#creepy crawlies mention tw

[imheretoreadandpostart]

Whirl, Swerve, x Weirdcore!Reader Romantic HCs

Reader is portrayed as a gender neutral human.

You have a pet hairless cat.

Tw for swearing and mention of organs such as eyes n stuff

Whirl

Very friggin weirded out by you at first.

"The fuck do they look like that???"

He did like the repeating theme of blood and organs though.

In fact, its what made him talk to you in the first place.

You were chillin at Swerve's with Rewind when he came up to you and was like

"So.... are those real? if so, who did ya kill, and how?"

Was very confused at why you were giggling until you said they were fake and you made them yourself.

".....they look so real- Aight thats it, fleshie. You, me, this evening, my place."

"Wait why-"

"DON'T QUESTION IT!"

Not knowing what else to do, you ask Rung for directions to Whirl's room. You don't know what you were expecting, but you weren't exactly expecting to be snatched up by his giant claw by the back of your shirt and interrogated about your appearance and mannerisms as if you tried to bring a knife on a plane.

You somehow managed to keep calm though.

Over time though, Whirl did warm up to you and one day confessed and boom! Yall a thing now.

Anyways uhh. He also likes the overall unsettling/calming vibes it can give off.

The liminal spaces kinda work on him? Like yes the place does seem a bit familiar to him, but he doesn't feel the strong sense of deja vu like he's been there before.

Likes your hairless cat.... but also doesn't.

"Yeah, its cute and all, very friendly, nice little fleshy.... but why the fuck does it look like that."

Loves any weird accessories you wear, just these teeny random creatures, items, and organs dangling off you.

Stole a necklace of (fake) teeth from you and he has it hanging off his weird antenna thing on his head unless he's off killing cons or whateva.

Kinda likes the the music you listen to??? Hes weirded out by it definitely, but he does like the melodies.

Not one for physical touch but isn't opposed to it.

He usually pats you on the head with a claw, or has one around your torso (gently).

KISS HIM.

Pet names include: Babe, Squish-ball, Teeny, Creepy Crawly, Critter, Weirdo, Fucker

Will attempt to murder anyone who dares hurt you or the cat, mentally or physically. Unless you stop him of course.

He loves you a lot despite your overall strangeness.

Swerve

He loves your style so much, like i'm not kidding.

I mean how can he not? He's discovering a new human thing, that's right up his alley!

Doesn't like the bugs though. Only mildly unsettled by the organs.

And he loves your cat too, absolutely died of cuteness the first time he met them.

"OH MY GOD ROTISSERIE KITTYYYYY!!!"

They get along p well :)

Big fan of your outfits, they're unique, cute, and fun!

Carries the two of you around almost anywhere he goes.

Yall met when you were wandering the ship with your backpack of art stuff and listening to your tunes. You went down a hall you haven't been to yet and stumbled across his bar.

You walk in, staying close to the wall so you don't get stepped on or something. you make it near the main bar when he spotted you.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod they're real-"

He excitedly ran out from behind the bar toward you. He did that thing where you jump, land, and slide on your knees in a sitting position. What a dork XD

He landed next to you and started rambling, You couldn't help but let out a small laugh and smile as he went on.

"Oh wait sorry i forgot to say- My name is Swerve, its so nice to finally meet you!! You look so cool, like weird but very cool. It reminds me of something but i can't remember what- oh wait whats your name?"

He put you on the bar counter as he continued his work all the while continuously chatting with you.

Months later yall got together.

Very affectionate. Like i'm not kidding. Prepare to be held gently.

Liminal spaces work on him. Experiencing the Deja Vu and feelings of unsettlement fr.

Pet names are: Sweet-spark, Sugar, Kiwi, Love-bug

Loves weirdcore music. Specifically songs by Jack Stauber.

Swerve set up a lil place for you on the bar, mostly blankets and pillows with weird patterns, along with some plushies. Like a four eyed cow, a two headed dog, and a clay-face plushie of a duck.

Has lots of lil snacks for ya too.

Won't stop rambling about how much he loves you.

[patheticpretending]

adam murray headcanons ! ^_^

★ Basic and some sweet ones !

Major cat fan (very fond of black cats)

he enjoys coffee

used to play the guitar but he quitted for some reason

Enjoys shark documentaries

Used to watch horror movies with Jonah Sarah and Evelin

Likes chocolate cake

Likes creepy crawlies

★------------------------------★

Now going onto some deeper ones

TW: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND SMOKING

After drinking bleach he tried to stab himself in the stomach with scissors

Tried to light himself on fire

After breaking up with Evelin he just took a smoke break

After Presto he started to wear Thatcher's old clothes from when he was a teen

Still cries a lot

Still tries to drink bleach

Afraid of TVs

Cries himself to sleep

★------------------------------★

[medaart]

About My Tav: Bernadine the Half-Elf Druid (Part 1)

Bernadine "Bernie, Bunny" Schwartz

Half Wood Elf

Circle of The Moon Druid

She/Her

Bisexual/Biromantic

Neutral Good-ish?

Romancing Astarion

Original meme by @for-tymora, for the @tav-dex if they're interested!

-----

What’s the significance behind your Tav’s name?

Bernadine is Russian for "bear", and she's a Circle of the Moon Druid! It's actually a happy coincidence. She's an OC I've taken from fandom to fandom and used in other RP's-- first Team Fortress 2 (she was a RED Medic), then Pathfinder (she was an Alchemist/Chiurgeon). I always give her a class with healing capabilities as a nod to where she began, and Alchemist wasn't available in BG3, with Druid having the closest skill set to it.

Does your Tav have a last name? Is there a meaning behind it?

Schwartz, German for "black". She was a mad scientist in her first incarnation, and I've kept some of those aspects in her later incarnations (as a Druid, she has a soft spot for spiders & bats, thinking they're important parts of the ecosystem, & she knows how to craft/recognize various poisons.

What is your Tav’s go-to comfort food?

I don't know if the lore is the same in D&D as it is for Pathfinder, but in Pathfinder, Wood Elves are typically vegetarians. But Bernadine is pragmatic, and I'd imagine (if BG3 would let me) she'd Wild Shape into bear form and catch venison and fish for the team if they were low on camp supplies.

She has a sweet tooth (her eyes light up at the mention of pastries), and likes a good mug of Dwarven mead, too.

Does your Tav have any tattoos or scars? Why?

Her hands are lightly scarred from playing with her dad's chemistry set when she was a kid-- the same accident that bleached a lock of her hair.

What is your Tav’s main color palette? Why do they choose those colors?

Green/Gold/Brown, since she lives in the forest. She's not super religious, but reveres the Oakfather and the idea of all species being integral to the ecosystem (including vampires).

Where are they from? What was home like?

[tw: bullying] She was born in the Evereska/Forgotten Forest area to a Human mother and a Wood Elf father, but moved to Baldur's Gate because of her fathers' alchemical job. She went to school there and lived there her entire life, never really fitting in at school (between being socially awkward and having weird interests, like creepy-crawly animals and gross plants). She had no friends, and was bullied relentlessly by a small group of kids. The other kids were too afraid to stand up for her, and she could never understand why the bullies hated her so much. She tried ignoring them, bargaining with them, offering them home-made potions as a bribe, nothing worked. One day, she snapped. She'd been studying Druidic magic in private, Wild Shaped into a cat, and clawed the ringleader of the bullies in the face. This only made her reputation worse, and her parents (who did love her, and were not bad people) didn't get why she couldn't "just get along" with the other kids. Bernadine wasn't sure how to make other people like her. She wasn't intentionally malicious or anything, but she felt like she had no one to turn to. So she kept Wild Shaping as an excuse to just be by herself, until one day she was grabbed by an errant Mind Flayer. I wanted to write her as a person who wasn't entirely comfortable being the main character, would prefer to be a background NPC who lets someone else take charge, and is struggling with that.

She's still in the part of her trauma where she sees herself as the villain of her own story on a redemption arc to not treat others like she was treated. She's still trying to figure out what she "did wrong" or "did to deserve" being ostracized, while being very aware nobody else in her party deserved their treatment. If she were an NPC, ironically, I'm not sure how her plot line would work in a video game, as her struggle is very internal. She'd get along with Dark Urge in some respects if they were to ever meet, I think.

Is your Tav more likely to fight/flight/freeze/fawn?

She's very much a freeze. Social situations are not her forte, which is why she admires Astarion, and wants to emulate his positive traits, as much as she loves him. Before she really knew him, her idea of him was this very cool, debonair person who was never nervous around people-- which got shattered very quickly. She pursued him thinking he was her opposite, everything she wanted to be, only for them to truly bond because of their similarities, ironically enough.

What do they do for fun, when not adventuring? What are their hobbies?

She wants the kind of house Thom Yorke sings about in "No Surprises"-- a little house with a little garden. Just a place to plant herbs, with a table for her chemistry set. A place to read all the books she's hoarded. In her "main canon", she had a dog and a horse, and I'd imagine she'd be a doting pet mama here too (and/or maybe an actual mom, depending on whether Astarion is willing to adopt).

Do they have any enemies outside of the main plot? Any friends?

I'm not sure if I'd even count her childhood bullies as enemies, per se. They may have even forgotten Bernadine ever existed, and moved onto being shitheads to other people in their lives. The only way Bernadine would take revenge on them is if they became Cazador-level abusive shitheads that had moved beyond just namecalling and punching other kids in the face.

Where/with whom do they feel safest?

Astarion, weirdly enough-- he had all these chances to stab or rob her, and didn't, and that earned her respect in a way. She cares about the whole team, and while Astarion is the only one she has romantic/sexual feelings for, she has strong platonic, protective feelings for everyone else. Maybe Gale and Shadowheart, since Shadowheart/Gale/Astarion (aka the Shadow Wizard Money Gang) are my typical party.

What is their MBTI Type?

She's very much an INFP. Mom friend who bottles up her own worries, trying to fix other peoples' problems and putting her own on the side until they explode.

[codenamehazard]

.:InFAMOUS: No Man's Land Table of Contents:.

Chapter 1: "Breaking the Shackles"

Chapter 2: "Freedom Run"

Chapter 3: "Chasing Echoes"

Chapter 4: "Red Sky"

Chapter 5: "Wild Goose Chase"

Chapter 6: "Of Brick and Bone"

Chapter 7: "Parkour Playground"

Chapter 8: "Rage in a Cage"

Chapter 9: "Piss and Vinegar"

Chapter 10: "(Kill All) Sons of Bitches"

Chapter 11: "Ruffled Feathers"

Chapter 12: "Explanations and Shark Teeth"

Chapter 13: "Blinding Light"

Chapter 14: "The Boogieman Cometh"

Chapter 15: "The Boogieman Cometh (Part 2)"

Chapter 16: "Somber Skyline"

Chapter 17: "Mournful Maelstrom"

Chapter 18: "Port in the Storm"

Chapter 19: "Embers in the Forge"

Chapter 20: "Sparks and Kindling"

Chapter 21: "Prep and Plan"

Chapter 22: "Smack-Talk Smackdown"

Chapter 23: "Feast by the Fire"

Chapter 24: "In The Dark of the Night" [TW: ARACHNOPHOBIA AND CREEPY CRAWLIES]

Chapter 25: "In the Dark of the Night: Part 2" [TRIGGER WARNING FOR ARACHNOPHOBIA, OMMETAPHOBIA, TRYPOPHOBIA AND OTHER CREEPY CRAWLIES!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!]

Chapter 26: "Crash Cart"

Chapter 27: "The Dam Breaks" [TRIGGER WARNING: SEVERE MENTAL BREAKDOWN, SMALL MENTION OF CORPERAL PUNISHMENT, ANXIETY, MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, MENTION OF ABILISM, SHITTY PARENT BEING SHITTY.]

Chapter 28: "New Poison Revealed" [TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF DEATH AND MONSTERS]

Chapter 29: "Bittersweet" [TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF LOSS]

Chapter 30: "Rabbit Hunt"

Chapter 31: "Down the Rabbit Hole"

Chapter 32: "Jabberwocky" [TRIGGER WARNING: PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE, TORTURE AND TRAUMA]

Chapter 33: "The Sisters Three"

Chapter 34: "Walkabout"

Chapter 35: "Waiting Room"

Chapter 36: "Sun Peeks Through"

Chapter 37: "?"

[werewiire]

about me + interests + byf

about me :)

AJ

he/him

trans man

19

australian, living on murri land

on bluesky @ werewiire.bsky.social and cohost @ werewiire

special interests and hyperfixations

(i generally rotate between hyperfixations, so apologies if i spam your dash with posts about it. i tag most interests so feel free to block them if you’re not interested.)

gothic literature and adaptations (jekyll & hyde, dracula, sweeney todd, phantom of the opera, etc.) — especially the characters R.M. Renfield, Johanna Barker, and Christine Daaé.

the raffles series by e.w. hornung

undertale and deltarune

forgotten realms

the drizzt series by r.a. salvatore

hornblower

sharpe

master & commander

insects and other creepy crawlies

history, especially the 19th century, regency era, maritime history, medical history, and queer history

hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

my OCs (please ask me about them)

alice in wonderland and its adaptations

internet phenomena, mysteries, and ARGs

austen

bridgerton

good omens

horror media

musical theatre

tabletop roleplaying games (d&d, vtm)

my other blogs

DM for my NSFW blog <3

@ofsilentseas : art & poetry appreciation blog

@fcrrars : history blog

byf

under 16 pls don’t follow.

triggers are tagged as “tw ____.” for example, “tw blood”. insects & other creepy crawlies are tagged with “inverts”. politics and potentially stressful current events are tagged under “current events”.

i reclaim the words queer & fag, and use them to describe myself. if you’re uncomfortable with that, either blacklist the word in your settings or don’t follow me — i won’t be tagging it.

mutuals, please tag content/mentions of reblog bait (i.e. “if you don’t reblog this you’re a bad person”), grooming, transphobia, and death.

not really a dni because i can't stop people from interacting, but the following people will be blocked on sight: terfs & other transphobes, zionists/pro-israel, maps (and associated scum), sh/proana/thinspo blogs, transmedicalists, anti mspec lesbians/gays, biphobes/panphobes/anti-mspecs, discourse blogs.

[tewwor-moving]

testing my luck again 2 see who'd like to interaction with arlo :o) ( tho tw — terminal illness is mentioned in his backstory! ). like a third of my roster, he's a bit sour, a bit surly. definite afternoon raptor where he's peak awake and useful from, like, 12-5. has a nifty ability! can literally reconstruct anything inorganic to perfection. but watch out! he's recently learned how to do the opposite and deteriorate anything inorganic as well!

does have a hunter verse too. more true grit than the slice of life as he deals with infestations of all kind. weird anomalies, creepy crawlies, seriously haunted house stuffed with spirits, one too many vampire raves at a night club.. all's fair game so long as you have his number. he does brandish a sawed off shotgun with the words 'JESUS SENDS' engraved and has salt packed bullets as a stupid punch.

is also old friends with oryn out of all people, and has his outrageous theories about the paranormal continuously debunked :(

[sigilsmut]

have the twins as ponies

i loved @regularcitrus​ ‘s crusaders mlp au so much i decided to ponify the twins too. i also realized that this is prolly the first post i’ve ever mentioned these two so i’ll drop a bit of their backstory 💀 (please cut me some slack on their pony names im kinda bad with names, man) tw brief mention of a blood ritual, death, and a shit ton of lore

Basically the twins accidentally became my JoJo ocs and i stuck with it, putting them in the JoJoverse and dubbing it “Hellbent Crusaders”. “Ruby Mane” is Bella Moon, the older fraternal twin sister of Billie Moon, who’s “Onyx Webbs”. These two are mixed Black / Korean on their mother’s side and Italian on their father’s side. Yes, they are from the Zeppeli family; born in Venice and raised in Napoli the twins had a rough time altogether. Their home life wasn’t all that great (abuse and neglect from their father) and kids at school thought they were very awkward or straight up bizarre children and didn’t talk to them. 

After their mother was hospitalized from her husband almost killing her, the twins stayed with their Nana who took care of them and tried teaching them Hamon. Meanwhile, DIO was so hellbent on killing off the Joestars and all ties with them that he sent two of his minions (who are brothers) to kill off the newest Zeppeli generation first. They broke into the house and the younger brother, Abel Romero, grabs Billie in a chokehold and decapitates him, and his brother Cain pushes a tv into the bath and electrocutes Bella. The two were then revived and turned into vampires via blood ritual using two vials of DIO’s blood. It’s safe to say the two weren’t happy about this at all, especially when their Nana was also caught in the crosshairs and was attacked. Thankfully she survived and was rushed to the hospital, but immediately after the twins killed the brothers in rage. They find out who DIO is and why they were targeted specifically, and after getting in contact with Joseph, Billie volunteers to aid him on the quest to killing DIO since he’s earned himself 1st place on their shit list. Bella decided to stay behind and watch over their Nana and Holy in case anything else happened. I’m gonna get into Billie’s place in the team later but with all the basic lore out the way, I thought of a few headcanons while making this (i hope this is alright maya!): - In the MLP universe, their lore remains the same. Since all Zeppelis are unicorns, that’s what the twins were before they were turned. They’re way more unhinged now

- I saw the hc that skilled Hamon Users know to use silver horseshoes because they’re the best conductors. The twins used to be able to wear them but ever since their deaths they switched to gold.

- Ruby and Onyx are a more calmer version of Suds (sans Onyx). They’re flirty, a bit hard-headed, and just as if not more violent than their granduncle. Because of the familiar bond that Lucky had with Suds, and Starry with Ichor, Onyx and Stardust are like a formidable power duo. 

- In canon, Billie usually calls Joseph “Mr. J”, but at times it’s sounds like he’s saying “Mista J”. Occasionally he would call him Mr. Joestar like everyone else or straight up Joseph. In the pony au, Onyx calls him “Mr. L”. He sees him as the father figure he never really had growing up.

- Billie participated in ballet while his sister focused on figure skating. Billie would’ve been a ballet dancer just like his mother, however, all it took was one sprained ankle for the dream to die faster than his passion in the sport. Idk if dressage was a thing in MLP but I’ll just say that Onyx did dressage before sustaining an injury and quitting. 

- Billie is a rising star in Italy and is publicly known as “Black Bunn-i”, taken from (one of) his favorite colors and his favorite animal apart from spiders and creepy crawlies. Here I didn’t know what else to name him so i just took the “-i” off the end. Onyx’s cutie mark is his own brand logo with a little cobweb on the ears.

- Speaking of spiders, his ability is using unicorn magic to create large webs and strings from the shadows, and using this same dark magic to make him invisible. For his sister on the other hand, she can summon blood-filled glass snakes from the ends of her hair and paralyze your body if you look into her eyes. Medusa headass.

- Billie and his pony counterpart are fucking menaces as vampires. They scare the living shit out of Polnareff / Chariot and love to bully him because “he’s easy to scare, and the way he looks like his heart stopped is so fucking funny.”

edit: hi i forgor to mention that Billie is canonically a transman ✨

[bartokthealbinobat]

Are We About to Kiss Right Now? (God No)

Ch. 7 of Brandy and the End of the World

word count: 1,844

tw:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Still a little shaken from our run-in with the crazy lady, Justin starts to chatter again, talking at me constantly without leaving any openings for me to respond. I glower at him, staring daggers into the back of his head as though that will do anything to shut him up. Of course, he doesn’t even notice, and I wonder what he would do if I just turned around and went the other way, how long it would take him to notice that I was no longer there. He most likely would just keep going, talking to the air as though it was me and paying no mind to the emptiness behind him. I don’t think it would slow his roll for a few hours at least, and I toy with the idea of just stopping right then and seeing how long it would take before he would turn around. Of course, that would be a waste of time so I can’t, but it’s fun to think about. 

“Brandy, have you ever thought about going into poker? You’ve got the face for it, and I’d love to see anyone try and focus on playing cards with you looking at them like that. I mean, you are just absolutely stone-faced, expression carved in marble if I’ve ever seen it. In fact, stony is a perfect way to describe you in general. Expression set in marble, eyes of obsidian, personality jagged like pumice.” Justin says when he finally does glance back at me. I scowl harder, sharing a meaningful look with the dog. We should be focusing on the road ahead, or making a plan about how we’re going to survive getting to milwaukee, but instead I’m listening to the biggest idiot I’ve ever met wax poetic about my face. 

While singing a made-up ditty about me being like stone, Justin suddenly lets out a squeak, stopping so abruptly that I almost run into him, and I have to fight the urge to smack the back of his head.

“What?” It comes out sharper than I intend, and if I’m not mistaken a moment of hurt flashes across Justin’s face as he turns to look at me.

“It’s nothing,” His voice is oddly high-pitched, as if someone has just fed him helium, “just a-just a bug.” He gulps,glancing down at his feet briefly and then back at me. 

I can feel my jaw slackening as I stare at him, and I no longer feel guilty about snapping at him. He can’t be serious, can he?

“Are you shitting me?” It’s the fucking apocalypse my man, bugs are the least of our worries right now. Also, earlier you tried to help a woman who was clearly out of her mind, so there should be no reason a creepy-crawly is more scary than that to you. 

Justin just shakes his head, eyes bugging out like a fish as he refuses to blink. Sighing, I push past him just to see the biggest spider I’ve ever seen in my life, sitting atop a massive, glistening web that stretches all the way across the alley. Well, he forgot to mention the size of the bug, and the number of legs it has. I shudder a little upon noticing the multiple sets of eyes spread across the beast’s face. It wiggles its hairy little fangs and I take a step back, suddenly less willing to take care of the bug for Justin. 

“W-well, you’re the guy so you should deal with it. Plus, it’s good for you, y’know? Exposure therapy, or something.” I stumble a bit over my words, gesturing emphatically as I speak. He remains unconvinced.

“Absolutely not. You deal with it, you're not the one that’s afraid of bugs.” Justin crosses his arms, the gesture feeling very final.

“Wimp.” 

We look towards the spider again, and I will it to crawl away so we can sidle past, but it continues to stare at us, still in the middle of its web except for the occasional wiggle of its fangs, just to remind us that they’re still there. I sigh, shoving down a shudder as I step forward a bit. A glance back at Justin shows that he’s all but hyperventilating in a corner, and I wish I could do the same. I bite down on the inside of my cheek as I creep off to the side, staying as far away from the spider as possible. I reach one arm up and swipe away a bit of the web, holding my breath as I wait for a reaction. When nothing happens I pull away a little bit more, pausing again afterwords to watch for any sign of movement. Finally, feeling brave, I raise my arm up to slash through the rest of the web, but it is at that moment that the spider decides to scuttle towards me at lightning speed and I leap back with a yelp.

“Nope, no, absolutely not.” I shake my head as the spider turns back towards the middle of the web and settles back into position. It was too fast for my liking.

“Is there a way around?” I ask Justin.

“Yeah but it would add like a half an hour to go around this alley. A bunch of the streets around here are covered in rubble or impassable last time I checked.”

We stand there for a minute, at an impasse, and I try to figure out something else we could do. I start to look around for a stick, thinking maybe if I was a little further away I could do it, and at the same time the dog streaks up behind me, finally back from her exploring. She bounces right up to the web, sniffing around, and I start to reach for her.

“Oh, Pez-” The spider twitches and there is an audible snap as the dog’s jaws close around it. She crunches twice, swallows, and walks through the web as I stare in horror. Justin’s mouth is hanging open wider than his eyes as the dog shakes off the stickiness of the web and trots off. I look over at him, snap my mouth shut, and nod to myself. Pez is right, time to get a move on already. I swing my bag back over my shoulder and follow the dog, sliding past Justin to take the lead. We need to get to Milwaukee sooner rather than later. 

Soon enough I fall behind Justin, letting him take the lead with his long strides as he mumbles to himself about spiders and dogs and venom. Pez trots happily back towards me, and I almost laugh. She just ate a spider, what a psychotic dog. Grinning to myself, I pick up a pebble and chuck it for her to chase after, which she does with glee. The pebble skitters to a stop inches away from a black boot, and Pez slides to a stop with a growl, turning tail as it becomes apparent who the boot is attached to. Or, rather what it is attached to.

 I’m about to grab at Justin again, but luckily he’s aware of his surroundings for once, and he’s stopped as well. The zombie is young, frail, and… crying? She is sitting on a musty old bench, sobbing into her hands, and as the dog growls again, from much farther away now, she looks up at us.

“Help me” She whimpers, bloody bite marks running along her neck and arms. 

“Justin, don't.” I command, stopping him in his tracks. 

“Help,” she repeats with a sniffle, quieter this time. “Help me please.”

She wasn’t gone yet, but we had no idea how long before she turned if she wasn’t turning already. Justin looks at me, almost begging, and starts to try and convince me.

“Absolutely not, look at her.” I soften my voice a bit. “Look at her, Justin, it’s already too late for us to help her.” He starts to mutter again and I shake my head, keeping one eye on the girl as I do so. She’s already contagious, and we had no way of knowing if she was aggressive yet. The girl just collapsed into a sob again, curling her knees up to her chest. From behind her, however, came a grumble and I watch as the dog’s hackles rise next to me and she starts to back away. I know enough by now to trust the dog’s judgment, and I follow her in backing away as more zombies emerge from the shadows. Probably the ones that infected the girl, they are all definitely turned by now, rotting flesh nearly falling off the bone as they stumble towards us. We have unwittingly backed ourselves into a corner as the road behind us is blocked by cars and the crumbled remains of buildings, so I turn towards the zombies and pull out my knife flicking it open in one fluid motion as I prepare to fight my way out.

“Get ready to run.” I bark at Justin, and he just nods, arms hanging useless at his side. The dog is rumbling like an engine next to me, teeth bared and every bit as vicious as the first time I saw her, and even though she didn’t choose it I’m glad she’s there to lend a hand against the undead army in front of us. The thinnest patch of zombies is off to the left, but we need to go right so right it is. I grit my teeth, trying to slow my breathing a bit so I can focus. 3, 2, 1- I lunge forward and the dog follows, Justin close on our heels. I slice, shoving at zombies with my other hand as I sprint, and the dog snaps at every zombie in reach as we surge forward all together. As we fight through the horde, one grabs at my ankle and I fall, pants and knees ripping open against the pavement. Justin grabs under my armpits and, with a strength I didn’t know he possessed, yanks me back to my feet, shoving me back into a run. As we clear the last of them, I sprint ahead, heart pounding in my ears and sweat running down the back of my neck. Spotting an open door I pull Justin inside, shoving Justin into an empty closet and squishing in next to him, pulling the door shut around us as I try to slow my breathing. We are pressed up against each other in the small space and I can feel Justin’s chest expanding against me, his breath hot on my face. A beat, then Justin opens his big mouth once again.

“Are we about to kiss right now?” He slips an arm around my waist, face too close to mine. I almost huff out a laugh, shocked that he’s actually being funny for once, before I realize he wasn’t joking. 

“Oh God no.” I shoulder him, hard, and cross my arms as I turn my face away, trying not to gag at the thought.

Author's Note: Oh Justin, you just can't take a hint can you?

-Bartok

tag list (comment if you want to be added!): @teigo-the-explorer

[tranquilspot]

John: Read Colonel Sassacre's text.

Long post ahead! TW/CW: unabashed sexism, misogyny, racism, call to murder as a 'joke', aged like milk content

Block of text n°2. Get ready to get the old timey dictionary, cause I sure will do a loooot of research.

Before reading the text itself, let's analyze the picture. There's Mark Twain (Colonel Sassacre in this universe) in the middle with a silly magician hat on top and an engraved sun. On his left and right, surprisingly two versions of The Fool arcana.

The Fool represents new beginnings, freedom, innocence, a free spirit. Pretty accurate for John. There's also several clowns: entertainment, playfulness, tricks, but also mockery, illusion, humiliation. I'm saying this because it's relevant. We'll see it much later, during different points in the story. On the bottom, two masks, both smiling. One a demon, perhaps the Devil itself. Which is also a major arcana: obsession, dependency, powerlessness, limitations when it's upright. In reversed it's independence, revelation, reclaiming power, reclaiming control. Very interesting. Let's keep it in mind for later. I have no idea for the other mask, it would be easier if I knew the origin of the 'borrowed' pictures that constitutes this montage. At last, two writing tools that could represent freedom of speech, creation and imagination. The word colonel was added on one of them.

Welp, that's enough dilly dallying on the image, let's dig right into the text now. *grumble mumble I have to manually write it grumble mumble*

Hell's bells, we are having a mighty sporting time of it!

"Hell's bells" is to express anger, surprise or irritation. I'll bet it's surprise here. let's see the rest of the sentence. I haven't find a direct explanation for 'sporting time' but I suppose it means 'dynamic good moment'?

Hold fast, my intrepid fellow pranksmiths! We've merely nicked the mahogany of our japing chests.

Pranksmiths is such a cool term :D So if I understood correctly, this means: "Hold on my fellow pranksters! We've barely scratch the surface."

If I may direct the incisive ogle of your beagle puss to the wriggling regency of rubber bugs […]

Wait wait wait so many new words here!

A sharp eye, okay, of our joke glasses (the one with the funny nose and mustache), and hey! First time seeing 'wriggling', that's mostly used in troll culture. Sassacre was married to the baroness, not sure how much he knew about trolls but I don't think the use of 'wriggling' is a coincidence here. Betty Crocker was already mentioned too. There's miiight be a small chance that this peculiar plot element existed early in the story. 'Regency' is to govern, hmm 'wriggling regency of rubber bugs'. See it's not trivial! Bugs, insects that govern. Sneaky early foreshadowing~

[…] plastic parasite, squirming serpents, pliable pests […]

:0 I know it's common repulsive animals, but look closely. We have bugs, immediately followed by parasite (opinion on his wife perhaps?), followed by a snake (Lord English), and 'pests' are aften rodents. Not sure where does the last one fall in the metaphor. Reading too much into it? Maybe, maybe not.

[…] and every such order and phyla of creepy crawlies!

I'm curious to see what 'order' means in this context. Perhaps 'and such things'? Also phyla! Hello brand new word. Oooh I see, like two branches of the same group of things. Junction! And creepy crawlies! I literally on the picture but i forgor. It's self explanatory, crawling little bugs. This confirm, or at least solidify, my theory on Colonel Sassacre's book to be a parody, autobiographic, but now hinting at what we are to expect from this comic, in terms of plot points and characters (trolls, a tyran parasitic sovereign, snake species..)

Land sakes alive, we are cooking with petrol now!

'Goddamn, now we're talking!' We're half-way through the introduction, of the book I mean! Can't wait to reach the end of Act 1, which is only a part of the 'tutorial'.

In further exhibits we shall dwell on artifice useful to your exploits.

Alright, not very complicated to understand.

Is your pappy's rod and reel handy?

What? *long search* Oooohhh like a fishing rod and thread. I thought that was an innuendo *sweat* I mean it isn't above Hussie to not do it. 'Handy' here means in your hand, or near it.

What about a bit of iron cord; it shouldn't prove elusive.

Are we talking about cord made of iron, or the cord of a iron, the appliance? If it isn't rare to find it I'd say the latter.

Bring those writhing rascals to life, […]

Uuuuuuuhhhhh..

and set the nerves of some old maid to the wreck of Hesperus!

Okay what the fuck old man!! Not only it is misogynist but you take delight in scaring to death a poor woman that didn't ask for it? Bring them to life.. what the heck does that entails? Wait it's rubber bugs and such, so you're not electro-stimuling them, how does cord + rubber work? Whatever, what's more interesting is the mention of another entity, Hesperus. One we never hear about either in the story nor the community itself. It's a titan, embodying the evening. Right between Hemera, the day, and Nyx, the night.

However here it is not about the god itself, but rather a poem, the Wreck of Hesperus. It's the short story of a skipper who board a ship with his daughter and didn't listen the warning about a hurricane. Long story short, the ship crashes and sink, dude dies and the corpse of the girl is found still mangled to the remains of the ship. That's horrifying. What the fuck, it went from 'let's have a jolly time with plastic toys' to 'what if we made scream a maid like a terrified girl on a sinking ship, sounds like fun!'. He really wants to scares a woman to death.

Do you have a bothersome aunt who never seems troubled to find ways with your sunny afternoons? A broad, splintery fence— a bucket of white wash, perhaps?

Sir this is a crime, he's calling for violence and murder. That's a feminicide happening soon! What the fuck, how in HELL is this book not censured, or BANNED?! This is 2009, doesn't someone check books before publishing them?

By gum you'll fix her wagon!

I'll fix your face, time shenanigans be damned! What is it with dudes fixating on other people's ass?!

Also, whitewash is a mixture, and "covering up a scandal" too. Smells like subconscious slip of his wrongdoings~

God this is tedious and awful to read. Almost there!

And what of that tawny gent who puts his lackadaisical lean near the sarsaparilla font?

It feels like a lot of made up words. I mean yeah words don't come from trees or the 'Great Book of All Words and Those Yet to Come', but I can't imagine people using them on a daily basis.

Ok, 'lackadaisical' is showing little effort or enthusiasm, 'sarsaparilla' is either a climbing plant (east asia) or a drink based of said plant. Between the sarsaparilla and the mahogany, him knowing such foreign flora gives me rich traveling dude and colonialism vibes.

You'll have that listless octoroon find the spring in his step just yet!

That's a lot of stuff that I don't understand, but I do know that an octoroon is mixed (ethnicities). "The word octoroon signifies a person of one-eighth African ancestry." according to Wikipedia. Gonna add racism to the old man bingo. Listless means lethargic. As in 'lazy african pests'. Yep it's racist alright. When does it takes place anyway? 1910/20-ish?

Alright lemme think and recontextualize all of it, I suck remembering events and dates so I need time. My grand-grandmother was born in 1912, year and day of the Titanic sinking I think.

The expression "sakes alive" was popular in 1930~1950, and its earliest use was 1860. So I kinda narrow it down.

After a good while I found this screenshot I took in 2019, couldn't find user pepple :/and princeofhope haven't posted anything since 2014. I couldn't even find the original post. But yeah, by relying on this graph it does make sense. [I wish I could properly credit pepple, if they're still there] —>

[professorwaid420]

A Harpened Tale

Chapter 1: Theft

This was a story I wrote for the Scholastic Art and Writing Competition entry.

I have never written anything like this before, so I hope that it gets some love.

TW: Mentions of a nonbinary character (them).

REMINDER: This is fantasy and I have done a lot of research on the topics of this and I know I embellished and made my own kind of myth and storyline. Please don't take it to heart.

Enjoy!

“Honey, have you seen my grandmother’s broach?” Their mother exclaims.

Tonight is one of the parties that their father’s law firm hosts. The formal attire is to be proper. Their mother was wearing a glamorous periwinkle dress with a v-neck accentuating her collarbones and a slit in the skirt to accentuate her long tan legs.

“Well, I don’t know, darling. Have you checked your bedside table drawer?” Their father asked the mother.

Their father was a tall and stoic man. He was dressed in his dark blue suit with a black tie to match their mother's aesthetic for the evening. His black mop of hair was slicked back like those of the Gatsbian era of the roaring twenties. Their father was the type of man who would give them a secret mischievous smile that felt like there was a secret that only they would know. They loved their father very dearly.

“I already checked there, hun. It was not there.” Their mother said, exasperated.

This just happened to be a common occurrence in the household. Stuff went missing all of the time. It tended to be items of value, but sometimes it was toilet paper or cans of tuna, maybe the occasional blanket or two. Wren, a seventeen-year-old teen with thick onyx curls and moss-green eyes, was often blamed for such things. Still, this time was peculiar, as Wren was not allowed to touch their mother's Jewellery and hadn't been in the room recently, so it couldn't possibly have been them.

“Sweetheart, did you touch your mother’s broach?” Their father asked kindly. The kind of consideration that makes his happy wrinkles crease around his eyes.

“No, father, I did not touch mum’s jewellery. I have been here doing my homework since I got home.” They answered in kind.

“Alrighty, sweetheart, keep up those good grades of yours, and maybe you can get jewellery like your mother.” He said mischievously. Like he was secretly promising them a prize. For instance, their mum’s broach is still currently lost in an unknown place in the house, a mystery worth an award for solving.

Unbeknownst to Wren and their parents, there is a faint fall of weight underneath the house. In the darkness amongst the cobwebs and creepy crawlies, two glowing slit eyes peer unblinkingly. And in the mouth of such creatures’ is a shiny gold broach.

[ofxbloomed]

Was that [JODIE COMER]? Oh no no, that was just [HELAENA TARGARYEN], a [CANON CHARACTER] from [HOUSE OF THE DRAGON]. They are [TWENTY TWO] years old, use [SHE/HER] and [ARE NOT] aware that they are not actually from Washington DC. Too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.

how long has your character been here one year

what is your character's job she’s a pet store worker and loves to work with all pets, but definitely favors the more exotic kind of animals. you know, not dogs, cats, gerbils, hamsters, or birds. she thinks fish are cool. frogs can be cute. and well, she has a unique pet on her own as well. 

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom from her appearances in the show and from what i’ve learned from various articles about the books. 

has any magic affected your character her memories of her life in westeros and of family are gone, but she does have nightmares sometimes. 

and any other information you might find useful for us and the other members to know!! i mainly wanted to take up helaena as a way to try and give her a better life than what she had. i won’t go into too much detail, but if you know then you know. basically it’s tragic. helaena isn’t exactly a socially awkward person, but bringing up the topics of her interests has turned off many people. she has a pet tarantula that she’s had for about six months and it has, surprisingly, helped her cope with the nightmares she’s suffered from since arriving in this city. i can go into more details with this stuff later, especially for future connections with helaena. 

side note--> helaena also talks to herself quite often. it can be a mix between a whisper or a soft tone that’s just above that. 

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was hiding from this humanoid monster-like thing that was after the color yellow, anything yellow. If you were wearing a shirt that had yellow on, you had to take it off because the monster would eat you otherwise. It was night time and I was trying to convince a old lady to come with my friends and survive in the woods but then the monster appeared and we hid as it consumed anything yellow, then it turned around and spoke to me and said, "I just wanna be like you humans. I don't understand humans," then it went back outside and it looked at me through the window with its glowing red eyes.

[potentempath]

“it’s an AMERICAN GIANT MILLIPEDE, or an iron worm, as it’s sometimes called. uh  — don’t worry, though. they’re typically harmless. they can excrete a noxious liquid that can cause something called millipede burn, but they only do it when threatened. they don’t bite; millipedes are herbivores.  they feed on decaying wood and leaves and the occasional fruit. lots of people keep these guys for pets, actually. really, they’re quite friendly. wanna hold him?” 

[chilled-gay-baker]

Patton's fear is spiders and Janus' is Leslie Odom Jr. thank you have a nice day.

[innosen]

make chihiro eat her veggies 2k20 / accepting

@fleursung​ said: gives her a plate of broccoli and baby corns. ❝ you have to eat it or a hundred butterflies will be on your blanket tonight. ❞ / :pensive: im so sorry chihiro sweetie.

a HUNDRED butterflies CRAWLING on her blanket ? with all their tiny little legs ? SHIVER. she’s DEFINITELY NOT going to like this ( NOT EVEN ONE BIT ) but it looks like she has no other choice. taking the plate tentatively in her hands , she took a deep breath in and practically WOLFED everything down in a flash ; not even bothering to chew the pieces at all !

[always-bookgasming]

Did... Did someone drop a crawfish on the pavement? I live in Indiananapolis. Where did they get a crawfish?