#croix's theme

[shuruzy]

yanno it's been pretty fun "sculpting" out my sketch layer instead of making a separate layer for lines for the past few pieces... It's also been helping me with things like anatomy & getting that rough line feel, so I should consider just doing this from now on lmao

[irrigos]

🎂🍩🍾 for all of them!

🎂: Has your OC have any contradictory interests or traits to the first preception people have of them? How do they surprise people?

Well, usually people assume Morgan is smart, on account of all that book-learnin'. Unfortunately, they are high-INT low-WIS. Morgan recreationally drinks poison because they want to know what it does. They have an eyeless skull that's just on their mantle. His name is Mr. Funnybones. Every eyeless skull they find is named Mr Funnybones, and they are all related to each other. (Morgan refers to them as Messers Funnybones, or sometimes Funnybones and Sons. They're a law firm.)

tbh I think a canny observer can figure Eliot out pretty easily, it's just that nobody usually bothers. He comes across as flighty and charming because he wants to come across that way, and doesn't want to reveal the fact that he's deeply sad all of the time. But it's easy to notice if you know what you're looking for.

Jacob kinda seems like he'd probably be some kinda meathead when you first meet him, especially since he was a zailor and all. He's a huge beefy guy, so it's kind of a surprise that not only is he incredibly well-read, he's very thoughtful and well-reasoned, too. Not only is he political, he knows a lot of theory AND is happy and able to explain concepts should anyone ask.

Percy doesn't talk to people that much, and when he does, he's pretty brusque (which is putting it nicely) so people don't really think much about his interior life at all. He loves one thing in the world, and that is his rose garden, but he doesn't bring it up unprompted because sometimes people make a whole Thing about it, and the longer he spends having to talk to people about his garden, the longer it is until he can get back to it. (In a modern AU, I know he's also a really big fan of magic the gathering, but I'm not sure what a victorian era equivalent would be. Whist? Go?)

🍩: What's a crime your OC is most likely to commit? What's a crime they're most likely to get arrested for?

Morgan: Treason (they do a lot of murders, but like, is that even a crime?) Jacob: Domestic Terrorism (this one's canon) Eliot: Well, sodomy isn't illegal in London, so murder, I guess. Percy: Obstruction of justice. He's not a narc, and also, he is cat on his father's side, so he is GOING to be in the way no matter where you need to be. That's his right. I don't care if you're a cop.

🍾: Does your OC believe in luck? If so, do they have any charm or ritual they do before a stressful event?

I don't really think any of them are big believers in luck! I think Jacob sometimes does things for good luck out of habit (he used to be a zailor, and his mom was definitely a "throw spilled salt over your shoulder to ward off the devil" kinda lady), and Percy loves a ritual (but more because he's a creature of habit than because he thinks it will actually change his fate in some meaningful way). Eliot believes in luck only in as much as he believes that he is fated to be miserable. So, take that as you will, I guess.

[complete-clownery]

Kind of pushing through a burnout, I swear I somehow forgot how to draw tbh

more of my lmk and lwa themed brainrot,

honestly idk how i feel about the (heavily Chariot and Croix inspired) adult designs,,, probably going to rethink this, but im just obsessed with the lwa outfits hhhh

(on the last picture that is Ironfan with macaque, theyre sworn sisters, nobody dares to talk with them)

[hayleythesugarbowl]

spencer agnew where his partner is visiting shoot day and Spencer flirts with reader in his chosen outfit 🤭

I Choose You || Chosen!Spencer Agnew x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist  ⋆˚｡⋆୨୧⋆

summary: when you come to visit smosh, where your boyfriend spencer works, he surprises you by showing you one of his favorite characters

word count: 1.1k

warnings: none

a/n: ahh i hope you enjoy this my love 🤭 this worked perfect for a short lil fic and i hope it’s what you wanted

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     “Can I ask why you’re wearing a jester hat?”

     You looked up at the woman in front of you.

     “This?” She said, “It’s part of my character. Though what character I don’t exactly know yet.”

     You shrugged. It wasn’t the weirdest thing you’d seen since you arrived at Smosh.

     You’d just arrived a few minutes ago, finally making your way to the right studio. Spencer hadn’t given you exact directions and you’d had to ask multiple people which way it was.

      “So are you new here?” The jester-hat woman asked. “I’m Amanda, by the way.”

      “No, I’m just visiting,” you gestured to your lanyard, “I’m (Y/n), Spencer’s partner.”

      Amanda cocked her head to the side. “Huh, so you are real. There goes my 20 bucks.”

     You chuckled. “Yeah, Spencer invited me to come watch the shoot today. He said he wanted to show me something, but I don’t know where he is.”

     “Found him,” Amanda said, pointing in the direction of Spencer 

     You watched as he walked towards you. You took in his attire. He was wearing a black wolf-themed t-shirt, khaki shorts, and dark sunglasses, a sword at his hip.

     “Oh boy,” Amanda patted your shoulder, “Good luck with that.”

     She stepped away leaving you alone, before Spencer arrived in front of you.

     “Hey Spence,” you said. “I—

    “So,” he interrupted. He put on a voice, completely in character. “You must be the new visitor here at Smosh.”

     He indicated the visitor’s lanyard you wore around your neck. You were only confused for a moment before you realized. This must be what he wanted to show you—a character. You decided to sit back and see where this went. 

      “This studio is a freaking hellscape,” he continued, “If you wish to survive here, you must listen to these instructions, and listen carefully.”

     You raised an eyebrow, stifling a laugh. 

     Spencer pulled his sunglasses down, breaking character for a moment “(Y/n), this is serious. Never laugh at the Chosen.”

     “The Chosen?” 

     “Yes,” Spencer said, becoming the character again, voice and all. “The Chosen. Master of wit and combat. Downfall of all my enemies.”

     “Right,” you nodded your head, an amused look on your face, “Got it. Continue.”

     “As I was saying,” Spencer—the Chosen—kept going, “listen up if you want to have a rat’s chance at walking out of here alive.”

     “Number one. Never ask Angela about the chronology of any important historical events.”

     “Hey!” The woman who must have been Angela shouted in outrage, overhearing.

     “It’s ok, Ange,” Amanda consoled her, “I get my ones and elevens confused too.”

     “Moving on,” Spencer continued. “Number two. If you ever need to coerce Shayne into doing your bidding, use a La Croix. Some might say it’s his life force.”

     You nodded, playing along with the bit.

     “And finally, there are many aesthetically pleasing males here. More aesthetically pleasing than I. An epidemic, if you will.  However, even though you may be tempted, pay no attention to any of them under any circumstances. They are all intellectually my inferior, trust me.”

     You giggled, rolling your eyes at your boyfriend.      

     “I doubt that,” you said.

     “I am always correct. And I assure you, my IQ is that of an—”

     “No, I meant you know I think you’re the most attractive one here.”

     “Have you heard of the warrior known as Damien?”

     “Doesn’t matter,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around Spencer, “Because I only have eyes for you.”

     “Well in that case, I’m not going to argue with you.”

     “I thought you were always right?” You shot back. 

     “Ah, I see you’ve unlocked my one weakness: beautiful people.”

     You blushed, placing your hands on his chest. “You have a weakness?”

     “I know, surprising. But even Hercules had his own form of kryptonite.”

     “Let me guess, you fought with him,” you teased, taking a step back. “What is it, clubs? Anvils? Some mythical monster?”

     “No, it was Megara’s love. Did you even watch the Disney movie?”

     You laughed. “So, beautiful people, huh?”

     You looked into Spencer’s eyes. “I seem to have that weakness too.”

     “Then you’ll know how serious it is,” he said, “And you’ll know what the only way of defending yourself against its hold is.”

     You looked at him expectantly.

     “We must kiss.”

     “Only if it’s absolutely necessary,” you played along.

     “Very,” Spencer mumbled, leaning in to kiss you.

     Your lips met his and you wrapped your arms around his neck. He pulled you in, his hand tight around your back.

      “Spencer!”

      You pulled apart slowly and both looked in the direction of the voice. 

      “Make out on your own time, we need you on set!” Amanda called.

     “Well,” Spencer said, turning back to you. “It seems I must begin another mission—one with significantly less hot babes.”

     You rolled your eyes at him.

     “I’ll see you later then,” you kissed him gently, “I’ll try to survive as long as I can.”

     “Best of luck. And remember, I may be the Chosen,” he said, “But I choose you.”

     He bent down and kissed your hand slowly, before tipping his non-existent hat to you and walking back to set. 

     You sat down on a chair towards the back of the room, reflecting on the interaction you’d just had.

     You loved Spencer so much. It was things like this that reminded you why. 

     You watched the whole shoot, enjoying seeing some of what Spencer did as a living.  You knew he was talented and funny and dedicated—but watching him work just renewed that knowledge.

     You were more in love with him than when you got there. 

     The shoot ended and Spencer walked over to you, wrapping his arms around you and giving you a quick kiss on the forehead. 

     “Well, what’d you think?” He asked, back to himself.

     “I thought you were incredible,” you answered, trying your hand at the Chosen voice.

     Spencer smiled, “Not bad, babe. But maybe you should leave the Chosen-ing to me.”

     “You are the master,” you saluted.

     There was silence for a moment.

     “So,” you began, tracing your finger along one of his arm tattoos, “Do you think you could, um, bring some of that Chosen stuff home?”

     “Really?” Spencer raised an eyebrow.

     “Yeah, I don’t know,” you said, “I think it’s kinda sexy.”

     “You do?” Spencer looked shocked and a bit flustered before clearing his throat and covering it up.

     “I mean,” he said, his voice deeper, “Of course you do.”

     You laughed, beginning to walk towards the door, grabbing Spencer’s hand as he followed you.

     “So,” he said, putting back on the Chosen voice as you giggled, “You’ve become enamored with the Chosen?”

He paused.

     “Impressive.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope y’all liked this one. stay tuned for more spencer fics coming soon 🫶

[somehowmags]

ive discovered that there aren't a lot of one piece themed blinkies and whatnot on here so ive decided to be the change i want to see in the world.

credits for sprites:

the one piece grand battle swan collosseum and one piece gigant battle sprites were ripped by grim on spritedatabase

the gba one piece sprites were ripped by croix and harsh29 on spritedatabase

[icarusbetide]

hamilton & in the heights

i understand and often agree with the grievances people have with hamilton for perpetuating certain inaccurate narratives but i still love the way it intertwines and builds off of in the heights.

in the heights was probably on lmm's mind in 2008 when he read chernow's biography, since it won the tony for best musical that july. i can see why he was instantly taken in: the potential parallels are too good to be true. a biography about an immigrant from the caribbean, heavily emphasizing family or lack thereof. chernow's narrative (because he does create a narrative) is such a good parallel and foil to the previous musical it's actually crazy.

usnavi: the 21th century new yorker who yearns to return to the dominican republic. an orphan, but one that grew up in a strong community with love and support. family is incredibly important - he wants to find his roots. by the end of the musical, he realizes that he contributes to his culture and family's legacy by remaining in washington heights, keeping stories alive as their steady, dependable streetlight.

hamilton (musical characterized, not the historical figure): the west indian who yearned to get off of his island, and finds himself in revolutionary new york, never to look back. an orphan, but one shamed for illegitimacy. obsessed with legacy, but his own legacy, because what else does he have? he doesn't have "roots", a true community. constantly struggling between private and public duty. after his death, his wife picks up the mantle to protect their legacy, both the familial/personal and the public achievements.

i'd even argue that you can see hints of in the heights characters in hamilton. vanessa's "it won't be long now" would fit right into a hamilton prequel musical about his time on st. croix when he was still dreaming of a way out.

one musical feels burdened by the things that came before, usnavi's parents, nina's parents (and their parents), etc. etc. all passing something down to the next generation. hamilton seems to be burdened by the future and history as a concept - the weight of creating something entirely new, if that makes sense. it's only in the second act that loved ones take a forefront: philip & eliza during that tragedy. during the duel, we get theodosia (this man will not make an orphan of my daughter) and the long list of people hamilton thinks about (my son is on the other side, he's with my mother...washington is watching from the other side...eliza) right before the bullet gets him.

both are american stories, but there's clearly a very personal, continuing thread between them. i find myself willing to overlook certain issues if i think of hamilton as less an accurate retelling of a particular historical figure, but more about the themes that can be delivered effectively through that figure. i started this ramble with a point but i forgot it.

[doodleshrimps]

Madeline de la Croix - #477 Dusknoir

I finally made the Pokemon thing with Madeline! Sooner or later I'll do it with Lucia and the two ghoulettes too. The whole Duskull evolution line fits the Grim Reaper theme of Madeline :D (her plague doctor mask resembles a Spritzee

[just-antithings]

it's kind of a downer that when i get into a new thing and want to join some fandom server or engage with the fandom in general, there's always a full-on hesitance with it now. like even servers that aren't blatantly anti just feels like it's not worth from my experience?

idk maybe i have shitty luck and always join servers that are filled with repressed puritans in hiding. because almost always it's like. they're weird with the concept of adults talking to the kid members, or they're weird with slash ships (i left one server and my immediate thought was "finally i don't have to be heteronormie"), or they're weird with sex, or they're weird with dark themes. and by weird i mean "i don't want to witness this with my two eyeballs and i'm going to passively aggressively imply you're going to hell" (despite the fact you were discussing stuff in the right channels or tags or whatever)

it's like i keep meeting people whose only favorite drink is water and they tremble like an overly stressed chihuahua at the thought of flavors higher than la croix

[adarkrainbow]

Edmund Dulac's Fairy Tales go to War

Jstor Daily published an article with the catchy title "Edmund Dulac's Fairy Tales go to War". Of course I had to read it. The original article is here if you want to check it out, but I'll still copy-paste it below because it's crazy info. (And given it is quite long I will put two thirds of it under a cut)

Edmund Dulac’s Fairy Tales Go to War One of the best-known illustrators of the “golden age of children’s gift books,” Dulac was also a subtle purveyor of Allied propaganda during the Great War.

By: S. N. Johnson-Roehr and Jonathan Aprea ; December 16, 2022

Once upon a time, there was a young artist named Edmund Dulac, who built his early reputation on his illustrations for J. M. Dent & Company’s 1905 edition of Jane Eyre. Almost instantly, he became a leading name in the book arts, producing illustrations for the Brontë sisters and popular magazines. Annual exhibitions of his drawings and paintings at the Leicester Galleries, London, drew the attention of both the European and American art world. In 1910, critic Evelyn Marie Stuart, writing for Chicago’s The Fine Arts Journal, described his work as “rich with poetry and imagination, and strong in the possession of that decorative element which renders a picture universally pleasing.” His drawings were like "things seen in a vision or a mirage; or traced by the fancy of a child in the lichens on the wall, the water discolorations upon a ceiling, or the light shining through a broken crumpled shade; or, even like the things we try to decipher in the leaping flames and glowing embers of an open fire—many of these delightful sketches suggest to our fancy in some detail a variety of objects."

Dulac’s themes tended toward the fantastical—scenes from the Arabian Nights and Omar Khayyam’s Rubáiyát—with roots in the Pre-Raphaelites and not far removed from the work of Arthur Rackham and Kay Nielsen.

Born in France and naturalized as a British citizen in 1912, Dulac understandably awarded his loyalties to the Allies during the Great War. To support the war effort, he contributed his art and design skills to several charity books, including Princess Mary’s Gift Book and King Albert’s Gift Book, both published in 1914. If there remained any doubts as to his feelings about the Axis powers, they were surely erased when he published Edmund Dulac’s Picture-Book for the French Red Cross in 1915, with its cover proclaiming “All profits on sale given to the Croix Rouge Française, Comité de Londres.”

Even more convincing—and more inventive—was his use of fairy tales to not just further his charitable efforts but to possibly encourage the United States to join the war. Published in 1916, Edmund Dulac’s Fairy-Book was a subtle but persuasive example of wartime propaganda. Subtitled “Fairy Tales of the Allied Nations,” it included Dulac’s own adaptations of folk tales gathered from the nations fighting with Great Britain: France, Russia, Italy, Belgium, Serbia, Japan, and China.

Below, courtesy of the Minneapolis College of Art and Design, are reproductions of some of the illustrations from Edmund Dulac’s Fairy-Book, accompanied by brief explanation of each story.

Snegorotchka: A Russian Fairy Tale

Snegorotchka (more commonly transliterated Snegurochka), the “The Snow Maiden,” is a recurring character in Russian folklore, playing various roles, from child to adult, in stories bounded by the winter and spring seasons. By the late nineteenth century, Snegurochka had blended fully with the traditions of Christmas, often serving as a helper to Grandfather Frost (Ded Moroz).

In Dulac’s version of a common tale, Snegurochka is a girl made from snow, brought to life to add joy to the waning years of a childless couple. An elderly man and women all but will the girl into being as they shape a tiny body of snow in the woods. Snegurochka leaps to life, filling their home and souls with warmth throughout the winter. Tragically, the little girl disappears with the heat of spring weather, leaving the parents bereft.

Another version of the Snegurochka tale formed the basis of a play by Alexander Ostrovsky, which was subsequently adapted into an opera by Rimsky-Korsakov.

The Buried Moon: An English Fairy Tale

Sometimes known as The Dead Moon, The Buried Moon highlights the dangers of living in the bog country of Northern Europe.

Traveling through a bog, a personified Moon becomes entangled in magical, malevolent branches. After some struggle with “all the vile things” that love darkness (witch-things, bogle-bodies, creeping things, and the Scorpion King, to name a few), the Moon finds herself buried deep in the mud, held down with a black stone.

Of course the humans miss the Moon, lamenting her failure to appear in the sky on schedule, but who even knows where to search for her? Even the Wise Woman of the Mill can’t see any trace of her. Fortunately, just before her entombment, the Moon had managed to briefly shine her light to guide a lost and wandering human out of the treacherous marsh. Remembering this moment, the man spreads the word. Emboldened by the Wise Woman’s words of encouragement as well as the Lord’s Prayer, the local people march to the bog, fight off the Horrors of the Darkness, and rescue their beloved Moon

White Caroline and Black Caroline: A Flemish Fairy Tale

Folklorist Antoon Jozef Witteryck collected White Caroline and Black Caroline (Wit Karlientje en Zwart Karlientje) and included it in his 1899 Old Flemish Folktales (Oude Westvlaamsche volksvertelsels), an annotated version of which was republished by Hervé Stalpaert in 1946. The story can also be found in the Annales de la Société d’Emulation pour l’Étude de l’Histoire & des Antiquities de la Flandre (Bruges, 1889).

White Caroline and Black Caroline depends on the familiar figure of the evil stepmother, a woman who loves her ugly daughter (Black Caroline) more than her beautiful stepdaughter (White Caroline). Everyone and everything, from townspeople to lambs to dancing dogs, love White Caroline and equate her beauty with good. But the mother prefers her own daughter, noting “Black Caroline was so ugly;—but she was good all the same!”

And indeed, Black Caroline is good. Her mother tries no fewer than three times to murder White Caroline, and each time, Black Caroline intercedes. Poison thorns in the pillow, poison in her meatball dinner, an “accidentally” falling millstone—none manage to kill White Caroline, thanks to Black Caroline’s quick thinking.

The abrupt entrance of White Woman, queen of all the water and the woods, brings the murder attempts to a close. Not surprisingly, White Woman also loves White Caroline and promises to give her whatever she wishes—beautiful grapes, a dress of silk, a nice sailboat. Luckily, White Caroline is also good: she wishes to have Black Caroline with her. More than that, she wishes they could look alike. The White Woman has an idea:

“Little white feathers appeared on their shoulders and spread until they were entirely covered; and there they stood together, two beautiful white swans! And ever after they swam up and down on the peaceful water and no one could tell one from the other.”

The Seven Conquerors of the Queen of the Mississippi: A Belgian Fairy Tale

While there may be an actual fairy tale underpinning The Seven Conquerors of the Queen of the Mississippi, the story’s title reveals Dulac’s probable agenda. It takes no large leap of the imagination to read the “seven conquerors” as Great Britain, France, Russia, Italy, Serbia, Japan, and China, all seeking an alliance with the Queen of the Mississippi—the United States—on the fields of Belgium.

The story is straightforward and structurally repetitive—each conqueror swears an oath of loyalty, and their individual strengths combine to win the Queen and kill the King (hello, Kaiser Wilhelm II).

Dulac, or some unnamed collaborator, has penned a verse that cuts through the first half of the tale with a modern rhythm and vocabulary.

“Will you travel with me, my pippy?” “Oh! Whither away? To Botany Bay?” “But no; to the far Mississippi, Where a Queen—tooral-ooral-i-ay— Is waiting for what I’m to say.” “I am yours! And the bounty?” “Either here or in Botany Bay!”

‘Will you travel with me, my pippy?” “Oh! Whither away? To Rome or Pompeii?” “But no; to the far Mississippi: There’s a Queen of great beauty that way, And there’s no one but Cupid to pay.” “I am yours! And the bounty?” “Name your price: it shall be as you say.” And so on. Travel with me, my pippy!

The Serpent Prince: An Italian Fairy Tale

The Italian poet Giambattista Basile collected The Serpent Prince (sometimes translated as The Enchanted Snake) in the seventeenth century, including it in The Pentamerone: Lo cunto de li cunti (The Tale of Tales). Folklorist Andrew Lang drew upon Basile’s version for The Green Fairy Book (1892).

Dulac has created his own prefatory material for the familiar story, opening with the popular nursery rhyme:

The old woman who lived in a shoe, Who had so many children she didn’t know what to do,

allegedly “lived about the same time in another part of the country” even though The Serpent Prince was collected in Naples.

As the story goes, a forester’s wife, Sapatella, finds a tiny serpent in her firewood. Childless, Sapatella is startled but amenable when the serpent offers himself up for adoption (“she was a kind-hearted woman and very, very lonely”).

The serpent grows—as children do—and soon demands a wife. And not just any wife! The serpent must marry the king’s daughter. Surprisingly, the king agrees to meet this demand. Or does he? He will give his daughter in marriage only if the adopted son-serpent can turn all the fruit in the royal orchards to gold.

It’s not clear why anyone is surprised that a talking serpent can wield the magic necessary to turn fruit into gold. Nor is it clear why the king would think the serpent would fail at any additional challenge placed before him. Turn the walls into diamonds and rubies? No problem. Turn the entire palace into gold? Absolutely (“not gold plate either: it was all solid gold of the purest kind.”). The king is forced to cede the battlefield. The princess will marry the serpent.

Of course, the serpent is really an enchanted prince, and here you would think the story would end: the affianced are wed, their kingdoms allied. But thanks to an additional foolish act by the king, the prince is again enchanted (and worse), and only the princess can save him. But will she be able to outwit the wily fox standing between her and her beloved?

The Hind of The Wood: A French Fairy Tale

Dulac offers a faithful retelling of The Hind in the Wood (La Biche au bois, also translated as The White Doe or The Enchanted Hind), written by Marie-Catherine Le Jumel de Barneville, Countess d’Aulnoy. A talented and creative storyteller, Countess d’Aulnoy gave us the very words “fairy tale” in 1697, when she published her first collection under the title Les Contes des fees (Tales of the Fairies).

Though the titular hind is the star of the story, the scene opens with an unhappy, childless queen encountering a talking crayfish. Though “hearing a big Crayfish talk—and talk so nicely too—was a great surprise to her,” the queen listens carefully to the crustacean.

The reward for her attentiveness is a kingdom transformed. Beneath her feet appears “a carpet of violets, and, in the giant cedars above, thousands of little birds, each one a different colour, [singing] their songs; and the meaning of their melody was this: that cradle, woven by fairy fingers, was not there for nothing.” Soon she will be a mother!

A troupe of fairies gather around the suddenly expecting queen and ask that she welcome them on the day of birthing so they can give special gifts to the babe, who will be named Désirée. And on that special day, the queen indeed remembers to bid them come to the palace. Sadly, she neglects to invite the talking crayfish (who is really the Fairy of the Fountain) to the celebration.

Curses. But only small ones, in the scheme of things. The Fairy of the Fountain warns the royal parents to keep Princess Désirée from seeing daylight until she turns fifteen. That’s all.

Alas, the Warrior Prince lies on his death bed. Just a portrait of Désirée is enough to make him fall in love and abandon his plans to marry Black Princess. Yet he cannot see her—she will not be fifteen for a few more months. To save the Warrior Prince, Désirée agrees to travel with her two ladies-in-waiting by darkened carriage to his kingdom.

Unfortunately, one of those ladies-in-waiting, Long-Epine, is a traitor. She slits the cover of the carriage, exposing Désirée to daylight. Just a drop of sunlight turns the princess into a dazzling white hind. She instantly runs off into the forest. And that is the curse: by day, a doe; by night, a lonely princess.

The Warrior Prince wanders this very forest and soon spots the white deer. Annoyed that the animal tries to keeps its distance from him, he looses an arrow and pierces her flank. He’s sorry! Especially when he finds out the hind is his beloved, enchanted.

She isn’t enchanted for much longer, however. The Prince, even knowing all, loves her. And that is enough to break the spell

Ivan and the Chestnut Horse: A Russian Fairy Tale

Variations of Ivan and the Chestnut Horse are abundant in Russian folklore. Sometimes Ivan rides a chestnut horse, sometimes a dun. A common version of the story, known as Sivko-Burko, was collected by A. N. Afanas’ev in the mid-nineteenth century. Included in Jack V. Haney’s comprehensive The Complete Folktales of A. N. Afanas’ev (Tale #179, Vol. II), this version gives Ivan a magic black steed.

Ivan and his brothers have just committed themselves holding daily prayers over the grave of their recently departed father when they hear that Princess Helena the Fair has decided to wed. To win her favor, her suitor must leap on horseback to the top of the shrine on which she sits, kissing her as he flies through the air.

Ivan, the youngest of the siblings, offers to take on the burden of graveside prayer for a week so his brothers can curl their hair and train their horses for the challenge. One week stretches to two, and then to three. The brothers ignore their filial duties to dye their mustaches. So much attention is paid to their appearance that they even neglect to feed their horses.

And yet, when the day of the leaping contest arrives, the older brothers dash away on their mounts, leaving Ivan alone to pray and weep over his father’s grave.

It was thus that two out of three brothers miss their father’s resurrection. Shaking himself free of the damp earth, the father offers to help his youngest son. He begins to call out in a loud voice—one time, two times, three times. Ivan discovers his father is summoning a beautiful chestnut horse!

Yes, this is the enchanted steed that will take Ivan to the shrine of Helena the Fair, where—after two failed attempts—it rises to the leap, allowing Ivan to press his lips to those of the princess “in a long sweet kiss, for the chestnut horse seemed to linger in the air at the top of its leap while that kiss endured.”

After summoning the steed, Ivan’s father immediately vanishes. No matter, because Ivan is soon welcomed to supper with the father of his bride, Princess Helena the Fair.

The Blue Bird: A French Fairy Tale

The Blue Bird (l’Oiseau Bleu) is another tale that comes to us by Countess d’Aulnoy. Though there are many variants of the story found across Europe, scholar Jacques Barchilon notes that d’Aulnoy’s version is remarkably robust, appearing in a French Canadian collection, “word for word the version of Mme d’Aulnoy’s with all details,” as late as 1960. Andrew Lang also included it in The Green Fairy Tale Book.

Our story opens with a rich but miserable king. He’s inconsolable, having only recently become a widower. Hoping to comfort him, his courtiers present him with a woman dressed in mourning clothes and possibly crying even louder and longer than the king himself.

Finding solace in their similar sorrows, they decide to wed. Each brings into the marriage a daughter from their first marriage. The king’s daughter: “one of the eight wonders of the world,” the young and lovely Florine. The new queen’s daughter: “neither beautiful nor gracious,” the young Truitonne, with a face like a trout and hair “so full of grease that it was impossible to touch it.”

The queen loves Truitonne much more than she loves Florine, which wouldn’t matter if the king didn’t love the queen so much that he cedes to her every wish. For instance, he allows her to dress Truitonne in jewels and Florine in rags when Prince Charming appears at court. Despite the heavy-handed costuming, however, Prince Charming only has eyes—and love—for Florine.

The queen schemes. The queen plots. She enlists maid, frogs (“for mind you, frogs know all the routes of the universe”), and fairy godmothers. And yet the Prince will not be deflected from his plans to be with Florine. Finally, exasperated with his stubbornness, Truitonne’s fairy godmother turns the prince into a blue bird—for seven years!

It’s not too bad, at first. In bird form, the prince finds it easier to woo Florine—until the queen discovers that he flies to her window every night. Wielding her dark magic, Truitonne’s fairy godmother sends the blue bird to his nest to die.

Fortunately, every bad fairy seems to be balanced by a good fairy. This bright character finds the dying blue bird in his nest and heals him. It doesn’t seem to help much—the queen is determined that Truitonne will marry the prince even if only by trickery and deception.

The queen’s shenanigans never seem to end—this is a long fairy tale—but eventually the universe, or at the least the good fairy, finds a way to bring Prince Charming and Florine together.

The Friar and the Boy: An English Fairy Tale

The Friar and the Boy, also known as Jack and his Stepdame, reaches back to the poetry of medieval England. In volume three of Remains of the Early Popular Poetry of England (1866), William Carew Hazlitt records a c. 1585 London imprint of the chapbook verse that underpins the modern version of this tale.

The story begins with Jack, a young lad wronged by his stepmother. She starves him, she yells at him, she altogether doesn’t care for him.

One day, sent to the fields to watch the sheep, Jack encounters a hungry old man. Jack’s lunch isn’t much, as his stepmother is loathe to feed him decent food, but he gives it to the stranger. In return, the old man gives Jack three wishes.

Wish one: a bow and arrow, charmed such that the target will never be missed. Wish two: a pipe, its magic strong enough to make anyone dance who hears its tune. Wish three: an enchantment that will turn his stepmother’s harsh words into laughter.

Jack instantly puts his granted wishes to work. When his stepmother begins to scold him, her words turn to laughter. She laughs herself sick. When the Friar is sent to chastise Jack for his impudence, he ends up dancing through the brambles to Jack’s piping. Soon Jack has the entire village dancing to his tunes!

Alas, his poor old father begs for a rest. Jack loves his father, so he ceases to play. Not surprisingly, the Friar takes advantage of the pause to have Jack called before the Judge, “be-wigged and severe.”

The Friar makes his case: “the prisoner here has a pipe, and, when he plays upon it, all who hear must dance themselves to death, whether they like it or not.”

Intrigued, the Judge asks to hear this so-called Dance of Death. Jack is happy to oblige and takes up his pipe to play. Soon everyone in court is on their feet, dancing madly to the tunes. Even the judge joins in, “holding up his robes and footing it merrily.” He’s a believer, but he soon asks the boy to stop.

Jack agrees, but only if everyone promises to treat him properly.

“I think,” says the Judge, “if you will put your pipe away, they will consent to an amicable arrangement.”

Court is adjourned.

The End.

[bronzecats]

Happy Thanksgiving, Canada: Background

There really isn't a lot of information out there about Thanksgiving in Canada, so it's harder to tie it directly to a colonial narrative. An often mentioned pre cursor is the 1606 L'Ordre le Bon Temps (Order of Good Cheer), and various festivals of thanksgiving celebrated by several different Indigenous communities. The date of colonial Thanksgiving in Canada has varied over the years

Here's a couple of excerpts from the Canadian Encyclopedia:

In 1606, in an attempt to prevent the kind of scurvy epidemic that had decimated the settlement at Île Ste. Croix in the winter of 1604–05, Samuel de Champlain founded a series of rotating feasts at Port Royal called the Ordre de Bon Temps (“Order of Good Cheer”). Local Mi'kmaq families were also invited. The first feast was held on 14 November 1606 to celebrate the return of Jean de Biencourt de Poutrincourt from an expedition. Having attended the festivities, Marc Lescarbot remarked that they consisted of “a feast, a discharge of musketry, and as much noise as could be made by some fifty men, joined by a few Indians, whose families served as spectators.” .... The first national Thanksgiving in Canada was celebrated in the Province of Canada in 1859. It was organized at the behest of leaders of the Protestant clergy, who appropriated the holiday of American Thanksgiving, which was first observed in 1777 and established as a national day of “public thanksgiving and prayer” in 1789. In Canada, the holiday was intended for the “public and solemn” recognition of God’s mercies. As historian Peter Stevens has noted, some citizens “objected to this government request, saying it blurred the distinction between church and state that was so important to many Canadians.” The first Thanksgiving after Confederation was observed on 5 April 1872. A national civic holiday rather than a religious one, it was held to celebrate the recovery of the Prince of Wales (later King Edward VII) from an illness. Thanksgiving was first observed as an annual event in Canada on 6 November 1879. The date for each of the following years, as well as a unifying theme for which to give thanks (usually concerning the harvest, though anniversaries related to the British monarchy were also common), was determined annually by Parliament. The holiday occurred as late in the year as 6 December and even coincided several times with American Thanksgiving. The most popular date to observe Thanksgiving was the third Monday in October, when the fall weather is generally still amenable to outdoor activities. ... ... It was not until 31 January 1957 that Parliament proclaimed the observance of the second Monday in October as “a day of General Thanksgiving to Almighty God for the bountiful harvest with which Canada has been blessed.” E.C. Drury, the former "Farmer-Premier" of Ontario, lamented later that “the farmers’ own holiday has been stolen by the towns” to give them a long weekend when the weather was better. Thanksgiving is an official statutory holiday in all provinces and territories except Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick, and Nova Scotia. It is called Action de grâce in Quebec and is celebrated to a much lesser extent there than in the rest of the country, given the holiday’s Protestant origins and Anglo-nationalist associations.

[catharusustulatus]

If Joe Keery really does go to German ComicCon, yay! Have fun if you go! But also:

Please be respectful. He doesn’t do stuff like this a lot because he’s been disrespected and mistreated in the past, and a lot of questions are repetitive. Don’t ask questions about his personal life or his hair. Don’t ask too many ship questions.

Maybe this is niche, but if you have the chance, ask him about stuff we’ve never/seldom heard him talk about, like:

How did you get into playing hockey in high school, and what about hockey appeals to you? Do you have a favorite player? If you know how to ice skate, do you know how to roller skate?

Do you have a favorite Steely Dan album or song, and why? Was Steely Dan an inspiration on Decide at all?

Can you give us your definitive ranking of La Croix flavors?

What was it like filming Marmalade/Finalmente L’alba/Fargo?

Have you been reading anything good lately? What’s the last book that you read that made an impact on you?

Who is a director you want to work with, and what kind of movie would you love to make with them?

If Steve had a theme song, what do you think it would be?

What’s your favorite Steve and Robin moment from the show so far and why?

I have a million more. Ask good questions! Learn more about him! If you’re going and this reaches you, have fun!

[forthoseinterested]

Anime reviews

I’m not that into anime, so it doesn’t make a lot of sense for me to rate and review every anime series that I’ve ever seen, but I’m going to do it anyway. There were a few on TV when I was young that I got into watching (Inuyasha, Sailor Moon); the rest I didn’t see til my mid 20s. In total, I’d say I’ve seen 11.

If you’re not into anime, the brief glimpses you get into the anime world can make it seem strange and off-putting. The characters all talk weird, they yell certain lines at random, everybody is an exaggerated stereotype, that girl’s breasts are weirdly big and everyone’s skirts are weirdly high and those camera angles are really unnecessary. Then somehow the writing and dialogue feels like it was made for kids. It’s like a whole made by and for horny teenagers.

But as with anything, you have to find the good stuff. Most of any category of thing is going to be bad. Like, most books are bad, most movies are bad, most music sucks. Our idea of what’s good is relative, and we only ever really like the best of a given category that we find. I say that I like metal music for example, but out of all metal music out there, how much have I heard? I’m probably just listening to the top 5% of it I’ve come across or something.

I’ve been pretty careful about what anime series I waste my time with. I try watching one episode, and if it’s bad then I just quit. These are all series that were at least tolerable enough for me to keep watching. And then some of them ended up being really good.

Little Witch Academia (2017)

rating: 3/5 — length: 25 episodes

It has the vibe of the early Harry Potter movies, but if Hogwarts was an all-girls school. Then it goes off in a totally different direction, in terms of characters, theme, and story. The show is often super cheesy, but it’s also just one of the most wholesome things I’ve ever seen, and fortunately it has none of the pervy weirdness featured in a lot of the other anime with teenage girl characters (don’t lewd my akko!).

The protagonist is Atsuko (pronounced ‘ought-sko’) Kagari, known by her nickname Akko (‘aw-koh’). I first watched Little Witch Academia shortly after it came out during a fairly bad time in my life and this character warmed my stupid heart. She’s adorable, guileless, and kind, somebody with a childlike wonder and innocence and curiosity about the world. It’s a personality-archetype that many other shows try to pull off, but none as well as this one.

Akko’s dream was to attend magic school, and she gets in, which makes her very happy—but then it turns out she’s not good at school. She falls behind in her classes and she struggles at things that seem to come more naturally to her peers. But she remains positive and perseverant and just keeps trying. I loved her blossoming friends-turned-enemies dynamic with Diana, the uncovering of mysteries about their intertwined past, learning about her hero Shiny Chariot, and the great introduction of a central villain half-way through the series.

For me, a great protagonist is often enough to carry everything else, and I did just love Akko as a protagonist. She makes this show. Diana and Croix are great characters too, and the general world that LWA creates is also enjoyable—but overall, I suspect that if you don’t appreciate Akko the way that I do, LWA wouldn’t be that great critically speaking. Just solid.

Death Note (2006)

rating: 5/5 — length: 37 episodes

This series is so ubiquitously praised that I wonder if there’s anything more I need to say about it. I feel like everybody who’s aware of it probably already understands it’s good.

Death Note is a well-constructed drama with a fascinating premise, and it doesn’t fail on the execution. It starts strong, it ends strong, it’s strong all the way through. I was truly impressed the first time I saw it, and that’s still how I feel now. There’s so much back-and-forth intrigue and things change up frequently enough that it never feels stupid or stale. The character’s motivations make sense, they do a good enough job answering or covering potential plot-holes for suspension of disbelief, the rules of the world are consistent. It’s just incredible.

I’ve heard some people didn’t like the character of Misa Amane because she just felt too unreal, too crazy, too hard to believe and take seriously—but girls like that exist. Hell, I bet a lot of girls who watched Death Note would’ve done what Misa did. Some people are crazy.

The low point of the series is probably that brief window right after that one character’s death, and some people say they stop watching at that point. In my opinion, it picks up and ends up being interesting again soon afterwards, and the entire series is worth watching. I think this was the only time I was so hooked by an anime that I binge watched like a dozen episodes at a time on first viewing.

Fullmetal Alchemist (2003)

rating: 4/5 — length: 51 episodes

This was an interesting series. It felt expansive, so many characters and stories and places. What genre do people consider this? It’s like those video games that are just called ‘action-adventure’ for lack of better term. It’s ‘kid-friendly’, but apparently all that means is there’s no sex or swearing. It explores some pretty dark and disturbing themes, and I know adults who quit after the chimera dog-girl plot over on. They also really tried to hit us in the gut when Hughes died and we had to listen to his daughter crying at the funeral. Like, the fuck?

Edward and Alphonse are well-conceived protagonists, the world felt so varied, and the rules and structure of the fictional world were clearly thought out. There’s lots of great twists (like their dead mother’s body still being around as a villain because failed attempts at human transmutation are what create homunculi), great characters (Roy, mon cœur), but centre stage in what made Fullmetal Alchemist excellent was its excellent overarching story, as their search for the Philosopher’s Stone leads them to delve into the history of conflict between their country of Armestris and the neighbouring region of Ishval.

The manga the TV series is based on hadn’t finished yet by the time the anime was wrapping up, so the people making the show just had to wing it and make up an ending. And what they came up with was actually pretty good. They added a character named Dante to serve as the final-boss villain, and the plan and motivation that gets revealed is satisfying. Then it gets wild and they leave the anime world and go interact with real-life historical Nazis for some reason, which was surprisingly well-done for how stupid that sounds on paper.

They ended up completely remaking this series in 2009–2010, which was called Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, incorporating the ‘real ending’ instead of that Nazi arc, and generally following the manga more closely. That went on to become one of the most highly rated anime series of all time. Maybe I’ll watch it someday.

Inuyasha (2002)

rating: 3/5 — length: 167 episodes, then 26 more, and 4 movies

First of all, Inuyasha has some of the most painfully cringe-inducing dialogue ever. Nearly every time the main cast is talking to each other, I’m dying of second-hand embarrassment. There’s always an awkward, pseudo-romantic tension that you’re waiting to break, and it just never does. They’re always saying the wrong thing, falling on their face socially. It’s just all fucking awkward. That may be partly the localization team’s fault, but part of it also feels intentional, because it’s part of how we get more invested in the Inuyasha–Kagome ship that always feels just over the horizon. They must like each other, but neither of them will say! They’re both embarrassed! How long can it go on? Fucking hell.

This is also one of those shows that probably accidentally gave a bunch of the audience fetishes without them realizing it. Inuyasha sort of has a female-dominant pet-play dynamic going on with Kagome, with the brilliant excuse that neither of them signed up for it. In the pilot, Inuyasha is a powerful hanyō (a Japanese word basically a spirit or demon?), but wears a special artefact called the beads of subjugation, allowing Kagome—and only Kagome—to topple him over just by saying ‘sit’ (get it? because he’s a dog). So Kagome, an ordinary and by extension physically weak human with no magical powers or whatever, is the only one who can dominate the otherwise powerful and dominant Inuyasha, and it’s important for plot reasons that Inuyasha do anything he can to protect her. Also, they lowkey have feelings for each other, but the writers are just going to go ahead and tease you with that for another 160 episodes.

The world of Inuyasha is awesome. It goes through so many different acts and locations (the Gang of Seven, Mount Hakurei, the whole story about Ninmenka—the demon-tree that turned people into fruit). They did a great job not only capturing the aesthetic and feel of ‘feudal Japan’, but making the world these characters inhabit feel enormous. I don’t think it’s an easy feat for shows to make their worlds feel big. (For an example of a series that fails at this, look at Star Wars. In universe, the world is way bigger than almost any other media, but the stories they tell within the Star Wars franchise makes the universe feel very small, because you don’t see that many different settings, the same small group of characters all just keep bumping into each other, and travel happens off-screen or in an instant.)

I thought about this for a while before committing to this: I really do think Naraku (left, with black hair) is the best villain that I’ve ever seen, ever, in anything. His aesthetic is perfect. He’s ominous, manipulative, mysterious, you don’t even know who he is at first. And whenever he was around, there was an amazingly iconic and sinister track that would play, which has been etched into my memory ever since.

Here, listen to it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSzVNoX57mA

Inuyasha’s older brother, Sesshōmaru (right, with white hair), is the coolest wandering anti-hero ever. He’s extremely stoic and arrogant; he reminds me of a vampire. But he’s a peak example of ‘anti-hero’ as a concept. He’s not evil, he’s not really good, but he has conflict with Inuyasha, and he spends almost the entire anime basically just wandering around doing his own thing. He has his own personal journey of self-reflection, pondering the purpose of his existence and his place in the world, after his father died and left him an object of healing instead of killing (which he left to Inuyasha—why, father?). He ends up sort of ‘adopting’ this little girl he saves named Rin, in his own confusion, and they develop a funny relationship where she follows him because she has nowhere else to go and she thinks he must be a great guy because he saved her, and he doesn’t even really understand why he’s taking care of her, he just does.

There’s also too many characters for me to go over them all. Kikyo, Sango and Miroku, Shippo. My god, Shippo is great! I love Shippo!

At the end of the day, I don’t recommend Inuyasha. Like I said at the start, it’s a really awkward show, the dialogue is painful, albeit in sort of a fun way. The story is very expansive, but could also feel drawn out. It’s by far the longest anime I’ve ever sat through. It’s a show that I remember positively and its fantasy world and characters have meaningfully stuck with me ever since I first encountered it, but I predict that most people would rate it as ‘just okay’ and not really worth the time investment given how long it is.

Cowboy Bebop (1998)

rating: 5/5 — length: 26 episodes and done (though there’s also a movie I didn’t see).

This is another series that receives what feels like universal praise. I went in with high expectations and—after a few rocky episodes near the beginning (that weird enviro-terrorist episode? and the child who never ages??)—by the ending I wasn’t disappointed at all. The pieces came together, and overall they managed to pull off something fantastic.

The world of Cowboy Bebop is often described as a ‘space Western’. The space part is because it takes place in a pseudo-futuristic world of 2071, where any normal person can buy a small starship and fly to Mars if they feel like it, but our television sets are still bulky and full of vacuum tubes. It’s like the Star Wars approach to tech, except there’s no such thing as ‘warp’ or faster-than-light travel, meaning nobody is ever getting out of our solar system. The world is realistically gritty and dirty—not dark and dystopian, but balanced, like if there’s been relatively little social change from the 1990s (when the series was made).

This type of world has similarities to the early American westward expansion. The structures of our society are spread thin because we’re suddenly exploring all this new space and we haven’t got a great handle on the available technology yet, so we’re suddenly awash in opportunity and resources but also crime and chaos. To compensate for their limited resources while trying to get a handle on organized crime, the police issue bounties for known criminals—and the starting main characters, Spike and Jet, are bounty hunters. They ride around in their small spaceship, which they call the Bebop (‘bee-bop’). That’s the episode-one premise.

The music and animation of Cowboy Bebop contribute to its unique aesthetic. It has a distinctly artsy, jazzy feel with a wide range of pace, from slower, more solemn moments to action-oriented fights or chases with fast energy. So much effort went into the landscapes and environments, the city streets, and score that Cowboy Bebop ends up being impressive purely as a work of art, like the 1988 anime film Akira.

As with many shows, Cowboy Bebop starts off more episodic, but then after getting comfortable it introduces more overarching elements. Its major theme is one that fits well with the cowboy analogy: the misfit, the wanderer, the person who has nowhere to go, nowhere to go back to. They’re lost in the world. That’s what the main cast all have in common. And after their paths cross, all they have is each other. For a time, the Bebop becomes home.

Eventually, we learn Spike was once a member of the Red Dragon Crime Syndicate, but after getting into a conflict with other members, he ran away and can never go back—their policy is that anybody who leaves the Syndicate must be killed, and he’s therefore (to them) a wanted man, indefinitely. Jet, meanwhile, is a former cop who became disillusioned by corruption on the force, leading to other police members betraying and attempting to murder him (he survived, but lost his entire left arm, now replaced with a mechanical one).

A few episodes in they encounter Faye, a woman on the run with no memory of who she is or where she came from. She has nothing to go back to. Then they meet Edward—who’s less of a main character than the other three—a strange teenage girl (who’s often mistaken for a boy) who was abandoned by her family and then ran away from the orphanage, with no clear plan for the future and, like the others, nothing secure she could fall back on.

Something else Cowboy Bebop does excellently is the characterization of its two male protagonists, Jet and Spike. They’re both strong, competent guys with their own ups and downs. I loved their personalities and their enduring friendship.The world Cowboy Bebop depicts is rather diverse. I think in the 90s, everybody assumed there would be less racial division in the future, because humanity would all move around and intermingle more. There’s a lot of random black and other racial minority characters, and they’re all different from each other and overall portrayed reasonably.

A brief part that some people would say hasn’t aged as well is in the two-parter Jupiter Jazz, when Spike encounters a gay male drag queen or crossdresser named Julius. Faye also meets somebody named Gren, who reveals he’s gay, and then later it’s revealed he has female breasts due to having been forcibly subject to experiment in the past.

If a Western animation studio were given a script like this today, they would likely have played it more sensitively or delicately—but there was nothing really negative about this episode, and I like how it ended up. It wasn’t sugarcoated or walking on eggshells. Neither Gren, Julius, nor the couple other crossdressers you briefly see are intended to be transgender, at least there’s no clear sign of that. It’s a guy who was given female hormones against his will, and some gay guys who are crossdressing in a gritty industrial setting. The show doesn’t encourage the audience to have a problem with these people. They’re simply portrayed.

In the late 90s, the concept of a trans person didn’t really exist yet in popular culture, and especially not in Japan, which is why in some cases there’s a lot of discourse and articles about whether a character from some old anime should be understood as trans or not. Let’s just appreciate things for being good in their time.

That said, this isn’t a big part of the show. What makes Cowboy Bebop great is the exploration into the depth of its characters. Spike’s, Jet’s, and Faye’s past lives all come back to haunt them, and they all have to reconcile and decide what’s really important to them.

It’s beautiful.

The Promised Neverland (2019)

rating: 4/5 — length: 12 episodes (first season)

I personally found it a little difficult to suspend disbelief about how young these characters were—but if you’re willing to tell yourself going in that what you’re about to see are the a bunch of genetically engineered super-kids with the intellect, ingenuity, and personalities of gifted university students, The Promised Neverland presents an interesting hypothetical scenario with a compelling story therewithin.

Don, Ray, and Emma live in an orphanage, which is in a pastoral setting, out in what seems like basically the middle of nowhere. They don’t remember life before the orphanage, and they’ve never left, so this is the only thing they know. Then, in the first episode, they stumble upon a secret: the orphanage is actually a human-breeding compound, which some kind of demons are using to farm them for consumption. The whole show is about how to escape.

I’m not the only one whom it reminded of Death Note. I also noticed the person who voices Emma in the English dub is the same voice actor who plays Akko in Little Witch Academia, and she just talks the same way in both roles, so it’s like, oh, hi Akko. (I only ever watch English dubs. I can’t stand listening to Japanese. No, I don’t want to argue about it.)

I really appreciate shows that just tell a single, self-contained story and end. It only takes 12 episodes for the kids to escape, and that’s it. But then actually they ended up making sequel seasons, which I never watched, so I have no idea how good those are.

Sailor Moon (1992)

rating: 2/5 — length: 45 episodes for the main series everybody knows, plus god knows how many more

I don’t know the whole Sailor Moon expanded media franchise, only the series that originally broadcast in the West. There were like 45 episodes that introduced the main Sailor Scouts everybody knows (Moon, Venus, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter).

The themes and aesthetics of Sailor Moon have been crazy influential; she’s the quintessential girl-boss girl-power nonsense that predates most other examples you can think of, and it embraces all its own silliness and immaturity. Usagi (renamed ‘Serena’ for the English version) dresses up and becomes a super-hero thingy that fights evil because a magical cat showed up one day and told her “hey, you have powers” and she kind of just goes “ok, cool” with not nearly as many questions and concerns as I’d have had. Then at the beginning of encounters with baddies she shouts a bunch of lines that don’t sound off-the-cuff, and it’s like, girly, who taught you any of this? Was it all in the back of your head, like a sleeper agent waiting to be activated? Spoilers: yes, basically. She’s the reincarnation of the Moon Princess, so it’s like on some deep, subconscious level she already knows all of this from a past life; it all just clicks for her.

But Usagi is also just a teenage girl, so she’s lazy, whiny, irresponsible, and more like she’s playing at being a superhero (even though she literally is one and it’s not just in her imagination). It’s all dumb and cheesy but also a lot of fun, but then for a lot of us it’s just 90s nostalgia, and one of the first tastes of ‘anime’ that many people are ever exposed to.

The first English dub was done by DiC Entertainment (‘deek’), who made all their own music (and got voice actors who sometimes just shamelessly phoned it in). The result is that when the show was re-dubbed in 2014 by Viz Media (‘vizz’), they couldn’t use the music from the version that most of us saw on TV growing up. Which is terrible! It actually changes the feeling and energy of the show so much if you just put in a score with a different mood. The only other bad changes were:

Naru (‘Molly’), Usagi’s best friend at school, the one with red hair, was given a totally random Brooklyn accent in the DiC dub, even though it’s set in Japan and none of her friends or family or anyone else sound remotely like that. It was such a dumb quirk, but it was one we all got to know, and in the Viz dub, they just made her sound like any other random Japanese girl. It felt so wrong to take it away from her.

Luna, the cat, also had a unique voice in the DiC dub, which gave her a distinct, unique sound, sort of like an old sorcerer or something. In the Viz redub, she, like Molly, just ended up sounding like any other random Japanese girl. This is probably even worse, because at least Molly just sounding like some random Japanese girl made sense, because she is literally a random Japanese girl. Luna is a magical talking cat.

The other loss I hated was the loss of the iconic Crown Arcade Theme, which is reused in many episodes of the DiC version. It was amazing—it screamed trouble and hijinx, let’s go hit the town and start some mischief or something. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64Cnu9nIzzo

In addition to being girl-boss girl-power female friendship representation, Sailor Moon pushed the envelope on queer representation way before it was cool. There was a lesbian couple and a gay male couple and they both got censored in the Western version. The lesbians came a lot later in the show, Sailor Neptune and Uranus, who were clumsily changed to instead be cousins instead of female lovers, which just resulted in these scenes with obvious romantic tension that made no sense in context and just ended up making it seem like they were cousins and lovers.

Earlier in the series, two of the male villains, Kunzite and Zoisite (pictured below), were very obviously gay for each other, which American broadcasters didn’t like. But Zoisite had long hair that was often styled in really feminine ways, so somebody came up with the clever solution of just cast a woman to do his voice, effectively gender-swapping him and making their romance heterosexual. The character looked so effeminate that it worked and many Western viewers didn’t realize this tall, flat-chested villainess was a guy.

A minor gripe is that Lita (Sailor Jupiter) was supposed to be noticeably taller than the others (it’s explicitly talked about), but Zoisite towers over her and nobody says anything. They should’ve added a long where one of the girls says “who was that really tall lady” or something.

It also sort of breaks the backstory of the show. Princess Serenity, the Moon Princess, was guarded by the (all-female) Four Guardian Deities and Prince Endymion, of the Earth Kingdom, was guarded by the all-male Shitennou (Four Heavenly Kings). Usagi and Mamoru (‘Darien’ in the English version) were the reincarnations of Serenity and Endymion, and after the moon cats discover them, they became Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask. The Sailor Scouts (changed to ‘Sailor Guardians’ in the English version) are the reincarnations of the guardian deities, while Queen Beryl’s generals are the reincarnations of the heavenly kings.

If you didn’t know any of that, I guess maybe you wouldn’t think about it while watching, but it’s so wrong they ruined the five-versus-five male-versus-female dynamic that was set up, turning one of the four kings into a woman just because they didn’t like how flirty Zoisite was.

I loved Lita. My favourite girl.

Anyway, Sailor Moon is goofy and fun and there’s a reason it was so goddamn influential and still has so many people who remember it and are actively fans of it today. But if you’re a dude and you’re not generally into anime, then you’ll probably just find it dumb? Unless you find it funny. Because it is dumb, and it is funny, and I love it. But critically speaking it’s a show with a lot of problems—shallow plots, stupid writing, bad dialogue, bad voice acting, etc.

Blue Exorcist (2011)

rating: 2/5 — length: 25 episodes (first season)

I only realized recently they ended up making more seasons of this. It was originally only one season, but then in 2017 they went back and made more. I only know the one.

In some ways, the soul of this show is very typical. It’s like somebody made a mash-up by putting all the other anime in a blender. The writing, pacing, animation—like if you coded a game and you just used all the default engine assets.

The main character is a hothead teenage guy named Rin (like the little girl who travelled with Sesshōmaru in Inuyasha). Rin discovers that he’s literally the son of the devil. No, like, literally. But he wants to fight against that and become an exorcist, so he has to go to exorcist school. It’s called True Cross Academy. He gets there and it turns out his better-behaved twin brother, Yukio, is already ahead of him and literally a teacher at the school, even though he’s also just a teenage guy.

The head of the school is also a demon, but who chooses to side with the church despite being a demon, so I guess demons are usually bad, but not always? And yeah, the side of good in this show is literally the church, like, the Vatican. There’s a handful of personality-archetype side characters. I liked Izumo Kamiki, whom the other characters called polkabrows, because of her weird eyebrows that are like dots.For the most part, this show was alright. Nothing about it was really bad. It just felt unremarkable, so I don’t know why you’d watch this when there’s so many other better series to watch.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica (2011)

rating: 3/5 — length: 12 episodes

This looks like it’s going to be a typical girl-power show, but then it turns around and puts an actually-dark spin on the whole genre. A little creature approaches Madoka, the titular protagonist, with her meek voice and pink hair, to ask if she wants magical powers—reminiscent of Luna approaching Usagi to give her the magical locket that turns her into Sailor Moon.

This has the aesthetic of a dumb girl-fantasy with an annoying meek protagonist, but then turns out to be a dark spin on the whole genre. There’s a magical little creature that approaches a schoolgirl in Japan and asks her if she wants magical powers, reminiscent of Luna approaching Sailor Moon, but then it goes in a whole other direction. It’s unique and ominous, the twists are great, and the story has very little fat—finishing up in only 12 episodes, after doing everything it set out to do. I don’t even think I should say anything more!

Fate/Zero (2011)

rating: 2/5 — length: 25 episodes

This is one part of the broader Fate series, and the only part I’ve seen. The background is laughably contrived and strange, so there’s some set-up in that first episode, but once you get what the hell is going on, it tells a decent story. There’s a magical object called the holy grail, and in addition to it being a wish-granting artefact it seemingly has a soul and will of its own, and it creates this weird rules-based competition between a bunch of noble houses, who fight amongst theirselves and the winner is granted a wish, and this only happens once every couple generations. The way they have to fight is by choosing an historical figure of some kind and summoning them to command, so it’s like a weird large-scale Pokémon battle, except you’re bossing around Genghis Khan or something.

The thing this show does really well is juggling around a large case of characters who are all interesting and distinct and have to be ‘balanced’ in some way, since it’s an ongoing contest. There’s a kid who’s basically a deranged serial killer who enjoys gore but somehow they make him likable. The main plot is then all about how this fight plays out. The people who end up standing out most are Kirei Kotomine (a corrupt priest) and Kiritsugu Emiya (who’s not even a direct participant, but an assassin hired to help Irisveil—the master of ‘Saber’, the spirit of King Arthur—who’s a woman, for some reason?). I can’t be fucked remembering so many different Japanese names, so I just called Emiya ‘smokes’ and Kotomine ‘priest guy’. The longer the show goes on, the more it seems like the central conflict is about those two. They’re both fucked up and you gradually learn they have more backstory than the other characters.

I really liked the side character called Ryūnosuke Uryū, this younger guy, like a teenager I think, who’s a literal serial killer and loves blood, guts, gore, killing, and cruelty. It gets him excited and gleeful like a normal kid seeing candy. There was also Waver Velvet, a nerdy kid who gets dealt the most caveman-like of all manly heroes, called ‘Rider’, the spirit of Alexander the Great. There’s a bunch of other things I’m just not going to bother mentioning.

Oh, and then it turns out that Irisveil literally is the holy grail, whatever that even means. Fate/Zero is ambitious—but overall, its story, characters, and dialogue end up being just okay. I liked some aspects of it, but when all is said and done, it wasn’t that entertaining, and your time isn’t unlimited, so it’s not one of the ones that I’d recommend.

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End (2023)

rating: 5/5 — length: 28 episodes

This show exceeded my expectations by a lot. I don’t even know what I was expecting—I guess something average, and it was far beyond that.

The world of Frieren isn’t super-exciting or action-packed. It’s more existential, contemplative. It reminds me of Cowboy Bebop in that way, but happening in a more open fantasy setting, like if that kind of story was told in Inuyasha. I actually sort of like how these days we all understand the concept of a fantasy setting with goblins, elves, dwarves, dragons, and dungeons with chests in them, so now shows are just taking that for granted as their starting point and moving right along. Why reinvent the wheel?

Frieren (‘free-ren’) is an elf mage, and her life far exceeds that of humans—as in we know they can live for thousands of years, at least. This results in a problem, which is outliving almost everybody you get to know. Once upon a time, Frieren went on a typical adventure-quest: a party of a monk, a mage, a warrior, and a dwarf travelled north to beat up the demon king in his ice palace or something. Victory and glory all around. Now it’s 80 years later and almost all the humans alive back then have died, and within the first couple episodes, Frieren’s human friends die of old age as well. So it’s like, okay, now what?

Frieren wanders around in a world of people who all know of the band of heroes who saved the world a couple generations ago, but none of them recognize that one of those heroes is standing right in front of them—and though she’s not in hiding, Frieren doesn’t chase that glory by going around proudly announcing who she is.

After Himmel, the warrior guy from Frieren’s adventuring party, dies, Frieren cries, overcome with the realization that for as much as he meant to her, she never adequately got to know him, due to not valuing her time like the short-lived humans do. She vows that she wants to learn as much about humans as she can, and in the process she comes to realize just how much the humans she’s encountered mean to her—especially Himmel.

She then befriends Fern, a young human mage, whom she brings along with her as a travelling companion. This time she does it differently, and her mentorship and friendship with Fern ends up feeling more like two sisters. It’s all very endearing.

There’s a fair amount more I’m not getting into. The point is Frieren captures something very special and that I enjoyed very much. This is the first time in my life that I’m looking forward to a new season of an anime coming out.

Some noteworthy series I watched for one episode and then quit:

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid.

Himouto! Umaru-chan.

Attack on Titan.

I watched the whole first season of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure with a couple friends and just didn’t find it interesting enough to continue.

I remember watching episodes of the original Dragon Ball, when Goku is a kid, that seemed charming, though I’ve never gone back and watched all of it (and if memory serves, it’s long).

I also watched the pilot of that delicious dungeon anime that everyone is crazy about right now. I might end up watching more, but it has that contrived anime awkwardness I normally don’t like, so I don’t know.

[insomniac-jay]

The Gogo Girls [Redux]

The Gogo Girls are a group of Idol Heroes who serve as both Superstar and Sirenia's sidekicks as well as a legitimate girl group. Because of their status, the girls rarely see combat instead taking on more espionage missions. Much like Superstar, they have a 70s theme to them.

The members consist of:

Enbi Aimoto | Playgirl

Koneko Shizumiya | Kitty

Nayla Pryor | Hot Stuff

Inoka Amai | Sweetie Pie

Theresa "Rhea" Fox | Dancing Queen

Brandy St. Croix | Love Hangover

Milicent Mikako Ningyo | Barbie

Enbi Aimoto | Playgirl

Playgirl, later the Love & Kisses Hero: Lady Cupid, is the leader of the Gogo Girls as well as the lead singer. Enbi had dreams of being a hero, but was forced to drop out of college to care for her sick mother. She eventually got a job at the Music Divas Agency as a secretary for Superstar.

With enough encouragement from her boss, Enbi reapplied for college and graduated. Superstar selected her as the leader of a new group she was forming shortly after.

Quirk/Gift: Cupid's Arrow - Enbi can turn the hearts that float around her into a bow and arrows that she can fire at a target's heart. When the arrow hits their heart, the target falls madly in love with her.

Koneko Shizumiya | Kitty

The shy, somewhat reclusive second-in-command of the group, Kitty is not the most photogenic person. Much like her cousin Black Cat (Kuroneko Kinzan), Koneko was poor and homeless for a majority of her life until her senior year of high school. Because of her past living situation, Koneko has become very money conscious. When an opportunity to earn money presented itself in the Gogo Girls, Koneko took it.

Primary Quirk/Gift: Kitten - Koneko has the features and abilities of a cat.

Secondary Quirk/Gift: Teleconnection - Koneko can establish a psychic link with a person or object. Establishing a link with a person/people allows her to read minds while establishing a link with an object gives her telekinesis.

Nayla Pryor | Hot Stuff

Nayla is someone who already has her future set out for herself: be a sidekick for a few years, graduate to pro, and enter the greater entertainment industry. Hailing from Spain, her biggest dream-- and ultimate end goal-- is to be on the red carpet and become an international megastar. Her cousin is Firedancer (Esmeralda Domínguez).

Quirk/Gift: Fire Wisps - Nayla's fingertips contain kerosene that can be used to create small or medium sized wisps of fire.

Inoka Amai | Sweetie Pie

Inoka is the team big sister. A country bumpkin in mind, body, and soul, she prefers the simple things in life. Inoka joined the Gogo Girls because her younger half sister Ayame was going to school in the city and she wanted to live with her. Inoka doesn't care for the fame and fortune that comes with her job, she just wants to go back to the farm.

Quirk: Sweetheart - Inoka can blow out a heart shaped bubble that can be consumed. When eaten, it'll send whoever ate it into a sugar rush.

Theresa "Rhea" Fox | Dancing Queen

Another Hollywood hopeful, Rhea has big dreams of her own-- to become a supermodel. Rhea is a skilled dancer and the main choreographer for the Gogo Girls. Her hope is that both her skills and her status as an Idol Hero will attract modeling agencies. Being a hero is not something she finds long-term.

Quirk: Bust A Move - Whenever Rhea sings, it compels the people around her to dance. The closer they are, the stronger the compulsion.

Brandy St. Croix | Love Hangover

Brandy is the peacemaker and probably the most sought after member. Much like the others, she has plans for when she eventually goes solo but is comfortable with where she is at the moment. Brandy's in no rush to leave the nest. She has been told by many people she'd make a killing in jazz due to her deep but feminine voice.

Quirk/Gift: Beloved - Brandy can take on the appearance of a person her target(s) has a romantic, platonic, or familial bond with.

Milicent Mikako Ningyo | Barbie

Perhaps the most cryptic and mysterious member, Milicent is someone a lot of people want to know about. Whenever she's asked questions about her life, she avoids them or changes the topic. Not even Superstar or Sirenia knows about her past, and Milicent wants to keep it that way.

Quirk/Gift: Doll - Milicent is a living, breathing doll and as such has the power to shapeshift and turn her limbs into weapons. She's also much more flexible than the average person, as shown in her being able to turn her head 360.

@floof-ghostie @calciumcryptid @beyonettta @opalofoctober @elflynns-horde-of-stuff @pizzolisnacks @peachyblkdemonslayer @spoilercreati

[libcrtine]

daniel ezra.     he/they.     demi man.      ›spotted   at   the   met   steps   ,   nigel   dixon   ,   most   likely   listening   to   give   it   all   by   croix   with   their   airpods   pro   .   the    twenty   eight   year   old   gained   quite   a   reputation   ,   known   to   be   -socially awkward   yet   +genuine   to   anyone   who   knows   them   .   you'll   easily   spot   them   when   you   hear   about  football   jerseys   mounted   on   a   wall   ,   a   collection   of   first   edition   comic   books   ,   the   sound   of   the   naruto   theme   song   ,   thick   rimmed   glasses   slipping   down   the   bridge   of   his   nose   ,   followed   by   obsession   for   men   eau   de   toilette   by   calvin   klein   .   latest   nepoupdates   article   talks   about   the   football   star   being   overheard   discussing   the   possibility   of   breaking   his   contract   with   the   jets   and   retire   early   ,   but   i   guess   any   reputation   is   good   reputation   .   (   kels   ,   23   ,   they / them   ,   est   ,   no triggers   .   )

𝟎𝟏.

𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆,  nigel sebastian dixon 𝒂𝒈𝒆 / 𝒅𝒐𝒃,  28 years old / october 31st, 1994. 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆,  kingston, jamaica. 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 / 𝒑𝒓𝒏𝒔,  demi man, he / they. 𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏,  unlabeled in his mind, more than likely pansexual.

𝟎𝟐.

𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕,  5 ft 8 in. 𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓 & 𝒆𝒚𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒓,  dark brown & brown. 𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒔𝒕𝒚𝒍𝒆,  natural color, usually cut close, sometimes grown out a little. 𝒇𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆,  casual and laidback unless at an event or red carpet. 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎,  daniel ezra.

𝟎𝟑.

𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆,  genuine, honest, kindhearted, & intelligent. 𝒏𝒆𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆,  shy, socially awkward, unforgiving, & reticent. 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔,  reading, anime, comic books, manga, music, animated movies, nature walks, & video games. 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔,  being lied to, having his trust broken, practices that run late, being in the spotlight & being overwhelmed.

𝟎𝟒.

𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏, nigel was born in kingston, jamaica and spent the first few years of his life there. when he was seven years old, after his mother unfortunately passed away in childbirth with his younger sister, the family packed up their things and moved to the states. their father had spent his youth in the united states, new york to be specific, and was even going to be drafted into the nfl, but suffered from an injury that took him out of the league before he could even get started. that was when he moved back to his home country, jamaica, and met nigel's mother. growing up, nigel was the odd one out amongst the men in his family. while his older and younger brother took to sports like fish to water, he ended up not being as invested in them as his siblings. he had inherited his father and mother's (who was a netball player) athletic genes, but he what he didn't inherit from them was their love of sports. he would much rather be tucked away in a corner somewhere with his favorite comic book, or hidden away in his room watching anime. he was also much more soft spoken and sensitive than his father and brothers, which often made him the target of his father's disdain. nigel's dad tried his best to raise four children on his own, but he held onto misogynistic and toxic masculinity-adjacent qualities that he tried to enforce on them; especially nigel. that was a big part of the reason as to why nigel never came out of the closet growing up. he didn't want to deal with his father's disdain even more than he already did. so he kept his sexuality a secret from any and everyone; save for his closest friend growing up. once he entered his last years of high school, he began applying for colleges outside of new york; wanting to get away from his father for a while. he was luckily accepted to the ohio state university, where he was selected to be apart of the football team (a condition his father had if he wanted to be allowed to go to school outside of the state was to play football).

that was where he met who he would describe as his first love. they never put any labels on what they were, but they were definitely more than friends. and the more that they spent time with one another, the more that nigel fell for him. but he knew that no one, especially his father, would really accept their relationship. two football players in love? it was almost laughable to think about.

but he wasn't laughing when his lover decided to end things between the two of them because of their future careers. he knew that he had a point and that it was probably for the best, but he still felt devastated. he never truly got over him, and he still regrets letting things go so easily to this day. he also still holds anger and resentment towards his sort-of-ex too.

he made the mistake of venting to his father, who obviously didn't take his son being in a homosexual relationship all too well. it led to a big fall out between the two of them, which was what prompted nigel to accept being drafted to the rams, across the country and far away from his father and the memory of his ex.

nigel made the switch to the new york jets over a year ago when his contract with the rams ended. he was drafted by the jets, and with pressure from his brothers and father, accepted the offer instead of retiring like he really wanted to. he's been wanting to retire for a few years now, but doesn't want to disappoint his father, or the fans he's acquired over the years. there's nothing he wants more than to have a normal life out of the spotlight, but he knows that's far from possible now. he feels as though it's too late for him to switch lanes and shift into a new career field, especially because he feels as though football is the only thing he's good at; despite it not being something he's passionate about.

[sideboot]

third of the way through episode ten current rankings for actors most deserving of a fruit basket and sympathetic hug after what was wrought at the hands of this show

3.  juno temple, having to spend half a season playing what used to be the most fun and exuberantly joyful character in the show as doing just kinda okay or miserable, isolated from all of the scene partners she had the most chemistry excepting waddingham, lackluster exploration of how the break up affects her character as she is immediately paired up with a rando who has been lightly touched with personality in the same way la croix has flavor, complete failure to develop her workplace so that it supports the main themes of the show.  at least she gets to be in gay love for a little while.  also the hair department did her no favors.

2.  toheeb jimoh, less screentime but boy is it wasted, every plot involving his nigerian heritage should count as a micro aggression, any follow up on the rebecca plotline is deferred, the main multi-episode spanning plot of his character, until we only have a quarter of the episode runtime to fit it in.

1.  nick mohammed, all of his excellent character work of season two was thrown in the trash but only after it had first been taken out back and shot

[dumbsack]

One last flex of my dislike for Echoes and probably my last "shit on Echoes" post until the idiotic scumbags that run the game do something else deplorable and greedy. Consider this my mega post about the game with some thoughts and reasoning put into it besides *incoherent screeching*.

Echoes of Mana sucks. We all know that. I'm shouting into the void at this point. The loading times are unacceptable, co-op is a joke, the incompetent devs couldn't figure out what to do WITH A BASIC FRIENDS LIST, pull rates are absolutely awful, there was little to no testing done, Bravers is the most shameless display of greed I've ever seen in any game ever, Gingham was fucking awful, gems were a good idea but poorly executed, and characters RARELY interacted in meaningful ways in crossovers. It was a bunch of horseshit all the way through. Characters would be advertised together, only to not show up together (Duran and Angela and Charlotte and Kevin are promoted a LOT together, but only show up together in social media posts and gems (ironically getting more likes on those posts than the story chapters do...), Amanda never interacts with Sumo, Keldy never says a word to Lekius, etc. While the Secret of Mana trio get to freely interact with each other, female protags never got to interact in meaningful ways...).

The quilt/tapestry theme was so forced. We only get to see one (1) stitched together world (DoM and LoM)... And it did nothing with the crossover. Cool. And I died internally every time the dispatches said "WE'RE WEAVING UP GOOD STUFF".

What the fuck was up with the gems for SD3? No DSK/Loki vs Duran gem? No Bil and Ben vs Hawkeye? No pornomags gem? No Grand Croix gem? A good chunk of the gems for SD3 are made up bullshit. Yet, whenever someone farts in Secret of Mana or Legend of Mana, there's a gem for that. Hmm.

Don't get me started on the banners, though. Good grief. Fire and Ice, the so-called 31st anniversary celebration, was absolutely terrible. Terrible boss, ho-hum story that did nothing with the characters... I could say that about pretty much every event, actually, except for maybe 3 of them, max. (Any event with Duran in it because he was allowed to be a character, and the Manor one with Fuji, Randi, Popoi, and Blainchet.) Also, the events text was straight up broken for like a day. Lovely.

As funny as the LoM and Toto crossover was, being shilled at so explicitly at the end was the biggest slap in the face. No, I don't want the creepy Riesz statue, and I don't want to subject myself to the LoM anime. I don't want to look at Shiloh's weird lumpy, ballsack abs ever again.

I know I can't be too mean about this, but the English version has so many typos. As an amateur fanfic writer, I get it. I can't tell you how many typos I've passed over by accident that pop had to point out to me in my shitty fics after I've posted them. ... But neither of us are getting paid for writing/editing fanfic. So... Yeah.

But, my biggest problem, which I cannot overstate...

I absolutely detest how Angela's character is represented in Echoes. It directly contradicts and violates her character in TOM to the point I don't think the writer of that chapter actually played the Dragon Lord arc... Or the game at all, only getting snippets of dialogue from YouTube videos or some shit. Everything about chapter 2 undermines her arc AND Duran's completely (honeycomb: "lol I just trained hard to get magic lol xdddd")

In the chapter, she is shown training (yes, she says she had training when your main asks how she got to Cascade Cavern) and effortlessly fighting alongside Quilt, Honeycomb, and Duffle WITHOUT MAGIC, and tooootally besties with...

Okay.

No.

I'm sorry, this is not the same character as the one depicted below. The Angela in ToM is clearly a girl out of her depth and not the bad boss bitch she is in Echoes.

It's very heavily implied that Angela is very sheltered, lazy, selfish, and has probably never left Altena, expressing only a very vague understanding of the lay of the land (she couldn't even name Alrant!) Early game Angela in TOM pretty much lucks into her victory in her first fight (the tutorial fight!) expressing disbelief she was even capable of doing such a thing. She then almost promptly passes out in the cold and is luckily rescued by some locals.

Once you get into the meat of the game, she's pretty eager to pass off the fighting ("I can leave the fighting to you, right?"), immediately wants to take a nap upon reaching Jadd, bitches about Molebear Moors ("I'm filing a complaint about this path!"). Overall, it seems like she fluked her way to Wendel, making her way there by sheer luck, not skill.

None of these "negative" traits are shown in Echoes. Without consequence, YOUNGER, PRE-MAGIC ANGELA, after a cringe-inducing speech about friendship or whatever, she jumps into the fight with the Crimson Wizard alongside your stupid group and comes out unscathed...

Which is what completely undermines Duran's arc. Duran, one of the strongest swordsmen in Valsena, got owned by the CRIMSON WIZARD and almost died (and many of his fellow soldiers/knights were killed that night, ones implied to be more experienced than he is!)

"oh, but sack," you say, "she didn't fight the Crimson Wizard alone! She had help from Quilt, Duffle, and Honeycomb!"

ah yes, three other undertrained kids. That makes it better.

No. It doesn't. Let me reiterate: trained Valsenan soldiers, said to be among the best in the world, died to CW. Pre-magic Angela should have gotten hurt, or faced some kind of consequence for trying to take down an opponent like that. But no, she doesn't. I can believe she and Duran can take down Full Metal Hugger. Sure, fine. Whatever. That's just a big, dumb crab, not a powerful wizard even late game Duran and Angela still express difficulty facing even after getting stronger, judging by their battle dialogue.

"But sack! It's just a dumb gacha story! Don't take it so seriously!"

I know! But boy. BOY. BOI. AAAA IT'S SO EXPLICITLY BAD AAAAAAAA-

"Hey sack! Angela slaps the boys shit in Jadd when they approach her bed! She must be strong!"

Those are slapstick powers. Duh.

Also, this is a nitpick, but I really hate the retcon with male mages being overly present in Altena. In ToM and SD3, a soldier explicitly states the Altenish army is comprised of all women, which implies male mages are pretty rare (José, CW (who actually isn't a wizard lol he had to borrow evil powers like a little bitch)). I can believe non-mages are discriminated against, that's fine. I can believe Angela would stand up for Framaus if he was being bullied. Honestly? I think that's great! Angela may be selfish and a jerk, but I can definitely see her standing up for him for being a non-mage.

But, former besties? No. You don't talk about a former bestie like, "ew I have nothing to do with that guy!" You would probably say, "we used to be friends, but then he became a huge dick." All Angela states on the matter to Duran is "it's complicated" and that "he used to be nice". Yeah. Also lmao, the irony Framaus finally starts calling her Angela only for her to loathe when he calls her that by the time ToM rolls around is amazing. Really makes you wonder if Angela bumped her head and got amnesia or something.

Oh, and I do not find Framaus endearing or sympathetic. He's a creep. A fucking CREEP.

Ah, I get it now. Angela is too naive to realize that. Okay, chapter's issues absolved! (Not.)

Oh, and don't get me started on Angela replacing Framaus with Victor, too. Makes her look like a fucking psycho. Did the Echoes writers forget Victor exists or what? He's the only Altenish character not present in Echoes.

Fuck.

Fuck this chapter. I hate it more than Heroes of Mana, and that was a whole game of stupid horseshit and nonsense.

Echoes sucks. Angela's contradictory representation in Echoes is merely a symptom of a poorly managed, poorly written, poorly coded game.

Also, who the fuck thought it was a good idea for Hawkeye to be the Mana swordsman? You're the worst. The literal worst. Fuck you the most.