#crying I love them so much......... the TENDERNESS

[voxslays]

MY LOVE IS MINE ALL MINE — HWANG IN-HO

Pairing: Hwang In-ho/Frontman x Fem!Reader

Misery. That’s all you felt. It all started when your husband had told you he needed to go to the island to watch over the games, and practically begged you to come along so he could keep an eye on you and your unborn child. It all seemed so innocent and simple.

That was until Gi-hun, a former winner of the games returned once more to play ‘the hero’ as your husband liked to say. After he helped the players survive in red light, green light, your husband was given no choice but to join the games—leaving you, your unborn child, and a few circle guards, who acted as personal bodyguards, alone.

You watched from afar as your husband disguised himself as player 001, hiding himself amongst the crowd and personally joining Gi-hun’s circle. You were so close to the due date, and scared. What if your husband wasn’t back in time? What would you do then?

As the days passed, you could feel the baby kicking more frequently, a reminder of the life growing inside you and the husband who should be by your side. Instead, you were left alone in the mansion, with only the guards for company.

Meanwhile, the Gi-hun and a few other players were planning to infiltrate the games and kill the frontman. Little did they know, he was with them all along. In-ho was quick to fake his death, scurrying to get his triangle and square guards to finish the players off, and stop Gi-hun.

In-ho runs up the stairs to your shared private quarters, stopping at the sound of a distant wailing cry. As he slowly gets closer, he pulls out his gun, just in case. As he turns around the corner, he is surprised with the sight of a few circle guards (masks off), two doctors, a nurse, and a small infant in your arms. You had given birth? Already?

“In-ho!” You look up from the mewling newborn. “You’re back.” You smile warmly. "I am." He gives you a rare smile, eyes crinkling at the corners. He watches you coo at your new bundle of joy. In-ho sees the circles under your eyes, your messy hair, and your tired expression. He realizes how much pain you must've gone through giving birth alone, guilt filling his stomach. "Was it painful?"

“Yes. But I’m alright now.” His expression softens. In-ho slowly approaches you, setting his gun down on the nightstand before carefully sitting down next to you. He looks at the small infant with a hint of curiosity and fondness. "Can I hold him?"

“Of course.” You smile, tiredly handing your son over. “He is your son after all.” He gently takes the baby, supporting his tiny head with one hand. His eyes search your face, a flicker of something tender and vulnerable there. "He's perfect…" He cradles the baby closer, then suddenly looks concerned. "Have you eaten? Had water?"

“Yes, Jagiya.” You coo in Korean, gently cupping his face. Jagiya—My darling. It's a term of endearment that warms his chest. In-ho leans into your touch, eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment. When he opens them again, they're filled with a fierce protectiveness. "I apologize for not being here."

“I forgive you.” You smile as he hands your newborn son back into your arms. “I love you.” You say sitting up to kiss him as you cradle the little tot. In-ho captures your lips in a tender kiss, his heart aching with love and regret. He holds you both close, feeling the warmth of your bodies and the gentle coos of your baby.

For a moment, he forgets about the games, the players, and his role as the Frontman. All the pain and suffering he has gone through because of the games. The loss of his first wife and child. It all disappears as he mutters three words. “I love you.”

[melodyanqel]

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐄 ── ★ h.jh. (004. no truth just lies)

love at first sight happens between the police officer and a bright, innocent woman. they shared a deep connection that meant they needed each other more than anything, even when they experienced the same nightmare.

⤷ pairing: hwang jun-ho x fem!oc

⤷ genre/tags: fluff, angst, thriller, psychological drama, established relationship, team bonding, financial issues, games, action, betrayal, foreigner!soft!oc, protective!junho

⤷ warnings: crying, suggestive themes

⤷ wc: 2.3k words

⤷ note: omggg tysm for 300 followers! i didn’t expect to gain so much luv and support but very grateful. to help you all understand or a recap of the story so far junho and lily have been in a relationship since 2022 and after jun-ho woke up. now in the present day they’re engaged. throughout their relationship junho has never mentioned anything about the squid game, or his unexpected encounter with inho because he wants to protect lily and his mother. plus lily has never met inho in her life. so yea i hope that helped 

⤷ language key: korean, english

⤷ melodyanqel taglist: @hwallazia @rubyredish @analysisiinternet @ilovebtsomgie @aylinbsx @jsprien213 @your-writer-beta-side-piece

Great. She looks like someone attacked her. 

Lily is in the bathroom checking her face. The bruises are not prominent, but they sting. She then looks for antibiotic cream in her drawers to soothe the pain. Lucky for her, Jun-ho isn’t home yet, so she has time to cover them up with foundation and concealer. But at the same time, she asks herself, was it worth it earning the money or she played a goddamn fool of herself. The salesman appeared as a mystery but offered actual cash for some reason. 

When she came home, Lily checked it by shining a bill through a light and the print was visible. So, is this stranger doing it for the right purpose or something else? It’s not every day you’d get money from a random guy. However, it didn’t make it better that he smacked her face as a penalty. It would be counted as an assault if a cop saw it, but the people around the station didn’t interfere, which was understandable. Regardless, it doesn’t sit right with Lily. 

“My love, I’m home!”

She hears her boyfriend’s voice. 

“I’m in the bathroom!” Lily shouts back and finishes putting on the makeup. Again, she will not tell Jun-ho. But for now, she has to clear her mind and be in her love’s comforting arms. Lily turns off the bathroom light and goes to the living room. She sees Jun-ho sitting on the couch, watching T.V. with snacks on the coffee table. After the birthday party, the two cleaned the place but kept the Pochacco balloon. 

Lily joins him. She rests her head on his lap and her body is on the couch. Jun-ho grins, looking down at her lovingly. “Was it a fun date?” He asked about the girl’s day. Lily responded, “Yes, I had fun. So-eun cried when I told her about our engagement.” She tells Jun-ho about the emotional moment. 

He chuckles and says, “That’s good. I also told Han-gyul and he was surprised yet happy for us. He also wishes you the best of luck in this marriage.” Jun-ho has yet to tell his chief and other colleagues. He would share parts of his personal life at his workplace because they all know each other on a deeper level. 

“Aw, that’s sweet!” Lily feels warmth across her chest because she adores the people in her life. “I like Han-gyul. For someone at twenty-one to strive in law enforcement is impressive. I was doing the opposite of him. I found a man at a bakery.” She lets out a mirthful laugh. Jun-ho’s full lips make a smirk. He softly brushes her brunette locks with his fingers. “And now you can’t escape from that man.” His words sounded genuine yet a little daring. 

Jun-ho watches his woman sit up to straddle her legs on his hips. Lily is comfortable on his lap with a tender smile. The emotion in his warm brown eyes has her heart racing. He yearns for his angel. Lily shakes her head. “Nope, I can’t and I have zero regrets.” She stated confidently. 

The officer takes the teacher’s left hand to kiss her ring. He raises his gaze at his blushing woman. Her beauty is out of this world—silky brunette hair, snow-white flesh that looks porcelain, plump rosy lips, and his favorite of all is her enchanting russet eyes.

Jun-ho gets lost in them, even at one glance he’ll go crazy. He puts Lily’s hand down to his lap and still holds it. Jun-ho then tells more about his day. “I’m glad you accept my confession. I also told omma about the news and she screamed through the phone.” He video-called her and she burst into tears and cheered with her friends. 

Lily’s lips play a big smile, “Yay! I have yet to announce it to my family. I hope they don’t mind waking up in the middle of the night.” She snickers because the time zones are one of the issues of living in different countries. Jun-ho lets go of her hand to rub her arm. “I’m sure they don’t. I can announce it with you, whenever you’re ready.” He has the patience like a true gentleman and Lily won’t stop falling for him. 

“Thank you.” She appreciates her beautiful love. Jun-ho watches Lily move closer to him without breaking eye contact. Her soft lips are placed against his like a puzzle piece. Jun-ho uses his right hand to hold the back of her head to deepen the kiss.

He starts to feel the burning passion inside him. Jun-ho wraps his left around Lily’s petite waist to have her body flat on the couch. He hovers over Lily and the kiss gets more intense. He slips his tongue into her mouth to intertwine with her timid licks. She has her arms enveloping his neck.

His brawny hands grab her bare legs to pull her close to his hardness. Lily whimpers between the kiss and her wetness starts to form through her panty and pajama shorts. She wears a cami top which makes it more enticing for Jun-ho to see her pretty breasts nicely snugged from a thin material. 

They parted their lips to take a breather. Jun-ho grins tenderly at Lily’s flushed-out face. It makes him grow harder. “I would like to continue this somewhere else.” He puts his finger on her clothed pussy and brushes it to make her moan in pleasure. 

Lily mutters, “Okay. Can you not be gentle this time?” She sheepishly summits and requests something new. Jun-ho chuckles darkly which sends shivers to Lily’s core. He smirks when he feels her getting dripping wet. “Anything for you, my love.” The hot officer is willing to do whatever his gorgeous fianceé tells him. 

Jun-ho gently carries Lily in his arms, bridal style, to the bedroom. 

ִ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ

❰ OCTOBER, 2024 ❱

A month later, things started to change. 

Jun-ho had to end his island search because there wasn’t any luck nor did he think he would succeed. Even though it was disappointing, Captain Park understood and respected Jun-ho’s choice. So, the officer continues to do his regular duties normally with Han-gyul. He also visits Lily’s place more often because his shifts are now shorter. 

Boyfie (Jun-ho): hey I can’t make it tonight. i’ll be in a meeting with the chief. 

Angel (Lily): that’s fine! make sure you have your umbrella ready for tonight.

Boyfie (Jun-ho): i’m always prepared.

A smile etches on Lily’s lips when reading the text message. Tonight’s weather will be gloomy, but it’s common for the autumn season to get colder and drippy from the rain. It’s also common for Lily to be the nagging girlfriend. She has a reason because Jun-ho forgets things easily. He once forgot about his badge in one of his dirty dress pants and Lily almost washed it. So, he better have an umbrella with him. 

The windows of the classroom are open and the sound of the tree leaves blowing creates a melody. It’s always comforting on a quiet afternoon. Lily is at her desk, grading her students’ homework. Everyone was well-behaved and in a pleasant mood as usual. She loves seeing their happy faces whenever she clocks in because they’re so precious. 

Lily checks the time on her phone to notice it’s half past five. She sighs and stretches her arms. She has been sitting for an hour and there are more tasks to do. Lily created more schedules for the following days, tutored students who were struggling, and organized the classroom. It’s a lot but anything to keep her apartment. 

Inside his car, Jun-ho’s content expression disappears when he reads the messages on his phone. He has yet again lied to Lily. He doesn’t have a meeting, he has a plan to do. While he was in the city with Han-gyul, they stopped a driver because they were speeding. After they drove off without a word and received a ticket, Han-gyul told Jun-ho that the driver was a man and had a collection of phones and tablets. Jun-ho thought it was suspicious so he made sure the rookie cop ran the man’s ID. 

Seong Gi-hun. No criminal record was found.

After reading the scanner, it made Jun-ho’s heart drop. His mind went back to 2020 when he met a man named Seong Gi-hun and entered the game. Jun-ho did some digging to figure out if it was the right person. His guesses became true. However, he has no idea what or how Gi-hun managed to get out of the game alive. 

Jun-ho's destination is to check the office building called “Sunshine Capital.” Supposedly, that’s where Gi-hun’s rental car comes from. He’ll be heading over there at night to avoid getting caught. Jun-ho understands he should let it go and move on because his brother is no longer the Hwang In-ho who he loves and admires. But a voice at the back of his head is telling him to keep searching because there is more to In-ho’s secrets. 

He may act and look like he has the ambition to find his brother again but deep down he is afraid. Jun-ho puts his palm over his left shoulder, the healed gunshot wound. That moment still haunts him. Jun-ho did tell himself he wouldn’t continue on his island search, but maybe there would be luck, eventually. 

For now, it’s time to reunite with Seong Gi-hun.

ִ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ

“Hi, mama.”

“Hello, darling. How are you?”

Lily has the phone call on speaker while looking at the evening sky through the open windows. Her mother wanted to contact her because it’s been days since they’d last spoken. Lily responded, “I’m doing well. Seoul has gotten chilly, but I’ll be fine.” She tries to keep the conversation positive and not bring up her issues. 

“That’s nice to know and stay warm, my dove. I’m assuming Jun-ho is the same as you.” The woman mentions her future son-in-law. Like Mrs. Hwang, she wanted him to be part of the family and grow together. Lily’s father agreed too which was a shocker because fathers would be nervous about their daughters getting married. But her father does love Jun-ho as much as her mother and sister. 

“Yes, he is the same, but he also thought about moving into my apartment whenever he is ready. Mrs. Hwang is okay with it as long as knows how to be the man of the house.” Lily informed about Jun-ho's decision to live with her. She gets a hearty laugh from the other end. Mrs. Reed says, “She reminds me of your grandma when I told her about sharing a space with your dad when we got engaged. If so, I hope you two live happily and healthy.” She gives her words of wisdom. 

Lily begins to tear up and sob. Hearing the sound of her mother’s voice soothes her mind and erases her stress. If only she has the chance to see her in person along with the rest of her family. The young beauty uses her hands to wipe the tears away. She sniffles and clears her throat. “Thank you, mama. I’ll notify you whenever it happens.” Lily will thank her mother endlessly. 

After the much-needed phone call, she finalizes her shift by saving the cleaning for last. She also shuts the windows because when it gets completely dark, the rain starts pouring. Lily expected a light shower, but it came down hard. It seems like she’ll have to hurry her way home. Good thing she brought an umbrella. 

Sometime later, Lily packs her belongings and turns off the classroom lights. She also makes sure the door is locked. As soon as she walks out of the building, the heavy rain welcomes her. Lily shivers when a strong breeze hits her fair cheeks. “Great. The struggles are real.” She huffs, opens her pastel yellow umbrella, and heads to the subway. While walking in the streets, Lily notices people passing by, trying to get to wherever. 

Now at the station, Lily does the routine of waiting for her ride to come. Even though it’s been a month since she encountered that strange man with Ddakji, she wondered if he was still doing it. Lily hadn’t seen him in a while, and it was good because his intentions were outlandish. From that night, she almost didn’t want to return home through the subway and have Jun-ho pick her up. Of course, it would’ve been safer, but it was a one-time thing that can be forgotten. 

Lily brushes off the wonderment of the salesman and focuses on getting back to her place. She needs a nice cup of hot chocolate with sugar cookies. 

When arriving at the apartment, Lily spots an envelope in between the cracks of the door. Confused, she takes it and goes inside. She tears the item open to pull out a paper. It’s from her landlord, telling her the next payment is on October 31st with 2,144,295 won. Lily’s face is crestfallen. She carelessly throws her keys and purse on the dining table. Her body reaches the couch to sit down and calm herself. 

It gives her a headache how rent increases. Not only that but she also has to pay off her student debt because it adds more effect to her credit score. Lily borrowed money during her college years and paid little by little. However, it doesn’t cover everything. She brushes her thumb over the numbers.

She is grateful that the school allows her to work extra hours. Lily once told Jun-ho about needing more money, but she never told him about the monthly rent payments. Even though she can ask Jun-ho and his mother for help, the burden will make her feel like she isn’t doing well financially. Lily is someone who is extremely independent and tries to look for solutions to solve problems.

There has to be a way.

series masterlist | five

[farfromstrange]

Can I get a bouquet of peonies and roses with college! Matt discovering a love for silk?

Matt and silk in the same sentence were bound to have me get carried away. Thank you so much for your request, Shiori, and I hope it's close to what you were imagining!

Procrastination and Silk

Event Masterlist | Matt Murdock Masterlist

Pairing: College!Matt Murdock x Reader

Request: A bouquet of... peonies and roses.

Warnings: Smut (18+), clothed oral (afab!receiving), silk kink (?), coming untouched, underwear ripping, matt is a horny college boy what can i say

WC: 759

The late afternoon sun streams through his dorm window, shining over your discarded criminal law textbook on the hardwood floor. You should be studying right now.

Emphasis on should.

His lips move against yours, a delicate dance he has expertly mastered. His hand, although not yet entirely confident, runs over from your waist to your thigh, caressing the soft skin under the hem of your dress. A sigh slips past your lips into his open mouth, and he swallows the sound greedily. 

Every time you find yourself in this position—and you’ve been in it many, many times before—it’s like he’s touching you again for the first time, like he hasn’t memorized every inch of your beautiful body by now. 

“Can I…?” Matt nudges the fabric. He always acts so stoic, but without those black-rimmed glasses covering his eyes, you can see every twinge of uncertainty reflected in his hazel eyes. 

You cut him off, “Yes.”

He pulls the dress over your head swiftly, and then his lips are on yours again. His hand returns to its earlier journey, though when he brushes against the fabric of your panties, he stops. It feels different, a gentle caress of an angel’s hand, or water running through his fingers. And as it slides against your skin, slotting so perfectly against your curves, it speaks to him like a siren’s song. 

His heart starts racing. Sweat starts to build in his pores, and he suddenly pulls away.

You frown. “Matty, what’s wrong?” 

“It’s– What’re you wearing?” he asks, breathlessly so.

“Underwear,” you say.

He tilts his head, fingers brushing against your underwear again—from your panties to your bra. “Feels different.”

“It’s silk. Why?” You find his hazel eyes. “Do you not like it?”

Matt shakes his head. “No, I–” God, his brain is refusing to catch up. 

“It’s okay, I can take it off.”

He grabs a hold of your wrist. “No,” he says, “don’t!”

“What?”

Matt growls in the back of his throat. “It’s so soft. Don’t…” 

You try to voice your confusion, but he buries his face against the silk covering your breasts, and the only sound that comes out of you is a strangled moan. He rubs his cheek, his nose, his fucking lips against the tender flesh. 

His tongue darts out to circle your nipple. He wants to get closer. He wants to drown in you; he wants that silk to open up and swallow him so he can feel like this forever. Your heart races under his touch. He can taste your arousal in the air, how your wet pussy clenches around nothing, wishing you were wrapped around his cock, and it takes everything in him not to come in his jeans.

Matt trails kisses down your stomach—wet, needy kisses—until he reaches your panties. Silk, silk all over. A million volts of electricity shoot through his veins, bringing his blood to a boil. He wants you to never take it off. 

You throw your head back with an obscene cry of his name when he buries his head between your legs, spreading them open like he never does anything else and licking the expanse of the fabric covering your cunt. No amount of fabric could ever stop his mouth from working the filthiest magic on you. He is a devoted Catholic, after all; the act of worshipping what he deems most holy runs in his blood. 

He sucks and licks at your pussy, fingers splaying over your breasts. So soft, he thinks. So wet and soft, and all-consuming. 

“Don’t stop,” you pant. “Oh God, don’t stop!”

He doesn’t. Matt grabs a hold of the waistband and pulls, hard. The silk slides through your folds, his tongue finally colliding with your aching clit. His bare face is slick with the essence of you, but he only dives deeper. He devours you. The wave keeps building and building and building, and—

Your new underwear tears clean through just as your orgasm crashes in. It hits you with the force of a meteoroid, forcing you to trap his head between your quivering thighs. He loses control of everything that was keeping him from falling apart, and he, too, comes with a moan against your pussy. For a moment, the world seems to disappear. There’s just you and him and that godforsaken underwear you are so glad you decided to wear today. 

And the next time you come to visit him, Matt’s bed is covered in a set of silk sheets and on top of them, a new pair of underwear—silk underwear. 

[lazysoulwriter]

A Soft Surprise. - Paul Mescal.

just pure fluff!!!!!!!

♡ ︎♡ ︎♡ ︎

The dull ache in your abdomen had you pinned to the bed, curled up under the covers, as if hiding from the world could somehow ease the discomfort. It wasn’t just physical pain; it was the emotional wave that came with your cycle—the frustration, the sensitivity, the overwhelming desire for comfort. Paul lay beside you, his body warm against yours, one arm slung protectively over your waist. His presence was a soothing balm even on the worst days.

“Anything you need, love?” he asked softly, his Irish lilt wrapping around you like a hug.

You shook your head, not trusting your voice. It was one of those days where even forming words felt like too much. He seemed to understand, as always. Instead of pressing, he adjusted his position to hold you closer, his lips brushing your temple.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said after a few moments of silence. “You’ve been watching a lot of those kitten videos lately. Crying over them, actually.” There was a teasing lilt to his voice, but it was filled with affection, not mockery.

“They’re just so cute,” you mumbled, burying your face in his chest. “And I miss having a cat. You know I always had cats. It feels weird not to.”

He hummed thoughtfully, his fingers tracing soothing circles on your back. “You’ll have one again someday, I promise.”

You sighed, content with the comfort he provided. Eventually, you drifted off into a light, restless nap, your body finally succumbing to the exhaustion of the day. Paul stayed with you for a while, watching the soft rise and fall of your chest, brushing stray hairs from your face. But an idea had already begun forming in his mind, and he couldn’t let it go.

You woke to the sound of soft murmuring. For a moment, you weren’t sure if you were dreaming or awake. Paul’s voice was low and gentle, but he wasn’t talking to you. You blinked your eyes open to see him sitting on the edge of the bed, something small and dark cradled in his hands.

“Paul?” you rasped, your voice thick with sleep.

He turned, his face lighting up in a way that made your heart flip. “Hey, love. You’re awake. Come here, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

You sat up slowly, confusion knitting your brows. Then you saw it—a tiny black kitten, nestled comfortably in his hands, its bright green eyes wide with curiosity. Your breath hitched, and for a moment, you couldn’t speak.

“Is this real?” you finally managed, your voice trembling.

He grinned, his eyes sparkling. “Very real. I… uh, I may have gone out while you were napping. Met someone who was fostering this little guy and thought he might be the one for you.”

Tears filled your eyes as you reached out, your hands trembling slightly as you touched the kitten’s soft fur. He let out a tiny meow, leaning into your touch, and that was it. The dam broke. Tears spilled down your cheeks as you looked up at Paul, overwhelmed by love and gratitude.

“I can’t believe you did this,” you whispered. “He’s perfect.”

Paul reached out to brush a tear from your cheek, his touch tender. “You deserve a bit of happiness, especially on days like this. I thought he might help.”

You pulled the kitten close, cradling him against your chest as he purred softly. “What’s his name?” you asked, looking at Paul.

“Well, I figured that was up to you,” he said with a shrug. “But I had a feeling you might already have an idea.”

You smiled through your tears, a laugh bubbling up despite the emotion clogging your throat. “Lucius,” you said softly.

Paul’s brows lifted in surprise before his face broke into a wide grin. “Lucius? Like my character in Gladiator?”

You nodded, brushing your fingers gently over the kitten’s head. “It’s fitting. He’s brave, just like you said about Lucius in the movie. And… it’s a little piece of you too.”

Paul’s throat worked as he swallowed, clearly moved. He leaned in, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. “You’re going to make me cry now,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

You smiled up at him, your heart swelling with so much love you thought it might burst. “You’re the love of my life, Paul Mescal.”

He cupped your face in his hands, his eyes searching yours. “And you’re mine. Always.”

The two of you stayed like that for a while, wrapped in the warmth of each other’s presence and the soft purring of your new furry companion. Lucius quickly made himself at home, exploring the bed and climbing onto Paul’s lap, where he promptly curled up and fell asleep.

“Looks like he’s already decided he’s a daddy’s boy,” you teased, wiping the last of your tears.

Paul chuckled, scratching behind Lucius’s ears. “Can you blame him? I am pretty irresistible.”

You laughed, the sound light and genuine for the first time all day. For the first time in what felt like forever, the heaviness in your chest lifted. As you watched Paul stroke Lucius with one hand while his other rested on your thigh, you realized that this moment, this man, this little black kitten—this was home.

Later that night, as the three of you lay tangled together on the bed, you felt a peace you hadn’t known you needed. Lucius was curled up between you and Paul, his tiny body rising and falling with each breath. Paul’s hand rested over yours, his thumb stroking your knuckles absentmindedly.

“Thank you,” you whispered, turning your head to look at him. “For everything. For knowing what I needed before I even did.”

He smiled, leaning over to kiss you softly. “That’s what love is, isn’t it? Being there for each other, even on the hard days. Especially on the hard days.”

You nodded, your heart so full it felt like it might overflow. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

Paul chuckled, his lips brushing against your temple. “I think the same thing about you every day, love.”

As you drifted off to sleep, the sound of Lucius’s soft purring filling the room, you couldn’t help but think that Paul Mescal was right. Love was about moments like this—quiet, simple, and utterly perfect.

[kwondotcom]

finally, finally built the emotional capacity to annotate something in the orange. on bsk's birthday, i said "the best thing you can do for yourself today is to read this fic." over a week later, it still stands true. this is one of the best pieces of work you will find not only on svtblr, but on the internet as a whole. i believed it then; i believe it now. 🍊 spoilers under the cut.

an anonymous assumption that was made about viv some days ago was whether she has a background as a film major, and her answer was no; she's just recently read the past lives script (lol). could've fooled me. this was a stellar device used for getting into the characters' head and describing them, and the eventual payoff of it just makes the story all the more heart-wrenching. on a more personal note: as a communication major who spent four years writing movie scripts? this shit was good.

the mark of a good apocalypse fic. how deep does the lore go? naming the phenomenon 'the Blight' and establishing it throughout is insane work. the information is bread crumbed. enough to keep you guessing. but in this first paragraph alone— extinction, famine, inflation— the domino effect of everything feels ominous. having seungkwan and the MC discussing [shotgun] marriage afterwards feels like a smoke screen. 'look, the world may be ending, but there is a young couple asking hypothetical questions and falling in love.'

absolutely devastating, by the way. i'm a big believer of love in the small moments, and there's just. something distinctly tender in how this is navigated. the images of walks home, shaky confessions, button exchanges. and the hints of what's happening, what's to come: mild dust storms, a barren world. this is a masterclass in writing, and it is genuinely so insane to me that i am getting to read this for free.

there's much to love in this passage. MC being right about the wires being good for barter. the passages that explain how the camera came to be. and just— all the premise in the world for why their love is so beautiful, how their affection persists. MC being a 'former writer' prepared for the zombie apocalypse is a nice touch.

[CAR CRASH] [GLASS SHATTERING] [EXPLOSION] “OH MY GOD” [BABY CRYING] “WAAAHH WAHH” [YELLING] “HELP MEE” [POLICE SIRENS] WEE WOO WEE WOEOO [YELLING] [HELICOPTERS] ‘WE’RE REPORTING LIVE-‘ [EXPLOSION] ‘MY LEG... MY LEG!!’ [BABY CRYING] “AHFUCKK SOMEONE HELP US” [REPORTER REPORTING]

both of the translations i found absolutely wrecked me. the first translation offers a specific kind of pain. the thought of the newlywed; longing for someone; a crying heart; if he cannot come, i will send my heart instead— after knowing MC is referred to as 'my heart'? and the second translation gives us tears of farewell; the trace of someone; how can old wounds be renewed? i'm a believer that everything is intentional, that nothing is left up to chance, especially when it comes to writing, and viv just bowls you over with the sheer thoughtfulness of a detail like this. i can't even begin to discuss the juxtaposition of a beach ruined by things like plastic and trash vs. bullet shells and shrapnel. the couple then running to be in the water together; the footage, partially obscured? i can't help but wonder how much of this is intentional. we've been privy to their romance so far, but this moment— what might be considered A Last Good Day, even, since this is d-4— isn't even perceivable in its entirety. there is only so much that we can see about their relationship on-/off-screen, both in a literal and metaphorical sense. i compound a couple of later scenes here. direction to hold an image of joy, in a mokpo beach (my god, viv; you are vicious) that is untouched by tragedy; uncertainty of whether the filming was accidental or intentional.

anticipatory loss, only for the loss to be one so unexpected. once again, i'm amazed by the amount of detail in the world-building— how viv outlines the conscription and the emotional aspects of it. how do we even begin to prepare for loss? and how do we live with the knowledge of how much we're about to lose? isn't that just the entirety of life, really? knowing that we are always going to lose one thing or another. in response: we hold things tight. we look, and memorize, and catalogue. it reminds me of the popular quote: "everything i've ever let go of has claw marks on it."

i was struck between the eyes by the violence of that act [cutting any scenes], because this very much feels like the crux of reconstruction/memory/narrative. seungkwan is in charge of what will be remembered; how the MC will be remembered. i adore the ambiguity of whether the scenes reflect a stitched-together film or whether we're following along seungkwan's review. equally, there's just something gutting about this playing out in some perverted version of what MC and seungkwan joked about i.e. a world with electricity, where seungkwan had free reign to do what he wanted with all the gathered clips.

not thieves, just travelers. expecting last words and getting the ghost of a kiss instead. your eyes, only ever kind. there is so much to love here, so much to adore in the stylistic, technical sense, but what comes to fore for me is this: viv's respect for the dead/dying. an honorable death in its own right. unjustified, still. devastating, always.

i will be honest. it's nearing 4 a.m. as i wrap this up (annotations were done in non-chronological order lmao), and i feel my coherency waning. i know enough to say that these were some lines that felt like a literal gut punch. the idea that our writer!MC and filmmaker!seungkwan can still nurture creativity. to love and be loved. the thought that MC always smiled at seungwkan over the camera. love. loss. a heart's a heavy burden. and you were seungkwan's heart, weren't you?

i think, in my initial read— struck by grief of the fic lol— i'd skipped over seungkwan's line here. twice as many stars as usual. let's look up together. this scene takes place in a corn field, presumably the night before the Incident. two-headed calves don't survive for very long; most pass away in less than 24 hours, their deformities taking a toll on their lifespan. the poem has always tugged at my heart, because at its core it talks about finding so much hope, and light, and love, in a short lifespan. and is that not the case of seungkwan and MC? twice as many stars. some beauty and peace despite being doomed from the beginning. all any of us have is however long we have.

ending this with two of my favorite poems on grief. a discussion i've had time and time again is whether a person can be complimented on their ability to write grief. is it a insult, to be told that you write about grief well, when it takes an acute understanding of loss to be able to pull it off? i haven't figured that out yet. and so i conclude, instead, with this. grief's familiar rooms and how it reminded me of the scenes wherein seungkwan is rewatching the clips (pulling at its buttons / that are not answers); poem and how, by and by, it reminds me of this gorgeous piece as a whole. i'm changed in inexplicable ways because of something in the orange, and i'm not exaggerating. how lucky are we to be in a time where writing like this is free to read; how grateful am i to exist in viv's orbit, under the same starry skies. the poem story ends, soft as it began, —

something in the orange

summary. remembrance is also reconstruction. reconstruction presupposes loss. a meditation on memory, narrative, and grief. and, of course, love. pairing. boo seungkwan x gn!reader genre/tags. ANGST, (semi-graphic) major character death, interstellar au-ish (just the blight), non-linear narrative, blurred fiction and reality if you squint (sorry I reread goodbye eri while writing), unbeta’d (mistakes are my own) wc. 5k suggested listening. love wins all, iu // 消費期限, seventeen // triassic love song, paris paloma // eight, iu prod. & ft. suga // yawn, seventeen // something in the orange, zach bryan (or niall's cover)

notes. midnight in korea now; happy birthday kwannie! this is very experimental, and admittedly i'm not fully satisfied w it, but I didn't know how to change it atp. sorry boo, it's your birthday but i give you pain. as always, reblogs are appreciated and come say hi if you're so inclined 🫶🏼

D-17 EXT. SEOUL TRAIN STATION – KOREA – DAWN The sun rises over the ruins of Seoul Station. The air is clear of smoke and fog. A shot of the sun peeking over the heap of steel, glass, and cement that once served as the station’s framing. The train tracks run to the far horizon, to the left and right of the frame. Pan to YOU (young-looking though age is ambiguous, former writer, love of SEUNGKWAN’S life) squinting at an old, battered map of Korea’s train lines, and a compass. You’re wearing battered jeans that are slightly too big, boots, and a sturdy leather jacket. Behind the camera, SEUNGKWAN (male, young-sounding though age is ambiguous, former video producer) narrates.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         BOO-log number 529. We’re now figuring out how to get to Mokpo. Neither of us are any good with directions, but my partner decided that we could try following train lines since the none of them are running anyway. You look up at the sound of his voice, noticing the camera.

                YOU             (exasperated, but fond)         Kwannie, are you filming again? We have 30 batteries, but not all of them might be working. You might need to save battery and memory if you want to video the view of Jeju Island.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         It’s okay, I really just wanted to record us before we start. Once we’re walking, I won’t use the camera as much. And I have twenty other SD Cards!                 YOU             (not surprised)         Okay, we’ll definitely figure something out for the batteries, then.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Yeah. Now— Seungkwan’s voice changes to a more formal tone, as though he were imitating a newscaster.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S., CONT’D)         What are your thoughts as we start our newest adventure? The camera catches your grin. You follow along, changing your tone to an impression of those backpackers in TV documentaries.                  YOU         Um, I’m excited to see Jeju-do, even from afar, because it’s part of Seungkwannie, and we had our honeymoon there. As long as we’re careful, I know we can do it. If we’re lucky, we may even find someone who can bring us across. Beat. You look ever so slightly awkward in front of the camera.                 YOU (CONT’D) Wait, here, give me the camera. I’ll record you this time. The footage shakes, briefly showing a tiled floor, then train tracks, before panning to a blurry face. The camera shakes for a moment before the image comes into focus, revealing a beautiful young man with dark hair. Seungkwan does a better job at the “interviewer voice”, but you’re no slouch either.                 YOU (O.S., CONT’D)         So, Seungkwan-ssi, what are your thoughts as we embark on a new adventure?                 SEUNGKWAN             (genuine)         I think it’s about to be wonderful.

D–2183

When the Blight started, both you and Seungkwan were in high school. Though only having known you since that start of your third year, you’ve quickly wormed his way into his life—visiting his house, having dinners with your family, and he even managed to force you into joining the badminton club with him.

Bees now officially extinct, the news proclaims, an effect of the ravaging of nearly all plant life. Asia in particular has suffered; the widespread rice shortages due to it becoming impossible to grow resulted in widespread famine. The extinction of plants used for feed, made food prices across the board skyrocket. Corn, it seems, is the only crop that can resist the Blight—and the rest of the world now has to adjust its staple food to mimic the old Americas.

“Seungkwan.” You prod his ribs.

“Mm?”

“What would you do if the world ends tomorrow?”

“Marry you.” You laugh, until you realize he isn’t joking.

“What?” Your voice pitches to an incredulous squeak.

“Marry you,” he repeats.

“Why, though?”

“I always wanted to get married,” Seungkwan replies, after a moment of pondering. “And if the world ends tomorrow, as of today you’d be my best candidate for marriage.” 

For a moment, you just look at him, eyes tracing over his features. Your steady gaze makes him shift, uncomfortable, wondering if he said something wrong. Eventually, you shrug, though there’s a twinkle in your eye as you quirk a smile at him.

“While I don’t support shotgun marriages, I’d make an exception for you and the end of the world.”

His breath catches, heart stuttering as he tries to parse your answer in his head. “Wha—you—”

“Come on, Seungkwan, don’t dish it if you can’t take it,” you groan, flopping sideways to plop your head against the armrest. Your legs tilt as you do, your foot brushing against his calf. He tries not to jolt at the contact.

“I’m sorry!” He pouts, trying to calm the uneven fluttering of his heart. You laugh, shifting your lean in the opposite direction, so your head lands on his lap. Despite having done it a thousand times before, he traces softly the way your hair falls, admiring the way its color contrasts with the color of his pants.

(Looking back, he’ll think about how that day changed things, even just by a little bit; how his gazes grew longer, noticing more how the sunsets glowed against your face as you walked home together every day, painting you golden. How you’d both gotten used to creative ways of shelter when mild dust storms come, thanking your luck each time that you had gotten home before it truly began.

He’ll think about how, a year from that day, he kissed you as he walked you home for the last time before you enter your separate colleges, swallowing the teasing took you long enough from your lips as he finished his shaky confession. 

He’ll think of how you exchanged second buttons like those characters from that anime you liked did, and the quiet promises to make things work even as the world seems to turn more barren than both of you can follow.

He’ll think of how three years from then, he gets on one knee, to your tearful yes and salty kisses. Your small marriage, with just your families, batchmates, and some professors, followed by a beautiful honeymoon in Jeju. Despite it all.

None of these decisions had anything to do with the end of the world, but you and Seungkwan made them, nonetheless.)

D-9 INT. A TENT – A TRAIN STATION SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SEOUL AND MOKPO – NIGHT The footage is grainy due to the lack of proper lighting; the camera shakes as Seungkwan seems to be trying to balance it on something. The tent is quite cramped; the inside is sparse, with only two sleeping bags and your knapsacks—Seungkwan’s with two camping pans attached with a carabiner.  The leather jacket you were wearing is now resting on one of the bags. You have both swapped your sturdy day pants for more comfortable, albeit worn, sweatpants. Out of context, it looks like a vlog filmed by two campers on a hike. The camera steadies as Seungkwan moves away. He moves to sit beside you. There is an easy intimacy as you thread your fingers together, almost mindlessly.                 SEUNGKWAN         BOO-log number 531. We passed by a sign that said Nonsan. That means we’re probably halfway there.                 YOU         We made progress better than expected, didn’t we? I estimated at least two weeks.                 SEUNGKWAN             (nodding, excited)         I thought the train tracks would have been ruined, since the stations are, but they’re surprisingly reliable.                 YOU         It’s true; of course there were times when we had to find our way around the tracks, or climb above anything that fell down over it, or go through some cornfields, but mostly, it seems we’ve been lucky.                 SEUNGKWAN         By the way—everyone, it looks like we’re in a tent in the middle of nowhere, doesn’t it? Don’t be fooled, we set this up in a convenience store.                 YOU             (laughing)         You ruined it! Now we can’t be funky backpackers with a tent on the train tracks.                 SEUNGKWAN             (playfully lecturing)         It’s good to be truthful, you know. What if kids watch this someday? We have to be good moral people.                 YOU             (with the remnants of a laugh)         Okay, okay. We set this up in the Seven Eleven inside one of the train stations. Abandoned, obviously. We made it in right before the dust storm hit.                 SEUNGKWAN         Another good news today is that we managed to barter something for food.                 YOU         Yeah. This one engineer or something—I think he’s a veteran? But we saw him tinkering on his porch and offered a trade, his corn for our cables, and now we have dinner.                 SEUNGKWAN             (joking)         It’s not jokbal, but it’ll do, I suppose.                 YOU             (groaning)         Oh my God, what I’d give for some jokbal right now. With bossam. And soju. SEUNGKWAN         I’ll be dreaming of that tonight.                 YOU         Anyway, everyone, we’ll end the log here, so we have enough batteries for a nice long BOO-log at Mokpo. Both you and Seungkwan wave your corn (dinner) at the camera. You reach forward, covering the lens with your palm. The clip ends.

D–20

Seungkwan walks around the house. He’s doing his last checks, checking between what’s in his bag and what’s in the rooms to parse if he’s missed anything—batteries, your wallets, matches, passports, birth certificates, first aid kit, water bottles, toothbrushes, all the canned food in the pantry, the sturdiest kitchen knife you both owned (wrapped in two layers of cloth), the Swiss knife he was gifted a few years back, flashlights, a whistle, and all the carabiners and hard cash you had were already packed.

He finds you in your shared bedroom. There are a bunch of wires there, evidently cut from various appliances. You’ve wrapped the cables as neatly as you could manage. On the bed, you’ve laid all your dry-fit shirts and the sturdiest pairs of pants you both have. Then, from the dresser, you’ve collected the most expensive jewelry the both of you own—well, all of them, but you separated the expensive ones in another pile. He points to the latter.

“What’s that for?”

“If cash fails, maybe gold won’t. I don’t know, just in case the currency collapses. But they’re worth bringing all the same.” Also, you hold out copies of both your health insurances. He opens his knapsack and quickly stuffs them in the same place as your other documents.

“Last resort kindling?” Seungkwan offers, showing the cluster of documents in his compartment. The remark draws a quick breath of a laugh from you.

“Probably.”

“How about the wires?”

“You never know when we’ll need some emergency engineer bullshit; plus, if it comes to it, the wires will probably be better barter material. Before you ask,” you hold up one hand, “I edited a zombie novel a few years back. But if that kid was pulling out of his ass, we’re fucked.”

Despite your disclaimer, the no-nonsense, matter-of-fact way you’re handling the situation makes something settle in him, as though all he needed was an anchor amid the chaos. He pulls you close, placing a kiss to your temple. The tension in your body melts as you press against him. For a moment, Seungkwan just holds you. A temporary anchor before you need to move.

Turning to him, you offer a quick peck to his lips before holding up his trusted camera bag, worn as it is. “Bring it,” you tell him firmly. “We need a little bit of happiness. Get all the SD cards you have, too. In case we just never leave Mokpo. It’s small enough to stuff in our pockets.”

Seungkwan can’t help it; he grabs your face and kisses you. The camera bag sits between you awkwardly, but he doesn’t care. He savors this, the familiar taste of it, the contours of your face that his hands have long since memorized. You pull away, but not before kissing his lips again, then his nose. He’ll never quite get used to the way you look at him, as though there is something new to love each time.

“We’re gonna be okay, my heart.”

D-4 EXT – A LONG STRETCH OF BEACH – MOKPO, SOUTH KOREA – SUNSET The camera captures a breathtaking sunset. The sky is a wash of oranges and pinks, the clouds purple yet lined in the light of the sun. Mokpo is on the southwest side of Korea; the view of the sunset is particularly beautiful, as the sun sinks down into the sea. There are faint silhouettes of islands both near and far from the shore. The waters are tranquil, and there are no sounds except for the steady wash of the waves on the shore.

The shot slowly pans to you. Your expression is tranquil, despite the dirt and tears across your clothes.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)             (soft, so soft you don’t hear)         Pretty.                 YOU             (clueless)         Hm?                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Nothing. Can you see Jeju Island from here?

He already knows where it is.                 YOU             (laughing softly, a little sad)         To be honest, I don’t know which piece of land I’m seeing is Jeju. A finger appears at the edge of the screen.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         There, that’s Jeju. Right behind the blob that looks like a hat.                 YOU             (squinting)         Oh! Right, that’s what it looks like. Beat.                 YOU (CONT’D) The view is beautiful. It’s been so long since I’ve seen the sea. Seungkwan hums the opening to Tears of Mokpo. You don’t recognize it until he softly begins to sing the opening lyrics.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)             (singing)         사공의 뱃노래 가물거리면…                 YOU             (laughing outright)         That doesn’t have anything to do with Jeju! He sings louder just to spite you. You playfully roll your eyes. Bending down, you unlace your boots and take off your socks, sinking your bare feet into the sand with barely-concealed relish. Seungkwan stops singing as he knows what you’re about to do.                 SEUNGKWAN         Careful; don’t step on anything sharp. As you move forward, the camera follows you. It is revealed that the beach is not so picturesque. The sea seems to have dried up some, and even here, bits and bobs of life float on the surface and linger in the sand.

There are the usual culprits: plastic bags, empty cans of alcohol and soda, and snack wrappers. Yet visible also on the camera are the following: bullet shells, shrapnel, a chair leg, a ragged pillow, and a cracked desktop monitor. As all this is visible, the camera centers on you laughing, splashing in the saltwater and enjoying the breeze in your hair.                 YOU             (calling; audio faint)         Kwannie! Come here! A beat. The camera zooms in on your face.                 YOU         Kwannie, come on! Hurry up!                 SEUNGKWAN             (proximity makes his voice loud)         Okay! A rustle. The camera is laid down, cloth (Seungkwan’s jacket) obscuring part of the footage. After a nudge, the cloth disappears from frame. Another figure, barefoot, joins you.

D–119

Jeju has officially been declared abandoned, lost for some other country to use as farmland. The radio announced the treaty ratification today. Seungkwan is a spectre around the house, listless and heartbroken. 

Months ago, when the conflict began to escalate in earnest, he began whatever arrangements he could to ensure his family was safe, moving them as near to the farming areas as he could manage and encouraging them to share whatever techniques they knew could help former cities now learning how to farm. The news does not make the sharp pang of grief dull any less.

He is at the age when he is to receive a conscription notice; Korea has since shifted its system to split soldiers into those who will either fight on the front lines of the Resource Wars, or serve by tilling the land and ensuring that there is enough corn for the population, however dwindling. There is no guarantee on which one he is to get, even if he did register himself as head of household (and should hypothetically be assigned the latter), but he is due to receive news in a few months’ time.

The promise of the notice hangs over both your heads. In the mornings, you spend ten more minutes just looking at him, as though you were memorizing the shapes and contours of his features. At night, he curls into you more tightly than before; once you’d have complained that it was too hot, now, you simply wrap your arms around him and let him sink his face into your hair.

“Hey, Seungkwannie.”

“Mm?”

“Let’s go on a trip.” The hand mindlessly running through your hair falters. 

He pulls away, looking at you with a furrowed brow. You keep your head low, pressed against his chest. “What?”

“Let’s go south. Yeosu, Mokpo, whatever, just near the beach, as close as possible to Jeju. Just…just see it, even from afar.” At his silence, you barrel on. “If we walk enough, we can make it in two weeks—a week if we can hitch a ride with one of those crop trucks or something—and then just another two weeks back, if we don’t settle in Mokpo outright.” 

“Food—”

“I can pack us as much as I can. We’ll need to ration, and possibly trade, but we can do it. The treaty is in place, and it’s most dangerous up north right now. Going south isn’t as big of a risk, and the weather has been looking good lately.” Finally looking up, you cup his cheek, tracing the skin with your thumb. He presses his lips to your wrist.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to Kwannie. I just thought you might want to say goodbye.”

“I…” he falters. It’s tempting. Unbearably so, despite the nagging at the back of his head that it would be better to leave it at that, keep his memory limited to the days you spent there dodging dust storms and falling in love. He doesn’t know how much it’s changed. How much the ocean might have even dried up. He doesn’t know if he can stomach to see it. “Give me a few days to think about it?”

“Of course, Kwannie. All the time you need.”

D+29

Seungkwan’s life has been demarcated into two. Before, and after. He goes through the motions of the government-run fields: waking up, clocking in, eating breakfast, tilling the soil, weeding, lunch, the occasional drills in case they were still expected to fight, transporting corn from one warehouse to another, dinner, sleep. Repeat.

Not a lot of people are here; many prefer to till fields they own, or collectively own; for once, agrarian reform straightened itself out at the start of the Blight. Yet with the dwindling population—slowly withering family trees—those lands acquired by the government grew.

Sometimes, Seungkwan thinks of home. He was lucky enough that the head of the center, Seungcheol, was kind enough to register his name as part of the deployed cadets under his supervision, despite the incomplete paperwork he had when he stumbled into his field, frail and dehydrated from lack of food and water.

Home remains now only in his memory, and in every replay of the Christmases he captured on camera. The soil is more unforgiving than before; it distracts from the loneliness.

EXT. A SMALL FIELD, WEDDING VENUE – DAY The wedding is humbly decorated with dried corn leaves fashioned into flowers, as there are no real ones anymore (none within the budget, anyway). Guests came as they are, though everyone has made an effort to clean up more than usual. It is currently the reception, and the speakers are playing a quick beat. The guests are dancing, laughing, and cheering, though their movements are blurry and almost smeared onscreen (step-printing effect). In the middle of it, you stand, the only still figure in the frame. You’re smiling softly to someone behind the camera, very clearly in love. Cut to Seungkwan, in a similar position, the guests around him dancing as but blurs. He is wearing a similar expression. He begins to walk forward.

You meet in the middle, still the only clear figures to the camera, and begin to dance.  As though the dance were a spell, the surroundings cut to: INT. A MEDIUM-SIZED LIVING ROOM – NIGHT EXT. SEOUL STATION, IN RUINS – DAY INT. YOUR TENT (MAGICALLY ENLARGED) – NIGHT EXT. LONG STRETCH OF BEACH (UNPOLLUTED) – MOKPO – SUNSET Hold this image for a moment. The sea laps at your ankles. The bottom of both your garments brushes against the saltwater, but neither of you seem to notice. Both you and Seungkwan close the gap to meet in a tender kiss. Suddenly, cheers. You part, and are back to: EXT. A SMALL FIELD, WEDDING VENUE – DAY The newly-married couple smiles and waves. The bottom of their garments are damp.

D+167

It seems surreal to have all the batteries he wants, and even a computer where he can replay all his footage—more than 4000 hours’ worth of it. It took a few months of work to earn enough credits and rank to access it, but Seungkwan pursued the goal with single-minded purpose. There is enough electricity in this center to run a few computers, and Seungkwan is its most regular customer, painstakingly going through each clip on the dozens of SD cards he has.

For footage so far back, from when you had just been married, there are parts where he no longer remembers what happened after the clips end. They remain in his memory as but colored ghosts, warm-tinged with nostalgia. Cabinets that would never be opened again, now filled, in his dreams, with infinities.

The house of his memories blurs with the house of his oneirism. In both, he subsists on sleep and daydreams. But memory will betray; it won’t tell him if the house he remembers has been altered by each remembrance. So he watches his videos. He walks through his house, now only alive in video and reconstructed by memory. He sees himself and he sees you, in all the different iterations you both were. Wonders if he could stitch both into narrative. Wonders if he could even bear to cut any scenes. He’s never thought about the violence of that act until now.

Inventories do not just catalogue possession; they also measure the potential of loss. It was a quote from one of your writing workshops, discussed over a late dinner. You could still afford some meat then; Seungkwan had saved just enough for a small slab of cured pork, which you would cut tiny slabs from for both of you to enjoy before bed.

He has five minutes left of his designated slot with the computer.

Seungkwan watches, and he catalogues.

D=0

Seungkwan only remembers in flashes—a gunshot. A scream. It’s only when he replays that moment in his mind that he realizes it was his voice. Barely a thud as your body is cushioned by the corn leaves. Dark red liquid, somehow both grainy and slippery on his hands as he drags you into the thick of the field, away from the path, trying desperately to stem the blood while minimizing your trail. Until finally, he collapses, feet unable to bring him a step further.

More flashes—your eyes, only ever kind. Even at your last moments. The way you hold his hand and place it over the pocket you keep his SD cards, as though reminding him one last time. The way your eyes search his face, first desperate, and then resigned. The way he leaned in when you opened your mouth, to hear your final words, only to feel the ghost of chapped lips brush against his ear. The gush of blood that dribbles past your mouth that tells him you’re gone.

(The Resource Wars felt like more a backdrop than anything else; you had come this far without any altercation. Yet even as you screamed that you were not thieves, just travellers, the gunshot rang. 

The cornfields weep with him as he leaves you behind, SD cards clutched in his bloody hand.)

D–4

TIME CUT TO: It is twilight, now. The camera is trained on the horizon. The sun has fully set, and night is beginning to settle in the sky. Only the barest hints of orange remain. The footage has already become slightly grainy due to the lighting. Neither you nor Seungkwan are on the camera. Instead, voices are heard while the darkness arrives. It is not evident whether the footage was taken accidentally, or on purpose.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)             (softly)         I’m glad we came. Really, even if we couldn’t get to Jeju. I’m glad. I’m glad it’s with you.                 YOU (O.S.)             (just as softly)         I’m glad too, my heart. You filmed the whole sunset, didn’t you? Start to finish?                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Yeah. Yesterday and today. I have so much footage that I don’t know what to do with.

Breath.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S., CONT’D)         Actually, that goes for all the BOO-logs. Even the ones from high school and college.                 YOU (O.S.)             (surprised)         You never tried editing them?                  SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         I have, but what then? There are hardly any theaters now. Nowhere else to post. And electricity is expensive.                 YOU (O.S.)         Okay, but if we both die, what do you think’s gonna happen to this camera? Seungkwan is many things; a prideful badminton player (before the Wars stopped sports events), a videographer, casual vlogger, and a corn field worker. You are also many things; an editor (before your company closed from too little employees), author, copywriter, and occasional tiller.

Both of you still enjoy nurturing sparks of creativity when they come.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Mm. someone picks it up and it gets immortalized in a post-war museum. And our videos will be a special feature.                 YOU (O.S.)         Oooh. And the war museum would be on a spaceship, with funky gravity and new plants and meat the astronauts domesticated from a different planet.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         And there’s a new jokbal. Call that out of this world delicious.                 YOU         Stop! Despite the terrible joke, you both laugh, then let the conversation drift into comfortable silence. The sun has fully set. Nothing much can be discerned visually from the footage.                 YOU (O.S., CONT’D)         Hey, Seungkwannie.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Mm?                 YOU (O.S.)         If you had the chance, like computers and steady electricity, would you edit all the BOO-logs into a short film?                  SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)             (skeptical, but thinks about it seriously)         What would the plot even be? A married couple traveling to Mokpo, dodging dust storms and chasing each other through cornfields? Watching the stars at night?                 YOU (O.S.)             (earnest)         Yeah! Or, y’know, make it semi-autobiographic, like two lovers wanting to visit where they first had their honeymoon. Or maybe I’m sick and you want to take me to the sea one last time? The footage earlier could fit with that storyline.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Don’t even say that!                 YOU (O.S.)             (laughing softly, apologetic)         Sorry, sorry. But if you do make a short film, I want to be the first to see it. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you work.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         What about you, then? Would you write a book about us?                 YOU (O.S.)         Oh, definitely. And you’d be the first to read it. The footage cuts.

D+182

Seungkwan replays the footage again. Beside him, Vernon fiddles with a pen.

“What do you think about making this a short film?” Seungkwan asks. 

Vernon stops. 

Seungkwan may be their newest addition, but the rest of the crew has grown protective. He brings light to their conversations, effortless in his ability to entertain and bring laughter. Mingyu asks him of his favorite foods, especially the ones he misses from Jeju, even if recreating them is near impossible. Seungcheol reprimands anyone who tries to bully him into giving up his share of rations. Junhui has begun to joke more, noticing how Seungkwan seems to be particularly into his humor. 

Yet everyone recognizes the sadness that still clings to his heels.

Vernon looks, for a long moment, at the monitor, frozen with a picture of a smiling face he’s never known—never personally, only ever through the screen and Seungkwan’s stories, always shared in quiet whispers in the privacy of his room.

He knows, though. Knows that this person was real. They loved, and were loved. It speaks in how the camera follows whoever is in the frame. The cuts of certain clips, as though either the person behind the camera joined their partner or had a moment that could not be captured in film. Most of all, it was the way whoever was in the frame would, without fail, smile at the person behind it. 

“I think,” he replies, choosing his words deliberately, “that you are in a unique position to dictate how someone is to be remembered by those who never knew them. And…” he hesitates, wondering if two months of these quiet conversations is still too little to be so candid with his friend, especially when talking of loss.

So, so much loss.

Seungkwan answers that question for him. “It’s okay, Vernon-ah.”

“…Well, I just wanted to say that it’s a burden to bear, is all.”

EXT – A CORNFIELD UNDER THE STARS – NIGHTTIME The stars have emerged, visible in all their glory. After the start of the Blight, when the population began to dwindle, electricity and many other resources became scarce. Much of the light pollution that was once a problem has disappeared. Brilliant dots twinkle overhead. To you and Seungkwan, it could pass for the Milky Way. The POV seems to be at a low point; stalks of corn are visible at the edges of the frame. Yet the stars are bright, captured exceedingly well.

You’re softly speaking aloud Laura Gilpin’s The Two-Headed Calf. It was one of the poems you memorized in college, as a creative writing major. YOU (O.S.)             (as though from far away)         Tomorrow when the farm boys find this freak of nature, they will wrap his body in newspaper and carry him to the museum.

But tonight he is alive and in the north field with his mother. It is a perfect summer evening: the moon rising over the orchard, the wind in the grass. And as he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual. Long beat.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Twice as many stars as usual…let’s look up together.                 YOU (O.S.)         I see the stars, my heart, but I’m tired…

A breath hangs in the air. Some rustle of cloth, as though someone had adjusted so you fit together. A soft sigh.                 YOU (O.S.) Good night, Kwannie.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         …Good night, darling. End.

note. are the screenplay bits from the short film? the raw sd card clips? his memories? distorted memories? guess we'll never know. nonlinear bc grief is nonlinear. pls tell me your thoughts (even/esp if u didn't get the story lol) take care of yourselves always <3

[brother-genitivi]

woe!! Destan and Sebastian be upon ye!!

beautifully illustrated by my wonderful friend @forystr (WHO ALSO HAS COMMS OPEN RIGHT NOW YOU SHOULD GET ONE WINK WONK)

his comm links are here and here :)

[aprilblossomgirl]

Hey? I thought you were with Jun. I cleared things up with him already, but I’ve got a new problem now. What is it? I don’t have your number. Huh?

ThamePo Heart That Skips a Beat | Ep.03

[having-conniptions]

Oh wow so Fadel really just said "now that I have conformation my boyfriend is a snitch I gotta slow dance with him and tell him I'm in love with him and live in my delulu for a bit longer before all of this blows up"

He "knows" it's "not real" but he'd rather keep pretending because it feels better than anything he's ever felt and he's feeling more alive than he's ever felt and maybe he can at least enjoy this moment for a little bit longer

[through-a-blackhole]

I think the most heartbreaking part of this is because in the first picture, that’s Future Natsu doing the forehead touch with Future Lucy, and he promises her that they’ll be okay.

But in the second picture, that’s Present Natsu doing the forehead touch with Future Lucy. Present Natsu who had no idea that Future Natsu did that with Future Lucy. He did that gesture out of his own love and gratitude to Future Lucy for going back in time to protect their future.

And the reason Future Lucy is crying in the second picture is because she remembers how her Natsu from the Future did the exact same thing. And her Natsu is dead. And this one, still alive, made her remember how her Natsu did this gesture and she lost him after.

In this one shot alone, you can see the love, sadness, gratitude, and fear that Future Lucy and Present Natsu is experience.

And I just love them so much more for it.

[shiloriin]

And when you kiss my wounds,

I don’t feel as unworthy

of you.

[faembrosia]

No matter how the rest of the Prime show plays out, ghoulcy will forever be this in my heart--

Coop, mid-coitus, because in Lucy's own words sex is a healthy and relaxing way to strengthen their relationship as partners: "... I wonder if she has feelings for me."

Lucy, being lulled to sleep at night by Cooper playing her favorite show-tunes on guitar, after which he cleans and loads her weapons and mends the holes in her clothes, taking first watch so she can have plenty of time to rest: "... I wonder if he has feelings for me."

[wexhappyxfew]

"Hello, love! Could you please write from seeking out physical affection”, specifically comparing hand sizes, holding their hands against each other's, and then just holding hands” Could you also add a kiss on the cheek? For Judy and Rosie.

Tarzan and Jane vibes!

P.S Resending this, because I forgot to say that it is for Judy and Rosie 😆

Love you ❤️

AH HELLO!!!!! thank you so so much for sending this in! both you and @archival-hogwash sent in Judy x Rosie for this AND the same prompt so i hope you *both* enjoy this one!!!! i certainly had a GREAT time writing this, as i haven't done judy x rosie in what feels like AGES!!!!! SO!!! this is probably one of my favorite things for judy and rosie because we really get into their connection on multiple levels, along with their emotions and a piece purely focused on them. i would say this is purely self-indulgent on my part haha! so, i truly hope you enjoy! <3 THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN BOTH OF YOU!! :D

know it's you

(a/n): to the judy x rosie girlies, your joy and support and love for this duo has truly transcended, and so this piece is for you! judy rybinski is an OC i hold incredibly near and dear to my heart and it seems she's made quite the impact as well. plus - her and rosie make my heart melt and there's a whole lot of that here. so please, truly, enjoy! :) definitely love the jane/tarzan vibes in the gifs too hehe - that's so them in ways!!! AND -- to the judy anons earlier talking and asking about judy's past, we see a bit of why that is important to her character right here! ps — there’s some intimacy here but nothing super intense past that! just incase there are some not interested parties!

The barracks were much emptier these days - it still housed the Silver Bullets group, but with them 40% down their normal crew, which was now dispersed halfway across continental Europe, with the other 60% obtaining various positions in the air and on base - quiet was the new normal.

It was an off day and Judy hadn't been one to complain - they'd been doing missions and training relentlessly for days and by this point, to say the exhaustion wasn't getting to her would be a whole other level of lying lunacy. She'd had dinner with the rest of the girls - Dougie joining in beside Carrie because ever since they'd seemed to silently make it official between them, they'd been attached at the hip when they didn't have to be apart.

By that point, everyone else had gone out to the flying club, but Judy wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and read the rest of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen - she'd gotten close to the part with the love confession - she could feel it.

Freshly showered, hair nearly dry as it clung to her nightshirt and neck, she sat crossed-legged sideways on her bed, back leaned up against the wall of the barracks, listening to the silent hum of all the bugs outside, the crackle of voices somewhere in the distance and the hum of the lantern light turned on beside her.

If this was peace, she never wanted to let go of it.

It was almost a weird comfort that reminded her of training days - first getting the group of women together when Birdie had called on a crew. Meeting the girls, hanging out late into their off-day nights, talking, hearing peoples' stories and backgrounds and family history. By that point, Judy had taken to wearing her PT shorts to bed with one of the pale wool button-ups that Birdie had requested for the crew. Now, cuddled with her blanket, her button-up and her book, she was as happy as a damn lark. A gentle knock came from the door.

"You in there, Judy?" the voice called through. The corner of Judy's lip drew upwards.

"Who's asking?" She knew. She always did. She grinned wider.

"Who do you think?" the voice called back, a slight chuckle on their lips.

"I don't know…."Judy called back, "kinda hard to distinguish entirely with a wooden door breaking up the noise." She heard the laugh behind the door and couldn't help but take a split-second to brush her lose strands of hair behind her ears and rub a bit underneath her eyes, hoping the dark circles weren't as big as they had been earlier.

"Am I good to come in?"

"All clear." Judy called back. The door slowly pushed open and Judy couldn't help but feel her heart spin a bit out of control at the sight of Rosie Rosenthal stepping inside, crusher cap perched on his head, layered in his A2 and button-up, that look on his face that was a mixture of soft worry and concern all at once.

"Hi." Judy said, watching as he shut the barrack door behind him, waltzing over towards her with that silent look on his face and lips.

"Hey." he said back, pulling over one of the chairs from a table and placing it beside her cot and settling himself into the chair comfortably before leaning forward, "You doing okay? Didn't see you at the officers' club." She could feel the tension in her shoulders slowly unknotting at his worrying question, watching him peel off the A2 and crusher cap; it only took her a matter of seconds to slowly nod, a small smile on her face as she tilted her head.

"Yes," she said quietly, "just didn't feel up for being out tonight, I'll be honest. What about you though?" Rosie watched her as she let her eyes gently draw over his entire face, taking in each aspect of his eyes, his cheeks, his lips that made her feel all over the place on the inside. He grinned.

"Well, I'm glad you're here then," he said quietly with a nod, "sometimes you need a night away." She grinned. "I was at the officers' club. But, I don't know….didn't feel up for being out tonight. Wanted to come and see what you were up to." Judy let out a laugh and gently closed her book and leaned towards him over her crossed legs with a smile.

"Thanks for joining me then," Judy said, "can't promise to be as much entertainment as Dougie thinking he can dance, but….I can tell some pretty good campfire stories around the potbelly stove, I must admit." Rosie chuckled at her words, before looking up at her with a quiet look on his face, blue eyes watching her intently.

Rosie Rosenthal was like that though - he knew there was more behind it. He always did and with the way his mood had shifted, she knew in an instance that he'd been worrying for her longer than just the past hour when he came to see her. He could be in the flying club with the rest of the crews, drinking, having a grand old time, but instead he was here. With her.

"Just you here?" Rosie asked her, a slight tinge of concern in his voice and Judy nodded.

"It's okay," Judy said, looking down at her nails and picking at the edges of them with a shrug, "the other girls needed a night and I just wasn't feeling it. Didn't want them to miss out though. And sometimes just being here is what I need." Judy nodded towards the four usually empty and fresh-made cots. "Sometimes it's like they're here, ya know?"

They glanced towards the footlockers and cots across from Judy - mainly at the end of what was still Lieutenant Bradshaw's cot. Francis generally didn't allow anyone to touch it, open it, hardly even look at it. She always told people that they were coming back - if there was no word on any of the missing members of Silver Bullets or their bodies - they weren't dead. It'd be there until they got back. And Judy always believed Francis, she always did.

Judy couldn't help but feel her emotions wrangle with her heart as she stared at those four lone footlockers, untouched for months, cots forever-made on that last morning they'd been here.

The chair screeched slightly closer and she felt warmth overwhelm her hands, Rosie's large palms taking her small fists into his own hands, the nerves and tension immediately seeming to dissipate. Looking back towards him, she couldn't help but feel a small smile grow on her face, his face inches from her own.

"They're still out there," Rosie whispered quietly, his thumb running circles underneath the knuckles on her left hand, "I know that." Judy slowly nodded, knowing her words would fail her if she tried to talk. Rosie seemed to catch that in a matter of seconds and let out a deep breath.

"Tell me about what you were reading," he said quietly, nearly therapeutically, "that's a good one."

"You've read it?"

"I have." Rosie said, his voice a soothing sound to her ears, "When you have sisters, they convince you to read books like that." Judy gave him a look and he chuckled. "Didn't complain, I promise." Judy laughed lightly, eyes growing soft at his gaze on her as she smiled lazily.

"Mr. Darcy has just confessed his love for Elizabeth Bennet." Judy said quietly, retracting one of her hands to reach up and brush her fingers past some of his lose curls near his forehead, smiling slightly at the chill racing across his body underneath her touch, the way his eyes shut slightly and a small breath left his lips, "I would say it didn't entirely go as planned, but it has been one of my favorite things to read, I must say."

"You think it's a good book so far?" he asked her quietly, and she nodded, hand continuing to slowly careen back and forth over those few curls on his forehead.

"It blows some other books I've read out of the water." she said and she watched as he grinned, his eyes refusing to leave hers as he continued to watch her, the two of them falling into silence.

Watching each other in this quiet way was far more intimate than anything else she'd experienced in life and she hadn't experienced much. Her hand running through his hair, his hands holding her other, inches from each other's faces. Inches.

They each seemed to linger closer to one another, their eyes holding one another's gazes and she found herself welcoming his touch up onto her neck, the warmth making her whole body feel as if it were on fire.

It was always this.

Never touching this way, but still going to an extent before they'd back away. But now, they were alone and it was a warm, spring night and it was different; she wanted to feel something different than grief and loss.

Feeling his fingers grow up her neck towards her cheeks, her eyes shut at his touch; it was a little crazy to think about how close they were, his touch on her neck and face, breath fanning across her face. Maybe this crush wasn't as stupid as she had thought it to be. She was scared to open her eyes that had since closed and look at him, feeling his continual warm breath inches from her lips.

Kiss me, her voice seemed to whisper inside her head, please kiss me. His thumb brushed her warm cheek and she shivered a bit at the touch.

"You're shaking." Rosie whispered, and she shivered again, her heart racing inside her chest. She couldn't look at him. She couldn't do it.

"You make me nervous." she whispered back, her voice sounding light, almost like she was floating. Slowly, she opened her eyes - he was right there. He was so close, staring at her face like she was staring at something holy. His eyes were beautiful so close to her face, deep and caring and full. She had never been touched by someone like him, cared for, held and loved by.

"May I kiss you?" he whispered, his own voice sounding strained, "Please?"

"Please do." she whispered and it was in what felt like milliseconds where she was engulfed by him. His arms wrapped around her back, pulling her into him, his lips pressing earnestly against her own, her body snaking into his lap on the chair and her hands crawling into his hair and messing up those curls that were so perfectly done day in and day out.

Judy melted into him, his hands going up her back into her neckline, her body hot all over the place it felt as he tugged at her bottom lip, a small sigh escaping as she pressed her lips back to his.

It was such a quick-paced and desperate array of kisses - something she had never even experienced in her life. Rosie made a noise at the back of his throat, which made Judy pull back for a second, almost caught off guard - she'd never done this before, what was she even doing - were her hands in the right place? Could she even kiss well enough for it to be worth it? Did it mean anything? For him? For her? For them?

"Hey, you okay?" managed Rosie, trying to catch his breath, his lips a deep red - she realized she'd been sucking a bit on his bottom lip - his cheeks an equally similar color.

"Yeah, yeah," Judy said, her body clinging onto him with her arms and legs latched around his frame, "fine, this….wow."

Words, Judy, words.

It was so intimate to be so close to his face, almost like it was some secret thing no one had ever gotten the pleasure of doing before. She stared at him and watched as he licked his lips and glanced at her lips.

"Just…." Judy started as he watched her, his hands softly clinging to her back, his fingertips sending sparks along the fabric atop her skin, "I…..I've never been like this with someone."

"Like this?" Rosie whispered back, reaching up a hand to clutch at her cheek, brushing her flaming skin and smiling. Judy nodded.

"This….close." Judy whispered, "But for the first time in my life, I trust someone to be like this with." Rosie stared at her, a tender look on his face.

"I feel safe with you." Judy said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. Rosie continued to watch her and then smiled.

"Thank you." he whispered softly back, "I feel safe with you, too." Judy felt her heart skip a beat - multiple beats if anything - and smiled.

Within seconds of such a thing to say, Judy was kissing him, wrapping her body around him, pulling her hands up through his hair, every part of her body feeling her heart continuing to race faster and faster.

There was a deep-seeded need, but gentleness that came with his touch to her lips, the exhaustion of the day ever-present, but the want to feel showing in ways she couldn't quite understand as he deepened the kiss there in front of the fire. He slowly bit at her bottom lip as they parted, the two of them shaking, deep labored breaths escaping their lips as Judy slowly looked upwards towards Rosie, staring at his eyes in the quiet darkness that evaded nearly all the light. Judy's hands slowly moved down from his hair to his olive button-up, her fingertips dancing on the buttons.

"Do it." Rosie whispered, his breathing heavy, "It's yours." Just those words seemed to flip a switch in her head as she slowly, button by button undid both the shirt and him.

As she came to the bottom, his bare chest began to show and she slowly let her hands move towards his shoulders, peeling the fabric from his form, down his arms and to the ground. Her body was on fire, as she looked back up towards him, staring at her with those darkened blue eyes that made her go slightly insane. His hands lingered on her waist, hers on his now bare arms, their bated breath held for a moment as they watched one another.

Every movement made her want more, every look, every touch.

Everything made her live with want. Her hands slowly trailed down to his own hands, which felt like they were equally on fire, and she slowly guided them to the front of her wool button-up.

"Judy…." Rosie whispered. She slowly looked up and met his firm gaze and she sucked in a breath. It was so insanely attractive to her to know he was looking at her like this. She leaned slightly closer, still holding his hands to the buttons and watched his gaze.

"Will you help me?" she whispered.

"Yes." Rosie said, almost without any hesitation and immediately began unbuttoning her top, her heart pounding, the need growing.

As soon as the button on the bottom was undone, the top slid off her shoulders to expose her bare chest - and if she was honest, her rather sorry-excuse of a bra - his lips were pressing on her own and goosebumps danced over her skin at the slightly cool air and his touch. His lips were so gentle and soft, placed there on her own, a distant hunger behind each deepening of touch that made her crave more.

Taking in a shuddering breath, his lips moved to a tender spot on her neck and a small noise in the back of her throat escaped - it was almost so light-hearted as Rosie pulled back and softly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and chuckled that soft, breathy laugh.

"You okay?" he whispered and she looked to him, a smile on her breathless face as she looked at him.

"Yeah," she whispered shakily, "yeah. Wow." Rosie smiled at her through the darkness before slowly leaning forward and bringing her into another kiss, him biting her lip, a groan from the back of his throat and a whimper from her own mouth.

The slight grind of his body against hers was making it much harder to just focus on him and his lips. He was kissing her neck again, his lips exploring the whole of her neck, arching down to her collarbone as her eyes shut and far too many pleasant thoughts entered her brain. She was unbecoming in front of him, as he clung to her in a God-like way.

Slowly, Rosie shifted, clutching her to him and moving her to the cot, the blanket soft on her back as he laid her there and then pressed down onto her, his larger form a comforting weight there on top of her.

God, if someone walked in now, what would she say?

But, it was Rosie.

With Rosie, she was safe.

Rosie sucked on her neck, before pulling back for a second, his entire body shuttering as he looked towards her and then smiled, hovering overtop of her and softly kissing her forehead.

"You're one of the most beautiful women I've ever met." he whispered softly, eyes honest, almost like he spoke and got choked up in the middle and recovered.

"Thank you." she whispered back, her own throat choking up as she stared at him, the light from the lantern tickling his features, making his face a honey gold.

No one ever had told her such things, touching her and holding her as gently as he had, caring for her like he did. Rosie smiled and then Judy followed, a giggle along with it. Then, they were kissing, their bodies pressed against each other again.

At some point, his lips were on her collarbone and her lips had traversed his face and neck and then they were curled into each other's bodies, as he traced her bare back with a warm finger and she stared at his soft, cuddly face that she planted a kiss to every so often.

Rosie Rosenthal was shy when he wanted to be, but he was nowhere shy about where he wanted to put his hands and mouth.

But in this moment, quiet and intimate, all she could do was watch him.

"I'll admit, I've never been like this with someone," she whispered quietly as his light finger touch sent chills down her spine, "I'm sorry if my kissing didn't offer much." Rosie watched her and then shook his head with a playful scoff, and continued tracing her back.

"Don't say that," Rosie whispered quietly and then brought his lips to her ear, "your lips were reverent."

Judy could feel her body get hot just at his words and slowly turned to look at him as they lied there under the blanket. Her heart pounded as her cheeks grew hot, staring at his devastatingly handsome face watch her right back, like he could see all of her - which in ways, he definitely could.

She leaned forward and captured his lips again in hers, hungrily deepening the kiss, both their lips red and swollen as she bit down tenderly and a groan filled his mouth. She was sinking underneath him as he deepened the kiss against her lips this time. His warm hands were dancing across her bare-skinned chest and eventually reached the waistline of her shorts.

And the second she felt a finger on her waistline, her entire body grew cold and froze. She stopped kissing him, her lips growing shut, her eyes blasted wide-open and her shoulders immediately tense. Rosie pulled back in an instant, his hands on her cheeks gently, his own eyes open above her, worry pooling in his blue eyes as he looked down.

"You okay, Judy?" he whispered quietly, slightly out of breath, "We can stop." Judy looked at him, her eyes suddenly filling with tears she hadn't quite expected.

She didn't want to cry, why was she crying. No, no, no.

"Oh, hey, hey, c'mere." Judy put a hand over her mouth, Rosie coming off the top of her, reaching over the edge of the bed to grab his collared button-up. As tears grew down her cheeks, Rosie gently guided her arms into the long sleeves of his button-up, pulling it overtop her bare shoulders, before slowly buttoning it up, button by button.

"C'mere, Judy." Rosie whispered quietly, positioning himself sitting up against the pillows on the cot, allowing her to curl into his body, head snuggled against his bare chest, comforted by his presence, the scent of his shirt that always smelled like that pleasant cologne he always wore, and the quietness of the world surrounding them, "You okay, Jude?"

Whenever he kept repeating her name, it always brought her back, it allowed her to ground herself and think and keep her mind clear. Because it usually meant he was trying to get through to her and calm her down. And it always worked.

Judy could feel his hand around her waist, his other hand gently brushing through her hair, over and over in the most soothing manner. A mixture of embarrassment and guilt hit her in that moment curled beside him.

Would he think that he'd done something wrong?

Would he not like her because she couldn't do it?

Whatever it really was?

Would he think she was too inexperienced and naive?

Would he-?

"I'm sorry," she whispered out against his chest, the tears continuing to well in her eyes as she let out a shaky breath, "I just….it's me."

"No, no, it's okay," Rosie whispered quietly above her, gently pressing a kiss to her head - she could hear the smile in his voice, "it's okay." Judy snuggled closer into him and let out another shaky sigh.

"I'm not ready," she whispered through tears, "to do that yet. I'm sorry."

"No, no," Rosie said quietly - quickly, "don't apologize. You don't have to apologize to me, okay? Or…better yet, at all. You're ready when you're ready and if it's not yet, that's okay." Judy slowly peaked up at him, red-rimmed eyes, her nose probably getting drippy, looking far less unpleasant than she had earlier.

"Are you sure?" she asked him quietly and he gave her the sweetest smile she'd ever seen.

"I am." he said quietly, reaching up to brush at some tears on her cheeks, "I just want to be with you, Judy, that's all. In anyway I can." Her heart released the tension it had held for a brief moment and she nodded, a small smile peaking out.

"There's that grin," he whispered, pressing another kiss to her forehead this time, "there it is." Judy smiled wider and couldn't help but press closer to him, trying to gain access to every part of him there, curled into him in anyway she could. In a quick second though - she came quickly to the realization of what had just occurred and looked up at him.

Kissing him, kissing Rosie Rosenthal, kissing him the way she had and him kissing her back with just as much desperation as she did to him.

"That was my first kiss." Judy whispered quietly, staring out in front of them, towards where the sun had finally set out that little window, "My first….anything like that."

Maybe Judy should've held off saying that because Rosie froze there beside her, the hand on her hair going still, the hand on her waist tightening. She slowly peaked up at him and saw him watching her, a mixture of worry and concern mixed in his eyes and maybe a slight bit of nervousness that wasn't there before? She sat up a bit, and reached forward with her free hand that wasn't tucked against her body and lightly brushed her fingers against his face, smiling automatically, his own grin growing on his face afterwards.

"I'm…quite honored to be your first, Judy." he said quietly, the nervousness in his voice probably one of the cutest things she'd heard in a while, "Firsts are always special, so…."

"You always make everything special for me, you know that?" she said quietly, tilting her head against him, "That was really special though. Truly." Rosie watched her with that soft grin and she couldn't help but lean forward and press a soft kiss to his lips, the quickness of the familiarity of his lips almost insane to her - that her body could so instantly store in her mind the touch and feel of his lips just like that, his presence, his touch, him. Pulling back slightly, she watched him.

"Even if my first didn't…..go all the way, I guess." she said.

A few years ago, she remembered when all the towns girls would talk about their firsts - she remembered some were even getting married or having their first born! And there'd been Judy, waiting and waiting. Feeling left behind, embarrassed, too quiet not to say anything, too much of an outlier to say that she felt she was behind in the first place.

In her mind, she knew she was being too hard on herself, but it was something about her past few years that did it to her. But Rosie was stopping that and telling her there was no rush - he just wanted to be there. With her. And that was more important than anything.

"It doesn't have to," Rosie said quietly, cupping her cheek and smiling tenderly, "it doesn't need to. It's whatever you want it to be. And to even just….know it's you…." Judy watched him, eyes darting back and forth between his eyes as her cheeks slowly heated, despite the realization she'd been heavily making out with him moments earlier. He'd probably always have that effect on her.

"Know it's me?" she whispered. Rosie smiled, lovingly running his hand back through her hair before coming to dote underneath her chin, raising it up gently and pressing a kiss to her lips.

"Yes." he said quietly.

"What does that mean?" He watched her and grinned again.

"Ask me again in a few months." he whispered back to her, pressing another kiss to her forehead, making her feel all warm and fuzzy. Slowly, he held up his hand and she reached out her own hand to press against his - she giggled.

"Your hand is so big, Rosie, God," she said with a laugh, hearing his chuckle from somewhere above her, "mine is so tiny."

"It's cute." he whispered quietly, clasping his fingers around her hand, holding it there against his chest.

Staring at their intertwined hands against his chest, an aggressive feeling for him suddenly took shape and she realized how quick it was that it was in fact the feeling of genuine love.

Affection.

Adoration.

Love. For someone like him. For every part of him in every way.

Judy looked up at him, meeting his gaze again there in the lantern light and couldn't help it as she leaned towards him and lovingly pressed a kiss to his lips that slowly got deepened and rather emotional and slow and infused with a tenderness that she'd never felt before. It was slow movements, their heads and lips moving in unison, breaking every so often for a collection of air, before connecting again, their noses brushing, bits of laughter escaping every so often. Judy couldn't help but laugh at how ticklish his mustache was against her upper lip. It was all so gentle and peaceful - she had never felt so at peace with someone like this.

"If one of the girls came in now…."Judy whispered, before breaking into a laugh, "I'd probably never live it down." Rosie let out a small chuckle and shook his head against her softly, before pressing another kiss to her lips.

"You're something else, Judy Rybinski," he said quietly, eyes meeting hers again and she couldn't help but swell with emotion, "ever since I met you. Something special."

[missmungoe]

“You’re such a pretty man,” Makino sighed, touching her fingertips to his cheek, before rubbing his beard with her thumb. “Your wife is very lucky. Oh—hey.” Her whole expression brightened, her smile entirely cheeky. “That’s me.”

Shanks grinned, delighted. “You are absolutely hammered, aren’t you?”

“Hmm, I think I’m about to be.” She frowned. “Wait—was that not a euphemism?”

My masked Zorro, the unbelievably generous and tantalisingly mysterious Cover Anon, sweeps in once more with another gorgeous cover from Shanties, this time for Penelope (aka, the wedding fic, my beloved), by the incredible @sacred_pirate on twitter.

I...don't know how it's possible to capture the way a fic exists in my mind so perfectly it's like the artist reached into my soul, and yet that's what this feels like. This is one of the most beautiful artworks I've ever seen, and I can't believe it's from my fic, and this fic.

[goatsandgangsters]

I finished A Power Unbound and now I'm having a happy little sob about it and feeling many Big Emotions that I'm incoherently blubbering about and only managing to express as a joyfully tearful "it was beautiful"

[dankest-of-lies]

last 2 pages of the official mysterious skin script: (see previous post for the other pages)

[bunnyboy-juice]

blah blah blah blah blah