#critic gives good reviews for money

[floral-hex]

had been thinking about seeing the new Ant-Man when it came out, ya know, on one of the discount days bc movie tickets are pricey these days. I mean, it looked right up my alley; alternate dimensions, timeline fuckery, cool visuals, Jonathan Majors ripped as hell. Buuuuut I saw some spoilers, some shitty cellphone footage, read some reviews, ended up caving and reading the plot online… so anyway, I decided to spend that money on a jug of soy sauce and bag of jalapeños, and I think that’s a fair alternative.

[writingbuckets]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞: 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐢

paige bueckers x influencer!reader

wc: 1.7k

a/n: thanks so much for the kind messages on part 1! enjoy <3

You can feel the energy in the arena even from the parking lot. Fans are buzzing, and you catch glimpses of them sporting jerseys and waving signs in support of Paige and her teammates. There’s a spark of excitement mixed with nerves in your stomach as you make your way to the courtside seats Paige promised.

You glance down at the ticket she sent you through DM with a wry smile. It’s a little surreal, actually being here. The back-and-forth messages with Paige left you curious and maybe a little too interested in seeing her play. Overrated, you’d said. Well, tonight she’d get the chance to prove you wrong.

As you settle into your seat, you text Taylor to let her know you’ve arrived. She’s responds in caps “EXCITED FOR YOU”, sending laughing emojis and a “TRY NOT TO FALL IN LOVE, Y/N.”

In the locker room, Paige’s teammates are already in pre-game mode, stretching and reviewing plays, but Azzi catches sight of Paige checking her phone for the third time in five minutes. She grins knowingly, nudging Jana beside her.

“Okay, what’s up with you?” Azzi asks Paige with a teasing tone. “You’ve got that look.”

Paige pretends not to know what she’s talking about, tucking her phone away with a smirk. “What look?”

“Don’t play coy. This is a new level of focus even for you,” Jana chimes in, eyeing her with mock seriousness. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with your biggest critic being courtside tonight, would it?”

Paige rolls her eyes but can’t hide the grin tugging at the corner of her mouth. “Just trying to make sure she gets her money’s worth,” she says with a shrug. “Not every day you get a ‘critique’ from someone who’s never even seen you play live.”

KK, who’s been stretching nearby, perks up, catching the last part of the conversation. “Wait, is this the podcaster?” She laughs, sitting up and pointing at Paige. “The one who called you overrated? Oh, this is too good.”

“Yeah, we’ve been talking a little,” Paige admits, trying to sound casual but clearly enjoying the reaction from her friends.

Morgan snickers. “Talking, huh? I don’t think she meant that comment as an invitation, Paige.”

Paige gives a mock glare. “Please. She’s practically begging to be impressed.”

Aubrey chuckles, crossing her arms. “Just don’t get too distracted out there, superstar. She might be here to see you crash and burn.”

Paige laughs and waves them off, but there’s an undeniable confidence in her tone. “Oh, trust me. She’s not ready for what she’s about to see.”

**********

You watch the team make their entrance, the crowd roaring as each player is introduced. When Paige is called, the noise is almost deafening, and you find yourself instinctively clapping along, even as you try to stay cool.

Finally, the game starts. Within moments, it’s clear why Paige has all the attention. She commands the court with ease, weaving around defenders with a blend of grace and intensity that makes it hard to look away. Every shot, every pass—it’s like she’s putting on a show, and with each move, she glances your way, her gaze almost daring you to look impressed.

You catch her eye after she lands a particularly smooth three-pointer, and she gives a slight smirk, as if to say, Not bad, huh?

You raise an eyebrow, mouthing back, “Still not impressed.”

In response, she grins and picks up her pace, dominating every play with a flair that seems designed to taunt you. The more you watch, the more you find yourself pulled into the game, barely noticing the time passing. But every so often, her eyes find yours, and it’s like the entire arena fades away for just a moment.

The final buzzer sounds, and Paige’s team wins by a comfortable margin. As the players cool down and talk to the press, she sends a quick look in your direction, clearly reveling in her victory. She approaches the sidelines, her teammates trailing behind and giving her little nudges and knowing looks.

Azzi shoots you a cheeky grin as she passes. “Hey, thanks for coming. Glad Paige had her own personal cheerleader tonight.”

Jana adds with a laugh, “More like underrated, huh?”

Before you can respond, Paige strides up, wiping sweat from her brow and grinning with that signature self-assurance.

“So?” she says, folding her arms and looking at you expectantly. “Any thoughts from my favorite hater?”

You keep your expression neutral, even as your pulse quickens under her direct gaze. “Not bad. You almost looked like you knew what you were doing out there.”

She laughs, shaking her head. “Almost? That’s high praise coming from you.”

You shrug, tilting your head thoughtfully. “Guess I’ll have to watch a few more games to make sure it wasn’t a fluke.”

Her eyes light up at that. “Oh, so you’re coming back?”

“Only if you keep up that level of play,” you reply, not missing a beat. “I’d hate to waste my time.”

Her teammates are still hovering nearby, soaking up the banter with matching grins.

KK gives Paige a nudge. “Careful, Bueckers. I think she’s starting to like you.”

“Wouldn’t be the first,” Paige quips, giving you a sidelong glance. “Some people just need a little convincing.”

You raise an eyebrow, leaning forward slightly. “You think you’ve convinced me?”

“Not yet,” she admits, a teasing challenge in her eyes. “But I think I’m close.”

You can’t help but laugh, enjoying the back-and-forth more than you’d like to admit. She’s good at this—smooth, confident, and annoyingly charming. And the way she keeps looking at you, with that mix of amusement and intrigue, makes it harder to stick to your original opinion.

As the conversation winds down, you start to think about heading out. But before you can make a move, Paige’s voice cuts through your thoughts.

“So, a few of us are grabbing food to celebrate,” she says casually, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. “You should come. Unless, of course, you have better things to do?”

Her eyes are challenging, and you can feel her teammates watching you, clearly curious to see what you’ll say. Part of you wants to play it cool, brush it off, but there’s a bigger part that’s intrigued, drawn to the idea of spending more time with her.

“Why not?” you reply, keeping your tone light. “Could be interesting.”

She grins, giving her teammates a triumphant look before gesturing for you to follow.

The group heads to a local spot where they’re regulars, filling up a large booth with laughter and chatter. You find yourself seated next to Paige, who’s now relaxed and fully in her element, her focus entirely on you.

“So, tell me,” she says, leaning in as she sips her drink. “What made you think I wasn’t as good as people say?”

You shrug, pretending to think hard. “I think some players need to be humbled sometimes. Keeps things balanced.”

“Oh, really?” She smirks. “So you’re, like, the self-appointed hype police?”

“If that’s what it takes.” You give her a challenging look. “And, judging by your performance, I think you’re taking my job pretty seriously.”

She laughs, shaking her head. “Maybe I just like proving people wrong.”

Aubrey, who’s overheard, chimes in with a grin. “Yeah, Paige is kind of a show-off when it comes to impressing people.”

Paige rolls her eyes, but she’s clearly enjoying the attention. “Hey, I like a challenge.”

You lean back, folding your arms as you meet her gaze. “Good to know. Might have to challenge you more often, then.”

The night goes on, filled with jokes, teasing, and the undeniable chemistry simmering between you and Paige. Her teammates keep throwing her looks, nudging her when she gets too obvious with her attention, but she brushes them off with ease.

By the end of the night, you’re more than a little curious about where this dynamic might lead. Paige, it turns out, isn’t just an incredible player—she’s clever, competitive, and, as much as you hate to admit it, a lot of fun to be around.

As you say your goodbyes and head out, she catches your arm, pulling you back for one last exchange.

“So,” she murmurs, her voice low, “can I ask for your opinion on me now?”

You meet her gaze, a slow smile spreading across your face. “ I’ll tell you when you make an appearance on the show.”

She laughs, nodding as she steps back. “You can count on it.”

You linger a moment, savoring the playfulness in her tone and the easy confidence in her smile. Her teammates start calling her over, and you see her hesitate, glancing between you and her friends. It’s almost as if she’s weighing her next move, and the idea that Paige Bueckers might actually be a little reluctant to end the night brings a grin to your face.

“Better go before they start making up embarrassing stories about you,” you say with a nod toward her friends, who are watching the two of you with unabashed interest.

She chuckles, eyes glinting with something mischievous. “Don’t worry, they don’t have any dirt on me… yet.”

“Oh, so you’re planning on giving them some?” you shoot back.

Paige tilts her head thoughtfully. “Only if it’s worth it.” Her voice is low, suggestive, and you can’t ignore the electric undertone beneath her words. She glances toward the exit, then back at you, taking a small step closer. “But, you know… I wouldn’t mind getting to know my ‘biggest hater” a little better.”

Her words hang in the air, and you feel your pulse quicken. There’s a part of you that wants to keep this light, play it cool, but another part—a part you’re not fully ready to admit yet—is undeniably intrigued by her invitation.

With a playful smile, you shrug. “Maybe you’ll earn that chance. If you’re lucky.”

Her laughter rings out, bright and clear. “I think I make my own luck.”

You offer her a mock salute. “We’ll see about that, superstar.”

As you turn to leave, you feel her gaze on you, lingering, as though she’s already planning her next move. And as you step out of the restaurant, the night air feels different—charged with possibility. You’ve seen a side of Paige that few get to see, and it’s clear this game of wit and challenge between you isn’t over yet.

But for now, you head home, wondering what exactly you’ve gotten yourself into.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Conspiratorialism as a material phenomenon

I'll be in TUCSON, AZ from November 8-10: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

I think it behooves us to be a little skeptical of stories about AI driving people to believe wrong things and commit ugly actions. Not that I like the AI slop that is filling up our social media, but when we look at the ways that AI is harming us, slop is pretty low on the list.

The real AI harms come from the actual things that AI companies sell AI to do. There's the AI gun-detector gadgets that the credulous Mayor Eric Adams put in NYC subways, which led to 2,749 invasive searches and turned up zero guns:

https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/nycs-subway-weapons-detector-pilot-program-ends/

Any time AI is used to predict crime – predictive policing, bail determinations, Child Protective Services red flags – they magnify the biases already present in these systems, and, even worse, they give this bias the veneer of scientific neutrality. This process is called "empiricism-washing," and you know you're experiencing it when you hear some variation on "it's just math, math can't be racist":

https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/23/cryptocidal-maniacs/#phrenology

When AI is used to replace customer service representatives, it systematically defrauds customers, while providing an "accountability sink" that allows the company to disclaim responsibility for the thefts:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/23/maximal-plausibility/#reverse-centaurs

When AI is used to perform high-velocity "decision support" that is supposed to inform a "human in the loop," it quickly overwhelms its human overseer, who takes on the role of "moral crumple zone," pressing the "OK" button as fast as they can. This is bad enough when the sacrificial victim is a human overseeing, say, proctoring software that accuses remote students of cheating on their tests:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/16/unauthorized-paper/#cheating-anticheat

But it's potentially lethal when the AI is a transcription engine that doctors have to use to feed notes to a data-hungry electronic health record system that is optimized to commit health insurance fraud by seeking out pretenses to "upcode" a patient's treatment. Those AIs are prone to inventing things the doctor never said, inserting them into the record that the doctor is supposed to review, but remember, the only reason the AI is there at all is that the doctor is being asked to do so much paperwork that they don't have time to treat their patients:

https://apnews.com/article/ai-artificial-intelligence-health-business-90020cdf5fa16c79ca2e5b6c4c9bbb14

My point is that "worrying about AI" is a zero-sum game. When we train our fire on the stuff that isn't important to the AI stock swindlers' business-plans (like creating AI slop), we should remember that the AI companies could halt all of that activity and not lose a dime in revenue. By contrast, when we focus on AI applications that do the most direct harm – policing, health, security, customer service – we also focus on the AI applications that make the most money and drive the most investment.

AI hasn't attracted hundreds of billions in investment capital because investors love AI slop. All the money pouring into the system – from investors, from customers, from easily gulled big-city mayors – is chasing things that AI is objectively very bad at and those things also cause much more harm than AI slop. If you want to be a good AI critic, you should devote the majority of your focus to these applications. Sure, they're not as visually arresting, but discrediting them is financially arresting, and that's what really matters.

All that said: AI slop is real, there is a lot of it, and just because it doesn't warrant priority over the stuff AI companies actually sell, it still has cultural significance and is worth considering.

AI slop has turned Facebook into an anaerobic lagoon of botshit, just the laziest, grossest engagement bait, much of it the product of rise-and-grind spammers who avidly consume get rich quick "courses" and then churn out a torrent of "shrimp Jesus" and fake chainsaw sculptures:

https://www.404media.co/email/1cdf7620-2e2f-4450-9cd9-e041f4f0c27f/

For poor engagement farmers in the global south chasing the fractional pennies that Facebook shells out for successful clickbait, the actual content of the slop is beside the point. These spammers aren't necessarily tuned into the psyche of the wealthy-world Facebook users who represent Meta's top monetization subjects. They're just trying everything and doubling down on anything that moves the needle, A/B splitting their way into weird, hyper-optimized, grotesque crap:

https://www.404media.co/facebook-is-being-overrun-with-stolen-ai-generated-images-that-people-think-are-real/

In other words, Facebook's AI spammers are laying out a banquet of arbitrary possibilities, like the letters on a Ouija board, and the Facebook users' clicks and engagement are a collective ideomotor response, moving the algorithm's planchette to the options that tug hardest at our collective delights (or, more often, disgusts).

So, rather than thinking of AI spammers as creating the ideological and aesthetic trends that drive millions of confused Facebook users into condemning, praising, and arguing about surreal botshit, it's more true to say that spammers are discovering these trends within their subjects' collective yearnings and terrors, and then refining them by exploring endlessly ramified variations in search of unsuspected niches.

(If you know anything about AI, this may remind you of something: a Generative Adversarial Network, in which one bot creates variations on a theme, and another bot ranks how closely the variations approach some ideal. In this case, the spammers are the generators and the Facebook users they evince reactions from are the discriminators)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generative_adversarial_network

I got to thinking about this today while reading User Mag, Taylor Lorenz's superb newsletter, and her reporting on a new AI slop trend, "My neighbor’s ridiculous reason for egging my car":

https://www.usermag.co/p/my-neighbors-ridiculous-reason-for

The "egging my car" slop consists of endless variations on a story in which the poster (generally a figure of sympathy, canonically a single mother of newborn twins) complains that her awful neighbor threw dozens of eggs at her car to punish her for parking in a way that blocked his elaborate Hallowe'en display. The text is accompanied by an AI-generated image showing a modest family car that has been absolutely plastered with broken eggs, dozens upon dozens of them.

According to Lorenz, variations on this slop are topping very large Facebook discussion forums totalling millions of users, like "Movie Character…,USA Story, Volleyball Women, Top Trends, Love Style, and God Bless." These posts link to SEO sites laden with programmatic advertising.

The funnel goes:

i. Create outrage and hence broad reach;

ii, A small percentage of those who see the post will click through to the SEO site;

iii. A small fraction of those users will click a low-quality ad;

iv. The ad will pay homeopathic sub-pennies to the spammer.

The revenue per user on this kind of scam is next to nothing, so it only works if it can get very broad reach, which is why the spam is so designed for engagement maximization. The more discussion a post generates, the more users Facebook recommends it to.

These are very effective engagement bait. Almost all AI slop gets some free engagement in the form of arguments between users who don't know they're commenting an AI scam and people hectoring them for falling for the scam. This is like the free square in the middle of a bingo card.

Beyond that, there's multivalent outrage: some users are furious about food wastage; others about the poor, victimized "mother" (some users are furious about both). Not only do users get to voice their fury at both of these imaginary sins, they can also argue with one another about whether, say, food wastage even matters when compared to the petty-minded aggression of the "perpetrator." These discussions also offer lots of opportunity for violent fantasies about the bad guy getting a comeuppance, offers to travel to the imaginary AI-generated suburb to dole out a beating, etc. All in all, the spammers behind this tedious fiction have really figured out how to rope in all kinds of users' attention.

Of course, the spammers don't get much from this. There isn't such a thing as an "attention economy." You can't use attention as a unit of account, a medium of exchange or a store of value. Attention – like everything else that you can't build an economy upon, such as cryptocurrency – must be converted to money before it has economic significance. Hence that tooth-achingly trite high-tech neologism, "monetization."

The monetization of attention is very poor, but AI is heavily subsidized or even free (for now), so the largest venture capital and private equity funds in the world are spending billions in public pension money and rich peoples' savings into CO2 plumes, GPUs, and botshit so that a bunch of hustle-culture weirdos in the Pacific Rim can make a few dollars by tricking people into clicking through engagement bait slop – twice.

The slop isn't the point of this, but the slop does have the useful function of making the collective ideomotor response visible and thus providing a peek into our hopes and fears. What does the "egging my car" slop say about the things that we're thinking about?

Lorenz cites Jamie Cohen, a media scholar at CUNY Queens, who points out that subtext of this slop is "fear and distrust in people about their neighbors." Cohen predicts that "the next trend, is going to be stranger and more violent.”

This feels right to me. The corollary of mistrusting your neighbors, of course, is trusting only yourself and your family. Or, as Margaret Thatcher liked to say, "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women and there are families."

We are living in the tail end of a 40 year experiment in structuring our world as though "there is no such thing as society." We've gutted our welfare net, shut down or privatized public services, all but abolished solidaristic institutions like unions.

This isn't mere aesthetics: an atomized society is far more hospitable to extreme wealth inequality than one in which we are all in it together. When your power comes from being a "wise consumer" who "votes with your wallet," then all you can do about the climate emergency is buy a different kind of car – you can't build the public transit system that will make cars obsolete.

When you "vote with your wallet" all you can do about animal cruelty and habitat loss is eat less meat. When you "vote with your wallet" all you can do about high drug prices is "shop around for a bargain." When you vote with your wallet, all you can do when your bank forecloses on your home is "choose your next lender more carefully."

Most importantly, when you vote with your wallet, you cast a ballot in an election that the people with the thickest wallets always win. No wonder those people have spent so long teaching us that we can't trust our neighbors, that there is no such thing as society, that we can't have nice things. That there is no alternative.

The commercial surveillance industry really wants you to believe that they're good at convincing people of things, because that's a good way to sell advertising. But claims of mind-control are pretty goddamned improbable – everyone who ever claimed to have managed the trick was lying, from Rasputin to MK-ULTRA:

https://pluralistic.net/HowToDestroySurveillanceCapitalism

Rather than seeing these platforms as convincing people of things, we should understand them as discovering and reinforcing the ideology that people have been driven to by material conditions. Platforms like Facebook show us to one another, let us form groups that can imperfectly fill in for the solidarity we're desperate for after 40 years of "no such thing as society."

The most interesting thing about "egging my car" slop is that it reveals that so many of us are convinced of two contradictory things: first, that everyone else is a monster who will turn on you for the pettiest of reasons; and second, that we're all the kind of people who would stick up for the victims of those monsters.

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/29/hobbesian-slop/#cui-bono

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[melefim]

Hey @netflix honestly how do you expect people to watch your shows and invest their time and money into you when EVERY SINGLE TIME you have something people love you just throw it away?

What’s the fucking point if a show with a 92/90 on Rotten Tomatoes and that’s made MULTIPLE Best Of lists isn’t even given a chance to grow?

Let’s look at some comparisons of a few other recent Netflix shows that got a second (or more) season, shall we? How are they stacking up on RT?

Stranger Things: 91/90

The Sandman: 88/80

Bridgerton: 84/74

Shadow & Bone: 83/84

Wednesday: 73/85

Locke & Key: 68/56

Avatar: The Last Airbender: 61/72

Fate: The Winx Saga: 45/82

So good reviews and critical acclaim won’t do it. Multiple weeks on your top 10 won’t do it, making the Nielsen top 10 won’t do it. Engagement from a devoted fan base won’t do it. I’m curious, what’s the metric here? Just because it wasn’t an instant runaway sensation, it’s not worth it to you? Is that what it takes?

Here’s a hot tip: if you want people to continue to pay for a subscription to your service, maybe give stuff a chance to grow. Maybe invest a bit of time into actually advertising a show before it premiers.

One of the most popular tweets about Dead Boy Detectives when it came out was someone saying they didn’t want to watch it because they didn’t trust you not to cancel it and break their hearts. There were THOUSANDS of people agreeing with it. Thousands of viewers, thousands of accounts you missed out on because people didn’t trust you. So how is this move going to help that?

How are you planning to get people to stick around when one of the best shows on your platform isn’t given a chance? How are you expecting them to ever give your shows a chance when you’re proving again and again that you can’t be trusted to follow through?

Dead Boy Detectives is a great show. It’s a quality product. The cinematography, the lighting, the sound design, the sets, the props, the COSTUMES. The scripts are good, the acting is great, the effects are believable. the cast and crew poured their hearts into it and you can see it on the screen. The characters are relatable and real. This is a show that is rewatchable. A show that is fun. A show that is entertaining. That has a good message, that deals with heavy topics with care and sensitivity. That’s got comedy and drama and horror and mystery. That’s got representation and diversity. That means something to people. Means A LOT to people. But that’s not important to you.

Dead Boy Detectives was THE reason I renewed my account. I watched it multiple times. (See how many magnifying glasses there are after my name up there? Fun fact: I added one every time I watched the full season.) I was even making a list of other shows and movies I was planning to check out. But that’s not happening any more, because I’m canceling my account as soon as this post is up. And I know I’m not the only one.

[dee-the-red-witch]

One more time, with FEELING? (April Pinned)

Now that we're past the first, let's do this. One. More. Time.

I'm Dee. Queer lesbian trans woman. Just she/her for the pronouns. Not your Responsible Adult, and while I'm safe for MY work, I'm self employed, my bitch of a boss gives zero fucks about adult content, and I believe in a healthy education. Kinky. Poly. Separated. Witch-adjacent. Occultist. Possibly cute/hot according to others. Sex and body positive. What do I do? Art- leatherwork, digital art, and these days, tattooing and tattoo flash. (Click that link for the goods. Tattoos, for locals only, by appointment, etc.)

Writing- One book (with accompanying tarot deck), two more in edits, several more in progress. Completely unscheduled film/tv reviews and weekly tarot spreads.

I'm also in the process of dealing with a massive work backlog, a life starting to fall apart in a few ways, a transition surgery I'm desperately trying to fund the expenses for, and, y'know, all the wonders of being transfem in late-stage capitalism in a christofascist country.

Yes, that's a lot. Welcome to my life.

Let's get the usuals out of the way. Tipping should be mandatory. Terfs, fash, bigots, can and should fuck off out of here. No, I will not tag NSFW or mature, because it ends up getting creators targeted half the time. And because if you're on here you can learn to consume media critically and censor your own damn experience without me doing it for you. Plastics suck, including your precious vegan leather. Land back. Do it alone. Do it weird. Do it scared. No I don't know what a jerma is, and do not tell me. Yes I do swear. A lot.

I love fantasy, horror, cassette futurism, cyberpunk, brutalism, and all sorts of stuff with it. You want my discord or server? Ask me for either. Yes, I still take voice recording requests, and yes, it's the only form of 'content' I do, though I absolutely support creators of other types like mad. You want to help out? Scroll back up and hit any of those links, or just throw money at me screen here.

Otherwise, that's it. Yes, my inbox and messages are still open for now.

[maddie-grove]

What do you think are some legitimate things (trends, author problems, etc) to criticize about in romance novels?

So, romance novels can be offensive in all the ways that fiction in general can be offensive, but, if I had to pick one thing that's pervasive yet fairly specific to the genre, it's the rigidity of gender roles in m/f romance. The hero is more often than not physically bigger, older, richer, and (especially in historical romance) higher-class than the heroine, and, when he doesn't have the advantage in every category, the narrative frequently (a) makes him even more powerful in the areas where he does have the advantage (i.e., she may be more aristocratic but he's very, very rich and he's friends with aristocrats now and he's big and strong and blah blah blah) or (b) is super-self-conscious about the dude being less powerful in some ways (i.e., over-explaining why he's still worthy as a partner and/or isn't put off by the heroine being taller or older or richer). I think this is sometimes a trend that comes from the top (I remember Courtney Milan saying something about getting flak for not making a hero a duke back in the early 2010s, even though he was still a confident, good-looking gentleman with money) and sometimes one that comes from readers (there was a romance review blog that I lost patience with because the reviewer couldn't relate to tall heroines). Plus, when the heroine does have more power in some way, it's usually not by a lot; like, it would be totally unremarkable if the genders were reversed. I remember reading a romance novella anthology specifically about older women/younger men, and I think only one novella had an age gap of ten or more years. (In one novella he was literally a day younger.) Meanwhile, how many historical romance novels have a twenty-year-old heroine and a thirty-year-old hero and it's treated like nothing?

On the more meta side: I think it's generally bad when authors have to spend a lot of time doing self-promotion on social media. That means less time to actually write and sometimes more self-consciousness because the book is kind of being written for people the author knows online. That's not exclusive to romance, but it is a genre largely written and read by women, and I think that results in a lot of pressure to be Nice (which includes not giving a negative opinion about a book).

I'm not a fan of the move towards "rom-com" contemporary romance, but that's largely because that's not my thing inherently. However, I do feel like many authors simultaneously want the hijinks of a romantic comedy and a romance that would be Healthy in Real Life. Which isn't impossible, but it takes more finesse than they usually have.

[adeleidetheexplorer]

ᰋ  ׅ࣪   ꒰  tarot x zodiac signs ♡︎ a tarot reader predicting what each zodiac should expect before september ends  ꒱  

your sun, moon and ascendant or any significant signs on your birthchart can be use for this reading. ૮ . . ྀིა⁩

• masterlist. • tarot commission.

aries - knight of cups.

you're gonna feel confident about yourself before this month ends perhaps you may attract a lot of secret admirers or suitors. there may be someone who is gonna confess their love for you heartily, if not, you can expect an invitation from someone who is special to your heart and start dating. this can be one of your lucky months as well in case of your career, opportunities and offers will be left and right. just make sure to be open in any blessings you may receive. you can find yourself productive, inspired and creative too, you may start writing such as books and songs or play your favorite instrument again.

taurus - nine of swords.

you can't avoid stress before this month ends. the headache and neck pain are the causes of stress you are experiencing right now or may experience in the next few days. it's either you may hurt someone else's feelings or someone might hurt you emotionally. on the lighter side, you may find yourself traveling in a peaceful peace especially beaches and nature environment this can give your mind to avoid excessive thinking about your love life and work. also, there's a significant dream that may haunt you for days. the dream seems so real, clear and detailed. there is maybe someone, who might try to spread some gossip about your so be wary about sharing your ideas and opinions to others, remember that not everyone can be trusted.

gemini - nine of pentacles.

you may find yourself being independent before this month ends. what i meant is "independent" is financial and personal growth development independency especially budgeting and saving money up for the future. you may also meet new people that can help you to enhance your knowledge. you may also treat yourself a lot like you may buy a lot of your comfort foods to satisfy yourself. at work and school, your boss sees who improve a lot and do good job for their professionalism while if you are student, your teachers sees your improvement.

cancer - seven of swords.

you're gonna receive criticism and bullying for the work you are doing from other people. don't let these people take you down emotionally, take an action and call out these people. you may experience some unfairness and betrayal from people who are close to you. be careful about spending or investing your money as you may get scammed. you may also feel unworthy and insecure before this month ends which lead to low self esteem. argument with someone is coming too. there's also someone here who is stalking your account and keeping you on their tabs.

leo - the hermit.

if you are trying to enhance your spirituality there are changes and improvements about your spiritual self. you were also taking a break and cutting people off that drain your energy so much. you may also find yourself isolating yourself away from the others, you gonna what makes you happy. you may also be planning to take a break on social media before this month ends. if you are student, you gonna find yourself studying and reviewing really hard for the upcoming examination or test.

virgo - king of swords.

a father figure is gonna be significant to you before this month ends. you're gonna end up getting some good advice from this person or if not, someone else/a friend may need your logical advice. you may meet new people and these people may perceived you as someone mature, brilliant and intimidating.

libra - five of pentacles.

you might face some difficulty with your finances, it seems like you will get short in budgeting. while, when you are surrounded by your loved ones or the people who are close to you, you may feel unloved and unappreciated by them. as well as you may think that no one wants to be your lover or partner, yes you may meet new people but you may find it hard to find a best partner to meet your expectations when it comes to love so you think no one loves you. heavy rains may come so make sure to bring your own umbrella and jacket.

scorpio - strength.

you will be shocked by the influence you leave to people and in simple terms someone may try to tell the truth to you. this truth may be the one you are looking for answers for a very long time or you are waiting for this person to tell you the truth. you wouldn't believe too how much people think high of you. also, there maybe someone here is about to whammy your single life.

sagittarius - temperance.

great news for those single people, someone here is ready to fill your cup up. if you are worried about your health, spirit confirms that you are totally fine perhaps you may be trying to be healed for a very long time on a spiritual level because everything may be f*cked up on your spirituality. you may frequently sees the angel number 555 before this month ends.

aquarius - two of wands.

you might start doing a skincare routine before this month ends so keep on doing or continuing that. people may start to notice your glow up or changes in your appearance, you may also try mew hairstyle or in general dying your hair. people will notice the significant changes in your appearance, i also think that you will experimenting new ideas about your physical. a travel for job is significant too.

pisces - knight of wands.

before this month ends, you may be trying or planning to move to a new home or places. this changes the location and is gonna bring good freedom to you. you will feel very happy about its surroundings. a short trip will bring bliss and peace into your heart. there are more exciting events happening to you before this month ends. yellow, brown or orange is your significant color for this month theme.

© thecelestialperiwinkle

[uyuforu]

Jungkook's Natal Chart: Virgo Mercury 8H, 7°

₊ ⊹ ALLEGEDLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY₊ ⊹

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Mercury is a planet that will represent our communication style, our voice, how we express ourselves, what we think about and talk about the most, how our minds work, etc.

Mercury in Virgo

JK's Mercury is in Virgo, which means he can be quite smart in general. Even if it’s a different kind of smart, he can just be smart even in his own way. Or you could feel like he is quite smart even academically. That means if JK has a strong interest in something, he will usually have less hard times to study it or learn it. Mercury being in his 8H with Virgo placement makes him want to know EVERYTHING about subjects he loves. Usually, those people can love animals and plants, but also nature. JK can love to organize and can need it when he works or studies, because he could work better this way. He can usually even like to organize everything in his life, because it can even help him to memorize things. So anything unpredictable or anything (or anyone) that is chaining in his habits and organization can be quite stressful for him. JK can be quite logical in general, or he could just act and speak in a very logical way, and he could come off as cold or detached sometimes. He is good at analyzing people as well, so he can usually read people well. He wants to be seen as smart and he always want to learn more because he wants to improve about his knowledge. Usually, those people love to each compliments about how smart they are. He also likes to correct people when they are wrong. Though he usually isn't good at taking criticism because he feels like he isn't good enough, and he should have known. We can often see that how JK can even often be his worst critic, always thinking he is never doing good enough. He often self criticizes and he can put some pressure on himself often. 

Mercury 8H

Mercury in the 8H here makes JK's mind more deep than what we can think. I see often people saying JK can't lie, though this placement suggest JK is actually very good at keeping secrets. I am not saying he is a liar, but he just knows what to say and what to not say. He is def smart, and he is smarter than what people give him credit for. JK may actually enjoys people not exactly knowing him, he may be quite secretive. Mercury in 8H are very focused people; they are quite quiet with people they don’t know. If there are things they don’t want to reveal or talk about, forget about it because you will never know, like ever. JK doesn't like change much. He is def cold and will actually never talk to someone he hates. He can also be quite shy and won't talk much if there is someone he doesn't know. But he is very nice and generous with the people he loves. No fake with him, he will say things directly and be blunt. If he argues, he can indeed be aggressive with his words and the way he says things. He is collected and calm, knows how to translate his emotions in a logical and understandable way. JK could have a hard time with writing his emotions, or just translating his emotions with words. He can feel it's hard to express those, but easy to feel. So Art can actually help JK a lot on this. JK may care a lot about what he has and possesses, and he may talk about it often. This can also be a placement that can seem materialistic, but it’s important to talk about those things for JK. He can be very good at negotiating, and He handles money pretty well. Jungkook doesn’t speak for nothing, he will only share his ideas and thoughts if he does have some. He won’t make conversations if he doesn’t want to. 

Mercury 7°

Mercury in 7°, a Libra degree, makes Jungkook very easy going, nice and very charming in the way he speaks. He speaks with a light voice a tone that is charming and melodious. He is someone very polite and hates rudeness, but also injustice. So, he will always try his best to speak in the fairest way and the nicest way possible. So even when someone is rude to him, he will try to “kill them with kindness”. He is the kind of person to love to listen to people. Also, he is very good with words, and how he uses those. He wants to make sure whatever he talks about will be pleasant for the other person, but that the way he speaks will not hurt a soul or not hurt anyone in this case. In the end, he is making sure that the conversation he has and how he talks will never cause an argument. 

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[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/758964492351799296/ httpsolderthannetfictumblrcompost75863697332#notes

preface, I'm not arguing about the current ongoing war situation. I only mentioned war so that people who filter out the word have their filters catch it. I'm also only commenting on XJZs behavior on the basis of using that kinda language. One bigger incident I've seen of XJZhao getting a massive wave of criticism was using "blood libel" against a Jewish follower, when they said they wouldn't buy their next book. XJZhao: "I don't want your blood money." Once again, think what you may of the current situation, or if you're on either the person's or XJZhaos side.

All that said, using a stereotype or a racist slur against someone because you feel they (as an individual) are an appropriate target is not ok. You don't get to replicate racist, discriminating, hateful and damaging words, phrases or stereotypes which attack an entire group, just because you're mad at one specific person, and then pretend it doesn't affect an entire group of people. No not even if you're POC, you don't need to be a armband wearing moron or a white hood cross burning swine to be sit at that particular kinda table.

If you're angry at a black person and use the N-word. If you're angry at a single queer person and use the F-word. You catch my drift, that's unacceptable, and would immediately get you labelled, and rightfully so, a racist, or queerphobe. Before anyone pulls that maybe they didn't know card, if someone unknowingly says something racist or queerphobic, do we just give them as pass, or do we call these people out? We still criticise people who use racist stereotypes, even if they didn't know, because this stuff should be called out regardless. Apparently that caused quite a stir, especially completely unrelated Jewish followers. Even those that are neutral/non-political or even on XJZhao's side. 👁👁

And obviously their ongoing beef with random people who criticize their online presence. XJZhao's main tool has been making tiktoks, and insta posts where they take screenshots and post the full online name and clearly invite their followers to harass them, or even tell them to blacklist and find people related to the target. Even sending their followers after someone who basically repeated exactly what XJZhao said themselves, that they missed deadlines and started fighting with their publisher. Just that they also pointed out how much leeway XJZhao was given compared to what's normal, and was still complaining. 🐧

Some of their tiktoks against the criticisms have also been just been very petulant. This one I relate to a bit lol 🤔 Such as the tiktok/yt short where they tell everyone who criticised or commented on the very blatant Darling in the Franxx story beats that "Akshually, the makers of DitF said I was all good." Yeah, that's fine, most people don't care about that though, they're commenting on how obvious the story elements were copied. It isn't always bad, many reviewers were neutral, some critical on how blatant it was. It doesn't matter if you got the green-light, it's still going to be something that might irk people because anyone who copies another story's story beats in such an identifiable way is gonna be called out at some point. That literally happened to every Hunger games, Twilight and HP clone. 🤷‍♀️

--

My dim memory is that XJZ literally said the initial plotbunny was a response to Darling in the Franxx in a youtube video long before the book came out. I think they should calm down and take some time away from toxic social media for their own good. (And yes, I do think they're acting antisemitic and getting a pass because online lefties often give people a pass for that when they wouldn't for other bigotry.) But I don't think it was any kind of secret that it's a blatant response to that series.

I haven't read the actual book. Does it come across as just a repeat? My impression was that it was supposed to be more of a critique/reaction.

[smoothestjazz]

Games criticism is dead, and it's no one's fault. Speaking as a former freelance game critic, here's the major issues I've noticed recently.

1. Reviewers tend to review based on how subjectively fun the game is, not the objective measures of what the game does for the genre, whether it innovates, does anything new, is well crafted, or perhaps most important: whether it achieves what it set out to do. A good critic should, in my opinion, weigh both subjective and objective factors when reviewing games. This is something the film critics have figured out, but not so with game critics.

This has led to, in my personal opinion, polished mediocrity being lauded, because it's "fun", even when the game is objectively doing nothing for games as a whole, or the gamer in any meaningful way.

2. Reviewers are afraid to give bad scores for two reasons. Firstly, they may personally know the developers (online or otherwise), or are at least in an accessible place for the developers to speak to. I can personally speak to developers speaking to me or about me twice when they didn't like what I said about the games in reviews.

Secondly, reviewers are afraid of public reaction to the review. Developers are still receiving death threats when their games don't meet audience expectations; likewise, a reviewer who isn't a fan of a popular game may also see harassment campaigns. These factors make it difficult for a reviewer to deliver a perhaps correctly earned 2/10.

3. Game reviewing and journalism publications are dying. They're being bought up by big corps, and many are being shut down. This has resulted in a laser focus on the games big sites will cover, and not more niche areas.

(To briefly tangent, I wrote for a wargaming site back in the day. The site did okay but wasn't massive. It was bought by a large gaming publication; soon, one of the few review/ journalism wargaming sites shifted focus from wargaming to Dungeons & Dragons, Magic the Gathering, and Pokemon guides. There are scant few sites that even review wargames left now, resulting in less "professional" articles being posted. Us freelancers don't have the money or necessarily the time to buy and write about the big games of the genre without a site to support us.)

The focus on AAA games by these sites lessens the breadth of what the sites will write about... and lead to less challenging writing about the games. Negative, thoughtful pieces of criticism don't generate clicks as much as guides do; this is a fact I was expressly told by my former editor. This being the case, it's not in big gaming sites' interest to write negatively about games they may be able to write guides for, which would generate more revenue.

In essence, I don't believe games journalism is in currently in a place to contribute anything to the medium. There are too many factors limiting the journalists themselves from being able to actually *criticize* what they're writing about. It is unsustainable in the long term, and I'm afraid the remaining serious review sites will be subsumed into the morass of guide-churning sites that masquerade as "journalism".

[mossy-green-aka-ferrythem]

I'm actually kind of done with Limbus Company mechanically speaking.

Got no incentive to return. Especially since the game has felt so frustrating to me recently in terms of how it's designed.

It feels like they're kind of designing it in a way that takes most of the fun out of it. Overpowered IDs, and a game that's rather solidly stuck to a meta doesn't do it for me. Sure you can win with other IDs, but those typically go under the label as "Challenge Runs".

Also like. It feels like they're going deeper into Gacha Hell. Even if it's like "Oh we need more money to do more things." It's like. I haven't seen that much that's that enticing to me. The Arknights crossover seems cool, but like. Sure Arknights seems thematically interesting but my friends have told me plenty about it and like. It's a gacha. It has problems.

Anyways, pretty early morning rant so not the most cohesive.

But like.

My big thing is that in my experience? Limbus Company fans will deflect ANY criticism of the game. Like. I don't hate Limbus Company. There really is a lot to love. But my god. The more I voice my frustrations with the game only to have them shot down, the more my discontent for this "game" grows. I feel like in a lot of cases, a story having a good ending can make people forgive shortcomings it can have. The shortcomings here being mostly gameplay oriented, which I will cover in my current review of it down below.

Also. I can't help that Limbus Company is getting dangerously close into a pay-to-win category. Eh. Sure you can contest me on this point but I think it's a bad thing where something you pay for in a F2P game gives you easier wins, with some truly powerful EGOs. Feels counterintuitive to a lot of practical game design.

I feel like a lot of the game can feel like that more and more even. Even more of the game feels designed around IDs that are the strongest of the strong, and I dislike the meta around strong units, since they are quite difficult to get, something you have to go out of your way for...

COMPARED TO LIBRARY OF RUINA WHEN THEY WERE JUST ORGANICALLY PART OF THE FUCKING GAMEPLAY!

Anyways I should wrap this up.

Very in-cohesive rant. Early in the morning. But. These feelings are my own.

I'll end if off with a review:

Lobotomy Corporation. A favorite of mine. Janky, obtuse, but so alluring in its design. So captivating, and so amazing. To slowly whittle away at it made me feel like an artist, like a woodcarver, slowly chipping away at a chunk of wood, until I have finished what I set out to do.

Library of Ruina. While I don't talk about it much, and have gotten bad at articulating it. This game means so fucking much to me. I love how there's so many weird strategies in this game that genuinely work in such a beautiful way. Even though this game has a sort of meta, I think it works in a satisfying and beautiful way, and when your entire deck is made up of those who exist at the apex of the City, it feels amazing. Truly amazing.

Limbus Company. In the past, while I don't do review scores, since I believe they're counterintuitive when it comes to making game critiques, I do give them sometimes. When I was still playing Limbus, I gave would give it a 7/10. A farcry from what I thought about LobCorp or Ruina. While I love the stories (even if I have some story based critiques here and there), the story is not enough to carry an experience that overall, is rather frustrating, and arduous. Many fights have polarizing clashes, where it is either just an easy slog you can do in your sleep, or is just simply, bullshit, with enemies that clash too high, and occasionally, negative coins, which punish you for like. Daring to actually engage with the mechanics in a way that make sense. It's like. If you're struggling with an enemy who's consistently clashing higher than you, your priority should be lowering the meter that makes them clash high. Enemies like Pequod Town villagers or Distorted Bamboo Hatted Kim completely destroy this philosophy. Just for an example. The big thing is, I have so, so many issues with Limbus Company that what would normally be a cohesive review quickly devolves into a rant about all the things I dislike about it.

What really gets me? A refusal for the game's fanbase to engage in actual criticism of the game. I mean look at their reaction to people leaving negative review scores on changes that, if I'm being honest, are changes I would consider bad. It's all about the "scary chinese players trying to hurt are hallowed project" rather than actually engaging in criticism of the game. Ugh. It's just. A lot. Issues with the game, that are reflected and exacerbated by the fanbase. Even people I hold in good regard as friends can be frustrating occasionally in this regard. Eh. It's just that. Yeah I love the characters and what not and love playing around with silly ideas for them, but playing with them feels more fun than playing the actual game itself.

As it stands, the review I would give Limbus Company, is a rare one where a numerical score reflects my emotions. 5/10. A glaring score of mediocrity, that only sours as the game continues to refuse to acknowledge or fix actual problems indicative to the game.

A game that builds it gameplay value out of obligation tied to upgrade materials and in-game currency, a game that is outcompeted by many other games with roguelike/turnbased gameplay in that department, so really, the only reason to play is an obligation for many people. An obligation that's not worth having.

[frutiylaris]

Warhammer 40K and 30K Masterlist (Update)

Hell again, this is an update to the warhammer youtuber masterlist that I previously created, it will focus on adding newer creators that were reviewed and checked. If you are confused, please consult the previous Masterlist post. Updated Scores: MajorKill 0/10 - Harassment, no matter the context or circumstance is not acceptable. I'd say do better but that discord and community he has is vile. A blight upon warhammer creators The Serpents Lodge [Removed] - After recent investigation, brought up with private concern from a blogger here. The lodge has been removed for their behaviour. New Creators added: Chaotic Voices 0/10 - Supporting harassment is frowned upon, no matter the context or circumstance. Live from the black library! 0/10 -I knew Chrono, at least by proxy, and whilst they were fine back then... information has been given to me that I cannot share showing me how horrible of a person they are. I'm sorry that your life is not great, but that is not a shield you can wield agaisnt criticism. Isyander & Koda 7/10 - Whilst there are minor errors here and there, probably one of the better "casual" sources of warhammer podcasts to get into. However, point deducted for giving community memes the time of day. Explaining Warhammer to my girlfriend 3/10 - I'm happy for them, I see them occasionally on the dash and the whole content idea works well for what they want from it, but you aren't a good source due to broad sweeping statements. Keep up the passion, though! Idiotic Synergy 5/10 - A wee bit cringe with the voice acting but good hearted and clearly enjoying himself, but please for the love of god stop with the femboy fulgrim jokes, it's not that funny. DreadAnon 0/10 - Thanks for the tutorial reminding me that Analog, delay and echo exist in Adobe Audition, but associating and spreading misinfo from the 'chudhammer' space is grounds for exilement. Adeptus Ridiculous 0/10 - I am biased against Bricky due to his networking with Vtubers, I despise Vtubers. However, this is judging a channels merits. The bookclub? A step in the right direction, but you've exposed yourself as an idiot for not reading ANY BOOKS. For someone who speaks so confidently and with gusto you sure are not qualfied to speak on anything except surface level stuff. But thats not my primary complaint, it is tertiary. My main complaint is that whenever the word 'female' or equvilant thereof it is nearly always in a sexual context and that rings alarm bells in my head. Also stop demeaning every fucking faction with those incessent perverted memes that wont DIE. I think devaluing the Tau only to sex jokes and gundam, as well as slaneesh, in relation to sex jokes, is terrible and has been a disaster for the wider lorespace and newer fans. Uncritically citing lexicanum, and at least, in one case plagerizing an entire page with only the barest of changes, HOWEVER! That may be a false positive on my end and as such will require further research for now it is [BEING INVESTIGATED] The shilling is also insane for videos, with ads, patreon, with an entire store page, you are giving Valrak a run for his polishing dorn's chainsword money. Unacceptable. Being a 'Lifelong' fan does not equate to you being qualified as you still get things wrong, at worse? Misleading, at best? Just marketing speak. Wolf Lord Rho & Valrak 0/10 - Guy's, I understand you are passionate, but stop the shilling, please. 40K Theories [Remleiz] 6/10 - Focused on speculation and Theories, I have barely anything bad or good to say. He exist, he does what he sets out to do. Arbitor Ian 5/10 - I have nothing bad or good to say about Ian, stop getting into fights would one of them because Ian is not cut out for the internet slap fights- buuuuut it seems he has stopped doing so, so good job. The Pontius 0/10 - No, female custodes are not some blackrock psyop meant to make warhammer woke and gay. The only thing you are doing is getting scared of shadows and believing lies.

GW is a company at the end of the day and I am not sorry that you think women as a whole are not allowed in the hobby. Boohoo, grow up. [Version 1.1 Update] If you have any suggestions, arguments or rebuttals, please comment and explain why to the best of your ability. That is all, thank you for your time.

[gabessquishytum]

Hob is the chef for the mob money laundering restaurant in his area. Because the restaurant isn't expected or required to turn a profit, Hob can cook what he wants and run the place mostly how he wants -- his liquor and meat suppliers are sketchy as hell and he has to be nice to all the "made" guys who come into the place, but mostly he's left alone to cook the food he wants.

Hob is a really good chef, but his restaurant concept was never going to be something that secured bank loans or conventional funding. Still his food and the chill vibe of the restaurant made it a hit with area locals and got him a lot of loyal repeat customers.

Into to this comes a food critic who writes up Hob's restaurant glowingly and whose review catches the eye of one of those fancy best restaurants in the world list/Michelin star judges who visits the restaurant and loves it, and puts it on the list.

Your choice:

1. Dream is the smitten judge - the food is so good, the chef is hot and fantastic, the restaurant deserves attention; Hob is chuffed and horrified! For Hob the recognition is wonderful and validating, but the restaurant is still a mob front and can't really handle the scrutiny, like at all.

OR

2. Dream is the mobster in charge of the territory containing Hob "restaurant" and when the restaurant is put on the best list/gets a Michelin star, Dream goes to see what should be done (torch the place 😉😉).

But Dream tastes the food and sees Hob being fantastic and welcoming; Dream realizes that he's going to have to clean up the "crime-y" aspect(s) of the business so that it can withstand the attention.

This is all absolutely incredible and I love both scenarios! But number 2 is tickling me so much. Hardened criminal mob boss Dream having to accept that he's accidently got a bona fide cooking genius on his hands, having to send in his men to "clean up" the restaurant - literally. If Hob is going to make this place a success, then the books are going to be in order, the ingredients are going to be paid for, the staff will get a good wage, and the health inspectors will have nothing to complain about.

Hob comes to Dream and apologises for causing trouble. He didn't mean to draw attention to Dream’s "business ventures". Dream assures him that its ok, he's decided to let him live. As long as he keeps a table free for Dream whenever he wants it.

And Dream ends up coming in every night (when he's not busy criming) for the pleasure of Hob’s company, and the nice food. He's a lot less grumpy and menacing when he's been properly fed, and Hob kinda forgets to be scared of him? Then one time Dream shows up with a massive bullet graze in his shoulder and Hob has to give him first aid in the kitchen. After it's done they sit on the floor and eat together, and when Dream falls asleep Hob carefully carries him upstairs to the flat above the restaurant.

There's a mob boss in his bed, pale and sleep-soft and the worst of it all is that Hob wants to keep him there, safe. If only he could.

[seeingivy]

the ensemble cast

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting fic, masterlist here

content: eren being possessive for no reason, cherry + coke slushies, reader gets criticized online, good old teasing, reader mentions feeling anxious/having anxiety

an: lalalalalallalala lights camera action babes pls enjoy :D

previous part linked here

--

The set that Attack on Titan is filming on was originally from a previously scrapped project. Three weeks ago, when you and Eren first moved in, the two of you had pilfered from the leftover set dressings and props to see what you could find. 

That’s where you find the tandem bike. The breaks don’t work that well, and the seat in the back is really uncomfortable, but it works well for you and Eren’s purposes, which is running away from set on lunch breaks to get slushies at the convenience store two blocks down. 

As Hange said, you and Eren wouldn’t really have to do any method acting to become best friends. He’s literally the only other person on set besides Levi and Hange, who are usually too busy workshopping the set and the scripts to talk to you.

You guys eat breakfast together, go to class, and spend hours talking at night when you’re both too bored to do anything else. 

You’re both leaning against the bike, two straws poked into the extra large slushie that you and Eren got. The cashier, Michael, gives you guys the slushie for free, but only one since he’s “not made of money.” 

Hence, sharing. You guys always split the slushie in half - the right side is Coke for you, and the left is Cherry for Eren. It always swirls together halfway through when it starts melting, which is when you and Eren start playing with the straws - smacking yours into Eren’s and vice versa. 

“Do you think it’ll be weird when everyone comes tomorrow, Eren?” 

“Maybe a little bit. There’s a lot of them coming. And we’re used to having the place to ourselves.” 

Tomorrow is the first official day of filming. 

You and Eren have been filming scenes for the past three weeks. But tomorrow, the rest of the ensemble cast arrives, and you start really filming. And you can’t even lie - some part of the entire ordeal fills you up with anxiety. 

Because the rest of the cast knows know each other already. Because they’re better actors than you. Because you’re kind of a fraud. 

Eren mentioned that most of the people on the ensemble cast were great people because they were part of his class when he went to the SHWA. Meaning he already knew them. Meaning they all knew each other - that they had spent two years going to boarding school together and socializing within the same cohort. 

Eren has already co-starred with Mikasa, and he and Jean used to do cameos on a different show together. He used to room with Reiner when he lived at the SHWA, and they’re all still really close. 

Eren said it was kind of like a cult at times, how the industry seemed to function in that way. You just think he’s trying to make you feel better for being the sore thumb of the group. 

But even beyond just meeting the cast, this entire week is a big deal. The ensemble cast is supposed to attend a panel that WIT hosts every year to answer questions and play the teaser trailer. Hange and Levi are panicking because first impressions can mean everything to a start-up show like this. 

Eren tells you that there’s really big advertising company called the Elms that posts reviews of shows before they come out. They have no connections in the fields since they’re advertisers, but their opinions and reviews are basically written law once posted. 

They’re the industry equivalent of a Michelin Star.

That’s why the pressure is on for this week - for the cast to get along, for us to finish filming and taking pictures for the promo, and to do great at the panel at the end of the week. 

There’s so much to mess up you can’t even fixate on what to worry abo-

“Y/N. Stop it.” 

You look over to find Eren glaring at you, shuffling his straw through the bottom of the ice at the cup. His lips and tongue are tinted pink from the drink, his expression annoyed. 

“Stop what?” 

“Thinking so hard. They’ll all like you, even if you didn’t go to SHWA.” 

“I don’t know. I feel like you’ll all have inside jokes without me or something and leave me out. I don’t want to feel like a loser.” 

He takes the cup from your hand, now empty, and swishes it into the trash can a few feet away from you. And then his ice-cold hand is in yours, squeezing. 

You learn quickly that Eren isn’t the best with his words, but he’s always touching you in some way when a situation like this arises. He squeezed your shoulder when you forgot to bring your harness to set, delaying the entire crew for twenty minutes. And when you didn’t do so well on the French test you had last week, he put his hand in your hair but didn’t really say anything. 

If it were anyone else, it wouldn’t work. But it’s Eren, and for some reason, it just does. It’s almost comforting now that you can rely on his hands to be on yours whenever you feel awkward. 

“You’re not a loser, Y/N. And if someone thinks you’re a loser, I’ll just tell them they’re wrong about you.” 

“Okay.” 

“Plus. When they see us act, they’ll change their minds. You’re electric on the screen.” 

Eren yanks the tandem bike off of the stand and pulls you up by the hand, the two of you lazily biking back to set. You try to ignore Eren’s comment and how it makes your entire body buzz. 

- 

You and Eren make ramen every morning. Because Levi said that the first time he did, it was a one-time occurrence, and he can’t feed you guys daily. He leaves out all the stuff for you, even going as far as cutting up all the vegetables that you like to put in your bowl. 

“Eren.”

“Hm.” 

“Try to catch the extra carrots in your mouth.” 

You’re both playing the game a little bit too competitively as you start racing around the kitchen, trying to throw them so far that you both have to chase after them. And when Eren throws it all the way into the foyer, you go running. 

That’s when you bump into him. 

There’s a guy in the walkway who you accidentally knock into the ground from running so fast. He has short brown hair, the strands closer to his hair darker. And now that you’ve fallen on top of him, his hands are secured around your waist, both of your cheeks burning red. 

You quickly scramble off, awkwardly running your hands through your hair. 

“S-sorry. Me and Eren were playing a game.” 

“No problem. I’m Jean.” 

“Y/N.” 

He smiles, his eyes glinting at you. 

“Jean.” 

“You said that already,” Eren grumbles from the kitchen. 

You can see Jean’s cheeks burning red as the rest of them pile into the room, the quiet house suddenly bustling loud. You can’t help but get overstimulated by everyone you’re meeting, trying your best to remember names - Armin, Sasha, Bertholdt, Annie, Connie, Reiner - as they all start milling around the kitchen, sitting at the table. 

“So, when are we eating?” 

“Sasha shut the fuck up. All you’re worried about is eating.” Connie responds, smacking her across the forehead. 

You walk over to the side of the table, tapping Sasha on the shoulder. 

“They’re catering since you all flew in. They should be here in twenty minutes.” 

She gives you a gleaming smile, returning to arguing with Connie. You can feel a hand tugging on your wrist, the guy from earlier yanking on your arm. 

“So if they’re catering, why are you making ramen?” he asks, his cheeks pressed in his palms.

“Ah. Eren and I are kind of in the habit of making it. We kind of forgot they were supposed to cater today.” 

“Well, it smells really good.” 

“Did you want it, Jean? I don’t mind because Eren and I kind of ate before.” 

“Oh, no. I couldn’t-” 

You march over to the kitchen, where your steaming bowl of food is, much to Eren’s dismay, and return to place it in front of Jean. And when you return to the kitchen, you watch chaos ensue.

Connie and Sasha claim that Jean should share because they’re best friends. Jean says that Sasha’s asking for too much. Then Ymir says that Jean’s face is asking for too much, and now everyone’s arguing with each other. 

You lean over, whispering in Eren’s ear as you talk. 

“Are they always like this, Eren?” 

“Unfortunately.” 

He pushes his own bowl of ramen to your side, placing the chopsticks in your hand. 

“Oh. It’s okay. I was the one who willingly gave my breakfast away and started World War Three, so.” 

“Don’t be stupid, Y/N. Let’s just share.” 

You and Eren shuffle the chopsticks in between your hands, taking turns eating from the bowl.  And you’re so distracted because Eren’s asking you about Falco and Colt that you don’t realize it when it happens. 

Connie taking a picture of you two. 

And suddenly, they all stopped arguing with each other and started teasing Eren. 

“So this is why you didn’t tell us anything about her? Trying to keep her all for yourself, huh?” Connie says first, smirking at Eren. 

You can see the tips of Eren’s ears turn red as he denies it vehemently, only goading the rest of them on more. 

“Eren. Do you think Y/N is pretty? Do you love her?” Ymir asks, swinging her arm around your shoulder. 

“Where do you get off, you little bitch? Why would you even ask me that? Do you think Historia is pretty?” 

“Yes. I do think Historia is pretty.” 

You crane your neck over to Historia, whose sitting at the table, her cheeks glowing pink in her hands. Mikasa and Armin are sitting right next to her, focused on typing away on their phones, but you can see the smile pressed on both of their faces. 

“You didn’t answer, Eren. Do you think Y/N is pretty? Do you guys kiss each other goodnight? ” asks Reiner, this time leaning even more forward. They’ve backed you and Eren into a corner, the six of them smiling bloody murder at Eren. 

Eren hates being put into a corner like this. But he hates it even more when you’re looking over at him, your eyes boring into his, expectantly waiting for an answer.  

“Yes. I think Y/N is pretty. No, we don’t kiss each other goodnight.” he murmurs, his cheeks burning red. 

You can feel your own cheeks heating up as Levi comes by, dragging the rest of the new people to set with the promise of food. Sasha’s the first one to leave.

Leaving you and Eren alone in the kitchen again, the half-finished bowl of ramen between you. 

“Eren.” 

“They’re always like that. It’s so embarrassing. Now I’m never going to hear the end of it. Especially from Connie and Reiner, they’re so fucking annoying sometimes it’s-” 

You place your hand on Eren’s shoulder, stopping his rant in his tracks. 

“I think you’re cute.” 

“Huh? What?” 

“You told me that you think I’m pretty. Just thought you should know I think you’re cute,” you say, shrugging your hand off and grabbing your harness from the ground as you walk off to the set. 

Eren joins twenty minutes later. 

He needed the extra time to get his heart to stop violently thumping in his chest. 

- 

Armin is the only one brave enough to ask. He leans over, straight into Levi’s headspace, and asks. 

“Levi. What are they doing?” 

The eleven of them have been watching you and Eren do this for the past few minutes. You’re both…standing there, staring at each other. You’re not exactly talking, though you do whisper something to each other a few times. You’re just kind of…standing there together. 

“They do this before they shoot scenes. Y/N said it’s not really a thing for her, but Eren says he needs to feel some… tingle before he can shoot.” Levi responds, yanking his headphones partially off. 

“Tingle?” Armin repeats. 

“Tingle.” 

“That’s not a tingle. He’s just excited to see Y/N.” Reiner responds, the rest of them chuckling. 

You’ve asked Eren to explain it to you maybe a hundred times. And he always says the same thing. That he needs a second before he can shoot to stop being him, Eren, and being the character, Eren. And he knows he’s thought about it hard enough when he can feel this… writhing in his chest. 

Most of the time, it’s not bad. He usually just stands there for a few seconds, looking at the ground or the set, and he’s ready. But today, the entire thing is making your cheeks burn. Because not only are the rest of them watching you, but he’s staring at you - green eyes, all soft and warm. He never really looks at you like that, straight on. 

“Are you nervous, Y/N?” 

“A little bit. They’re all watching, and it’s kind of a hard scene.” 

“You’ll be fine.” 

“Why are you taking so long today? You’re literally just supposed to look all passed out in my arms.” 

“For you. You’re like nervously twitching and have to stop before we can start.” 

The scene isn’t too bad. You’re just supposed to get suspended in the air and then grab Eren when he comes out of his titan. Levi and Hange said it was preferable if you could try to cry, which Eren has been trying to coach you on for the past few days. 

It’s supposed to be an emotional scene. You’re supposed to think Eren’s dead and that he’s returned to life. That your best friend, the only person whose been with you since you were little, will still get to be by your side.

(Hange’s really dramatic when they explain scenes). 

And when you do it, you can feel your hands shaking. They’re blowing a lot of steam onto the set as you and Eren stick out of the prop titan, making your hair stick to your forehead and your skin sizzle under the lights.

You’re sure Eren feels the same way. You place your hands around Eren’s face as he starts wobbling in the air in your hold. 

You’re not supposed to say anything. You’re just supposed to feel it. 

That’s what Hange wrote on your script, next to the blocking for this scene. You place your hands around Eren’s face and take the sight in. The red marks streaking down the side of his face, the way his eyes are closed, and you’re not sure what makes it happen, but you really want to hug him. 

Because if this were really true, if you really did think Eren was gone, you would want to hug him. You would want to hold him in your arms, press yourself into his skin to make sure that you can feel him, so that you knew he was really there. 

So you do. It wasn’t in the script or what Hange and Levi wanted you to do, but it just felt right. To hold him like this. Some part of your stomach is burning because Eren isn’t really wearing a shirt and even Eren awkwardly shuffles when you do it. You whisper down into his ear. 

“Sorry. Felt right.” 

And when Levi yells cut and they pull you and Eren down, Annie is the first one to say something. 

“I get it now.” 

“Get what, Annie?” Eren asks, yanking his own harnesses off. 

“You’re not a good actor, Eren. I was really confused when they picked you as the lead. But I get it now. You guys have really good chemistry.” she replies, milling off. 

You apologize to Levi for not following the script. He, in turn, tells you to do it more often. 

-  

After four days of filming, Eren’s more pissed than ever. Because he figured that his jealousy or possessiveness would wear off by now, that it was just because he was used to it being just him and you for the past three weeks. 

And he gets why everyone wants to talk to you because they’ve all known each other for years, and you’re the shiny new toy, but do they really have to talk to you all the time? 

He can’t eat ramen with you in the mornings because Sasha always begs you to make her some too. Then she’s milling around in the kitchen, asking you mindless questions while you make some for her. 

He can’t do homework with you in your room because Reiner always joins - and he gets that Reiner is really bad at French, but does he always have to ask for your help with the assignments? 

And he can’t even talk to you at night when he’s bored anymore. Because Mikasa’s always there too - teaching you how to braid your hair, the two of you giggle about things he doesn’t understand. 

He loathes it, which is why he has the outburst that he does. 

He invited you to go for slushies with him on Friday before you fly out to Cannes for the panel. But when he yanks out the tandem bike and Jean asks to go along, he can’t help but get irritated at him. So he yells at him . Like bloody murder yells at him. Which is why you and Eren quietly bike, awkwardly sharing the slushie on the bench. 

“So.” 

“I wasn’t going to let him come, you know? Slushies are our thing, Eren.” you respond, swirling the brown and red ice together. 

“Oh. Really?” 

“Well, yeah. Some things should be just ours. And I can’t help it for other things - like when Sasha asks for food, or Annie wants help with the props - but I can for this.” 

Relief floods through Eren’s chest, and he smiles for the first time in five days. Thank god. 

“Okay. Good.” 

“Were you feeling… bad about it or something? Like I wasn’t really talking to you?” you ask, Eren not meeting your gaze and instead focusing on the geese walking across the street. 

“I know you’re not like supposed to talk to me or whatever, but like. I just kind of missed you, that’s all.” 

You smile, leaning your head against Eren’s shoulder. 

“I missed you too, Eren.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You and Eren bike back, matching pink lips, which is just asking to get teased at this point. Ymir asks how long you and Eren were sucking your face to get lips that pink, which just pisses Eren off to no extent. Levi makes them both sit on separate sides of the plane. 

“Each person answers the panel questions in sets of two or three. There are three panels, so ensure you’re with the right person for each part.” 

Your first panel is with Ymir, which you lucked out on. Because the second they start asking questions, your face is burning, your throat is itching, and you can’t answer even a single one they ask you. 

You’ve never really been the anxious type. You’ve acted in school plays before and performed for big crowds. But that was always low stakes in your mind. The only people in the audience were people that you grew up with, their older sisters that always compliment you on their hair, and their parents that love to take pictures with you. 

This crowd is something different altogether. They’re all wildly unfamiliar, with big cameras and notepads in their hands as they scribble down every little detail they can. Before you and Ymir could even introduce yourselves, even give them something to write down or take a picture of, they were already going hard. 

That’s why you feel petrified on the stage. One of the questions is literally what your name is, but for some reason, this crowd of adults with shiny cameras and notepads makes you choke. Ymir saves the day. She’s charming enough to woo them all on her own, with a few comments from you here and there throughout the panel. Every word out of your mouth feels like balmy chalk running down your throat. 

Your second panel is with Mikasa and Connie, who are surprisingly a really comedic duo. They’re both so different that they complement each other really well, providing funny anecdotes from set and talking about what it’s been like to film.

Connie, much to your dismay, tells the audience that you and Eren are inseparable - so much so that he’s caught you cuddling together on set before. 

That was an accident. You were just tired from shooting on set for eleven hours. You can sneak by with another comment here and there for this panel too. 

But the third panel is just you and Eren. And you know you can’t choke here because you and Eren are the leads. And granted, you haven’t really been acting like a lead this entire time by squeaking once like a mouse, but it’s infinitely worse to do it now. 

“What’s wrong?” 

You can feel the tears welling in your eyes as Eren looks over, concern washing over his face. 

“I-I can’t do this.” 

“What? Why not?” 

“I don’t know. I already messed it up. My entire panels I- I didn’t even say anything because I felt so weird and like- I don’t know, I just can’t be a lead role. I’m not cut out to-” 

He shakes his head, yanking you forward to push you into his embrace, his arms warm. His mouth is hovering by your ear, his voice so soft that it sends shivers down your spine. 

“You’re going to be fine. You’re literally everyone’s favorite person on set because you’re just the best to be around. And it’s the same thing out there, just with people you don’t know.” 

“You guys…you guys have to like me. And it’s hard when they’re all looking at me.” 

“Don’t look at them. Just look at me. Just pretend you and I are sitting there, and the person asking the question is me, not them.” 

You shake your head, burying it deeper into his shoulder. You can feel your panic subsiding, but there’s still a bubble of anxiety right in your throat.

You and Eren walk out, Eren’s hand pressed in yours, as you sit at the table, your hands still locked together under the fabric. 

He squeezes three times before starting, introducing the two of you. The first question is for you. 

“Who is your favorite person on set?” asks the lady in the front.  

“Um. Maybe Hange. I’ve always looked up to them for a really long time, and getting to work with them has been re-really cool.” you mumble straight into the microphone. 

You look over at Eren, who feigns shock as he talks into his. 

“I’m offended, Y/N. My favorite person on set is you but your favorite person on set isn’t me?” he says, the crowd laughing. 

“What? You’re so full of it, Eren. If they asked you, you probably would have said Levi because he did your laundry once.”

The crowd laughs again, and Eren smiles, his eyes warm as he looks into yours. 

“You’re annoying, Y/N. I’ve literally said you’re my favorite person on set on every panel. You think you’re special to someone and find out they don’t even like you that much.” 

“Oh, be quiet Eren. You’re so irritating. You know I like you.” 

“What was that? Say it louder for me, I didn’t really hear you.” 

“I like you.” 

“One more time, Y/N. Use your big girl voice.” 

“I hate you, Eren. You’re not funny and you’re not cool.” 

The entire crowd laughs, Eren squeezing your hand under the table as they ask him questions next. You’re doing it. 

And for some reason, you’re really in awe of this side of Eren. You never figured that he was the type of guy to be really good at press since he seems so awkward and stumbly when he’s around you, but he’s…really charming when it comes to this. He’s cracking jokes, poking fun at you while answering all the questions. 

“Last question. For Eren. What was your favorite scene to film?” 

“There’s this scene that we filmed a few weeks ago. Y/N did some really good improv in it, and when Hange and Levi showed it to us for the first time, we were just so excited for the show to start airing. Basically, you think my character is dead, but-” 

You feel your eyes widen as you clamp your hand over Eren’s mouth, stopping him from spoiling the show before it airs. And you forget that you’re on the microphone because you accidentally start berating him into the speakers. 

“Eren. You’re so full of shit. Stop spoiling the show before it can even come out.” 

For some reason, the entire cast finds the entire ordeal so funny that they’re clapping bloody murder for you and Eren as you deck out.

And when you get to the back of the stage, Hange’s applauding you both for doing so well and Levi’s threatening Eren with promises of masking tape on his mouth the next time he tries spoiling the show.  

You’re just thankful Eren held your hand through the entire thing. You wouldn’t have been able to stomach it if he wasn’t. 

- 

The review comes out early the next day. The eleven of you huddle around the computer, you and Eren sharing a chair as you wait for Hange and Levi to return with Erwin from the airport. The man of the hour himself has finally arrived to set, meaning you can watch the review. 

It’s two girls with short blonde hair on both of them as they dissect the teaser trailer Hange and Levi produced for the panels, and the individual speaks themselves. 

They introduce each actor and their character, commenting on past roles, character dynamics, and how they feel about the character overall. Almost everyone gets a glowing commendation except for Armin, who they feel doesn’t look the part. 

You can tell from the way Armin shifts uncomfortably in the seat that he’s a bit put off by the comment, but Jean and Marco are already coming to his defense, whispering reassurance in his ear. 

“Now, onto the leads.” 

You instinctively grab Eren’s hand under the table, the two of you leaning closer to the computer to listen. 

“The male and female leads for Attack on Titan are Eren Jaeger and F/N L/N. Eren Jeager was in the fourteenth SHWA cohort and already has a nice plethora of credits behind him - even going as far as to have already co-starred with major parts of the ensemble. We’re sure he will be a great lead for the show, a career-defining role if he does it right.” 

You squeeze Eren’s hand three times under the table, everyone patting him on the back and squeezing his shoulders in congratulations. 

“We’re unsure if the same can be said for female lead F/N L/N. Upon closer inspection, head casters Hange Zoe and Levi Ackerman have chosen something a bit untraditional by not picking an SHWA-affiliated actor. We’re unsure if she can hold her own on a show with big chops like this one since she could barely handle the panels themselves. Sure, everyone has been gushing over how cute the two leads are together, but Eren can’t really carry that part of the charm for her on screen. We’re unsure how it’ll play out, but it’s feeling pretty bleak for now.” 

Eren squeezes your hand under the table, but you let go altogether. And when you look back, they’re all awkwardly staring at you, Hange and Levi pinching the bridges of their nose. 

“Um. I’m not in the next few scenes, actually. So I’m just going to go eat dinner if that’s okay.” 

“We’ll come with you,” Mikasa responds, yanking Sasha up from her chair. 

“Oh, you guys have to stay on track with filming. You shouldn’t backlog the schedule. It’s okay.” 

Eren watches you walk off set alone, Hange and Levi already doing damage control on their side. Levi’s already screaming bloody murder that they have no right to say that when they have no experience in the field, and Hange’s getting ready to run off and comfort you. 

“Hange. Let me come, please.” 

Eren watches Hange's features contort as they shoot him down. 

“Sorry, Eren. I don’t think she really wants to talk to anyone right now. And I’m just going there to sit with her till she’s ready to talk.” 

“She’ll talk to me. I can sit with her, I do it all the time. We’re best friends. And I just want to come. Please, please let me go.”  

“Eren. These are all your scenes. You need to stay here. I’ll let you come check on her after, okay?” 

Eren watches Hange run off and angrily acts through the next seven scenes. 

- 

When he’s done on set, he basically all but sprints to your room, snatching the video camera from Levi and Hange’s office, and knocks on the door lightly. And when he sees it, he can’t tell which emotion he feels most strongly. Never mind, he’s almost positive it’s anger. 

You’re lying flat under your soft blanket, Hange’s hand in your hair. He can tell that you’ve probably been crying for a better part of the day, your eyes were all swollen and pink and your nose all runny. 

Eren climbs under the blanket with you, hand locking with yours under the sheets. He squeezes your hand three times, which you return as you wipe the excess liquid from your face. 

“Y/N.” 

“What, Hange?” 

“I’m going to call your mom and tell her that you have a boy in your bed.”

You and Eren laugh, rolling your eyes at Hange as you reach up to pull on their hair. Hange hops off the bed, retreating downstairs to get make the ramen that you asked for, as you and Eren shuffle under the blanket. 

“Y/N. You okay?” 

And at the sound of the question, you immediately start crying again, eyes burning as you lean your head into Eren’s shoulder. 

The entire thing - it’s just so fucking embarrassing above anything else. It’s already humiliating enough to get called out as one of the only bad actors in the cast. Sure, they really dug on Armin too but it wasn’t to the extent that they did it to you. And Hange said that was because you were a girl, and they’re always going to be more critical of you than him, but it sure doesn’t feel that way. 

You can’t act. You can’t do press. And for some goddamn reason, you’re the one leading the show with Eren instead of someone else. Maybe it should have been Mikasa or Historia or something, they’d surely be doing a better job at this than you. 

“Nothing you say is going to make me feel better, Eren. Hange’s been trying for the past few hours, but you’re all just lying to make me come back to set.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You guys just feel bad that they said that about me, even if it’s true. And now that you’re stuck with me, you have to make me do it. I’ve been telling Hange - I don’t know what they saw in me even to pick me in the first place. They clearly made a mistake.” 

“Hange and Levi didn’t pick you.”

“What?” 

“Well, they did. But, I picked you too.” 

He reaches over, grabbing the shiny black recording camera from your nightstand. He pulls his arm around yours, holding the camera a few feet away from your face as he holds the looks for the video. And when he plays it, you recognize the same soulless room you did your chemistry screening in, Eren sitting in the chair. 

“So Eren. We’re picking through the last few candidates for the lead. Is there anyone you want it to be in particular?” 

You can recognize Levi’s voice over the video, and you’re sure Hange has to be the one recording from how the videos wobble around so much. 

“You’re going to let me pick, Levi?” Eren from the video asks, eyes wide from shock. 

“We’re in between three and we can’t pick one. And this person is your co-star, you’re probably going to spend a better part of the next five to six years with them if things go well. Should be someone you like.” 

“Y/N.” 

Hange comes into the frame on the video, pinching Eren’s cheeks as they ask. 

“That was fast. Any particular reason?” 

“I don’t even remember the names of the other ones. That’s how lame they were in comparison.” 

“You sure, Eren? You really want it to be her?” 

“Positive. I’d even bet on it.” Eren responds, looking over to Hange. 

Hange smiles, circling a name on the clipboard, turning to the camera as they speak. 

“F/N L/N it is.” 

The video ends, the white screen glowing back on you and Eren’s faces. 

“You… you picked me?” 

“Yeah. And I’m not lying to you when I’m trying to make you feel better or tell you that you’re great. Maybe Hange and Levi are, but I’m not. I’ve always thought you were great.”

You and Eren lean back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. His hand is still in yours under the blanket, warm and sweaty, but you don’t really want to let go. Eren doesn’t say much after that, but when Hange comes with dinner and he has to go back, he says one thing which such confidence that you can’t help but believe him too. That you want it to be true. 

“You’re going to prove them wrong, Y/N."

--

next part here

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[jazzy-art-time]

Alli - JarbleAU

Alli belongs to @curce [ I had permission to Jarble-ize her. Curce willingly sacrificed her to me ]

Diagnosis information below the cut

DIAGNOSIS:

Alli

Job: Stage performer / Stage magician

Despite her flamboyant and spectacular performances on stage at the Shining Ring's biggest Casino, Alli is all but a fraud.

Most wouldn't be able to tell that her acts are all fake. Just tricks of the light or very strategic stage tricks. She works hard to make sure everything looks spectacular and entertaining from down below in the seats… or well.. at least makes sure her stage hands work hard.

Whether or not magic does exist doesn't matter, in the end its just about money. Real or fake it doesn't matter, what sells, sells. Wasn't entirely the route she was expecting to take in her life but it's where she's at now and she is good at it.

She is extremely cocky and arrogant and demanding of those around her to make sure her performances go well. At this point, is she even doing much work out there?

However, stage tricks aren't enough to keep a crowd interested, so she sometimes has to resort to… interesting outfit changes to gather attention. She isn't the best at flirting face to face, but that doesn't really matter when you are on stage with a short skirt.

She gets easily worked up over any critic reviews of her show. What would they know anyhow. Better hope you aren't a stagehand who happens to be nearby when a bad review drops.

But despite her cockiness on stage, there is some level of discomfort with it. Sometimes she wonders if it's really worth it to be this way. Maybe she shouldn't rely on such cheap tricks to gain a audience. A deep ache resides in her chest whenever a child happens to pass by mentioning that they love magic and hope to see a show of hers once they grow up. She remembers when she believed in that stuff too. It hurts a little.

But she doesn't know why. DEFAULT WEAPON:

Expandable Cane/Wand

Is conjured by "pulling" out of her head gem.

Usually summoning it causes a mild headache. She cannot conjure it if her gem is somehow damaged or covered, even by her own hair.

The wand/cane can expand for as long as she needs to for the situation. She can also determine how flimsy or stiff the cane is. So it can either be being hit with a flimsy switch or getting nailed with a lead pipe.

Normally a clear glass like appearance during the day. But within starlight or specific brands of stagelight, it glows. EXTRA DESIGN NOTES:

-> Has a more witchy type outfit but had to go more magician for the gimmick. BUT kept the hat overly large with the crinkled tip just as a bit of a nod to the original.

-> Sparkle markings appear on her face, her hair shimmer and lightly faded on her tail tips. The ones on her face are supposed to mildly resemble that of clowns.

-> Has several gems that mimic her forehead gem on her body. When she performs, she somewhat hides that she is pulling her staff from her head gem. That way it leaves to some illusion on just WHICH gem she is pulling it from. Most assume she can pull it from any of them.

-> The inside of her cape has that like… "space" texture that changes and warps as she moves around. Is it just some kind of mythical fabric or does she own like 50 fucking capes with different sequin space patterns? WHO KNOWS

-> I'M NOT... ENTIRELY HAPPY WITH THE OUTFIT but like. Magician outfits can be kinda basic and so trying to do something more flashy but also like?? I don't know! I don't know how fashion or clothing work I'm still learning and practicing give a man a break

[soufcakmistress]

new love on the near northside

A/N: haters that ruin the fun will get blessed out and blocked! find someone else to play with, tysm :) this is for all the sydcarmy truthers like me who’ve been in a spiral for two years

Pairing: Sydney Adamu x Carmen Berzatto

“All right chefs, we need to fire four prime ribs, two lobster risottos, and four cream puffs!”

“Yes, Chef!”

“Marcus, 86 the mascarpone for the cherry tart on 20!”

“Heard, chef!”

“Okay I need to see hands!”

The waitstaff gingerly grab the plated dishes from the final station, while Carmy is gently yet firmly reminding them not to smudge the plates as they’re being taken to their respective tables. Dinner service is in an awesome groove right now and Syd is feeling confident tonight. She’s still riding on a high from the last food critic that visited from the Chicago Tribune, who raved over her braised short rib and orzo pasta. There are also other reasons for Syd’s good mood.

“Open your legs, Syd..”

Syd shudders, takes three deep breaths and continues to fire off orders from the expo. The Bear has been packed almost every single night for three weeks. They don’t have much of a waitlist yet, but word of mouth moves quickly in Chicago and the front of house are noticing some repeat customers already.

Carmy joined Syd at the expo, and she can still pick up the scent of his cologne even in the midst of garlic, heavy cream and raw seafood. If she even peeks at him, she’ll lose her train of thought, and that’s the last thing the team needs right now. After having to let go of Josh after his unfortunate episode, her sous Tina has been pulling double time, covering both stations like a champ. She makes a mental note to give her an unbelievable gift and some love this weekend. “How are we doing, Chef? We cool?”

His eyes are so crystal clear and she recollects how he stares through her when they….oh fuck. “Yes, Chef. Runners are getting everything out in a timely manner, and we are turning these tables around. You?”

“Carmy, Carmy, yes—oh!”

Carmy licks and bites his lips and smirks. “Yes Chef. You’re the captain of this ship.” He squeezes her shoulder and goes back to his station as their boucher, Daniela checks in with Carmy about the fat trimmings for their beef.

Fak, Richie and Sweeps were holding down the front since Nat is on maternity leave. Carmy keeps a wallet size photo of his brand new nephew at his station, looking occasionally with a smile. Forty five more minutes before dinner service is over and Syd can finally go puke out back. “Chefs, we’re almost in the clear! Let’s keep up the momentum and sense of urgency!”

“Yes, Chef!”

Every dish is gorgeous. So many painstaking hours reworking the menu. Chaos menu, thoughtful chaos menu, back to chaos menu again. Reviewing and poring over Carmy’s intricate drawings, all the late night sessions, so much money spent on ingredients—it was enough to make Syd’s head spin. Hence why, almost a month since The Bear opened she’s still subsisting on a diet of Tums and Pepto.

She’s eternally grateful for her partners. Nat and Cicero have saved all their asses more times than they can count. Cicero is a hard ass but he adores Carmy and Sugar and has grown to love Syd as well. And of course, the best chef she’s ever had the privilege of working beside is her executive chef, business partner, best friend and now lover.

“Look at you. You’re so wet baby. Fuck—”

~

They’ve managed to keep their love affair under wraps for this long. It’s a struggle not to be able to touch each other when they’re working. Tina and Marcus are too perceptive; they would be found out immediately. Still, Sydney feels like a giddy school girl whenever Carmy corners her in the office as they open the restaurant every morning—both of his hands by her sides keeping her close. He’s so incredibly sexy without even trying and she still gets shy sometimes. He has to pull her chin from her shoulder and make her look at him.

“Don’t run away from me. You know I won’t let you..” And those ocean blue eyes of his again….and his lips are feather light on top of hers. Her knees are ready to buckle and Carmy sensed as much, so he pulls her close to the hardness of his chest and stomach to keep her standing.

She loves how his stubble feels on her chin and cheeks, especially when he drags his mouth down her jaw and lightly sucks on her neck. “Carm, Carm, Carm, oh my god, don’t! If they see me with a hickey when I didn’t have one yesterday, how do I explain that?” Her face is hurting, she’s cheesing so hard.

One hand slides up her chef whites, slipping under her camisole and his agile fingers pinch her nipple while his tongue circles her earlobe. Syd’s learned that Carmy is insatiable. For someone to not be as experienced as he claims—his hands, lips, tongue…always seem to go exactly where she needs them to. “I can’t help it, Chef. You’re just so damn beautiful.”

Syd’s hands roam all over his thick biceps and eventually land in the bushy mess atop his head. Their tongues lave and suck on each other’s and their moans can’t be held back any longer. Carmy pulls her leg up to his hip while he grips her braids, until he hears Marcus and Sweeps come through the back door. They separate quickly and get themselves together. Lusty gazes linger between them and they’re both aching between their legs. Carmy is as red as a beet, and Syd’s lips are swollen from his kisses and nipping. “Right, thank you chef.” Syd walks out first awkwardly with wobbly legs that make Carmy chuckle.

~

Dinner service is over—the kitchen has been scrubbed down, trash taken out, perishables have been stocked away in the lowboys and walk-in, and the back of house staff has skated out. It’s just Carmen and Sydney, in their brand new restaurant. “I’m beat. You got all your stuff right?”

Syd has an overnight bag with everything she needs for a weekend with her babe. “Yes, I do! Are you..ready to go?” Carmy grabs the weekend bag along with her hand and they walk in tandem to his car.

Carmy has been seeing a therapist in addition to the Al-anon meetings and Sydney can tell a difference already. He’s slower to rant and rave and owns up to his mistakes. More eager to hear people out. She’s proud of him—he’s suffered through a lot to make it to this point. They eventually arrive to his apartment and a shower is the first order of business. Syd loves the water pressure at Carmy’s place and taking showers together has been great for their newfound intimacy. They undress each other, Syd pulls her braids up in a high bun, and they just hold each other under the steaming water. This is their time. Away from The Bear. Away from Chicago. Away from the many demands and decisions they’re forced to confront every single day.

Carmy washes her with her pink loofah that’s been made a permanent staple in his bathroom. This is all new to Syd; her heart blooms in her chest at these big feelings she’s experiencing. He’s gentle and doesn’t leave an inch of skin untouched. Syd washes his hair with his expensive shampoo and Carmy’s eyes close in ecstasy. They needed this tenderness. They deserved it.

All cleaned up and fresh, they mosey back to the kitchen for a late night meal. Habits are hard to break. “Spaghetti?” Carmy suggests.

“Yes oh my goodness. Butttt use bucatini instead. And all the cheese.” He smiles in agreement and pecks her on the lips and gets out all the ingredients they need. Julia Child is on in the background on a public access channel, as they converse about the restaurant and Carmy’s nephew and Sydney’s dad and Carmy’s dysfunctional family, the deep loss Syd still feels at the absence of her mom for most of her life. More tenderness.

Pasta is rolled out. Meat sauce is sautéed, seasoned and almost ready. The Shiraz is poured. Carmy can’t stop staring at her in his shirt and boxers. She’s so cute. The pasta boils and he watches her watching the program, fully enthralled. Everything is finally done; he plates everything in his unique Carmy way and Syd audibly orgasms at how the savory flavors meld together especially with the wine.

He grates more pecorino over the pasta and the lull in conversation is comfortable and warm. Not awkward and full of anxiety like with Donna….leaving him constantly overthinking and being afraid to speak. Sydney seemingly knows what he’s going to say before he does and that brings him comfort. They’re in crystal clear alignment on every way and he now knows a semblance of peace.

“Fuck. This is good.” Sydney is damn near scraping the plate, while Carmy is smiling the biggest she’d ever seen from him. They both love when the other eats their food. That sense of pride is undeniable.

“I’m glad you enjoyed, Chef. Anything for you.” He winks at her and she gets bashful and mumbled out that she’s going to take care of the dishes since he cooked. To his surprise, he’s a little more tipsy than he realized from the Shiraz. Carmy drains his glass and pours himself another, while checking Syd’s frame out. His boxers are screaming for relief and a little moan eeks out of him before he can stop it. Thankfully Syd isn’t aware of his moment of weakness.

Carmy swallows and wipes his lips and moseys behind his girlfriend. Kissing and nipping. “I’m almost done here, Carm..” Syd whines a bit at his ministrations and drops the plate into the soapy water.

“Yeah. Not fast enough for me..” Carmy turns her around and leaps with his tongue and mouth first. Her hands are dripping wet but she doesn’t waste a second grabbing his head of wild curls and taking what he has to give. Carmy grabs her legs to wrap them around his waist and Syd can periodically feel him thrust up into her mound, wailing for stimulation that only he can provide.

Their shared affection overpowers the television, and Carmy feels his way down the hallway with his baby in his arms. His love, that saved him in so many ways. He pulls his shirt off, she takes hers off. She takes his boxers off that she had on and she lays on his bed, naked as the day she was born. “Fuck me, Carmen.”

She held in her amusement because his entire neck and face was blood red with the pupils of his eyes blown out. Syd knows that he’s doing everything he can to stay contained, but he knows her better by now—she does what she wants. So she spreads her legs for him and twirls her clit in tandem with a brown nipple. Carmy’s about to explode.

He drops to his knees and explores her love below like it’s never been done before. “Sydney, why do you taste so good? Why do you do this to me..” She relishes in the fact that he’s potentially bruising her with the vice grip he has on her thighs, but yet she’s so afraid that she’s gonna squirt in his face if he keeps gently sucking her clit in and out of his lips like that. His manicured fingers enter her canal one after the other and prompt her to let go. “CARMYYYYYYY!”

His whole chest is drenched, and his eyes are shut tight, his deft fingers rubbing tight circles around her clit with a precision that only an executive chef named Carmen Anthony Berzatto could deliver. Sydney pushed his head away and she’s left trembling with watery eyes. “I-I—i didn’t know I could do that!”

Carmy just smirks and wipes his mouth and drops his pants. Syd still can’t get over him. He has even more tattoos that can’t be readily seen on a day to day basis, he is so cut and muscled and has a cock that should be cast in 24 karat gold. Don’t sleep on the short kings.

“Turn around.” His voice leaves no room for pushback, and she can barely raise up on her knees before he’s manhandling her. He’s learned that he loves doggy with Syd. With her ass high in the air, she is getting impatient as well and reaches behind her to line him up with her slit. Carmy catches his lip in his teeth as he pushes forward and they both groan out a “fuck” that only they could wholly grasp.

On the first stroke, he’s all the way in and Syd fees his sack grazing over her entrance. They’re both in a trance. Carmy has visions of Syd cooking, smiling, cumming, revolving in his mind as well as the score of the last White Sox home game so he doesn’t bust his load quick. Syd can’t get the thought of how intense and sweet he gazes at her. How he commands their team, how his talent speaks for itself, how fucking sexy his jawline is, how big his heart is. How lucky is she? To fall in love with her idol, mentor, boss….and to have him love her back.

The bed is beginning to bounce off the wall. Their volume increases as Syd can’t hold herself up anymore and they fall into collapsed doggy with their fingers interlocked. “I’m so glad you found me. I love you Syd, I love you, I fucking—fucking love you baby!” That set Sydney off for the most expansive and overwhelming orgasm of the night, taking her beau with her over the edge. Carmy’s sweaty forehead lays on Sydney’s right temple—both of them with tears in their eyes.

Carmy kissed every finger tip until their mouths met again, both letting their waterlogged eyes flow free. “I know. I love you too Carmy. We’re never alone.”

“We’re never alone.”