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whenrockwasyoung19 · 4 years ago

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It’s Time to Talk about a Bespectacled Elephant in the Room

I’ve been in the Beatles fandom for 8 and a half years. I have had a Beatles blog for the entirety of those 8 and a half years, and I have watched as discourse about these four men evolve. The discourse inside and outside the fandom has become so toxic that I don’t think I can engage with it in the same way that I could before. Let me explain.

When I entered this fandom 8 and a half years ago, it was in 2012, quite an infamous year in tumblr history. That was the pique of “”cringey”” fandom culture. The Beatles fandom was as steeped in fandom culture as any other fandom. I know this because I was part of two of the top of fandoms at the time, Doctor Who and Sherlock. Believe me, I have seen cringe.

The fandom at the time was totally aware of the John, Paul, George, and Ringo’s flaws as individuals, but most fans tended to simply enjoy Beatles fandom as if it were the 60s. Some might call it ignorant bliss. If you asked me at the time, I’d have said it was self-aware ignorant bliss--if that even makes sense. At the time, there wasn’t a person with a Beatles icon who hadn’t heard the line “John Lennon beat his wife.” Everyone knew it, but everyone also knew the real story, and so everyone just made peace with it. As a result, people didn’t think about every bad thing the Beatles ever did on a daily basis. It was more like a once-a-month kind of thing. Otherwise, fandom discourse was quite fun and relaxed. There were no shipping wars, no one fought over who was the best Beatle, everyone gushed over the Beatles wives, and we all just had fun with fics and fan art.

Of course, in this period, people engaged in conversations about one bespectacled Beatles problematic behavior. These conversations usually came from outside of the fandom. It was usually randos coming into the tags or into someone’s ask box and ranting about John Lennon’s violent behavior. Some of it came from within the fandom. Some people really didn’t like John and gave others shit if they listed John as their favorite Beatle. A lot of the discourse boiled down to: ‘hey, I see you like John Lennon. You should know that he beat his wife. And now that you know that, you should feel bad about ever liking him in the first place.’ And the response was often, ‘Actually, John Lennon didn’t beat his wife. They weren’t even married at the time. And also he didn’t beat her, he slapped her once in the face, and then never did it again.’ No one’s minds were changed. The fans had made their peace, and the antis came off as cynical and pretentious.

When Dashcon happened, and Tumblr took a hard look at its cringey fandom culture, the Beatles fandom evolved as well. The fandom became, frankly, less fun. It no longer felt like a group of people who found the Beatles decades after the 60s and were fangirling like it was 1965. There was still some of that left, but a lot of it kind of faded. So, most fandom interactions were reblogging pictures of the Beatles from the 60s and various interview clips and quotes. But the barrage of antis never really went away, and the response didn’t evolve.

Then, the advent of cancel culture came on. I always waited for the Beatles to get, like, officially canceled, but I also felt they were uncancel-able at the same time. Let me explain. I have been a Beatles fan primarily in an online space, rarely engaging with fans in real life. But I have met fans who are life-long Beatles fans, people who are a lot older than us and who’s fandom isn’t tied to the internet. They don’t give a shit about any of our discourse. They may or may not have heard it before, but they seem totally indifferent to all of it. I’m sure most of them have never heard ‘Mclennon’ before. These are the people that flock to see Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr in concert (and pay astronomical prices for it). These are the people who go to record shops and buy vinyl. These are the people I run into at flea markets who buy up all the Beatles merch before I can even arrive (true story). So, the Beatles will never be canceled because there will always be people who love the Beatles and don’t engage with online discourse. Rarely said, but thank god for Gen-X.

As cancel culture took over the internet, fandoms changed. It’s not as noticeable in fandoms without problematic favs. For instance, I’m also steeped in the Tom Holland fandom, and that boy is a little angel who has done no wrong. No one has discourse about the unproblematic boy who plays an equally unproblematic character. But in fandoms with ‘problematic favs’ the mood has shifted. I’m also in the Taron Egerton fandom. Taron Egerton, for those who only follow me for my Beatles stuff, is a genuinely sweet and kind person who has had zero scandals in his six year career. There were some rumblings when he was cast as Elton John, and some people took issue with the fact that he’s a straight man playing a gay man. This discourse seemed to die quickly as a whole lot of straight people played gay people in that same year (Olivia Coleman as queer Queen Anne, Emma Stone as her queer lover, Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury). Why jump on this boy who at the time was still technically on the rise. He’s not exactly the same target as someone like Scarlett Johansson who has her pick of roles. Taron doesn’t have quite that some power in Hollywood, and I think most people made peace with the fact that this was a big role for him, and it’s not really fair to take that away from him. So, all in all, the closest thing to a scandal was something that died pretty much on arrival.

That was until this summer when everything changed. When George Floyd was murdered, celebrities flocked to social media to mourn his loss. Taron’s social media account was silent. For weeks, Taron said nothing about Black Lives Matter or Floyd’s death. This caused outrage in the fandom. Many raced to defend him, starting a hashtage #IstandwithTaron. Others sought to tear him down and anyone who supported him. The kind of mania this one incident caused tore through an otherwise peaceful fandom. What I saw was two sides in a total panic. The antis were people who once had faith that Taron was a good person and were now questioning that. Andthe defenders were people who desperately wanted him to be a good person and were afraid that he wasn’t. In essence, both sides could feel Taron about to get canceled. The defenders wanted to stop it, the antis wanted to ride that wave.

What this long drawn out Taron example is meant to convey: is that cancel culture has put fandoms on edge. One’s fav has to be perfect, otherwise it can jeopardize the existence of the entire fandom. I’ll admit, I was afraid that I’d be some kind of pariah for standing by Taron through all of this. My actions were to basically reason with the antis but still defend Taron. I defend him mostly because I felt that his silence was the result of a needed social media absence and that trying to shame him back onto social media was an invasion of privacy. But I was genuinely afraid that he would get canceled, and the fun of the Taron fandom would be lost.

In the Beatles fandom, it often feels like the Beatles, mainly John, have already been canceled. I see this coming from two different sources: antis from outside of the fandom and antis within the fandom. The outside antis are just the same as the ones from 2012. These are people who like to drop in that John Lennon beat his wife, posting this in the tag (which violates an ancient tumblr real by the way--no hate in the tags).

The antis outside the fandom speak to a larger anti-John Lennon sentiment online. I see references to John Lennon ‘beating his wife’ on Tiktok and twitter. The tone of anti-John Lennon posts has shifted. Before, it felt like the antis were being smug but also argumentative. They wanted to have a conversation about this bit of info they read on Reddit with no context. Now, “John Lennon beating his wife” is practically a meme. It’s a running joke online that John Lennon was a wife beater. I can’t look on my instagram explore page because every so often a John Lennon beats his wife meme will pop up amongst the other, normal, memes.

This change in discourse suggests that the internet has just accepted this as fact now. I should note that back in 2012, it seemed as if few people knew this fact. The fandom knew it, and these random antis knew it, but few others did. Now, because of how common these memes are, it seems to be widespread knowledge.

Consequently, the Beatles fandom, who used to ward off attacks from antis, seems to have given in. I recently saw a post from a Beatles blog (had the URL and icon and everything) that confessed they felt guilty for listening to the Beatles, and I’ve seen similar sentiments expressed in the fandom. People tend to put disclaimers in posts about John or even all four that John is an ‘awful man.’ It seems like the self-aware ignorant bliss has completely gone away. Occasionally, I still see posts joyously talking about Mclennon or reblogs of old photos from the 60s. But the culture has shifted.

Online, it no longer feels comfortable to be a Beatles fan. It feels like you have to own up to 8 decades of mistakes by four men you’ve never met. And, I should note, this is kind of how it feels to be a fan of anything right now. Taron is not canceled today, but he could be tomorrow. It’s this pervasive feeling of guilt that the person you’re supporting may or definitely has or is doing something wrong.

I’ll admit this uncomfortable feeling has expanded into other parts of my fandom life. I listen to their music, and I feel elated--the way I always have. Then, I get these intrusive thoughts which sound like all the worst parts of Twitter combined. It wasn’t always like this. Back in 2012, when I knew almost nothing about them, I saw them as four young men who were full of happiness, love for another, and talent. Back then, listening to their music was exciting and joyous. Sometimes, I fear that I can never feel that way again. Next year, when I finally go to Liverpool, will I be filled with excitement or guilt?

I say all this for a few reasons. One, I love John Lennon. I appreciate all the good he did for the world not just as a musician and an artist but also his advocacy and charity work. I love him, and a part of me will always love him, but observing the change in discourse has enlightened me as a historian. Part of my job is to observe people’s legacies, and John’s is perhaps the most interesting legacy I’ve ever observed. When he died, he was hailed as a saint. But tall poppy syndrome set in, and the antis started. This culture grew and grew to the point where it seems to, at least among the younger generation, taken over the sainthood.

But as a historian and a fan, I have never seen the saint or the devil. I’ve only seen the man, the incredibly flawed man. The thing that these antis never understand is that John Lennon was painfully aware of his own flaws to the point where it made him all the more self-destructive. In essence, his past mistakes caused him to make additional mistakes. But John, aware of his own flaws, always tried to change and was often successful. I’ve talked about this before, but John demonstrated that he was capable of being a good person, like properly so, again and again. After he struck Cynthia, he never hit her again. His shortcomings as a father to Julian weren’t repeated with Sean. He worked on his drinking, his drug addiction, and his anger, trying to overcome those demons till the day he died. By all accounts, the John Lennon that died in 1980 is not the John Lennon who struck Cynthia Powell at school. That John Lennon was living a cleaner, healthier life. He was a better father to both his sons by that point, and was trying to repair his relationship with Julian. He was a good husband to Yoko and saw himself living a long and happy life.

John Lennon cannot and should not be boiled down to just his flaws. It’s one thing as a fan to acknowledge that John is a flawed human being (news flash: they all are), but he is also much bigger than that.

So once again, why am I writing this long, rambling post, once again talking about John Lennon’s virtues? Because if I can’t engage with healthy discourse about the Beatles and John Lennon, then I can’t engage with discourse on the topic at all. So, I probably will post less Beatles stuff because I find it hard to go through the tags or even my dash (well, I can’t really go through my dash anymore for other reasons I’m not going to get into right now). If any of my followers have noticed a lot of Taron posts lately, it’s not just because I love Taron, it’s because Taron’s tag is pretty much the only location on tumblr I feel 100% comfortable in. Any foray into John or the Beatles tags becomes uncomfortable and guilt-ridden quickly.

So, I probably will post less about the Beatles until I can find a blog or a tag that doesn’t give me bad vibes. My fandom will likely outgrow tumblr and the internet. I have a ton of Beatles books; maybe I’ll rely on those. I am doing official scholarly research on them now. Maybe that will be my outlet. I’m sorry if I post less about them now, but it’s really for my own well-being.

#John lennon #the beatles

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manage-mischief · 4 years ago

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Regulus Black and The Darkest Shadows: Chapter 4

Read on AO3 or FF.net

A/N: CHAPTER TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF PAST ALCOHOL ABUSE! END OF CHAPTER! I really enjoyed writing this chapter! Hope you all like it! Thanks so much for the kind reviews, and thank you to my amazing beta @leah-ravenanne !

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Chapter 4: Misery Loves Company

September 13th, 1978

The next morning, Regulus left the Slytherin dorms early to avoid any undesired interactions. He made his way to the Great Hall to find McDrew. When Regulus arrived, he scanned the long house tables for a sign of the beefy Quidditch Captain.

Regulus finally spotted McDrew sitting halfway down the Slytherin Table with a couple of other students. McDrew noticed him staring.

“Oi, Black! C’mon, I’ve saved you a seat!” He gave a great wave and a large, goofy grin. Regulus sat down awkwardly.

“Here, Reg, let me introduce you to some of my friends. They’re not all Slytherins, but, then again, not everyone can be so lucky.” he laughed, cheekily.

“Can it, Woody!” The dark, curly-haired girl sitting across from him rolled her eyes. She glanced at Regulus warily. Regulus had a feeling that McDrew had instructed his friends to be nice.

“I’m Wilhelmina Young. Hufflepuff,” she introduced herself hesitantly.

“Oh yeah. You’re in my year,” said Regulus. “We had Care of Magical Creatures together.”

Wilhelmina nodded, warming up a bit. “I didn’t know if you’d remember. We were partners when we had to take care of that nasty Flobberworm in 3rd year.”

Regulus cringed at the memory.

“And you know Marlene McKinnon, I’m sure. She’s a Gryffindor.” McDrew continued the introductions, gesturing to the pretty blonde girl on his right.

Marlene narrowed her eyes. Regulus gulped. He was quite aware of Marlene’s feelings towards him. “Yeah, we’ve met,” said Marlene. “Although, I’m more familiar with your brother. He and I were…close…for a bit.” Marlene grinned while the rest of the crew cracked up. Regulus didn’t know how to respond to that. Sirius had been quite...active...before he’d realized his true affections for fellow Gryffindor Remus Lupin. Regulus wondered if they were still together.

Marlene stared at him once again, sizing him up. “Well, I guess you’re alright. As long as you don’t go around preaching about the ‘Noble and Most Ancient House of Wankers’, we’ll get along fine.”

The girl sitting next to her chuckled and kissed her cheek. Regulus recognized her as fellow Slytherin Dorcas Meadowes. “Wotcher.” Dorcas nodded in greeting. “Sorry, ‘bout my girlfriend. She doesn’t know when to shut her mouth.”

Marlene playfully shoved her back and exclaimed, “You weren’t complaining about that at Madame Puddifoot’s last week!” The table erupted in laughter again, and Regulus joined them. He was shocked by how easily Marlene and the others had accepted him. Maybe things were looking up. Maybe, this whole turning his life around thing wouldn’t be so hard.

Just then, Regulus saw Woodrow wave towards the Great Hall Entrance. “Ah, here they are, late as always.”

Regulus looked over his shoulder to see who had arrived. His heart dropped. Three Ravenclaws were walking towards them. Two boys—one of whom Regulus recognized as George Fleet, the other he didn’t know—and one girl. A tall, brown-haired girl with clear plastic glasses and a fiery expression plastered on her face. Desdemona.

The three newcomers sat. Desdemona glared.

“Oi, Woody. I thought you were joking when you said Black’d be joining us,” Desdemona said, pretending as if Regulus wasn’t there.

McDrew shot Regulus an apologetic look. “Des, c’mon. He wants to change. We’re gonna help him!”

Desdemona huffed. “‘Wants to change,’ my arse! You know what his lot did just a few days ago? That little girlfriend of his hexed Broderick in the middle of the hallway for no bloody reason! Called ‘im a Mudblood!” She gestured to the boy sitting next to her, who suddenly became very interested in his bowl of porridge. Broderick was clearly not in the mood for confrontation, or for Desdemona’s angry tirade.

Regulus quickly defended himself. “I didn’t know anything about that! And, anyways, you turned Ginger’s hair green. You got her back.”

Desdemona pounded her fist on the table, causing silverware to fly into the air. “OH RIGHT! BRODERICK HAD TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL WING! But, my, my, I’m so sorry poor little miss Death Eater Queen had to suffer with green hair for a few hours. Poor baby!”

People around them had begun to stare. McDrew put a hand on the tall girl’s shoulder. “Listen, if Reg says he wasn’t involved, he wasn’t involved. I believe him. And you more than anyone should respect the fact that he’s trying to turn over a new leaf. As long as that’s the case, we’re going to help him do it. Understand?”

She looked like she wanted to retort, but thought better of it. She nodded, frowning, and muttered under her breath, “Fine.” Desdemona glared at McDrew, but didn’t argue. Instead, she turned to Wilhelmina. “Can you pass the toast?”

The group of friends let out a collective breath of relief. Regulus got the feeling that McDrew was the leader of this little gang. At any rate, anyone who could convince Desdemona Lewis to tolerate Regulus was impressive.

---

After the meal ended, Regulus, Broderick, Desdemona, and Wilhelmina headed down to the dungeons for Potions. The atmosphere was still tense and a bit awkward.

“So,” Regulus said, trying to break the tension, “What d’you think Slughorn’ll have us make today?”

“I don’t like you, Black,” Desdemona snapped, not even looking at him.

“You don’t like anyone, Des,” Wilhelmina replied casually. Broderick laughed. Desdemona pouted.

“I just have high standards, that’s all,” she said haughtily.

“High standards? Is that what they’re calling ‘being a judgmental bitch’ nowadays?” Wilelmina teased back.

Regulus cracked a smile, but his amusement seemed to really set Desdemona off. Broderick stepped in front of her to try and hold her back. “Des,” he said in a soothing, deep voice. “Remember what Woodrow said? We’re trying to help Regulus. He doesn’t want to be like the rest of those Death Eaters anymore. He wants to change. Remember, Woodrow told us. We have to be empathetic. We have to understand.”

“Understand? I understand! I understand that his little cult wants to eradicate Muggle culture! They don’t think people like you and me deserve to be at Hogwarts, because my mum’s a Muggle, or because I can’t prove my dad was a wizard, or because I was raised by Muggles or whatever! And I’m supposed to just accept that he’s changed? I may be judgmental and choosy about who I trust, but it’s for good reason! Because if we put our trust in the wrong person, we could end up dead!”

Desdemona stormed off ahead of them, leaving Regulus feeling as awful as ever. Despite his dislike of Desdemona’s unpleasant attitude towards him, she was completely justified. She had every right to hate Regulus. Was he being an idiot? Was it really possible for him to cut ties with his past, when his past involved such hurt and pain?

Broderick patted him on the back. “Hey, mate. I’m Muggleborn, and I still have faith you can change. If we don’t allow people from You-Know-Who’s side to change their minds and join us, we’ll never win the war. It’s just Des. You know, she’s got quite a temper and, between you and me, a ton of anxiety. She’ll come around, though. And I can tell, you’re not as off-your-rocker as that Ginger chick.”

Regulus was shocked at how kind of a person Broderick was—how kind all of McDrew’s friends were. Here Regulus was, asking them to accept him despite the awful people he’d aligned himself with, despite the awful things he had done. And they were willing to give him a second chance he knew he didn’t remotely deserve.

Regulus forced a small smile, still considering how he was ever going to fit in with this new group.

---

Despite a rocky start, Regulus’s attempts to gain new friends had been growing more and more successful with each passing day. By the end of the week, Regulus had taken to studying in the library with Broderick during their free periods, had accompanied Woodrow and Marlene on an adventure to visit the House Elves in the Kitchens, and had even managed to have a thirty second conversation with Desdemona that had not ended in screaming or cursing.

By Friday night, Regulus whistled happily in his dorm while he put gel in his hair before the year’s first Slug Club dinner. He had felt freer and happier than he had in a long time.

As Regulus strolled towards Slughorn’s office, he heard a strange whimpering. Curious, he followed the noises down an unfamiliar corridor, where he discovered their source—Desdemona. She was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, quietly crying. She was dressed up for Slughorn’s party, in a midnight blue dress and silver shoes. However, her makeup was running down her face, ruining the aesthetic. Her fingers were tapping noticeably at her side. Regulus was about to back away from the scene when she looked up and noticed him watching. Her eyes narrowed dangerously.

“What the bloody hell are you looking at?”

“Um, I was just…going…I’ll leave you to it,” Regulus sputtered. He felt a pang of regret in his chest. Sure, he and Desdemona mixed about as well as oil and water. Sure, they had been hellbent on outcompeting and insulting each other for six years now. However, in the moment, she seemed vulnerable. He sighed, sure he would regret his next decision. But, he was trying to turn over a new leaf. And that included rectifying his past mistakes. Maybe, this could be a start.

Slowly, he approached her and slid down the wall, taking a seat onto the cool stone floor beside her. He awkwardly patted her shoulder. “Er…everything ok?” He winced at his tactlessness. Clearly everything was not okay.

For a moment, Regulus thought Des was going to snap at him. Then, her face melted and she took a deep breath. “Do you really want to know?” She asked, leaning her head back against the wall and staring up at the ceiling. She tapped her fingers together more rapidly. Regulus didn’t quite know how to respond, so he simply nodded his head, inviting her to continue.

“My mum. She…ah…she died.”

Regulus’s heart sank for her. He was at a loss for words. What was he supposed to say to comfort the girl? “Oh. Sorry,” was all he could muster.

She shook her head and laughed emptily. “No. I shouldn’t be shocked. In fact, it’s a surprise it took her this long.”

“Was she sick?” Regulus asked.

“In a way.” Des furrowed her brow, as if considering whether to divulge any more private information. “I guess I can tell you. Since I’ve been ordered to be your ‘friend’ now.”

“I’ll ignore the sarcasm,” Regulus quipped, hoping to put her more at ease.

“What a shame,” she replied. After a brief pause, she continued: “My aunt always says it’s best to share your thoughts and emotions. ‘Don’t let yourself be controlled by them.’ I tell her that’s bullshit. If people knew half the things that went on inside my head…”

She paused, stopping herself. “Well, anyways,” said Desdemona, returning to the story. “My mum kind of…lost it…when my dad died. She had run away to the States to be with him. Given up everything. The family hardly approved, but she was head over heels. Hippies, the pair of them. Hence the name,” she gestured to herself.

Regulus chuckled. “Oh right. Desdemona Rain.”

“Awful, isn’t it? Anyways, dad died—I don’t know how, none of my family does. Mum wouldn’t tell them. After that, she brought me back to England. She started drinking. A lot. And then, one day, she left me with my aunt and uncle while she went to the store, and she never came back. I hadn’t heard from her in over ten years. Last my aunt had known, she was in some sort of rehab center up north. She…she didn’t want to see any of us…she didn’t want me to visit…” Desdemona took another deep breath. “The center…they—they called Aunt Eliza yesterday and said she had been released, then relapsed and OD’ed. I just found out.”

Regulus watched her as she attempted to steady her shaky breath. “I’m sorry. Do you…do you want me to walk you back to your dorm or something?”

“No, no,” she said, “Please don’t be nice to me. It makes me feel pathetic when you’re nice to me.”

Regulus laughed lightly.

“And besides,” she continued, wiping the makeup from under her eyes and smoothing her dress, “I can’t very well go back knowing that you’ll be hogging the time of whatever influential person Slughorn has brought for us this evening! Git.” Pulling out a small pocket mirror, she examined her reflection and dabbed away the remaining black streaks on her cheeks.

Regulus stood and hesitantly offered a hand to Desdemona. To his surprise, she took it and pulled herself up. Regulus awkwardly dropped her hand and spoke. “I’m sorry, Desdemona. Truly. I know that the things I’ve said and the people I’ve associated with in the past have hurt you. I don’t know what to say besides I’m sorry. I like to tell myself that I never really believed those things, that I was trying to fit in and make my family proud. But, I didn’t try to stop it. And any pain I’ve caused you—directly or indirectly…You don’t deserve to be bullied or put down because of who your parents were or how you were raised. But if it makes you feel any better, I’ll say this: you’re an amazing witch. Probably better than any of the rest of us.”

“Wow. Can I get that in writing?” She joked. Then, seriously, she said, “Please, call me Des. I think I can allow it, seeing as you’ve unlocked a piece of my tragic backstory. I expect you to return the favor someday.”

“Come on, we’re already running late. Let’s go…Des.”

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tlbodine · 5 years ago

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A Plea for Some Non-Cringe Native American Representation

There’s something that has bothered me for a real long time, and I haven’t said anything because it didn’t really feel like my place to say it. But if pasty white folks across the country will insist on continuing to make these books and comics and movies, then I guess this pasty white girl can make a plea to do it better.

So. Here’s the deal. Native American representation in fiction sucks.

We’re going to talk about why, and then talk about some ways you can do it better. And it’s going to take a while, so join me under the cut.

PROBLEM #1: Erasure

The first problem with First Nations people being represented in fiction is that it, uh...doesn’t happen very often. It’s pretty rare for a show or movie or book to have a Native character, and even rarer for that character to exist without being a vehicle/mouthpiece for some kind of hamfisted message.

And, of course, Native characters who do show up in movies are sometimes played by non-Native actors, which is just. Um.

somebody fucking kill me I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

PROBLEM #2: The Same Stock Character Over and Over and Over

There’s this weird thing where TV shows have A Very Special Native American Episode(tm) where a Native American character shows up in a storyline designed to, idk, provide a tidy outlet for the viewer’s white guilt or something. I see this a lot in superhero stories for...some reason:

Batman and Chief Screaming Eagle (ok, it was the 1960s, surely things have gotten better right? oh...) who’s butting heads with a villain over a bad contract for, uh, the chief’s ancestral lands

There was the Buffy episode “Pangs” where a Chumash vengeance spirit is the villain-of-the day after being disturbed by some construction (and this is honestly one of the better treatments of the premise, at least the episode is well-written)

There was the Smallville episode with Kyla Willowbrook, the Kawatche Skinwalker (I know, I know) who for bonus points dies tragically in Clark’s arms (I KNOW) and who was deeply concerned with...with some construction...disturbing her sacred homesite...(this is starting to sound familiar)

And then there was The Flash episode where Barry is forced to fight with the complicated-yet-tragically-evil Native American activist woman whose crimes involve stealing cultural artifacts that belong to to the museum (yes I’m screaming) and also murdering people...y’know, for vengeance and stuff.

I could keep going but I really don’t think I have to. When your only representation of a culture is a character (frequently a smoking-hot member of the opposite sex to the hero) who is an ambiguous villain who is motivated by vengeance and/or justice over having their land/cultural artifacts disturbed, and who has a valid claim but is really going about it in the wrong way and whose tragic death and/or defeat really gives the white character something complex to think about for two seconds.... well. That’s more than a little racist.

PROBLEM #3: These Are Not Your Stories to Tell

You know what white people love doing?

They love appropriating Native culture! Seriously! They love it! And who can blame them, really? Native people have so much rich symbolism and mythology and cool clothes and neat aesthetics. Painted war ponies and buckskin dresses and shapeshifters and monsters, oh my! Indian burial grounds and vengeful spirits (oh for fuck sake enough with the vengeful Indian trope)

But here’s the deal:

The mythology you’re borrowing from belongs to a group of people who are still alive and sometimes practicing the religion you’re liberally reinterpreting

There is no such thing as a “Native American” myth. You’re talking about literally hundreds of different tribes who are culturally distinct from one another and have their own complex histories of interaction, diplomacy, war, friendship, etc. with one another for centuries before white folk got here. You erase all of that when you treat Native culture as a grab-bag of cool things you can mix and match to your liking.

Maybe, just a thought, stop it with the oppression narratives about activists and/or vengeful spirits who are real threatened by white people disturbing their homes? It’s not that there isn’t a lot to unpack in that -- I mean, white people really did conduct mass genocide against a race of people, for starters -- it’s just that this isn’t really your oppression narrative to tell.

It seems to me that folks writing about Native Americans don’t actually have any idea what Native people are like? They either think of them as anachronistic figures, an extinct and ancient group, or they think of them as people really hung up on their cultural past. Because maybe people can’t think of anything to do with a Native character other than use it as a vocal mouthpiece of one very specific part of their cultural oppression.

But please. Please stop. That is every bit as stupid and racist as making a Black character who only talks about slavery, or a Jewish character who only talks about the Holocaust, or giving all of your gay characters AIDS.

So what do you do instead?

Writing Native Characters in a Way That Does Not Suck - A Quick Primer

I can’t write a definitive guide on writing good Native representation, because there is no such guide, and if there were it would take a whole book probably, and I am not in any way even remotely an authority.

But I can give you some pointers that will help you.

(And to be honest, Native representation is so awful that the bar here is really super low, even just attempting a tiny bit is a really welcome breath of fresh air)

Choose a Tribe

Step one: Figure out what kind of Native people you’re writing about.

Because, as previously noted, Native People Are Not A Monoculture.

How do you pick a tribe? Well, start with geography. Where do you want the story to take place? Obviously people move around, so you can find folks outside of their ancestral lands, but they all started someplace, and a lot of people live where their parents and grandparents and cousins all live.

So where does your story take place? Pick a spot. Then find out what tribes live in that region. It’s not a secret. There are maps:

(Source: http://www.emersonkent.com/map_archive/native_american_tribes_map.htm)

Or maybe you want to go about this in a different way. Maybe you have a specific story idea in mind and you want to write it in a way that would be accurate and respectful. Cool! A good first step on that is to figure out what tribe actually does the thing you’re wanting to write about.

Skinwalkers, for example, originate in the Navajo Nation (Dine` people), although there are related myths from surrounding tribes in the area.

If you’re writing a story about Wendigo, then you should know those myths originate with the Algonquin people of Quebec and Ontario.

If you’re writing something with spiritually significant buffalo, you should probably choose a culture that actually interacted with buffalo -- ie, a Plains Indian tribe like the Lakota-Sioux people.

And so on and so forth.

(Note that this is only the first step. You still have to do a lot of research after this to be sure you’re doing everything properly and respectfully. And, y’know, maybe reconsider if you actually want to tell a story respecting that mythology, or if you just want to sound cool and exotic)

Also, personal preference: Please don’t make your characters Cherokee if you’re just going for “character with Native ancestry.” Please choose a different tribe. For a lot of complicated (and sometimes surprisingly racist) reasons, white people have been claiming Cherokee heritage for a long time, and even when it’s true, it feels cheap and cringey in fiction. If you want to tell a story about the Trail of Tears or something set in Tahlequa, Oklahoma, great! Write Cherokee characters! But if you just want a Native American character for other reasons...pick a different tribe.

Choose a Name

Fun fact: Modern Native people that you meet out on the street don’t have names like “Stands With Fists” or “Running Bear.”

If you have an impulse to name your character any kind of descriptive “adjective + animal” name...just don’t. Please. And don’t go to BehindTheName or some other random site to pick out something that “sounds” Native.

Names in other cultures are tricky. Some (but not all!) Native people may have a cultural tradition of having multiple names, including naming ceremonies (often as a rite of passage in adolescence). Some tribes have clan names. Everybody’s different. But these special names are culturally sensitive, often sacred, and are not a thing readily accessible to white people. White folks spent centuries trying to wipe out Indigenous people’s belief systems; they deserve to have some things kept private and sacred.

So what I’m getting at here is that white writers really, really should not touch on the “Indian naming ceremony” trope at all if they can help it, because it’s gonna be real hard to get the details right, and getting the details wrong is going to make you sound like an ignorant racist. And most of the time, it’s not really that important to a story.

Most contemporary Native people have regular English names. They may also have tribal names and clan names (that they may or may not share with outsiders). But lots of tribal members don’t, and that doesn’t make them any less Native.

My recommendation for naming your Native characters? Find real people from the time period, tribe, and region you’re writing in. Find a phone book or newspaper from a town on or near a reservation for your chosen tribe. Look at names of participants in powwows. Look at the sports rosters for Native schools. Look at historical records like census data from the year you’re writing about. Don’t just make things up.

** One Note: You know how “black” names are a thing? You encounter a similar sort of thing in some contemporary Native Americans. I grew up with a lot of kids who had “weird” names like Kirby, Sheriden, Baskerville, Sterling and Precious. (and by “weird” I mean “names middle-class white people don’t tend to use”). There’s also a lot of black-sounding names in Native populations. There’s some complex reasons behind this, and a lot of sociology of naming, and I won’t spend too much time on it right now but just...so you know. It’s a thing.

Write a Human Being

This really is the biggest thing, and it’s true of every writing you do, all the time, no matter what: Write a real person and not a caricature.

Native people are people first. Their cultural heritage affects them the way anyone else’s culture does. The things they eat, wear, do, believe, the stories they know, etc. are all affected. But Native people don’t have a responsibility to be walking representatives of their tribes. And they definitely shouldn’t be a vessel for white guilt.

(Fun fact: “Iron Eyes Cody,” maybe best known for the “Crying Indian” role in a commercial about pollution, was an Italian-American born Espera Oscar de Corti)

Here’s a really, really good article I found while working on this rant that might be of interest to you as wellas you set out on this quest: https://mashable.com/2015/03/24/american-indians-tv/

I still have so much to say on this topic, and maybe I’ll write more in the future, but this is already very long so I’ll stop. I hope this has been at least a little bit helpful for y’all. Go forth and write non-terrible characters, I beg of you.

*Disclaimer: I am not a Native person and do not claim any special knowledge or ownership of Native culture, and I beg you to please listen to Native voices when possible in your creative endeavors. I’m just a gal who happened to have spent most of my life living near reservations and growing up around Native people and having Native friends and being taught about historical cultures by my mother who has a degree in Southwest Studies and has done a lot of formal and informal research due to her own interests in the topic.

If you found this article helpful at all, please consider dropping a tip in my tip jar.

I also have a book coming out! You can pre-order it now! It features a main character of mixed heritage, New Mexico reservation border towns, and zombies trying to get by like everybody else.

Pre-Order now on B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/river-of-souls-t-l-bodine/1131956124

Or on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/River-Souls-T-L-Bodine/dp/1950305015

Or from the publisher: http://journalstone.com/bookstore/river-of-souls/?fbclid=IwAR14Qna5tMgWBV0We2uGSLreBkmyvZ5SoDAzPQpTKeFn4JR4PWSyKGl0VEo

Or add it to your Goodreads library: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46183381-river-of-souls

#how to write #writing advice #native americans #cultural appropriation #representation #long post #but please do read it #I worked on this all day

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happyandsillycritters · 4 years ago

Text

DO NOT INTERACT LIST

PLEASE DO NOT interact if you fit, are related to, are linked to, or identify as ANY of the descriptors below. Thanks.

If you do interact and I find that you do fit ANY of these descriptors, I reserve the right to block you and/or report you, depending on the severity of the tag you fit (I won’t report most kink blogs, for instance, but children deserve to feel safe so I will report any blog that is run by a pedophile or openly identifies as anything related to them).

Anyone who is a “bad faith actor” is not welcome. Generally this applies to concepts like politics, feminism, equality, etc. (If you are a “good faith actor” for any of these groups or others, then you are welcome! It’s the ones that aren’t being legitimate that I take issue with here.)

Extremism of any kind will not be tolerated. Most groups - with some exceptions below - are not extreme in nature. It’s the extremists that I find issue with. As an arbitrary example, if you belong to an Abrahamic religion (Jew, Christian, Muslim, etc.) you are welcome here... unless you fall into the category of extremist (for example, if you think that EVERYONE MUST convert to your religion and if they don’t they deserve to be murdered). Another example is feminism. You can be a feminist, and I don’t care how you identify - but if you are a radical feminist who claims that men deserve to be put to death simply for being men when they are doing nothing to you or other women to oppress them, then we have an issue.

As mentioned already, though, some groups just will not be tolerated or accepted here due to them being morally corrupt and unsafe by nature. Are there people who belong to these groups who are safe? Perhaps... in extremely rare cases. But most that I have seen and come into contact with are most certainly NOT safe and will not be welcomed to this blog.

Here is the short version:

- DDLG/Daddy Dom Little Girl

- MDLB/Mommy Dom Little Boy

- DDLB/Daddy Dom Little Boy

- MDLG/Mommy Dom Little Girl

- CGL/Care Giver Little

- ABDL/Adult Baby Diaper Lover

- Ageplay

- ANY type of Littlespace and/or Age Regression that is NSFW

- Kink or kink-related

- Petplay

- Hybristophilia (paraphilia in which sexual arousal, facilitation, and attainment of orgasm are contingent upon being with a partner known to have cheated, lied, participated in infidelity, or committed a crime - such as rape or murder)

- Erotophonophilia (paraphilia in which sexual arousal and attainment of organism are contingent upon the death/murder of a human being)

- Transgender Pee Kink

- ANY kink revolving around urination or the passing of bowel movements

- Rabiosexuality

- Anything or anyone on the Virosexual spectrum

- Necrophilia

- Trad-wife

- Trad-fem

- RadFem or TERF or TWERF (like the ones in this video: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9RuXrlASic0&list=PL6qeiiywoGbwy8VdT7lHhGSRXa0R7bmkr&index=6&t=8s )

- IPCE

- NAMBLA

- CSC

- Project Truth

- René Guyon Society

- MAP

- NoMAP/NMAP

- SoMAP

- Pedophile

- Pederast

- P.E.A.R. 🍐 (Pro Expression Anti Repression)

- Pedophile/Pedarest Apologists and Sympathizers

- ANY other glorification of attraction to children

- The aesthetics of Nymphet (also called nymphette, jailbait, doelette, coquette) and Faunlet

- Ero Kawaii (Japanese subculture that combines Western notions of sexiness and Japanese cuteness)

- Hospitalcore/Medcore

- Itami Kawaii (subgenre of kawaii that focuses on depressing and sad topics and imagery)

- Pukecore

- Yanderecore

- Body Horror

- Rape/Rapists

- Rape/Rapist Apologists and Sympathizers

- Incest

- Incest Apologists and Sympathizers

- Incels

- Incel Apologists and Sympathizers

- MGTOW/Men Going Their Own Way

- Anyone who identifies as an “alpha male” or “alpha male personality”

- People who claim to be “red-pilled”

- If you support child abuse of any kind or excuse it away as “discipline”

- Pro-spanking of any kind (sexual or otherwise)

- If you are pro-suicide or believe suicide-baiting and/or harassment is okay

- If you are disrespectful of people who have passed on who were victims of depression or suicide

- Beastiality

- Zoophilia

- Pro-animal abuse of any kind

- Pro-hunting-for-sport or pro-fishing-for-sport

- Extreme vegans or extreme vegetarians who believe humanely killing an animal for food is abusing them or are against hunting for necessary reasons

- Anti-feminism or anti-feminist

- Anti-egalitarianism

- Holocaust Deniers

- NSDAP/National Socialist German Workers' Party members

- NSDAP/National Socialist German Workers’ Party apologists and sympathizers

- Nazis

- Neonazis

- Nazi Apologists and Sympathizers

- Neonazi Apologists and Sympathizers

- Einsatzgruppen

- Schutzstaffel

- SS-Totenkopfverbände

- “Good Germans”

- Anything to do with the right-facing Swastika

- Bigotry of any kind (particularly against legitimate religions, romantic and sexual orientations, gender identities, neopronouns, neurodivergent people, mentally ill people, and mental disorders)

- Otherkin

- Otherkin Apologists and Sympathizers

- Fictionkin

- Fictionkin Apologists and Sympathizers

- If you use “autistic,” “gay,” “fag,” “qu*er,” “n*gger,” “ret*rded,” or any similar words as insults

- Support Autism Speaks

- Support PETA

- Support the YouTuber Onision/OnisionSpeaks/UhOhBro

- Belligerent antivaxxers

- Anyone who believes vaccines cause autism

- Anyone who is an extremist when it comes to abortion (pro-birthers or extreme pro-aborts)

- Exclusionists

- Racists

- Sexisists

- Porn blogs - hardcore or softcore

- SWERFs

- Any undue bigotry towards sex workers

- THINSPO

- Any people or blogs that glorify eating disorders

- Fatphobia

- Thinphobia

- Ableism/being mean to or oppressing Disabled people

- Anyone who is against d/Deaf and hard-of-hearing rights

- Anyone who unironically uses the terms “hearing loss” and “hearing impaired,” unless the d/Deaf person actually has lost their hearing or self-identifies that way

- Cringe blogs/people who support cringe culture

- People who spread misinformation around about DID/Dissociative Identity Disorder or who are anti-DID. (Alters are real and valid for people with DID - do NOT call them insane or stupid.)

Here is the long version with specifics and clarification for anyone who needs them:

DDLG/Daddy Dom Little Girl, MDLB/Mommy Dom Little Boy, DDLB/Daddy Dom Little Boy, MDLG/Mommy Dom Little Girl, CGL/Care Giver Little, ABDL/Adult Baby Diaper Lover, Ageplay, or ANY type of Littlespace and/or Age Regression that is NSFW. Yes, this does include anyone who calls someone Daddy or Mommy in a NSFW or sexual way. (SFW Littlespace or people who need Age Regression due to extreme trauma or other underlying issues are welcome and accepted here!) If you claim to be a SFW Littlespace or Age Regressor but are actually NSFW, I will immediately report and block you. Children and those who need these safe spaces deserve to be safe.

IPCE, NAMBLA, CSC, Project Truth, René Guyon Society, MAP, NoMAP/NMAP, SoMAP, Pedophile, Pederast, P.E.A.R. 🍐 (Pro Expression Anti Repression), or ANY other glorification of attraction to children. Children cannot consent in ANY situation. Children/Underage individuals - 0-17 years - deserve to be safe. Monsters who would compromise their safety aren’t EVER welcomed here.

If you are interested in or a part of the following aesthetics, stay away from me and my blog: Nymphet and/or Faunlet, Ero Kawaii, Hospitalcore, Itami Kawaii, Pukecore, Yanderecore, and Body Horror.

Rape or Incest blogs... or people who find no issues with these things. Also, rape apologists and sympathizers and incest apologists and sympathizers. Y’all are morally deprived and will NEVER be welcome here.

Incels, as well as Incel apologists and sympathizers will NEVER be welcome here. You know where the door is and can show yourself out.

MGTOW/Men Going Their Own Way - While this started off as a great idea to teach men that it is okay to be single and still enjoy life without a girlfriend or boyfriend, it quickly spun out of control when incels got involved. For that reason, please don’t interact with me if you are a part of this group.

Anyone who identifies as an “alpha male” or “alpha male personality” please don’t ever interact with me. Any man who claims to belong to these labels generally only wants to control women and not respect them. There’s the door, morons.

People who claim to be “red-pilled” but instead just use the label to excuse bad behavior towards women and other marginalized groups.

If you support child abuse of any kind or excuse it away as “discipline” you are NOT welcome here and you NEVER will be. Child abuse includes emotional, psychological, mental, financial, physical, and sexual abuse. It also includes spanking. If you are pro-spanking of any kind (sexual or otherwise), DO NOT INTERACT with this blog or with me.

If you are pro-suicide or believe suicide-baiting and/or harassment is okay, GFY.

If you are disrespectful of people who have passed on who were victims of depression or suicide, do not interact.

Bestiality or Zoophilia. Animals cannot offer or accept consent, so y’all ain’t welcome here.

People who are pro-animal abuse are not welcome. NOTE: I am not vegan or vegetarian. I am, however, staunchly against animal abuse. I am also against hunting and fishing unless it absolutely must be done - say, for example, if you are stranded somewhere and you are freezing cold and you kill an animal and skin it so you won’t freeze to death, and you then use the animal as food as well, and try to use every part of it for some purpose. That is okay in my book! But if you go out and just kill an animal because you can, or because you want some trophy on your wall? That is awful. If you are an extreme vegan or extreme vegetarian who believes humanely killing an animal for food is abusing them or you are against hunting for necessary reasons, do not interact with me.

Kink or Kink-related people or blogs. Some specific kinks that are DEFINITELY NOT welcome are Petplay, Hybristophilia (paraphilia in which sexual arousal, facilitation, and attainment of orgasm are contingent upon being with a partner known to have cheated, lied, participated in infidelity, or committed a crime—such as rape or murder), Erotophonophilia (paraphilia in which sexual arousal and attainment of organism are contingent upon the death/murder of a human being), Transgender Pee Fetish, ANY fetish revolving around urination or the passing of bowel movements, Rabiosexuality, anything or anyone on the Virosexual spectrum, and Necrophilia.

Trad-Wife or Trad-Fem. (These individuals may have some good ones among them who are good faith actors and are not claiming moral superiority over anyone, or those who legitimately enjoy the fashion around this type of behavior, but most will not be welcome due to their extremism, anti-feminism, and anti-egalitarianism.)

RadFem or TERF or TWERF (like the ones in this video: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9RuXrlASic0&list=PL6qeiiywoGbwy8VdT7lHhGSRXa0R7bmkr&index=6&t=8s )

Anyone who is anti-feminism, anti-feminist, or anti-egalitarianism.

Holocaust Deniers, NSDAP/National Socialist German Workers' Party members or apologists or sympathizers, Nazis, Neonazis, Nazi Apologists and Sympathizers, Neonazi Apologists and Sympathizers, Einsatzgruppen, Schutzstaffel, SS-Totenkopfverbände, and “Good Germans.” Also, anything to do with the right-facing Swastika - the one used by the Nazis as a symbol that was stolen and changed from the original one that was used in Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism. (As someone with German heritage myself, I find extreme offense to anyone who adheres to these ideologies. Don’t ever interact with me.)

Bigotry of any kind, but particularly against certain legitimate religions, romantic and sexual orientations, gender identities, neopronouns, neurodivergent people, mentally ill people, and mental disorders. (Notice I said LEGITIMATE. There are some identities that I do not accept, like Fictionkin, Animekin, Otherkin, etc. If you are a LEGIT identity, like Genderfluid or Asexual, for example, then you are welcome here and this is a safe space for you. Additionally, I will use any pronouns you want, so long as they are legitimate. I won’t call anyone dog/dogself or tree/treeself but I will call people they/themselves or ey/emself, for example.)

If you are otherkin or are pro-otherkin, especially if you are fictionkin or are pro-fictionkin.

If you use “autistic,” “gay,” “fag,” “qu*er,” “n*gger,” “ret*rded,” or any similar words as insults.

If you support Autism Speaks. They are a terrible organization that is not at all for Autistic people’s rights.

If you support PETA. PETA is a nasty organization that steals, tortures, and kills animals. It also spreads misinformation about real animal rights.

If you support the YouTuber Onision/OnisionSpeaks/UhOhBro. He is a despicable human being and should never be supported.

If you are an outlandish and rude antivaxxer or someone who believes vaccines cause autism. (An allergy to mercury and various metals which are often found in vaccines can cause what seems to be autistic tendencies, but that is an allergic reaction and is not really autism. Additionally, being against vaccines for legitimate medical reasons is fine - for example, if someone is allergic to eggs or chicken and thusly cannot get vaccinated due to most vaccines containing chicken embryonic DNA, that is fine. Also, if you are against vaccines for ethical and moral reasons, that is also okay. Animals like chickens, mice, monkeys, cows, and pigs are often inhumanely tested on for vaccinations and also are often hurt in the process of removing the necessary components from them to make the vaccines. Being against vaccinations for this reason is also fine. Being an anti-vaxxer while ignoring science and putting others down who are pro-vaccination is NOT okay and will not be tolerated.)

If you are an extremist when it comes to abortion. I don’t care which side of the argument you are on - I will not accept pro-birthers or extreme pro-aborts. I understand “pro-birther” to mean those who claim that people must absolutely NEVER have an abortion, even when it is a case of life and death for the mother and child. It also refers to those who are against the general medical procedure of ectopic pregnancy abortions. I understand “extreme pro-aborts” to mean those who would abort in every circumstance and never want women to have children. It also applies to those who would force or coerce a woman into getting an abortion against her will. It also applies to those who support aborting a perfectly healthy baby due to only its biological sex or some other underlying condition (ex. “I wanted a baby boy and I am pregnant with a baby girl. Well, guess I gotta abort her and try again for a boy!” or “I wanted a NORMAL baby, not one with autism/down syndrome/disabilities/handicaps/etc.”).

If you consider yourself to be an exclusionist and are rude or loud about it. Respectful exclusionists may or may not be welcomed here - that is up to the blog owner to decide upon.

Racism and sexism are not tolerated here under any circumstances.

Porn blogs - hard or soft - and SWERFs, as well as any undue bigotry towards sex workers. (I don’t accept softcore or hardcore pornographic blogs interacting with me and my blog, but I also do not shame people in the industry unless they are taking unsafe measures and not keeping themselves healthy, regardless of gender or biological sex. Don’t shame people if they have willingly chosen such a job. If they were coerced or forced into such a job or are underage, then that is a massive issue that I do not tolerate. But if the person has chosen this work willingly, I won’t shame them for it... so long as they are being safe.)

THINSPO or any other people or blogs that glorify eating disorders. Also, anyone who is fatphobic or thinphobic. NOTE: If you object to being so overweight that you have severe medical problems or no longer have an average human shape (see “My 600 Pound Life” for references), then that is fine. What I mean by “fatphobia” is the idea that society shames, blames, and piles guilt upon those who are overweight or fat. If you willingly call people “porker” or “heifer” or any other nasty terms because of their higher weight numbers, you are NOT welcome here. As for thinphobia, objecting to legitimate medical issues like bulimia and/or anorexia is fine. Calling people “chicken legs” or saying that they “need to fatten up” or “get some meat on those bones” is NOT acceptable. Calling anyone any nasty names because of their lower weight numbers is NOT welcome here. (If you have an eating disorder then you are welcome, so long as you don’t think the disorder is a good thing, that everyone would benefit from having an eating disorder, or if you are refusing any type of help - professional or otherwise - with your eating disorder... may that help be planned for the future or current.)

Ableism. As someone who has PTSD and is disabled, ANY type of ableism - be it for physical reasons or mental/psychological reasons - will not be welcomed here. If you are mean, cruel, or oppressive towards anyone on the Disabled spectrum, please leave my blog alone and do not ever interact with me.

Anyone who is against d/Deaf and hard-of-hearing rights. Please also do not use the terms “hearing loss” or “hearing impaired” when referring to a d/Deaf person unless that person actually has lost their hearing or self-identifies that way.

Cringe blogs/people who support cringe culture are not welcome here. (Meme blogs are fine, so long as they don’t make fun of inoffensive interests of people.)

People who spread misinformation around about DID/Dissociative Identity Disorder or who are anti-DID. Alters are real and valid for people with DID - do NOT call them insane or stupid. They are dealing with trauma as well as they can.

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booksaretotallyawesome · 4 years ago