#crystal edgley
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artofapeach · 1 year ago
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The twins
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re-1124c41 · 2 years ago
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Growing Pains (Everything Is Relative) ---- Chapter 14  of Roll the Bones is now up! 
happy new year everyone~!
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skulduggery-pleasant-bp9 · 1 year ago
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Playing with a Coroner and a Detective is not wise - Skulduggery x Male!Reader Universe
WARNING!: Anger issued Reader, cursing, threatening, mild violence, Fergus x Beryl (They are really people responsible for snger issues) AND MORE ! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !
Part 1 - Gordon’s Testament
Gordon was dead and the Edgley Family was with Gordon’s lawyer, to hear who inherited what. Fergus, Beryl, Carol and Crystal were VERY impatient, while they had to wait for two more people.
“Can’t we just start without them already ?!”, Beryl demanded like a spoiled brat.
“No, we have to wait for the last two people.”, Mr. Fedgewick answered nervously.
Then a man, face completely covered in a scarf, hat and sunglasses, entered.
“I apologize for my lateness, it really didn’t get sooner.”, the man excused himself.
“You are ?”, Fergus asked with annoyance.
“Skulduggery Pleasant.”, the covered man answered.
Beryl scoffed and looked at Melissa and Desmond.
“Of course YOUR brat will be late ! At such an important day he HAS to be late !”, she yelled.
“Don’t talk about my Brother like that.”, Stephanie defended.
Then Melissa’s phone rang and she sighed in relief as she saw her Son’s name appear. She answered and put him on speaker.
“Hello, Son. Where are you ?”, she asked worried.
“Hey Mom ! I am so sorry ! I forgot to bring something to my workplace and had to go there to turn it in, because it was due for today. Then I wanted to drive straight to Mr. Fedgewick’s and meet you all there, but I am stuck in traffic. A car accident happened and I am stuck in here. I will need another 10 to 15 minutes to get out of here. Do you think you can wait that long ? Otherwise I am fine with you all hearing Uncle’s Will without me. It will be saddening that I am not there, but this was really unexpected and I am unsure how long Mr. Fedgewick will have time. He probably has other clients too...”, a teenage boy’s voice explained.
Before Beryl and Fergus could snarl at Fedgewick, to read the Will already, Stephanie replied.
“We can wait. This reading means a lot to you and you are Family too.”
Melissa nodded and smiled at her, while Stephanie’s Aunt and Uncle scoffed in hatred.
“She is right, Son. Just be careful and don’t drive too fast, yes ?”, Melissa said worried.
“I will be careful, Mom. I will be there soon. I am really sorry, that I am so late today. Usually I am always the first one to arrive and this is just embarrassing...”
“It could have happened to anyone, Son. Don’t sweat it. I stuck a lot in traffic and came late to work and meetings. No one was ever mad at me for it.”, Desmond replied happily.
The boy chuckled.
“Thanks, Dad. I love you two, see you soon. And Steph...when I arrive there, you better give me back my SD card.”
Stephanie chuckled.
“I have it in my bag.”
“Good.”
With that they hung up and waited a bit more.
-Twenty minutes later-
He cursed as he ran through the corridors and to the office. Why had this to happen to him at this day ?! Got he could beat himself up about this right now ! He soon arrived at the door and knocked gently.
“Come in !”, Fedgewick’s voice called.
He opened the door and breathed heavily, then entered and closed the door, taking off his coat.
“I am so very sorry that I am late. Traffic was a nightmare. The police gave my side two minutes to pass, while the other got ten. The traffic lights were broken and there was a nasty car accident, so police had to deal with it. Did I miss anything important already ?”, the Teenager asked.
“Are you M/n Edgley ?”, Fedgewick asked.
“Yes, that is me. Do you need my ID ? I have brought it with me, in case.”, M/n replied.
Fedgewick nodded and M/n quickly got out his purse and pulled out his ID card. He gave it to Fedgewick and he checked it over, after that he nodded and gave it back to him.
“Well then, FINALLY we can start.”, Beryl replied pissed and glared at M/n.
M/n scoffed as he sat down.
“Shut it, woman, you are the most disrespectful person here. If I were you, I would be praying that I even got something from my Brother in law. For your personality, I wouldn’t be surprised if he would only give you a boot to the head.”, he replied to her comment.
“You little shit ! Respect your elders !”, she yelled.
“You are older than me ? Then fucking act like it. All I see is a spoiled little brat that is a five year old. You aren’t older than me.”, he scoffed.
“Why YOU-?!”
“Anyways. Now that I am here, let us start, yes ? I still have so much paperwork to do...”, M/n said slightly saddened and rudely interrupting Beryl.
Just then he spotted Skulduggery Pleasant and he gave the person a smile.
“I think we haven’t met before. My apologies, that I didn’t notice you, Sir. My name is M/n Edgley. What is yours, if I may ?”
“It is nice to meet you Mr. Edgley. My name is Skulduggery Pleasant.”, the man covered in a scarf, sunglasses and had said, nodding his head in respect.
“Ah, Uncle talked a bit about you. His best friend, as much, as I recall. Nice to finally see you in person. I was worried that Gordon was messing with me at this point, given I never saw you around.”
The man chuckled.
“I was pretty busy, but came to visit often.”, he replied.
“Ah, that explains it. The job must be pretty serious then, otherwise you would have a lot of time. Every job is different after all.”, M/n said smiling.
Skulduggery nodded.
“He is a weirdo. Who covers their face like this ?”, Fergus scoffed in disgust.
M/n’s smile fell and it turned into an annoyed glare.
“Believe it or not, Mr. Snotty 24/7, there are people that are VERY insecure about their looks and rather hide them. From where would YOU know, what this Gentleman went through, huh ? Maybe he had a terrible accident and his face got it worst or he was attacked once and barely made it out alive or he was born a bit weird looking, that he started to hate it. Who the flying FUCK are YOU, to judge people that hide their face, hmm ?”, M/n snarled back in disrespect, getting fed up with his and his Wife’s attitude.
“You little-!”
“Now then, I deeply apologize for these Crack heads. Can we start ? I fear if I stay any longer with them in here, I will start a scene. I never got along with these people.”, M/n asked kindly and rudely interrupted Fergus.
Stephanie smiled in amusement and Fedgewick chuckled slightly.
“You are almost like Gordon was. Honest and still humorous.”, the lawyer said.
“What can I say ? I take more after him. I liked the way he was as a person and looked slightly up to him. Thanks to him, I am the person I am today.”, M/n said happily.
Stephanie, her parents and Fedgewick smiled at that, while the other half of the Edgley Family glared at him. Then Fedgewick started to give them all his condolences, with Baryl interrupted rudely, wanting to cut straight to the chase, which made M/n lose his smile yet again. He turned to her.
“Shut the fuck up, will you ? Here are people that cared about Gordon. Just because you don’t, doesn’t that mean, that you can tell anyone what to do. If you don’t wanna hear it, then get the fuck out. No one wants to hear your snotty, bratty attitude.”
“How about you learn manners ?!”, Fergus yelled.
“How about you look in a mirror and take your own advice, Fergus ? You, your Wife and your children are all VERY disrespectful. So shut the fuck up and if you don’t like it, get the fuck out. No one wants to hear you, you Gold diggers.”, M/n snarled back in hatred.
“You little adopted shit !”, Carol yelled.
M/n glared at her.
“You, better bake VERY little buns right now, you little Bitch. Get involved again and I might make you shut up in a way you won’t like.”, he threatened darkly.
“Is that a threat towards my daughter ?!”, Beryl yelled.
“Yes, it is ! You all apparently didn’t learn any manners as children, so I might as well, smack her across the face if she keeps it up ! You two grown up idiots can’t even raise your own kids properly !”, M/n hollered.
Stephanie got up and went over to her older, adopted, Brother. She pulled him into a hug, while he continued to glare at the wedded couple with hatred and disgust.
“Calm down, M/n... They aren’t worth it.”, she tried to calm him down.
“I can’t do this anymore, Stephanie ! Everywhere we go or show up with them, they are like this ! They treat everyone like utter shit and think they are the most perfect people ever ! I am sick and tired of it ! All they do is embarrass us ! God, every time we go somewhere with these people, I am in second hand embarrassment ! I have to pretend that I don’t even KNOW them, with their disgusting attitude ! I’m sick and tired of it !”
At that everyone was dead silent. M/n was pissed off and that rightfully.
“I HATE them ! All they do is care about themselves ! They never cared about Uncle Gordon and now they demand to get something from him ?! I hope they get close to nothing from him !”, he yelled.
Stephanie hugged M/n tighter and he hugged back, tears coming to his eyes. No one could tell if it was from rage or sadness, but it, none the less, made everyone go silent at once, while Stephanie was there for him.
After a while, she parted and pulled her chair next to him, so she was close, in case he had another rage episode. M/n was always short tempered and quick to rage when Fergus and Beryl were around with their kids. It wasn’t always like that, but one day, they were just toxic to each other and M/n wanted nothing to do with them since, only if necessary, did he spend time with them. And with necessary, it meant when Melissa forced him to stay and spend time with the whole Family.
“Excuse me...please continue.”, M/n got out with a quiet voice.
He was still calming down, but Fedgewick nodded and started with opening the Testament. Again giving his condolences and everything, this time, no one interrupted him, in fear M/n will lash out again.
Skulduggery kept a close eye on M/n. The Teenager seemed to be between 15 and 18 years of age and he seemed very sad.
Then Fedgewick read out what Beryl and Fergus got.
His Car, boat and a little present. As they asked what the present was, in excitement, he opened a small box and in it laid a brooch. It looked old, but M/n, none the less, smirked.
Gordon’s car wasn’t worth much to sell, the brooch was old and pretty, but not much worth and then the boat. It was a small one and also not worth much, because it was old and needed some work to look better.
M/n would have laughed, if he wouldn’t feel so incredibly sad at the same time. His Uncle was dead. He always brightened up his day after work, always knew what to do with him...He was the best and he left. Why couldn’t someone from Fergus’ side have died ? They were always rude and mean...and they only cared about the money Gordon made anyways. They didn’t like M/n either and they never helped, nor supported him, in anything he did.
It was unfair !
After that, they tried to know what else they got, but that was all, which made Beryl wail. M/n scoffed and stared at her with darkness in his eyes.
“Kindly get out of the room and cry. As many say in my workplace ‘Cry silently, Chantalle.’”, M/n scoffed.  (In my school we knew that term, please don’t take it as offense, whoever knows a Chantalle ! We just had that saying !)
Fedgewick then looked at Skulduggery Pleasant and read out a small text that Gordon wrote down. He left the man only an advice.
“Your path is yours alone and I don't want to dissuade you, but sometimes we find the greatest enemy within ourselves and fight the greatest battles against the darkness within. A storm is coming and sometimes the key to safe harbor remains hidden from us. Sometimes, however, it is right in front of our eyes.”
Everyone stared at Skulduggery with wide eyes, besides M/n. He was very interested in that advice. It sounded more like a riddle he had to solve. M/n got out his phone, opened Word and then wrote the whole thing down quickly. He will figure this out ! His Uncle was very cryptic, but he knew for a fact that this was a riddle. He will solve it !
Stephanie looked at her older Brother and saw that he typed it all down quickly. So he thought it was important and a riddle to solve. She knew, from the moment this stranger entered the office, that there was something about him. Something mysterious and dangerous.
M/n stuffed his phone back into his pocket as he finished and waited for the rest to snap out of their momentum.  Skulduggery only nodded silently. Fergus then told his Wife that they were at least lucky enough to get the few things Gordon had, instead of some stupid advice. She just hissed at him to be silent, which made him cower away.
“He is right, be grateful, Beryl. And you know what the best part is ? This Gentleman is taking it with dignity and respect. Just an advice and yet, he accepts this and doesn’t whine about it. I understand why he liked you, Mr. Pleasant.”, M/n said smiling.
Skulduggery chuckled softly and nodded.
“Thank you. His advices are greatly appreciated. I need them a lot.”, he replied.
M/n smiled.
“My Uncle was cool in that way, aren’t I right ? He helped me with these a lot too.”
“Hah ! A Team member then, huh ?”, he asked jokingly.
“Seems so.”, M/n chuckled.
Then Melissa and Desmond had their turn. He joked about leaving Desmond his Wife, that he successfully took away from Gordon. Of course it was a joke. They were saddened a bit and then Fedgewick read out that Desmond also inherited his Villa in France.
Beryl made a scene at that, while Fergus wanted her to stop her tantrum. She went on about how much worth it is and it made M/n’s blood boil.
“Fergus, put her on a leash, before I snap and slap her so hard that she will see starts, pass out and wake up in a hospital.”, M/n growled out pissed.
Fergus grew worried. M/n never threatened to hurt Beryl.
“Beryl, please calm down...”
“NO !”
M/n snapped up and stalked towards her.
“You shut your ugly trap right now ! Otherwise you won’t like the outcome, Bitch ! I warned you multiple times that I am VERY close to snap at you ! Sit your fat ass down and shut it !”, M/n screamed.
“You are my Nephew ! You have to RESPECT ME YO-!”
SLAP !
The whole room was dead silent and Beryl looked at her left, eyes wide in shock, while her right cheek formed a red handprint. M/n glared at her, his hand still in position to give her a backhand slap too. M/n looked livid.
“I. Said. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, BITCH !”, M/n screamed at her pissed off.
She whimpered and sat down instantly, tears in her eyes.
“Just WHY do we have to deal with people like YOU, Beryl ?! My GOD are you ANNOYING and OBSESSED with showing off and money ! No wonder Uncle Gordon didn’t want you to have anything too expensive ! Such an ungrateful woman like you, I have NEVER met in my LIFE !”, M/n raged.
Stephanie quickly pulled him to his chair and hugged him tightly again. She was his anchor, when he let his rage consume him.
“DON’T mess with my Family, Bitch ! They deserved the Villa, because they CARED about Gordon as a PERSON, not some fucking PAYCHECK !”
“We are Family too, M/n.”, Fergus said softly.
“NO YOU ARE NOT ! I WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU AS A PART OF MY FAMILY ! ALL YOU EVER DID WAS HATE UNCLE GORDON ! YOU !!! HIS OWN FUCKING BROTHER !! GO TO HELL, FERGUS !”, M/n yelled in rage and pure hatred.
He looked away, scared for his life.
“M/n, Brother, remember what the psychologist said a few years ago, yeah ? Don’t let your rage consume you. Take deep breaths. Relax. No one is hurt. We are all fine. Remember what Uncle Gordon said, yes ?”, she whispered into his ear.
M/n’s rage was gone in a flash as she mentioned Gordon. His eyes went wide and then he hugged her back, tears again in his eyes.
“S-sorry, Steph...”, he muttered out.
“It’s okay. Just stay calm, okay ? No one is hurt and we won’t have to endure them that long anymore, okay ? After this testament is over, we can leave and have some bobba tea, okay ?”
He nodded with a small smile and sat down again, this time Stephanie sat on his lap, to keep him grounded.
“Is he always like this ? No judgment, just curious.”, Skulduggery asked softly.
Melissa and Desmond looked at him worried, while Stephanie felt like she had to answer him.
“Only if someone hurts us, threatens us or if Beryl and Fergus are around him with their kids. He is very overprotective of Family and he hates people that see his Family as an object, they can use. So he gets pissed off very easily.”, she answered softly.
M/n wrapped his arms around his little Sister and hid his face in her left shoulder, still trying to calm down. She felt that he was shaking. Skulduggery only nodded at that. He knew that kind of rage and protectiveness. It has been a while since he saw someone, who was just like he used to be.
“Can we please just continue ?”, M/n asked softly.
Stephanie rubbed M/n’s hands softly, to help him calm down. Fedgewick looked back down at the paper and continued to read, understanding that M/n got more and more unstable.
“With all that sorted out, I want to come to my Niece and Nephew now.”, he read out loud.
M/n and Stephanie looked at him with wide eyes. They will also inherit something ? Is Uncle Gordon serious ?
“I regret that I never had children of my own, but at the same time I felt lucky that I never had any, if I think at what Fergus and Beryl produced.”, he contined to read out.
M/n smirked and Stephanie had to keep her chuckle in.
“Although I have to admit that I saw Steph and M/n like my own kids at some point, sorry Melissa and Desmond, but I had to be honest. M/n, I know that you are adopted and that you always felt like, you weren’t good enough for anyone. That you felt like you never tried or did enough, but I promise you, you are enough. You do enough. You try enough. I know you are only 16 years of age, but you already finished school and college with 13 years of age, thanks to your incredible intelligence. I am proud of you and of how far you have come in such little time. And as you know, I let you move in with me, so you have more space to work and storage notes in and for Stephanie to finally have a bigger room to herself. I don’t want you to move out, so I decided, since you and Steph were both like my own kids that you have to share my house together.”
Their eyes went wide and M/n smiled happily. He was already worried where he should go that had enough space for him to work even from home, but now, this was a blessing to him. And he will share it with his little Sister ! He hugged her tightly, he didn’t mind sharing, all he wanted was for her to own the house too and he was happy they both own it now.
“Stephanie, my wonderful niece, I hope you aren’t all that mad with that decision. I want to give you also a few words, before I reveal what else YOU alone will inherit. The world is bigger, than you think, and scarier, as you can imagine. The only currency, that is worth something, is that, you always stay loyal to yourself, and the only goal, that is worth going for, is to find out, who you really are.”, Fedgewick read out.
She was giving a sad smile, while M/n smiled at her too, saddened, but with slight joy for her.
“Make your parents proud and take care, that they are lucky, to have you, because I am leaving to you all of my possessions, my financial assets and my royalties. They shall with the day, you’ll turn eighteen, be transferred to you. I want to use this opportunity and tell you, that I love you all in my very own way, even those, that I don’t like very much. I mean you with that, Beryl.”
Beryl scoffed softly, but instantly cowered away as M/n glared at her, with a dark promise.
“Before we end this whole testament, I want to remind you of something, M/n.”, Fedgewick continued to read out.
M/n snapped his attention back to him, listening.
“We all know you have serious anger issues and you are very overprotective, maybe even a bit territorial, of the Family. Anything bad, no matter how small, sets you off into a raging storm and that goes to Family only. Remember what I told you. No matter how outraged you get, try to keep a clear head for me, okay ? Rage can make you blind and you could lash out, doing or saying something, you didn’t mean to. Rage makes you think illogically, so please, always try to stay calm enough to take in your surroundings. Think, before you act. I know you are a very smart and clever boy, so please use that head of yours. I know you will miss me terribly, because now you have no one that will help you out, when you are stuck or stressed out, so I thought of something small, but don’t have too much hope on it.”
M/n listened very carefully and he was confused. What was his Uncle planning ?
“I bet you met Skulduggery Pleasant, my friend that I told you a bit about. You two have almost similar jobs. I ask of Skulduggery, as a very good friend, to give you his phone number. He might be able to help you in some problems you are going to be stuck in. And no, Skul, I don’t mean any physical problems, I mean in his job, some problems. After all...your jobs are almost the same. Please help him out when he asks for your help. I trust you enough for this. I love you all and I hope you will live happily.”, Fedgewick finished and took off his glasses.
M/n was surprised and Skulduggery seemed to be too.
“Similar jobs, huh ?”, Skulduggery asked.
“What kind of job, M/n ?”, Melissa asked.
M/n felt himself sweating at that question.
“Marketing ! I got promoted and I do marketing stuff now and I design websites. I didn’t know Mr. Pleasant had something similar to it.”, he lied quickly.
Skulduggery seemed to pick up on it, while the others blindly believed him.
“Ah, yes. I do something quite similar. I am surprised you do such a job as well.”, he replied, playing along.
“You might have some tricks that I don’t know of. Can’t wait to learn from them.”, M/n played it off.
“Of course.”
Stephanie got up and M/n stood up as well. Beryl threw a fit and M/n raced out of the room, wishing Fedgewick a nice day and thanking him for everything. Skulduggery was close behind him.
“Alright.”, M/n said as he was alone with the mysterious man.
“What are you actually doing for a job ?”, M/n asked.
“You say yours first.”, Skulduggery replied.
“I work as a Coroner.”, M/n answered honestly.
Skulduggery was stunned into silence.
“You, a Coroner ?”
“Yep. I worked and studied very hard for it and with 13 years I got the job. I have been very good since, but there are newly some...clients that seem to have died...weirdly. Or better...murdered....weirdly... Any time I was stuck and couldn’t make sense of it, Gordon helped me. He made me relax and then we talked about it, then he came up with conclusions and at least one of them was always right.”, M/n explained.
“You are sixteen and you work as a Coroner ?”, he repeated.
“I had to grow up way faster than others. When you lived on the streets for a while and saw horror at its worst, as a kid none the less, you don’t get scared that easily anymore when you work with corpses.”, M/n said slightly monotone.
“Oh dear... I work as a Detective.”, Skulduggery answered softly.
M/n stared at the masked man in surprise.
“Huh. Uncle was right then. We have similar jobs. You solve the Crime and who did it, while I inspect the corpses and what killed them.”
“Seems so.”
“Though, I bet you do a different Detective job, because I’ve never seen, nor heard of you around here before. So I guess you work on ‘special’ cases. Am I right ?”
“You can call it that.”, Skulduggery confirmed.
“Okay... I have some ‘special’ cases sometimes, that the Crime police doesn’t want to waste their time on, because they think it is stupid or too much of a hassle. I can send you one and you could tell me if that would fall into your categories of ‘special’ cases.”, M/n offered.
“That would be a good idea.”
“Well then...phone number ? I could send you pictures of the reports then.”
“Oh, right.”
Skulduggery pulled out a pen and paper and wrote down his phone number, then he gave it to M/n.
“Thank you, Sir.”
“If we work together a few times, just call me Skulduggery. Sir makes me feel older than I am.”
“Okay, Skulduggery. I will text you later, when I have the reports.”
“Splendid.”
Then Skulduggery looked at his pocket watch and sighed.
“Well, I have to get going to work now.”, he told the Teen.
He was about to leave as M/n stopped him.
“Hey.”
“Yes ?”, Skulduggery asked.
“If you need help or something, tell me, yeah ? I might look like I don’t know a lot, but I know more than anyone thinks. If you are stuck on something, tell me and I’ll try to help. Helping goes both ways, after all.”, M/n said softly, with a kind smile.
Skulduggery felt touched.
“I will. Same goes to you. If you are in ANY trouble, call me. I will come to help.”
“Any trouble ? Even physical ones ?”, M/n asked softly.
“Any trouble. That includes physical trouble. If you feel watched or are being followed, call me and I will come.”
M/n smiled brighter and nodded.
“I will, thank you.”
“You are welcome. After all, Coroner is just as much of a dangerous job, as a Detective one’s is.”
With that Skulduggery left and M/n felt a bit touched. He understood now why Gordon liked this guy.
Masterlist HERE !
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n14-4cko · 6 months ago
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Okay I’m going to ramble hold on right
* Skul loves reading at the local library and one day meets author Gordon edgley, starts reading his books, and later wins a contest because he predicted the ending with the clues given throughout the series or something. Gordon finds him a bit cheeky but daring and clever nonetheless and after skul keeps following him at book meets for more answers and predictions, Gordon invited him over to talk more about detective work and they grew close (uncle/nephew type thing)
* Skul is given the same advice in the funeral and Val gets the house and what not. Not sure how to add beryl, fergus, carol and crystal :(
* Val doesn’t use a wig and sunglasses often, instead uses a bike helmet and is wearing that when the house gets broken into. (later gets the facade)
* Val has the powers she has currently and throws lightning not fire on the guy who broke the door down. (the guy also can use lightning since in the book he was impervious to fire. So now it’s lightning i suppose)
* Skul is at Gordon’s home. He picked the locks after the funeral to try and get closure to feel better, he’s sat reading when the break in happens.
* Doesn’t faint at seeing skeleton Val, but asks lots of questions. THEN faints.
* Val doesn’t have a hat to steal, but she has tire marks to follow. One of skuls brothers is obsessed with bikes so he has minor knowledge and, he somehow figures out where she lives and demands to be brought along with the cool lightning throwing biker skeleton
* wife and child - girlfriend and sister (melitsa and Alice
* Val drives a 1949 Vincent 998cc Black Lightning Series-C. One of only 34 ever made (bike)
* Darquesse and lord vile also swapped places. Though darquesse was/is her anger and alter ego for 5 years and lord vile is the true name, seen by seers and by skulduggery in the book of names.
* Most things and people stay the same (for now lol)
* The first time Val brings Skulduggery on a mission/investigation he puts on his best suit w bow tie and converse. When asked he insists he wants to be practical and taken seriously and to look the part. He’s just a huge doctor who fan. Later meets ghastly and gets a proper suit and shoes. Likes it more.
* Skulduggery is the one who insists at first about finding out about Gordon’s death (he’s vals great great great nephew or something and still writes books)
* Val is openly known to have lots of powers, less than book Val but is stronger and had much more practice focusing on less powers.
* Instead of Solomon giving Val permission to use his cane, skulduggery doesn’t ask and throws spears of darkness. Doesn’t enjoy it but is willing to learn more. Not necessarily from Solomon but will listen to Val and others.
* Val isn’t a detective specifically but is still very good at getting the job done like in the books. Skulduggery quickly becomes the brains and likes to deduce what’s going on and slowly becomes very talented at it.
*im not certain on whether the facade has the random face like skul or if she’ll have her own permenantly. I like the idea of both tbh so she can be herself and blend in inconspicuously if need be.
I’ll either change this or add more (or both) but these are my initial thoughts.
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sp-fanclub · 8 months ago
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welcome to the cast……..
🪞EMILY OSMENT is CAROL EDGLEY ❤️‍🩹
👭 GRACE VAN DIEN is CRYSTAL EDGLEY💔
🧛 JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER is CAELAN ❌
thank you for your votes darlings, & i’ll announce our next three characters later today…
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a-mad-scientists-writing · 1 year ago
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A New Era (3)
Chapter 3: The Sceptre of the Spirits
AO3 1 2 3 4 5 6
P1 P2 P3 P4
Apart from a luxury boat, a journal full of scribbles, and a villa in Ba Sing Se, every single one of deceased horror-fiction writer Gordon Edgley’s possessions pass to his youngest niece, Valkyrie Cain. This causes a lot of chaos, namely:
Carol and Crystal Edgley couldn’t care less about the shoddy notebook of their uncle’s thoughts they find themselves in possession of, and enter into a screaming contest right in the solicitor’s office as soon as the shock wears off. Their parents do little to temper this, as…
Fergus and Beryl Edgley are too busy fighting over the boat neither of them want. Valkyrie wouldn’t go so far as to say that she deserves the fortune Gordon left her, but in seeing the way Fergus and Beryl act, she can’t say she’s sorry they missed out.
There is, however, a rather pressing problem that no one as yet knows about, which is...
3. The identity of Nefarian Serpine’s next target.
The next day, Melissa Edgley and her daughter decide to make the trek from their village to Gordon’s mansion, a secluded place hidden in the woods by the Cave of Two Lovers. The Edgleys’ village is called Léi, and the name suits the place as far as Valkyrie is concerned. Yes, it is her home, and yes, she does love the feeling of the sun on her skin, and the way the river dashes through the Kolau Mountains, and the soothing breeze that plays with her hair… but all it does lately is serve to remind her how much else she hasn’t seen.
While Desmond is overseeing a construction project in Omashu, a neighbour takes them the bulk of the journey on a cart, and then leaves them near the river crossing. Valkyrie and Melissa talk idly as they walk the final stretch along the dirt path through the trees. They’ve made this journey many times, and considering they own the dwelling at the end of it now, expect to make it many more. The roar of the river draws ever closer.
A sturdy bridge crosses the vast expanse. Recent storms have raised the water level, but not to a dangerous degree. They break for lunch upon reaching the white-water rush, and Valkyrie eagerly heads on over the bridge as Melissa finishes gathering up their things.
The river is wide. The bridge is long. Over the great flurry, it is difficult to hear any other noise. The flash flood takes them not only by surprise, but force.
Valkyrie reaches the other side before the bridge is destroyed. Melissa’s scream reaches her over the roaring rapids, and she almost panics, but her mother is fine, just calling out to make sure she is alright too. Via gestures and yelling, the message gets across that her mother is urging her on towards Gordon’s place.
The shock of the situation wearing off, Valkyrie makes a half-hearted effort not to feel the excitement of going on an adventure alone, and continues on.
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Melissa doesn’t like this one bit; the journey to Gordon’s suddenly seems much longer, more serious, and more dangerous now that her twelve-year-old daughter is undertaking it alone, right after a flash flood. The river is too wild and filled with rocks to swim across, however. She heads upriver and further inland into the mountains, where the water will either eventually taper into a traversable crossing, or will enable her to pass straight on to Omashu to collect her husband and some sort of transport.
The flash flood has raised the water level too much to cross even at its narrowest part. Still, there is an extremely rickety old bridge spanning one section that, despite the clear danger, Melissa would have risked crossing- had she not seen Skulduggery Pleasant making his way along the opposite bank.
(He’s not a skeleton here. Tried to make it work. Couldn’t.)
It takes her only a split second to decide. Whatever Desmond’s reservations, he was a friend of Gordon’s, close enough to be invited to the will reading and the funeral, and is a high-ranking member of the Fire Nation. The Fire Lord’s court is well-known for being of good standing and trustworthiness these days. Mostly though, she’s more scared for her daughter than she is of a stranger. Melissa gets his attention through the simple expedient of hollering until he notices her.
He sends over a messenger hawk so they don’t have to yell, and once she relays the situation Skulduggery agrees to help. Apparently he was already heading in that direction, so going to Gordon’s place to make sure Valkyrie is safe is no trouble for him. Meanwhile, Melissa will take the long way around to Omashu.
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Hours after reaching Gordon’s mansion, located in a small hidden valley with a wondrous view of the surrounding forest and a river that gleams under the moon, Valkyrie is warm, dry, only a little hungry, and having a blast reading Gordon’s last work. Rather eager to keep the adventure going, she decides to spend the night, and then head on for Omashu in the morning. Valkyrie is happy, self-assured, and feels safe as anything. Until a firebender obsessed with some sort of map comes through the window and tries to kill her, of course.
Not to worry though. Skulduggery Pleasant breaks down the door and saves her life.
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The man’s hand is tight around her throat. Valkyrie kicks at his legs and scratches at his hands to no avail. Her vision, already blurred by tears and fear, is tunnelling. She gasps and chokes and all her attention is suddenly drawn to the fistful of flames in front of her eyes, igniting with a whoomph, close enough to singe the skin of her cheek.
“Now tell me,” hisses the man. “Where is the map?”
The front door is blasted off its hinges and slams into the opposite wall, in pieces and smoking. The hands around Valkyrie’s throat disappear. She’s on her knees on the floor and the room is on fire, ears ringing and the air singing with bursts of flame and wisecracks from the new man- the new firebender- who has just come into play.
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Once she wakes up from her bout of unconsciousness, Valkyrie’s more than a little curious as to what a high-ranking member of the Fire Nation is doing in the Earth Kingdom, and as it keeps her calm and was more than a little his fault she was in danger anyway (re: bait), Skulduggery sits with her for a while and talks. The answer to her question is, he’s keeping an eye on someone.
When Valkyrie starts asking about him personally, Skulduggery tells her that he wasn’t born or raised in the Fire Nation actually, but he is a firebender, and he was in the Capital when it fell, and stayed there for a while after, so they just went ahead and made him an official citizen.
Valkyrie then asks why he’s a firebender if he wasn’t born in the Fire Nation. Skulduggery airily replies that he has family from all over the world, and Fire Nation must be in there somewhere. His mother was an earthbender, his father a waterbender, and he had all sorts of bending and non-bending siblings. He helped a lot during the war, so the Fire Lord made him a special envoy, and the other nations accepted him as an arbiter with jurisdiction throughout the world. He splits his time between Ba Sing Se for his envoy duties and travelling the world for his arbiter ones. At the moment he’s on his way back to Ba Sing Se, to talk to King Eachan about his case. Valkyrie is fascinated.
‘But first,’ he tells her as he stands, ‘I have to take you back to your parents in Omashu.’
 Not exactly looking forward to a trek through the mountains in the dark, Valkyrie tries to make him wait with her in the mansion, but he is convinced they should get moving. Wary, but trusting that this man can handle things if they go wrong, she agrees.
On the journey from Gordon’s place to Omashu, things go wrong.
Half of the Kolau Mountains, the half where Gordon’s mansion and Léi reside, are covered in lush woodland. The terrain they now head through in the dark is on the rockier side which rarely sees rain and whose usual dusty underfoot has turned treacherous with mud. It is not difficult for their attacker to set off a small landslide that separates Valkyrie from Skulduggery.
During the chase, she jumps into a basin of roaring waterfalls in a desperate attempt to escape, and, miraculously, survives. The waters close over her head and she’s tossed around a fair bit, but ultimately borne safely back to shore. The most injuries she has are the bruises from particularly large rocks in the rapids that the water didn’t manage to swirl- in an almost protective fashion- away from her.
The firebender was not so lucky. Despite entering the water in the same place as Valkyrie, he was drowned or dashed mercilessly against rocks in the cascade. As previously said: miraculous.
Once Valkyrie pulls herself out of the river, Skulduggery’s there to help her up again, and they make it to Omashu just as dawn breaks the horizon.
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Hypothetically, an attack on a child by a member of a covert magical community would incite a very different response from a magical detective than an attack on a child by a member of an overt magical community. As such, the matter of being assaulted by a fireball-throwing maniac is not beyond all understanding.
Valkyrie tells her parents about it. Skulduggery does not stop her.
There’s no (hypothetical) experience of hundreds of years of living in the shadows that might make him inclined to hide things from Desmond and Melissa. As they sit in the chambers Desmond inhabits while overseeing the Omashu earthbenders’ construction work, Valkyrie wrapped in blankets on the couch, her parents on either side of her facing Skulduggery, he tells them what he suspects: that the people trying to hurt Valkyrie are connected to Gordon’s death. More attacks are likely until whatever map these people are looking for is found.
Skulduggery doesn’t think Desmond and Melissa themselves are in any danger; by heading for Omashu they seem to have thrown off anyone on their scent, if anyone ever was. Besides, it was Valkyrie who inherited Gordon’s possessions, not her parents.  
To Desmond and Melissa it seems pretty clear that all three of them need to stay in Omashu until Skulduggery can sort this out. To Valkyrie, it seems pretty clear that her brief taste of adventure is going to slip through her fingers unless she does something. So, she insists on going to Ba Sing Se with Skulduggery.
There are protests. Many of them. She argues that it’s the sensible thing to do: if people are after her, then it won’t take them long to find her in Omashu; it’s right next door to Uncle Gordon’s place, after all, and then that would put her parents in danger, not to mention anyone else nearby. So the best (she carefully avoids using the word safest) thing to do is stay with Skulduggery, who has already proven adept at getting them out of life-threatening situations. Besides, if Gordon was murdered, she wants to make those responsible pay for it.
The argument about the (implied) safest option for their daughter is most effective on Desmond and Melissa. Both of them are scared at the notion of Valkyrie being in danger, and rightly so. Desmond’s mind is already on track to wondering if his family’s Air Nomad blood has somehow been discovered by the remnants of Mevolent’s fanatics; Skulduggery mentioned that he believes Nefarian Serpine, Mevolent’s former governor of Ba Sing Se, to be the culprit. While neither Desmond nor Melissa are entirely at ease leaving their daughter’s safety to a firebender, Skulduggery has made a far better impression than he would have during, say, a highly tense conversation a few years down the road in which they discover he’s been working with Valkyrie in secret.
Skulduggery- taking into account the determined glares Valkyrie keeps shooting him which quite plainly state that she will be tagging along on this, as a stowaway if need be- admits that she has definitely proven herself capable of keeping up with him and handling herself if necessary. If Desmond and Melissa agree to it, he’ll acquiesce to taking her with him to Ba Sing Se, the most fortified city in the world.
It is amazing the favours having a face will do for him. Desmond and Melissa Edgley say yes to their twelve-year-old being taken on a murder investigation joyride.
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How do they get from Omashu to Ba Sing Se within a reasonable time frame? Well, they have a dragon on loan, of course.
That night, Skulduggery calls (messenger hawks) in a favour from some friends of his, only referred to as the Sun Warriors. Valkyrie rolls her eyes at his mysteriousness, but on the inside she can’t stop beaming. She goes to sleep that night and dreams of the movement of firebenders in the sun.
The next morning, a great friendly black reptile arrives and waits for them across the great stone bridge to Omashu. Sleek coal-like scales adorn the creature’s serpentine body, and wings of the night itself protrude from his back. Golden tresses of hair sprout from his face and elbows, and line his back in a ridge. Shining tendrils like a moustache curl and shift like tentacles on his snout. The gold snatches of fur only serve to accentuate the dragon’s fierce yellow eyes- not slit-pupilled, but quite human really.
He’s called Ben. Short for Bentley. Yes, Skulduggery does give Valkyrie an enthusiastic Bentley-speech. His apparent command of (or at least buddyship with) such a creature further cements Desmond and Melissa’s ever-positive view of him.
‘This is the first dragon of the Eastern Isles to be born in over a hundred years, one of the last dragons alive in the world today. He has an eighty-foot wingspan, razor-sharp talons, eyes that can pinpoint a black hawk in flight at night, and intelligence advanced enough that he can understand most of human speech. He is the hope of an almost-extinct species, a fierce friend, a bit of a rascal, exquisitely stylish, and can flame a target from a hundred and fifty feet. We can cover half the continent in less than a day on his back, and the Earth Kingdom shouldn’t even shoot us down this time. I think they know me by now.’
Some of the awe taken out of the moment, Valkyrie would have been happy with, ‘It’s a dragon.’
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By midnight, they are safely landing in the midst of the multitude of twinkling lights making up Ba Sing Se’s Middle Ring. Valkyrie can hardly contain her excitement: she can feel the thrum of millions of people around her, so many more, so much closer together, than in Omashu, and even at this hour the Impenetrable City is not quiet. Also unlike Omashu, the streets are all on the same level and far more cramped, the cobbles older and less maintained, and mysterious men in green robes, dark armour and wide hats pulled low over their faces lurk on the edge of vision: the Dai Li.
From school Valkyrie knows Ba Sing Se’s Inner City is divided into three walled rings, with the Earth King’s palace lying at the centre. Despite the city’s many glowing lights, appearing from above almost like a second golden-starred sky, the darkness obscured where exactly in the city they landed. Leaving Bentley to frolic in a park, Skulduggery takes Valkyrie to see some people…
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China is entrancing, while Ghastly is wary. Valkyrie is dumbstruck: she’s met plenty of former soldiers with scars from fighting, but none like this man. He quite reasonably questions the decision to bring a twelve-year-old onto the case, and he knows Skulduggery much better than Valkyrie’s parents do. The phrases ‘out of danger’ and ‘Skulduggery Pleasant’ do not belong together.
The visit to Ghastly’s shop is to stop by, say hi, and commission some protective clothing for Valkyrie. She is initially reluctant: it sounds as though they want her to walk around in some sort of armour, and Valkyrie prefers clothes that are light and breathe well. Even winter oilskins make her hesitate, though she can’t explain why. Ghastly assures her that that won’t be a problem.
It isn’t. The clothes he makes for her are the best she’s ever worn. Despite Ghastly’s clear reservations, she can see he genuinely cares about her well-being; the bruises around her throat may or may not be sending his response into overdrive.
China’s library is an elegant wrought-metal monument to the limits of delicate smithery: Valkyrie has never seen such intricate shaping before- although in Léi such artwork isn’t exactly common. Shining metal adorns every surface, even weaving through the shelves and covers of books. The stunning woman they find in the midst of it all is no less exempt from the beautiful finery, wearing it on her arms, her clothes, her sculpted shoes, and even in her hair and ears. She greets them both with poise, grace, and welcoming familiarity, which Skulduggery ignores in favour of cutting abruptly to the chase. This amuses China, and Valkyrie can’t help but like her; she does however catch something in the woman’s eyes that is sharp like flint.
China tells them the rumours she has heard about Serpine’s target: the Sceptre of the Spirit World. According to legend the artefact was imbued with a vast amount of spiritual energy, energy harnessed to be used against humans, and which was incapable of harming beings from the Spirit World. Skulduggery and China are both certain it’s only a myth. Skulduggery decides to find out some more about it anyway.
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They retire for the night, planning to turn to the Earth King for more information in the morning.
Skulduggery’s house is, surprisingly, not in the Upper Ring, where all the nobles tend to reside. Valkyrie assumed that as the Fire Nation’s Special Envoy, and the Arbiter of All Nations to boot, he would have a reasonably cushy station, but she supposes that his humbler Middle Ring abode makes it easier to blend in; subterfuge must be a part of being an arbiter. Although, it’s hard to see how good Skulduggery is at this when a dragon sleeps curled around his house.
By the morning’s light, it is astonishing to see how packed Ba Sing Se really is. Greeted by the cacophony of the bright, clamouring, bustling, busy morning, it’s quite the contrast to be permitted entry through the vast golden gates into the Earth Kingdom Royal Palace. By comparison to the streets outside, this area is deserted.
It’s as if the entire city has been starved of the spaciousness and serenity used in constructing these grounds. Miles of flat light stone pave an endless expanse populated by the occasional squadron of attentive soldiers before Valkyrie and Skulduggery reach the massive steps leading up to the palace. At the top of these is the gargantuan building. Perched on the seismically scaled red walls swoop the sharp curves of tiered golden roofs, and the massive green and gold stone seals of the national emblem adorn the outside. There is no mistaking this dwelling for belonging to anyone other than a king.
While the sight from outside is breathtakingly grand, Valkyrie becomes sour at the reception. No one sees the Earth King according to their own schedule. After being kept waiting in an antechamber for more than an hour, they are admitted to a secretary. After another hour, they are ushered into a waiting room, to wait. Skulduggery is impressed at the lightning pace today.
Finally, Earth King Eachan Meritorious and his retinue enter: Sagacious Tome, the pompous Grand Secretariat, and Morwenna Crow, the commanding Head of the Dai Li. They are all unhelpful and refuse to believe Skulduggery about Serpine ordering maniacs to attack Valkyrie.
Valkyrie knows Serpine’s name from history, as she does Meritorious’. She can neither see why King Eachan doesn’t think Serpine, the man who was governor of Ba Sing Se during Mevolent’s reign, would be up to some bad business, nor why the famed Earth King who was present at the siege and fall of his own kingdom won’t take a possible situation like this seriously. The discussion becomes heated, and ends with a fuming Skulduggery storming out of the palace, no further enlightened. His anger seems to be more than what the encounter deserved.
‘Are you okay?’ Valkyrie asks, a little hesitantly.
At this, Skulduggery seems to catch himself. His frustrated pacing on the palace steps slows to a halt, his stance loosening much quicker than she would have expected. Valkyrie gets the distinct impression that he’s reigning himself in, drawing himself back from a line.
‘Yes,’ Skulduggery answers, in a very calm voice. Slightly more normally, he confides that Meritorious never believes him when he brings up Serpine’s activities.
‘He doesn’t? That doesn’t seem very responsible. Or kingly.’
‘Yes, well. He thinks I’m biased.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I am, I suppose.’
Into the silence, Valkyrie says, ‘Well, I believe you.’
He tilts his head in mild surprise and smiles with more warmth than he’s shown so far. ‘Thank you.’
Valkyrie’s increasingly low opinion of the Earth King is reinforced in the next minute.
Yes, it has been iterated over and over in school that the Dai Li’s betrayal of Morwenna Crow during the war was not the king’s fault; it was a product of the whole system’s failure. The palace spent too much effort examining the war and not enough thinking about what was happening with its own people, a mistake which has been studiously corrected. This is stressed over and over in schools around the Earth Kingdom. But in the more distant southerly regions people have more leeway to hang on to such failures.
In Omashu and the surrounding principalities, they have their own king, who is trusted a great deal more than Meritorious.
Mr Bliss is the most powerful earthbender in the world, and Omashu was happy to elect him as their king after the war, even if it was Meritorious who volunteered him. Valkyrie never expected to see the living legend walking up the steps towards her, but then again she never expected to stand in front of the Earth King or the leader of the secret police either. She finds him just as scary as the stories say.
He and Skulduggery talk like they know each other well. Old war… well, if not friends, at least colleagues. Mr Bliss doesn’t seem like he has friends. He tells Skulduggery that he is right about Serpine, and that the Earth King is becoming too focused again: he is narrowing his gaze on affairs of state, revelling in peace. That is why Bliss is here, to convince King Eachan of the situation brewing. Mevolent’s old forces are on the move. Bliss is gathering his own allies in preparation.
Never let it be said that Mr Bliss doesn’t take an active role in his subjects’ well-being. He is, after all, referred to as ‘Mr’ rather than ‘King.’
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If the palace too was a dead end, then where can they find information about the Sceptre of the Spirit World? Skulduggery has an idea. A place buried out in the Si Wong desert: the Spirit Library.
‘You’ve been there before?’
‘No, but I’ve seen it, albeit from a distance. Ghastly, a few others and I got lost in that desert once and came across it. We didn’t go inside, of course. We weren’t stupid.’
‘Why would it have been stupid to go in?’
‘Apparently there’s a great big owl spirit inside who’s not very nice to visitors.’
‘Not very nice like the Earth King, or not very nice like the guy who tried to kill me?’
‘Second option, I’m afraid. There’s a reason people have left it buried.’
‘Oh great. Ohhh great. That really fills me with confidence, that does. It bodes so well. Spirits are never good news.’
‘You don’t have to worry. It’s a library! The books are made for reading.’
(In the end, they are chased by a giant owl. It is not fun.)
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Bentley flies them, guided by Skulduggery’s fairly rusty directions. He was lost when he found the place, after all. Valkyrie feels the wind that they surf on and knows she’ll never get tired of it.
The great buried library is silent, creepily so. They enter through a rope lowered down into the only part of the library that isn’t buried in the vast sands: the topmost tower. Valkyrie is told to wait on the window ledge outside in the heat. Reluctantly she does, staring down into the depths as Skulduggery takes their rope and lowers himself to the bridge, below which level upon level of the place descends into darkness, all packed with corridors full of bookshelves. It’s quite the sight. Quite vertigo-inducing.
Skulduggery touches down. He takes a few steps forward and almost immediately an owl five times as tall as he is with black feathers and a booming, ancient voice swoops up out of the depths, landing between him and the rope in a clear, threatening message. Wan Shi Tong, the spirit of the library, has revealed himself, and is, to say the least, uninclined to allow any humans to peruse his shelves, lest they try and use what they learn for violent purposes like all too many have.
‘Violent? Me?’ says Skulduggery.
‘If you’re going to lie to an all-knowing spirit being, you should at least put some effort into it,’ Wan Shi Tong responds, swiftly extending an inscrutable avian face on a lengthy neck down to Skulduggery. He doesn’t back away.
Taking this as her cue to enter, Valkyrie drops down the rope, landing behind the owl. She gets a brief glimpse of white feathers like a second set of eyes on the back of Wan Shi Tong’s head before it swivels one hundred and eighty degrees towards her and fixes her with a stomach-dropping stare. Skulduggery quickly darts around the spirit to stand slightly in front of her, a hand closing over her forearm from behind his back. The owl examines them both.
‘We come in the spirit of peace,’ Skulduggery tries again. ‘Of… bridging the gap between worlds. You have my word we won’t abuse your library.’
The owl’s fathomless eyes peer at him. ‘Hmmm.’
Something significant appears to be passing between the two of them, but whatever it is, Wan Shi Tong does not seem convinced. Skulduggery’s hand tightens on her arm.
Valkyrie offers a trade of information. She tells Wan Shi Tong one of her family legends: that a dark spirit possessed her great-grandfather for years during the Hundred Year War, enabling him to train the Avatar better and fight back against the Fire Nation all the more fiercely. Her bloodline was supposedly forever tainted with the power he wielded.
Wan Shi Tong is dismissive of the legend, as any reasonable person knows that spirits have not possessed people in millennia. It is an unfounded prejudice which is still held up in the way humans continue to take new names to ward spirits away. Put out, Valkyrie doubles down on their claim of peaceful intentions, then adds that if during their search he becomes suspicious of them, he can always just kill them. It’s not like they have much of a chance against him, after all.
‘True,’ he agrees, and allows them entrance.
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A fox guides them to the books on spirits. They read about the Sceptre: it is only able to change owners through death; it ‘sings’ in the presence of enemies; it cannot be wielded against spirits; and it is most assuredly real. It has been used throughout history to take power, to harm people- and Serpine will add his name to those ranks unless they find it first.
Unfortunately, Wan Shi Tong hears this, completely fails to understand that they want to stop people from getting hurt, and the aforesaid owl-chase begins.
They leave the library unscathed, if a little sooty. Wan Shi Tong deemed saving his books from destruction by a wildfire more important than chasing them. Valkyrie would feel disapproval of Skulduggery’s tactic there, if it were not for the fact that they were both alive because of it. As they fly away on Bentley, the enraged screeches of Wan Shi Tong are accompanied by a great rumbling, and the Spirit Library sinks fully into the sand.
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Skulduggery shares with Valkyrie his theory: the map Serpine is intent on finding must be the map to the Sceptre, and a map must be necessary because the Sceptre must be hidden in the best hiding spot Gordon had access to: the Cave of Two Lovers. They decide to go snoop around Gordon’s mansion for the map. Going into the caves without it is sure to be a death sentence.
On the way, Skulduggery asks Valkyrie more about her family legends, since he never heard Gordon speak about them. Obligingly, Valkyrie unloads all of them onto him. Her family has always been very leery of letting anyone know about their airbender heritage, but Skulduggery has made quite an impression. She laments that she’s not a bender despite being of a ‘varied background’ like Skulduggery. Skulduggery tells her about not knowing he was a bender until he was her age, despite having grown up in a family full of them who all found out when they were much younger. This brightens her up a bit: there’s still a faint chance she could be one.
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They search Gordon’s mansion to no avail. His study is full of many things, but a map of the Lovers’ Cave is not one of them. Dismayed, Valkyrie heads back outside, to find, when she opens the front door, a man.
He has dark hair and darker green eyes. She notices red fern-like scars on one of his hands, visible between the gap of his expensive sleeve and glove.
There’s a rush of Skulduggery’s footsteps behind her, and suddenly she’s in the middle of a firefight at her uncle’s house for the second time in as many days.
Serpine has had the same idea as them: to search Gordon’s place for the map, and he brought much more back up than they did. They are cornered on her uncle’s porch, surrounded on all sides by firebenders, things are moving too quickly, and then lightning flickers from Serpine’s fingers, fierce and unstoppable and blinding in the dark night. Skulduggery shoves Valkyrie to the floor before being blasted off his feet.
As her hearing comes back, Valkyrie hears Bentley roar from the midst of a contingent of Serpine’s followers. She sees Serpine sedately go to collect Skulduggery’s unmoving form. There’s a large mechanical locomotor nearby that they must have used as transport. Serpine uses Skulduggery as a shield so Ben can’t charbroil him as they board. Ben isn’t exactly trying however, having his claws full protecting Valkyrie from all the firebenders Serpine brought along.
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After the attack, Valkyrie is left alone in the mountains, far from home, with no one to call for help. Whatever will she do?
HAH. She has a freaking dragon. First step, sending a message via said dragon to Ghastly Bespoke, Ba Sing Se, that Nefarian Serpine has captured Skulduggery Pleasant. Step two: follow the locomotive.
It’s achieving this second step that immediately becomes the difficulty. Valkyrie’s just sent her locomotive-chasing steed away to Ba Sing Se. Skulduggery told her that Bentley knows Ghastly, so she’s confident that he will reach him. She, however, is stuck with no way besides her own two feet to follow the machine. With no other options, she takes off on foot, following the tracks north-west. Even in the dark, the deep ruts are not difficult to distinguish.
Funny story: a certain someone is on her way to Omashu at Mr Bliss’s request and runs right into Valkyrie- almost literally, had it not been for the quick reflexes of her ostrich-horse.
The woman who almost trampled Valkyrie is young, with blonde hair cut sensibly short, a serious set to her face and an even more serious set to the sword she carries. She’s dressed in green robes that are tied at the front with a cord, and despite a certain hardness to her eyes that shouldn’t belong on someone barely into their twenties, she smiles easily and has a readiness for action that Valkyrie admires. She introduces herself as, of course, Tanith Low.
They get on that locomotive.
They get off that locomotive plus one (very surprised, lightly charred) Skulduggery, enemy firebenders none the wiser.
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Valkyrie catches her breath, heart racing and unable to keep a broad grin off her face as she stares at the dwindling dark mass of the all-terrain locomotive chugging away into the distance. She actually did it.
Beside her, the strong woman with the sword on her hip, Tanith, nudges her. ‘Nice work,’ she praises.
‘Well, I did my best,’ Skulduggery answers from Tanith’s other side, where she is supporting him.
‘Not you,’ says Valkyrie.
‘Ah, you’re right. Tanith, your ostrich horse is most impressive for keeping up the way it did. Good boy,’ Skulduggery corrects himself, stroking the tired, panting creature fondly, before flashing a grin back at Valkyrie. She huffs and holds the ostrich horse still while Tanith helps Skulduggery off its saddle to sit on the ground. She hears him give a sharp hiss and her faux grumpiness vanishes.
‘Are you okay?’ she asks worriedly, seeing Tanith go still for a moment.
‘Well, I’d rather not try to walk any more than I have to for the next few hours, but on the whole, I’ve been shot with worse lightning,’ Skulduggery tells her lightly.
By what light she can, Tanith examines him beneath the charred remains of his shirt. Underneath Valkyrie catches sight of many burns, almost glowing red in the moonlight. What makes her pause though is the large, star-shaped scar at the centre of Skulduggery’s chest. It looks old, and like it didn’t heal easily.
Tanith is frowning as she checks his burns. ‘The worst of it missed your heart, which is the important thing.’
‘That is pretty important,’ Skulduggery agrees.
‘But that doesn’t mean you got off easy. Hold on, I’ve got some bandages- but I’m assuming you’re more versed in treating burns than me?’
Skulduggery nods. ‘Thank you. There’s not much to be done right now, but if you have any water I’d appreciate it. Lightning strikes tend to dry me out.’
Tanith and Skulduggery’s calm and pragmatic attitudes are off-putting in a way Valkyrie can’t explain even to herself. She just feels jittery and sick, and it must have shown on her face.
‘He’ll be okay,’ Tanith reassures her with a smile that seems only a little forced, unrolling a length of clean white cloth. ‘The damage is only skin deep, nothing major.’
‘We don’t have any medical supplies…’ Valkyrie starts.
Skulduggery shakes his head, brushing it off. ‘I don’t need any. Some water, some rest, and I’ll be fit as a firecracker in no time, just wait and see.’
‘Skulduggery, you were struck by lightning.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘But-’
‘Tanith, tell her I’m fine.’
‘I’m with Valkyrie,’ Tanith mutters, grimacing as she begins to wrap his middle. Skulduggery gives her a look. She brightly adds, ‘But you will be fine, yes.’
Unconvinced, Valkyrie takes the waterskin out of one of Tanith’s saddlebags and passes it up to Skulduggery, only to catch him looking at her with a strange expression on his face.
‘What? What is it?’
‘Nothing. I really am fine, thank you. And thank you for coming to save me. I can honestly say that I did not expect that. It was very brave of you.’
Valkyrie feels her mouth twitch into a grin. ‘When have I ever done something you expected?’
He laughs.
After a few hours of thinking and riding, Skulduggery works out where the map is.
֍
Fergus and Beryl are not pleased to be woken at such an early hour. Valkyrie can’t say that she’s all that happy to be seeing them either after an entire night of alternately walking and riding an ostrich-horse, but the excitement of finding the map, scrawled in Gordon’s field journal, bequeathed to the Toxic Twins, tossed carelessly in a corner of Carol’s room, stolen by Valkyrie, quickly infects her. She, Tanith and Skulduggery head for Omashu, reinvigorated.
֍
They meet Mr Bliss in the mountains. He betrays them. The subtle clue is in when he tries to bury Tanith in a rockslide, and pushes Skulduggery off a cliff.
The rumbling ceases. Valkyrie stares in shock as Mr Bliss turns to her. When she starts to run, there is a great boom behind her as the earth launches Mr Bliss into the air to land right in her path. She skids and lands on her backside, and Mr Bliss simply takes the map from her. The shock gives way to outrage, and she demands to know why he’s doing this. She receives the depressing answer that he wants to be on the winning side: Serpine’s side.
When he has rumbled away on a hill of earth, Valkyrie scrambles to the avalanche site only for Tanith to push her way out the top before she can help, dusty and bruised but otherwise unharmed.
They turn to the cliff. Fortunately, there’s a fjord at the bottom. Skulduggery is soggy and angry by the time Valkyrie and Tanith find him.
Valkyrie’s hopes of having a rest are dashed. With no other choice, they head towards the Cave of Two Lovers. Fortunately, it’s within riding distance.
‘Let me get this straight. We want to navigate through the Cave of Two Lovers, find Serpine and all his firebenders, stop him from taking the Sceptre, and find our way back out again, all without the map?’ Tanith asks in disbelief.
Skulduggery considers. ‘Yes,’ he decides. ‘Yes, I think so. Does that sound right?’
‘Sounds right to me,’ Valkyrie shrugs with a grin.
֍
Tanith turns to Valkyrie outside the cave, keeping her eyes on the entrance. It gapes wide and dark, and although the paved road inside is flat and smooth, its forbidding nature is not dispelled in the least. ‘You were reading Gordon’s journal on the way to Omashu. Did it have any advice on how to navigate through?’
‘It said something about letting love light the way,’ Valkyrie responds, also watching the dark. ‘The legend said that the two lovers who first found their way through would extinguish all their lights and trust in their hearts to guide them to each other.’
‘A knack that would be handy if Serpine was at all lovable,’ Skulduggery comments. ‘As it is…’ Fire flares in his hand. ‘…we’ll have to see how far our tracking abilities can take us.’
There are no dangers in the Cave of Two Lovers besides the natural hazards of the dark. At the present time, this includes firebenders.
They catch up with Serpine just as he finds the Sceptre. It is hidden in a magnificent tomb, where Oma and Shu were left to rest side by side. Grand staircases lead down to the lovers’ coffins, on which engravings detail their story, and the walls depict it in images.
Now, the quiet dark is thrown into unwelcome firelight as Serpine’s followers swarm all over the place, standing guard while the man himself reverently raises the Sceptre of the Spirit World from its resting place atop one of the stone coffins.
Tanith and Skulduggery instruct Valkyrie to stay back while they take on Serpine’s forces, and, predictably, she does not. She skirts sneakily around the edges of the melee instead, eyes fixed on Serpine as Skulduggery closes in. Fire flashes, lighting up the dark sporadically. During the fight, the Sceptre briefly falls within her reach, and remains silent; for some curious reason, it doesn’t warn Serpine of her presence.
Valkyrie cannons into Serpine as he scoops the Sceptre back up and aims it at Skulduggery. The dark crystal, so deeply purple as to be almost black, unleashes a powerful lance of violet energy which goes wide, striking the cavern wall. There’s a momentary pause.
Serpine has claimed the Sceptre, and his forces outnumber them. Skulduggery, Valkyrie and Tanith retreat, running in darkness because any light would make them an easy target. Sprinting headlong into pitch black that may or may not conceal a cave wall takes a lot of nerve, and Valkyrie’s the only one who feels something change- the breeze maybe- as a blocked tunnel looms out of nowhere. She grabs Skulduggery and Tanith before they run face-first into it, and they try and find another way out: any way will do at this point, Serpine can’t be far behind… but he is far enough behind such that the firebenders’ light is extinct. Above them, a glow glimmers: phosphorescence shows them the way.
Valkyrie’s jaw drops. ‘But the notes said they trusted in love!’
‘I don’t know about you, but right now I love those crystals,’ Tanith says, taking off again.
They reach daylight just ahead of their pursuers. For the second time, Skulduggery hauls Valkyrie out of the way of a lightning blast and sets to work blocking incoming bursts of fire. Serpine and his forces close in… and are driven back by a wave of rolling earth.
Bentley lands before the uprooted grass and rocks, Ghastly and China on his back.
‘Get on!’
As China calls out the order, she leaps off the dragon and puts her back to Skulduggery’s. They both cover Valkyrie and Tanith, China pulling a wall of earth out of the ground to shield them while Skulduggery takes over offense. Valkyrie catches Ghastly’s hand and feels Tanith give her feet a boost, and once they’re both aboard Bentley, Skulduggery whirls in a circle.
China follows his movements like they’ve done this a million times before, lifting the rock wall and knocking it back at their attackers while Skulduggery sweeps his leg around and sends a clean wash of fire across the ground below it. The firebenders are all forced backwards. Skulduggery shouts for them to take off as he jumps for Bentley, catching China’s hand and hauling her up after him.
‘You haven’t lost your touch,’ compliments China, catching her breath. Her eyes are alight.
Skulduggery brushes soot and dirt off his charred clothes. ‘My touch for fighting or escaping?’
‘For angering dangerous enemies.’
‘You say that like you expected otherwise,’ Skulduggery says with a wry grin.
֍
It is only once they are in the air that Valkyrie notices the dragon’s beautiful black scales are covered- all over- in hideous yellow dust. It smells like curry. Apparently by the time Ben made it to Ba Sing Se, Ghastly wasn’t at his shop, and the dragon subsequently tore through the downtown market stalls in the attempt to track his whereabouts: he found China instead.
Normally, China would have been happy once finding Ghastly to send him on his way alone, but he called in… an old debt she owed him. Neither say what it was, but it was apparently enough to convince her to lend her help. Valkyrie, not having any reason to think otherwise, finds herself liking China even more, regardless of everyone else’s reservations.
‘And so the market stalls are how he got spices all over him?’ she asks, trying valiantly to rub the awful yellow stuff off the sleek glossiness underneath. She can accept that excuse. It was only an accident.
‘Oh no,’ Ghastly says dryly. ‘As we left, he saw the spice carts coming into the city and decided, despite the urgency of the situation, to beat his wings and fly through the ensuing cloud.’
Valkyrie then notices that China and Ghastly also have traces of yellow on their clothes and skin, but they, being sensible people of good taste, have done their best to remove it. At Valkyrie’s dismayed expression, Skulduggery nods and pats Bentley’s hide ruefully.
‘He likes being colourful,’ he explained. Bentley wiggles happily in mid-air.
֍
The Earth King is not pleased, but he somehow manages to avoid admitting that it was his mistake to disregard Skulduggery’s suspicions. Kings don’t apologise. They move on, and expect everyone to follow in their wake.
It isn’t clear why the Sceptre never reacted to Valkyrie’s presence. After their visit to the Spirit Library in which Wan Shi Tong disabused Valkyrie of any fanciful notions of ‘tainted blood’ causing the Sceptre to overlook her, Valkyrie has no explanation to offer either. Regardless, Meritorious considers her a valuable asset to have, despite the pompous reservations voiced by Sagacious Tome. Valkyrie is not only permitted to continue being part of the affair, but practically enlisted.
China, considering her debt to Ghastly settled even in the face of Ghastly’s clear disagreement, heads back to her library to begin organising her affairs in preparation for a war. Valkyrie is more than a little surprised and disappointed at this action, but China is not swayed. Skulduggery takes the opportunity to instil in her the lesson that China Sorrows cannot ever be trusted she is only ever self-serving never put your life in her hands she will betray you nod if you understand Valkyrie.
Reluctantly, Valkyrie does.
֍
That last encounter with Pleasant was too close a call for Serpine to allow again. He needs to distract the arbiter. Fortunately, Serpine is well-versed in how to do that. As a bonus, that niece of Edgley’s was getting on his nerves anyway.
֍
After the Earth King and his war council has made their preparations and given Skulduggery, Ghastly, and Tanith assignments, the four of them make their way through the palace, heading for the exit and listening to Skulduggery as he thinks aloud about what Serpine’s next move will be. He has the Sceptre, but what does he want it for? Mevolent’s goal was to spread the influence of the Fire Nation across the whole world, but Serpine doesn’t have the Fire Nation to use as a starting point. The only thing he’s ever ruled in fact is… Ba Sing Se.
A blank-faced man in white robes under dark armour is waiting for them in an anteroom. There are no guards in sight, and they can’t remember passing any in the hall for a while either. The assassin carries a scythe. Under the low-pulled hat, his focus is fixed on Valkyrie.
The others attack, but the man has a surprising trick: he gets a jab into Skulduggery’s inner shoulder, and the flame he was summoning extinguishes immediately. Skulduggery grimaces and tucks the arm in close until he can regain use of it. His and Ghastly’s stances grow a little warier.
‘Chi blocker,’ Valkyrie hears Tanith mutter.
Despite apparently having no bending of his own, the man is more than a match for Skulduggery, Ghastly, and Tanith. His scythe meets Tanith’s sword at every turn, and his durable armour is more than capable of withstanding not only Ghastly’s punches but the lumps of stone he bends his way- although it is rare that the assassin cannot cleave, dodge, flip, or somersault away from them. His feet are as sure as ever even when the ground underneath him tilts or becomes awash with flame. Skulduggery continues with hand-to-hand attacks, getting in so close that using any firebending would be almost suicidal, but he still has his work cut out stopping any more of his limbs from being deadened or severed.
When Skulduggery shouts at Valkyrie to run, she does, but the fight follows her.
The White Cleaver almost reaches Valkyrie. It takes Ghastly collapsing the roof of the chamber to shake his attention. Chunks of brick rain down around them. Without her coat, Valkyrie would have been hurt far more than the mild bruising she sustained. She, Skulduggery and Tanith make it out just in time.
Ghastly doesn’t.
His eyes are closed and Valkyrie keeps shaking him, but he won’t wake up. He’s bleeding- in a lot of places- but still breathing. There’s rubble strewn everywhere. Skulduggery is hauling Ghastly onto his shoulder and Tanith is urging them to move. The White Cleaver emerges from the dust-filled ruins of the room behind them.
֍
Meritorious, walking with Morwenna Crow, hears fighting in the halls of his palace. Serpine is inside. The coup is taking place now. Before the Earth King can summon the Dai Li to his aid, a blast of purple energy vaporises him.
֍
Several halls away, the palace administrator makes it to the mews and scrawls a frantic note for the nearest bird he can reach before he too is killed. The iguana parrot takes off.
֍
Serpine’s plan is a simple one: massacre everyone. The power of the Sceptre is incredible, and allows him easy destruction of anyone he wants. Should there be a powerful object that would allow him control over all the people in the city, its hypothetical equivalent in this world is the throne of Ba Sing Se.
Using loyalist forces leftover from Mevolent’s Fire Nation, who have been in hiding for almost thirteen years, awaiting their chance to strike, Serpine leads them into the palace via a secret entrance revealed to him by Sagacious Tome. Tome’s eagerness to lay his hands on some real power goes wasted, Serpine killing him right after the Earth King and Morwenna. He has no further need of the advisor.
The next step is to eliminate the counterforces that will inevitably be deployed. All the loyal palace guards have been decimated, and the not-so-loyal ones in the pocket of Sagacious Tome now answer to Serpine.
Once the palace has been cleared, Serpine sends out the majority of his soldiers to manage the guards on the Outer and Inner Walls. The remaining Earth Kingdom soldiers will assume places outside the palace, deterring anyone from entering.
֍
The halls of the palace are chillingly silent. Valkyrie runs through them with Tanith and Skulduggery, her breathing seeming too loud, her footsteps too heady. Ghastly’s limp hand sways with Skulduggery’s motion. Bodies are abundant throughout the corridors. The coup was swift and merciless.
Ghastly shouldn’t be moved, but he shouldn’t be left alone either. They find a room with a lockable door and lay him gently on a pristine sofa that is quickly dirtied by the dust and blood. Valkyrie kneels by his side. He’s still breathing- faintly.
Skulduggery is dead set on killing Serpine ASAP, while Tanith wants to contact reinforcements. She is a seasoned fighter, but out of her depth; she is too young to have been a soldier in the Hundred Year War, and has never dealt with situations like this. Frustrated at Skulduggery’s iron refusal to compromise or listen, she hisses some things. Things that reference the war. Valkyrie doesn’t understand some of it, but she can piece together what ‘maybe you want to join your family’ in this context means. She feels the blood drain from her face and isn’t sure if she’d prefer Skulduggery to shout over the stillness he’s now adopted.
They both catch their breath. Tanith doesn’t agree that either of them are at all prepared to face Serpine when he has the Sceptre, but the only other feasible option is splitting up, which is undoubtedly worse. As it is, they don’t know the full extent of the coup, or what is happening in the city. Reinforcements may not be available.
With a much cooler head, Tanith can see that Skulduggery’s plan is as good as any they have. It’s a concession he’s lucky to have under the circumstances, so he accepts it. She also points out that Valkyrie is the only one who can sneak up on Serpine, so leaving her with Ghastly isn’t an option either. Skulduggery reluctantly agrees. After barricading Ghastly in the room as best they can, they head out.
Valkyrie feels a shift in the air over her shoulder. She rolls out of the way of the White Cleaver’s absolutely silent approach, Tanith draws her sword, and suddenly splitting up is the only option. The chi blocker settles into his stance. Fortunately, Tanith has no bending he can take away.
֍
Serpine is in the throne room, standing at ease in the middle as he contemplates the gold-plated seat atop the stairs. The Sceptre is held loosely in one hand- easy for her to take. Valkyrie’s palms start to sweat. Whatever Skulduggery has told her to do if things go south, she knows the only way she is leaving this room is with him.
Valkyrie Cain, it has been an absolute pleasure knowing you.
Her shoes aren’t sturdy boots, as favoured by so many. She doesn’t like heavy clothes. Her shoes are soft, and light. Sometimes she scares her parents by unintentionally being too stealthy when she walks into a room. They’ll turn around and there she is…
Serpine turns around. The Sceptre lights up. Valkyrie dives, rolls, spins and brings up a hand-
The Sceptre flies out of Serpine’s grip, skidding across the room, borne on a gust of wind.
Well.
Isn’t that a surprise.
Skulduggery crashes into Serpine with elbows and fists before he can react. The two firebenders fight, and it’s instantly clear who is the better combatant. Valkyrie thinks it’ll be over easily, when-
The floor spirals open beneath Skulduggery. He falls through, and it slams shut over him just as quickly.
Mr Bliss walks into the room. Before Valkyrie can process what happened (is he dead, is he dead, did Bliss kill Skulduggery), or that she’s now very alone, a known airbender with one of Mevolent’s generals, Serpine is ordering the King of Omashu to kill her.
‘Where’ve you been?’ Serpine snaps, wiping blood from his face.
‘I was delayed.’
‘I’m sure. Well, if you want to reap any rewards after tonight, you’ll have to display some of that “legendary” strength. There’s one more adversary to deal with.’
‘You want me to kill an unarmed child?’
‘I want you to kill an unarmed airbender.’
Valkyrie stares into Bliss’s cold blue eyes and waits for the floor to open up and swallow her whole, just like it did to Skulduggery. Instead, a ton of ceiling slams down towards Serpine… who is already rolling out of the way, coming up onto one knee, two fingers pointing at Bliss, lightning exploding into the space between them. Bliss is thrown off his feet and doesn’t get up.
Serpine, whose movement took him to the Sceptre, stands with it in hand. He turns to Valkyrie, a cruel smile on his face, taunting her as he closes in.
Then the floor cracks open again and Skulduggery wrenches himself out. Serpine snarls a curse at Bliss’s unmoving form, and the fight begins anew. Skulduggery refuses to give Serpine even a second to bring the Sceptre to bear, driving him backwards. He doesn’t firebend, and doesn’t need to, working only with his fists and knees and elbows. This seems to infuriate Serpine further. Skulduggery slams him against a pillar, and places him under arrest. Serpine laughs, inexplicably, viciously, head shaking and eyes burning.
‘I will always find a way to make you suffer!’
The hand holding the Sceptre is pinned out of the way so it can’t be angled at Skulduggery, but Serpine isn’t looking at Skulduggery. He twists his wrist, and Valkyrie feels her blood turn to ice as she looks into a purple glow.
The beam never comes. The crystal shines like a firefly and refuses to let loose. Serpine screams his rage, and Skulduggery wrests the Sceptre from his grip, half-turning to toss it behind him. Valkyrie shivers, and operating on instinct, makes a move that sends a strong breeze spinning the weapon further away. She looks up to find Serpine white with fury. In the instant before Skulduggery pins his free hand back in place, Serpine shoves him off and time slows down.
Crackling blue-white light is summoned out of thin air. Its tendrils are drawn to a point and extend along the line set by Serpine’s fingers, pointed straight at her. But the view is eclipsed. Skulduggery was already in motion. His feet are sure as he throws himself in the line of fire, his stance as confident as if he’s done this time and time again. The arcing, sparking, icy fire snakes from the tip of Serpine’s fingers and meets Skulduggery’s… and then blossoms around him in a flashing cloud of electricity, booming back along Skulduggery’s other hand, straight at Serpine.
Valkyrie blinks the searing afterimages out of her vision just in time to see Serpine’s body slump to the ground.
Skulduggery turns around and asks if she’s alright. She stares at him. His clothes are smoking faintly.
Running footsteps from the corridor herald the arrival of a flood of Dai Li.
‘Just in time,’ Skulduggery sighs.
They assess the situation efficiently and effectively, helping Mr Bliss up and checking Serpine is dead. China Sorrows enters the room. She smiles and folds her arms.
‘You’re not dead. Well done,’ she praises.
‘Not for a lack of trying,’ Skulduggery murmurs. He seems a little shocked (no pun intended) to Valkyrie.
֍
It transpires that a message was sent out to Mr Bliss during the coup. China’s people, who were monitoring Bliss’s residence in Ba Sing Se for any sign of his return, intercepted the distinctive iguana parrot and alerted her to what was happening. She raised the alarm to the Dai Li agents in the city and the soldiers on the walls, who were ready for Serpine’s forces when they made their move. She did this not, China assures them, out of the goodness of her heart, but in order to avoid a total collapse of the resources and influence she has amassed since the end of the Hundred Year War, a fate which would surely have befallen her had Serpine come to power so soon. Whatever her excuses, Valkyrie grins broadly; without China, two of her friends would be dead, and many more people besides. Even Skulduggery doesn’t try to distance himself from her that night, although he does seem rather preoccupied with his own thoughts.
Other notable occurrences of the night’s events: Tanith and the White Cleaver half killed each other during their duel. The White Cleaver went missing in action before China and the Dai Li arrived, but Tanith, along with Ghastly and Bliss, was hurried to healers as soon as she was found. While Tanith and Bliss are expected to make full recoveries, Ghastly’s injuries were incredibly extensive; he remains in a coma, and is fortunate to be breathing. Skulduggery says he’s survived worse though, so Valkyrie tries to keep her hopes up.
The most important take-away from all this is that Valkyrie is an airbender. This is incredible news to everyone around. As soon as Bliss is well again, a flurry of action rises up around her. Valkyrie was confirmed as a non-bender as a child, but as Skulduggery vouches, those tests aren’t right one hundred per cent of the time. Bliss decides that she must be trained, and once the next in line for the Earth Kingdom’s throne is crowned- a cousin of Meritorious named Thurid Guild- this matter is one of the first brought to his attention.
Waiting, strained, in Omashu, Desmond and Melissa Edgley receive word that their daughter is safe and sound, the crisis is over, and that they are invited by the Earth King himself to attend the celebratory welcoming of a thought-to-be-extinct race of benders back into the world: otherwise known as the official presentation of Valkyrie Cain, the First Airbender, to the nations.
Well, that’s the years of the Edgleys hiding their heritage over. Desmond can’t say he’s entirely sorry, not when his daughter is so excited and happy and protected.
Despite knowing that King Thurid is mainly doing this for the good PR value, which shows that Ba Sing Se has quickly recovered from the mishap and is looking forward to leading the world in a new era of recovery brought on by her own self, Valkyrie is indeed overjoyed. She loves airbending. It comes easily and naturally to her, something that she’s felt has been part of her life for so long which has now unfolded to reveal its potential.
The trouble is, there’s no one to teach her. The Edgleys lost their cultural records of the Air Nomad practices, customs, and teachings long ago, while hiding and on the run. China has nothing, nor does the palace, and the Spirit Library is not even to be thought of after Skulduggery’s actions the last time they were there.
There is good news, however. Skulduggery’s background means that not only is he well-versed in all kinds of bending, but he is also one of the only self-taught benders in the world. There weren’t many firebenders willing to teach the enemy their tricks during the war, so he had to figure it out himself. He knows how to start from scratch in these matters. Furthermore, as an Arbiter of All Nations it’s his job-
(‘Technically?’ Valkyrie asks.
‘Literally,’ he replies.)
-to act on behalf of and in the interests of all nations. All the nations want Valkyrie trained. If she’ll have him, he offers himself as her airbending master.
To Valkyrie’s utter delight, he’s got the job. Not only because there’s suddenly a talented young airbender who no one else knows what to do with, but because no one is going to tell Skulduggery Pleasant what his specific duties entail.
Valkyrie notices, in the days after the coup, that people, old friends apparently, often come to talk to Skulduggery. Their conversations are quiet, and she usually only catches bits and pieces. There’s the general impression that they’re checking in on him, making sure he’s alright. She supposes she hasn’t really known him long enough or well enough to make judgements of her own, but their presence does encourage her to notice some of the silences he retreats into on occasion. Eventually, she asks him if he’s alright, to which he replies, with some consideration, that yes, he is. He’s killed the man who murdered his family and tortured him. Skulduggery is feeling a certain satisfaction, it has to be said. He says he’s looking forward to new things now. Valkyrie is too. Together they sit under the stars.
As the parents of the First Airbender, the Resurrector of the Air Nomads, officials fall over themselves to offer Desmond and Melissa housing in Ba Sing Se’s Inner Ring, in addition to places at official functions, etc. The attention is overwhelming, something they have never desired or imagined happening to them. Initially, they are reluctant to accept any of the offers, but, being sensible and practical people, they think it over and realise that Ba Sing Se offers the best resources for Valkyrie’s training and protection, and so relocating to the big city would be in their daughter’s interests. They politely decline the grand offers of titles and seats at functions, and move into Gordon’s villa rather than the grand housing of lords and nobles offered. They do, however, request positions in the city where they can continue their careers and remain somewhat independent, preferring to accept the vast amounts of assistance from the palace only as a last resort. They are not necessarily anti-monarchist, but they are also not blind to the realities of corruption within the Earth Kingdom’s government, and this latest fiasco has not helped any.
Skulduggery’s duties as arbiter do not generally allow him to remain fixed in one place for too long. It’s time for him to head out again, and at queries from King Thurid about what this means for Valkyrie’s instruction, Skulduggery answers that he’ll just take her with him, of course. They’ll head for the Air Temples, and see if they can find any surviving records of airbending.
Guild doesn’t seem entirely happy with that. Valkyrie gets the impression that while he obviously doesn’t want Skulduggery around, he’d rather someone from his own palace was teaching her so that she would remain his PR heaven-send and claim to fame throughout the world in perpetuity: the Earth King overseeing the First Airbender. But, as Skulduggery reminds Guild, he doesn’t have any right to keep her under his jurisdiction. She is not a threat who must be kept under watch, and there is no standing legislature to restrict the movements of airbenders.
Unless they’re the Avatar. Which she’s not. The next Avatar is an Earth Avatar, not an Air Avatar.
So Valkyrie and Skulduggery set off on their journey. Promising her parents she won’t be gone long and that she’ll write often, Valkyrie looks eagerly forward to more adventure. In a matter of days her life has completely turned around- for the better, she believes.
The wind tosses her hair around and caresses her skin, Skulduggery starts joking for the first time in days as they leave Ba Sing Se, and she knows she’s ready for so much more.
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laresearchette · 6 months ago
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AMAZON PRIME CANADA THE BEADS FORGETFULNESS KUNG FU PANDA 4 A SONG FROM THE DARK TODA FAMÍLIA TEM
CBC GEM WE DARE TO DREAM
CRAVE TV BORAT SUBSEQUENT MOVIEFILM THE BOOK OF CLARENCE THE DARK CRYSTAL HOW THE GRINGO STOLE CHRISTMAS MADE FOR TV WITH BOWMAN MARTINEZ-REID MARIE ANTOINETTE MEN IN BLACK MEN IN BLACK II MEN IN BLACK III THE PRINCESS BRIDE QUASI REGINALD THE VAMPIRE (Season 2) THE SERPENT QUEEN (Season 2, Episode 1)
DISNEY + STAR DESCENDANTS: THE RISE OF RED DISNEY DESCENDANTS (Sing-Along Version) DISNEY DESCENDANTS 2 (Sing-Along Version) DESCENDANTS 3(Sing-Along Version) LAINEY WILSON: BELL BOTTOM COUNTRY PROTECTING PARADISE: THE STORY OF NIUE WICKED WOODS: A DESCENDANTS HALLOWEEN STORY
NETFLIX CANADA BLAME THE GAME (DE) THE CHAMPION (ES) EXPLODING KITTENS LOBOLA MAN (ZA)
WIMBLEDON TENNIS (TSN/TSN4) 8:00am: Gentlmen’s Semifinals (TSN5) 8:00pm: Primetime
CALGARY STAMPEDE (SN/SN1) 3:30pm: Rodeo (SN/SN1) 10:30pm: Rangeland Derby
MLB BASEBALL (SN Now) 7:00pm: Yankees vs. Orioles (SN) 9:00pm: Jays vs. Diamondbacks
NBA SUMMER LEAGUE (TSN2) 7:30pm: Rockets vs. Lakers (TSN2) 9:30pm: Hawks vs. Wizards
MARKETPLACE (CBC) 8:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): "Marketplace" goes across the country to find out if Canadians are prepared for a hurricane, talks to residents evacuated due to wildfires and reveals how one province is bracing for an earthquake.
FIRST TIME FIXER (Magnolia Canada) 8:00pm/8:30pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Two sisters team up to salvage an extreme fixer-upper -- a small cottage built in 1900 with a century's worth of rot and decay and a surprise flea infestation; they aim to create a cozy retreat for tourists during the New York autumn leaf seasons. In Episode Two, with three kids and cramped quarters, a couple plan a major overhaul of their outdated Texas home; they hope their budget is enough for an open floorplan, walk-in pantry, state-of-the-art kitchen and a spa-like bathroom.
CFL FOOTBALL (TSN/TSN3) 8:30pm: Stamps vs. Blue Bombers
ABOUT THAT (CBC) 8:30pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Andrew Chang explains the week's news; Canada's auditor general lays out the issues with the ArriveCAN app; disussing if Russia's new hypersonic missile is impossible to shoot down.
THE FIFTH ESTATE (CBC) 9:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Made in Bangladesh: 10 Years Later: In the decade since Bangladesh's deadly Rana Plaza garment factory collapse, promises to improve wages and factory safety have backslid - including by some Canadian companies.
SHARK VS. ROSS EDGLEY (Nat Geo Canada) 9:00pm: Ultra-athlete Ross Edgley pits himself against four legendary sharks.
BORAT SUBSEQUENT MOVIEFILM (Crave) 9:00pm: Released from prison for bringing shame to his country, Kazakh funnyman Borat risks life and limb when he returns to America with his 15-year-old daughter.
ONE WAY MIRROR (Super Channel Fuse) 9:00pm: Police find a man and his parents murdered in their own home; they bring in his brother Grant for questioning; as Grant's recent troubles are laid on the table, he's confronted with the weight of how it all points to motive.
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incorrectspquotes · 2 years ago
Conversation
Crystal: This is just too much. I mean, yesterday my life's like, "Uh-oh, it's Stephanie". Today it's: "Our cousin is a superhero".
Carol: I know. And everyone else thinks it's just a normal day.
Crystal: Nobody knows. It's like we've got this big secret.
Carol: We do. That's what a secret is. When you know something other people don't.
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valkyreicain · 6 years ago
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Wholesome scene from Mortal Coil.
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daughterofhecata · 7 years ago
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Skulduggery Week #1: favourite underrated character [7-11/11]
Shoutouts to a couple of my favourite underrated characters that I didn’t have time to make edits/moodboards/etc for:
ELIZA SCORN
What do I even say about Eliza? She’s badass and I really, really enjoy her existence. (although I’m really cross with her for destroying China’s library)
FINBAR WRONG
Finbar! Finbar is amazing! Remember the time he tattooed someone a sleeping kitten instead of a panther because he thought the panther was too aggressive?
CAROL & CRYSTAL EDGLEY
They had such amazing character arcs? Like, they went from “the evil cousins who bully Stephanie/Valkyrie for being different” to actually sympathetic characters both Val and I really couldn’t hate anymore? And then Carol died, and I was so much madder and sadder than I ever expected.
DUSK
Dusk is another of those asshole characters I really enjoy. Idk man, I can’t even say much about him, I just absolutely love him as a character.
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re-1124c41 · 2 years ago
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ngl this hit me as I started writing Crystal into Roll the Bones and honestly shes just living her secret teenage rebellion by getting pulled into shenanigans with Alice bc she deserves it ✌
The Toxic Twins are 30. Feel old yet?
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samtrapani · 7 years ago
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Skulduggery Pleasant Series : Carol and Crystal Edgley
It takes time for them to grow out their malice, their childish obsessions: Parties that leave them both staggering home, chain-smoking in the bathroom during family reunions, watching dear old Stephanie through hooded eyes across the room.
(There’s so much life in her it hurts- As if she knows something they don’t, something that will make everything seem brighter, even just for a moment. Something that makes their mouths water just to think of.)
It takes them a while to realize that they’ve sharpened their words into twin blades, held by two girls who still can’t escape the last vestiges of all those childhood insecurities, all those little lies.
They cling to each other because there’s nothing else to hold on to. 
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bluseum · 2 years ago
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also why is everyone in the skellington book called [place name] [latin word] [adjective]
Derek very evidently names characters like any good lazy D&D player, random name generators and dictionaries. He doesn't seem to see a problem with
Abyssinia
Adam Brate
Adedayo Akinde
Adrasdos
Adrian Sykes
Adrienna Shade
Ajuoga
Alan
Alan (Boyle Solutions)
Alan Brennan
Alena Metz
Alesha Walsh
Alexander Remit
Alexander Slake
Alice Edgley
Aloysius Vespers
Amalia
Amity
Amity's Wife
Anathem Mire
The Ancients
Anguish
Anna
Annie Brennan
Anton Shudder
Arabella Wicked
Argeddion
Argento
Argus
Armiger Fop
Arthur Dagan
Ashione
Ashley Hubbard
Aspen
Assegai
Category:Assistants
Audoen
Auger Darkly
Aurnia
Auron Tenebrae
Aurora Jane
Category:Australians
Avatar
Avaunt
Axelia Lukt
Axle
Azzedine Smoke
Badstreet
Bagatelle
Baritone
Baron Vengeous
Bartholomew
Basher
Batu
The Beast
Bennet Troth
Benzel Travestine
Bernadette Maguire
Bernard Sult
Bertrand Solus
Beryl Edgley
Billy-Ray Sanguine
Binder Firm
Bison Dragonclaw
Black Annis
Boiler
Brennock
Brides of Blood Tears
Bridget
Brobding
Brock
Bruno
Bubba Moon
Burgundy Dalrymple
The Butcher
Byron Grace
Cadaver Cain
Cadaverous Gant
Caelan
Caisson
Caius Caviler
Cameron Light
Cark
Carol Edgley
Carol Edgley (Reflection)
Cassandra Pharos
Caste
Cathy
Cathy (The Button)
Category:Cats
Cerise
Ceryen
Cerys
Charivari
Charlie Smith
Child of the Faceless
China Sorrows
China's Assistant
China's Grandmother
Chrissy Brennan
Christophe Nocturnal
Civet
Clagge
Clarabelle
Cleaver
Clement Gale
Clerihew Montgomery
Coda Quell
Colleen Stint
Collup
Colm Muldoon
Conor Delaney
Corrival Deuce
Cothernus Ode
Crab
Craddock Sirroco
Crasher
Crepuscular Vies
Creyfon Signate
Crystal Edgley
Cu na Gealaí Duibhe
Dacanay
Daffyd Maybury
Dai Maybury
Daisy
Damocles Creed
Danny
Darian Vector
Darquesse
Dasher
Daveth Maybury
Davina Marr
Davit Maybury
Davon Maybury
Deacon Maybury
Death Monkey
Dedrich Wahrheit
Delafonte Mien
Desmond Edgley
Destrier
Detective Harris
Devoted
Dexter Vex
Dicer
Dima
Dionysus Pertinax
Doctor Whorl
Donegan Bane
Doran Purcell
Dragunov
Dreylan Scarab
Dubhóg Ni Broin
Duenna
The Dullahan
Dusk
Eachan Meritorious
Eamon Campbell
Eamon Pearce
Ed Stynes
Eddie Sullivan
Edgley Tempest
Edwina
Eliza Scorn
Elsie O'Brien
Elwood Satchel
Emmeline Darkly
Emmett Peregrine
Category:End of the World characters
Category:Energy-Throwers
The Engineer
Ephraim Tungsten
Erskine Ravel
Esryn Vanguard
Etta Faulkner
Evoric Cudgel
Faceless Ones
Father Reynolds
Fergus Edgley
Ferrente Rhadaman
Filament Sclavi
Finbar Wrong
Fintan Muldoon
Flaring
Fletcher Renn
Flint
Forby
Frightening Jones
Gall
Gary Price
Gavin Praetor
Ged
Category:Generals
Geoffrey Scrutinous
Gepard
Gepard Voke
Geraint Mizzle
Gerontius
Ghastly Bespoke
Ghastly Bespoke's father
Ghastly Bespoke's mother
Gladys
Glass
Gleeman Shakespeare
Gordon Edgley
Grace Kelly
Gracious O'Callahan
Graft
Gratio Erato
Gregory Castallan
Gregory Day
Greta Dapple
Griff
Grim
The Grotesquery
Gruesome Krav
Habergeon
Hansard Kray
Hapathy
Harmony
Hayley Skirmish
Hidalgo Bolt
Hieronymus Deadfall
Hoc
Hokum Pete
Hollow Men
Hopeless
Horts
The Hound
Hrishi
Hutchinson
Ian Moore
Ieni
Illori Reticent
Imogen
Infected
Isara
Isidora Splendour
Ivy
Jack Irons
Jackie Earl
Jajo Prave
James Hubbard
Jaron Gallow
Jason Randal
Jasper
Jenan Ispolin
Jeremiah Wallow
Jerry Houlihan
Jerry Ordain
Jethro
The Jitter Girls
Johann Starke
Joost
Kaiven
Kallista Pendragon
Kalvin Accord
Karrik
Kase
Kathryn Ether
Keir Tanner
Keith
Kenny Dunne
Kenspeckle Grouse
Keratin
Kes
Kierre of the Unveiled
Kiln
Kimora
Kitana Kellaway
Korb
Kribu
Krull
Kumo
Laken Cross
Lamour
Lapse
Larks
Larrikin
Lenka Bazaar
Levitt
Liam Muldoon
Lightning Dave
Lillian Agog
Lily
Lord Vile
Lorenzo Mult
Lorien
Luciana
Luke Skywalker
Madame Mist
Madcap Fenton
Magenta
Mahala
Maksy
Mandat
Mantis
Martin Flanery
Master
Maverick Reels
Melancholia St Clair
Melissa Edgley
Mellifluous Golding
Memphis
Mercy Charient
Merriwyn Hyphenate-Bash
Metric
Mevolent
Midnight Blue
Militsa Gnosis
Minion One and Minion Two
Mirk
Misery
Miss Nuncio
Moloch
Moribund
Mortal
Morven
Morwenna Crow
Mr Chou
Mr. Bliss
Mr. Fedgewick
Mr. Jib
Mud
Mulct
Murder Rose
Muriel Hubbard
Myosotis Terra
Myra
Myron Stray
Nathanial Quiver
Nefarian Serpine
Nero
Nestor Tarry
Never
Nixion
Nj Maverick
Noche
Noonan
Nye
Oberon Guile
Oblivious
Obloquy
Octa Gregorian Boona
October Klein
Odetta
Ogre
Oisin
Omen Darkly
Operative
Oscar Nightfall
Owen
Palaver Graves
Parthenios Lilt
Pat Hanratty
Patrick Slattery
Patrick Xebec
Paul Lynch
Paulie
Peg Muldoon
Pennant
Persephone Grief
Pete Green
Petrichor
Phil Lynott
Philomena Random
Ping
Portia
To name a few
26 notes · View notes
facelessxchurch · 4 years ago
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Semi live-blogging my reaction to the preview of the Grimoire (pages 1-42, which cuts off in the middle of the summary of book 1).
Highlights include butchering the occult, the Cthulhu mythos, and the name of the ‘Sceptre of the Ancients’ black crystal changing from ‘hirranian crystal’ in DoA to ‘katahedral crystal’ in the Grimoire.
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Foreword. Is he really straight up trying to shift the blame on his editors while staying in character?? As if this mess isn't his fuck up too.
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In case it wasn't clear enough that even the fucking lore-book/compendium revolves around Skulduggery, the intro makes it more than clear lmao. Also, the character writing the intro is such a mood and probably mockingly based on Tumblr-
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So far the beginning letter, the forward and the introductions are just wordy versions of this meme
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Like, Landy, his editors, everybody involved in this book, they know this is a burning dumpster fire and you can't well me otherwise xD if it wasn't so sad it would be funny.
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In real life 'witch' is a gender neutral term actually. Nice going reinforcing common misconceptions.
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  ...did he make 'warlock' the male version of 'witch'? wat
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  he keeps flip-flopping between the Faceless Ones being fuckable and being unfuckable sTOp bEInG a CoWARD, LanDY- 
this part is from the 'Book of Tears' so at least this confirms the Faceless worshippers are monster fuckers-
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*"Short of an an enemy", I assume (p.23)
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I feel like the 'second bloodline' is Skulduggery's family? Bc saying it was cut short in the war seems too specific to not be a character we are meant to know and I wouldn’t be surprised if Landy forgot Skul’s older brother is alive now. A separate post about Sera having FO blood is gonna follow soon .3.
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I straight up can’t tell if he’s trying to make this Lovecraftian or if this is meant to be a parody of the Cthulhu Mythos.
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ya really be introducing an entirely new faction and cult of people(/species?) that have never shown up in the main books before? Really?
flesh 👏 out 👏 the 👏 shit 👏 ya👏  already 👏 got 👏 first 
 I wanted a chapter on witches and their magic and not a short definition gdi
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Skulduggery only realised the brooch was the key while he was imprisoned by Nef
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(this is while Valkyrie and CO. free Skul from Nef’s dungeon; book 1, chapter 17, page 93)
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This would be the perfect spot to add an illustration of the sigil (and the incantation).
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In DoA (chapter 105, page 487) the crystal was called ‘hirranian crystal’ and not ‘katathedral crystal’.
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“little Valkyrie” lmao what the fuck, where did this cringe come from all of the sudden?? Her first name was inspired by Wagners “The Ride of the Valkyries”. How did he fuck up this badly??
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(chapter 10, page 32)
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Here he just corrected his own mistake from earlier but didn’t remove the earlier part??
The part about ‘why would Edgley leave the key with a woman he barely liked’ should be moved down here to keep events in chronological order.
27 notes · View notes
meeedeee · 5 years ago
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Skulduggery Pleasant Audio - The Series
Fandoms: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Ghastly Bespoke/Tanith Low
Desmond Edgley/Melissa Edgley
Beryl Edgley/Fergus Edgley
Skulduggery Pleasant
Valkyrie Cain
Valkyrie Cain's Reflection
Ghastly Bespoke
Tanith Low
Nefarian Serpine
Desmond Edgley
Melissa Edgley
Mr. Bliss (Skulduggery Pleasant)
Eachan Meritorious
Morwenna Crow
Sagacious Tome
China Sorrows
Gordon Edgley
Fergus Edgley
Beryl Edgley
Carol Edgley
Crystal Edgley
White Cleaver
Horror
Murder Mystery
Angst and Humor
Supernatural Elements
Family Loss
Partners in Crime
Fist Fights
Crime Fighting
Kidnapping
Rescue Missions
Vampires
Action/Adventure
Undead
(Feed generated with FetchRSS) source https://archiveofourown.org/works/24211549
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sp-fanclub · 8 months ago
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