#cries idk why it feels so real to me rn but i hope it never ends

[moving-to-dreamwinged]

sniffling and crying on the floor rn i have been been feeling soooo ‘present’ w my ship lately (if that makes sense ?) and it’s a great feeling but also auugghhhh… ougghhh….. not used to being soft

[love-belle]

looked for stars and i found a supernova !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which it takes a random song drop and a feature from a university student for their relationship to come to light.

or

for when it became true, opposites do attract. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!sargeant!reader

warnings - language

author's note - i am SO sorry i have no explanation for not posting except for the fact that i am now unemployed (i finished hs and don't start college till like august) and i just do Nothing the entire day. i love u all thank u for sticking around <3

≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, lilymhe and 729,816 others

yourusername boys are SO stupid and it's so endearing and frustrating like u r such a DUMBASS pls let me kiss u on the lips (i did ❤️)

8,628 comments

username hahahah!!! funny joke babe!!! kids and i and our goat miss u ❤️

username and like just that my bisexual ass cried tears (i never had a chance)

-> username she's for the girlies every man back OFFFFFF

username going insane over this

username i know logan is in shambles rn like that brother is distraught

-> yourusername he hasn't stopped calling me i had to block his number

-> logansargeant UNBLOCK my number i am your BLOOD

-> yourusername fuck off i will call mom

-> logansargeant have you ever known sanity in your life

-> yourusername have you ever felt loved

-> yourusername sorry can u please tell mom to stop yelling at me it's scary ok

-> username she did NOT need to do him like that

-> username oh that was FOUL

username she's so pretty i simply cannot believe a man can rizz her up

username do we ignore y/n violating her brother like that orrrrr

-> username u are an only child it seems

-> logansargeant it's just that she's mean

-> yourusername go and drown in a pond since u wanna act like a silly goose

username why is charles in the likes he don't even follow her

-> username i have the most funniest and silliest theory and im afraid saying it out loud will send logan into early retirement

alex_albon evil laugh

-> yourusername i pay u ENOUGH. any more and i will have to involve my lawyer WHAT DO U WANT

-> alex_albon ferrari has exceptional pasta

-> yourusername ahahahhajaha what's that got to do with me u little clusterfuck of a twink

-> alex_albon oh! absolutely nothing!

-> username i am screaming what the fuck

-> username "little clusterfuck of a twink" OH MY GOD

username crazy how everything she says is so real idk if that's the fan in me or i am just way too fucking down bad for her

*liked by charles_leclerc*

username love love LOVE see this rep bc my man is such an idiot but it's ok cus he's my princess

-> yourusername YOU GET IT !!!!! he's my princess <3

logansargeant what are you doing

-> yourusername tryna slut him out n then build a lego set w him

-> logansargeant i always knew you would be the one to bring generational shame to our family what is this behaviour

logansargeant what happened to "if i ever talk to a man again i want you to be disappointed in me" ?

-> yourusername u were disappointed in me nonetheless fym

-> logansargeant i

-> maxverstappen1 i can tell we would be great friends yourusername

-> logansargeant no way

logansargeant what happened to BIOLOGY you were supposed to be STUDYING

-> yourusername i did study

-> yourusername his anatomy

-> alex_albon logan just deleted this app i hope you're happy

-> username Y/N PLEASE HESITATE

-> username CRYINF SHE'S SO UNHINGED

username the way i can feel logan's mortification through the screen 😭😭

username when will it be me

username love to see women in stem (seducing the enigmatic men) idk im proud of her i know she was crying abt not finding the love she read bout

-> yourusername this might be my favourite comment ever i adore u

username prophecy be looking a bit too permanent 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 who's gonna change it 🤣🤣🤣 i am on my KNEES 🤣🤣🤣🤣

username everyday i learn something new about y/n and everyday i praise the lord that i can exist at the same time as her

*liked by charles_leclerc*

≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 2,629,916 others

charles_leclerc you're in her dms, i wrote a song for her in under a day when we weren't even dating. we are not the same.

12,628 comments

username CRYING WHAT THE FUCK

username oh my god is this real

username CRYING THE SONG IS TOO GOOD

username HIS VLOCE JIS VOICE HIS VLICE HIS VOICE

username going crazy rn what the fuck

username HELLO?????? WHAT IS THIS

username need me a man like this thank u

username too much unpack he has a GIRLFRIEND and it's Y/N

-> username HE PULLS??? HE PULLED HER???

username this is life altering

username shaking from excitement i cannot WAIT for logan to download instagram again and be Surprised

landonorris disgusting

-> charles_leclerc forgive me for not wanting to hide my love ���️

-> username NAH WHO GOT HIM LIKE THIS

username "thinking bout her eyes every hour she's my wildflower" OH HE'S IN LOVEEEE LOVE

username his voice oh my god

-> username tears dripping down my thighs

-> username OHMYGOD

maxverstappen1 "we are not the same" thank god

-> charles_leclerc bubonic plague 🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠

-> username nurse he's out 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

-> username nah who got him being funny

-> username DID PEOPLE SERIOUSLY NOT LISTEN TO THE SONG

-> username NO WAY THAT'S Y/N AT THE END

-> username "okaaaaaaay" CRYINF I LOVE THEM

username my life has been divided into before this song and after this song and im so grateful for that

username i think the most important thing here is who out of all his friends owns a toyota in which the heat don't work

username crying bc wdym charles wrote a song for his gf when they weren't even dating

username in love with y/n's voice at the end WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

-> username screaming i need this song injected in my veins

yourusername craaaaaaaazy how u never told me that ⁉️

-> charles_leclerc details details

yourusername cool song

-> charles_leclerc thank you i wrote it for my girlfriend

yourusername AHSHDHDJJSJSJAJS IN LOVE THIS WAS SO GOOD UR VOICE IS INSANE I LOVE IT SO MUCH

-> charles_leclerc THANK YOU !! ❤️

-> username they make me SICK

-> username calm bf 🤝 hyperactive gf

username the most important question is did logan re download this app

-> yourusername he did but then he saw this post, heard the song and deleted it again

-> yourusername he's just bitter i am bsfs with max before him

-> logansargeant disowned

-> yourusername my grad pic on the mantle BEGS to differ !!!!!! u are on the piano u have no room to talk

-> logansargeant i'm pushing you out of this year's christmas card

≡.;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 899,527 others

yourusername got him to say he would still love me if i was a worm n now we go on walks and i point at every worm and say sorry i can't be her

tagged charles_leclerc

12,628 comments

username NO WAY THIS JS REAL

username i just want a detailed description of how they met and who asked the other out ☝️😞

username my roman empire the fuck

username the way their personalities crash when will it be me

username THE CAPTION IM SCREAMING

username the way she will never let that man know peace and i am so EXCITED

username she's so unhinged i love her

username LET IT ONCE BE ME PLEASEEE

username blocked (im laying on the highway tonight)

username the way i know logan had to be sedated

-> username my man did nothing wrong why are they torturing him 😭

alex_albon we're down one driver at williams

-> yourusername is it a good time to tell u that i recently got my license

-> logansargeant YOU FAILED YOUR TEST 5 TIMES FUCK OFFFFFFF

-> yourusername big emotions

-> username im cryinf what do you mean shw faield the test 5 TIMES ????

username LMAOO THE LAST SLIDE 😭😭😭 I LOVE HER

username parents dare i say

username max is not happy i can tell

-> yourusername i received a very strongly worded message from him yesterday and the only thing i could make out was that he's a bitch for charles like. a BITCH.

-> maxverstappen1 blasphemy

-> logansargeant NO WAY you're buddies with MAX VERSTAPPEN before ME back OFFFFFF

-> yourusername nurse he is out again 🗣️🗣️🗣️

-> username what are they doing to my boy 😭

logansargeant y/n please. THINK.

-> yourusername i did

-> logansargeant AND ?

-> yourusername he's nice i will keep him

-> logansargeant NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-> yourusername god forbid a girl wants to date a questionable man

-> charles_leclerc ?

username crazy how this is the most random couple ever and we're instantly like PARENTS !!!!

-> username i for once love them like the cultural clashes we're gonna get heh

charles_leclerc my love please

-> yourusername my pronouns are she not her because i'll never be her 🪱

-> charles_leclerc stop

charles_leclerc and can you please tell your brother to hesitate before speaking? he just offered me candy and a dollar to break up with you

-> yourusername FUCK U I AM WORTH WAY MORE THAN CANDY AND A DOLLAR

-> charles_leclerc that is not the issue here

charles_leclerc pretty girl

-> logansargeant keep your thoughts to yourself you hormonal vulgarian

-> yourusername TIME OUT FOR U let my bf live

-> charles_leclerc this is how my life is going to be from now on?

-> yourusername are u complaining (threatening)

-> username i KNOW logan is shaking behind the screen he just called charles leclerc a hormonal vulgarian

-> username sibling rage takes people places they wouldn't go with a gun

username this is hilarious

username logan's likes on twt are mind blowing like what do u MEAN u wish the plague on ur sister 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-> yourusername u should see what his texts look like

-> yourusername "you need an excoeciscism for the demon in u it might an issue idk" followed by quora links

-> username siblings ❤️

≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, logansargeant, carlossainz55 and 2,729,915 others

charles_leclerc silently working on our own little crafts in the same room tonight, queen? ❤️

tagged yourusername

11,628 comments

username CRYINGGGGG I HATE HIS GUTS

username LET IT ONCE BE ME HOLY SHITTTTTT

username they're so parents it's insane

username he's so relatable bc i too would be obsessed with y/n

username he definitely has one of those t-shirts that say "i ❤️ my gf"

-> yourusername he has one in every colour with diff fonts :((((

-> username GOODBYE

username need me a man who will sit in my general vicinity while we work on our own silly little crafts together

-> username charles might've just set a standard idk NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS

username that text.............im violently ill

username the matching rings wow god really does have favourites

yourusername wait a sec i got 12000% error on my scale

-> landonorris how do you even manage to do that

-> yourusername if u think women don't belong in stem just say that

-> landonorris STOP IT MY PR TEAM IS HUNTING ME DOEN FOR SPROT TAKE JT BACK

-> charles_leclerc shame on you

-> landonorris WJAT DID I DO

-> username crying they're terrorizing people for fun 😭

-> username we deserve this

yourusername fighting demons (a degree that i chose to study) to be on my phone bc my BOYFRIEND posted

-> charles_leclerc don't give logan more reasons to send me vaguely veiled threats

-> yourusername he does WHAT

-> logansargeant sending him links on how people got away with murder is HARDLY a threat idk why you're like this

-> username no way they got him UNHINGED

-> username 😭😭😭😭😭 he's so

yourusername MY BABY LEO 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

-> charles_leclerc i am right there

-> yourusername so is leo 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

yourusername are u mitosis bc i never metaphase as cute as urs

-> charles_leclerc i am too dumb to understand this but you are the prettiest

-> yourusername king i am so in love with u

-> logansargeant i judt tfeew up

-> yourusername leave me ALONE

username i hope all the happy couples break up (why couldn't it be me in a relationship)

username SCREAMING HE'S SO DOWN BAD

[hakucho-art]

HAPPY BIRTHDAG MY BELOVED WIFE!!!

can we get a recap of your favourite experiences the past year???🥺🥺🥺🥺

NAWWW, WHY ARE YOU GUYS BEING SO ADORABLE RN 😭♥️♥️

Uhmmm uhm, DEFINITELY finishing that My R animatic is one of them. Ive been wanting of making one before I even really started drawing. I was really happy that I finally made it wjdvjwvd

Hyping up about the tg countdown was fun, I didnt mind what the reveal was that much wjdvwjvd

COMIC CON WITH YOU WAS GREAT, as it is every year, duh. Visiting you is always a highlight ♥️

Meeting Leila as well 💕 Meeting online friends for the first time is always special, I feel so privileged and happy that Ive been able of doing that

Comic con germany with my friend was also amazing because that was the first time I made a trip with her and really enjoyed it

Generally so grateful for my irl friends and online friends (all equally my friends for all I care) because you guys always cheer me up and bring me joy.

Also my mum, the most important person in my life, I'm so glad I have her. I love her so much.

The concerts I went to: mother mother (BANGER), olivia Rodrigo (magical), the Rose (made me understand Kpop fans so deeply), the nier concert (I may have cried a little), TOUCHED (THE GAY PANIC I HAD), Lordi (I wouldnt do it again but hearing metal music live is a really cool experience)

Being able to visit my grandpa again in azerbaijan and celebrating his birthday 🤲💕

It was also cool to have my first job but to be real. Best part was ofc receiving money KWVDJJWD my colleagues were kind but my superior with whom I interacted the most had such a... idk heavy, stressed, negative aura. I hope she is doing well but god, that made me so anxious. Social anxiety was NOT helping. So yeah, quitting felt also amazing uwu

UHHH, ALL THE ZINES I WORKED ON, now that is truly one of the highlights. I love working on zines (even tho I'm a chronic procastinator, god help me) but yh, the 9S2B zine was especially a joy to work on as a Mod ♥️

Every single time making and Posting touken art, god I love them. A big contributor to the joy in my life, I love being obsessed with ships JWVFJVW Ive always been that way and im probably never going to change in that regard. When I dont have characters to ship, I will (literally, I used to do that as a child) ship colors. I am unstoppable

Its really shitty that negative experiences stay much stronger in our minds, I first needed a moment to remember the good stuff because my mind first went to all the bad stuff. Thank you for the question my wife, I really needed that 🤲

Makes me realize how much there was to smile about

[allamericanb-tch]

crimson rivers thoughts (17)

@tastetherainbow290 this is so long sorry 😭😭 please forgive me for breaking into song several times the choir kid in me can’t help it

chapter 41

MARLENE NO

no way mcgonagall knew and just let this happen

THIS WAS DUMBLEDORES IDEA and just when i thought he couldn’t get worse 

voldy wanted to kill james regulus AND sirius? oh my

i know regulus and sirius both make it but. oh my.

god i hate dumbledore

ariana dumbledore reference??

black family reunion at the HUNGER GAMES ?!

yaxley and lestrange too?! 

alice 💔

EMMELINE NO

district 10 is gonna be like that one couple in catching fire the nerdy ones i can’t remember their names

i can’t remember if marlene has had a pov or not but i really hope she doesn’t die

genuinely i can’t remember how catching fire ends and i can’t ever watch the hunger games without thinking of crimson rivers again

“i hate him” take it back james you don’t mean that

dorcas making regulus look dangerous 

dorcas making sirius look plain

remus pov switch

🎶i know you get deja vu🎶

oh. he doesn’t know.

“it’s not fair” i am in shambles 

 chapter 42

aberforth pov jump scare

😧

why did dumbledore murder his lover ☹️

i am appreciating the sibling dynamic of albus and aberforth

emmeline

i feel so bad for dorcas rn

oh ok dorlene is dorlening again

hanky panky

oh marlene is kicking dorcas out now 

what is the ring for

lily!!!!!

oh a mission what is this about 

effie and monty?!

ok i love kingsley

i really want remus and lily to reunite

im scared for this mission

aberforth pov again

i like that their code words are their patronus

aberforth is in on it!! 

oh no what’s gonna happen to district 6

“she never killed anyone, until now” 😯

OH

MARY ?! 

😧

oh no effie

“Our boy's boy's boy.” this should not be as funny to me as it is but i’m glad to be laughing in the midst of all this

barty 

andromeda too

omg

aberforth what are you doing

oh! 

ted 💔

this was a hard chapter

i’m taking a break to rewatch the jegulus short film for the millionth time

chapter 43

please let this be lighter

“the hallows already know them, or they believe they do” this is giving me such. a feeling. idk the word 😭 but like yk how people idolize celebrities and think they know everything about them? like that

platonic moonwater <3

sirius and james are talking

remus leaping to go find sirius

they’re kissing ahhhh

"I love you more than the tides love the moon. I'm as temperamental as the ocean, and just the same, I'm at your mercy. Give me a ship, and I will wreck it at your command." 

hanky panky? hanky panky. 

spine realignment 😭😭

james stop you’re being mean

“He shuts the door gently, locks it, and goes to start a bath. At least there, when he cries, he can lie to himself about why.” 💔

why did i forget slughorn is in the phoenix

dorcas making a plan

lily!!!

effie is okay hooray

“I'm quite in love with Marlene McKinnon." DORLENE!!!!!! ❤️

SO THIS IS WHY SHE WANTS TO STEAL THE TRIBUTES ah love. how i love love. 

chapter 44

this chapter is literally called bad decisions. oh my. 

“brief depiction of violence (you'll probably like it, bc it's james being sexy)” 😭😭

“sirius and the other one” JAMES stop being so stubborn

yk im not even mad about james beating lucius with his cane

frank just “you can’t do that james”

then it just cuts to remus and sirius Hanky Panky 😭

pandora: james assaulted lucius 😧 sirius: haha nice

bellatrix is so bellatrix

regulus you traitor

🎶you betrayed me and i know that you’ll never feel sorry🎶

everyone just mocking sirius 😭

“Choose me. Pick me. Protect me." so pick me. choose me. love me.

“Reflexively, James smiles at him, lopsided and warm, because, for just a moment, he's living in a world where seeing Regulus fills him with joy, with delight, with love.” 

regulus here to fight?!

“i hate you so fucking much” and then they start kissing 😭 honestly so real

giggling my feet rn

A PARTING GIFT JAMES YOU DIDNT i wish you could’ve seen my face when i read this oh my god

sirius evaluation time

oh my regulus what

sirius what are you doing

oh? eat i guess 😭

why is regulus visiting lucius 

🎶i don’t smoke except for when im missing you🎶

they’re having dinner. hmm.

evan 💔

he got the lowest score 😭 shocking im shocked who would have guessed this

well.

chapter 45

cream cheese bagels!! (i’m tagging you in my mind runar)

of course james hates bagels now why is he so petty

🎶you know how scared i am of elevators never trusted them🎶

augusta always suspicious of frank and alice 😭

oh james and regulus are alone again

and they’re kissing

Hanky Panky in the elevator 😭

really just out here ruining all dorcas’ hard work

sirius knows exactly what they were doing

james “i don’t want to talk about it” potter

narcissa pulling the baby card?! ok peeta

quillkiller is quillkillering

“He's going to die never hearing Regulus say he loves him” ☹️ prove him wrong reggie

augusta you icon

sirius you menace

“my moon” ❤️‍🩹

regulus interview time

jegulus ☹️

yes regulus

REGULUS “IF IT WASNT FOR THE WEDDING” BLACK is everyone peeta in this chapter

me when i lie

i’m giving you an all tomato. which means you give me the whole tomato, or else. (please get the ref)

alphard ?!

omg were they lovers i’m so here for this

oh no marlene

GUNSHOTS?!

ew voldy booooo 🍅🍅🍅

SNIVELLUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE 

"There will be one winner. I do not care what it takes, but you will not allow it to be Sirius or Regulus Black, am I understood?" 😧

DONT KILL THE MCKINNONS?!

no no no please let james say goodbye to sirius and regulus 

chapter 46

remu ❤️‍🩹

“Whether it's me or him or both of us, James, you won't."  don’t hurt me in this way

god i’m gonna cry

SPINE REALIGNMENT sirius please 😭

regulus volunteering for james to spite sirius 😭

remus and regulus friendship ❤️‍🩹

the stapler 😭 lily 

"I'm not waiting around for you to be too late this time." ahhhh marlene

“No one or nothing can have it, because it belongs only to James” 🤭

parting gift mention 😧

why is this so sad omg i can’t handle any more angst

they’re kissing!

"I would have married you”

SIRIUS BIT REMUS 😭😭

so much hanky panky in this chapter 

wolfstar ❤️‍🩹

if this was anyone but remus and sirius it would give me the ick

they’re so cute i love them why do they have to say goodbye

🎶why do you have to say goodbye🎶if i say goodbye the nation learns to move on it outlives me when im gone🎶 

they’re not Just Friends anymore!!!

“always too late” ☹️

dorlene is so sad in this omg. but i guess everything is so sad in this 😭

dorcas cutting marlene’s hair

jegulus ☹️

“I do everything I do because I love you!" “So do I!" 😯

“It's the first time James speaks his name since telling him that he hated him.”

baby

this physically pains my heart to read. i just want them to be happy. 

"Would you marry me?" jegulus getting engaged?! 

i don’t think im gonna read another chapter today… since they’re going in the arena…

[ravenoclock]

@labyrinthhofmymind

IM BACCKKK

Spoilers for a fic called presque vu by bizzarestars

TYSM FOR UR RESPONSE AAAA UR THE FIRST PERSOM WHO’S LISTENED TO MY RANTS AND AVGUALLY LIKES THWM SO TYSM UR THE BEST <33

CHAPTER ELEVEN MFS

Shit’s getting deep yall I grabbed the tissues just in case.

*clears throat* okay so starting off sad with Lily’s parents dying right off the bat. Holy fuck. And the fact that she didn’t cry until after the funeral?? MY GIRL DJSKSKKSKA. I CANT RN. and Sirius being like ‘I wanna fuck Remus’ and Harry being like ‘nuh-uh’ and crying LMAO. Hilarious.

He lives anyway, in the end. They both do. Rats can survive in even the most dire of conditions, and all dogs were wild once. They both make it through, just not together. Rats and dogs rarely get along.

Foreshadowing comes in many forms.

Fuck. I can’t today. PETER PETER PETER. JUST ARGHH. WHY WHY WHY.

"No," Sirius croaks. "I can't ever imagine grieving you."

I’m on my way to go dig a grave for myself who’s with me? Cuz why? Would? You? Do? That? To? Me? Why? What? What the fuck??? I’ve spent so long deluding myself into believing canon isn’t real and that the marauders grew old and grey and happy together and then I read fics like these because I think im strong enough but in reality I just created a dream I can shatter (catch my reference? No? Yes?) but id rather the delusion shatter than my sanity but at this point idk. BEAR WITH ME. I’ll get therapy dw.

Sirius is right there with him, as that saying goes. She's growing, too, one day at a time even as she digs her heels in for every inch. She's just as imprisoned as him, in her own way. A prison of her own body, her blood, her name. She's been a prisoner her whole life.

Dead. Why is this so amazing??? Like I feel it in the very depths of my soul I swear.

JAMES WANTED CHILDREN. PLURAL. WHAT THE ACTUAL- I CANT. HARRY WAS GOING TO HAVE SIBLINGS. I FEEL NAUSEATED. IM GONNA THROW UP EVERYTJING INSIDE OF ME I SWEAR.

(This, too, is a prison. You feel that, don't you, deep down inside? One day soon, you'll be free from it, only for it to be replaced by another.)

The foreshadowing is crazy. Insane. Every other word for practically amazingly heart wrenchingly horrible.

Lily was pregnant. Lily was pregnant Lily was pregnant Lily was pregnant she had a baby she had a baby there was a baby THERE WAS ANOTHER BABY COMING THERE WAS ANOTHER FUCKING BABY COMING AND THEY FUCKING DIED AND THE BABY NEVER GOT TO LIVE THEY HAD ANOTHER BABY. HARRY WAS GOING TO HAVE A SIBLING. LILY WAS FUCKING PREFNANT. OH LORD IM GOING TO CRY A WHOLE FUCKING LOT NOW.

What if Halloween just doesn’t exist. They’ll live happily ever after right? Right? RIGHT????????

For Peter, this is, as the saying goes, his final straw. The camel's back is not only broken, it's been cleaved in half, and the fear spills out over the sides like blood, leading only to the promise of more. He's been straddling the line between both sides for nearly a year now, giving only bits and pieces of information to the death eaters just to make sure they won't kill him in duels, never enough for the Order to even suspect a proper spy at all, but now he knows which side is losing for sure, after this side has suffered so much loss, so it's time he throws his lot in where he can stop being afraid. He wants to survive like a rat, and gets his wish.

Fucking coward. I hope he dies a painful dead. Oh wait, he does. (I actually don’t remember. Does he? Idk if he dies at all ngl.)

Out of everyone, Marlene's are the only dreams that come true.

God fucking damn. Can I cry now? Oh my god. Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god. Marlene ml. You will be missed.

I rly can’t. The first death out of the main group came and went. It doesn’t feel as heart wrenching as it does when I read Marlene’s death in The Hand That Feeds cuz it wasn’t in her perspective, and Sirius is awfully and unhealthily detached and it’s just so so fucking sad I can’t even.

She died. I cried.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Strapping in because Zar said so.

The fact that people think the spy is Sirius. Because of his last name. A name she can’t control. A name that came from a reputation they tried so hard to remove themselves from only for others to only see it. The name ‘Black’ and what it’s associated with. I hope they all fuck themselves.

Sirius shouldn't even know about it, nor should Remus, or Peter, or Augusta—but of course, they all find out because Frank and Alice trust the latter, while James and Lily trust the former three. One couple here has made a mistake. Hint: it's not the one with parents.

OHHHHH MY GOD.

"Sirius isn't a fucking toy," James snaps.

Remus arches an eyebrow. "Then why do you treat him like one?"

Oh my lord. Oh my fucking lord.

It's funny. When the doubt creeps in, Remus will think about the question Sirius asked, and Sirius will think about the answer Remus gave, but neither will think about how Peter said nothing at all.

So…I don’t know what to say anymore. I can’t say anything. It’s so awful.

Mary ran. Dorcas died. Peter should die.

The emmary makes me want to die, too. WHY DIDNT EMMELINE GO WITH HER. MARY OBLIVIATED HERSELF TRYING TO PROTECT HETSELF.

Whoever the spy is, Sirius thinks that day, they're smart, and they're brutal, and they're not doing this just out of fear. There's more to it than just that, more that Sirius can recognize in the mirror; a deep, dark pit that the worst crawls out of, unleashed on those who don't think it exists there. This is someone who may not have always been a monster, but knows how to become one, and maybe believes that's the only option they have. This is someone, despite how hard it is to fathom and how hard it is to accept, that Sirius knows.

Irony never misses a chance to take center-stage in the tragic play of their lives. Believe it or not, they're still in act one. They're on their way to act two, though, one cut from the cast of characters at a time.

Peter doesn’t deserve to cry for deaths he fucking caused. He doesn’t deserve Sirius comforting him. He doesn’t deserve any mercy at all.

Very close now, with Dorcas out. Take a wild guess at who's next.

Emmeline. Lily and James. Those are my guesses.

Sirius starting to doubt Remus kills me.

Sirius thinking Remus is Dumbledore’s spy…im pretty sure he wasn’t? Was he? Maybe he was but I only remember Peter being both. Like Peter was the double agent before turning to work for baldy voldy.

The fact that Sirius thinks it’s Remus. The fact that none of them suspect Peter not even once.

Them trying to convince their best friends that the other is the spy. Why. Peter wasn’t mentioned once. I actually want to puke.

Also Dorcas. Just. Dorcas :( And then Mary running tf away cuz she’s done. I wanna die. Wolfstar fighting and falling in love during A WAR. MY LOVES. THEY FONT DESERVE IT.

I read like chapters 13-21 in a haze. Here’s my thoughts (not in any order whatsoever):

- Azkaban is so shitty to the extent that there’s no words to describe how fucked it is and how dehumanizing it makes its prisoners feel, innocent or not

- The entire chapter where Sirius was described without any pronouns was GENIUS and so brilliant I loved it

- Sirius passing time as Padfoot but forgetting a lot because of Padfoot and Azkaban :(

- Sirius using the dementors as a way of sh :(

- Sirius not remembering who his first kiss was (JAMES) actually KILLED ME

- OLDER WOLFSTAR REUNION WHOOP WHOOP I LOVE THEM

- THE HURT/COMFORT SCENE <333333

- THEYRE SO IN LOVE THAT I MIGHT STOP BREATHING

- THE BUGS oh the FUCKING bugs thing destroys me. i cried, threw up, did the whole thing. cuz GOD I WANT SOMEONE TO UNDERSTAND ME LIKE THAT HOLY SHIT. I LOVE THEM.

- Sirius and Crookshanks are cool asf

- DUMBKEDORE YOU MAD MAN WHY DO I LIKE YOU

- KINGSLEY

- Remus being jealous of Kingsley low key had me giggling and twirling my hair cuz Sirius is so oblivious like ‘oh he’s funny, and we’re mates’ AGAHSHGAA

- also Remus being like ‘we’re just friends’ you and who buddy? Ain’t no one buying that. And Sirius glaring holes into his head is so AHAHAHAHH. And then Sirius holding it against him for the next few chapters is actually hilarious. He’s so petty. I love them.

- Sirius: ‘hello buddy, best mate, my best of all pals’

Remus: ‘I sense I’ve made a mistake somewhere’

ZAR WRUTING THAT IS SO FUNNY. I think i might’ve cried from laughter.

- REMUS TELLS SIRIUS EVERYTHING. WOLFSTAR IS COMMUNICATING. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I LOVE IT.

- Sirius being upset that she’s not allowed to be there on Remus’ full moons is so cute, and then Remus letting her take care of him after, always, is so so adorable.

- MOLLY. THE WEASLEY TWINS. HERMIONE. HARRYYY MY DARLING.

- WE MET THE GOLDEN ERA KIDDSSSSSS

- also the doubt that maybe Peter wasn’t the spy and he had a reasonable explanation for it is so heartbreaking I actually wanted to puke. I think i did puke.

- PROFESSOR LUPIN. ENDEARING. FOND. SIRIUS COMBUSTING EVERYTIME REMUS FLIRTS WITH HIM. PERFECTION.

- Sirius singing in Azkaban :((

- the cross words. WAXING MOON.

THEY WERE MADE FLR EACHOTHER YOUR HONOR.

Thx for coming to my Ted Talk <3.

Btw I’m so sorry i haven’t been on tumblr recently. Been a bit busy.

[outlawssweetheart]

Sorry I'm only reacting now to your OC post ! 😩 I'm glad you managed to get the draft back haha ! Hoping this one doesn't disappear as well ! 🤞

I'm always weak for the thought of dad Erron being scared of fatherhood at first and suddenly realizing how much he loves his baby. Holding Lizzie for the first time must have been such a strong revelation for him. Makes me wonder if he was the one who brought up the thought of a second child? 👀 Like, Lizzie was pretty much unplanned from what I understand but Lana ? 🧐 I think Skarlet would be torn between being overjoyed at the prospect of having a second child and being surprised that it was Erron who brought up the idea ! 💖

Honestly I'd love to learn more about their family dynamic, especially Lizzie because I find it sooo funny how she'd be like- the only "normal" person in this family of murderous adrenaline junkies. 😂 Her parents being weird in front of her friends would probably embarrass her as well !

Also I'm curious about how Skarlet would develop as a person in your story because I remember you saying you weren't really up for a redemption arc for her canonically. Yet, she finds herself being a mom and leaving a rather "normal-ish" family life in Earthrealm. What do you think would bring her to this point in her life in your story ?

Finally, I'm curious because you often mention your stories/books/fanfics and I've been wondering if you have ever posted any of them? Like, I remember seeing snippets of your original stories but do you have any of them or any fanfics published?

(Sending you my support for your writing projects btw ✨)

I've never actually thought about it, when they decided to have a 2nd kid. Like I honestly never thought about it, or if she was planned or another accident, but I LOVE the idea that Erron suggested having another! Lizzie is 7 years older than Lana, so that's quite some years between kids. I suppose that after her, they figured she'd be an only child, but then years later they caught the Baby Fever and just wanted another one.

I think he was shook holding Lizzie for the first time. He probably cried a bit, but he would never admit to it. (Skarlet knows. He denies it, but she saw it.) Not only realizing that he loves his child but also feeling the weight of his own familial trauma... all at once. Maybe that's why she let him be the one to name her? 🥺

I think Elizabeth is a bit of a Sad Girl™. (I have "Ow (Intro)" by Pom Pom Squad and "Human" by Christina Perri on her Pinterest board section for my original story, so I must've been cooking a bit for her.) Which makes sense; one of the children is bound to get Skarlet's and Erron's melancholy, and it ain't Lana! 🤷🏽‍♀️ (Sidenote: I remembered that they're both low-key named after Lana Del Rey because her real name is Elizabeth! 😭 I mean, she is my Skarron queen! 🫶🏽)

As for Skarlet: That's my CONTRARIAN ASS because I love Skarlet as a villain, but I also love the idea of her and Erron just living a domestic life together. *sighs* So in The Bubblegum Project (the story I mentioned because I have another one that I'm supposed to be writing rn), Lana's mother is a vampire, her father is a 185-year-old witch, and they settle down in Texas, acting normal. (He uses witchcraft to secure a job as a history professor, and she has a job as a showgirl at a fancy burlesque club.) However, he's a hitman on the side, and she's still killing people for blood even though there is a medication to fill the need for blood. (I reblogged this gif-set to my writing/story inspo blog for them, and I just love the idea of Erron & Skarlet having that kind of dynamic, due to the way Erron still shows signs of his humanity. *chef's kiss* TOP-TIER ship dynamic for me! 🤌🏽)

I think they got to that point because she got pregnant, WOOPSIES, and they wanted to give their child the best life they could. Idk exactly where my OCs were living, but they knew their lifestyles (which would've been similar to Skarron's) weren't good for a child to grow up in. And Skarlet and Erron would know that Outworld is not a good place for a child to grow up in. Skarlet knows that firsthand. And it's most definitely not safe because they've both likely made enemies there.

And unfortunately, no, I have anything written or published yet. I have 2 old Marvel fanfics, and I started writing a Scream fanfic over 2 years ago, but my attention span is garbage, along with the fact that I hate my own writing. 😩 And I have bits and pieces of original stories written, just the beginning of a chapter here and there, but nothing really yet. But THANK YOU! 🫶🏽

[angelosearch]

My initial screaming thoughts on the Avatar the Last Air Bender live action remake on Netflix. Spoilers for eps 1-4 below, will watch 5-8 later today probably.

I want to hug this casting director and also ask them how they pulled the chacters straight out of the cartoon and made them real.

IROH IS SO GOOD OMG

Lol wow the dialogue is really leaving nothing up to the imagination. Exposition exposition exposition. Get why they are doing it this way but it gets reeeeeally clunky sometimes.

We must say the exact number of years that everything has happened and everyone's age

hope line in ep 1 is straight out of Ember Island Players

WOW THE BENDING

WOW THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY

The ostrich horses are chocobos and I am not taking any questions

😭 The airbender genocide is horrifying (as it should be)

Animals are a tad uncanny valley but I am okay with it

I appreciate that they kept so much of the original music even though it feels a little out of place for something live action

The tone is much more mature. The themes are different in a good way - they haven't changed much of what exists in the canon, just shifted focus. Adult side characters are getting more story. Stakes feel higher. Violence! Grittiness!

Firebenders are really fucking evil so they need to balance it with more morally gray/evil earthbenders and more upfront sympathy/development for Iroh and Zuko

This show could be enjoyable to someone who has never seen the cartoon before but it is definitely written for us, those who had our hearts broken by the movie

Sokka is not overtly sexist and honestly I'm okay with it. I like that arc for him in the animated tv show but with the tone of the live action, he couldn't just be funny sexist, he would have to be dark sexist and that just wouldn't be Sokka. Plus I like how they focus more on Sokka's sense of duty because it creates a good foil for Aang.

I was never really a big Sokka/Suki shipper but DAMN.

KYOSHI PLEASE STEP ON ME ALL I REALLY WANNA BE A GIANT WOMAN OMG THEY TOOK STUFF FROM THE BOOKS

I am getting more Zutara vibes rn than Katara/Aang idk

Okay they are condensing the plot but in really smart ways. We aren't losing much.

The set design. The costuming. SO PERFECT. Ohmashu looked great.

DANIEL PUDI AAAAHHHHHHHH

THE. CABBAGE. MERCHANT. 10/10 IT'S THE VOICEACTOR THEY CAST HIM IN THE LIVE ACTION

they mention secret tunnels. Are they gonna do it? Are they gonna keep it in?? YEEEESSSS FUCK YES OKAY THIS REMAKE IS AMAZING

I really like how they made the tunnels about sibling love tbh

Utkarsh Ambudkar disappears into the role of Bumi and it is SO GOOD

Me: *cries as Zuko comforts Iroh at Lu Ten's funeral* My husband: "Wait, listen to the music" Me: *listens* *lays down* *CRIES A LOT*

This show is very focused on showing what a 100 year war does to people and I think that was a good direction to take

Overall I am VERY happy with it. They understood the assignment, there is a ton of love for the show weaved into it, and I am excited to see more.

[akaakeis]

oh nooooo i tripped and fell for u into ur ask box

eating ny ice cream rn ;; strawberry is such a weird flavour like if i had to choose and get one i would not get strawberry but if irs rhere at home im finishinf ALL of it

ALSO, DRAWING ON PEOPLE'S HANDS 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

anyways about the iwa smau!!! genuinely have no motivation rn #tweaks BUT i would like to say that the yn is shamelessly based off me like i have consumed acrylic paint on multiple occasions (today) (with ice cream)

ILYT!!!!! IM WRITING THIS RN SO I CANT RESPOND (CRIES)

lost a mark in my chem test today im tweaking

BUT THE FREAKY ENGLISH TEACHER SAID IM ON THE RIGHT TRACK AND DOING GOOD AND AN ATTENTIVE STUDENT AND LIKR????????? ERMMMM SHES INSANE BUT FHE ACADEMIC VALIDATION GOES SOOO HARD

also like lowkey icl i was hanging around ur blog again rn and thats why i decided to send an ask !! ur blog is so pretty rrrrr

I ALSO BASICALLY JUST PEAKED IN HS CUZ THE LIBRARIAN RECOGNISED ME AND GAVE ME A BOOK RECOMMENDATION AND LET ME TAKE IT EVEN THOUGH IT DIDN'T HAVE THE PROPER STUFF TO BE FILED AS BORROWED (like each book has a code and this one didnt and she STILL gave it to me) SO LIKE BASICALLY SHE TRUSTS ME BC IVE BEEN OVER HERE FOR LIKE A YESR AT LEADT TAKING A BOOK THEN COMING BACK 1-2 DAYS LATER CUZ I FINISHED IT LOLOLS

also about OUR iwa fic i was js thinking like,, fake dating this dumbass b word ushiwaka and hes like ?? why me ??? "ur names rhyme kind of" ?? wth ??

lowkey think im immune to anything thats in acrylic paint now bc i have Eaten So Much Of It

anyways the book is lowkey good i havent finished it YET but irs called the girl on the train and like woahhhhhh smth like that at our super conservative school is iNsane

i hope u feel better soon!!! if u dont ill fly over and idk. magic

i have a maths test tmr rjejsjskssk the topic is fun but I Don't Know what if i Fail

OSHIT I WAS SUPPOSED TO LOCK IN AND DO HW OOPS ERM HRU TELL ME AB UR DAY ETC ETC and also any sav x yaku tidbits youd like to drop <- forgot the ship name AND AND AND THE ANONS THINF IS SO REAK KMFG

ok byebye ily xx

ah thats a shame 😞😞 hope your knee or whatever u banged on the way in heals up well lina 😞

yum yum yum ice cream!! i hope ur enjoying it!! also thats so real i feel like strawberry ice cream is just an odd flavor... but true that i always eat the strawberry ice cream in the freezer just to spite my other roommate (with love!!!) LMAO

also real 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ i adore when people draw on me or let me draw on them it js makes me so happy <3

DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO WORK ON IT!! BE SPORADIC!! DO IT WHENEVER YOU GET IDEAS!!! WE WILL STICK AROUND TO READ WHENEVER U DECIDE TO WRITE

NOOO NOT THE CHEM TEST IM SORRY LINA :((( ITLL ALL WORK OUT THO

NOT THE ENGLISH TEACHER. IM SORRY SHES MY OPP FROM WHAT IVE HEARD ABOUT HER SHES FREAKY I FEAR. BUT FOR THE ACADEMIC VALIDATION I SUPPOSE I GET IT...

HELP i didnt ever realize how much time you spent on my blog like genuinely 😭 BUT THANK YOU SM!! im super proud of this theme even tho its not the most intricate <3

WOOOW THE LIBRARIAN RECOGNIZED YOU AND TRUSTED YOU W AN UNFILED BOOK??? i aspire to be you but i never step foot into my school library i much prefer my public library... there's sm more books that i read there!!! BUT THATS GENUINELY SO COOL WTF

bro that fic will genuinely be so funny 😭 like the quote we were yapping ab earlier "ushijima?? the hell?? you don't even go to the same school as him?? 😨" iwa would be more confused than anything at first AND I THINK THATS HILARIOUS!! and pls ushijima just AGREEING hes a closeted himbo i swear i swear i swear

alina im genuinely concerned over the fact that you CONSUME acrylic paint? but whatever? i guess? please dont eat too much that's definitely not meant to be consumed 🧍‍♀️

im gonna add that book to my tbr list!! i read the synopsis and it sounds pretty good tbh

THANK YOU!! my roomie is taking care of me so i'll probably be fine within the next few days 🙂‍↕️

AND GOOD LUCK!! im sure you'll do amazing dont even play w me rn alina YOU WILL DO SO SO SO WELL YOU LITTLE MATH NERD (affectionate)

OH YEAH GO DO HOMEWORK WTF 😭 IM GOOD! I FEEL BETTER TODAY <3 IVE BEEN IN BED SINCE I WOKE UP SO THERE ISNT MUCH TO TELL YOU ABOUT BUT UHHHH LAST NIGHT I WATCHED HOWLS MOVING CASTLE WITH MY ROOMMATE!! SAV X YAKU IS SAVORI!!! COURTESY OF BAKERY ANON MY LOVE 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ UMM I DONT HAVE TIDBITS RN BUT ILL DM YOU WITH RANDOM ONES SOMETIME DURING THE DAY TRUST!!

bye bye!! ily ily <3

[slytherinshua]

He's just precious. I definitely need to watch some of his live performances! I love it when artists really get into the music. Yechan is quite fun to watch, he seems to get quite into it. And Wonsang!! I love it when he is making faces while playing bass (generally I'm reacting the same way to his parts ahaha)

People are honestly so tough to deal with sometimes lol. I'd become a recluse if I could ahaha. I was talking about this with my brother once, when I finally have enough money to move out (not anytime soon 😭) I NEED to live with someone else. Partly for safety, but also because if I don't I'll become a hermit and never leave ahaha (also because I despise cooking and there is a very real possibility that I'll just starve instead lol). I'm glad you enjoy talking to me, I do too! (Feel free to message me anytime too!)

That's exciting, I hope it goes well!! Are you working towards grades or anything? Or do you just go along with music that you want to learn? Lessons on zoom seems interesting, online classes were hard enough sometimes so music lessons must have been something else. It is literally so hard to find motivation to practice! Like I want to be better, but I don't want to practice ahaha. Although I use to really have to practice because my mum taught me for a while so she'd definitely know if I didn't 😭

Oh wow you were so close to them!! I'd probably forget to how to pose as well, although I can't really pose in general without it being awkward lol. That's really cute that he was telling you what he was going to do

i remember my favourite hyunsang song (or maybe favourite song of all time in general) is snowflake and i watched the live of it and there's this one part where he looks back at his band/orchestra behind him and just smiles so widely before he goes up onto the lifted platform to do his guitar solo AND IDK IT MADE ME EMO CAUSE I NEVER SEE THAT BIG SMILE FROM HIM HES SO CUTE (here if u wanna see it btw)

yechan is always so mesmerizing to watch he gets SO into the music and playing you just can't take your eyes off of him!! wonsang always has fun with it and dances, smiles so wide, or focuses really hard when hes doing hard parts on the bass i just love him i could talk about him all day

yeah and its pretty bad i don't have like any interaction irl its all online and im kinda thankful for that because its a lot easier to deal with interactions online than in person its a lot less stressful 😭😭 but i never go outside i swear 😭😭 i feel like i would get so lonely if i was living alone even though i don't tend to think of myself as someone who needs in person social interaction... but i think it would build up and hit hard if i no longer had people around me to talk to even a little every day like my family.... hehe i will its so fun to talk to you ^^

rn i do plan to take another music exam probably grade 6 since that'll be the easiest to do. i need it for a high school credit so we'll see how it goes. i've done grade 3 and grade 5 in the past and got first class honors both times i think but it's still extremely stressful i think i cried both times lmao 😭😭 technically im more grade 8 or 9 piano but i don't want to do a higher level when i don't need to and haven't been playing for a year so we'll see how grade 6 stuff goes.... online lessons for piano were interesting for sure 😭😭 it was harder to do stuff like ear training and having the teacher not like exactly there with you made it harder to progress... i also forgot abt my piano lesson times a lot and would oversleep 💀 i really lost motivation to practice around the same time i was getting burned out because of school idk... back in 2020 i was so motivated with piano i would practice so much and that's actually why after i finished my grade 5 exam i progressed like 3 levels right after. i remember getting the grade 6-7 books but all the pieces were so easy in them all of sudden just cause of how much i practiced lol. but now i think i'm gonna struggle a bit to pick things back up before it gets easy again. damn having your mom as your teacher must've been hard but also nice in a way i assume?? i remember my mom used to bribe me with stuff to get me to practice, and one time i wanted to quit and she would not let me which was good cause i would've regretted it so hard but at the time i was not happy that i couldn't quit 😭😭

i remembered a pose for the second pic we took but for the first one my mind was just so blank, party cause i didn't know we were gonna do group photo immediately and also cause sangyeop was RIGHT there talking to ME. like he literally told me to sit i prob would've been fine if he hadn't spoken but like he did so ITS HIS FAULT FR 😭 i wanted to follow the pose he said he was gonna do and i did for the second pic since he said a heart pose but like damn my brain didn't want to understand what a flower pose was....

[livvyofthelake]

speak now taylor’s version as a grishaverse concept album: a post.

mine. at first i was like. this is a kanej song… and then i was like no it’s too sweet for kanej this is a wesper song. and i stand by that. you made a rebel if a careless man’s careful. son. i guess. whatever

sparks fly. now THIS is kanej!! and you stood there in front of me just close enough to touch!! close enough to hope you couldn’t see what i was thinking of!!!

back to december. genya about alina for real…. genya goes back to december all the time…. wishing she realized what she had when alina was hers….. whatEVER though.

speak now. mal!!!!! can be him about alina marrying blondie for political reasons or about alina being close to the darkling that time he came to the little palace to report on the stag. he is a jealous bitch!! we love it

dear john. do i even need to say it. literally alina about the darkling. he’s an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry never impressed by her aceing his tests. he’ll add her name to a long list of traitors who don’t understand and she’ll look back and regret she ignored when they said run as fast as you can. don’t you think she was too young to be messed with. she stole his matches before fire could catch her so don’t look now she’s shining like fireworks over his sad empty town!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he needs to kill himself

mean. he would hate me saying this but. kaz about pekka rollins…. someday i’ll be living in a big old city and all you’re ever gonna be is mean!!!

the story of us. veryyyy kanej. tbh. um you held your pride like you should have held me. why are we pretending this is nothing. she’s standing alone in a crowded room and they’re not speaking. the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now….. I WOULD LAT MY ARMOR DOWN IF YOU SAY YOU’D RATHER LOVE THAN FIGHT. so many things that you wish i knew but the story of us might be ending soon!!!!!! i don’t even care that much whatever.

never grow up. ok well like fuck this song first of all. cried. idk why i thought i wouldn’t like girl you KNOW you’re in an emotionally vulnerable place rn jesus. this one defies blorboification because it’s so crazy but also it’s about alina in the sense that alina is also about me. ok sorry that when i saw alina finally get to the little palace and her new room completely alien to her with nothing familiar but the scars on her body and she’s finally alone for the first time since everything changed overnight and she just immediately breaks down sobbing crying keeling over i immediately was like ummmm she’s gonna be huge for me rn and then i cried so hard i almost threw up and now i’m here. ok. well whatever. you know how sometimes you go to a family reunion and you see your cousin who got married when you were in third grade and you wore a pink tie die sundress and matching pink flip flops and the reception was in a cool barn with little lights all around and there was a weird decorative edible flower on your plate at dinner that you didn’t eat because you were 8 and you thought that was weird and your cousin (the one who just got married) wanted to dance with you and you were 8 so you didn’t want to and you still kinda feel bad about the fact that you were in a bad mood at a wedding when you were 8 but you can’t really do anything about it now and anyway that’s hardly the point if anything because he’s got two daughters now and the youngest is only 5 and she has the same little haircut you had when you were a kid and the same blue eyes and the same shy demeanor and she’s wearing the cutest pink outfit and you just want to cry when you look at her and then your cousin asks you if you would paint her nails because she hasn’t been playing with the other kids there that much and she feels left out and she liked your nails and so you do it and her hands are so little because she’s only five and she’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your life and she reminds you of yourself way too much and you just want to cry because you were also the kid at the family reunion that didn’t really get included in playing with the other kids but now you can look at her and do something nice for her and smile at her and be someone for her that no one was for you and like i’m so fucking normal guys i’m not even crying at all lol. lmao even. fuck you taylor

enchanted. ok well. genyalina. what if i said i thought genya helped stop alina from communicating with mal in part because she was jealous that alina loved him.

better than revenge. alina core. she hates women sometimes but don’t worry it’s just because she’s gay and doesn’t know. anyway her about zoya but like literally nothing happened she’s just insane <3

innocent. i’m going to be honest i have never heard this song in full and i’m not about to start now. who cares

haunted. kanej!!!! they walk a fragile line….

last kiss. well i’m not qualified to speak on this but i imagine when mal and alina had to separate in the show this is them. again. i don’t know what i’m saying. anyway it’s also nina and matthias i guess but who cares about them

long live. it was not within me to listen to this tonight but like i know the song and it’s about alina……….. also the crows….. (actually this song has always been about my friends the pevensies but we are making this a grishaverse concept album tonight and we aren’t talking about them rn. but just letting you know there is a deeper priority here. peace and love)

ours. malina!!!!!! don’t you worry your pretty little mind people throw rocks at things that shine and life makes love look hard the stakes are high the waters rough but this love is ours!!!! 🫶🫶🫶🫶

superman. mal…. go save the world i’ll be around…. etc.

electric touch. MAL AND ALINA. HER ELECTRIC TOUCH COULD FILL THIS GHOST TOWN UP WITH LIFE. also it’s kinda lucie and jesse core but we’re not talking about that rn. also i guess it could be a jesper and wylan song but like. alina literally has an electric touch. in a way.

when emma falls in love. nina is soooo emma…. inej is the narrator also

i can see you. this is so kanej i could throw up. i didn’t even finish the song it was too much but just trust me it’s kanej

castles crumbling. ALINAAAAAAAAA

foolish one. oh this one’s EASY. book wylan about jesper and also show inej about kaz. duh. except the bridge which is about blondie wanting to fuck mal so bad it makes him look stupid.

timeless. first of all this is so loved you before by peach prc core. secondly malina core. thirdly beronica core frankly. whatever.

also if if this was a movie was on the correct album i would be saying it was about malina i guess but taylor decided to be ultra lame.

[taegularities]

Rid you're crazyyyyyyyyyyy

just finished cmi11 IM FUCKING CRYING holy shit that was so good oh god

first of all the conversation between oc and her mom made me cry so hard- it hit home for me, as a girlie with mommy issues, that part felt so real to me. Oc's courage to stand up for herself like that and tell her how much she hurt her own daughter is something i dont have in me. It broke my fucking heart, that yearning feeling, i cant believe you put that specific feeling into words rid [are u part of the mommy issues community as well🧐 or are u just that amazing, a true fucking artist (i saw that anon calling you the beyonce of ff and i agree 100%)] idk how to describe my feelings rn, that part definitely left a mark in my heart, ill never forget it

second the domesticity in these two dorks oh my goddddd they're driving me crazy, theyre so cute and in love and im in love with them and i want to cry bc i want what they have but bc irl men suck the hopeless romantic in me is gonna have to live through fanfics for the rest of my life and that makes me fucking miserable but bless the fanfic gods like you that keep my soul alive, idk what id do without you

lastly that scareeeeee oh god like i knew itd be a negative but it had my heart beating out of my ass (idk if thats a phrase) but the way they handled it oh god, the emotionsssssss the fears and insecurities, just reminded me that theyre human, even if theyre the most fucking adorable characters ever, theyre still human and i loved seeing such nuance. You really are doing an amazing job rid, not only writing the story, scenes and dialogue, but also the way you write these characters in such depth, its so fucking refreshing to see.

i want to kiss your beatiful head that holds your beautiful brain, seriously ive never ever been so enchanted by a piece of writing before (and i read so much fanfiction its like an addiction) you are by far my strongest fix. For real tho, your writing, and particularly cmi has touched me deeply and I'll never ever forget it. So thank you

Rest assured and stop doubting yourself bc youre seriously incredible and so fucking talented. Now rest up and take care of yourself, i imagine its not easy to birth such work (i mean 36k you monster, i loved every second of it but damn girl take a break before you burn your brain out) but no srsly i hope youre eating well, sleeping well and doing things that make you happy and relaxed. You deserve all the best of this world rid🫂🩷

sincerely ~ 🐼✒️anon

panda hi hello oh my gosh, sorry for being late, but you mentioned so many important things, so i wanted to take my time HELLO!! never stop sending these lovely af reviews 🥺

i know... she really is inspiring bc the courage to stand up against someone you feared for so long is admirable. i'm part of both the mommy and daddy issues community even though it's gotten a lot better lol like i wonder why it's such a recurring theme in my fics 🤣 i'm so sorry you could relate to oc :( but i'm glad you liked the scene so much.

and ahhh the domesticity 🤧 it's been so so fun and relaxing to write!! real life romance can be hard to find, yeah :') so i guess writing these scenes and chapters has been extra cathartic (although it drives me crazy, too — the next chapter has been making me so jejfhdjjsgd), but here's to finding a cmi jk irl soon :') much more to come!!!🕯️

the scare was one hell of a ride 🥺 i cried a lot!! and even i have been realising lately that i sometimes try to make my characters flawless, but that's actually not what i wanna go for. i always snap out of it and then try to make them flawed bc they're human, and i think the cmi couple, despite how endearing they are, is definitely vv flawed :') thank you for pointing that out 🥺

your strongest fix?? girl PLEASE ILL CRY 😭💔 i love you so much, you're so sweet for saying that and seeing me in such a way, pls i want you here forever <3 i rested a lot after cmi11! but ngl, cmi11.5 almost burned me out ksjdhehd gonna rest even more after that hehe. tyssssm, i hope you're well and healthy and i appreciate you so much for your kindness, reassurances and love for this series/me. love you so much 🤍

[crayonverse]

Alright nobody asked or actually cares but here’s a bunch of my physical video games that I love

(long post)

Starting off weak: a bunch of my normal sims stuff. I have a lot of the sims 3 packs but they’re at my dads house (Along my with supernatural s1-15). i also have more sims 4 because i, stupidly, paid money for them (and i also dont understand how to pirate the rest)

Fantasy Life (best toh game ever I love it so much also one of the characters was accidentally trans coded please play this game🙏🙏h). also i could never complete the Bratz ponyz. i just kept cleaning the horses and then gave up lmao

Xbox games I can’t play because I don’t have an Xbox at my Mums and the one at my dads broke. I hope to find a new one sometime🫶. but also Viva Pinata is a brilliant game and is the best ever actually. everyone needs to a look a whirlim forever

Most goated Pokémon game ever. Real. God it’s so much fun I love this game sm. It was one of my first ever Pokémon games and I loved just running around and making friends. Truly amazing

Not games but movies I have. That arceus + the Lucario and mew movie were my only Pokémon media n shit. I rewatched them sm

When wii party and worms battle came out you know the sleepover got so good. the diseny enchatned princess was my childhood i just kept making a new princess and running around doing nothing

Switch games!!!!!!! I really like Pokémon games and eevee is my favourite little guy ever. i can never get far in ary bc my switch doesnt have enough space to keep playing :( it does seem cute with the small time i can play through

Scribblenauts has been like. One of my fav game series. Maxwell ur a sweet little man and I love him. also nintendogs those games have been so cute throughout my life. i love animals

i also consisently buy every single one of each of these games in their series bc they always slap so hard

The imagine series is also a staple those fucking things r COOL. ive just recently restarted my tomodachi island <3

PS3 stuff. Me and my dad used to play Rayman together

imagine teacher was my fav out of the imagine games i have. i got so invested in those fake preschoolers (the pottery level is the suckiest tho i hate it). moshi monsters cool tho i like it

Mod Nation was my mysims racing since i didnt have it and its. actually kinda fun. i think it also had an online element but idk if the servers are still active at this point. bugsnax is also revoulutionary play it play it play it play it

diseny universe was like a big game i kept trying to play with my friends but i think they fucking hated it LOL

my time at portia goated (saving up for the sequel rn)

outer worlds was also one of the only games i full on cried at the end. also at the time i ID'd as a asexual lesbian and Parvati, who was an asexual lesbian, made me feel very seen at the time. shes still my fav companion from that game.

lego dc supervillains has been my fav lego game so far and i hope more lego games are like it in the future because it was great

my lbp stack💪💪💪 i havent done much of A Big Adventure yet bc its more of an adventure game than the others and also you cant save normally in the game For Some Reason. like you cant just. save and quit. idk why that isnt in the game.

sorry for showing you all danganronpa

this has been my most recent video game. my dad went garage sale hunting and came back with two of these so i just stole one out of his boxes and took it home. havent played it yet but it looks cool

my sims games 💪💪💪💪💪💪 yes the fact that skyheroes is on the ps3 does in fact annoy me greatly no i will not tell my lovely mother that at all

ok yeah thats all the ones i want to show. i do have a bunch of other stuff but theyre not that cool

[1d1195]

First of all bestie you could NEVER make me hate you especially over a silly hairstyle! And if people end be up hating on you for that… that’s not it lol also this is gonna part 1 of my ramble 😭

ANWAYS I’m in constant conflict with how I feel about that mullet HAHA at first I was like “a mullet?! WHY?” But then I saw the vision and kinda liked it😔 and rn I’m not sure tbh! BUT I’m not sure if it’s bc he’s HARRY and I’m just kind “blinded” by finding him attractive in general lol bc he’s definitely hot no matter what in my eyes so idk lol plus I fear I’m so use to seeing so many people have mullets (I guess it’s trendy now?!) that maybe I’m just not as big of a hater as I use to be lol btw I LOVED the visuals you gave! That tattoo roulette pic has me STUNNED the first time I saw it! And I kinda love you’re not an automatic lhh lover🤭 though I am a fan of when he had a middle part, like for when he did SNL so idk about my opinion lol

I simply am lowkey sick of my phone lately so idk wtf is going on lol though I love polls! It’s interesting what people are thinking! I genuinely don’t remember exactly what was the last poll I got to vote on but I remember clicking on a Sun kissed option and I was in the minority of votes 😭

SAM YOURE GONNA KILL ME WITH THAT BREEDING KINK!!! I will simply cease to exist whenever we get to meet that Harry😵‍💫 I truly love how you write your Harry’s like i simply can’t!!! And bestie I love when a man is begging and just groveling on the FLOOR for forgiveness!! Very excited 😌

Omg you’re of course one of those people!! Honestly I would have been more surprised if babies WEREN’T drawn to you lol I’m sure it’s just a vibe you give off like babies can see your pure and sweet heart! In another universe you most likely would have had your Honey moment or like a daycare moment! And omg that’s absolutely such an adorable moment and such a good concept 😭

Financial anxiety is so REAL! Especially since you mentioned how growing up it impacted you a lot! And growing up poor too, i totally get it!! It’s a very conflicting feeling lol

Omg bestie you don’t even KNOW how obsessed I was with fucking true crime and like paranormal stuff growing HAHAHA the true crime stuff now terrifies me now bc HELLO?!? But honestly some of these murder mystery books I got to reread again are kinda still a slay lol but the pottery stuff I got really into it in middle school and lowkey stopped reading it when the pandemic hit lol anyways finished sorting out some books so I will be donating them later this week!

Agree about the AC!! Growing up in school there was NO AC and we had to constantly suffer with the heat waves! Girl you’re like a young millennial which makes sense you would be drawn to that aesthetic and there’s nothing wrong with it! If it makes you happy then there’s no harm!

I always get so sad/worried when my dogs are slightly off bc I love them 😭 When I tell you the first thing encounter I had with my finaid office I fucking CRIED! Had to wait on a fuck ass zoom for almost two hours only for a MAN to tell me it was my fault(it fucking was a mistake on their end) and to just get loans and a payment plan was my HELL!!! My mom had to calm me down it was so embarrassing lol Anyways I loved that you gave that feedback and honestly very you and I love that!

I actually decided to shorten the black dress to like my mid thigh!! Sounds short but I’m not tall so it will look somewhat okay lol and the second one is actually a dark blue dress that shimmers when it hits a certain light! It looks black but it’s actually blue and I’m excited to wear it! That one will be slightly above the knee! And maxi dresses are cute! And I bet they look cute on you!!

Hope you had a lovely weekend! Hope it was restful and fun! ALSO I hope your week is starting well!! LOVE YOU!!!-💜

I'm putting a cut here because I wanted to warn anyone else that reads our pen pal letters that I'm going to talk about audio porn a little lol what an ENTRANCE to this message idk if you'll even be able to tell where my train of thought came from to introduce it like this 😂

Number one--obsessed with two part asks hehehe I love this for us. SAW THE VISION. I'm glad you saw it I haven't 💀 I think I def have this blindness as well but it's so trendy rn and I'm just NOT hear for it. If my bf got a mullet I would shave his head tbh. I just think his hair looked stringy and needed a wash and I haven't forgiven him for that 😭 I wash my hair every day because Harry and I actually have very similar hair and if I don't wash it every day it gets so greasy and gross (and before anyone comes for me I KNOW it's because I wash it every day 🙃 but I can't do it. I just feel better when I shower so what am I going to do? I do so little for my own self care ANYWAY)

I LOVE polling everyone. I think it's so helpful 😭 and I agree, knowing what everyone thinks really helps inform my decision and focus to write.

HEHEHEHE you may have already met that Harry Not to out myself here but I recently downloaded Quinn which is audio porn and it's *mwah* chef's kiss. It's giving me all kinds of ideas for Harry and I like to find the audios where the guy is all worshippy of the girl. Honestly, I don't even listen to it for the porn part I'm just here for the plot 😂 there's a couple brother's best friend's ones that have me salivating to write something. I'm AMPED.

I think in another life I probably will open a day care. I should have just taught elementary school the way the gods probably intended me to but alas. Knock on wood my group is... don't want to jinx it but I will say I'm not exhausted right now (at least not from teaching).

I'm not tall either so I get it. I love a shimmery dress! That sounds so nice! I've been getting tons of compliments on all my clothes recently so I like to believe I might be figuring out my own sense of style. Even the kids notice and think I look cute which is not the point but I think it's nice they notice because a lot of these kids are so trendy and adorable. One of my students from a couple years ago should have won best dressed. She could have worn a trash bag to soo. She was so adorable and I would ask for her opinion about what I should wear to chaperone prom/homecoming 😂

I hope you NEVER have to talk to financial aid ever again 💕

I had a slightly busy but good weekend. I was very productive and I'm trying to keep pace because I fear October is going to be busy as hell 🙃

I hope your week is going well too 💕 LOVE YOU!

[secretadmirations06]

This short story/poem (idk what to classify it as) is based on having a first love. It also doesn’t have a title rn because I have no clue what to call it :)

Also felt this song might go with it at least a little bit (even just some lyrics), maybe just in my head but I hope you can kinda get the vision with this song!

I can see the way they've peered at each other, those long glances that she insist mean nothing but so obviously mean everything

The soft, swift touches between the two that you'd miss if you weren't following along closely. I always caught them

I keep telling myself that I don't care anyways, why should I care if they became something more?

Maybe because that something more is what I longed for with him for two years, she was there helping me pick up the pieces of rejection. He never felt the same way

I totally moved on though, got over the heartbreak. I mean we were never even a real thing anyways

I'll never forget the day she asked me how I would feel if they went out, she's my best friend and all I ever wanted was to see her happy. Of course they were tears of joy

I helped him plan his proposal to her. It was real beautiful, a field full of freshly bloomed sunflowers during sunset. I loved sunflowers

Their wedding was absolutely gorgeous, she even had me as her maid of honour. I cried more tears of joy, I guess I'm just so ecstatic for her new chapter with him

I watched their 1 year old daughter tonight, she looks just like her mama now. For some reason I couldn't stop wondering what she'd look like with my eyes, my eyes that have cried so many tears... tears of joy of course!

[your-friendly-neighbourh00d-fag]

3, 20, and 25 for the MCR ask game :)

helloooo anon

3. ten songs, two encores, dream mcr setlist.

Planetary (GO!). ok just imagine it. its quiet(ish) and everyone's jittery waiting for the concert to start and suddenly THE SIRENS THE SIRENS ARE GOING WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE DRUMS KICK IN WHOOOOOOOOOOOO DRUMS DRUMS DRUMS WHOOOOOOOO it would be such a fantastic opener also it's a song i absolutely HAD to see live or i would D I E

Famous Last Words. jesus christ. this one is just. shssjuhiijhijdbeoijs gives me chills ALWAYS.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise) RAHHHHHH THE GUITARSSSSS CRIES

The Only Hope For Me Is You. TOO MANY PEOPLE DON'T APPRECIATE THIS SONG SHE DESERVES THE WORLD ITS EASILY A TOP THREE FROM DD.

DESTROYA. duh.

It's Not a Fashion Statement It's a Fucking Deathwish

Cemetery Drive

I Never Told You What I Do For A Living (^^ these three songs are inseparable to me, must be played together in order always)

Vampire Money. Of. Fucking. Course. inject that intro into my veins rn bro. i need to see frank going oWOOoOAoOoeuoWIooOO in real time please and thank you.

The Kids From Yesterday. Such a good 'closer.' to me, the kids, helena, and wttbp go hand in freaking hand.

Encore 1: Helena. again. everyone's quiet. the show is over. and then, looooong agooooooooo. jumpscare. helena. HELENA!!!!!

Encore 2: Welcome To The Black Parade. of COURSE. SIKE YOU THOUGHT THEY WOULDN'T PLAY THIS ONE? OF COURSE THEY WILL!!!!! ITS THE BLACK PARADE MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!

20. thoughts on the guys's solo work.

ok im actually listening to all of franks solo work right now and OH M Y G OD HW AY WHY DOES HE SING LIKE THAT HIS!!! VOICE!!!! I LOVE ALL OF PARACHUTES HE IS AMAZING!!!!!

oceans is probably my favourite right now :))

25. songs out of each album that you feel represents them best.

hmmmrmm ok i've thought about this a lot. so i think that each album has a 'main song' like an anthem or whatever, and a song that encapsulates the album's vibe or feel.

so three cheers- im not okay is the tone setter song, and helena is the main song

black parade- famous last words is the tone setter song, and welcome to the black parade is the main song

danger days- na na na (na na na na na na na na na) is the tone setter, and the kids from yesterday is the main song

^ idk why my brain works like this lmao

[aolechan]

tbh i lost count at how many times i cried today. i cried when i read some comments, i cried when i saw people started leaving him, i cried when i lost some moots in twitter coz there’s a lot of them decided to deactivated their account or to delete their creations, i even cried when i looked at my phone coz i don’t even have a heart to change the wallpaper, it’s still the pic of him holding sunflower with yellow suit and facing the sun, one of my favorite. coz the status is still accusation rn.

i know i’m way more than devoted and invested about him. hell i’ve never been feel so deeply about celebrity before. that’s why i cherished him, that’s why i was rooting for him, that’s why i got happy everytime i see updates or editing him. coz for me that’s what are fans are for. that is my purpose being one of his fans.

i know my feelings for him are real eventho he doesn’t even know that i’m exist. and maybe it’s too deep. coz idk despite all possibilities that could happen, the truth that he changed me in some way is already seen. i got new friends, i’m starting to know photoshop, i started to learn spanish, and a lot of other good things that happened to me since i knew him. i know he didn’t personally do anything to me, but everything he’s done brought me here. so yeah idk tho.

and in this bad time i really hoping what’s best for all of us. for the victim, for t himself, and for all of us. i’m sure he’s gonna say something about this, let’s wait and see how this situation will prevails. and i’m gonna decided what’s best for me after everything clear.

Regarding the whole situation. Please everyone crying and feeling personally betrayed or overly invested, go to therapy and work on parasocial attachment.

I love the man and I believe in innocent until proven guilty but if it turns out to be true I'm not gonna have a breakdown.

As an SA survivor, he would be just one of many. Sigh and move on. Don't act like he personally did anything to you. You are a voyeur in all this, not an active participant.