#crunchy chick
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beneathsilverstars · 3 months ago
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bonus euphrasie! she owns the coffee shop, and she's on the board of the local house of change. the change religion is still a thing in this au, and houses offer classes, resources like tools/clothes/books, and counseling/advising. they're a bit underfunded these days, but still very helpful, if you don't mind the religious slant.
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kiwanopie · 7 months ago
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I love this man and I love his nose, but do you think it would hurt his feelings if he found out that that was the topic of like all of his fanart/fanfics
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spurgie-cousin · 1 year ago
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Well chick fil a must've taken one day off from hoping gay people are wiped from the earth, bc the trad girlies are MAD
The sad news for them unfortunately is that it appears most fried chicken places recognize the profitability of being inclusive and (absolute shocker coming brace yourselves) care more about that money than any of these bigots feelings.
Edit to add context (thank you @meowlizziemixer for the explanation in tags, hope you don't mind if I add!):
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mythrilskirt · 11 months ago
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How did people even end up getting obsessed with minthara. Flooed it.
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outtheoiseaux · 7 months ago
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Is Adam Faulkner-Stanheight really the token SAW gay the community thinks he is, or can we as a collective just not accept the reality of Lawrence Gordon being the REAL token gay?
Adam flirts w rockstar looking girls he sees in the hallway of his apartment and dates crunchy vegan chicks. Lawrence willingly cheats on his stunning, perfect, 10/10, beautiful wife and gently caresses the face of the scandalously young men he shoots in dinghy bathrooms. Which one of those sounds gayer?
He’s not the homo we want, but he’s the homo we deserve.
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unfinishedsweaters · 13 days ago
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this is now available for sale as a sample piece, and I also updated all the pattern page photos. I did not update the pattern, though, and won’t have time this month; this was early work, so I think I’ll put the .PDF on sale for now.
What yarn/which color did you use for the orange/grey circle scarf?
Thanks for the ask! That one is all handspun, which I know makes for a potentially unsatisfying answer.
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It’s made from a base of natural grey merino for one, and some commercially-dyed merino top blended together for the other. Both yarns have some little textural inclusions—definitely some sari silk thread cuttings and probably some hemp or other plant fibers.
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(Photo above is a little silly, but the threads in the plain grey make me pretty happy for some reason and I want (general) you to see them.)
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(Plus every time I take photos of this thing, I feel like I’m getting closer to figuring out a vest based around the same lines. Might have to try to re-create the yarn when I can, so I could get the same contrast bands.)
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bumblesimagines · 3 months ago
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The Deal
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Request: Yes or No
Summary: When Pope needs some extra cash, he takes up the opportunity of helping others with their studies. However, things take a turn when he decides to help out a known troublemaker.
Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader
CW/TW: Typical OBX warnings, teasing over virginity, (Y/N)'s kinda an asshole, mentions/implied JJPope (should've been canon), implied bisexual JJ, Pope is bisexual and possibly ooc,
Super short but felt like doing something with sweet ole Pope
~~~
(Y/N) watched with a lazy grin as Mrs. Heyward shuffled into the room with a charcuterie board in hand, her smile big and warm and utterly welcoming as she carefully set the food down on an empty part of Pope's desk. Her son rolled his lips into his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut at her presence, his fingers rubbing into his forehead in pure embarrassment that only made (Y/N) snort quietly. Mrs. Heyward leaned back and clasped her hands together, her eyes crinkling when she faced them.
"There you go, sweetie. Eat as much as you want. You boys let me know if you need anything, 'kay?"
"Okay, Mom, thank you." Pope practically groaned, giving Mrs. Heyward a tight-lipped smile and watching her leave his bedroom while (Y/N) quietly snickered under his breath, his knuckles pressing into his lips to muffle the noise before it could reach the kind older woman's ears. Pope exhaled heavily and stood up to fully shut his door, ensuring to lock it before he returned to his bed and softly cleared his throat. "Sorry 'bout that." He muttered, swallowing down the mortification that'd filled him when his mother had strolled into the room.
"That was cute, Heyward." (Y/N) laughed, picking up a juicy apple slice and taking a bite from it, a bit of juice dripping off his bottom lip. Slowly chewing on the crunchy apple slice, he watched Pope retrieve some notebooks and flip through them until he reached his desired pages full of biology notes and some poorly drawn scribbles. He popped open the cap of his highlighter and took a peek through the pages of (Y/N)'s science notebook, unsurprisingly finding them mostly blank.
"Okay, so, uhm," Pope cleared his throat. "You know what monomers and polymers are, right?"
And right on cue, (Y/N) promptly zoned out and fully allowed his attention to shift onto the surprisingly semi-cluttered room of Pope 'Golden Boy' Heyward. He eyed the posters and drawings on the wall, some movies he recognized whilst others were characters from anime series with bulky muscled men and petite women.
(Y/N) shoved the rest of the slice into his mouth and squinted as he looked at the Polaroid pictures pinned to the wooden wall near him, recognizing a younger Pope with his parents in a few but JJ, Kiara, and John B were the subject of half of the pictures stuck around the walls of the room. 
Scooting his chair closer to the wall, he felt the corners of his lips curl up into gleeful mischief when he took note of the way Pope looked at Kiara in most pictures; softened adoring eyes, a gentle smile, the look of knowing written all over JJ's smirking face in each photo. Pope liked Kiara, (Y/N) realized, and spun the swivel chair around to look at him. He'd never seen Pope flirt properly before, only ever spewing random weird facts that had chicks furrowing their brows and walking away when they got the chance. 
"-dehydration synthesis is actually pretty cool if you think about it. Basically what happens is-"
"Heyward." (Y/N) purred, slowly rising from his chair and plucking another apple slice from the board. Pope's eyes darted away from his notebook to look at him questioningly, his body perking up and shoulders squaring as if awaiting (Y/N)'s question about whatever he'd spent the last few minutes blabbering about. (Y/N) popped the apple slice into his mouth and nudged the notebooks off the bed, letting them slip and fall onto the floor with soft thuds. "You're a total virgin, right?" 
Pope blinked at him, his mouth flying open and then slamming shut. He visibly gulped, his adams apple bobbing and eyes flickering away to bounce around different objects in his room. "N-No, I've... I've- I've-" Pope stuttered roughly, his grip on the notebook in hand tightening and crinkling the paper. "I'm- I-"
"Wow," (Y/N) snickered, snatching the notebook from his hand and dropping it onto the floor with a soft thud. Pope's hands were forced to rest over his thighs, fingers flexing and curling into fists. "Never even kissed anyone, have you, Heyward?" 
"Okay, what if I am? Virginty- Virginty is a construct."
"Sure, if it helps you sleep at night knowing even Routledge of all people has gotten laid before, it's totally a construct." (Y/N) laughed again, albeit more cruelly, and plopped down on the bed beside Pope's crossed legs with his head cocked to the side. "You can't leave high school a virgin with a face like that, Heyward. Besides, girls like guys who know what they're doing, trust me; I'm kind of an expert on this shit."
Pope grimaced. "Yeah, I've heard." He'd seen the pouty, sullen looks on the classmates he'd snatched up and then dropped once he bored of them. He'd even seen the occasional fight with a Kook when he slept with a taken rich girl. "It's- It's fine, I don't care. Peer pressuring someone to lose their virginity is something straight from an early 2000s movie."
"I'm not peer pressuring you, Heyward. I'm making fun of you." The shit-eating grin on (Y/N)'s face reminded him all too much of JJ. "But, because I am such a nice guy-"
"That's debatable."
"-I'm going to help you, Heyward." The grin grew at the bewildered look on Pope's face, his brows knitting tightly together and lips pulling into a line. Pope stared at him, his fingers rubbing into the fabric of his jeans, the contemplation clear in his eyes. "You think Kiara has time to teach someone how to please her?" 
"W-What? I-I don't like Kie! She's like- I-"
"I can teach you how to kiss someone properly. I've had plenty of practice since middle school." (Y/N) pressed the bottom of his sneaker into the heel of the other, pushing until the shoe fell onto the floor before ridding himself of the other one. He dragged himself further onto the bed and arched an expectant brow at the stammering boy until Pope shut his mouth and swallowed again. 
"I..." He trailed off, his eyes jumping toward the picture wall, his lips pressing together. 
"Come on, you wouldn't be the first of Routledge's minions I've made out with." (Y/N) revealed and Pope's considering gaze turned into surprise as his wide eyes darted back to him. "J and I make out drunk all the time. You should try it sometime when you're wasted and bored."
Pope would've been lying if he claimed he'd never thought of kissing the chaotic Maybank. Hell, sometimes he wondered what it'd be like to kiss John B; especially on lazy days when they lounged on the boat after a swim and the setting sun warmed John B's skin, making it glitter from the droplets of water while he stared off into the distance. With JJ, the thoughts emerged more often. JJ cared little for personal space, his hand or arm somehow managing to always press against one of the Pogues, and Pope often found his space invaded by the blond. He assumed it to be natural thoughts, but he wondered if his curiosity expanded past innocence. 
His skin simmered with heat, his hands curling into fists and his back straightening with determination. If JJ trusted him, so would Pope. He gave (Y/N) a firm nod and braced himself, his eyes squeezing shut and cheeks flaring with heat when (Y/N) giggled.
The bed shifted and creaked with movement, his eyes parting immediately when he felt hands grasping at his crossed legs and pulling them apart. (Y/N) hardly gave him time to question before pressing their lips together, his hand slipping toward Pope's hip and squeezing lightly; the scent of cigarette smoke clinging to (Y/N)'s clothes filling Pope's nose.
"Relax." He murmured into Pope's mouth, half-lidded eyes finally shutting and lips pressing harder against Pope. 
Slowly, Pope forced himself to relax, his body slumping back against the pillow that began pressing into his back when (Y/N) pushed him into lying back. His lips felt soft, if not a bit chapped and sticky from the apple slices, and Pope felt a surge of insecurity bubble in his stomach at his blatant inexperience. His hands awkwardly fumbled around until he pressed them against (Y/N)'s sides, finding himself fully unsure of what else to do besides pressing back into his lips. 
"There you go," (Y/N) cooed and the way his heart skipped a beat at the praise made Pope want to bury his face into his pillows. The top of (Y/N)'s thighs pressed into the bottom of Pope's, his knees sinking into the mattress as he began adjusting his position. He moved fully on top of him, propping his upper half up by bracing himself against his elbow. His fingers took Pope's chin and lightly squeezed. "Open."
With a face set ablaze, Pope meekly parted his lips and shut his eyes again. (Y/N) kissed him again, his lips wrapping around Pope's bottom one and teeth digging lightly into him, an action that shot heat down his spine before he mushed their lips further together. Their teeth almost clacked together as Pope weakly began mimicking (Y/N)'s movements, a muffled noise leaving him when their tongues collided and he tasted the apple juice on his tongue. 
(Y/N) pulled back after a minute or two, a short string of saliva connecting them and quiet panting leaving them both. Pope's fingers dipped under the hem of (Y/N)'s shirt, carefully massaging his flesh as he attempted to ground his spinning, light-headed brain. He stared up at the ceiling of his room, chest heaving with pants and lips slick with salvia. 
"Did- Did you know-" He paused to catch his breath again. "-that kissing releases a multitude of chemicals in your brain-"
"Oh, Jesus, Pope." (Y/N) dropped his head down onto the soft pillow beside Pope, his breath fanning against Pope's ear and making goosebumps rise along his arms. "If you want to nerd out, use it as a segway into kissing."
"I'm surprised you know what segway means."
"Fuck you." (Y/N) laughed, light and breathless. "I'm not dumb; school is just boring."
Pope traced the lines in the slanted wooden ceiling over them, his hands squeezing (Y/N)'s sides when an idea struck him. "Yeah? What if... what if it wasn't boring?" Pope tilted his head to look at him, their noses brushing against each other and a smile spreading across his lips. "I can teach you something about biology and in return, you can teach me something I can do to- to... to my future girlfriend, or something." 
"Mm," (Y/N) grinned, a quiet chuckle leaving him. "You've got a deal, then."
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fashionteahouse · 15 days ago
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you know that sound in TikTok for steve harvey in family feud
when he says "tell me something you like your girlfriend to do to your face " and the other says "set on it"???????????
i reaallyyy can image paul would say something like this to reader😭😭😭😭
haha yesss and i always see the chick dressed up as steve harvey dropping into a split on my fyp😭 hope you enjoy :)
super freak - paul x reader
The wind was blowing cold as teeth were clenched from the bitterness of the air. Loud crunchy footsteps followed after one another as you and Paul both walked through the winter snow.
Paul, due to his supernatural body warmth, wasn’t fazed at all by the cold. He tried his best to warm you up in the cold by keeping you close to him.
Finding a big pile of snow, a mischievous grin appears on his face as you focused on the white road ahead of you. You both were almost home.
He leaves your side and you watch him closely as he takes two hands and scoop the snow. He cakes it into a ball and thought it was a super fun, great idea to throw it on your coat covered back.
“Stop!” you hiss at him as he laughs.
“Come on, let’s have a snowball fight.” he tells you, and scoops some more into his hot hands.
“No.” you raise an eyebrow as he pats some snow into another ball, “If you throw that, I swear!” You threaten but lands on your arm. You squeal while he bends over laughing.
You take your mitten covered hands and ball some snow, it’s not as big as his. You hold it, intentionally ready to aim the snow ball at his face.
“Tell me something you like your girlfriend to do to your face.” you say, raising your arm to get the perfect aim, readying your throw.
“Sit on it?” he answers back and you groan as you throw it but he ducks just in time while laughing.
“You’re such a freak!” you say to him, trying to keep your own face serious. He scoops up another ball with a smirk on his face.
You scoop more snow to throw another ball at him but only some of it hits his arm and he throws and it hits the side of your face.
“A super freak at that!” you hiss at him, feeling the ice cold sensation.
He walks back over to you but you try to push him away and walk on your own but he pulls you close to him.
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep you nice and warm when we get home.” he says to you, wiping the residue of snow off of you.
“You better.” you tell him.
He laughs a bit and keeps his arm around your shoulders, you already feel the warmth travel to your body as the house comes into view.
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chick-it-out · 12 days ago
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Chick or treat!
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Stumpy the silkie rooster says treat plz
hi stumpy i hope you like crunchy grapes !!!
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elfhunk · 25 days ago
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mfw i eat 100 crunchy chicks in fable the lost chapters
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mercurygray · 2 months ago
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Let's hear about this pairing from the groupchat!
This textpost (which is NSFW) crossed the groupchat's dash, as things do, and the question was raised about who this would apply to, and someone offered a pairing I had not previously considered, which is:
Red and Marion and Harding.
Which is crunchy, at least to me, because it seems to me that were this to work, Red and Harding would have to be a thing first. Two older men who figure out they both bat for the same team blowing off a little bit of steam overseas, and in the course of this making a note that their very attractive coworker seems to fancy one or both of them, and wondering what they can do with that.
What this means, of course, is that now I am writing Red x Harding, kind of for...establishing background purposes. (Chick seems to be very bisexual, Marion is aware of how the world works, and Red seems along for the ride.)
So again, I need everyone to make a note:Merc is pretty much writing a rarepair.
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xxx-sir-pentious-xxx · 3 months ago
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Pentious killing and eating rodent sinners
The smaller sinners often flocked to a special bar, a hole in the wall as it were. Tonight was rodents only night, free drinks for rodents one night only.
The bar was packed to the gills needless to say, not knowing how astronomically fucked they were. Sir Pentious had paid the owner off, 60,000 dollars just to stage this event so he could "accidentally" be locked into the bar full of rodent sinners.
Once the very last rodent came inside he went inside letting the bouncer out who promptly locked the front doors. It took 5 minutes for everyone to notice Pentious and respond to the shift in tone knowing what was about to happen. He was ready, wasnt even wearing a shirt as he knew how bloody this was going to get.
Pentious lunged and grabbed rodent after rodent just ripping them in half and eating them each like bon bons.
"Ooo~ you're nice and chewy~ mmmm your crunchy and a bit nutty..~"
He happily took his time undressing them each like unwrapping a candy bar, occasionally laughing at what the shirts they wore said,
"Oh heres a funny one, 'FunSized' yeah ya all are! Hmm.. oh, I dont give a rats ass, thats a good one!"
One rodent chick was livestreaming as Pentious kept eating covered in blood and gore dripping down his bare chest. Eventually he got to the one recording everything and just dug into his meal, snatching her phone throwing it to the side still recording her as he ripped into her body and ate her alive. Even if it was just the audio of her lone screaming of pain and calling him a monster.
He was very full by the end and he almost couldn't get through the door.
Everyone would remember him as the monster that ate roughly 28 sinners in a span of 2 hours beating Alastors record or really any cannibals record.
It made it on the news forever leaving rodent sinners on edge until the day he died and went to heaven.
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takerfoxx · 11 months ago
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All right, if ao3 is down, I'm posting this instead!
So, this are a couple of KyoSaya-themed scenes from that one Madoka Magica poly fic I've been working on, probably will not finish, and almost definitely will not post in its entirety, but here you go. Enjoy your Kyoko X Sayaka sexytimes!
Quick background note: whole team contracts and teams up early, nobody dies, and Hitomi finds out what's going on and joins the team as their healer.
Kyoko found Sayaka sitting all by herself at a train boarding station.
Sayaka was sitting slumped on the bench, head listlessly swaying this way and that. She was in a bad way; Kyoko could tell that immediately. True, Sayaka had been slowly deteriorating ever since her would-be boytoy had ducked both her and Hitomi by hooking up with some random third girl that Kyoko hadn’t even heard of, but this was bad even by those standards.
Truthfully, Kyoko had been mightily relieved when she had heard the news. It wasn’t even anyone any of them knew, but someone that the dude had met while in physical therapy at the hospital. Apparently, the chick had her legs broken when a stairwell had collapsed out from under her or some shit like that, and she and What’s-His-Name had gotten to talking while recuperating. Also apparently she had double the initiative of either Sayaka or Hitomi, as she had just straight up asked him out when they were both due to be released.
And Kyoko had rejoiced! Having her two boneheaded teammates pining for the same guy had been nothing short of insufferable. Hell, it wasn’t like she would be working with either of them by choice; Mami was the only reason she put up with them. Madoka was honestly okay, and Homura might be all sorts of creepy and weird, but she was Kyoko’s kind of creepy and weird. But Sayaka and Hitomi? Sayaka was a stubborn jackass who thought she knew better than the two-year veteran while Hitomi reminded Kyoko too much of the sort of spoiled rich girl that would turn her nose up at Kyoko back when she and her family were on the streets. Some had gone to Papa’s church. None had lifted a finger to help when things had gotten bad.
So yeah, she really didn’t start off liking them. So maybe if they were no longer obsessed with the same sack of meat, maybe they would be marginally less annoying. Kyoko couldn’t believe that Sayaka had wasted her wish on that guy.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t what had happened. Instead of getting over themselves and letting them concentrate on the battle ahead, they had only gotten all mopey and sulky, which was somehow even more annoying!
Or at least, Hitomi had. Sayaka…just seemed to crack, like something inside her had broken. She started to get more and more reckless during battles, ranting at length about a bunch of bullshit and just walking off without talking when the fight was over. And didn’t that just figure? She had held it together through selling her soul, fighting monsters, finding out the truth of the monsters, having to confess everything to her parents when they had unexpectedly dropped into some kind of dinner party, having her romantic rival suddenly join the team, and this was what got to her? Sheesh.
But to be truthful, there was another reason that Kyoko had been so happy when Violin-Boy had been taken off the board, and so upset when Sayaka had only gotten worse. It wasn’t one she was particularly thrilled about, it wasn’t one she would even admit out loud, but damn it, it was there, and it was growing. And it was the main reason she just couldn’t let Sayaka go be miserable alone.
Sighing, Kyoko walked up to her. “Hey,” she said. “This seat taken?”
Sayaka’s head almost imperceptivity moved toward her, and she gave the smallest of shrugs. Good enough.
Kyoko plopped down next to her. Popping the top off of the tube of chips she had brought, she tossed a couple into her mouth and started munching on the crunchy, salty goodness.
“You know, you got everyone all worked up,” she said after swallowing. “Pinkie’s worried sick about you. Honestly, isn’t she going through enough? And ol’ Mami’s working herself into a fit. Don’t you get how she’d feel if you did something nasty to yourself? It’s not like you’re the only one with troubles, you know.”
Another very slight shrug. “Sorry to be such a bother,” Sayaka muttered.
Kyoko glowered at her out of the corner of her eye. Then she slumped forward with a sigh. “Look, I know you’re upset about what happened with Captain Oblivious,” she said. “I mean, I still think it was a stupid wish, but hey, I ain’t nobody to throw stones. And if the guy I sold my soul for started dating some other chick he just met and didn’t even so much and say thank you for all the visits and the gifts? I’d feel pretty ripped off too! But-”
“It’s not just that,” Sayaka said, still speaking barely above a whisper.
“Eh?”
Sayaka let her head fall back, looking up at the night sky, shrouded as it was by the light pollution from the city. “I’ve made mistake after mistake after mistake. I let myself be trapped because I wanted to become a hero. I threw away my future just to live out some stupid fantasy of being someone important. And for what? Sure, I’ve saved some people, but they were only in danger because of Witches. I’m serving the same system that made them, and when I become a Witch, who will save people from me?”
Kyoko’s right hand started tightening. “Stop it,” she growled. “You’re not going to become a Witch. None of us are.”
Sayaka didn’t seem to have heard her. “You used to mock me, telling me that making such a selfless wish was so stupid. But you were wrong. I was being nothing but selfish. I thought I was doing a good thing, but the truth is I just wanted him to owe me. To be indebted to me. If I gave him back his passion, his music, then surely he would have no choice but to love me!” Her upper body curled up, shoulders bowing and arms wrapping around herself as tears dripped from her face. “But look at me! I’m not even human anymore! Just a p-puppet of…of meat. Meat and magic. I’m basically a zombie, a walking dead girl good for nothing but killing Witches.” A hoarse sob forced its way out of her throat. “It’s better that he found someone else. It’s better that he was saved from being with such a worthless, unlovable dead fool like me.”
Then there was a loud crunching sound.
It was Kyoko’s tube of chips. Kyoko’s hand had squeezed into an angry fist, crushing it. And that was enough to shock even Sayaka out of her stupor.
“Kyoko,” she said. “You wasted-”
Tossing the worthless tube aside, Kyoko straightened to her feet, planted herself in front of Sayaka, and seized the moping girl by the lapels of her sweater. “Shut up!” she snapped, shoving Sayaka back against the bench. “Do you even hear yourself talk? Where do you get off, talking down about yourself like that? After everything you’ve given up? After everything you’ve been through?”
Sayaka gawked at her, her mouth open and closing like a gasping fish. “Ky-Kyoko, I-”
“I am so sick of your stupid, self-hating bullshit! Don’t you dare call yourself worthless! Don’t you know how many people care about you, who’d have their hearts torn up if you were gone?”
“But-”
“What about Madoka? Don’t you care how she’s feeling right now? What about Mami? Hell, you still care about Hitomi, don’t you? She’s hurting too! Even Homura would probably be upset if you destroyed herself. She finally gets a timeline where everyone’s getting along and working together, but all of a sudden Little Miss Loathing has to go cock it all up! And that’s not even getting to me! You think I want to lose the girl I-”
A sudden, unexpected sob choked out the rest of Kyoko’s rant, before the damning confession could escape. Her hands still clutching at Sayaka’s clothes, Kyoko’s head fell forward, tears of rage, of grief, and of humiliation falling from her face to drop onto Sayaka’s skirt.
As for Sayaka herself, she was staring in shock at the furious girl holding onto her, a girl that she barely got along with, with whom she had been butting heads with almost as soon as they had first met. The two had nearly come to blows so many times in the past, whether it be from Kyoko’s constant needling or Sayaka’s pigheadedness. But now here they were, baring their souls to one another, both of them on the verge of tears, with Kyoko having let slip the most intimate of confessions.
“Kyoko,” Sayaka said. “D-Did you just…”
Kyoko’s breath came out as a slow hiss through her clenched teeth. “And don’t you f-f-fucking dare call yourself unlovable either. You’re a royal pain in the ass, but th-that don’t mean you’re unlovable. I don’t care how nice that other girl is, that violin bitch must be as stupid as you are if he never saw you in front of him this whole time.”
“What?” Sayaka breathed out.
Now Kyoko’s whole body was trembling. She slowly raised her head, her angry scarlet eyes wet with tears, the first tears she had shed since the day she had lost her family. “But I see you. I’ve seen you for a while. Are you going to say I’m wasting my time?”
And then she lunged forward, her mouth closing over Sayaka’s.
It was Kyoko’s first kiss, and she knew it was Sayaka’s as well. Neither of them really knew how to do it properly, and Sayaka was so surprised that she just sat there and didn’t react at all. But when Kyoko tasted the saltiness of the tears that had dripped past Sayaka’s lips, she didn’t care that she had no idea what she was doing. She just kissed her, desperate to convince this broken, beautiful, infuriating, inspiring, exhausting, and utterly maddening warrior that she was worth loving.
Then the kiss parted. Her heart thundering away in her chest, Kyoko drew back, suddenly terrified at what Sayaka’s response would be. Would she be angry? Disgusted? Or worse, was she going to pity Kyoko? Look down on her for exposing herself like that? It would be just like her, wouldn’t it?
But instead, Sayaka didn’t do any of those things. She just stared into Kyoko’s eyes, a faint blush on her cheeks. “You love me?” she whispered.
Swallowing, Kyoko wiped her mouth and looked away. “What do you think, genius?”
“For…For how long? I thought you hated me!”
Kyoko sighed. “For…I don’t know. I only really realized it after Homura dropped the bomb on us.” The lump in her throat was making it difficult to talk, but fuck it, she had gotten this far. “But tr-truthfully? I think…there was a reason…all your talk about him pissed me off so much.”
“You were jealous?”
“So what if I was?” Kyoko snapped. “It’s not like it would ever lead to anything! Hell, it probably still won’t! Your boy-crazy ass is probably all disgusted from me getting my girl-lips all over you, so what the hell am I even-”
“Kyoko,” Sayaka said flatly. “You’ve been in my room, right?”
“Huh? What are you accusing me of? I never snuck in or peeped on you or anything! Only time I’ve been in there was when me and Mami’s dropped your unconscious ass off after that one Dream Witch drugged you senseless!”
“Okay, but when you were there, did you by any chance notice that purple, blue, and pink flag on my dresser?”
Kyoko shrugged. “No. But what about it? So you like pretty flags. Big deal-Hey!”
Sayaka had suddenly pushed herself forward to lock her lips over Kyoko’s. The surly redhead felt herself seize up, as she was now the one taken by surprise. But she had always been fast to react, and let herself relax into the kiss, sinking down onto the bench to be closer to the girl kissing her.
Again, neither of them had a clue what they were doing, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was each other. The two of them ended up lying side-by-side across the bench, desperately kissing one another, clutching at each other with their hands, wanting to eke out as much contact as they could as their mouths moved together, their tongues hesitantly flitting out to take brief tastes.
All of the built-up tension and worry started to seep out of Kyoko’s muscles, and she felt herself relax against Sayaka. Still kissing her, she leaned forward, laying herself over the other girl. Sayaka’s hands came up to clasp themselves behind Kyoko’s back, holding her tight.
She was warm, so warm and soft. All of Sayaka’s self-pitying whining about being a dead girl now felt even more foolish. She was alive, gloriously alive, and Kyoko immersed herself in that life, drinking in the warmth of Sayaka’s breath, feeling the frantic pounding of her heartbeat against Kyoko’s own chest, savoring how Sayaka’s legs were squirming beneath Kyoko’s thighs, unconsciously shoving up between Kyoko’s thighs in a most agreeable manner. Kyoko gasped as Sayaka’s leg lurched up into her groin, and began grinding down in response, rubbing her denim-covered crotch down into that leg. And if Sayaka even noticed what Kyoko was doing, she didn’t so much as object.
It was good, almost too good to be true, which usually meant that it was. Suspicion began to break through the joy, love, and lust that fogged Kyoko’s brain, souring her good mood.
“Hey,” she said, pushing back and rising up a little. “This better not be a pity-kiss. You better not be settling for my scrappy ass just because you couldn’t get Mr. Prodigy back there.”
Sayaka rolled her eyes to the heavens. “Kyoko, listen to me,” she said, raising her hand to cup it against Kyoko’s cheek.
Kyoko felt her heart flutter. “I’m listening,” she said, covering the back of Sayaka’s hand with her own.
Sayaka leaned in toward her. “I see you too.”
“Oh, thank God,” Kyoko breathed, and then Sayaka pulled her back into the kiss.
A couple of years later…
When Sayaka woke up, she was very confused to find herself not in her bed, but sitting slouched but otherwise upright in a chair, and not in her pajamas, but fully clothed in her school uniform, missing only the shoes. Snorting, she shook her herself, yawned, and sleepily looked around, wondering where she was and why she had fallen asleep in such an uncomfortable position.
Then she saw her own bed, and realized that she was in her room. Then she saw who was in her bed, and she remembered what had happened, causing her heart to seize up.
Kyoko was lying prone and still on her bed, her head laid upon the pillow, the covers drawn up to her collarbone and her arms stretched straight out on top. Unlike the untidy spread of limbs and tangle of blankets and sheets that Kyoko normally fell asleep in, Kyoko was flat on her back and perfectly straight, looking like an illustration of Sleeping Beauty.
And given the deathlike sleep Sleeping Beauty had fallen into, that comparison was not without cause.
Sayaka had stayed up as long as she could, fretfully watching over her imperiled girlfriend, silently begging to the God that Kyoko had turned her back on to please spare her life. She couldn’t bear facing the future without her.
Kyoko had certainly been as pale as Sleeping Beauty when Sayaka had finally nodded off, her breathing so shallow that it was almost imperceptible. Sayaka had held a finger under Kyoko’s nostrils at various times just to confirm for herself that her girlfriend was even breathing at all. But to her utter relief, the color had returned to Kyoko’s cheeks, and she was now breathing visibly, her slight chest rising and falling beneath the covers.
And on the bedside table, her Soul Gem was right next to Sayaka’s, both of them shining bright and clear.
Sayaka almost wept in joy. Kyoko was okay! She was getting better! She was healing, and her Soul Gem was uncorrupted.
Then Kyoko’s face twitched. She let out a soft snort through her nose and mumbled, “Uh…”
A moment later Sayaka’s chair had been knocked over backward as she scrambled across the room to throw her arms around Kyoko’s shoulders, hugging Kyoko’s head to her chest. She did weep then, happy tears running down her face as she sank her fingers into Kyoko’s gloriously warm scarlet mane.
She was alive. She had made it.
But of course, Kyoko being Kyoko, she couldn’t let this heartfelt, emotional moment pass without saying or doing something to ruin it, so a moment later Sayaka heard her girlfriend’s muffled voice say from beneath her chest, “Um, Sayaka? Can’t say I don’t appreciate having my face pressed into your boobs, but I kinda have no idea what’s going on.”
Sayaka’s sobbing turned into giggles then. She really was all right. “Shush,” she said, stroking Kyoko’s hair. “Just let me enjoy this a little longer.”
“I mean, okay, more boobage for me, but I’d really like to know what the hell is-”
“Because in a few moments, I am going to be cross with you. And then I am going to start yelling at you. Loudly.”
“Aw, shit,” Kyoko groaned into Sayaka’s chest. “What’d I do?”
Sayaka didn’t answer. She just closed her eyes, listening as Kyoko breathed in and out, feeling her pulse thump away in her neck. A few scant hours ago she had been convinced that Kyoko was lost to her forever, but now Kyoko was whole and well again.
Sighing happily, Sayaka drew back, uncovering Kyoko’s utterly bewildered face. She bent down and kissed Kyoko sweetly on the lips.
Kyoko lips rose up to return the kiss, but the wariness didn’t leave her eyes. “Fuck,” she said as Sayaka stepped away. “I’m really in trouble, aren’t I?”
“Yes,” Sayaka said primly. Now that her relief and love had been seen to, all of her fear, worry, and frustration were bubbling back, churning together into a very volatile cocktail of piping hot anger. “You are.”
She retrieved her chair where it had fallen and moved it closer to the bed. Sitting down, she planted her hands on her knees and stared down at her confused lover.
“Kyoko,” Sayaka began. “Do you remember what happened last night?”
“Uh…not really? I remember we were at the arcade, and I was trying to beat your DDR score…”
“Yes, we were,” Sayaka confirmed. “And then what?”
“And…” Kyoko’s brow knitted together. “Okay, Homura called us, saying that a Witch had shown up. And…uh, okay. I think there were buzzsaws?”
“Very good! Yes, there were buzzsaws! And chainsaws. And meat hooks. Lots of blades. What happened next?”
“I…” Kyoko pressed a hand to her forehead as she struggled to recall those last few moments. “I remember teasing you, saying you were probably feeling a whole lot of…um…”
“Blade Envy,” Sayaka supplied for her.
“Right! And then…and then…”
Then Kyoko’s eyes widened, and her hand dropped to her side. “Oh.”
“Oh? Oh is right!” Sayaka leaned forward to more properly glower down at the sheepish Kyoko. “You started showing off! You started jumping from buzzsaw to buzzsaw, dancing around like it was a DDR pad! You were daring me to follow you, weren’t you? And when I told you to stop being stupid, you jabbed your spear into the middle of a buzzsaw and started pole-dancing!”
“I thought it was funny!”
“Funny? Oh, yeah, sure! It was downright hilarious! Never mind that there was another buzzsaw coming straight for you that I was screaming at you to look at! But what did you do? You winked at me and blew a raspberry!”
“I thought someone else would take care of it!”
“HOW?!” Sayaka all but shrieked. “I was tied up fighting the familiars, Mami and Homura were clear on the other side of the labyrinth, doing their jobs! Madoka was trying to batten down the Witch’s defenses, Hitomi isn’t an offensive fighter, and you were supposed to be covering my flank! Instead, you decided to goof off and got yourself nearly sliced in half!”
“Oh, yeah,” Kyoko said in a small voice. “I remember that now.”
“Oh, do you? I’m so glad! Because I remember it too! I remember your blood spraying all over my face! I remember screaming as your mangled body fell to the ground! I remember seeing the light go out from your eyes, Kyoko! I thought I had just watched you die, and I couldn’t do anything to…to…”
The tears were back. Clutching at her face with both hands, Sayaka hunched forward as she started sobbing again, the image of Kyoko’s bisected body branded into her mind.
Then she felt Kyoko’s warm hand lay itself on her knee.
“Sayaka, I-”
“Don’t touch me!” Sayaka swatted the hand away. “I’m still mad at you!”
Swallowing, Kyoko withdrew the hand. “Okay. Sayaka, I’m…I’m sorry.”
Sayaka’s weeping paused. Lowering her hands, she stared down at Kyoko in a mixture of anger and surprise. “You’re…sorry?”
As much as she loved Kyoko, the redheaded rascal had more than a few, shall we say, character flaws. One in particular that Sayaka found to be very infuriating was her apparent inability to apologize. Sure, Sayaka had more than enough stubborn pride of her own, but she at least had the good sense to own up to mistakes and say sorry every once in a while.
Which isn’t to say that Kyoko was incapable of showing remorse, it was just that she tended to show it through gestures instead of words, such as leaving small gifts or quietly doing favors. It had taken Sayaka some time to learn Kyoko’s unique love language, and things were much easier once she did, but even so, she would appreciate just having Kyoko say it for once.
But now she was.
“Yeah,” Kyoko sighed. “I’m sorry. I…” She seemed to be wrestling with the words, getting them out by force. “I screwed up. I’m sorry.”
Sayaka came very close to snapping about how Kyoko better be sorry, because after what she had put Sayaka through, it was going to take more than a simple apology to make up for it. But once she saw Kyoko’s face, she wisely bit that response back.
Kyoko looked more upset than Sayaka had ever seen her. True, Kyoko might not be on the level of Homura when it came to masking how she felt, but if she ever did show any sort of strong emotion then it usually was anger. It was very rare that she ever let herself become vulnerable enough to show anything close to grief or regret.
There had been flashes here and there, moments in which the mask had slipped, but a scant few times in which Kyoko had really opened herself up. One time had been at the ruined carcass of her father’s church, when she had confessed her sin to Sayaka in an attempt to get her to see her point of view. The other had been that night at the train station, when she had spilled her heart out to Sayaka.
Sayaka breathed out the remainder of her anger. “Well,” she mumbled. “Listen to me the next time I tell you to stop goofing off.”
“Was it…really that bad?”
Sayaka’s eyes narrowed. “I saw your intestines. What do you think?”
Kyoko gulped.
Shaking her head, Sayaka retrieved the thermos of water that sat next to Kyoko’s Soul Gem. Pulling out the stray that had been stuck through the lid, she extended it to Kyoko, letting her drink. “Here. Go slow. Hitomi said-Hey, I said go slow!”
Kyoko had already inhaled half the thermos and was swiftly sucking up the rest. “Sorry,” she rasped when she was done, a grand total of five seconds later. “My throat was really dry.”
“I bet it was,” Sayaka said as she set the empty thermos back down. “I don’t want to know how many fluids you lost.”
“How…Okay, I got cut in half? Ouch. But how did I survive?”
“Hitomi,” Sayaka said simply as she sat down again. “Madoka scored a lucky hit, and the Witch died. Everyone freaked out when we saw you, because you looked oh so very dead.” Sayaka then pointed to Kyoko’s Soul Gem. “But then Madoka noticed your Soul Gem darkening, and figured out that it was trying to heal you. So we stuck you back together the best we could, and Hitomi set to work keeping you alive.”
“Oh. Wow, she must’ve had her work cut out for her.”
“Yeah, it took up the Butcher Witch’s Grief Seed and two others we had in reserve, so that set us back.” Sayaka crossed her legs and sighed. “But it did the trick. Your body closed itself up, you didn’t turn into a Witch, and then you started breathing again. So we brought you here, and I’ve been keeping watch over you ever since.”
“Wow,” Kyoko said again. “I, uh, guess I owe Hitomi big time, huh?”
We both do, Sayaka thought. She resolved to make it up to her, though that would have to wait. “You owe all of us. But for now, how do you feel?”
“Um, okay. I guess.”
“You guess?”
Kyoko’s bare shoulders lifted in a shrug. “I mean, I’m not in agonizing pain or anything, so I guess I feel fine. Just…weirdly tired and wound up at the same time? Like, I feel fine, so I guess there’s nothing wrong. But I’m still kind of worn out and…sort of jazzed up? If that makes any sense.”
Shaking her head, Sayaka got up to pace around the room. Truth was, she felt very much the same, though for different reasons. “Well, that’s good to hear,” she mumbled. “And hey! If we can bring you back from that, I guess we’re pretty safe from dying. So there’s that.”
“Um, Sayaka?” Kyoko said.
Sayaka turned. “What?”
Kyoko was lifting up the covers and peering in beneath them. “I’m kinda naked. Why am I naked?”
“Seriously?” Sayaka growled. She started counting off points on her fingers. “First of all, we needed to see how bad the damage was, and check if there were any other injuries. Second of all, even after you got fixed up, you were still covered in blood. You think I’m going to put you to bed like that?”
“So, what, you guys just washed my near-carcass in the bathtub?”
“Yes,” Sayaka said flatly.
“Oh.” Kyoko blinked, and then she grinned. “Well, you finally got a look at the goods. What’ja think?”
Sayaka folded her arms. “I think I got more of a look than I ever wanted to see.”
“Right. Um, but still. I’m here. Naked in your bed. You maybe…wanna do something about it?”
Sayaka’s head was still swimming from being bombarded with so many powerful and conflicting emotions that it took her nearly twenty full seconds to comprehend what Kyoko was implying. When she did, she was hit with another one. “Kyoko,” she said, speaking slowly and softly. “Are you…implying what I think you’re implying?”
“I…kind of?” Kyoko shrugged. “Yes, I mean yes.”
Sayaka stared.
And then Kyoko sat up.
Sharp tingles erupted all over Sayaka’s body as her nude girlfriend struggled to lever herself upward, the blanket and sheet falling away from her fit, athletic body. It wasn’t as if Sayaka had never seen this much of her before, from that little black bikini Kyoko wore on beach trips that exposed practically all of her skin to seeing all of her the previous night. Heck, that hadn’t even been the first time Sayaka had seen her naked, as there had been a couple of team onsen trips where she gotten to see everyone without their clothes on, though she hadn’t been ready to be honest about her feelings then, and had done her best to banish any inappropriate thoughts.
But now she was fully committed to her attraction to girls, and to Kyoko especially. So many nights they had spent lying together on rooftops, needily making out while their hands had wandered over each other’s bodies, never really slipping in beneath their clothing, but still grabbing, caressing, squeezing, and groping what they could reach. And though they had yet to go all of the way, Sayaka had taken to pleasuring herself to the memory of those erotic trysts each night before going to sleep, touching her intimate areas while the ghost of Kyoko’s fingers ran over her skin and her warm tongue writhed its way into her mouth.
And now Kyoko was laid bare before her, sweat glistening over her smooth, flat belly, with just the barest hint of abs on her toned stomach. Her breasts were small, yes, but also pert and firm, each tipped with a rosy pink nipple, now hard as ice. Kyoko’s breath was slow and heavy, her captivating scarlet mane falling in disarray around her shoulders, hungry lust clouding her eyes. It gave her a wild, almost feral feel to her, and sweet Christ it was so hot!
Sayaka felt the wind sucked from her lungs at the sight, heat blossoming deep in her loins. “Kyoko,” she whispered. “Are you sure? This is…um, kind of a big-”
“Screw it,” Kyoko growled. She turned toward Sayaka, letting the covers slip even further from her thighs. “I’ve wanted this for a long time, but didn’t want to push. But I made a stupid mistake and almost died.” She extended a hand to her dumbstruck lover. “We weren’t supposed to live this long. Why not take it while we can?”
Sayaka’s head felt so light that she almost expected it to drift right off of her shoulders. She had fantasized about making love before; what girl hasn’t? But in her mind, it had been between her and Kyousuke, on their wedding night. A stupid daydream, but that was what she had expected. And even after, when that dream had been crushed and replaced with one with gleaming scarlet eyes and a cocky grin, she had been hesitant to think that far, as if letting her thoughts go there would cause the dream to break.
But Kyoko was right. None of them were promised tomorrow. Why not take what love and comfort they could while they can?
Feeling as if she were walking through a dream, Sayaka wordlessly headed for the bedroom door. Behind her, Kyoko let out a whine of protest, believing that she was leaving.
Instead, Sayaka turned the latch, locking the door. Kyoko shut up.
Then, moving with slow precision and needy anticipation, Sayaka approached the bed. Part of her wondered if she ought to put a little spice into her walk, sway her hips a bit, but it was taking all of her mental facilities just to keep moving.
She leaned in, letting Kyoko’s outstretched hand slide into the back of her neck and draw her to Kyoko’s lips. Sayaka’s mouth was open, tasting the life in Kyoko’s warm breath, and their mouths met. A low moan vibrated in the back of Sayaka’s throat as she pushed into the kiss, lips smacking, her tongue sliding over Kyoko’s teeth and dancing over the point of her fang.
She was so taken up in the sea of bliss that she almost didn’t notice the fingers closing around her wrist until they began to tug her arm forward, but when they pressed against a soft mound of flesh, she definitely took notice. Kyoko was pressing her hand into her bare breast, pushing it in so that her fingers sank in, the hard nub of her nipple sticking out between her forefinger and middle finger.
“Yours,” Kyoko murmured into Sayaka’s mouth. “Take it.”
Sayaka complied, squeezing the offered boob, kneading with her fingers. Then she brought her forefinger and thumb together, pinching Kyoko’s nipple, eliciting a shiver and a pleased moan from her girlfriend.
Well, that was going well, so Sayaka went for the other one, grabbing onto Kyoko’s other breast with her other hand and squeezing it as well. I’m playing with her boobs! she thought giddily as the soft, pliable flesh squished in her hands. I’m finally playing with her boobs! This is…This is…
“Shayuhuh,” Kyoko whined into Sayaka’s mouth. She drew back from the kiss, a trail of spittle still connecting them. “It’s not fair. You got all of me in your hands, but you still got all of that stuff on!”
If Sayaka’s heart was already racing in a fast, persistent percussion, now it was banging out a war tattoo. “Y-You’re right,” she said, backing away. “So, let’s, um, fix that.”
Now that the shock was giving way to excitement, Sayaka felt confident enough to make a show of it. As Kyoko hungrily watched, Sayaka undid the now very sloppily tied ribbon at the base of her throat and dropped it to the floor. Her hands then slid down the sides of her waist to seize the hem of her puffy-sleeved school sweater.
Sayaka took her time removing the sweater, pulled it up centimeter by centimeter. Though she was still wearing her high-necked blouse under it, she knew the slow unveiling of her body was probably delicious torture to Kyoko. Good. Serves her right.
“Sayaka, c’mon,” Kyoko complained as the sweater went over Sayaka’s head. “You’re doing that on purpose!”
“Hmmm,” Sayaka hummed as she gave the sweater a tug, letting her head pop free. She shook her shoulder-length blue hair out and combed it into place with her fingers. “Well, think of it as foreplay. A little something extra to give it some spice.”
“I’m already spicy! I’m drowning in spice here!”
Sayaka smirked, and then reached down to take the bottom button of her blouse between her fingers.
“Oh, come on!” Kyoko cried in frustration as Sayaka took her own sweet time undoing each button one-by-one, baring her stomach as slowly as possible. “Now you’re just being mean!”
“You really need to learn patience,” Sayaka said as the whole of her tummy was uncovered. She paused then, though not to tease Kyoko, but because she had reached the mounds of her breasts.
Come on, it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before!
Yeah, but it’s different this time!
You literally just squeezed her bare boobs. Don’t be a wimp.
Taking a deep breath, Sayaka undid the rest of the buttons. Kyoko’s ravenous eyes got even wider as Sayaka’s cleavage came into view, pressed together by the blue bra she was wearing.
Holding Kyoko’s gaze, Sayaka lifted the now-unbuttoned blouse from her shoulders and let it slip down her arms to join the sweater and ribbon on the floor. Now only clad in her bra from the waist up, she reached behind her for the clasp.
“Wait!” Kyoko cried, holding a palm out toward her.
Sayaka froze. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Let me do it! I wanna take it off!”
“What? I thought you were all impatient!”
Kyoko was positively bouncing up and down in eagerness. “I am! But you guys got to strip me, so it’s only fair!”
That…strictly wasn’t untrue, though the circumstances had been very different, and more than Kyoko’s clothes had been stripped off. But Sayaka had long learned that when Kyoko got like this, it was best to just indulge her. “Oh, all right,” she said with a long-suffering sigh. She leaned over the bed, presenting her breasts. “Go for it.”
Her eyes fixated on the titillating slit of Sayaka’s cleavage, Kyoko reached up with shaking hands toward the clasp. Sayaka shivered as those slim fingers brushed the bare skin of her back, but didn’t pull away. She waited.
“Um,” she said after a bit. “Everything okay?”
Kyoko’s hands were clearly struggling, and the hazy lust on her face was darkening into irritation. “I can’t get it loose! This thing is impossible!”
“What? Oh, for Heaven’s sake, it’s not the Gordian Knot! You just give it a push!”
“The what knot? And this thing is-”
Kyoko finally got it, and Sayaka felt the clasp become undone. The shoulder-straps slid down her arms as the rest of her breasts breathed freely.
“Oh,” Kyoko breathed as Sayaka slid the bra fully off of her arms and tossed it aside. “Hello.”
Curiously, now that she was topless, Sayaka was actually feeling more confident. There was something about how hungrily Kyoko was staring at her that made her feel good inside. Someone wanted her, and badly.
Growing up, Sayaka had never really been overly concerned about her looks, but being on a team with absolute stunners like Mami, Homura, and Hitomi had started to make her feet just a little self-conscious about her more boyish looks. Even Madoka’s cute femininity and Kyoko’s swaggering confidence had won them a fair number of admirers. And Kyousuke never so much as even considering her hadn’t exactly helped. Sure, becoming girlfriends with Kyoko had been great for her confidence, but that small, nagging voice at the back of her mind had kept insisting that it was only natural for two young people caught together in the same harrowing scenario to develop feelings for one another. It didn’t mean she was actually attractive, much less sexy.
But now Kyoko was staring transfixed at her body, absolutely smoldering with naked lust. And say what you will about Kyoko and her lack of tact, but she didn’t waste time with pretenses. If she looked like she wanted something, then she absolutely wanted something. And right now, she clearly wanted Sayaka.
“Not bad, huh?” she said as she straightened up. Her hands cupped her breasts on either side, squeezing them together and jiggling them up and down.
Kyoko beckoned anxiously with her hands. “C’mon! Gimme!”
Sometimes Sayaka found Kyoko’s childlike greediness aggravating. This was not one of those times. She leaned in, expecting to feel Kyoko’s groping hands all over her chest.
Instead, Kyoko seized one breast and pulled it right to her mouth. Her lips closed over one fat nipple and started sucking, while her warm tongue ran over the fleshy lump, needling and prodding it while slicking it with her saliva. Her teeth brushed over the areola, pressing it hard enough to leave marks.
“Oh,” Sayaka said in surprise. Then her eyelids fluttered. “Oh.” She leaned in closer, giving Kyoko’s mouth more access. “I, uh, guess all those sweets…mmm…you eat…are paying off?”
Though her mouth was entirely taken up by Sayaka’s breast, Kyoko’s eyes twinkled devilishly up at her. Her hand came up to squeeze the other breast, groping it as Sayaka had hers.
Moving carefully so as to not dislodge Kyoko’s mouth, Sayaka got up onto the bed and knelt down next to Kyoko. She wrapped her arms around her greedy girlfriend’s head and pressed her into her bosom, pulling back only when Kyoko switched breasts, marking the other with her teeth and tongue.
Sayaka was so taken by the attention being paid to her breasts that she almost didn’t notice the hands laying themselves on her waist. However, when those hands caressed their way down to her hips, she noticed. When those hands unfastened the waistline of her plaid skirt, letting it slide right off of her rump to land on the crumpled bedcovers, she noticed.
And when Kyoko hooked her fingers into the waistline of Sayaka’s panties and gave them a push, she really noticed.
Sayaka slowly breathed out as her panties were drawn over her ass and down her thighs, but she remained still, letting Kyoko continue to undress her. She only moved when the panties reached her knees, and that was to shift her legs around and reach down with one hand to pull them full off of her legs.
Now wearing nothing but her dark blue calf-high stockings, Sayaka sat back on her haunches, Kyoko’s saliva still coating her breasts. Kyoko did the same, pushing the covers fully away and sitting up on her knees, letting Sayaka see her fully.
Sayaka already found Kyoko to be stunningly hot in a wild, untamed sort of way, and on more than one occasion had found her eyes wandering to those short shorts she always wore when out of uniform, or taking the time to admire the ripple of her lean muscles as she fought, or the bright gleam in her eyes. But now that savage beauty was laid bare before her, from the pertness of her breasts to the trimness of her figure, and finally down to her special, secret place, those long, thin lips, a healthy color of pink and unblemished by a single hair, the crevice running up the middle crowned by the little pink pearl of her clitoris. Already that area was faintly glistening with moisture.
Oh God, Sayaka wanted her. She wanted her so badly, to feel her writhe and moan beneath her, to take those perky breasts into her hands and mark them with her teeth, like Kyoko had marked her own. To bring Kyoko’s thighs to her mouth and see what her nectar tasted like. To sink her fingers into that perfect ass so hard that it would leave bruises.
Normally Kyoko might have something funny to say at being ogled so openly, but fortunately she was just as awestruck by the sight of Sayaka’s naked body as Sayaka was with hers. The drool trickling down the side of her mouth wasn’t all from kissing Sayaka’s breasts.
“So, uh, here it is!” Sayaka said, spreading her arms out. “Pretty good, hey?”
“Hubba-Bubba,” was all Kyoko could say. Taking that as a good sign, Sayaka crossed one arm under her breasts and pushed up. Kyoko’s enamored grin grew wider. 
“All right, Wildcat,” Sayaka said, using the nickname she had developed for Kyoko in their more intimate moments. “Come here-Eep!”
She had not expected her directions to be followed so suddenly. Kyoko pounced, seizing Sayaka by the shoulders and wrestling her down to the bed. Sayaka’s back hit the mattress and she found herself staring up into Kyoko’s crimson gaze.
And then Kyoko was at it again, attacking Sayaka’s body with a flurry of kisses, licks, and nips. Despite her earlier desire, Sayaka found herself the one who was writhing and moaning under her girlfriend’s ministrations, from the way Kyoko ran her tongue up and down Sayaka’s neck to how her breasts were again mercilessly teased and played with. Hot lips met quivering flesh, sharp fangs scraped pink lines, and a wet tongue tasted every bit that it could.
Whimpering, Sayaka felt completely helpless against the wave of sensations as Kyoko kissed her way down through the valley between her breasts and over the taut skin of her rippling belly. Those whimpers grew to a strangled groan as Kyoko’s tongue swirled around her navel, filling the spot where her Soul Gem was displayed during battle. Fingers clawed at the bedcovers and her back arched, thrusting her midriff into Kyoko’s face.
And then the warm wetness left Sayaka’s bellybutton. Her body tensed up, the muscles of her loins tightening as her eager pussy quivered with hot anticipation. Here it came, here it came…
It didn’t come, and neither did she.
After about five seconds of nothing, Sayaka blinked her eyes in confusion, and then craned her neck to see. Kyoko was on her hands and knees between Sayaka’s spread legs, staring down at her exposed sex. In contrast to the thin, bald lips of Kyoko, Sayaka’s was rounder, puffier, and covered with a light dusting of pale blue fuzz. Part of her suddenly wondered if she should start shaving. Maybe Kyoko would find that more appealing.
However, Kyoko didn’t seem at all put off. Rather, the ravenous look in her eyes was as strong as ever, as was the blush in her cheeks. So why was she hesitating?
“Uh, Kyoko?” Sayaka said.
Kyoko looked up at her. “Uh, so…would this be a bad time to admit I have no idea what to do here?”
Sayaka gawked at her. Then she snorted. “Seriously?”
“Well, excuse me for never taking the time out of my busy schedule of hunting Witches and staying alive to learn how to eat pussy! Maybe they teach it to you in that fancy school of yours, but I really doubt it!”
“Kyoko,” Sayaka groaned in exasperation. “We already know you know how to use that tongue of yours. How is this any different?”
“Well…”
“Oh, forget this.” Sayaka reached down to seize Kyoko by the sides of her head and shoved her face down into the waiting crotch. “You can eat anything! Now get to…OH!”
Sayaka was correct. With just a little encouragement, the natural skill of Kyoko’s tongue took hold, and she soon was lapping at Sayaka’s cunt with great enthusiasm, from how it circled around the edges of the raised mound to how it ran up and down the quivering slit down the middle. Sayaka found herself whimpering again as Kyoko found the little bead of her clit, pushing it up and out with the tip of her tongue to suckle on it.
Wave after wave of ecstasy crashed through Sayaka’s body, and she was helpless against the rising tide. She writhed, she squirmed, and she had to bite down on her own tongue to keep from squealing out loud, waking the rest of the girls. Being pleasured by someone she loved was so, so much better than relying on her fingers. The first time she had masturbated had been a life-changing moment, as scary as it had been exciting. But this? This was a revelation!
Was that why they called it making love? Because now the expression made perfect sense! That was what they were doing: making love.
And then Kyoko laid her fingers against her tingling folds and pushed outward, spreading her wide. The inside of Sayaka’s sex opened to her, as eager to receive as Kyoko was to give.
And Kyoko gave, as well as took. Her lips pressed against that opening, tenderly kissing as her tongue wormed its way inside, filling Sayaka with her hunger. Now Sayaka was positively thrashing, the back of her head banging against the top of the bed. She didn’t care. The tide was continuing to rise, lifting her higher and higher, and she could do nothing but wait for the building tidal wave to crest and break.
And then it broke, and she broke along with it, riding the pleasure all the way down. She cried out from the deepest parts of her throat, tears streaming from her eyes while her mind dissolved into seafoam. Her hips bucked, her stomach clenched, and she could do nothing but let the wave wash all over her.
Maybe it was the stress, the fear, the lack of sleep, or even the relief, but it was so, so much better than any orgasm she had ever brought herself to. It was like there had been some kind of valve holding all of her building tension back, and when she came, that valve burst, causing all of those negative feelings to come pouring out of her and letting blissful joy to flood in to replace them. Her eyes welled up with tears, though if it were from joy or pain, not even she could tell.
Time ceased to have meaning as she lay there on that beach of bliss, content to bathe in the afterglow of the strongest orgasm she had ever felt in her entire life. She breathed in, and she breathed out. In and out. In and out. All the energy had been sapped from her body, all the power drained from her mind.
She might have fallen asleep like that, but then she was jostled back to wakefulness as warm, naked flesh laid itself against her. Her face twitched, and she blinked her eyes to stare blearily.
Kyoko had crawled over to cuddle up to her, one leg thrown over Sayaka’s waist, her petite breasts pressing into her side. Smiling smugly, Kyoko ran her finger in a small circle around Sayaka’s right nipple.
“Gotta say, you taste pretty damn good,” Kyoko purred, leaning in to peck the side of Sayaka’s mouth. “And I really liked watching you squirm, all helpless and shit. It’s a good look for you.”
Sayaka reflexively turned her lips toward the kiss, but when Kyoko’s mouth withdrew, she caught the taste of something sour left behind. She frowned. “Did…Did you just make me taste myself?”
“Yeah. Nice, isn’t it?”
Shaking her head in an attempt to clear it from its post-orgasmic trance, Sayaka lifted her neck to glower properly at her infuriatingly smug lover. “And what was that you just said about liking me all helpless?”
“Well, I do,” Kyoko retorted. “And from the sound of things, you liked it too.”
“Ah,” Sayaka said, nodding. “It’s like that then.”
Though Kyoko had been deliberately needling a reaction out of Sayaka, she still wasn’t prepared for when Sayaka shoved her fully off the bed, only to scoop her right out of the air into a bridal carry as she came to her feet.
“Hey, what?” Kyoko yelped as she tried to squirm her way out of Sayaka’s arms. “What gives? What’re you doing?”
Normally Kyoko was the stronger of the two, but her recent fight for her life had drained a lot of that strength, so Sayaka had no trouble keeping her hold.
“Your turn,” she said, reaching down with one hand to finally give Kyoko’s bare rump a squeeze. If someone were to provide her with a list of all of her girlfriend’s generous assets and make her choose her favorite, Sayaka would first put on a show of acting offended at being made to participate with something so immature and objectifying.
But then she would choose Kyoko’s delectable bubble-butt, of which the redhead was rightly proud.
“You know, you’re getting a little too cheeky for someone who’s supposed to be making things up to me,” Sayaka chided, giving the plump, round cheek in her hand a squish for emphasis. She then let her thumb slide over in between Kyoko’s legs to run down the redhead’s damp slit.
The effect was immediate. Kyoko’s whole body went taut, her head thrown back while the irises of her eyes constricted tight. An absolutely adorable squeak popped out of her throat.
Sayaka’s brow rose, and she pressed her thumb down further into the puffy flesh. “Oh, now what was that cute little noise?” she said as she continued to stroke Kyoko’s pussy. “So you do have a girly side!”
“I-Idiot,” Kyoko hissed. “I am a girl!”
“I can see! And feel.” The little bud of Kyoko’s clitoris was rising up against the pad of her thumb. “Now,” Sayaka said with a savage grin. “Let’s see how girly I can make you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kyoko demanded. “Are you-”
Sayaka suddenly hoisted Kyoko into the air, turning her around so that she was holding her up by the hips.
“-whoa!”
Still holding her girlfriend aloft, Sayaka marched her right up to the wall and shoved her back up against its surface, bringing Kyoko’s pussy up to her eye level.
“So. Damned. Cute!” Sayaka murmured, bringing her face in close to those slick lips, making sure Kyoko felt her breath’s warmth.
And then she began to feed.
Kyoko’s cute little squeaks rose to an outright shriek as Sayaka hungrily went to work, kissing, nipping, and licking at the puffy flesh. She tried to mimic what Kyoko had done to her, but it was hard to recall exactly what Kyoko had done, so she didn’t even try. She just went with whatever felt right, using Kyoko’s pleased sounds and the way her body twitched to guide her.
The taste wasn’t bad, actually. A little sweet. It figured, given Kyoko’s sweet tooth. And the more Sayaka lapped at her, the better the taste got. Just the experience of eating Kyoko out was intoxicating! She loved everything about it, from how soft Kyoko’s flesh was beneath her tongue to how her girlfriend squirmed around in her arms. The more Sayaka worked, the less she cared about doing it right. She was hungry, and Kyoko just tasted so good!
But apparently she was doing it right. Kyoko screamed out one last time as her hips jerked into Sayaka’s mouth. The taste grew stronger.
Kyoko slumped into Sayaka’s arms, her back still pressed up against the wall. The two locked eyes, just long enough to see the love in the other’s gaze, before Sayaka pulled her into one last kiss. Their lips were still smeared with each other’s juices, but neither cared. It just added a little extra spice.
This is…This really happened, Sayaka deliriously thought as their lips smacked and tongues danced. Kyoko was digging one hand into Sayaka’s breast while Sayaka had grabbed a big handful of Kyoko’s ass. We really made love. I thought she was dead, but we’re making love. I never thought things could be-
And then there was a sharp knock at the door.
“Sayaka, are you okay?” Mami called frantically from the other side. “We heard screaming and it woke us up! What’s wrong?”
The doorknob jiggled. “It’s locked!” Hitomi said.
“Stand aside,” Homura told them. “I’ll break down the door.”
Sayaka and Kyoko stared at each other in horror. Then Sayaka turned to yell, “Uh, no! Don’t break my door! Everything’s fine! Sorry!”
“What’s wrong, Sayaka?” Madoka said from the other side. “It sounded like Kyoko! Is she okay? Is she awake?”
“Uh, yes!” Kyoko said, her voice cracking. “I am! I’m okay, no need to worry, thanks for putting me back together!” A pause. “Uh, I’m really sorry about being an idiot back there, I promise I’ll take battles more serious in the future, but I’m fine now, I’m good, thank you!” Another pause. “So, how are you?”
“Kyoko?” Mami said, now sounding concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes!” Kyoko squeaked. “Absolutely dandy! Sorry about waking you, Sayaka here was just really…relieved to see me okay! But she was really mad at me, so I’ve been, uh, making out to her…I mean making it up to her!”
Sayaka buried her face in her palm with a groan. The two of them were just so bad at this.
“Kyoko, your guts were hanging out!” Hitomi said.
“Yup! That sucked! My bad! I hear I owe yah big there, Green! I’ll find a way to pay you back, I swear, but thanks for saving my bacon, please do not come in right now.”
“Kyoko Sakura, what exactly is going on in there?” Homura demanded. “Because if I have to reset this timeline because of your foolishness-”
“Oh, hell no!” Kyoko exclaimed. She shoved Sayaka aside to march toward the door. “I swear to God, if you reset and take this away from me, I will follow you back in time and team up with the other me to kick your emo ass!”
“Kyoko, do not open that door!” Sayaka said, grabbing Kyoko’s arm in alarm.
“Okay, but seriously!” Mami said in exasperation. “What is going on in there? Why do you two sound so-Huh? Madoka? What do you…Okay, what?”
Then there came a hushed conversation from the other side of the door. Sayaka sighed. Apparently Madoka had put two and two together, and was now hurriedly trying to explain things.
“Oh,” Mami said, her voice rising in surprise. “Oh! Well, um, all right then! I guess if you say that you’re okay, then there’s no need for the rest of us to bother you!”
Sayaka could hear the barely constrained laughter in Mami’s voice. She wanted to die.
“Um, yes!” Hitomi said, also on the verge of cracking. “Well! Glad…you’re okay, Kyoko! And…you two seem to be doing well, so we’re going…”
“Oh, of all the foolish…” Homura began to seethe.
“Out! Out!” Madoka snapped. “Everyone, away from the door. Leave them alone, now!”
Then there came a clamor as several pairs of feet scampered away all at once, combined with quite a lot of snickering, giggling, and griping. The noise faded as they all headed back downstairs.
And then Sayaka heard most of them burst into laughter from the living room. Great. Great.
“Well,” Kyoko remarked, filling the awkward silence. “That happened.”
Sayaka sighed. “Yup. They’re never letting us live that down.”
“Eh,” Kyoko said with a shrug. “Let ‘em. We’re getting laid and they’re not. If anything, they should be jealous.”
Sayaka could see her point, but even so, it was going to be very difficult to face the others when they finally emerged.
“So, uh,” Kyoko said, turning back toward Sayaka. “What should…we do now?”
Sayaka slowly exhaled. “Well, I guess we could go back to bed. I barely slept last night, and you definitely need rest.”
“Uh-huh, yeah, good idea,” Kyoko said, nodding. “Buuuuut, since they already know what we’re up to, how’s about we go back to fucking each other until we pass out?”
Sayaka’s face turned bright red. “Kyoko! Language!”
“What?” Kyoko said, her tone sour. “Oh, come on! We just had sex for the first time, I almost died, we all sold our souls to space aliens. If that doesn’t give me a pass to use whatever fucking words I want, then I don’t know what does!”
“That’s not the point! There’s still no excuse for…”
Sayaka found her voice trailing off. What was she doing?
“Sayaka?” Kyoko cocked her head inquisitively to one side, her unbound hair spilling down her naked side. “What’s up?”
Sighing, Sayaka extended an arm toward her. “Forget it. You’re right. And honestly, that idea sounds fantastic. Let’s fuck.”
“Good,” Kyoko purred. She took Sayaka by the hand and led her back to the bed. “Now, seeing how we don’t have to worry about waking anybody up, I’m gonna see how loudly I can make you scream.”
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guiltswept · 10 days ago
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WE'RE  MAKING  OUT  INSIDE  CRASHED  CARS  /  WE'RE  SLEEPING  THROUGH  ALL  OUR  MEMORIES  /  I  USED  TO  WASTE  MY  TIME  DREAMING  OF  BEING  ALIVE  /  (  NOW  I  ONLY  WASTE  IT  DREAMING  OF  YOU  )  —  MEET  BABE  MORI.
...content warnings for... parental & familial death, mentions of a car accident, night terrors, stalking, harassment, implied gun violence, and drugs.
profile.
full name — paloma mori.
nickname(s) — babe! that chick over there. friend :)
place of birth — blue harbor, illinois.
date of birth & age — august 13th, 1997. twenty7.
gender / pronouns — demi woman, she / they.
sexuality — bisexual.
occupation — stripper at tba. amateur taxidermist. scene queen. professional raver. PLUR princess.
astrology — leo sun, leo moon, leo rising.
residence — her family's apartment above their beer & noodle shop in cardinal hill. the apartment is a mix of fratboyisms ( liquor bottles as decor, beer boxes as wallpaper, led strip lights half - falling off the walls ) and babe's... everything ( random crystals and band posters, cheetah print, loose plastic beads in every corner because none of them vacuum enough... so many taxidermy projects ).
interests — stick and poke tattoos; giving and receiving. edm. "scenecore". bright, neon colors. never washing her eyeliner off. pop punk. whiny vocals. nostalgic cartoons. fun and silly taxidermy. cooking for her friends; cooking as a release. dancing, in all forms. candy. glittery stickers. cheetah print. sex and love, and sex without love. skateboarding. reacting impulsively. demonias. fishnets. graffiti and vandalism. adrenaline rushes and cheap thrills. doing what she's told not to do. living her best life even if it's doomed. beer. her grandfather's recipes. mdma. loud, crunchy, static.
aversions — admitting that she has a god complex. taking responsibility for her actions. the way she can't stop when she cries. being dismissed. not being adored and loved. being alone for too long; long periods of silence. people who take themselves too seriously. being shamed. taking her medication. sleeping; her night terrors. thunderstorms, though she says she loves them. muted colors. art museums. bras. when she's not the one to end the relationship. being confronted with the truth, or reality.
quirks — falls in love and/or lust too easily, and will spend weeks fantasizing and obsessing over one person at a time. never lasts long in relationships except for one that's constantly on the frays. has no volume control in public and speaks without thinking. can be insensitive at times. loves convincing others to get matching tattoos with her. kicks in her sleep ( when it occurs ). always says she can handle her liquor but is always the first one drunk. is minorly allergic to alcohol but it will not stop her.
most played — IN MY MOUTH by black dresses.
notable features — straight black bangs and even straighter hair that's always tangled in the wind. a collection of glitter that never leaves her face. a few lovingly placed beauty marks and a full bottom lip that's always bitten raw.
general disposition — electric, energetic; a nonstop force until she's simply not.
character study — ilana wexler ( broad city ) & juliet starling ( lollipop chainsaw ).
background.
parental death / car accident; she's raised by her maternal grandfather and uncle, smack dab between her two brothers - their parents died in a car crash when her younger brother was just a baby, babe still too young to remember them much, or the accident that took place.
they live in a small apartment atop their grandfather's restaurant - a small noodle & beer shop that welds just enough profit for them to get by.
has been called babe her entire life - sometimes her grandfather says its because after her older brother had watched the movie of the same name, he thought she looked so pink and pig - like.
night terrors; is diagnosed with night terrors at a very young age - her cries and screams wake their household nightly, tiny limbs thrashing about like undergoing an exorcism. every night, on repeat - again and again. sleep paralysis becomes common - strange figures always lurking in her doorway, fingers curling over her doorframe - insomnia after that, because babe can no longer stand to sleep.
as a kid there's only so many explanations to her diagnosis - none feel right, a girl always in denial - settles on the belief that maybe she's a medium. that maybe what she sees are just spirits reaching out for her - wanting her help. she's so young, her family just thinks she'll grow out of the belief - but she never does. it's better than acknowledging the truth - of the deaths she's tethered to.
grows up the weird girl - the girl who talks to nothing, the girl who says she's really seen bloody mary in the mirror - the girl who's always bruised from taking a fall from her skateboard, over and over again - the girl who never learns. the girl who set the robotics club room on fire, and was banned from competitions from there on. always plenty smart - but terrible at utilizing it.
death; her grandfather dies shortly after babe's high school graduation - and college seems like a distant memory. she'd been serious about it, once - but now she needs to help out where she can. her uncle's taking over the restaurant with her oldest brother in tow - her youngest already picking up jobs when he should be studying. babe hates to see them struggle - hates how palpable the grief is in the air, how thick it is - how she can barely breathe.
she gets a job at the strip club as a dancer - she's young and charismatic, muscle built from years of roughhousing - it reels in plenty money, enough to help out her household and have some leftover. she picks up taxidermy classes, because college still seems so far away - babe knows how to move forward, but not how to pick up the pieces and continue where she's left off - dozens of projects left half - finished, plenty of relationships dropped without warning. the only constants are her best friend since diapers, practically, and the boyfriend she breaks up with, but never truly leaves. she's known him for so long - it feels impossible to ever really part.
stalking / harassment / gun violence; years later - babe's a known face at the club with a plethora of regulars, customers who adore not just her body, but her personality, who respect her - who pay her plenty. a new customer begins to get a bit too - affectionate towards babe. too close, too interested. the club's good about discomfort - and he's escorted off premises after he tries to follow her into the dressing rooms. it doesn't end after that - an obsession that carries outside of the club, that follows her - he follows her, to and 'fro - the police useless, because he hasn't touched her - and when her oldest brother finds out, he decides to take matters into his own hands. the man doesn't die - but he comes close to it, and when the police come knocking this time 'round - it's babe's uncle who steps up; who confesses to the crime. a crime he hasn't committed - but will protect his family from.
it's been a year since then; her oldest brother's taken over their family's restaurant - and the guilt swallows babe daily. she's only semi - recently gone back to work, much to the protest of her brothers; her oldest brother still upset about her decision, and still not talking to her.
facts & temperaments.
has unironically called herself an empath and in her defense she sort of is. feels emotions so so deeply that they hurt. a big crier, can't help it. tends to let them get the best of her - an irrational thinker who always jumps to conclusions, whether it's about you loving or hating her.
a little performative, dramatic - feels like she needs to be, like if she's not a caricature of sunshine then she's just the girl with a should - be - dead stalker and an incarcerated uncle. the girl with the dead animals, and the profuse swearing of mediumship.
a big - time partier, a known raver; self - proclaimed scene queen. always wearing rave attire, even in the cold - loves big, bold colors, the more neon the better, her arms consistently covered in kandi that she gives out like candy to her most favorite people of the week, sometimes the hour.
drugs; big big big on psychedelics and like. party drugs. loves poppers. will never admit that she has a problem - thinks she can always just reel it in.
has probably said rawr :3 in the past 24 hours.
loud and bold and talkative - isn't afraid to point out things that others may not; doesn't get the hint when to shut up. a bit of a blabbermouth, but she can't help it.
needs to be validated often that she's still liked and loved and adored, it's a bit of a problem. tends to latch onto others and form the occasional obsessive attachment. it's no big deal. sometimes it lasts for days, sometimes months. she finds most people interesting, and sometimes the most random things draw her in. thinks there's more beneath every person and she wants to know Every Layer.
a little hypersexual - a coping mechanism to deal with. Everything. but also just loves love! will also get incredibly jealous at times, but it's almost as a joke? but only babe finds it funny, and only after everyone's like babe wtf? then she's like omg jk haha im not that possessive :3 (kind of is)
once again, a big crier - at minor inconveniences, at sad movies, at misunderstandings; even when angry, it's just more tears. purposefully wears mascara that runs for the aesthetic. has probably never taken her eyeliner off.
big on adrenaline - seeking and cheap thrills. loves the idea of overcoming danger. believes in ghosts and cryptids and probably wants to fuck mothman, experiences medium revelations like several times a day.
has several tattoos that are just the @'s of people she's fucked whether it's their instagram or twitch or what. she thinks it's funny. and it's like, girl? kind of matches how her shitty little honda civic that's always falling apart is covered in bumper stickers on the outside and like. actual stickers on the inside. like she's just vomited lisa frank.
downs several monsters or various other energy drinks a day. aforementioned car's floor is littered with the crushed cans and general. gross shit ngl. we love her though.<3
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spacefinch · 1 year ago
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Incorrect MSB quotes, part I have lost count
Carlos: One time I was late to soccer practice and the coach made me run laps. My dad was the coach. And he drove me to practice.
Carlos: Why was Robin even the leader of the Teen Titans? What were his powers? Short and mad?
Ralphie: That's all you need.
Wanda: Piss off a short person and you'll see.
Wanda: Yeeted!
Carlos: Yote!
Wanda: YEETED!
Carlos: YOTE!
Dorothy Ann: I believe the correct word is "defenestrated."
Keesha: I just want to know who threw my cooking utensils out the airlock.
Carlos: Eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain. Your fingers don’t get greasy and it lasts for longer.
Tim: Fork
Carlos: Oh, yeah, I’m going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunce, fool, clown, juster, like a monstrous moron, an idiot of Shakespearean proportions, a cretin.
Phoebe: Um, you seem to forget that ‘chips’ can also mean fries. And that’s probably what he was talking about, haha
Carlos: I did not forget anything. I purposely ignore the idea of using British vocabulary to do my part in helping it die out.
Wanda: How long does someone have to be dead before it's considered archaeology instead of grave robbing?
Dr. Skeledon: As an archaeologist, I find this a veRY AWKWARD QUESTION
Wanda: Answer the question grave robber
Carlos: My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian. It's like I've never seen herbivore.
Ralphie: I sighed so loud my mom asked me if I was okay and she's two rooms away
Janet: shut up @ people who still say "science side of tumblr"
Carlos: science side of tumblr why is this person so salty
Dorothy Ann: osmosis
Ralphie: What are you guys gonna be for Halloween?
Phoebe: Sad
Tim: Gay
Wanda: Sexy
Carlos: Goblin
Arnold: "Once you've hit rock bottom the only place to go is up!" You underestimate me. I've brought my pickaxe and I'm ready to dig.
Carlos: Let me get this straight Let me run something bi you
Dorothy Ann: Let's pan this out
Phoebe: Let's ace-ess the situation
Tim: I'm gay
Phoebe: Misogyny check: Let your phone complete the sentence: Women are...
Ralphie: Women are ready to eat pizza when they eat pizza when you eat pizza when they eat pizza when you hungry hungry lol lol pizza pizza ready pizza for pizza pizza ready for pizza pizza for pizza ready for pizza pizza ready for coffee tomorrow morning and eat pizza pizza ready
Phoebe: My talent is identifying birds
Carlos: Okay, what's this one?
Phoebe: Yep, it's definitely a bird.
Dorothy Ann: Wow, humanity has been through some fascinating times! I wonder if I'll ever live through major historical events!
Dorothy Ann: NO NO NO NO NO I WANT TO GET OFF THIS RIDE
Carlos: it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be spece travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space tr
Phoebe: how to pick up CHICKS!!
Phoebe: cup your hands around them protectively
Phoebe: lift them from the ground
Phoebe: gently kiss their fuzzy heads
Phoebe: say "peep peep" calmingly so as not to be pecked
Phoebe: peep peep
Keesha: Found a paper I wrote in 5th grade that I got an 'f' on. My prompt was "Imagine you are sitting on a cloud, what would you do or see?" I wrote, "I would see the ground as I fell because I would fall through it because in sceince you told us that clouds were just water mists."
Carlos: Gentle reminder not to eat too much candy before bed.
Wanda: No
Carlos: This was a gentle reminder, yet your words of defiance bring me ungodly amounts of rage.
Wanda: word*
Carlos: I want nothing mmore than to uppercut you directly to heaven's front door.
Phoebe: I just found out that my gecko's tail works on my phone's touch screen, so I'm gonna let her make a text post and let autocorrect interpret the words.
Phoebe's gecko: Funks go e y y man kill zucchini angst
Mikey: The gecko has spoken
Wanda: Your skin looks great!
Mikey: Thank you! I made it myself!
Ralphie: Momentarily forgot Minecraft skins were a thing. Was very concerned.
Carlos: Can't get authentic Italian cuisine like this anymore
Carlos: *posts picture of gummy worms in a bowl*
Ralphie: I don't even know where to start with this post.
Carlos: One time my little brother Mikey programmed a thing called "coke.exe" and all it did was bring up a little pop-up that asked you if you were thirsty for cola and if you clicked "yes" it opened your CD tray and said "here is a cup holder"
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asecondpickle · 1 month ago
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Little Guys
The world is full of little guys
And goobers, great and small;
Like bees that sleep in flowers and
Birds that can't fly at all.
Opossums have anxiety,
And raccoons wash their food;
Snails take bites from crunchy leaves,
And cows are dogs that moo.
You shouldn’t pet a grizzly bear
(Despite their ears, so cute!)
And bats are little flying pups
That often feast on fruit.
We saw great wolves and called them friends,
And care deep for each other;
And little crows that dance and sing
Dote on their chicks as mothers.
Perhaps, on some day, soon or far
Our wondrous world shall end;
And so, along with art and love,
I’d miss our little friends.
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