#cripes these are getting longer

[karniss-bg3]

Writing prompt! While travelling in the forest Tav and Kar'niss meet a human (probably druid, at your liking) who lives in the hut. The man greets them with surprise, but with no hostility. He is ok with Tav and absolutely fascinated by the drider.

A/N: Switched a few things up as I had an idea in my head. Hope the minor changes still suit what you were after. Thanks for the prompt!

[AO3 Mirror]

***

The first chill of the autumn season had cracked through the summers heat which carried across the realm, inducing change in the landscape. Orange and yellow hues dominated the treetops creating a harvest season ambiance that uplifted the traveling pair while also warning of winter’s steady approach. Kar’niss in particular seemed fascinated by the array of new sights and smells as it was his first time on the surface during such a time. The scents of burning wood wafted on the breeze, drawn from nearby farms who were discarding excess leaves and fallen trees. The crunch of withered foliage beneath their feet followed their every step, the path they traveled surrounded on both sides by thick woodlands that spanned on into forever. Squirrels were heard above them leaping from branch to branch, their cheeks stuffed to the brim with nuts collected from the ground in preparation for the upcoming season of famine. This place was full of life and activity and Kar’niss could focus on little else, his curiosity too great. Tav noticed the drider stopping at various intervals to examine which ever caught his eye, including a collection of red capped mushrooms growing from a dead log.

“It is nice out here, isn’t it?” Tav asked.

Kar’niss stepped back from the edge of the road, turning his body to better face his companion. “Yes. Is there a reason the trees on the surface change like this?” He pointed above his head and then motioned to the ground where many leaves had come to rest.

“It is what they do before winter comes. Their leaves change colors and fall away, leaving the branches barren during the winter months. I assume it is so they won’t break under the added weight of the snow.”

He hummed and craned his head back, his many eyes blinking in unison. “Snow?”

Tav chuckled. “Snow is...frozen water that forms into small flakes and falls from the sky when it is really cold. It’s white, soft and covers the ground.”

“Oh,” Kar’niss crossed his arms, “that sounds unpleasant.”

“It can be. But I imagine we’ll find a town to settle in long before it becomes a problem. Once the frost breaks we can continue our travels.”

Satisfied with the answers, Kar’niss resumed following Tav on the path forward. As the pair rounded the bend in the road they were promptly met with a problem. Ahead of them a wall of winding thorn covered vines stretched between the trees either side of the road. The obstruction seemed to extend a great distance in either direction preventing them from advancing. Kar’niss frowned and took a cautious approach while sliding his sword free from his back.

“A strange growth,” Kar’niss said.

“I don’t see a way around it, either. I wonder where it came from.”

He swung his sword in an effort to cleave into the blockage. While the blade did make a dent in the thick creeping plant it seemed that it was still rather resilient and would not yield. It didn’t stop the frustrated drider from trying again, unleashing a series of strikes against the barbed barricade which did little more than shear off smalls chunks. The wall proved to be immovable.

“You will not break through,” a peculiar voice rumbled behind the pair.

The duo whirled around, startled and on high alert. At first they didn’t spy the source of the voice until they spotted subtle movement in the treeline. Their vision adjusted in the mid-afternoon sunlight, seeing what looked to be a pile of earth with leaves spread over top. Upon further inspection they realized it was not earth but rather an individual, a bizarre one at that. Seated on a patch of grass looked to be a humanoid shrouded by layers of worn cloth. The fabric itself was frayed at the edges, the colors a mixture of muddy brown and faded green. Twigs and autumn leaves were collected on a patch of moss that had grown on the back of their garb shifting their position only when their host moved. A heavy cowl was tucked over their head with an off white deer skull mask protruding from underneath the folds. Atop their head, pushed through the fabric of the cowl, sat a crown of antlers which had a few strings of moss and dirt dangling from the various curved hooks. In the sockets of the macabre mask were an illuminated pair of green orbs acting as eyes, focused and staring at the pair.

Kar’niss scuttled forward and in front of Tav taking on a protective stance. He thrust his sword out to point at the mysterious creature, on high alert. “Who are you?? Did you make this barrier?”

“No,” the stranger began, “I do not know why it is here.” The voice sounded masculine in pitch, a drawn out, breathy monotone that was neither threatening nor friendly; Neutral.

Tav stepped around from behind Kar’niss to get a better look at the new comer. “We need to get through before the frost comes. Do you know another path?”

“None you would care to traverse,” he said.

Both Kar’niss and Tav sighed in frustration, both with their current conundrum and the stranger’s casual response to it. The drider was still on edge, the appearance of this unknown individual a bit off putting to him.

“You didn’t answer me. Who are you?” Kar’niss asked once more.

“I am Valkier.” He shifted enough to lift an arm, his skin ashen in tone and fingers capped with black claws.

“My name is Tav and this is Kar’niss. Do you live around here, Valkier?” Tav asked.

“Yes and no. I’ve come to investigate the barrier. Once that has concluded then I shall depart.”

“Have you learned anything or know when it may be removed?”

Valkier shook his head. “No.”

Tav clamped a palm to their forehead and tapped a foot. They’d then look to Kar’niss with a scowl. “Well this is a problem. The nearest town is half a days walk and where we just came from. Even if we push it we won’t make it before nightfall. It’ll be an uncomfortable experience camping in these temperatures.”

Kar’niss shuffled side to side nervously. “What do we do?”

“If I may offer,” Valkier began, “my home is a short distance that way.” He pointed behind himself. “You may shelter there for the evening if you are so inclined.”

Both Tav and Kar’niss side eyed one another with a wary glance. They didn’t know this man and couldn’t even be sure of what he actually was with his appearance obscured so.

“Without meaning offense, why would you offer two strangers entry into your home? One being a drider no less,” Tav said.

“Most tend to cower when they see me, you aren’t,” Kar’niss added.

Valkier rocked his body from side to side, picking up the gnarled quarter staff that had been resting in his lap. He’d use it to hoist himself up from his seated position, excess dirt and leaves trickling off of his body as he did so. “A drider on the surface is most unusual. In fact, you would be the first I’ve encountered. My reasoning is thus; If you were a danger you would already be dead or imprisoned. It is not as if a drider can easily go unnoticed, especially in towns. I offer my home as an act of kindness. You do not have to accept if you are worried.”

It was a sticky situation for the pair. While wary of Valkier they feared their fate if they camped on the road more. With reluctance and little choice Tav took Kar’niss by the hand and ushered him toward the treeline where their would be host stood.

“Lead the way.”

Valkier nodded and turned to guide them deeper into the forest, away from the familiar road they’d traveled most of that day. The unusual man walked ahead with more of a wobble in his gait, using the quarterstaff as a walking stick. He seemed to be compensating for the weight of the many layers of cloth piled on his frame making it unclear as to what type of build was hidden underneath or even his race. Unsure of how long it’d take to reach their destination Tav opted to fill the silence with a series of burning questions.

“If it’s not rude to ask, what are you?”

“I am Valkier,” he responded simply.

“R-Right but I more mean...what type of creature are you?”

“Unimportant. Know that I am benign and mean you no harm, that is all that matters.”

Kar’niss and Tav side eyed one another, confused but deciding it was best not to press further. Kar’niss had to choose his path through the woodlands carefully to ensure he didn’t get stuck on the way, weaving his large body between trees and over obstacles in their way. The thick layout of the forest began to relent, opening up more as they approached their destination. Soon the trio came upon a vast clearing surrounded on all sides by towering trees. Beams of light filtered into the glade casting light across a sea of tall grass mixed with wildflowers. At the center stood a rustic cottage that was dome in shape, built from wood and mud which made the structure sturdy. Piles of straw capped the roof lined with wooden beams to keep the hay secure. A small brick chimney poked from the right side of the building pumping out thin plumes of smoke, the scent of honey and sage permeating the air. A single, round wooden door stood closed at the front flanked either side by two small windows of the same shape. To say it was cozy was an understatement and it looked as if it had been sitting in this spot for quite sometime.

“Oh it’s beautiful,” Tav whispered.

“Mm thank you. It could use some repairs but it is holding strong,” Valkier said.

As they made their approach Kar’niss shrank once he got a good look at the homes size, particularly the front door. “I don’t think I can fit through that.”

The druid chuckled, the sound coming out in a broken wheeze from beneath the bone mask. “You can.” He lifted his staff and pointed it toward the entrance, waving the wooden rod in slow, tight circles. As he did so the pair witnessed the home expand and outstretch, it’s dimensions increasing before their very eyes. The door increased in height and width until it nearly overtook the front of the home, now more than large enough to accommodate one of Kar’niss’ size. They both gasped in surprise, the drider taking a few steps back with an anxious gait.

“How did you do that?” Kar’niss asked.

“It is my home. It does what I tell it to,” Valkier said. “Come inside.” He waved his staff and the door swung open effortlessly. He waddled his way through leaving it open for his reluctant guests.

“Should we?” Kar’niss asked, looking to Tav.

“Well, we’ve come this far and now I am curious. Be on your guard.”

Tav stepped inside first to survey what awaited them. While the exterior size appeared to increase the interior didn’t look to match, at least at ground level. Directly ahead of Tav was a square wooden table with four chairs made of the same material with intricate swirled designs etched into their backs. To the left sat a compact kitchen with limited counter space and a wood burning stove, a few cabinets attached to the walls above. Hanging over a hand washing basin were strings of dried herbs that likely explained the earthly aroma about this place. To the right of the table was a comfortable arm chair upholstered in forest green fabric. It looked old and well used suggesting it was a spot favored by the druid. It rested in front of a small, stone fireplace which was currently lit by a warm fire that kept the temperature a stark contrast to the chilly outside. In the back corner was a single, solitary bed covered in a nest of quilts piled at the center left in a state of disarray that mirrored the rest of the interior. Books were strewn about haphazardly and potted plants dotted the shelves and every available corner. When Tav focused their gaze upward they’d see the ceiling was impossibly high up and likely caused by the forced expansion. Timber beams crisscrossed over the canopy providing stability.

Kar’niss stepped in behind Tav and like them he marveled at the inside, careful with his steps so as to not knock something over by mistake. “A marvel. You said you came here to investigate the blockage, yes? Has it been here that long?”

Valkier meandered to the stove to put a kettle of water on. “No, I suspect only a day or so.” He waved a hand which prompted the door to close behind Kar’niss.

Tav squinted. “But this house looks like it’s been here for years. Did you find it abandoned and move in or something like that?”

“Something like that,” Valkier said, maintaining his neutral tone.

“If you’re not from here, then where?” Tav asked.

Valkier shook his head and slowly turned around, green orbs within darkened sockets focusing on his guests. “Make yourself comfortable then we might chat.”

Tav exhaled and pulled out one of the wooden chairs to take a seat. They looked to Kar’niss who obviously couldn’t fit. Before either could voice their concern Valkier held up a hand.

“One moment.”

His clawed fingers curled then outstretched in the direction of the floor beneath Kar’niss’ wide legs. Both of them felt a mild tremor, the floorboards creaking audibly as they splintered and crackled. From beneath a series of vines stirred but unlike the ones blocking the road these didn’t carry thorns. They slithered beneath the driders body which did startle him. Having little room to back up he could do no more than watch as they bunched together to form a solid surface beneath his body, raising up to conform to his unusual shape. When the movement stopped Tav realized that Valkier had made Kar’niss a seat of sorts, the back cradling his bulbous abdomen while the front curled up to support his humanoid torso. It appeared almost like a wavy, green slide from the side point of view and it conformed to him perfectly. More so, Kar’niss was able to get up and move away without trouble if he so chose.

“There, that should do,” Valkier said.

Tav smiled a little while Kar’niss clutched his arms to his chest, still a little confused about the entire affair. “It looks comfortable at least,” Tav said.

“A bit...yes.” Kar’niss said.

Valkier approached the table with three mugs in hand, steam rising from each. He’d place them down and slide two to his guests. “Now then, I believe it is my turn to ask some questions.” Valkier steadily lowered himself into a seat, clasping the mug in his palms to warm them. “Where is it you’ve come from?”

Tav eyed Valkier from across the table, lifting their mug to take a cautious sip of the hot liquid within. It had a distinct floral taste to it with a mild bite on the tongue, a tea of some sort they concluded. “Baldur’s gate.”

“Ahhh Baldur’s Gate, a city recently under siege to my understanding. Mind flayers and the very elder brain itself descended upon the nation stirring up chaos. Were you caught in the middle?” Valkier asked.

The drider took a sniff of the concoction in the cup and scrunched his nose, finding it too potent for his liking. He’d roll his shoulders still a bit tense but trying to follow Tav’s lead. “In the top, the middle and the bottom. We were the ones who felled the beast.” Kar’niss murmured.

The green orbs hovering in the sockets expanded in size, as if widening from such news. “You are the heroes of Faerun? My, what an honor it is to host such esteemed guests. If I had known I’d be receiving such legendary company I would’ve taken the effort to tidy up.”

Tav smiled and shook their head. “No need, we’re just grateful you welcomed us at all. We would’ve had a hard time of it if we had to camp outside overnight.”

Valkier hummed, a funny sound that reverberated within his throat as he did so. “I am curious how a drider not only came to be on the surface but somehow aided in saving the world as we know it. I must say you are a delight to look at, Kar’niss. Your very form speaks to me.”

He’d jerk his head back with some surprise, the drider’s expression twisting to mirror his clear confusion. His pedipalps clicked against the surface of the chair of vines he sat upon. “How does the way I look speak to you?”

“You have a haunting beauty. Your body tells a story, one of tragedy and struggle. I know little about the drow, I admit. But I have taken to studying them since my arrival. If you are here traveling by your own free will it means you’ve broken the chains that bind. It’s an admirable feat and one you should be proud of.”

“I try not to think about what it’s taken me to get here,” Kar’niss stated, his voice quiet, “but I do acknowledge the road has been long. I hope you don’t intend to gawk at me the entire time we’re here.”

Valkier snorted, his fingertips tapping in clean succession along the side of his mug. “If by gawk you mean stare for hours on end, then no. But if you would humor me I would enjoy the chance to speak to you on a more personal level. It is not everyday you meet a drider much less one that isn’t hostile from the start. And a hero of the realm, besides! Any information I wish to gather will be non-intrusive if that helps.”

He tensed, sinking deeper into the chair as if trying to hide away. He looked to Tav, the only one he trusted in this situation. While he said nothing his gaze suggested he was searching for their approval more than anyone.

“It’s your choice, Kar’niss. If his questions or requests make you uncomfortable then you can turn him down. I’ll be here the entire time.” Tav reached over and rested a hand on one pedipalp, issuing a gentle squeeze to put him at ease.

He seemed to think it over, his gaze darting between Tav and Valkier in contemplation. Choice was still a new concept to him and one he had trouble coming to terms with, the very idea that he could say something and it would be honored. His arms crossed before he issued a single nod. “Very well. I will answer what I am able but no more than that.”

Valkier held up his hands. “That is all I could ask for.”

The remainder of the afternoon was spent with Valkier doing precisely that. With a journal in hand he would ask a series of questions about Kar’niss and his origins, jotting down the pertinent information as it was provided. Tav sat by and watched, paying particular attention to Kar’niss and his overall comfort levels. As promised much of what he asked was non-intrusive. All but one.

“How did you come to be a drider?” Valkier asked.

A silence fell over the room, a budding tension rising in the air. Tav frowned and looked to Kar’niss who shrank in his make shift seat, his legs clicking at the ground either side. Strange as Valkier may have been he wasn’t oblivious to the change in the atmosphere.

“If it is too much you don’t have to answer,” Valkier murmured.

Kar’niss took in a slow inhale of breath, his claw tips picking at the winding vines he was perched upon. “Not...too much, sensitive.” He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat, hesitation written all over his features. Tav reached to take Kar’niss’ hand into their own, offering a gentle squeeze to help ease his anxiety. After a pause he nodded to affirm to himself and continued. “I would rather not recount that.”

“Very well. Forgive the offense.”

The line of questioning continued, topics varying from the culture of the Underdark to the travels Kar’niss and Tav went on to bring them to this point. The exchange was relatively pleasant and without incident. As evening morphed into night everyone at the table felt the creep of exhaustion overtake them.

“Where is it we should rest?” Kar’niss asked.

“I don’t have much room but I can provide blankets and you may rest near the fireplace. You are free to make a web in the rafters if you so choose. I can find uses for the silk you leave behind.”

Tav smiled and nodded. “That sounds perfect, thank you.”

Kar’niss took the given permission seriously. He climbed the wall and began weaving a web from one side of the home to the next until a thick veil of silk hung above the ground floor like a sticky tarp. The lines were secure and strong ensuring both he and Tav could rest comfortably. “It is done,” he’d call down to his companion.

Tav wandered over to Valkier. “Thank you again for allowing us to stay. I don’t know where we’ll go tomorrow if the road hasn’t cleared but this kindness did save us some trouble.”

“Of course, think nothing of it. I am certain tomorrow will yield you good fortune,” Valkier said.

Kar’niss climbed down far enough to scoop Tav up into his arms, carrying them up into the nest he had built for them both. Tav’s sleeping bag rested on a curved incline of webbing where they could sleep without getting stuck on the adhesive strands. Kar’niss placed them upon it letting them climb in and get comfortable. He then lowered himself and took advantage of the raised webbing so he could lay his torso over top, his preferred method of snuggling with his companion. His arms and pedipalps wrapped around them while his head settled on their shoulder. The pair saw Valkier climbing into his bed below but rather than lay down he instead crawled into the mountain of quilts situated at the center. Sitting cross legged he’d wrap himself in the pile until only his antlers stuck out, his own comfortable cocoon acting as a hideaway spot.

“He’s a bit unusual, isn’t he?” Tav whispered.

“Mm, a bit. So are we, I suppose,” Kar’niss murmured in return.

“True,” Tav chuckled. They ran their fingers through Kar’niss’ long white locks with one hand while stroking his back with the other, taking the moment to revel in each others company. A thought dawned on them considering the lengthy discussion they’d had with the druid. “When you told me why you were turned into a drider you mentioned you changed your name. If I may ask, what was your name before?”

The drider lifted his head to look at Tav, his chin resting on their collar bone. “My mother named me Rhyltran.”

“Rhyltran? What does it mean?”

“Moon weaver,” Kar’niss explained. “She said my skin looked as if it was woven from the very fabric of the moon itself.”

Tav cupped the side of his face. “Moon weaver, I rather like it. Do you miss that name?”

He shook his head. “No. It belongs to a man who doesn’t exist anymore. I...had considered changing my name again after the battle in Baldur’s Gate, a way to mark a new era for myself. But you seemed attached to the name Kar’niss so I thought better of it.”

Tav blinked with surprise, their head cocking to one side. “Oh? What name did you have in mind?”

“Selds’yrr.” He’d make eye contact with Tav and smile. “It means sworn protector.”

Tav sucked in a gentle breath, their heart swelling within the depths of their chest. They’d lean in to bump nose to nose with their dear drider. “It suits you. No matter the name you take you’ll always be the man I grew to love.”

The pair shared a kiss, their lips coming together in a tight seal. They’d hold one another until they drifted off for much needed rest, warm and cozy in their hosts home.

The night passed and morning would come. The pair were greeted by the steady chirp of birds outside the home as well as the rustling of leaves tussled by autumn winds. Tav rose first, peering down from the webbing to greet Valkier. To their surprise the druid was no where to be seen having long since abandoned their quilt pile.

“Strange.” Tav gave Kar’niss a gentle shake which prompted a groan of disapproval from the drider. He was very comfortable in his position over Tav, burying his face deeper into their neck to avoid being forced to move. “Valkier is gone,” Tav said.

With reluctance, Kar’niss would skitter back and helped Tav rise from the bedroll. “Then we should seek him out.” He’d let Tav climb onto his back while peeling the bedroll from the webbing, rolling it up to store away among their things.

After retreating from the rafters they moved to the front door, opening it to peek out into the clearing. There they’d spot Valkier, seated in the middle of the glade where the morning light shone brightest. He basked in the rays, his head craned in such a manner that it appeared he was staring skyward. Tav wandered outside to approach him, looking on with curiosity.

“Morning, Valkier. I hope you slept well. The druid gradually craned his head to look up at Tav, those swirling green orbs enlarging in their sockets as if sparking awake. “I did. I trust you both did as well.” That monotone voice ever present.

“Yes, quite well in fact. Now we must face the troublesome task of working out where we’re heading. I assume the vine barrier still stands,” Tav said.

He shook his head. “No, it has fallen. The way is now clear.”

“What?” Tav squinted and looked to Kar’niss, confused. “How? That wall was massive. It couldn’t just...up and disappear.”

“It seems it has. Some questions are better left unanswered.” Valkier rocked side to side to get the momentum needed to rise to his feet. With quarterstaff in hand he would turn to face the pair. He lifted a satchel that he had packed at his side, handing it to Tav. “For your journey.” They took the pack and peered inside. A collection of food and small potions were contained within, mostly cheese, bread and smoked meats. “Oh this is very generous. Thank you, Valkier.”

“Of course. Thank you for the company, it is so rare to have guests. You have a long road ahead and time to make up. Do not let me keep you.”

“You’re right, we are behind. We appreciate your hospitality. Maybe we’ll meet again?”

Valkier rolled his shoulders beneath his many layers. “Perhaps. Have a safe journey.”

Tav motioned for Kar’niss to follow once they had collected their things. Valkier stepped forward to stop the drider, at least for a moment. “I won’t forget what you’ve told me. Hard as life may have been it seems you’ve been gifted a new start. I sense good things in your future, Kar’niss. Find peace in that.”

A moment of quiet fell between the pair as they looked at one another. Kar’niss couldn’t explain why but he felt a sensation of calm wash over him, from one end to the other. “Thank you,” he said, his eyes locked on the verdant orbs ahead of him. He’d step away to follow Tav, leaving Valkier standing firm in the middle of the clearing. A gust of wind tossed a flurry of fallen leaves across the landscape, fussing the branches of the many trees surrounding them on all sides.

Just as they approached the treeline ready to depart, Kar’niss turned to look back only to startle himself in the process. “Tav, look!”

Tav turned to do just that, their eyes widening once they realized what had surprised the drider so. The cozy home had disappeared from sight along with any evidence the area had been occupied at any point. Only an empty glade remained, unspoiled and serene. “He’s gone.”

Flabbergasted and a little unsettled they decided to move on, not wishing to incur the ire of forces unknown should they linger. Both were quiet once they found the road and resumed their travels, pensive and wondering what it is fate had caused them to meet. When they reached the point in the road where they were blocked before they saw the vine wall had vanished just as Valkier said. The way was clear and bright, silently inviting them to travel onward. Tav lead the way following the road around the bend which led them out of the forest and into a mountain pass. The rocky cliff side was steep on the right and open on the left, revealing a vast landscape down below. They knew if they slipped off it was likely the end of their journey so they stuck close to the wall instead.

Not far into the new territory they spotted activity up ahead. A series of ox drawn carriages appeared to be hauling large rocks and boulders in the direction they were heading. A crew of half orcs and tamed ogres were hard at work chipping away at a pile of stones that were scattered across the road. One of the half orcs turned to see the approaching pair and immediately went into high alert.

“DRIDER!”

This prompted all to shift their focus from the clean-up efforts to preparing for a fight, weapons drawn and formations taken. Tav jogged ahead of Kar’niss and held up their hands defensively.

“He’s with me, he’s friendly! We’re no threat. We’re just looking for passage,” Tav called out. Kar’niss tensed behind Tav at the ready. It wasn’t the first time his presence stirred up conflict and he knew it wouldn’t be the last.

The group ahead appeared wary, eyeballing the duo with great scrutiny. “What’s your business?”

“We’re just heading to the next town over. A wall of vines blocked our path from the forest but it has cleared.”

The foreman of the crew, a large half orc with dark green skin and black hair tamed into a loose ponytail, approached with mallet in hand. “Wall of vines? Not sure what you’re talking about. We came that way last night, wasn’t anything there.”

Tav and Kar’niss glanced at one another, the drider shuffling side to side. “What happened here?” He asked.

“Rock slide, took out the entire road. We’ve been clearing it for hours, almost free.”

Tav rubbed the back of their neck. “A rock slide? About when did this happen?”

“Ehh our sources say sometime mid-afternoon yesterday. Took out a caravan of poachers, bloody mess that was.”

A silence fell over the pair. Tav turned to look up at their lover. “That was about the time we reached the wall of vines. If we had been caught up in it—“

“We would’ve been killed,” Kar’niss interjected.

A chill ran down their spines, both peering over their shoulders in unison to look back at the way they had come. The silence between them was deafening while trying to rationalize events over the last day. Kar’niss would be the one to break the silence, recalling something their host had said before their departure.

“Some questions are better left unanswered.”

The drider lowered himself to the ground, a sign that he desired Tav to climb on his back. They did exactly that, straddling behind his back with their arms looped around his waist. Once Tav was secure he’d lift himself up and resume marching the path forward, weaving between the carts and wary road workers.

This would be a tale the pair often reminisced about in the future wondering who the stranger in the woods really was. While they’d never see him again his words of encouragement stuck with Kar’niss. He did find that peace and oh so much more with his beloved Tav by his side, a new purpose that he held onto until the end of his days.

The sworn protector for the hero of Baldur’s Gate.

[seaslugfanclub]

Disneys Sleepiest Soldier

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The video essay on (Y/N)s phone becomes increasingly blurry as they take a slow bite of their sandwich, trying to keep their eyes open.

Holy shit, they were exhausted.

(Y/N) sat hunched over the break room table, their eyes feeling like lead sinkers and feet pulsing from walking miles around the park. (Y/N) had arrived to their shift already tired, construction work had been done throughout the evening below (Y/N)s apartment—so they didn’t get a lick of sleep the previous night.

And after being in the sun all day, up and walking around tending to both guest and entertainment, they felt like they were going to pass out.

Pausing the video essay, (Y/N) checked the time on their phone, their soul clenching when they saw that they had 5 hours remaining to their shift.

Finishing off their sandwich, they looked at the time again to see they had 20 more minutes left to their lunch break,

“I’ll just take a micro nap, 10 minutes tops…..no one will notice…” (Y/N) reasoned, setting a timer on their phone and resting their head in their arms, almost instantly falling asleep.

————————————————————————

Even though he technically didn’t have to eat or drink, Hades couldn’t resist having a secret martini around this time of day. He had all the ingredients prepped in his room; gin, glass, live worm, all he needed now were the olives that were kept in the employee break room fridge.

Appearing from a cloud of smoke right in front of the refrigerator, the Lord of the Dead retrieved the olives, about to vanish to his room when he noticed a slumped over form in the corner of his eye.

“Well, what do we have here?” Hades mused as he walked over to his favorite park attendant, who was passed out on the break room table.

He loomed above them for a few minutes just appreciating their sleeping form when he noticed how dark the rings under (Y/N)s eyes were, they also looked paler than he remembered.

Now (Y/N) could look like anything and Hades would still find them attractive (the old pervert) but even he hated to admit how corpse like they looked.

“Geez kid….they don’t make things easy for you do they? Poor schmuck.”

Sighing in resignation, Hades swished the olives in his had away with a wisp of smoke, pocketed (Y/N)s phone, and proceeded to lift their limp body into his arms, carrying them bridal style. Once he knew (Y/N) hadn’t waken up from being jostled, he teleporting out of the break room and into the Villains common area.

Being so used to living around dead people, the feeling of warm, living flesh against his cold body was a change that Hades didn’t know was so welcomed until now. It almost hurt to part from (Y/N) as he layed them down onto the sofa in the middle of the room. Hades stared at them for a moment longer, before turning around to leave the room. He needed a stronger drink…

————————————————————————

“Cripes—Silver!? Did you nab my blunderbuss again— oh..”

Hook trotted into the common area, hoping to find and berate Silver for his missing pistol, before cutting himself off when he spotted (Y/N)s sleeping form splayed out on the sofa.

It seems that their exhaustion overpowered Hooks shouting, (Y/N) not even stirring.

Hook slowly approached the couch, looking over His park attendants form with silent wonder. He had never seen (Y/N) asleep before, they were always up and running around the park, confident and energetic. Hook marveled in this rare vulnerability, (Y/N)s sleeping form reminded him of the old renaissance paintings he had plundered with his crew years ago. (Y/N)s face was absent of all emotion, their hair splayed around them—

Wait a minute….

Hook was brought out of his reverie when he noticed how awkward (Y/N)s head was resting against the arm of the sofa. How could his dear attendant sleep without proper pillow!?

“My poor poppet… I’ll set you straight right.”

Hook sped out of the lounge, only to return minutes later with a pillow from his own quarters. He didn’t mind the strange looks from the other villains who were stalking the halls, his only goal was to get back to the common area.

Making sure not to scrape (Y/N) with his hook, the old captain gently lifted (Y/N)s head to place his pillow underneath their neck.

Taking a step back he admired his work, (Y/N) looking much more comfortable lying against his down feathered pillow.

“Sleep well my dear~” he whispered has he stalked out of the room.

————————————————————————

Hans clenched and unclenched his fists, not liking the way his palms felt— being so unused to not wearing his gloves. He rarely takes them off, and of course the only time he does so he misplaced them. He tried to ask around to see if anyone had found his pair of cotton gloves, but like every other time in his life, Hans was ignored.

His last hope in his search was the lounge, praying to Mickey-fucking-Mouse that they had somehow made their way there.

Completely focused on finding his gloves, Hans entered the common area and immediately began rummaging around. He didn’t care if his trousers got dusty or his hair fussed up, he couldn’t bear the feeling of his hands making direct contact with everything.

“Kom igen… var är de?”

Hans’s frustration was finally overwhelming him, about to give up when he noticed a flash of white from underneath the couch.

“Aha! Oh, finally!!”

Hans kneeled to reach under the couch, finally grabbing his beloved gloves and wasted no time in slipping them back on his hands. Relief washing over him, Hans went to stand back up— only to be face to face with (Y/N)’s

He flinched back, stumbling to his feet. In his mad search for his gloves, he had completely overlooked the sleeping (Y/N).

He titled his head, confused on why 1: (Y/N) is passed out on the villains sofa when they’re in the middle of a shift, and 2: why their head is resting on a satin down pillow that probably costs more than their rent.

Hans was brought out of his thoughts when a noticed a shiver ran up (Y/N)s back, the park attendant squirming.

Huh, he never noticed how chilly the lounge was, probably because he was used to the cold, even the central AC being nothing but white noise to him. Looking at (Y/N) again, he felt a strange squirming in his stomach…

….eh, it’s probably pity.

Tugging on his gloves, he walked over to the common areas closet, where they kept all the cleaning supplies, lightbulbs, untouched board games, and blankets. Groping around until he found something that met his standards, Hans pulled out a knit throw blanket and walked back to the couch.

With a flick of his wrists, the blanket unfurled and fell onto (Y/N)s body, (Y/N) unconsciously burrowing their face into the knit wool. Hans was strangely reminded of the bakers in his castles kitchens, blanketing the tops pies with dough.

Shrugging off the memories, he gave (Y/N) a fleeting look before exiting the lounge, his fists clenching and unclenching.

————————————————————————

The overhead LED lights stung in Frollos eyes, making him wince and rub the bridge of his nose. He used to think Paris as a filthy city, but now what he wouldn’t give to be back in the 15th century.

Trudging down the hall, a pit of anxiety welled in the bottom of his chest, dreading having to go back out in the park and having to… eugh, interact with others.

His procession stopped as he passed the doorway of the common area, turning his head towards the sofa. Checking to make so no one else was near, Frollo approached the couch to look over (Y/N).

If it was anyone else, Frollo would’ve sneered and berated the person for their sloth. Such waste of time and insult to God.

And yet…

It was a rarity to see the park attendant so still, their resting body allowing Frollo to notice details he never saw before; The stray beauty mark on their cheek, a specific strand of hair the coiled around their face, cuts and scrapes that littered their hands…

Frollo huffed, allowing (Y/N) to continue their sleep, about to exit the room when he stopped.

Their (Y/N) laid, their form vulnerable and unprotected, resting amongst those with wicked tendencies. It would go against his “beliefs” to allow evil to take advantage of those unaware.

Reaching into his robe, he pulled out his personal Rosary, the old wooden beads clicking as they hind from his fingers. Delicately, Frollo hung his rosary from the edge of the couch, the cross resting right above (Y/N).

“Procul recedant somnia, Et noctium phantasmata; Hostemque nostrum comprime, Ne polluantur corpora.” Frollo muttered a prayer, signing the cross over (Y/N)s body.

Having so other excuse to stay, Frollo stalked out of the lounge

“dors bien et fais de beaux rêves..”

————————————————————————

Facilier was….well— he wasn’t sure what he was looking at.

(Y/N) sprawled out on the couch, head resting on a pillow that looked like it belonged in Big Daddy La Bouff’s mansion, worn knit blanket draped over their body, and a dingy rosary hanging above their head.

The shadow man stared down at (Y/N), his shadow trying to reach the couch, only to be shocked backwards. Probably the fault of the rosary.

“Ah forget it old sport— let the kid rest,” Facilier chastised his shadow.

The conman recalled seeing (Y/N) stumbling around the park earlier in the day, nodding off while standing. Poor sap must’ve surrendered to their bodies plea for rest.

Facilier’s been known to indulge in a nap once or twice, especially on the sticky summer days back in Orleans… but from personal experience, he always needed total darkness.

“I’ve got no idea how they can sleep with all this light… let’s do the poor Cher a solid. Shadow, cut the lights.”

With the command of his master, Faciliers shadow creeped towards the window on the neighboring wall, pulling down the blinds as Facilier walked over to the light switch, humming to himself.

“..pale moon's shining on the fields below…. The folks are singing songs, soft and loooowww~”

flicking off the overhead lights, the lounge was plunged in darkness.

“Much better, c’mon old sport—” Facilier beckoned his shadow, who gave (Y/N) a longing glance before return to his master.

“You needn't tell me, ‘cause I know… When it's sleepy time down south~”

————————————————————————

(Y/N) sighed in their sleep, nestling into the blanket and pillow. Although they were still fast asleep, far from waking up— they could feel the peace that washed over them. Something only achieved when you’ve reach maximum comfort after strenuous activity.

There were moments in their sleep when they were uncomfortable; neck aching, cold, bad dreams, and bright light stinging behind their eyes. But each time they almost roused from sleep, the problem was always solved, sending them deeper and deeper into the REM cycle.

So there (Y/N) rested, swamped in strange warmth and set to not wake for a long while.

————————————————————————

Can you tell that my love language is acts of service?

I just wanted to write something fluffy, (also I kinda want to write more Hans stuff, an obsession is growing…)

Anyway, enjoy!

[elfqueen006]

May's New Pet

May shuddered as she made eye contact with the snake. Well, once she realized it was there. Could it even see her?

'White Python' it's sticker read. And above it was a large sticker that said "Hello, my name is JACK", the last word scrawled in crude blue marker.

She'd gone through this same routine with "Jack" for about a month now. Shaun had suggested she adopt a pet and for weeks she'd come in through her local pet shop to browse. And while everything was cute, she always found herself in an intense staredown with the snake. It just looked so... out of place in comparison to all the furry little companions. Of course there were the options of lizards and spiders, but none were as imposing as Jack.

Maybe it was the ghostlike glow of his scales in the dark cage. Or the red patterns dotting around his face. There might've also been a bit of her religious upbringing warning her of the foreboding serpent that always seemed to make eye contact with her and her alone.

"Looks like Jack likes you." One of the employees would joke. Though May could always see the uneasiness in their body language when passing the animal.

She could understand. He was terrifying.

---

May tried to steady her breathing as she held out her hand to the snake. It's tongue zipped out a couple of times to catch her scent but otherwise it made no move.

"It's okay... it's okay." She whispered, more to herself than it.

Why did I even do this? What was there to prove?

It just kept... staring at her! She'd heard somewhere that staring down animals meant to challenge them. But she didn't get that vibe at all from Jack. It was more like a kid staring at you before saying something like they'd peed the bed or threw up.

Anticipation and then...exhaustion? Cripes, she wasn't making any sense.

May jolted upon feeling the cold scales creep up her arm. She looked down and Jack stopped slithering. Seems she'd zoned out while he did so...

She was almost amazed the thing had moved. And when it seemed to backtrack she protested.

"No, hey! It's...it's alright!" She said.

Another grating staredown later, Jack crept back up her arm, and with each inch he seemed to get bolder - no longer cautious. Almost... trusting?

May held back a shudder when he slid behind her neck and rested across her shoulders, wrapping himself around her like a necklace.

"Jeez... aren't you cozy?"

She heard a subtle hiss.

"You like it there?"

Another hiss.

She spent the rest of the day carrying him on her neck. There were times she held out her arms as a silent plea to slither off, but he preferred a place on her neck.

Jack was a clingy snake, but she could get used to that.

---

Idek man I just wanted to write a pet au. I heard snakes can't feel emotion, but they can be comfortable with their owners.

They scare the dickens out of me though.

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

kdnfb's 10 Years of Fanfiction Mania, Featuring: Break

Summary: Katniss takes a risk on her last day at college, a game with higher stakes than she was expecting. Can she keep up with the game after she leaves behind her friends and one blond roommate with a talent for baking and making her feel hopeful?

Rating: E for explicit sexual content, and explicit language.

A/N: For the next feature in my 10 Years of Fanfiction Mania, we travel back rather far to my first completed multi-chapter story that was not co-authored. I'd already finished one that had been co-authored by the time I finished Break, but we'll get to that.

Break started as just some frivolous pool table smut and bloomed into me thinking "Wonder if I could write a fanfic that has smut in every chapter and still has a plotline with relationship development...." You all get to decide if I succeeded or not on that.

So! Seven chapters and just under 50k words, finished in August 2016 (cripes I feel old just typing that), here is Break. Banner created by the insanely talented and unfortunately no longer on tumblr (as far as I'm aware) @loving-mellark.

As with Wrapped in Red, I welcome any questions or prompts for future-takes/outtakes, songs that make you think of this story. Literally whatever your heart desires.

You can read the whole story on AO3. It's also on ff but I'll be honest, I haven't touched ff in literally years. Sorry. ❤️ kdnfb

[thepixelelf]

Please Linger

set in the Silk Touches and Mended Hearts universe

genres: soulmate au, romance, angst, journalist/photographer mingyu, pediatric nurse wonwoo pairings: reader x mingyu focus, + reader x wonwoo words: 2.0k warnings: blood & minor injury (scraped hands, elbow, and cheek)

In a world where a soulmate’s touch can heal any wound, Mingyu knows his own soulmate can only heal so much.

Mingyu used to wish for little.

He had an okay apartment -- not luxurious by any means, but comfortable and in a relatively safe neighbourhood. He had a steady job -- journalism isn't exactly revered, especially in these times, but he likes what he does. He didn't mind not having met his soulmate yet -- most people never meet their soulmate, if they have one, and even then, it's not like everyone meets The One when they're teenagers like in the movies.

He felt so young, then, like he had all the time in the world before he met you.

Shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, Mingyu hovers his hand over the number pad next to the apartment building's gate. He can't just stand here for much longer when it's already dark out; he'll look like a creep. The numbers past his fingers look so intimidating, though. He remembers which ones he needs to press, (he has since the first time,) he just can't bring himself to... press them.

But he does, because he can't bring himself to not, either.

Mingyu presses his pinky knuckle into the number pad so he doesn't smear his own blood on it. Your voice comes crackly and broken through the speaker indented in the pylon next to the gate.

"Did you forget your key again?" you ask teasingly -- not for him.

Mingyu simply says, "It's me."

"Oh." Something rustles through the speaker, and your voice grows concerned. "Are you okay? Hold on, I'm buzzing you in."

The lock on the gate clicks open, and a low beep sounds when the connection up to your apartment cuts off. Mingyu sighs, uses his shoulder to push the gate open, and heads towards the staircase. Even though his sore muscles protest the extra exercise, his mind automatically chooses the stairs over the elevator. That would bring him to you faster. He doesn't want that.

Or, he doesn't want to want that.

He's tired, though, when he reaches your floor, too exhausted to remember what he wants and doesn't want when he raps his knuckles on your door. You open up immediately, a concerned frown marring your face as your eyes look Mingyu up and down.

"Cripes, Mingyu, what'd you do?"

His right cheek is all scraped up, still caked with a thin layer of blood and gravel from when he tumbled to the ground just an hour ago. His hands suffered a similar fate along with his right elbow, which he sacrificed to save his precious camera.

He shows you a weak smile. "I almost got them this time."

The tension in your shoulders deflates at his albeit misplaced nonchalance, and you roll your eyes, your signature smile returning to your lips. "Seriously? You're still trying to catch Red?"

"Not catch." Mingyu lifts his camera in one hand, snapping a candid picture of you. "Capture."

"Mingyu!" you whine, putting a hand up in front of your face much too late for it to matter. "Just get in here, you nerd." Putting your hand on his arm, you pull Mingyu into your apartment and shut the door behind him. He feels the connection wash over him immediately. It flows to his hands, then his elbow, then his cheek, an indescribable warmth that begins to make him feel dizzy. Or maybe that's just the effect you have on him. "Take a seat, take a seat. You look seriously banged up."

A groan slips out of him as he sits down on a chair you pulled out from where it was tucked under the kitchen table. "This is nothing. I'm pretty sure Red got shot tonight."

"Whoa." You sit across from him, your brows furrowing, which Mingyu doesn't pay as much attention to as the way you keep holding his hand on top of the table. You must feel the connection too, right? "You weren't all up in that action, were you?"

"Don't worry." Please keep worrying. "This all happened when I was trying to catch up to them after it all went down." Mingyu puts his camera down on the table and removes the lanyard from around his neck, gesturing at himself with his newly freed hand. "Stumbled over my own feet like usual."

You snort. "You couldn't catch up to Red even though they were shot? You never cease to amaze me, Mingyu."

"In a good way, right?"

"Believe what you want to believe," you tease, shrugging cartoonishly. The way your thumb rubs the back of Mingyu's hand has to be subconscious. He knows you would stop if you were aware. "I don't know if I've ever met someone as clumsy--"

The door to your apartment opens, and he calls your name.

"You'll never believe what Soonyoung--" Wonwoo's voice cuts off as soon as his eyes land on Mingyu, his hand still on the doorknob. He immediately takes in the sight; the dirt and dust on Mingyu's shins, the scratches all over Mingyu's face, the way his hand is held lightly in yours. He sighs. Closing the door, he slips his bag off his shoulder and toes off his shoes. He walks over to the table without a word, puts one hand lightly on your wrist and the other on Mingyu's, then pulls you two apart. Mingyu feels the loss of the soulmate connection like a splash of cold water, like all the oxygen has been sucked out of him in a millisecond, but he doesn't react -- tries not to, at least. You look up at Wonwoo, about to say something when he sighs again. "What'd we say about healing before cleaning?"

Eyes widening, you look at Mingyu's cheek, where his skin had started healing with bits of dirt and gravel still digging into the open wound. "Oh shit." You put both your hands up in the air even though you'd already stopped healing Mingyu with your touch, then turn back to Wonwoo with a sad pout. "How do I always manage to forget?"

With a little chuckle, Wonwoo smiles endearingly down at you and lightly flicks your forehead. "It's empty up here sometimes."

You scowl and shoo away his hand, pouting further at the way Wonwoo laughs louder. It's so effortless for him.

Mingyu already knew this.

Wonwoo flicks your forehead again, not nearly hard enough to warrant the way you rub where he hit and the glare you shoot into the back of his head as he turns to address Mingyu. "Let's get you cleaned up, bud," he says casually with a nod towards the kitchen sink.

Mingyu follows him without saying anything. Pulling out the well-used first aid kit from under the sink, Wonwoo goes through the motions with practised efficiency. As a pediatric nurse, and the partner to a very clumsy you, Wonwoo hasn't flinched at the sight of blood in many years. He picks out the gravel from Mingyu's cheek and hands, cleans his wounds with a damp cloth, and leaves the bandages in the kit. They aren't necessary for Mingyu with you around.

As Wonwoo starts putting everything left unused back into the kit, he smiles at Mingyu and gestures back to you at the table. Mingyu doesn't let himself resent the way he knows that smile is genuine. He returns to you at the table, sitting down in the same chair and watching you purse your lips out and pick at the skin around your fingernails.

"Sorry for being dumb..." you mutter.

"It's okay." Please reach out first. "I forgot too."

Huffing out a sigh, you meet his eyes and show off a cute, close-lipped smile. "Yeah, well... still sorry. Can I...?"

You reach both your hands across the table, palms up, and Mingyu feels the soulmate connection even before he places his hands on yours. It washes over him like ripples of flowing, sinking sand.

Mingyu lets himself get lost in the feeling only until Wonwoo returns from the kitchen counter and sits next to you, scooting his chair closer to yours and slinging an arm over your shoulders. You turn your head his way and smile, muttering quietly, "Thanks for making up for my dumbness." Just as you finish speaking, you press a small, sweet kiss against Wonwoo's lips.

Mingyu's hands stay still in yours.

Wonwoo smiles as soon as you pull away from each other, his eyes filled with something Mingyu has only ever observed. "Always," he whispers.

Mingyu swallows the feelings that threaten to rise up his throat like bile. He simply looks down at your joined hands, feeling guilty for being here during this moment between you and Wonwoo -- two people so... comfortable together. And when even just looking at your hands becomes too much, Mingyu focuses his eyes on the table between his elbows, counting the striations in the wood.

The connection works quickly on such superficial wounds.

It's a testament to the...

Mingyu shuts his eyes and opens them again.

...love shared between you and Wonwoo that even with Mingyu, your irrefutably proven soulmate, in your apartment, Wonwoo doesn't act the slightest bit jealous, the slightest bit threatened. He doesn't question you letting Mingyu in while he wasn't home; he doesn't ask why Mingyu felt the need to come to you for something as small as a few cuts and scrapes and bruises. Why he keeps coming back. He holds you close as you heal Mingyu with your touch, letting you lean your head in the crook between his shoulder and neck, and smiles over at Mingyu.

Genuinely.

"Feeling better?" he asks without a drip of malice in his voice.

Mingyu nods. Physically, it's the truth. In his heart, though, he knows he feels much, much worse than when he arrived.

You manoeuvre your hands to flip his over, a satisfied smile spreading over your lips when you see them perfectly healed, as if he never fell in the first place. "Would you look at that!" You lean forward off Wonwoo's shoulder and lift Mingyu's hands to show them off. "Looks like you're not the only doctor in this house."

Wonwoo scoffs playfully and rolls his eyes. "Yeah, if only you could heal yourself every time you get scraped up, you klutz."

Mingyu could heal you. Every time.

He says nothing.

You bump Wonwoo's shoulder with yours, laughing along with him.

Unable to bear you letting go first, Mingyu stands and slips his hands out of yours. The soulmate connection fades like the trill of a faraway train. He thanks you both with a small bow and an awkward smile, distracting his hands by hanging his camera back around his neck, then walks towards the door even though his heart screams at him to stay.

You follow him to the door like the good host you always strive to be, and as he steps out and pulls on his shoes, you stand in the open doorway, Wonwoo directly behind you with his arms wrapped around your middle and his chin propped on your shoulder. It's too cute to look at.

"Try not to get hurt out there again, Mingyu," you say with a smile. Wonwoo nods beside you. "I know you've gotta do what you gotta do to get pictures of Red, but you're no vigilante."

"I know." Mingyu puts both his hands in his pockets. They can't reach for you from in there. He turns his feet to point down the hallway to the elevator. "Goodnight." Please linger. "Wonwoo." He nods at the man clinging onto you like a koala.

"G'night, Mingyu." You stay where you are in the doorway, one hand holding Wonwoo's over your stomach, the other waving at Mingyu.

Is it better that you linger or does it only hurt him more?

He presses the 'down' button on the wall, and only seconds pass before the elevator arrives and opens. He enters, takes a breath, and turns around to face the hallway.

Before you, Mingyu didn't used to wish for much.

He had a nice place. He had a nice job. He didn't know if or when he'd ever meet his soulmate.

You linger in the doorway. In Wonwoo's arms.

You wave again as the elevator door closes.

Mingyu makes many requests of the universe now. Please keep worrying. Please reach out first. Please don't let go.

He doesn't wish he'd never met his soulmate. He can't bring himself to wish that.

But it's impossible not to wonder.

What would his life be like if he met you when you weren't already in love with someone else?

set in the Silk Touches and Mended Hearts universe

[froizetta]

Since it's WIP Wednesday, I've decided to post an excerpt from a longer WIP to motivate myself to write it! If it's technically on the internet, I can't just not finish it, can I? Right??? Fingers crossed I can make this a regular thing with other WIPs...

So anyway, here's part of chapter 1 from my early-career superbat identity porn fic!

“The thing you’ve gotta remember,” Jimmy said firmly with a slightly overenthusiastic wave of his jack and coke. A little bit of liquid sloshed out onto the countertop. “The thing you gotta remember. Is.” He blinked. “Ah, cripes. What was it again?”

Clark absently took a sip of his own drink. The whisky was at least a pleasant burn in his throat, even if it wasn’t exactly his favorite flavor. “Gee, I don’t think I can help you with that, Jim.”

Jimmy beamed. “Oh yeah! The thing you’ve gotta remember is, that there’re plenty of fish in the sea.”

Clark couldn’t quite suppress the wry quirk to his smile. “Wow. That’s some original advice right there.”

“No, but for real though!” Jimmy insisted, slamming an emphatic fist on the table. “Just. So many fish. A whole ocean! Of women! And, uh, also not women!”

“That does sound like a lot of people.”

“Exactly,” Jimmy said, nodding sagely. “You’ve just gotta widen your net, is all. To more than, like, one fish-woman.”

Ah, yes. Clark was honestly a little surprised it had taken him five drinks to bring it up. Apparently, Jimmy had needed some Dutch courage before embarking on the ‘romance advice’ portion of the evening.

Clark could humor him on it, at least. “You mean Lois?” he asked.

“Yeah I mean Lois! Don’t get me wrong, Lois is great. But she’s just one fish,” Jimmy said emphatically. “Like, sure, maybe she’s a really cool fish. Like… Like koi or something. Koi are actually pretty amazing, did you know they—” He paused and then shook his head. “Wait, no, this isn’t the time for fun fish facts. What I mean is, just because koi are cool, doesn’t mean there aren’t equally cool salmon. Or tuna. Don’t let the koi blind you to all the…the really hot tuna around you. You know?”

Jimmy looked concerningly pleased with his increasingly labored metaphor. Clark charitably chose to blame this on the alcohol rather than Jimmy’s abilities as a writer. “Maybe you’re right, Jim. I guess it’s pretty silly to be so stuck on her, huh?”

Jimmy frowned. “Well, I wouldn’t say that. I think you guys would be great together, you know that.”

“I’m not sure her new fella would agree with you,” he said. Embarrassingly, the glumness in his tone wasn’t entirely feigned.

“Don’t be so pessimistic,” Jimmy said insistently. “We don’t know that it’s like that. Maybe it’s just a pity date?”

It wasn’t just a pity date, Clark was pretty sure about that. Lois had been wearing the perfume she wore whenever she wanted to impress someone. And yes, that was a creepy thing to notice, but he couldn’t help it, okay? Super-senses make a lot of things really hard to ignore.

He shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s none of my business anyway. I know she doesn’t see me that way, and that’s fine.” And it was. He knew that to Lois, he was just a coworker – and a bumbling, awkward, country bumpkin of one at that. Even though he definitely hammed up the act to create distance between Clark Kent and Superman, the real Clark Kent still wasn’t the kind of guy who would appeal to someone like Lois. She’d want someone classy and sophisticated. Someone like her.

Probably someone like whatever guy she was on a date with right now, in fact.

“And, I mean… it's Lois,” he added, as neutrally as he could manage. “She’s out of most people’s leagues. It’s not— I mean, I never really thought I had a shot with her, you know? So I’m not about to get all bent out of shape because of one date. Honest.”

Apparently, this wasn’t what Jimmy had wanted to hear, at least judging by the way his face fell. “What? No no no, that’s not what I— Look, I’m not trying to say you don’t have a chance there. In fact, I think she’d be lucky to date you. But what I mean is, it’s not the end of the world if she doesn’t see that. You’re an awesome dude! I just think you deserve to be happy, with or without Lois.”

“Oh,” Clark said, then blinked and ducked his head, taken aback by how hard that had hit him. Jimmy really was a great friend. He suddenly felt guilty for spending their evening together daydreaming about eating pizza on his couch. “Shucks, Jim, that’s…that’s real nice of you to say.”

“I’m not being ‘nice’, I’m being honest. Listen veeery closely, Clark.” Jimmy set his glass down and grasped Clark around the shoulders, looking him straight in the eye.

Clark tensed. “Um. What’s happening.”

“Shush,” Jimmy said. “You’re listening.”

“I am?”

“You are. Now focus and take this in. Really internalize it.” His gaze was a little unsteady, but still intense and undoubtedly sincere. “You – Clark Kent – are a bona fide catch.”

Clark couldn’t help but let out a snort of laughter. It would be easier to take Jimmy seriously if he wasn’t starting to slur his words. “A ‘catch’? Are we still on the fish metaphor?”

Jimmy blinked. “What? No, no. Look, you’re smart, you’re a successful reporter. You’re probably the nicest guy I know. And you’re tall, like…what, 6’1”? 6’2”?”

“Something like that,” Clark half-lied with an easy smile.

“Yeah, so. Tall. Trust me, as a short guy, that’s a big plus. Everyone loves tall guys. You’re, you know, the tall, dark and handsome type. Like Superman!”

His smile froze. “Oh?”

“Yeah! Chicks love Superman. Not saying you look much like him, of course—”

“Of course,” Clark agreed.

“—but you’ve got, like. A similar appeal.” He squinted up at Clark. “You know, I’m not the best judge for this type’a thing, but if I feel like you’d clean up real nice if you made the effort.”

“Hm. I dunno, Jim…”

Jimmy was insistent. “You could change up your style, maybe. You ever tried contacts?”

“I’m afraid they don’t really agree with me,” Clark said apologetically. Which was true, in a sense. The glasses were pretty integral to the whole secret identity thing, after all.

“Shame,” Jimmy said, finally letting go of Clark to lean back. But as he did, something over Clark’s shoulder caught his eye. He grinned. “Oh, hey, my first piece of evidence that you’re a catch: I’m 90% sure that guy is checking you out right now.”

“What?” Clark said and made to look behind him.

Before he could turn, Jimmy grabbed his face in both hands. “Shhhhh!” Jimmy said urgently, even though Clark wasn’t saying anything. “You can’t just look. That’s waaay too obvious.”

Clark was pretty sure Jimmy was being more obvious than looking himself would have been, but he stayed obligingly still while Jimmy peered over his shoulder at the mystery man.

“Okay,” Jimmy said eventually. “So I’m not great at telling when guys are hot, but I’m pretty sure this guy is hot. And, again, definitely into you. I’m 95% sure.”

“I thought it was 90%?”

“Sure, but I’ve accumulula… accumama…” He frowned and shook his head. “I’ve got more evidence since then, see? So I’m surer now!”

In retrospect, he probably should have insisted on Jimmy eating something more substantial than bar snacks over the last couple hours. “Sure, Jim,” he said gently. “It’s, uh, getting pretty late, though. Maybe we should head home soon?”

“It’s—” Jimmy squinted his watch and balked. “It’s only 10:30, so no way! I’ve got a new mission now, and it’s to wingman you with this probably hot guy. Trust me, I’m a great wingman.”

Clark raised an eyebrow. “Are you? What would you even do?”

“You know, the usual. Hey, have you met my friend Clark? He’s like 6’2” and a hotshot reporter at a big newspaper. And then I just slide out—” he made a slow swoop with his hand “—and just like that, bam! Take that, Lois! Clark’s got a hot date of his own!”

Clark raised the other eyebrow. “That’s…not particularly subtle.”

“Well, subtlety isn’t a part of the Olsen Wingman Experience. But it works!” Jimmy said brightly. “I even managed to wingman my ex-girlfriend while we were still dating, although that was mostly an accident. But it was still very effective. Thanks to that, I know for sure it works.”

“Oh!” Clark said. And then frowned. “Oh. I’m, uh. I’m sorry to hear that. Do you wanna talk about—”

“Nope,” Jimmy said firmly, decisively. “Tonight isn’t about my borderline traumatizing romantic history, tonight is about you. You and this totally hot guy who I’m, like, 99% sure is into you.”

“Mm. I see you’ve accumulated more evidence.”

“Yeah, actually! I—” Jimmy’s eyes widened. “Okay, crap. It’s 100% now. He’s coming over here.”

Clark blinked. He’d been half-convinced Jimmy had just been imagining things, but… “He is?”

“He is! Just be cool, okay?”

“Jim,” he began in protest, but before he could say anything else there was a presence at his back. Clark turned to greet the stranger. And stared. Because— Huh. Huh?

Either those whiskies had been a lot more effective on him than he’d thought, or that was Bruce Wayne leaning ever-so-casually against the bar next to him.

[snazzy-suit]

July Update!

...has it really been a month since I posted the teaser for the next LLoG AU installment? Cripes, time flies.

Anyway, I thought I'd give a little update on how the next story entry is going. It's turning into something longer than anticipated, as is my wont, but it hasn't gone off the rails like "Hey! Creatures! Leave Them Kids Alone!" did. Chapter 9 will be two chapters (I will yeet myself into traffic if it gets to three 🙃). Here's what we're looking at currently:

Chapter 9 - The Comedy of Barriers

Part 1 - Draft Complete. Awaiting Review. Current word count: 7,985

Part 2 - 70% Complete. Current word count: 3,686

Travel, illness, and now cosplay prep for a convention have slowed production significantly, but I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things after this weekend. I may post another snippet in a week or so, this time from part 1 (the last snippet was from part 2). We'll just have to see~

[midwestbramble]

Winter Solstice

"Hold on, hold on through the darkness until dawn" - Starhawk

I've celebrated the winter solstice my entire life... well if you count my dad's birthday falling on the same day almost every year. The winter solstice is the longest night of the year and the shortest day. For me, that means I get just six hours of sunlight, but many more see fewer or none at all. It's important to take in as much of that sunlight as possible, for both our mental and physical health, as well as staying warm.

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Content:

Lights

Greeting the Sun

Hikes

Cooking

Conclusion

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Lights

Decorating the outside with lights is a very common sight in the United States at this time of year, but finding a way to light up the darkness. Instead of using our big overhead lights, we will plug in the lights on the tree and any others strewn about the house, along with a candle or two with a wintery theme. My oldest is still young enough to be weary of the dark (my youngest has no concept of being "scared of the dark" yet) so we hang as many lights as we can to help him get through it.

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Greeting the Sun

In the morning, I head out to the fire pit before the sun comes up. My practice has evolved over the years to what it is now but this little ritual has stayed in some form with me since the beginning. The first solstice I celebrated as a witch I bought the book "Yule: Rituals, Recipes, and Lore for the Winter Solstice" and have changed the solitary ritual from it to fit my practice as it changed. The basics are that I sit out by the fire pit, in the stillness and the dark, waiting for the sun to rise (this is a great time to meditate or think deeply about the earth without the sun and the coldness of the night). Once it begins to come up, I rise myself and begin to light the fire (which always takes me longer than I would like) and begin to dance around it; as a way to celebrate the sun itself and to warm up! You can add music to this, such as Winter Solstice by Donata or chants like We Are the Rising Sun. Often I'll just sing what comes to me in the moment, one year I added külning as the sun was coming but not yet above the horizon (a nod to my Scandinavian ancestors); that was a treat for the neighbors.

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Hikes

I haven't had the chance to go for hikes as much as I like to, I usually try for once a week but recently it seems like I'm only able to get out once a month. I find it even more important in the winter for me to get out and hike, not only to keep the connection to the land but to also keep my body moving. It's easy to become sedentary in the winter, and there's nothing wrong with that (it's winter for cripes), however if I stay in the house for too long I start to get a little down and a bit stir crazy.

Hiking in the winter, I tend to see things that I forget are still around. Such as song birds that don't fly south for the winter. I'll never forget the winter I crested a hill at the same time as a herd of deer, surprising each other. That was the first time I heard what noise deer make. It also challenges me to come up with environmentally safe winter offerings, often I'll choose to leave native seeds (just in case they end up being left until spring).

But on the Winter Solstice itself, a hike can be another reminder of how little time we have. The light is short and I can't get everything done. I have to at least call my dad to say happy birthday, get kids fed their lunch (though this year my husband doesn't work!), etc. So usually I end up going near the end of the allotted sunlight. The sunset on the snow, no matter how little we have, is quite the sight when you're among the trees and everything is quiet.

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Cooking

Once back from the hike, it's time for a warm meal. Beef stew is a fun one as I get to use garden produce and the beef broth I made. Any of the vegetables that don't get eaten are shared with house and garden spirits. Hot coco for the kids (with marshmallows) and cider for the adults (and it ain’t cider without a touch of whiskey). Baking and decorating cookies comes over the next few days as we prepare for Santa’s visit.

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Conclusion

I have a dual faith family, so we keep a lot of the Santa traditions to Christmas day but our Yuletide traditions in general start here at the Winter Solstice. I am lucky that I have a job where most of the time we are closed from this time until after new years, which fits perfectly with my celebrations. How do you celebrate the winter solstice?

[clarajohnson]

the magicians s1e9

not enough said about quentin addressing his reply to "j," not julia, not jules. did they call each other q and j. did they really decide to hurt me like that.

i find richard and his world so interesting and i wish he stuck around longer

"they get mean and take everything away"

again i just think alice is the most wonderful character, interjecting q's rambling to push toward a solution (so you lost something, what do you do when you lose something?), almost instantly as familiar with q's fillory as he is himself. i really struggle, at this point, to buy into their relationship but i totally think they're on the same wavelength.

"i'm literally becoming less cool with every word you speak" penny is very funny actually

i like that julia fucking up quentin's brain turns into "experienced in mental projection" like yeah this guy stabbed me two weeks ago he's got experience in surgery

"no, not a question, more of a correction"

eliot's little "shall we proceed, criminal element?" whew!

it's so wild how q sits down at plover's desk and he immediately starts opening up, like we literally get his first "my brain breaks sometimes" because he's just suddenly so emotional he has to contextualize himself

christopher plover is a very interesting character. i like when they deal with him, i'm not sure they even grapple with him enough.

do we know what julia went to school for? like regular school i mean. was it business?

love the fillory map i love it i love it i love it so much

martin is also a very interesting character! shit's fucked.

me every time plover is on screen: haha it's the guy from the nanny! oh mr. sheffield!

the way alice cares for/about beatrix kind of fucks me up

the world never did help a smart girl why would it!

cripes i forgot about the assisted suicide stuff with richard. i say it again! really interesting character!

guys was there a third chatwin kid or did i fully invent that. no i will not google.

this is such a good eliot episode

julia has chemistry with fuckin everybody. good for her. good for her!

never let it be said that the magicians won't fuck around with a gross dead body

yeah yes alice and children is an intriguing thread. girl hates arbitrary suffering! she loves to believe in a solution!

also alice's way of processing strong emotions being sitting ramrod straight with her arms crossed and refusing comfort... character of ALL TIME.

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Smiler's Otherland -- Outfits!

Time to cover what Smiler's wearing during all these adventures in Alice's Wonderland, Victor's Otherland, and their own Otherland! My attitude toward their various outfits can be summed up thusly --

AAAAAAAAH WHY DID I GIVE EVERYBODY SO MANY DOMAINS WHY DID I DO VICTOR VERSIONS OF ALICE'S DLC STUFF NOW I FEEL OBLIGED TO DO THEM FOR SMILER TOO SO MANY FUCKING OUTFITS AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

*coughs* Uh, yes -- got rather a lot to get through here! ^^; And I fully admit that I am struggling to come up with an outfit for every domain and situation -- as indicated above, it's a lot of fucking outfits! Especially when you remember that I also have to do outfits for Alice and Victor for Smiler's domains... *facepalm* Anyway, here's what I have settled on for the time being:

Smiler's Outfits:

Smiler's Own Otherland --

Smile Always: The equivalent of Alice's "Classic" blue dress, this is what Smiler wears in their own Smile Street domain, as well as any domain in Alice's Wonderland or Victor's Otherland that doesn't prompt a unique outfit (such as the Vale of Tears or the Living Dead Forest). It's a yellow-and-black-striped suit (think the variant Beetlejuice suit (courtesy of @the-crypt-o-club) my Smiler Van Liddelton Sim sometimes wears in their vampiric dark form -- actually, don't think that, let me just show you:

Cripes, remember when Smiler used to live in Britechester? This is a blast from the past...)

Anyway, yes -- yellow-and-black-striped suit jacket and pants like the above; black waistcoat with decorative yellow stitching; a yellow-black-and-white spiral tie (picture one of the eyes of The Smiler logo overlaid on a tie); white shirt; and black shoes with yellow laces. They are basically the exit tunnel from The Smiler coaster in human form. :p Oh, yeah, and if their eyes don't naturally glow bright yellow, they do now! Which holds true for all of their Wonderland outfits.

Neurological Reprogram: The outfit for their X-Sector domain, based off of Dr. Gladwell's outfit from the Smiler Takeover "Fear Test!" Gladwell's outfit, for reference, is a white labcoat that buttons up in the front (in a kind of wrap-around style, though it doesn't go very far around), a white shirt, a black-and-white-striped tie, black pants, black shoes, and yellow glasses. Smiler's outfit is very similar in make, but is a little more colorful, as is their wont -- a yellow wrap-around labcoat; a white shirt; a yellow-and-black-striped tie; black-and-white-striped pants; black shoes; and yellow spiral goggles. Gotta lean into that yellow!

Let Me Entertain You: The outfit for their Musical Mayhem domain, based off Felix E. Lated's outfit from the Celebration Stage! Felix's outfit, for reference, is a glittery yellow jacket, a yellow shirt, a black-and-white-striped bow tie, black pants, and white shoes. Once again, Smiler's outfit is similar in make, but has a bit more color and a few more patterns -- a slightly longer glittery yellow coat (going down to about the top of Smiler's thighs) covered in sequined black and white spirals; a yellow shirt; a rainbow-striped bow tie; black pants with white stripes; and white shoes with yellow laces. Because they gotta stand out on that stage. :p

Ministry: The outfit for their Sanctuary domain, which in this case doesn't have a specific inspiration (though it is supposed to have Kelman vibes, at least) -- a pale gray suit jacket and pants; a white shirt; a slightly darker gray waistcoat; a white tie with the Sanctuary Logo stitched on it in black; and black shoes. Basically, this outfit is meant to be completely clinical and colorless, which Smiler absolutely hates. But well, this is the suit that goes with the domain where all their fears and anxieties live, so why should it be something Smiler LIKES?

Alice's Wonderland --

Splashdown: Smiler's Deluded Depths outfit! This is an old-timey bathing costume like the one Victor wears, only Smiler's top is more like a tank top, and their shorts are shorter, as they're more comfortable showing more skin. The suit has alternating black, white, and yellow stripes, with the yellow stripes glowing. And instead of Victor's seaweed tie and waistcoat, they have a straw boater hat dyed black with a yellow hatband, attached to them with a black chin strap -- so it can be worn on their head or left to float slightly behind their neck. Nice and summery for the waters of Wonderland!

Fifty-Two Pickup: Smiler's Queensland outfit -- and for those of you who remember the first "Sharp-Dressed Victor" post and are like "wait, isn't that the name of Victor's Queensland outfit?" -- well, Smiler's stealing the name because I feel it suits them better. XD (I'm trying to come up with a new name for Victor's outfit -- "Aces Wild" sounds good...) Anyway, it's a dark purple suit jacket and pants; a white shirt; a dark yellow waistcoat with decorative purple stitching; a white tie with the card suits embroidered on it in red and black stitching; and black shoes with purple laces. Figured this one would be a good one to lean into the purple with, given that "royal purple" is a thing.

Advocate: Smiler's Dollhouse outfit! The inspiration behind this one are the various costumes the actual ride employees wear, because I figured it wouldn't be hard to put a more "kiddie" spin on those. As such, the outfit consists of yellow overalls over a black-and-white-striped shirt; black-and-white-striped high socks; and purple shoes just for fun. Very bright, and something I could see a young Smiler wearing under the right circumstances.

Hysterical: Smiler's "Hysteria Mode" outfit! Yes, they get access to Hysteria Mode, though in their case they're not so much bloody as they are glitchy -- the inspiration for this suit is the static and glitches that show up in the various Marmaliser videos and the Smiler Shop TV. We have a white suit speckled all over with lots of little multicolored squares (black, gray, yellow, red, green, and blue) that are meant to look like pixel-y static, with larger concentrations on the left shoulder and right leg; a matching white waistcoat with more squares sprinkled across it; a white shirt; and black shoes. Their eyes also become full black-white-yellow spirals, like in The Smiler logo, with yellow "blood" leaking down their cheeks, and their grin stretches PAINFULLLY wide across their face. Their weapons all end up splattered with yellow and purple "blood" as well -- and as indicated in the Weapons post, this is the only time any of them do direct damage, instead of just stunning enemies or turning them over to Smiler's side. Basically, Smiler is Laughing Mad when they're in this state -- best to give them their space!

Victor's Otherland --

Paintbrush Person -- Smiler's Sketchbook World outfit! Which, as you might imagine, is inspired by a paintbrush. XD Look, Victor's suit for this world is inspired by his sketchbook, while Alice's dress is inspired by the pencil she favors for sketching -- I had to keep to the theme! (And yes, after realizing I called Victor's suit "Paperman," I decided Alice's dress had to be "Pencil Girl," and thus...) Though I partly chose a paintbrush because it was an easy way to get some yellow tones into the outfit -- gotta keep on theme there too. Anyway, this is a suit with a golden jacket and waistcoat (to represent the metal "ferrule" that holds the bristles); a black shirt with a pinstripe pattern (for the bristles themselves); a tie that's all multicolored splotches like paint splatter; black pants patterned with grey swirls to suggest wood grain (for the actual handle); and black shoes.

Still In Progress --

Hatter's Domain: This is one of the outfits I've been struggling with, since -- well, as seen above, Smiler already has a "tech domain" outfit for their own Otherland, and I wanted to make this one distinct. The best option I've come up with so far is to base it off of the magician from Meet The Ministry, since that's guy's black outfit with the long black coat actually matches Alice's Steamdress and Victor's Steamsuit aesthetically the most. (Though I imagine Smiler's will have yellow worked into it -- maybe a yellow shirt or waistcoat?). I also don't know what I'm going to call it -- feels like it should be Steam-something, but... *shrug*

The Mysterious East: I have no idea what I'm going to do with this one -- I guess by necessity it would have to look like Victor's jacket and pants, and I could probably do purple silk with yellow, black, and white patterns, but I don't know what those patterns would be and how to make their version more unique. Hmmm...

The Butterfly Jungle: I almost know what I want to do with this one -- I want it to be based off Sir Algernon (or possibly Sir Algenon, I've seen both spellings), the explorer character who's become a kind of mascot for Alton Towers, and call the outfit "Sir Algie." I'm just having a little trouble pulling it all together -- especially since there's two distinct looks to work with. The Sir A animatronic on the airship in the Alton Towers hotel sports a classic flight cap with a propeller on it and a pilot's brown jacket with a fuzzy collar; while the Sir A performer is a much more classic steampunky gentleman, with a long brown coat, a waistcoat, and a fancy top hat (along with long flowing curly locks). I really like the propeller flight cap for Smiler, and the waistcoat -- I KIND OF want the jacket as well, but I worry that it'll be too hot for the Jungle. Just something I need to think about more.

The Magic Tower: I really don't know what this one will look like yet, I just know that purple and yellow swirls are a MUST. Though, thinking about it, I always have them as having a love for chemistry, so maybe something that makes people think "alchemist?" Hmmmm...

Orchestralia: Another outfit where the problem is "they have their own musical domain and thus their own musical domain outfit, so how do I make this one distinct from that?" Looking at Victor and Alice's stuff, I went with "stripes and musical notes" as a key theme for both -- maybe Smiler has something similar, only their stripes and notes are at an angle or otherwise a bit wonky? And their version would definitely have to be more colorful... Pondering continues!

Victor And Alice's Outfits:

Updates To Previous Outfits --

Beloved(s): Okay, so -- you know how I've been calling Victor's blue suit that matches Alice's dress "Classic" or "Alice Classic?" Well, I had a brainwave a little while ago, and decided that it should instead be "Beloved" to reflect the fact that he's dressing like his beloved. :) And thus, when he's in a situation where he's with Alice AND Smiler, the suit changes to "Beloveds," and gains elements to reflect both of them! Basically what I was thinking is that the suit jacket and pants stay Alice blue, and the shirt white, but Victor now has a yellow waistcoat, yellow socks, and a tie that has a smoky yellow-and-purple swirl pattern on it. And their tie clip is now a silver A and a golden S joined together. All of it reflecting just how much he loves both of them. <3

Smiler's Otherland --

Joytide: Alice's X-Sector dress, based on the outfit the Agent Joytide actors wore in the Fear Test! Because if Smiler's got the Gladwell look going on... It's sort of like the Dollhouse dress when it comes to the basic fit, but the top is black leather with big yellow buttons, while the skirt is yellow and black plaid patches that don't really line up with each other. Her boots also get yellow laces, and her eye shadow turns yellow, natch.

Agent: Victor's X-Sector suit, based on the outfits of the wandering Ministry agents during the Takeover! It's a nice simple black suit with a bright yellow shirt; a black-and-white-striped tie; a spiral-patterned yellow and black waistcoat; yellow socks; and black shoes. Oh, and sunglasses if appropriate. :p I thought the look suited him well.

Get Corrected: Alice's Sanctuary dress, based off -- well. Based off the straitjacket "dress" she gets in the Rutledge section of Alice: Madness Returns, because Sanctuary is a horrible asylum along those same lines! Though, at least in THIS dress, Alice has her arms free if she needs to fight... The outfit itself is a drab, off-white, sleeveless gown with a limp skirt hanging down just below her knees, and a bunch of black leather belts around the bodice, secured in the back, with the Sanctuary logo stitched above her right breast in black. Her signature omega is tied around her neck with a fraying string. Oh, and no boots -- much like in the Rutledge hallucination, she has to go barefoot. I'm sure she's thrilled. :p

Cedars: Victor's Sanctuary suit, based off the outfits of the male patients in Alice's Rutledge hallucination! And also the kind of stuff Miles Cedars was wearing during his time as Kelman's patient in the Smile Always series, hence the name. It's a dull gray t-shirt top with the Sanctuary logo stitched over the right side of his chest, and matching dull gray drawstring pants that don't QUITE reach his ankles. And yes, again, no shoes for the "patient." Someone get these people some socks at least, I'm sure those floors are cold.

Still In Progress --

Musical Mayhem: The only thing I know right now about Victor and Alice's outfits for this domain is that they'll have to be glittery to match Smiler's. I suspect Alice will be in something blue and white, but I'm not sure exactly what the dress will look like yet...and Victor's suit is a complete mystery. I'll come up with something, I'm sure, but I need to think about it some more.

Whew -- yeah, it is a lot, isn't it? And I haven't even finished all the domains yet...or done Smiler versions of the A:MR DLC dresses. *thunks head against desk* Basically, expect an update to this post at some point in the future, once I've puzzled a few more things out.

[threshasketch]

Wow, so apparently today is the 8th anniversary of me starting this art blog. I started Threshasketch in the September of 2015, and my main blog the year before in June.

In that time, I've gone through drawing OCs, fanart for numerous fandoms, traditional style line work and pencil sketches, digital line work and coloring, painting photo-real style, and so, so many chibi art pieces. Art has been my rock through some really hard times in my life. Posting cute chibis to brighten somebody else's day helped brighten mine.

Since 2015, my country has gone through three different presidencies, the world has gone through (and is still quietly going through) a global pandemic, and I've gone through years of struggling. Most of that struggling has been in the past 5 years, but boy does 5 years sound like a lot of time to be struggling for basic living things like heat and food.

Things were really bad just a few years ago. At one point I only had electricity four hours per day, because I couldn't afford gas for the generator. I uploaded digital art because "scanning" (taking pics of on my phone) traditional line art was hard when the place I was living was so dark. Patreon and art commissions were the only reason I had money for food on many occasions.

I've had to move three different times in the past four years. I got rid of or lost a lot of my belongings to live in a small space. Had to deal with rats in my living space twice in as many years. Had to take my 23-year-old cat to the vet to pass peacefully AND help my parents take their little dog with heart failure to the vet to pass peacefully in the same year.

Did I mention I had major abdominal surgery this summer with months of recovery time? Yeah. That actually went really smoothly. I didn't realize how bad my health was getting for the past few years because it was a gradual problem, but I was exhausted all the time, unable to do much physical activity, and super anemic. Just passed the two month mark since surgery, and am feeling so much better it's shocking remembering how bad off I was before. Cripes, I should have done this years ago.

So why, if art has been a coping method for me, has this blog had barely any updates for years? Well, I overextended myself on art commissions, which made my art escapism into a pressure thing. It's nobody's fault but my own, but several of those commissions did not get finished, and that made art into a guilty thing, so I sort of...shut myself down on Tumblr, because drawing for fun seemed wrong when somebody was waiting on me to finish their art piece. So I stopped drawing at all for a long while. That helped nobody—it just made it so that I wasn't warmed up enough to draw the commissions, either.

I'm just now getting to where I'm financially able to reach out to the people who paid me for commissions and refund them. I've refunded several already. If you are one of my art commission customers, you'll be hearing from me, I promise. I haven't forgotten you, I have every commission I ever took in a list saved on my computer.

Speaking of financially able, I'm no longer supporting myself with art and Patreon alone. For most of The Pandemic Years I've been pouring all of my creative energy into becoming a full-time indie erotica author. I write my own stories, I paint my own covers, I do everything myself. It's the most fun job I've ever had, honestly, and it's paying my bills. ♥

I've managed to build it up into a monthly income somehow, and this winter is looking a lot less terrible than last winter. In general, my living situation is now stable, the roof doesn't leak, the lights all work, hell I even have a functioning shower and the ability to have running hot water.

Anyway, yeah. It's been a rough go of it, and this art blog has been around through it all. I got a new art tablet for my birthday, and drawing feels like being carefree again. Here's to many more years of art. ♥

[plumberpower]

@emptyzone (Peppino) Liked for a Starter!

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎Peace in the Mushroom Kingdom wasn't often long-lived. For such a friendly looking place, there were a great number of dangers that could catch the unwise and uninitiated unwise off-guard. Fall down the wrong Warp Pipe? Who knows where you could pop up at! Go strolling in a field of flowers? You might find a Piranha Plant trying to take a bite at you for just about stepping on its stem...

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎Or, if you're the hapless and unsuspecting sort, an ambush waiting on the roads to town just may be what's awaiting you. And by the sound of shrill screams peppering the road to Toad Town, that was precisely what today had in store for some unfortunate fellow! Lucky for them...

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎Super Mario was already on the case! It hits the ear too familiarly, yet unfamiliar at the same time. Call it morbid, but he knew the shouts and wails of Toads quite well, and this holler was anything but the same timbre. In the same breath, he could hear the calls of Koopas not too far off in the distance. He didn't know the reason they were attacking, but move it, plumber! Things were only going to turn toward the uglier the longer you dawdled!

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎A bounding leap punched red and blue décor to the sky, a silhouette framed by a blazing sun as a backdrop. That famed jump took its wielder into what felt like the atmosphere, only for the drop of brown boots to collide hard and fast with a turtle's shell once a body returned from orbit! Boot the shell off into the far-off distance, turn to the rest of the crowd, and roar!

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎"Hey, you Koopa creeps! Get a hint and get outta here before-a Mario...!"

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎...Cripes. Eyes focus up and acknowledge the scene instead of the sound. A Koopa Troopa is getting completely trounced, they're grabbed and hit with a gigaton punch straight into the sky, shining sparkle and all. The next is suplexed with reckless abandon, the in line shrieking in fear as it's headbutted into a line of three other fleeing turtles.

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎Huh. A scratch to the side of the head as a cap was lifted slightly. Was he sure he was hearing the man's screams? Or was it their screams. Haven above.

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎Steps start their approach as the 'fight' was finished faster than it had started, leaving the plumber with the handle of his trusty hammer stowed instead of brandished. Instead, a water bottle was produced as an offering... looked like they needed it, what with all of the sweat the chef-hatted harbinger of pain was accumulating. And it was held out at a... slight distance. Didn't want to get caught in that aggro storm, no sir.

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎"Yowza. They're-a gonna be feelin' that in the mornin'. That Koopa Troop is filled with some serious troublemakers no doubt, but what'd they do to get that far on-a your bad side?"

[toxics-sims-adventures]

Decided to categorize what I think are the most invasive packs (that I own) in ts4. Updated 1-18-24

Explanations under the cut:

~STAY OUT OF MY GAME FILES:

BUST THE DUST. Unlike Laundry Day where the laundry mechanic won’t activate without a laundry basket or the laundry machines/washtub and clothesline, you have to buy the vacuums to make your sims clean up the dust overlay on your floors and remove the dust bunnies. Apparently there’s a setting to turn it all off, but I don’t want this kit even looking at my game files.

~INCREDIBLY INVASIVE: These packs impact gameplay heavily.

THE BASE GAME is needed to play TS4 at all so I just threw it into incredibly invasive for laughs.

ECO LIFESTYLE causes the most annoying effect of turning my neighborhoods into industrial hellscapes just because most of Oasis Springs uses plaster and stucco and Willow Creek uses plastic siding. If I turn it off in settings though, I can’t remove the industrial cloud over Evergreen Harbor. NAPs make people litter my neighborhoods in junk items that I can’t just pick up and delete because it’s not part of my lot, or I end up with the most active kleptomaniacs in any game since my days in the Sims 1 where I’d literally build a treasure vault maze to punish the burglars. I have to turn off NPC voting just to make them all stop. I still get constant notifications from each voting cycle saying something won even though absolutely no votes went through and there’s no actual NAP put into place but still. High key annoying.

GROWING TOGETHER adds gameplay to infants to make them less bland than the base game version of infants, annoyingly kind of necessary to have any actual fun raising them. And consequences. If you raise an infant poorly or don’t spend enough time teaching them skills like sitting up and crawling, they get a negative trait just like with parenthood. But the most important feature of it besides adding gameplay majorly for Infants and minorly for Children and Elders, is the extra ‘learned traits’ mechanic added to the game. No longer are we constrained to only three traits for Young Adult/Adult/Elder sims! But you will get a bunch of annoying popups for your sim’s new preferences, such as liking or hating complaints or negative traited sims. Your sim who’s a slob can also get a trait change option pop up to ask if you want to make your sim neat now that you’ve been torturing them with the household chores.

PARENTHOOD. You cannot escape the character values. They effect every toddler, child and teen, like it or not. You constantly receive school projects in the offspring’s inventory even if you don’t want them. If there was an option to turn it off at the expense of getting the bonus traits, this would drop straight into only invasive with interaction.

MY WEDDING STORIES replaces the wedding party. Gone is the simple day of decorating Willow Creek’s cherry blossom park with an arch, a piano and a bar to get an easy progression through your soulmate aspiration. Without mods anyway.

WEREWOLVES. A lot of that Werewolves invasiveness happens because either Greg decides to suddenly visit Oasis Springs for ZERO reason and scares everyone on my street, or because Jake Volkov keeps coming to Copperdale High in full fury furry mode and makes everyone run screaming from the classroom. Like, dude, just stay home, call in sick, take the mental health day. Cripes. (There’s a setting in the menu now to keep the werewolves in Moonwood Mills while transformed, but they can show up in places while still having temperaments that can result in unwanted transformations. Like going to a nightclub and having the sensitive hearing temperament, which will make them enrage quickly.)

~Moderately Invasive: These packs can affect gameplay pretty often

SEASONS adds weather to all worlds. You can turn most of it off though, the only weather you can’t avoid is sunny and cloudy days. It also adds temperature effects to Sims, but you can turn that off completely in the menu if you’re tired of sims overheating or freezing to death. Other than the seasonal life cycle of plants from gardening, which can only be subverted with indoor greenhouses or a pot in your sims living room to shelter the plant, the other thing Seasons does that would be considered annoyingly invasive would be the holidays. Even if you turn off all the major holidays preset in the pack, Love Day, Harvestfest, etc.  by deleting them from the calendar, you’ll still get random holidays popping up that keep coming back (without a mod to disable it) like the lottery or fight a sim day, which if you refuse to participate in can give your sim a sad buff depending on their traits.

GET FAMOUS adds the fame system. Everything you do can effect your sims fame level making their lives easier or harder. You can however step out of the spotlight so your painter monkey doesn’t get famous in the basement. (I have never made a painter monkey in the basement but some of you do and I’m as intrigued as I am terrified of you all.) BUT Get Famous also has a reputation system that you CAN’T turn off. Every friendly action/new friend you make will change your reputation positively and every mean interaction/enemy you make will change your reputation negatively. You can end up with a beloved or beloathed sim who when meeting new people will have their reputation precede them and effect their future relationships. Celebrities will show up anywhere, grinding pretty much everything to a halt so NPCs and even your own sims can swoon over them. (Plus Judith Ward and every other celebrity will always walk through your neighborhood no matter where you live, breaking the immersion. Yes even if you live in bumfuck nowhere, Strangerville.)

HIGH SCHOOL YEARS will NOT stop making me teen sims miserable. Acne all the time! Hair in weird places ALL THE TIME. To stop hair growth I have to go into cas and turn off the option for every body part FOR EVERY DIFFERENT SIM. Acne is in the actual pack settings to turn off. You have to turn off the check in the career tab in-game to stop the popup that asks if you want to follow your teen sims to school, for every teen sim. AND THE RANDOMIZED TOWNIE OUTFITS HAVE GOTTEN WORSE. I hate Trendi with a passion.

DREAM HOME DECORATOR. Sims will constantly go around critiquing my furniture choices, even in bedrooms they weren’t invited to, because they like or hate certain styles and it’s incredibly annoying. It’s not worth setting their furniture style likes or dislikes for the little happy moodlet when they like living in a midcentury modern decorated home.

~Only Invasive with Interaction: You’ll have to actually use these packs to make an impact on gameplay

GET TO WORK gave us our first occult sim, not counting ghosts. However, if you engage in the scientist career, you better prepare for absolutely every night to be filled with alien abductions. I never, ever see alien abductions or get pregnant male sims unless someone in the household is a scientist. The illnesses that come with the pack also can’t be disabled which is a little annoying when your previously healthy sim suddenly turns dazed because of a hidden buff of having a cold, or your screenshots are suddenly ruined because someone sprouted orange tiger stripe rashes. The only cure for these illnesses are the medicine bought off the computer, or the shopping for gifts menu from the phone. And sometimes they don’t work to fully cure your sim so sometimes you have to wait and take another medicine to completely cure the illness. However it’s largely easy to ignore and easy to fix so I won’t count it as totally invasive when faced with absolutely everything else this game can do to give your sims a billion moodlets.

CATS AND DOGS won’t really affect your gameplay unless you adopt one for your household. Yeah, you’ll still see the occasional stray in your neighborhood but that’s it really.

FOR RENT has emergency events that crop up like trash overload that your sim will have to fix or call their landlord to fix. It’s a random event for both landlords and tenants, so there’s no predicting and preventing when they’ll occur. There are also some gameplay objects to fix every so often but aside from the emergency events, living in a residential rental is pretty much like living in an apartment.

SPA DAY only affects gameplay due to the refresh, which gave the new trait High Maintenance. Which is very likely to make the sim with that trait freak out over any little thing under the sun. Including the sun. Sitting makes them uncomfortable. They get weird dreams that make them tense. They need constant spa days and wellness activities or they get angry and tense. If they don’t have the High Maintenance trait though? You will never need the Spa Day stuff close at hand.

VAMPIRES used to visit your sims at night pretty much all the time to bite and suck their plasma and give them a day long uncomfortable moodlet that you had no way to avoid without locking your doors to outsiders or engaging in the Vampire knowledge skill to make garlic braids and prevent feedings from garlic allergic vampires. Now you can turn off their nightly visits by clicking on the front door and disallowing vampire visitors. Just remember to do that whenever your sims move houses.

STRANGERVILLE only really affects the residents of Strangerville. The possession moodlet only affects the sims that eat the bizarre fruit to get the Infected trait and the vampires that drink from sims with the infected trait. On occasion you’ll see certain Strangerville townies go possessed but only if you have them invited out from before 1am in-game.

REALM OF MAGIC introduced spellcasters and they really don’t do magic outside of the realm. They’ll ride brooms outside of the realm but they tend to stay grounded if they’re going to walk through your neighborhoods. Having a spellcaster with spellcaster friends results in a lot of phonecalls inviting you to a magic duel at the dueling grounds but that’s all really.

LAUNDRY DAY is only invasive and adds gameplay IF you put a washing machine, washtub, a dryer, clothesline and/or laundry basket on your lot. If you just want the cas and build objects aside from those, you will never see a stinky pile of laundry.

MY FIRST PET STUFF doesn’t bug you about the rodents unless you have them and it’s all notifications, BUT having a rodent and neglecting it CAN lead to a deadly, highly contagious outbreak of Rabid Rodent Fever, which can result in ghost furries.

TINY LIVING only affects your lot’s number of room tiles when selecting to live in a tiny home residential. If you exceed the maximum number of tiles, 100, you just won’t get the hidden lot traits that benefit your sims from living on a tiny home residential.

PARANORMAL STUFF only becomes invasive on haunted house residential lots. You will not see a specter, Guidry, or Temperance without going into the paranormal investigator freelance career otherwise.

~Not All That Invasive: These packs can have an impact on gameplay but are very easy to ignore.

GET TOGETHER will occasionally give you a notification about clubs or have townies call to invite your sims to the discotheque or parties in the ruins and bluffs.

CITY LIVING will give you a notification about whatever festival’s going on and NPCs will call to invite your sims out to them.

DISCOVER UNIVERSITY will give a popup to remind you that your sims can enroll and get a degree once in a while for every new teen or older sim.

COTTAGE LIVING will give a notification every weekend for whatever fair is happening in Henford on Bagley

DINE OUT won’t give an effect to your game until you place a restaurant, and even then it’ll just be another location NPCs will invite your sims to.

~Wait I have that pack?: Even if you focus on using these packs they don’t impact gameplay.

ISLAND LIVING is pretty much self contained. Other than occasionally seeing mermaid sims around town, the gameplay is self contained to Sulani.

SNOWY ESCAPE gives a residential world with a few vacation lots so your sim can vacation in the mountains. This pack is self contained.

Wait I have that pack? additions:

Horse Ranch does not allow free roaming horses, which was my BIGGEST CONCERN due to how TS3 horses would show up even in Bridgeport. Even if you do have a horse on your lot, they are designed to walk through 1 tile wide doorways which is a huge relief when my biggest problem with TS3 horses was that even wild horses would glitch through the walls and get stuck in my living room, until I broke down an entire wall and shooed them out of my house. The horse events don’t come as notifications to clutter up the activity feed, so it even spares me that issue that most other packs have. You will have to turn off Neighborhood Stories though, otherwise random people will just start adopting horses for no reason.

OUTDOOR RETREAT gives a vacation world centered around camping. The herbalism skill doesn’t need to be interacted with and you don’t have to capture bugs. This pack is self contained.

JUNGLE ADVENTURES gives you a new vacation world and is easily the fastest way to get a ton of simoleons to end your rags to riches nightmares. Just make sure your sim is skilled enough to avoid getting poisoned/cursed to death. Otherwise this pack is self contained.

JOURNEY TO BATUU gives you a call and notification that you can visit at any time but you’ll never see a star wars character outside of Batuu unless you make friends with them. This pack is self contained.

LUXURY PARTY just adds the punch/chocolate fountain and buffet table to the game, no other additional gameplay.

SPOOKY STUFF adds a party type and that’s it.

MOVIE HANGOUT will give your sims the option to watch movies and you wont’ see any other gameplay unless you toss the popcorn maker into your kitchen, which I consistently forget about.

ROMANTIC GARDEN adds a bunch of flowers and a few bits of furniture and the wishing well doesn’t do anything until you interact with it.

BACKYARD STUFF just gives you the option of having a waterslide in your backyard.

VINTAGE GLAMOUR adds no gameplay except for the butler and the tiny bit that is the vanity table but does nothing else.

FITNESS STUFF adds no gameplay except for the climbing wall which can help build fitness or climbing skill if you own Snowy Escape

MOSCHINO STUFF fixes the limited photography skill but doesn’t do much else.

NIFTY KNITTING. You can knit and unlock some things in CAS and that’s it.

~Doesn’t Add Gameplay: They don’t add anything that isn’t already in the base game. Little campers does have a projection screen but it’s just a new TV.

HOLIDAY STUFF (the free pack) adds no gameplay

KITS. I don’t own a majority of the kits but almost all of the kits are CAS or Build kits that add no gameplay that isn’t already in the base game except for Bust the Dust. The Modern Luxe Kit has a vanity table but since I don’t own that kit and I do own Vintage Glamour, I don’t know if it adds the vanity interactions to the base game or not.

~Don’t Own It: I don’t own these packs, so I can’t say what is or is not invasive from the listed but since these are stuff packs with one or two gameplay objects in each, they probably all fit under the Wait I have that pack? category:

Toddler stuff, Bowling night, Kids room, Cool kitchen, Perfect Patio, Home Chef Hustle

[newswireml]

SEXISM in sports writer melts down into shrieking pool of DUMB over James Reimer’s LGBTQ jersey statement – twitchy.com#SEXISM #sports #writer #melts #shrieking #pool #DUMB #James #Reimers #LGBTQ #jersey #statement #twitchycom

Awww, there’s nothing like the bringers of tolerance losing their minds because a single hockey player refuses to wear an LGBTQIA+ (cripes that’s getting longer, lol) jersey due to his own religious beliefs. And you know, he shouldn’t have to wear the damn jersey and he shouldn’t have to release a statement as to WHY he won’t BUT this is 2023 and everything is dumb. And getting dumber. James…

[lorekeeper-backset]

Cripes that took longer than I thought it would.

Not because it was hard I just kept getting distracted.

May 5th

I was really wishing the day wouldn't end. I don't want to go back to school tomorrow. The other kids are mean and the teachers don't care. They're mean too sometimes, but I don't think they mean it.

Lets talk about something happier. Uh... uh... oh! Want me to tell you about my aunts and uncles? I don't know why I'm asking, you're a journal you can't talk.

They're not really my aunts and uncles. Like, they're not related to me. Well, they wouldn't be related to me even if they were cause I'm adopted but they're not related to my dads.

First there's Aunt Shelly. She's known my dads the longest out of any of them. She was Sapphire Dad's best friend when he was a kid (can you believe my dads were kids at some point?). She's the responsible one but sometimes she gets mad. She tries not to show it around me but I can tell.

Then there's Uncle Matt. He and Sapphire Dad were in the NDF together. Uncle Matt's the fun one. He lets me ride on his shoulders so I can be extra tall. And he's gonna teach me how to fight.

Uncle Tabitha is an old colleague of Ruby Dad. I like him but he's kinda stuck up sometimes. Calls himself "The Great Tabitha." He's so silly. But he's also real smart. He helps me with my homework sometimes.

Aunt Courtney's my favorite. She's weird just like me. Ruby Dad told me once that people used to be mean to her a lot and that makes me sad. People are mean to me a lot too. People shouldn't be mean. I'm not sure if Aunt Courtney really likes me but I like her. She makes me feel like I'm not alone.

That made me feel better. At least I know that no matter how mean the world is, I'll always have my family.

[swannscngs]

WHO: @givcnup​ ! WHERE: train one, district twelve car ! WHEN: a few hours AFTER the rebel hijack announcement, before dinner !

The seed was planted, and though nothing had been fully formed quite yet, it’s more than enough to bring Swann walking straight for District Twelve’s car. She can’t sit still. She can’t wait and just hope that something good is going to happen, that the rebels are going to magically take care of the peacekeepers without any additionally causalities and save them all. Swann needs more information, and she needs it before her calm, collected facade finally breaks, which — at the pace it’s going — won’t be long at all. 

A quick rap at the door of the train car, and Swann steps in, thankfully finding Griffin by himself.  ❝ We need to talk. ❞  Short and to the point. There’s no reason to waste time, not when they don’t know how long they have before someone tries to make a move.  ❝ Can we go to your room? ❞  She waits just a moment, until she’s a bit closer and can safely ask her next question without being overheard.  ❝ You don’t happen to know what mockingjays look like do you? ❞