Entity Reunion II Derek Jarman - Chroma Stephen Harrod Buhner - Plant Intelligence and the Imaginal Realm The Penguin Book Of Irish Poetry - edited by Patrick Crotty The Gospel Of Ramakrishna - translated by Swami Nikhilananda Lucretius - De Rerum Natura Plotinus - Enneads Ram Dass - Grist For The Mill Lisa Brown - Phantom Twin

Other Fasting / meditation / macrodosing Walks in freshly coppiced woodland (for the smell mainly). Plants / Foraging / Growing Traditional ferments Douglas Sirk movies Mandolorian Writing songs on the piano Rediscovery of Kenneth Graham via my kids

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Karl O’Connor (Regis)

01.Wolfgang Press - Unremembered, Remembered 02. Klara Lewis - Ingrid Live at Fylkingen 03. Jesu - Terminus 04. Dave Ball - Leeds Poly Demos 1979 05. Edwin Pouncey - Rated Sav X (the Savage Pencil Skratchbook) 06. The Bug - In Blue 07. New Order - Power,Corruption and Lies ( Writing Sessions ) 08. JG Thirlwell and Simon Steensland - Oscillospira 09. FM Einheit and Andreas Ammer - Hammerschlag 10. Thurston Moore - By The Fire 11. Body Stuff - Body Stuff 3 12. Ann M Hogan - Honeysuckle Burials 13. Rob Halford - Confess (Autobiography)

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Caleb Braaten (Sacred Bones Records)

Shirley Collins Hearts Ease Dehd Flowers Of Devotion Duma Duma Bob Dylan Rough and Rowdy Ways Green-House Six Songs for Invisible Gardens John Jeffery Passage Drew McDowall Agalma Sweeping Promises Hunger For a Way Out Colter Wall Western Swing & Waltzes and Other Punchy Songs Woods Strange to Explain

My Favorite 90’s Nostalgia Movie Rewatches

Colors Ghost Dog Menace II Society The Player Rounders Safe Starship Troopers Trees Lounge Vampires Waiting For Guffman

Most Culturally Bankrupt Year : 1997

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Charlie Looker

(composer, Psalm Zero, Extra Life, Seaven Teares)

Ten Things That Didn’t Happen in 2020

1. I didn’t write a ton of new music. Don’t get me wrong, I wrote some. I always do. But mostly I focused on my new YouTube channel, essays, and on getting old recordings released. I haven’t even been working a day-job so I thought I was going to write my next Ring Cycle, but I really didn’t find Covid inspiring.

2. Trump wasn’t re-elected. Cool.

3. I didn’t lose anyone to Covid. I am, of course, profoundly grateful for this. But I feel pretty embarrassed remembering group-texting ten friends in March, “We are all going to see a loved one die. Every single one of us. Don’t kid yourselves”. I can get hysterical, and that was somewhat irresponsible of me.

4. No revolution happened. I don’t mean to be smug or cynical, or to belittle anyone’s participation in the protests. But, as far as I can tell, nothing happened in 2020 that promises to reduce police brutality or human suffering of any kind. We’ll see. That burning Minneapolis police station was exciting to watch at the time, if only on an aesthetic level.

5. I have a stack of unread books I bought this year, just staring at me, with nary a crease among them. These include:

Adorno and Horkheimer, The Dialectic of Enlightenment (looks amazing, but I haven’t touched it) Marx, Grundrisse (it’s 1000 pages for fuck’s sake. Amazon also accidentally sent me two copies, and its double presence in the stack is just comical) Reza Negarestani, Intelligence and Spirit (the first 15 pages blew my mind, then my mind blew it off)

6. I didn’t settle into living in LA. I moved here six months before Covid and I was just starting to cultivate some friendships and play shows. This was quashed and I still feel like I still live in New York. I still barely know the layout of the city here.

7. No brand-new buzzy musical artists burst onto the scene, that I can recall. No new hyped micro-genre of the moment. There was just no way for there to be a hot new trend. I’d say that was refreshing, but it wasn’t.

8. Tyson’s return was not awesome. Two minute rounds, ended in a draw. I’ve been getting way into boxing this past year. This fight was a bummer. I’m looking forward to Mayweather vs Logan Paul (LOL) because we know it’s comedy ahead of time.

9. For three weeks in July, I didn’t do a single thing other than watch street fight compilations on YouTube and Worldstar. That’s just grim.

10. There were no school shootings in March. Apparently, this was the first March with no school shootings since 2002. Not a single 7th grader got a hand job in March either. I cannot begin to imagine what it’s like to be a kid now.

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Chuck Bettis

https://chuckbettis.com

Other People's Music released this year:

Coil "Musick to Play in the Dark" (Dais)

Duma "s/t" (Nyege Nyege Tapes) Twig Harper "External Boundless Prison/ in 4 parts EP" (self-release) I.P.Y. (Ikue Mori, Phew, YoshimiO) "I.P.Y." (Tzadik) Kill Alters "A2B2 Live Stream 11/13/2020" (self-release) Krallice "Mass Cathexis" (self-release) Lust$ickPuppy "Cosmic Brownie" (self-release) Doug McKechnie "San Francisco Moog: 1968-72" (VG+ Records) Merlin Nova "Boo!" (self-release) Omrb "Milandthriust, The Graths of Mersh" (self-release) Akio Suzuki & Aki Onda "gi n ga" (self-release) Yoth Iria "Under His Sway" (Repulsive Echo) Wetware "Flail" (Dais)

My own music released this year:

collaborations

Chatter Blip "Microcosmopolitan" (Contour Editions) Matmos "The Consuming Flame: Open Exercises in Group Form" (Thrill Jockey) Reverse Bullets "Dreampop Dsyphoria" (self-release) Snake Union "live at Roulette" (self-release) Snake Union w/ Hisham Bharoocha, Bonnie Jones, Heejin Jang, Matthew Regula "Three Arrows" (Rat Route) Thomas Dimuzio "Balance" (Gench Music) YoshimiO & Chuck Bettis "Live at the Stone" (Living Myth)

solo Chuck Bettis "Arc of Enlghtenment" (Living Myth) Chuck Bettis "Motion Parallax" (Living Myth)

compilation Various Artist "Polished Turds Vol.1" (Granpa)

Music Books read this year

"Intermediary Spaces" by Eliane Radigue/Julia Eckhardt (Umland) "Ennio Morricone In His Own Words" by Ennio Morricone/Alessandro De Rosa (Oxford University Press) "Free Jazz In Japan: A Personal History" by Soejima Teruto (Public Bath Press) "Rumors of Noizu: Hijokaidan and the Road to 2nd Damascus" by Kato David Hopkins (Public Bath Press)

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Maya Hardinge

(musician / artist)

list of things i liked this year

first ever solo road trip through new mexico and Texas right before lockdown experiencing manhattan with no cars on the road . having a car to escape in to nature. (which i craved so much) walks and bike rides with friends… FRIENDS! The web site ‘workaway’ that helped me feel that there were options for escape. playing games weekly on zoom during lock down teaching yoga weekly on zoom. Witnessing and being part of the BLM protests. witnessing and being part of the demise of T sitting on my couch at 6am drinking a cup of tea, appreciating my apt. making time to meditate. halloween without tourists .

some music I’ve bought and/or enjoyed this year Elvis Perkins-Black Coat Daughter Patricia Kokett -Soi soi Henning Christiansen - OP201 Bryce Hackford- Safe Svitlana Nianio and Oleksander - Snayesh yak? rozkazhy Brannten schnure - Sommer im Pfirsichhain Killing Joke - Nighttime David Shea - Tower of mirrors Shakey - Shakey Woodford halse tapes Coil - Musick to play in the dark

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BJ Nilsen

sound artist / composer

Work 2020

Despite Covid 19 lots of things actually did happen.

In Feburary I visited the only active nuclear plant in The Nederlands as part of my "Expanded Field Recording” project together with SML. In March revisited the Acousmonium at the Elevate Festival in Graz with an additional trip deep inside the Schlossberg recording old mining trains. In March and April I did two daily recording projects “Pending and Auditory Scenes” - both of Amsterdam during lockdown. In May did my first Zoom field recording workshop with the CAMP project. In June & July two research trips in Waldviertel, Austria with Franz Pomassl. In August recorded bells and organs in 10 different churches around Amsterdam for Jacob Lekkerkerker. In September recorded Kali Malone at the Orgelpark in Amsterdam. Performed at Heart of Noise Festival in Innsbruck and A4 in Bratislava. Also went ice-skating for first time in 20? Years. In November and December I travelled to Jeju island to record field recordings for a project by Femke Herregraven for the Gwangju Biennale, commissioned for 2021. Did lots of gardening, released two tapes “Call it Philips, Eindoven” and “Zomer 2020” with Sigtryggur Berg Sigmarsson. NOW! Looking forward to 2021.

http://bjnilsen.info https://soundcloud.com/bjnilsen/sets/auditory-scenes-amsterdam

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Vicki Bennett

(People Like Us)

Negativland - True False https://negativland.com/products/truefalse-cd (this came out last year but is so THIS year) Bob Dylan - Rough and Rowdy Ways https://www.bobdylan.com/albums/rough-and-rowdy-ways/ The Soft Pink Truth - We from Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase https://thesoftpinktruth.bandcamp.com/album/shall-we-go-on-sinning-so-that-grace-may-increase Carl Stone - Stolen Car https://unseenworlds.bandcamp.com/album/stolen-car Porest - Sedimental Gurney https://porest.bandcamp.com/album/sedimental-gurney Matmos - The Consuming Flame: Open Exercises in Group Form https://matmos.bandcamp.com/album/the-consuming-flame-open-exercises-in-group-form Domenique Dumont - Miniatures De Auto Rhythm https://antinoterecordings.bandcamp.com/album/atn044-domenique-dumont-miniatures-de-auto-rhythm The The - See Without Being Seen https://www.thethe.com/product/see-without-being-seen-cd/ Ciggy de la Noche - Hold Tight HMRC https://soundcloud.com/ciggydelanoche/hold-tight-hmrc Neil Cicierega - Mouth Dreams http://www.neilcic.com/mouthdreams/

and my details: http://peoplelikeus.org/ https://peoplelikeus-vickibennett.bandcamp.com/ pic: http://peoplelikeus.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Welcome-Abroad-promo3-2-scaled.jpg

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DJ Food

Music - Type 303 - Sticky Disco / Analogue Acidbath 7" (45 Live) The British Space Group - The Ley of the Land CD (Wyrd Britain) Squarepusher - Be Up A Hello LP / Warp 10 NTS mix (Warp) dgoHn - Undesignated Proximate (Modern Love) LF58 - Alterazione LP (Astral Industries) Robert Fripp - Music For Quiet Moments series (DGM) Run The Jewels - RTJ4 (BMG) Simf Onyx - Magenta Skyline / The Unresolved 7" (Delights) Luke Vibert - Modern Rave LP (Hypercolour) JG Thirlwell & Simon Steensland - Oscillospira (Ipecac) Aural Design - Looking & Seeing 7" / DL (Russian Library) Luke Vibert - Rave Hop (Hypercolour) Clipping. with Christopher Fleeger - Double Live (Sub Pop) APAT - Terry Riley's 'In C' performed on Modular Synthesizer (YouTube) Field Lines Cartographer - The Spectral Isle LP (Castles In Space) Jane Weaver - The Revolution of Super Visions single (Fire Records) King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - K.G. LP (Flightless) Humanoid - Hed-Set - forthcoming on (De:tuned)

Film / TV - Inside No.9 (BBC) What We Do In The Shadows Season 2 (Netflix) Tales From The Loop (Amazon) Keith Haring - Street Art Boy (BBC) John Was Trying To Contact Aliens (Netflix) The Social Dilemma (Netflix) The Mandalorian (Season 2) (Disney+) Long Hot Summers - The Style Council documentary (Sky Arts) Zappa (Alex Winter)

Books / Comics / Magazines Confessions of a Bookseller - Shaun Bythell (Profile books) The Often Wrong - Farel Dalrymple (Image Comics) Edwin Pouncey - Rated SavX (Strange Attractor Press) Jeffrey Lewis - Fuff (all issues - really late to the party on this one) Rian Hughes - XX - A Novel, Graphic (Picador) Cosey Fanni Tutti - Art, Sex, Music (Faber) Caza - Kris Kool (Passenger Press) Dan Lish - Egostrip Vol.1 Electronic Sound magazine Decorum - Jonathan Hickman & Mike Huddleston (Image) John Higgs - Stranger Than We Can Imagine Simon Halfon - Cover To Cover (Nemperor)

Very few exhibitions or shows this year for obvious reasons

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34 notes · View notes

youaremysunshine-court · 4 years ago

Note

Answer these questions (if you want to) and tag at least 5 people!

Let's get to know you more! 💛🌸🌻

~~~

Your eyecolour:

Last song:

Moon or sun:

Favourite plant:

Book you could re-read a hundred times and more:

Country- or citylife:

Favorite season:

Zodiac sign:

Your 16Personality type:

Book series you grew up with:

Early bird or night owl:

Thank youuuuu anon!!!

Your eye colour: brown

Last song: Dying in a Hot tub, Palace Royale

Moon or sun: Sun

Favourite plant: Aloe Vera, poinsettia, Christmas cactus (I can't choose)

Book I could reread 100 times: Jane Eyre (the brontë sisters are awesome)

Country or city: depends - I love the city but the country will always be my home, I guess a large village would be best

Favourite season: spring - it's not cold, but it isn't boiling either

Zodiac sign: gemini

Your 16 personality test: INTP (I did it a while ago tho)

Book series you grew up with: the Famous Five (actually all of Blyton's books), but she's racist so I'm gonna say the Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis

Early bird or night owl: depends, I'm more active in the mornings, but I get most of my brain work done at night

Tagging @thebeautyofthunderandlightning @thegirlwiththepuffhat @saoirse-1887 @genderkwerfirebird @scrat-is-god if yall want :)

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dulce-studies · 4 years ago

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Winter Studying Challenge

12/12/20 Day 12: Does your family have any odd traditions during the holidays?❄️

No, we don’t! I don’t feel as though we do anything odd, we honestly just *really* started getting into Christmas and this will be the first Christmas we decorate the outside of our house.

Day 11 Goals:

🔏Finish the code for MovieDetailsViewController

🔏Work on Demo Day presentation- share with group members

🖋Practice giving the presentation (via Zoom w/ screen share) and write out a script to get my thoughts on paper

Day 12 Goals, it’s Demo Day:

🖋Practice giving the presentation (via Zoom w/ screen share) and write out a script to get my thoughts on paper

🖋Feel prepared to give the presentation (practice it at least 5 times)

🖋Work on RA application- ask for letters of rec

I started the last goal for Day 11. I wrote out my script on paper to get my thoughts out there and before bed (11 minutes past my bedtime!!) I timed the presentation and it was over 4 minutes (when I talk fast) and I have to get it down to 3 with me talking moderately slow. That’s the main thing that I have to work on, I feel pretty good! Also I might want to add more pictures to our final slide (3 slide pitch deck) in order to increase our chances of winning. It’s fun to present, but dude I would appreciate some money! Today I’ll also practice giving the presentation to some friends via Zoom.

Unrelated: I’m really excited for the Spring semester! I plan on taking less heavy hitter classes (when I do I feel like I can only focus on half of them) and a lot of my classes are ones that I’m interested in! Like my Spanish II class (which I expect an A in), my mentor class (also an A but kinda depends on my mentee), my extern class (I think that if my applied credits increase it’ll count towards my gpa), my philosophy class (probably an A, I need to stay up to date because I think there are a lot of readings), calc class (B lowest because I really struggle with this so I know I need to get to work over the winter to prepare for this class), and my cs introduction class (that I have to re-take, but I plan to get an A now that I’ve learned more abt the actual application of programming). Also I think I’m looking forward to spring because that means that summer is coming and then fall and by then I won’t be staying in my parents house anymore!!!!!!

Another side bar: not sure if people can tell, but I really love to plan things out! I have struggled with the follow through, but I love to plan! So I’ll just make sure my goals are more specific from now on!

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wistfulcynic · 4 years ago

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So I was just rereading On What They Fall for the umpteeth time (so much angsty goodness) and I was just wondering what you envisioned happened in that CS’ version of the future?

If you were ever going to write a follow up, please don’t feel obligated to answer, but I feel like to truly be together, Killian would have eventually had to make a return to Storybrooke to heal his relationship with the town. I mean if Emma is his family, her parents would, for better or worse, come with the package.

Do her parents eventually apologize/accept him a la what happened in the show? Does David give a blessing for marriage? Does she show everyone there how wrong they were? Does Emma go to grad school? Does he write more books? Do they have a lovely wedding on this boat and then lots of cute babies afterwards? 🤗

(Do I love this story way too much and want to know what the happy beginnings are? Yes, yes I do. Lol)

Oh my goodness, anon, I love this question so, so much. I don’t currently have any plans to write a follow-up to On What They Fall, mainly because the story I wanted to tell is told. However, I don’t mind at all telling you how I envision things playing out in the future of that verse.

First, the simpler questions. Yes, Emma goes to grad school and yes, Killian writes more books. He already had a contract for a second one and writing is absolutely his calling, so he makes a very successful career of it. Emma also finds her motivation with his support and her renewed desire to do something meaningful with her life. I definitely think they would get married, perhaps on the boat (why not? it’s a meaningful place for both of them) and eventually have children, though after Emma’s had time to finish her course and establish her career. There’s no rush.

As for the question of how they handle her family and his return to Storybrooke, that’s much trickier. I agree with you that it’s important for him to return eventually, but he really doesn’t want to and so I think it would take a bit of time and counselling before he’s ready. It would likely be at Thanksgiving or Christmas, and they would stay with Belle and see Emma’s parents briefly for a meal or gift exchange, possibly with Belle there too as moral support for Killian. By then, David will have absolutely been schooled by Emma on a number of things, such as forming judgements on people before they’re even fully grown and pressuring her into relationships she doesn’t really want. She’d make David read Killian’s book(s) to help him understand, and by the time they meet again David’s ready to have an open mind and to accept that his daughter loves this man and nothing he can say or do will change that. But it would take another few years of awkward holidays before Killian and David really became comfortable with each other, perhaps after Emma and Killian have a child.

I am massively thrilled that you love this story enough to re-read it and ask these kinds of questions! Thank you, and if you haven’t already please check out @ohmightydevviepuu‘s stunningly brilliant art for it. It’s Killian’s Instagram and it’s absolutely freaking perfect.

#anon asks #asked and answered #lovely shipmates #on what they fall #profdanglaisstuff #ohmightydevviepuu

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searchingwardrobes · 5 years ago

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Self-Promo Sunday: Descended from Delilah

Okay, first of all, let me make something clear: I am NOT deleting this fic from Ao3. I’m actually not deleting anymore because I just can’t bear to get rid of the fics that are left there. Now that’s out of the way . . .

Not only does this fic pre-date my tumblr days, but @sherlockianwhovian also gifted me with the gorgeous art above at Christmas. So I just had to share it here along with this fic that has a special place in my heart.

I was inspired to write this in a surprising way - after re-reading the story of Delilah and Samson in the Bible. Apparently, there is also an old saying that all women are “descended from Delilah,” meaning that women are all seductresses luring men to their downfall. Obviously, I think that idea is ridiculous, but then it got me thinking: “there are a ton of stories about women who don’t trust men because they have been betrayed, why can’t a man have trust issues due to betrayal?” I wanted to write something along that vein, and since I always felt Killian’s past hurts largely get ignored in fandom, I decided to do it in a CS fic. And what better scenario than a Captain Duckling tale in which Emma has been loved and nurtured her whole life while Killian has been abused and betrayed?

What was fun about writing this was taking each iconic Captain Swan scene and literally flipping the script, having Emma tear down Killian’s walls instead. Not to get too analytical here, but it really made me open my eyes to reverse sexism. We allow Emma to be downright cruel to Killian at times, and that was put into startling clarity when I put those same words and actions onto Killian. Therefore, writing this without Killian looking like a huge jerk was the biggest obstacle. I was really proud of myself for achieving it (at least I think I did!)

Summary: After being cruelly betrayed by the only woman he has ever loved, Killian Jones vows never again to trust a woman with his heart. Even if she is a princess. Even if she saved his sorry arse from the bloody dungeon.

Rating: T

Length: 10 chapters

Killian Jones had fallen asleep in the safest place he could. Or so he thought. Milah’s fingers carding through his hair, his head in her lap, and a soft sea shanty falling from her lips. His contentment had been complete. Completely misplaced, that is.

To awaken from that sweet, blissful oblivion into harsh reality filled with rough hands and cold steel was disconcerting, to say the least. His eyes were still a bit blurry from slumber as he was hauled from Milah’s lap and tossed across the cabin. His first thought was her and her safety, which spurred him all the more to fight his captor’s grasp. He pulled away from the meaty hands to find himself encircled by members of the Misthaven Royal Navy. And Milah . . . he expected her to cry his name, expected her to be fighting right along with him. But she wasn’t. She stood a few steps away, her face awash in shame, and only then did it dawn on him that she was part of this noose that surrounded him.

“Milah?” he asked, voice broken, still wanting in the deepest parts of his mind to believe that there must be some mistake.

“I’m sorry, Killian,” she choked, a tear slipping down her cheek. Then she squared her shoulders and dashed at the wet spot. “Move him over there,” she ordered, “hold him down.”

“What? Milah, what are you doing?” Killian’s eyes never left Milah’s face as he struggled in vain against two of his captors. They wrestled him over to the desk, and a third man shoved him forward. Killian grunted as he was held down by both shoulders, his left arm extended and pinned down. His eyes widened as Milah pulled a sword from the scabbard of the lieutenant at her right.

“Again, I’m sorry,” she continued as she stepped closer, “but the Dark One has my son, and I can’t get Baelfire back without proof.”

Milah’s voice was cold, devoid of emotion, as if she had to cut herself off from feeling in order to go through with what she was about to do. Killian watched in morbid fascination as she raised the sword over her head, as if he were watching this happen to someone else. Even when he realized exactly what she was about to do, Killian still thought that it couldn’t be any worse than the pain of her betrayal. But as hard steel sliced through sinew and bone like fire, he learned he was wrong.

You can read the rest on Ao3

Tagging some who might be interested: @snowbellewells @whimsicallyenchantedrose @kmomof4 @xhookswenchx @welllpthisishappening @let-it-raines @teamhook @bethacaciakay @kday426 @superchocovian @shireness-says @spartanguard @stahlop @snidgetsafan @scientificapricot @optomisticgirl @profdanglaisstuff @delirious-latenight-laughs @ekr032-blog-blog @nikkiemms @ultraluckycatnd @hollyethecurious @killian-whump @darkcolinodonorgasm @branlovestowrite @winterbaby89

#cs ff #captain duckling #cs emotional role reversal #which is a thing I just made up #self promo sunday #whump #hurt/comfrot #killian has walls #emma tears them down #this isn't weak wish emma either #just to be clear #descended from delilah

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charmingturkeysandwich · 5 years ago

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“Hope at Christmastime”: A CS Secret Santa Gift

Merry Christmas from your CS Secret Santa, @thislassishooked! I hope you’re enjoying a wonderful holiday season. From our exchanges, I decided that I wanted to do something from Killian’s POV that incorporated lights and decorations. And for some reason, I felt very strongly that I wanted it to be somewhat canon... so here you have it!

This is a season 1 mostly compliant one-shot in which Killian is a fisherman in Storybrooke, and he meets Emma and Henry a few times. Intrigued and oddly hopeful because of Emma’s fiery spirit, he embarks with her on a Christmas quest for bringing about joy.

It’s not pure fluff and leaves some to the imagination, but I felt like it stayed true to their kind of dynamic. I really, really hope you enjoy!

I know I’m a little early, but I’m sick as hell and worried that tomorrow I might not be conscious, so here you have it on Christmas Eve Eve :)

@cssecretsanta2k19

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It was an odd feeling, being half in love with a woman you’d practically just met. But it had been years, decades, lifetimes, probably, since Killian Jones had encountered such a fierce, witty, engaging, interesting, and bloody gorgeous woman like Emma Swan.

He’d been living in Storybrooke, Maine… since forever, really. His brother had been in Storybrooke General since his accident years before – still alive, of course, but the doctors continually warned Killian against having any kind of hope that their lives would ever return to the normalcy of Granny’s for breakfast in the off-season and hard work lobster fishing the rest of the year.

It wasn’t just that Emma was the liveliest woman he’d met in ages, she was simply the liveliest being, as if she somehow was part of a totally different, vibrant world.

Storybrooke was… fine. It was safe. He made a living. The people were well enough – he enjoyed talking with Miss Blanchard, the teacher who often read to the coma patients in her spare time. Archie was kind and generous, if not a little bit condescending at times, but his dog was sweet and always made Killian smile. Even Dr. Whale was all right – understanding about the phantom pains from the loss of Killian’s hand that he couldn’t even remember.

But Emma? She was pure magic.

Rumor was she was the mayor’s son’s biological mother, and little Henry had dragged her from her home of Boston to Storybrooke because he was so damn miserable. It made sense. Regina Mills was possibly the least nurturing person he could think of in the whole of Storybrooke, and no one ever really understood why she decided to adopt a child. Henry was wonderful, though – Killian had always thought so. Precocious, inquisitive, kind… many traits he can now attribute to nature versus nurture.

The fist time he spoke with Emma happened to be while she and Henry were walking along the pier one afternoon. Emma’s brows were stitched together in worry, her voice low as she spoke to her son, the boy clutching a large children’s book and never breaking eye contact with her. It felt intrusive to even witness the exchange, but alas they were in his way, and there wasn’t much he could do to avoid them when he needed to get all of his supplies back to his ship without somehow losing another limb.

“Excuse me, love, Master Henry,” he mumbled breathlessly, twisting to the side to pass them by without knocking either of them in the head with something large and possibly rusty (when was the last time he’d gotten a tetanus shot? Did they even offer them at the hospital here?).

“Hi, Mr. Jones!” Henry called excitedly, rushing past his mother and following Killian onto the Jewel.

“How’s your day going, lad?” Killian asked after hefting the pile of supplies onto the closest surface. The boy looked happy, as usual, but seemed to have an extra glint in his eye.

“Henry, what the hell!” Emma shouted as her boots stomped onto the ship, her blonde curls now mangled from the seaside breeze.

“Don’t worry, I know him! This is Killian. He’s Captain Hook.” Henry said it so matter-of-factly that it didn’t even cross Killian’s mind to be offended about the possibly jab at his handlessness. The way Henry was talking you’d think he was just reading from a biography.

“Kid, what did I tell you about that? Operation Cobra is for you and I only, and, like I said, it might be time to take a little break from it.” Emma’s eyes were full of concern, genuine worry for her boy, but also fear. He knew that well enough from his vague recollections of the accident(s) that scarred him and rendered his brother near lifeless. What was she so afraid of?

His attempts to quell her worry were for naught, as she wasn’t about to trust a single hair on his body. “Love, the lad and I are great friends, aren’t we Henry?”

“I’m not your love. And Henry shouldn’t be running on board the boats of near strangers when I’m hardly trusted to keep him breathing let alone keep him from being kidnapped by Peter Pan.” Emma snapped.

“Mom, he’s Hook, not Pan,” Henry corrected, his tone that of an exasperated teenager despite the boy being no more than ten or eleven.

“I don’t care who he is, I’m not letting him be the reason I’m never allowed to see you again, Henry! You know if your mother knew that you ran onto some dude’s boat who apparently you thought was a pirate under my watchshe’d have me jailed. Again!”

“It’s actually a ship here, love,” Killian couldn’t help himself from pointing out, his amusement at her fiery attitude entirely inappropriate for what was clearly a very strong emotion she was experiencing. But it was simply so foreign to him, a person having… feelings. Beyond despair, anyway.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Mo-om,” Henry chastised, though it wasn’t clear if he was offended by her language or embarrassed that she wasn’t quite a fan of Killian’s… sass.

(Killian hadn’t remembered a single other moment in his life where he’d said something so… unfiltered. Damn.)

“My apologies, love, I’m not sure what’s come over me. I’m usually much more polite. Henry, we all know your mother – Mayor Mills, that is – would look for just about any reason to throw this lovely fireball out of our town permanently. Emma is right to worry. Now how about you two go about your way and I’ll show you more about fishing the next time that Regina approves it?’”

“So, never?” Henry mumbled, rolling his eyes and walking toward the gangway. Emma turned to follow him, but Killian wanted one last chance to apologize.

“I really am sorry, love. I can’t imagine you’re having an easy go of it here in Storybrooke and I just wanted… well, I just wanted you to know that there’s at least one more person on your side than you thought.”

Emma finally looked back at him, incredulous, and Killian suddenly felt quite naked. Reaching to scratch behind his ear, he clarified: “Me, I mean. I’m also on your side.”

She rolled her eyes yet again, but a spark came alive in the smirk she shot back at him. “Good to know, pirate, but I’m not your love.”

From that day, he’d had numerous minor interactions with the Mills/Swan duo. He saw them at breakfast at Granny’s one morning, and Emma refused to so much as look at him, while Henry excitedly told him all about the website he’d used to find Emma (he glossed over how he stole his teacher’s credit card, a fact that Emma still appeared to be quite peeved about). The following week he saw the two of them at the playground that Killian passed on his way to his ship. He re-introduced himself to Emma, as she was yet to actually acknowledge she knew his name, but she only responded with some variant of, “OK Pirate,” which had led to her and Henry laughing like fools for at least five straight minutes.

About a week before Christmas, he finally ran into Emma without her son, and while he’d thought that was something he was hoping for – an opportunity to get to know her without her hiding behind Henry – he realized something awful. That fiery spirit in her – the one he so admired – was dimming. This town, it was getting to her. Was she doomed just like the rest of them to live forever without a happy ending? Or even a happy middle? Was this safe, sweet, seaside town nothing but dashed hopes and broken dreams?

“Uh, Miss Swan?” he asked, cautiously approaching the bench she was sat on, her blonde hair whipping in the breeze, her hands tucked tightly into her flame red jacket.

“What,” she called back, not even looking at him.

Even their non-conversations previously had been some type of banter, some kind of force in his dreary life, but today, she seemed defeated.

He didn’t know much about the world – didn’t really care enough to participate most days – but wasn’t this seasons supposed to be the one where you believed even more strongly than ever that everything might just end up being all right?

“Can I sit?

“It’s a free country.”

“My purpose in sitting with you is to speak to you, and while I could talk at you, I’m actually hoping you’ll talk back. Is that a reasonable wish or shall I keep on moving?” With great effort, he kept his voice light and teasing, when in reality his heart was breaking right along with hers. From what he understood about her life, Henry was new to it, but had nonetheless become its center. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have had hope dangled in front of your face only to possibly have it snatched away.

Instead of snapping back at him, she slowly lifted her head, swept her hair to the side, and patted the seat next to her. “Why would you want to talk to me?” she asked, her eyes once again trained on her feet.

“You look like you could use a friend.”

“I don’t have any friends.”

“You could. I’m here,” he offered.

She exhaled deeply, shaking her head and gripping the bench at either side of her legs. “I don’t know what I’m doing here. I have no right to Henry… I had him young and gave him up for his best chance. And, as usual, I was wrong. And as usual there’s nothing I can do about it now. I’m fighting a losing battle. It’s not like anyone can defeat Regina.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. You’ve certainly gotten under her skin.”

“Yeah, making it all worse for Henry. I’m just being selfish here, aren’t I? Wanting my son back because he says his rightful mommy is an evil queen? I’m sure that’s something a lot of kids his age feel. I just… I just wanted to be wanted, I guess.”

Killian let his right hand graze the back of hers as he shifted slightly closer to her. When she didn’t flinch away, he allowed his hand to fully rest on hers, squeezing ever so slightly.

“You’re not making Henry’s life worse by being here. Believe me, Emma. I know you don’t know me and I don’t know you, but I have eyes. Henry has always been a bright spot in an otherwise lightless town, but since you’ve arrived it’s like he’s a whole new kid. Confident, excited, hopeful. And don’t discredit what you’ve done for everyone else. Miss Blanchard seems happy to have a roommate. Ruby loves when you visit with her at the diner. Granny seems to think of you as a surrogate granddaughter. Our world was black and white and you brought us color, love.”

The shock in her eyes at his words was enough to both warm his heart and enrage him – it’s not as if he was saying anything that should be surprising to her. Who in her life had made her feel so worthless and how soon could he stab them through the heart with his hook?

You know, if he had one.

But her shock wore off as a bit of mirth seemed to take its place. “Now, I can’t take credit for all of that. Granny likes the money I spend. And Mary Margaret… let’s just say I’m not the one fucking her, so I’m definitely not the reason for the extra smiles.”

“Miss Blanchard!” he gasped theatrically, clutching his heart and hamming it up.

“Oh yeah. You might be the native here, but I know all the secrets, friend.”

“So tell me another.”

“Hmmm. Granny’s lasagnas are frozen.”

“No!” This time he was actually shocked. That crazy loon…

“Oh, yeah. And her nonfat pizza crust? Definitely still has fat.”

“That’s it. I’m calling the health inspector.”

“You know, we don’t have one. I think you’d have to call the sheriff,” she chuckled, flipping her hand over on the bench so her palm was against his.

“Hmmmm, think I have an in with her? I’ve heard she’s a spitfire.”

“I don’t know. Depends on the day you approach her. I’ve heard she has mixed feelings about you, Jones.”

“Oh, so you do know my name,” Killian teased, adjusting the fringe around his hat with his stump.

“I tend to remember the people who try to annoy me to death,” she deadpanned, but he caught the ghost of a smirk at the corner of her lips.

“What if, insteaed of annoying you to death, maybe you let me help you?” Killian offered, absolutely no clue what exactly he could offer her when she wasn’t wrong about the futility of fighting with Mayor Mills.

“Hey now, I’m no damsel. No one saves me but me,” she said, pulling her hand from beneath his and tucking it back into her jacket.

“Easy, love. I’m well aware that you’re more likely than any other person in this god forsaken town to actually have some success at anything.”

“You been reading Henry’s book?” Emma turned fully toward him for the first time since he sat, her cheeks red and her eyes dancing with cautious amusement.

“No, I haven’t had the pleasure. Why?”

“Well. According to his book, I’m here to save everyone. Bring back the happy endings.”

“Oh? And where exactly have they gone?”

“The Evil Queen – Regina, actually – has ripped them from you. But I, the daughter of Snow White (Mary Margaret) and Prince Charming (the former coma patient she’s been banging) am the ‘product of true love’ and therefore can break the curse.”

“Damn, you should sell that shit to Disney. You’d make a fortune.”

“Hah. Maybe I should. It’s about the only way I could ever afford to fight Regina the real way, you know with lawyers and money and not … magic.”

It struck him at that moment how true Henry’s story actually rang. Sure, there was no way it was actually real, but hadn’t Killian himself thought countless times how full of life Emma was, how she seemed magical in a world of nothing but ordinary hopelessness? Even if he didn’t believe Henry’s story… scientifically, or what have you – he believed it in his heart.

Emma might not be an actual princess, but she definitely had the power to save. And he’d do anything he could to help her.

“It’s the season for magic, you know?” Killian pointed out, gesturing vaguely toward the wreaths haphazardly hung on the lampposts that led back to main street.

“Are you going to help me achieve a Christmas miracle, Killian?” She reached back toward him and took his hand, squeezing as her eyes sparkled with a plan.

“I’m damn well going to try.”

Together they stumbled through the slippery streets toward Granny’s, armed with an idea and the hopes that Ruby would facilitate their ridiculous plan to bring Henry as much joy as possible, even if Emma couldn’t directly be involved.

“So, you’re telling me you want me to let you decorate the shit out of this place, just so Henry sees it?” Ruby questioned, her one eyebrow nearly touching her hairline, her face so skeptical.

So Killian jumped in. “Listen, Ruby, you know damn well fighting with Regina never ends well. We just have to give the kid some hope. Believing in even the possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing.”

“Are you sleeping with Mary Margaret now, too, because damn that girl gets around.”

“Ruby!” Emma shouted, smacking her on the arm.

“What? Have you seen him? If Mary Margaret isn’t taking her chance with him and you’re not interested, then hello sailor, fancy taking me for a ride?”

“Ruby, fucking focus yourself. Can you help us? And by help us I mean literally offer free decorating service that will likely increase your tips?”

“Oh, fine. For Henry.”

“For Henry!” Emma and Killian repeated, scurrying off to whatever store they could find that carried Christmas lights, tinsel, blow-up polar bears, and any other kind of purchase-able holiday joy.

Once they’d filled three whole carts, they rolled them back to Granny’s, sat down to sip hot chocolate until close, and then went to town, covering every surface with glittery tinsel, jingle bells, reindeer, elves, and pretty little lit-up presents. Killian borrowed a ladder from the short pharmacist so he could string icicle lights across the courtyard outside and Emma filled the big windows at the entrance with those giant bulb style lights of all different colors. At some point after 2am, Ruby texted Emma that the electricity bill was going to be something she’d have to take up with Granny, but Emma just laughed and Killian said he’d pay it and they kept decorating until about 5am when Granny appeared to start baking in preparation for the morning crowd.

“I’m not even going to ask,” was all Granny said to Killian as she entered her now Christmas paper-wrapped front door and Killian’s heart definitely grew two sizes or more when his eyes traveled over to Emma, carefully arranging the Hallmark Disney castle on the ledge next to the table that Henry and Regina often sat at when they stopped there before school.

It was a losing battle they were fighting, Killian was sure of it – nothing in Storybrooke ever led to winning for anyone who wasn’t Regina Mills. But one look at Emma and all he wanted to do was keep fighting, keep trying, keep hoping that one day their world would be full of happy endings again.

Someday.

#cs ff #cs secret santa #keisha writes #this is a gift

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snowbellewells · 5 years ago

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CS Fic Rec Monday: Holiday Edition :)

I’m sorry to be later in the day than usual with posting this, but I couldn’t let this Monday escape me without posting some holiday season fics that I love! Guaranteed to give you all the warm and fuzzy, happily ever after feels (much like a Hallmark movie, only probably better written and starring our Savior and our Captain! <3) Hope you will enjoy...and maybe find something you haven’t read before...

“Cold Winter’s Light” by: @whimsicallyenchantedrose

I thought of this one shot and wanting to re-read it first thing this morning when I learned my school was on a 2-hour delay. Originally written for a CS Secret Santa gift, Jennifer gives us all the CS family holiday fluff and domestic adorableness we didn’t get to see in canon, with a perfect helping of the rest of the extended family and Storybrooke gang mixed in as well. Not to mention that there’s a lovely surprise as well. :)

“A Pirate’s Christmas Carol” by: @whimsicallyenchantedrose

I had forgotten about this two part fic until I went looking for the other, saw it in Jennifer’s stories and remembered how much I loved this one as well. This one is a little more “feelsy” but it still has a lovely and meaning happy ending. You definitely should check it out if you haven’t read it.

“Home for Christmas” by: @startswithhope

This is a short MC which starts of showing Emma and Killian as best friends, and her standing by him as his father and half brother come back into his life. It’s really lovely, both seeing Killian regain some of his family (not without bumps in the road, but still) and also seeing CS go from friendship to coupledom in a completely different way than on the show, but which feels very much in character!

“Christmas in Storybrooke” by: @searchingwardrobes

This short MC is unique in that it is really a grown up Henry Mills who is the main character and it’s just such a different and very heartfelt and modern AU. There are still tons of lovely married CS moments, as well as fun cameos by Henry’s younger siblings and many of the SB folk, as well as Henry’s future True Love. It’s SO wonderful!!! If you missed it last year when Melanie wrote it, now is your chance to experience it for yourself! :0

“Underneath the Tree” by: @searchingwardrobes

Oh my goodness, this one shot! It could be a little Hallmark movie (and boy do I wish it was - starring Jennifer Morrison and Colin O’Donoghue, of course!) I love the whole concept of getting Emma a real tree for the first time. How they come together throughout the stories. It just warms my heart so perfectly! I believe this was for last year’s CSSS event, but I am willing to be you’ll love it this year just as much!

***And, for an added bonus, if you’re in the mood for something a bit more steamy... “Hot Toddy” by: @startswithhope

and “Decking the Halls and Slippery Falls” by: @hollyethecurious

#csfrm #cs fic rec monday #holiday edition #cs fluff #cs family feels #cs fics #cs oneshots #cs mcs #many talented shipmates

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kktabjones · 5 years ago

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CS Fic Rec Monday (holiday edition)

Merry not Christmas by Oubliette

Killian Jones has spent the last five years avoiding everything to do with Christmas; a veritable Grinch. Though perhaps Ebenezer Scrooge is more fitting; he's not out to ruin Christmas, he simply prefers to pretend that it doesn't exist. So what happens when he takes a tumble on the mountainside and is stuck for the holiday, cooped up in a small cabin with his saviour, Emma Swan?

I just finished my annual re-read and this one is as good as ever. Get into the holiday spirit - grab a hot cocoa (with cinnamon) and read it today!

#CS fic rec monday #CS fic rec #CS ff rec #CS ff #Captain Swan

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callunavulgari · 5 years ago

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Scrapbook 2020 | Pt. I

Reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read seventy-five books, finish five video games, write something novel-length and write something original. These last two goals CAN be combined. So you know, nearly the exact same goals from last year.

MOVIES

January

My Neighbor Totoro

(Matilda)

(The Mummy)

The Pacifier

(Moana)

Lion King (2019)

February

Hereditary

(The Lion King 2)

Kiki’s Delivery Service

March

(Tangled)

(Zootopia)

(Lilo and Stitch)

(The Swan Princess)

(The Swan Princess: Secret of the Castle)

(The Swan Princess: The Mystery of the Enchanted Kingdom)

April

Onward

(Your Name)

(Frozen 2)

Happy Death Day

Promare

May

(Free Willy)

(Star Wars: The Last Skywalker)

(Free Willy 2)

(The Road to El Dorado)

(Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron)

(Prince of Egypt)

BOOKS

January

The Secret Commonwealth | Philip Pullman [Fin]

The Great Hunt | Robert Jordan [Fin]

Wanderers | Chuck Wendig

The Dragon Republic | R.F. Kuang

February

Wanderers | Chuck Wendig [Fin]

The Dragon Republic | R.F. Kuang [Fin]

Runebinder | Alex Kahler [Fin]

The Book of M | Peng Shepherd [Fin]

Call Down the Hawk | Maggie Stiefvater [Fin]

(The Diviners | Libba Bray) [Fin]

(Lair of Dreams | Libba Bray) [Fin]

(Before the Devil Breaks You | Libba Bray) [Fin]

King of Crows | Libba Bray [Fin]

Gods of Jade and Shadow | Silvia Moreno-Garcia [Fin]

The City of Brass | S.A. Chakraborty

March

The City of Brass | S.A. Chakraborty [Fin]

Legion | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

Taproot | Keezy Young [Fin]

Mooncakes | Suzanna Walker, Wendy Xu [Fin]

Loki: the God Who Fell to Earth | Daniel Kibblesmith [Fin]

The Lost Future of Pepperharrow | Natasha Pulley [Fin]

The Hazel Wood | Melissa Albert [Fin]

The Black Tides of Heaven | J.Y. Yang [Fin]

Gideon the Ninth | Tamsyn Muir** [Fin]

Loki: Where Mischief Lies | Mackenzie Lee [Fin]

American Royals | Katharine McGee [Fin]

River of Teeth | Sarah Gailey [Fin]

We Are Okay | Nina LaCour [Fin]

Where the Crawdads Sing | Delia Owens [Fin]

A Memory Called Empire | Arkady Martine [Fin]

April

The Dream Peddler | Martine Fournier Watson [Fin]

The Dragon Reborn | Robert Jordan [Fin]

The Glass Hotel | Emily St John Mandel [Fin]

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous | Ocean Vuong [Fin]

The Unhoneymooners | Christina Lauren [Fin]

(Captive Prince 1 | C.S.Pacat) [Fin]

(Captive Prince 2 | CS Pacat) [Fin]

(Captive Prince 3 | CS Pacat) [Fin]

The Flatshare | Bath O’Leary [Fin]

A Study in Brimstone | G.S. Denning [Fin]

May

Sky In the Deep | Adrienne Young [Fin]

House of Salt and Sorrows | Erin Craig [Fin]

The Sparrow | Mary Russell [Fin]

Here and Now and Then | Mike Chen [Fin]

Burn for Me | Ilona Andrews [Fin]

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms | N.K. Jemisin [Fin]

Mister Monday | Garth Nix

PODCASTS

January

King Falls AM, Eps 35-75

February

King Falls AM, Eps Live Special-84

The Penumbra Podcast | Juno Steel and the Tools of Rust

(Zero Hours - Ep 7)

March

King Falls AM, Eps 84-100

April

(The Magnus Archive, s1)

The Magnus Archive, s5

Welcome to Night Vale

The Bridge

The Adventure Zone

May

The Magnus Archive, s5

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

January

The Great British Baking Show, s7, s6

Lost In Space, s2

The Magicians, s3, s4

The Untamed

February

The Untamed**

The Terror, s2

March

Guardian

Haikyuu

Westworld, s3

April

The Great British Baking Show, s6

Westworld, s3

Jeopardy

The Guardian

May

Motherland: Fort Salem

(Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural

Buzzfeed Unsolved: True Crime

Watcher Entertainment

She-Ra, s5**

The Guardian

(Avatar: The Last Airbender)

VIDEO GAMES

January

Pokemon: Shield (30 hrs) [Fin]

Monster Hunter World: Iceborne (10 hrs)

February

Monster Hunter World: Iceborne (30 hrs)

Transistor [Fin]

Plague Tales: Innocence (15 hrs)

Civ VI (France- FIN, Victory)

Assassin’s Creed: Origins (20 hrs)

March

Kingdom Hearts 3

Luigi’s Mansion [Fin]

(LoZ: Breath of the Wild)

April

(LoZ: Breath of the Wild)

The Outer Worlds

Oxenfree

May

Final Fantasy 7 Remake

Shadow of the Colossus

DELIGHTFUL FIC

January

A Miracle in Thunder by LazyBaker | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 4.5k | Christmas morning, Steve’s pulling into a nearly empty parking lot to open Family Video on his own.

The White Wolf by norgbelulah | Castlevania | Alucard/Trevor/Sypha | 6k | Trevor and Sypha travel back to the Belmont Estate and Castle Dracula, unsure of what they will find there.

Stainless by Fahye | The Untamed | Lan Zhan/Wei Wuxian | 6.5k | "I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion."

sleep in your bed by copperwings | The Untamed | Lan Zhan/Wei Wuxian | 12k | or; Wei WuXian has a tendency to fall asleep in places where he shouldn't. Lan WangJi disapproves.

by the grace of a ride along by brawlite | The Witcher | Geralt/Jaskier | 5k | They shouldn't so often find themselves in situations like this. And yet.

this line bisects by adspexi | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 1k | The rumors around Costis' status as a royal favorite haven't quieted down. The king doesn't seem to mind.

Be kind by longnationalnightmare | The Magicians | Quentin/Eliot | 10k | It was absurd how much Eliot meant it— you’re cute—so cute Eliot wanted to swallow him whole.

Reclaimed by betts | Star Wars | Reylo | 14k | Or: After the passing of new legislation, Rey and thousands of other omegas are rescued from the abusive grasps of their alphas. She gets adopted by a new alpha and braces herself for the cruelty she’s grown used to. But Ben isn’t like other alphas, and Rey slowly warms to his kindness.

Make a list of things you need by longnationalnightmare | The Magicians | Quentin/Eliot | 10k | “Whose wedding?” he asked, and only stopped assessing the room when Eliot failed to answer. “El, who’s getting married?”

seldom all they seem by Fahye | The Untamed | Lan Zhan/Wei Wuxian | 24k | or, one hundred and thirty-three principles of the Gusu Lan, pertaining to the state of marriage

love is touching souls (surely you touched mine) by ToAStranger | Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | 34k | Voldemort is dead. It's Christmas, and Harry's just opened a gift from Fred and George Weasley.

back to back by serenfire | The Witcher | Geralt/Jaskier | 13k | (Or: If Yennefer gets to be improbably naked in canon, then I am making Jaskier equally, if not more, naked. It's equality.)

You're a Story (I Can Follow) by Page161of180 | The Magicians | Queliot | 20k | The Monster's been defeated, Quentin is dead, and Eliot has a quest of his own--if he can trust himself to complete it. An Orpheus and Eurydice remix.

Lover's Touch by Rizandace | The Magicians | Queliot | 25k | Q gets cursed, and Alice can't help. Magic forces Q and Eliot to cuddle and talk about their feelings.

Possession by yaskween | The Magicians | Queliot | 9k | “Honestly? I don’t mean to be rude,” Eliot started, having trouble meeting Quentin’s eyes again. “But I don’t think I can handle being this close to you right now.”

You In My Head by stele3 | The Magicians | Queliot | 5k | Apparently, the Monster hadn’t cared much about hydration. Eliot hasn’t been this parched since Ibiza 2012.

fall through by sarcasticfishes | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Shane/Ryan/Sara | 8k | “Sorry man, our flights are grounded because of some freak storm. Waiting to see if we can get one out tomorrow,” Shane reads aloud, and Sara pouts down at the screen.

with them indiana boys (on them indiana nights) by ToAStranger | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 5k | The thing is, when Billy first saw Steve Harrington, he knew.

The Genius of the Western River by Siria | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Shane/Ryan | 14k | Shane’s totally working on being flippant about all those times he joked about Ryan’s godlike physique, never suspecting how true those jokes might be—the two of them just have to defeat a supernatural serial killer first.

I was born to blanket you in flowers by MyFandomCausesHanaji | The Untamed | Wei Wuxan/Lan Zhan | 5k | “I have folded a thousand paper flowers for you.”

A Temporary Favor by oxymoronic | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 30k | It’s barely three days since El closed the gate when Hopper tells him he wants to rip a hole in space and time to rescue Billy Hargrove. Steve thinks it’s the dumbest thing he’s ever heard.

February

it’s a long way forward (so trust in me) by suzukiblu | The Witcher | Geralt/Jaskier | 25k | “Does that stop heat?” Jaskier asks curiously, absentmindedly tuning his lute as he speaks. He hadn’t thought anything could, but, well . . . witchers and their potions.

Love as You Are by thisgirlsays22 | The Witcher | Geralt/Jaskier | 16k | Jaskier didn’t want to marry just any noblewoman--no matter how comely she may be--he wanted adventure and many loves, but most importantly his biggest, greatest love of all.

GERALT'S A SOFT BOI send tweet by relenafanel | The Witcher | Geralt/Jaskier | 2k | WIP | “Hey, so this is where you ended up,” Jaskier said, sliding into the chair across from Geralt in the sad truck-stop diner 50 kilometres outside of the backwater swamp-dump reporting an infestation of drowners.

The Rule Of Opposites by entanglednow | Good Omens | Aziraphale/Crowley | 6k | In which they are opposing forces, not designed to touch, anathema to each other. Crowley refuses to accept it.

have you noticed I’ve been gone? by suzukiblu | The Witcher | Geralt/Jaskier | 12k | Jaskier is a very good kisser, and almost kisses Geralt often enough, which is a damn sight closer than most people get. Even when he’s paying for it, he doesn’t get kissed enough. Jaskier gets close, though.

Chattoter Trending by DragonBandit | Pokemon | Leon/Raihan | 2.5k | Neither Raihan or Leon have told the greater public about their relationship. Then Raihan posts the wrong picture to Chattoter.

from me to you by Ceta | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Zhan | 14k | Wei Too Cool ✓ @wei-wuxian correct me if i’m wrong but i’m pretty sure that’s a love song @LanWangJi #AtFirstSight

Do it Again by thisgirlsays22 | The Witcher | Geralt/Jaskier | 7k | By the twentieth time Geralt has gone through the loop, he decides to just throw himself off the cliff’s edge after Borch.

March

The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Zhan | 20k | “Love?” he croaks, then clears his throat and tries again. “Lan Zh— uh, Hanguang-jun, in love?”

bend all the rules by brawlite | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 14k | Billy knows that it’s a bad idea to hook up with his old high school rival and certified Straight Guy™, Steve Harrington -- but Hawkins is real bleak during the holidays, and Billy’s just trying to make it through winter break without dying of boredom.

April

Probability Engine by @kaikamahine | The Watchmaker of Filigree Street | Keita/Thaniel | 22k | The worst part about knowing you will have to shove Merrick Tremayne into the path of an oncoming cannonball is that you genuinely enjoy the man's company. Unfortunately, this becomes something of a recurring theme.

rare the man who'll hold to faith by Fahye | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Zhan | 13k | "There is the mark of our bargain, and here is the challenge," said the Yiling Patriarch.

a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Zhan | 180k | When the entire cultivation world turns against Wei WuXian, Jiang Cheng comes up with a plan to save him and arranges a marriage between his brother and the Second Jade of Lan, Lan WangJi.

a prize for rotten judgement by sarcasticfishes | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 10k | “You’d drive each other crazy. You sit together at your office all day, and then you’d be commuting home together, eating dinner together, watching TV together, going to bed — well, not together, but you get it, right?”

Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Zhan | 39k | "Tell Lan Zhan that I'm weeping uncontrollably," Wei Wuxian says to the juniors. "Tell him I'm truly pitiful and he needs to do everything I say until I'm well again."

Every ridge hand-picked by the late sun’s slant light by wildestranger | The Guardian | Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan | 7k | “Long time, no see,” he says.The Black Cloaked Envoy blanches.

If Life Was A Movie We’d Have A Better Soundtrack Than This by galaxysoup | The Guardian | Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan | 46k | The first time Shen Wei meets Zhao Yunlan is when he innocently steps out of his Monday morning office hours and is immediately slammed into by 180 pounds of cop pursuing a suspect on foot.

Sex, Science, and True Love: A Rigid Analysis of the Practical Applications of Dual Cultivation by aubreyli | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Zhan | 24k | WIP | “The Lans are far too boring and repressed for something like this,” Wei Wuxian said, with the authority of one who had been resoundingly ignored by a Lan for the past month. “Can you imagine Lan Wangji dual cultivating?”

and so my heart beats wildly by lily_winterwood | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Zhan | 106k | “You know, you’re the one to beat this year,” Jiang Cheng offers helpfully, having seen the glare from right next to him. “Hanguang-jun’s been through juniors with the rest of us, he knows all of our tics. You’re an unknown variable, since he’s never competed against you before.”

Weird and/or Wonderful by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Shane/Ryan | 12k | Or: During the filming of an episode of Weird and/or Wonderful World, Ryan tosses a shoelace and a wish in an ancient magical wishing well. Mistakes are made.

one good thing by Yuu_chi | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Zhan | 26k | Wei Wuxian has been haunting his childhood home for three years. He's perfected the fine art of scaring away all the tenants, and has grown used to living with the dying flowers in the garden as his only company.

stay with me, go places by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Shane/Ryan | 16k | “Never have I ever,” Shane says, feeling his way delicately around the syllables, making nice with all the consonants and vowels, “hooked up with a friend at a wedding.”

once more with feeling by sarsaparillia | Oxenfree | Alex/Jonas | 26k | Alex, stumbling through the time-stream.

hey boy, take a look at me by weakspots | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 17k | Ryan is 27, for Christ’s sake, and he’s not exactly hideous, so there’s really no reason to spend his money on a dude — a dude — whose face he’ll never see but whose livestreams he’s been jerking off to for roughly 4 months now.

Warm Blanket by surveycorpsjean | Promare | Lio/Galo | 19k | He wonders if Lio remembers.

spend some time with me (i really like your company) by fencer_x | Promare | Galo/Lio | 73k | Galo Thymos is the worst hostage ever, and Lio regrets kidnapping him with every waking breath.

times that are broken can often be one again by sarcasticfishes | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | The moment the lights come on, Shane senses that something is wrong.

my age has never made me wise by idrilka | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Zhan | 63k | “We hear that His Excellency might be married by summer’s end,” the merchant’s wife says and Wei Wuxian freezes, his heart in his throat. “The Gusu Lan sect has been buying enough red silk and brocade that the merchants in Caiyi can’t satisfy the demand.”

May

The Shops on Morning Street by mikkimouse | Castlevania | Alucard/Trevor | 7k | Trevor Belmont, former monster hunter and current florist, is tasked with looking into the proprietor of the new tattoo parlor across the street, much to his annoyance.

Sarva by rageprufrock | Guardian | Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan | 5k | Or, 一切. At work, in public, Shen Wei is meticulously, seamlessly polite. In bed, he's something else.

Heartbeat by quackers | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 66k | So the guy Ryan sits next to at work is a vampire. That's no big deal, right?

Soup-pocalypse and The Great Curry Cataclysm by SquadOfCats | Harry Potter | Draco/Harry | 104k | Eleven years after the war, Draco Malfoy leads a quiet, boring, and perfectly respectable life, thanks very much. Or, at least he does, until a sudden and very unexpected veela awakening causes him to throw soup all over Harry Potter in the middle of the Ministry cafeteria.

until you fit beneath me (and you’re breaking like a wave) by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | In which Shane Madej succumbs to the mortifying ordeal of being known—but not before being a real butthead about it for many thousands of words first.

there is no such thing by gh0stly | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 10k | A simple investigation turns serious as Ryan suspects the black dog of Hawthorn road isn't the only demonic entity to have followed him home.

oracle bones by orphan_account | Avatar: TLA | Zuko/Katara | 3k | The foreign, pictorial characters that bracelet Zuko's left wrist have never been covered in any of his lessons. He cannot read them.

Third Time's A Charm by quackers | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 31k | Shane can't help but fall for the hot young lifeguard that stars in his Baywatch inspired daydreams, but he has a secret that no one can know. Not even Ryan.

Milk and Honey by quackers | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 18k | Sure, the fae were real. Everyone knew that.Ryan being fae? As likely as ghosts existing.

Technically-Terrestrial by quackers | Buzzfeed Unsolved | 60k | Nearly forty years ago, the disgraced group of an alien race found refuge amongst the population of Earth.And now Shane Madej, who is more-or-less human, kind-of-actually-an-alien, has to convince his terrified best friend Ryan that he's not about to abduct him.

play me like a love song by sky_somedays | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 10k | Shane is Ryan's beleaguered history TA. Ryan won't stop suggesting insane theories.

one word from you by mme_anxious | The Untamed | Lan Zhan/Wei Wuxian | 5k | Wei Wuxian manages to get himself cursed and Lan Wangji just wants to be helpful.

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

January

A Tribute to 2019 Cinema

Geralt & Yennefer | Wicked Game

chaos | Yennefer of Vengerberg

Yennefer of Vengerberg || SURVIVOR

The Multifandom Mashup 2019

Multifandom Mashup 2019

Natural ][ Multifandom

Yennefer Of Vengerberg | Here I Am

destiny [The Witcher]

star wars || war pigs

THE WITCHER || IN THE END [Happy New Year!]

Sucker [Jaskier & Geralt / Humor]

The Witcher || War Pigs

Lee Scoresby ][ Rebel Just For Kicks || HDM

Jaskier & Geralt || Hold on

February

The Art of Cinema

Jaskier & Geralt || Hold on

Jaskier || Oh No!

The Witcher || River

Geralt Of Rivia || Old Town Road

Multifandom | Glitter & Gold

Everybody knows | Multifandom

Merlin | Survivor

March

xue yang & xiao xingchen (the untamed MV) | hold on

Wei Wuxian | The Yiling Patriarch

The Untamed | Devil from Heaven

陈情令-The Untamed (2019) | but I'm only human | Yiling Patriarch

wei wu xian & lan wang ji (the untamed MV) | they don't know about us

Wangxian || Us Against the World (The Untamed)

Wei Wu Xian & Lan Wang Ji | A Thousand Years (The Untamed FMV)

hannibal || the way you are

Wei Wuxian & Lan Wangji | Bury our Love《陈情令 The Untamed》

The Untamed FMV | Wei Wuxian & Lan Wangji | 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓁𝓎

The Untamed MV - Rule the World

𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘺 || wei wu xian 陈情令

陈情令 | The Untamed - I Will Carry You

wei wu xian & lan wang ji (the untamed MV) | beautiful mess

The Witcher | Geralt Of Rivia

Kylo Ren & Rey | I Know You

Miles Morales | Whatever It Takes

EGO - Wei Wuxian

Wei Wuxian | Rebel Just For Kicks

Geralt of Rivia // Glitter and Gold

Glitter & Gold ][ TUA

Eliot Waugh - Let It Happen

Jaskier ❤️️ Everybody Loves Me

April

DJ Earworm - YouTube Sings Dance Monkey (100 COVERS)

Khan ][ Believer

Roman Sionis | Black Mask ][ Bad Guy

(Star Wars) Kylo Ren | Redemption

(The Witcher) Geralt of Rivia | The White Wolf

Sirius & Regulus | Black Flies

The Marauders | HOME

(Marvel) Thor | The New Path

(Marvel) Tony Stark | My Legacy

A Song of Ice & Fire

(GoT) Daenerys Targaryen | My Reign is Over

Harley Quinn ][ Feeling Good

Multifandom II You'll Always Be A Monster

Haru & Rin || Deep Blue

Star Wars - Anime Opening 1 (A New Hope Arc)

It's hard

Severus Snape

Marvel || BLUE MONDAY

never surrender

May

[AMV] In The Name of Love [Yuri!!! on ICE]

Catra & Adora | I love you, I always have (+S5)

Sherlock ][ Bohemian Rhapsody

(Marvel) Avengers | Catastrophe

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

January

There She Goes - Sixpence None the Richer

Don’t You Forget About Me - Simple Minds

Devil Side - Foxes

Medhel an Gwyns - Anna Dudley

A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square - Tori Amos

Toss A Coin to Your Witcher - Witcher OST

Smile For the Camera - UPSAHL

Fail We Must Sail We Must - Unloved

It’s Not You, It’s Me -Unloved

Bill - Unloved

Cry Baby Cry - Unloved

Sigh - Unloved

Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer

My Dear - The Castros

Us - Regina Spektor

Houses - Great Northern

Beautiful Dreamer - The Magicians Cast

Graveyard - Halsey

Imperfections - Celine Dion

Premonitions - Vaults

Jagwar - Shells

Nice To Meet You - Niall Horan

Handsome and Wealthy - Migos

Thunder - Shaed

6 Underground - The Sneaker Pimps

February

Land of Yesterday - Anastasia Original Broadway Cast

You’re Somebody Else - Flora Cash

Masterpiece - Vargas & Lagola

Everybody Knows - Sigrid

Fly Me to the Moon - Frank Sinatra

Cringe - Stripped - Matt Maeson

Black Out Days - Phantogram

You Don’t Get Me High Anymore - Wakey!Wakey!

Pep Talk - Judah & the Lion

Ag Bruach Dhun Reimhe - Eithne Ni Uallachan

Grave Digger - Matt Maeson

Hidden Lakes - Shearwater

Maker - Anjimile

The Untamed sountracks - vocal and instrumental

Cut My Lip - 21 Pilots

Cancer - 21 Pilots

Strawberry Fields - The Beatles

March

Infinity - Jaymes Young

Chadelier - Sia

No Time to Die - Billie Eilish

South of the Border - Camila Cabello & Cardi B

Moondust - Jaymes Young

April

2020 playlist

May

2020 playlist

POSTED FIC

January

a different kind of danger in the daylight | Shades of Magic | Kell/Lila/Holland | 6,930 words | Sleeping with Holland was never part of the plan.

February

love will have it's sacrifices | Teen Wolf | Sterek | 7,719 words | “So,” Allison starts, biting her lip. “You’re telling me that you think your roommate is a werewolf.”

March

Teeth | The Witcher | Jaskier/Geralt | 2,368 words | “You wrote a song about my teeth,” Geralt says.

April

Lithium | Kingdom Hearts | Axel/Roxas | 378 words | The grass is cool and faintly damp, still springy under your palms.

the thrill of knowing how alone we are | Stargate Atlantis | Rodney/John | 1,077 words | “Right now, I really don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off the damn bridge.”Rodney, who is, in fact, on a bridge right now, has never had the best sense of self preservation, because he snaps right back, “Oh good, can I pick?”

i hope you lose your way | Kingdom Hearts | Sora/Riku | 1,725 words | The last summer that he and Sora were together, truly together, before the inexplicable pull of adulthood drew them further and further apart until that thread finally snapped, they went on a road trip.

ephemeral | The Untamed | Lan Zhan/Wei Wuxian | 2,353 words | “Composing is what suits me now,” Lan Wangji says, his voice like a shrug. “In a year, it may be dancing.”

May

fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 4,108 words | As Steve watches, the man arches one of those eyebrows and asks, “Are you trying to get eaten by a shark?”

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

January

N/A

February

N/A

March

N/A

April

The Untamed, ephemeral, 2148 words

May

Untitled Mermay Fic | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 3.367 words

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

January

All the 8tracks imports

February

N/A

March

N/A

April

N/A

May

Writing Playlist

#heather says what #heather writes #scrapbook #2020

2 notes · View notes

thistle-and-thorn · 2 years ago

Note

Hey,

So 2. 11. 17.

And some vicarious tipsiness please, I’m in bed unwell and I’ve missed tipsiness and various other things due to it. ♥️♥️♥️

Ahhh I’m very sorry that you’re ill!!! Feel better!

2. Did you reread anything? What?

I honestly am doing my first re-read of the year right now!! I’m re reading A Wrinkle in Time and adoring every single word of it, just as much as I did the first time I read it. Oh! And The Christmas Carol!

11. What was your favorite book that has been out for a while, but you just now read?

Oh!! I read White Nights and Notes from the Underground by Fyodor Dostoyevsky and LOVED THEM BOTH. New favorite writer!!

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

I read CS Lewis’ The Great Divorce and I felt very lukewarm towards it immediately after reading it. Like I enjoyed it but I wasn’t immediately moved by it the way I was after I read Till We Have Faces or A Grief Observed. But in the subsequent months, I feel like it’s a text I keep coming back to? I keep referencing it and thinking about it. So, this one snuck up on me a bit!

What about you? How was your reading year?

#asks

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onceuponaprincessworld · 7 years ago

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CaptainSwan One-Shots Recs p.15

Hello CS Fandom. After the news about the returning cast for the ouat finale I thought to celebrate by making a new list. So, here you have my new rec list of one-shots, they are all a delight to read and re-read. Hope you enjoy! 💗 💗

If you are intrested you can find my other lists here.

Baskets and Bouquets, @best-left-hook-jones

There are a few things that Emma Swan is absolutely certain about; no morning is tolerable without at least one cup of coffee, all marriage is a sham, and if a stupidly handsome guy walks into her tiny flower shop with a massive order for flower arrangements six weeks before a wedding, he’s damn well going to have to help her. Flowershop!AU

Spring in the Valley of Death, @the-reason-to-sail-home

Queen Emma of the Underworld enlists the help of a magical healer when her son falls deathly ill. Killian Jones, one of the best healers alive, is Emma's last hope. But with so many people who need him, he can't stay down in the Underworld forever. With the help of a few pomegranate seeds, he may not have a choice.

Sharp Corners and Crisp Folds, @welllpthisishappening

It’s going to take hours. Days. The rest of her goddamn life. Probably not. That last one is a bit dramatic.

But, honestly, it’s going to take a ton of time to refold all those shirts and this guy just keeps wandering around the store with, seemingly, no purpose and Emma has no customer service skills at all. Mary Margaret would know what to do. Mary Margaret is not there.

It’s just Emma and the t-shirt destroyer. And his goddamn, stupid leather jacket.

Ocean Blue, @wellhellotragic

There were three things certain in Killian Jones's life.

1) His brother was his idol. 2) He was helplessly in love with Emma Swan. 3) She absolutely didn't love him back.

She'd made that clear five years ago when he left Boston. So when he was forced to return to Boston once more, a city he swore he'd never return to, Killian had never expected to see Emma Swan again, much less at Liam's funeral

Losing his only brother was devastating. Learning what he had done was wo

the accident, @rouhn

Emma is a doctor and Killian rush his niece/nephew to the hospital because of some accident and he is blaming himself because that happened while he was babysitting. Maybe kind of angsty, with worried Killian?“

be patient..., @startswithhope

Honestly, this is just an excuse to write kissing...and making out. It's set in some vague Modern AU, but has the feel of the end of S3 character dynamic between K&E.

Prompt, @xemmaloveskillianx

Killian and Emma sheriffing in Storybrooke is beautiful.

So NOT Pregnant, @hookedonapirate

Emma didn’t believe them when they told her she was pregnant.

The Recipe, @emmakillianfan

Chefs Emma Swan and Killian Jones both have their reasons to compete in the Culinary Championships for a large cash prize. But when they are paired as a team, they must learn to work together or it could all go up in flames. Part of the Captain Swan Little Bang 2018!

Transatlanticism, @mahstatins

Emma Swan went to Britain looking for family. It should have been a Hallmark movie, a Christmas miracle waiting to happen. Instead she’s stuck in a grimy London ‘flat’, with the worst next door neighbor in the world.

Well, maybe not the worst.

The Writing's On The Wall, @idristardis

Normally quiet and sleepy, Storybrooke, Maine has been going through the polar opposite of a crime wave. There hasn’t been even so much as an incident of shoplifting in MONTHS. Until the day an anonymous graffiti artist starts leaving murals and street art all over prominent town buildings. Who’s behind it? Why don’t the townspeople want to press charges if/when the “vandal” is caught? And what does all of this have to do with Sheriff Emma Swan and local bakery owner Killian Jones?

The tree, @flipperbrain

A tree falls in the backyard. There’s clean up and sore muscles, with feelings and a little sex to attend to.

THE GALLERY OF LOST PORTRAITS, @lenfaz

Dancing With Our Hands Tied, cocoa-and-rum

Killian Jones and Emma Swan are two police officers who see the world in black and white. When she is transferred from Storybrooke, Maine to precinct 99 of the NYPD in Brooklyn, they don't expect to be partnered to take down the infamous Teach. They also don't expect to see color the day she arrives. [A CS B99/Soulmates AU]

Only One Way This Could Go, wingedlioness

from the prompt by loving-cs-fanfiction on tumblr: I need a fic where Emma and Killian are soul mates and everyone knows (because their soul mate identifying symbols are like super visual), but they act like rivals and say they “don’t want to be forced together”, but are actually secretly dating after a drunk hook up.

Everything Comes Back to You, @once-uponacaptain

Ready for a change in their lives, Emma and Henry move from New York to her hometown of Storybrooke. But she gets a bigger change than she bargained for when Henry's new teacher is the ex-boyfriend she hasn't seen since college … who is also Henry's dad, and doesn't know he has a son. Written as part of the Captain Swan Little Bang

kiss me (on this cold december night), @jennifer-morrison

Maybe asking your best friend to pretend to be your boyfriend as you make a trip back home isn’t the smartest idea Emma’s had in a while. then again, how smart is Killian for actually saying yes?

It Was Always You, @distant-rose

Four words completely change Emma Swan’s frienship with her favorite police detective Killian Jones when she drops off one of her skips on Valentine’s Day.

write you a love song, emmaofmisthaven

When she gets out of the dressing room, Killian’s phone is nowhere to be found as her manager leads against the opposite wall, arms folded on his chest. He looks like a rock star himself, more often than not, with his dark clothes and handsome face. Not for the first time, Emma wonders how such a man settled on a backstage career when it is damn obvious he would thrive under the public gaze. Not that she would have it any other way. He’s too good a manager for that.

#cs ff #cs rec ff #cs fic rec #cs ff rec #cs fic #cs fanfiction #cs fanfics #cs rec fic #cs rec ff #cs rec list #my rec list

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artistic-writer · 7 years ago

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Between Now and Nether :: Epilogue :: A CS AU [complete]

Title: Between Now and Nether by @artistic-writer [full res fanart]

Summary: On their way to a Nolan Charity Gala, tragedy befalls Emma and Killian who is given just seven days to set things right. Can he make Emma believe and escape the Nether before he is lost forever?

Rating: T+/M

AO3 Chapters: [1] - [2] - [3] - [4] - [5] - [6] - [7] - [8] - [9] - [10] - [11] - [12] -[13] - [14] - [15] - [16] - [17] - [Epilogue] Fanart Full Resolution: [1] - [2] - [3] - [4] - [5] - [6] - [7] - [8] - [9] - [10] - [11] - [12] - [13] - [14] - [15]- [16] - [17] - [Epilogue]

A/N: Here lies the final chapter of Between Now and Nether! I am actually crying as i post this, but that might be the hair dye (bye bye blue hair!). The journey with this fic as one of my only completed CS MC’s has been a fun one, with some many of you sending me comments of loveliness (and some not so much #sorrynotsorry). Behold - daddy!killian feels!

I would like to AGAIN thank @kmomof4 for betaing this entire project like a boss - mama K, I love you so much and at points, I have been glad for the ocean between us. Not that i feared for my life or anything ;) If any of you want, Krystal has this ability to describe a chapter in a single gif, so go ask her opinion before you read it :)

@hollyethecurious my wonderful friend, fellow January baby and kindred spirit when it comes to angst, whump and generally putting our beloved OTP through the ringer before their HE, I thank you. If it wasn’t for your muse and my muse sunning it up in far-off lands without us, this would have probably been finished before Christmas, but for all the time i faltered on details and needed a guiding opnion, you were there. You are my person and i would not hesitate to hide the bodies for you ;)

@resident-of-storybrooke thankyou for letting me watch you read a chapter live over webcam, even if you did tell me to ‘fuck myself’. I consider that kind of reaction a win win as an author, so yay! Here’s to fucking myself! *raises drink* And see, I told you, happy ending ;)

If you have requested a tag and have continued with this story, your name should be below - if it is not I am a terrible person and all i can do is apologise for losing you in the rabble, but know you are no less loved for seeing this through to the end! I read a post not that long ago, about fandom stats regarding people who read fics vs people who leave kudos and comments according to the target audience of the market at the time. In advertising, i believe the target is a 2% return in acknowledgment and you guys have made BNAN smash that, which a 4.8% return in views vs kudos! So, thank you all so much, i love you all!

Taglist: @mariakov81 @rouhn @hollyethecurious @kmomof4 @resident-of-storybrooke@hookedonapirate @galadriel26 @aye-captn @the-captains-ayebrows@yayimallamaagain @i-nvr-wrote-it @officerrogerss@kiwistreetswan@wellhellotragic@depechemode75 @distant-rose @yrellow-bugs-and-pirate-ships @courtorderedcake @wellhellotragic @followbatb

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There was a time, when he had felt the warmth leave his body and had been trapped in the Nether, that Killian Jones had feared he might never see the moment Emma Swan had made him the happiest man in the world. When she had agreed to marry him, none the wiser for his recent week long absence and struggle to get back to her, he was overcome with tears of joy that had burned lines so deep into his face that he thought he might still feel them.

Emma had looked beautiful. Her dress, tailored by the famous seamstress Belle French, was a marvel, elegant enough to be refined by itself and not take a single glimpse of the bride’s beauty away from the awe inspired crowd. The gathering was small, with just them, the Nolan’s and some other close family friends, and Killian will never forget the look of surprise on Graham Humbert’s face when he asked him to be his best man. With a puzzled expression but a smile of pride Graham had accepted, none the wiser why Killian had even asked him.

How could he have not? If it hadn’t been for him, Killian might never have made it back to his family and for that, he would be forever, albeit secretively, grateful.

“Don’t worry,” Graham laughed, watching Killian pace the hospital hallway. The thick tread of his work boots squeaked against the polished tiled floor as he paced, his hand brushing some wayward strands of hair from his forehead.

“They said it would be soon,” Killian huffed, feeling himself halt when Graham laid his hand on his shoulder.

“These things take time,” Graham smiled, offering his friend a reassuring nod.

Killian's hands shook as he patted Graham’s with his own, mirroring his small, tight lipped smile with his weaker one. Graham has been more of a friend than Killian could have ever imagined since the academy days. Once Emma had taken her maternity leave, the rookie had been assigned to his charge, Graham’s gusto and resilience in the face of the Gold case not going unnoticed by the commissioner.

He trusted him with his life as a colleague, partner and more importantly a friend. It meant a lot that he was the voice of reason right now as Kilian was slowly wearing a track into the floor of the off white, fluorescently lit corridor. It had been his makeshift home for the last six hours, the steady buzz of overhead lighting and the mechanical beep of machines his only company when after thirty six hours of active labor, Emma had passed out and been rushed to surgery.

“It won’t be long, I promise,” Graham offered again. Killian let his weight fall back against the wall, the paintwork scuffed across the white at waist height from the inevitable collision with hospital equipment.

“It’s been over three hours since our last update,” Killian barked angrily.

“She’s strong,” Graham said firmly, his own voice quivering a little in his throat.

“She’s the strongest person we know,” Killian mumbled sadly, sliding down the wall until he was crumbled on the floor, head hanging between his knees. Killian felt Graham’s hand on the back of his head but he did not look up.

“Mr. Jones?” A small voice called from the nearby room he had recently been evicted from. The woman was small and much older than him and he instantly recognised her as Emma’s midwife.

“Emma?” He scrambled to his feet, clawing at Graham’s arms as he pulled his friend up to his feet.

“Emma is fine,” The midwife smiled sweetly, stepping from the room and closing the door softly behind her. Killian brushed his palms over his rumpled shirt, the clamminess seemingly stuck to his skin with the rush of adrenaline hearing the words had caused. Emma, his Emma, was fine.

“And the baby?” Graham interjected from behind Killian who gulped hard, looking between the two of them and finally resting his expectant gaze on the midwife. She paused, an eternal beat of time that Killian wished he could have sped up just like in the Om.

“A beautiful baby girl,” she grinned widely. “Healthy and perfect in every way.”

Killian almost jumped into Graham’s arms when the man spun him around and pulled him into a crushing hug. Hours of fatigue finally caught up with him and his defenses crumbled, the hot sting of tears pricking at the corner of Killian’s eyes and blurring his vision. He buried his face into Graham’s shoulder, soaking his shirt with tears as two manly thumps of congratulations echoed through his back and chest.

“I told you,” Graham smirked with relief. Killian pulled away from him and looked at his feet whilst he wiped at his tears, running his hand down his face and letting his stubble, that was edging on a full beard, absorb the salty droplets.

“Strongest person we know,” Killian smiled exuberantly and shook the hand Graham offered him.

Graham raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching sideways into a smirk. “You haven’t met your daughter yet,” he reminded Killian.

As if a sudden realisation had hit him, Killian turned back to the midwife, his heart pounding in his chest and his face turning white. He had known about his daughter for far longer than anyone else, but now he was suddenly terrified of the very notion of seeing her for the first time. Since the wedding, which had happened so quickly after his return from the Nether, Killian had devoted so much of his time to make sure that Emma and the baby had everything they could ever need. Emma was constantly telling him to stop fussing, but Killian had not, insisting on the very best for them.

Before Emma was too pregnant, they had decorated the nursery. A splash of blue colour on the wall opposite the window turned purple in the sunlight as it spilled through the sheer, pink drapes they had hung. The dark wood of the furniture contrasted with the plush, white carpet and was accented perfectly with the soft, pink linen that was tucked into the crib. They had decided that since she would most likely be their little princess, that she should be treated like one, so Mary Margaret, who as it turned out was a great artist, had painted a fairytale castle and part of an enchanted forest on one of the walls. David had insisted on as many Disney toys as possible, filling the nursery with a huge Dumbo plush, a smaller Sven (because she WOULD like Frozen) and a tiny mini set of plushies from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

“Would you like to meet her?” The midwife again shook Killian from his reverie and Graham nudged him in the back. “And I know Emma would love to see you.”

Killian nodded and when the midwife pushed the door open, he stepped through it almost silently. There was a soft yellow glow of light over Emma’s bed and she was sitting up with her arms crossed over her chest, the blankets tucked around her legs and a smile on her face. She looked exhausted, her alabaster face a stark contrast to the pink of her cheeks and the green of her eyes as she gazed upon their daughter in her arms.

“Hey, love,” Killian whispered as he stepped closer and his hand crept up to scratch behind his ear.

Emma looked up at him with the love only a parent can hold for their child plastered on her face, lighting up her eyes to an even more vibrant shade of emerald than before. She couldn’t hold back the tears as they fell, rolling over the apple of her cheeks silently and falling from her chin to the blanket below as she held out her hand for him.

They had no need for words as Killian gripped her fingers in his, letting her pull him towards her and immediately planting his lips to her brow. His other hand smoothed over the back of her head, holding it to his lips as he inhaled the medical scent of hospital from her hair and fought with the shake of his lips against her skin.

“I thought I’d lost you,” Killian sobbed, his emotional state already well and truly compromised before he had even laid eyes of his daughter. “Both of you.” Emma nudged her head harder against his face, loving the way his fingers tickled behind her ear and his lips ghosted over her temple.

“No chance,” Emma laughed, her voice watery in the back of her throat. She looked down at the tiny bundle in her arms and smiled harder. “We are not going anywhere.” Emma pulled her hand from Killian’s so that she could touch the tiny fingers of their daughter, the skin to skin contact something she had found so addictive already she thought she might never let her go.

“Oh, Emma, she’s so beautiful,” Killian grinned but was instantly taken by surprise when the boom of his voice made the tiny tot twitch in Emma’s arms. “She has your nose,” he whispered softly, cupping the pink baby bonnet covered head of his daughter in his gigantic palm.

“She has your ears,” Emma purred sweetly, tracing the outline of the baby’s elvish ears with the tip of her finger. The little girl scrunched up her face and balled her fist, grabbing the edge of the hospital issue blanket she was wrapped in before letting out a small, content sigh.

“Sorry about that, poppet,” Killian murmured at his daughter as he leaned over and pressed his lips to her forehead. She was so small Killian thought he might break her, his hands shaking as he brushed his lips over her soft, warm scalp. “Daddy’s sorry.”

Emma caught his attention as he pulled away from the babe, clutching the side of his scruffy cheek and pulling his face to her mouth. She pressed her lips to his cheek, tiny prickles of stubble poking her lips and making them itch across her smile as she hummed against Killian’s face. “I like the sound of that.”

“Daddy?” Killian raised an eyebrow at her.

“It suits you,” Emma smiled at him, scooting sideways on the bed and inviting him to perch beside her with a pat on the starchy hospital blanket.

“Now it does, but what am I going to do when she is sixteen and hates me? I’m sure she will have a more colourful moniker for me then,” Killian laughed nervously, gazing back at his sleeping daughter. “She’s so perfect like this. Can’t she just stay this small and call me Daddy forever?” Killian reached out and touched the softness of the baby’s cheek, feeling his worries fade away when the side of her mouth curved up into a reflexive smile.

“I think she’ll always call you Daddy,” Emma told him softly, watching their daughter yawn in her arms.

“And what do we call this little mite?” Killian cooed at the baby. “We should give you a name, shouldn’t we?”

Emma pulled the baby closer to her chest when she started to wriggle in her arms, feeling the warmth of the tot through the material of the blanket she was wrapped in. “Something meaningful,” Emma beamed proudly. “Something that speaks volumes about who she is and what she means to us.”

Killian lifted his leg and finally perched on the edge of the bed, wrapping a big, strong arm around both Emma and the baby. His fingers traced lazy circles under the sleeve of Emma’s gown and goose bumps sprang up from her skin, begging for more of his touch. Emma was right, and she didn’t even know it. Killian was the only one with memories of his time in the Nether, even though things had adjusted somewhat in their favour since his return. Leroy was in prison and the threat from Gold was non-existent now that he was on his way to a supermax somewhere in the deserts of New Mexico.

The whole time he was away, Killian knew there was only one thing he knew, he needed to have, more than anything. One thing that he needed to make sure Emma felt, and continued to feel so that he could return home to them both. Without it, they would have drifted apart, Killian stuck without his family, and Emma in a forever state of sorrow. Hope is what kept them strong and what held them together.

“Hope,” Killian whispered lovingly, resting the side of his head of Emma’s. “Hope Jones.”

The second they were home with their brand new bundle of joy, Emma and Killian were invaded by the Nolans. David and Mary Margaret had children of their own, but it seemed that when somebody else had one, Mary Margaret was set into an instant state of brooding that gave David a worried look on his face. Killian couldn’t help but chuckle as David had held Hope in his arms, the smile of pride quickly turning into one of panic the second Mary Margaret had mentioned another.

Emma was feeling a little better. Sore, but better. She had spent an extra week inside of the hospital because of some slight complications following her surgery, but the doctors were now confident she would be okay at home. It probably had something to do with the incessant way Killian fussed over her whilst she was in the ward, but he didn’t care if they thought he was overbearing in the slightest. If they had any idea what he had gone through to get back to them both, they might have understood.

Even Captain Lucas had visited them both, bringing with her a little stuffed wolf cub toy for Hope and a fruit basket from the entire precinct for Emma. There was something about work that always lit up Emma’s face, and she was excited to see all of her colleagues, especially Graham who she had wanted to thank for being there with Killian at the hospital for so long. Things had returned to how they used to be, all three of them spending more time together socially and getting on without the animosity there once was. Killian felt like Emma had her old friend back, he had made a new one with someone he had no idea had so much in common with himself, and he was an invaluable crutch during the end of Emma’s pregnancy.

As he waved goodbye to another set of visitors and pushed the front door closed with a soft click, Killian breathed a hefty sigh. If having a child wasn’t tiring enough, constantly catering to the whim of guest after guest would be the end of him. Or so he thought, until he ascended the stairs on muffled footsteps, entered the nursery and saw the love of his life gently swaying with his daughter in her arms.

“Alright, love?” He called softly as he entered the recently decorated room. The faintest smell of paint lingered in the air, but it would soon fade and be replaced by the sweetness of baby products. “You look tired.”

“I’m exhausted,” Emma laughed a little, offering him Hope as a tiny, swaddled bundle of fleshy softness. The tot was wrapped tightly in the hospital blankets she came home in (Mary Margaret had sworn by its swaddling ability) with a pink cotton cap covering her delicate head. She was soundly asleep and didn’t even move as they transferred her between them.

“I still cannot believe we have a child,” Killian smiled, looking down at Hope in awe.

“She’s amazing, isn’t she?” Emma fawned, watching her husband gently rock the baby in his powerful arms. Sliding her phone out of her back pocket, Emma swiped the camera open and let the lens focus on the scene before her. It was magical and maybe it was the hormones, but her eyes welled up with fat tears of pride as Emma clicked the button on the side of her phone, and the shutter sound signaled she had taken a photograph.

“She’s perfect,” Killian said softly, looking away from the babe for a second when Emma prompted him for a photo. “Our little poppet.”

Having a baby was nothing like Killian had imagined. The books could only prepare you for so much, and they most certainly did not take stock of the number of time you would wake up each night and deprived of sleep, inadvertently stick your finger into the side of a soiled diaper, or how utterly removed from society you would feel. If Killian was honest with himself, having a baby was very similar to being in the Om; Time moved so quickly it was gone before you even realised you had it to spare, and there was a constant urgency associated with being apart from Hope for too long.

Killian felt like he needed to be close to her at all times, not miss a single second, and sometimes even that was not enough. He wanted to watch her breathe, focus his entire energy on making sure that the tiny thumping of her heartbeat was normal and just as perfect as he had imagined. Which was why, at three-thirty in the morning every night since she had come home, he had crept into her nursery in anticipation of the inevitable wails that followed, just so he could hold her and let Emma sleep uninterrupted.

“There, there, poppet,” Killian cooed almost silently. He padded into the nursery barefoot, his pajama pants hanging low on his hips and his bare chest that was covered in a layer of almost black hairs on full display. He kept the lights off except for a nearby plug in bulb that emitted a soft, pink hued glow around the nursery that was never too bright but just enough to chase away the shadows.

Reaching the dark wood of the crib that he and David had painstakingly erected mere weeks before Hope’s arrival, Killian leaned over to rest his flattened palm to his daughter's chest. The tiny beat of her super fast heart pounded against his fingertips and as if by magic, she ceased her fussing and sighed heavily, the screwed up expression she always wore before crying disappearing instantly. Killian let his hand rest there for a full minute, just taking in the tiny creation before him.

Emma had been right. Hope had his ears, a smaller, pinker variation, but still undoubtedly curved at the bottom and tapering into an Elfish point. Along the outside of the shell was a fine dusting of black hair, something that the midwife had assured them she would grow out of, but Killian found endearing and unable to resist, often stroking them softly as she slept or nursed.

Hope’s hair was as black as night against the paleness of her skin, her tiny transparent eyelids hiding the ocean blue-green eyes that were the perfect mixture of both of her parents. They had been told they might change, but Killian felt confident that even with his dark hair, Hope had inherited everything else about her mother and her eyes would be just as beautiful as Emma’s and retain their emerald glow. She had a flush to her chubby cheeks, another of Emma’s traits, and a button nose that squeaked and snuffled with her quickened breathing. Even in the faint, cherise colouring that cast itself all around her, Hope was a vision of light, everything Killian had imagined she would be and more. She was perfect.

Killian leaned over the crib and scooped his hand under her soft skull, letting her head flop back into his palm like a warm pillow. At first, he had been worried about holding her, scared that he would somehow injure her with his strength, but he was starting to realise that babies were more robust than he had imagined and with his second hand under her diaper clad behind, Killian lifted her from the crib.

With a tiny whimper, Hope shifted in his hands. Just like her mother, she hated to be disturbed a moment sooner than she needed to be, and it made Killian smile at the thought. “Come now, my little poppet,” Killian soothed gently, holding her against his chest and slowly swaying a little from side to side. “There’s no need for that now.” Hope stiffened only slightly as Killian moved to a nearby rocking chair that faced out of the window, the square, padded cushion on the seat pink to match the rest of Hope’s room.

When he sat down, lowering himself so slowly the muscles in his legs tensed to hold him up, Hope relaxed against his chest, her face turned sideways with the steady beat of his heart under her ear like the rhythmic beat of a lullaby. Killian folded his arm over his chest, pining Hope’s tiny legs to his chest and supported her back with his other hand. Hope settled instantly, pinching a bunch of his chest hair in her fingers.

“That’s better isn’t it, my love,” Killian whispered. “Daddy’s got you.”

Hope let out a tiny wail, the sound catching in the back of her throat as she shifted her face against the coarse hair on Killian’s chest. Killian began to hum a lullaby his mother used to sing to him when he was a young boy, the words long forgotten but the melody as clear as day in his mind. He remembered it was an old sea shanty that his grandfather used to sing to her, the calming tune like the song of a siren to children. With a squeak Hope relaxed again, Killian’s hand moving slowly over the curve of her back and his chest vibrating with a low hum that seemed to calm her agitation. She would be due a feeding soon, but until absolutely necessary, Killian would leave Emma as long as he could.

“I know you will not remember this,” he began, inhaling the sweet scent of her in his arms. She smelled of baby powder and soap and Killian knew that once she aged a little he would miss it instantly. “But Daddy fought very hard to come home to you.” Hope let out another small squeal, her tongue clicking the roof of her mouth as she tried to suck an invisible teat. “Yes, I did,” Killian cooed as if he was answering a question she had posed and before he knew it a single tiny tear of happiness had rolled from his eyelid. “You made it so that your mother and I could talk between planes of existence, and even though you will never know what that means, you will always be the thing that gave me the tenacity to fight my way home.”

The tot wailed louder in Killian’s arms and he clutched her to his chest as he stood to his feet. “You are my light, poppet. You guided me through the darkness and back to the two people that I love most in this world.” Killian padded silently out of the room and down the hall towards their bedroom. Pausing outside of the door, he shifted Hope in his arms until she was laying on her back in the crook of his elbow, her legs instinctively lifting towards her chest and her arms stiffening, outstretched for the comforting curve of her mother’s breasts that meant food.

Killian wouldn’t mind the crying. He wouldn’t mind the sleepless nights and he wouldn’t mind the inevitable troubled teens that were sure to follow with a child who was the product of two parents who would fight, with everything they had, for what they loved and believed in. With a final, loving smile, Killian leaned forward and pressed his lips to Hope’s forehead. “You will never realise why I love you so dearly but it is because you gave me something, in name and in spirit, that kept me going. You gave me hope.”

#between now and nether #epilogue #its over #i am so sad #cs ff #cs au ff #cs fanfic #cs halloweek #cshalloweek #complete #artistic-writer

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