#crying in my corner they paired my babies ToT

[deathberi]

SEHUN & KYUNGSOO | EXO 엑소 'Let Me In' MV

[sunflowerdroplet]

Paging Doctor Duck Ch. 2

“GET…BACK…HERE…YOU!!”

“Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-HA!”

Dr. Donald’s legs and lungs burned as he chased after the troublesome, tiny turtle through the hospital halls. Hospital staff and guests hurried out of the way with indignant shrieks and shouts as doctor and child patient continued their sudden game of cat and mouse. Shelby the Turtle had been one of the patients that he had swapped with Roxanne along with the child’s mother, Mrs. Turtle. Donald had been a little hesitant accepting these particular pair of patients, his temper and bratty children not being a good mix, but the younger doctor had insisted that Baby Shelby was an absolute angel, and his mother was one of the nicest people you could ever meet. Against his better judgment, Donald had agreed.

‘And boy, am I regretting it now…’ the male mallard thought miserably as he continued after the tot, who used his tiny size to easily maneuver through wheelchairs, medical equipment, and between people’s legs, laughing obnoxiously along the way while Donald tripped, stumbled, and struggled over gurneys, Goofy’s mop bucket, and even his own two feet. ‘At this rate I’ll never catch him!’ he thought before he was struck with an idea. Doubling back, he dashed into a side hallway and ducked (heh) behind a corner, hoping to cut the turtle off. A few seconds later, Shelby’s laughter could be heard, and Donald readied himself to strike.

“Three…two…one…”

“Ah-ha-ha-WAH?!”

“Gotcha!”

Donald laughed triumphantly as he held on tight to the baby menace. Shelby began to struggle, but Donald quickly pulled out a strawberry flavored lollipop from his coat pocket, waving it enticingly in his face. “Hey Shelby, want some candy?” Immediately, Shelby stopped his struggling, clearly mesmerized by the offered treat and made grabby-hands for it. The doctor smiled and let him have it, and while the baby was distracted, he pulled out a needle out of his other coat pocket and jabbed him with it before he could react. Donald braced himself and waited for the crying to start, as it usually did when any of his patients, child or adult, but thankfully the sucker did its job and kept the child pacified.

“Phew…” Donald breathed a sigh of relief.

“Nice work, Dr. D!”

“Ay caramba! Such mastery, such skill!”

Donald turned around to see Roxanne pushing Panchito in a wheelchair. Señor Martinez followed behind, happily swishing his tail back and forth when he spotted Donald and greeted him with a sloppy, wet kiss. Much to the duck’s chagrin.

“See? I knew you could handle him!” Roxanne said with a smile.

“Yeah, well it helps when you’ve got experience from raising one’s nephews,” Donald replied, unconsciously wiping off the horse slobber from his face. He gave the Mexican rooster a questioning glance. “What are you guys up to?”

“I’m finally being discharged, amigo! I cannot wait to get home and eat my mama’s cooking! No offense, but the hospital food is a little…”

“…It’s not…that bad…?” Roxanne started, a sheepish grin on her face as she tried to delicately critique the food. “…But it could be better.”

“It’s terrible,” Donald stated point-blank. “Director Mickey claims he’s gonna get better cooks, but he’s too nice to get rid of the old ones! That’s why I bring my lunch from home.”

Shelby blew a raspberry, shaking his tiny head in disgust at the thought of the hospital’s food. This caused Donald to smile, for once they were in agreement with each other about something.

“HEY DUCK!!”

Both doctors and patient jumped at the angry sounding voice before turning around to see a female turtle stomping her way towards them. Donald trembled at the sight of her, his ears still ringing from her earlier beratement. He smiled nervously, hoping she was in a better mood than before. “Y-Yes, Mrs. Turtle?”

“Have you finished giving my precious baby Shelby his shot?! I told you we have a meeting at the Daycare, AND WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW SO WE’RE NOT LATE!!”

“Yes, ma’am! Of course, ma’am! Shelby is all ready to go!” the mallard said as he held out the baby to his overbearing mother.

Almost instantly, the angry scowl melted from the older’s turtle’s face as she retrieved her baby. “Oh thank you, Doctor Duck! Why, it doesn’t look like he cried at all! Were you good for the doctor, Shelby?” The tiny turtle eagerly nodded his head while the waterfowl bit his tongue to stop himself from saying the contrary. “And thank you, Doctor Roxanne for recommending Doctor Donald! He really is great with children!”

“I told you~.”

“Si, si! Donal’ really is amazing!”

With a final wave, both mother and baby turtle went on their way, leaving Donald, Roxanne, and Panchito to sigh in relief.

“Yowza! Mamá Tortuga sure is loud and aggressive!”

“She may seem a bit much at first, but she can be really sweet once you get to know her!” the female doctor explained.

“That sounds a lot like Donal’.”

“Hey!”

~*OoO*~

“I can’t believe I’m doing this…” muttered Donald as he pulled up in front of large ranch with horses and cattle milling about.

Today was supposed to be the doctor’s long awaited day off, but of course, as he was leaving work the night before he happened to overhear a conversation between Roxanne and her boyfriend, Max, who worked on the custodial staff part-time.

“Are you sure you can’t make it tomorrow?” asked Max, pleadingly.

“I’m sorry, Max, but something came up, and I’ll be swamped all day. We’ll have to reschedule our date to a later time…”

Donald had wanted to keep walking, that was life working at a hospital; you could be called in to work at any given moment and that was something the younger doctor had deal with, just like everyone else. Unfortunately, his traitorous legs pulled him to a stop and made him turn around and walk back to the young couple.

“…I can take over for your shift…” Donald said when the pair noticed his presence.

“Huh?”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah, really,” the older doctor said with a wry smile. As much as Donald wanted to enjoy his day off, he knew what overworking did to couples. He’d been dumped by his girlfriend, Daisy, thanks to his chaotic work schedule, among other things. And that was the last thing he wanted for Max and Roxanne. “Go on and enjoy your date tomorrow.”

“Oh, thank you, Dr. D!” exclaimed the redhead as she threw her arms around him in a tight hug. “But are you sure?” she asked cautiously, eyes holding guilt “ …I was supposed to pay a house-call to Mr. Panchito …”

“…urk…”

“…And Mr. José…”

The duck swallowed hard at the news, fighting to keep his face neutral while Roxanne and Max watched on worriedly, like they knew how much he was regretting his decision. “I…I meant what I said, and I said what I meant! Now, hurry up and go before I change my mind! Go on, get!”

Max grabbed Roxanne’s hand and together they ran for the exit. “Thanks, Dr. D!” they chorused.

“Me and my big , stupid, bleeding heart…” he mumbled as he got out of car, grabbed his medical bag and made his way towards the house. As Donald drew closer, he could hear the sound of music being strummed on guitar and someone singing. As he reached the front porch, he gasped in horror when he saw not one, but two familiar faces sitting there.

“Hey! It’s Doctor Donal’!”

“Really?!Doutor Donaldo is here to take care of us?!”

Donald balked, slowly backing away to get back into his car. It was one thing to deal with the southern birds individually, but together?! No thank you! Unfortunately for Donald, it was at this time that Señor Martinez made his presence known by snatching him up off the ground, dropping him upon his saddle before galloping towards the porch where Panchito and José were eagerly waiting.

“Welcome to my humble hogar, Donal’!” the rooster greeted cheerfully when the horse deposited the duck onto the porch. He made a move to get out of his seat, but a quick glare from the duck had him easing back down.

“Not that we’re not super happy to see you, but what happened to Doutor Roxanne? I thought she was supposed to be here?” asked José.

“I decided to take over for her shift so she could have more time off…” the duck muttered, wishing for the tenth time today that he’d just kept walking.

“How incredibly nice of you, Donaldo!”

“He is a wonderful person, is he not?” exclaimed Panchito, slapping the duck hard on the back.

The unexpected praise from his patients caused the temperamental mallard to blush despite the stinging in his back. He cleared his throat and asked, “So uh, why are you two here together, I wasn’t aware you guys knew each other.”

“Oh yes, me and Panchito met at the hospital where we bonded over the less-than-appetizing food and our favorite doutor!” said the green parrot.

Donald nodded along absently as he pulled his medical supplies from his bag. “Yep, yep, Roxanne is an incredible doctor,” he said in agreement. The younger medical professional was the ‘Employee of the Month’ for the third time in a row after all.

The parrot and rooster shared a confused look with each other. “Uh Donaldo, we were referring to you!”

“Huh?”

Panchito slapped Donald on the back again. “Don’t get us wrong, amigo. Roxana is a wonderful doctor, but you’ve been taking good care of us for so long!

“Yeah! I doubt we’d be in such great shape if it was not for your, as you Americans say, ‘tough love’!”

Donald was becoming increasingly flustered with all the compliments being thrown his way. He would receive the odd compliment here and there at work, but never to this magnitude. A small smile soon found its way onto his reddening face. “Uh…t-thank you. That…that means a lot…” He then cleared his throat to get back into his medical mindset. “A-Anyway, let’s start the check-up! Do you want to be seen privately, or are you both okay with being checked-up together?”

“I don’t mind José sitting in. He already knows about my leg injury!”

“And Panchito knows about my blackened lungs and head injury!”

“Gotcha,” Donald replied, moving to start his medical exam, beginning  with Panchito. “Have you been taking care of that leg like I asked? Making sure to stay off your injured leg and avoiding strenuous activities?”

“O si, si, I have! You can even ask José, I’ve been sitting here and taking it easy, just like you’ve prescribed!”

The duck inspected the rooster’s elevated leg, nodding in satisfaction when it didn’t appear to be swollen and seemed to be healing nicely. The rest of the exam went along smoothy, and Donald was glad to give his patient the positive results. “I’m impressed, Panchito! Your recovery is coming along nicely. Then again, you’ve always been incredibly sturdy.”

“Gracias, amigo! I have you to thank for my continued health!”

Donald flushed again before turning to his other patient. “And you, Mr. Carioca, have you’ve avoided smoking these last few days?” the white-feathered male asked while checking José’s heartbeat with his stethoscope. “…And flirting with the ladies with possessive boyfriends?”

“Indeed, I have, my friend! Check it out! Haaaaa!”

“Ack!” Donald hadn’t been prepared for José to breathe directly in his face but was relieved that it smelled minty fresh instead of old cigars.

“And you can even ask Panchito, I’ve been a good boy and followed your orders to the letter!” the Brazilian bird exclaimed with a bright smile. “So, so, are you proud of us?”

Donald blinked in surprise at the question and the hopeful look in the southern birds were leveling him with, like they were eager for his approval. “Uh…yeah, yeah I guess I am. Good job, you two,” the doctor said with a small, genuine smile.

The rest of José’s check-up went well, and doctor was pleased to give his patient a positive review. Job now done, he began packing up his things to leave, now feeling grateful that Panchito and José had been together, so he only had to make one trip.

“Aw, do you have to leave so soon?” asked the reddish-brown rooster.

“Yeah! Stay a little longer, Donaldo! Panchito is a really talented guitar player!”

“And José is sings very well!”

Well, that explained the music he heard earlier. “As fun as that sounds, I promised my nephews I would take them to the movies after I was done here.”

“I understand. It is no surprise that you would be good tio, who takes care of his little ones! But wait, maybe you can come visit the club I work at! You both should come! We’ll have a great time!”

“I don’t---”

“That sounds like a great idea!” shouted Panchito excitedly. “And you both should come to one of my rodeo shows, after I have fully recovered, of course! You can even bring your nephews along, Donal’. It’ll be a lot of fun!”

Donald felt off balance at anyone, much less his patients, wanting to spend more time with him than necessary. “Uhhh…I’m not sure if that’s…”

The green parrot grabbed the duck’s arm before he could back away from them. “I go back to work soon, Donaldo…don’t you want to make sure I don’t get hurt or strain myself?”

“…Are you using your health to blackmail me into going…?”

“Is it working?” asked Panchito.

Seeing that his two patients weren’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer, Donald sighed and gave in. “…Fine. I’ll see if I can make time for a visit…” As the southern birds and even the horse started to celebrate his acquiesce, Donald could only hope he wouldn’t regret his decision.

‘Boy, what did I get myself into…?’

TO BE CONTINUED…

[fuwafuwamedb]

The King and His Tot (Hakuno, Caster Gilgamesh, Gudako)

They couldn’t… take the two from Chaldea.

That was what Gudako had told her simply as the alarms had gone off and everyone had started running. Gudako had found out the location and Hakuno had recognized the name immediately.

“I can be backup!”

“You have an infant.”

Hakuno shrugged, holding the little one in her arms. “I’ll strap him to my back.”

“You’ll- Oh my god, do you even hear yourself?” Gudako motioned Mash ahead, shaking her head more. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. The whole area will be a danger.”

“I’ve learned more Sumerian than you could ever hope to know.”

“Okay… Rayshift has a translation thing.” Gudako waved her hand, pushing her after a second towards the couch. “Go. Lay down. Do not go near my rayshift room. You’re an honorary Chaldean, but you don’t get to go rayshifting. I’m not explaining to baby goldeen why mommy decided to go galavanting into a singularity when he was a tiny tot.”

She rushed out a moment later.

Everyone was so busy running around that she couldn’t help but to head in the direction that so many were going. Gudako was chatting with Romani about the singularity, trying to argue about strategy and which servants to keep on deck for coming over. She glanced towards the room.

Six months ago, she’d been found and brought here. The only thing she knew for sure was that she had a necklace she kept on at all times and the memory of the name Gilgamesh. The doctor, Romani, had found that she was so close to having a child that she’d quickly had her son. Ur-Nungal, she’d decided to name him after a couple weeks.

She’d studied every bit of text she could get her hands on about Gilgamesh. His personality, his appearance, his class as a servant; she’d tried summoning him, but her mana was blocked. No one knew why. She’d scared all of Chaldea by collapsing before they’d found that her mana was being blocked off.

Still, Babylonia meant Uruk. The timeframe that had been said was right.

Gilgamesh would be in the singularity.

Ur was sleeping soundly, easily staying in the harness on her chest. She wrapped her jacket around him just to be safe. The shift was gentle enough, but the climate would be sunny.

As the others came in, Gudako shouted towards the window to crank up the machine. They had to go fast.

Mash was the first to notice her.

Gudako was cursing, trying to stop things when the flash came.

Perhaps it was because she had been outside of the normal area for standing in. Maybe it was because she had been almost against the wall. Maybe it was her mana, since she hadn’t really done much support at all outside of Chaldea. Whatever it was, the others vanished.

The white light and the winds blew passed her, waking up Ur and sending her jacket flying. She had to hold onto the boy as everything went wild.

The shift was supposed to be quick.

That was what she knew about it anyway. Gudako had always described it as a split second action and then a world entirely new around her.

Instead, she was falling with Ur.

A cold chill was running through her veins. She kept her hold firm, not worrying about anything else at the moment except making sure that Ur made it through this journey.

She’d apologize endlessly to Gudako later.

She’d explain herself endlessly to Romani and Da Vinci later.

She would never again step outside her room without an okay or a go ahead from them.

Further and further they went.

Ur was starting to cry, making her coo and soothe him as best she could. She could see those red eyes looking to her, trying to understand what was going on.

And then the world came back.

Or rather, Hakuno found herself tumbling onto a bed. The room was warm, comforting to feel as she sat up and cuddled her son close. The little man was already so bothered, looking around at the strange room and shaking with the threat of a wail. His hands were holding her tightly as well.

“You were so brave,” Hakuno murmured, kissing his head. “My brave, brave little prince. We are taking a small trip, but we’re going to find our friends and go back in a few hours.”

They were in Uruk.

She could see the Sumerian art around the room. It looked like something she’d seen in photos, although the works here were much more colorful and looked new.

First mission: Find Gilgamesh.

She wanted to see him. Was he her enemy? Her friend? Did he know her at all?

If she had this chance, she could stand in his audience chamber for a moment and look up at him. It would give him the chance to see her and exclaim how she knew his name or the chance to make her realize that the name might have been a coincidence. Her son’s eyes and hair could have been from another. Maybe a brother or a relative…

Ur was calming, having seen the sun shine into the room and make the gold around them gleam.

Maybe…

There was a lot of gold in here. Ur never wanted to leave things that interested him. As she cracked open the door to the room, she found a hallway that needed investigating.

She could tiptoe down both ends, come back here, grab her son, and then go whichever way was more promising. She could cover him with a fabric from this room to keep his hair from being seen, take her look, and then leave.

Easy.

Simple.

She did just that with moderate success.

There was another hallway.

She moved quietly, glancing around corners only to pause.

Everyone in this place was dressed differently. Even with the fabrics she’d taken to cover her son and her own clothes, it didn’t provide an inconspicuous enough look to get passed these people. Someone would frown. She might be insulting as well.

Ur wiggled, beginning to wrinkle his nose.

“I’ll set you down for a moment,” Hakuno whispered.

Just a moment. She needed to think.

If she had been given more time, she could have finagled an outfit in Chaldea. These people were big on robes and dresses. She could have managed that. The rooms that she’d seen were a gamble. If she found something that was ceremonial or one in a million, she could be charged with theft.

That was dangerous.

What to do…

“Ur…”

Hakuno looked down only to feel her face drain.

Ur was gone.

No- No, he was waddling. Balanced on his two feet and walking in an almost dangerous manner, he was already around the corner and heading to where the people were. He must have thought this was Chaldea. He was used to the pharaohs and the knights, people who would coo and praise him just at being present.

The Uruk people turned and paused. A few women gasped, the guards that were there were staring at the boy as his golden hair gleamed.

He must have seen something interesting, Hakuno thought in horror, finding her son hustling his pace to get into that audience chamber.

“Ur!”

Hakuno rushed after him, stumbling around people and into the room.

She caught her boy a third into the room, wrapping her arms around him and holding him close. Her lips pressed against his face, earning a soft whine before the boy simply cuddled against her.

“You didn’t tell me that you were starting to walk,” Hakuno complained gently. “You’re going to give me a heart attack.”

“Ummumm…”

“Shhh, we need to leave.”

This was foolish. She could find Gudako first, explain, and maybe she would help. Her son being here was a bad plan. Mash and the others could watch him for a moment, couldn’t they?

Somehow, that didn’t feel possible.

“Ummum!”

“What is it?” Hakuno looked down at the boy. “What’s wrong?”

“Umm,” the boy waved his hand in another direction as someone cleared their throat.

Her gaze followed that hand, all the way to the man sitting on the throne.

Adorned in few and far between attire, a man of blond hair sat in the center of the seat. His legs were both pressed to the floor, his body leaning forward. The turban on his head held two horns that gleamed slightly in the light. The gold necklace bore chains that held onto his vest, no doubt there due to needing to keep him dressed. His pants held holes and his chest was exposed, leaving little to the imagination.

It was the gaze that held the most of her attention though.

That piercing red gaze was like a snake’s, looking between her and Ur. It froze her to the bone, leaving her unable to speak as her son looked back over to him.

“…What is this?”

I know that voice.

Her whole body hurt. Something was making her head feel like it was suffering through a deep migraine or trying to split in two. She wanted to run. She needed to run.

Ur beamed up at the man, waving his arms both in the man’s direction.

“Ah-bum!”

The room couldn’t have gotten any quieter at Ur’s statement.

Before her, the man at the top of all those stairs in that throne simply watched, not daring to even blink.

“HAKUNO!”

The sound of running came her way. Mash’s face blocking her view of the king. She could feel Ur slip from her grip as she found Gudako trying to speak. She tried to grab the boy, but he was crawling towards the stairs, stairs were a pair of slippered feet were walking down.

“Chaldeans!”

The man’s voice was all over the place. Her mind felt like it was in a spin cycle.

“This… is different from what I had foreseen…”

“I don’t understand what’s going on either, my king.” Another’s voice spoke up, closer to her.

“My friend ended up coming with us by mistake. We’ll send her and the boy back quickly.”

“Oh?”

She was fading out. Her eyes looked up as the man from before lingered over her, holding Ur against his chest.

“…Your woman is not going anywhere,” the man told them all simply. “I do believe Merlin and your groups have brought me something of merit. It’s a shame the timing is so poor.”

Her eyes closed.

The last thing she heard was that man’s voice calling for an apsu, the magician doctors.

[raendown]

Surprise @bouncyirwin! You thought the smiles were done? Never! I was commission by the very kind @sarcastic-mommy to give you more fluff! 

Pairing: ShikamaruSakura Word count: 1238 Rated: G Summary: Their journey together had come so far already. He couldn't really blame her for taking a moment to look back at it all.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header!

The Path Still Winding On

Watching his son nod off in the middle of telling his own story, Shikamaru could only shake his head and chuckle. He could remember what it was like when Shikadai was a newborn and how exhaustingly terrifying those months had been as a first time parent. Now here he was, newly retired from active duty and awaiting the birth of his fourth child’s second daughter any day now. It was hard to believe that so much time had gone by already. 

Several children went stampeding past him and Shikamaru reached out with his shadows to catch one of his granddaughters when she tripped on the way by, setting the girl to rights with a pat on the head even as he looked around for his wife. It wasn’t like her not to be in the very center of the madness. 

There really was no other way to describe the chaos that took over the quiet household every holiday when their four children and the families each of them had grown came together for good food, good conversation, and to reminisce over good memories. Sakura could usually be found in the epicenter of it all, ruling over her brood like she had once commanded the battlefield. All of their children had inherited enough Nara intelligence not to question her orders - or at least they had learned not to at fairly young ages. Some of the grandchildren, however, were still discovering the world and the sharpness of their matriarch’s eyes when displeased. 

Rising from the table made his knees creak and his back ache. Shikamaru huffed about the tribulations of aging even as he nimbly dodged around two little tots having a mock battle in the middle of the kitchen. Just watching how much energy they possessed made him tired - although that really wasn’t anything new, he’d always preferred to be still when the option was there. 

It took a bit of searching in a few unlikely places but he did eventually find his wife. 

“What are you doing in here?” he asked, closing their bedroom door behind himself. Sakura looked up from the babe cradled in her arms and the moment he saw her tears Shikamaru was across the room cradling her face in his palms. 

“Oh stop,” she told him with a wet laugh. “They’re happy tears.” 

“Has your age finally caught up with you then? Senile old woman, making me sniff you out in some dark corner all alone just to find you sobbing over happiness.” 

If not for the precious burden in her arms she would have swatted him for his cheek. She rolled her eyes instead before leaning in to rest her head against his shoulder, gently bouncing their youngest grandchild in the same blanket they had wrapped their firstborn child with the day they brought him home. 

“Rich of you to call me old with that many wrinkles in your face,” Sakura murmured. 

“What’s made you cry, love?”

“I was just watching them all smile and laugh and I started thinking about how thankful I am for everything we have. Then I thought that if I stayed there I might burst in to tears and I just didn’t want anyone to worry, that’s all.” A sigh escaped her but it was a happy sound. “Sometimes I just can’t seem to wrap my head around it all. One day I was only a little girl with nothing but decent chakra control and a brain too big for her muscles to keep up with. Then it feels like I turned around and I’ve got a husband, four children, more grandchildren than I can keep up with, and one of the boys down the road asks me to tell him stories of the days when I was a war hero. A hero! Me!”

“You’re certainly my hero,” Shikamaru told her. 

Her first instinct was to laugh because of course a woman with as many accolades as his wife would never see them as anything to celebrate. She had always been the type to carry duty and honor as though they were no more than her due to the world. It didn’t matter how many years had passed or how much self-confidence she gained, Sakura would never look in to a mirror and see the guiding star that so many others saw her as. It was part of her charm.

“Quit trying to butter me up and hand me that bottle. This one’s about to start fussing.” 

The words were hardly out of her mouth when the babe kicked out with one little foot and opened his mouth to loose a hungry squall. Shikamaru could only shake his head, doing as she asked. 

“It’s like you’re in his head,” he remarked. She only shrugged. “You’re sure that you’re alright?”

“Yes, I’m just fine. What do you think, should we have another one?” Sakura looked up at him with a cheeky smile. They both knew she was long past the age of bearing another child but still Shikamaru couldn’t help the gentle thud inside his chest.

With every year that passed their family grew larger and larger, with every child born their hearts grew fuller and fuller, and he couldn’t imagine having lived this life with anyone but her. 

“How about we get another cat instead?” he suggested, trying to ignore the way his words came out choked with emotion. 

“A lovely idea. If you’re very nice to me I might even let you pick the name.”

“Michio if it’s a boy.”

Such a quick answer startled his wife, earning him a pair of wide blinking eyes that quickly watered and began spilling down her cheeks again. With both hands occupied Sakura had nothing to hide her face behind but that was alright; Shikamaru had wiped her tears before and he would continue to do so until the day he could no longer lift his hands. And then he would kiss them away. 

With her face cradled between his palms Shikamaru leaned in to press their foreheads together. “Would you like to stay in here for a few more minutes?” 

“I think that’s best,” Sakura answered in a wavering voice. “Thank you, Shika. Thank you for this life we’ve had.”

“Hey now, we’re still kicking. There’s still a lot of life for us to live. Naps to take and all that. Now come on, let’s sit you down over there, you can feed the baby and we can just stay in here until someone comes looking, alright?”

Sakura nodded without saying anything but she was wearing a smile as he led her over to sit on the bed, making a show of grumbling when his knees creaked again just to hear her quiet laughter. It was silly, he thought, for her to be thanking him when he was the one who could be nothing but grateful. Everything he had in this world, every happiness and every triumph, he owed it all to the beautiful woman at his side. After all these years together he still fell more and more in love each day he woke to hear her humming away in the next room with her morning tea, patiently waiting for a lazy man who didn’t deserve her to wake up and face the next step of their journey together. 

Maybe someday he could make her understand what an honor it had been to take this journey with her. 

[amyscascadingtabs]

i’ll walk through hell with you

chapter 6. i’ll be your arms, i’ll be your steady satellite

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read earlier chapters

The Santiago Siblings with families spend a weekend together, Amy’s feeling weird, and Jake’s getting suspicious.

september.

Amy throws out the ovulation tests first. Then, most of the pregnancy tests.

She keeps a few, in case of emergencies, but she hides them so far inside their bathroom cabinet, buried underneath boxes of band-aids and disinfectant wipes, she tells herself it’s the same thing.

 She also throws out the vitamin supplements and the gross herbal teas, and puts the cherished pages of the fertility binder through her paper shredder while Jake shakes his head at her.

“You’re being crazy,” he states when she empties the paper confetti in the trash, immediately tying the bag shut and placing it by the door.

“Nope,” she responds. “I’m finally being sane.”

She stops doing yoga, not that she got into a habit with it in the first place. She goes back to her usual diet and coffee habits. She deletes every fertility-related bookmark off of her computer and unfollows all the Instagram accounts she once tried to find support in. There’s a smidge of panic and hard-hitting grief the first few times she sees a pregnant person somewhere, a harsh pain that comes with knowing for certain she’ll never experience it again, but most of all, Amy feels free. As heartrending as the knowledge is, she’d take it over uncertainty any day of the week.

 Her days of the week are moving quickly, too. It's like the moment she stopped being consumed by this, the rest of her life caught up with her, and now it’s speeding past. Leah starts her first Tiny Tots preschool class, and her parents cry for a good ten minutes after dropping her off the first time because their baby is growing up and it’s all moving too fast. They start doing proper research on allergy-friendly cats and even schedule a visit at a cattery. Work speeds up and she has to work overtime for more days in a row than she's done since having a kid, making her fear their apartment will fall into pieces and her daughter forget who she is, but she comes home each night to dinner on the table and Leah in pajamas begging her to read a bedtime story. She makes sure to thoroughly thank her husband, especially the night when there’s a takeout box with potato pancakes waiting for her, and promises him a proper reward once the weekend rolls around.

“Cool, cool,” he mumbles half-asleep as he makes himself the little spoon in bed. “Also, while we’re on the topic, those potato pancakes definitely weren’t because Leah and I had ice cream for dinner. In case you were thinking that.”

“Jake.”

“Mm. Goodnight, babe.”

 Even without the fertility treatments, her free time between work and family life remains strictly limited, but she does manage to squeeze in something much needed. Every other Thursday night at eight o’clock sharp, Amy finds herself outside the door to Rosa’s apartment, and every night Rosa cuts right to the chase.

“You’re not pregnant?”

“Nope.”

“Not taking any fertility medication?”

“Stopped them all.”

“Take a shot, Santiago.”

She’s decided not to tell more people about her experiences, doesn’t see the point when all she wants is to forget, but every other Thursday night, she vents. Rosa lets her speak, sometimes offering commentary but mostly just nodding, and Amy’s pleasantly surprised to discover it helps.

She’s not alone, and most importantly, she’s going to be okay again.

 ~

 october.

As the end of October arrives, it becomes time for the weekend with all the Santiago siblings and their families renting a cabin upstate. Tony calls it a tradition even though it's the first time they're doing it, but when Amy points this out, he simply shrugs and says it's important to have goals in life.

At first, she's skeptical about it - spending four days in a cabin with fifteen adults, thirteen kids and one dog feels like a polar opposite to the relaxed family time she craves - but it's been forever since she saw them all and she supposes she could use some time away from Brooklyn’s buzzing city life, so they decide to go. She nearly regrets it after three hours in the car with the Frozen-soundtrack on repeat, but then they reach their destination, and all is forgiven when Leah runs to hug all her cousins.

 Friday morning, they arrange a big leaf fight in the yard. At first, it's kids against adults, but as more and more children drop out, it becomes Santiago siblings against partners, and as more and more adults drop out too, eventually it's just Amy and Julian against Jake. The fight lasts until Jake starts complaining about there being leaves in his ear. At that point, Amy's laughing so hard her stomach hurts.

“Loser does all the dishes after lunch,” Julian grins, and Jake looks like he's about to cry.

Amy checks in on him after ten minutes. His shirt is wet from the soapy water and she can see the terror in his eyes as he looks to the mountain of dirty plates, glasses, and cutlery, but he’s scrubbing hard at them one by one with furious determination.

“Need any help, babe?” She sneaks her arms around him from behind, pressing a kiss to his neck and pulling out a small twig that’s still stuck in the back of his hair.

“Desperately,” he groans, wiping his hands on his jeans and facing her. “But I have to prove my strength to your brothers.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure Julian just wanted a reason to see you in a wet t-shirt.”

“He could have just asked.”

Amy laughs, shaking her head. “I’ll help you out.”

He squints. “Are you sure? You look kind of... tired.”

She raises an eyebrow.

“Not like that,” he says, rolling his eyes. “But you look a little - I don’t know - pale? Did you not have coffee this morning?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t finish it. Creamer tasted weird.” He opens his mouth to say something, but she shuts him up with a glare. “I’m fine. Come on, I’ll help you finish these.”

 -

 They manage to get done right on time for a family walk in the woods. Leah makes it about a quarter of a mile before she starts complaining, so Jake carries her on his shoulders, which results in immediate chaos and tears from David’s twins when they demand the same and David can’t carry them both. Amy helps her brother by carrying Samuel on her shoulders, but the kid must have dog hair on his clothes from playing with Julian's dog, because her nose gets stuffy after only a minute. If it weren’t for the animal being straight-up adorable, or for Leah's excitement when Julian asks her if she wants to hold Oscar’s leash for a minute, Amy swears she would be yelling at this dog, too.

 The stuffy nose lasts for the entire afternoon, and she curses the fact that she forgot her allergy nasal sprays at home. Luckily, she’s surrounded by plenty of good distractions, and the afternoon disappears in a jumble of trying to keep different children from hurting themselves or others while also trying to make sure they’re happy, and if she’s not watching any kids, she’s trying to keep up with what feels like a billion different conversations going on at the same time. It’s enough to make anyone exhausted. She tries to have another cup of coffee, black this time to avoid the probably-bad creamer, but she only gets down a few sips before her throat goes all dry and she has to breathe real hard for the nausea to pass. She pours out the rest in the kitchen sink.

 Despite her tiredness and stuffy nose and sudden coffee aversion, Amy has a lovely day. When afternoon becomes evening, everyone who isn’t cooking dinner makes their way down to the nearby lake to watch the sunset. Leah’s in Jake’s arms with her head on his shoulder, looking all cozy in her purple fluffy hoodie as she sings the lyrics to Moana in the wrong order, and Amy can’t fight the urge to kiss her sweet little face until Leah grimaces and says stop, mama, hiding her face in Jake’s shirt as he laughs.

They’re her favorite sight in the world - the love of her life, and the child who’s held Amy’s whole heart in her hands since the first time she waved to them on an ultrasound screen over three years ago. Jake whispers something to Leah that Amy can’t hear, the girl giggles, and her heart aches with how much she loves them. She may never get the kids-plural family she pictured in her younger days, but she gets this, and it’s better than anything she could have imagined.

 -

When all the kids have gone to bed - save for seven-month-old Charlie, who’s wide awake and happy to get passed around between different pairs of arms - the adults gather in the living room for a chance at uninterrupted conversation and a glass of wine. Amy finds space in the corner of a couch, with Jake on her left and Tony’s wife Clara in an armchair on her right, and gratefully accepts the glass of red wine Lucas gives her. She takes a sip, first enjoying the taste, but the second sip tastes off and the third is awful. She tries to hide her grimace as she puts it down on the side table and asks for a glass of water instead.

 She's not really listening to the conversation, zoning out and just enjoying the comfort of Jake's arm around her shoulders, but Clara nudging her arm gets her attention.

“Do you want to hold Charlie for a while, Amy?”

“I’d love to,” she says, and the next second there's a baby in her arms who's shooting her the brightest of toothless smiles and reaching for her necklace. Charlie’s chubby fingers try to grab the L and J-pendants, so she gently separates his hands from them and he starts playing with a sling of her hair instead.

“Oh, you're strong,” she laughs as he grips it. “Wow.”

“Tell me about it,” Clara laughs. “Sometimes he’s lucky he’s cute.”

Amy smiles. The baby is already snuggling his head into her chest, making himself comfortable. He's truly adorable with round cheeks and light-ginger hair, melting her heart as he grips onto her shirt.

She's missed this. Still, it’s less painful now that she knows - she might never have more babies of her own, but she’ll always have plenty of nephews and nieces to hold, cuddle and play with.

“You're adorable,” she whispers to Charlie with a kiss to his forehead. “Yes, you are.”

“Hey, Amy?” David catches her attention from the opposite couch. “Aren't you guys going to have more kids?”

She can feel Jake freeze next to her.

“We’ve thought of it,” she says calmly. “But we landed on one kid. We’re happy with that.”

Jake squeezes her shoulder.

“Really? Huh.” David nods in surprise. “Don’t you want more kids, Jake?”

“It's not my decision to make,” he shrugs, like it was an obvious fact. “I'm just hoping we can get a cat soon.”

 Charlie falls asleep in Amy's arms, staying there even as people begin to drop out and head to bed. She gives him back to Tony when it’s time for a diaper change, closing her eyes and leaning against Jake's chest once her arms are free again.

“You okay, Ames?”

“Yeah,” she promises. “Just sleepy.”

“You didn't drink anything,” he notes, nodding to her untouched glass.

“Did you try the wine?” He nods. “I hated it. I think Julian has crappy taste in alcohol.”

Jake shrugs. “It tasted fine to me. Maybe your taste buds are being weird.”

“Or I have better taste than you.” She kisses him on the cheek. “Let's go to bed, babe.”

 -

 She’s barely closed her eyes before Leah climbs into their bed, full of energy as she makes space between her parents.

“I wanna go outside and play,” she insists, and when this doesn’t garner enough of a response, she frowns. “It’s morning!”

Amy reluctantly opens her eyes to reach for her phone, reading the time. “Half-past seven.” Weird. They went to bed at one a.m. and Leah’s slept through the night, yet it feels like she was woken up after ten minutes.

“Hey, I have an idea,” says Jake, pulling his daughter close and tickling her neck. “How about we play in here for a while? I have a great idea for something.”

“What?”

“Well, you see, bumblebee, you’re a super brave space pirate. This bed is your spaceship, and mama and I are your innocent, weak humans that you’ve captured.” He yawns. “The rules are that we have to lay still. If we move, we’ll fall out into space and, uh, die.”

“Okay! Dada, still!”

“I love this game,” Amy mumbles, pulling the covers closer around herself.

 The spaceship game lasts a full ten minutes before Leah tires, deciding that her parents are too boring captives for her taste and starting a new game that circles around her trying to jump from the bed onto her mattress in increasingly creative and less-than-safe ways. Jake defuses the situation before she tries to do a backflip, suggesting that they get out of bed and see if any other cousins are up yet, and Amy tries to open her eyes again. It’s painful - her body screams for more sleep, and she channels this into the pleading look she gives Jake.

“Can I get another half hour? I feel like I’m going to collapse if I get up now.”

“Huh.” A line appears between his brows. “Are you sure you’re fine?”

“Yeah,” she yawns. “I just need thirty minutes, like I said.”

“Okay, I’ll wake you up when there’s breakfast - Lee, wait!”

He disappears out the door chasing after their daughter, and Amy sighs in relief as she lets her eyes fall closed again.

It still feels like no time has passed before Jake comes to tell her the thirty minutes are up, but she forces herself to get out of bed anyway. They have a long day ahead of them, and Amy’s not risking getting teased by her brothers for wanting to sleep in. Instead, she throws on a hoodie to hide the fact that she’s freezing, and pours herself a big cup of coffee at the breakfast table. She manages four sips before it threatens to come back up again. Luckily, one-year-old Milo chooses that exact moment to almost choke on his piece of toast, and no one except for Jake seems to notice the gagging expression on her face as she tries to swallow everything back down.

 She must be getting the flu, or maybe she’s picked up some other bug from her daughter. She’s cold, a little dizzy, and the stuffy nose refuses to pass even though she keeps away from the dog. They go to play in the woods while the sun is still shining, and Amy’s enjoying herself as she watches Jake run with Leah in his arms towards a tree, touch her feet against the wood and yell Parkour! only to make the girl lose it with laughter every time, but she’s so tired when they get home, she’s barely sat down in an armchair before she’s nodded off again.

 “Hey, Ames.” Jake’s firm hand on her shoulder makes her return to consciousness. His mouth is set in a hard line, and there’s a seriousness to the way he watches her that reminds her of the way he gets whenever she’s really sick, all worried and overly protective like he thinks she’ll instantly drop to the floor if he’s not right there. “Can we talk in private?.”

She nods, following him back to their bedroom where he closes the door. He sits down cross-legged on Leah's mattress, and she takes her chance to lay down on the bed, propping her head up with two pillows. “Okay. What’s up?”

He gives her a scrutinizing look. “Are you sure you’re just tired?”

“I mean, I feel a little off, I’m sort of dizzy and my allergies are annoying.” She sniffles. “Probably coming down with some bug. Why?”

“Your immune system is way better than mine, though. I’m always the first one to get sick after Leah and I’m fine. I don’t even think she’s been ill in weeks. Isn’t it weird that you’re the only one feeling sick?”

Amy shrugs. “Exception that proves the rule?”

“Yeah, or you’re not sick.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ames,” he says in a low voice, his tone slightly hesitant. “You don’t think there’s a chance you might be - I don’t know, pregnant?”

“Come on. How would that have happened?”

“Uh -”

She rolls her eyes. “Sure, but I think we established my body didn’t want it to happen for us again.”

“Maybe, but face the facts. You’re exhausted, your taste buds are funny, and you were like, seconds away from throwing up your coffee this morning. You’re cold, you’re dizzy…” He counts on his fingers as he lists the symptoms. “It sounds a lot to me like before we found out you were pregnant with Leah?”

“Or it sounds like it's been a couple of intense months, my body's fighting an infection and I’m getting ill once I'm relaxing.”

“Have you gotten your period this month?”

She glares at him. “Stop.”

“Well, have you?”

She sighs and pulls out her phone from her pocket, opening it to her period tracker. Current Cycle - day 33. “It's a few days late.”

Jake’s eyes go wide.

“No.” She shakes her head before he can say anything. “Nope. That doesn't mean anything. My cycle got screwed up after the treatments and they said it could take months to return to normal.”

“Yeah, but…”

“No. Seriously. We both know I’m not pregnant.”

He squints. “We do?”

“Yes. And I can’t let myself think about it, Jake, because if I do…” She bites her lip at the crystal-clear memories of ovulation strips, shots and negative pregnancy tests, of feeling betrayed by her own body time and time again. “I’ll start to go crazy. I just got away from that obsessive headspace. I can’t go there again, I can’t have another negative staring me in the face, I just… can’t.”

He nods slowly, gaze still full of worry as he sits down next to her. “Okay. I just thought I’d ask.” His hands rub soft circles on her neck to ease the tension there, his lips brushing against hers for a few seconds. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” She sighs. “God, I need another nap.”

“I’ll make an excuse for you,” he says, and she swears she’s never been more in love with him in her entire life.

 -

 Jake doesn’t bring it up again, and Amy’s grateful. It's not that she doesn't wish for his suspicions to be true - her falling pregnant naturally would be a miracle - but she can't let herself think about it, let alone hope. She spent a year hoping and it led nowhere. This isn't the first time she's imagined symptoms that turned out to be nothing. If she lets herself have hope another time, only to be faced by cruel disappointment, she's certain she's going to shatter.

The weather changes from gorgeous sunshine to heavy rainfall, effectively locking every present Santiago family member inside of the cabin and creating yet more chaos. Luis and Christian organize a game night for the kids, first consisting of child-friendly memory-games and puzzles, but as more and more kids go to bed, eventually the adults drag out Monopoly and get drunk. They also get insanely competitive. When Simon starts threatening Tony about having him do another challenge for his YouTube channel, and Tony threatens to wrestle Simon right there on the floor, the game is quickly changed to Cards Against Humanity which soon becomes a dangerous game of Never Have I Ever. Amy opts for alcohol-free wine, and it’s probably lucky, because her brothers are ruthless. Never have I ever had a catastrophic double date - drink. Never have I ever made out with someone at work - drink. Never have I ever accidentally startled a man with a genetic heart condition, resulting in his immediate death - drink, remind Julian he’s an asshole, and come up with a good revenge question. She’s relieved they go to bed before anyone can suggest a game of truth or dare.

 The next day, she's feeling much better, and manages almost half a cup of coffee without nausea. She must've been right about it being some kind of infection, she thinks, pleased that it seems to be passing.

The weather isn't improving, so she teams up with a few of her brothers and their families to go to a nearby, kid-friendly, museum while Jake, Julian, and Simon visit a sneaker outlet. Leah finds an activity station and plays there for nearly fifteen minutes with her cousins before breaking down in tears when someone takes a crayon from her, and after it’s been another ten minutes of crying, Amy eventually chalks the child’s sudden fury down to low blood sugar. She ruffles through her bag for a snack and finds an unopened bag of dried mango, and two slices later, Leah is back to normal. Amy also finds an unopened tampon package, giving her a nudging reminder that her period’s still nowhere to be seen, but she shakes away the thought. Had this been a couple of months ago, she would've been rushing to take a test, and she gives herself a mental pat on the back for acting so calm about it now. She knows this means nothing and she's not stressing out. There’s this tingling, cramping, feeling low in her stomach anyway, aching for a moment before immediately fading. Surely that must mean her period is coming.

 They go to bed early on their last night away, ready for the drive home the next day. Leah wakes up crying about a nightmare, so Amy ends up sleeping next to her in their bed with Leah's little legs curled against Amy's stomach and her hand gripping her wrist. As far as sleeping positions go, she could think of far more comfortable or ergonomic ones, but there's no denying the coziness of it. Leah snuggles her nose into the crook of Amy's neck, and Amy falls asleep just smelling her head, and if she’d ever been asked to describe the word peaceful with one situation, she would have chosen this.

 -

 At first, she thinks she's dreaming about a real past event. She's back in the bedroom of their apartment, with Jake sleeping on her right and Leah asleep in her room, but Amy's awake. She can't tell why, isn't fully aware of the narrative here, but she can tell that dream-Amy has an instinct. Something is causing her to get out of bed, walk towards their bathroom and grab a pregnancy test - one of the cheap paper strip ones - from a visible spot in the bathroom cabinet. Something is making her take it. Dream-Amy watches the test, sitting perched on the toilet and staring intently at the first line, and after what feels like the blink of an eye inside of her dream-reality, a second, faint but clear, line shows up.

Even though it's a dream, the explosive happiness is every bit as real as if she'd been awake. She takes the paper strip, wrapping it in a bit of toilet paper, and is about to go ask dream-Jake if he can see it too when she’s pulled out of the dream and back to reality.

“What the hell,” she mumbles as she opens her eyes. Jake and Leah are still sleeping, and it's every bit as dark outside as when they went to bed, but Amy's wide awake and officially weirded out. She's never been one for dream analysis or seeing them as omens of any kind, but something about the realistic feeling has caught her attention, leaving her confused and wondering if there’s any truth to it. She tries to repeat to herself that there isn’t, she isn’t pregnant and should go back to sleep, but her mind is reeling. She tries to do some breathing exercises to force her mind and body back to a relaxed state, but it’s out of reach. The what if-narrative plays on repeat in her head, and eventually, she accepts that she’s going to need to at least outrule the possibility. She’s pretty sure there’s a spare test left somewhere in her bag.

Carefully, she frees herself from the three-year-old’s grip and climbs over Jake instead. He grunts and opens his eyes for a second, but closes them again in the next.

 Amy uses her phone’s flashlight to dig through the contents of her bag, finding her calendar, pencil case, notebooks, and a crossword magazine. Headphones, painkillers, an extra phone charger. More snack bars and packets of dried fruit. Wet wipes, tissues, hair ties, and some makeup. She moves on to the inner pocket, finding allergy medication, tampons, even an expired condom that seems to have nestled its way into the bottom of the bag and stayed there for years, but no spare pregnancy tests. She almost thinks she’s found one, but a closer look tells her it’s an ovulation indicator, and she groans with disappointment. She could have sworn she left one for emergencies, but suddenly it’s gone, and she could wait until tomorrow and buy one, but she wants - scratch that, she needs - to know now.

 “Ames? Are you looking for something?” Jake’s voice is raspy, a mix of surprise and pure confusion in his tone, and she hums vaguely without looking back at him.

“I thought I had something in here,” she says in a whisper. “But I can’t find it. It’s nothing, you can go back to sleep.”

“What’re you tryna find?”

She sighs. “I had a weird dream, okay? So I want to take a pregnancy test, because I just need to know it wasn't real so I can go to sleep. I thought I had one in here, but I don’t, so…”

He yawns, and then, in a movement far swifter than she would expect from someone barely-awake, he gets out of bed and walks over to the plastic bag he brought home from the sneaker outlet.

“Jake, I’m sorry, but I don’t care about your sneakers right now,” she wheezes. He shakes his head and brings out another, smaller CVS plastic bag.

“I know,” he says, “but you might care about this.” He throws her a familiar, pink-and-white carton, and she’s not even caught it before she knows exactly what it is.

“You bought a pregnancy test.”

He nods.

“What - when - why?”

“There was a CVS close to the outlet, I told Julian and Simon I needed to buy some Aspirin, ran in and got this. They didn’t see it,” he assures her, noticing the worry on her face. “I was smooth. And as for why - I know you said you didn’t want to hope, but I thought in case you changed your mind and wanted to know, well... “ He shrugs. “It would suck if you were stuck here with no way of finding out, even if it was just another day. I know how much you hate not knowing.”

She twists the carton in her hands. “I really do hate it.”

“So, are you…”

“I’m going to take it. Now.”

“Now - now?”

“Now.”

 There’s a beat of silence, and then they’re silently racing each other out the door.

 Amy’s so used to the steps at this point, she doesn’t even feel the anxiety kick in until she places the test on the sink and nods at Jake to start the timer. There’s barely space for them both to sit on the floor of the tiny bathroom, so they’re squeezed together, him stroking her hair and holding her hand as she focuses on keeping her breathing steady.

It doesn't matter what it shows, she tries to tell herself without success. It’s just to check.

And yet, there's this odd sense of hope in her heart she doesn't recognize from the last months.

 “How did you guess?” She asks Jake, and he wrinkles his forehead, so she clarifies. “You remembered all the symptoms.”

“Oh.” He blushes. “This is going to sound bad, but… do you remember before we found out you were pregnant with Lee? There was like a week before you took a test, where you kept complaining about how it felt like you were getting the flu, or some kind of infection, because you were feeling off.” He draws quotation marks with his fingers. “You kept repeating that. And I was so proud of myself, because I'm always the first one of us two to get sick, but I was feeling fine. I thought I’d finally get to brag, and I was so excited, but then we found out you weren't sick.”

“Just pregnant.”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “Which, of course, was so much better. Except I never got to brag. It's haunted me since then. So this time, when you said you were feeling off and like you were getting sick… I remembered, and I made a guess. Also, I’ve read the list in your binder. But honestly, it was mostly the first thing.”

Amy laughs, genuine and hearty despite her nervosity. “You're ridiculous.”

He puts his arm around her shoulders. “And yet you keep wanting to have kids with me.”

“It’s like I must be in love with you or something.”

Her comment makes him snicker, and she thinks, not for the first time, that there could never be another person she'd want to do this with - no matter the results on that test.

 The timer rings. Jake turns it off.

“Do you want to check, or should I?”

“I don't think I can see another negative test,” she whispers, the fear making her heart beat out of her chest, and he nods and tells her to close her eyes. She hears him fumble for the test, and then he finds it, and there’s a moment’s silence that drives her crazy.

    “Ames?”

    “Yeah?”

    “What’d you say two lines meant, now again?”

    She opens her eyes, immediately snatching the test from his hands. “No way.”

    It’s faint, but there’s an obvious second line.

Amy just stares at it. She's worried it’ll disappear, like her mind’s playing tricks on her, but it stays.

“This is crazy.” Tears of happiness flood her eyes once she speaks. “This is - this is absolutely insane.”

“Told you so,” says Jake in an attempt of sounding smug, but she can tell he’s about to tear up, too.

“This is positive.”

“Sure is.”

“Oh my god.” She can’t tell if she’s laughing or crying, but she’s shaking, unable to believe her eyes as she looks from the test to Jake and back at the test. “Oh my god, you’re going to brag about this forever.”

He grins. “Consider the fact that I won’t to be a testament to how much I love you.”

She’s too overwhelmed to know what to say, so she just hugs him, smiling into his chest as he peppers kisses to the top of her head.

“Hey, Ames?”

“What?”

“We’re having another baby.”

She’s spent a year wishing for it, getting used to the thought in her desperation to get there, yet his words are impossible to take in. Another baby.

“Seems that way,” she whispers, and he laughs.

 There’s a second test in the carton, and Amy wants to take it right away, but Jake convinces her to save it for tomorrow so they can go back to bed before anyone notices they’ve been occupying this bathroom for a suspicious amount of time.

She doesn’t think she’ll be able to sleep, not when a thousand thoughts are running laps in her head and she’s so in shock she thinks she might still be dreaming, but then Jake’s hand sneaks under the hem of her t-shirt and rests low on her stomach to make sure they're warm, he mumbles, and she places her own hand over his and relaxes.

 ~

  november.

Logically, Amy knows she’s pregnant.

All of the tests, a new one every day even though Jake tells her she’s being crazy again, are coming back two dark lines and plus signs and bolded words Pregnant, and the expensive test with the week indicator which shows how long it’s been since ovulation changes from 1-2 to 2-3 and 3+ Weeks. The fertility clinic gives her a blood test, confirms it’s a healthy pregnancy and schedules an early ultrasound two weeks later, which feels like an eternity. Time is moving excruciatingly slow, even slower when the nausea fully kicks in and she wants to spend as much of the day as possible laying down. She’s secretly happy she’s feeling terrible because that means the hormone levels are rising, and Jake insists on high-fiving her after the first time she throws up, but it does make the days feel even longer when all she wants is for them to pass.

Emotionally, the knowledge is much more difficult to wrap her head around. She’s terrified, analyzing every minuscule shift in her body in fear of there being something wrong and checking for blood in her underwear several times a day. She’s short on distractions, because she’s exhausted and moving too much makes her feel sick, so she’s mostly stuck on the couch after work watching movies and cuddling with Leah. They're not telling her yet - they're not telling anyone, except Rosa who figured it out soon as Amy declined a tequila shot - and Amy feels like a shitty parent who doesn't have the energy to run around and properly play with her kid right now, but Leah seems to get that her mom’s not feeling well, because she's more than happy to read books together and watch iPad until Jake comes home and takes her to the park for a bit.

 She wants to be happy, and every time she adds another positive test to the growing collection, she is, but she’s also dreaming nightmares and waking up in cold sweats in fear that this will be taken away from them. It’s too good to be true, the kind of happy ending you read about but never experience, and she can’t for the life of her try to fathom that it’s real. In short, she’s so hormonal she cries at stubbing her toe in the doorway, so nauseous she has to force down the few things she can consider eating, feeling guilty over how little energy she has to give Leah and how much responsibility this puts on Jake, and she can’t even allow herself to trust that they are having another baby.

 “This isn’t forever,” Jake tells her on a particularly exhausting evening after she's cried in his arms and eaten three lemon popsicles because they're the only thing that tastes remotely good. When she's cried a little more, about her fear and bad conscience and the deep shame in not being able to feel happy about something she's dreamt of for a year, he tells her, “just three more days until the scan,” and that does help.

-

 Amy doesn’t want to exaggerate, but she’s pretty sure the hours between six a.m., when Leah wakes up, and nine a.m., when the ultrasound appointment is, are the longest three hours of her life. Mornings are enough of a struggle to get through with a stubborn three-year-old who’ll put up a fight about anything from clothes to breakfast to brushing her teeth if she’s in the wrong mood, and they’re not made any easier when Amy’s feeling like this, but it’s moving particularly slow today when nearly all of her focus is divided between worrying about the scan and trying to keep her breakfast down. In the end, Leah doesn’t brush her teeth this morning and she has a yogurt smoothie in the car, but they manage to drop her off in time and she gives them a long hug each, so Amy considers it a success.

 Unfortunately, it’s a temporary one. She’s so nervous she can’t think straight, can’t focus on the Taylor Swift-tunes playing in the car or reply when Jake asks if she’s excited. Her head is playing possible nightmare scenarios on a loop, of there not being anything there, of them not seeing a heartbeat, or something else that will leave them no choice but to terminate the pregnancy. Taylor Swift sings something about cloaks and daggers and bright mornings, and Amy tries to see if she can memorize the lyrics for a distraction. She doesn’t get far before they get stuck in a traffic jam, though, giving them no option but to drive a few feet at a time, accelerating and braking on repeat.

 She knows that Jake tries to drive as smoothly as possible. He’s a good driver. She doesn’t have a problem with his driving, but the constant starting and stopping, the inevitable jerking movements, is absolute hell for her morning slash all-day sickness and suddenly all her focus has shifted to trying not to throw up in a moving car.

“I’m really sorry, Ames,” says Jake after casting one glance at her pale complexion, and she doesn’t dare to move her head but she mumbles a ‘not your fault’ before she goes back to taking deep breaths.

 She makes it through the congestion, and the nausea’s easing as they drive the last stretch to the clinic, but then there’s a slight bump as they drive into the parking lot and the fight is lost. She stumbles out of the car in search of a trash can, but it’s too far away. Instead, she has to publicly humiliate herself by throwing up right there on the curb just as another couple is walking out of the clinic and giving her what she assumes are grossed-out looks. She feels Jake’s hands on her shoulders as she coughs up the last bit, grimacing at the foul taste.

“Everyone’s going to think I’m hungover,” she mutters as he leads her to a spot further away, urging her to sit down.

“Oh yeah. That’s definitely what they think about all the women who puke outside of fertility clinics.”

His comment makes her laugh, but the laughter makes her feel sick again, so she stops.

“You okay?” He asks, carefully scratching her neck with one hand as he digs in his messenger bag with the other. “I have water if you want to rinse your mouth, and I’m pretty sure I have gum somewhere.”

“I’ll take water,” she says, accepting the green kid-size bottle that was definitely originally Leah’s and taking a cautious sip. “Sorry about this.”

“You’re sorry?” He lifts an eyebrow. “Damn, queen of unnecessary apologies. It’s okay.”

“I feel like crap,” she groans, ignoring him. “Sorry for whining.” “Okay there, ridiculous. Stop apologizing. It’s not something you can control.”

“But I don’t want to whine about this,” it comes out of her before she can stop it. “I don’t want to be sad, or scared. We fought so damn hard to get here! It fucking sucked! And now - I guess we’re having a baby, but I don’t know how to believe that, and I have to deal with the fact that pregnancy sucks, too!” She shakes her head, instantly regretting the quick movement but continuing to speak anyway. “I just want to be happy, and grateful, and I am. But I’m terrified. I can’t trust that it’s really happening, that it won’t be taken away from us again, and on top of that I feel awful all the time. I just… thought it’d be different.”

 Jake looks a little taken aback by her sudden outburst, opening his mouth before closing it and watching her with that same worried look she’s seen way too much during the last weeks.

“It will be,” he promises once she stops talking. “You’ve done this before. You know it gets better. You get a baby out of it, which - there are worse deals.”

“Yeah. But it feels so far away. It doesn’t feel remotely real. I wanted us to be happy now, to relax and enjoy this, but it feels like everything sucks.”

“Isn’t that just life sometimes, though? It sucks, and then there are awesome parts, and then it sucks again, and then there’s more awesome stuff.” He grimaces, looking down at the curb before meeting her eyes. “I know you feel like crap. I know you’re scared. Honestly, so am I. But we’re about to see our baby for the first time,” he smiles, “and that’s at least one of the crazy awesome parts.”

She nods. “It is.”

“Yeah.” He reaches for her hand, squeezing it. “I just think that… there’s always going to be shitty things, right? Sure, this year was rough, and I wouldn’t want to do it again, but we also had a million amazing moments with Leah, and together, in-between the bad parts. When this baby comes,” he nods to her still-flat stomach, “we probably won’t be sleeping and everything will be nuts for a while before we figure it out, but we’re going to have two kids and it’s going to be the best.”

“I know.”

“I’m going to tell you something I heard from a very smart person once,” he grins, looking proud of himself. “Life is unpredictable, but as long as you’re with the right people, you can handle anything.”

“That person sounds smart. Did they also make a butt joke after that?”

“Sure did. Made me cry, and everything. But what I was actually trying to say was…” Jake blushes, and she can tell there’s a moment of emotional sincerity coming. “I’m with you. I know that. I also know that as long as I’m with you, all the bad stuff is survivable, and all the good stuff is a million times better. And I’d rather have hard days with you, and Lee, and I guess soon whoever this is,” he holds his hand to her stomach through her sweater, “than good days with anyone else.”

“Me too,” she snivels, having to wipe the tears on her shirt sleeve because of course, this is making her cry. “How’d you get so wise all of a sudden?”

“Married you,” he shrugs. “And had kids. Also, I got hella old.”

“You’re forty-two.”

“Exactly. Shh.”

Amy laughs, with tears in her eyes because he’s hitting that perfect spot between wisdom and humor that’s one of the many reasons she loves him so much, and the smile on his lips grows wider once he sees that he’s made her laugh.

“I love you so much,” she whispers, cupping his face with her hands.

“I know. Love you, too.” She kisses him, and he kisses her back for a second before immediately pulling away and scrunching his nose. “Okay, ew, no. Vomity breath. Gross.”

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to apologize,” she teases. “But I’ll take that gum too.”

“Let’s just go inside and look at our baby,” he says as he hands her the packet, and she doesn’t protest.

 There are some routine questions and another blood test, and then they’re ushered into the ultrasound room. She’s nearly holding her breath as she lays down, eyes glued to the screen and Jake’s hand squeezing hers so tight she thinks he might stop the blood flow if he squeezed any harder.

At first, she’s scared she was right and there’s nothing in there, because everything is blurry and she’s not sure what’s what, but then it clears slightly and the ultrasound technician points out a white blob the shape of a lima bean, and there are tears of relief running down her cheeks.

 The technician says and here’s the heartbeat, and Amy has to clasp a hand over her mouth to keep from crying harder than she already is when a whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh sounds through the room in quick little beats.

She could listen to that sound forever.

 They get printed sonogram pictures of their fetus, which is slightly over an inch and just looks like a white blob but is well and truly perfect according to their doctor, and then they’re advised to go home and celebrate. They both have to stop crying first, though, so they stand outside the clinic for another while, just hugging without needing to say anything else.

 “So,” Jake says when Amy’s finally found space to breathe again. “How do you want to celebrate?”

“Do you want to go to Target and look for another shirt that says Big Sister and some stupid cute tiny clothes?”

“Oh, you know I do.”

 They get a long-sleeved pink shirt for Leah, six pairs of baby socks with animals on them and tiny pajamas with rainbow stripes, and then they buy alcohol-free champagne.

 ~

[burgers-and-french-fries]

Sunsets & Whiskey Kisses: Chapter Forty Six.

On monday morning after breakfast, Ryleigh went to have a shower and Jack went to do some laundry which left Anna playing on her own with ducky and her toy cars. The toddler had decided to let her car drive on the wall and as she got closer to the rocker that her sister was in, Parker started to fuss and whimper.

Anna knew that if she hit her sister again, she would get in trouble. She tried to ignore PJ and her fussing but the baby’s fussing soon turned into cries and what sounded like slight coughing. 

Anna dropped her car to the ground and went to look at Parker to make sure that she was ok. When she saw that the baby wasn’t ok, she put her Ducky beside her sister in the hopes that the baby would calm down but unfortunately, that didn’t work.

Anna then saw that the blanket that covered her sister had fallen from the rocker and to the ground. The toddler put her ducky on the ground and picked up the blanket and tried to cover PJ just like she saw her parents do. The only thing was that Jack came around the corner and thought that Anna was trying to do something to her sister.

“No, no. You leave her alone.” Jack warned as he picked Anna up and moved her away from the rocker.

Anna looked at him with a sliver of hurt in her eyes. All she wanted to do was help and she got yelled at as well. At this point, Anna was ready to give up on ever trying to be helpful again.

“You have been told to leave her alone and you need to listen. Go sit on the bottom step.” Jack said firmly, not realizing that Anna was only trying to help.

Anna hung her head before grabbing her ducky and sauntering sadly to the stairs. The little girl sat on the step and held her ducky close.

“What did you do this time?” Ryleigh asked as she walked downstairs to see Anna on the bottom step in time out.

Anna shrugged. She honestly didn’t know why she was in timeout but at a time like this, she needed her ducky so she wasn’t going to fight.

“You can tell mama why you’re there.” Jack said as he walked over to his oldest whilst trying to settle PJ who was still fussing.

“I help but dada mad.” Anna explained sadly. Ryleigh looked at her husband with confusion.

“Why would you give her a timeout for that?” The woman asked.

“She wasn’t helping.” Jack said and Anna looked at him with tears in her eyes.

“I help.” Anna said as her tears fell down her cheeks.

“Jacks, come on. What did she do that made you think it was ok to put her in time out?” Ryleigh asked with slight annoyance. She knew that if Anna was saying she was helping then the little girl meant that she was helping.

“I was doing laundry and when i came around the corner, Parker was fussing and Anna was playing with her blanket.” He said. Ryleigh rolled her eyes and picked Anna up, despite not being able to hold anything heavier than Parker. She knew her daughter needed a cuddle.

“Well, there you go. Maybe the blanket fell and Anna was trying to cover Parker back up.” Ryleigh said incredulously.

“That’s not what it looked like.” He argued.

“Put the baby back down and put the blanket back on the floor.” Ryleigh said as they all walked back to the rocker.

Jack did as he was told and the mother put Anna down.

“Sweet pea, can you show mama what you did?” Ryleigh asked the toddler.

Anna shook her head and sniffled.

“Dada mad.” She said. Ryleigh rubbed Anna’s back comfortingly.

“Dada isn’t going to get mad again.” Ryleigh said whilst looking up at her husband in warning.

Anna nodded and handed ducky to her mother. She then toddled over to the blanket and picked up and started to cover Parker the way she had before.

Jack’s heart plummeted, Anna was only trying to help after all. He bit his lower lip and walked over to Anna and picked her up.

“Oh my darling. I am so sorry.” Jack said as he hugged Anna close. The little girl cuddled into him, making Ryleigh smile.

“Jackson, next time check before jumping to conclusions. And look, Parker is content now and I’m sure she would have been had you not pulled your little stunt.” Ryleigh said as she stood next to him.

The only thing was, Jack was about to make the biggest mistake that would possibly cost him his close bond with Anna.

=

It had been about a week or two since Jack and Ryleigh had found out that Parker had colic.

On this particular day, Ryleigh was heading to a doctor’s appointment to make sure that everything was ok. Dakota had offered to go along as she too had an appointment at the same place. It wasn’t anything too drastic for her. All Dakota needed was some blood work done and a check up for the baby that was due very soon.

“I shouldn’t be gone too long but if you need anything mom, just ask Jack.” Ryleigh said as she put her shoes on to go.

Grace had said that she would come over to look after Anna while Jack tended to a really fussy baby.

“I know honey. Everything will be ok, I promise.” She said with a smile.

“Love you mama.” Anna said as she kissed her mother’s cheek.

“Mama loves you.” Ryleigh replied as she bid her family one last goodbye before driving to pick up Dakota.

Grace and Anna watched as Ryleigh’s truck left the driveway.

“Now that mama is gone, I think dada needs some time to himself. Why don’t you and I make a menu for him and then he can pick something to eat while he has his special time.” Grace said, knowing how much her kids needed a break.

“Yeah.” Anna agreed. The little girl ran to get her colours.

When Anna had all of her little art supplies, she led her grandmother to the table. Grace helped the tot put everything on the table before removing Anna’s shirt and shorts, leaving her in just her pull up. The woman also pulled Anna’s little curls back into a ponytail so that she could see what she was doing.

“I ready, Mi.” Anna said as she held a green crayon in her small fist.

“Let’s get started then.” The woman replied, handing Anna a piece of paper so that she could start drawing.

Meanwhile, Jack was upstairs having a shower before Parker woke up from her nap and needed to be changed and settled.

The man turned the water off and grabbed his towel before walking to his closet, picking out a pair of track pants and a white sleeveless shirt.

(White sleeveless shirt exactly like the one Taron’s wearing here.)

(Or like the shirt he’s wearing in this photo.)

When he was all dressed, Jack walked downstairs to see Grace and Anna at the table with all of her art supplies including the paint that she covered his tack pants in. He groaned to himself.

“Feel better?” Grace asked as she looked up at her son-in-law.

“I do, thank you for watching them while I showered.” Jack replied warmly.

“You’re welcome, honey.” She said as she turned her attention to the little girl who was trying to reach for her purple crayon through a grunt.

Jack smiled to himself and went to the fridge to get himself a water bottle and Anna’s sippy cup. He filled the sippy cup with Apple juice and then got Anna a snack.

Jack placed the cup and bowl in front of his daughter.

“Tata.” Anna mumbled, not looking up from her paper that was full of colourful scribbles.

“You’re welcome, sweet pea.” He replied before kissing the top of her head and sitting on the sofa to watch tv and relax.

Anna took a break to eat her bowl of watermelon that Ryleigh had cut up before she left.

“Some?” Anna asked as she pushed her bowl toward her grandmother. Grace smiled.

“No thank you, sweet pea. You enjoy it.” Grace answered.

“Otay.�� Anna replied as some of the watermelon juice dribbled down her chin.

Anna went back to eating her fruit and when she was done, she downed her juice. Both Jack and Grace watched in surprise before they chuckled at her.

The little girl placed her cup back on the table and looked between her father and grandmother. She gave them a big cheesy smile before going back to her colouring.

As Grace and Anna continued to draw and colour, Parker took it upon herself to disrupt the silence with her loud piercing cries.

Jack tried to settle her but nothing was working.

“Why don’t you go for a walk in the backyard with her and get some fresh air.” Grace suggested and Jack nodded as he rubbed his forehead.

“You think it will work because nothing we’ve tried works.” Jack answered with some hesitation.

“I think it will.” Grace said before getting up from the table and walking to the bathroom. Anna paid no mind to this as she finished up her picture.

When the little girl was all finished, she looked over it. She smiled to herself at all of her hard work. Of course it was just a bunch of colourful scribbles on a piece of paper but to the tot, it was a work of art and she was excited to show her father what she had made for him.

Anna slid off her chair with her picture in her hands and walked over to her father.

“You’re such a good girl.” Jack said as he laid the baby on the sofa so that he could change her diaper. Parker started to settle down.

“Dada.” Anna said as she waited for him to look at her but he didn’t. He kept talking to Parker, telling her how much of a good girl she was.

“Hi sweet pea.” Jack said as he watched his youngest look up at him and smile.

“Dada.” Anna tried again but he still ignored her.

It was at this point that Anna began to feel like her dream was coming true and that her father liked the baby more than her.

The tears in her eyes started to blur her vision.

“Dada, I draw.” Anna said as she tugged on his track pants. Jack grew more annoyed with her wanting attention when he was in the middle of something.

“Anna, enough. I’m in the middle of something and you’re trying to get my attention is giving me a headache.” He snapped before turning his attention back to parker.

Anna dropped her picture to the ground in defeat as she rubbed at her eyes and tried to stop her tears from falling. It didn’t work.

The little girl’s bottom lip jutted out and the tears streamed down her cheeks.

Grace walked back into the room  and saw her granddaughter running toward her with a red face from crying.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” She asked as she scooped the toddler up and went to sit back at the table.

“I bad.” Anna said through her sobs.

“Why are you bad, peanut?” Grace asked.

Anna just cuddled into her as she continued to cry inconsolably.

Grace knew that Jack must have done something to upset her and when her eyes landed on Anna’s drawing on the ground, she knew she was right.

“Really Jackson, of all the people to make her cry. She drew you a picture to try and cheer you up and you made her cry. I’m very disappointed in you. Your parents would be as well.” She lectured.

Grace stood up and went upstairs to get Anna dressed so that she could take the toddler out for a little while.

Jack placed Parker back in her rocker and then sat on the sofa before leaning down to pick up the drawing Anna had made for him.

Grace’s words rang in his head and his heart hurt. She was right, his parents would be disappointed in him. He knew he’d screwed up big time and that hurt even worse.

“I’m taking her out for a little while and giving you time to think about what I said.” Grace stated as she put on Anna’s slip on shoes.

The little girl was still crying but it wasn’t as much as it was when he initially snapped at her.

“I’m sorry Grace.” Jack said with regret.

“Don’t tell me that. Anna’s the one you hurt.” The woman said as she walked out the door.

Jack put his picture on the coffee table and buried his face in his hands as he tried to calm himself down.

=

Grace drove around town for a few minutes, hoping that Anna would calm down a little bit. She even put children’s music on the radio in the hopes that it would also help but it didn’t.

The little girl just sat in the car seat Grace had put in the backseat before leaving and held her ducky close. Her tears still streamed down her reddened cheeks.

“Why don’t we go and get a treat.” Grace suggested.

“Otay Mi.” Anna mumbled into her ducky. The grandmother smiled and pulled into the parking lot of the new burger place.

Grace’s new man had just bought the building and had decided that the best thing to do with it was turn it into a burger place.

“Hi Mi.” Anna greeted through a sniffle as Grace opened the back door and unbuckled the toddler from her seat.

“Hello, my sweet girl.” She replied warmly as she scooped the girl into her arms.

She grabbed everything she needed and Before entering the building, Grace made sure she locked the car.

“Are you ok, my darling?” Grace asked as Anna laid her head on the woman’s shoulder.

Anna nodded, hid her face and cuddled ducky even closer.

“Good afternoon ladies, what can I do for you?” George questioned when he saw Grace walk through the door.

“This one needed some cheering up.” Grace replied as she motioned to Anna who was still crying a little bit.

George smiled and nodded.

“I have the perfect thing for that.” He said as he walked over to the ice cream.

Anna watched the man move around with ease.

“Here you go princess, dry those tears.” He said as he handed Grace the ice cream cup. Anna’s eyes lit up with excitement as she lifted her head from her grandmother’s shoulder.

Grace stood there speechless and with a big smile. For someone who’d never met her granddaughter before now, he sure knew how to cheer her up.

“Why don’t you go and sit down. Once the others have left I’ll come and join you.” He suggested.

Grace nodded and walked over to a booth.

The woman sat Anna and Ducky down and handed the little girl her ice cream.

“Tata.” Anna said as she beamed at her grandmother, despite the stray tears that were falling from her eyes.

“You’re welcome my darling.” Grace replied as she sat down next to the tot.

While they waited for the other customers to leave so that George could join them, Anna tried to feed her grandmother the sweet treat.

The more Grace declined the treat, the more Anna giggled at her reaction.

“You certainly just like your mother when it comes to Ice-cream.” The grandmother chuckled.

“Mind if I join you, ladies?” George asked as he walked up to his girlfriend and her granddaughter.

“Of course.” Grace said as he slid into the booth. Sitting across the table from them.

“So, who is this little one?” George asked as he and Grace looked at the toddler who happened to be stuffing her face.

“This is Anna and as you can see, she loves her sweet treats.” Grace replied.

Anna looked up at them and smiled.

“Hi.” She said as the ice cream dripped from her chin and landed on the table.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, sweet pea.” He replied.

Anna went back to eating her Ice cream while George and Grace talked.

“What do you think about having dinner with everyone else and they can meet you?” Grace questioned.

“By everyone else, you mean?” He replied.

“Ryleigh, Jack, Chase, Dakota and their kids.” Grace replied. George nodded. “What do you say?” Grace asked.

George looked around nervously before his gaze landed on Anna.

“Peas?” Anna asked, knowing her grandmother was waiting for an answer. If her parents wouldn’t accept her help, maybe her Mi would.

“I don’t know, princess.” George as he scratched the back of his neck. Anna’s face dropped and she gave him her puppy eyes. She knew no one could resist her sad face, hence the ice cream that was now completely devoured.

“At least promise me that you’ll think about it.” Grace begged and George smiled.

“If I agree to this, is there anything I should know?” He asked and Grace nodded.

The woman explained how Jack, Dakota and Ryleigh may react. Especially Ryleigh as she was so close to her father.

“Are you sure this is a good idea then? I don’t want her to think that I want to take her father's place. I really want her to be happy and if us dating is going to hurt her, we may as well end this now because I don’t want to come between any of you.” He explained and Grace smiled.

“You’ve already got Anna’s approval and she’s a tough nut to crack.” Grace teased as she leaned closer to the man across from her.

George followed her actions and leaned in as well.

“Alright.” He said before he closed the gap and kissed the woman sweetly.

Everything that George had done for Anna played on a loop in Grace’s mind. She made sure to pour her thanks into the kiss.

Anna watched and clapped her hands while giggling. The couple pulled apart and chuckled breathlessly.

“Now that, that, she freaks out when her parents kiss. She really likes you.” Grace said as she leaned back.

The women sat with George for a little longer.

“I should get this munchkin back home, her mother will be back soon.” Grace said as she looked at Anna.

“Hi.” Anna replied when she looked back at her.

“I’ll go get a cloth and you can clean her up before you take her home.” George said as he stood up and made his way to the kitchen.

“What do you think of George?” Grace asked the toddler.

Anna nodded vigorously.

“Him nice.” The little girl stated.

George walked back to the girls and handed his girlfriend the cloth he got. Grace then cleaned Anna up before they bid their goodbyes and left..

=

By the time that Ryleigh got home, Parker was sound asleep and Jack was face down on the sofa trying to think of how he would apologize to Anna.

“Jack?” Ryleigh asked as she laid a hand on his back.

The man didn’t move, he only grunted.

“Jack what’s wrong?” She asked, knowing that something was wrong by the way he was laying on the sofa.

The last time he laid on the sofa that way, Jack had just broken up with his girlfriend. It was his way of blocking the world out.

“Where’s Anna?” Ryleigh asked.

His silence told her that he had done something.

“Jack, what did you do?” She asked as calmly as she could.

He sat up and squinted at her as he tried to adjust to the brightness of the room.

“Grace and Anna were drawing while you were gone and Parker started crying really loudly. I tried to calm her down but nothing was working. Your mother suggested taking her out back and walking around with her.” He explained.

Ryleigh nodded and waited for him to continue.

“I agreed and then she walked to the bathroom. While she was in there, Parker settled down a little bit. I changed her and while I was doing that, Anna came over to me and tried to show me a picture she drew for me but instead of dealing with it calmly, I snapped at her. She dropped her picture on the ground and ran to Grace crying.” He finished.

Ryleigh grew angry.

“Jackson Richard Mason, are you serious right now?” Ryleigh shouted as she stood up in front of him and threw her arms in the air.

“Please don’t start. I feel bad enough already.” He replied as he hung his head. “The look on her face and the things your mom said made me feel guilty.” He said.

Ryleigh sighed and picked up the picture to go hang it on the fridge.

“What did mom say to you?” Ryleigh questioned.

“That my parents would be disappointed in me and that she was as well.” He answered, his voice cracking with emotion.

“She’s right.” Ryleigh said. “Did you see the message on the back of the picture?” She asked and Jack snapped his gaze up to meet hers.

“No, I didn’t.” He responded.

Ryleigh looked at the page and read it.

‘You’re my hero dada, I love you.’

At that, Jack broke down and let a few tears fall.

“You’re a real asshole, you know that right?” Ryleigh said as she finally placed the picture on the fridge.

Jack walked toward the stairs and disappeared into their bathroom.

Ryleigh sat down on the sofa to breathe. Of course Parker picked that moment to wake up and get fussy.

“Hello my darling. It’s been quite the morning hasn’t it.” Ryleigh said as she picked the baby up and held her close.

Ryleigh fed the baby and hummed to her once she was finished, in the hopes that PJ would be fuss free. It worked.

When Jack had calmed down enough, he walked back downstairs.

“Feel better?” Ryleigh asked as she cuddled Parker into her rocker.

“Not really. I really do feel like an asshole.” He replied as he sat on the sofa

“Well, if it helps, you’re a handsome asshole.” Ryleigh said, trying to make him smile.

Jack stood up and walked toward the kitchen to make himself and Ryleigh some tea.

Ryleigh followed him and sat on a stool in front of him.

“It doesn’t help Ryleigh.” He mumbled.

“Baby, it’s not the end of the world. She will come around, that I’m certain of.” The woman spoke as she walked toward him and wrapped her arms around his middle, hugging him from behind.

“You’re right.” He said through a fake smile.

Just then Grace and Anna walked through the door.

“Hi mom.” Ryleigh greeted as she walked over to Parker to check on her.

Jack walked around the counter and toward Anna. The little girl looked at him and ran past him and toward her mother.

That action killed Jack inside but he knew that he deserved it. He also figured that this is how Ryleigh must feel when Anna prefers him over her mama.

Grace saw the hurt in his eyes and knew that he felt extremely guilty.

“She’ll come around kiddo.” Grace said as she hugged him.

Jack tried to hold it together but he couldn’t. He pulled away from the hug and went upstairs.

“Is he going to be ok?” Grace asked as she walked into the living room.

Ryleigh shrugged as she cuddled Anna close and Grace nodded.

“Now that you’re home, I think I’m going to go home. I have a hot date tonight.” Grace teased.

“Eww. That was not needed.” Ryleigh replied.

Anna giggled.

“Him nice.” Anna said with seriousness.

“Oh you met him?” Ryleigh asked as she looked down at her daughter. She felt a little upset that her mother had taken Anna to meet him before she got to meet him.

Anna nodded.

“I took her out for a bit. He owns the new burger place in town.” Grace said.

“Well, I’m glad he’s nice.” Ryleigh chuckled, feigning happiness.

Grace smiled nervously.

“I was wondering if you, Jack, Chase, Dakota and the kids wanted to come over for dinner and get to know him. I really think you two would get along.” Grace as if trying to convince her daughter.

“That sounds wonderful mom. You set the date and time and we’ll be there.” Ryleigh replied, genuinely happy for her mother or maybe it was because she didn’t want to fly off the handle quite yet.

“Really?” Grace asked, not really believing her daughter’s tone of voice.

“Yes mom. Really.” Ryleigh said but Grace still wasn’t buying it.

Grace and Ryleigh stood at the front door saying their goodbyes when Jack walked back downstairs.

“Can I talk to Jack really quickly?” Grace asked, looking at Ryleigh.

“Sure. Call me when you get home so I know that you're safe.” Ryleigh said as she hugged her mother one last time and went to go and play with Anna.

Grace walked toward the kitchen where Jack stood in front of the coffee machine, waiting for the coffee to finish.

“Jack, are you going to be ok?” Grace asked. Jack simply shrugged.

“I don’t know. I just feel like I screw everything up and with what I did to Anna, I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me.” He replied as his shoulders slumped forward and his head hung low.

“Honey, what I said before, I’m sorry. I know how much you hate the idea of disappointing your parents.” Grace said as she rubbed his back.

“You were right though, they would be disappointed in me and I have a feeling mom would ignore me as well.” He admitted and Grace shook her head.

“Everything that you have accomplished in life would make them proud. You have two beautiful little girls and a wife that adores you. I know Anna is ignoring you right now but I have no doubt that she will come around and be begging for dada cuddles soon.” Grace explained and Jack gave her a half hearted smile.

“If you need to talk, you know that I’m here for you. So is your sister.” The woman said before she hugged her godson.

Jack slumped against her and held her securly. He really didn’t want to let her go.

“I love you kiddo. I promise that everything will be ok eventually.” Grace said as she started pulling away, only for Jack to pull her back in.

Grace felt bad for him. She knew he felt guilty but she also knew that this was something that he and Anna had to work through.

“Please don’t go yet.” Jack said through a slight whine.

“Honey, I have to.” Grace replied.

Jack let her go and nodded sadly.

“You’ll be ok my boy.” Grace said as they walked to the front door.

“I love you.” Jack said as he kissed her cheek.

“I love you too Jacks.” She replied as she opened the door and left.

Jack watched as she drove away before walking to the living room to be with his girls and hopefully have an Anna cuddle.

“You going to be ok baby?” Ryleigh asked when Jack sat next to her on the sofa.

“I’m not sure.” He answered truthfully.

“Why don’t I put Anna and Parker down for a nap and we can spend some time together.” Ryleigh suggested and Jack shrugged.

Ryleigh stood up and took Parker out of her rocker carefully and then walked over to Anna who was building a house for her cars.

“Come on sweet pea, nap time.” The mother said.

Anna nodded and quickly put her blocks and cars away before toddling upstairs with her mother and sister.

Jack laid face down on the sofa again and tried to relax and tell himself that things would be better soon.

He felt incredibly guilty for how he made Anna feel after all the effort she went into to create her artwork for him in the hopes that it would make him feel better. If anything, it made him feel even worse knowing there was a message on the back of the picture.

“You’re not ok are you?” Ryleigh asked, laying her hand on her husband’s back. She came back downstairs to see Jack face down again.

“You should have seen the look on her face when I snapped. She rubbed at her eyes to stop the tears.” Jack said as his voice cracked.

“I thought we talked about this. We agreed that we would find out the problem before disciplining her.” Ryleigh said as she sat on the ground with her hand still on his back.

“I know that and that’s what hurts. I made her cry because I was trying to focus on changing Parker’s diaper and would give her a second of my attention to tell her to wait calmly or even look at the picture. She feels like shit because of me.” Jack said as his tears started falling again.

Ryleigh pursed her lips and thought of how she could help him.

“I have something that might make you forget about this.” Ryleigh said.

“I’m not in the mood for that right now.” Jack replied, thinking that she was talking about sexual activities.

“Neither am I and that wasn’t what I meant anyway.” Ryleigh answered and Jack turned his head to face her.

She could see the heartbreak in his eyes and how red his face was from crying, even if he just had his face hiding in a cushion.

Ryleigh took her hand off his back and ran her fingers through his hair tenderly. Jack closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her hand in his hair.

“Mom has a boyfriend and Anna met him today.” Ryleigh whispered. Jack opened his eyes and sighed.

“At least she’s happy.” He mumbled.

“Jackson, she took our daughter to meet him today and didn’t even bother to ask us if that would be ok. I haven’t even met him yet and she’s already taking Anna to meet him.” Ryleigh said, growing slightly annoyed.

“Ry, come on. Your mother knows what she’s doing. She wouldn’t have taken Anna to meet him if she wasn’t confident with everything.” He replied.

“I know. Then she asked if we all wanted to come over for dinner one night so that we can meet him and get to know him. I stupidly said yes.” Ryleigh grumbled. Jack chuckled.

“Honey, if he makes her happy, that’s all that matters. He’d have to be pretty special if she’s dating him.” Jack said, knowing that his mother-in-law wouldn’t date just anyone.

“I was going to kiss you but for that remark, I don’t think I want to.” Ryleigh teased.

Jack frowned at her and pouted. Ryleigh giggled and leaned forward, kissing him sweetly.

Ryleigh pulled away and kissed his forehead before kissing his cheek then his nose and his lips again.

She pulled away and they looked at each other.

“Why don’t you sit up so I can cuddle with you.” Ryleigh said.

Jack smiled and turned over so that he was laying on his back. He opened his arms for her to crawl into.

“This is nice.” Ryleigh commented as she cozied up on top of her husband.

“It really is but I still feel like an asshole.” He sighed as he wrapped his arms around the woman on top of him.

“You’re the most handsome and cuddly asshole ever.” Ryleigh muttered as she hid her face in the crook of his neck and kissed the exposed skin.

“Tell me, how did the appointment go?” Jack asked as his eyes fluttered closed with all the kisses Ryleigh was peppering against his neck.

The woman pulled away long enough to answer.

“Everything looks good and the bleeding looks like it’s stopped.” She answered truthfully.

“Does that mean we can if we want to, we can fool around?” Jack asked and Ryleigh hummed in hesitation.

“I don’t know. If I’m being honest, I’m still not convinced.” Ryleigh admitted. Jack nodded.

“We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, my darling.” He replied as he looked down at her.

“I can give you a BJ, if that’s what you are wanting right now.” Ryleigh said with a chuckle, looking up at Jack.

“I’m not going to lie, that sounds really good right now but I also just want to cuddle. It’s cheering me up more than a blowjob would.” He answered truthfully.

“I agree, cuddling is really relaxing. Especially with you in this shirt.” She said, just as her phone rang. “I swear, my mother has the worst timing.” Ryleigh grumbled as she got off of her husband so that she could talk with her mother.

=

Later that night as Jack laid in bed, his mind was reeling again with the events of the day. He couldn’t help it. The man had tossed and turned while hoping that it wouldn’t wake up his wife as she needed to sleep in case PJ would be awake at some ungodly hour.

Eventually, Jack decided to go and check on Anna and see if she was ok. As Jack entered the nursery, the sound of Anna’s snoring filled his ears.

“Oh my sweet girl.” He whispered to himself as he ran his fingers through Anna’s unruly curls.

His other hand resting on the edge of the crib.

“Dada’s so sorry.” He whispered once more before his tears cascaded down his cheeks again.

At his attempted silent whimpers, Anna stirred. The little girl opened her eyes enough to see that her father was standing there.

Her little face contorted into fear and Anna whimpered as she cowered away from him.

Jack pulled his hand back from her and stepped away from the crib.

The man left the room and started to sob uncontrollably. He knew he’d hurt Anna’s feelings but the last he wanted was for her to be scared of him and that’s exactly what she was.

When he got back to him and Ryleigh’s room, he crawled back into his side of the bed and tried to cry silently. It didn’t work though because Ryleigh turned over and took in the silhouette of her broken husband.

“What’s wrong baby?” Ryleigh asked and that’s when she felt the bed shake with his sobs.

The woman wrapped her arms around Jack and held him close as he audibly sobbed now that he felt safe in his wife’s arms.

“S-sh-she h-hates m-e.” Jack sobbed. Ryleigh rubbed his back.

“Who hates you? Did you have a bad dream?” She asked and Jack shook his head.

Ryleigh waited for a few minutes until Jack had calmed down a little bit before asking again.

“Anna. She’s terrified of me.” Jack answered finally.

“No, don’t say that.” Ryleigh said that as her fingers now massaged his scalp gently.

“I went to check on her and I thought that she would stay sleeping and I’d be ok to cry and gently run my hand through her hair but she woke up and the sheer terror that was in her ey-es.” Jack explained as his voice cracked once more.

“Oh my darling. She’s not terrified of you. I promise you that. She may be hurt but she’s not terrified.” Ryleigh tried but Jack wasn’t having it.

The more that Jack cried and gripped on to her, the more Ryleigh could see just how much this whole thing was eating at him.

Anna and Jack had been inseparable since the day Anna was born and to see Jack this way broke Ryleigh’s heart.

Ryleigh laid both of them back down. Her arms wrapped themselves around her husband as she allowed him to cry into her.

She rubbed his back and kissed his forehead every so often in the hopes that it would calm him down a little bit but it was no use. All Jack needed was a good cry and someone to hold him while he did so.

Tag List: @sarahegerton96​ @softeggsy​ @dogmom2014​ @jobanan23​ @aberystwythboy​ @stronglyobsessed​ @holdmeclosertinytaron​ @hauntedflamingo​ @superthiccthighssavelives​ @rocknrollmadden​

[pattonkittysquad2]

Five Years

A/N: This is for my anniversary with my partner @combine-the-kitchens! I love them so much, so thank you for reading, and thank you to Ash for being here

Warning: Food, Alcohol, All Sympathetic Characters (Tell me if I’ve missed anything)

Ship: Moceit, Familiar Moxeit

Summary: A normal day in a life of married Janus and Patton, along with their toddler son Virgil. Or maybe it's not as normal as it usually it.

Read On Ao3

--

It had been a long day, working in the hot sun for so long. Janus had worked on one of the few buildings his company was hired to build. Mostly houses, but there were a few businesses as well. A new vet clinic for farm animals, a new group home, and a new kids center which should be up and running by the time Virgil is about three.

He stopped at his front door, toeing off his work books and going inside. A soft, deep ‘woof’ was heard from Sassy, who came over to greet her human. The Saint Benard  Janus set his shoes on the top rack, noticing that Virgil’s tiny converses were dirty, and Patton’s favorite white shoes were covered in grass stains.

“Patton?” he called, setting down his cooler.

“In the kitchen!” Patton called, followed by the sound of a tiny tot shrieking, something hitting the ground, and a soft: “Oh dear.”

“You didn’t drop the baby did you?” Janus asked, humor coating his tone. When he got into the kitchen, he saw a purple cup on the ground and a few of Virgil’s puff treats had joined the cup.

“Virgil decided he no longer wants his food.” Patton laughed softly.

The said toddler was sniffling, hiding his face in his dad’s shoulder. He looked up, seeing his papa was home. Suddenly, the tiny boy started bawling, reaching out for the man. “Papa!” he wailed, his chubby face turning red.

“Oh, what a drama queen,” Patton cooed, handing Virgil over to his husband. “He must have really missed you.”

Like an octopus, Virgil wrapped his little arms around his Papa’s neck, bawling his eyes out. Janus hummed, rubbing up and down his back. Virgil was half dressed, only wearing a pair of pants and a diaper. Looking around, Janus noticed the kitty shirt that Patton had put on him that morning on the table.

“Did someone have a fun day, huh?” Janus asked softly, going over to the table to clean it off.

“Yes,” a soft reply came.

“Daddy gave you spaghetti, huh?” Janus laughed softly, another quiet ‘yes’ from Virgil coming after that.

Janus headed out to the laundry, Virgil crying out in dismay when he noticed that his favorite blanket was sitting in the hamper.

“You want your blanket, huh?”

“Yes,” he whined, reaching for it.

Janus tossed the shirt into the purple hamper, pulling out the blanket. There was a big mud stain on it, so Janus put it back. “Dirty.”

Virgil whimpered, but didn’t say anything in retaliation. Janus went to leave when he noticed that the yellow and baby blue Hamper were getting full. “Papa has to do laundry this weekend,” He sighed softly.

He headed back into the kitchen, setting Virgil down. He headed over to Patton, who was stirring what he was cooking.

“What’s for dinner?” He asked softly.

“Chicken Alfredo,” Patton was smiling, turning to Janus.

Janus gave a knowing smile. “Oh? What’s the occasion?” He teased.

Patton wrapped his arms around Janus’ neck, his grin getting wider. “I dunno, I heard it was some special day.”

Janus hummed. “Strange,” he mumbled, giving Patton a peck on the lips. “I’m going to take Sassy out for a run in a few minutes.”

“Make sure to change afterwards,” Patton laughed. For a minute, he looked like he was thinking. “You think we should get more hampers?”

Janus grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. ”What for?”

“Like, to be more organized?” Patton wondered out loud. “We could get a lot of hampers for like- Maybe like...” Patton grumbled, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. “Maybe not… It seems a little silly to think about it.”

“Well, why don’t you explain it to me anyways?” Janus noticed that Virgil was snuggling up to Sassy. “Then I can decide if it’s really silly or not.”

“Well, I was thinking… you know how we have different colored hampers for each of us?” Janus made a noise of acknowledgment, wrapping his arms around Patton’s waist. “Well, what if we had them like… on the wall, with more hampers? With white, black, and then another color. So we can have colored in the colored ones, whites in the white, blacks in the black-” he took a moment. “That sounded bad.”

Janus laughed. “I understand what you’re trying to say. But why another color under the other three?”

“Well, what if I come home from work one day and I have pants on it? Or you come home with oil all over yourself? Or if we adopt an afab kid-”

“We’re not adopting for a few years.” Janus reminded him.

“I know- I know, I just…” He drawled off.

“Well, why don’t you write the idea down and we’ll get back to it later?” Janus suggested softly. “We don’t need to say a total yes or a total no.”

Patton nodded, then he perked up. “We should get a Mastiff!”

“We’re not getting another big dog,” Janus said sternly.

“Rats,” Patton huffed. “Worth a shot.” Patton smiled softly.

“It certainly was,” He laughed. “Think you'll be alright with being alone with Virgil for a little bit more?”

“I’ll be fine,” Patton smiled. “Thank you though, Jay.”

Janus kissed his head, going to the Foyer. “Sassy!” He called.

Right away, the sound of a toddler going ‘oomph’ and dog nails clicking on the floor. Turning the corner was the big dog herself, happily waiting for her pink harness to be strapped on. Janus slipped on his tennis shoes, quickly tying them so they were tight.

“Alright,” he said, grabbing the harness. “You’re probably pent up from staying in the house for so long.”

After a few minutes, he finally got the harness properly on. Sassy was a very happy pup, running around in the Foyer but never going out. The harness was multi-purpose, and wasn’t just some straps. On the sides, there were pockets where he could store what he needed in them. He usually put poop bags, a collapsible bowl, a small bag of dog food, a small bag of treats, and a water bottle.

“Come!” Janus said sternly. Sassy came over and sat at his feet. He clipped on the leash, and Sassy was eagerly shuffling around. “We’re heading out!” he called out

“Stay safe!” Patton called back.

Janus headed out, closing the door. “How long do you want to go?”

Sassy was sitting by his feet, looking from him, to the road, and back to him. She was waiting for him to give the okay.

“Ten minutes?” He suggested. “Sounds good.”

He started jogging at first, but he sped up easily to a sprint, a tight grip on Sassy’s leash.

The world seemed to disappear, all there was in the world was Janus and his dog, who seemed happy to just be existing alongside him. A lot of people say running away from your problems doesn’t solve them, but Janus had to disagree; actively running was very therapeutic, at least for him. Even after eight hours of manual labor, hours of working in the sun, he still needed this run.

Where Janus had built the house was in the middle of basically nowhere, surrounded by fields of nothing. Their nearest neighbors were about a mile away, which had him kind of skeptical that they should stay in that place, but Patton reassured him that he could run a mile if something happened. It was surprisingly green, but that’s not really why Janus chose the place.

After about five minutes of running, Janus slowed down and eventually stopped, Sassy next to him panting.

“Let’s get you some water,” He breathed out, opening up her pouches. He got out the water bottle and her bowl, expanding it. He poured out half the bottle in the bowl, and the Saint Bernard drank it up.

He sat down next to her,taking a few sips of water himself. A few minutes of peace, where all there was to hear were birds chirping and Sassy lapping up her water.

A few minutes later, Sassy was ready to go ahead. Janus got up, put everything away, and started home, repeating what he did but towards home. By the time he got home, which was about fifteen minutes later, the big girl looked tired and Janus felt it himself.

He went in and called out to Patton: “I’m back!”

“Papa!” A little voice screamed, and Virgil came running to him.

Janus easily picked him up, smiling. “Virgil!” He gasped back.

The tot made a face. “Smelly,” he scolded, nose wrinkled in disgust. Janus laughed, setting him down so the toddler could go toddle off.

“Janus, can you move the high chair to the dining room?” Patton called.

“The dining room?” Janus asked, coming into the kitchen. “We never use the dining room; just usually just use the nook.”

“I know,” Patton looked up from where he was putting the food into serving dishes, “but I want to eat there tonight.” He smiled at his husband.

“Alright,” Janus relented, kissing his head before getting the high chair.

After setting up the chair, Janus went upstairs to his and Patton’s room. He got out the clothes he wanted; a dress shirt and some nice dress pants. He picked out a yellow bow tie and a pair of socks. He found a pair of shoes- a pair that he’s only worn a few handful of times.

He hopped into the shower, not taking too long. He was in and out in five minutes. Instead, he focused more on his appearance. He combed back his hair, and considered shaving the five o’clock shadow. Then he remembered how Virgil liked the feeling when they were playing and he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

He finished getting ready,  looking at himself in the mirror. After a minute of considering, he got his blazer, one he hadn’t worn since law school.

“Hello old friend,” he laughed softly, putting it on.

He went downstairs, dirty clothes in hand. He tossed them into his hamper, his mind traveling to the idea Patton had earlier.

noticing that Patton himself had cleaned up a bit. Instead of his normal T-shirt, he was also wearing a dress shirt and tie. The dress shirt was wrinkled and already had a stain, but the fact that he even put on a tie meant that Patton wanted to look nice.

“My handsome husband,” he purred softly, kissing his cheek from behind.

Patton laughed softly. “Help me get Virgil into his chair?”

It didn’t take too long to do that. When Virgil saw there would be pasta, he happily let his fathers buckle him in.

“Ready for dinner?” Patton asked his husband

Janus nodded, sitting down. Patton put a scoop of Pasta into a small bowl for Virgil, along with some broccoli and cheese on the side. Janus served up his and Patton’s plates, making sure to get as much healthy foods as possible.

“Oh!” Patton turned to Janus. “Remember that bottle of Champagne your gay aunt gifted us two years ago?”

“Aunt Kathy, yes.” Janus nodded to the thought. “What do you ask?”

“We should get it!”

“It’s been sitting in the fridge since we got it.”

“Then it’s cold enough!” Patton looked excited, so Janus gave him a sigh and went to get it.

He first went to their regular fridge to see if he had left the champagne in there since it was gifted to them before Virgil had come into their life. When it wasn’t there, he went to their second fridge, which is where they kept alcohol or their bulk drinks- like their Gatorade or bigger bulks of water. He found it sitting in the door of the fridge, next to other unopened bottles of wine.

Janus grabbed the bottle and went back to the dining room.

Virgil looked up from where he was eating his food. “Yum!” He yelled.

“That’s good stuff, huh?” Janus asked

“Yes!” Virgil yelled back.

“How do you always get him to reply?” Patton huffed.

“Ask him that.”

Patton rolled his eyes, getting up and going into the butler’s pantry to get out the hardly used Champagne flutes. “You want to open the bottle?”

Janus hummed his confirmation, which Patton accepted as a yes. Janus took off the wrapping around the neck of the bottle, putting his thumb over the cage and holding the bottle. He loosened up the cage, looking up to his family.

“Cover his ears,” he said to Patton, who did as told. Janus held the bottle at the appropriate angle and pressed it to his body. He carefully twisted the bottle, letting the gasp escape until-

POP!

Janus pulled the cork away, holding up the bottle up with a look of victory. Patton cheered, clapping. Virgil was staring at the bottle in amazement, reaching out for it.

“Not for little boys,” Patton scolded, handing Virgil his half-water half-apple-juice.

The rest of dinner passed by, Virgil getting sleepier until he was half asleep in his chair. Patton and Janus only had one glass of champagne, so they weren’t stumbling around and acting like idiots.

“I’ll put him to sleep,” Patton said softly, “Why don’t you set up for tonight’s actual celebration?”

Janus smiled, leaning over and kissing Patton softly. “That sounds amazing,” he whispered softly, making Patton smile softly.

Janus got up, collecting the empty dishes and taking them to the kitchen. Meanwhile, Patton got Virgil cleaned up and took him upstairs. Sassy was right behind them, knowing that it was the kid’s bedtime.

With the food put away, dishes in the sink to be washed tomorrow after breakfast, and a full stomach, Janus went out to the back porch, sitting down on one of the love benches that Patton was insistent that they needed.

He took off his blazer, putting it on the back of the bench. He loosened up his 

He was only there for a few seconds before one of the doors opened and he turned around to see Patton coming out.

“Sassy and Virgil are out like a light,” he sighed, sitting down next to him.

Janus pulled him close, kissing his head. “You happy to have some quiet time?” He asked into his ear. A hum was the only reply that was given, and he didn’t push for more.

Sitting there, in the quiet, was what they needed. After a day of work and a day of chasing around a toddler, they finally had the peace and quiet they wanted.

The silence was temporarily interrupted.

“Happy five years, Janus,” Patton said quietly.

It was a welcomed interruption

“Happy anniversary, my love.”

--

I actually really love this family now, but unless it’s another anniversary, requested, or I get Mega Inspired for it, I probably won’t write too much more for it.

Thank you for reading!

[Want to see the house layout that I referenced? Go here to see the house plans, or go bother me on my Sims blog to get me to build it in sims 3!]

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Howling at the Wind

Howling at the Wind - Kidge Month Day 30 Prompt Fill Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Pairing: Kidge Summary: Just some more really dumb, really cute domestic fluff. This time with 100% more Kosmo. Standard Disclaimer: If you read and enjoy this, please give it a like/ reblog so I know if I should write more.

She groaned and flopped over on to her back, tossing out an arm and grinning a bit when it slapped against another form, dragging a groan out of them. She pushed up before glancing briefly at the clock, startled to see the numbers “9:15” glaring at her. “Did you already go on your walk?” she mumbled softly, carefully pushing herself upright but making sure to keep her voice down. She stole a glance at the foot of the bed and noticed the large, blue lump of fur that was normally there was absent. Kosmo loved sleeping at the foot of their beds; even after walks, he’d come and nestle back down for a good long while.

The lump beside her mumbled something into the comforter that she couldn’t understand, though she did manage to understand “Too bad.”

“Mind repeating that for me?” she asked.

He grumbled, again, and it was just as articulate as his last try.

“Ah, riveting. Now can you maybe try saying it louder for the people in the back?” she teased, reaching over to lightly pinch his side.

He jolted and groaned loudly, lifting his head to pin her with a look. “I said the weather’s too bad,” he groused before they heard a sharp cry on the baby monitor next to the digital clock. They both tensed before slowly looking over at the black screen, a little green light blinking at the top.

She clicked the little ‘View’ button on the top and watched as the screen became illuminated, a little body highlighted in red squirming around in view. She watched as a blurred figure suddenly went flying over the top of the crib. Ah, so Amber was in a feisty mood this morning.

“Do you think that woke her up?” he asked, sounding completely mortified at the prospect.

“Doubtful; you weren’t that loud, Keith,” she scoffed, tossing the covers back and tossing her feet over the side of the bed. She stretched until her back gave a pleasing pop and then stood. Over the monitor, a loud, miserable wail resulted from the infant. “She’s probably just grouchy cause she normally wakes up with you for your walks. Oversleeping can do that to people. I’ll go get her.”

“I guess I’ll go start on some breakfast,” he mumbled as he pushed himself upright as well.

“I want either a smoothie or a coffee, too,” she hummed before heading out and down the hall. She was unsurprised to see Kosmo pacing in front of the baby’s door as her cries grew louder and more frantic. He knew better than to go teleporting in at his own will, though, which she was grateful for. “Aw, you hate when the baby makes sad sounds, don’t you, buddy?” she cooed, reaching out to give his head a quick pat.

He answered her with a low whine and anxious lick at her wrist.

When she pushed the door open, the whole room was cast in the faint blue glow of the nightlight still, and she could see little limbs flailing in the air savagely. “Doing some interpretive dance there, I see,” she mused, noticing Kosmo come darting in alongside her to sniff at the crib frantically. The sound of her voice cut the most recent cry off halfway through.

“Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma,” Amber suddenly shouted, sounding slightly less distressed.

“Yes, that’s right, I’m Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma,” she said, bobbing her head with the syllables as she walked over. In her crib, Amber rolled over on to her side, offering an almost bashful smile and giggle in response. “Oh, you’re cute.” She leaned in and picked her up, holding her close and landing a quick peck to the top of the tot’s head. And then, because she could see how the wolf was shifting anxiously on his paws, she held Amber down so he could get a better sniff at her. She squealed and patted at his muzzle. Seeming to take this as a good sign that she was, in fact, fine, he closed his eyes and wagged his tail for her.

She made quick work of getting her changed into a clean diaper and then made her way out towards the kitchen, Kosmo right on her heels.

“You know,” she trailed as she rounded the corner from the staircase, “I’m starting to think our dog is a little neurotic.”

Keith perked up from where he was putting chopped pieces of fruit into the blender. “Kosmo’s not a dog, Pidge; he’s a wolf,” he corrected bluntly.

“Okay, same difference,” she scoffed just before he turned the blender on. Amber shrieked loudly in delight at the sound of the device running as Pidge buckled her into her booster seat. “Think she can handle some scrambled eggs this morning?”

“Probably,” he said as he finished pouring the smoothies into their respective glasses. He then paused to peer out through the little window above the sink. “Man, it is looking ugly out there.”

“Is it?” she asked, leaning around her own seat to try and peer out the sliding glass doors. She scowled slightly before getting up and moving the blinds to get a better look. “Wow, it’s, like… almost kinda foggy out there.”

“It could be mist,” Keith suggested as he walked over, setting her smoothie down in front of her seat for her. He then paused to lean over and press a kiss to their daughter’s forehead. “Good morning, baby girl.” He hummed, playfully pinching the chub under her little chin. She squealed and squirmed at the attention, making grabby hands at him. Unable to resist, he unbuckled her to scoop her up and snuggle her closer.

“I suppose so. Just means we’ll probably be getting some rain later today,” she said before stepping away to settle back at the table. She paused when she spotted the empty seat and then pinned him with a quirked eyebrow. “Really? After I just buckled her in?”

He offered her a sheepish grin. “She wants to see how Daddy makes his famous scrumptious scrambled eggs,” he tutted before heading to the fridge. Seeming to sense the look of panic of his wife’s face to the prospect of their baby being near hot cooking utensils, he added, “Or, rather, she wants to see what Daddy uses. Once I’m actually cooking, she can go back and maybe have a Mommy milk appetizer.”

While Keith cooked, Pidge settled Amber in her arms to nurse. In the time it took him to get their breakfast put together, the rain had started a downpour outside. She peered outside as Keith reached out to take Amber from her. “Wow, it’s really coming down out there. I don’t blame you for skimping out on the exercise this morning,” she commented, pulling the strap of her breastfeeding tank top back into proper place.

“It obviously wasn’t this bad when I woke up, but it was starting to drizzle. For as much as I like the rain, I’m not going out to run in that. Or taking this itty bitty cutie patootie out in that,” he cooed, reaching over to squeeze one of Amber’s little feet. She giggled at him around her hand, which she’d been using to stuff egg into her mouth. “You are a tiny mess.”

“Want a napkin?” Pidge giggled as she watched them, reaching over and plucking one from the center of the table.

“Thanks,” he laughed, taking it from her. It was a bit of a fight to get Amber’s hand out of her mouth so he could wipe the drool and bits of egg off, but he managed. Just as he finished cleaning her up and moved to grab her little plastic spork, however, the lights flickered and a rumble of thunder loud enough to shake the house halted them.

They watched as Amber’s whole body tensed at the noise, little eyes wide, before they watered and she started to scream in fear.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Pidge cooed, scrambling to unbuckle her. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Mommy and Daddy are right here, you’re safe.”

Amber shrieked even louder as she was carefully maneuvered out, another slightly less fearsome clap echoing overhead, and burrowed her face into Pidge’s shoulder the minute she could. Kosmo shoved his head up on Pidge’s lap, letting out a loud whine of his own, trying to lick at the toddler’s feet as his own show of comfort. Keith got up and moved over to them, giving Kosmo a quick pat on the head. “It’s okay, buddy. She’s just afraid of the loud storm,” he said, hoping to soothe the wolf. The last thing they needed was both of their beloved small creatures having a fit over the poor weather.

Kosmo blinked at him, golden eyes gleaming as if he understood, before he disappeared in a small, shimmering cloud. Keith and Pidge both blinked, wondering where he’d gone, before they heard loud, angry barking outside. “Um,” she trailed quietly, glancing over towards the sliding glass doors, where she’d pushed the blinds aside.

There, running back and forth like made, teleporting occasionally as well, was Kosmo, barking and snapping at the rain coming down.

“Oh, my God,” Keith breathed quietly.

“He’s barking at the storm for scaring her. He is literally running around out there, screaming at the sky! Like, ‘Hey! Knock it the Hell off! You are scaring my baby!’” Pidge laughed incredulously, gently rubbing their daughter’s back.

He looked from her to the wolf outside. “Oh, my God,” he said, the statement coming out as more of a small laugh of his own.

“Accept the fact that your cosmic wolf is more like a cosmic dog, babe,” she teased, carefully adjusting her grip on Amber as another rumble echoed above them. In response to the thunder, as if now personally offended, Kosmo’s barks grew louder and even more furious.

He let out a small sigh. “Yeah. Okay. Maybe you’re right,” he relented.

“It ain’t a maybe, baby,” she teased, winking at him.

He rolled his eyes. “If you say so,” he mumbled before heading back over and settling into the chair beside her. Amber turned her head to look at him when she heard the chair moving. He offered her a small smile before reaching out to gently wipe the tears off her chubby, red face.

Later on, when the thunder passed, Keith was tasked with drying Kosmo offer before he rubbed his wet dog smell on everything. Neither of them were surprised when, after being deemed safe for the furniture, the wolf curled himself up right against Pidge, letting his head drop into her lap so he could look at the Amber, as if needing to be sure she was still safe. The small tot babbled excitedly at him and squirmed until her Mommy set her on him. She belly flopped into his fur, letting her snuggle into him like a big, fluffy pillow. It didn’t take long before she dozed off and, seeing she was asleep, Kosmo curled a bit more snuggly around her, making sure her little head was still visibly but using his tail to cover her like a makeshift blanket. Pidge smiled and gently scratched behind one of his ears. “Good boy,” she cooed softly.

He blinked up at her before moving to give Amber’s head a little lick, settling in for a nap of his own.

[vantekay]

valentine ||jhs

word count: 3.2k

estimated reading time: like 10 ish minutes, maybe? I haven’t been timing these sksks I’m sorry I will eventually come back and time it

genre(s): fluff fluff fluff and more fluff also a scene where you stargaze because I’m self indulgent and like every fic of mine that has a date scene includes stargazing sksksk sorry 

warning(s): none 

“throughout all the seasons, in this transition of winter-spring you've been here beside me with the sweet nothings you're whispering”

hoseok has always called you his rock because you kept him grounded whenever he needed it, reminding him in times of hardships that he was more than enough and that those bouts of feeling like he wasn’t enough would pass. he also called you his rock because you had been in his life for as long as he could remember, literally. you had known hoseok since you guys were kids. teeny tiny tots playing together at the daycare your mothers had both decided were good enough to watch you while they were busy. it all started because you, a very shy kid who kept to themselves in the corner, was crying and you immediately caught hoseok’s attention. you had come to find very quickly that he was the literal embodiment of sunshine and rainbows and everything else that could possibly bring you joy. he had been the only kid to approach you in the daycare since you arrived, and he made it his mission to make you happy. he had introduced himself to you as hobi, and from that day on it was hobi and y/n against the world. as you grew older, you had found that hoseok actually lived in the same neighborhood as you and this led to you and him growing closer as you aged. enter your tween and teen years and you were pretty much bound at the hip, doing anything and everything you could together. you had begun going to the others family gatherings, parties and other special events together and there came a time when both of your families had begun teasing you both about being an item. this would always prompt your cheeks to turn a deep rose color as hoseok denied any chances of getting together with you, claiming you were more like a sister to him. this had hurt you a bit the first few times he had said it, seeing as you had feelings for hoseok that were definitely not brotherly and you had always silently hoped he felt the same but you learned to quickly push those feelings down and laugh along with him whenever family members brought it up. this continued for a couple years until one drunken high school party where you had confessed your feelings for him and, to your surprise, he felt the same. the next day was spent soberly clearing things up and properly confessing, marking the beginning of your new relationship with hoseok. he learned very quickly that you were supportive of him. you always had been, but now that you proudly wore the title of girlfriend it had been enhanced ten fold and it made hoseok's day. whether it was cheering him on at his tennis games or during his swim meets, you never failed to bring a smile to his face when he caught you waving at him from the sidelines, the widest of grins on your face as you showed him how proud you were. you’re praises never stopped on the field though, no, hoseok would hear them the entire way back to your homes, and if you were spending the night at his then you would continue to praise him there too. when he had finished getting ready to relax and you were waiting for him on his bed with open arms, he would happily clamber into bed with you and accept your cuddles, you held him close to your chest as you ran your hand through his hair and continued to talk about how proud you were of him, how amazing he did during the game and so forth, until finally his eyes would flutter closed and the smile on his lips stretched wider.

“you're a lovable, angelic piece of perfect and anything i do for you is worth it times a million and a half”

it should come as no surprise that hoseok loves to do for other people, especially for you. whatever it was you needed him to do he would do it in a heartbeat. you needed a new pair of pants because you spilled coffee on your old ones? hoseok was already on his way to the mall as soon as you told him. you had a really bad day at work and you wanted takeout and a movie night in? hoseok has your favorite takeout place on speed dial and your order memorized and could make it to your apartment in 10 minutes flat with your favorite movie. you were his angel, his world, and he loved doing things for you. hoseok always made it known that you could count on him, constantly telling you that it didn’t matter how busy he was or what he was doing. reminding you that he would always drop whatever it was and help you in any way he could. this made touring a little difficult for him, seeing as how he wouldn’t be able to stop in the middle of a show to help you if you needed him but you knew he would help you as soon as he could. there was one time, however, where in the middle of a show he had gotten a message from your coworker telling him that you had fallen at work and were rushed to the hospital. it wasn’t anything major, just a preemptive trip to make sure you didn’t break any bones from the fall but it was still enough to plant that seed of worry in hoseok. what made this worse was the fact that he was in the middle of a show, in between songs and getting a quick change when he had heard the news from a staff member. they tried to reassure him that you were okay and that you weren’t actually hurt that badly, that your coworker just wanted to make sure you hadn’t broken any bones but it was still enough to drive hoseok mad. he tried to brush it off for the rest of the show and not worry ARMY but you were all he could think about. of course he immediately thought of all the worst case scenarios he could, like you being stuck at the hospital all by yourself because your friend had to leave, or you having broken every bone in your body and having to be put in a full body cast for a couple of months and many other unlikely scenarios. as soon as the show had ended, he rushed off stage to video call you, not even bothering with a text to make sure you were still up. his heart was relieved for a split second when you answered on the second ring, and he didn’t even let you speak before he was already blubbering off his concerns.

“oh god angel I’m glad you answered, I got the text from your coworker saying you were in the hospital as we were in the middle of the show and I was so worried about you. are you okay? did you break anything? do I need to sue your company for the fall? psychological damage that you may have suffered? god baby I’m so sorry I’m not there to sit with you in the hospital right now and- wait, are you at home?” hoseok furrowed his eyebrows and squinted down at his phone screen as you leaned your head back to let out a loud laugh. he backs away from his intense staring with his lips down in a frown and a pout on his face, waiting for you to explain.

“I got out of the hospital like, an hour ago love. it was just a trip to make sure I didn’t break anything, which I didn’t, I just twisted my ankle s’all.” as you spoke you could watch the worry physically drain itself from hobi’s face, his heart shaped smile beginning to form itself on his lips at the thought of you being okay.

“oh thank god, y/n I couldn’t even begin to tell you how worried I was about you, I was starting to wonder if management would let me fly home to see you in case you had been put in a full body cast or something.” now you both laughed, hoseok blushing slightly at how ridiculous he sounded but you assured him that you loved it, loved him for caring so much about you and being ready to do whatever he needed to take care of you. you meant a lot to him, and he would be willing to give you his heart in a split second if you needed it, that’s how much he loved you. 

“cause i love you and i'd like to spend forever in the subtle warmth inside your arms”

hoseok’s favorite thing to do with you has to without a doubt be cuddling. he loves it when you cuddle him or he cuddles you, he doesn’t mind either position as long as he can feel the warmth radiating off of your body and onto his. he loves holding you close, head pressed up against his chest so you can hear his heartbeat while his hand runs through your hair as he talks to you about his day and you talk to him about yours. hoseok always wants to be touching you in some way whether it be hugging or cuddling or holding hands, he always wants to feel your warmth. whenever you go out in public he is holding your hand, if you have to separate for whatever reason he always makes sure you part with a hug and if you guys are just spending time at the dorm or at your apartment you better believe you’re cuddled up on the couch together. hoseok loves it the most when he wakes up with you in his arms, the way you’re always wrapped up in his embrace like you haven’t moved since you fell asleep in the same position. he loves it when it’s raining really heavily and you beg him to sit out in the living room with you, huddled up on the couch with your favorite blanket and a movie on the tv, drowned out by the sound of the rain hitting the glass of your window. he loves it when you rest your head on his shoulder while gazing at something, whether it be your phone or whatever else may be holding your attention and he just enjoys being close to you, and he never wants to let you go.

“i'll keep on creating for you until my final days, dancing in the living room and smooching while the vinyl plays”

one of hoseok’s favorite memories with you is whenever he had a day off and you insisted on dancing with him, since he would continue to practice even if he was meant to be relaxing. the day usually goes something like this, you begin by sitting in the living room and watching him dance, then he insists on teaching you some of the moves so now you’re up and dancing with him and then eventually you convince him to do some kind of slow dance with you as a cool down from earlier. he would never admit it but he loves it when his days off go like this, getting some practice in and then ending it with you and him slow dancing while your bluetooth speaker plays whatever love song you have in your playlist. he loves holding you by the waist, watching as you lean your head forward on his chest while you dance, hands intertwined and the soft sounds of your breath mingling as you sway together in the living room. hoseok will begin his kiss attacks with simple smooches to you hair, and then gradually makes his way down to your face after you’ve removed it from the warmth of his chest to look up at him. he starts his descent at your forehead, leaving a kiss there before travelling to your nose, and then both cheeks, your chin, the corners of your mouth and then finally landing on your lips. the kiss is always soft and sweet and makes butterflies erupt in your stomach and you can’t get enough of him which leads into a makeout session. hoseok’s hands grip your waist a little tighter as your hands move to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck, not once breaking apart for air. you continue like that for what feels like hours, just holding each other and sharing kisses under the dim lighting in your living room until hoseok’s stomach begins to growl louder than the music playing in the background and you break apart with a laugh, walking into the kitchen together to prepare a meal.

“cause we can both hear the compliments coming in from these pals of mine and I've been wondering if you would be my valentine”

hoseok remembers back in highschool, when you had just started dating, and valentine’s day approaching faster than he would have liked. he was nervous seeing as it was the first holiday you would be spending together as a couple and he wanted it to be perfect. his friends had encouraged him, telling him they would help him with any planning or preparations he had. what he really wanted to do was take you out for a picnic date at the park you really liked that was a bit of a drive out of town and then watch the stars with you. he tells his friends about his plan in hopes that they will get the hint to leave him alone, but something about the way they smile at him after he’s done speaking tells him otherwise. brushing it off, he waits for you in the school’s parking lot and gets ready to put his plan into action. when you get into his car, he starts to drive towards the location of the park which is on the opposite side of town where you both live. you’re confused, and look over to ask him what he’s doing to which you only get a “you’ll see” out of him. you sit back and enjoy the ride, wondering what he could possibly have planned for today. when you arrive at the park the sun has begun its descent and hobi is quick to pull you out of his car and towards the location of the picnic dinner he has had set up for the past few hours. you laugh at his enthusiasm only to be wowed by the location for which he has picked out. the spot he found has a perfect overview of the horizon ahead, and it perfectly shows off the current setting sun and all of the orange pink and purple hues stemming from it. you stand there in awe, mouth hung open as you watch the sun set and hoseok can’t help but take a couple photos of you, some from a few feet behind you showing off both the setting sun and your silhouetted frame. he smiles down at the photos before walking up behind you and wrapping you up in a hug, head placed on your shoulder as he places soft kisses into the crook of your neck. you giggle before attempting to get away from him, claiming that his shows of affection tickle and that you want to eat. he leads you back over to the blanket and begins to pull out the food he had prepared. to your surprise, he pulls out a bunch of fruits and what looks to be kimchi made from scratch. you look up at him in awe while a blush blossoms on his cheeks. he dishes out the servings of food between the two of you before starting to eat, striking up conversation with you about school that day and what plans you had for the weekend. after you both finish eating and the sun has promptly set, he asks you to lay down with him on the blanket to stargaze for a little. it takes you by surprise, seeing as hoseok has never addressed the idea of finding stargazing particularly interesting but you assume that maybe he had seen posts about it on twitter or instagram pertaining to how it was a cute date idea. you lay hand in hand and watch the stars for about an hour before you pack up to go home, the cold air beginning to nip at your skin and creating goosebumps. once you’re back inside his car hoseok pulls out one last surprise gift for you. you assume it’s a ring, considering the box he occupies in his hands is too small to contain a necklace or bracelet and you feel your heartbeat begin to pick up. hoseok smiles before opening the case and showing off a beautiful gold promise ring set, one for you and one for him. he takes the one meant for you out and begins to place it on your ring finger as he speaks softly. 

“I got these because even though we just started dating, we’ve known each other our whole lives and I can’t imagine the rest of my life being with anyone else but you. I want to continue making memories with you and I want to build my future with you, y/n. so I want us to make a promise that we will always be there for each other.” hoseok looks back up from your hand with a smile on his face as he finishes talking and you quickly lean forward to place a chaste kiss on his lips. “of course I want to spend the rest of my life with you hobi, I promise.” you extend your pinky finger for him to latch onto and he does so with a small laugh, leaning forward to kiss you again. it isn’t until you hear whooping and hollering from outside that you pull away, looking around quickly to spot the source of the noise. hoseok rolls his eyes and leans his head back until it hits the headrest, promptly bringing his hands up to run down his face with a groan. “I knew they were going to follow us here.” he mumbles before his friends arrive at the driver’s side window, smirks plastered on their faces as they show hoseok a big thumbs up. when he turns to unlock the door their expressions all drop, quickly running off into the direction of their own cars in order to escape hoseok’s wrath. you laugh from the passenger's seat as you watch him chase his friends around the parking lot, yelling about how they “need to respect his privacy” and “can’t you guys get your own girlfriend instead of living vicariously through me?!” 

when he finally gets them to leave and has returned to his spot behind the wheel he turns to apologize to you, “as you can see, they were very excited for our valentines plans, and they wanted to see if you would turn me down or something I’m not too sure what they were expecting.” but all you can do is laugh some more and tell him that you didn’t mind, that you thought it was cute his friends wanted to see how things would turn out, and maybe they would finally listen to hobi and stop living as though you were their girlfriend as well.

[hotsummertrash]

you are the reason ⋆ c.h

Pairing: Calum x OC

Summary: Calum reflects on his past after two of the most important people in his life are gone.

Warning(s): angst, fluff, memories, swearing, fighting, this is a whole ass story

Song: You Are the Reason by Calum Scott

Word Count: 6.5k

A/N: italics are memories, bold italics are song lyrics

• • • •

"Still staring at the picture?" Mali's voice pulled Calum out of his trance. 

His tired eyes glanced up at his sister who stood in his doorway, her arms crossed and shoulder leaning against the wall. Her face held outright pity as she looked down on her younger brother whose eyes were red with dark bags beneath them.

"I-" his raspy voice starts before he cuts himself off, a small exhale escaping his mouth. He looks back down at the picture frame in his hands, his face crinkling back up as his eyes sting with tears for the tenth time that day.

"Cal," Mali sighed, walking into his room and taking a seat on the bed beside him. "You've haven't left this house in a week."

"They'll be coming back soon," he assured himself. "I want to be here when they get here."

Mali frowned, glancing away from her brother and at the ground solemnly.

Calum's eyes burned holes into the photo he was holding, his vision roaming back and forth between two of the most beloved faces in his world.

"Bub," Mali began, but Calum quickly cut her off with a shake of his head.

"Don't say anything," he mumbled. "They're coming back. I know they are."

"The guys are worried," she informed him, but he kept quiet there on out. Mali closed her mouth and reluctantly nodded, clasping her hands together and rising back up to her feet. She headed back out of the room, halting right before exiting through the door. "I'll be back tomorrow. I left food in the kitchen. Love you, Cal."

When he doesn't reply, she bites the inside of her left cheek and officially leaves, making her way out his room, down the stairs, out of his house and to her car.

The second Calum hears the front door close, he's snapped out of his trance once again. He looks up and notices that his sister is gone. He hadn't realized when she'd done so.

He slowly placed the frame down on the bed beside him before standing up and running a hand through his tangled tousles.

His feet slid across the floor as he trudged out of his room, his stomach making noises due to the emptiness of it.

He subconsciously halted in front of one specific door, goosebumps rising on his timid skin as nausea settles within him. His eyes water for what seems like the hundredth time when he reads the seven letters on the top of the white door.

'Grayson'.

• • • •

Four Years Ago

"He already has your hair," Elaine murmured as she watched her three-week-old baby boy in the middle of her and Calum's shared bed.

Calum smiled, staring down at his beautiful son whose eyes were closed as he peacefully slept.

Elaine couldn't stop awing at Grayson, even weeks after he had been born. She still couldn't fathom the thought that this tiny perfect human had formed inside of her.

This mix of Elaine and Calum with dark curly hair, chocolate brown eyes and golden skin was the newfound epitome of love for both of them.

Calum took his son's hand into his own, running his thumb over the soft skin. His eyes then traveled up to his wife who was too busy looking down at Grayson. Calum happily reflected on his small family, which he loved with all of his heart.

There and then, he knew that nothing would ever top the feeling he had felt at that moment.

"I don't want him to grow," Calum admitted with a small laugh.

"I just want to stare at him like this all day," Elaine gushed, tilting her head to the side. "I love him so much, my chest aches."

"My two angels," Calum beams at the two. "My two loves."

• • • •

Three Years Ago

"Good morning, bug," Elaine's soft voice made Grayson smile up at her, his knees bending as his hands held on to the bars of his crib. "Why are you up so early?" She lifts him up into her arms and kisses the side of his curly head.

"Dah," the toddler hummed, bunching Elaine's shirt in his tiny hands.

"Wanna wake up Daddy?" She suggested, to which he sluggishly nodded. She let out a small chuckle before turning and walking out of his room, heading into hers and Calum's.

Calum had shuffled to the middle of the bed in the small amount of time she's been gone, his arms spread beside him as he comfortably sleeps on his stomach. Elaine settles herself beside him and places Grayson onto the bed.

Grayson crawls to his father, placing his hands on Calum's face and babbling a few incoherent words - if he could even call them words.

"Dah," Grayson muttered.

"Daddy's tired," Elaine runs a hand through Calum's hair, igniting a soft grunt.

"- time is it?" Calum lowly grumbled, blinking a few times before turning on his back. His yawn forms into a smile when he spots Grayson, taking his son and sitting him on his bare chest.

"A little after eight," Elaine doesn't pull her hand from her husband's roots, an action he genuinely enjoyed.

"I'm exhausted," Calum yawns again as Grayson scoots backward on his chest so he can lie down, resting his face on his father's collarbone. "What're you doing up so early?"

"I think Mali put him to bed early last night," Elaine leaned her back against the headboard and grabbed her phone from the nightstand with her free hand, scrolling through a few emails while Calum began to drift back to sleep.

Grayson sat up and saw Calum's closed eyes, his face scrunching up in distress.

"Dah," Grayson whined, catching Elaine's attention.

"Daddy's sleeping," she cooed, putting her phone down and reaching over to take him off of Calum's chest.

Grayson let out a whine, his eyes forming tears at the separation.

"Don't cry, baby, he'll be up soon," Elaine sighed, wiping away the first tear that fell. She bit her bottom lip as Grayson's mouth opened, knowing that the next sound leaving his mouth would be a heavy and chalky sob.

Calum's eyes fluttered open once again as he hears Grayson's cries.

"Wanna lay with Daddy, then?" Elaine suggests, and Grayson eagerly nods. Calum forms a lazy yet smug grin while Elaine rolled her eyes with a small smile. "What happened to being a Mama's boy, eh?" She huffed, placing Grayson down beside his father.

Calum opened his arms and Grayson crawled right into them, his head lying on Calum's chest while he sits on his knees. Calum's hand runs up and down Grayson's back, stopping the tot's cries and Elaine couldn't help but gush at the sight. No matter how many times she's seen the two interact, she knew she'd never get over it.

"I'm gonna change," Elaine stood from the bed and used the hair tie on her wrist to bring up her shoulder-length hair into a ponytail.

"For wha'?" Calum asked.

"Going to pick up Dee from Dad's," she replies, pushing excess hair behind her ear. "Remember?"

Elaine's dad and Farrah, his wife and Elaine's stepmother, would be visiting Haiti and staying with Farrah's family for the next two weeks, leaving their Norwich Terrier, Dee, in Elaine's hands until they return.

"Ah, yeah," he nods. "Thought you were gonna do that later."

"Well, I'm up now and not going back to sleep anytime soon," she shrugged, turning and making her way to the walk-in closet. She grabs one of Calum's graphic tees and a pair of leggings before putting them on.

After brushing her teeth and washing her face, she walks back into the bedroom to see Calum back asleep while Grayson lies beside him.

When Grayson sees his mother, he sits up and opens his arms to her.

"Oh, now you want Mama?" She teases, picking him up into his arms. "Want to come to Grandpa and Grandma with me?"

Grayson doesn't respond, not truly understanding what she had asked. Elaine takes the silence as a yes and goes to get Grayson ready in his room.

She gives him a quick bird bath before putting him into dark blue sweat slacks and a regular grey shirt. She put his Velcro shoes on before sliding her own sneakers on, as well.

"Let's say bye to Daddy," Elaine said as the two entered the master bedroom once again. "Give kiss."

Grayson leans towards Calum from his mother's arms and pressed his lips against the corner of Calum's lips. Calum stirred awake for the third time, blinking his tired eyes into clear vision.

"We'll be back soon," Elaine smiled, leaning over herself to give her husband a kiss. Calum kisses her back on the lips for a few seconds before kissing Grayson on the forehead. "Love you."

"Love you, too," he hums as his wife and son exit his bedroom.

Twenty minutes later, Elaine and Grayson arrive at her father and step-mother's house. The second they step through the door, Grayson is running into Farrah's arms.

"Gam!" He giggled as his grandmother lifted him into her arms and attacked his face with her kisses.

"Hi, Mom," Elaine chuckled, closing the front door behind her just as Dee comes running into the room, barking up a storm.

"Hi, Baby," Farrah kisses Elaine on the cheek before turning back to Grayson.

"Where's Dad?" Elaine walked into the living room and set her keys on the coffee table.

"In the backyard, pulling out the weeds," Farrah hummed.

"Smells good, you making food?" Elaine's face lit up as her mouth slightly watered at the thought of her step-mother's cooking.

When Elaine was fifteen, her father had re-married and the family of two became a family of three. Elaine was an American-raised Italian and all she knew before Farrah entered their lives was microwavable dishes and cliché dinners only on days like Thanksgiving and Christmas. When Farrah had become her official step-mother, it was as if an entire new world opened up at her hands and that world contained various flavors of Caribbean food, her newfound favorite kind.

"Ah, wi!" Farrah grinned. "I'm making food for you guys while we're gone. Got nothing better to do."

"That's too kind, Mom, thank you," Elaine cheered, walking to the kitchen.

"No problem, Baby. There are plantains, potato salad, egg salad, mayi moulin, blah blah blah," she lists. "Woke up early this morning and had nothing better to do. Packing is done, and Gio wanted to pull the weeds before we're off. The food's done, actually. Just need to put it all in containers."

"Smells like heaven," Elaine fawns. Farrah grins at the compliment and places Grayson back onto the ground, although the sticks by her side.

"Hey!" All heads turn at the loud and deep voice caused by Elaine's father as he walked in through the back door. The sweat on him was very visible, from his armpits to his shining forehead. "Thought you were coming later."

"Grayson and I woke up early, so I decided to come and get Dee now," Elaine shrugged, walking towards her father and wrapping her arms around him, avoiding his damp pit stains.

"Where's my favorite grand-baby?" Gio beamed as he pulled away from his daughter, leaning down happily.

"He's your only grand-baby," Farrah cocked her head to the side as Grayson gave his grandfather a hug.

"Not for long, right?" Gio glances up at Elaine with a smug grin, to which she rolled her eyes at. "Where's Cal?"

"Sleeping. We got in late last night."

Elaine and Calum had gone to a concert the night before with a few friends and then drinks afterward, leading up to them arriving home at one in the morning. It was safe to say that Calum was sporting a very severe hangover.

"Ah, well I'll give him a call sometime soon," Gio shrugged. Elaine always loved the relationship between her father and husband. She had been afraid growing up that he would never accept anybody she'd gotten with, but when he actually accepted Calum as her boyfriend, eventual husband and father of her child, everybody was exceptionally taken by surprise.

Elaine bent down and picked up Dee, kissing the old dog on the top of its head.

"Thanks for holding her," Gio nodded, rising to his feet.

"No worries. Grayson loves Dee, right, Gray?"

"Dee!" Grayson called, causing Gio to let out a hefty chuckle.

Elaine and Grayson hang about her parent's house for another half hour before they head back home, with a tote full of containers and food and a fifteen-year-old dog.

"There my gorgeous family is," Calum's voice echoes through the halls as Elaine walks in with Grayson and Dee. "What smells so good? Farrah give us leftovers?"

"More like entire meals," Elaine holds the tote up. "Said she wanted us to eat well while she was gone."

"Love that woman," Calum laughed, kneeling down to pet Dee. Grayson kicked off his shoes before running off to the playroom, busying himself with the various toys surrounding him.

"Even made your favorite," Elaine hummed as Calum stood back up and took her hand into his, leading her to the kitchen.

"Her potato salad?"

"Mhm," she hummed and Calum fist-bumped the air happily.

After she set the bag on the counter, she turned in Calum's arms, wrapping her arms around his neck while his wrap around her waist.

"Want to watch movies with a few friends tonight?" He suggests. "Can put Gray to bed and then eat so much our stomachs hurt."

"Sounds like a ball," Elaine giggled. "Who's coming?"

"The guys, Crystal, Patrick, Andy, Kahleel," he lists.

"Alright. I'm not picking the movie, though," she lightly pats his cheek. "Last time I picked the movie, everyone hated it."

"We didn't hate it," he lies yet visibly fails. Elaine rose a single eyebrow but he held his act. "Well, I kind of liked it..." Elaine's face only grew more unamused and he eventually gave up. "Alright, I'll choose the movie."

"Mhm," she nodded.

"But we've got to go shopping for snacks. I don't want them eating our food, most importantly- Farrah's food."

"There's enough to go around," Elaine laughed.

"Nope," he shook his head. "More for us. Let's go."

"Fine," Elaine shook her head with another chuckle, walking out of his hold. "Let me just put this food away first and we'll go."

"Gray!" Calum called, walking to the playroom that was right next to the living room.

"Huh?" Grayson called back, walking out of the room with Dee in his footsteps.

"Let's put your shoes back on, Buddy."

The three head to Target not too long after that. Grayson sits in the front of the cart while Calum pushes and Elaine throws whatever she believes their friends will eat into it.

"Patrick and Kahleel said they like plantain chips, right?" Elaine asked although she knew Calum wouldn't know.

"I have no idea," he shrugged, throwing a pack of dried mango into the cart for himself.

Elaine opened her mouth when someone tapped on her shoulder. She turned and rose her eyebrows at the sight of three teenage girls who she could only guess were fans.

"Oh my- h-hi," one of them greet.

"Hi," Elaine smiled.

"You're Elaine Hood," another one of them says, star-struck eyes staring at her.

"I like to say I am," Elaine jokes.

"And you're Calum Hood," she says, internally squealing.

"Could we please get a picture?" The third asks. "But it's completely fine if not, we just-"

"Of course!" Elaine waved a single hand. "What are your names?" She soon learned that Cassidy, Eve and India stood in front of her.

"I really loved you in Laze Daze and Land Of! Those are actually my two favorite movies," Eve says, and Elaine basks in the compliment.

During Elaine's elementary and middle school years, she had acted in five movies, four of them being world-known. Before entering high school, she chose to stop acting because that's not what she wanted to do in life. And even though she stopped all those years ago, people still recognized her to this day.

"And I love Five Seconds of Summer so much! I've been a fan since you guys opened for One Direction!" Cassidy enthusiastically says, making Calum smile.

"Is that Grayson? He's so adorable!" Eve adds.

"I want your genes," India jokes and Elaine lightly chuckles.

Elaine takes a picture with the three girls before Calum does so as well and they leave hastily and gratefully.

"They were sweet," Elaine hummed as they strolled into the frozen aisle.

Calum just nodded, internally happy that others love his family, as well. Although nobody loves them more than he does.

• • • •

Two Years Ago

"This one looks nice, eh?" Calum hums, picking a shell from the wet sand and holding it up in front of Grayson.

"Pretty," Grayson nods, taking the shell from Calum’s hold and putting it into the green bucket. He turned just as the tide came in, water running over his feet. He grew giddy and squealed as his head shrunk into his shoulders.

"Water's cold?" Calum laughs.

"Yeah, water cold," Grayson repeats.

Calum smiled and looked over to where Elaine, Kahleel and Ashton sat beneath their very large beach umbrella. Ashton and Elaine laughed together while Kahleel was fast asleep, her sun hat on her face blocking her from the winded sand.

"Daddy, go in," Grayson put the bucket on the floor.

"You wanna go in?" Calum asked.

"Yeah! Yeah, in."

"You sure, Bug?"

"In," Grayson repeated.

"Alright, alright," Calum gave in, taking the bucket that carried a few shells and placing it a bit farther out so the tide wouldn't take it.

Calum takes Grayson's hand into his and they walk a few inches deeper into the water.

"Cold!" Grayson squealed and Calum chuckled. Calum bends down and flicks very little water at him. "Daddy!" Grayson splashes water back at his father and they both were swarmed in laughter as they played in the water.

Calum would lift his son out of the ocean water and then place him back down repeatedly, which was more fun than it sounded for the both of them.

From the shore, Elaine and Ashton watched the two with smiles on their faces. Elaine got her phone out and snapped a few pictures of Calum kissing Grayson's cheek and spinning him in the air.

Eventually, Elaine had gotten up and went to join the two in the water. She happily took Grayson from Calum's hands before Calum wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and held them both in their air. Scream-like giggles filled the air.

Moments later, the playful energy had cooled down and Grayson's head rested on his mother's shoulder. Calum's arm is around his wife's waist and the three turn to watch as the sun slowly disappears behind the body of water, purple skies taking over.

Calum reflected on his life at that moment, subconsciously smiling and tightening his hold on Elaine, kissing the side of her head giddily.

"Love you, Angel," he sighs.

• • • •

One Year Ago

"L is for the way you look at me," Elaine sings as Calum and her glide through the living room, Michael Bublé blaring through the wall speakers.

"O is for the only one I see," Calum mixes singing and giggling in together, the two glasses of wine barely affecting him.

"V is very, very extraordinary!"

"E is even more than anyone that you adore."

"And love is all that I can give to you," they both sing together, their hands clasped and feet roaming the floor in sync. "Love is more than just a game for two. Two in love can make it. Take my heart but please don't break it. Love was made for me and you!"

Calum abruptly leaned forward and pecked her lips, making her grin just before he hoisted her in the air and on his shoulder.

"Calum!" She squealed, slapping his back and then his rear end a few times.

He dropped her on the couch and threw himself on top, both of them erupting into full belly laughs. Calum's kisses start at her shoulder and lead up to the corner of her mouth before pulling away with a mocking smile.

"Michael is still playing, Cal!" She pushed him off of her and jumped up, twirling to the sound of Michael Bublé's voice happily. Calum grins at the sight, leaning back and running a hand through his hair.

"Dance with me, Baby," Elaine holds her hand out for him, and he shrugs before taking it and rising. They spin, skip and leap around, having the time of their tipsy lives. At the last note of the song, Elaine takes Calum and tips him over like the males typically do to females. Jokingly, she drops him and they erupt into another fit of heavy laughs.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Grayson's voice shouts from the second floor. Calum sits up and Elaine freezes as both of their parenting instincts take place.

"Stop the music!" Calum shouts as he hops up and runs after Elaine up the stairs.

"Gray, what is it?" Elaine calls and rushed into Grayson's room. She flicks his light on and hurried to his bed, Calum on her heels.

"My nose is fuffy," he whines, kicking his sheets off of him.

"Your nose is stuffy?" Calum furrows his eyebrows and Grayson nods.

"And my head hurts," he adds.

Elaine places the back of her hand against his forehead and recoils at the hot skin.

"Think he might have a fever," Elaine sighed, standing up and heading to the first-floor bathroom where the first aid kit is. She takes out the thermometer and makes her way back to Grayson's room.

Grayson sits on Calum's lap as he quietly cries and winces.

"Open your mouth, Gray," Elaine instructs. "And lift your tongue." After a thorough check, she bites her lip as the thermometer reads 101.7 degrees. She eventually gets Tylenol and a cold cloth while Calum moves Grayson to their bedroom.

After an hour of whines, Grayson is fast asleep on between Calum and Elaine. Elaine rests on her side, one arm beneath her head while she runs her free hand through her son's hair, a liking he had gotten from his father.

"Scared me half to death," Calum murmured with a small sigh.

"Thank God it's just a fever," Elaine said, her voice low and soft as she tries not to wake the three-year-old.

Calum leaned forward and kissed Grayson's forehead, pulling back and watching as Elaine's eyes flutter closed and her hands slowly come to a stop in Grayson's hair. He lets out a sigh and closes his own eyes, basking in the presence of the loves of his life.

• • • •

One Week Ago

"You're overreacting," Calum scoffs as he bent forward and slid his shoes on.

"You haven't been home in weeks, Calum," Elaine rolled her eyes. "And then when you are home, you spend all of your time out and about! How is wanting my husband to spend time with his family 'overreacting'?"

"I'm always with you two, I just want to hang out with friends. What's wrong with that?"

"There's nothing wrong with that. But there is something wrong when Grayson repeatedly asks where his father is."

"You act like I don't come home at all," he rolls his eyes.

"You might as well not! You come home at three in the fucking morning every day and sleep until noon, and then you're out again," Elaine throws her hands in the air.

"You're shitting on me because for the first time in five years I'm living my fucking life," he stood up angrily, not even realizing the words that came from his mouth.

"Oh, really?" Elaine crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. "First time in five years?"

"Don't act surprised," he spits.

"Excuse me for being taken aback while my husband basically tells me that he regrets marrying me and having our child."

"You're twisting my words," Calum grumbled. "Talk to me when you're over the dramatics."

"I don't know what's up your ass, but I suggest you take it out."

"You! You're up my ass! All day, every fucking day! I'm twenty-two years old, Elaine! I'm still young! I should be having fun, wasting the night away. Not shopping for car beds and... microwaves!"

"It's kind of too late for second thoughts, Calum," Elaine stood in front of the bed as her chest ached with every word that came out of Calum's mouth.

"Yeah, I understand that much," he murmurs.

The two are quiet for a few seconds, Elaine's eyes brimming with tears as she quietly pants, not knowing what to think or do.

"So you do regret marrying me," she concludes.

"We were too young then, and we're still too young now," he shrugs.

"And you regret having Grayson," she narrows her eyes as they cast downwards and to her bare feet against the carpeted floor.

"I have to go," Calum ignores her words.

"So you're just going to leave? While we're talking?"

"We're not talking, Elaine. You're yelling at me!"

"Because you're being a fucking prick!" She shouted, her face red with anger. "You tell me that you regret ‘us’ and think you can just go drink the night away? Leaving your wife and son at home?!"

"I'll be home in a few," he ignores her words once again, making her even more upset.

"How could you talk to me like that and expect everything to be fine? For me to just accept that you want to take back everything we've built together - our lives?!" Elaine's voice only grew louder.

Calum keeps silent and walks out of the room, making his way to Grayson's.

He turns into his son's room and catches Grayson slowly flipping through a picture book.

Grayson looks up, his eyes brightening when he sees his father.

"Daddy!" Grayson cheered, standing up and running into his father's arms. "Daddy, can we watch Paw Patrol movie? Me and Mommy watched it, I want you to!"

"Maybe another time, Bug," Calum sighed, kissing the top of Grayson's head. "How about tomorrow?"

"Can't cancel a night of drinks to spend time with your own son?" Elaine's voice made his stomach sink from behind him.

"I just want time for myself, can I not have that?" Calum asks through grit teeth.

"Mommy, why are you crying? Are you okay?" Grayson moved away from Calum and to his mother.

"Yes, Baby, I'm alright," Elaine exhaled, wiping at her damp cheeks.

"Where's Daddy going?" Grayson asked as Calum headed downstairs.

"Gray, go to your room. I'll be there in a second," Elaine told the four-year-old before reluctantly following Calum to the first floor.

"Hope your dramatics are gone by the time I'm back," he tiffs, walking out the front door and to his car in the driveway.

"Have a great time, Calum. Hope you can find another girl at the club tonight, ask to marry her and then give her a kid. Maybe you won't regret this one."

"Would you stop it?" Calum spat.

Without another word, she slams the door and hastily locks it, taking a step back and looking at the closed doors with blurry vision. She picked up a hand and placed it on her mouth as a son began to brew. Her face shriveled and she dropped to the floor, moving to bury her entire face in her hands.

"Mommy."

Elaine's face lifted from her palms at the cracked voice of her son. She turned to him, who stood on the bottom step with a frown on his small oblivious face.

"Daddy make you cry?" He quietly questions.

She didn't know how to answer him, standing up and taking her quivering bottom lip between her teeth.

"Let's get you into a bath. Almost bedtime," she sniffs, lifting him in her arms and heading back up the stairs.

Grayson didn't play in the bath like he usually did that night. His mood wasn't the highest knowing that his mother wasn't okay. His eyes kept roaming her sad and distant face. When he was hanging into his pajamas, tears were still leaking out of her eyes.

"Can I sleep in your bed?" He asked, wanting to be close to his glum mother.

"Of course, Baby," she says quietly, taking his hand in hers and leading him to her room. She lifts him onto the bed and forces a smile as she watches him crawl underneath the covers.

Elaine crawled in beside him, lying on her back while Grayson shuffles his head into her neck.

Her mind drifted as Grayson fell asleep, and eventually, she realizes that she had been staring at the ceiling for two hours. Her eyes were numb and swollen by now and her chest felt heavier than ever. The migraine she had didn't help with her emotions either. No matter how long she tried, her mind kept wandering back to Calum and everything he told her mere hours before.

She wondered what he was up to at that moment - if he took some of her sarcastic advice and hooked up with someone else; if he didn't regret a word and actually meant that his entire life with her was a mistake; if he genuinely felt tied down by them.

"Time," she whispers to herself. "Time is what he wants."

Without a second thought, she slid Grayson off of her and rose from the bed. With a burst of negative adrenaline, she pulled two suitcases out from the back of the closet. She set them both at the end of the bed and opened them before going back to the closet and grabbing a few shirts. She then took enough jeans, shorts, leggings, sweatpants and underwear to last a week or two and threw them into the cases.

She eventually moves to Grayson's room, grabbing an armful of clothing from his drawers and filling the second suitcase. She didn't forget to pack a few of his toys or her laptop and any other small necessities. She quietly brings the luggage down the stairs and to her car.

Through the entire process, she didn't stop crying, her hands shaking and nose running.

Towards the end of it all, she changed into sweatpants and a sweatshirt before going for the last move of it all. Grayson.

She grabs his blanket from his own bed before lifting him into her arms bridal style, trying her best not to wake him.

When she puts him into his car seat, he stirs but doesn't wake up, fortunately for her.

Elaine climbs into the driver's seat and takes a deep breath, closing her eyes and running her hands down her face.

"What am I doing?" She whispers to herself. And then she remembers everything that had happened that night. "Giving him space, that's what I'm doing."

She pulls out her phone and goes to send Calum a message, keeping it short and blunt. A second after hitting the send button, she shuts her phone off and tosses it into the seat beside her and turns on the engine of the car.

She clears her mind the second she turns the corner of the street, their house getting farther with every push of the gas.

• • • •

He slides down to the floor with his back against the wall, a new sob rising in his throat. He clenches his eyes closed and throws his head back.

He reluctantly pulls out his phone, slowly opening his eyes and going to his messages, opening the app and going straight for Elaine's contact.

His eyes scroll through all of the texts he's sent her in the past six days. He apologized about thirty times and called over fifty, each of his calls being declined. He had even left voicemails, but all of them have gone unanswered. He went as far as calling her parents and friends, all of them claiming to not know where you are. Though the talk with her father hadn't been the most uplifting, reasonably.

Eventually, he reaches the last text message you sent, and all of the emotions he felt when first reading it coursed through his body once again.

• • • •

One Week Ago

Calum sat in a booth at the bar, physically there but not mentally.

"You alright?" Andy asked, crossing his arms and placing them on the table before them.

"Hm?" Calum turns to his friend.

"You're spacing. Everything okay?"

Calum let out a sigh, not sure whether to lie and brush off his troubles or burst like a damn. He eventually chooses to go with the latter.

"It's Elaine," Calum muttered. "I said some crap before coming here and I don't know why I said it."

"What'd you say?" Andy furrowed his eyebrows.

"Complete bullshit," he was detested with himself. "I implied... implied that marrying her was a mistake."

Andy's eyes widen as his lips parted in disbelief.

"Please tell me you're joking," Andy groaned.

"I'm such a fucking prick," Calum looked up and inhaled.

"What the fuck, Cal? Why would you say something like that? You're always going on about how she's the best thing that's happened to you since the band."

"I know," he murmured. "I just... I was in the wrong, but I was being stubborn. She just wanted me to spend some time with her and Gray and my head was too far up my ass."

"You can't do shit like that, man," Andy frowned. "You've got a beautiful loving wife and a healthy four-year-old boy. Do you know how lucky you are? Your wife adores you and your son looks up to you. Why would you want to dent that all just for a couple drinks with us?"

"I-I don't know. I was talking crap, I didn't mean anything. I fucking love Elaine and Grayson is my lifeline. I'd go crazy if I lost them."

"So then why are you here?"

"What?"

"Why are you here when you should be telling Elaine all of this?"

Calum bit the inside of his cheek just as his phone vibrated. He pulled it from his back pocket and glanced at the most recent text.

'I'll give you time to yourself, just like you want'

His mouth grew sour at the message from his wife. What did it mean? Was she being passive aggressive?

With a sharp breath, he stood up and took long strides out of the bar. He hurried into his car and forgot to put his seat belt on at first due to his wariness.

When he pulled into his driveway thirty minutes later, he began to panic at the absence of Elaine's car. It was nearly eleven at night. Where could she be? On a drive? She did that sometimes when she needed to clear her mind.

He ran a hand through his hair as he walked into his house, an aura of emptiness instantly embracing him.

He took the feeling of homeliness for granted, he realized, as he stood there with a hole in his heart. He trudged up the stairs and walked into his room, another cloud of discomfort enveloping his body. His eyes went for the dresser, two of Elaine's drawers slightly pulled out and looking less full than usual.

Calum furrows his eyebrows and walks to the drawers, inspecting the difference in them. Had she taken clothes out? Why would she-

His entire body froze as a heartbreaking scenario entered his thoughts. He didn't hesitate to rush to their shared closet, his stomach sinking even more at the sight of a few of her missing clothes that he was so sure was there earlier.

"No, no, shit," he hissed to himself before taking off to Grayson's room, where a few of his toys were missing and half of his wardrobe from his closet and dresser.

He feels as if someone's punched him in the gut, leaving him winded and in pain.

"Gray," he whimpered, slouching again the side of the doorway. "Elaine."

He somehow made his way back to his bedroom, his energy nonexistent and emotion running low. He didn't know what to think or how to think.

All he knew was that his wife and son weren't gone forever. They'd come back. And he'd be right there when they do.

• • • •

"I'm so sorry, Baby," he cried quietly into his phone. "I didn't mean any of it. You're my world, you're both my entire world. I don't want to live without you, I don't like being without you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I knew it all along, I just didn't show it like I was supposed to. Please come back home. I don’t know what I was talking about," his voice cracks as more tears fall. "I love you, Angel. I love you so much, and I need you to know that."

When the voicemail goes through, he angrily throws his phone against the wall, heaving through his cries.

He spends the next hour sitting in that exact same position, doing nothing but staring at the wall in front of him.

“ I'd climb every mountain And swim every ocean Just to be with you And fix what I've broken ”

But then there was a jingle of keys.

His ears perked at the sound of the front door unlocking, a part of him believing that his beloved wife and son had returned. Then he realized that he had been getting his hopes up all week only to be let down when his sister walks in.

With a huff, he rises onto his wobbly legs and trudges for the stairs, looking downwards and to the front door.

He watches as it opens, his dull eyes widening when the one person he's been craving all week is revealed on the other side.

Elaine.

She stands with a suitcase by her side, and when the door is fully open, her eyes wander to the stairs and then up them, landing on Calum.

They both were in a frigid state of shock, neither of them moving or saying a word.

That was until Elaine thought that the silence was enough.

"I," she began before lightly gulping. "I got your messages... and voicemails."

He didn't know how to respond. It was as if his body had gone straight into shock and he wouldn't be able to move for a while.

Then Grayson entered the doorway, his eyes connecting with his father's and his face lighting up.

“ 'Cause I need you to see That you are the reason ” 

"Daddy!"

• • • •

First 5SOS imagine done! 

• • • •

Masterlist | Request Here

[crewhonk]

We’ll Talk Tomorrow.

Word Count: 1,838

Warnings: Implied smut, Swearing, (a little bit of angst at the end?)

Pairings: Billy Hargrove X You

Summary: In the early stages of your relationship with the Keg King himself, you happen across information that may change things.

Masterlist 

When you parked next to Billy Hargrove in the spring of ’84 you never thought anything would come of it, but when you found him pummelling Tommy H. on the side of your 1970 Ford Escort you knew you’d finally have to interact with him.

“Stop, stop! What the hell do you to think you’re doing?!” Pulling the two apart, you glared at both of them. Billy, only four inches taller than you was breathing hard and was wiping away the blood that was falling into his eye. Tommy, who was half a foot taller than you, was already having bruised bloom across his face and his lips were cut in several different places because of the chunky rings Billy was wearing.

“He was talking to Carol behind my back.” Tommy snarled, stepping closer to you and jabbing a finger in the direction of his opponent.

“And you think beating Billy up is going to fix it?!” You replied, pushing him away from you with your pointer finger, “take a walk, Thomas.”

“But he had no right to be talk—“

“Take a walk. Thomas.” You said, staring him down until he rolled his eyes and turned on his heel. You had known him since you were little fetuses, and while you had never been close with him, your gentle nature forced people to listen to you when you put your foot down.

You heard a barking chuckle from Billy, and your head whipped towards him with a fire in your eyes. “You.” You growled, stalking up to him and stopping once you got toe-to-toe with the Alpha. “You had no right to beat his face in, you bastard. You were in the wrong. You had no right. We graduate in two months and then we’re being sent out into the real world where there is no detention and no second chances. Grow. Up.”

Since you had put Billy in his place, he couldn't stop thinking about you. He thought of the fire in your eyes, he thought how the power rolled off you in waves, and he thought how beautiful you and your spark would look on top of him. How much he would love to draw breathy moans from your throat, and how much he would love to make that fire spark in your eyes.

He could not stop thinking about you.

So when you walked past him without so much as a glance towards you, his eyes followed you until you were out of sight. They followed the way your hair bounced with every step, and the way your hips swayed, and GOD he wanted you and whatever he wanted, he got it. He pushed himself away from Tommy and Carol to follow you down the hall and when he got to your locker, he rested his hand above your head.

“Hey.” He crooned.

“Um… Hello?” You said, raising an eyebrow and continuing to grab books that you needed for the day ahead of you. You knew he had stopped focusing on girls, and you knew his eyes followed you through the halls, so while you weren’t too surprised when he approached you this morning it wasn’t something that you exactly wanted. “Can I help you?” You asked, sighing and leaning against your locker and looking at him through your lashes.

“You kill me, you know that Y/L/N?” He sighed, pushing your hair behind your ear and pulling lightly in your turquoise dangly earring. You waved his hand away and fluffed your hair back over your ear despite the burning in your cheeks.

“I’m honestly not.” You pushed past him and headed upstairs to your biology class. You knew he was following closely behind you, and you knew he was looking at your ass. “Take a picture dude, it’ll last longer.” You turned to him and glared down. He smiled widely and placed a hand on your hip, rubbing his thumb in circular motions.

“Could I, Doll?” You glared and slapped his hand away from you before bolting upstairs and losing him in the crowd.

Okay. The lost puppy tactic was growing on you, honestly. He followed you around the school and hung around the record shop you worked at, asking you questions about records you didn't even know existed. He brought you your favorite coffee (he found that out through your best friend who was so shocked that she couldn't even think of the word ‘no’) every other day. He was nothing but charming to you, and the people you cared about so when he asked you to be his prom date (he bumped up his grades from a D- to a solid B simply to impress you) you couldn’t help but smile widely.

“Green.” You grinned.

“What?” He blinked.

“My dress is emerald green, Bill.” You had never seen the boy smile so widely in your entire life.

“Tubular.”

“Excuse me?”

You found out Billy’s dark side when you told Nancy later that day when you were tutoring her in English. She said that in November they had gotten together for a Dungeons and Dragons session and while she and Jonathan left to pick up their Chinese food order Billy had dropped by and lost it on Steve when he found Max alone with him and the black boy, Lucas. He had pushed Lucas against one of the Byers bookshelves so hard that the boy had chipped his left shoulder blade. He then turned on Steve and beat him so much he was left with a swollen face and a concussion that put him out of school for a week. You had remembered seeing Steve on his first day back, and being so afraid for his well being that you actually had nightmares about it for three days after.

You didn't realize you had been crying until Nancy reached across the table and wiped away a tear from your cheek.

“Do you mind if we cut today short? I need to take care of something.” You whispered, stone-faced. She only nodded and you slammed your books shut, shoved them into your bag, and pushed your chair away when you stood up—making it scrape on the floor, leaving marks. Surely, the librarian would have your head (you and Nancy were here every Tuesday and Thursday in the same spot) but at this point, you were seeing red.

You stormed to your car and pulled out of the parking lot without even buckling yourself up into your seat. You sped through Hawkins, through the winding roads and swinging through the roads to avoid potholes that had been there for years. Unhinged, and unhinged and scary. Immature and how could you have not seen it. He was aggressive to everyone besides you and was kind to those you cared about (excluding Steve) just to.. to what? Get in your pants? You were a fool who was wearing rose-tinted glasses and it wasn’t fun anymore. You weren’t having fun.

You arrived sooner than you expected, and you glared at the house for about five minutes before you even thought about getting out of your car. When you did, you stomped up tot he door and banged the side your fist on his door until a sweaty Billy opened the door. Any other time you would be breathless and blushing at his wet skin and at the curls clinging to his face. He smelled like a man. Pure, unadulterated man. He had a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, which was curled into a seductive grin.

“You make me blush more than any other person in the state on Indiana. You make my heart race, and you make my stomach do The Thing. You follow me around like a puppy and it's charming and it makes me feel like there's a radiator in my chest. You make me feel like every other girl in the entire school and that’s not okay with me. It’s not okay with me because you're a horrible person. I don’t know what you're going through at home or in your head because you have this macho cardboard cutout you hold in front of yourself but whatever it is, it’s no excuse to be a racist asshole who breaks kids shoulder blades and beats in peoples faces. It’s not okay with me because I don't know who you are and I can’t start something with a stranger.” You said, face red and flustered.

“You know me, Kitten. You know me.” His voice broke.

“No, I don’t. It’s been two months and I haven't met your parents. I don’t know if you guys eat dinner together, or if you know how to throw a baseball. I don't know if you have family game nights, but how you talk about your sister I doubt it. I don't know where your mom is, or if you have a good relationship with your dad. I don't even know if you have a pet, or have ever had a pet. Do you have a fish? I wouldn't fucking know,” You punched his chest without any gusto and continued doing so until you started putting effort behind it.

“Kitten. Baby girl. Princess. Please.” he said grabbing your waist and pulling you towards him.  You resisted against hugging him but stepped closer to him nevertheless.

“What do you want from this?” You stepped away from him to motion between the two of you with your hand. “Have you just been leading me on to fuck me? Is that all you wanted? You thought I was just playing hard to get and- and you thought I was something to conquer? What do you want from this, Billy.” You whimpered, leaning against the post of the porch and staring at your feet.

“I’m not good at this.” He said after a moment of silence. You looked up at him. “I’m not good at relationships. I don’t have a good relationship with my family. I don't have good relationships with girls and I don't have good relationships with any of my friends. The only good relationship I’ve ever had was with my—“ He took a breath and stepped closer. He put a hand up to your neck and swiped his hand across your cheek. “I’m scared I’m going to fuck this up. I really like you and it makes me feel like a little preschooler and I don’t know, baby. It started out with wanting your body. And then you started giving me the time of day and something changed. When we were having milkshakes it was the first time I wanted someone to stick around— and yeah. I’m an asshole. I’m racist, and I’m a dickhead who doesn’t handle emotions because I haven't had any good influences in my life.” He whimpered.

“That doesn’t excuse your behavior, Billy.” You sighed, leaning into his hand.

“I know, but that was old me. That was November me and now it’s June and we’re graduating in two weeks and I really like you, Y/N.”

“I need to think, okay? Please.”

“Kitten—“

“Please.” You whispered, turning away and walking to your car.

[eco-lily]

A Trip Down Memory Lane...

A mass of paperwork sat neatly piled at the corner, stacked high and awaiting reviewing. Another pile, precisely rolled cables stood at the opposite side of the large wooden desk. A laptop, centered before young Lily, with fingers poised upon keys. The typing had stopped -mid email- as her mind mulled over what to say.

New York City was a treat, really. In every aspect of the word, sarcastic and not. The train ride in the mornings, when Morgane was unable to give her a ride, was a desolate petri dish of unwanted contact. Finding a quiet place to read was nearly impossible with her morning green tea.

'New York? That city is crime ridden!'

Perhaps, it was. Yet, there was a hope there. California had once been the highest ranking polluters in the United States. NYC a close second, until Cali changes their ways. The city was begging for help, screaming at the top of its lungs from littered streets. Lily knew, a way of change was to get into the midst of the problem. To work from the inside out.

'You will continue being a lady, and not a harlot!'

Pale fingers shook, momentarily itching from the echoing words of memories passed. The last conversation that had happened just a year before resonating from the walls she often kept closed. Guarded around the teachings, and constant strive for perfection.

'You are a McKinney, and will do well to know your place and station, Lily.'

"Of course, Nana.." A whisper, above an empty email message. What could she say?

'I'm not Ruby. I know who I am, and what I want.'

No, Lily was not her sister. The one who would find any way into a fight. Kicking, spitting, hissing her way through life like she couldn't contain the amount of frustration in her veins. How often had Lily gotten a phone call from the fifteen minutes older twin?

'Hey, baby girl! Need a favor! Can you post my bond?'

'I need information on a John Doe. Use your wonderful skills?'

How could she say no? When family presses so closely to ones heart. How often the suffocation pressed to that organ, and gave it a good squeeze. Stifling her veins, pushing her towards loyalty and pulling to loathing. How often a grandmother praised Lily for her successes, and also expected more;

'Cross your ankles. Knees together. Back straight.'

Perfection that often spilled through daily life. In the form of color coded wardrobes, and plastic hangers. Never those cheap metallic ones, oh no. Those could ruin a blouse.

'Be kind, and courteous. You are a lady, and I dont want to see anything less of a McKinney.'

But, what of those holidays? The ones where they often sat around an oak table. Holding hands, and giving thanks to the God her grandmother believed in so wholeheartedly. The Christmas cookies that warmed bellies, and hearts that stitched the pieces together in Hope. Two tiny tots that ran gallantly through wildflowers, in pristine white dresses on Sunday mornings. Picking daisies, and catching toads that sat too close to the creeks.

They had been tainted in puberty, Lily was sure of it. When being a young woman was more important than testing the boundaries of being a woman.

' Lily, I don't want to have to explain why a young woman skirts should never be above the thigh. These shorts.. way too short. Take them back.'

Don't you dare show too much skin. Don't allow a man to touch you. Don't even think about a low cut blouse. This is the nineteen thirties, you are to be the best woman you can be. Pack that casserole book, ladies, you're going to need it. Don't forget the apron!

Lily's body slipped backwards, falling to the bed. A mass of dark hair spilling about her pale face, as her heart and mind continued the constant battle.

Be a better woman. Be the best woman you can be.

'Accent your eyes, Lil. You have beautiful eyes. Such a wonderful pair of lips, too. That flawless skin.. You will be the envy of your class!'

It wasn't what she had wanted. Right? Past the teachings of an elderly woman clearly stuck in her ways, and trying to raise two orphaned girls. What would you do, in the grandmothers shoes? Allow them to run the streets at night, instead of practicing ettique and verbal que. How to sew a button, and drive a stick shift. How to polish shoes, and iron slacks.

Instead of those late nights snuck out of the house, to skinny dip into the lakes with boys that often smoked cigarettes. Being pushed to the limit of teenage rebellion, with Ruby. Not only because of the thrill, but to keep each other sane. To feel the wind under wings that often wished to stretch and find freedom.

Her emerald eyes turned towards the laptop, to the neatly and size escalating books that lined the shelves. To the photographs that hung on walls of previous friends, from a previous time in her life. To the sister that had often found freedom in all the wrong ways.

Then, they shifted to the hall. Past the door, where another sat. With hair pulled into a ponytail, hairband across her head. So often Morgane was seen doing her research, for whatever she had found interesting at that point in time. It was often hard to keep up with the woman's attention span.

Sticky notes, papers, books, coffee mugs, and the occasional snack bag laid over the desk and floors. Care free, despite Lily's sudden inner turmoil. How two worlds, with two different people, had come crashing into her.

How the scientist had furrowed her brows at the mess, before turning a gaze to the ceiling. How does one explain to a grandmother why they hadn't called in three weeks? Hadn't sent a single text message, or listened to the voicemails.

Trying to distance herself from the reprimand, while also clinging to the feeling of love.

It was then, a soft lullaby was heard. A ringing from a phone that had been settled into the pocket of her slacks. The screen was pushed to the eyes, a deep frown upon her face as Lily watched the call come in.

A swipe.

A deep breath was held.

"Lily? Oh, God, Child.. I miss you."

It was choked out, tears catching the voice of an elderly woman.

"I'm sorry.."

"For what, darlin'?"

"That I didn't call. And I didn't post Ruby's bail.."

"Lily... Oh, baby girl.."

Here it comes. That disappointment that would be a nail into her coffin. She hadn't done what Ruby wanted. What her grandmother had deemed the right thing to do; because of family.

"Ruby's gonna be okay, hun. She isn't upset, and I'm not either. Don't be sorry. I'm just happy to hear your voice, baby girl."

Tears welled into her vision, pulling unnecessary emotions to the surface of her worry. Lily was far from perfect. Her family was far from perfect. Striving for it was like striving for failure. It was a relief, that exited her lungs in a sob.

"Are you crying? Oh, Lord, don't cry! Uh.. Tell me about that job you love so much. Tell me about that cute boy who works in I.T. "

Laughter. It came suddenly, through the waterworks. Before the flickering lights of her heart began to bloom. No, they weren't perfect. They had issues, and many of those shifted so often into everything the young woman did. To be accepted, and loved. Wanted in places she wasn't wanted, to begin with. Her grandmother had instilled many doubts, yet.. Also many good ideals.

This was a woman's world. Strive to be the best woman possible.

"He's... Still in I.T. and still as cute as ever."

"Has he asked you out? Be respectful of those choices, young lady."

"No, Nana. We barely see each other. He's passing eye candy.."

"You are not getting any younger, and neither am I. I would like great grandchildren!"

Oh, God. "Nana!"

It was shouted, so loudly, that a pair of eyes zoned in on Lily. Who quickly gave a hand signal, a universal one of; 'I'm okay!' To Morgane from her room.

No. No one's perfect.

[ofdanny]

mmmk so hi !! i’m taylor, i go by she/her pronouns, and i am very very excited to be here. my two muses are danny and todd and i’m not very good at these posts ?? and i also kind of don’t like them so lets just dive right into this, yay !!

HELLO my name is ( DANIEL HARTLEY ). people often mistake me for ( DYLAN O'BRIEN ). i find this very silly but people also tell me i’m ( EASY-GOING ) and ( APATHETIC ). i am born in ( MEDFORD, OREGON ) but i now live in ( SEATTLE, WASHINGTON ). if there’s one song that describes me the most it’d have to be ( WEEKEND by MAC MILLER ). — ( taylor, 19, est, she/her )

to say the least daniel was a surprise to his parents. they had no desire to have kids, but the only plus to him was that he just so happened to be a bouncing baby boy, and his father saw an opportunity to keep the company alive. as a child the only parental guidance he ever received was from his caregiver and homeschool teacher, ana— walking, potty training, puberty, his first kiss… ana was there for him through all of it.

his parents never gave him much attention outside considering they were too busy living their best lives as one of the most well-loved power couples. of course, it hurt him but ana eased the pain. the only time he received any actual attention from his mother was when his father would be working late and little four-year-old danny would walk into his parents room to find his mom. she’d let him brush her long, dark hair, or sing to him when she was in an exceptionally good mood some nights, or listen to him play the piano ( which he was learning at the time ) — those few evenings are engraved in his mind, his love for his mother growing with every short-ended second he spent with her. 

when daniel was thirteen his father told him that he was the heir of the greatest company of all time. to a normal, tween kid this would have sounded like a dream. but daniel loathed even the thought of it.when he was sixteen when his mom left him and his dad without any warning, and the reason for her leaving…? danny has no clue. he wasn’t very involved with his parents when he grew past the age of eight. ana was all he needed to an extent. 

due to his mothers disappearance his father kind of went off the deep end— anger issues, drinking, sleeping with other women. the communications technologies company that his father owned held it’s own for the time being until his father got back on his feet. that’s also when they up and officially settled in new york rather than switching between oregon and new york. all of this would have left danny unphased until his father fired ana out of spite, merely because he saw daniel was fine while he was drowning in sorrow. that’s when things started to go south for hartley. 

he had started to resent his father, his mother, and this posh lifestyle. he started to fight with people in public places, affecting his fathers reputation. he blew off every other new teacher that came in to teach him ( even though, eventually, he finally let up and is learning about business— his fathers wishes, of course. ), and he practically formed an unhealthy habit of spiraling, using booze and alcohol to help drink himself into incoherence. the only thing that helps clear his head is when he plays the piano, and he plays it well considering he mastered it at a young age.

nowadays, his father has him attend meetings and consistently tries to convince him to embrace the wealth and the power he may gain one day, but the discussion always ends in one of them red-faced, steam coming out of their ears. as said before, daniel hates this lifestyle. he never asked for the riches or the power, and he certainly doesn’t want it. you’d think he’d want love and affection, but he’s gone without it for so long that he no longer has a the cravings for it. he has very little for friends, and he prefers to keep to himself. he will purposefully hurt your feelings if you don’t leave him alone when he wants you to, and he won’t think twice about verbally abusing you, hitting your insecurities and things of the sort.

long story short, daniel is 23 years old. he’s very sarcastic, very dead-pan, and if you catch him on a bad day? he’s not nice, and he’s very hard to get along with so good fucking luck loldanny came back to oregon because his father said ‘it’d be good for him to gain some perspective’, but in reality he knew his father just didn’t want to take the time off of work and the thought of coming back to the place where he and his mother were once still together is… catastrophic. daniel didn’t fight against his dad wishes to come to the cabin. although, he also hates how nostalgic the place is. all in all, danny is just here to it in a corner and drink tbh

WANTED CONNECTIONS  ;

long lost friends - he gets to the cabins and runs into someone who looks familiar. turns out it’s his old buddie from when he was just a tot !! and wow you’ve changed kind of and shit daniel you’re still a dick huh lol

drinking buddies - the pair always meet at the same time on the same day, unspokenly, and it slowly grows from causal bar talk from across the counter to them pouring their souls out to each other and laughing until they crY ok how cute i stan

frenemies - the typical banter on these two is expected from everyone around, and at times they may cross the line with their horrid words and degrading insults but in the end they always result to tough love. but, god forbid one of them get’s too mushy with the other… they’d never live it down.

twisted - as toxic as they seem the pair always seem to end up together… in bed… naked. they are so wrong for each other that anybody could take one look at them and know that they wouldn’t last a day. but, somehow, they always manage to sex it out with no strings attached despite the screaming and the infuriating words they say to one another. they are perfectly wrong for each other and they both hate and love it at the same time. but how much longer can they keep this up…?  

HELLO my name is ( TODDERIC TENNER ). people often mistake me for ( THEO JAMES ). i find this very silly but people also tell me i’m ( AFFABLE ) and ( MANIPULATIVE ). i am born in ( MEDFORD, OREGON ) but i now live in ( NAPA, CALIFORNIA ). if there’s one song that describes me the most it’d have to be ( VOICES IN MY HEAD / STICK TO THE PLAN by BIG SEAN ). — ( taylor, 19, est, she/her )

when todd was pretty young he moved from foster house to foster house pretty much until his adopted father found him ( more on that later ). the story is that as a baby, todd was left at child services doorstep so tbh no one has a clUe who his parents are. • his history is the typical sob story of hating every home he moved to bc the people who took him in didn't want him in their home bc he was too problematic  and a "bad influence on their other children". he was just a very angry kid honestly • all that being said, when he was 15 he left the family he was supposed to stay with for another week or so but he honestly couldn't take being around that family anymore so he packed his backpack with the three pieces of clothes he had and left. he didn't know where he was going but when he turned into a dark alley he found two men beating and stomping another man nearly to death. like any kid with the least bit of common sense he turned around and legged it only to run into what felt like a wall but was a man three times his height.

long story short they dragged him back to their headquarters and pondered on whether or not they should just kill him or let him stick around. the man who was three times his height spoke up and they decided to keep him to help with operations.

all in all, Todd was adopted into this huge ass drug industry and was adopted by the super tall man who turned out to be basically this really big drug lord who wanted a son and found one yay !!

so todd basically learned how to lie, scheme, steal, fight, intimidate... pretty much a bunch of negative traits and he was great at it. he didn't like it but he simply did as he was told.

todd's now 27 and on a job that was supposed to be an easy pick up and dip out but it turned out to be a fucked drop bc the feds came and they caught todd and he was immediately put in prison but they soon let him out because they somehow could pin any hard evidence against him so he's now a free man rip

after that whole shabang todd took it upon himself to ditch the whole gang lifestyle and create a life for himself. he got on a bus and hit the road from oregon to california, using the money he made and saved from the past jobs to buy himself a comfortable house in napa and now he sells wine :)

he figured his old gang would come for him but they haven't yet and he isn't going to complain about it either. he's keeling his head low and staying quiet for the time being.

in reference to coming back to oregon is interesting bc after settling down in napa he went on a search for his parents only to find out that his father died in a car crash ten years back and his mother supposedly passed with him too, but they never found the body.

his father had a will written out though and in it stated that there was a house oregon that was left for todd and with it was a note with a simple apology, that hardly explained anything about why they abandoned todd and who they were, and an address that belonged to the cabins

todd is only here to find more information on his parents and history. ( wanted connection: maybe someone who knew his parents ? maybe someone else's parents knew his parents, recognized the name and "i'm so sorry for your loss...."

now his personality? he seems like a typical guy. he keeps to himself most of the time. since he's on a mission to find information he won't be afraid to use someone to get what he wants. if you get in his way he'll find a way around you or a way to move you. simple as that.

WANTED CONNECTIONS ;

roomies - todd and his roommate soon become acquaintances but it’s open for pretty much anything ? todd doesn’t truat anyone so maybe they sOMehow gain his trust and he lets them help find clues or information ? idk lets talk omg

use me - they’re friends but then again they’re not. lovers? yes and no. either way, the sex is great and when either is feeling stressed or sad or whatever the feeling, they text / call each other up and “my place or yours?”

you knew my parents ...?! ( this could potentially include multiple muses !! ) - todd is only here by chance and he is desperate to know who his parents were. one would think finding information would be hard, but the minute he mutters “tenner.” at check-in, some stranger places their hand on his back and whispers “i’m so sorry for your loss...”

  okay !! so this is very general and informal i'm sorry if it wasn't clear ?? if you have any questions or anything of the sort please feel free to ask !! ask me anything pls ill spill my guts to you. also i may be adding more wanted connections over time so please click here just in case i add more mmmk. again, ( i’ll keep saying this ) i’m thrilled to be here h2gkmo

[scipunk63]

The Devils Went Down to California

(Its still @forduary, but this prompt focuses on remembering Ford.)

Summary: Stan attends a family reunion, just 12 years shy of having his twin back.

.

Gravity Falls to California wasn't a horrible drive, especially when you have a lot to think about while driving. The landscapes are beautiful and quiet, and you know when you're at your destination when you first hear the sounds of city life stirring to welcome you. Waves that were too rough for the Stan-O-War would crash on soft sanded beaches, and the morning sun just barely hits your windshield hard enough to blind you-

Stan hated all of it.

"Dang it, Sherm- Why did everyone have to move HERE? It's not like they were banned from Jersey-" Stan grumbled, pushing his rode map down and furiously search street signs for SOMETHING that sounded about right.

Part of him felt pretty stupid for not accepting Shermie's offer. The one that involved a paid, round trip bus ticket and a 20 minute ride from the station and back after the trip was over. It would have been less of a hassle for both parties that way- but it wasn't something Stanford Pines would have done. Stanford Pines wouldn't trust a public transit, and would insist on driving the whole way.

He did the same thing when he moved to the Falls, after all. Stanley knew that much was true. Banned from the family or no, he still kept tabs on them, no matter where in the world they went in their lives.

"Okay- 1243 Oak Lawn..." Stan said, "This must be the place."

Pulling up along the curb, he stopped to take in the house before him. It was a nice, strong structure with a faded, sky blue, wood finish. On the front porch, he could see his brother settled in a porch swing. Sherm's face hadn't aged well, but he had a certain happiness about him and that was all Stanley could wish for. His brother must've been sleeping, because the hord of children and teenagers and family that rushed out of the house suddenly didn't seem to bother him much.

"Heh... Sherm always could sleep through anything." Stan mused, getting out of his car and gathering up the bags of presents he had brought with.

While he knew he had nieces and nephews, he didn't know how many of each or what age. So he figured that T-shirts and assorted baseball caps would suit everyone. A little something from the Falls that didn't break his bank or require him to actually speak to his family.

"Alright-" He was cut off by a round of crushing hugs and a flurry of "Uncle Stans!". Had it not been almost overwhelming, he would have thought it was nice.

"Give him some air!" He heard Shirley cry. "Someone go wake Sherman and get the babies- Wheres Ma?"

"Heh, it's fine, sis." Stan said, fighting his way through the crowd. "I'll see everyone eventually."

Eventually, he did manage his way to the stairs, handing a few gifts off to- Well, he would figure out which half of the family was Sherman and his wife's and which half was Shirley and her husband's later. They were all Pines, he knew that much was for certain. And he knew the weird looking old man was his brother.

He took a seat beside him and nudged him. Sherman jerked awake and fumbled to fix his glasses.

"Hey, Sherm." Stan said, "How's it going?"

"... I wasn't sleeping." Sherman gasped, his voice far away. A smile suddenly tugged at the corners of his face. "Don't tell Shirl. She's worse than my wife."

"I won't." Stan laughed, looking out at the mass of family now in their Falls gear. "How's the family? It just gets bigger every year... Can't keep up anymore."

"Good... Miles and Patty's twins are- I think one now..." Sherman muttered, searching the crowd breifly. "Mason and Mabel."

"They're one." Stan confirmed. "I can't believe it- Seems like they were born just yesturday."

"- And my daughter went back to the hospital the other day for her kidneys- And Miles just started at a tech company." Sherman said, ignoring Stan for a moment. "Shirley's brood are all in college now... The three of them."

"Sherm, I don't need everyone's story." Stan cut in. "I'll catch up with everyone later."

"You say that, then no one hears from you, Stanley!" The con-man felt his blood run cold.

"N-no, Sherm, I'm Stan-FORD."

"And I'm the Queen of England." Sherman scoffed. "My mind may be going, but I'm a Pines. You can't con a con. I've known since you came to my grandchildren's birth missing two fingers!"

"... You're taking it pretty well then." Stan sighed. "Does anyone else know?"

"Stan, I don't care... I've got my family and my kids around me... Not going to question a good thing." Sherman shrugged. "And our girls know, but that's about it."

Stanley frowned, looking back into the crowd of family. All were so happy to see him but, they were all so blissfully unaware of the secret that laid within their own brood. Though, if they did know, they were pretty good at hiding it from him. They probably got that ability from one of two people missing from the party.

"... Did dad know?" Stan asked.

"... He never would've let you into the hospital if he did." Sherman sighed. "Really wish you two made up before it was too late."

"Yeah, but dad wasn't the forgiving type."

"I wasn't talking about dad- Dad got over what happened years ago, he just wouldn't admit it." He frowned.

"... Sherm- If you knew all this then why did you wait until now to tell me?" Stan asked.

"Last chance to do it." Sherman said, slowly rising from his chair. "I'm gonna get a beer. Want one?"

A silence hung between the pair as Stan took in his brother's words. He almost had to admire him for taking things as was, and now he understood how he managed it. Sherm had the chance to be happy, so he was taking it. Maybe he was taking it for the last time. Just surrounded by his family, no secrets between them and apologies out of the way. Maybe it was something Stan could try out?

"I got it- Gives me a chance to see the twins." Stan said, rising up quickly.

"In the livingroom with Ma." Sherm called over his shoulder. "Go on then."

Stan smiled and made his way into the house and made a b-line for the livingroom to see his favorite people. He instantly saw his Ma, who aged much better than his brother, with two little tots on her lap. They were both playing tug of war with her beaded necklace, and she didn't seem to mind at all.

"And your father wa-" She stopped mid story to look up at her son. "Stanford! Hello, dear. Come sit."

From years of taking orders from her, Stan automatically hurried to do as she asked. He took a seat beside her, and took Mabel from her to lighten her load. Mabel giggled happily and hugged him in greeting.

"I think we might've found her favorite." Ma said. "You should've heard her asking for you earlier."

"Ma, she's 1. She can't ask for anything." Stan laughed.

"Just hush and enjoy them. They're going to need someone to spoil them when they're older." Ma pouted.

"Ma, what makes you think it'll be me?" He frowned. "I-"

He stopped, and noticed his mother's face drop. Her true age showed in the wrinkles around her eyes and mouth. Ones that only grew the more she cried and frowned with them. Every phone call he had ignored from her, and every family event he purposefully missed out on... Heck, he wasn't even going to come to this gathering if it didn't first hear that Sherman was sick again! His comment probably made it sound like he, his mother's soon to be last living son, planned on dropping out of the loop again.

"I... I don't know what kids like." He lied quickly. "Shirley knows that kind of stuff. She'll be the one who spoils them... I'll just- Rebuild that boat of mine and take them fishing."

The look of relief that washed over her face almost moved Stan to tears.

"Thank you, Stanford..." She said softly, wrapping her arms around the three of them.

"Ma- Its Sta-"

Her grip tightened on him.

"I know, sweetheart..."

Stan sighed, wrapping his bigger arms around her thin frame. Holding the three of them just like his mom used to hold him and his siblings. At the time, she felt like the safest place to him- and now he guessed it was his turn to take up the mantel. He already took up the role of Stanford- he'd have to take up Sherman's when the time came. So what was one more role in a sea of them? At least these ones meant something to someone.

"I'm so sorry, Stan- for everything you've been through." Ma began, her voice hushed. "With your father and your brothers and me-"

"Ma... I'm not going to think about it anymore." Stan sighed. "I've got my family around me now. I'm not going to question a good thing. Or something along those lines."

She nodded her head, and then rested it against Stan's arm. Not that it felt like much to him. He had greater weights on him before, but that was something he didn't need to think about. All those years aside, he finally had his family and a life that was worth continuing on. Not just for himself, but for the brother he would hopefully get back one day. Hopefully soon enough that he'd get to see Sherman, and the family, and sail those stupid waves they'd pass by as they made their way to the next reunion. Hopefully.

Hopefully he'd get to shed a mantel and just be Stanley again.

"Stan!" Mabel whined, patting his face. "STAN!"

Breaking from his thoughts, he looked at his precious girl and smiled. He wasn't going to think about things now. He had time still. Time to before he had to change quickly.

[almostafantasia]

@raccoonhearteyes said “imagine clexa with a baby” so i did and i ended up writing this little thing...

When Lexa returns to Polis after a four day trip to investigate reports of bandits raiding villages in the east, Clarke does not expect her to be cradling an infant in her arms, wrapped up in the soft red material of the sash that normally hangs from the pauldron on her left shoulder.

“Lexa, what the hell is that?”

Lexa looks down at the bundle in her arms, brushing the back of one gloved finger across the sleeping baby’s cheek, before answering, “It’s a baby.”

Clarke sighs, and then says, “I can see that. I meant, what are you doing with a baby?”

“We found her in the woods not too far from a village that had burned to the ground,” Lexa informs her. “There was no sign of her mother. We couldn’t just leave her there.”

“What’s going to happen to her?”

“We’ll find her some new parents. There will be somebody in this city who can offer her a good home. But until then, we’ll have to keep her in the tower.”

Clarke peers down for a closer look at the infant, who sleeps soundly in the comfort of Lexa’s arms, and wrinkles her nose up. Sure, the child is cute enough, with chubby cheeks and tufts of dark hair on its tiny head, but it’s still a baby and while it may be sleeping now, Clarke knows that its slumber won’t last forever and then it will be back to pooping and screaming and whatever else it is that babies do.

She can only hope that Lexa manages to pass the baby on to the relevant people before he baby wakes.

…

When Lexa said that the baby would be living in the tower until she could move to a new home, Clarke did not realise that the baby would be living in their quarters. Clarke has absolutely no say in the matter when two of Lexa’s guards bring a small wooden crib filled with blankets and set it up in the corner of their bedroom, and when she opens her mouth to protest, she can only close it again because Lexa, who is sitting on the edge of their bed feeding the infant milk through a bottle and speaking to it in hushed Trigedasleng, is clearly smitten by the tot and Clarke can’t find the malice within her to burst that bubble.

Much later that night, long after the candles have been snuffed out and the only light in the bedroom is the silvery moonlight that filters through the window from outside, Clarke learns that babies can cry a lot louder than she thought they could.

“Lexa!” Clarke hisses, rolling onto her back with a huff as a wail rips through the silence of their bedroom for the third time since they lay down for the night. “It’s crying again. Sort it out.”

Lexa peels back the furs and pads across the room, lifting the baby from the cot with gentle hands and holding it tight to her chest. She paces back and forth, rocking and hushing the baby as she moves, until the cries quieten down into silence once more.

“You don’t like her, do you?” Lexa’s voice softly speaks up from the other side of the room.

Clarke’s eyes flicker down to the baby in Lexa’s arms and she shrugs.

“I like sleep,” she tells Lexa. “I don’t like things that disturb my sleep.”

Lexa looks up from the baby in her arms and arches an eyebrow at Clarke, and Clarke hates how she knows exactly what the little smile pushing at the corner of Lexa’s lips is insinuating.

Which brings Clarke to another reason for her dislike of the baby. She enjoys sex, and while Lexa’s return from a trip out of the city would normally be celebrated several rather vigorous rounds of lovemaking throughout the night, something that Clarke is often very willing to sacrifice her precious sleep for, there is no way that Clarke is going to initiate something like that while a baby sleeps on the other side of their bedroom.

“Come back to bed,” Clarke calls across the bedroom, before she promptly rolls over and cocoons herself in the warmth of the furs that cover their large bed.

Lexa doesn’t respond to Clarke’s summons immediately, staying with the baby as she continues to rock it back to sleep, by which time Clarke has almost dozed off too. She’s aware of a dip in the bed as Lexa climbs back beneath the covers, and cuddles into the new warmth beside her sleepily, before she falls asleep completely with Lexa’s arms around her.

…

Clarke isn’t sure whether daycare in Polis is hard to find or whether it is Lexa’s choice to forgo a babysitter. Whichever one it is, it has led them to this moment, to Lexa standing at the front of a room filled with some of her most trusted advisors and leaders, discussing solutions to the raiding problem while a tiny infant is nestled against her chest in a baby-carrier that Lexa has fashioned out of a spare piece of fabric.

Clarke doesn’t like the baby, but she’s decided that she likes Lexa with the baby. Lexa has a natural maternal instinct that probably comes from years of teaching the young nightbloods, but what this really boils down to is that seeing the fearsome Commander of the thirteen clans with a baby strapped to her chest is sparking a need deep in Clarke’s loins that can only be an evolutionary mating instinct to procreate with the love of her life.

It’s incredibly distracting.

“What say you, Clarke kom Skaikru?”

Clarke jolts to attention as Lexa says her name, only to find that every pair of eyes in the room is bearing down on her, waiting for an answer to a question that Clarke didn’t listen to.

“Sorry,” she mumbles apologetically. “What was that?”

“Skaikru have reported trouble near to Arkadia,” Lexa repeats for Clarke’s benefit. “How is your Chancellor responding to these problems?”

Clarke reels off an answer, paraphrasing things that her mom told her during her last official visit to Arkadia, and hoping that it satisfactorily answers Lexa’s question. She stumbles over her words halfway through, distracted by the way the baby nestled against Lexa’s chest starts whining. Or rather, she is distracted by the way that Lexa tends to the baby when it starts whining, rocking up and down and hushing the baby whilst still paying absolute attention to everything that Clarke is saying.

Clarke finishes her answer, aware that she hasn’t really contributed anything useful to the discussion, but thankfully two of the other ambassadors jump in and start bouncing ideas back and forth between them.

Despite her dislike of small children, especially this particular baby, which kept her up most of the night with its cries and has left her feeling more sleep-deprived than she would like to be for important meetings with Lexa and the other ambassadors, Clarke finds herself staring at the way that Lexa pays full attention to the discussion taking place whilst absently cradling the baby’s head through the material of the sling that carries it, and dreams of a time in the far off future where it might be their child that Lexa holds tight to her chest.

The thought terrifies Clarke at first, but then it envelops her like a warm hug and leaves her feeling oddly comforted.

…

Lexa announces that a new home has been found for the infant shortly after they share dinner in their private rooms at the top of the tower. Clarke is relieved that she doesn’t need to go another night without proper sleep, but internally mourns the loss of being able to watch Lexa’s natural motherly instincts.

Lexa is understandably sad to watch the baby go (Clarke swears that she sees tears in Lexa’s eyes but they are blinked away before she can comment on it) and Clarke consoles her in the best way that she knows.

“Do you want children of your own?” Clarke asks, tracing her fingers up and down Lexa’s naked spine after a second round of helping Lexa to forget the baby that she became so fond of in just a single day.

“I’m not sure,” Lexa answers, her eyes blinking open lazily to look at Clarke. She pauses, then admits honestly, “I would love to be a mother, but raising a child would impede on my job as Commander. I cannot serve my people well if I’m also looking after an infant.”

“You seemed to manage today.”

Lexa makes a non-committal noise, her brows furrowing together as she loses herself deep in thought. Clarke can’t even begin to guess what Lexa is thinking about, so she leaves her to her thoughts, trailing delicate patterns along the skin on display in front of her with no real purpose.

“Do you want children?” Lexa asks suddenly.

“I didn’t,” Clarke answer truthfully. “Well, I’ve always been indifferent to the idea of parenthood, and I’m not going to have children unless it’s something that I absolutely want. But then I saw you with that baby and now I want, like, ten.”

Lexa’s eyes widen, and she asks, “Really?”

“You’d make a good mother, Lexa,” Clarke assures her, letting her exploratory fingers rest and draping her arm around Lexa’s slim waist. “Maybe someday, when the world is a little more at peace, you’ll have that chance.”

“Someday,” Lexa hums in agreement.

“As for now…” Clarke rolls Lexa onto her back in one deft movement and sits across the brunette’s hips, her palms riding up Lexa’s ribcage and over the swell of her breasts, before resting them on Lexa’s shoulders. Leaning down, Clarke takes Lexa’s earlobe between her teeth and pulls until Lexa lets out a sharp gasp, then whispers, “Let’s make a baby.”

Clarke nuzzles her face into Lexa’s neck as she sends one of her hands back down Lexa’s stomach between their bodies, fingers darting down through a dark patch of neat hair before they dip between Lexa’s thighs.

“I don’t know what they taught you about reproduction on the Ark,” Lexa says, her breath hitching as Clarke’s fingers dip into wet heat, “but that’s not how it works.”

Clarke’s laughter ripples from her chest, through her throat, and fills the dark bedroom with its honeyed warmth as she replies, “Sure it is.”

[kote-the-inn-keeper]

All in read below because it will be long, as always with this kind of reading thing!

Indented things go with that is above it!

Part one! This may be kinda short due to having other commitments today!

Immediately, the writing is already different from the main books. There are phrases instead of sentences -- very Auri.

     “Yes. She was quite sure of it... A long time. A long for waiting...” (pg 1)

Auri took note that nothing had changed in the night, and it was good it hadn’t. his leads me to believe that animals or something comes around and moves/takes things.

She also has semi-personified a light / light source: giving it a name and almost a personality by the way the light shines and grows. Also calling the light he. 

     Probably due to being alone and needing company. 

     What does she have? Possibly from the alchemy section of the school???

     Foxen a random name, or a name of someone she once knew?

She’s also very careful with her belongings (blanket) and keeping them neat even though she is not in a very neat space. Carry over of before living under the university?

Auri has a room like space in the underthings. A bed, chair, and even a fireplace in the space. It has a mantel as well.

Says there are three ways out of The Mantel: Door (which she doesn’t like taking), Hallway, and Doorway.

     Doorway leads to Port.

Port is usually busy in some manner.

     Has a wine rack in there.

         Half a broken plate, leather octavo book, a pair of corks, tiny ball of twine. And a personified teacup (said to be ‘he’).

Auri envies patients, as said when talking about the teacup and plate.

Shelves in this room as well. A wall shelf actually. 

     Blob of yellow resin in a dish, a black rock, a grey stone, and a smooth piece of wood. Tiny bottle away from those, open.

Central table in there.

     Holly berries on a clean white cloth.

Is a very clean person, washing up in her room. Personal preference prolly, even though she doesn’t wear shoes.

Wears a night dress and puts it away neatly.

Her fav dress is the one “he” gave her aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

Goes through Port to a crack in the wall.

     Leads to Van -- tall room w/straight white walls.

          Empty cept a standing mirror

Does brush hair + owns a bristle brush 

     Hair gets tangled from sleep

Rubic described to be a sprawling maze

     Assuming it’s connected to Van since she skipped there

     Had to find s copper pipe with the right kind of cloth on it

     Red brick tunnels -- about half a mile

     Many other pipes along the way

OMG CALLED A PIPE RUDE FOR TURNING INTO A WALL AAAAAAAAAAAAAA CUTE

     Tiny tin ones

     Icy burnished steel ones were ‘too new’

     Iron pipes

        “so egar as to almost be embarrassing” aURI PLEASE

     Iron pipes wrappings all cotton

        Calls them a trouble?????

     Fat ceramic pipe 

        Followed to a linen wrap that hung loose

Took the cloth, careful not to tear it

Went through Umbrel -- assuming it’s after Rubic due to timing

Down down into The Twelve after Umbrel 

Twelve a rare changing place 

     Not always safe or kind there

        High archways, sunlight gets in from here, grates above

         Pipes, support beams, wood walk ways present in this place! Can hear street noises as well!! 

                Hears hooves against cobblestone, wagons, crying from a baby, voices echoing 

Yellow Twelve

     Another place in The Twelve?????????

     Long deep pool with water

     Pipes under the water

Not pleased with the bottles against the waterside, so she runs back to the Mantel to get a ‘proper’ one.

Port also leads to Withy, upward.

Spiraling stairs to Darkhouse; down.

     Leads to Clinks

Clinks has roiling pool of black water that swallows the base of the stairs of Darkhouse.

Back up the stairs and through Vaults

     “For a change of air”

Deep fissures in the floor in Vaults! -- 3 to be exact 

Leads back to The Yellow Twelve

Auri CAN swim.

     Refuses to swim in her nice dress

“nekkid” pat why this word im laughing. I literallyddin’t know that that was a legitimate way of saying naked. Maybe he used it because it is more gentle and soft to read? I don’t know, but it made me giggle cause the spelling.

Oh she can look underwater too!!

      I can’t open my eyes underwater :( it’s such a cool skill tbh

Auri feels small without her hair being it’s usual halo

Auri is canonly small

     “was as tiny as an urchin begging on the streets” (pg 11)

     “...was thin as thin.” (pg 11)

     “her cheekbones high and delicate. Her collarbones pressed tight against her skin.” (pg 11)

Auri can swim very well, and understand pressure.

Auri knows bones. Perhaps someone who studied in the medica????

     Found a prima axial of an arm.

      Knew it had been broken at some point, but healed long ago.

Awww auri kissed the smol snail in apology for bothering him!!!

The water is REALLY cold -- alrady making Auri’s lips tinge blue

Called lungs “dumb things” cause they wanted air omg.

oH NO FOXEN COME BACK

Auri is intense.... She fears losing whatever she found more than her literally starting to drown.

She found a huge ass gear made of brass.

yAY FOXEN MADE IT BACK

Went back to clinks to clean off the water

Cake soap -- Smells like cinnas fruit and summer

Clinks leads to Tenners

     Not the quickest way, but didn’t want to go through Dunnings nekkid

Tenners leads tot he corner into Bakers

Pipes on the walls too hot to stand too sometimes -- so they are in use pipes from city or university????

Bricks around were really hot as well from constant heat

Uses central table in Port to sort out her founds goods!

Buckle found in diving session debated to give to “him”

     “he WAS a tangled sort” omg auri 

     Decided against it

Her dress has a pocket on it!!!

Auri likes to place things in proper places, taking her time to find the right homes for them in Port. Couldn’t quite find the proper spot for the gear yet.

Takes key with her to find the proper door for it

----- End of part one for this read through --------