#crying on the floor (pt.2)
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deus-ex-mona · 2 months ago
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monachan haul has arrived ✨safely✨
#ft. the gigo collab merch that i had proxied s o b s#‘how many albums did you buy m y g o s h’ j-just these 3…#thanks delivery guys for not notifying me when haul pt 2 was delivered lmao now my mother’s mad at me for not showing her what i got :(#‘just show her man’ d u d e she’ll lecture me about wasting my money— wait nvm i’ll show her my lls gk dvd that came in maybe that’ll help#im gatekeeping monachan from my fam idc if we’re related y’all c a n ’ t have her#b u t on another note the mona album standee looks really cute beside the new sena natsukomi standee#mona looks taller than sena in it but they just. look really cute next to each other aaaaa#though. yk. speaking of the gigo merch and stuff… man. i think i went to that arcade last year lmao#i didnt go up to the floor with the food and stuff since i was only there to play crane games and i was too lazy to climb the stairs#but seeing posts about the collab reminds me of the 1000 yen i spent trying to get ena pjsk nui in the mzen crane machine#i had. like. 4000 yen at the time and around 1/4 of it went to that machine… never forgive never forget#‘why didnt you withdraw more money then’ w e l l the debit card was with my bro and i broke off from the family to explore by myself s o—#and that was how i spent my birthday last year. on the 4th or 5th (cant rem) floor of gigo trying in vain to get enananui#that doesnt have anything to do with monachan but i needed to cry about it somewhere ig lmfao#m a n. what am i even doing with my life lmao#o k that’s enough of being annoying for one night see y’all for daily nagisa in a few hours byeeeeeeee
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dirkxcaliborn · 2 years ago
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I keep poly-shipping and then being upset there's no content... or worse, someone wrote it but they wrote it wrong
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qwimchii · 1 year ago
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i was hoping to put forward a request, if that’s okay? 👉🏻👈🏻 angst (or hurt/comfort?) and smut with ghost? and i’m totally not projecting here but — reader has a hard time finishing, either by themselves or with someone? and when they’re with someone, they get so worried about taking too long and not being able to finish or even feeling good and they apologize for taking too long and it dissolves into them crying and apologizing more and mentioning how they think they’re broken and there’s something wrong with them and it kinda makes them think ghost will leave for someone else because that’s what everyone else has done and basically just ghost being soft and sweet and understanding and taking his time with reassurance and praise and yeah… gonna go hide now 🥲
𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 — 𝘚𝘪𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘙𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘺
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𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘹 𝘤𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘯!𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 — 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘣𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘸𝘤 — 5k
𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦 — 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵
𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴/𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘴 — 𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘵, 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘥𝘰𝘮!𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵, 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬, 𝘤𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘴, 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺, 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵/𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵, 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘰𝘯, 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘵 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥…
note: omllllll!!!! 💞 i am so sorry for taking so long to write this request but this is so sweet and cute 😭 thank you sm for requesting!! ><
pt 2, pt 3
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Simon Riley had been your boyfriend for maybe a month now. or maybe two weeks. or maybe three months, you decided finally, sipping your water with closed eyes, willing the frustrated bounce of your knee to settle.
of course, picking your head up and looking at the entrance of the restaurant one last time, that frustration redoubled, and you watched your knee bounce with a mind of its own.
setting the drink back on its coaster, you drew random patterns into the floral tablecloth with a pout. Simon had chosen this restaurant. Simon had initiated communication with you—mindblowing as it was—just last night when you were scrolling through instagram in bed. 
the notification had ballooned over a post of an old friend from college traveling in europe, and immediately, you had squealed, pressing your phone to your chest to stop the race of your thrumming heart. you made yourself count out two minutes—at least two, before you responded.
— Dinner tmrw at the diner on 6th ave?
— sure!! good to hear from you :))
— what time??
— 7.
it was curt, it was short, it was sweet, but it gave you all the motivation you needed to power through the day and weasel your way into the diner, earlier to the occasion than usual. now, it was half past seven. now, you were playing with the tablecloth of the booth and feeling stupid and sorry for yourself.
stupid because you had sorely missed Simon since he went radio silent for over a month. sorry for yourself because you had thought you were at least close enough for him to text you beforehand.
definitively, you knew you had met the brit five months ago when he moved into the empty apartment adjacent to your own. he crowded every entrance he stood in, so massive and hulking when the elevator doors that you startled with a squeak, dropping the cardboard box and all the items scattering out over the carpet floor.
you had flushed with embarrassment, whole body heating up as you scrambled to stuff all the items back into the box with a string of apologies. he had dropped to your side without a word, putting back a pair of socks, your old band t-shirt from high school, and tennis shoes that had gone gray with discoloration. he hadn’t even bothered to one-over your personal items, but you were scrambling for an explanation anyway.
“donations for vets,” you said with nervous laughter. “i donate every year.”
“vets?” he reiterated, and you looked up into his face, eyeing the black surgical mask on his face carefully, brown eyes a murky kind of gray-ish beneath blonde eyebrows and his hood drawn up above that. 
“mhmm,” you squeaked, suddenly wary of the stranger in front of you.
when he said nothing more, you asked him, “any veterans in the family?”
then he just stared at you and you blushed, feeling stupid for saying anything at all but—
“my grandfather,” he said slowly. “and my great grandfather.”
“nice,” you choked out, unsure what to say as you searched the carpet of the last of your remnants.
then, he added, “i’m in the military as well.”
just when you were about to bolt, intimidated by the sheer size of him and his eerie unfamiliar presence in your apartment complex, it was like he read your mind to introduce himself.
“Simon Riley. new neighbor.”
you nodded slowly, giving him your name back and edging your fingers under the cardboard box, heaving it up into your arms.
“nice to meet you,” you said, giving him a weak smile from over the top of the box. he tilted his head at you, eyes flitting from the box to you.
when a prolonged silence ensued, you turned on your heel and stepped toward the elevator before you jerked around again.
“thank you for your service,” you squeaked, scurrying toward the elevator and feeling awkward when he just watched you from the hallway. you waved as the doors closed, watching him slip his hands into the pockets of his jeans. 
with one long look, he turned and prowled down the hallway.
that was five months ago. two months later, after endless awkward encounters of wordless greetings with him, the plumbing in your bathroom sink had exploded, flooding the floor in a puddle of water and spraying over the front of your white dress.
in a panic, you went to your next door neighbor Simon who opened the door upon your third set of rapid knocks.
you looked up to his massive form in the entrance, suddenly aware of how the front of your soaked dress had become sheer when you asked him to help you. 
he helped. and then you asked him to get drinks at the bar around the corner as a thank you. then when that became a regular occurrence, things just got more confusing.
it felt exclusive. maybe. you thought it felt exclusive when a man approached you in the bar, gearing up for a casual conversation with a sly smirk, but Simon was always at your back in an instant, a large, warm hand on your waist and his words in your ear.
she’s taken.
your mind spun after the first time it happened. taken?
whirling around on your heel after the man left with a low grumble and scowl, Simon just blinked down at you from behind his surgical mask, squeezing your waist with both hands before he was sinking back down into his seat, hulking as he leaned over the bar.
when the same happened a few more times, you didn’t question it, thinking it was maybe just a perk of the friendship. he staves off a couple creepy men at the bar and you pay for drinks. 
or at least that’s how you thought it worked until he started sliding his card across the counter to the bartender to claim the tab before you could even get a word out.
you were especially confused when he knocked at your apartment door one night. you opened it to find him void of the hoodie usually slung up and over his head, blonde hair hanging down his forehead, and a black shirt in its place. that’s when you saw the thick black ink winding down the tattoo sleeve of his arm, and your eyes darted over it with a blush, before you were inviting him in.
he had smelled something baking, he clarified, craning his neck into the kitchen. that made you giddy because you hadn’t taken him for someone nosy, but you entertained it nonetheless, assuming he just had an insatiable sweet tooth for cookies.
another part of you hoped he just had a sweet tooth for you.
then the baking became a regular occurrence. you’d bake him all sorts of sweets while he watched you from the little table in your kitchen, staring from behind that black mask of his while you prattled about your day and he took it all in silently. somewhere along the way, after so many nights of him chewing behind the mask, he ditched it completely, and you could watch him devour your brownies in a few bites without the annoying fabric in the way.
the new schedule had become very regular until it was baking night and he didn’t show up to your door. rolling the tenseness from your shoulders, you sent him a quick text, saying you would bring over the sweets in the morning to his apartment.
when he didn’t respond to that, a little nervous bubble of anxiety rooted in your chest. you found out from your landlord days later that Simon would be away for work, and that hurt more than you wanted it to. if he had taken the time to at least notify your landlord, he could’ve done the same for you… couldn’t he?
unless he didn’t think about you that way. but you were so sure—from the quick glances you shared, his gentle touches as he brushed past you in your kitchen, or the possessive grip on your waist at the bar, or just the way he was so relaxed around you meant something.
those were your thoughts that ran in circles as you sat at the diner booth. the waiter checked on your table every once and a while, sending you nervous glances ever since you said that you had a date… or a friend. or something like that.
you felt stupid for accepting Simon’s proposal so quickly, even after he had ghosted you for weeks. even then, you had dolled yourself up anyways, picking out the new dress you got last weekend and doing your hair and makeup. you buried your face in your hands, not looking up when you heard the chime of the diner opening.
when you heard a familiar, low and grating accent, your head snapped up to see Simon standing by the entrance and talking to the waiter, gesturing to you as the waiter just nodded.
Simon strode over to you, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder and dressed in his military fatigues, half his face behind in a black surgical mask.
you couldn’t help the gasp that escaped you when you reached your senses, heart soaring as you scrambled to stand. your hands twitched against the table when he stopped in front of you, dropping his duffle bag to the floor.
had he come straight from the airport? for you? you felt like your mind was spinning, but you forced it to still, desperately not wanting to jump to any strange conclusions…
swallowing down your thoughts, you said slowly, “it’s been a while.”
looking up into his murky brown eyes had never been so comforting.
“it has,” he affirmed, hands clenching and unclenching by his sides.
for a long moment, you both just stood there in silence, staring at each other and unsure what to do.
eyes darting down to his torso, you could feel the warmth of his body in the close proximity, and you felt so tempted to just touch him.
you outstretched a hand to brush over his clothing, and when he didn’t move away, you pressed your knuckles into his abdomen, amazed to feel him solid and real. then you wrapped yourself around his torso, giving him a tight hug, cheek pressed against his strong chest.
immediately, he engulfed you, squeezing you back.
“missed you,” you admitted, screwing your eyes shut.
you felt his nose press into the crown of your hair. “m’sorry m’late, love.” 
“s’fine,” you sniffled, feeling stupid when tears pricked up in your eyes. when you pulled back, you swiped at them with the back of your hand, startled when he reached forward to brush his fingers across your wet cheeks, squishing the chub of your face lightly.
he looked at you with such a softness that you almost melted, feeling nervous because you had never seen him look at you like that before.
then, as you both slid into the booth, you chided him in between sniffles, “don’t do that to me again.”
don’t leave me in the dark again, was what you meant, and you knew he understood what you meant when he nodded curtly.
the dinner went smoothly. more than you could imagine. or maybe you were just overwhelmed with the exhausting joy that Simon was still just the same since before he left two months ago—lowly grunted non-verbal responses as he munched on a platter of fish and chips, stealing a couple of your fries after he devoured his plate at a startling pace, and some rumbles of half-sentences, leaning on his elbow as he watched you ramble with excitement and sip on your milkshake every now and then.
when you accidentally got a smidge of whipped cream on your nose, he reached across the table to wipe it off, cutting through your words mid-sentence. you thanked him with a blush, shifting over the booth, just blushing harder when your shoes knocked against his under the table.
leaving felt smooth too—walking back to the apartment complex just a couple blocks away. even in the darkness of the night, you felt safe tucked near his side, enjoying his presence so close to your side and feeling disappointed when you reached the hallway you shared in the apartment complex.
he stopped by your door and you fumbled with your dress, struggling for words.
“come inside,” you offered, though it sounded more like a plea. your eyes flitted from his face to the duffle bag on his shoulder, hands twisting into the fabric of your dress.
“i know you must be tired but—”
“m’not,” he assured, squaring his shoulders. you nodded dumbly.
“i can bake brownies?” you squeaked, and he blinked down at you.
“s’reason why i’m here, love.”
at that you blushed, opening the apartment and throwing your jacket on the couch, moving to rifle through the kitchen.
“it won’t take long i promise,” you called from behind the fridge door, snatching the butter and eggs from it.
closing the door to turn to the counter, you jolted when Simon materialized beside you, boots, mask, and the jacket of his fatigues off, reaching above you to open a cabinet. your eyes darted over the ink designs of his muscled arm.
“flour and sugar’s here, right?” he asked, and you squeaked a yes, ducking beneath his arm to put the butter and eggs on the counter before grabbing a mixing bowl and baking pan from a lower cabinet.
once all the necessary items were strewn across the counter, you measured out the dry ingredients, dumping them into the mixing bowl. beside you, Simon leaned back against the edge of the kitchen sink, arms crossed as he watched you.
you were hyper-aware of his presence, hands jittery, confused because he always sat at the kitchen table to watch you. he never got this close and personal, uncrossing his arms to slide a hand over the counter right by where your hip leaned against it.
from your peripheral, you glanced at him, finding him already staring down at you.
“can i help?” he asked, voice gruff, and you turned your head to stare at him in dismay. this was new. very new.
“sure,” you choked out, scooting over so he could help you measure out the ingredients. he filled the space easily, arm pressed against yours in the little space.
you blushed. this was very very new.
he cracked an egg on the edge of the bowl, and you watched the yellow glop plop into the flour.
playing off the whole situation as a joke, you laughed nervously as you mixed the wet ingredients into the bowl. “miss my baking that much?”
you bit down on your lip, unable to look at him, just focusing on the churn of brown batter in the mixing bowl. when you felt him lean in, his strong bicep against yours, you muffled a yelp.
“‘course.”
“really?” you asked, pouring the batter into the greased up pan.
for good measure, you dipped a finger into the batter and tasted it, eyes flickering up to Simon. it was sweet.
he stared down at you, an imperceptible, dark look on his face as he leaned over and dipped his thumb into the batter, then swiped the gooey brown substance over your cheek.
“oops.” there was a smugness in his voice that his face smothered, expression blank when he gripped your jaw tight. 
you gasped when he turned your face and leaned down to lick you.
the textured muscle of his tongue pressed into the curve of your flesh, licking away the sweet taste from your cheek.
then, he leaned back with a hum. “i like sweet things.”
you clutched at his wrist keeping your jaw firmly in place, wide-eyed and heart beating out of your chest. you watched his finger dip back in the batter and reached up to your lips, spreading the sugary sweet batter over your lower lip.
you squeaked, unable to look anywhere but his bare face, rugged and handsome in the low light.
“may i?” he asked, eyes flitting down to your lips, and you couldn’t even nod in his hold, just a low, breathy yes on your lips that he swallowed, tongue sucking the traces of batter on your lips. 
you whimpered into his mouth, clutching at his shirt as he angled your head with a soft touch, sliding his hand on your jaw to your neck, just resting there. that spurred on a familiar burn in your stomach, and you squirmed in his hold.
when he leaned back, you were breathless and panting with flushed cheeks.
“sweet,” he rasped, like he was approving the taste as he licked over his lips.
from that point on, you didn’t really remember how you got to your bedroom, Simon’s hands edging up the hem of your dress beneath him, knuckles drawing a warm trail up to your hips as he sucked on the skin of your neck.
the only thing you could do was whine and squirm under his weight, legs and arms pinning you down as he did what he liked, giving you sweet kisses that made you feel all hazy.
you watched his head dip beneath the fabric of your dress and you gasped when you felt his lips against your thighs, skipping where you needed him most, and then against your stomach and the flesh of your breasts.
and all throughout the pleasurable haze, your fingers curled into the sheets, nails digging into the bed because you were beyond nervous.
you knew this would happen eventually���that Simon would end up in your bed or the other way around. kissing him was a dream. having him caging you against the bed with his heady weight was a dream.
sliding a hand over his back, his rushed movements slowed against your skin, taking the time to suck carefully around your pebbled nipples that had your hips bucking up with a whimper.
your mind spun. but you were so nervous.
it was all you could think about as he descended back down between your thighs, both of his big arms curling around your thighs to lock you in place against the bed.
words rung your mind loud and clear—what the hell is wrong with you?
when Simon dipped a thumb beneath the top of your panties, the words shook you again.
what the hell is wrong with you?
you hadn’t even noticed how still and quiet you had grown until his head perked up between your thighs, pupils blown wide. he swiped a thumb over the soaking entrance of your panties, drawing a whimper from your throat.
“what is it?” he asked, voice so throaty and rough that you shivered with want. you had wanted this for so long.
“nothing,” you whispered, tugging his head back down between your thighs, but he didn’t budge, frowning at you.
“tell me,” he probed, “m’not touchin’ you if you don’t, sweet thing.”
sweet thing.
swallowing hard, you shifted against the bed. “m’just nervous.”
“yeah?” he stroked the plush, soft skin of your inner thigh, before pressing his lips to it. “don’t worry. i’ll make you feel good.”
you nodded, biting down on your lip, though his words didn’t quell any of the raging anxiety thrumming within your chest, even when he kissed the wet fabric stretched over your cunt, nosing through your folds and his hot breath against you.
lifting up your hips with ease, he tugged a pillow beneath you.
“comfy?” he asked, hooking two fingers beneath your panties and sliding it down your thighs.
“uh-huh,” you gasped, back arching when he ducked between your legs and pressed the pink muscle of his tongue flat against your cunt.
“good,” he grunted against you, pecking your swollen clit before swirling his tongue around it, and building a steady, delicious pace that had you hiccuping moans.
your hands snaked through his hair, gripping the blonde curls tight and pulling, startling when he groaned in response, the tremors going straight from the back of his throat and into your clit.
you ground against his face and he purred in approval. “tha’s it, sweet thing.” 
you took the pleasure and rode it, pushing yourself further and further to the edge, or at least you thought you were, seeing no end in sight for the sensations wracking your body. every passing moment felt too long, and you could practically feel the irritation roiling off Simon in waves.
even though you couldn’t see his face, just could hear his soft noises of approval against your cunt, it was like you knew he was growing impatient.
frustrated, you huffed a whine, that anxiety in your chest squashing half the pleasurable experience. he reached up and pressed down on the lower part of your tummy, intensifying it all over again, making you gasp as your head fell back.
“relax,” he mumbled, playing with your clit as he pressed his tongue into your cunt, humming as he tasted you.
it was overwhelming. too overwhelming, and you couldn’t help the tears that pricked up in your eyes as you were torn between finishing and feeling good and pleasing Simon and���
a little sob broke from your throat, and he went still between your legs.
you covered your face with your hands, digging your palms into your eyes and muffled the sounds falling from your lips.
why were you crying?
brows pinched together, you scrunched up your face. “sorry, sorry, just keep going—”
you cut off when a sob choked your throat, refusing to look at Simon and withering when he stayed silent, feeling really fucking stupid as you just cried in the bed.
“i don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you whimpered, feeling him tug your dress back down over your thighs and hike your panties back up your hips.
you expected him to leave, ready to feel the weight of him against you on the bed disappear, and his heavy footsteps through the apartment, then the slam of the door behind him.
and you did—the dip in the bed lifted and you heard his footsteps edge around the bed.
then, you gasped when he slid into the bed beside you, arm circling beneath your waist and pulling you flush to his chest, breath right against your ear.
“what’s wrong, sweet thing?” he sighed, though it didn’t sound irritated, just tired as he sunk into the bed beside you.
your breath stilled, the cries dying in your throat as you twisted to look back at him. his gaze was soft as he peered over your shoulder, squeezing you between both arms.
“what?” you croaked, and he leaned over you to press a kiss to your cheek, squishing you into the bed.
“what’s wrong?” he repeated, thumb drawing circles against your clothed tummy.
“nothing,” you said, and he made a low noise of disapproval, pressing his face against the side of your head.
clutching at his arms holding your waist, caging you to him, you choked out the words. 
“i just…” you turned your head from him, tears spilling from your eyes and onto the sheets. “i wanna be good for you.”
he hummed against your ear, squeezing you tighter. “you are so good for me, love.”
“no, i meant…” you huffed, sniffling with a frustrated sound in the back of your throat.
“i take too long,” you squeaked, avoiding his eyes. “there’s something wrong with me.”
a sob pierced your chest. “i think i’m broken.”
you turned in his arms and buried your face in his chest, embarrassed as you soaked his shirt with tears, muffled the sharp noises of your throat against his solid body. he curled around you, hand rubbing down your back.
“who put those ideas in your pretty head?”
his voice was deceptively soft, though you heard the threat that lay under it, and you shivered.
“my ex boyfriend.”
his body went tense against you.
“look at me luvie.”
you lifted your head and let him kiss you, tasting salty and sweet from the slick of you still in his mouth, as he brushed away the tears on your face.
when he pulled back and you looked over the curves of his face, the depth of his dark eyes, you admitted to him softly, “i don’t want you to leave me.”
it was such a small whimper that you don’t think he would’ve heard you, but from the way his face crunched into a frown you knew that he had.
“m’not going anywhere,” he promised, pushing the hair from your forehead. “m’right here.”
you whimpered, pulling him back down for a kiss that was wet and hot, teeth knocking against yours when he pressed you further into the bed.
“lemme make you feel good,” he whispered, and you clutched at his arm wound tight around your waist, the other creeping up to cup your breast.
“please,” you whimpered, and he hummed into your lips.
“when’s the last time you touched yourself?” he asked, lips trailing down to your neck, his large hand edging down to brush over your pelvis.
“long time,” you squeaked, gasping when his hand snuck beneath your dress, rucking it up so it pooled around your waist.
“c-can’t do it myself,” you admitted, screwing your eyes shut when his fingers slipped beneath the band of your panties. “doesn’t feel good.”
“yeah? bet your ex couldn’t make you feel good either,” he mumbled, either to you or yourself you couldn’t tell, mind dizzy and somewhere up high when his forefinger gently brushed over the shell of your clit. “bet your he didn’t even know how to touch a woman. how to make her cum.”
you whimpered, hips bucking into his hand, and you could feel him smile against your neck.
“s’okay, baby. i’ll make you cum.”
his fingers circled your swollen clit, other hand fondling the sensitive plush of your tits. as you squirmed against his touch, little breathy noises leaving your lips, you could feel his hard cock pressing into the curve of your ass. you whimpered at the sheer size of it.
“please, Simon,” you gasped, clutching at his wrist as he played and flicked at your clit, speeding up then slowing down and dragging you through a slew of different body wracking sensations, leaving you so whiney and sensitive that your thighs started to shake and twitch.
your ex boyfriend had never given you so much attention like this—just honing in on his own pleasure, degrading you when you tried to chase your own. it became something you dreaded. something you didn’t want and forced yourself through, faking orgasms and artificial, pitched moans.
it was so different from Simon that you felt delirious, blissed out as real, loud whines broke through your throat, riding his hand just wanting more and more.
“more,” you sobbed, burying your face into the sheets, jolting when he played and pinched at your swollen nipples.
“want you to cum on my hand first, sweet thing,” he whispered, and you almost cried real tears.
he huffed a laugh into your ear.
“feel that good?” he cooed, and you nodded against the sheets, wiggling your hips in his hand.
“c-can’t,” you whined, shivering when he made a noise of disapproval.
“yes you can,” he said, low and throaty, licking over your ear. “i don’t care how long it takes, baby. i can play with this pretty cunt all night.”
you moaned, grinding down into his hand, eyes rolling back into your head as he abused your clit, crushing it beneath his fingers.
“you’re gonna cum on my hand, and then i’m gonna stretch you out with my fingers, yeah? then you’re gonna cum on my fingers, and i’m gonna fuck two more orgasms out of you. how does that sound, sweet thing?”
“Simon—” you choked, whole body going still when you finally reached a sharp peak, shaking and twitching and moaning softly through your whole orgasm that made you see a blinding white.
he groaned in your ear, so filled with pleasure it sounded like he came alongside you.
“there you go, baby, good girl. so good f’me.”
your hearing felt muffled when you resurfaced, blinking your eyes open, sleepy and muscles lax against the bed. he was petting at your naval, peppering little kisses and kitten licks along your neck and shoulders.
“see? that wasn’t so hard, luvie,” he whispered in your ear, making a shiver slither down your spine.
“mhmm,” was all you could get out, pliable as he slipped from your side and moved you to your back, tipping your knees open as he dove between your legs.
you looked down, watching him drink up the cum from your pussy, slurping loudly and sucking on your twitchy clit, your hips squirming in his hold. 
“so sweet,” he practically growled, and you whined in response, trying to push his head away.
when he finally relented, he sat back, licking over his lips before tugging the shirt over his head. in the dim lighting, you could see scars littered over him, naval blessed with dark hair and a toned stomach that made your mouth water.
“think you can do that four more times, baby?”
when you shook your head, he only smirked, crawling back over you and pressing the crotch of his fatigues against your sopping pussy, grinding his painfully hard, big cock against your aching entrance.
“yes you can,” he said, low and throaty. “m’gonna make you, sweet thing. you’re gonna be coming on this cock all night long.”
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taglist: @ivybeeloved
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oikasugayama · 11 months ago
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YOU CATCH HIM M@STURBAT!NG
NSFW, for adults ONLY, MDNI or I'll block you. No idea how many parts this will be. Let me know which BSD men you want to see ;)
pt. 1 Fyodor, Poe, Chuuya | pt. 2 Fukuzawa, Kunikida, Dazai | pt. 3 Ranpo, Akutagawa, Ango | pt. 4 Sigma, Mori, Tetcho | pt. 5 (finale) Atsushi, Nikolai
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Fyodor
Walking in on him touching himself is REALLY surprising because he doesn't seem the type to masturbate, in your mind. You straight up couldn't imagine him touching himself until the very second you walked into his office and saw his bottoms around his ankles, his top hiked up around his chest, and his hand furiously pumping over his pale dick.
His head is thrown back, eyes closed, mouth lazily hanging open. You've never seen so much skin on him before. He's PALE pale which makes the brightness of his mouth and tongue and the tip of his cock seem so much brighter.
"oh love, yes, yesss" he moans, and your whole body flushes red with embarrassment and arousal at the same time. You shouldn't be seeing this but you're having a hell of a time turning away from him. You need to leave the room. You need to go. You need to turn around.
"y/n," he purrs, tilting his head and opening his eyes half-way, looking so fucked out and erotic. "do you like what you see?"
You can't formulate an answer, you're standing in the doorway short circuiting, trying to make words but only noises come out
"since you're standing there I thought you might be interested," he says as slow and calm as ever. Even jerking himself off his voice doesn't hitch or raise or speed up and it's honestly really hot right now. "Care to join me?"
"i-i, um... I'm really s-sorry, f...fyodor."
He moans softly biting his lip while still staring straight at you.
"say it again," he purrs. "say my name."
"fyodor..."
"again," he moans, hand working faster.
"Fyodor."
you walk in and close the door behind you.
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Poe
You two scheduled a hang-out at his place but despite how many times you knocked on the door, he wouldn't answer...so you try the doorknob, and hey, it's unlocked! You've been to his place many times, you don't mind letting yourself in and don't suspect he'll mind either.
After you put your stuff down and take off your shoes, you register a quiet noise coming from a different room. you sneak closer and realize two things: it's crying, and it's coming from poe's bedroom
you open the door and rush in without thinking. "poe! what's wrong, why are you-- OH FUCK"
you rushed right into him kneeling at the edge of his bed, bouncing on a dildo and not crying, whimpering, moaning.
he calls your name and you can't tell if he meant to moan it but he absolutely moans it and he sounds like a wreck and he looks pathetic and fucked out, and you feel it when he says your name.
"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have been this, I'm gonna go home--" you say, turning and rushing out of his room. he calls your name after you, multiple times, moaning and moaning and moaning--
you sink down against his front door, still slightly able to hear the sounds of him moaning and whining from his room. you're so horny now, absolutely drenched through your panties/rock hard in your pants. You know you should leave, you know you shouldn't still be here, but he never told you to go, he just kept saying your name...
a few minutes later, after the noises have subsided and the apartment has gotten deadly quiet, his bedroom door creaks open and he slowly peeks his head out. he must be crawling still because he's near the floor.
"[y/n]," he sighs, "I didn't want you to find out like this."
it takes you a second to collect yourself, but you manage to ask "find what out?"
"that i... i think about you... a lot..."
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Chuuya
you're on a PM mission with chuuya and several other PM members. you've got to share a room with chuuya, but at least you have separate beds. it's fine. it's whatever. until.
until you wake up one morning--the clock on the bedside table saying it's only 6:23 a.m.--to the sound of a rhythmic slapping, some occasional huffs, a-- a moan?
you sit upright in bed quickly, your head turning toward chuuya's bed.
"are you fucking serious?"
"what" he huffs, and through the tiny bit of daylight creeping through the curtains you can see movement beneath his sheets.
"are you jerking off right now? dude we're sharing a fucking room."
"you were asleep," he says defensively. "not like you noticed yesterday."
"dude!!!"
"get over it, it's fuckin' natural," he says and his voice is getting tight and higher almost like he's biting back a moan or getting close to cumming.
"it's disrespectful when you have someone in the same room, chuuya," you say softer, subconsciously still trying to hear the sounds he's making. you're embarrassed at how intrigued you are
"i'm not stopping you," he says. "you can jerk it too for all i care."
"to what... to you jerking it?"
you can almost hear the smirk in his voice when he says "I never said anything about that, so you thought that up all on your own. is that what you're into, pet?"
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nighttimealone · 1 month ago
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Cw: Nsfw (pt.2 of Dilf Next Door!Ghost)
Simon’s hobby improved to a new level of enjoyment because of you.
He’s at his flat when you open the door with the key he gave you. A simple grey sweatpants hanging low on his waist, faded shirts he owned since the first few years of his service covering his body when you spot him on the couch.
Simon lifts his head from the book as soon as he hears the door creaks open, the black reading glasses still on his face when he lets out a soft grunt to greet you.
“Can give you something to do, princess.” He mutters when you explain that you’re feeling bored, so you come over to see what’s he doing.
He picks up his book again minutes later, now with your trousers toss aside on the floor, panties still on but push aside, allowing his cock to barge in and nestles deeply in your cunt. One of his hand pushing you down to rest your head against his chest, while the other still holding his book, listening to you mewl every time he turns a page and accidentally’ shift his hips, grinding in and out of your now dripping cunny.
“Quit moving, love. Can’t see the words on the book clearly if you keep doing that.” The hand on your rear snaps down to holding your hips against his snuggly, dragging you down onto his cock in a swift move and makes his fat tip nudge against your cervix, making your eyes roll back and creams around his hard dick, walls clenching down tightly and try to milk him, so you can be filled with his white cum again just like last night.
“Can I move? please I want to move, please…” You watery eyes meet his, peppering kisses along his neck in attempt to make him lose control, yet all he does is anchoring your hips with his both hand, the book now lean back against your tits.
“Only few pages left. behave.” He croons, guiding your hips to slowly massage his cock, then unabashedly using your tits as makeshift book stand while he resume reading.
You’re stressed out as your exam day approaches, one hand gripping your hair while another holding the pen, trying to write down again the key points you just went over again, but failed miserably because your exhausted brain can’t operate properly after hours of study.
“Come here.” After probably the 100 times he hears you sigh subconsciously within hours, Simon’s voice pops up, beckoning you to come closer as he lies on your bed.
He’s gonna fuck all those stress out of you, and god, he’s doing such a great job, holding you down and desperately wanting you smother him with your pussy, tongues darts out and lapping at your wet folds, making you scream out his name in pleasure whenever he take your swollen clit in his mouth and gives it a hard suck.
“Use my tongue, sweetheart.” He pats on your thighs—straddling his face and wrapping his head in those soft flesh—encouraging you to ride his face and use it for your own pleasure. Don’t you dare lift your hips from his face before you come, his big palm will immediately lands on your ass cheek and spank you if you do so, before pulling you down so he can lick all the juices from your entrance, groaning contentedly against your pussy at the sweet and intoxicating taste.
“just like that, ride my face, need to feel you come on my tongue.” His praises barely registered as you chase your orgasm, fingers tangled in his hair and head throws back with all those moans—definitely the best music he’ve heard in his entire life—feeling him slurping all the juices eagerly in afraid of losing even a drop when you cry out his name and drench his face with your release.
Little whimpers escape your lips when you move your hips away from Simon’s face, and he reaches up to chase your soaked pussy, pressing a few more kisses—on your cute clit and puffy folds, as if thanking them for drowning him in his best dream.
And when you look down at him, it’s that slight smirk on his face again, the smug expression he has whenever makes you come or even squirt with his tongue only.
“I suppose that’s a way to relieve stress. Now, you still need more ‘stress relief session’, or you gonna go back to read those bloody textbooks?”
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ddiidi · 2 months ago
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bf!Bangchan x gn!reader (ot8 mentioned)
Masterlist
When he calls you clingy, so you distance yourself
Previous Pt. 1
Pt. 2
Next Pt. 3
!Warnings: angst, swearing, fun at the end bc reader needs fun in life (lmk if i missed anything)
Important!Side-Note!: Should I do a happy ending for them?
It has been 3 days since that incident. 3 days and still not a single message from Chan, not even an apology for yelling at you, nothing. You've been texting him every now and then, to ask if he's okay, eats and sleeps. He never replied to any of them, nor has he seen them, so you spend most of the time packing your stuff and working from home. You were glad you had a job you also could work from home for. Every now and then, you went over to the building, to check a few things, walking extra detours, to make sure, you won't bump into Chan.
A few of the other members texted you the past days, asking if everything is okay and why the haven't seen you around for a while, to which you just replied with "Busy with work and private stuff, dww:)". It made you happy they actually care that much about you, just because they haven't seen you in a few days, but also anxious and sad, since they care, but chan hasn't even shown any intress in you the past days. You weren't even able to tell him that you're moving.
More days pass, and a few days, turn into a week of no textes from Chan. At this point, you wondered if he even knew that you still exist.
So here you were, in your old apartment, stuffed with boxes, not being able to get your mind off chan and his well-being, even though, you're still deeply hurt from what he said, you couldn't just not not care about him....He pointed out two of your insecurities, just like that as if it was nothing and he doesn't even care...not about you not your feelings.
You let out a deep sigh. You should be getting ready for a day with your friends. Not think about some man, who happened to be the love of your life, who calls you his partner, but doesn't even know how to cherish you.
You let out another, heavy, sigh as you drop to the floor to put on your shoes, Let's just focus on having a great time today, you thought to yourself and left the apartment.
Well, maybe it was not the best decision to go out today...
Chan for his part, had to listen to a lectur from Felix, after you ran out, crying. "Chris..you really shouldn't have said all that to her. I understand that you were annoyed or whatever, but that was no reason to yell at her" "Really now? They were just being a fucking, clingy and annoying crybaby that couldn't take no for an answer, for whatever reason." chan sighed out, at the younger member. "That crybaby...was really uncalled for chris. They're your partner, not some random person on the street you can yell at. I wouldn't wonder if they took that "Leave me alone" to heart and actually leave you after that action." "But I-" chan starts, "I'm just saying chris. You better fix this before it's too late. After what you pulled, partners are faster gone than you could blink" with that, Felix leaves the room, leaving Chan alone, again.
Since that talk, Chan locked himself in his studio, thinking about the best way to apologize for what he said. But he couldn't find one. No matter how long he thought, days, a whole week, there was nothing but regret. He just had to apologize in person and beg for forgivness, hoping that you'd actually forgive him.
So there he was, with a giant bouquet of flowers, fresh clothes and hope.
He had the code to your apartment, so he opened the door, ready to be greeted by the warm, wide open hallway, but was greeted with the cold gray of bunch of boxes instead and the first thing he felt, was panic."Y/n? Y/n are you there?" he yelled, as he ran through your whole apartment, but as he saw that even all your date polaroid pictures where gone, he couldn't help but panic even more.
He let's the flowers fall on the floor, running to your room and nearly collapsed when he found..nothing. Where were you? Did you actually go? Did you actually leave him? All these questions consumed his head and that's when he broke, crying to the point he couldn't breath. He took out his phone and called the first number he saw in his recent calls. It peeped a few times, before someone took the call.
"Hey Chris everything alr-" "They're gone! Felix they're gone, they're not here i don't know what to do! I've never meant it I was just-" chan cried and gasped out at felix on the other line. "Woah there calm down, try to breath I don't understand a word. Relax, I'll be there okay? You know there is an explination for everything, that's what you always say, so try to relax it's okay" Felix tried to soothen the older man, while grabbing his keys and running out to his car. Chan didn't reply anything to that and continued soobing.
I have your location, I'll be there in 5." that's the last thing chan heared from felix, before he collapsed on the floor in your apartment.
And you? You were drinking coffee with your friends, while your bestie told you guys a story how she saw a horse that nearly drowned.
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾✧༺🖤༻✧✧༺🖤༻✧✧༺🖤༻✧☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙
@finnbbl @wolfs-howling
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phant0mth1ef · 4 months ago
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are we still friends? can we be friends? are we still friends? i’ve got to… know. (pt. 2 to the feeling that i’m losing her, forever). part 3
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to say you didn’t expect to see a pair of bright red eyes staring you down as you walked into the facility was an understatement, you hadn’t made eye contact with those eyes in over a year, and you flinched the moment you realized just who you were looking at.
you’d stumbled into inasa once you snapped out of your daze, catching yourself quickly as your cap hit the floor, the boy using his wind in order to float it back onto your head.
“thank you.” you mumbled before going to take your spot in line, coincidentally right next to your former best friend.
“why haven’t you called me?!” so now he wants to begin a conversation.
“been busy.” you shrugged, refusing to even look at him because you knew you’d start crying the moment you met his eyes again.
“okay? you could’ve texted me or some shit!”
“my phone stopped working.” you were competing for the title of nonchalant final boss at this point with how casual you were being.
“bullshit. i saw you with it at the exam! just tell me why you’re avoiding me like the plague.” it may not have looked like it, but bakugou was scared out of his mind. you’d changed since the licensing exam, he could sense it in the way you carried yourself. you were being cold.
“what the hell happened to you?? you used to always call me, always text me. what happened?” did he seriously not know what happened?
“you happened.” and that was all you were able to say before the proctors for the training session entered the room, quickly commanding you all to stand in line as your face changed to a softer expression.
it was a casual sparring session, so why were you sending rocks the size of boulders his way? his mind was too clouded to even dodge them effectively, the words you said still playing out in his mind as he mindlessly sent out explosive attacks.
you’d tried to pack up as quickly as possible afterwards to avoid a confrontation with your former best friend, but you heard the clanking of his boots hitting the ground and just let out a sigh.
“what?” you snapped.
“what me? what you!” he was starting to get angry, the way he would get angry back in middle school.
“what about me?! you’re also at fault here. i was the one always trying to get in contact with you! i just grew up and realized that if you wanted to, you would.” you begun to shove all your things into your duffel bag, accidentally smashing your fist into the ground.
“what the hell does that even mean?! you’re the one who stopped calling me outta nowhere. i didn’t tell you to do that.”
“don’t you get it?! i was the one always calling!” you shoved your bag to the floor as you stood up straight, your voice getting strained as you finally made eye contact with bakugou.
“i was the one who always had to start talking to you first! it made me feel like a nuisance. and then one day i hear you telling your new friends that you think i’m annoying? like what the fuck, katsuki. none of this is my fault. if you’d just been a man and picked up the phone, this could’ve been avoided.” you had a habit of crying once you got frustrated, so naturally the tears were threatening to fall from your eyes.
he didn’t have any words, letting out a scoff as you picked up your bag and shoulder checked him on your way out, sending him stumbling back as he just stared at the ghost of your presence.
later that night he sat in his dorm room, his finger hovering over your contact but never once pressing on it, unsure of what he’d even say if you decided to pick up.
“i mean how the hell am i supposed to apologize? she’s so confusing. like damn sorry i called you annoying but it isn’t even that big of a deal anymore that was months ago!” bakugou was ranting to his little group of friends that were huddled on his floor, suprised that the boy would even invite them, let alone drone on about his issues with the friend that none of them even knew about.
“so you called her annoying but you didn’t know she was listening?” mina spoke up.
“yes but that was months ago! i don’t even know how to talk to her anymore because she won’t listen to me.” he sprawled flat on his bed.
“sounds like you’ve dug yourself a deep hole bakugou.” kirishima said, a hint of disappointment in his tone.
meanwhile, back at shiketsu, your group was currently huddled in camie’s dorm, and you sat on the bed while they formed a circle around you.
“i don’t know who he thinks he is but i am not going to beg for him to be my friend, i am not going to be as pathetic as i used to be!” slow teardrops fell from your eyes as you recalled back in middle school when bakugou found more friends and slowly begun to leave you behind.
“i know, and i get that, but you should at least try to give him a chance. he’s making an effort.” she tossed you your phone that was sitting on the desk, a notification on the lock screen.
[kats 💥🫂]
Meet me at the spot tomorrow. Please. 4 PM.
tags; @riverozada @lupitalove @msjaeger @aintseennothinyet @wendeeeee ask and you shall receive sorry if its kinda bad 😢😢
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skelly-words · 10 months ago
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Pt 2. of Bring Your Tentacle to Work Day
Okay, here you go… same tags as before + some girl-on-girl
Part 3
NSFW, no minors 18+, no children, go away
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You don't expect this, your coworker's shyness quickly melts away. Replaced by curiosity as she watches cum drip out of you, obscenely splattering on the floor and dribbling down your legs in thin blue ribbons.
"Where do I get one of those?" She points a shaky finger at your cunt, at the thin tentacle that takes forever to slide out of you.
A low whine leaves your throat as your pussy squeezes around the suckers. they are dragged along your sensitive insides until you're left completely empty. Satisfied with itself, the tentacle begins to wind comfortably around your hip and thigh.
You turn around, avoiding her sparkling eyes as they greedily take you in.
"Um, i-it's work issued. For productivity," you say softly, still looking at the floor. Her shoes shuffle towards you to make the tight stall seem even smaller.
She softly strokes your cheek, trailing a less innocent hand under your skirt to feel at the monster wrapped around your thigh.
"Can you use it on me?" You can feel her hot breath against your face as she leans closer. Her touches are so gentle, waiting for you to guide her, teach her.
You look up at her between damp lashes, her pretty blushing lips are pouting until you say, yes, and start to kiss her. It quickly turns to a messy makeout as your hands crawl up her skirt. She moans into your mouth as her black panties come down around her stilettos.
You can feel how wet her pussy is as she grinds against your thigh, leaving stickiness glossing your skin. The tentacle smells her arousal and loosens on your thigh, shifting and readjusting to bump her clit better.
She pulls away from your lips with a pop as the blue appendage skims up the curve of her ass. She looks at you, a lewd look of excitement flashing across her features as you hear the tentacle pop into her butt. She pants, heavier and quicker than before and clings to your hips for support.
"What? Is it too much?" You tease.
Her hands tighten on you as the thing starts to figure out how to make her squirm. She hides her soft noises in your neck with her drool pooling in the dips of your collar bones. You begin to undo her blouse. The black buttons come undone, one after the other.
She can't let you go, so the silk hangs around her elbows. Her cute little moans and the slick sound of the tentacle filling her up are making your pussy start to throb again.
She gets too loud as you play with her nipples. Your cool touch is torture on the brown buds, stiffening as you roll them back and forth between your fingers. Her perky tits get pinker as you pinch at them and her moans pitch higher. You can feel yourself getting warmer too, abandoning one of her breasts to roll a palm against your cunny.
She's on her knees as soon as your hand drops, pushing your arm and panties aside to nose at your clit. Now you're the one being too loud, whimpering into your clean hand as she shoves her tongue into you.
"I'll cum soon-," she gasps against you, cut off as you try to catch up, hand tangled in her hair to press her closer. She looks up at you, eyes going in and out of focus. The brown fabric of her skirt is bunched around her waist. You can't see the tentacle except for the bulge in her tummy as it fills her up. Two fingers begin to stretch you open. You're so easy to push into, so she forces them as deep as she can reach. She knows what to do when your breath comes faster, latching her perfect lips around your clit as she milks your g-spot.
"Please." It almost hurts, but you're so close to orgasm that you can't seem to care. "I can't squirt again."
Her nods tug at your clit and her fingers are insistent. The digits fuck your pussy into a creamy mess. A third slipping into you makes your thighs start to shake. You cry out as you cum, gushing down her lips and chin as she sucks you through it.
A single tear traces down her cheek, falling into the crease of your thigh. "It's not letting me cum." She leans back to show you her twitching cunt. The tentacle has stilled in her stuffed pussy, leaving her needy and begging.
"That's because it's mine, baby. You'd need to get your own for it to do that." You laugh softly and start to pull your pet out of her. A parting kiss on her puffy lips leaves your mouth wet from her juices.
You straighten your clothes and clean up before leaving the bathroom, fixing any smudged makeup as you hear her desperately trying to cum in the back stall.
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Those who asked to be tagged- @mishaglass @gummie-soup + the anon ask
I saw someone comment about eggs on the last part and it kinda had me thinking... I have like no time to write anymore but drop me some inspiration anyway
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retiredteabag · 3 months ago
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soft Toji dog-sitting for a generous!reader
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pt. 1 - pt. 2 - next
synopsis: Toji takes up dog-sitting for you and learns to appreciate his new job, in more ways than one.
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
Time came and went with Toji’s frequent dog sitting. Despite the workhorse owner seemingly never being home, the dog appeared well cared for and happy.  The place became a second home for the man. On one particular 8:00 o’clock morning, he found a long note… and a hundred dollars.
“Mr. Fushiguro, we will be getting lots of rain this week, I can’t ask you to walk him like you usually would but if it’s not too much trouble, please just take him outside and let him go to the bathroom. I’ve got a raincoat in the closet by the garage, a towel for the dog, and umbrellas by the door, please utilize whatever. There are towels for you in the guest bath, I will do the laundry when I get home, please just toss them on the floor.” – y/n  
Toji had never seen a dog so thrilled to be out in the rain. A scoff shook Toji when he found the raincoat. There was no universe where it would've fit him. The dog bounded to the door and sat patiently for Toji to open the umbrella.
It had been painfully humid that day, the rain was torrential, and he was drenched, even with the umbrella. He normally wouldn’t use someone else's shower and he rarely ever did in his previous line of work.
Back then he learned that using his client's utilities gave them the strange impression that they were more than a couple bucks to him. He liked to avoid messes like that and preferred his own (much smaller) shower anyway.
Even so, when the dog and he made it back, the pristine floors and counters stuck out more than ever. He would have to be at the house for a while that day, he figured he should probably clean himself.
If it weren’t for the loving pooch, the place would look unlived in. It was strange to think that before Toji got there and after he left anyone occupied the space at all.
The shower had been better than he’d ever remembered having. He tossed the towels in the wash and waited around. Toji was making more and more, working back-to-back days and he had learned to expect the apology text,
“I’m so sorry, I won't be making it back tonight, can you stay till 10?”
Toji always responded by liking the message. Their text logs looked like a line of grey text with numerous “thumbs up” reactions.  
Eventually, the day came when he did not have a note on the counter. The first day where there was a sign of life in the house, a mess. The dog had been anxiously circling Toji when he arrived. Tissues on the counter, trash not taken out, fridge empty, and what really stuck out to him, no money.
Toji couldn’t care less about how the owner lived, but if he was promised pay, he expected pay. No matter how generous the owner had been in the past. He knew it had been an honest mistake when he texted for the first time in weeks.
“Hey. Dog looks good. Were you planning on going to the bank this morning?”
It took a while for him to get a response but when he finally did, they came in quick succession.
“Oh my gosh”
“Mr. Fushiguro, I am so sorry!!”
“I promise it wasn’t intentional, I’ll be back early tonight, don’t worry about feeding him dinner, I’ll Zelle you for today and tomorrow.”
He hadn’t been upset or anything. The owner had been more than lavish with their money, Toji has never been so flush with cash from so little labor. That thought was what caused him to respond,
“No worries.”  
Toji arrived the next morning and for the first time, was met with…. Nothing? Usually, the dog was quick with its futile tackle attempts. Not today I guess Toji thought.
Toji called for the dog and he came running; just not in the way he usually did. Toji noticed immediately, the whining, the huffing, the wiggling, and the ever-constant pushing at his thigh.
“What? What is it, boy?” Toji asks.
The dog let out a particularly loud cry and ran back to the master bedroom. Toji looked around the kitchen, the first room from the foyer he entered. No note on the counter. But what he did find was a half-full glass of water, a ramekin with a cocktail of pills, and an iPhone with a silent alarm on the lock screen. An alarm was set for 5:42. It was 8:17.
The frantic dog rushed back to find Toji at the kitchen counter with the phone in his hand. He whimpered, nudging Toji with his face. It didn’t take long for the dog to practically drag Toji by the pantleg to the master bedroom.
“What? What?” Toji was looking around the room to see what had the big guy so agitated. It would be a lie to say Toji hadn’t done some snooping around the house. He'd wanted to see how the lavish owner lived. It's fair to say that he had never seen the bedroom look so…disrupted. Toji came around the bed where a potentially human-sized lump lay under a pile that consisted of sheets, a blanket, and an exceptionally fluffy duvet.
                “Excuse me?” Toji knocked his knuckles on the dresser by the bed. Still not totally sure if there was life under all the pillows. “Excuse me.” He said, firmer. Toji raised his eyebrows when a long…noise… escaped painfully from the frump on the bed.
                “Hello? You paid me for today, you know?”
There was a shaky stretch he could see from under the fluff. Then, as though burned with a branding iron, the shape jolted up. Toji was struck by the view of the women before him. Screaming in shock.
                The dog began to whine again between Toji and the woman on the bed. You were making loud, unintelligible exclamations. The dog was licking at his paw.
                “H-hello???!” You were nothing like what Toji was expecting. But then again, he wasn’t sure what he had expected from the ghost that was the owner of this place.
                “Ms. y/n? You paid me to come today.” Toji had taken a step back, he was well aware that he was a frightening presence, especially for the seemingly young and unarmed woman sitting up in her bed.
                “Mr. Fushi-“ a cough “guro?!” your eyes stretched comically wide, and made to jump out of bed, but then you saw how close Toji was, and thought again, “I-I didn’t!” Your hands fly to your head, “Oh God….”
Toji stepped back a ways, he wasn’t sure what he should do or say. The women before him seemed… unwell, to say the least. Weak, for sure, cold too maybe.
                “But it’s….” You began.
                “It’s Friday, you paid me last night for yesterday and today, I can leave if you’d like, but I ain’t got the cash on me…”  
                “No, no, no!” Finally, you stumbled from your bed, seemingly no longer frightened by Toji’s looming form, you seemed flushed, and damp? Definitely unwell. “I-I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I let this happen, I swear I set an alarm…”
You spin around and almost slam directly into Toji's chest. Shrieking, you pulled back and stumbled on your own footing. In the same breath Toji grabs you by the shoulder and righted your center of gravity.
Hot. He thinks She was irregularly warm. He let go and stepped back.
There was once a time when a touch like that would mean nothing, but now, he feels unsure if it was the right move. This woman was nothing like his previous clients.
                “I’m so sorry! But… My phone…” Your eyes survey the desk by the bed. A thermometer sat idly by the lamp.
“I’ve got it here.” Toji waved the device before your eyes, “You left it on the counter back there.” He tilted his head toward the kitchen.
The meek women seemed to no longer fear Toji at all, snatching her phone quickly and moaning loudly. “Oh God!” You echoed.
You shuffle on your feet, unsure of which direction to turn, then finally decide to turn to Toji where he stands staring.
                “I- cannot. Apologize. Enough. Please, you stay here, I need to go, I am so late. I- Thank you, for taking care of my boy.” You were huffing. Stress welled in your form but you squeezed the sides of your temples and rushed to slip shoes on.
                “Excuse me.” Toji felt uncomfortable and out of place in this woman's presence but she was insane if she thought she could work in this condition. Not only due to her clear illness, but also, she was currently wearing a professional pair of flats, green and black oversized plaid pajama pants, and a thick black crewneck. “You… can’t work like this.” He made a face.
You look down at yourself. “Oh, I’m-I’m so embarrassed, and I’m sorry. I have extra clothes in the office, I can change there… I can’t believe this happened.” Your hoarse voice had scratched and faded significantly from the screaming you had done moments before. “Thank you, for waking me, and staying with the dog.”
                “Erm…No, I mean, you can’t work…like this” Toji’s hand motioned to rake over your appearance. Like Hello? You are not presentable. “You're sick.”
                “I’m-no! I’m on the recovery side. I’ll be okay.” You state, wobbling on your “recovering” feet.
                “I don’t think so.” Toji wasn’t trying to be pushy but it was laughable to think someone in your condition was anything but grossly ill. “I think you should call out.”
Your eyes jump at the thought. “I can’t, I’m sorry that this happened, I’ll be sure it won't again. I can't believe-ugh!”
Your exasperation was clear, and no, you were not recovering. You had come home last night beyond exhausted. You had left that morning knowing you were sick. You had left work early, (by 5:30) in hopes that sleep would help you body. But the exhaustion had overtaken you. You can recall taking medicine, placing some out for this morning, and then…. Flopping in bed.
Damn it. This was your fault. And after all the work you had done. The panic had settled into disappointment. And the large man that was supposedly your very attentive and efficient dog sitter was still in your bedroom. Staring at you. In your pajamas. Nice.
“Ya can't work like that. How about I walk the dog, you take the drugs you’ve got in that little cup and go back to bed.” He pauses and. Blood rushes to your face. He gives you a once over, “Maybe wash up.”
You were gonna kill yourself.
There were a million “no!” arguments that came to your mind but they were so jumbled in your fuzzy mind. Another reason for your self-induced frustration. The man was already walking out of your bedroom, your big dog in toe. Your boy!? The dog who hated everyone (especially men) but you?? He was leaving YOU for HIM? That was it.
You waddle back to your bed and flop face first into your pillow and wail. No tears come but the embarrassment and anger fill you so full you need it out of your system in some way.
Checking your (nearly dead) phone you find that it is nearly nine, you weren’t THAT late, this could work. But at the realization that you wouldn’t arrive until almost ten, and the sweat pricking at your neck, all the motivation to make it flooded from your bones. You work from home on the weekend anyway, if you went in today you would likely just humiliate yourself more.
You resigned yourself to the bathroom after taking some medicine, desperate to get yourself clean before the dog sitter returned.
Toji decided to take a slower pace on their morning walk. He had an odd feeling in his stomach. All he could that was that this dogs mom was not what he had expected.
It had become a game for Toji- to guess what the homeowner was like. A decrepit golfer with time for nobody but himself? An old, entitled maid, desperate to appear young? A middle-aged guy like himself, too busy trading stocks to feed his own dog?
Yet today proved that all of his ideas were wrong... you were younger than he had envisioned. You had big, full eyes and you had smiled so shyly while thanking him.
He hadn't meant to embarrass you but your face when he told you you were unpresentable just made him laugh. Your eyebrows knitting together, and your (already heated) facade seemed to rush with more blood. Your downcast gaze had lifted to show a pathetically self-deprecating smile. Toji laughed despite himself.
You had seemed small. But in the moment he had spoken to you, you had shrunk even more. No. Not what he was expecting at all.
And despite himself and his greed. He couldn’t help but hope that he wouldn’t be needed here for a little while.
It seemed like you needed to stay home for a while.
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
pt. 3
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honeybubblebeeeeee · 9 months ago
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need pt 2 of the arranged marriage wit toji im begging
THE WAY YALL BLEW THAT UP AND I DIDNT THINK IT WAS GOOD OMG <333333 HERE IS MORE I HOPE I PUT THE SAME CRACK IN THIS ONE
Arranged marriageAU!Toji x reader PART 2
CW: Toji had gone on a business trip just when you and Megumi get sick, what will you do
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You knew it was going to be a bad weekend when you woke up in the middle of the night to a raging fever. You squinted at your phone as you picked it up - 3 am. Fuck.
Megumi slept soundly on the baby monitor thankfully. A sick baby while you were sick was not something you wanted to deal with. Toji was away on a work trip this weekend and wouldn't be home until monday so in the event something were to actually happen this would not be the weekend for it.
You crept to the kitchen, throwing back Tylenol and brewing some tea. Every muscle and bone in your body ached, your head swam and you could feel a sheen of sweat along your skin.
As you sipped your tea and the Tylenol kicked in, slowly you were feeling better. Things could be worse but for the moment you could deal.
Until the faint sound of crying hit your ears. You leaned your head back preparing yourself for what you knew was coming.
Quickly you went up the stairs and to Megumi's room. His crying only got louder as you opened the door to see him standing in his crib, his face flushed red as tears stained his cheeks.
"Megumi baby what's wrong?" You felt the heat radiating off of him as you picked him up. "You have a fever too don't you?" He wailed as you tried to feel his forehead and to your dismay he was definitely feverish. You cooed at him as your tried to soothe his screaming.
"Maybe a bottle will help 'Gumi? Do you want a bottle?" He took a short breath before wailing again as you took him downstairs to the kitchen. It was safe to assume you weren't going back to sleep.
It was hard to do anything while he flailed and screamed in your ear. "Megumi it's okay you're okay baby but I gotta put you down for a second." you placed him on the floor beside you but he only then stood, gripping your leg as he wailed. You felt terrible to say the least.
You made his bottle as quickly as you could with him latched to you. A few drops of children's Tylenol to hopefully soothe his raging fever.
"Okay baby come here. You want up?" His cries died off as you picked him up and gave him the bottle. The tears dried and you paced around as you bounced him, hoping to soothe him back to sleep.
Eventually his eyes closed, and quietly you walked up the stairs and to his room. Just as you set him down and went to walk away his eyes opened and he cried once again. "Megumi, I don't know what to do." You picked him up again, his cries softened to sniffles as you bounced him. Your body ached with every movement.
He settled, his head resting on your shoulder but his eyes still open. The sun would be up but you were both riding on no sleep and a tired Megumi was not something you needed on top of you both being sick.
Walking to your room you tried to lay him down in your bed with you but he only cried. Sighing you stood and picked him up again. "I don't know how to help gumi. I'm right here. Mama doesn't feel good either." Nothing soothed him.
The entire day continued. Your own fever raged on, your head pounding as Megumi cried and wailed at every point. You had never wished so badly for Toji to be home.
It was late in the evening now on saturday, Toji wasn't supposed to be home until monday but you couldn't do this. You could feel yourself getting irritated and upset. It wasn't Megumi's fault and it wasn't your own either.
You stared at his contact on your phone. Would he be mad? Would he even do anything to help? He probably wouldn't even answer. Sighing you pressed the call button, Megumi crying in your other ear as you tried to soothe him at the same time.
It rang and rang, you felt tears brimming as you listened to it. He wasn't going to pick up. You pulled it away from your ear ready to hang up.
"Y/N? Is everything okay?" His deep voice sounded through the phone, you could have cried. You wanted to. You were.
Sniffling you stuttered trying to find your words. "Toji I'm sorry I-I-"
"What's wrong? Is that Megumi crying?" You didn't even notice the concern in his voice, over the tears and crying.
"Toji can you come home please? I can't-"
Before you could even finish he cut you off. "I'll come home immediately. It'll be a couple hours though. Are you going to be okay or do you want me to call someone?"
A sob left you, you couldn't even think you were so tired. "I-I'll manage for a little longer I think. I'm so tired Toji."
"I know mama, you're doing good. I'll be there soon okay? If you change your mind and want me to call someone I will just text me okay."
A shuddering breath left you, Megumi's own hiccups from crying sounded into the phone. "okay, thank you.."
"I gotta hang up now. Text me if you need anything okay?" The call ended and silent tears left you quietly as you pushed the damp hair out of Megumi's eyes. Both of you were feverish and no medication was bringing it down. "dada is coming home. You miss dada Megumi?" His little hands rubbed his wet eyes as you swayed softly hoping to soothe him. "I miss him too baby."
What you didn't know was Toji had missed you too. Since that night in his room, he's only been plagued with thoughts of you. He thought going on this work trip that he originally had not agreed to would allow him to put space between you two. To build the walls around his heart again but here you were, melting it. He had never moved so quickly after hearing you crying through the phone.
It had been an hour, then two, then three. It was pushing midnight and Megumi's cries never stopped. No matter what you did he continued. You had cried with him. Had cried even hard when he was sick all over you. He cried even harder when you had to quickly put him down to rush to the bathroom to be sick yourself.
Relief swept over you as the lock turned and Toji's large frame came into view. He kicked off his shoes and threw down his bag before swiftly moving towards you. Still in his suit, not even taking a moment to strip off his jacket. His hand cradled the back of your head as he pulled you and a crying Megumi into him. Kissing the top of your head, he mumbled against you. "You did good mama. Let me take him."
You mind reeled at the affection but you were too tired and too sick to say anything. Toji took Megumi from you, mumbling something to him as his tears slowed. "Come upstairs." You nodded, following behind him. At the top of the stairs you went to turn towards the hall with Megumi's room but Toji grabbed your hand with his free one. "Come this way."
You looked at him with large eyes but followed him anyway. He pulled you along to his room, past the sitting room, into the bedroom and then the large bathroom. Toji dropped your hand, still holding on to a sniffling Megumi who had stopped crying for the time being. He opened a door, pulling down two black fluffy towels and placing them on the toilet beside the shower. He even went as far as to start the shower.
"I'll take care of Megumi. Take some time to relax." He left the room shutting the door before you could even register what happened.
The shower was heaven, somehow the water pressure in his room was so much better and you knew you would be sneaking in here when he was gone to use it. You felt refreshed and mildly human again, still lightheaded and ill but not so yucky.
You wrapped the fluffy black towel around yourself before realizing you didn't bring clean clothes in here. It wasn't like Toji had never seen you in a towel or naked for that matter but it still felt odd to just walk out only in a towel.
Cracking the door open a tiny bit only to see Toji sitting on the bed, legs spread as his elbows rested on his upper thighs, still sitting in his suit. He looked up at you through the door as it opened. "Feel better?"
You opened the door all the way and nodded. "Yes thank you."
Toji nodded back before handing you a pile of clothes. "Here, I grabbed some clothes for you." You nodded your thanks before slipping back into the bathroom to change. Heat rushed to your face, surely not because of the fever, when you looked at the clothes. The black shorts were yours but the large black t-shirt was definitely his, it smelled like him too. A little too happily you slipped it on. It covered your shorts but it was so comfortable and soft.
You opened the door once again, holding your towel in your hand as you tried to dry your hair. Toji stood, towering you as he held out his hand. "Give me the towel." Unnerved you handed it over, he threw it into a basket in the corner of the room before turning you around and leading you back towards the bathroom mirror.
Toji moved around you, pulling out a hair dryer and plugging it in. Turning it on, he pointed it at your hair, softly moving through the strands. This moment felt more intimate then any time you had sex with him. The image was also a little funny. A huge intimidating man in a suit drying his wife's hair. Well forced wife. That thought ruined the cuteness of the moment.
You could feel your eyes getting heavy as he worked. "Oh wait, where's megumi?" Your eyes snapped up to look at him in the mirror.
He chuckled low. "I gave him some medicine and put him to bed. I grabbed the baby monitor from your room. I'll worry about Megumi."
Toji wrapped up the hairdryer putting it away once he was finished. You followed him out of the room and stopped short as he pulled back the fluffly comforter on his bed as if he was about to go to sleep in his suit.
"Well I guess I'll go to bed now. Are you sure you don't want me to take care of Megumi?"
He turned to look at you, his hands resting in his pockets. "No. I want you to rest."
You nodded and turned around to leave the way you had entered his room.
"Where are you going?" Turning to look at him as he had taken steps towards you as if to stop you if you got too far from him. "To bed?"
A smirk crossed his face. "You're sleeping in here."
"What? I-"
"I wasn't asking." Your eyes widened at his words but you followed as he beckoned you over.
You got under the blankets where he had pulled them back, hating how much more comfortable it was. Toji pulled the blankets up and over you before moving to turn on the lamp beside you and turning off the big light in the room.
"I'm going to shower. Go to sleep. If Megumi wakes knock on the door and I'll go check on him. Understood?" His voice was stern but there was an underlying softness to his words.
You nodded, not being able to hide how heavy your eyes felt. "Take this first mama" He handed you a pill and some water, choking it down before resting your head on the pillow once again.
He slipped into the bathroom and you slipped into a slumber.
Your eyes weakly opened as light from the bathroom shined into the room, framing Toji's body, making the water on his skin glisten. He looked almost otherworldly from your perspective. You could barely see the smirk that played on his lips. "Go back to sleep doll, I didn't mean to wake you."
Mumbling something in coherently you closed your eyes, his soft chuckling floating through the quiet room.
It could have been ten minutes or an hour since he came out of the bathroom but you couldn't mistake the way the blankets moved and the bed dipped next to you as Toji got comfortable next to you. You were much to tired to object to the way he placed his hand on your forehead to feel your temperature, or the way your body shook from chills.
"You awake doll? You're shaking."
Somehow you forced out a, "cold" through your sleepiness.
But you didn't protest when he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you flush against his warm and bare skin. You also didn't have any control over the content hum that left your body at the feeling of him against you.
You had fallen back asleep before hearing the soft chuckle that left his lips or the wide smirk that crossed them. "What am I gonna do with you doll."
Tag list for those who requested a part 2: @acroso @chilichopsticks @freshscrumptiousgoateepeanut @kodzukenwhore @maskedpacific @jdasiilva @xdrcula @jdjsj377777
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indulgentdaydream · 5 months ago
Text
Comparisons Pt.2
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Jason Todd x Jealous!Insecure!Fem!Reader || Angst/Fluff || Word Count: 2,730
Part 1
Warnings: insecurities (reader). Bad self esteem (reader). Criticizing oneself in the mirror (reader). Black eye (jason)
Have at ‘er guys.
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The first thing you did once you got back into your apartment was throw your bag on the floor. The next thing you did was slump back against the door and slowly slid your way down until you were sitting on the ground, knees to your chest, head tucked into your folded arms.
Your eyes had been burning the entire walk back. Your throat was tight and especially your lungs from how fast you had power-walked.
Now that you were out of the public eye, you let the tears finally fall after trying so hard to hold them back.
Thank the crime for Gotham’s low rent. You didn’t think you’d be able to make it to your bedroom to hide your oncoming sobs if you had been living with roommates.
You were exhausted. You felt entirely stupid, too. As if you weren’t enough for Jason. Artemis had everything. Everything you didn’t and more.
You were beginning to think he had settled for you.
You knew he could pull attractive women. Could pull damn gorgeous women. He was entirely handsome himself, even though he never saw it.
Nearly every time you two were out he would have people coming up to him. Flirting with him. Asking for his number. Even when you were right there, his arm around your shoulders or your waist. Or if he was alone because you had gone to the bathroom. That was when they came out of the woodworks the most. It’s like even they could tell you were subpar for him.
The thing is: Jason would never even look at them. No matter how long they stood there. Usually, when he had ignored them for long enough and was getting annoyed, he would pull you into a deep kiss. He wouldn’t stop until he was sure they had left.
You couldn’t even explain why you felt like this. Jason had done nothing to prove that he didn’t love you.
But if Artemis, someone Jason had very possibly loved before you, was still in his life… what chance did you have at being allowed to stay?
Another sob left your throat. You were never in Jason’s league. Why ever pretend? Especially for this long?
You had overstayed your welcome.
Your phone buzzed in your bag. A call coming through. You sniffled, as you pulled it out of your tote.
Jason’s profile was displayed across the screen. A picture you had taken of him when you had dragged him out to the park a few months ago. You were both smiling at the camera as you took a picture. You had thought he looked so handsome in it. A soft smile, kind eyes looking a little off from the camera, the sun basking him in a sweet early spring glow. You had never liked the way you looked in that photo. When you made it his contact, you had cropped yourself out.
You frowned as your phone kept ringing. You didn’t want to deal with him right now. You set the phone on the ground in front of you, face up, letting it go to voicemail.
Your phone went black again. You started feeling a little guilty. Then, seconds later, it rang again.
You didn’t pick up. Even despite the guilt that began to chew at your stomach lining.
That call only rang four times before ending again.
A minute. Then a text message.
Jason: Just tell me whether or not you made it home, baby. Please?
You stared at it for a moment.
Another text.
Jason: I’m coming by soon either way. We’re talking about this.
You frown. He sounded mad.
Your head pounded lightly. A headache from how hard you’d been crying.
Maybe he was coming here to break up with you.
You’d obviously been delusional the past few weeks. Jason was using a case as an excuse to distant himself from you. To get familiar with Artemis again.
That had to be it.
Another text.
Jason: I know you’re seeing these, love.
Screw him. Screw him and his perfect grammar. And his stupid pet names.
You picked up your phone, opening the messages. You send back a simple “Home.” Before closing your phone again, placing it on the ground.
Jason: Thank you. See you soon.
Tears burned at your eyes again, but you swallowed them back.
You pushed yourself off the floor. No point in letting him see you, huddled in a heap of despair, still in your food splattered work clothes. Making your way to your bedroom, you began to change out of your work clothes. You automatically reached for the grey t shirt hanging off the post at the end of the bed, but hesitated. You stared at it. The far too big for you, men’s t shirt that was worn around the collar and smelled so much like Jason.
Your hand hovered over it before you stepped away.
He’d probably be wanting it back after this.
You stepped towards your dresser, catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.
You hate it.
You can’t even see yourself as yourself anymore.
You stand there, picking yourself apart bit by bit. Rifling. Dissecting. Looking to find something good, something likeable, until you’ve tossed every part into the “discard” bin of your mind.
You can’t even do anything about it. All your tears are gone. You simply hang your head as you step into your sweatpants and slip on your t shirt.
You crawl onto your bed, not bothering to climb under the covers. Not bothering to shower.
The sun was still shining in, reminding you of how you were wasting such a beautiful day.
Your mind was working against you. Coming up with reasons for why Jason would be with you. Why he would have done everything that he had ever done with you if he didn’t love you.
The most prominent reason was that he was just taking pity on you. He had the time on his hands to do a favour for the lonely, ugly girl because he had broken up with his gorgeous amazonian warrior girlfriend. He couldn’t be giving out favours anymore now that he had her back.
You laid there on your side, arms hugging yourself. You realized you weren’t out of tears. They continued slip out of your eyes and pool to the pillow below you. The occasional sob leaving you when your mind concocted something else outrageous.
You don’t know how long you laid there for.
In the silence of your apartment, you could hear the lock of your front door click before the door swung open.
You tensed, arms hugging yourself as you laid on your side, back to the door.
You heard Jason slip off his boots, the steel toes he always wore clattering against the floor, signalling his arrival.
Padded footsteps followed, moving down the short hallway. Then the creak of your bedroom door behind you that had already been ajar.
Jason’s voice was soft as he called your name, “You’re not asleep, are ya?”
You simply glanced back at him over your shoulder, twisting. He took up the whole frame. He was dressed the same as earlier. Dark blue jeans, dark grey shirt with a faded brewery logo on it, and his leather jacket that he hadn’t bothered to take off at the door. His sunglasses were gone, showing off the fresh black eye that you hadn’t seen. He held a bouquet of wildflowers in one hand.
Who brings flowers to someone when they’re about to leave them?
You laid your head back down without another word.
More footsteps. The bed dipped behind you, Jason’s weight settling on the mattress, sitting in the crook where your knees bent.
A beat passed before he sighed, “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, doll?”
His hand reaches down to brush away the hair that was covering your face. The second his fingers brush over your cheek, you flinched back.
Jason draws his hand back, “Talk to me. I know how your mind gets, baby. What happened today?”
You stared straight ahead of you, towards the window Jason would often use to enter your apartment in the middle of night, the sunlight shining through. “Are you going to break up with me?”
Jason’s answer was quick. Honest. “No. Never.”
You should’ve felt more relaxed, but you didn’t. You just felt more stupid, “Did you love her?”
Jason paused, “Artemis?”
You nod.
Jason shifted on the bed, bringing more of his weight onto it before answering, “I thought I did. When I was with her. But… no.” Another pause. “You taught me what love was.”
Stupid, stupid, stupid. You knew Jason loved you.
You felt horrible. began to cry again, your voice cracking.
You just… you just needed to make sure, “Are you only with me because— because you pity me?”
“What?” Jason’s hands were suddenly on your shoulders, turning you onto your back. His fingers brushed your hair back and cupped your face. “Of course not!” You met his gaze for a moment through a haze of unshed tears. You’d never seen him more worried. More concerned. More… heartbroken at your words.
His eyes drift to the wet patches on your pillow, then back to your face. He takes in your red eyes and red nose. “Baby… have you been crying over this? Thinking I was going to leave you?”
You look away from him without answering. A silent “yes”.
Jason sighs lightly, “Because of Artemis?” His thumbs begin to stroke your cheeks, “She was just giving me some papers for a shipment. She owed me a favour from a long time ago.”
“How long were you with her?”
“Eight months,” he said, though there was a flit of a questioning tone at the end of it. He corrected himself, “Nine.”
“Why have you never talked about her?” You see him frown, his eyes shutting for a moment. You feel your face burn from embarrassment at all your questions.
Jason takes a breath, “That relationship… wasn’t a good one. It was my second real one, ever.” He shrugs, “It was built off of shared trauma, I guess. Once the Outlaws disbanded we didn’t really have much of a reason to stick around one another.” He pauses. “Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’d even consider it a real relationship. More of a fling.”
There’s a beat. You still don’t look at him.
“You know I love you,” he says. You bite deep into the inside of your cheek. “You know I love you… right?” His words sound so distraught at the idea of him making you feel unloved.
A small breath left your lungs. “I know.” Tears spill over as you talk, your arms still wrapped around yourself, hands squeezing the flesh of your biceps, “But that could’ve been an easy hand over. Five minutes.” You tried taking a deep breath, “Why… why make time to go and have coffee with your ex when you can’t even make time for me?”
Jason cursed quietly under his breath. Your face crumpled, but you tried for keep it together. “She wanted to.” Jason said. “Trust me. I didn’t. But I need that information.” He shuffled more onto the bed, hovering over you. “You have no idea how happy I was when I saw you walking past. You were like some angel coming from heaven. I’m serious.”
The moment replayed in your mind. Your bottom lip wobbled uncontrollably as you remembered his consistent frown every time he had looked at you.
“Then why—“ your voice hitched with a small sob. “You only smiled at her. You just started nitpicking me the second she left. Started when— when she was still there.”
Jason sighed again, his eyes shutting, “I know. I was acting like an asshole. I know. I’m sorry.” He leaned his face closer to yours, thumbs swipes away your tears. “I just get so worried about you sometimes.” He leaned down, pressing his forehead to yours.
You sniffle again, “I’m sorry.”
“No,” Jason mumbled against your forehead before leaning back. “I’m sorry, baby. I was already ticked off that I was wasting time with her.”
You squirmed lightly, still hugging yourself, “I’m still sorry. I know you love me. I do trust you. I just—“
Jason shook his head, “No. Don’t be sorry. I shouldn’t have had coffee with her. I should’ve been picking you up from work.” He moved his hands to gentle grasp onto your hands, “Come on. Sit up for me, yeah?”
You followed his instructions, sitting up, crossing your legs in front of you. Jason grabbed a tissue from your bedside table, handing it to you to blow your nose. You felt like asking whether the case he was working was real or not. You decided against it, realizing his black eye should be proof enough.
Jason brushed your hair back as you blew your nose, clearing your face. “Why did you think I’m with you because I pity you, love?”
You look away, shameful, “Because… because you’re the first guy to ever ask me out.” You shrug lightly, “And… and no one else was wanting to. And I just…” You sniffle again. Jason takes your old tissue and hands you a new one, his other hand on your knee, his thumb stroking the side of it gently. “I saw how pretty she is and—”
“Not as pretty as you,” he gave you a soft smile, lifting your chin up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cut you off.”
You gave no reaction.
Jason paused, “…do you not think you’re pretty?”
You try and turn your face away again, shrugging, “I’m just so far out of your league. She’s not.”
“Damn right you’re out of my league,” Jason laughed softly, grasping onto your shoulders as they fell in defeat.
Finally. You thought. He realizes. This is it. This is—
He took one hand and tilted your chin until you were looking at him again. “Love, you’re leagues above me. You hear me? I’m serious. I’m so lucky to have someone as sweet and caring as you.”
You begin to shake your head. Jason firmly yet painlessly pinches your chin between his thumb and forefinger, stopping you. He begins to nod your head. Up and down. Forcing you to agree with him.
He presses his thumb into your bottom lip. He pulls it down and back up over and over again, mimicking speech as if you were some puppet. He pitched up his voice and octave, “Yes, Jason! I’m the most gorgeous girl you’ve ever seen!”
You can’t help it. A smile tugs at your lips. You pull his hand away and hold it with both of your own as you place a kiss to it.
Jason grins, tilting his face down to yours, “There she is. There’s my girl.”
You shake your head at him, “I’m sorry for thinking you were going to leave me for her…”
Jason smiles softly, “No more apologies. I know how your mind is.” He tilts his chin up and pressed another kiss to your forehead. “Evil mind.” He mutters against it, making you giggle.
You hum lightly, leaning into his touch. “What happened to your eye?”
Jason scoffed lightly, “Some thug last night. My helmet was already broken. He got a good right hook in.”
You smile up at him. You sit up straighter, pressing a feather light kiss to the edge of the bruising.
Jason hums in satisfaction, “Thank you, baby.” He smiles again, looking back at you. “What do you want to do now? You’ve got me until nine.”
You perks up, “Nine? But it's already four! Don't you have to read those papers? Don’t you have to—“
Jason smiled and shook his head, cutting you off, "Already did. I just have to intercept that shipment tonight and then you'll have me all day tomorrow, too. I’ve got nothing else but time to spend with my girl.”
Your smile grows a little wider, "Really?"
Jason nods, "I promise."
You play with his fingers as you think it over. Rubbing a thumb over his knuckles, picking up each digit and curling them and straightening them again, "Can we go for a ride?"
Jason grins, "Course, love. Where's your helmet?"
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AHHH!! Hope you guys enjoyed!!!!
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lovifie · 9 months ago
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Hormones Pt.2 🧡
Enemies to lovers | Fluff | smut | 2400 words | Masterlist
Part 1 - Next Part
Simon's POV
Simon was excited you joined, really. Even if you were not officially part of the team, whenever the Captain would tell him you were joining for a mission he already liked the mission better. 
He loved to see the way you were around the Sergeants, the three of you being the same rank made it easier to get along; and after a couple of missions together the three of you were already close friends, almost sibling-like. 
With the Captain was different of course, but it was still great. You wouldn't make call the captain a muppet like you liked to call Gaz, but would still make fun of him calling him “old man”.
Laswell liked you the best, the usually stoic woman entered now the room beaming with a smile when you were tagging along, obviously pleased with the presence of another woman.
And Simon, him… well, he tried. He really did!
Simon is aware that he is a big guy, tall, muscular and even if he has any trail of sympathy on his face it doesn't matter because it is always covered. But he wanted to make a good impression! You seemed like a nice girl, everyone on the team liked you and finally, when it was his turn to introduce himself he saw you looking up to him.
And you looked so beautiful, so genuine, so out of place on such a cruel thing the military was, he felt his heart speed up and his dick twitch a little bit.
He needed to make a great impression, so he practised in his mind “Hi, I'm Lieutenant Riley, but everyone calls me Ghost, welcome aboard, Sergeant.” It was perfect! The perfect introduction, perfectly cordial, perfectly measured, perfect everything. And yet, when the moment come, the only thing he said was: “The fuck you looking at? Want a pat on the back for making it here without shitting yourself in the process? Get the fuck out of my face, go bother somebody else.”
Simon wanted to shoot himself on his dick.
He realized he had obviously intimidated you, he was still your superior and on top of that he was an asshole to you.
But every time he tried to fix it, he would just make it worse. And at some point, you started to avoid him, and he hated it. You no longer reported to him, you went straight to Price, right over him and for a while he was both annoyed and impressed he couldn’t catch you doing it so he could afront you and ask you to report to him. To talk to him, basically. 
And then he did, he was just getting out of Price's office when you were about to knock, and he quickly realized what was going on. And he was going to ask you why and to please go back to him, but the only thing he managed to say was:
“Now you are too great to speak to your immediate superior? Need to go cry to the Captain like a brat? Make sure not to wet your nappies, soldier.”
And honestly, what's his fucking problem? 
He decided he was going to get over you, it wouldn't work anyway. C’mon, he was an adult, he couldn't keep getting out of his senses like this. So he decided he would just ignore you back, and eventually, he would forget about you and everything would be easier. 
Until Soap caught up, and now he couldn't backtrack. 
It was during sparring training, you were against Gaz and the taller man had jet to land a hit on you. It was impressive to see, how you used every single fact to your advantage. Gaz has gotten hit before on the right side of his face, hurting his eye; and you weren't even there when it happened but you quickly realized it and we're constantly moving to the right side of Gaz; annoying him and making him lose his focus. 
You moved so fast out of Gaz's reach, that he would have thought you were a glitch in a video game. And once you realized Gaz was getting tired enough, you grabbed his arm on one of his punch tries and by the time Gaz realized you had grabbed him; he was already face-pressed against the floor, arms behind his back and you sitting on his hips.
Any normal person would have been impressed, maybe even a little afraid; but Simon? Simon was aching with a growing boner; something about the way you were sitting over the bigger man, you back to Simon which gave him a perfect view of your ass, the way you were breathing hard after the exercise, yeah, no wonder Soap caught on.
“Ye getting exited, LT.” He suddenly said beside him, almost making him jump. “Ye getting a thing for the wee lass? A bet ye wish ye were Gaz right now.”
“Shut the fuck up, Johnny” 
He didn't, of course. 
But he promised to help him.
And a couple of weeks later, there is another meeting. Supposedly, Soap has a plan; he won't tell him what is it, but he has it. And when Simon enters the room and it is boiling hot, he starts to guess what it is. 
You are sitting opposite to Johnny, who smiles at Simon with a thumbs-up. Not that he looks at him for long, not when you are sitting right on the other side of the table. Wearing a tank top, tight on your body as you use your hand to fan yourself; looking up to him through your lashes, the look travelling straight to his dick. He sighs and sits down, waiting for his turn. 
Simon cannot really understand how being boiled alive will help him with you, but is not like he can ask Johnny now. In the end, he's glad he let the sergeant do his thing; because the moment he stands to give his presentation he can feel your eyes on him.
He is trying really hard to stay focused, he knows by memory what he has to say, but the moment he lifts his eyes from the paper, his mind is blank and he stutters on his words. But how can he not?
Your skin is glistening with sweat and Simon can feel his mouth water because of it, little droplets drip down your neck and over the mount of your chest, light reflecting like on a mirror as your chest raises with each breath. He looks up your arm, finding your thumb between your teeth as you bite your nail; your soft lips pressing your finger, your pink tongue visible through the small space between your teeth and it sends Simon's mind in a turmoil as to what he would like to do with your mouth.
He shouldn't, he is at work and he is giving a damn presentation! He doesn't dare to look at Price, he is sure he is talking no sense at this point, but he can’t peel his eyes away from you when he can feel you look at him.
It is then that he looks at your eyes, and he swears he has never seen you look like that. You have a hunger in your eyes that causes a shiver up his back, you have a determination mixed with a desperation that has Simon weak on his knees and you are not even looking at his face. You are looking at his body, he unconsciously flexes the muscles you look at and when he sees you focus your eyes on your crotch he has the need to sigh, emptying his lungs to suppress a moan. 
He looks back at the paper, trying to remain focused as he figures out where the last line he read is. He doesn't find it, because suddenly Johnny is laughing at the top of his lungs after you show him something on your phone. He cannot see it from where he is standing, and he fights with all his might not to bend down to be able to see it.
He'll ask Johnny later, once he is done with the presentation and doesn't have to fight a boner back.
He does ask him later that same day, when he is in the sergeant’s barracks lying on his bed.
“I told ye it would work, Lt.” Soap says smiling from his desk. “She's into ye, mate. Ye just need to stop being weird.”
“I'm not weird.” Simon defends himself, being interrupted by a knock on the door. Gaz pokes his head in, entering once he sees they are both inside; he wonders for a second what he is doing here until he sees you walk in just behind him.
Gaz has a brick of beers in his hand, he winks at Simon and he quickly realises he is into whatever plan Soap has orchestrated. He whips his head to look at the mastermind and finds him sitting on the other bed in the room, Gaz quickly sitting beside him; leaving only half of the bed Simon is sitting at left for you to sit.
Soap and Gaz look at him with a shit-eating grin on their faces when he looks at them, the two little shits are physically making you sit next to him, almost skin-on-skin with how much space Simon takes. 
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You POV
Fucking Soap.
Last fucking time you trust him with your secrets! When you left the meeting this morning, he tackled you to ask you about why you were ogling like that at the LT.
“Is not me, Soap. Is it my hormones.” You whine, trying to convince him to let it go.
“Yeah, yeah, sure. But you were drooling for HIM.” He says, accentuating it. “It hurts my pride, bonnie. We were all in the room, but ye only had eyes for him.”
“Soap, for god's sake. I looked at him for two seconds.” You argue.
“Two seconds for each ball, lass. I saw you, looking up and down his bod. Ye got a crush for the Lt, bonnie?” He asks, moving his eyebrows up and down. You look at him offended before rolling your eyes. “I'm not fifteen, Soap.”
“I know, lass. The way you were looking at him was not of a fifteen years old, you were thirsting for him. You were staring at his willy, lass.” He says cocking his head and smirking.
“No, I wasn't!” You lie, feeling embarrassed to admit something like that.
“Shoot your shot, lass. I'm pretty sure he has a thing for you too.” He says, putting his hand over your shoulder.
“Yeah, murderous thoughts.” You snort, not believing the scotsman.
He laughs at you and claps your back stepping aside. “Trust me, give it a try. Ye may not end up married, but I'm sure ye'll get your kitty pet.” He says before taking a step back and mimicking having sex doggy style making you cringe which causes him to laugh. “Come to my room later, we getting drunk.”
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Simon shimmies his way a little to a side, and even though for a second you wonder about sitting at the desk, you decide it is not worth it. 
This man has been just a little asshole to you since you met, and now suddenly your fucking hormones have you wanting to peel his pants off and choke on his dick. It's not fair!
So you sit down next to him, your leg touching his. He keeps his hand on his lap, only raising his hand to catch the beers can Gaz throw at him. He catches them, opens one of them and hands them to you. You grab it and mutter a thank you, looking at him and noticing him looking at the other men in the room. 
Gaz and Soap quickly start to talk, filling the room with a comfortable sound and Ghost and you remain as mere spectators. 
The beers get drunk fast, a warm feeling flooding everyone's bodies and everyone kind of melting onto the beds. At some point, you notice Simon move and the next thing you feel is the heavy weight of his arm over your shoulder.
You tense for a second, looking up at him, finally making eye contact with him and he says: “Sorry, luv. My arm was getting numb, you don't mind, do you?”
You shake your head, unable to speak. Simon's eyes on you, feel like a truck lying on your chest, but still, you can't peel your eyes away.
He looks down at your lips and you unconsciously lick your lips, an almost unnoticed groan leaving his throat. He caresses your arm making you jump and you get goosebumps all over your body.
“You two should make out.” Soap suddenly says, making you both look at him like he just grew a second head. Ghost is not the only one that has gotten comfy; Gaz and Soap are currently cuddling, legs tangled and Soap's head resting on Gaz's chest. “Yeah, Ghost's about to bust a nut just for looking at you, bonnie.”
You whip your head back to look at his crotch, and for the milliseconds before he covers himself you can feel the protruding bulge of his boner trying to break free from his pants. 
The little horny monster on your brain is rattling at the bar of your enclosure, urging you to just throw at him. It's been too long since you got laid and Ghost it's obviously reciprocating your feelings.
Gaz starts to chuckle with Soap, your irrational mind tells you that if anything they are laughing at Ghost, but your brain only tells you that they are laughing at you. Because maybe Ghost has a boner, but you are looking up at him, opening and closing your mouth like a fish and overall looking like an idiot.
Ashamed of yourself you start to stand up from the bed. “I'm going to sleep.” You vaguely feel Ghost's hand on your wrist, not fast enough to keep you in. And you leave the room keeping their complaints about not wanting you to leave inside.
You practically run to your room, throwing yourself on your bed, tears pricking your eyes from humiliation. And you would have cried if a knock on your door didn't interrupted you.
“What?!”
“It's me, can I come in, love?”
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qwimchii · 1 year ago
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𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 (pt. 1) — 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘺
playlist pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3 pt. 4 pt. 5 pt. 6 pt. 7 pt. 8 (10/24)
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𝘨𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳!𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘹 𝘧!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 — 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘯 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘵'𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘭𝘢𝘸, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘸𝘤 — 17.7𝘬 (crying TT)
𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦 — 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵, 𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵
𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴/𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘴 — 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘢𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘩𝘰𝘭, 𝘴𝘮𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 & 𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢, 𝘨𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳!𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵, 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘥𝘰𝘮!𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵, 𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘯!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘵!𝘢𝘶, 141𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘨!𝘢𝘶, 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 (10𝘺𝘳𝘴), 𝘤𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘴, 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬, 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘥𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯
note: the year is circa 1908 and 10 years after the spanish-american war (1898). reader has long hair bc i felt like that was historically accurate... hope that's ok &lt;3
header gunslinger ghost render by @ave661
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you had heard the whispers on the horizon.
the whole town buzzed with a sort of energy—a swirling mass of dusty brown and gurgling in your stomach.
anxiety. you saw it on passerby faces through Daddy’s saloon, the bouncing knee of your mama under the table while you said grace at dinner. she never bounced her knee. it was a strict habit she trained you out of from a young age. claimed that it wasn’t proper for a young, unmarried lady like yourself.
that morning, when you stood over the wash bin in front of the dusty mirror, you wiped at your face with an old washcloth and smoothed the lines of your face like your mama taught you.
Ghost was coming to town.
no matter how you brushed your hair, the dust climbing through the desert coated it in a thin, particulate grime. Mama tightened your corset as you shoved your toes into leather heeled boots.
“remember yourself, girl,” she spoke lowly. “remember your manners. behave for once and don’t embarrass your daddy.”
you only rolled your eyes at her hissed warnings. you had met with Daddy’s business partners over several dinners where you put on your best show to pour them a glass of Daddy’s fancy bourbon all the way from kentucky.
these were the rules: you don’t speak to them unless spoken to, and you let them touch you however they please.
you shuddered, stomach curling at the thought of the last dinner. Mr. Turner’s wrinkled hand had slid up your thigh and you twisted away in reflex, accidentally knocking a bottle of bourbon onto the floor that shattered and soaked the hem of his wife’s fancy dress.
she had screamed at you and your daddy’s face had gone red, sending you a look of warning. Mama barely spared you a glance as she pulled you down to the floor to clean it up, pinching the skin of your arm in frustration.
you couldn’t tell if it felt worse to have Mr. Turner’s hand squeezing at your thigh or to be at your knees in front of him.
the strings of your corset pulled tight and you bit back a gasp as Mama tied it deftly with the practiced curl of her rough hands. you put on your best blouse and tucked it into a navy skirt that flowed into a blue, watery circle round your ankles. looking into the mirror, you thought your mama looked so much more poised and ready than you.
with a shaky exhale, you turned to her and she slapped at your face. you winced at the sting it left on your cheek.
“you’ll be fine.”
you felt far from it, trailing after her as the orange sun bled through the grimey windows, a blanket of dust settling on them in the windy evening. you had scrubbed them only yesterday.
settling yourself behind the expanse of Daddy’s bar, you smoothed over the dark wood. the saloon was eerily empty and quiet, a silent omen of Ghost’s arrival approaching. he had sent word only a few days ago. he had urgent business with Daddy and he was coming. now.
as you shuffled through Daddy’s whiskey collection, rearranging and wiping bottles down, you remembered the legends that alcoholics brought in every other week. another story on Ghost—the masked iron harbinger of death and justice. he wasn’t a sheriff, a good and honorable christian, or a vigilante. he was a bounty hunter, a cold-hearted gunslinger with a nasty sore spot for bourbon, money, and women. someone who disappeared without a trace, shooting out runaway criminals, bringing back carcasses for an extra dime.
he wasn’t even human.
a ghost. or so you heard.
you combed through the alcoholic contents, anxiously placing them and replacing them. your mama would be calling you to dinner any second and lead you to the table, Daddy at the head and Ghost at the other, right next to your spot where his hand would be on your thigh, eyes burning into the curve of your cheek. 
swallowing, you leaned against the bar top. you wanted to run away. you didn’t know how much longer you could go—how many more business partners Daddy would work with to expand his saloon chain. how much longer until he would be selling his daughter’s honor for a bigger investment…
the familiar click and chime of the saloon doors swinging open came from behind. you crossed your arms and didn’t turn to see who it was. you knew Mama would’ve had your head for being so rude.
“saloon’s closed,” you called out, “Daddy’s got business with—”
“Ghost.”
you stiffened and uncrossed your arms to peer over your shoulder.
there, at the entrance of the saloon, stood a broad and tall figure, hips thick and laden with a gun holster. he hooked his fingers on his belt, embroidered silver buckle glimmering in the red hours of the evenings. his backlit silhouette stark against the sunset made it hard to make out anything else, but you were sure when you saw the shine of his red mask and the wide berth of his black Stetson, a silver skull and crossbones clasped to its brim.
Daddy’s got business with Ghost.
you were frozen. the casual way his thick gloved hand settled on his revolver sent tremors through you.
“you’re supposed to be at dinner with Daddy,” you said, throat tight, and he trudged forward, boots heavy on the wood floorboards. he walked with a heady weight, and as he neared, you could make out the darkness of his eyes piercing through his skull mask.
“wanted bourbon.”
you stared at him for a long moment. he sat at a barstool, all his weight and broadness settled over the bartop. whatever trance you were in broke when he tipped his head at you in question—or impatience, you couldn’t discern. probably the latter.
you fumbled for a kentucky bourbon. you had done this a million times over at the saloon, but the crackle of the air and his gaze following your every move had your hands wobbling. the shaky clink of the bourbon bottle against the glass grappled with the silence of the room. suddenly, you felt hyper aware of the looseness of your blouse when you bent to pour his bourbon. you didn’t dare look up into his gaze.
“you scared of me?” his accent was foreign and grating and sent shivers down your spine. you should’ve been hollering for your mama at this point, but you felt rooted to the spot. 
shakily, you exhaled. “no.”
when you pulled back, you watched in amazement as he pulled up the bottom of his black mask, revealing a canvas of pale skin, dark stubble, and a strong jawline that pulled into a tight frown on his lips. a litter of scars shone silver in the light when he tipped back to drain the glass of bourbon.
when he placed the empty glass back on the table, he reached into the inner pocket of his black trench coat and pulled out a cigarette. you flinched when his heavy gaze ran over you.
“light me up, lovely?”
you nodded dumbly, reaching for the lighter under the countertop and held it out to him. he looked up at you, unmoving, and you blinked in confusion before his gloved hand gripped your wrist with a tightness.
he moved your hand with his own, thumbing over the sparkwheel till the flame jumped to life and leaned his mouth forward to tip his cigarette into the flame.
your whole body felt light and fiery—like you were floating a bit off the ground, shoulders drawn with a tightness. a sharp exhale left you when he finally released you, the skin of your wrist tingling in the memory of his leather grip.
smoke clouded your eyes in a haze and you blinked rapidly, quickly wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand. he huffed, corners of his lips twitching, a dark gleam in his eye. his rested his hand against the countertop, smoke trailing up in the room and you watched his lips part like he was about to say something—
Mama strode into the room, freezing at the entrance of the back door behind the counter. you had never seen her so tense, her eyes moving from you, to the hulking man smoking a cigarette.
“welcome, sir,” she greeted and he only nodded, pulling his mask back down as he snuffed out his cigarette in an ashtray.
it was like you remembered yourself in that moment, that the man across from you was Ghost, the bounty hunter, the murderer, and the devil. you shuffled away into her side when Ghost stood. her arm was tight when it circled your waist, and you mustered all your strength not to shake. Mama’s gaze was on him but Ghost was only staring at you.
you stared at the floor instead.
“this way, sir,” she said, gate polite and posture poised as she led you and Ghost to the dining room through the back of the saloon’s supply and storage to the other side of the building where he was supposed to enter.
his footsteps were heavy behind you and the hair on your neck prickled. you scurried forward but it was like you could feel his warm breath down your back.
when you found Daddy, it was almost a crushing relief to see the sweeping calm on his half-lidded face at the dinner table. he was so charming, you were sure he could use his business skills to weasel out of this. like he had a million times before.
Mama’s steaming food was laid out over the table—buttered chicken, thick mashed potatoes, greasy green beans with bacon bits. you tried to move to sit on the opposite side of the table, far away from Ghost, but your daddy’s eyes pinned you with a warning and you grimaced, sitting carefully next to him. Ghost’s gaze burned your face.
“Ghost,” Daddy greeted, “pleasure to see you again.”
he only grunted, mask pulled tight over his features. you couldn’t see anything but the dark swirl of his eyes. he didn’t even take off his hat at the table.
you glanced at your mother’s face by Daddy but her eyes were intent, focused on Ghost. she didn’t seem to care at all. you shifted in your seat. you knew Ghost was a very special guest, but not even special guests were above Mama’s rules.
“what brings you to our small town?”
Mama nudged you under the table with her foot, and you kept yourself from rolling your eyes, standing to serve Ghost food. you carefully dished it on his plate neatly, just like Mama taught you, but he didn’t even spare the food a glance.
“i was at your saloon in jackson county.” you froze briefly. jackson county is a long way from the west. he must’ve traveled day and night to reach your small town embedded in tumbleweeds and dust.
his head tipped thoughtfully so you couldn’t see his eyes anymore under the width of his hat. “it’s a nice place. good kentucky bourbon.”
Daddy smiled but his eyes narrowed. you were about to dump a spoonful of mashed potatoes on Ghost’s plate but he gripped your wrist lightly.
“i’m alright,” he said low, and your spine prickled. there was a warning in it, so you sat back in your seat, leaning to the furthest edge away from him. you dreaded the moment his gloved palm would glide up your thigh.
“why are you here, Ghost?” Daddy asked again, his hand reaching down below the table. you imagined it resting on the holster, revolver lodged against his hip. 
Ghost leaned forward.
“first, you tell me why I saw Turner’s boys loitering around jackson county.”
Daddy went pale in a way you’ve never seen before and Mama shifted uncomfortably. her knee was bouncing again.
“nearly got my head shot off. had to comb my way through texas to lose ‘em.” Ghost’s eyes narrowed in the dimness of the dining room.
“you know how i feel about the Turner boys, Henry.”
you shivered at his low tone. what the hell was going on?
there was a calculated thickness in Daddy’s voice. it blanketed all the desperation in his clenched jaw. “i needed investors, Ghost. Turner was the highest bidder.”
“do you need a reminder of who built your business from scratch in the first place?”
your brows raised. Daddy did business with Ghost?
“no i remember. i also remember how you high-tailed it out of here when the Turner boys showed up five years ago.”
you jumped in your seat when Daddy stood and placed his revolver on the dinner table. Mama gasped and murmured something like disapproval that Daddy ignored. it gleamed in the low light and your jaw clamped.
“i’m not afraid of you, Ghost. Turner’s protecting me now.”
Ghost’s silence was deadly, his hulking form too relaxed, but you could see his hand twitch where it lay on his holster. was this going to lead to a shootout?
you tried to convey your silent question in the way that you peered into the curve of his mask but his eyes were dead set on Daddy.
“Turner is protecting you now?”
“yes.” 
Ghost stared up at your daddy for a long time before his gaze traveled to you. you reached deep inside you to muster the courage and stare unflinchingly back.
“i want my money back, Henry.” it was a low deadly whisper, his eyes never leaving you. Daddy balked.
“you know i can’t do that.”
“but you can. and i want my money back or i can take something much more precious.”
his gloved hand came up to stroke at your cheek and you bit back a hiss, biting down on your lower lip. Mama stood now, clutching at Daddy’s arm.
“you won’t, you devil!” she cried and Ghost gripped firmly at your jaw, razor eyes digging into you. a tight hand around his wrist, you tried to pry him off but he was too strong. he wouldn’t budge. a traitorous tear spilled from the corner of your eye. Ghost brushed it away with his thumb.
“you have no honor,” your Daddy whispered and Ghost went lax. you pushed his hand away and pressed yourself to the back of your chair in a ball.
a new boiling anger built in you. you were being used again as another part in Daddy’s business transactions.
“you sell your daughter to investors for a buck. do you really want to talk about honor?” he chewed out the words and you shuddered, holding your breath to keep down the sobs that threatened to push up into your lungs.
“i protected you. this was my territory. i had men in your town and i made sure no bandits came near your saloons and i made sure none left alive. then, you went to work with Turner instead.” Ghost stood at the table, revolver in hand. he cocked the gun and Mama shrieked.
“this is a fair trade. give me my investment back or i’ll take her instead.” the barrel of his revolver slowly swung from Daddy to you. in his black suit in bloody mask, Ghost truly did look like the devil. you wanted to shake, to cry and scream and sob, but only a venomous anger spread through you.
what did Ghost know about fairness? 
“if i go it’s on my terms,” you hissed under your breath and Ghost’s eyes swiveled to you. Mama began to shout in protest but he pointed the revolver dead above her browline and your Daddy hissed, picking up his own revolver and cocking it.
“what’re your terms, lovely?” he asked in a low tone.
“you leave my Mama and Daddy alone.” with a harsh swallow, you wiped at the tears on your cheeks. “i can ride a horse. i can shoot well ‘cause Daddy taught me. i know how to pour a glass and tend a bar. i can read and write. i know good manners and i can talk smart when i need it.
Ghost’s eyes were half-lidded as he looked down on you, sitting as straight as you possibly could at the dinner table. your Daddy’s revolver was trained on Ghost now.
“i won’t get in the way. take me instead of the money.”
Ghost blinked. “what’re my terms?”
you hesitated, voice cracked wide open. “you…you’ll own me.”
his eyes narrowed. “body and soul?”
you nodded slowly, feeling your anger deflate as your mama began to sob. 
“body and soul.” you screwed your eyes shut, head dipping forward. the devil.
“Henry?”
your Daddy looked weakly at Ghost, his shoulders falling. he looked meek and small and not even half the smart man you thought he was. his revolver clattered to the dinner table in defeat and you didn’t spare him a glance when you stood from the dinner table to trudge up the stairs and pack your things, the food sprawled across the dinner table cold and forgotten.
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you didn’t have time to think about what you needed or what to say goodbye to. the stuffed bear your daddy got you for your tenth birthday lay discarded among your bedsheets. old letters from the girls in town were strewn off your desk as you dug for stationary. you stopped midway when you realized there was no way Ghost would let you write your parents on the move through the west.
was this your new life? confined to bounty hunting and running from foes? living as a ghost?
you shivered, shoving blouses and skirts and a canteen on your nightstand into a knapsack. you pulled out the drawer of your dresser and dug under more clothes to find a revolver and pack of ammo. Mama would beat you if she ever knew it was there and that’s why you always kept it hidden.
you loaded up the cylinder, pushing the bullets into each chamber and ramming the cylinder back in place.
“gearing up to kill me?”
you froze and looked over your shoulder to find Ghost crowding your doorway. for someone of his stature, he moved too quietly. usually, you would be embarrassed at the mess dispersed across the floor, your undergarments at a pile by his dusty boots.
but you just narrowed your eyes, ignoring him as you carded through your room, collecting random essentials. matches, money, your sharpest letter opener, and in a last second grab, your journal.
he watched all your movements with an eerie silence.
“i’m not planning on keeping you forever.” he stepped forward till he was just a short arm length from your back. his voice was cold.
“your daddy’ll try and kill me first, then he’ll cough up the money eventually. it’s a temporary trade off.”
“i’m not one of your business transactions,” you snapped, and he blinked at you.
“‘course not.”
his words weren’t convincing. you tried to squeeze past him but his outstretched arm blocked your path. you almost snapped at him again but shrunk back when his steady eyes pinned you down. he crowded you back until you blindly hit the dresser. 
your neck craned up. he was so much bigger than you.
the swell of his chest with each breath almost brushed against you, and you squirmed under his intense gaze.
“you offered yourself up to me,” he said, calculated. “why?”
you swallowed down the anxious gurgling in your stomach. “you wouldn’t believe me.”
“tell me anyway.”
“i hate it here.”
he cocked his head at you. “the rich girl wants to become a bounty hunter?”
you frowned, raising the revolver and digging it into his stomach. “don’t think that i could?”
he gave you a long look before tipping his hat and stepping back. “didn’t say that, lovely.”
you whispered it under your breath. “devil.”
the grip on his holster tightened. “maybe. but i know how to be a gentleman.”
he picked up the knapsack on your bed, despite your grumble of protest, and slung it over his shoulder. 
“don’t worry. i’ll take real good care of you, princess.”
you could only imagine a smug smirk hidden by the shroud of his mask as he walked out your bedroom.
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it was surreal watching the tears stream down Mama’s face as she cupped your face in her hands. facing them now, you searched your daddy’s eyes for an ounce of anger or fight. 
just give him the money, you wanted to scream at your daddy, but he stared straight through you and the hands that clutched at your face.
Ghost watched from a distance, arms curled over his chest, leaning against a fence post that his black stallion was tied to, leisurely grazing at the dry tufts of grass. your horse, Sugar, stamped in the dirt nearby, kicking up dust. Ghost’s dark gaze pierced you even at a distance.
Daddy could never out gun Ghost even if he tried.
you startled when Mama pulled you into a tight hug. she hissed low and angry, “you wait till he falls asleep and you kill him, you hear me?” she pinched at the skin of your arm. “you put three bullets in that devil’s heart and you run back to us.” 
she brushed hair away from your face, sweeping away the dust on the crown of your head. “okay?”
you nodded, swallowing, throat bone dry.
“you’ll be fine.”
those were her final words when your daddy led you to your horse and let you clamber up into your saddle. Ghost looked at you expectantly from over his shoulder as your daddy patted your knee.
“i’m sorry, sweetheart.” 
no you’re not.
you looked into his charming face, a twisted look on his lips. his eyes were tired.
“goodbye, Daddy.”
you took one look over the small town and the dust that blew through it. Ghost turned his horse into the dying light of the day and you dug the heel of your boot into the flank of your mare, tightening the reins, and took off after Ghost. soon, your mama and daddy become a dot in the horizon, and you almost suppressed a smile.
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you weren’t sure how long you rode. it felt like hours, dust kicking up in a big cloud after the pair of you into the dark night. you only stopped every hour or so to let the horses rest up, drink, feed and you were off again. you should’ve been tired but you were so high with exhilaration, lungs burning with exertion from the long ride, that you almost didn’t catch Ghost’s call to rest drifting over the wind rushing in your ears.
your chest was put through the wringer, panting as you slid off your horse. 
“good girl, Sugar.” you slapped at her dapple gray shoulder. she snorted, tossing her mane anxiously.
as you traveled further into…wherever you were, the cacti and low brush built up into bushes and weedy looking trees. into a forest.
Ghost lit the lantern strung up on his saddle bags and gave you a sharp, wordless look before leading his horse by the reins further into the woods. you followed him, head on a swivel at the unfamiliar surroundings.
you were used to the big, brown, orange flat canvas of your small town. the green grass underfoot was unusual and the trees cast long, distorting shadows. you startled, stopping short when you heard an foreign call from the woods. Sugar huffed nervously, big nostrils twitching as she stamped her hoof.
“it’s a coyote,” Ghost grumbled, not stopping for your shenanigans. you scurried after him, hyper aware of the encompassing darkness around you and what may be lurking beyond it.
soon, a big structure obstructing the woods came into view and Ghost lifted his lantern to reveal a small wooden cabin. by the side, he tied up his black stallion on a fence post next to a hay feeder and water bin. when he stared at you, unmoving, you quickly followed suit and fumbled to unsaddle Sugar, carrying your knapsack inside and following after his heavy footsteps.
you’re like a lost puppy, a voice grumbled in annoyance. he’s always ten steps in front of you.
you shook away the thought and stepped into the cabin, watching Ghost as he lit the oil lamps littered around the room. there was a miniscule kitchen pressed in the corner, a desk by your side, and a bed on the other. the bed was small. very small.
you cleared your throat. “where are we?”
Ghost didn’t pause to acknowledge you, shucking his trench coat and rolling up the sleeves of his black suit, exposing the skin of his forearms. for a long moment, as he rummaged through a bag, you thought he would ignore you. but your silent stare was relentless.
“border of southern california.”
your brows rose. you weren’t sure how far that was from home, or how you could possibly find your way back. 
“and this cabin…?”
he paused to give you a brief look. “you ask a lot of questions.” his voice was pinched with annoyance.
“you don’t talk enough,” you shot back, tensing up. if you were going to be dragged around by this man for months, you thought you at least deserved to know where you were. or what the hell was going on.
he grumbled under his breath. “s’my safe house. we’re stayin’ for the night.”
the night. you nodded, feeling meek, remembering what Mama said. smoothing a hand over your chest, you shifted between feet in the doorway.
you can do this.
Ghost had his back turned to you, pouring his canteen of water into a pot and pouring a bag of something else in it that came out in a pebbled rush. for the devil himself, at least he knew how to cook.
“you gonna sit?”
feeling embarrassed, you moved to sit on the bed, the old mattress sagging under your weight. you kept smooth a hand over your blouse, carding a hand through your hair, till you got tired of it and wove them into messy braids and undid them again.
Ghost huffed, moving from the kitchen to the desk, putting his hat down. you stared.
“relax. no need to be so worked up.”
you nodded. “right.”
his eyes bore holes into you, and you took that as your que, swallowing as you began to unbutton the clasp at the top of your blouse. you paused when Ghost’s breath tapered, turning sharply away.
his accent thickened. “what are you doing?”
“i-i thought—”
“you thought wrong.” his words were cutting.
maybe you should’ve felt relief but you only squirmed in confusion. “body and soul?” you mumbled weakly, and he slowly turned back to you.
you fumbled with your hands awkwardly.
“i don’t bed rich, prissy girls,” he grinded out and you almost balked in defense, but you thought better of it from the way his grip tightened on his holster.
but you couldn’t hold your tongue long enough—
“who do you bed then? whores?” your brow arched against your will as you tilted your head. his eyes narrowed beneath the mask.
“careful, princess.” he grabbed something from a cabinet in the kitchen. “i’m the one who’s keeping you alive.”
a gloved hand held out a plate of some dried fruit and biscuits. a piece of jerky as well. you held your stomach.
you hadn’t touched a morsel of your mama’s food over that tense dinner, which seemed like years ago, and you were too nervous for Ghost’s arrival to eat lunch either. swallowing, you reached a hand out and Ghost pulled the plate back from your grasp.
you almost hissed at him.
“i thought you said you knew manners?” 
biting your lip, you sat up straighter and politely crossed an ankle over the other, smoothing your hands over your lap. 
“may i please have some food, sir?”
his voice sounded uncharacteristically smug. “you’re a good listener.”
you snatched the plate from him, his words thrumming low in your stomach. kicking off your boots and neatly lining them up by the nightstand, you politely curled your legs to the side and smoothed down your skirt to eat. Mama never let you eat on the bed, but you had snuck up meals some late nights. you almost felt giddy—as if you were breaking the rules when you were eight years old again.
Ghost watched you eat in silence before getting his own plate. the same thrill from that evening soared in your stomach when he tugged up his black mask to reveal his strong jawline and pinkish mouth. you noticed a silvery scar on his upper lip.
“did your father make you do that stuff?” you paused mid-bite of your biscuit, slowly chewing.
you swallowed. “what stuff?”
the twist of his lips seemed like exasperation. “going to bed with strangers.”
you flinched, and it was like an icy cold reminder that Ghost was a stranger—just as much as your daddy’s business partners.
“no.”
Ghost cocked his head. “that so?”
you nodded. “Daddy just had touchy customers.”
you quickly rephrased, putting down the plate on your lap. “but i can if you need me to. for your customers, you know.”
you knew you would need to be of use to Ghost in the coming months, if tonight didn’t go according to plan. the thought spurred on your heart, a looming dread clambering up your spine.
Ghost mouth twisted. “i don’t need you in that way.”
you blinked, frowning. “how do you need me then?”
“just….” he was frowning deeply now. “just do what you’re doing now.”
“what’s that?”
“bein’ polite.” he shrugged, putting down his empty plate. you felt disappointed when he tugged back down the mask. “bein’ a good girl.”
the funny thing is, being polite and a good girl was probably one of the things you were worst at in Mama’s eyes, but looking at Ghost, and the way he brandished his gun over the dinner table like a toy… your manners weren’t too bad at all.
you wondered when was the last time he stepped in a church.
finishing the last bits of dinner, Ghost excused himself to disappear into the woods, and you took the moment of privacy to quickly change into a nightgown, conscious of the way it exposed your collarbones and chest. 
you also took the moment to plan out the night, searching into your knapsack to find the familiar handle of your revolver. you tested the weight of it in your hand, before putting it back into the sack. if Ghost was a gentleman, as he attested, he would let you sleep on the bed. that means he would, most likely, sleep on the floor. and if he didn’t… you would just have to convince him that he needed to.
you closed your eyes to imagine leaning over your bed at night, the slow swell of his chest as you aimed the revolver right at his heart and pulled the trigger. three times.
you shivered violently, a chill passing over you.
“cold?”
you stiffened when Ghost stepped back into the cabin, pulling the door shut behind him. you nodded, but the movement felt restrained, fists balled as you crossed them over your chest.
“mhmm.”
he jerked his head to the bed.
“take the bed. i’ll be sleepin’ outside.”
you balked, fist clenching and unclenching.
“but…what about Mr. Turner’s men?”
he turned still, hand twitching at his holster.
“they won’t find us for days. don’t worry about them.”
“but…” Ghost moved to grab his saddlebag. 
“i’m scared,” you whispered, and he paused, peering at you through the mask. you gave him a meek look. it’s wasn’t a complete lie. you’ve been half-scared since he walked into Daddy’s saloon unannounced.
he sighed, long and hard. “alright, princess.” he pulled out a balled up blanket from his saddlebag and laid it on the floor, and you went lax with relief, lifting the covers of the bed to slide into them.
you stiffened again when you realized the sheets smelled of him—sweet bourbon, cigarettes, and an earthy musk like mud and woods. cheek nestled into the pillow, you watched him unbutton his vest, pull off his holster, and undo his bolo tie, placing them on the desk neatly.
you half-expected him to take off his mask, too, but he made no move towards it as turned off the oil lamps in the room. a bit disappointed, you turned to the wall once the room was shrouded with darkness.
quiet shuffling ensued, until there was a complete silence and his even breaths in the dark. it would’ve been easy to let sleep overtake you if the spike of your heavy heart wasn’t thrumming in your throat and a biting fear wasn’t corded in the back of your brain.
it took a conscious reminder to remember the large lump of man on the floor was a murderer. a cold-blooded one, too. he was a rich bounty hunter and hunting was his sport. he was a killer. he wasn’t here to feed you or take care of you. he was as sinful as they came.
you slowly shifted in the bed, reaching down into the knapsack on the floor by the bed. you groped until you felt a familiar cold, embroidered handle. 
you wait till he falls asleep and you kill him, you hear me?
your mama’s voice rang in your ears as you sat up on the edge of the bed. Ghost was flat on the ground, a blanket drawn up to his waist, arms crossed over his chest. your breath hitched in the dark. 
you put three bullets in that devil’s heart and you run back to us.
you stopped short at that, poisonous questions blooming in your head. it was dangerous, hesitating in the dark like this, looming over one of the most dangerous men in the west who had just, essentially, stolen you, with a loaded gun in your hand.
but your head was running away from you—how would you get home from here? did you have the supplies needed? you didn’t have the tracking skills Ghost evidently showed on your ride to the cabin, nor expertise in medical emergencies. did you even want to go home?
you stared at the side of Ghost’s mask, its red a cool blue gleam in the dark.
you could live the life of a gunslinger like Ghost—a merciless bounty hunter who murdered for money. you could imagine it, even now. shootouts with outlaws and playing friends with sheriffs to get big payouts. but… it would be under the pretense of being Ghost’s property.
you shuddered at the thought. as long as you were by Ghost’s side, you would be his captive. a precious pawn in a trade off—a hostage to use against your daddy and Turner. just another business transaction and you to take advantage of.
a small click in the dark seized you from your thoughts. Ghost’s black eyes peered up at you. cursing in surprise, your clammy hands dropped the revolver, and it clattered to the floor. you fumbled around for it and hugged it to your stomach, heart beating out of your throat.
he rested the revolver in his hand leisurely against his chest. too leisurely.
a bead of sweat slid down your temple when you realized he just cocked his gun. you didn’t remember him taking it out of his holster when he placed it on the desk. 
always ten steps ahead of you.
“gearing up to kill me?”
your mouth opened and closed, failing to shape out words. his gaze narrowed.
“m’scared remember?” was all you could choke out, a shiver gripping you intensely. you tried to play it off with a careless shrug, but you knew he couldn’t possibly fall for that.
your skin felt cold but his stare was hot.
“scared of what? the dark? the coyotes outside, Tuner’s boys?” his voice was dangerously soft. “...or me?”
you almost whimpered. “i’m not scared of you.”
the fabric of his mask stretched and the crumple at his eyes let you know he was smiling. it was more threatening than anything.
“let’s say you’re not scared of me…” he rested his revolver on the floor and he shifted onto his side to face you fully. “...and let’s say you didn’t just try to kill me.”
you grimaced under his piercing stare. “put down the gun, lovely.”
you complied and he practically purred. “you still scared?”
shaking your head slowly, your knee betrayed you and began to bounce.
“let’s say you’re not scared of me, and you didn’t try to kill me, but you’re scared of the dark and the coyotes…” you balked when he opened the covers of his makeshift bed to you. “come here.”
you stayed rooted to the spot, knee freezing mid-bounce. his arms were open, mask twinkling in the moonlight, but you knew in his unflinching gaze that he was being very serious.
“come here,” he commanded, and you stood stiffly, shuffling forward to crawl into the blankets. his strong arm hooked around your waist and you muffled a squeak when he pulled you down. 
you were pulled into his broad chest, warm and strong at your back and you almost melted if it weren’t for the fact that the man behind you was a cold-blooded murderer and the devil reincarnated.
his gloved hands crept beneath your shoulders around to your throat and pressed to the flying pulse of your neck. he hummed low in your ear, mask brushing the shell of it. the smell of smoke, woody musk, and bourbon filled your nose.
“sure you’re not scared, lovely?”
your jaw clenched. “yes.”
“really?”
his hand crept down from your throat to your collarbone and a loud gasp escaped you when he firmly pressed a palm to the flesh just above your breast. you knew he felt your heart’s fast thrum through the cotton of your nightgown.
“why’s your heart beatin’ so fast then?”
when the silence permitted, he offered you, “nervous?” his voice dropped an octave, low and throaty. “ever lie like this with a man before?”
you were as stiff as a board, a foreign warmth brewing in you that made your skin prickle and crawl, spluttering unintelligible sounds, when suddenly, he released you and you scrambled out of the sheets back onto the bed, pressing yourself to the wall.
he huffed a series of breaths that sounded like quiet laughter. you were just about to kill him. what was so funny about that?
like he heard your thoughts, he turned onto his back and crossed his arms again.
“would be concerned if you didn’t at least try to kill me.” Ghost closed his eyes. “you gonna try and run if i sleep?”
you stared at the side of his face. “no.”
he nodded. “good. there’s a lot more dangerous things in the desert than coyotes, princess.”
like you, you thought weakly, burrowing yourself back into the covers, face heating up when the smell of him against the pillow filled your head again.
your plans had just gone more than horribly wrong. with a heartfelt apology to your mama ringing heavy in your mind, twisting in the sheets, you tried to let sleep take you.
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you barely slept that night. tossing and turning in the sheets, you listened for the sinister calls of wildlife just beyond the cabin, and the slow breaths from the floor. though a primal sense inside you let you know that Ghost probably wasn’t sleeping.
but you don’t remember when the sun came up, its first burning embers casting a thin glow in the room. you must’ve fallen asleep at some point because Ghost is gone in the morning, room eerily quiet and empty.
you take the moment to redress in your corset, loose white button up, a buckskin split skirt with fringe, pulling on your boots as you shove everything back into your knapsack. groping around for a familiar embroidered handle, you pause when you realize your revolver has gone amiss.
you sling the knapsack over your shoulder and find Ghost perched down by a fire outside, stoking at its flames. he’s back in his expensive full attire, black suit fresh in the morning light. he only spares you a glance over his shoulder before continuing to stir something in a pot hung up over the fire. 
you dropped your knapsack to the ground.
“where’s my revolver?”
he scooped up a spoonful of the stuff into two bowls and grabs something from his bag. he waves your revolver in the air with one hand wordlessly.
“revolver privileges revoked.”
“why?” you knew why, but you wanted to hear it nonetheless.
standing to his full height, he turned and gave you a look under the mask that you could only imagine as disapproval. he didn’t give you an answer.
“eat,” he commanded, handing a bowl to you.
you looked into the bowl to find a watery soup of beans and a dry biscuit half soaked in the liquid. not your finest meal but you were grateful for it. 
you eyed Ghost’s broad stature sitting on a log by the fire. he must’ve soaked the beans last night in that pot of water. if you, after last night’s events, weren’t going to try and kill him, or run away, you could at least play nice. for your revolver mostly.
you politely sat next to him on the log, curling your legs to the side and hooking one ankle over the other. taking small bites, you ate with the best manners you could muster without a table in front of you.
you felt Ghost’s gaze burning a question into your cheek, but you ignored it, feigning innocence.
you cleared your throat, nodding. “thank you for the food.”
he scoffed. “it’ll take a lot more to get your revolver back than that.”
you glared at him as he stood to resaddle his horse and tie his saddlebag down. finishing your food in a couple more quick bites, you moved to do the same, but stopped short when Ghost untied the reins of Sugar to bind her to his stallion.
“what’re you doing?” 
Ghost gave you a meaningful look but said nothing, heaving himself up onto the stallion. huffing with frustration, you grabbed the bridle of his horse who whinied in surprise.
“what are you doing with my horse?”
Ghost cocked his head at you. “you’re stayin’ here, princess.”
what?
“what?” 
“food’s in the pantry. take what you want. don’t wander more than a quarter of a mile from the cabin, you’ll get lost. i’ll be back before sunset.”
he began to turn his stallion away from you, but you held fast on the bridle, jerking its head back towards you. the horse huffed and stomped in retaliation.
“where are you going?”
Ghost just stared at you. “into town.”
you took a sharp breath, racking in your head. “i’ll run away.”
his tone was cold. “on foot? you’re not that stupid.”
“i will. i don’t care. you’ll never get your money if i’m dead of starvation… or…” you shuddered, “coyotes.”
he took you in for a long moment. “these were your terms, lovely.”
you ignored him. “i’m useful. i am. i’m useful for…” you trailed off. “business.”
“i know what you’re useful for.” his eyes narrowed. “you’re most useful right here, in this camp, far away from my business.”
that blow landed right in your gut. “i’ll build a big fire,” you whispered, “and it’ll alert Turner’s men. they’ll find me and bring me back to my daddy.”
he turned away. “do you really want them to find you? when they’ll do lord knows what to a young lady like you?”
every bit of the fight burning in you deflated, snuffed by his sharp words and harrowing logic. you felt small and defeated as you watched Ghost spur his horse on, Sugar trailing after them. a miserable feeling bloomed in your stomach.
is this what your daddy felt like last night at the dinner table?
“i’ll be back before sunset,” he called over his shoulder and took off into the early morning light in a cloud of dust.
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time alone went slower than you could possibly imagine. you don’t remember the last time you were alone like this—your mama always hovering over your shoulder, or the girls in town spurring you to embroider and scrapbook with them, or maybe go shopping, even when you’d rather tend to the saloon and make an extra buck when you sang an a pretty song for the alcoholics.
your hands ached to do something, so you laid back in the afternoon sun and whittled at a branch with your letter opener. 
once you got tired of that, you began writing aimless entries in your journal with Ghost’s quill and ink on the desk, then, addressing your daddy and mama in a futile letter, vented that Ghost had run off into town for business. what business, you itched to know. 
later, you stretched back on the bed in your full attire and boots, which Mama would sorely disapprove of, and blinked away the sun that streamed through the greasy window panes. lids drooping, you found yourself falling into a deep slumber.
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you awoke with a start, sweat pooling under your back, blouse sticking to your skin. the sun was settling lazily into the horizon, far into the hours after noon. it was darker than before, a blue tinge across the sky like it was on the verge of storming.
with a lazy sweep of your vision across the cabin, everything untouched, you knew Ghost was still out doing business. of which you, apparently, had no use.
you stretched out over your head and froze when you heard something—a clicking rustle outside the cabin. you strained your hearing, going completely still.
then, you heard distant voices chattering.
dropping to the floor with a silent thud, you peered out the front of the window by the edge of the bed. four men stood by their horses, poking at the pot of beans outside with his boot. you silently cursed when one overturned the watery beans over the dying embers.
a man looked up at the cabin and you immediately ducked, panicking when you heard quick, heavy footsteps nail up the steps to the cabin. you scrambled backwards under the bed and pressed yourself into a ball into the furthest corner of the cabin.
one man stepped inside carefully, and you watched his feet slowly pan across the room in a circle. the warmth drained from your face when you heard the cock of a safety.
who were these people? you racked your brain for answers. Ghost said Turner’s men wouldn’t find you for days. maybe weary travelers looking for a place to stay for the night? good samaritans who could help you escape Ghost?
and never return to your family, a voice in your head added quietly. you silenced it.
he stood by the desk and listened to him rummage over it. you winced—all your letters and writings were still strewn across the desk.
“Charles!” he called. then, abruptly, he neared the bed and reached down for your knapsack on the floor. you clasped a hand to your mouth. he pulled away, your knapsack going with him.
“she was here.”
your blood ran cold. Turner’s men had arrived earlier than Ghost expected.
a second man, Charles, you presumed, stepped into the cabin. more rummaging—probably the first man holding up the letters and your belongings for Charles to see. 
“they went to town. says so in the letters.” 
Charles huffed and turned on his heel back out the cabin.
“let’s move quick. Turner said the first man to lay hands on the girl gets dibs.” 
an icy drip went down your back.
low, raucous laughter and hoots ensued, and you heard more shuffling and the snorts of horses and the stamping of hooves that slowly faded into silence again. only the leaves rustling in the wind and pitched bird calls filled the cabin.
your heart was still beating out of your chest. 
Turner said the first man to lay hands on the girl gets dibs.
that shook you to your core. you wanted to run after them, to beg them to bring you back to your parents without harm, maybe bribing them with an extra sum your daddy could give them, but you knew it was futile.
you weren’t ever going back home, and you sure as hell weren’t letting Turner’s men lay their hands on you.
heaving yourself out from under the bed, you looked up at the darkening sky. a gray film was growing over it, blanketing the sun from view. a boom of thunder roiled in the distance.
you needed to move fast, somehow, to warn Ghost about Turner’s men coming for him in town. you cursed yourself for writing those letters in the first place—now, Ghost could be in danger because of you.
not that you cared much. but that devil was the closest thing to protection right now against your parents and Turner. except maybe yourself.
you picked up the knapsack that was thrown haphazardly on the floor and pulled out all your extra clothing and baggage. with only a canteen of water, and the leftover food from the pantry, the letter opener, and a box of matches, you trailed after the hoofprints left by Turner’s men, hurrying as the storm approached quickly overhead. 
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you were dripping with sweat by the time you reached the edge of town. buckling over to clasp at your knees, you held your chest as you leaned against a tree.
you did it. you tracked those men through low brush and the deep, muddy hoofprints they left behind, some bushes snagged by charging through the forest at an alarming rate.
you did it. you only hoped that Turner’s men hadn’t found Ghost before you did.
the sky was still a murky gray—you had no idea what time it was, no idea if the sun had begun setting yet. you paled at the thought of Ghost riding back to find the cabin empty, your belongings strewn across the place, cabinets empty of supplies. you felt more sick at the thought of finding the devil in a dim alleyway, three bullets in his heart.
pushing forward, you entered the busy throng of the town, its twinkling lights and loud raucous contenting with the brewing storm overhead. men had holsters strung with guns, ammo slung over their torsos like a fancy sash.
some tipped their stetson to you as you walked the cobble streets, wiping the sweat and humidity from your brow. you ignored them to the best of your ability, shuffling along faster when a group of drunks meandered close to you.
sweetheart, they called, and you, in a dizzying panic, pushed into the nearest building, its doors swinging open to a rowdy, rowdy crowd of even more drunks. some smiled at your entrance, but most were too enthralled in their card games, betting, and bourbon to care. 
you took the moment to search the snaking crowd for a familiar red mask, but you found nothing. this didn’t feel much like Ghost’s scene anyway.
shoulders sinking, you were about to step back out onto the crowded streets, where a light drizzle was pooling, when a redhead with braids rushed passed you in a tizzy. 
she almost dumped a tray full of bourbons onto you. squeaking, she steadied herself against you, and apologized in a thick drawl.
“sorry, sweetheart! didn’t see you there—” she paused, narrowing her eyes at you. immediately, you reeled back.
you really wished you had a revolver slung in your holster in that moment, because you didn’t think to realize that anybody could be one of Turner’s men.
“you…” she cocked her head and you stiffened. “you’re the new hire, aren't ‘cha!”
you blinked in shock, voice cracking. “what?”
“glad you showed up early.” she gave you an approving nod and nudged you with her shoulder. “extra trays of bourbon are in the back. you wouldn’t mind passing them out would you?”
“i-” she was gone in a flash, disappearing into the messy crowd.
you should’ve left at that moment, taking the opportunity to disappear yourself, but instead, you thought this an opportunity to get close and personal with each customer. perhaps Ghost took off his mask for business—you knew you could recognize him by his expensive black suit and the stature he carried. the low timber of his voice, and the dark swirl in his eyes.
shivering, a drift came through and you rubbed at your bare neck. you quickly moved to man the bar. an easiness settled over you at the familiarity of it, grabbing bottles of bourbon and whiskey, pouring them neatly into bar glasses on black trays. you teetered from person to person, tray balanced in your palm as you peered into the face of each man, and even woman, hunkered down at a table to get a glimpse of their profile. 
tray after empty tray, you couldn’t find the man you were looking for, no matter how many more entered. soon enough, you bumped into the redhead with braids again and she gave you a cocksure smile.
“sure you’re a new hire?” she laughed loud, cheeks red, slapping at your back. “why don’t you go help across the way at our quieter location? you know where business—” she winked, “—gets done.”
you just nodded aimlessly, too overwhelmed to question it, and she beamed. “don’t worry. it’s more beginner friendly.”
you exited the saloon with the point of her hand to a quainter location on the other side of the street. a thick rain was coming down now. rushing into the parallel saloon, it was half as loud as the other, which your ears thanked, and a thick smoke hazed the room. groups of men donned in fancy suits sat at tables strewn across the room, discussing in low voices with fat cigars between their lips.
your eyes swiveled around the room, craning your neck to peer into the furthest corner of the saloon, but still, no red mask. deflating, you jolted when a barmaid gripped at your shoulder.
“new hire?” she looked disgruntled, eyes narrowing in judgment. you took note of her attire, eerily similar to your own, with a fine cotton blouse and buckskin skirt. now, you understood who the redhead may have confused you for: a fancy barmaid for the gentleman’s club across the way.
she appeared frustrated at your lackluster response. “can you sing?”
you balked at that but said yes nonetheless. your mother had taught you, much to your chagrin. 
she nodded. “good. men were asking for a performance. i know it’s your first night, but could you give them a bone to chew on?”
“i guess so,” you spluttered, and she barely batted an eye, already pushing you to the raised platform by the bar. a man already sat with a guitar, peering at you expectantly when you stepped onto the platform. 
turning to face the audience, you felt the blood drain from your cheeks. you hadn’t sung in front of an audience this big since your school’s talent show. clearing your throat, you flashed the crowd your prettiest smile, and clasped your hands in front of you politely. the establishment quieted, save for a few low whistles, and you began to sing along for a softer rendition of the fast-paced song to the slow strum of the guitarist.
my love is a rider, wild bronchos he breaks,
though he’s promised to quit it, just for my sake.
he ties up one foot, the saddle puts on,
with a swing and a jump he is mounted and gone.
it was the only song you could remember in the moment—one the girls and you would sing wildly in the evenings after church over loud laughter and iced tea. 
my love has a gun, and that gun he can use,
but he’s quit his gun fighting as well as his booze;
and he’s sold him his saddle, his spurs, and his rope,
and there’s no more cow punching, and that’s what I hope.
your eyes searched the crowd and you held back a gasp when you met eyes with a familiar red mask. he stood near the back of the club, bracing his forearm against a wooden beam. swallowing hard, you continued.
my love has a gun that has gone to the bad,
which makes poor old Jimmy feel pretty damn sad;
for the gun it shoots high and the gun it shoots low,
and it wobbles about like a bucking broncho.
his eyes pierced you, and you couldn’t suppress the slithering shiver that crawled down your spine. you wished he was closer—right at the edge of the platform so you could look down into his brown eyes, and maybe, try to discern what he was thinking under that blood red mask.
now all you young maidens, where’er you reside,
beware of the cowboy who swings the raw-hide;
he’ll court you and pet you and leave you and go
in the spring up the trail on his bucking broncho.
the room clapped and hollered when you finished, and you couldn’t suppress the smile that stretched your cheeks as you curtsied clumsily, gaze on Ghost. he tipped his hat to you, and a loud laugh clambered into your throat. it morphed into a blood curdling scream when a revolver fired and Ghost crumpled to the floor.
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the club scrambled in a panic with loud wails, the assailant disappearing into the throng as you clawed your way to the man. he was clutching at his stomach, half-fallen against the wooden beam.
“Ghost!” 
a strangled noise strained against your throat. falling to your knees beside him, you pulled away his hand from his stomach, and you paled at the sight of the dark red coating his glove, sleeve, suit. it pooled underneath him.
quickly, you grabbed his bloodied arm and pulled it around your shoulder. there was no way you could heft his weight but you were going to try anyway.
“c’mon,” you coaxed impatiently, as he scrambled up the side of the wooden pole, trying to support his weight. a string of curses left his lips.
“you’ve got a pretty voice,” he rasped, and you almost wanted to drop his weight entirely.
“not important,” you groaned, taking slow steps out the saloon with his body strung over yours. with every step, you grimaced with effort, huffing heavily.
there was an even greater panic in the streets than in the club—a heavy, pouring onslaught coming down like a beating drum. across the way, the other saloon was being ripped apart by several men, upturning tables and firing their guns at the ceiling to clear out the place. Turner’s men.
you pulled Ghost in the opposite direction, appreciative of his black attire in the dark night, the debilitating rain, and the ensuing chaos. you tipped his hat further over that tell-tale mask. he grumbled something by your ear.
“what?” you shouted over the mix of shouts and rush of rain, stumbling when a man hurrying past clipped your shoulder.
his voice lifted. “don’t need your help.”
you rolled your eyes, head on a swivel. lodged between two buildings was an alleyway. a throng of Turner’s men overturned more establishments ahead. you made a beeline for the cramped space.
 “you’ll die.”
he huffed when you pressed him against the wall, clutching at the blood seeping from his stomach.
“no i won’t.”
you shot him a glare.
“ghosts can’t die,” he said, sounding high and delirious. he slid further down the wall, a pitched laugh escaping him.
now you knew he was really at his last wits. you racked your brain for answers. you didn’t know medical knowledge, you didn’t see an infirmary on the way here, and even if you did, you wouldn’t put it past them to turn you over to Turner’s men in an instant.
you almost screamed in frustration, tearing off the sleeve of your blouse to wrap around his middle. your hands fumbled clumsily, and Ghost must’ve at least come back to half his senses because he pushed your hands away and expertly knotted the thing despite his thick gloves. his head slumped forward into your shoulder, as if the action was so taxing, breath growing shallow against your exposed collarbone.
you slapped at the side of his face.
“do you know anyone who can get help?” you probed, unable to conceal the desperation in your voice, “anyone at all?”
he sounded smug. “people can’t help ghosts.”
you groaned, pushing his head back against the wall. he peered at you lazily, eyes half-lidded.
“if you don’t tell me something, i will rip that mask clean off your face.” that must’ve stirred something in him because his eyes flashed.
“i did not track Turner’s men for miles to find you just for you to die.” you pressed on. “they found the cabin and these stupid journal entries where i wrote that you were in the town. they didn’t know i was there and went after you. i had to warn you so i tracked them and—” he hissed when you pressed your fingers into his wound to make sure he was still conscious. “—this happened.
he huffed. “stupid girl.”
you could only nod pitifully, before squeaking in surprise when Ghost used your shoulders and the wall as leverage to lift himself.
“take me down this alleyway, then turn left.”
you immediately obeyed and half-dragged him in the direction of his rasped instructions, ending up in front of the back door of a leather crafts store. the streets were slowly emptying by the minute and every second outside in the line of gunfire felt a gaping vulnerability on your back, so you didn’t question his command to open the back door unannounced.
you also weren’t surprised to see the long snout of a rifle stuck in your face the second the door swung open. a woman in a checkered blouse and loose breeches squared her shoulders and jabbed the gun forward so it almost hit your chin where rain coalesced in a steam, falling to your boots.
“who in the devil are you?” she spat, low and deadly. she carefully eyed the man slumping against you.
a strangled warble left Ghost’s mouth, and he lifted a hand to toss off his hat. the mask must’ve been a point of recognition for her because she gasped and lurched forward, hefting up the other side of his body.
“what the hell are you doin’ here, Ghost?” she demanded, helping you carry him behind the counter of the store into the back room. she pushed off all the strewn materials at the table in the center of the room with one strong sweep, and you laid back Ghost on the surface, his eyes closed.
muffling a cry, you pressed your fingers to the pulse point in his neck. to your relief, it was throbbing, albeit weakly.
“business,” was all he mumbled in response and the woman shooed you from his side with an impatient wave of her hand.
you stepped back to the edge of the room, feeling your senses clouded with panic. you looked down to the blood covering your hands. out the window, there was more shouting, gunshots, and a building far down the street went up in flames. your breath hitched till suddenly you couldn’t breathe anymore. clawing at your throat, you slid down the wall, fighting the strain in your chest that seemed to close your airway.
you watched the woman cut through his vest and make quick work on the bullet wound, pliers in hand.
“you.”
she might’ve been shouting at you but it barely registered in your mind.
“get your useless behind off the ground and help me for god’s sake!” 
you just stared at her and she groaned in frustration. “some girl you have here, Ghost,” she grumbled and the weak grunt that left him brought you back to life.
you stood, steeling yourself, wiping the blood against your front. you felt calm. dangerously calm as you neared Ghost’s side. his eyes were screwed shut and you resisted gagging at the sight of her pliers fishing through his gaping wound for a bullet.
“what do you need?” your voice was weak and quiet. it didn’t even sound like your own. she shot you an impatient look.
“water. from the tap over there. and a needle and thread in that cabinet.”
you moved like you were floating off the ground, light and airy. like you weren’t really there, but you found your hands filling a bowl with water at the kitchen sink and grabbing a case of needles and a spool of black thread from a cabinet overhead.
by her side again, she unclasped the red mask from Ghost’s face and you stared unflinchingly with a hitch of breath. before pulling it from his face, she cocked her head at you.
“look away,” she snarled and you just nodded, stepping back from the table till you couldn’t see Ghost’s profile anymore. couldn’t even see the slow swell of his chest to let you know he was still alive.
you had to escape the room. you walked back out into the main storeroom and grated your hands through your hair, pacing. you picked up the rifle left on the glass casing over a showcase of different leather crafts, cocking it, just in case Turner’s men came barreling through the door.
when you put back down the rifle, you gasped at the sticky, bloody imprint it left on the handle. looking into a mirror by the entrance of the store, you shuddered at your image.
blood crusted your arms, like you had dipped your arms into a vat of it, and red fingerprints littered your throat and tinged your frayed hair. the front of your half-torn blouse was smeared in it too.
your hands shook uncontrollably, so you picked up the rifle’s heaviness again to still you, and sat, leaning against the glass showcase, muzzle aimed at the front door. you sat there for a long time, breath shallow and grating, till the shouts and gunshots outside subsided, and the billiard parlor down the street crumbled under the weight of flames.
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you awoke for a second time with a start, the woman’s hand shaking your shoulder lightly. you rolled your shoulders, neck impossibly stiff from your weird sleeping position on the floor. it was no longer dark outside, the lightest tones of pink and blood-soaked orange rising with dawn.
had you really only been napping in Ghost’s cabin half a day prior?
the woman sat beside you, pushing a warm mug into your hand. she didn’t pull her rifle from you, which you were endlessly grateful for, because you just hugged it closer to your chest, its cold metal and cured wood easing your nerves.
“tea.” she nodded to the steaming cup.
“is Ghost okay?” your voice cracked from disuse and she gave you a weak look.
“for now.”
you just nodded, taking a sip of the stuff and wincing when it burned your tongue. chamomile. Mama used to make it too.
the woman cleared her throat, drawing up her blonde hair into a messy bun. “sorry about the shouting. i’m not used to foreign company.”
you shrugged, itching at the dried blood on your neck as you took another sip of tea. 
“i’m Kate.” she held out a hand to you. “Kate Laswell.”
you shook her hand slowly, grateful she didn’t cringe away from the blood staining your own. you gave her your name in return and her brow raised.
“Ghost’s girl, huh?”
you felt too tired to be confused. “i guess so.”
“well i just know the boys would love to meet ‘ya.”
you allowed yourself a sliver of confusion. “the boys?”
“‘course,” she said with a smile, “one-four-one.”
you almost dropped the mug in your hand. “one-four-one?” you repeated weakly and she gave you a cheery nod.
you’d heard of them before. you heard too much about them before. she rubbed your shoulder comfortingly.
“they should be here any minute now.”
great. you were soaked with blood, clothes and hair tattered with sweat. as if she read your thoughts, Kate stood and outstretched a hand to you, pointing to the back room.
“i’ve got a tub filled in the back for you. and some extra clothes.”
you took her outstretched hand gratefully, allowing her to pull you up and lead you through the storage space where Ghost lay stretched out, half-naked, and maskless. you noticed her rush to flank your side and obscure the view of his bare, sleeping face from you. deciding not to fight it, the gentle hand on your back led you down a narrow hallway to an even narrower bathroom with a tub about as big as a barrel.
you didn’t mind it after the events of the night, Kate politely closing the door behind you, as you stripped yourself bare and scrubbed the blood away in the tub. slowly, you settled in its lukewarm water in a ball and rocked there, choking back sobs in the privacy of the tight room.
once all your tears were wrung dry, you emerged from the tub, drying yourself and your hair before redressing in your corset, drawers, chemise, and a linen bell sleeve blouse Kate lent you. tucking them into your unruined item—the fringed buckskin split skirt—you pulled your boots on and smoothed the lines of your face in the mirror. like your mama taught you.
when you opened the door of the bathroom, low murmurs and new voices floated down the narrow hall. 
“she isn’t supposed to be here, cap’.”
a low husky voice grunted back, “i know that.”
a third man with an even stranger accent than the first two chimed in loudly, “she risked ‘er life for Ghost! Simon said she tracked ‘em for two and a half miles just to warn him about the Turner boys.”
you assumed it was Kate shushing him.
the low, husky voice returned. “it’s not up to us, Soap. she’s Ghost’s now.”
you crept slowly up the hallway, searching for Ghost’s body stretched out on the table, but he wasn’t there. in his place were three men, leaning against the table, deep in conversation with Kate.
you stopped short in the entrance till one of the men, a stout one, thickly corded with muscle, and an unusual looking hairstyle—like the ones you saw in the school books about iroquois from the east—beamed at you.
he shushed a bronze-skinned man at his shoulder, who turned his gaze to you. the third bearded man with thick chops and broad shoulders fell silent, as did Kate, and suddenly, the whole room’s attention was trained on you.
you slowly walked into the room, discomforted by the thick silence. you resisted fumbling at your skirt nervously. the man with a mohawk let out a low whistle and the bearded man swatted at his face while the youngest man stepped forward to politely offer his hand, taking off his hat to press to his chest. 
his face was pinched with a stoic look. “i’m Kyle Garrick. pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”
your lips parted in surprise when he touched his lips to the back of your extended hand, and you politely curtsied in response, a blush touching your cheeks. 
the man with a mohawk stepped in behind him to give you a smug look.
“i’m Soap,” was all he offered. he clapped Kyle on the shoulder. “and this is Gaz. no one calls him Kyle.”
Kyle rolled his eyes in retaliation and released your hand, looking apologetic. you couldn’t help but softly smile as they began to quarrel and the bearded man reached out his hand this time to shake it firmly.
“John Price,” he said with a nod, voice husky. he jerked his head in Soap’s direction. “that’s Johnny Mactavish.” 
you murmured a quiet thank you as Kate comfortingly patted your back. 
“so this is one-four-one?” you mumbled aloud with raised brows. Soap and Gaz stopped mid-quarrel to peer at you. John shrugged.
“more or less.”
manners be damned, you fidgeted with your skirt. one-four-one was a legendary gunslinger group—on the run from the scarce law of the west, gambling, bounty hunting, and dueling for riches. you had no idea Ghost had friendly ties with them.
“where’s Ghost?”
John smirked at you, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. “out.”
nodding, you felt an anxiety roll through you. out could mean anything with Ghost, you learned in your short time with him.
where are you, Ghost? a meek voice in you called out. smoothing a hand over your chest, you steadied yourself as Kate offered you a small plate of breakfast. a piece of cornbread on the side of a bowl of chili that you kept down easily, despite the nervous gurgling of your stomach.
“Turner’s men,” you began softly to Kate, putting down the empty plate, but you still drew in the attention of the other three men, “they’re gone?”
she nodded sullenly, and Soap added, “not without a fight. upturned half the town with them…” his eyes went dark, voice tinged with something violent. “...and left a couple dozen dead bodies.”
John knuckled his shoulder gently. “we’ll get ‘em back, Soap.” he said it like it should be comforting, but there was a deadliness in it that made you shudder.
Soap winked at you. “aye. we’ll kill all those Turner boys if we have to. we already took down half of ‘em yesterday.”
undoubtedly, you knew it was a promise. Kate said quietly, “neighbors said they gunned down a couple of ‘em before they fled town.”
your brows rose. “there were others fighting?”
Kyle shrugged. “it’s the west, ma’am. people’re itchin’ to break the law.”
you thought back to the assailant last night—how he high-tailed it after popping a shot.
“so the man who shot Ghost last night?”
Kyle shrugged again. “probably a drunk lookin’ for trouble. happens all the time in these parts.”
you tried to hide the look of horror curling into your face, something akin to disgust, but Soap, ever-observant, took amusement in it immediately.
“that scare ye, princess?” he leaned against the table, closer to your face, and your frown deepened.
“don’t call me that.” it sounded wrong coming from him.
John grabbed the scruff of his neck and Soap twisted, complaining loudly in his hold. “knock it off, would you? poor girl’s had a rough night.”
you gave John a grateful look. still, you were relieved to know Ghost was only shot by a drunk rather than found and almost killed by one of Turner’s boys. you assumed you got real lucky last night. or maybe unlucky since the drunk’s poor shot happened to pick out Ghost of all people at the club.
“what was Ghost doing in the town last night?” you piqued, and Soap went quiet. the whole room did. sheepish, you watched their gazes slide across the room, avoiding your own.
Soap shot out, “do we tell her?”
Kate hissed in response, scolding him with a tight grip on his ear, and Kyle smacked at the back of his head. you assumed Soap just let a vital piece of information slip from the way John’s mouth twisted.
“tell me what?” you pressed and Kate shooed you out the room, taking your arm in hers.
“help me out with somethin’ else, girlie, and i’ll answer half the questions you ask.”
half the questions, you ruminated with a bitter taste in your mouth. she led you out the door of the leather crafts shop before a word of protest could leave your mouth, and into the bright mid-morning light. shops littered down the street had owners stationed out in front, sweeping up debris, shattered glass, and shoving trash into sacks. Kate tipped her stetson to each one as you passed, and they would nod back in a way that forebode something ominous.
“these are the neighbors,” Kate explained in a low, smart tone. “and this is our town.”
you remembered what Ghost said to your daddy over dinner two nights ago. 
i protected you. this was my territory. i had men in your town and i made sure no bandits came near your saloons and i made sure none left alive. then, you went to work with Turner instead.
“and you protect them for a price?” you asked. 
she smiled lightly. “a small one.”
your daddy must’ve had an unlucky price to pay if his daughter was the bargaining chip.
“is this the only town you protect?” 
Kate laughed at that, patting your hand on her arm gently. “heavens, no. Ghost’s got all kinds of investments from the west to east. he isn’t home much lately because of it.”
your brows raised. “that’s a lot of land to cover.”
“we’ve got a lot of friends from down south to help.”
you cocked your head at her as you turned the corner, making your way past the saloon from last night. the redhead with braids was mopping up the floor of the torn-up saloon, and when you caught her eye, her gaze sliding from you to the woman beside you, she paled.
“friends?”
Kate winked at you. “mexicans. a blessing from the spanish-american war.” when you just blinked at her, she elaborated.
“the boys enlisted in the british regiment to fight the spanish alongside patriots and texan mexicans. i played dress-up as a man to fight in the war.”
your brows raised and she gave you a sly look. “even had a female companion to play the part.”
she continued on. “when the war ended, one-four-one just never left—made friends with lots of boys down in texas. now, they do all sorts of work with us.”
“who?”
“los vaqueros.” the cowboys. you had heard of them too.
you should’ve been scared, connecting the dots, the blood-ties and relationships fused on the battlefield that didn’t break even ten years after the war. these people were dangerous. but in a way, you contemplated, your daddy was too. working with one-four-one, protected by los vaqueros, and bargaining with an enemy, Turner. 
and you didn’t even know it.
you wondered if your mama did. thinking of the hardness in her face, and the back-breaking rigidness of her lifestyle, you assumed she carried that weight too.
Kate peered at the edge of your face, catching your eye. “you gonna run away yet?”
you gave her a long look, answering her as truthfully as you could. “no.”
she nodded. “good. because if you do, we may just have to kill you.”
eerily, you were reminded of Ghost two nights ago in the cabin, his arms crossed over his chest and half-asleep despite your attempt to kill him.
good. there’s a lot more dangerous things in the desert than coyotes, princess.
“you sound like Ghost,” you remarked with a grimace, and the long laugh that left Kate was airy and full of menace.
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apparently helping out Kate meant running errands, restocking on preserves, fresh foods, and medical supplies. she kindly let you pick out your own stetson hat—a gus style, with three sloping dimples, cream-colored, and a leather brown cord tied round the base in a fashionable bow. your mama would’ve had your head for wearing something so manly, but turning it in your hands, the smooth velvet soft against your palms, your heart swelled at the thought of it being your own.
you would’ve paid for it if you didn’t carelessly lose your knapsack in the chaos last night, tending saloons and singing for drunkards. sighing at the cash register, you deeply lamented its loss and tugged the snug hat onto your head.
one-four-one wasn’t there when you returned to the leather crafts shop. Kate had given you a soft smile, saying they were out on business again. you had a sneaking suspicion that business meant shoot outs over encroached territory and fixing worsening investments.
as you prepared for dinner, it was uncanny to think that you were laying food out over the table where Ghost almost bled out the night before.
sure enough, just before the red crinkles of sunset, one-four-one meandered into the room for dinner, hats left by the hook at the door. you waited expectantly for a tall, broad, black suit and red mask to enter the room, but only deflated with disappointment. Soap shot you a knowing look that you pointedly ignored as the table joined hands to murmur a quick grace before digging in.
you could barely touch the food on your plate. any method you used to get under the boy’s skin about what business meant was quickly parried in clever ways that frustrated you more than your conversations with Kate. it was especially frustrating because you were beginning to think that business may circle around topics about you. 
you couldn’t weasel any more information out of them except that John, Gaz, and Soap had rode north to a nearby town they had business in. 
you were beginning to hate that word, you thought decidedly, trudging down the narrow hall to a spare bedroom Kate provided to you for the night. one-four-one would descend into the cool basement space with the preserves to their own quarters. you wanted to follow them, to peek down and see what was in there, but Kate was hot on your trail, and you knew they were probably hiding something else about business down there. especially since Kate would be sleeping down there as well.
that left you on the upper floor—which you contemplated with a frown because running away now would be easier than ever. except for the fact that you didn’t have a horse, gun, money, your knapsack, or anything at all in fact. unless you could scrounge around the kitchen a bit.
creeping from your designated room down the hall, you bit back any morsel of regret bleeding into your mouth as you entered the back room. one-four-one had shown you kindness, but technically, they had also kidnapped you and were forcing you to stay in their home. albeit, on your terms, according to Ghost. but you didn’t value the word of a kidnapper very much. even if, in the moment of your capture, you had wanted to leave home and never return again.
 oh—and you were being used as a hostage in a business transaction.
that thought spurred you forward blindly, and you rummaged around the kitchen as quietly as you possibly could, pocketing matches, a box of ammo, and a small bunch of rope beneath the kitchen sink. sliding the knife drawer open, you inspected each one carefully, watching the blade glint in the moonlight, before picking up a small one you hoped would go missing without notice.
“stealing my things again?”
you jumped out of your skin with a shriek, and mindlessly turned to the source of sound, brandishing your knife at the intruding form shrouded in shadow. he caught your wrist easily, stepping forward to press you back against the kitchen counter and your heart dropped to your stomach.
dark eyes and a red mask. his hat was off and the black fabric beneath his mask was pulled up enough so you could see his jaw, the soft pink of his mouth and the silvery scar on his upper lip.
“Ghost?” you whispered out, dropping the knife. it clattered to the floor and he tilted his head almost curiously.
for a long moment you just stared in silence, his knee firm between your thighs and broad stature lingering over you, gloved hand tight on your wrist. you searched his eyes, reaching up a hand to brush at his jaw, but he immediately stepped out of your proximity.
“brought you something.” he nodded outside and you looked out the kitchen window to see your dappled gray mare, Sugar, tied to the fence post at the front of the leather crafts store by his black stallion. breath hitching, you pressed your hand to the glass.
“thank you,” you whispered, looking back at him. wordlessly, he turned from you to peel off his black trench coat. 
when you noticed him wince, you immediately moved forward to help him out of his coat, laying it out over the table. mumbling a word of gratitude, he sat gingerly in a seat and leaned down to undo his boots. watching him struggle from the tenderness of his wound, you sighed, pushing his hands away to neatly kneel in front of him and smooth over your skirt. then, you carefully helped him pull them off.
“don’t need your help,” he grumbled from above, and you suppressed a smirk. you almost missed his grumpy remarks.
“that so?”
putting down his second boot by his feet, you looked up at him, heart jumping to your throat from the half-lidded look behind his mask. the gloved hand that rested on his thigh by your cheek twitched. you remembered its appearance yesterday—soaked in blood. his blood.
closing your eyes, you nuzzled your cheek into the hand, his palm cupping your face gently before moving down to stroke at your braid. he let out a low throaty sound when you looked up at him from where you kneeled, cheek pressed against his thigh, the fine worsted wool of his dress pants velvet on your skin.
“do you know what you do to a man?” he asked, voice soft. you only hummed back in sing-song question, eyes half-lidded, content where you leaned against the strength of his thigh.
“i searched half the plain for your horse. she got lost in the fray when i got shot.” his hand moved from your braid to your throat, stroking in time with the lulling pulse of your heart, leather cool on your hot skin.
“found her back at the cabin, sniffing around for you. the place was totally upturned, and all the food in my cabinets was gone.” he snickered lightly. “you thief.”
you smiled at that, gripping his wrist weakly.
“i like it when you talk,” you admitted, mesmerized by the slow way his soft lips shaped deep, grating words in that thick foreign accent.
you watched the bob of his bare throat swallow with a hunger pooling in your stomach.
“you should be afraid of me,” he whispered, gently pressing his thumb to your lower lip, “you were afraid of me.”
you couldn’t remember a time when you were afraid of Ghost—only a nervous anticipation crawling across your skin at his proximity. maybe you were never afraid in the first place. maybe you told yourself that you were afraid of him, out of your own unease, when the fear was something that you actually craved.
“i am afraid,” you said. his grip on your chin tightened. “but not of you.”
“who then?” he demanded, voice silky.
“Turner. his men.” an invulnerable shiver went through you. “they said the first man to lay hands on me gets dibs.”
you felt his thigh stiffen beneath you. “i won't let them touch you.”
you swallowed thickly, peering up at him. a dark, sinister voice inside you purred out. 
i want you to touch me.
he cocked his head at you, asking a silent question.
i want only you to touch me.
he voiced it. “what do you want?” his hand moved to stroke at your cheek, your brow, your hair.
you never had the luxury of pondering the question. your path was always laid out before you by your mama and daddy. there was no choice. only lingering, bitter feelings of resentment as you fought yourself to believe that tending Daddy’s saloon and entertaining businessmen was the life you wanted.
“i dont know.”
“tell me.”
your face heated with shame. “i want you.”
Ghost went very still. you couldn’t even hear his breaths in the darkness. “you’re sure?”
you nodded against his thigh. “mhmm. want you.”
“i’m the devil,” he murmured, sounding sullen, but you just shook your head.
“you’re Simon,” you corrected, and he flinched beneath you.
letting out a low curse, you didn’t even fight it when he scooped you up in his arms, and pressed you back against the kitchen counters, mask pressed to your hair, warm body against yours. your hand trailed up to press gently at the bullet wound buried beneath his black vest and button up. his hissed at the pressure but didn’t stop you as you moved to unbutton his vest.
“i want to see,” you explained softly, unfastening the thing completely. he tossed the vest onto the table, his holster following it, as you began unbuttoning his dress shirt, splaying out a hand over his warm chest. 
he was littered with scars—big and small, and you desperately tried to memorize the placement of each one as you revealed more of his pale skin, inch by inch, till his shirt hung loose at his waist. your eyes swept over the naked expanse of his toned torso and the white bandage soaked through with blood that clutched at the right side of his stomach.
slowly, you unwrapped it till the old dressings fell from his skin and a long line of puckered pink skin punctured through with a dark thread was revealed. you steadied your breath, brushing a hand over it. Ghost shifted overhead, leaning his weight onto the counter behind you.
“does it hurt?”
you couldn’t see his face, but his voice was wrung through in your ear. “no.”
the corner of your mouth twitched. “didn’t take you for a liar, Ghost.”
he just grunted in response. you smoothed your hands over the warmth of his torso.
“let me take care of you?” you offered, and his breath went shallow. you didn’t even know how to take care of someone. you had no idea what you were doing. but you offered anyway.
you could feel him smile into your hair, nose pressed to your ear. “always so polite, princess.”
you felt him tug your hair loose of its braid, and you took in a sharp breath as it fell in waves around your shoulders. he pulled off his gloves quickly, taking a handful of it, pressing the softness of your hair to his cheek. you shuddered.
“you won’t do a thing tonight, lovely,” he commanded lowly, and you nodded, hands clutching at his chest as he circled his strong arms around you. forehead pressed to yours, you looked up through his mask to find his rich brown eyes on you. his warm breath hit your lips.
he tilted his head in a gesture down the hall. “want you on that bed now.”
you complied immediately, taking him in your hand, going down the hall with one of his hands burning straight through the fabric at where he tightly gripped at your hip. crowding you into the room, and the door sealed tight behind you, he turned you by your hips, and gently pulled back your hair to expose your neck to him. you gasped when the soft wetness of his mouth kissed over it gently, his arm curling around you to pull you flush together.
a steady heat pooled in your stomach, and you squirmed in his hold.
“Ghost…” you begged, not even knowing what you were begging for. he hummed against your skin, undoing the clasp of your holster, then your skirt. you felt embarrassed by your clunky attire, kicking off your boots, hiding your face into his bare chest as he slid the article off your legs.
“don’t hide,” he warned in a light tone, expertly taking apart the back of your blouse to leave you only in your undergarments. the look behind his mask was dark and domineering, leaving you shaking in his hold. he smoothed a bare hand over your shoulder and arm, lifting the inside of your wrist to press a kiss there, before he was kissing up your arm in a hot trail. 
when he reached your jaw, a foreign and breathy noise left your throat. his eyes snapped back up to yours, pausing his ministrations as you blushed deeply. you didn’t know what those sounds meant—only that they left you feeling utterly sinful for being so exposed to an older man, unmarried, and so innocent.
you swallowed when Ghost’s hands went to the back of your corset, undoing its clasps blindly as he pressed more kisses to your neck, your cheek, and the corner of your lips. you squeaked, screwing your eyes shut and found yourself disappointed when he paused again.
panting, your brows pinched in confusion. Ghost was leaning a bit back now, looking down at you with an imperceptible expression.
“what? why’d you stop?” you whispered, scared to break the moment, but he unabashedly cut through the quiet of the room. “How much do you know about going to bed with someone?” 
you squeaked again, stupidly looking around the room as if your mama may have been hiding in the wardrobe. the look on Ghost’s face twisted into pure amusement, much to your chagrin, and you cursed yourself for the complete absence of confidence in you—like it had all run dry with your cheek pressed to his thigh under the dinner table.
“i know…” you fumbled for a word, “...a lot. so much.” 
Ghost huffed, taking one of your hands pressed to your chest and sliding it down, past his belt, to the front of his pants. you yelped when he closed your hand around something hard, something throbbing.
“you know what this is then?”
you nodded dumbly.
“really?” you had no idea.
you nodded again, and he laughed lowly, cupping a hand around the back of your neck to kiss your cheek softly, his cool mask brushing your skin.
he unclasped the top of your corset, and you jolted when pulled it slowly from your torso. the cold air of the room bit at your skin and you wrapped your arms over your chest. grumbling in disapproval, he let the thing clatter to the floor and untangled your arms from your chest, pushing you back onto the bed.
“don’t worry, lovely,” he slew sloppy, wet kisses over your breast and stomach, lightly nipping at the chub there, and a loud sound flew from your mouth from the ministration, your back arching in response. “i can teach you everything.”
a large palm slid over your stomach, keeping you pinned there with a dark look, black eyes pitched in a silver from the moonlight. “would you like that, lovely?”
you nodded wildly, clutching at his hand splayed over your tummy. 
“please, Simon,” you called softly, and a guttural sound left the back of his throat as he hooked a thumb beneath the waist of your lacey drawers and pulled them down, letting them pool around your knees for a moment as he leaned down over you to placing a comforting kiss to your shoulder.
then, you were bare, splayed out in the moonlight beneath his muscled stature. you squirmed in his hold, pressing your thighs together around his arm, but he pried them apart easily, baring your most sensitive parts to him. your whole body flushed when his eyes honed in on the throbbing between your legs, humming deeply. you yelped as he greedily tugged you to the edge of the bed, gingerly settling on his knees on the floor in front of you.
“your wound—” you cried out in surprise, but you were cut short when he buried his nose between your legs and breathed in deeply.
“Simon,” you called, voice breathy and panting, like you’d just run a far distance, and your hips jolting up against your will. there was a strange deep coiling in your stomach—a growing ache you felt like you needed to relieve with a crazy thirst.
he wrapped two strong arms round your thighs to pin your squirming hips down, nosing around the soft folds and plushness of your inner thighs. 
“patience,” he said, voice soft, and you keened, unsure what to do with your hands clenching and fumbling around the sheets. catching your wrists, he pinned them down to the bed along with your thighs. 
you felt the strange primal need to beg—to plead for his forgiveness, your whole body alight from the way he held your body in a bind, baring yourself to him.
“please,” you whimpered, unsatisfied with the way he continued to kiss and bite at your thighs, licking over them and periodically sucking the skin into his mouth. you canted your hips up, moaning when you found a delicious bout of friction against his turned jaw.
with a grunt of disapproval, he pinned you roughly back down to the bed.
“greedy are we, pretty thing?”
biting your lip, you didn’t feel an ounce of shame as you nodded. you needed that friction again. you didn’t know why, but you felt like you needed to grind against something desperately, just to relieve that sore aching inside you.
humming, Ghost lowered his mouth between your legs, eyes on yours as he gently blew cold air over the throbbing heat of you. you whined at that, hips trying to buck up, but he was just too strong.
“hurts,” you admitted in a whimper, and his eyes darkened.
“what hurts?”
you squirmed, whimpering helplessly, face flushing. “there.”
“where?” he asked, his lips twisted in a smug way.
you threw your head back, chest pushing up into the air with a frustrated whine.
“here?” he offered, his tongue coming out to lap over the throbbing thing between your legs. at that you gasped with a jolt, chasing his tongue. “this pretty little cunt aching?”
“yes,” you gasped, his tongue coming down to caress your core again and again, till it was lapping at it, almost playing with it.
the feeling was intense, nothing like you’d ever felt before. it bloomed like a fire in your throat, quenching the intense ache in your stomach, but every time he pulled away, the ache only grew stronger and stronger, like you needed to chase the pleasure with even more pleasure.
it was torture. you didn’t know whether to push him away or pull him closer.
the sight of him between your legs was so sinful, so wrong for a man to be lapping at you in such a forbidden place. but that intense feeling hung over everything in a foggy haze, blanketing any sense of foreboding shame that rang in the back of your brain.
there was only Ghost now—pinning your wrists and thighs to the bed, tongue rubbing strong circles into your fleshy pink skin.
when he pulled back, you almost cried out in frustration but he pinned you with a dark look of warning, releasing your wrists to bring a thumb to your cunt. he rubbed at in fast circles and a breathy moan escaped you, arching against the sheets.
he cooed. “so sensitive. you never touch yourself before, pretty thing?”
you choked out a reply. “no—it’s,” you gasped when his tongue came down to lap at your entrance, drawing teasing patterns over it, hooking inside then drawing out.
“sinful.” you finished with a drawl and he pushed his tongue inside, fucking you out of your wits with the wet muscle.
he hummed inside you, the tremors traveling all the way up to the place where he was rubbing with his thumb. you clutched at his hand, willing it to move faster, and he complied immediately. your body lost a fiber of control with every passing second. 
“you look like you’re enjoying it, though,” he spoke against you with a smug look. you barely heard him, a foreign sensation building in you so fast, the words of warning died in your throat.
“you like getting fucked out with my tongue? my thumb on your clit?”
“you like being my good little whore, pretty thing?”
“say my name, princess.”
his low, gruff words went straight to the blooming heat in your stomach, traveling straight to your cunt, and exploding out to your swollen clit as you chanted his name.
Simon, Simon, Simon.
every throbbing wave gripped you with an intensity, clenching around his tongue in delicious rolls of pleasure that had you squirming in the sheets, unable to keep still as he pulled you through a slew of ecstasy. 
Simon.
colors exploded behind your eyelids, jaw slack, you slowly laxed into the bed, melting as the sweet noises in your throat eventually subsided.
there was a lulling stillness in the room as your senses slowly came back to you, and you realized Ghost was speaking in a throaty, cracked murmur to you, voice raw and overused. 
“good girl,” he praised, and you looked up at him, leaning into his palm as he affectionately rubbed at your cheek, clambering over you to press a kiss to your ear, the tip of your nose.
his warm breath against your lips had you jolting to life, slapping a hand over his mouth with a gasp. he jolted against you and you scrambled up straighter, seized by what you had just done.
you, naked and bare on the bed, and he, shirt unbuttoned and jaw splashed with your slick. a question burned in the dark eyes behind his mask but you just made haste to cover your body with the sheets, scurrying out of his hold. 
he called your name out, voice dark and pinched. he reached for you, but you held up a hand.
“don’t,” you warned, gripped with such a burning shame that tears filled your eyes. you quickly wiped at them relentlessly, but more reappeared in their stead, and you drew the covers around your shoulders, unable to contain the shaking that wracked your body.
burying your face in your hands, thoughts convulsed wildly in your head. what have you done? what would your mama think? your daddy?
you whimpered. what would the lord think?
you shook so hard you barely noticed the black button up sleeve that Ghost wrapped around your shoulders, taking the sleeves to loosely tie them around your neck. he settled a fair distance from you, eyes full and glinting.
“alright, pretty girl?” he asked gingerly when your sobbing subsided.
you sniffled, voice strained and throaty. “no.”
you gave him a miserable look. “we’re not married.”
he tilted his head, mouth opening and closing. his hand clenched at the sheets then relaxed again.
“i don’t wanna be a whore,” you cried, feeling dumb as you wiped at the tears coming down your cheeks in an onslaught.
Ghost’s eyes narrowed. “is this because i called you a—”
“no!” you shouted immediately, then lowered your voice with a quick apology.
he slid to your side, flush against you and warm through the sheets. he pressed his mask to your hair.
“no one’ll think you’re a whore,” he mumbled, playing with your hair in his fingers, “you’re mine already.”
there was a deadpanned simplicity in his voice that made it easy to believe.
he took your tear-stained face in his hands. “besides, you’re too polite, princess. even in all that cowboy get-up.”
staring into his masked face, you nodded, chewing what he was feeding you slowly. he angled your face gently. when his lips made a slow descent to yours, you squeaked with a jolt and tried to scurry out of his hold, but he held fast, grunting with effort.
“what now?” he asked, exasperation flitting through his eyes, clenching at his jaw.
“i don’t kiss before a date—s’not proper!” you shot back with twice as much ire, and his eyes went wide before a huff of laughter escaped him.
“that so?”
you rolled your eyes. “yes.”
he hummed low, amusement twinkling in his eyes. “so proper, princess.”
you suppressed a laugh, trying to conceal your giggle with a frustrated huff, but Ghost didn’t fall for it as he drew you into arms, easily man-handling you into his desired position beneath the sheets before he slid into them behind you, pressing a gentle kiss to your shoulder.
you were pulled into a soft wall of warmth and bowing strength, curling around you in a sleepy hold. you couldn’t fight it even if you tried. he shifted against you, and you gasped when you felt something hard digging into the fleshy curve of your backside.
shooting a curious look over your shoulder, Ghost only offered you a lazy blink.
“don’t you worry your pretty little head about it,” he mumbled, drawing you in closer.
“but—”
“i don’t talk about those kinds of things before a date,” he said under his breath, and you could only laugh, relishing the way his lips curled into a smile against your hair.
an easy silence filtered into the room and you reached back behind you to grip at his shoulder, his neck, his skin. you took a deep breath. he was real. he was alive.
he slid his arms around your sides as a bind over your stomach, and you clutched weakly at the muscle of his arms smothering you.
“i thought you were going to die,” you ruminated softly, feeling a natural force pulling down on your eyelids.
“ghosts don’t die,” he reminded you, his lips against your neck. 
“devils don’t either,” you said, and he grunted in disapproval.
“you think i’m the devil, lovely?” his fingers stroked at your cheek. you leaned into his touch thoughtfully.
“maybe,” you answered in a truthful nod. “i don’t mind it though. i can make you good.”
his laugh was mirthless. “doubt you can, princess.”
you swallowed hard and closed your eyes. “you won’t ransom me back to my daddy, will you?”
you took his silence as a warning, an uneasy toil rolling through you. shifting in his arms, you turned to face him, the fabric of his mask pulled back down over his jaw, heavy gaze bearing down on you, half-lidded and sleepy. he just pulled you flush against his chest so you couldn’t see his masked face anymore, only the sounds of his deep, steady breaths in your ear that dragged you into a restless sleep.
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p.s.: to any history buffs out there, i know that technically there was no actual british regiment in the spanish-american war but let's pretend that there was for the sake of plot holessss
...also imagining Gaz talk in a thick southern drawl was so funny to me he's so adorable
anyways hoped you enjoyed this long, self-indulgent chapter! more coming soon :]
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st44rgirlxo · 4 months ago
Text
pt. 2!!
part 1 is here
Katsuki couldn’t sleep not after what happened a few days ago. He was a mess. How could he be so stupid. You were the only person that mattered and he still fucked it up. He rolls around in his bed, looking at the time. “11:35 pm”
Every time he tried to talk to you he got ignored. You wouldn’t budge. Katsuki even thought you blocked him because you would answer his messages at all.
He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to make things better. He gets up and walks out his dorm. As he makes his way to the floor your dorm was on, he makes a stop at the kitchen to get your favorite ice cream he bought earlier today.
As he’s walking the hallways he hears faint music coming from your room. “good she’s awake” He hesitates before knocking but does anyway.
Immediately the music stops. You slowly open the door but as soon as you see who it is you shut it. But katsukis reflexes are too fast. He grabbed it with his hand.
“Im coming in”
before you could argue he was already inside your dorm shutting the door behind him.
“I don’t want to talk to you katsuki”
“ no, no you need to listen to me please”
“I’ve been miserable without you and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for yelling at you and I shouldn’t have I was just really stressed and got overwhelmed. im sorry baby”
“what took you so fucking long. i missed you”
he sighs of relief and jumps to hug you. you swear you heard him sniffing as if he was crying.
“can you stay the night kats? I haven’t been sleeping lately”
he nods and you lift the covers sliding under them. Before be gets in bed with you he takes off his t shirt, exposing his muscles.
“lord we might not sleep tonight either”
lmk what you want me to do next!!
requests are open!!💕
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sweet1delusi0ns · 5 months ago
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I need more sub naruto boys x dom fem reader pls maybe one where the reader is punishing/rewarding them for theyre behavior
Naruto boys being rewarded ──☆*:・゚
Pt.1! pt.2 will have the rest of the characters, stay tuned!
Fem!dom!reader + smut
Characters: Naruto🦊,sasuke🗡️,Itachi🥀, kakashi🍃, kiba🐺, shikamaru🀄️,shino🪲
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Naruto🦊-*
reward:letting him play with himself
Hes relatively behaved he’s just a little bratty. He mostly gets in trouble for touching himself without you knowing so when you allow him to touch himself right in front of you it’s he loves it. Although it takes a while to earn up enough good boy points to actually get a reward~
He has been doing your chores all day while also trying to hint at what he really wants is special time with you. He’s currently cleaning the dishes while trying to look as sexy as possible which is not that easy- “naruto what are you doing? You look silly~” “I am NOT silly I am attractive!” You laugh “if your trying to get a reaction it’s not gunna work~” he drops the dishes at your teasing tone, he turned around to start pleading “oh come on I’ve been the best I could be all day dont I deserve a little something?” You raise an eye brow “hmm maybe you do deserve a little reward~” his face dropped “REALLY?!” “Yup, or maybe…you should give yourself the reward” you grab his hand to place it on his own clothed dick, He got hint immediately. “I can?!” “Yes~” he wasted no time pushing his hand into his pants, softly grazing his tip. He came extremely fast which he normally isn’t allowed to do but it’s his reward so he did what he wanted!- “Aw you came so fast baby?” “i-it’s my reward!” You tsk at his breathy response “I guess it is, well since it’s your reward it’s your responsibility to clean up~” your hand pressed over his cum stained pants. “Y-yes ma’am…thank you…” “of course~ although if you get any of that on the floor you will be punished!” Which made him arch into the air “I won’t…”
Sasuke🗡️-*
Reward: using a vibrater to cum
He secretly loves vibraters, he rarely gets to use them though so when you offered to let him cum with a vibrater instead he was ecstatic. He also loves when you hold it for him since sometimes he gets a little lazy-
“Wait what? Wh-why are you pulling away!” You put your hand on his cheek to calm him “this isn’t a punishment, this is a reward! I figured you would like to cum in a different way~” you pull out a small wand which has been used before so he is very familiar, once his eyes landed on the toy his legs softly started to shake “yes p…lease” you turn it on to the softest setting and press it against his length causing his hips to buckle into it “OH ahh yes~ I-I want more!” You turn it up while resting your hand on his hip stopping him from moving “like that?” “YES!” You drag the toy up and down making him cry out “M-MISS IM CLOSE~” you drag the toy all the way up to his tip making him cum all over his stomach “Thank you thank you thank you!!!”
Itachi🥀-*
Reward: pegging
He’s shy to admit that he loves being pegged but he does, he loves feeling you inside him so you normally use it as a reward. Once he makes you cum you always want to return the favor which he will gladly exept
“Did I…do good?” “Yes~ so good in fact…I think you deserve a little something.” He lifts his head up to see what you were talking about just to see you reaching for the special drawn. “R-really? Ah~” you grab the strap from the drawn than you turn back to him “get into a position tachi~” he does as you ask and rolls over onto his side, hooking his leg over his arm gently spreading him open while he softly moaned. You grab onto his leg to position yourself with his cute hole. You plunge into him causing him to squeal loudly. “That feel good? Mh” you start to pump into him gently which made him shake, he can’t hold it very long sadly so not even 2 minutes in he’s already warning you “I-I’m c-c-close mh-mh-mhh~” you speed up as you watch him twitch, he soon came all over the bed which made you press inside his ass deep as possible, which overstimulated him the perfect amount. “F-fuck yes!! Ngh~ so good…” you pull out slowly “watch your language~”
Kakashi🍃-*
Reward: hand job
He only gets hand jobs when your to lazy to do anything more but he still finds it rewarding, you could be watching a show or reading a book and when you start giving into his neediness he feels rewarded even if your not really paying attention~
Your just trying to read a book and for once his attention isn’t on a book either. Instead it on your thigh, he’s currently trying to rut against you but you keep on pushing him off “stop kakashi!” He groans “Cmon… i need You!” You roll your eyes at his neediness “fine. Just don’t be that distracting I’m still trying to read” you reach down to his pants button with your free hand unbuckling it with ease before pull out his cock which is already dripping. “Yes…finally…” you start pumping while he shamelessly humps into your hand. “Hm~ faster?…” you agree since you didn’t want to stop reading to scold him. “Yeah sure whatever” you pick up the pace cause him to throw his head back, he reaches up to his nipples softly toying with them which you didn’t mind either “hurry up, I’d like to read with two hand-” “y-yes mistress in close..” he pintches his nipples causing an orgasm to flow over him. “OH! Y/N AH~ HM~” “oh god all over my hand? Really?”
Kiba🐺-*
Reward: thigh humping
If he has been behaving his fav reward is dry humping your thighs. He does every little thing you ask hoping by the end of the day he can feel your soft thighs on his dick
“You’ve been really obedient today pup? What did you do.” He shakes his head aggressively “nothing!!! I was just…hoping for something in return…” his eyes flicker to his pants trying to hint to you “oh, is this what you want?” You push your thigh between his legs which instantly causing him to hump onto it “ah! Y-yea~” he wraps his arms around your shoulder for more support while he’s thrusts grow needier “t-thank y-you…hm~ can I cum too?” you giggle “sure~” five minutes of whimpers and moans later he is finally close. “I-I’m close…fuck..” you push into his dick causing more friction “AHH NGHH YES~” he releases into his pants which quickly dripped down his inner thigh. You pull your thigh away before kissing his cheek and walking away to grab a towel and a new pair of pants for your messy boy
Shikamaru🀄️-*
Reward: nipple play
He could cum just for you softly rubbing his nipples in circles, he loves when he’s just relaxing at home and all of a sudden feel your hand slip under his shirt and rub his nipples, it makes him whimper and whine and he loves it.
He just woke up from a nap, just as you walk into the room. “Hey Shika~ what are you doing?” “I just woke up…” he reaches both hands up to tuck them behind his head. You walk over to him then clime over him. He closes his eyes when he feels you over him since he assumed you guys were gunna cuddle, but instead he felt something soft and warm pressing against his nipples which made his eyes shoot open. “W-wow…I wasn’t ah~” you use your other hand to pull up his shift fully so you have access to all of his chest “shh~” you reach down so your lips are just over his nipple and gave it a small lick. “Ngh…y/n…” you fully engulf his bud with hot, wet sensations causing him to arch his back. “Please ngh…” he reaches his hand up to play with the opposite nipple so there is equal stimulation“I-I’ll cum if you don’t NGHH~” “go on~” you start sucking on the bud making him scream right before cumming completely untouched.
Shino🪲-*
Reward: make outs
He likes the simple things, not every reward with him must be sexual he honestly just likes having you in his mouth while pulling on his hair~ making out isn’t even intended as a reward but he views it as one
You were in a kissy kind of mood and decided to use him as an outlet *wink* you found him on the couch reading and you wasted no time climbing on top of him which made him jump. “Don’t worry it’s just me baby” his eyes flicker up from his book with a startled look “oh..you scared me heh” you pull in for a very soft kiss, even though it was just a little peck he still moaned softly at the touch of your lips. What he didn’t expect was for you to pull in again, this time you did not pull away. He moaned into your lips knowing what’s going ti happen. “Hmm hm~” you bite his lip commanding him to open his mouth, he submitted and opened his mouth to let you inside his hot mouth. Your tongue swirls around causing him to softly gag, you reach around to grab a hand full of hair to stabilize him, he is slowly loosing his breath he moans to signal you to pull away. You pulled out of his mouth and open your eyes to see his droopy eyes, mouth slightly open with his tongue stick out. You both gasp for air and you could feel his pants tighten underneath you but instead of tending to his hardness you go right back into his mouth. He cries out into your mouth the whole time~
Pt.1!
Pt.2 coming soon!!! Once pt.2 is posted I’ll start to write one abt punishments 😋
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elliesdoll · 8 months ago
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pt. 3 to my angsty loser!ellie thingy 𝜗𝜚
pt.1 pt.2
nsfw! ellie cries lol, it’s kinda sweet? giggly sex at first, boobie sucking, ellie is kind of a weirdo idk… she makes out with your pussy, oral(e!receiving), fingering (e!recieving), squirt alert!, ellie cums way too fast, tribbing, desperate ellie like damn shes genuinely tweakinf. this is lowkey so nasty idk wut came over me
this is kinda long im sorry… AND NOT PROOFREAD im too lazy for allat. forgive me for any typos i will not be fixing!😊
daily click don’t buy tlou palestine mp
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she had no fucking clue what to do. maybe she could pull her pants up and push herself through the tiny ass window above your shower? leave and block your number, move towns, and change her name. maybe that would work.
she shamefully pulled her sweatpants up and wiped her wet fingers on the fabric, then hid her face in her hands. what the fuck was she gonna do now? she was so sick, so perverted. all ellie could do was imagine you in your room right now, feeling so betrayed by your closest friend for being so perverted in the safety of your own home.
ellie was secretly praying to die right in this moment. she’d die happily, if zeus decided to strike her down with a lightning bolt and disintegrate her, right on your tiled floor. why was she like this? she loved you so much, she couldn’t help shoving her hand in her pants at the sight of you. but in a sick way, it wasn’t from lust.
it was from love.
ellie told herself she had some sick masturbation problem, and she probably needed to be put on some medication for being fucking insane. she just couldn’t help it. your kindness made her heart swell so much that it made her horny, in the weirdest way.
ellie had gotten horny from other things before, sure. but that’s all it was. lust. you, you made her horny in the same way that you made her tummy get butterflies. she just wanted to love on you. she had so much love and affection to give, the only way to release it was through taking care of herself, shamefully.
which is what led her to be in the predicament she’s in right now. she swore she’d never masturbate again, after this.
after maybe 10 minutes of sitting in silence, she decided to leave the bathroom. no use in staying there forever.
the walk down the hall to your room felt so suspenseful and wya too fucking long. maybe it’s because her steps got slower the closer she got.
she had already composed what she was going to say to you. “I don’t know what you saw, but it’s not what it looks like.” and go from there. But the second she entered through the door and saw you sitting on your bed, looking up at her with the most intense look in your eyes, all that went out the window.
“i am so sorry.”
she mumbled, her throat having this large, suffocating lump in it from the urge to cry. before you could say anything back, she spoke again.
“i’m so fucking sorry, i don’t know what i was thinking. i— im so fucked up i know, you didn’t deserve that—“
she continues on, her hands gripping so tightly on the bottom of her hoodie, to the point her knuckles turn white. she doesn’t even realize the tears that spill down her face, not until the look on your face changes. your eyebrows raise, and you look almost like you’re pitying her.
“els… stop that. it’s okay. you’re fine.”
you say, standing up and getting right in front of her. you almost wanted to say sorry for intruding on her, but honestly— what the hell was she doing that for in the first place? you didn’t pry, only wanting to calm her down.
“i thought we could laugh it off. yknow.. like something we could look back on and smile about. no need to cry.”
you say softly to her, using that gentle voice you had whenever you wanted to be sincere. you even go as far as to wipe some of the wetness off her cheek with your thumb.
you were so good to her. she should be relieved to hear your response, but she’s not. it only makes her more frustrated.
“i can’t.”
she looks down at the floor, unable to look you in the eye.
“can’t? can’t what?”
you’re confused, why can’t she just move on from it? you really wanted to bury this memory and stay the way you were.
“i can’t move on.”
she blurts out, a few stray tears still rolling down her cheeks. you just stare at her for a moment, and then it clicks.
“oh.”
you knew exactly what she meant by that. the poor girl, she had her feelings for you all pent up inside of her for god knows how long. you felt terrible, for making her feel even worse about this whole thing. but at the same time, you felt unreasonably giddy.
the fact that ellie, your very bestest friend, had such a big crush on you that it brought her to tears? how flattering is that? you always had a little thing for her, but you brushed yours up as some silly friend crush.
but her tiny confession made your heart pound like nobody has done before.
you grab her hands and lead her to your bed, sitting her down in front of you. you were gonna set this right.
“ellie, why didn’t you tell me?”
she looks at you as if you were dumb. why in the hell would she ever admit her undying love for her best friend?
“because you’re… i don’t fucking know! you’re my best friend nd’ i didn’t wanna mess things up— n’ you have those stupid fuck buddies of yours and—“
oh, the fuck buddies. you now realize why ellie was so quick to leave your home that day she showed up unannounced. the poor baby probably had her feelings so hurt.
“you know, there’s a reason i never actually end up dating them, ellie. that’s all they were to me. they didn’t really make me… feel.”
you say, wiping the tears off her cheeks with one thumb. the way she looked at you made your heart melt.
“..huh? feel what?”
she raises an eyebrow, completely missing what you’re saying. you laugh, covering your eyes for a moment. you forgot you’re talking to ellie. you kinda have to spell it out for her.
“dude. i’m saying that you make me feel.”
she stares at you blankly. she really is doesn’t wanna assume, too afraid of embarrassing herself. you sigh.
“fuck, ellie. i like you too.”
you’ve never seen the girls eyes get so wide. is this even fucking real? ellie couldn’t believe her reddened ears. she doesn’t even have the capacity to feel embarrassed anymore. all she feels is absolute, genuine shock.
“are… are you sure?”
she asks quietly, sniffling a bit. the girl’s nose was still running from her humiliating breakdown in front of you. you almost get pissed at her stupid question.
“yes? the hell?”
you narrow your eyes at her, giving her shoulder as slight shove. she grunts and shoves you back, playfully.
“i was just making sure! i can’t tell if you’re fucking with me.”
“why would i be fucking with you? i’m not evil, ellie.”
she just shrugs, and lets out a slight giggle. she smiles a bit, wiping her damp, sticky face. god, how you loved her smile. it was the sweetest thing ever. both of you giggled for a minute, laughing at the absurdity of this whole thing.
after a few seconds of comforting laughter and smiles between the two of you, you realize ellie isn’t gonna make a move. of course she isn’t, even after that confession. ellie would never make the first move, no way in hell. so, you lean in and give her a quick peck on the lips, less than a second long. it caught her completely off guard.
her eyes widened so much, and her eyebrows raised so far up. you literally saw her cheeks redden, like you two were in a movie. she couldn’t stop herself from beaming at you. a large, toothy grin right that made her cheeks hurt. she didn’t even say anything, just grabbing the sides of your face and bringing you in for a kiss again.
she kisses so hard. her lips push against yours, you could feel her smiling against your mouth. she pulls apart for a second, just looking at you. then, she moves right back in.
the kiss is softer this time, more passionate. in ellie’s mind, she was gonna do this right. she’s gone over in her head thousands of times what she would do if she got to kiss you, to make love with you. she couldn’t mess this up.
you two make out for a bit, the smacking noises from the kissing makes your head feel fuzzy. you’re still pretty wet, from the kissing and the sight you saw earlier. after you pull away from her lips for some air, you give her this look. you want more.
“is.. is this okay?”
ellie asks, slowly kissing your neck and stopping just to look at your reaction. you smile and nod, finding her mannerisms to be too fucking cute. she was so eager.
ellie was in heaven. your skin tasted so good, and you smelled like you. her favorite scent. she peppered kisses over every square inch of your neck and shoulders, her hands resting on your hips. she didn’t dare move your top though, too scared to initiate it.
you slowly moved her shaky, clammy hands to the bottom of your little top, letting her grab it and guiding her hands upwards. you whispered to her in a reassuring tone.
“els, it’s okay.”
she just looks at you, pupils blown and nods. she slowly pulled your top off and over your head, letting your tits spill out right in front of her. of course she noticed you weren’t wearing a bra the second she came over, but it still took her breath away.
“holy fuck.”
she muttered, staring right at your tits. they’re better than she imagined. and she imagined them to be the most perfect tits ever. she couldn’t help herself, poor baby. she just had to lean in and take one of your nipples into her mouth. her left hand flew to your other breast, kneading the soft flesh.
the quick action made you gasp lightly, letting out a tiny whine at the feeling of her teeth nipping at your skin. she was tasting you. you felt her warm face press against your skin, as if she was trying to suffocate herself. you got a bit worried, so you tapped her cheek.
“e-els, you gotta breathe—“
you were cut off by her lips popping off your breast, a string of saliva connecting your nipple to her lips. she murmured a quiet “fuck me,” and immediately went to your other nipple, repeating the same motion.
your eyes almost roll to the back of your head. how the fuck was she so good with her tongue? the way she eagerly licked over your nipples until they hardened in her mouth, nipping at them softly. literally eating your fucking tits right in front of you.
“you’re so fucking beautiful. so so beautiful.”
ellie mumbles to you, forcing herself to get off your boobs. she could spend the rest of her life right there, but there was more to tend to. her hands went to the hem of your shorts, looking at you for permission.
as much as you wanted to say yes and let her do whatever the hell she wanted, you wanted to see her even more. you tug lightly on her hoodie, giving her a gentle smile.
“take this off first?”
say less. say fucking less, is all ellie thought. she stuttered out a quiet “okay, okay,” and nodded, messily pulling her hoodie off of her. you giggled as it got stuck on her head, and it made her giggle along with you. neither of you could stop laughing at any little thing the other one did.
you sighed at the sight of her in her sports bra and sweats, but you wanted that shit off too. ellie wasted no time either, immediately pulling off her sports bra. you didn’t even get to admire her beautiful tits before you saw her pulling her sweats off and kicking them to the side, leaving her in her spongebob boxers. they had spongebob printed all over them.
“interesting fashion choice,”
you said through a laugh, and ellie just smiled awkwardly. she would’ve chosen a different pair if she knew she was gonna do this. fuck her stupid past self for buying that pack of spongebob-themed boxers at spencer’s a few months ago.
“god, don’t look.”
she muttered, moving closer and kissing you again. you kissed back softly, still giggling a bit. nobody made you laugh as effortlessly as she did. her thumbs hooked around the soft fabric of your shorts and panties, pulling them down in one go.
all the words ellie wanted to say died in her mouth. she laid down between your thighs and was face to face with your pussy. your pussy. she thought she was going to faint, she swore she felt her vision going.
gorgeous, that’s the only word to describe you. you were absolutely soaked, your slick making your puffy pussy lips shine and look tantalizingly supple. your swollen clit, and those gorgeous folds. somebody pinch her.
the scent of your arousal filled her nostrils, and she moaned. a deep, guttural moan from the pit of her stomach, just by smelling you. your cheeks were so warm, as you lifted your head to peek down at her. you were gonna say something, but your throat closed on you the second her lips touched your cunt.
this, this was new. ellie had her nose and mouth shoved deep into your cunt, your wetness and warmth englufing her. you expected to feel her tongue push out her lips and onto you, but no. the first thing you felt was her inhaling. her nose sniffed your pussy so deeply, you fucking heard it. you looked down, confused, seeing a half-lidded ellie groan as she inhaled your scent. you didn’t say anything, literally just watching. nobody’s ever gotten off to your scent before, like ever. but shit, it turned you on way too much.
she mumbled something incomprehensible against your pussy, then slowly, languidly, started lapping at your cunt. her tongue pushing through your dripping folds and collecting every single drop of slick you had, and fucking swallowing it. swallowing after every couple of licks. you moaned, because what the actual fuck.
how did she make this so fucking hot?
it felt so good, but it wasn’t enough to make you cum. it was too slow. your hips greedily moved and pushed against her lips, but she didn’t increase her pace one bit. she was clearly doing this for her own pleasure. too pussydrunk to care. her eyelids were so low, but you saw her staring at you the entire time she ate you out. like clockwork, her tongue dipping into your hole, drinking you up like you were liquid gold.
after hearing enough of your desperate whines for more, she slowly moved herself up, the lower half of her face was completely drenched. she kissed the soft mound of your cunt, then up your tummy, through the valley of your breasts, and finally slowly kissed your lips again. tasting yourself on her tongue made you feel brain dead.
“eat my pussy, please…”
she murmured against your lips, giving you the tiniest peck on your mouth after she spoke. since when did she get so bold? it made you embarrassingly wet.
who were you to say no to her?
you simply nodded, and gently pushed her to the side so she could lay down on her back. you immediately got between her legs, as she planted her feet on the mattress. shit, she was so eager.
she lifted her butt and chuckled quietly as you pulled off her silly boxers. once they’re off, you’re met with the most beautiful sight. her auburn bush, decorating her cunt so delicately. it made your mouth pool with saliva. her pretty, red and needy clit poking out, just begging to be touched. she was so wet. you don’t think you’ve ever seen a cunt dripping this much before. she was already clenching in and out softly, drops of arousal leaking out of her and forming a tiny droplet on your bedsheets. you could’ve came from the sight.
“how long have you been wanting this?”
you ask her quietly, pressing a gentle kiss to her clit. her hips bucked into your face, and you smiled.
“ssss—so fucking long. needed you from the start… fucked myself to you s’much…”
she just kept spilling her guts to you, just trying to get you to put your fucking mouth on her cunt. your fidgety, nervous ellie that you knew turned into a completely shameless slut for you.
“yeah? you could’ve told be earlier, els.”
you tease her lightly, and she just whines desperately. you decide not to deprive her any longer, and lick a long stripe up her soaked pussy. she groans, hands flying to your hair and gripping it. your tongue licked over her clit, making her hips jolt upwards and further into your face. you had her a mess, babbling anything through grunts.
“mmh, so good…”
“jjjust like that, fuck me…”
“i-i love you. love you s’fuckin much,”
you kept sucking on her clit, letting her hips grind against your lips to her hearts desire. your left hand went to hold hers, your fingers being gripped so tightly that you felt your knuckles pop.
your right hand went straight to her pussy, unlatching your mouth from her clit so you can gather some wetness on your fingers. she groaned, and you slowly pushed in your middle and ring finger once they were slick enough. your lips went right back to her clit, sucking and licking on it again.
you got a good two pumps into her cunt before you felt them being squeezed tightly, and her voice suddenly turning high pitched and whiny.
“oh fuck!!— m’cuh.. cumminggg…”
she said quite loudly, and before you could even register what she was saying, you felt a large spurt of liquid splash onto your face. you slowly kept pumping your fingers, taking your mouth away as she literally drenched your entire face with her very theatrical squirt.
she squirted on you after only a minute.
you blinked, slowly pulling your fingers out of her and letting her catch her breath. once she regained most of her sanity from that, the humiliation set in.
she wasn’t supposed to cum that fast.
“oh shit, i’m sorry. i didn’t think… fuck.”
she said a breathlessly, looking down at your drenched face. she was so embarrassed, cumming pathetically fast. she wasn’t even properly fingered and she already made a mess all over you and your poor bed. but honestly, you didn’t care.
“ellie. that was probably the hottest thing you could’ve done.”
you smile at her, sitting up and wiping your face a bit, licking the residue off your hand. you give her a soft kiss on the lips, getting ready to settle next to her. but ellie has a different plan in mind.
“wait, i wanna make you cum.”
she’s shy with her words, as if she wasn’t slutting herself out for you less than a minute ago. she sits up, not letting you turn down her offer. she wants to make you feel good so bad. so, you let her do her thing.
but when she situates herself between your legs once more, lifting your right leg over her shoulder and kissing your calf lightly, you speak up.”
“oh, els. you’re not too overstimulated for that?”
you protest lightly, not wanting her to push herself. she shakes her head, not wanting to back down from this. this is what she’s wanted for so long. to make love to you, in the most intimate way possible.
“let me do this for you, please.”
her voice is soft and desperate, practically begging you. how could you turn down that offer. you smile warmly at her, and she takes it as your green light. she whispers a tiny “i love you” before lowering her sopping cunt and slotting it right against yours.
euphoric. mind fucking blowing. both you and ellie gasped at the sensation. your sticky, warm pussies pushed up against each other felt so good. you let out a slightly strained moan, and ellie slowly started to move her hips in a rhythm against yours. poor baby couldn’t even focus on her overstimulated clit— she was desperate to make you cum. and it felt way too good.
“oh, right there.. so good ellie.”
you let out a string of praises to her, and she just kept moving. the sloshing noises of your cunts mashed together was mind numbing. ellie definitely wanted to cry.
the way you two made love was so intimate. she felt so connected to you, no words could describe it. she started at your face with a fucked out expression, continuing the movement of her hips.
“gon…gonna cum, els…”
you warn her, and she keeps going. her hand grips onto your leg so tightly, fucking her cunt onto yours so deliciously.
“i know baby, i know. m’close too. gonna cum with you, okay?”
she rambles, voice unstable and shaky as you both reach your breaking point. you nod and keep whining broken parts of her name, your nails digging into her forearm.
with one last thrust, you two cum basically at the same time, your cunts leaking onto each other. she keeps moving her hips slowly until the overstimulation sets in, which forces her to pull away from you, her weak body plopping right down next to yours.
both of you lay in silence for a few moments, just enjoying your post-orgasm bliss. ellie’s hand snakes back over to yours, and your fingers immediately intertwine the second they touch. she looked at you with all the love in the world. and of course, you did the same right back at her.
she was still your best friend though, so you had to push her around just a bit.
“so, you wanna tell me why you own spongebob boxers?”
ellie smiles and shoves you lightly. yeah, she was so in love with you.
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Ok baiii i hope u guys liked it! :3 i can’t tell if im satisfied with it but i tried… sending love xoxo
taglist: @lil-elliesgf @a-little-bit-of-everybody 🩷
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