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eupheme · 7 months ago

Text

— cabin down below

dieter bravo x actress!f!reader

rated e - 1.8k

tags: cabining, co-stars-with-benefits, mentions of alcohol, references to sex and horror films, implied paparazzi trying to catch them together, oral sex

ahh nervous to post this (first time writing for him!) but excited about this gorgeous moodboard I recieved for Summer Lovin’ 24! 🏕️💖 thanks so much for hosting @pedgito, @amanitacowboy, and @chaotic-mystery!

Dieter really can talk you into anything.

The official table read is on Monday, scenes due to start shooting soon after. You really shouldn’t be thirty miles out of town right now - leaving the comforts of your apartment and the air conditioning of the limo, to hike another mile into the forest.

But you’ll trade the luxury for a chance to spend time with him. An old spot, he said. His dad’s cousin’s place, bought it off him when they needed the money. Been in the family for years.

“You gotta immerse yourself,” Dieter had told you, his arms spreading wide, “What better place to practice lines than here?”

It’s your first time in a movie with him. You’re not sure if he’s really a method actor. Equally not sure that it’s needed for a movie called Campground Carnage II - or if the city just seemed a little too loud, a little too busy.

Deep down, you hope it might just be an excuse to get you alone.

You'd be pretty alright with that.

It’s been hard to sneak around Los Angeles. There’s cameras everywhere. An obsession with one Dieter Bravo - the current hottest, most eccentric star.

You’d met before his last big break. Reading lines for Covert Affairs, but they had passed over the mutual chemistry for an actress with a little more weight to her name.

He had gotten the part, and you had gotten his number. Two desperate hookups when you both ended up in Vegas at the same time.

Only to come back together a year later.

“Long Island,” He had smiled, when he saw you, “Good to see you again.”

You had been surprised he remembered you, much less the drink he had bought. Enough alcohol in both your systems that you would’ve forgiven him if he had.

Not that you would have, though. Not with that mouth of his.

Something that you’re thinking about now, as the trees clear. The cabin tucked between them - a peeking sliver of a river cutting through the terrain behind it.

A cozy little thing, not much bigger than the apartment you’re missing. Built with thick wooden logs, two tidy windows out front, the checkered curtain pulled shut.

The key ring twirls on his finger, as Dieter moves ahead to unlock the door.

You can’t help appreciating the view, as he does. This ‘camping’ look suits him. It’s almost enough to make you a little jealous of his ability to look good in anything and everything he throws on.

A tight black tee, the hat that’s pulled down over his messy curls. Featuring an embroidered trout, with “fish want me, women fear me” scripted above and below that he found at a garage sale. Patterned crocs with matching shorts that only reach mid-thigh.

And you're at least 45-percent sure the fanny pack around his waist is filled with condoms and KitKats.

It’s been hard to keep your mind off him, on the drive over. Battering his wandering hands away, with the driver only a few feet from you. Still shy, both enthralled and not used to his open affection.

Trying to concentrate on the script. Preparing to run lines, just in case his suggestion for this weekend wasn’t some kind of euphemism.

But you kept going back to a particular scene. The two counselors - that’s you and him - sneaking off to one of the cabins in the campground.

A steamy encounter involving both the top and bottom of a bunk bed, and a lot of Bravo on his knees. Anything to showcase his physique, you’re already picturing how they’ll stage it with the female gaze in mind.

Bare back, you’re guessing. A hint of ass, but still tasteful.

The scene a fake-out - featuring a jump scare, with the shadow of a person passing by the windows behind you. Tapping into that classic trope - first to fuck, first to die.

Which might be true - if it was his first movie.

He doesn’t actually make it to the end, though. Dieter’s demise coming from a staged accident in the fishing lake, just as the movie lulls into a sense of safely. One final blow before the big reveal.

You know people will be pissed about that. As a fan of the series, even you are a little.

But the thought of having a scene with him - there is a flicker of excitement, that dulled heat in your belly - even though you know that logically, it will all be purely professional.

It’s still fun to imagine.

The door cracks open, but there’s something else with the sound. You frown, your head whipping towards the woods behind you. Searching for the source of the noise, one that sounded a little too familiar.

“Did I just hear a camera click?”

“Nah,” Dieter shrugs, “There’s no way they know about this place.”

"Yeah,” You hum, giving another glance. There’s nothing but the rustle of trees, the rush of the water. A self-conscious laugh, as you head inside, “Maybe I’m immersing myself too much.”

“No hauntings or serial killers here, sweetheart.” He smiles, “But if you’re scared I have a few ideas to get your mind off things…”

The door clicks shut behind him.

Your eyebrow arches, “Oh yeah? Like what?”

Dieter pretends to think, as he advances on you. Hands reaching out to trace up your sides, pulling you flush against him.

“Can think of a scene I’d like to start with,” He husks, eyes darkening, “There’s no bunk bed here, but I think we can make do.

Hunger flares in you, now that you're alone. Your eyes dip to the curl of his mouth, no more than a breath before you’re pressing your lips to his. A rough moan as his hands slide up your back, his tongue already brushing across your lower lip.

Tasting sweet when they part for him, your own moan swallowed as you lose your grip on your bag, letting it tumble to the floor.

It’s always so easy to get lost in him. If you’re not careful, you might just get swept away.

“You don’t want to see what the directors have in mind?” You tease, when you pull back for a breath, “Hold off on that scene until later?”

“No can do.” Dieter groans, as he pulls you back to him, “Not with you looking like this.”

You can’t help the smile, as you start the stumbling journey through the main room, wandering hands and the press of mouths.

His hand grasping your ass as your fingers slip under his shirt - the other reaching for the door he has you backed up against. A creaking swing, as it opens.

Dieter’s hands are at your hips, as soon as the back of your knees hit the bed.

“Let me taste you, baby.” It’s mumbled against your lips. His fingers dipping beneath your waistband. A nail tracing the edge of your underwear, raising goosebumps, “Been thinking about it all day.”

You remember this from before. How focused he gets. Willing to beg, shameless, if there’s something he wants.

And you’re always willing to give.

The bed is soft - covered in worn buffalo-checkered sheets - as you let yourself be lowered onto it. His hands catch your ankles, tugging you down until your legs drape off the edge.

Spread wide, so he can fit between them as he kneels. Batting your hand away as you go to push down your shorts.

“I wanna do it.” He hums. His own shorts already pulled tight, a hand coming to palm himself in anticipation.

Your hips lift for him. Nails bite into skin, grasping fabric and pulling down both layers. Easing them around the bulk of your gym shoes so his palms can press into your thighs, spreading them even wider.

A rough noise, when he sees you.

“You been thinking about this too, babe?” He coos, a thumb pressing against your slit. Rolling against the wet gleam of your center, as it betrays your desire.

You huff, the muscles in your legs flexing. Breath held as your eyes flit up to his, waiting. Watching, as he sucks your slick from his skin with a groan.

“Bet you were. Saw you eye-fucking me in the limo, all while telling me to keep my hands to myself.”

"I-I," You try to answer. To protest - to say you weren't - but his palms are smoothing up your skins. Distracting, as he slowly moves.

Those eyes focused on yours as his head tips. An open-mouthed kiss to your knee, then thigh. Moving up, as your heart races.

Inner thigh, now.

"Dee," There's a buck of your hips, with your whine, “Don’t tease.”

It’s futile, you’re certain. Unable to take what you dish out. But perhaps he’s been pushed too far as well.

“Tell me you need it.” His pupils are blown-wide, drunken already.

It’s easy to answer.

“Please. I need you.”

The next kiss is right against your slit. Messy, as his mouth covers you. Your fingers twisting in the blanket, as your knees press against his shoulders.

He’s too good. Teasing with the wet brush of his tongue. The slow creep of his fingers, the tip of one pressing against your entrance - only to withdraw just as you clench down.

Again, and then again. Slowly sinking into you, one knuckle at a time. Working you open, until you’re stretched wide around three of them - too full to form words.

“Don’t need direction for this,” His eyes flip to yours, a dimpled smile as his fingers sink deep and then curl, “Do I, baby?”

He does it again, as your answer pitches high. Your hips bucking into his touch as his tongue licks at you again. Timing it so that the point of his tongue teases your clit, each time his fingers rub against the spongey spot inside you.

He’s going to make you come. You’re too wound up, too needy for him.

“Fuck, Dieter.” You keen - your leg hooking over his shoulder, “Oh fuck, keep doing that-“

“That’s it baby,” He grins, “Improvise for me.”

It makes you laugh, which has him groaning as you tighten around his fingers. His left hand dropping to push down the waistband of his shorts. Fingers pulling from you only long enough to smear your arousal on his cock, to pump his fist until he’s covered.

It’s then that you think you hear it again. Just as his tongue slips inside you. Another mechanical sound from outside, just barely audible through the wooden walls.

“Dee,” You moan, fingers twisting in his hair. Either to pull him closer or push him away, you’re not sure, “I d-definitely heard-”

“Can’t see in here.” It’s mumbled out, gasped between your thighs.

He’s seen to that, at least. The blinds thick, the bedroom tucked away.

A grin, as his tongue flattens - licking from hole to clit, “Wasn’t planning on leaving, anyways.”

You trust him, knowing he wouldn't leave you vulnerable. The sound in your throat is muffled as your teeth clench, “But they-, what if they hear us?”

It’s only now that his head lifts, those dark eyes blown wide. Paired with a lazy smile, his lips shining as they stretch wide.

A soft croon.

“Then I guess you’d better be quiet.”

Your laugh turns into a soft groan, at the flick of his tongue. Self-conscious perhaps, but not wholly and entirely deterred by the thought of an audience.

Not when you’re with him.

“Keep that up,” You manage - as something molten floods through your belly, “And you might have to help a girl out.”

His weight presses into you as he moves up - heated, bare skin as he settles between your thighs. Dieter’s nose skimming your throat, as his hand slips between your thighs.

Just before his mouth presses to yours, swallowing you moan.

“That, baby… I can do.”

just wanted to try something fun 🏕️ thank you so much for reading! and thanks again for this awesome event!

#summerlovin24 #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo x female reader

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nerdieforpedro · 2 months ago

Text

One small step for man…

One giant leap for Dieter Bravo

Based on this Moodboard created by the wonderful @secretelephanttattoo that she made for the Get Dieter Sober event to celebrate @bitchesuntitled ‘s milestone! 😎 ❤️

My entire masterlist and blog are for readers 18+ MDNI. I do not consent to my work being used in AI, recommended on TikTok, borrowed or plagiarized.

Summary: The only thing that can motivate Dieter Bravo better than sex or an interesting script is a grudge. Who cares if we’re talking about space? If Bravo can finally one-up Leonardo DiCaprio, he’ll take his chance, no matter the effort. Turns out it was good for him in the long run.

Warnings: Nerdie style bad humor, various celebrity mentions, no specified ages for Edna and Fred but assume they’re sixty-five and over for the plot, a goat (because when I write Dieter, 8/10 times he will have a goat), space?, DiCaprio slander and implied drug and sexual activity just not in detail, also BBQ.

Word Count: a little under 1.3k

Notes: El suggested that a crack fic should be written and leave it to a five hour plane ride for inspiration 🤣 So here we are. She did look it over and laughed so that’s really all it took for me to post it. 🥰 There’s no reader, just two OCs Edna and Fred who are living the life we want to live honestly.

Main Masterlist/ Dieter Bravo Masterlist/ AO3 Link

The only time Dieter Bravo thought of space is when he would stare up at the stars naked with only his fluffy grey robe on and yellow crocs on in his backyard. It’s normally when he needs to take five from whatever party/orgy/gathering/sex toy exchange he’s decided to have this week.

There had been a recent announcement that NASA was looking for Oscar winners to sent into space to not only find a new planet for earthlings to live but also negotiate and exchange information with any extraterrestrials they may come across. Given the deceptive skills and adaptive vibes actors have, there a buzz about who may be selected to fly out into unknown reaches with a crew of astronauts. Hallie Berry and Jamie Lee Curtis had already been selected and for men, there was one slot left as (insert some dude’s name) was announced. There were still six months left and more male Oscar winners were throwing their hat into the ring.

One name irked Dieter beyond all reason given that he actually a nice guy, but Bravo deserves it more than him: Leonardo DiCaprio. Doesn’t matter that he’s a stalwart advocate of green policies and climate change. Dieter should have been able to be in ‘The Wolf of Wall Street.’ It was basically written for him and the life he lives now. Though peering back at his home, he’s going to have to give this up for a while if he wants to be considers for the program. Leo only have to give up the liquor and twenty-five year olds. Dieter’s got to give up his wide array of drugs, though since he’s fine with men and women of all legal ages old and younger, he can just let the older women and men come at him. That one lady Edna pops her teeth out and hoo boy does she do some things with those gums. Fred is one guy who knows about those gams and if you know, you know. There’s always his trustworthy emotional support goat Cookie who’s white with black spots who gave a strong “baa!” When asked if he should give it a shot.

After the night’s festivities and clean up the next day, Dieter informs his team of his plan. They are shocked somewhat, they’re aware of his one-sided grudge and if it will motivate him off the drugs, they’re willing to lean all the way in. To ensure Bravo’s success, they do a through sweep of all his homes, cars and vacation spots. They also limit his contacts and ask Edna and Fred to stay with Dieter. They’re sure that the three of them are ducking but Dieter’s also learning some chess, shuffleboard, bingo, dominoes and some mandarin from Edna’s husband, rest his sweet soul. Cookie nibbled on everyone’s ankles and stayed looking cute as is her role.

It’s announced the next month that Dieter Bravo is going for the last Oscar space on the Galactic Noah’s Ark. Most think the choice is insane and mock in relentlessly but as time marches on, Dieter gains more supporters as he’s looking and feeling better. He also gets a lot of retirees and AARP members on his side as his two housemates interview with their magizine under the guidance of Dieter’s media team.

There’s memes, TikToks, interviews and a cribs episode showing off Dieter’s new healthy lifestyle and feature his two friends Edna and Fred. Edna is sunbathing naked and it had to be blurred out entirely but was still aired surprisingly. It was touted as support for not only all body types but representing older women who are just living life. Fred was cooking up some barbeque on a grill in his plaid shorts and orange sherbert polo shirt with dress shows on and a kiss the chef apron on. He told the interview that it’s been pretty cool getting to know Dieter over the years and that he had enough hair on his chest for the both of them. It garnered a laugh and they were asked what their families thought of them being in a throple with Doeter Bravo. Edna said it was pretty fun and she’d raised her children so it was her time. She should spend the twilight of her years, doing what she wants to do and then doing Dieter. She then called him a “nice young man who’s a cutie patootie.” Cookie let out a loud “baa!” As if to agree and went to eat some grass.

There were some that had an issue with the throple aspect saying that such a lifestyle should be sent into space, but it was argued that since Dieter was rather fluid in his sexuality it should bode well for communicating with other life forms. Debates continued while Dieter kept clean, worked with Paul Mesal and his trainer to get stronger and in better shape. The speculation was that maybe Paul was now added to the throple making it a square, and as many pundits called Edna ‘the luckiest damn woman on earth.’ Paul said that he’d love to be cool enough to be in the throple but when he’s stopped by and saw both Hallie Berry and Adria Arijona there, he said that he didn’t stand a chance. The two women were just there to visit Dieter as they’d worked with him on previous projects which their reps seconded. They did stay for a week though but mainly just to meet Edna and Fred who they thought were so amazing.

Paul visited again with Denzel Washington, his wife Pauletta who Bravo normally has tea with and it turns out Edna knows Pauletta from their old sorority. Public opinion was turning in Dieter’s favor as Leo was keeping a low profile. Well outside of breaking up with his girlfriend on her twenty-sixth birthday. That didn’t go over well.

The deadline was approaching for who would be selected out of the two men so the media decided they should have a sit down. It was to fill air time but Dieter Bravo was looking forward to it. He felt stronger, a little leaner but given the barebeque Fred cooks up and sweets Edna makes, he still has small belly. DiCaprio looks lean but has bags under his eyes from sleeping alone without his girlfriend and only his Oscar in the bed.

Both men were ask questions about what they would do if they encountered aliens, what to do to get along with fellow crew members, what they might eat in space, how they would establish and keep good vibes going and what kind of planet would they want to live on. The questions were going fine until Leonardo said that he felt sick during the sit down and had to go to the hospital. Given that he was so sick from not sleeping, it looked as though Dieter was the clear winner and was announced as such a week later.

Dieter Bravo is going into space over that pretentious prick!

A celebration party with sparkling wine, kool-aid, Edna’s sweet potatoes, Fred’s smoked pork shoulder and some Mac and cheese brought over by the Washingtons is has that evening. Did Dieter ever expect to be sober? No, but he didn’t expect it to be this full with friends either.

The Oscar winner is once again standing in his backyard while festivities occur inside, though they’re calmer and full of laughter instead of groans and sweaty bodies. He’s fully clothed, in his crocs, brown pijama pants and t-shirt holding Cookie and petting her. “I did it girl. I’m clear as a bell and going to space. I wonder of they probe or have tentacles. Who knows? But I’m going to find out. May the vibes be with us Cookie.”

May the vibes be with everyone but especially the following 😘:

@morallyinept @schnarfer @chronically-ghosted @sp00kymulderr @covetyou

@yopossum @whocaresstillthelouvre @toomanytookas @beefrobeefcal @trulybetty

@sin-djarin @megamindsecretlair @soft-persephone @604to647 @chaithetics

@inept-the-magnificent @djarinmuse @sunshinehaze1 @lotusbxtch @yorksgirl

@westside-rot @maggiemayhemnj @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @readingiskeepingmegoing

@littlemisspascal @pascalsanctuary @tinytinymenace @yorksgirl

#crack fic #pedro pascal characters #dieter bravo fanfic #dieter bravo #pedro pascal fanfiction #fanfiction #dieter in space #petty dieter #get dieter sober #Nerdie’s fics

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