#critical thinking is fucking nonexistent anymore

[happy-radio]

Do you think Chappel Roan's refusal to endorse Kamala Harris is why she lost the election?

Let that poor lesbian breathe oh my god

If you let celebrities and influencers dictate who you vote for then you're fucking stupid, and this country is fucking stupid if this ask represents the serious mindset and reasoning people have as to why Kamala lost.

This is what happens when kids don't get left behind, Bush. Some kids needed to be left behind

[slasherscream]

I love your writing! And you just get my craziness and character obsessions. I was thinking what would happen if reader had a bruise cheek or lip, and refuse to tell them what happen. Then they discover that the reader was the one who beat the shit out of someone for saying something about their partner, and how proud yet pissed off they will be. I’m think Crazy Ass Girls Gang, need more possessive and protective FMC. Thank you!

warnings: yandere behavior - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Tiffany Valentine - Tricks you into thinking she’s gonna be normal about it. She purses her lips when you won’t tell her anything, but quietly rushes off to get the first-aid kit. WATCH OUT! You have just activated a trap card: emotional manipulation. Her most powerful weapon. She’ll silently and dotingly take care of you. Disinfectant. Gentle Hands. Careful bandaging. Petulant silence. Painkillers lovingly dropped in your hand. Big sad eyes staring up at you. When you inevitably break and tell her what happened she could melt! She does melt, straight into your arms. You’re gonna be covered in lipstick by the time she’s through with you. Her hero. Don’t worry, she’ll help you clean up… eventually. Later, you’ll have to help her clean up too. It was so romantic of you to fight for her honor…. But she'd never let someone live after they hurt you, silly.

Jordan Li - Won’t drop the line of questioning until you’re damn near ready to fight her too. She hates that you’re hurt. She loves that you wanted to defend her. Jordan gets a lot of criticism, sometimes it seems never ending. The fact that you feel so strongly about protecting her, not because you think she can’t fight her own battles… but because she shouldn’t have to do it all alone? It means a lot. Still, she doesn’t want you getting into fights. Let alone fights over her. It doesn’t matter how badly you hurt the other person. If there are marks on you Jordan is going to go find them for round two. “You like to put hands on people?” Words spoken seconds before disaster (she’s ignoring the fact that you started the fight. Jordan could give a shit about semantics.)

Nancy Downs - Don’t wanna tell her? Cool! Get ready to experience her favorite couple’s activity besides shoplifting: abusing your coven bond to read your mind! Hooray! It will hurt badly. Because Nancy always makes it hurt when you keep her out on purpose, or hide things from her (or when she thinks you’re doing that.) But don’t worry, after she realizes how sweet you really were, she’ll make you feel all better. Cooing over you as much as she ever allows herself to coo. Cleaning your cuts. Healing you with her magic. Trying to ease the fever that always comes whenever she uses your bond in a way she shouldn’t. She thinks you’re the stupidest, sweetest thing. You’re witches. You don’t have to use your fists anymore to win fights. She leaves you with the coven and goes to enact a witch’s vengeance on whoever dared to lay a finger on you. 

Jennifer Check - You’ll try not to tell her but she immediately starts making such wild accusations you have to just come out and admit to why you’re injured. “I can smell someone on you. If you wanted to get beat up to get your rocks off you should’ve just told me, I’d happily beat the shit out of you.” Start talking quickly! She looks like she’s about to start fulfilling that nonexistent wish now. Once you tell her she has to suppress a smile. She’s a demon. She doesn’t need you playing knight in shining armor over what some jealous, mouth-breathing, loser is saying about her… but, it’s kinda hot that you did. She’ll show you just how hot she thinks it is. Then you two are gonna take a nice little drive, and you’re gonna point out the jackass who put bruises on you. She’ll fuck you again after she’s full. “Thanks for finding my next meal, baby.” 

Victoria Neuman - Victoria expects you to have better self control than this. Not telling her what happened isn’t an option. Ever. The look on her face when you first try and insist that nothing happened is enough for you to quietly admit you got into a fight. Her blood pressure sky-rockets. You two have an image to maintain. You’re her spouse. She has enough problems as it is. She’s thinking of viral videos, nightly news, seedy gossip magazines doing think-pieces: do we really want this person standing behind the president as first spouse? When you tell her you fought one of the Boys for trying to convince you she’s a monster? Well…. She goes a little softer. Victoria will pull you into the circle of her arms and thank you for being so loyal to her. She means it from the bottom of her heart. She’s also dreaming of the day she can pop their fucking heads. Touching you. Talking to you. Trying to turn you against her… they’ve crossed her last line. 

Carrie White - The moment she sees you she’s in hysterics: “Oh, Angel, what happened?!” You’re really gonna sit there and not tell her anything? She’s worked herself into an anxiety attack within seconds. She can hardly open the first aid kit, she’s shaking so bad. The sound of your voice is always so soothing for her that you’ll start telling her the story just to have something to say. She listens quietly while she cleans you up. You’ll have to pull her into your lap before long, and kiss her gently. You’re all she has in the world and it scares her to death to think of you putting yourself in unnecessary danger. You’ll fall asleep curled into each other’s arms. You whisper soft reassurances: “Nothing’s gonna happen to me / I’ll always be here.” Carrie tries her best to listen. You’ll wake up alone, but wander downstairs just as Carrie walks through the front door. She wanted to get her knight in shining armor some breakfast from your favorite diner down the street. She watches you eat with a big smile, and thinks about how she’ll have to burn those clothes in the trunk of the car. She couldn't risk them trying to hurt you again.

Ginger Fitzgerald - Don’t piss her off. If you don’t tell her exactly who touched you she’ll rip the entire city apart. Women, children, men, everyone. Anyone. “Do you want me to do that? Huh, baby? Is that what you want me to do?” No? Then start talking. She won’t be able to see through the blood-lust long enough to take care of you. As soon as you say a name Ginger’s out the door. She’ll only return once she’s thoroughly covered in viscera and gore. She’s still dripping with it when she crawls into bed with you, smearing the blood across your body. She’ll lick at any injury you have, until they’re clean and closed, your skin smooth and unblemished. She’s the only thing that can leave marks on you. She’ll kill anything else that tries. “You don’t have to lift a finger for me, baby. If you want someone hurt, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you.” Just run your fingers through her hair and try not to cringe as your fingertips get stained red. 

Patricia (Split) - She’s devastated by the state you come home in after she allows you to go out on a walk all by yourself for the first time since you were…. taken. You’d been so good for her. So obedient. So sweet. She wanted to reward you. And now your eye is starting to bruise, and your clothes are all askew, and your knuckles are swollen. Her calm demeanor cracks, and it’s a struggle to stay in the light. She takes deep breaths, centers herself. None of the others are what you need, right now. You need her. She strips you down, runs you a bath, won’t even let you hold the washcloth. It’s only as she’s patting you dry that she can force out words, finally: “What happened to you, sweet thing, hmm?” The guilt nearly brings her to tears. Months of keeping you close and look at what just a pinch of negligence has done to you… You try to assuage her guilt. You tell her you ran into a neighbor, who’d seen the two of you out together once Patricia trusted you enough to accompany her for little things like grocery trips. You say it’s your fault you came back to her in this condition. That you just couldn’t stand the vile things they said about her. Her face drops into an expression you’ve never seen. It’s gone in an instant, replaced by that comforting, ever present smile she wears for you. She takes you by the chin and kisses your forehead: “My little sweet thing. Playing knight, are you?” You had her love before. Tentatively, you had something like trust. Now Patricia trusts you completely. Even so, you won’t be going out alone again. Patricia trusts you. But it’s clear she can’t trust the world to be gentle with you. Don’t worry, though. All you need to do is ask, when you want to feel the sun on your face. You never see that neighbor again, no matter what time of day you and Patricia go walking.

A/N: thank you!!! we need more batshit crazy women with something wrong with them! Batshit crazy women with something wrong with them unite! if you enjoyed these headcanons consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writer's fuel is engagement. Xoxoxo

[melonnabar]

MATT MURDOCK BPD STUDY??

From what I gauge with my own personal experience with having BPD, I think Matt possesses some borderline tendencies. I’m not diagnosing him really, mainly because while I have BPD, I am not a professional and not every one person’s experience with the disorder is the same as mine. Most of this is comparing the symptoms I have with some of the observations I’ve made with Matt from both the comics and the mcu show (and maybe a lil projection LOL)?? Will dump random comic panels in here as well :0

For a lot of people that have BPD, the main driving factors for 90% of everything is an intense fear of abandonment and a lack of self-worth.

Matt I think, does have a fear of abandonment, and it manifests in the form of him pushing others away despite him wanting otherwise. He assumes they’ll all just hate/reject him anyway. And this, he tells a lot of lies, keeps a lot of secrets from the people he cares about the most out of the fear that they might hate him and leave him even if it proves to be counterproductive. He wants to love people, and he wants to be loved back, but his fear of intimacy keeps him isolated from the people closest to him.

A lot of that definitely has to do with his mom abandoning him as a child, his father dying, and being raised by Stick. Stick beat into his brain that he should never trust people, that they’ll end up hurting him and leaving him anyway if they found out about what he was truly capable of with his senses, so why bother? (This is something shown more prominently in the show) And then he goes and abandons him too. That, and the prolonged verbal abuse from the only person he had left to latch onto definitely fucked up his brain.

When put into potentially triggering situations (such as being scrutinized/criticized by the people who care about him) I’ve recognized that he reacts like a person who’s been perpetually stuck with the defense mechanisms they’ve never grown out of as a child. As a kid, he wasn’t exactly allowed to lash out, to be upset, to have his feelings validated as a real person, and so all of that buildup he never got to properly experienced inevitably seeped into his adult life.

His self worth is basically nonexistent. He believes that he’s the devil, and as mentioned before, undeserving of any kind of love and attention from people. I also find it fascinating with the way he acts around different people. Most people generally do act differently depending on who they are hanging out with, but Matt transforms into a completely different person. Foggy has pointed out that when Matt is with Elektra, he becomes a worse person– that he gets more reckless, impulsive, and violent when he’s with her. I definitely believe that Matt was ‘living’ through his deep attachment to Elektra.

Matt suffers from a pattern of unstable interpersonal relationships. He either leaves them or fucks up something in the relationship (What Matt did to Milla as an example 😭) , they leave him, or they get killed. A lot of the turbulence in his relationships have to do with his mindset of his unwillingness to believe that they would choose to be with someone like him. It’s the “you’ll get hurt because of me” and the “why would you love a mess like me?” He’ll frequently get into heated arguments with the people around him, and sometimes he’ll end up saying something that’ll drive them out of his life. Matt will always regret it after, but will convince himself to avoid any further confrontations in a stressful situation because he doesn’t want to cause anymore trouble.

This pattern of thinking is pretty synonymous with the extremes of idealization and devaluation as well. Take his relationship with Foggy for example. Matt can go from putting Foggy on a pedestal and treating him as his “favorite person” to immediately holding contempt towards him and scowling at him (sometimes leaving too). He treats a lot of his his romantic partners like this too.

He is obviously extremely impulsive and is prone to fits of anger and violence. His entire nighttime career is dedicated to risky behavior and putting himself in a place where he’s literally just fighting the entire world even if he’s bleeding out half of the time. He knows that he’s slowly killing himself by going out and doing the things no one ever asked him to do, that he’s hurting himself, his relationships, his livelihood, but he can’t stop. I’m also 100% sure he experiences suicidal ideation straight up as well (it’s more explicitly shown/mentioned in the comics??)

Savior complex aside also, I think Matt only feels alive when he’s out there helping people, which in turn helps him cope with a lot of his psychological issues. I think feeling helpless and not doing enough is something that’ll eat away at him constantly if he doesn’t put on the suit.

Idk, sorry for the long rant?? I rly wanted to get this out for awhile, hope this is somewhat comprehensible 😭😭

[demonsfate]

maybe somewhat controversial but saw somethin on a confessions blog saying this and i guess i do kinda miss when rping felt... sillier at times? like with both the existence of magic anons & dash commentaries. things just feel Stricter or More Serious now? not sure how to put it. dash commentaries do still happen, but not as frequently as i used to. like GOSH, i remember 5+ years ago, i'd have my character saying something bizarre and it would BLOW the entire dashboard up. like almost all my mutuals would be commenting on it, a lot of "silly drama" would happen because of it. some would agree with my muse, some would prosecute them. that doesn't really happen anymore. though, i also understand. i get that ppl have boundaries, but sometimes it really feels like you have to walk on eggshells lest you upset somebody.

i recalled one time this character was just being AWFUL to mine (mine who has done nothing wrong lol) just hurling insults, mistreating them, whateves. so y'know, there were dash commentaries about this and it eventually lead to the other mun getting very upset that their character was being "villainized". and it's like ... don't ... write an antagonistic muse if you don't want that? or the very least, don't write them BEING antagonistic toward innocent people? i mean, when ppl's muses & anons used to bully abaddon, i actually loved it. because indeed deserved it, he's a horrible horrible person who mistreats and kills the innocents. and plus it's just fun ok? i love conflict - regardless if it's angsty, serious, or silly conflict.

and magic anons... i get it can be a flawed concept. (ppl can send their Thinly Disguised Fetishes in it - not that i care but obvs other ppl would rightfully care) but i still thought it was very fun because it's like temporary or mini aus. it plunges characters into otherwise impossible scenarios and then give you new thread concepts based on those scenarios. i'd say even to this day, i still accept magic anons. but that feels pointless to say because they're virtually nonexistent anymore.

this was all i was gonna discuss in this post, but i can also understand why the rpc is often... less engaging anymore? why we have a problem with communication, why we have a problem with less anons being sent out. this isn't a generalization, of course - there are other reasons why this happens. but this is something i've personally experienced in the past, and it makes me think it could be the same for other people. it's just the fear of being blown up at, again - upsetting somebody.

i've seen people be legit hateful towards the anons they get A LOT. like an old rper i've stopped writing with would literally call the anons "assholes" and trying to "ruin fun" because the anons would just comment on the threads or ask questions regarding the threads? and it's like i thought that was supposed to be a common thing... anons like that just help add insight to how the muse is feeling regarding a thread or somethin. but the way they reacted was so unnecessary hostile? when they could've politely told anons to stop or just... fucking deleted the anons like lmao. and it's not just this too but i've seen other people just react bitterly to certain anons they get. or this one time where somebody REQUESTED for CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM and i sent an anon giving my criticism, can't remember quite what it was but obvs i said nothing mean or insulting - i just told them a problem i noticed and gave tips on how they could possibly improve (AGAIN, THEY ASKED FOR THIS) and they later went on their blog talking about how they got ANON HATE???? HELLO????? so yeah, i understand not liking certain anons you get or whatever. but ppl react to them with so much hostility, that it makes everyone else afraid to send anons anymore because they'd rather say nothing than upset the user, especially if they're gonna be potentially villainized for something that is virtually harmless.

then there is just talking to people ooc. hell, i've had somebody who followed one of my old blogs (this was like a few years ago iirc?) and their rules had that blood was one of their triggers. so i told them that i tag that so they don't have to worry and they literally said something like "I didn't ask you to :/" and that's it??? and then they were just rude to me the entire convo until we eventually unfollowed lol. not to mention all the skype & discord contacts i add over the years and then we just stop talking in no time...

anyway, i'm not saying everyone is like this at all! there are MANY super cool people in the rpc, many people i have a lotta fun writing with here. but when you look back at all the bad experiences, or even looking at the bad experiences at are currently unfolding, it makes more and more sense why a lotta the "silly" rp aspects that ceased to exist. why there are no more magic anons, and why dash commentary & anons in general are becoming more and more scarce.

it was this post that inspired me to talk about this. which i actually don't agree with everything op said. in fact, i wouldn't even say the primary issue of current threads is romance or smut. more so, i noticed that fluff / slice of life threads with no conflict is what makes up for most threads nowadays it seems lmao. which is also understandable, because again - it's a popular known issue within the rpc that it's hard to have conflict in threads, lest somebody legit gets their feelings hurt OOC!!! hell, this has happened to me a few times because i often play antagonistic muses. which again, is another issue that makes people feel like they're constantly walking on eggshells. but anyway, it just inspired me to think about and discuss this.

[side-vermin93]

So, I was busy staring at the new teaser because my chimp brain demanded it when i found this.

Those are plates, knives and what we can assume to be either forks or spoons although I'm leaning more towards the former. And this points to 3 possible theories.

Option 1: The Worker Drones are mimicking what they believe a prom to be, they may be copying all kinds of Human cultural habits (although not quite grasping the subtleties)

Option 2: This is another flashback like in 'Heartbeat' although the presence of the 'Cockroach' thing says otherwise.

Option 3: Worker Drones are capable of eating and enjoy doing so (They do have tongues from what we can see, and while they are essential for speech they might also be sensory 'organs' maybe for taste-testing for the richer Humans or something?), although what they're eating is beyond me considering any Human food supplies are either nonexistent or so completely stale and rotten that it can't even be called food anymore.

There's a few more images I also found while using my FNAF degree of "Manually pouring over every single pixel of every single frame of every single episode" and i found this

In the scene where Doll crushes the 'Roach we can see some kind of text, at first I thought it was just random technobabble until i read closer.

'It must be [Illegible, maybe 'Eliminated' judging by the letter count although the blur is causing issues] Already'

There could be more text hidden within the scene but I wasn't able to find anything else that stood out as much as this did.

But then, what is Doll? And who is the 'It' in the text? Is she some kind of infiltrator loyal to the company? Deployed to watch over the Drone colonies to maybe find a weakness or destabilise them? Some kind of 'Anti-Disassembly Drone' Assassin built to kill both Workers and any rogue Disassembly Drones that the squad leaders (in this case, J) were unable to kill?

And who, or what is the 'It' some kind of critical structure to the colony? N? Maybe even Uzi?

So I dug further, scrolling further in the video to the ceiling shot in Uzi's room and...

Once again I'm sorry for the poor quality, I'm zooming in on each individual poster and a couple things we can note

Uzi is clearly incredibly shaken by her encounter with the Solver J and Disassembly Drones in general. We can see a frankly ominous drawing of a Disassembly Drone with the characteristic X mark and sharp teeth (posted below)

2. Note the 'Strange Drones Found' newspaper clipping I posted above along with another that I think spells out 'Drone Disappearance' which leads into another newspaper/report I found.

'Gravitational Waves Detected Site 45'

From these newspaper/clippings I have a feeling these were either made shortly before the Core Collapse that wiped out the Humans on Copper-9, or VERY shortly after, most likely in the interim between the Collapse and the appearance of the Disassembly Drones.

Now, dear reader at the moment I'd like to direct your attention to gravitational waves, I'm not an expert in physics can't remember much about it and I will probably make a physicist scream in pain from reading this, but I do remember that gravitational waves are something produced by black holes and other incredibly massive objects.

Atleast naturally. Now this is just me spitballing but I think these 'Strange Drones' Doll's effect on the door, Uzi's mirror breaking, and the newspaper about gravitational waves are all interlinked.

I have a theory that the Absolute Solvers in Worker Drones are either an offshoot of the Company versions, a naturally ocurring 'mutation' in their programming or were stolen by a cadre of rogue Workers and modified by them to fight the Company. It could be what drew their attention back to Copper, it could even link back into that 'Doll infiltrator theory' I was talking about. Alas we don't know shit about fuck and I'm left with more questions than answers.

As for the effect on physical objects, the 'Telekinesis' could be the cause for these gravitational waves, some kind of incredibly advanced gravity technology created by the Solver when needed? I don't *think* it's magic but at this moment all cards are on the table.

Thank you for reading this far and let me know if you also happen to find anything. Im noticing that Glitch and Liam are hiding a tonne of details inside the episodes that we're only just barely seeing. I encourage you to also dust off your "Fnaf PHD of "Manually searching every single pixel for clues"

I'm left with more questions than answers at the moment, and all we can do is theorize and keep digging.

[frazzledsoul]

Thinking about the claims on here that I keep seeing that criticizing Rory Gilmore in any way is "misogyny" and well, no. I believe that in the OS although she does fucked-up teenage things and makes mistakes, generally she remains aware of her foibles and tries to make up for most of the bad things she does or at least minimize the damage. The narrative during the OS does seek to have Rory aware of the harm that she causes to others and is willing to punish her when she fucks up: for Lorelai, I feel it tries to argue that she's always right and is reluctant to have her apologize for her behavior. This is not to let Rory off the hook when she uses her love interests against each other or cheats or is cruel to her mother, but at least there's enough of a moral underpinning in her story that she's aware that she shouldn't be doing these things.

AYITL Rory is a different story. She's kind of a nightmare most of the time. She's basically living her life like her father did, like we see Logan and his friends do: fumbling around, choosing to be rootless and uncommitted, fumbling the opportunities she is given because she doesn't feel like applying herself to them, and being generally uninterested in improving her life until Jess comes in with his huge biceps and perfect hair and emotional stability and inspires her to get her shit together. Even then, she continues to kind of be awful. She throws a tantrum because Lorelai doesn't want her to write the book the way she wants (by exposing Lorelai's private life) and whines that if Lorelai doesn't let her do this she'll have to GET A JOB SHE DOESN'T WANT (the horror!), she continues to mooch off of Lane even though she can afford to get her own place, and to top it all off she has (unprotected?) sex with her engaged ex-boyfriend who she knows is going ahead with the marriage and is now living with his fiance and gets pregnant (even though Logan gave her a key to her own room and told her he didn't expect anything else from her). Yes, she makes up with her mom and tells her know she won't go ahead with the book if Lorelai doesn't agree to it but I don't think that makes up for so much bad behavior. And yes, she was at odds professionally and we can empathize with her crisis but she does a lot of cruel things and is generally incredibly irresponsible and selfish and I don't think the fact that she couldn't get the job she wanted really excuses the affair with Logan whatsoever or Rory's general indifference to how it affected Logan's fiance or the risks she was running. It takes Rory all of a day to realize her dalliance with Dean is a horrible idea and to remove herself from him and she was immediately apologetic for trying to use Jess to cheat on Logan, but she carries on with Logan in AYITL for months if not years and doesn't seem to really care about Odette (and even lets Mitchum call in favors for her). Any moral compass she had during the OS is more or less nonexistent: she only seems to give up on Logan when she realizes the situation isn't good for HER anymore.

Pointing this out is not misogyny any more than pointing out that her multiple infidelities during the OS were cruel and hurt people who didn't deserve it (except for Dean, because who cares about him). If you respect Rory as a morally autonomous individual, then you also respect that she is responsible for her own actions and the effect they have on other people. That's not hating her: that's respecting that she can and should do better.

The (fictional) world isn't going to end over this. She's not a supervillain. However, it is okay to point out when one of your favorites does stuff that's messed up.

[nonegenderleftpain]

Okay, so I have some things to say. I know that you made another post apologizing for this, but I'm using this as a learning opportunity for you and other city queers. I'm gonna start with the most condescending thing in this post, and the thing that your entire post (and so much of this cruel and rude mentality) is built on.

"If you are from a red state you just don't know better, but I do."

I'm not going to address the level of pretentious condescension in that statement, because holy fucking yikes, but I will address how this is fucking stupid. I've lived in red states my entire life. I grew up (and live in) the Midwest, in Indiana. Growing up, Mike Pence was governor. My senior prom, I got thrown out of a McDonalds for being there with my date as a couple of bisexual women (we're not women anymore, but the point is that the Religious Restoration Act got us thrown out of a MCDONALDS under Pence). I am currently participating in protests against anti-trans legislation that, if passed, will cascade into a hellscape for me. I may have to flee Indiana to Ohio or Michigan, neither of which currently have anti-trans legislation being pushed. I grew up getting beat up in the locker room for being a dyke. This is the culture I've grown up with.

But I've also lived in Austin, TX. I've seen queer community and city queers in the depths of the most dangerous political climate for queer people. To say I don't know better because I grew up in a red state - to say I'm not capable of fucking critical thinking because I grew up in a red state - shows how little you think of rednecks and our intelligence. My accent has earned me more belligerence from city queers that my transness has from bigots where I live. My family is from Appalachia, and my mother spent my childhood beating the Kentucky accent out of me because she went to Yale and decided that being Ivy League made her intelligent and her kids talking like stupid hicks would make her look bad. You are no better than her, echoing that mindset. Rednecks aren't morons. We have eyes and brains and can comprehend what it would be like to live in a place where we're safe, and your "I'm smarter than you ignorant rednecks" statement is not only ignorant, it's cruel.

Now that I've addressed the fucking enormous elephant in the room that is your distaste for people you think are too stupid to conceptualize the idea of a better life, I'm going to address some other things. First - I'm sorry you've had such a horrific experience in Georgia. No one should go through the things you've been through. Those things are not a reason to lash out at your community, or to act like we're "sugar coating" what it's like to live here by enjoying our cultural heritage. I get that you hate the south (and by extension, the midwest, we share so much culture), and if you hate it, I'm gonna give you the same advice you're implying here, which is to fucking leave. It's not your home, like you said, and that's fine. Then leave.

Not that easy, is it? Even you, who has no roots here, can't just pack up and move, because it's expensive. Because it's scary. Because packing up all your shit and finding the money needed to travel across the country, put down a deposit, find roommates that won't try to kill you for being queer, find a new job, find new doctors, apply for new insurance... This shit isn't as easy as "stop making up reasons to stay in a place that *I* hate and think you should hate, too."

Now let's add *our* variables. You say you see us, so let's give you something to see.

I took this photo out the window of my car driving home from the doctor. Ten miles from here is a city center. When I get in bed at night, the sound of traffic is nonexistent, and I can bask in the quiet of a Midwestern night. When I go out to visit my Aunt and Uncle, I get to drive through miles of farmland, surrounded by cattle, horses, and hardworking people that feed a huge population of this country with the corn and dairy and soybeans they grow in the blistering heat and oppressive humidity of the summers, and fight against in the sucking, biting cold of the winter. We get full seasons, here, of vibrant fiery leaves in the fall and cascades of tulips and lilies in the spring, and when the heat and humidity of the summers chokes us, we sit on the porch with ice-cold mint lemonade made from scratch in the kitchen and watch the babies play in the pool. We make chili in the winter, thick with starch and cheese and heavy with cumin and sugar, and we wade through the snow to the barns to check the horses blankets at night. Have you ever had a horse gently eat a cookie from your hand while barn cats rub against your legs? Or kissed your girlfriend hidden in the cornfield? Or rushed down a massive hill in your sled, dodging trees and laughing as the hunting dogs try to keep up?

I rode our tractor on my Pappy's lap, learning how he did his work and getting taught the rules of tending the land while still too young to ride a bike, and when I got older, I sat around the bonfires learning about how Great-Granny's illiteracy lost her her land in the hollers of Kentucky to government men who stole millions of dollars of coal from her through lies and deceit, knowing she couldn't read their contract. She was whip-smart, and haggled with them for those mineral rights, but she didn't know how much they were worth and they used that against her. My family is dirt poor and we were trapped in that place by city men, who watched us die in the mines on land we used to own and counted their millions happily. And you have the gall to tell us we're making excuses and reasons to stay?

This is our home. My Granny and Pappy wept when they had to sell their land and leave to get away from city expansion and exploitation. They'd lived there for fifty years, and raised generations of grandkids on their land, and they had to sell it and move away. My Granny lived in Mountain View with my Daddy while he finished his last few years in the Army, and she was miserable. Soon as she was able, she moved back here to be on farmland again, living with her sister so she could be home. You may not understand the draw of home, but that's not our problem. If you've never seen miles of stars on a country night, you can't understand the horror of the city blocking them out.

I wanted to leave. For so long, I wanted to leave. And when I did, I saw it wasn't any better than it is here. The government may be less overt about wanting us dead, but I got misgendered as much in California as I do here, with the added side-eye or condescension of city folk that think my accent equals stupidity. I lost most of that accent because people convinced my mom that that condescension was warranted, and I mourn what could have been if I'd been allowed to live and thrive surrounded by my culture. It's not perfect here, but I've had less interpersonal conflict about my transness here in Indiana than I ever did in the city. People here might be ignorant about trans people, because it's scary to be out in a red state, but I surround myself with people who care enough to learn, and that is not as hard as you seem to think. You couldn't pay me, now, to live in the city. My roots here go deep, and I will stay and fight for my home instead of turning tail and running like a coward to a place that doesn't want me anyway, because I don't talk like you.

And none of this even addresses some of the other shit you said, about pro-military, pro-cop white queers. You not being around the PoC in red states doesn't mean they're not here, with their own rich communities that they fight for as viciously as we do. I have more in common with the PoC redneck queers throughout the south than with any New Yorker who thinks they're better than us. Do you know how big the queer Jewish community is here, in the middle of the fucking bible belt? I've never seen so many trans people in one place than before I stepped foot in the Indianapolis Hebrew Congregation meet and greet.

And as for the soldiers - there is a huge difference between being pro-military and pro-soldier. I grew up in a town where you had four career options. Walmart, full-ride scholarship out of town, military, or overdose. It's legal and encouraged for recruiters to lie to children about what they get from joining the military, and our local recruiter had lunch with the freshman. If you weren't smart enough to get a scholarship, you enlisted to get your college paid for, and just prayed that we didn't go to war before your four years were up. Us supporting the poor kids taking up their family legacies to survive is not the same as supporting the military industrial complex, but unless you've been in those spaces, I repeat, you *cannot understand.* And your ignorance of living life like that is not our problem.

I'm sorry you're uncomfortable. I'm sorry you're unsafe. I mean that truly. But you have to think before you speak when it affects the rest of your community. We do not deserve your condescension or ire because we don't want to tear up a root system that has kept us fed and housed and clothed our whole lives to move to the city. I feel safer with the old redneck dykes than I ever will in California, because I know that they'll watch my back and not judge me for saying y'all unironically and coming home with dirty boots. I think you should meet them, and learn not to judge a space by its worst people.

The Appalachians are older than trees. You cannot blame us for feeling comforted by their majesty.

white trans ppl from liberal suburbia in blue states will go on and on about how scary it is to be a trans person right now but the second they encounter a trans person from a red state they’ll be like “ummmmm why would you live in such an uncivilized place lmao maybe you shouldn’t have voted for republicans like if you don’t like how conservative it is then just leave” as if these states aren’t populated by black and brown people who face intense voter suppression and poor people who can’t just up and leave. not to mention the fact that all those articles y’all are sharing about the state of trans safety? those are in our states and we will be the ones who go down first. so instead of laughing at us dumb hicks from your liberal safe haven, consider instead shutting the fuck up and actually doing something to help us. because they’re coming for you next.

[dolugecat]

On some Japanese social issues I had learned about at uni and abroad):

(Rb ok!)

Legit had an epiphany about the true hidden meaning of the last arc of Mob Psycho 100. It’s hella projection but for real there is nothing neurotypical about Mob or Mob Psycho. I do not wish to enforce my interpretation on others (ironic bc I do that all the time but this is a serious social theory). There are some interesting and very sad social issues in Japan that the west really doesn’t understand but would I think help people understand a lot of context behind not only Mob Psycho, but also a lot of other anime. I learned this at my shitty university (prestigious but horrific) and while studying abroad in Japan and talking with Japanese peers. Get ready here we go (and tw for bullying and darker things):

Unfortunately in East Asian education systems, bullying can be extremely intense. Growing up I assumed it was over exaggerated extremely in anime for drama but it really can be so horrific. From what I’ve heard, there is often a single kid or so who is just shit on by everyone else, even the teacher. Mogami land *is* the reality of some Japanese kids. I’ve read that in Korea, this social punching bag sometimes is just the darkest skinned person (yayyy colorism /angry) and or someone who does not fit in. I mean, we have that in America too, but maybe not as common for the bullying to be as focused on one misfit rather than several. These kids just can’t escape the stigma too, kids from other schools find out they were a major victim at their old school and it starts anew. Thus there is so much stigma and incentive to join in on bullying so you aren’t the one. Sadly, this also ofc leads to higher suicide rates. That’s where the “shoe on building roof” anime trope comes in, bc somehow taking off shoes is relayed to death (I forgot why sorry)

There is a difference in how intense in general high school vs college is too. In the West, commonly college is the more intense curriculum and is harder than high school, but in Japan it’s usually the opposite. Grind suuuupppeeerrrr hard for entrance exams (huge standardized tests that determines what college you can qualify to) bc unlike the ACT or SAT here, that test is by far the most important factor for college admission. Then chill and relax a bit in college. Can’t relate. Name and prestige is very critical for job application, more important than here. That’s why planning out your future is sooo much more intense for Japanese high schoolers than in America, and why there is sooo much more pressure to excel in high school than here. Japanese school years and holidays are done different than ours, I’d suggest looking it up.

Social prestige of going to an American high school or college is nuts. Like whyyy do you value our shitty education, Japan’s is much higher quality (it’s bc we neo colonized them). Being able to speak English is very, very highly valued and any association with Americans make you cooler. From my experience, some Japanese students got very excited to practice speaking English with us, and their biggest issues with learning it is pronunciation, lmao. Wasai english is unique slang that is indeed English words but it’s kinda different and it’s kinda jarring to remember lol. So, Teru having parents that are working overseas isn’t too uncommon, idk about leaving him absolutely alone, but I did have a ex-friend who just came from Japan in middle school who’s situation probably wasn’t too far off from that. Empty wealth with no love, it’s no wonder those kind of people can end up being huge bullies (minori?)

I did a presentation on 引きこもり(hikikomori) for which means “shut in”, (like Serizawa) and it’s fucked up. It’s a social phenomena where according to some Japanese researchers a mix of undisciplined parenting, guilt/not living up to expectations, and hopelessness makes an alarming amount of youth/ young adults literally never go out side their house/room. Often a parent is “enabling” the behavior by supporting them, but idk the articles seemed a bit victim-blaming to me when I read it, but I don’t think I should make a judgement too hard, not my place. I will say I do suspect and believe I read something to support that ASD might play a role in hikikomoris (there is pitiful resources for autistic people in Asia, much much less support than even here, to the point I don’t think most know it exists). Like come on, with the other points I laid out my personal opinion as an Asian American with autism is that it really seems it’s unknowing ableism against autistic classmates, but I didn’t grow up in Asia so I don’t want to say.

Mental health in general is tragically quite abysmal in Japan, and with it being so hyper competitive and brutal work culture, it’s no surprise birth rate in Japan is so low; some Japanese young adults say it seems unethical to bring a life to such hostile world. Suicide rate is of the highest in the world. It’s fucked, I’ve interacted with some of the locals in Tokyo and they were so nice, but the business men just looked dead inside, it’s so sad.

Relationships between child and parent is also strained bc of this intense work and school culture. Quality time is too scarce when you gotta work so much. And the pressure from parents to do well in education or else you might end up socially stigmatized is rough. Bc your job is who you are, it’s hyper capitalism (thanks us for making them do this)

With autism being so unknown, support for parents in raising autistic kids is almost nonexistent. What happens if the “darker” side of ASD shows up in kids? I used to be a menace when I had meltdowns, I felt so bad but really just became so indiscriminately violent. See where this is going? Legit, I think ESP is a sort of metaphor for neurodivergance to ONE. There is so much stigma around it, and even less way for kids to understand why they are different than the others. My Korean family can’t admit we all got ASD, too much fear and internalized shame.

I got finally diagnosed with ASD as an adult and I’ll tell ya, I relate too much to Mob hurting Ritsu. I felt so bad, but also not in control, I knew what I was doing but not how to stop. Luckily, is was blessed in that my hyperfixations involved science and logic, so I did well at school. Sadly, our boy Mob just don’t got the passion or ability to do well at school. His kanji is very bad, even to point of not being confident he wrote a kanji (世) they learn when they are 9, in elementary school (thanks @katyatalks). Him being a bit berated by his parents for having bad grades and bending spoons seems harsh to Westerners I think, but IMO it’s pretty tame from what I’ve seen of some Asian parents (I get to say that lmao). Ofc, however the shaming is very real and Mob just agreeing with them about how weird and stupid he thinks he is so sad. There is even more pressure for the eldest to be better than here, I feel from some interactions. Nonetheless, it’s implied Mob is quite emotionally detached from his parents, even though he loves them, which also adds to his emotional complex. Combined with originally fragile self esteem and feelings of worthlessness, we got one emotionally stunted boy. However, contrary to common belief people with ASD are sometimes hyper empathic and experience emotions very intensely. We are prone to having “meltdowns” which if not assisted with can be quite violent if very intense. For me, my worse meltdowns as a kid came from when I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted, it seemed selfish and cruel of me but I couldn’t control it. I wanted to be a good kid, so why did hit my moms leg at target when she refused to buy me Pokémon toys? I couldn’t come up with a good reason for why my mind just commanded my body to do bad things, just a single thought was controlling me, I want I want I want I want I want ____. Which I argue could be what ???% represents… bc well…. Yeah….. hmm….. not in control of self (mob unconscious), selfish (not actually, I’ve forgave myself but my “normal” kid self was so ashamed), destructive, hurt family, wanting to stop but can’t, that’s kind of…. Too relatable.

But legit, since realizing my new HC, I’ve started to think of the last chapter of mp100 when I “explode” and it helps me feel better and I do gain “control” a bit easier. I don’t feel so bad anymore either, Mob!

[mostlysignssomeportents]

What the fuck is "carried interest"?

For at least a decade, US politicians have made symbolic, unfulfilled promises to do something about the "carried interest tax loophole," a thing that virtually no one understands. Yves Smith's explanation will remedy that.

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2021/04/private-equity-and-hedge-fund-barons-having-a-hissy-over-carried-interest-grift-because-biden-isnt-staying-bought.html

To understand carried interest, you have to start with capital gains tax. In the US, wages - money you get for working - are taxed at a higher rate than capital gains (money you get because you sold something you own at a profit).

Supposedly, that's because capital gains are critical to pension savings. That's important given the annihilation of employer-backed pensions and the rise of "market-based" pensions dependent on working stiffs figuring out how to win at the stock-market casino.

But that's not a very compelling reason to protect capital gains. 401k-based pensions are a near-total failure.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/25/derechos-humanos/#are-there-no-poorhouses

Virtually the only people who have adequate 401ks are the very earliest workers who transitioned to them, at a time when employers offered generous matching funds as a sweetener while they got rid of real pensions with a guarantee of a dignified retirement.

The real beneficiaries of tax-preferred status for capital gains are not retirement savers, they're wealthy people, especially super-wealthy people, because the richer you are, the more you make from *owning* stuff relative to what you make from *doing* stuff.

As with other wealth-preferencing tax policies, the super-rich use the nearly nonexistent benefits to the middle class as an excuse for wildly regressive policies (think of the agitation for a SALT Cap repeal or the near-elimination of estate taxes):

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/28/inequality-r-us/#neotrumpism

The idea that people who make money from toil should be punished because they didn't make money by owning things is obviously fucked up - not least because if you tax workers' wages it leaves them with less money to buy capital on which to realize gains.

And if you let the ownership class retain more of their income, it lets them buy more stuff on which they can realize those tax-preferenced gains. Preferential tax rates for capital gains are a way to make workers poorer and owners richer, period.

So that's capital gains. What about "carried interest?" It has nothing to do with "interest" on a loan - it's a way for a specific kind of very, very rich person to pretend that what wages they *do* receive are actually capital gains and eligible for tax-preferenced treatment.

The name "carried interest" dates to 16th century mercantalist sea-captains, paid a 20% share ("interest") in the goods they shipped ("carried").

It's not the 16th century anymore, and the beneficiaries of carried interest aren't sea captains, they're money managers.

If you run a hedge fund or a private equity firm, you're typically compensated in a "2-and-20" scheme: every year, you pocket 2% of the money you've been given to manage, and 20% of any profits that money has realized.

These are wages, not capital gains. The money in the fund isn't your money, it's someone else's (money managers investment in their own funds is a token sum, 1-3% of the total), and your share doesn't come from selling something you own, it comes from doing a job.

PE and hedge fund managers make millions - sometimes hundreds of millions - every year this way, and because of the carried interest loophole, they get to treat those wages as if they were capital gains.

That's how it is that if you work your guts our bending steel at a sheet-metal plant, your wages are taxed at a higher rate than the wages of the distant finance-ghoul  who bought that plant, debt-loaded it, and drove it into bankruptcy.

So carried interest is bullshit and yeah, we should kill it. But as Smith points out, that would be a largely symbolic victory: there are many new tax-gimmicks that money-managers could use to shift those wages around and maintain the pretense that they are capital gains.

The only reason that these ripoff plutes are even fighting about the loophole is that they find it aesthetically untenable that the US government should poke holes in the risible fiction that their wages are, in fact, capital gains.

The thing is, PE and hedge-fund managers really do see themselves as saviors of civilization, somehow characterizing their ruinous, real-economy-destroying financial engineering as socially necessary.

In support of this, they cite hedge-fund and PE takeovers of health-care and renewable energy -two vital sectors driven they've actually driven into crisis and, frequently, collapse.

https://www.nber.org/papers/w28474

As Smith points out, the fact that killing carried interest will merely trigger new accounting fictions to maintain the status quo tells us that this isn't the fight we should be having: instead, we should eliminate the tax-preferenced treatment of capital gains altogether.

If we taxed capital gains at the same rate (or higher) as wages, we'd eliminate the entire purpose of carried interest shenanigans - and we'd blunt the lobbying power of the casino-riggers who stole our pensions and forced us to rely on the market to support our old age.

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #33: In Which I Write the Word ‘Quantum‘ 19 Times

Dang, I forgot what happened at the end of the last issue. It was pretty important, too, but I don’t have time to reread. Maybe the establishing shot can help me out?

Oh, that’s right, Rewind happened!

Everyone’s pretty jazzed that Rewind is here, non-exploded, and supposedly alive. Megatron carries this ridiculously small man over to a table, while Skids is busy admonishing Nightbeat for trying to put the pieces of this mystery together.

That’s one of the two first canonically, openly gay Transformers, Megatron. You bet your ass he’s important.

Nightbeat’s dragged Nautica over to look at that poster for Crosscut’s play they saw last issue. Together, they discover something interesting, and it’s not that Nightbeat’s chin has elongated to the point of absurdity. On this future ship, the play was completed and produced a mere few weeks after the initial launch of the Lost Light.

While this is going on, Rewind wakes up and asks Skids what the hell is going on. Skids, likely not wanting to poke at farm-fresh trauma, glosses over the fact that everyone on this ship was violently murdered, and that they found Rewind blacked out inside the hollowed torso of his brother-in-law.

…This is a dark story line.

You see, the joke here is that “Dark Cybertron” sucked major chrome.

Megatron reminds everyone that they’re still in grave danger every moment they stay aboard this ship, but Skids is more concerned with Rewind’s mental health. Which is sweet, but maybe not the thing to prioritize in such a precarious situation.

Rewind takes the fact that Megatron is an Autobot now pretty friggin’ well, as well as the introduction of gender into his species. That is, until Nightbeat, the king of social graces, saunters up to the scene to ask Rewind what the hell happened to the ship. He does get his answers, despite Rewind being horrified to the point of speechlessness.

Over at the hole in the wall, Nautica and Riptide are taking a gander at the quantum drums, which house the quantum foam for the quantum engines so quantum jumps can happen.

As Nautica explains the process by which quantum travel works, she realizes that the answer to what happened to everyone who disappeared was right in front of them this whole time.

Quantum, quantum, quantum- doesn’t even sound like a word anymore, does it?

The data slug Rewind made corroborates this theory, showing a series of events that definitely didn’t happen to the Lost Light we’ve been following throughout this story so far. The data slug contains this Rewind’s version of dead Rewind’s “Little Victories”, the travelogue that was never completed, where the question “are you happy?” revealed just how emotionally unhealthy most of the crew is. I’d like to imagine this Rewind’s film is called “Small Achievements”, or perhaps “Dear Fucking Lord, We’ve Been on this Trip for Three Hours and the Captain Has Been Killed by a Goddamned Soul-Vampire”, or maybe even “Where the FUCK is Our Therapist”.

The DJD came into the equation by way of someone having led them to the Lost Light. We get a flashback panel of the gorefest, in which Tarn appears to have learned how to fly, given the angle he’s coming from.

Because Rewind’s big thing in this series is being the guy who records stuff, the DJD take the opportunity to make some movies of their visit to the space yacht.

James, why do you keep getting Rewind involved with snuff films? I’m starting to get concerned.

Now, the thing about Rewind is that he’s almost always accompanied by his other half. Where is Chromedome, anyway?

He’s dead, that’s where.

Turns out, when you tell the DJD that you won’t do the thing they want you to do, they have a habit of doing nasty things in retaliation. Chromedome got stabbed in the friggin’ visor with his own finger needles, because Vos enjoys ironic deaths, I suppose. There’s some other stuff that’s implied to have happened, but we’ll get to that once we learn a little more about the DJD themselves.

While Rewind recounts the grisly tale of his husband’s demise, Riptide notes that the quantum foam has begun to spread at a remarkable rate. This is a bad thing, because that shit can and will explode, given half the chance, and this wreck is floating right above a potentially-inhabited planet.

Though I could have sworn we established that this planet was a Smartplanet, and therefore very much populated by students and staff. I don’t know. Maybe we conveniently forgot that, so we could make this a learning moment for Megatron.

Jiminy Christmas, Megs, do you even listen to yourself?

Skids, who has had a very long day of finding corpses and learning about quantum theory, snaps at Megatron, telling him that in order to actually be an Autobot, you have to have a little frickin’ compassion for those outside of your peer group.

Which is sort of contradictory to the Aequitas trials, the Killswitch debacle, the POW situation back on Cybertron, and whatever the fuck Prowl’s whole deal is, but maybe Skids is speaking about his own, personal relationship with being an Autobot. Hopefully so, otherwise he needs a class on critical thinking, STAT.

Never mind all of that though, because the problem just got a lot worse- the quantum foam has expanded to a point where any holes in the stuff are too small for the Rod Pod to get through. We’re going to have to get creative if we want to save the day.

Luckily, we’ve got a quantum duplicate of just about the tiniest little dude in the franchise here to do the job. Now we just need another, equally tiny little man, so the quantum drums can be shut off at the same time. Nautica commits more microaggressions, and this gives Getaway inspiration for a witty quip, which in turn gives Skids a brilliant idea.

The gang heads down to Brainstorm’s lab, to look for the mass displacement gun that was used for treating Ultra Magnus’s nanocon infestation back in the 2012 Annual. While they search, Nautica explains just why the hell the Lost Light disappeared in the first place. You see, quantum duplication acts on the Cain Instinct— it’s fine, as long as the duplicates don’t perceive each other. However, the moment contact is made, it says “oh man, guess I’m gonna have to end you” to one of the duplicates. The contact in this case happened when the Coffin Rodimus was brought aboard the ship.

Anything that wasn’t aboard the Lost Light at the point of the takeoff/explosion was never duplicated, and thus wasn’t erased from reality once shit started going to hell. This is why the Rod Pod is still around, and why the remaining cast are— well, the remaining cast.

While this conversation is going on, Nautica and Nightbeat uncover yet another dead body; it’s Brainstorm, and he’s a little underdressed.

…Someone run a paternity test, I think Cyclonus might be the father.

Also, Brainstorm’s a double agent.

Fucked up.

Getaway is furious that a Decepticon has been living on the same ship as him for the last six months, right under his proverbial nose. Even Megatron’s surprised, stating that Brainstorm isn’t usually who the recruiters aim for.

So, no mass displacement gun, and now they’re aware of the fact that there’s a traitor on the ship who’s had access to a LOT of weapon tech. It’s at this point that Megatron decides to stop lying by omission and tells everyone that he can mass-displace, since he used to turn into a handgun.

Smashcut to Megatron and Rewind floating out in space, the former now not much taller than the latter, as they traverse the web of quantum foam to get to the drums. Nautica instructs them from the Rod Pod. If this works, anything produced or connected to the quantum engine will be neutralized, and maybe we’ll even get the other Lost Light back! YAAAAAY!!!

Y’all really let this man go out there to fuckin’ kill himself for the greater good, didn’t you?

Rewind is honestly pretty chill with ceasing to be, seeing as he watched 200/+ people die today, including his long-time spouse.

Jesus. I’d say get him a therapist, but in order to do that, we’re going to have to wipe him off the map anyway.

Rewind asks Megatron if the Chromedome that isn’t his and his duplicate are still together. And I mean…

Luckily, Megatron has the good sense to lie.

With that, they flip the switches, and deactivate the drums.

And that’s a series wrap on Rewind! Congrats to Mr. James Roberts for the esteemed honor of burying the same gay twice!

Later on, everyone is back inside the Rod Pod, as their disappeared shipmates return from being nonexistent. Chromedome pops back in, and Skids is on him like a shark, telling him to go on the roof. Skids doesn’t even try to explain why. Which, fair. How the hell do you explain to someone that their dead husband’s quantum duplicate survived both a terrorist splinter cell attack, and the laws of quantum sci-fi bullshit crashing down on his tiny, tiny body, and that he’s right there on the roof waiting for them?

Welp, there goes the Chromedome/Dominus endgame. Shame, that.

Looks like Chromedome finally hit the threshold for having earned Roberts’ pity, and won’t be directly targeted by the plot for a little while. This isn’t something you see very often, so let’s really soak this in.

…Someone had to have told Rewind what happened to the other Rewind, right? I wonder what that conversation was like.

Back inside the ship, Blaster gets word that the Lost Light has reappeared. As they navigate towards it, Megatron requests that an encrypted call be made to Rodimus, to discuss the Brainstorm problem.

In the interim, Ravage is offered the opportunity to be a part of the crew, so he doesn’t have to keep skulking around in the shadows. We don’t get an answer from him, as our focus shifts over to Nightbeat and Nautica.

Nightbeaaaaaaaaaat, stop stating the themes of the comic verbatim! People are going to start thinking you’re a shonen anime protagonist!

Nightbeat’s somehow managed to keep ahold of the briefcase that they found on the other Lost Light. Unless Brainstorm’s boyfriend is in there, I don’t think this one was the work of Huey Lewis and the News’ hit single from the Back to the Future soundtrack.

Over on the Lost Light, specifically in Swerve’s, Brainstorm’s making his way through the crowd, briefcase held gentle like hamburger as he goes. He makes it to the bar, where Atomizer tells him he can’t have his briefcase in here. Brainstorm has what most would accept to be a healthy response to being told “no.”

It’s what I would do.

[iatrophilosophos]

You've just got ur like. Future utopian post-gender society, where babies are grown outside of human bodies, there are no nuclear families, fathers don't exist and mother is a unisex term, every baby gets three mothers + General Communal Care, comothering with your romantic partners is discouraged, 2-3 out of every group of 3 comothers breastfeed via artifical hormones, mothering is a Thing you Decide To Do that is treated more as somewhere between an experience and occupation rather than a permanent identity, kids come of age and name themselves around 12 and then they Aren't Your Kids Anymore, gender roles and gendered behavior are nonexistent... gendered pronouns are done away with in favor of per/person/perself.

And there are no trans people. Not one. I don't think the people from the society use words like woman or man, but they say male and female based entirely on CAGAB and that distinction is never particularly questioned even as the social construct of gender is dismantled. It is not actually in any way hostile towards gender critical TERFism, in fact I'm sure there are TERFS who love this book.

I mean like, I recommend it if you want a well written 70s time travel magic-y (tho, not fantasy) sci-fi that is primarily a critique of psychiatry. The utopianism is quite silly from a number of angles but as a book about madness, it fucks severely.* I am actually thoroughly enjoying it so far and if you are the kind of person who can enjoy or find entertainment in books full of like intense misogyny/gender essentialism then like, I think you will find the gender weirdness in this one mild by comparison. It's just a very crystallized picture of why fully recognizing gender as a social construct =/= trans & I'm just rotating that part in my mind a lot.

*caveat I'm only abt halfway thru

Marge piercy's woman on the edge of time is a fantastic example of why recognizing that gender is a social construct & not feeling a strong internal Sense of one's CAGAB is in no way incompatible with being cis

[feuqueerfire]

KinnPorsche Episode 1 - 13 Live Blogging

Now that there are like 12 days left until the end, thought I’d start the show. I’m glad I waited until now to watch the show because I’ve seen a lot of opinions and some clips here and there so that I can kinda adjust my expectations better to avoid disappointment (apparently it's got: great acting, the plot is shaky/sometimes nonexistent, delicious dynamics, more comedic than expected, more romance than mafia). 

Honestly, regardless of what this show does or doesn’t do well, I’ve read some of the AO3 fics that were completed before the show aired (or like up to episode 2) and some writers/fics write suchhhh good Kinn/Porsche dynamics that I’ll just go back to those + newer fics. 

Also, it’s funny because I know like the first 2-3 episode stuff because I didn’t care about being spoiled for that and then hardly know anything from ep ep 5 - 10, but know almost everything regarding character/relationship dynamics from ep 11/12 lol.

Episode 1 (June 27)

I’ve watched nearly the whole episode from gifs when it first came out + read some of the comments on r/boys_love On Air post for this + listened to the BE Podcast’s episode on episode 1 like 2 hours ago, so I wonder if that’ll hinder or aid my enjoyment of this.

the gelato dick joke i’ve seen gif sets of

Apo unbelievably attractive

I wish the first scene we see with Kinn was in the actor’s native language or one he’s fluent in.

also the iconic “People say I’m more like my mom”

ngl i don’t really see why Kinn killed that random guy. Just as a warning to make sure the big guy doesn’t cheat anymore?

Porsche’s charming ass “50 thousand” (Though I don’t get why Kinn needs his help)

i don’t get what was up with the goons lol there were so many of them and I’m guessing they were sent by the man Kinn kinda threatened, why did some of em try to kill Kinn with guns and others kinda just had knives and hit him and stuff. I should stop looking into this because wtf were them just missing the shots from 2 meters away lol

my never ending Porsche beautiful comments goddamn

they use gu/meung with each other

omg slight crypto criticism, as there should be. I know the uncle’s a Problem though

their fight choreography is pretty good but makes me freaking dizzy

the inhaler ad thing lol

oh yeah Chay calls Porsche Hia. I didn’t expect that in the fics

Porsche and Chay are so cute but I can barely enjoy it because I know the happiness is boutta go down the drain because of stupid ass uncle

I’ve seen both Porsche’s uncle and Kinn’s dad in other BLs

omg Porsche is a student?

alsjnsja I knew Jom was Porsche’s friend’s name cuz of the BE episode but this is hilarious, why’d he give a real persons name T.T

so Kinn got his watch back that he gave Porsche? he got it for 700k but it should be 2mil?

Kinn’s so brash lol first how he dealt with the other mafia guy that lead him to be chased and now just kidnapping Porsche lol

Porsche is so beautiful and full of audacity. Makes me wanna read fic inside Kinn’s head as Porsche speaks to him with such callousness. omg he spit at Kinn’s face. Unrelated but i read a fic where Kinn spit in Porsche’s mouth it was great 👍

Porsche really fights dirty lol

lol the music as Porsche jumps into the water

oh yeah I think I kinda remember that it was Kinn’s father who wanted Porsche as the bodyguard, not Kinn himself

oof the uncle

I really like Porsche and Chay’s scenes. The way they were still joking around but teary eyed and trying to stay strong for each other. The letter was so fucked up though like I get why he had to but omg imagine waking up the next day after all the horribleness of the night before only to find out your brother has vanished and you literally just have 0 family left

Here’s the thing. The K: “don’t forget your life is mine now” P: “My life is mine” is good for the show, that type of pushback is interesting. However, this line is also soooo good for the dynamics of the fics.

Porsche having to agree to this job he doesn’t want where he can get killed despite originally rejecting because of the need for money is reminding me of Squid Game

Good starting episode, interesting to watch it while I knew literally everything that was gonna happen lol. Porsche is beautiful. Fun dynamic where Kinn and Porsche seem to get on the other’s nerves.

Episode 2 (June 27)

I considered watching only 1 episode a day so that I don’t have to wait for episode 14 to release but umm that won’t be happening rip

They just have Perth speaking English for fun lol

?? Is that Pete and is he just not wearing any pants? lmfao

Porsche being like “Kinn’s younger child? I thought he was the big bro, acting all mature. Ai’Sutt” is so cute somehow. funny guy

Porsche is such a prankster but my guy having to face the prank himself because he’s so obvious is so akdljf was it toothpaste that he put in the drink? 

Who are the guys with Kinn? His friends? and also they’re dating

The fact that “Or are you scared?” works with people is wild to me like uhh yeah

Anyway, iconic apple shooting scene and iconic Porsche waiting until he’s private to show his nervousness

Smoking in front of the no smoking sign lol

Poor Porsche, mans is a mess but I’ll let it pass since he’s having to be Kinn’s bodyguard despite not wanting to + having to let Kinn shoot at his head

Did Apo actually hafta pee or is it just like a bottle squirting thing

lmfao Tankhun has arrived - it’s the way I’ve watched both TharnType and Second Chance that Tong is in

I can see the carps aren’t dead

Porsche mermaid

the tie choosing scene :0 I get it though Porsche is freaking beautiful

a goat sound effect after Porsche fell?

lmfao Kinn giving an interview about bread 

I’m dreading Porsche getting drunk and embarrassing himself/Kinn

lol finally the “Ohh nice man” “She’s killing me!”

Oooh did Vegas send the (lesbian) murder attempt lady? Based on nothing but the English + the minor family being brought up soon

I think sometimes the show is too comedic and it takes away from it, like when Porsche falls asleep while Kinn’s lecturing him

my watching the first Vegas-Pete interaction with wide wide eyes because I’ve already seen clips of their shenanigans in ep 11/12 and liked them lol

bruh is this kid from the minor family? Porsche is just trouble maker 3000 fr omg the kid’s even bleeding from the head

oooh Macau, I remember some people shipping Macau/Chay instead of Kim/Chay but I didn’t know what that meant

Kinn slapping Porsche... slapping slapping slapping slapping slapping

this is not my twitter but my twitter certain knows what men being slapped does to me and how every time it happens it’s like an angry or fighting scene and hmuch i keep wanting it to be in a proper nsfw scene instead

omg slapping + choking + the humiliation of it all, this is what that fic was about. like just watching the scene is me going “oh?” but if I think of the dynamics and fics and nsfw implications, it’s like O.O oh. 

and all of that in order to save Porsche’s life. wild times

Ooh, Porsche being bad at making coffee the first time he gives it to Kinn was also in a fic I read. 

lol Tankhun.

Vegas’s dad wants him to keep an eye on Porsche. I guess this leads to the rape attempt? Also does this mean it was in fact not Vegas or his father who sent the lady to sus out Porsche before? 

A very comedic episode, wish it was a bit less comedic, I liked it more when it was about the conflict with the minor family. Liked getting to see more of how stuff works with this mafia. We saw no Chay at all, how’s little guy doing. 

Should I watch Episode 2.5 now or later? Maybe later when waiting for episode 14 to air, right?

Episode 3 (June 28)

lol Tankhun and his dramas but why did Kinn say “who showed by brother this?” asklfj Tankhun is mid-20s at least, he’s gotta know what porn is already

the party at the bar scene Tankhun you’re so fun

is this the Cherry I’ve seen mentioned sometimes in KP fics?

lmfao “the best bodyguards are out there with Papa” @ Porsche who is definitely not out there protecting anybody

A hair dye product placement?

lol Porsche improving his bodyguard skills enough that he can say “Hey nice one loser” to Perth’s character

Dang Porsche flashbacking to his uncle’s beat up face as Kinn’s bodyguards beat up this other guy who owes him money + sold his secret (which secret by the way aklsfj is it the same thing Pete was talking about in episode 2 after Porsche woke up from being choked? Something that changed Kinn from being kind?)

Kinn signaling Pete to take Porsche outside when he notices Porsche is uncomfortable

oof Porsche realizing he’s now of the people who has to teach the people who can’t pay back loans “a lesson” despite his family having to go through it on the other side previously

Aw, Pete growing up to learn that there are no heroes nor villains in this world. Like he’s certainly not doing the actions of a hero

Why would you leave somebody you beat tf out of alone

Yeah bro, I don’t get whether we’re supposed to believe Kinn is smart because he does some real dumb shit like you know there are guns and weapons in the room and you just leave the man you made an enemy out of in there? Perhaps it’s arrogance (the belief that he wouldn’t dare)

oof first time Porsche had to shoot to kill a guy + got shot himself

what about the doctor we saw in ep 2 who takes care of the injured lol

“This place belongs to me. So every thing in it belongs to me.” okay Kinn, I agree

it’s funny how every time they make prolonged eye contact my guy Porsche just looks and Kinn starts being like agh, fuck, time for me to leave

Wish I didn’t already know the insider is Tawan

lol we got Jeff Satur silhouette 

Pete’s so attractive in his bar outfit cuz his hair’s not in a bowl cut thing

What’s up with Kinn’s friend who has a bf touching the shoulder of one of Porsche’s friends and sharing a look?

Porsche having a great time partying the night after he got shot lol

I still don’t know how mafia sons can just party like this (esp the day after Kinn got assassinated almost) but like good for them i guess

This Porsche dragging Kinn to lay down/sit at the pier all drunk is sooo cute. I remember I saw a tiktok of it when it came out and it was so cute

omg “I did everything I hate today” ?! It can’t be the same day right?? Maybe the Cherry/Kinn -> Kinn sanitizing Porsche’s wound happened in the daylight and not at night. rip mans really collected a debt, got shot, killed a man, then went out to party while all sad about it

Oof Porsche is really, really going through it “I killed a father. His kid’s definitely gonna be in much trouble as I was.”

Oh, they kiss. I mean Porsche is drunk out of his mind and Kinn kisses him but like I know some drugged up sex is boutta come up next episode so this is a much smaller blip

How’s Chay doing, I wonder? Porsche is around town, going to his usual club, but no communication or anything with Chay.

Episode 4 (June 28)

lol my guy Porsche doesn’t even remember who he kissed. Kinn really went he ain’t gonna remember any of this, my time to shine.

Dang, Kinn’s thinking about the kiss. Wonder how he’ll react once Porsche doesn’t remember or like how the remembering vs forgetting will shape their interaction

oof Vegas has found Porsche. I know he’s gonna attempt to rape Porsche + that torture scene with Pete is also a few episodes down the line but he looks so normal and mundane now. 

lol Kinn jealous of the Vegas and Porsche interaction while Porsche doesn’t remember the kiss at all and doesn’t interpret the interaction as anything other than friendly. It really is like regular uni BLs but higher stakes

Naurrr Kinn be specific what the hell is “About last night, are you okay with it?” At least Porsche mentioned the herbal spirits, otherwise Kinn would’ve been walking around with some very different notions about their relationship

lmfao of course Porsche would get himself a chance to use the sauna and of course Kinn would come in

ooh a Pheonix tattoo, I think I remember fics mentioning something about Porsche and a pheonix

Bruh I thought they were gonna maybe talk about Chay and have someone check up on him or something but Porsche just said “He should be okay, probably playing around while I’m not around” and then asked about Kim like... 

not the “If you were a girl, would you like me?” Kinn you are a mafia boss, stand upppp

girl, there’s gonna be so many more episodes before the random VegasPete sexual torture + non-torture sex with feelings scenes but I’m watching all of their interactions like O.O

girl not the Vegas taking Pete’s spot so that he’s on Porsche’s left and so Kinn coming in to join and  take Arm or Pol’s chair so that he’s on Porsche’s right. Wild ass dynamics because it’s literally regular Thai BL but they’re mafia + Porsche is gonna get nonconed one way or another, praying for you my dude

Cheese product placement

I knew they were gonna have tension about putting food on Porsche’s plate

Big gave Porsche something to give to Kinn and I can feel it in my bones that it’s gonna be that scene where Porsche has to hide and watch Kinn have sex 

I’m dying this is so alkjdfs it’s like when I had to pause 5 times to watch some Secret Crush On You scenes

Porsche ain’t homophobic at least

Pete: “Everyone here knows. I thought you knew.” Porsche: “No I don’t. I don’t know a damn thing.” lol funny guy really had to take Cherry home previously after he and Kinn had fucked I presume and he still didn’t know/guess

Porsche remembering that he and Kinn kissed -> Porsche like a dumbass “Do you think people who aren’t a couple can kiss each other?” -> Pete: batting eyelashes. Bro I like Pete and Porsche so much

What’s Pete wearing, is it a lungi?

Finally some Chay again. I don’t know why I thought he was like a freshman in uni, seems like he’s actually a senior in high school?

Beautiful, beautiful Jeff Satur + his pretty voice

Did Chay steal that poor girl’s shirt with his answer lol - oh no, he didn’t, good

I’m so excited for Chay lol adorable Also I do love a celebrity/fan thing and I think the only other BL that gave me that was Close Friend 2, so we’ll see how this one handles it (I say despite already knowing the jist of how it’s handled up to episode 12)

“I wanna know, if he didn’t return me to you, would you ever think of taking me back?�� Wild, wild question from Porsche. Delicious dynamics with the wording being so... ownership-y. Also kills me that they use gu/meung with each other. rip Kinn’s answer “For me, all our people are the same.” like bro noo Porsche remembered the kiss

I guess this would’ve been a big reveal [That WIK is Kim, that Kim’s suspicious of Porsche being the mole, that Kim sees Chay’s Porsche’s brother] if I didn’t know it all because of the promos and spoilers

Dang Kim’s got a board of photos and connections. What’s he uncovering? Is it just possible mole stuff?

The guy who plays Vegas (Bible) isn’t my type but he’s charming somehow? The way he says “isn’t that right?” with a little laugh is uh nice. I don’t know what about him is so disarming in these scenes considering I’ve seen what he can do and know he’s boutta drug Porsche

Anyway, Kinn asked for Porsche back from Tankhun lol

I didn’t really get the convo about “tool” lol anyway everybody noticing how beautiful Porsche is and also looking through Kinn’s excuse that Tankhun gave him back to him lol

I don’t like that they have Vegas speaking in English in situations like this, feels to intimate that I understand him when we’re literally watching from the POV of drugged up and bound up Porsche.

oof Porsche really is incredibly out of it

lmfao mans really just groped Kinn no hesitation “that’s why he’s still asleep”

ew kissing after Porsche just vomited 

Ooh, they translated it to pier. I was slightly confused if it was a pier or a dock or what the difference even was

Were those naked butts? How many men’s butts must I see before this show ends?

ew moaning groaning noises lmfao

omg hand clutching though <3

it’s wild to me that they were just... naked during that? tbh I’d assume they were naked for the wide shots and then had underwear on for the closeups where they were showing torse and up and mimicing movements

Vegas butt also goddamn

Dang, Vegas isn’t disarming and nice-looking anymore, the evilness is now visible. Fun. Makes me wish I didn’t watch the ep 11/12 vegaspete scenes where Vegas is wild and sadistic because the contrast would’ve been more impactful for sure

Anyway, KinnPorsche’s drugged sex wasn’t as uncomfortable as I feared it would be because Porsche was so like playful and eager about it. I know how to enjoy a dubcon drugged sex scene. I did however grimace at the fact that man got sexually assaulted like 10 minutes ago and had no time to process that before jumping into this.

I really am ace, I realized watching the last 10 minutes. Objectively, I think the actors did well and I think Apo is so attractive and they played well off of each other but seeing their bare bodies/butts did nothing for me and hearing the groans was kinda gross to me sorry. It’s the hand clutching against the window that freaking got to me though. Also the fact that Kinn loves kissing Porsche when he doesn’t kiss the guy(s) he had sex with as mentioned in this episode

Read this comment and its followups on the r/boyslove ep 4 on-air thread then rewatch the last few minutes, see if I feel different.

Excited to see terrible evil Vegas now that he’s not :) fairly disarming and just slightly antagonistic. I’m surprised by how magnetic and charming I found the guy considering his looks weren’t doing much for me before but after seeing a few clips of Bible + this episode, I think his charm lies in seeing him in motion something about him is just attractive.

Also, surprise character/person that I'm way more into than I thought I'd be: Pete/Build. So attractive (of all the characters in the show, he's most my type) and we're getting to see tiny bits of his duality of cute and good vs cold and ruthless, can't wait to see more of it

Episode 5 (June 29)

Okay keeping that comment thread + acting points in mind, lemme rewatch the last scene of episode 4 -> I skipped after they started taking pants off (except the parts where they held hands) but I think I liked it better this time around. I'm curious to see the aftermath

Porsche saying "What happened to me?" actually made me freeze. That's so fucked

Bruh is the butt counter actually 5 already? I don't need to see glimpses of Porsche's real ass when I wanna cry for him right now

Kim acts so suspiciously lol just staying for 2 minutes, asking about Porsche for all of it, then skedaddling. I'm just glad I don't know what his deal is beyond wanting to know more about Porsche + using Chay to do so, I wanna find out as I watch rather than be spoiled

Bruh it's not Porsche's fault that he drank the water after specifically smiling at Kinn to check it's okay and Kinn smiled back, making Porsche think it's alright.

rip not Korn taking out a pawn so that he can go checkmate and saying "see the bigger picture. don't focus on one piece and cost us the whole board like what happened before" oof hurts for Porsche and also what happened before, they keep alluding to it I wonder if it has to do with Kinn becoming unkind + the minor family's head being like do you give everyone many chances? @ Korn + maybe the secret Korn said that guy was selling when collecting his debt

I like how Kinn is with his dad. Still learning, still being scolded

Tankhun and Kim are so cute. T: "Are you here to visit or to spy on something?" K: "And?" T: "And did you find anything?" K: ... T: "Once a nosy person, always a nosy person. Nosy x5"

Why don't they translate the curse words properly? They kept using fudge instead of fuck and stuff and now Perth in English says "are you fucking dumb, bro?" but they just don't transcribe the fucking part like we already saw them fucking bro what's the word gonna do

I'm about to beat Kinn, Big and Ken on Porsche's behalf. Big and Ken die later on right? Deserved.

No like my guy got drugged (despite thinking he had permission to drink the water), almost got raped, had sex with a guy for the first time who is also his boss and is a mafia leader and keeps saying he owns Porsche, then got punished by ordered of said guy while 2 of his goons humiliate him

Pete and Porsche for real my favourite duo, I'll miss this when Pete's held hostage by Vegas lol

fuckkk Kinn's boytoy is here just as Porsche is leaving (after Kinn having given him no more than a glance and dismissed him as if he doesn't gaf where Porsche goes or what he does) T.T

Once again, attractive ass Pete at the club

Not Kinn and Porsche in the process of hooking up with different people but flashing back to when they hooked up last night

Bruh Vegas is here again? Also, how have they not figured out that Vegas was the one who went in and out of that room Porsche was in? They should at least mention wiped cameras or something

Didn't they drink? Why's Pete driving em home?

Fuck, the way Vegas is just... posturing in front of Porsche, all chill and even using English, just all confidence that he won't be found out.

We're gonna get jealous Kinn because Porsche is gonna be hanging out with his assaulter without knowing. Why am I smiling while watching Porsche be so happy after a while and Vegas is back to being so disarming and charming and seemingly unassuming. What a terribly cute scene as they're both smiling on the motorcycle with the calming background music and Vegas hugging Porsche.

Bro fuck Vegas is so good at sweet talking Porsche. After the day Porsche had, Vegas is being sooo sweet to him like bruh I would've 100% fallen if I was into falling for men/people. It's so sickening fr

Fuck bro what an argument: Me dying over Porsche trusting Vegas and saying the minor family has done him no harm. Kinn's "Don't you forget. Your life is mine. I can do what I want." Porsche daring him to do it (what? kill him? kiss him I'm guessing? idk). Kinn leaning in so close as if they'll kiss only to say he's replacing Porsche as his head bodyguard with Ken

Naurr Kim and Chay are cute, too bad Kim's a dickhead

Bruh Kim's so bad at this. "Let's do a song on your brother." "how you know I have a brother?"

Chay's so cute T.T I'm sad Kim's doing this to him

Bro finally some Porsche and Chay scenes but it's literally 3 2-second scenes with music overlap, so it's not any meaningful interaction the random shower product placement took up more time bruh

Pete is seriously best boy best character, my guy is standing in a tanktop and boxers, chalk all over his body, holding a towel in front of his crotch as he makes a request to Kinn to have a patient and calm conversation with Porsche

loll tension filled dinner that's still funny because of the role reversal kind of. Still annoyed we got more of his random friends than Porsche and Chay though >:( what about my brothersssssss

lol truly dumbassery to just go off alone like that, Kinn's so smart

woooo that was cool. van chase and murders and next episode is the one in the woods I guess

This was definitely my favourite episode thus far. It's the first one where I felt some strong emotions, mostly anger on Porsche's behalf. Confusing ass times whenever Vegas appears, mans is too good at acting all nice and unassuming and kind. I liked the tension and angst and regret. It had less over-the-top comedy (like the dinner scene was comedic but it wasn't overpowering other scenes and there weren't too many of these comedic moments). Pete continues to be a favourite. Apo's acting as Porsche was really good.

Next episode is the one in the woods, which I'm looking forward to. They're literally handcuffed together, so they'll have to talk it out certainly.

Episode 6 (June 29)

okay after episode 5 actually making me invested in the show and characters, I hope I really like this episode too. Especially because it reminds me of History 3 Trapped's little forest frolic lol

lmfao this rock paper scissors. reminds me of NCT Dream

bruh they're so ridiculous but I'm still smiling wide

ahh their laughing faces and clutched hands as they sit in the water

Porsche using pom/khun and -krab when teasing Kinn is cute

Vegas fucking kills me first of all why does he have to say "The thing is, do you think they know that we know?" to Macau in English in his smooth, smooth voice and then startling Pete and giving him food like "I see you've been on a lookout for a while." Anyway, I've seen like 1-2 second clips of Pete startling when Vegas appears, I didn't expect it to be so soon

Bruh Vegas played the slightly evil character so well here lol the way he's so slick and gives off dark vibes. villainous but not as villainous as he actually is

Bro when will Porsche and Kinn get over the joking dynamics and actually talk about what happened before the kidnapping? ...will they talk about it? like the excitement is freaking cute but pls... soon

how'd they get their shirts off with the handcuffs on? Edit: Okay I saw proof posted on the r/boyslove on-air for this that you can take your shirt off through the hole in the handcuff

rip Porsche, they kiss and Kinn pulls away

lmao rip Porsche, Kinn joking and saying Porsche has a small dick

okay I guess they likely won't talk about it but I guess I'll take this bonding. Also, interesting that Kinn wanted to be a singer. I wonder how he feels about Kim pursuing it

Dang rip Porsche and his sad ass childhood

I guess the "I would erase everything I did you wrong." will have to do as a heartfelt apology. What matters now is whether he changes in the future, especially when it's not just the 2 of them around

The scenery is so freaking beautiful + all the birds chirping

Ooh, Kinn talking about how he feels free in the woods like this

Okay, we're getting more apologies, especially about that night end of ep 4

Porsche is just so guy, I wanna be him, just such a dude

"Then, from now on, we won't have any doubts between us anymore" says Kinn while they're both pretending to move on from that night while they're both falling for the other more and more

Kinnporsche slap count number 2 !! This time Porsche -> Kinn because Kinn knew how to unlock the stupid handcuffs all along

Kinn really just did nawt wanna leave the woods cuz mans had a fairly okay idea how to survive. just pretending

aw shit, I saw a clip of this on Tiktok where Kinn's telling Porsche to leave. That's actually some of the action beyond words I was wanting

Wait so true like Porsche really was just willing to sacrifice a hand for Kinn, mans lost that rock paper scissors thing on purpose. The tension wasn't super high for me cuz I was like duh that's not gonna happen but Porsche didn't know that... he was freaking willing to cut off his hand wtf

Fuckkk Kinn's "maybe I just like it when you're happy."

This desperate, last-kiss vibes is so arrow to the heart man and followed by such a tight hug T.T

Bruh I was not expecting this turn like I knew Porsche was gonna come back but I was thinking maybe early episode 7 not that he'd have to defend Kinn against shooters and that Kinn would fucking take a bullet for Porsche oh my gosh and Porsche knows his chance to leave is no longer there

Bruh how do I feel about this episode? Like nothing happened in the first half except cute moments and then just emotions and feelings and getting shot. I think I'm just not a "deviating from our natural habitat for a frolic in the woods/beaches" episode kinda guy. Like in Bad Buddy, I disliked episode 9 but after that, I thought episode 6 and 11 were just kinda boring/draggy. So I really liked the last third of this episode where Kinn's apologizing and they're discussing feelings and Porsche's willingness to lose a hand for Kinn and then them thinking they're forever separated and then Porsche saving Kinn and Kinn saving Porsche. That stuff was great but I think the first 2/3 could've been cut down in half because I liked their joy and them getting to know each other but I was also like okay let's get a move along.

Random Vegas and Pete scene but I enjoyed it because Pete was so cute (the screams lmfao) and Vegas seemed like he was purposefully giving off the slightly villainous vibes when talking to Pete lol it was fun. It's interesting because Vegas seemed so normal when he was talking to the guy before like "Do you think they know we know that they're there?" but once he's talking to Pete he's like >:). Call me charmed rip

Anyway, I wonder how Kinn and Porsche's relationship will now progress.

Also, I love how there were just so many instances of casual touch in this episode, especially from Porsche's end. He kept patting water onto Kinn's back and neck, falling over him, leaning on him, etc and just T.T casual physical intimacy without kissing/sex is soooo everything to me

Side Story (June 29)

ooh, a short little side story

bruh I hate the "playing that something terrible terrible happened to the patient" joke every time but at least they don't last too long

I remember hearing about how Kinn woke up when he heard [someone else] flirt with Porsche and that name didn't register in my brain then but loll it's Vegas

Dang mans really came in like well these yellow flowers mean friendship and care but alsoooooo they can mean love <3 (with no expectation of return) lol Vegas said no rest for me and no rest for you @ Kinn, who wakes up due to this

Aw, Kinn and Porsche just lying/sitting in bed side by side

A tiny Porsche and Chay convo, cute. It feels monumental and Kinn asked Porsche if he wants to call Chay when this wouldn't have happened before they got lost in the woods/discussed their feelings

Cuddlinggggg

okay a cute little side story as they said.

Do I want to watch episode 7 tonight or... hm. I'll do homework for a bit and then do it I guess

Episode 7 (June 29 30)

I had to debate with myself for like 15 minutes whether I want to watch this now or tomorrow and I still don't know the answer. It's a whole hour long and I think it ends on an angsty note (I dragged the cursor to see like 2 frames and it's the one where Kinn's like 'you're so loose' or something to Porsche and also they slap each other.) I'm so excited to see Kinn's little face slapping @ Porsche but also... nervous because seems like this one will end on an angsty note. I... will do my homework for 15 minutes and then come back to decide whether to watch it or to just read some fics and go to sleep instead

lol okay I didn't end up watching it last night, just read some fics (T this time lol I've been just reading E ones since before even watching the show) and did some homework and went to sleep. I think I'm apprehensive because I think people started losing interest/getting annoyed in these next few episodes and also people hated Kinn in like ep 9 or 10, so I'm dreading that too. I hope I still like them and hopefully, I'll get to have fun at the VegasPete torture scenes >:)

"A win for the minor family" well hello Vegas.

lmfao not Vegas giving us a little preview of his torture? He's so scary and gross. Did he pull out a nail or what?

bruh Vegas for real not letting Porsche go.

Damn, very interesting like major and minor families have competition, which makes them stronger. Vegas wanting Porsche as his assistant means that Kinn now wants them to succeed so that Porsche can come back.

Vegas is so good at being evil and part of that means he's so good at being good to people too. Scary

oof that old man's just told people that Vegas and friends went inside

I think the dichotomy of how ~ polished and professional ~ the major family is contrasts well with how casual the minor family seems. They've got these men in casual wear just guarding doors with big ass guns lol

We've only seen Vegas and Macau for like 1 or 2 seconds here and there but I do like it as a sibling dynamics lover. They seem close

Porsche seeing first hand how differently (kindly) the minor family treats their guards. Vegas really is a good sweet talker with the "They give their lives for me, this seems too little" like yeah true but do I believe you do it out of the goodness of your heart? Actually, perhaps because I know he cries over the hedgehog in episode 12 or something

seeing Porsche drink something from Vegas's house after he'd drugged him in ep 4 is T.T

kasdjflask;dfj dead at Chay hurriedly cleaning his place and trying to get Kim to not come, he's so cuteeeeee. Also how the hell does Kim know where Chay lives (okay I know how he knows but why does he keep letting Chay know that he knows it all)

ooh, a mention of Tawan

Other fathers love dad jokes, Korn loves metaphors about Kinn's love life using chess or knives. rip him warning against loving Porsche and also telling Kinn to become his old self again.

Damn Macau's so chill with Porsche now lol woah even apologizing. I wonder... if Vegas told him to do that?

oh lol Vegas tells him that he told Macau to apologize

Chay is sooo awkward and endearing >.<

lol poor Chay going out of his way to lock the door but Kim just picking it wondering what he's hiding and it just turns out to be Chay's bedroom filled with Kim/WIK's photos rip

Bruh this random university, tutoring, guitar/singing, somewhat celeb/fan storyline is so aklsdfj Kim keeps pushing Chay like "you ever been in love?" "Do you like anyone right now?" whole time knowing Chay likes him because he snooped in his room

naur Chay describing the person he likes and it's so obviously Kim bye

oof jealous Kinn

aslkdfj ummm Vegas twisting the story I'm assuming of Kinn shooting Tawan for seemingly no reason? But Vegas' nice demeanor with his bodyguards and Porsche vs Kinn's coldness and paranoia certainly makes it believable.

Vegas' smirk as he's walking away l m f a o

Beautiful, beautiful Tay

Bruh Vegas is so good at torture for real, kept mans in a cell with a dead body

lol a little taste of Pete kinda spying (not quite yet) and being caught by Vegas

Freaking like it when love is shown through giving your lucky gun to your partner so that he can accomplish his mission well and return the gun (and himself) to you

lmfaooo I remember the "other gun" being a thing and people dying over it before lolll alright Kinn

bruh Vegas really is hot agh. The way he coolly smirks and puts his hands up? agh

Of course the unimportant people not in the truck die but the ones in the truck don't even though the possibility of hitting them should be pretty even

I'm not really a VegasPorsche shipper because of the ep 4 thing but them shooting people side by side and Vegas on top Porsche as they shoot at different directions is certainly appealing, even if also a bit funny bc what

tbh I don't really get why they had to do all that? Did Don send people to destroy one of Kinn/major family's casinos with that grenade thing so they're paying it back by killing Don?

Vegas talks so much about Trust(tm) when he in fact is a snake and a betrayer. Gets to Porsche though. Vegas has found out what pushes his buttons and is exploiting it. I wonder how much it's affecting Porsche though? Likely not enough to leave Kinn for this promise but maybe enough to bring it up to Kinn again and see if that kinda thing will work with their system?

Naurrr Pete giving Kinn updates on Vegas and Porsche interactions T.T rip Porsche. Also hm does this mean Pete fully knows about what Kinn and Porsche have going on? Or is he just ~spying on Vegas~

I wonder what Porsche thinks of Vegas knowing that he wants to open a bar. To Porsche, Vegas has been nothing but kind but he's also seen how cruel Vegas can be and how he's admitted to finding out more about him. Hmm

"I thought you were a heavy drinker" yeah why does Porsche get drunk so easily (like in ep 2) and also... did Vegas do something to his drinks this time again?

rip Vegas taking Porsche to a bathroom and taking off the shirt he purposefully spilled alcohol on :( rip Porsche gonna have to bear the brunt of Kinn being upset

Kinn and Porsche pointing guns at each other is cool even though the reason is more romance related and less mafia betrayal related than I'd like

I hate how Porsche keeps being assaulted by Vegas and then has to deal with Kinn like my guy just went through something ! >:( Be nice or I'll kill you!

Porsche was so happy to see Kinn in the beginning

face slapping count number 3 Kinn lightly slapping Porsche's face as he angrily asks "What the hell were you doing?", my favourite one !! I saw a clip of this on tiktok after I guess this episode was released and rewatched it so many times my gosh. It's supposed to be sad and heartbreaking but uhhh I like it for other reasons mostly, sorry Porsche.

Damn the "You never trust me. Just shoot me already like you shot your ex." is so fucked up

slap count #4 Porsche slapping Kinn and going "I shouldn't have slapped a crappy guy like you" this one is sad, yeah. also porsche admitting to loving kinn omg

fuck the way Kinn traps Porsche against the mirror.... fuck fuck fuck it's really uh a lot for me personally. Porsche becoming tiny, the way he moves away from Kinn but doesn't actually because he could certainly escape but he just... becomes small. The turmoil. Kinn saying sorry and freaking seems like on the verge of tears.

Porsche finally turning around them looking into each other's eyes. The bad decision hooking up and handjob !!! O.O Also Kinn mostly clothed, Porsche mostly unclothed (no underwear?!). So true.

Ending with a tight hug.

That ending scene after Kinn finds Porsche and Vegas is sooo good, one of my favourites of the series so far for sure. The dynamics and angst and also I liked it more than the episode 4 sex scene. I think this my also be my favourite episode tied with ep 5 (the action, all the Vegas, the last scene).

Interesting episode since Kinn and Porsche were apart and we got some action. Liked seeing the major vs minor family's ways of doing things.

Vegas was very attractive in this once except for that very very last part because I need him to stop assaulting Porsche. Other than that, very evil and manipulate and cool and fun and nice to look at.

Episode 8 (July 1)

lol I saw a post saying no vegas in this episode and I was like awwww :( why not? so that's where I stand in regards to him sigh

Anyway, it's interesting how the episodes kinda wrap themselves up so often that I'm not dying to watch the next episode. I have yet to watch more than 2 episodes in a day and I don't even really have to stop myself from continuing, it's quite easy to just leave it. I do listen to podcasts about the episodes I've watched and I go through tags so it's not that I don't care about the show at all but it's not like Not Me where I was desperate to watch the next episode and was on the edge of my seat and it's also not like Bad Buddy where I watched 1 episode a night (purposefully) and thought about it all day and was watching reaction videos etc

Rewatched the last scene of ep 7 from Kinn coming into the bathroom until Porsche's pants start coming off and yeah, what a good scene

lol so i guess Pete doesn't know that Kinn and Porsche are together

porsche crawling on the floor... haha. haha. anyway, this is the bread scene people were talking about

also the foot on dick scene

how much of this episode is just fucking bro? I guess it's just to show that they can't keep their hands off of each other

not Ken listening in?! Big too lol at least they left soon

What's the bar owner's name actually because in the subs it's Yok but from what I hear, people refer to her as something like Jay?

oh dang, Porsche can tell Yok and friends that he and Kinn are dating?

I guess this episode is really gonna be focusing on Kinn and Porsche's romantic relationship

Aww Porsche insecure being in his first proper relationship + it's also with a guy. him letting go of Kinn's hand :< but Kinn holding his hand again anyway

lol fuck this is my friends and I, halfway through eating realizing we forgot to take aesthetic pics

The aegyofication of mafia boss Kinn who has no worries of getting kidnapped or shot at

The thing is... they're cute but I don't feel giddy or excited watching lol. I just don't think I'm that invested in Kinn and Porsche's cutesy love life.

lol no way Porsche is the son of Kim's dad's mistress. We are not getting half-brothers please. I think in the book they uhh may be cousins ? or smth ? el oh el. Also, why's Kim telling Big so much considering he's so aloof other times

Bro Porsche sniff kissing Kinn's shoulder is soo cute actually. I think I'm gonna like this part of their date more since it's not so silly over the top but rather just them being calmly cute and also getting to know more of their emotions

Aren't there cameras everywhere at the compound thing? That's how they saw Porsche peeing in the pool? Bruh, I gotta stop thinking about these things because it makes it less fun

pool kiss

Porsche keeps saying "So promiscuous. So slutty." @ Kinn's boytoys Hmmm

this episode is so lowstakes that going through Kinn's phone is the most dangerous thing they've done so far lol

lmfao Porsche making merit because he thinks Tawan's ghost is following him

girl where the hell did Chay go to find Kim? Is this in front of Kim's apartment? That's very weird. Just showing up when Kim's been ignoring him um. But maybe deserved because that's what Kim did to Chay?

I went outside for the day, so I'm watching the last 10 minutes at 1am and T.T why are they watching a horror movie

porsche being scared of ghosties is so cute. like in ep 6 when they see the skeleton, then in the side story when kinn says the hospital is haunted to get porsche to stay with him and now this

lmfao Porsche being so scared he tries to entice Kinn with sex so that he's not alone tonight

Girl I really thought Tawan would be found out before the very last second of the episode?

This is such a useless episode if I think of it as a mafia show but less useless if I think of it as a romance I guess. It showed us the physical aspects of KinnPorsche's relationship + the romantic and sweet aspects. I wish it cut down the time so that everything in this episode happened in 40 minutes and the other 10 minutes was either like some Tawan stuff so that it's not just last second or Vegas being just fucked up or hot.

Regardless, I thought it was a pretty meh and boring episode (I wish I liked the Kinn/Porsche couple more, I would've enjoyed it more then), especially since it followed up episode 7 which had quite a bit of ~ things happening ~.

Episode 9 (July 2)

episode 13 came out and this time I'm forcing myself to not go on tiktok or click on the kinnporsche blocked posts on tumblr. I know too much from episodes 11-12 (esp about vegaspete), so I need to keep up the unknowingness for ep 13 at least. I'll probably get there in 3-4 days anyway.

Also, I think people were really upset at Kinn in ep 9 or 10, so we'll see how it goes. I think he let Porsche be captured or take the brunt for something (he lets Porsche be punished as the mole or something), so I guess we'll see some action and betrayal and fun things with higher stakes than ep 8.

The thumbnail in kissasian for this ep is Pete with Vegas and Macau 0.0

Poison in the water bottles given to Tawan?

Tankhun being like kill him! in his fancy outfit and holding the wine glass

Porsche says kinn when referring to him during talking w tawan doesn't he hafta use khun? Is it not needed if you're referring to someone else? Also, I wonder if Tankhun picked up on Kinn/Porsche

How is Arm the only one who can kinda see Kinn/Porsche have a thing going on?

Kinn has tasked Pete with keeping an eye on Vegas :)

naurr Kinn and Tawan too casual and Tawan talking about the past right in front of Porsche. Why is Kinn so comfortable with him now, fucker's smiling?! Letting Tawan grab his hand?! Do I think Kinn is smart enough to let Tawan think he's vibing with him when in fact it's all fake smiles?

Is one humourous moment (Kinn not realizing Porsche wants him to leave the room and not stick with Tawan) worth making Kinn appear stupid, like he doesn't understand what Porsche is saying?

Tankhun straight-up telling Kinn and he's not clever and that he's boutta be hurt again because of Tawan

this random dancing in underwear

lol Yok's advice. The "I'm strong but I can pretend to be weak~"

this seduction plan is so embarrassing, I can't watch this. It's like I'm freaking watching Secret Crush On You

aak, Pete came in

right, so Tawan definitely suspects something between KinnPorsche right?

I wish we'd gotten to see Pete be cold, calculated, and competent except that one time he had to beat up the lender and say how he didn't believe in heroes and villains to Porsche afterward. Like being told by Kinn to not let anybody know they're following only to be immediately caught by Macau is so. Esp cuz he was a drunk fool in the previous scene and also he hadn't figured out Kinn and Porsche are together

lmfao Macau talking to Pete and Vegas just standing and staring straight at him? so awkward

I remember reading an r/boyslove post talking about this temple scene, I'll read it again after the episode.

Oh they're making merit together "so that see each other again in the next life"... Vegas hand on Pete's back... okay. Vegas is so good at making something so uneasy despite using kind/nice words and gestures

Vegas soooo good at being pathetic puppy T.T "I'm sorry Porsche for that night" + "ppl in this family look at me weirdly :(" + "Pete was sent to follow me" :((( Is there a weird rumour going around about me? I guess I'm used to it since they've always been like this

Holy shit Vegas is sooo good at this. "Porsche, if one day Kinn orders you to kill me, can you not make me suffer?" Bruh, tugging at heartstrings and everything.

whelp, Kinn saw, as expected. Mole suspect

Bruh you don't even know what's in the USB yet

Tawan's "I told you Porsche couldn't be trusted" O.O I swear the only smart people in this show are Tawan and Vegas. They're so good at being lil bitches. Tawan also knew about the listening devices and didn't reveal it until now when it's most impactful, he's good at this

Ah here is why everybody was upset with Kinn. "Lock him up"

Porsche calling him Ai'Kinn

Chay is sooo freaking awkward and it's so endearing. My guy does nawt know what to do with his hands

I don't think their mutual feelings have really any weight (like... I don't see much romantic chemistry between them at all) but like sure. cute enough. I thought they'd be cuter based on like random tiktok edits I saw tbh

Bruh Tawan coming here to rub it in Porsche's face is so good! He's so irritating fr

Also I wanna know what's actually in the USB that Tawan gave. What evidence is in there and how will they deal with that

Girl, not Vegas coming in hot with the "run away with me, Porsche" askldfj

Okay, I liked this episode. Firstly, so many more things happened than episode 8, which is good because last ep was fairly boring. We get Tawan and also see he's a cunning dickhead. Some Vegas shenanigans with both Porsche and Pete. I like all the searching for betrayals and suspecting people vibes. KimChay were okay.

Gonna read some anger and vitrol @ Kinn from when the episode was first released lol + that post about vegas/pete temple scene

I wouldn't say this is my new favourite ep but like definitely tier 2.

Also I'm gonna need to start a vegaspete tag because I'm gonna reblog each of their scenes in gif form :)

Episode 10 (July 2)

Okay I'm excited for this one, to see how they come out of this mess + maybe some VegasPete. So I'll watch it tonight instead of tomorrow morning.

yakuzaoh yeah I forgot there's some Porsche and Vegas first. Vegas give it upppp my dude

girl no, who's stopping themmmm agh I changed my mind I don't wanna watch this anymore.

wowww Pete cool

guns pointed at each other -> Kinn: Porsche -> Porsche lowers gun: You have to trust me -> Kinn lowers gun and lets Porsche go

girl, love?! Didn't you confess to Kim like a day ago, Chay? only to be faced with triple homocide where Kim doesn't say it back + Kim's boutta ditch him w a sticky note + he doesn't even get to read the sticky note because he's boutta be kidnapped

Chay did well in running away for a bit though + at least Kim showed up

The way Pete is freaking ready to lay his damn life down for Porsche. Love the duo

Dang, this Porsche and Vegas pact

You did it Pete, got into the house! Love to see some competency that's not broken by jokes

lol Tawan's USB is a virus that shuts down their CCTVs (all their gadgets are so funny, like alright sure this is possible) and mans has escaped. cool, good for him for tricking all these ppl lol

no way, Vegas and Tawan actually ?! T.T I was like oh, Vegas what are you planning? Then seeing Vegas' plan is like well, you met all our expectations I guess - you did what everybody thought you were doing.

rip Porsche for real my mans is so trusting and forgiving and people keep abusing that T.T I need Kinn to have a bigger plan where he didn't actually believe Porsche betrayed him while treating Tawan well because otherwise I'll kill Kinn fr

Just kidding, okay Vegas punched Tawan, congrats for escaping expectations kind of because he's still apparently in kahoots with Ken to get information about the major family but I can't blame him for that one.

Also, I have absolutely 0 reaction to Ken being the mole, it's not like we cared about him at all lol

Vegas says "But this wasn't the fucking plan plan" and IQIYI subs it as "fricking" that's so aghhhh

Okay pretend I didn't scratch out all that stuff I wrote about Vegas and Tawan lol.

Vegas's "you just realized?" with a tilted head and smile when Porsche says you're such a jerk

lol Vegas' evil plan being detailed in front of Porsche for several minutes

Vegas killing Tawan for sport, so true. He was cool, although dumb as hell for believing Vegas would want to romantically involve himself with him but I guess Porsche trusted Vegas for a similar reason too (that Vegas loves him)

Bruh, how the hell does Tawan just have a bulletproof vest lol. And yeah so true, why didn't they give Porsche one?

girl, Tawan was doing so well so far, they're making him seem so pathetic now, calling out for Vegas.

Damn, they showed us some Tawan Vegas in the past, that's a good call. Makes you understand a bit more about why tf this is happening. Also my 2nd favourite villain was being manipulated by my favorite evil guy this whole time <3

Vegas is seriously soooooo master manipulator. He was getting to Porsche by confessing his love, saying he was sorry for what he did at the bathroom, and being pitiful about being seen as lesser than the main family. He was getting to Tawan by confessing his love, giving him a ring, and saying he'll become the strong leader with Tawan's help. Two very different methods and reasonings but he knows what to use to get what he wants from different people + also what he says both times is laced with truth, except the parts about him loving them. Vegas seriously my favourite evil little man.

nooo brotherly conflict T.T

okay so apparently Kinn knew that Porsche wasn't guilty and Tawan was in contact with Vegas and was going down to the cell to tell Porsche that. Firstly, that was still after he threw him in the cell, so there was still definitely a lot of mistrust there - enough for locking him up. Secondly, why didn't Pete just tell Porsche that Vegas and Tawan are working together, huh? Could've done that instead of fighting. Thirdly, why didn't Kinn tell him instead of letting him escape with Vegas?

Okay, let me talk about some things before we move on. I don't care about Big dying because just like Ken, they didn't develop him well enough. However, the characters should definitely care more but I've heard people say that they don't give a fuck, so I'm assuming he'll never be mentioned again rip. Next, damn, Tawan really offed himself - nice going dude with the "If I don't get to be happy, neither will anybody else." Thirdly, where did Chay just go? Are they gonna keep him around in the main family's house now since it's clear people will use him to get to them? Lastly, I was wondering why nobody was concerned about Pete's whereabouts because Kinn and Arm were in contact with him but both were at the warehouse location, so aren't they wondering what's going on with him? Then they showed us Kinn having a confused expression before cutting to Pete all bound up and I remembered that people kept saying "Kinn forgot Pete" and I couldn't figure out what they meant by that like did he get amnesia the fuck? but no, this is worse actually lol my guy went to the house ready to give up his life for Porsche + also previously gave info about Tawan and yet...

Anyway, let's go Vegas actual evil villain now because we know he's not doing some petty little "I'll steal Kinn's boyfriend bodyguard" games anymore, my guy was giving info to the Italians and the yakuza lol + was so deeply manipulating Tawan as to propose marriage to get him to infiltrate. let's see him actually torture Pete now I guess

Oh yeah, it's actually more interesting because Pete has previously seen Vegas torture a man in ep 7

holy shit we got: red lighting, manic Vegas and Pete them bitches were smiling too hard, the sweat all over Pete's body? my guy was going through it, actual torture - which also turned out to be real and actual CBT cock and ball torture. Isn't wild to think about how last episode, they were doing merit together in broad daylight and now Pete was laughing and screaming while get his balls electrocuted in Vegas' dungeon/torture chamber.

ooh, so Vegas is working outside of his father's orders

Ken's name was Kenny? I thought it worked the other way around that Ken's endearing nickname becomes Kenny. Anyway, did Porsche tell Kinn that Vegas had fake evidence? Idk if this evidence here is fake that Vegas' father is giving but it just seems useful info

Intense brother relationship but this time's it's Korn and Vegas' dad. Tense ass scene bro

Why would Porsche apologize to Kinn right now? Bruh idk idc Porsche did little to no wrong (except for being a dumbass who trusted Vegas but like Kinn was being a dumbass who trusted Tawan for a period of time and threw Porsche in a cell. So it makes sense the manipulator managed to make him trust him instead of the guy who lets his ex into the house to fully exploit all the knowledge).

Kinn let Tawan fool him so what's the use of saying Porsche let Vegas fool him

Does a kiss and a hug fix everything?

Okay idk why I'm so annoyed, it's not like I hate Kinn/Porsche but like I feel like their resolution right now was so unearned

Girl more bed scenes? "Are we good now?" Like no the sex doesn't make anything okay, give me some actual relationship development. Give me some angst and fallout after Kinn's distrust in Porsche and having to find their way back to each other and earn trust again.

Bro Chay's threatening to cut Porsche off if he doesn't quit? T.T Followed by fucking Kinn forgetting Pete

I am for real just skipping all scenes of them kissing and cuddling.

Okay I liked almost the entirety of the episode and I think it had to do with how little Kinn and Porsche there was actually lmfao because by the end when they were all gooey (which felt unearned) I was skipping lol I think my other episodes I really liked (5 and 7) had not that much Kinn/Porsche as well hmmm 9 had a decent amount though.

Anyway, episode 10 is probably one of my favourites too. The writing is pretty weak and I for real don't understand why any of this needed to happen (Kinn trusting Tawan, Kinn throwing Porsche in a cell, Kinn or Pete not just telling Porsche that they have evidence that Tawan and Vegas are in cahoots - also if they have evidence, why did they still act so casually with Tawan when they were tryna get info from the USB, I thought the Kinn/Porsche reconciliation didn't have the gravitas necessary, and Pete being just forgotten despite doing everything he did is sooo nonsensical) but this still leads to fun events I guess (the warehouse stuff, Vegas torturing Pete), so I'll just... overlook it.

Finally Vegas/Pete starting! I wonder how I would've reacted if I hadn't freaking seen the whole thing in clips before. It's cuz user @/rythyme mentioned canon CBT and I was like :0 so I looked at some gifsets and also didn't look away when the clips came up on tiktok lol. My greatest wish for the show is that they don't ruin VegasPete with some terrible ass writing, please! Use your brains in order to make a good story and have an interesting relationship development that makes sense!

Vegas continues to be my favourite because he's so smart at being evil. Also excited to see this side of Pete: the one who smiles and laughs in the midst of his tortured screams! I've seen some people say that it's his masochistic tendencies but I don't think he's having fun getting his genitals zapped, I think it's just him not showing weakness and trying to goad Vegas lol.

Episode 11 (July 3/4)

Nearly passed away from having to wait 24+ hours to watch this episode because of ~real life and responsibilities~ agh. can't wait to see how this unfolds

Vegas sexually assaulting Pete + laughing at his tattoo + getting slapped and lectured by his dad for disobeying orders + being told to go into hiding all within 5 minutes

Vegas unstable as hell + Pete unhinged and telling him to kill him but Vegas insisting no because Pete's fun

bruh I was like agh not random Kinn/Porsche, what if I skip only to find out Vegas freaking sent Kinn texts as Pete. Anyway, not only did Kinn forget about Pete (and wouldn't have remembered unless Vegas texted him), Porsche and Kinn are just like yep, okay, this makes sense, no need to call him. Does Porsche even know that Pete was at the minor family's lair?

fuckkk Vegas is too good at being evil T.T he realized the physical torturing is fun but doesn't quite break Pete, so instead he resorts to grandma

Okay, Kinn calls grandma but Vegas already told her to say he's home bruhhhh Kinn ask to speak to Pete duh, you cannot be this dumb

Porsche: "C'mon, don't think too much" bro no, think a little more please

Tankhun dying and squirming at the cuteness of Kinn admitting that he wants to grant Porsche permission to resign because he loves him vs Korn's reaction lol

lol the bodyguards all cutely listening in on the family + Porsche conversation. Interesting that they'll let Porsche and Chay stay in the home (does Chay not protest? also, this doesn't mean they're giving up their other home, does it?)

bro Pete's disobedience and defiance + Vegas torture is actually a Lot woah. I've only seen clips of like ep 10 torture scene + the others I'd seen are mostly when Vegas is taking care of Pete, so I wasn't expecting just how much cruelty there is

lol there was a post from after ep 10 but before ep 11 release that they hope Vegas loves his hedgehog so much and is so cute to it and lol it's true. him talking all cutely to his hedgehog before and after being cruel to Pete

lol Kim's murder board is back

Aww Porsche and Chay! Finally a decent interaction between them since literally 1st episode

Oh shit bruh, Vegas really is doing a number on Pete.

Pete so cool, being so defiant and also managing to escape the handcuffs + room even if he didn't manage to actually escape.

Anyway, they're really pushing the boundaries of "how much torture can we put in this pairing before you get off the VegasPete train and just want Vegas to actually just die"

Porsche blowdrying Kinn's hair is cute. Them + TimTay + Yok are cute too. Tay is so beautiful

We've really just been getting Vegas' dad coming in randomly for 30 seconds at a time and just abusing Vegas briefly before leaving lol they're progressing with the Vegas "sad body, daddy issues" arc

"You and Macau aren't even worthy of being my sons" aklsfj how did his stray bullet hit Macau, mans isn't even here

Sad af Vegas because of father + Pete not responding, okay I see the aspects that I was aware are gonna be starting now

lol Tankhun and Chay hanging out is a sight.

oh Chay's boutta learn bout Kimmmm

not the romantic piano music as Vegas bandages Pete's wounds that he inflicted upon him lol so fucked

not this mouth to mouth pill giving, fuck that actually got to me lol

"Why don't you just let me die?" "That's too easy. You must suffer until I'm satisfied." this is so fucked

a freaking heart-to-heart between evil captor who tortures and the tortured victim about their sucky dads. once again, got to me though

Aw Chay :( I've seen this Kim/Chay clip on tiktok before

Girl ngl it's so hard to care about Kinn and Porsche just having fun when VegasPete and KimChay are Going Through Shit (different degrees but still).

the smile I smiled at Vegas making Pete a steaming bowl of noodles because he wasn't eating + said the food didn't look fresh is embarrassing actually

Vegas eating food that Pete spit out to show it's not poisoned lol "If you hate me, you'll have energy to kill me later"

Vegas smirking at how Pete is eating all satisfied

okayyyy Korn ordered everything about the case of Porsche's parents death to be erased

Okayyyy intense episode. As I said, I knew there was VegasPete torture but I didn't realize there was much outside the CBT in ep 10 because people weren't clipping it (and I get why lol). So I thought ep 11 wouldn't have much torture but would have like the pill sharing, noodles eating etc but there was certainly cruelty. The progression from such cruelty -> Vegas becoming soft (the bandaging, the mouth-to-mouth pill giving, the noodles, the heartfelt conversation) felt a little quick but I'm willing to go with it lol Bible's such a good actor because I also transformed quickly from >:(( -> :) during his transformation and the changes in Vegas/Pete's interactions.

Also, I... don't know whether Vegas is "redeemable" and I don't even know what it means in this case. I don't really need him to be redeemable, I just need him to a compelling character and for Vegas/Pete to convince me that they need/deserve each other in order for me to be fully on board the ship lol

I knew people were like how did they forget Big so easily but like lol they really did. No mention of Big sacrificing himself or Ken being the mole, just Kinn/Porsche being cutesy; comparatively, the half-assed attempt at checking in on Pete was like the greatest show of care lol The Kinn/Porsche scenes are cute but I wish it had at least one scene of them actually working rather than just comedy + romance. Interesting contrast between their scenes vs Vegas/Pete though, it gave me whiplash

Chay cries in a way that makes you feel for him. Like his "love" is a bit silly because it's just kinda infatuation and a crush but his crying was :( From knowing these types of storylines, I'm guess Kim's being cold and an asshole because he wants to protect Chay by pushing him away but Kim's doing well playing this cold character, I'd believe he felt nothing for Chay. Curious to see where Kim's investigation leads.

Another good episode. I'm glad I've liked every episode after 8. Hope that'll continue for the last 3 episodes.

Episode 11 Rewatch (June 4)

Okay I rewatched episode 11 VegasPete parts lol

It's good just like the first watch, I enjoyed seeing how their relationship changed (how cruel and torturous Vegas was -> opening up to each other and taking care of each other - even though Vegas was only taking care of the harm he caused) and it was fast but if I think of it as happening over a longer period of time than it was, it's better lol

I think it's also an interesting dynamic because Vegas' torture and cruelty is faced with Pete's refusal to be broken. He's still defiant and doesn't cower away from Vegas and even asks how he's doing. When he does cower (like the end of the belt scene), Vegas stops because it's no fun anymore - he wants Pete to be defiant; when Pete was unconscious, Vegas was like "laugh at me!" So it all makes it more interesting to see, even if some parts are kinda hard to watch.

Episode 12 (June 4)

Time for some: hedgehog death, rimming?, Chay dyeing his hair and going out to a club because of his broken heart.

I'm glad it's like 58 mins long (with the start/end songs + previews) because I would've become the joker if it was 49 like some of the other ones are. Also, I checked and ep 13 is 1h :)

Sucks that Porsche is so excited for Chay's uni exam while Chay's going through it, unbeknownst to Porsche. Poor Chay, having to bottle it all up.

Bro Chay threw this resume in the trash and left?! Don't throw away your education or dreams because of Kim my guy!

Ahh Porsche saying Ai'Kinn in conversation with Pol and Pol repeating it back and correcting himself oi! Khun Kinn! ahhh sooo good to me. getting to defy normal honorific expectations because you are the boss' boyfriend

rolling my eyes at Porsche apparently having mic-ed Kinn's outfit? And being so jealous like "Oh, are you cheating on me?" before he even finds out anything. They really just make characters worse for comedy which is much worse than making characters evil for fun

lol Porsche able to recognize a guy he met once while his uncle was being beat up by the sound of his voice

lol dang, so Kinn did have a hand in those guys beating up Porsche's uncle leading to Porsche taking the job. Didn't think it'd actually circle around

Bro I've watched this freaking VegasPete scene on tiktok but I'm still smiling. Pete having attitude while speaking to Vegas while Vegas smiles as if he's in on the fun rather than full of cruelty + they've been using gu/meung since capture I think but hearing Pete say Vegas instead of Khun Vegas is 0.0 once again, lowering of honorifics and titles

lol they really fed it to us that the hedgehog is supposed to represent Vegas being prickly on the outside and sensitive on the inside

Kinn/Porsche confrontation and it was a fine scene. I wanna know how this will affect their relationship and trust in the near future though

How much do I trust Korn to be telling the truth? He did make himself look bad by saying he covered up the car crash for his friend and also thinks he went too far trying to help Porsche by basically forcing him to work here. However, he doesn't seem like he'd give away his hand so easily. Aside: even if it's true lol what kinda help is "become a mafia bodyguard where you'll give up your life for my family"

Anyway, we're getting the hedgehog death story now and once again I'm wishing I hadn't watched so much of this on tiktok clips but also the reason I started watching the show this early was because of the tiktok clips so oh well

You kept the hedgehog under terrible conditions dude, no wonder it's sick.

Damn, so it's literally just Vegas and Pete at this safe house?

rip Pete literally unable to run away despite trying lol His heart must be twice as big as the CN tower (did some brief research after saying this, apparently it's the 3rd tallest tower in the world, cool)

Cool shot of Vegas crying sitting on the grass and we can see Pete debate himself in the back. Wish he'd grabbed a knife from the kitchen before coming to Vegas though because Pete's still weak and hurting (or would that have been bad because Vegas would've found a way to use it on him instead)

me and victim both being like :'((((( as the evil man cries over his pet hedgehog

Pete fucking trailing after Vegas and them sitting in the damn dungeon room together again

I think it's reasonable that the hedgehog died since it's probably been like 2 decades lol. Pet hedgehogs don't live forever you know. Probably not your fault

I keep being like I'll watching without coming here to type but like fuck Vegas cries so heart-wrenchingly despite not like sobbing or wailing or anything. "Everything I love has left me. My life is pathetic, isn't it?"

Bro I saw a mention of Vegas hitting himself in this scene but it still fucking startled me, it made such a loud noise when he slapped himself

was the sex scene kinda jarring and came out of nowhere? yes but sometimes it do be like that. do I fully understand their motivations? not quite. did i freaking love it though? yes lol. the music made me freaking uneasy though. i actually have nothing else to say because I was just clutching my head and hair the whole time. Died at Pete giving Vegas the rope to tie his wrists + Vegas kissing his knuckles after doing so. Dead dead dead. Also, Pete's ankles were tied in place with the freaking chains from the ceiling, that's so alksdjfaklsdjfaks;lfak;lfdfj i feel so alksdfklasjflksjf i could chew on glass. Like... the scene wasn't super romantic or lovey dovey, it made me slightly uncomfortable because of the music and how quickly the characters jumped into it, but it had interesting dynamics and more glimpses of the characters and I enjoyed it. I also didn't have any expectations, so I wasn't disappointed

oh lol Porsche and Kinn's angst is done already, it really just lasted one scene. Bro Chay was there for like half a minute before Porsche and Chay's scene ends too and we're left with Kinn/Porsche again

sigh fr. Kinn wants to live at Porsche's house? Isn't he head mafia mans? How the hell is he gonna do his job? Not that he does it much anyway and not that he even needs his bodyguards because when was the last time they were even attacked? Ep 5?

Okay we're getting more Kinn/Porsche and friends I guess. I'll forgive it cuz it seems cute and I like Tay. Anyway, killing Time because he cheats on Tay in the book or something and here Tay seems sad being like "Not really. It's not like that." when Porsche says Time seems t love Tay.

Small mercies: The OK Cupid product placement being now and not during VegasPete's ep 11 noodle scene

wtf does "We're both out of the business" mean???? Kinn is out of the business?? What?! That can't be right, we'd have more of a discussion and uproar if he was, right?! Not a fucking throw-away line?

Well, I think it makes sense that Kinn's dad is here because wtf are they living in some fantasy land

Girl, am I supposed to just trust Korn that this man killed Porsche's parents? I know in the end Porsche doesn't kill him, which is good because what if it's wrong? Where's Kim in all this - did his investigation turn up anything?

Oof, seeing the grandchild really made Porsche stop (as it should)

Kinn/Porsche are often given such shallow material that I can forget how freaking good they are at acting. Apo really made me feel here without even saying a single word. Also, Kinn really was just gonna let Porsche kill an old man lol

Is Kinn asking Porsche to be his bodyguard again? Girl, they keep going around and around in circles, I don't know what's happening

Okay yeah I guess we really just aren't getting any more VegasPete this episode. Sad.

lol ayy Chay with the broken heart leading to hairstyle change and bad decision underage drinking at the club

Chay has always been bold but this time it's with anger at Kim rather than infatuation and a crush. Kim's weird though like he comes outta nowhere, drags Chay away, then leaves at the first sign of Chay being like get out of my business

I'm equally curious about and disgusted by eating bugs/insects

I see the uncle came back

I know it's KinnPorsche, not freaking VegasPete the series but I can't believe I didn't get to see anything from them for the second half. I know nothing about how they go in episode 13 so I'm excited for that, can't believe I knew their whole storyline thus far from ep 10-12 because of tiktok.

I think they could've started all the storyline about Porsche's parents earlier instead of wasting time with "comedy" and given more time to either establishing the mystery well or giving more time to the other couples (by which I mostly mean VegasPete but Chay's cute too).

I seriously don't understand what Kinn's position is right now. Why's he just fucking around, isn't he the main family heir?

To be honest, the plot is flimsy, the writing is not good and VegasPete are kinda rushed, I don't wanna go through everything wrong with the episode because I don't really care beyond VegasPete were cute/intriguing and I liked Chay and like 1 KinnPorsche interaction was cute. Everything else I had some sort of problem with lol

Interesting how I've seen everybody say the sex was fully consensual, fully wanted and... I guess? Pete did initiate the kiss + go forward with it and he wasn't shackled at the time but also... must we use the word consensual for it? It's not full cut-and-dry noncon maybe but there's something definitely fucked up and wrong about it and it doesn't feel consensual. Consensual isn't so surface level.

Episode 13 (June 4)

Last released episode, let's go! Also finally back to unknown territory because I managed to not spoil myself (except that Tankhun knows Pete is missing + maybe holds a funeral thinking he's dead?, Vegas' father strikes him again, the single line "I get it. Porsche had no choice but to team up with Vegas" or something to that extent which... ??, also pool scene).

Okay this makes it seem like I know everything but lol I don't think I do? Or at least I haven't actually seen any clips for these except a gifset of Tankhun crying/holding a funeral because he thinks Pete's dead. I knew and had watched way more for eps 1, 2, 11, 12

Pete's back in handcuffs? Or I guess he has just one handcuff on one wrist and maybe it was just for sexy times and not for uh captive times. also lol "Do you know how sexy you are?" in English. It's a great compliment to Bible's voice that that didn't make me cringe

I want to know what goes on in Pete's head during that scene because Vegas is joking and seems to like Pete (or is he master manipulatoring again? because of the story arc, I'd guess not) but Pete's isn't really smiling or encouraging - he seems kinda apprehensive

Clueless happy Kinn while Porsche is dealing with the knowledge that his family knew Korn

Aw, Vegas looking so well-adjusted and cute following a Youtube tutorial for cooking

Vegas' voice is always so whiny and petulant without fail every time he talks to his father

Oh yeah I forgot to mention this above but I read something about Vegas being hit by his dad and taking it out on Pete by choking him?

Holy shit, his dad's slap left a red red mark on Vegas' face

"You should have a little rest. Why don't you two go traveling?" lmfao hasn't Kinn been resting all this time, what work has he done since getting Porsche and Chay out of that place? I guess he's been attending meetings but he's literally just been spending his days with Porsche and sometimes at Porsche's house too

Dang, Pete really is just back to being contained in the dark room rip I wonder how he feels about not leaving when he had the chance back then. How did Vegas even manage to capture him again? Wouldnt that have changed their dynamic again after the sex? Would've liked to see it last episode

Aw fuck, Pete all teary-eyed and saying "I don't like it" while clutching his chest and then slapping himself saying "Then why didn't I say no"

fuuuuuck okay I think that was more fucked up than the previous torture because they literally had emotional bonding + sex, yet we're back to Vegas choking the shit out of Pete and Pete telling him to just kill him and Vegas actually pulling out a knife this time

Kinn who didn't mention Big's sacrifice + didn't gaf that Ken was the mole + didn't properly check to make sure Pete was safe after what was possibly a death sentence type mission vs Tankhun being shaken by a dream that Pete's died + calling his grandma to check + crying while calling Kinn and Porsche stupid and threatening them

fuck Pete's actually fucking broken and empty now fucking fuck

Also, the red + blue lighting on their face has been different than their previous lighting schemes thus far right?

Okay yeah interesting (perhaps excellent) choice to actually make them continue to be fucked up and not just be fixed and romantic after one emotional talk + one hedgehog mourning + one-time having sex

They're trying to make Tankhun trying to lead Pete's ghost home a funny thing but it's fucking heartwrenching after seeing Pete screaming for help in a white shirt stained with his blood

I needed Pete's return to be less comedic but I guess we're gonna get the trauma/heartfelt stuff in the bathtub now

Pete smiling and trying to seem nonchalant instead of telling who did this to him is actually breaking me

Is this Chay's room in their original house? So we're back to Square A of Chay living their by himself?

Why did Kim leave after Chay sang that song, what a dick

Vegas sitting and crying in his pajamas with all the food he's made in front of him with no Pete to share them with (a direct contrast to how happily he had made all the food to feed Pete at the start of the episode and then angrily destroyed it) is uhhhh making me die actually

fuck and that's a direct contrast to Pete eating the noodles alone and mimicking his hand being bound and also being choked kinda. this is so fucked uppppp

"Just believe what he said" bro what the fuck? Pete is literally bruised and scarred and uhhhh mentally broken too though they may not have noticed that yet. Even if you don't prod and give him privacy, you should be like somebody's tortured him and he won't tell us who. Like Porsche probably doesn't believe him but why is he telling Kinn to be chill about it

Ohh, I see why that person is talking about Porsche and Vegas teaming up. Anyway, Vegas certainly deserves more than 1 punch for Tawan and Pete each but it's a start

Okay well I guess the "you can't be bought by the main family" is true for Vegas only lol Also hmm Vegas saw a photo of Porsche's mom in his dad's office and somewhere else he can't remember. I know in the novels Kinn and Porsche are cousins or something?!

Anyway, Porsche really brought Pete to the bar at Vegas' request like truly what. Tankhun is fr the only one who cares about Pete beyond a surface level. Like okay Porsche is threatening Vegas but ?? literally what, how are you trusting fucking Vegas bro? Porsche really was like "My friend is gonna just have to deal with being faced with his kidnapper and torturer right now like 2 minutes after escaping him and having had no time or help processing what he went through :)"

killing me with the ToddBlack Not Me parallels by the way

That fact that the only comfort he's gotten (that one group comedic hug after arriving + Porsche taking care of his wounds don't count) is in the hands of Vegas, this is so fucked up

fucking fucked up scene bro

Kinn visiting Porsche's parents' grave and being introduced to them is really freaking cute and sweet actually. Porsche was so endearing here I almost forgot I wanted to kill him for practically delivering Pete to Vegas

Pool scene but I'm ace and don't really care much about KinnPorsche the couple anymore, so I skipped starting when Porsche ended up with his back to the glass wall

Dang, Porsche and Chay packed and left

Tankhun once again coming through with actually caring

We back to Porsche on the back of Vegas' motorcycle lol

Damn lol rip uncle just as you were about to say a name. We know Korn was there but who else... Vegas' dad? Like that man is the only other person relevant to this story from that time, not including Porsche's uncle who is also now dead. Although we've got that random guy Porsche almost killed last episode lol Is that the same police guy Kim went to ask questions to? If not, then I guess he's an option too.

But did Porsche have to leave with Vegas though? Not like Kinn was gonna shoot him el oh el and they could've been like I wanted information from my uncle

Oh damn the bodyguard beside Kinn is Pete. Is he back to absolute full health after multiple days of torture? Also, Kinn and Pete chasing after Vegas and Porsche

Why the hell did Kinn shoot at the uncle though? Makes no damn sense, why would he shoot at who Porsche is with? Unless it's not him and somebody else shot at him? I guess that's why Porsche and Vegas left actually like damn why Kinn kill my uncle?

Porsche calling Korn meung

Porsche's mom is Korn's nong, so Porsche and Kinn really are cousins lmfao like literally the most cousin you can be with someone, none of that second/third cousin or twice/thrice-removed

Wow, I'm actually watching the preview because I'll actually have to wait for the next episode. At least it says it's the Longest Episode, so I hope it's like 1.5-2 hours so that they actually properly wrap things up nicely (and no cliffhangers because I don't have faith in a second season). Seems like the minor family's gonna attack the major family. I also don't trust them to properly wrap up VegasPete so I'll just enjoy the fact that I'm liking them now and hope that doesn't change next episode.

Bro, I find gifs to reblog but then it's like I actually cannot say what I want to say in the tags because it's just gonna be me slandering the characters and writers whenever it's not a vegaspete scene. like the gifsets of porsche punching vegas are all 'go porsche!' but it's like umm does 1 punch do anything when you actually brought that friend who is traumatized and broken to his captor and abuser?

Porsche and Kinn's apathy towards Pete makes me angrier toward them than Vegas' treatment of Pete makes me (that one makes me more scared and nervous than angry). Pete literally went on a deadly mission for Porsche, Kinn said Pete was his most trusted bodyguard and yet they forgot about him, failed to realize he was in such deep trouble, didn't freaking do anything after they realized Pete wasn't at Grandma's, just stood to the side and rolled their eyes as Tankhun grieved Pete, didn't offer him proper medical or psychological help, had Pete eat fucking noodles by himself, then took Pete to a bar so that Vegas can get to him. Some of these were for ~comedy~ while the others were to progress the plot but they both just scream weak writing, all "we don't know how to make the plot move forward in a logical manner and we don't know how to give our characters depth and consistency"

Porsche being a selfish character or a bad friend would've been interesting actually, I love flawed characters. If Kinn was framed as not caring about any of the bodyguards at all until Porsche came along, that would've also explained his behaviour thus far (actually, maybe I should just assume this to be true and I would have if Kinn displayed more mafia heir behaviour. Like if Kim was the one who didn't give a fuck about the bodyguards, I'd believe it but here, they're not showing that Kinn doesn't care, they're just showing we the writers don't care about the dead bodyguards and can't have kinn rescuing or finding the missing one). But no, these aspects of them aren't really explored or mentioned at all, rather they're less "aspects" of the character and more just "this is how this character needs to act to move the plot forward and this doesn't need to accurate to their character and this behaviour may not continue moving forward."

Bruh I gotta stop writing these essays like yeah okay the writing and characterization for this show sucks ass. The writers will not be getting any flowers from me, though I did like VegasPete in this episode.

Episode 11 and 12's few conversations/mourning a hedgehog/having sex doesn't change their whole personality. It definitely fundamentally changes them, it has unlocked some parts of themselves, but that does not mean Vegas is now a new and changed person. He still has the same coping mechanisms and outbursts, it's not like he learned to deal with abuse in a different way. It fucking sucks that something has broken inside Pete, he's still defiant and self-reliant which is how he managed to escape and not forgive Vegas immediately + he still has the ability to smile and deflect as before. So it's not that Vegas has conquered or destroyed Pete but having been contained/treated that way + having sex with Vegas really fucked up Pete mentally.

Episode 10 and 11 torture was impersonal but this time, it felt less like torture and more like domestic violence and that's what was scarier to me. They're making Vegas so pitiful and I guess he is but I don't feel all that much sympathy towards him; I hope they give us more reasons to actually root for him beyond just 'he's pathetic uwu give him love'

Bible (especially) and Build did a really great job showcasing their emotions.

I don't actually know what I want to happen next episode. They can't make them a couple can they? Maybe if the episode is 3 hours long and 1.5 of that is VegasPete lol. I know this is a romance so they'll end up together but I wouldn't mind if they don't; if they do, I need the writing to be strong please please please. I'd guess that something monumental will happen that changes their relationship once again (like Vegas taking a bullet for Pete or something idk) and then probably an open ending with Pete just starting to forgive Vegas. This way they can get that season 2 money lol

I'll watch the 13th episode again before Saturday probably, at least the VegasPete parts. (Edit: Didn't rewatch before ep 14 lol)

How the hell would I even rate this so far? The main storyline and main couple are like a 6 (had some good parts, esp at the beginning but now I dislike the characters, don't care about their ship, the plot is picking up a little bit but it was really useless in the middle there). VegasPete are like an 8 (great acting, intriguing freaking storyline, I care a lot about Pete and I'm captivated by Vegas and find his character very intriguing - although, I don't quite pity him yet even though they want me to so badly). KimChay is whatever - I don't really care about them at all. The acting is great, the show looks good, I've been reading fics like nobody's business (KinnPorsche before I started watching and at the start, now almost exclusively VegasPete lol I'm making my way through their completed fics from oldest to newest).

Maybe a 6.5? 7? We'll see how the finale pans out I guess.

Episode 14 Blogging

[generalexcuse]

Alright. I am beating a dead horse here but taking time off of this show and fandom did not work. This will be the last time I ever say something about it but it’s upsetting to me so I need to vent. And to everyone saying “You are an adult man and this is fiction, why are you so obsessed? Weirdo. Learn to differentiate between fiction and reality.” I am going to address these notions as well as other problems I am having here. But really, Inuyasha was one of my first Anime, I have many dear memories and especially Rin was one of my all time favourite characters. Seeing her being mistreated like this upsets me. Ofc it does because if you watch something in formative years it’s not just fiction like a boring sitcom you watch now. Shows and characters are important to people and to simply dismiss it like that even if they would have been equally upset if it wouldnt have become canon, is infuriating. Really this is just therapeutic for me because even after weeks it’s still so baffling to me. Also please excuse the grammar and spelling mistakes. I am not a native speaker.

So the problem is obviously Sessrin and how it’s done because while I absolutely dont agree with this pairing, it would have been fine if it wasnt like it is. 

In the original show, Rin is an 8 yo child and her entire character reflects just that. She behaves like a child and depends on others. She has also been traumatized, doesnt speak at the beginning of the show and dies twice. Both times she is saved by or because of Sesshomaru. In many ways, while she has survival skills on her own, she depends on his presence alone to keep danger away. He also leaves her with trustworthy humans at the end but stays in her life as a protector. Now I like the original dynamic. It’s sweet, innocent and both characters grow because of it. Rin can work through her traumatic experiences, learns to trust others and Sesshomaru becomes a better person.  What happens afterwards only happens offscreen right until Rin gives birth to his children at the crippling old age of 15. 15. My lil sis is 16 now and couldnt consent to something like that. And she is mature af. It’s ridiculous. My blood boils just typing that shit out. And if you give me the ‘it’s legal in Japan’ excuse. In Germany a 14 yo can be with a 20 yo sexually. Still not okay in societies eyes and on tv it’s never shown as something positive. It’s even explicitly forbidden for authority figures like teachers or protectors to be with their protégé before the age of 18 because the chances of even unintentional grooming are too high. 

Now lets take a quick break and discuss how this kind of relationship usually plays out in other fictional pieces. A minor with an adult is something that is being portrayed at times and I dont have a problem with that. The problem is how it’s being done in Yashahime. And I dont mean the nonexisting character development but the fact that even in adult fiction this type of relationship isnt depicted positively. And this show is for young adults and teens that will exist way after all the discourse as the official sequel to Inuyasha. A cult anime. Meaning that in the future young people will watch it. Just like many still watch Inuyasha to this day. It’s on Netflix for fucks sake. Just to preface what comes next.   Some people say, “But cant you differentiate between reality and fiction?!?!?!” Adults can but younger people havent developed this ability to the same extent.   What happened to Rin was statutory r*pe in the USA, illegal even in Germany and should have been depicted as such unless the showrunners and fandom are okay with watching it without criticism or deconstruction. At best it was done with the intention to please the fanbase but really it’s neglectful to anyother part of the present and future audience. Not even most Animes do that. And I get that Sessriners arent into that shit in real life and an adult show could have gone this route because the viewers understand and add the criticism in their heads. Not ideal but whatever to me. But a YA show to go this route is so wrong on so many levels. The younger viewer who will watch this show in the following years might subconsciously internalize that this is acceptable under certain conditions when it’s not criticized properly on the show. That lowers their alertness when an adult actually starts to groom them. How dense do you have to be to assume that the lack of criticism on this YA show is a good thing?? Not everyone who will ever watch this show is an adult or capable of the same reasoning.

But another thing: for the same reason r*pe isnt depicted in a positive light, these types of relationships arent either. Because it’s not a positive thing and most people and showrunners dont want to see or create it as positive. Even in adult fiction, even in other anime, the media critizes and deconstructs what it’s showing because normally the showmakers dont approve but show it for realisitc or dramatic reasons. the same sessrin storyline would fit a fucking horror or thriller series. Just change the music and show it all. No showmakers in their right mind would go “Aye we got a r*pe scene coming up, lets put romantic music and have a pink filter over it.” “But it’s a different time and culture!” People will say and I agree but to have the audacity to assume that back then it was okay or that in todays Japan it’s okay, is fucked up. Think about it for a second. That’s so fucked up to think. Even if the society back then or in Japan thinks it’s okay, does it make it okay? 15 yo girls werent able to consent to adults and bear their children back then. They had to. They were raised with the expectations and they simply grew up thinking that it was the normal thing. But that doesnt make it right. That’s just societal grooming which did not prepare them in any way or allowed them the human dignity that they would have deserved. To now act like it’s all cool to just show the “positive” aspects or to twist it into something positive is so fucked up. Child Brides are a fucked up concept and to portray it as anything else is fucked up and also undermines the experience many girls still have to make. period.

I heard people say that it’s okay to portray it in this way because “Sesshomaru is not human!!!1″ and that’s correct. He is not. BUT, it’s not about being human but about maturity, consens, and independency. Him being a yokai makes it worse imo because there is an obvious power discrepancy. But in this particular fiction a good relationship could have been established (Kagome and Inuyasha for example) on those foundations but they did not because I can only assume they wanted Sesshomaru to smash and the show to pick up at a point where the other characters arent too old to be cool.

“What’s with Sango and Miroku, Kagome and Inuyasha?? It’s the same!” No it’s not. Rin was 8 at the beginning of the show. Kagome was 15 and Sango was 16-17 when they met their significant others. If you now tell me that you think 8 to be comparable to 15-17, I must ask you to get a reality check. Kagome’s and Sango’s relationships were slowburns starting when they already were able to have sexual and romantical feelings. Rin was a child. And Kagome did not kiss Inuyasha until they knew each other for a long ass period of time and bonded as friends and maybe more. Sesshomaru and Rin never were friends in the same way that Kagome and Inuyasha were because the maturity levels are way off. No adult is friends with a little child in the same way they are friends with their adult friends. And normally you dont grow into such a friendship but in the rare case you do, it’s not when she is 15 but maybe 20 or 25. 

Last but not least, Rin is not a character to the audience the same way Kagome or Sango are. Why? Because she was never shown as an adult or 3 Dimensional character to the audience. We know her as a child who wants to be with her trusted group. She is naive, but tough and doesnt have any motivation or drive on her own outside her group. Like every child she clung to the adults around her and her world outside of this group was nonexisting. Kagome wanted to be successful in school, Sango was a demon hunter and wanted to find her brother. Those are motivations and traits that dont circle around the love interest. Rin never had those because she was not developed to that point. Because she was a child and her entire existence was to develop Sesshomaru and to perhaps give the viewer a character to simply adore. What we see is of her: Mistreated child, -> Dead child -> Child being looked after and healing, -> Child not being homeless anymore -> ????? -> Teenager getting knocked up, pumping out main characters and then getting yeeted into a tree. 

This is not the way you treat a beloved character. There is no dignity to her character. “But she is fictional!!1″ Yes she is. But please show me a show that treats its child characters like this without criticizing it. 

I would have loved to see her grow as her own person. Go on her own adventures or learning a craft or developing meaningful bonds with other characters her age. Forming ideas that dont revolve around Sesshomaru alone. You know her being 3 Dimentional and not just there to pump out main characters. And if she then with 20 or 25 met Sesshomaru again and thought he was the hottest shit, I would have been fine with it. Not happy but fine. But in the little time we saw her as ‘not a child’, she still behaved the way she did before. 

[quercus-queer]

BA’s Reckoning

Yes, I stole this title from the Sporkful podcast. You should check it out!

So just a reminder the whole thing that kicked this off was when Tammie Teclemariam tweeted the photo of Rapoport in brown face (yes its brown face its a purposeful caricature of Puerto Rican ppl, his girlfriend called him her papi in the caption as well) saying he should simply write the article on Puerto Rican food then (the issue was Illyanna Maisonet, a Puerto Rican food writer, got rejected rudely by Rapo for her pitch to write about Puerto Rican food) Which brings up the larger issue of BA being racist and not covering any other dishes besides Eurocentric ones, and the ones that aren't Eurocentric are almost always either whitewashed or done by white people which is what happened with Masionet’s article (this is where Amanda Shapiro and Meryl Rothstein come in).

This led to a zoom meeting where Rapo made a shitty apology leading Sohla El-Waylly’s instagram posts, where she condemns Rapo, talks about her 50k salary despite having 15 years of restaurant experience (She ran a fucking restaurant and 50k in NYC is pathetic), being hired to help white editors, and not being paid for ANY of her video appearances (none of the poc you see in videos have been compensated including the zoom videos). Which has led to many people at BA being exposed for being terrible (Conde Nast is the parent company and owns BA, Vogue, Architectural Digest, Allure, Glamour, Wired, Epicurious,Teen Vogue among other things... also take note how most of these have consistently been criticized for their racism or “race problems”)

ANYWAY here’s a general guide of what each BA person has done, this is in no way comprehensive, feel free to investigate on your own, always fact check and form your own opinions!

Adam Rapoport: Brown face, not paying his non-white employees for their video appearances, treating his assistant Ryan Walker-Hartshorn (a black woman) like shit (she was working overtime and was barely making rent with what he was paying her), he's sexist (see every video with Molly) and racist (mixing up Sohla and Priya Krishna and never apologizing) and more!

Check out the Business Insider piece, twitter (Tammie’s, Christina Chaey’s, and Priya’s), Sohla’s podcast and interviews, and someone made a compilation of Rapo being condescending I think

Matt Duckor: Disgusting, racist, homophobic, sexist all around terrible person, probably the most obviously terrible of the bunch (see Rick Martinez’s insta plus Duckor’s own tweets), strung along Sohla for months saying that her pay was “stuck in legal” so that she would keep appearing in videos, gave Sohla a contract when this stuff first started happening to try and shut her up, HE is the one deciding pay for everyone at BA and was the one not paying poc for video appearances.

Check out Rick’s Insta, Twitter for Duckor’s tweets (screenshots bc he deleted his account)

Carla Lalli Music: First off, ppl are pointing out she was condescending af to a lot of her guests on her show (except for the white ones). The racism at BA did not start nor stop with Adam Rapoport and guess who was editor in chief before him? Yup, Mrs. Carla Lalli Music! Necessary amendment: Carla was the food director NOT the editor in chief and she is currently an editor at large... still a powerful position though and I think the sentiment still stands. She had a pretty pathetic twitter thread about how she should’ve done more but was focused on the sexism/focusing on women, strange because she also sent that shitty email to two women along with Delany and Brad after the two of them, Delany, and Brad were talking in the kitchen, telling them not to enter the kitchen without permission (not enforced on Brad or Delany obviously, only the two women who happen to not be white) I misread the article, Brad was a part of the convo, he did NOT receive the email, and didn't respond to the articles request for comment.. he fucking works in the test kitchen, i’m an idiot and that's on me

Business insider and her twitter 

Alex Delany: I have a post with the screenshots of the confederate flag cake he made himself because he felt the “need to express some southern heritage in cake form. Such a glorious cake...” for his friend moving to South Carolina, the lovely vine with the classic “F*g is a bundle of sticks joke” also have a post discussing that, he’s wildly underqualified for DRINKS editor and overpaid, also his girlfriend is Allegra Lorenzotti whose mother Eva Lorenzotti, is in Jeffery Epstein’s black book which is concerning (though who knows maybe Delany is dating a different wealthy Allegralo), also those sexist tweets

I have screenshots from Tumblr, ppl have the vine on twitter along with the sexist tweets (he deleted his twitter and Tumblr btw)

Andy Baraghani: There are screenshots of Alyse Whitney’s (an asian woman) twitter thread saying Andy purposefully undercut her articles multiple times because of a petty feud with Antoni from Queer Eye by using his friendship with Amanda Shapiro (Whitney’s editor) to kill the story, which is shitty and brings up the bigger picture of BA being cliquey and getting in with a friend of a friend and such which is just a toxic work environment

Amanda Shapiro: Puerto Rican food article, Alyse Whitney’s articles, she’s a perpetuator of the toxic work environment, stealing Nikita Richardson’s work and getting credit and pay for it (pls check out her twitter and the articles with her), also racist, should not be in charge

Chris Morocco: Made one (1) basic post (simply a reply to Molly calling him out actually) at the beginning of all this agreeing to not be in anymore videos until his coworkers got paid/backpay, he said he was complicit (duh) but also that he had no idea this was happening, but guess what? He is the one that hired Sohla for only 50k! There is a whole can of worms about how little Sohla was hired for despite her experience plus talent along with her current pay and Chris is a part of that. Also both his gumbo video and Halo Halo recipe are downright disrespectful at BEST and they should not have had a white man doing them (again with the white people doing articles/videos that can be EASILY given to someone whose actually part of that culture) and before anyone says anything yes the gumbo was for Chris’s show (strange how only white ppl get shows or in Andy’s case unless you’re friends with a higher up) still doesn't make the video less disrespectful, also he’s SAID he is friends with Anna Wintour (head of vogue, and a racist “there’s no room for black women” the reason the vogue challenge is happening)

Brad Leone: Himbo status permanently revoked, “Brad who just found out racism is real”(Sohla said this in the Sporkful podcast) is NOT acceptable for a 35 year old white man whose coworkers are suffering in a clearly toxic work environment, the screenshot with “I didn’t sign her contract she did” is NOT how you respond to your coworker being underpaid and disrespected by the company she works at because she is not a white man. I do not like him anymore, he has made apologies but ignorance to this extent is willful and I don't completely buy it the rumors he was upset Delany was going to be fired/would quit if Delany was fired/was mad at Sohla is not something I was able to confirm but based off of what I’ve seen he really needs to prove himself to be better, he can stay if that’s what his coworkers want but he is on thin fucking ice

Stuff I can't accredit to a single person, but BA is racist: 

NIKITA RICHARDSON, pls check her out on twitter

They sent Sohla to interview black chefs (bc BA has a bad track record) because she was the darkest and there were literally NO black chefs working at BA

Making Priya only cook Indian dishes (which were kinda whitewashed) I actually think this may have been Duckor

Tokenizing the poc staff (they would make them be in the kitchen when filming the white hosts shows and push them in front of the camera to highlight nonexistent diversity)

Paying Hawa Hassan only $400 for her video (probs also Duckor)

[underfell-crystal]

~~Dangerous Woman~~

Another oneshot starring an AU pairing of Harp and Copper, this time in the MafiaTale universe! @avtfol came up with the idea, and I've decided to put it into writing.

TW: Massive creep vibes, sexual harassment, shady mafia stuff

Goldie may have been the don of New York City's largest human mafia, but there was somebody else who could rival his power. His most favored member, who went by the nickname of 'the Lady Boss'.

Her mere presence commanded respect, and she radiated cold confidence. Nobody but her don knew her real name. As Goldie's closest confidant, she knew all the inner workings of the mafia. But, for being such a stoic woman, there was one thing that she couldn't hide, and that was the fact that she HATED being around Goldie. Being around him made her nose crinkle in disgust and her eyes narrow in contempt.

But it wasn't like she could tell him outright to fuck off when he got handsy, his hands sliding down her waist with a look full of lust.

He knew where her family lived. In fact, he'd even ordered a group of his men to always keep tabs on them just to keep her from leaving, effectively trapping her. She hated being trapped.

But she also loved her family. She would do anything for them. If that meant putting up with a pervy don, killing people, and dealing with constant, suffocating paranoia every day?

Fine. She'd do it.

------

"We're going to the gala tonight, angelbird. Eight p.m, sharp."

Bee didn't look up from the papers in front of her. "Mhm."

"I picked out a dress for you. You'd look absolutely breathtaking in it."

Ugh. She'd prefer not to show off ninety percent of her body, thank you very much. "I'll think about it."

"Please do, angelbird." The don turned and marched from the room, probably to spend four hours pampering himself and getting ready to meet with the other dons. Bee huffed and brushed a strand of her short, pitch black hair behind her ear, only for it to fall back into place a moment later. So much work to do...

.

.

.

As she thought, the black dress Goldie had picked out for her was far too risqué for her taste. Sure, she didn't mind showing off her body a bit, but she didn't need any more men leering at her tonight. Goldie was more than enough. So, she settled on something far better: a beautiful red, floor-length gown with a slit up the side of it and some gold jewelry with red gemstones to match.

Fixing her hair, she sat at her vanity, carefully applying eyeliner, lipstick, eyeshadow, and mascara. She rubbed her lips together and opened her mouth with a popping sound, the blood red a beautiful contrast to her icy blue eyes. Bee looked over her reflection critically before sitting back with a soft, pleased smile. She looked beautiful.

Satisfied with her appearance, she stood up and slipped into her red heels, gliding from her room and to the elevator. Outside the penthouse was a black car with a driver waiting for her. She sat down in the back, taking care to not catch her dress in the car door. As soon as she was situated, the car took off.

Hopefully this night would go without a hitch.

.

.

.

The hall where the gala was being held was already full of people when Bee's black car arrived. The car parked in front of the entrance, and a man outside opened the door for her, inclining his head to her as she stepped out, gracefully standing up. "Welcome to the gala, Madame."

"Thank you." Polite and simple. That's all she needed. She swept from the bottom of the staircase up to the main hall, keeping her eyes straight forward. She could see Goldie at the other end of the hall, talking to the other dons, including several monsters she hadn't seen before. One of them was a skeleton with a strange collar that was glowing green around his neck.

Ugh. Fantastic. More people Goldie got to parade her around to. She kept a pleasant smile on her face as she walked up to them, sliding her arm through Goldie's. She could feel his smirk widen. "Hello my darling."

She hummed in response, tilting her head against his shoulder. If she said anything, she'd probably start cursing him out. Goldie turned his attention back to the others. "This is my beautiful angelbird. The brains behind the operation, if you will."

His hand slid down her lower back. This greasy bastard.... She felt her eye twitch, though her smile remained pleasant. She glanced up and saw the skeleton looking at her oddly. She quickly averted her gaze, pretending to be shy. Please, God, just let this be over with quickly...

.

.

.

Three hours later, and Bee was done. She had abandoned Goldie as quickly as possible after his little stunt in front of the other dons. She was currently hiding from the other slightly-less-powerful mafia members in an attempt to not socialize. She just wanted to have a few drinks, then go home, wash all her makeup off, and go to sleep. She raised her half empty glass of wine to her lips again, her gaze flicking around the large hall.

She heard footsteps approaching from the side and glanced out of the corner of her eye. Oh. It was the skeleton with the glowing collar. He leaned against the wall next to her, silent for a moment. "You looked quite angry."

Ah. So he noticed. Her voice didn't change. "Sorry? You must be mistaken."

He chuckled, swirling his own wine glass. "Nah. Could see it in yer eyes, doll. You hate that guy... Goldie, was it?"

She didn't say anything, just took another sip of her wine. "If you want something from me, say it and leave."

"Quick to cut to the chase, eh? Sure. I wanna help you."

Bee turned her head to look at him. "I beg your pardon?"

The skeleton stared back. "He's the don. Even if you do most of the work, he's still the head honcho. Which means you gotta do what he says."

"Mentioned that fact, did he?"

"Oh yeah. Got some real creep vibes from him, too. Sayin' some nasty things about you."

Bee's grip on the wine glass tightened. Of course he would go behind her back and make disgusting jokes about her body. How very like Goldie. She could feel the glass in her hand starting to crack when the skeleton spoke again. "Like I said. I wanna help. I can help."

"Thanks for the offer, but I've been doing this for a VERY long time. I know what I'm doing."

"You hate it, though. You hate HIM, specifically."

He nodded at the blond still talking and laughing with the other dons. Bee sent Goldie a cold glare over the top of her wine glass. "... Fine. What's your offer?"

"Some of my guys are already working on being accepted as new members of pretty boy's mafia. I want you to try and convince him to let 'em in so they can get to tearing his empire down from the inside. In return, I'll help ya get away from Goldie."

He must've seen the look on her face, because he hastened to speak again. "I know ya've got things keepin' you from leaving. Rest assured, whatever you need, I can help."

Bee looked him in the eye sockets. "How do I know you won't snitch to Goldie as soon as I walk away."

He chuckled. "Aww, don't trust me, doll?"

"Absolutely not."

He barked out a laugh. "Clever lady. Alright. I'll give you my word, I will not say anything to him."

"Your word won't mean anything to me if I'm being beaten into a bloody pulp."

"Can see why yer the brains of the operation... Alright, here."

He took a ring off one of his phalanges and offered it to her. "Keep this until you know I'm not gonna rat ya out."

It was a 'don ring'. A physical representation of his status. She examined it, then slipped it on. As long as nobody looked too closely at her new ring for the rest of the night, she would be fine. "This will do."

"Sure. Hey, I wantcha to meet the guys who are gonna be 'joinin' yer mafia. Tonight. Now, if ya got nothin better to do."

"... Fine. Let's go. I never caught your name, by the way."

"Ya can call me Res, doll. What about you, you got a name?"

"You may call me Vee."

"Vee, huh. Welp, alright. Let's go."

He strode off with purpose, back toward the entrance of the gala. Bee followed him, not caring whether Goldie saw her leave or not. She didn't have a responsibility to be here anymore. She and Res got into a black car rather similar to her own, and the driver briefly glanced at her before taking off.

While they were traveling, Res gave her the rundown of who would be attempting to join Goldie's mafia. Several dog monsters, a flame monster, and another skeleton: Copper, Res' brother. After Res finished with explaining who was trying to get in, it was Bee's turn to explain the 'process' of getting into Goldie's mafia.

It... wasn't a pretty one. Dangerous, too.

Res furrowed his nonexistant brows. "And you're SURE they'll be fine?"

"Of course. Entry is brutal, but everyone going in has lived. And once they're in, there's practically no other security measures. You're part of the 'family' now. You can make your way up through the ranks, but it sure as Hell ain't easy."

"How'd you do it?"

"I've been stuck with Goldie for over a decade. I'm competent at what I do. But as much as I hate to admit it, Goldie favors me, so I get special treatment."

Res nodded slowly. "So... Jus' try and stay on his good side?"

"Yeah, basically."

"Thank you, Vee."

"Yeah. Sure."

Another fifteen minutes, and they had arrived at a large manor. Res got out and opened the door for Bee, and she stepped out, goosebumps crawling up her arms as her bare skin met the cold air. Res motioned for her to follow him, ascending the stairs up to the entrance. He strode inside, waving off his guards to let Bee pass. Inside, he called for his brother as Bee looked around. It was rather nice. Expensive looking, too, but that came with the benefits of being the head of a mafia.

A minute later, someone very tall appeared at the top of the second floor railing, looking down at Bee and Res for a moment before turning and walking down the stairs.

Wow. Okay. He was VERY tall. He easily dwarfed her, standing at.... eight feet, at the bare minimum. He looked down at her, mismatched eye sockets crinkling slightly. "Well ain't you a pretty lil thing."

Great. Another Goldie. She smiled sweetly at him. "This 'pretty lil thing' is your ticket into the biggest human mafia in the city, so keep your comments to yourself."

He blinked at her, then turned and looked at Res with a raised bone-brow. Res cleared his 'throat'. "Copper, this is Vee. Vee, this is Copper. I apologize for his lack of manners."

"Hm. Show me the others."

Res led Bee away from Copper, who watched her leave, an intrigued expression on his face. She had barely spoken to him, but he could already tell.

She was one very dangerous woman.

[starswornoaths]

Prompt 1: Crux

This just kind of. Sprinted away from me. Have some relationship discussion/examination and character introspection on some Elezen, through the lens of relationships. I hope this sparks joy! Cross posted on AO3

Word count: 2,442

“I beg your pardon,” Aymeric spoke up in the tense quiet of the sitting room. “But I believe this courtship disservices us both.”

His paramour— former paramour, he amended with some bittersweet relief— sighed as if in defeat (but not surprise, and Aymeric noted that acutely,) and set his teacup primly on its saucer.

“May I ask why? I had thought our arrangement had been going rather well.” 

It certainly had been, for a time. Then, as is inevitable with such intimate relations, the true nature of his partner emerged through sheer exposure to him. Aymeric could not reconcile the man he had adored with the man he now knew him to be.

“In coming to know you, I fear our differences are irreconcilable. Further pursuit on either of our parts feels dishonest.”

“This is about the marriage comment, isn’t it?” The noble asked, tone edging on something less than polite. 

A tone Aymeric had gotten uncomfortably familiar with suddenly and recently, when topics of lowborns or bastards came up. Always with the hastily tacked on, “Oh, but I don’t mean you, handsome!” It had guaranteed that he would never even want to entertain the notion of marriage, which in turn had rendered a courtship between them utterly pointless.

“I meant it. I would marry you! You’ve done well for yourself, given your...circumstances. We could still have—”

“No. We cannot.” Aymeric sharply cut him off. “It would require mutual interest. I assure you in the wake of your infidelity and disrespect, it no longer exists, but I thank you for your time.”

“My, my. How impersonal.” The noble stood and brushed nonexistent dust from his coat. The spiteful contempt on his face was evident.  “This is likely for the best. I couldn’t even expect a warm bed with you, you’re such an unfeeling cu—”

“If you are finished, my attendant will show you out.” Aymeric ignored his comment, and calmly returned to his tea to hide the sting of the insult.

After a few moments made more tense by the sound of silence pierced only with angry, labored breathing of his ex-lover and the faint clinking of Aymeric setting his own teacup on its saucer, the hard, rapid thumping of the nobleman’s shoes against carpet punctuated Aymeric’s loneliness, and capped it off entirely with the slam of the heavy oak door.

“Remind me why you put up with him so long, again?” Estinien groused into his ale later that evening, once the knights on the midday shift had made for the Forgotten Knight the moment muster was over. 

Aymeric lacked an answer that would satisfy either of them, and avoided replying by way of a heavy pull from his own flagon. Estinien leaned back heavily enough that his chainmail rattled against the back of the chair when he connected with it, a huff escaping him when he realized an answer was not forthcoming.

“I’m still going to break his fucking legs.” The lancer groused.

“Now, now, much as he is undeserving of his kneecaps, assault would only make more trouble for our friend!” Haurchefant piped up as he flagged a waitress down to order another round.

Though it more or less quieted the griping of their friend, it didn’t entirely silence the grumbling. Aymeric was unsure of whether to feel touched or concerned for how much they— Estinien in particular— cared. Still, flanked by his friends at the table as he was, it helped to feel less alone, and eased the heartache, if only a bit.

“Regardless of your penchant for violence against those who seek to use me,” Aymeric sighed and set his flagon down. “It means much that I am yet in good company.”

“That does bring up your unfortunate track record, my friend.” Haurchefant mused, and just this once, his expression was serious, troubled. “Though your courtships have been few...they have not particularly ended well, have they?”

“That is putting it mildly.” Estinien snorted. 

“Oh, must we?” Aymeric groaned, and swiped a hand down his face. When Estinien opened his mouth to reply, he instead continued, “I am aware that my relationships have hitherto ended...poorly. Spectacularly so. And I have been subjected to mistreatment in each-” he ran a hand through his bangs. “-I ended them all the moment I realized I was being used, being hurt. I know what it is to be loved, and I know what courtesy and respect I deserve, as a person.”

“Really, that’s the best anyone can do. Pray do not take our concerns as criticism of you—” Haurchefant tried to reassure him.

“Speak for yourself.” Estinien muttered into his ale. “I think him a fool.”

Haurchefant kicked Estinien’s shin under the table hard enough to make the lancer choke on his drink. As he dissolved into a coughing fit, Haurchefant continued as though he had never been interrupted, “We aren’t here to criticize, and most certainly should not do so. We only worry because we care. This is most assuredly naught more than a string of bad luck—”

“I would take it as a providential warning at this point.” Aymeric muttered into his ale before he drained his flagon and set it aside. 

After thanking the waitress for bringing them another round and tipping her for the trouble, he spoke up again, hesitant. “I think...I should just stop looking. Focus on the good things and the good people I already have in my life. For mine own sake.”

Haurchefant looked aghast at the suggestion— for how could he play matchmaker anymore if that was the way of it— but when he opened his mouth to interject, Estinien returned that kick to the shin with a hard heel to the ankle. 

Ignoring Haurchefant’s yowling, and the jostling of the table by his jolting in his seat, Estinien picked up his flagon and replied, “If that’s what it takes for you to not get hurt, then do so. Halone knows the both of you—” he gestured at Aymeric and Haurchefant with the hand still holding his ale, “—have little but your looks going for you.”

“Arse.” Aymeric and Haurchefant groused in unison.

“I mean it— the only thing Ishgard cares less about than the poor are the bastards. Anything you have that others would kill for? It makes you the exception to the rule. It makes you a target.” Estinien pressed, his expression serious. “So do what you must to be safe.”

A heavy weight hung over them, oppressive enough they all curled into their cups a little, falling quiet. Aymeric knew that his friend was right— knew that loneliness was preferable to being made to feel alone, and even before that silence was shattered, had already begun to lay the groundwork for those walls he would need to raise around his heart.

“You are right, and the contradiction between Ishgardian politics and my upbringing is the crux of the issue, I suppose.” He finally admitted softly. When Haurchefant sprang up to try and insist differently, he continued, “I know what it is to be loved, and what love and respect I would deserve from and to give my partner. I know that I deserve that, as a person, and I will settle for naught less. If that condemns me to be alone, then so be it.”

“Aymeric, my friend…” Haurchefant sounded sad, but could tell he knew not how to change his friend’s mind. 

Very likely, he could not.

“You need not worry for me.” Aymeric reassured, and for the first time in what felt like years, his smile felt genuine. “‘Tis as I said: I have known love from my parents— Halone rest their souls— and I—”

He hesitated a moment, and lowered his suddenly timid gaze to the frothy head of his ale. Thinking on the comfort that these two men had offered him, had continued to offer him and help support him with, even if he understood that neither of them romantically loved him— or at least, if they did, not deep enough to make it a courtship— he scrounged up enough bravery to admit to his own observations.

“And I continue to know love with the both of you. So ‘tis not all bad. I do not need a courtship to know happiness.”

“...We aren’t here to use you and toss you aside.” Estinien said suddenly, voice uncharacteristically soft. When Aymeric looked up at him, it was Estinien’s turn to stare into his half drank flagon of ale. “Neither of us can offer you that, but...but what we have offered, we’ve done it because we want to.”

“Because we do love you.” Haurchefant said with a nod. 

Estinien said nothing— though his lack of correction was noted, and what mattered.

“If tonight has proven anything, I hope it has proven that if I thought otherwise, I would not be here with you.” Aymeric reassured, and resumed drinking.

Though they did not speak of it again, their mood lifted significantly after that.

The trio, true to their words, had continued to give that warmth and comfort in what ways they could, in what capacity they had, though as their careers pulled them ever further apart, it became easier to forget what that sort of love looked like, until Aymeric couldn’t recall the last time they had been able to make the time for any of it at all. Not for years. Duty and schedules and stations had pulled them apart physically, though letters helped to bridge that distance. Aymeric had learned to make that enough. It was enough. He was happy.

Which was why, once the Warrior of Light had been welcomed as a friend to the three of them, he had thought nothing of stopping to speak with her following a chance encounter in the Pillars. That Haurchefant and Estinien had hung a few paces did not strike Aymeric as odd. As a flower after a dark knight, Aymeric bent toward her radiance.

“I’m so glad I ran into you!” Serella said brightly, and produced a book. “Here— I’m on my way out of the city, but I found it!”

“Found—?” Aymeric had a book suddenly pressed against his chest with a light thmp before he could ask.

Taking the book from her, and forcing himself to tear his gaze from the bright, excited smile she gave him, he glanced down at the book in his hands. When he realized it was the book he’d been meaning to pick up but could not track down a copy of, he gasped in shocked joy.

“How on earth did you manage to find one in the city?” He asked excitedly, already looking back up at her with what he hoped was a socially acceptable level of happiness.

“Oh, I didn’t. Gridania had a copy, though, in one of their bookstores.” She shrugged. “I was there on business, but when I saw it, I thought of you. Wanted to make sure you got to read it.”

“Why? I recall you misliked this series.” Aymeric lamented, even though his elation. 

“Sure, but I remembered how much you liked it.” She explained like it was obvious why she would go out of her way.

“What do I owe you?” He asked suddenly. At the confused expression and tilt of her head, he elaborated, “For the book? What do I owe you?”

Once she realized he was serious, she gave him a wince of a smile. Aymeric couldn’t help but wonder why there was a strange sort of sympathy in that smile.

“Enjoy it, and we’ll be square.” Serella reassured him.

“But what if he does not?” Haurchefant asked, all dramaticism and sweeping, gesticulating arms that managed to arrange themselves with a hand on his hip and an arm slung over her shoulder. “How ever shall he repay you?”

“Well, he needn’t at all. It misses the point of a gift!” She laughed brightly. “But if it would ease the Lord Commander’s guilt…” 

When she looked back at Aymeric, he swore his heart skipped at the playful twinkle found within her eyes. Had Haurchefant also been looking at her with what he could generously describe as a, “scheming bastard’s grin,” he might have forgotten what was being discussed at all in favor of watching her.

“A cup of tea in good company will do.” Serella finished her answer, and her smile widened ever so slightly.

It felt suddenly and unseasonably warm in the courtyard.

The spell was broken and he felt cold again at Hyana’s call from the foot of the stairs leading down to Foundation, as it tore her gaze from him. 

“Alright,” she called back, and threw the three of them another wincing, apologetic smile. “Forgive me, but duty calls.”

“As ever.” Estinien snorted. “Need you assistance?”

“We shouldn’t, thankfully, though rest assured I will contact you if that changes.”

Estinien gave a grunt and nodded, satisfied. 

She looked at Aymeric one last time, as if she wanted to say something else, but then her gaze darted between the three men, she nodded once, and with a simple, “Be well,” she was off down the stairs again.

Aymeric looked down at the book in his hands, and opened it to the first page— nearly letting the pressed lily there flutter away in the breeze for how unexpected it was. He managed to pin it down: a pale blue center with white petals— Halone’s Grace. A flower of immense sentiment to him. She remembered he’d mentioned that, too.

“I have yet to read it,” He called out before he could stop himself. When he turned to face her again, she had paused on the steps, pivoted to face him. “But if assures your return, I regret to inform you ‘tis awful.”

After the momentary shock morphed into another of those dazzling smiles of hers, she called back, “A cup of tea in good company, then, upon my return!”

It had not registered that he had been grinning, ears perked up, as he watched her go until he realized Haurchefant was watching him. He averted his eyes from both Estinien and the damnably observant knight. He cleared his throat behind his hand ears pinned back in humiliation.

“Well, well.” Estinien was the first to speak. “She seems…”

“Shut—”

“Nice.” Haurchefant finished the sentence for him, grinning like the cat that got the cream.

Aymeric hoped the flush that pooled to the tips of his ears would be attributed to the spiteful glare he threw at his friends and not the way his heart fluttered in his chest. Hoped, but was ultimately a realist.