#creations out of procrastination are always the best somehow
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procrastinated my tasks so hard i recorded and mixed an entire song
I've been obsessed with this one ever since I first heard it in WOE.BEGONE and sometimes I go back to it and have very strong feelings about it all over again
Original song by @woebegonepod
My Soundcloud
#w.bg#i know the strumming aint Quite Right but lets conveniently ignore that#also the backing vocals are An Attempt#i have no idea what im doing 👍#anywho im quite happy with this one#creations out of procrastination are always the best somehow#god i cant remember the tag for my music kdbdkjfjfb#niki.rambles#niki.music#lets just go with that#idk
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1. Trauma, spite, humility.
2. Nnnnnnnnno.
3. Everything, Everywhere, All at Once
Rose Red
The Mask
4. I used to have a friend who could communicate with me fluently while we turned the first sound/most consonants into the letter B. No one could ever understand us, and I miss it.
5. Art, porn, and needing a place to ramble.
6. Fanbase interaction is a double edged sword lol.
7. Being alone for the rest of my life. My family has always been small, and it's been getting smaller. I'm trying to be mindful that while I'm getting older, so is my grandma. I need to love her as best I can, while still building my own life. Once she's gone, I'll have lost my core unit completely. Friends get busy, and romantic love is complicated for me. I don't want unhealthy companionship, just someone who feels like home no matter where we go.
8. 2 reoccurring dreams. One is walking through a never ending, always under construction house.
The second is walking on water with carnivorous, giant fish under the surface.
9. When I was 7 or 8 I still lived with my mom in a shitty part of town. At the end of the block was this weird old guy who gave off Goosebump villain energy. He looked after all of the neighborhood stray cats, and one of them just had kittens. I would always hover around his place to play with the cats, and on the day I went to see the new kittens I bumped into a wasp nest on one of the cat boxes. They somehow got into my shirt and STUNG THE SHIT OUT OF ME. Imagine a kid running down a street known for drugs and prostitution, ripping their shirt off, SCREAMNG BLOODY MURDER. when I made it back home topless, my mom made me lay down on the porch divider and covered me in bags of ice. Lol
10. Yes, and no. I feel emotions very deeply, but I do my best to work through them logically. I don't like when how I feel affects others negatively unless they're malicious, and always try to approach them with outlets that can process them on my own. I make things, exercise, talk with friends, etc. Fuck, if they're too strong I'll book a rage room and get that shit out. I make space for them, but I still have a life to live.
11. Confusing tbh lol. I've always been a very intense person, which is understandably intimidating. I'm very all or nothing with most things in life, including love. Romance to me is making room for another person to exist in your world. Learning who they are, what they need, and being mindful of them. Letting them do the same for you, and touch your heart when you would rather chew your own arm off than risk it most of the time. But if it's a specific person, maybe it's ok. Maybe I want to let them. To listen to eachother, and love eachother how we need to be loved.
12. Don't bleed for people who wouldn't sweat for you.
13. Procrastinating getting ready for work.
14. Maybe skydive? That's the only thing I can think of that makes me hesitant. Lol
15. Peace. Rest. Love.
16. I would never want to feel anxiety ever again.
17. Animals, creation (my own, and others), physical contact.
18. I want to so badly. I WANT TO BELIEVE. I do think it's VERY unlikely that we are the only form of life in all of existence tho. Aliens gotta be out there.
19. The possibility of it. Never know what's gonna happen, but I hope it's good. And if it's not, I hope it's at least funny.
20. The peacefulness and excitement. I love that at night my time is mine. I love the stars, I love the company that happens after sunset, I love night life. I miss working in performance. Night time was magical, and work was always fun.
21. I'm not sure. I'm definitely not a religious person, but I like to think something outside of human comprehension is goin' on.
22. I owe you everything I have become, or ever will be. I am only able to be who I am today, because you loved me though all the shit things life threw at us. I will love you until I die, and even after if I can.
23. I wish I didn't hate you, but whenever I try to remember how it felt to love you, the closest I get is pitty. I tried for so long to be understanding to you, and love you despite everything you did to me. I stopped loving you the second you put your hands around my throat.
24. I am hard to kill.
25. Autumn. Crunchy leaves~ Hot soups~ HALLOWEEN 🎃
26. Dark red. Idk, I just like it.
27. People call me whatever they want, lol. Too many to count.
28. Fortune cookie fortunes, manga/books, cheap jewelry.
29. Cry, talk, find outlets and comfort.
30. Farts. A well timed fart will END ME every time.
31. Both. I do my best to be a organized mess in every sense lol.
32. Surprisingly, 1.
33. Too fucking many.
34. Passive aggression, and indirectness.
35. YES *honks clown horn*
36. Both. I like to be very upfront about who I am. It saves me time and filters out the weak. Lol.
Anyone is welcome to read me, but I am hesitant to let people start writing on my pages.
37. I don't really do secrets when it comes to myself, and other people's secrets aren't mine to tell.
38. Don't have a SONG, but I did recently fall into "Half Alive" again after 5 years. "Still Feel" was the last one I remembered.
39. I started watching Game Grumps on the reg when my dog died. It was the only thing that could pull me out of my grief long enough to eat. I love idiot friends having fun together, and they bottle and sell that shit. Lol
40. Popping bones, spitting, cursing, all the fun ones.
questions I think would be fun to be asked
what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?
show us a picture of your handwriting?
3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?
what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?
what made you start your blog?
what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?
what scares you the most and why?
any reacquiring dreams?
tell a story about your childhood
would you say you’re an emotional person?
what do you consider to be romance?
what’s some good advice you want to share?
what are you doing right now?
what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?
what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?
if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
name 3 things that make you happy
do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?
favourite thing about the day?
favourite things about the night?
are you a spiritual person?
say 3 things about someone you love
say 3 things about someone you hate
what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?
fave season and why?
fave colour and why?
any nicknames?
do you collect anything?
what do you do when you’re sad?
what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?
are you messy or organised?
how many tabs do you have open right now?
any hobbies?
any pet peeves?
do you trust easily?
are you an open book or do you have walls up?
share a secret
fave song at the moment?
youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?
any bad habits?
(this post was stolen from @teenage-mutant-ninja-freak, since it couldn't be reblogged anymore)
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Having them as roommates
characters: Hu Tao/Itto x gn!reader (platonic)
college au
a/n: just smth I wanted to write, since I didn't have that much time today. So anyway, I present you: Hu "definitely has a ouija board" Tao and Arataki "has the actual intelligence of a rock" Itto
Hu Tao would be on her best behaviour for the first few weeks, sure, she was a bit… eccentric, but over all seemed like a normal roommate, but once you got accustomed to it, she started showing her true self. While you thought about just packing your things up and leaving in the middle of the night at first, your exposure to her pranks and terrible, dark sense of humour eventually caused you to find amusement in it. The first time you laughed about one of her jokes, you caught both of you completely off-guard.
But there were also a few good things about living with her. Hu Tao was a decent cook… if she wanted to. Eating her food could either result in having a pretty good meal or in you trying to get the terrible taste of her creation out of your mouth, so it didn’t come as a surprise that you would be the one doing the cooking most of the time. You also had to admit that, once you got used to her rather odd humour, there never were any boring moments with her, when the two of you weren’t watching one of the many films Hu Tao recommended to you, you would be chatting about all kinds of stuff.
You sat at your desk, a cup of black tea in one hand, your notes in the other. If only you had started studying a bit earlier, you wouldn’t be stressing out while calculating the minimum amount of sleep a person needed for their brain to be somewhat functioning. When you felt yourself getting tired again, you took a quick sip from your tea, only to realise, that it had seemingly lost it’s affected. Just as you were thinking about a new way to keep yourself awake, your roommate barged into your room, either already expecting you to be in the process of pulling an all-nighter, or simply not caring for your sleep, either way, you had just developed a new plan.
You despised horror movies, they robbed you of all possibilities of having even a second of sleep, making you too scared to close your eyes for more time required to blink, so they were just the thing you needed at this moment. When you asked Hu Tao if she wanted to watch one of the many horror movies, she always tried to coerce you into watching, her surprise made it almost seem as if you asked her to get rid of someone for you, but she quickly found her composure before shooting you a smile and dragging you to the TV.
What was supposed to be just a single film, quickly turned into a movie marathon, with the two of you watching one scary story after another, completely forgetting your original reason to watch one in the first place.
“Hey… didn’t you tell me you have a test in a few days?”, Hu Tao eventually asked before yawning and stretching herself, her reminder causing you to start panicking for a moment, only stopping once you decided to count the days until the exam in your head.
“I still have two days. If I study today and tomorrow, I’ll be fine”, you eventually responded, leaning back before letting out a sigh. Exactly, two days of studying are enough to still get a decent grade.
…As you saw your results, having barely managed to somehow not flank the exam, you felt a sudden urge to punch your past self while swearing to yourself that you would never procrastinate ever again. Well, starting from tomorrow, you had a stressful day after all, so you deserved a bit of rest. But tomorrow you would start ignoring all of Hu Tao’s invitations to watch movies together and focus on what was important.
Spoiler: You didn’t.
Even though you and Itto were roommates for quite some time, you were pretty sure that he had never even said your name once. The moment you two got assigned to live together, he started calling you nothing other than “bro”, “dude” or “guy”. At first you were a bit irritated by his behaviour, but you quickly got used to it and even joined in, causing neither of your names to be said out loud in your home ever again.
To be completely honest, you had absolutely no clue how he managed to pass his classes, becoming somewhat convinced that he did so by a mix of sheer luck and his entire friend group combining their brain-cells. Not that you minded, since there were a lot worse people you could have been forced to live together and while his looks made you worried that he might force you to do all the housework, you quickly found a way to trick him into doing most of it.
Itto was… pretty bad at video games, but that didn’t stop him from getting competitive over them every single time, even if he didn’t even know the controls of the game. So, whenever you saw that there were dishes to be made, and it technically was your day to do so, you would ask him to play a game or two to determine who would get to do them.
“Dude… isn’t it like, your day to make the dishes?”, he asked you, clearly not being too thrilled over the possibility of potentially having you dumb your share of work on him. He learned slow, but he learned from his mistakes, you had to give him that. But while this would be the end for most, you had found a handy “cheat-code” to make his reluctance vanish into thin air.
“Are you scared that you might lose?”, while your grin and tone should have been enough to make it clear to everyone that taking you up on your “offer” was a terrible idea, Itto’s pride seemingly once again got the better of him, since his faced told you that he began seriously considering it. It didn’t take too long for him to eventually shake your hand with a big, stupid smile on his face.
“Okay, but this time I’ll definitely beat you!”
Sometimes, you couldn’t help but feel guilty about using Itto to make your life easier, especially now that you were watching him do the dishes once again, but whenever you did feel bad, you would remember all the painful nights you’d spent trying to stuff as much knowledge as possible into his brain just before an exam and how you would worry about potentially getting a new roommate each and every time, only for him to somehow pass the test. Those terrible memories would never fail to make you cheer up again, making it possible for you to clear your mind, lean back and stream your favourite show in silence.
#genshin x you#genshin x reader#genshin impact#genshin x y/n#genshin impact x reader#hu tao x you#hu tao x y/n#hu tao x reader#arataki itto x reader#itto x reader
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11/11/11 Tag
Tagged by @fatal-blow, thank you!! <333
there are so many tag things waiting for me and I’m procrastinating everything but this looks fun so here we go!
1. How many wips do you have going on right now?
Uhhhh.....in terms of active wips I have two! As Dreams Collide and Like Dragons of Old. Though Dreams is more active than Dragons, right now, because dammit I have to finish something once. Both are the first in a trilogy, but Dragons is probably going to escalate very badly and be 400k long. I hope Dreams stays under 200k XD
Counting on-hold WIPs all in all I have ... 9? I bet none of them will stay standalones, so ... far too many. :’D Whyyyy can’t I do short things.
2. Loud clicky keyboards or quiet keyboards?
Hmm I started typing “quiet keyboard” but then realized that mine clicks pretty loudly so I guess.... I like keyboard sounds? XD
3. Who was your first OC?
That is a very good question. I don’t really remember? I’ve never written fanfic so all characters in all my stories were original (well, sort of, some were very similar to characters from my latest fave book.... xD) I told myself stories long before I could write... I think it might have been a tiger xDDD
I think my “first proper” OC is Ilien, who’s been ghosting through my stories for a pretty long time now. He’s now one of the main characters in Firewings, an immortal, 500-year-old sort-of-mercenary who is known by others as “fog rider” (It sounds better in German...) and most people think he’s a myth. He wears only white and runs around at night killing poeple-eating monsters and saving those stupid enough to be caught by them. Firewings sort of grew around him and his accidentally-adopted-daughter :D
4. Are there any common themes that come up in a lot of wips or characters?
I really, really love hope punk since its creation last year! I think the theme in that would be ... weaponized kindness and compassion and hope? xD
Grey morality is 100% my thing
I usually have some sort of dragon in any given story, does that count as a theme?
Also, really mean, creative magic systems and the cost of power
I love the found family trope :’3
platonic love!!!!!!! (but also all other kinds of love)
stories!
uhhhh probably more but I can’t think of anything
5. Are there any genres you currently write for now that you never thought you would write for when you first started?
Uhhh not really xD I’ve always loved fantasy stories and my stories are still mostly fantasy xD
6. Do you typically spend more time developing/creating protagonists or antagonists?
Hmm I think it’s definitely protagonists xD I usually start developing them far earlier, too, and then the antagonists sort of come after xD
7. Do you have a line you’ve written that you really like? Post it if you do!
I can’t think of one right now, probably because the only thing I’ve written during this past month has been an “Overly Detailed Outline” of As Dreams Collide. XD
8. When you’re coming up with a new wip, where do you usually find inspiration?
There are so many ways! Usually it starts with a character, or a place, or a concept, and then it grows around that. Or “what if”s! I also really like pinterest for character/place/mood inspiration :3 I’ve found that my most creative ideas usually come from non-fiction talks, novels, or documentaries (or travelling). Especially when these things are about something connected to nature :3
As Dreams Collide started with a certain “mood” and an image I had in my head back in 12th grade, which I then wrote down, made a short story out of, and then it turned into a novel during NaNoWriMo 2014. It’s something completely different now and even that original mood and image are gone, but it’s grown with its characters and the world and I really like where it’s going. The original idea was quite similar to a lot of other things, which was fine... but it’s much more original now, and I really, really like that :3 Also it’s much more me than that original idea would’ve been xD
Like Dragons of Old started with the idea of a half-feral kid being raised among towering stacks of books in a library, with stories being a very important theme. (I got that idea from listening to a talk by Neil Gaiman about the importance of stories and, specifically, libraries). Then another kid emerged, who’d been born in the library, and LDOO evolved into a story of two children who loved each other more than anything else in the world, but would grow up to make a single different choice under the very same circumstances which would set them on drastically diverging paths, and who would end up as terrible enemies one day, while still loving each other.
I realized quite quickly that it would have to be a trilogy, and I also really liked the idea that they’d start out as kids and grow up in the first one, be apart from one another in the second, and be around 40 or 50 years old during the last book, when everything had escalated to its worst point and they would meet again on opposing sides.
Timbre and Selandri slowly turned into people, and the world(s) they would live in mostly emerged from inspirational photos and art that I found on pinterest :D
The magic system and gods came from a long brainstorming session, with me deciding in the beginning that it would be sound/music magic and tree gods, and then trying to figure out how to make that into a cool thing.
Onii, the phoenix who chooses to look like a chicken, happened because I really wanting a chicken in the story, but one who wouldn’t die from old age during it, and then she was suddenly a POV character x).
It’s grown out of a bunch of random ideas and images that have next to nothing in common which I really loved, and it’s now my fave WIP ever. I have all of those random mini-ideas and concepts written on small pieces of paper, and all of them are stuck together so I don’t loose them in the chaos XD
Usually my best ideas are things that have nothing in common, get put in a big pot, stirred thoroughly, and are somehow “cooked” into a coherent story x)
Hm, this escalated a bit whoops
9. Would you ever want to have writing as a career?
Yessssss
10. What is your ideal writing environment?
I have a desk and there I sit and type XD Bonus points if I can listen to film/game scores, or instrumental music. Extra bonus points when there’s a thunderstorm outside and I don’t have to leave the whole day and can just write. :’)
11. Pick your favorite question that I answered and answer it!
Well, you gave me the same questions, so... XD
---------
I’m an idiot and also lazy so you all get the same questions because they were very good questions and I want to know your answers :)
instead of question 11 you get: What are your favourite 3 books and why? (it’s a great way to find new books hehe :D all the unread books in my bookshelf sigh in horror)
I’m tagging @romenna @fynniana @madmoonink @kittensartswriting @raiswanson @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword @wilde-writing @theprissythumbelina @cirianne and anyone else who wants to x) Only if you want to, of course! :3
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[ LOADING INFORMATION ON HONEY’S MAIN VOCAL GYURI…. ]
DETAILS
CURRENT AGE: 23 DEBUT AGE: 19 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 13 SKILL POINTS: 11 PERFORMANCE | 17 VOCAL | 08 DANCE | 00 RAP SECONDARY SKILLS: Imitations
INTERVIEW
msg think they’ve struck gold when they see her. it certainly helps that she provides an almost perfect base to work with: an impressive voice, decent visuals, decent everything else (”don’t worry,” they tell her, “we can fix that.”). if anything, she’s the ideal candidate to conform to the standards they plan to thrust upon her. especially when she’s just so willing to comply. kang gyuri is presented as bright smiles, shy laughter, and clever quips; embodying msg’s demands to a t, and in turn, living up to honey’s saccharine sweet name. which prompts management to kick it up a notch and add the ‘protective unnie’ to the mix: the mother-like figure who’s constantly watching over the other members and tending to their needs.
ever kind, ever caring. ever fake.
still, popularity doesn’t immediately come for her. she wonders whether it’s to do with the fact her visuals aren’t extraordinary. maybe her aegyo doesn’t come across as naturally as the others do, and with the fascination for high pitched squeals and pouts, she’s at a loss. but it’s her voice, that voice, which elevates her into the spotlight, ensures she isn’t bombarded with the same harsh words directed to others. some of the time, at least.
although there are certain things she can’t escape. such as the criticism over her unstable vocals (see: their debut stage), the comments suggesting that her glare was directed at a fellow member (see: the trending forum post in may). netizens deem her personality to be rather sly, completely going against what the group is meant to represent. nothing sweet about a girl with rumoured hidden intentions. talented? yes. pretty? sure. genuine? well—
shame, then, that she isn’t eager to go anywhere. the hatred and rumours aren’t enough to usher her towards the exit and on the next flight to seogwipo. in fact, she vows to stick around, firmly fixed on attaining her dream to become a multi talented soloist.
take it or leave it, she couldn’t care less.
BIOGRAPHY
the most common assumption shared by friends is surely, it must get lonely when her family consists of merely two members: dad and her. no other siblings to help out on the tangerine farm in seogwipo. no motherly figure to dote on him and her when days get tough. as if an additional member is somehow a necessity, to complete their happy little family portrait. to make everything better than it supposedly is.
fun fact: it’s fine the way it is now.
“don’t you think you need something else?” “what’s that?” “a thing, a pers—“ “can you get to the point?” “a mom.” “no.”
she isn’t afraid of calling out anyone attempting to question the notably absent motherly role. an arched brow and scoff greets strangers daring to inquire on the identity of this mystery woman. as far as she’s concerned, it shouldn’t matter who she may be when her dad’s managed to fulfil the role just fine. going above and beyond to ensure she’s happy, healthy.
he’s enough. her dad’s enough.
/
“don’t you know who this is?”
by this, she means the likes of uhm junghwa and Fin.K.L.
by this, she means the various trot cds scattered on her bedroom floor. by this, she means the songs that virtually everybody should know
her dad encourages her love for music by contributing to her extensive collection. no matter the artist, the year, the genre; each cd and tape is happily accepted and carefully tucked away into a tattered cardboard box for future listening. silence is frowned upon when there’s more than enough at her fingertips to drown it out, once and for all.
it begins first with trot, followed by ballads before quickly moving to pop, eventually becoming a mix between the three. songs are created by combining small aspects of each, taking the parts she likes and discarding the rest. it helps with the boredom. when she’s confined to a classroom with nothing to do, stuck in the car on a long drive with nothing to listen to. when her procrastination is at a sky high.
such creations are typically kept under wraps. namely since friends struggle to identify the inspirations behind each tune and she figures it’s better to keep them away. to save her the disappointment, them the confusion. that is, before a classmate requests a song out of plain curiosity and she goes along, not thinking much of it.
funny, really, how a man with a glossy business card believes otherwise.
/
thirteen and scouted, thirteen and determined. thirteen and ready to go.
there’s absolutely no problem in pursuing a dream, her dad explains. but it becomes one when it involves having to relocate to seoul. not to mention entering an industry with such an infamous reputation. one known to take advantage of girls as young, pretty, talented as her. because regardless of how tough she thinks herself to be, there’ll always be someone smarter, tougher than she is. which explains why the final decision doesn’t come about immediately. he requests time to run through the various options. backup plans, educational plans. anything to reassure him (and her) that this venture will result in something. anything to make up for deviating from the plans that was initially put in place for her: study, postgraduate study, work. not: study, train, possible star.
“you can always come back. you know that, right?” “of course.”
extra money is tucked away at the bottom of her suitcase if the situation in seoul proves difficult. for the purchase of a ticket back home once she’s had enough and wants to return home to familiarity. safety. part of her thinks she might eventually do just that, while another part of her vows to stick it through, no matter what.
the latter, she learns, wins out.
/ her dance moves are awkward. her accent is horrendous.
but thank god she can sing. six years of training pushes her to the brink, tests her patience, and almost breaks her. key word to note, almost. trainers are deemed sadists for their knack for picking apart her self esteem before she even has time to piece herself together again. they demand perfection, she tries her damn best to give it to them at the cost of her own sanity, health. happiness.
she gives and gives and gives. they take and take and take.
it’s not enough. but she hangs on anyway, grits her teeth and continues to push, striving towards a goal dangled cruelly out of reach. she watches trainees like her disappear. girls who share the same dream deciding to opt out from how difficult it is, this path to stardom. unable to cope with the ongoing pressure to conform to ridiculously high standards, like how she’s feeling.
except she takes it all as motivation to keep going, sinking her teeth to what she believes is rightfully hers, the chance to prove her worth. refusing to leave until they drag it away from her, by force.
and she’ll get her chance—upon debut.
/
“you’re debuting? really?” “yep, really. i’m actually gonna be television soon.” “that’s my girl.”
of course, she doesn’t tell her dad what she’s sacrificed to get this far. prefers to brush over the “minor” details than mention them, saving him the trouble of fussing over her. even if he has more than enough reason to. like how she hasn’t eaten a proper meal in days, apart from the fifth ice cube meant to pass as a snack—or lunch. could be both, she isn’t sure at this point. the entire thing screams dangerous and unhealthy, except staff demand she look nothing less than amazing for debut. if that means forcing her body to cooperate, despite the warning signs begging her to stop, then so be it.
suffering, she learns, is the norm here. suffering, she’s told, is needed here.
so that’s exactly what she does.
/ the taste of fame is just as she imagined: addictive, albeit with a slightly bitter aftertaste. previous hardships are forgotten once honey gains traction and she’s immediately swept up in all it brings. performances, cfs, variety show appearances, being on the road to becoming a somebody than a nobody. consecutive early morning starts can be forgiven once she’s able to grace the stage, lapping up the attention from strangers who adore her. people who’ve fallen for the image msg has crafted for her.
( because isn’t this what she’s trained for? isn’t this what she’s always wanted? )
and maybe it’s just that, the satisfaction with the idol life that allows her to overlook the issues bubbling beneath the surface, threatening to ruin everything she’s worked so damn hard for. she’s done too much, come too far to turn her back on years of dedication, on a dream that’s been in motion for as long as she can remember. so she chooses to ignore, pretends none of it exists. it’s better that way.
praise makes up for the lack of sleep and back to back schedules. fanchants distract her from thinking back to her last healthy, fulfilling meal. colourful stages overshadow her desire to return home and escape the attention.
this is what she’s always wanted: adoration.
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“The Mood” blog #4: “The Giant has Awoken”
(Written Sunday, April 1st to Wednesday, April 4th) Never have I grinded so much in one week as I did this past week. I just had so much drive to get things done and dig deeper with the dialogue & presentation of the show. I wanted to create something that would make people grab onto every second of the show more than ever by creating paragraphs of motivation with some smooth little intros to segway from song to song while I change guitars/tune/water etc. So pretty much every morning I'd start with making a little intro session for a song while jotting down notes about what I want the world to know about (kinda like these blogs). Then I'd finish the session at around noon, stem it out, drop it in the live show and export it for video editing while I went to the gym. Then I'd edit some projector video footage for it when I got back. It was super fun picturing myself on stage in front of a glowing-eyed audience giving them something more than just my songs.
Between all of that, I was in and out of the garage repairing the light bar towers and re-programming the new replacement light that I picked up almost two months ago (see blog #3 about procrastination), taking care of the many booking odds and ends, and finishing drums for demos before the rented cymbals were due back on Saturday.
It was pure crunch time Wednesday before the Hamilton show. I made one last intro for Sustain and then I picked up Austin (local kid who lives to learn about gear and help with any live production) to help me with the final rehearsal with the new rig. There were still some Axe FX presets/scenes to be made and layed out as well as some last minute lighting issues that popped up. So actual new-rig-soundcheck and rehearsal did't get rolling until around 10:30. I dropped Austin off at two then programmed some lights for This Dissonance until about 3:30am.
Thursday in Hamilton was stressful but amazing! I picked up all the new merch in Scarborough, loaded up the van, and was an hour late for the load in! My vocal coach, Tom Oliver, came out which is always great! I have a lesson with him this Tuesday night and I can't wait to work on some things that I'm sure we both noticed needed work. I could tell Tom loved the new show much more than the Rosedale shows he's seen in the past. He ran up on stage after my set, hugged me and said "Mike! The Giant has Awoken!" I knew exactly what he was talking about. What I really like about my lessons with Tom is that he knows exactly what useful exercises and knowledge I need to be reminded that singing is mostly a mental skill; its an easy skill and there's no reason to make it hard. He also teaches useful techniques for connection with audience/being present. So I know he was loving the new between-song-moti.
That between song motivation is so damn hard to memorize, though. It brings me back to the neurotic days of memorizing monologues for Drama class. I knew it was not gonna go word for word at the Hamilton show. I forgot about 80% of it but at least touched on the topics with those intros and videos doing justice. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the scripted banter. I don't want it to come out like I'm reading a script in my head (or even too rehearsed) but I know that it definitely beats me trying to wing it. And when it's right on point, the message is much more vivid and powerful. I just gotta put more time into it to get it more solid. Plenty of time to do that on the thousands of miles of driving ahead of me.
Speaking of long drives, Friday was one hell of a mission to Montreal. About two hours into my drive Bryan called me. My aux input in my van isn't very loud so I had my phone in one hand while driving (totally illegal, I know. But I was watching the road just fine and straight in my lane.) Then a red car pulled up beside me and started yelling/mouthing "Get off your phone! Get off your phone!" They were getting pretty close to me and would not pass. It was actually getting pretty dangerous. I was explaining to Bryan what this crazy couple in the red car was doing and he couldn't believe it. Then I noticed the guy in the passenger seat got on his phone and made a call. I sped past them to get away from their nonsense. I had a pretty good feeling that they were calling the cops on me. So I ended the call with Bryan and sure enough, a couple miles later, an OPP car pulls off the shoulder and starts following me, puts on his lights, and pulls me over.
"The reason I'm pulling you over is somebody reported you holding your phone making a call while driving." He said. I fed him some BS: 'my phone was clipped up here on the dash for GPS and my friend kept calling me so I had to keep hitting reject so I could see my GPS. I saw the crazy couple pulling up beside me super close so I sped away from them as I didn't know what they were gonna do next...' Just as he let me got, my GPS sang "Police! reported ahead!"... He asked if my GPS was telling me where cops were. I explained to him that the GPS app, Waze, lets fellow drivers report cops on the road, red light cameras, hazards, traffic etc. "Does it cost anything??" he asked. It was like the biggest epiphany ever for him. He was a pretty cool guy. I felt bad feeding him my BS and that I had to take that call but I've DEFINITELY done some much more dangerous things while driving. I actually felt pretty safe and alert talking to Bry about Saturday's plans with both eyes on the road. And it was a pretty crucial time to make up some believable BS. I've never had that happen before, though, it was a trip. The whole time the cop was taking my licence and insurance info I was just thinking "Goddammit, Ilan Musk, lets get this Google Ai driving stock in all vehicles already..." Come to think of it, that technological advancement/approval alone will basically create that extra 4-5 hours a day I was dreaming about in Blog #1...and if it messes up, it me$$e$ up!
The Montreal show went extremely well. Other than my PTLS (Post Traumatic Leaving Stress) rattling my nerves as Worst Case Scenario's fans said their goodbyes right after their set, I was pretty confident with my crowd that we were gonna have some fun with my new show/rig's first headlining set. The crowd was super responsive; singing along, clapping, shouting out requests, dancing. I was once again extremely impressed with Montreal's vibes and really proud to have such awesome fans. The four doors and 46 winding stairs to get up to La Vitrola were, as usual, well worth the grind. It is the perfect venue with the perfect staff. I'll load my insane amounts of gear up those steps any day if that venue and scene continues to be that awesome. Also, Worst Case Scenario, The Moon and Back, and Summerled made it all possible by not only playing incredible sets and bringing out their awesome fans, but also helping me load my Big Dirties up and down those Death Steps. Jon from Summerled, especially, saved my life by sticking around super late to help me load out and letting me crash on his couch.
I had to leave Montreal at 9:30am Saturday to get back to Toronto for my family's 4:00 Easter dinner at my cousin's. I left early to pick up Bryan from his cousin's (literally 5 minutes down the street) and head to Hard Luck for our 6pm load in. Another good 30 stairs to tackle at Hard Luck. Plus rain.
But was it ever worth it! A bunch of people I haven't seen in years were showing up! Friends of family friends, people I went to high-school with that were a couple years younger, fans that finally got to come check out their first Rosedale show! The stage was a bit of a nightmare from the headliner's sound check, but I definitely put my foot down and took charge making sure the show didn't get pushed back too far and my set did not suffer. That is one of my biggest fears; when there is a good crowd at a show and it's time to really shine, you end up working with amateurs who are unobservant and inconsiderate. So I was putting out everyone else's fires from 6pm-10pm so that my set could be at it's best. And, as much as it was frustrating to deal with, I was really seeing it as an example of how going out of your way to help the less experienced is necessary to showcase your own creation. I also had a lot of help from friends getting my gear to the stage quickly.
After the show, some friends were offering their help pack up my insane amounts of gear. This is a common offering that I really do appreciate, though it is hard to communicate that it is easier/quicker to do myself than to teach. Once everything is packed, all hands on deck definitely decreases the burden. But that's usually about an hour after last call. So I have to politely decline and somehow explain that it isn't a trust issue, it's just that I have some weird casings and windup methods to make it all fit and so the next day's setup as tight and smooth as possible. Some people get it, some don't. But in any case, I appreciate them being there for the show more than anything.
I really don't mind doing the entire pack-up by myself all that much. I often get into this conversation with the venue staff as they impatiently watch my mad scientist maneuvers with wrenches and Rubbermade containers. 'This is the third most fun thing on my agenda' I'll tell them. Allow me to break it down: Order of most fun to least fun activities in Rosedale's common agenda:
playing the songs (live/rehearsal and/or writing/recording etc.)
hanging out with the people who were involved (saw the show, ran the session etc.)
gear management/assembly/load out
driving (often involves eating / listening to music...but usually it's boring and time moves slow...and Red lights have my number)
going to the gym (many assets, but a miserable process)
promoting/booking/marketing. (Last and least. By far.)
I guess it could fluctuate depending on the circumstances, but usually that's how I look back on the day in my head. And when I break down that list to venue staff, they definitely start to believe that I'm more sane than they initially thought. And if you guys could only see some of my inbox (on Facebook and Gmail especially) you'd see why promoting and booking is,by far, last on the list. Should there be anything else thrown into the agenda, it's definitely gonna be better than promoting/booking.
I get thrown into the deepest darkest holes especially when I set out to promote. I don't take it so hard anymore if a venue or promoter throws their doubt stones at me. If anything I understand it more than ever because of the lack of respect/appreciation some of my once-most-loyal fans have these days. Don't get me wrong, I love my fans and want nothing more than for them to succeed and be inspired by what I do. But when they start doubting (by giving me their lame/fake excuses) or giving me shit for simply inviting them to a show instead of making conversation, that is just petty millennial bullshit that literally turns me whiter than my piano keys (hence the lyrics for Quicksand and Grey).
LYRIC PARTY, NARC STYLES:
I turn whiter than a song in “C” as I watch the room empty, “Nooo!” just press on, believe - “Quicksand” - ROSEDALE
If I take this world by the throat and I make it through what seems impossible; won’t be grey. ‘Til then, I’m alone “Grey” - ROSEDALE
I'm starting to really believe that I get too personal with fans. I tend to consider them family and want to help them with anything they need especially if they just saw my show. And I can tell that they want to help me at the time and it's a great bonding feeling. But it seems like, these days, we gradually forget how much we want to help those people over time. Myself included. I mean, on one had I know I can't flip open my laptop everyday for 2 hours (humbly..) messaging every single Rosedalien personally asking them how their day went. But the other part of me really wants to show that I do genuinely give a damn about their lives and that they still matter to me. It's the reason I personally message them to come to shows! But over the past couple years it has really backfired. I have a folder entitled “WTF” on my laptop of screenshots from fans that either ignored me entirely or basically cussed me out for simply asking 'how are you?' or inviting them to a show. Some of these fans I've even driven home from shows so they didn't have to walk/uber, had long deep conversations with them about their lives/struggles, lent them my music for their own art projects, saved their letters/pictures etc. So it's messed up when I build a solid friendship with these people and then they ghost me or cuss me out when I let them know I'm in town performing again. It actually sometimes makes me wonder why I even still try.
'Why don't I just delete all my social media accounts and make music for myself to enjoy? Seems to be that way anyway.'
That's another reason I started this blog and the between-song-moti. I feel like the reason these family/friends/fans get petty and insecure is that they are so invested in their friendships that their true purpose in life/goals lack attention. I definitely tend to over invest feelings with people I meet all the time, too. But because I'm so driven and focused on my goals, I don't need to see a message from them for me to feel like they care. I know they are my new allies and I have a mission in life to accomplish. I know that it is magnetic- accomplishing my goals is only gonna motivate them to get to work on theirs. But I'm often misunderstood because I get too personal with them. If I message a fan about a show, they feel like they're just another $10 bill at the door. Furthermore, fans see a picture with another fan and get jealous that they haven't received any recent Rosedale attention. Believe me, it's even more ridiculous than it sounds.
So I've decided I'm not gonna be so personal anymore. I’ll just lay everything out publicly. Because these fans that get petty over me inviting them to shows are not actually interested in my art. They just want to feel extra important to somebody that is out tackling their goals. They need to feel like they matter more than other people, like it's a contest.
Don't get me wrong, this isn't all fans. I still have a good group of fans/family that respect my absence from their inbox. They are happy/understanding to see me building my following and will make every effort to come see me in their area. I'm just saying there is a real phenomenon happening on the other end of the spectrum where fans feel like they're owed something more than the additional attention they already received from their fellow artists. And if they don't get it (OR if they now have a new source to fill their attention void), they're no longer interested in the evolution of that artist.
I've been finding that the most genuine supporters I have, I've never really had to personally invite to a show. Weather they think Rosedale is a bigger deal than it is- or they just genuinely appreciate my art and that is enough for them; they come out to the shows almost every time and usually end up bringing some friends along too. I want to tell them how grateful I am for their support in more than just a 'thank you', but history shows that giving them anything more could create a reverse effect. They might even say things like "don't forget us when you're super famous" and now I laugh and say "don't forget me when I'm not famous by next tour".
It's a really odd generation we live in today with social media. But maybe it has been this way for years. Maybe the reason why successful artists no longer go hang out at Taco Bell with their fans post-show isn't because they grew a big head; maybe it's simply because they now have a strict routine/schedule that has made them successful. Maybe hanging out at Taco Bell after the show and snapchatting their hours away wasn't getting them anywhere so they developed self discipline and new work ethic. And maybe those hangouts, as fun as they were, were actually creating a diminishing effect on their growth/Starlight/legacy to those fans.
I'm sure there's a word for it... Star Power sounds silly but maybe that’s kind of what I’m talking about?
Ever notice that, for most big bands, you won't even see the lead singer before the show? He/she is nowhere in sight! We used to joke about that all the time with the Zawacki's (Virginia Bandmates) back in 2013. They'd insist that as much as it would work for a tall frontman like me to hide in the van/backstage until showtime, I could never pull it off because I'm literally hanging from the ceiling and onstage getting all my gear in order before the set time. Fans and other audience members see me setting up all show and 99% of them subconsciously think "Ohh, Rosedale is just like the local bands...meh!"
Bryan coincidentally brought that up on the way to the Toronto show Saturday. I laughed and told him he had a very good point. We laughed at how backwards most people are. (You'd think fans would see me going above and beyond the other local acts with my setup and think 'wow, we're in for a show tonight! We love our DIY hero!' ...but most don't... They just think I work at the venue!) Anyway, I've always thought that was interesting and relatable to the fact that I "lower myself" by personally inviting every one of my "fans" out to that given city's show. Again, though, don't get me wrong; I've also got some incredibly cool fans that actually come out and thank me for the invite/reminder. Most of them are in other bands, though.
Anyway, I just had to rant that as both sides were pretty prominent in these hometown shows. Everyone goes through phases, too, myself included. So it's no longer surprising when a fan comes out from under the rocks and starts to turn on the support jets. And I'm sure those phases are conducive with my phases (online marketing streaks, live streams, authenticity etc... Whatever floats their boat!) ... (conducive...did I just use that word for the very first time correctly?? ...just googled it...looks right, yeah?)
So I'll end it there! Sometimes authenticity takes multiple paragraphs! And I just realized a bit of a pattern; every second blog/week I eat like garbage and get all whiney and cynical in my writing/mood. (Hope you don’t mind. If you do, let me know.) I do hope you actually enjoyed this long rant/journal/blog and found some insight and inspiration! Go out and crush it regardless of how many fish fall off the boat! There are plenty more fish in the sea, just keep crushing it!
P.S I just ate two fortune cookies (cus I’m a pig) and they BOTH said this:
#rosedale#the mood#blog 4#the giant has awoken#again#fans#toronto#montreal#hamilton#ontario#quebec#canada#la vitrola#absinthe#hard luck#grind
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Odesta One shot- A christmas surprise
A/N: Finally I stopped procrastinating and made a christmas based Odesta fic for fun and even better posted it on the day- So this is not canon compliant as Finnick is alive as he should be and well Annie and their Son decide to make a surprise for him, heads up theirs also a reference to book which I’ve added into two other oneshots I’ve written called ‘Showing I care’ and ‘Showing I care Annie’s POV’ so you may want to read them first... Just type those titles into the bottom of my blog to find them or PM me for the link! Merry Christmas Guys!
A Christmas Surprise
“Okay kiddo, we have a couple of hours to decorate the house and surprise Daddy! Are you ready?” I said excitedly to the seven year old who was beaming up at me exposing the dimples he shared with his father.
Our usual tradition was that me, Finnick and Joshua would decorate the whole house together in time for Christmas with the stockings on top of the fireplace and the tree in a corner of the room its bristles poking in every which way, and most of the seashells being put on the bottom part of the tree as that was really the only place the little one could reach without the help of me or Finnick, next to the big window that gave you a view of the Victors village.
You could see two grey houses opposite and the beginning of a third (which used to be Mags’s) and towards the end of December when it got bitterly cold and the fireplace was used twenty four seven snow would fall and the grey would somehow feel a bit more cheerful than what it usually is.
However this years tradition has been changed a little due to a visit to our local baker a few weeks back…
Me, Finnick and Josh were spending the day together and went into the market where I used to run the stall for my mum and dad and back when my necklace and bracelets were sold…Before the rebellion and before Christmas was more cheerfully celebrated and affordable for everyone.
Anyway a few weeks before Christmas we always went as a family to the local bakery to get some cookies; which Josh was addicted too and made both me and his dad swear to never tell the baker that his uncle Peeta would bake them better, and to see if they had anything else that caught our eye as they usually had a little window display showcasing little gingerbread men; and the typical hot cross buns with their white icing perfectly creating a small cross shape on the bread which was tinted green due to the seaweed in the mixture (it was the same for the bread however the buns were more sweet than the bread)
When we were in there we weren't disappointed the display looked amazing, the gingerbread men were placed outside a gingerbread house with icing outlining the windows which were made from some sort of blue sugar syrup, doors made from chocolate, as well as the tiling of the roof which was made from the same gingerbread mixture as the house.
The men were also looked delicious with one being iced with a red glossy dress with circular candy cane mints at the bottom, matched with equally glossy yellow hair which was curled at the bottom, whilst the second one had a cardigan for little gumdrops acting as the buttons and the eyes as well as blue trousers. The thing that made it even more spectacular this year was that the green hot cross buns acted as little bushes near the house with little flowers being in the middle of the iced cross section.
The store itself was busy and was decorated with all sorts of Christmassy things such as mistletoe dotted around the store and the smell of cinnamon and sugar ambled its way into the air and the shelves were stacked with all sorts of biscuits from shortbreads to snickerdoodles and mince pies (which I detest because of how sour they are but my little brother used to love them) as well as the chocolate cookies with a decorative star on them which josh had asked for so whilst I got in the queue Josh and Finn went to go look at display which wasn’t unusual as they both had a sweet tooth and were always amazed as to what the baker could create plus it did look pretty effortless this year…
When we were home and sitting comfortably in the living room with the fire crackling away. i gave Josh his cookie as he started to jump up and down after waiting rather impatiently for his sweet treat and his father who was sitting next to me on the plus sofa with his arm over my shoulder, a piece of cake which smelt strongly of lemon and felt soft enough that it would crumble in your hand even though the top was covered in a sticky layer of sauce or syrup or maybe icing (to which I would never be able to tell the difference)
To which he was a bit surprised as he wasn’t expecting anything but it made him chuckle making his sea green eyes shine and go a darker shade of green like the dark green of grass after its rained,
“I thought you weren't getting me anything from the bakery as in your words I had enough cake to eat for a lifetime!” He said beginning to eat his way through the slice the golden crumbs going all over his jumper!
“Well it is Christmas plus I thought I’d surprise you” I said cheerfully placing my head in the crook of his neck all I could smell was the salt of ocean and the lemon from his slice of cake…
It was when I was tucking our little one in to bed that night when the moon was just beginning to cast a slither of light into his room making his soft curls seem more white than blonde however it was making the brown roots stand out a tiny bit and making him seem a little less tan from all the time he played tag with his friends on the beach or in the playground.
“Mum I got a question.” He said looking at me wide eyed the sea green that both me and Finnick shared twinkling in the moonlight making me smile
“Yes lovely what is it?” I said starting to pull the soft covers of his duvets up to his shoulders,
“Well I was wondering if this year we could have another tradition…One where we surprise Dad.” He said his voice picking up speed like wind in a storm which was going to tear a hole through a sail,
“Well what would you like to do?”
I said hoping that it would be something doable unlike that time he wanted to keep a crab as a pet.
“Well Daddy really loved the display at the bakery today and I thought we maybe you and I could bake a gingerbread together because I'm 99 percent sure because we both made it he’d like it more than the baker’s gingerbread house and he really likes sweets he’ll eat it plus then I have to traditions one where I surprise you and one where i surprise Dad!” And then he leaned in closer to my face and whispered “But it's gotta be super secret like you cannot tell Dad we gotta surprise him like me and him do for you on Christmas to” he then proceeded to make a shushing noise with a finger to his lips looking me dead in the eyes that I was fighting back the urge to laugh in his face.
“I love that idea however I might not be able to find a recipe for that so you might have to live with cake but let's do it!” I said joining in the whispered tone whilst being excited at the same time as usually at Christmas these two surprise me with an extra present or a handmade item it felt nice to have the tables turn for once.
So I kissed him softly on the forehead and said goodnight and then went to bed next to my husband; and smoothly lied that Josh wanted an extra story before bed when he asked what took so long.
It took me a few days of planning as: A) I had to phone Peeta to give me a basic Gingerbread recipe which I didn't think he would give to me incase it was a secret but he didn’t have a qualm about me adding it to my collection
B) I had to figure out the best time as Finnick’s work hours had changed due to the holiday so I had to figure out when he was out of the house.
So we decided to do it a couple of days before Christmas whilst he was at work before he left I did start to cook the batter so all me and josh had to do was decorate so everything was finished in time. The smell of the gingerbread which was baking in the oven filled the house with the smell of cinnamon and the obvious smell of ginger spice, I was just in the kitchen keeping an eye making sure that in the final moments of baking it would remain golden brown and not be burned to a crisp; whilst Josh was sitting in the living room finishing a book I had got for my seventeenth birthday (the one with the purple haired Mermaid on the cover)
Finnick finished getting ready to go to work (which was basically fishing) when he came into the kitchen to see what I was cooking- he was wearing a plain shirt with a slightly loose pair of trousers.
“That smells lovely Anne what are you making?” He asked planting a delicate kiss to my cheek
“A surprise.” I said cheerfully double checking the gingerbread was done and hopefully hiding it from view.
He chuckled (which is a sound I’d never get tired of hearing from) “Alright then I’m off to work now I should be back by four at the latest.” he hugged me from behind for a moment his skin felt soft.
I was watching him from the corner of my eye to make sure he wouldn’t try to look at anything in the kitchen again, he went to our son and tassled his hair and gave him a hug before going to the door and closing it softly behind him shouting an “See you later… Love you!” to us before it shut…
Once that was done I quickly went over to Josh to ask if he was ready and got the bread out of the oven and got the decorations prepared around the table so we could get on with it…
We just had the final piece of icing to one of the sugar cubes which was being used as a window and we were done me and josh looked at our creation proudly the house had white as a daisy icing outlining the windows and the door as well as a couple of bricks to make the house look a bit more like a cottage in a fairytale (which was Josh’s idea and it paid off) the windows were split into four with some haphazardly shaped lines and the sugarcubes acting as the four separate pieces of glass - Josh assured me he would make sure I would get a piece without a sugar cube as I didn’t like them as much as his Dad because they make my mouth salivate to the point where I struggle to talk.
On the roof we also added lots of sweets from broken up biscuits to jellybeans of assorted colours, we also used icing around the doors and windows to attach candy cane pieces to the borders we had created making the house seem even more colourful, especially in addition to the odd splotches of icing on the house which was caused by an icing fight caused by Josh in which icing ended up in my hair and on his nose but it made us laugh in the end.
We also had three gingerbread men (and one woman Josh had corrected me on that) standing outside one looked like his dad with blonde hair and green eyes with a plaid shirt made out of licorice and a pair of blue trousers and my one had the brown hair but unlike the one in the bakery where it stopped and curled at the shoulders, mine went over them ever so slightly- Josh had iced a jumper with a christmas type of pattern with what looked like a snowflake in middle but I couldn’t tell as I made the icing a little too runny at that point matched with a blue skirt (I would have preferred jeans but this wasn’t my design this was Josh’s).
I decided to decorate Josh’s gingerbread replica with blonde hair and green dots of icing for eyes with a green filled shirt and a pair of blue trousers and a big wide smile made with the last bit of red icing left.
We had half an hour till Finn returned home so we quickly cleaned up and put the gingerbread house on the windowsill to make it similar to the display at the bakery and silently smiled at our creation till he returned…
As soon as the door opened Josh ran to Finn with a big smile on his face and shouted “Daddy!” at the top of his lungs and Finnick picked him up and hugged him I soon went over to join them both, in which me and Josh were both kissed on the forehead.
“What did you guys do today?” He asked as the door closed softly
“Not much… But something did come for you today!” I said winking at josh who had jumped down and started to drag his father to the windowsill with me following suit
“Ta-dah! Look what we and Mummy made for you.” he said waving his arms in direction towards the baked good.
He went over to it to look at it closely and once he realised what it was he smiled and said “No way… This is way better than the one at the bakery like the windows are amazing and I like the way you done our eyes!” he said starting to jump up and down.
“I’m glad you like it Dad however it seems a bit odd with three people instead of four.” Josh said looking to both me and Finnick in which we gave each over a nod of understanding in which Finnick said “We’ll see but can we eat that gingerbread house!” He said starting to pick up his gingerbread replica and handing me a piece of his leg.
And Well the gingerbread was hard but had a soft kick to it… it really was delicious.
#Odesta#finnick odair#annie cresta#baby odair#thg#christmas#christmas fic#fanfiction#my writing#oneshot#gingerbread#finnick is alive#fannie#annick#crestdair#crestadair#finnie
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How to master your day like a billionaire
Every single day we each get 86,400 seconds and what we decide to use those seconds for literally determines our entire lives.
So how do we use our time to become really productive, without just becoming busy fools, without procrastinating and without drifting aimlessly?
What does it take to become as productive and successful as people like Bill Gates and Sara Blakely?
In this post, I’m going to share with you some amazing productivity hacks and some powerful tools so that you can become your most focused and productive self.
HOW DO WE MAKE THE MOST OF OUR TIME?
When we have big dreams and are striving to build really successful businesses, it’s essential that we’re really strategic and intentional about how we’re spending our time.
The problem a lot of people face is that they don’t understand how to actually manage their schedules in a way that is effective.
How do we avoid cramming so much in that we feel totally overwhelmed?
How do we know what we should be prioritising?
THE BIGGEST CULPRIT BEHIND TIME-WASTING
The biggest reason people don’t make the most of their time is because they don’t have total clarity around what they’re actually trying to achieve and what it is they need to do.
As Bill Gates once said…
Time is our most precious commodity. Money can’t buy any more of it.
We all have the same amount of time, so the clearer you get on what you want to make happen with your time, the more likely it is that you’re going to become super productive.
HOW SARA BLAKELY MANIFESTED CLARITY INTO HER LIFE
So if you’re stuck in a place where you know you want to create more success, but you’re just lacking clarity, I want to share this tip with you from Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx:
Sara said that she used her manifesting skills to figure out how to get clarity around what she was going to make happen in her life. She wrote in her journal that she was going to create a product, sell it to millions of people and that it was going to be something meant to make people feel good.
And whilst she didn’t know the exact steps to getting there, she trusted that somehow the universe was going to deliver an idea to her. Two years later the idea arrived and Spanx was born. Since then Spanx has grown into a billion-dollar business.
If you’re in a phase right now where you feel like your focus and thoughts are all over the place:
Open yourself up to finding clarity.
Don’t be scared to ask the universe for help!
Write down what it is that you want to achieve.
You don’t have to have the perfect picture or the exact idea, you just have to have clarity around what it is that you want to make happen in your life and the direction you want to be heading in.
Trust that somehow, the universe is going to give you the clarity you need to get to where you want.
This is an exercise I do all the time and it truly is powerful! A lot can happen when you open yourself up to finding that clarity and once you do, your life will start moving in that direction and you will be able to make so much more of your time.
IMPROVING YOUR DAY-TO-DAY PRODUCTIVITY WITH TIME-TRACKING
When you’re trying to figure out how to improve something, you need to look at where you’re at right now and create awareness. The same goes for improving your day-to-day productivity.
It’s completely normal to fall off track and to go through periods where productivity is waning. There are times when I feel like I’m not getting anything done, where things feel messy and overwhelming.
This is when I like to track my time so that I can get a clearer idea of exactly how I’m spending my days.
Time-tracking is a really powerful exercise that can shift your mindset and make you really aware of exactly where your time is being used (or wasted).
So how do you track your time?
It’s as simple as writing down everything you do in a day on a piece of paper, from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep.
Take note of the amount of time you’re spending doing everything and anything throughout the day: From preparing and eating breakfast, to the calls you have, to the moments of time when you just do nothing and even when you’re doing productive work.
Be as detailed as you can and track everything over the course of a few days.
Set up a reminder in your phone to go off every hour to prompt you to look back and record what you have been doing in the past hour and then just write it down.
Stick with this exercise for a few days and it will be a real eye-opener that will help you get clear on where your time is actually being spent.
GETTING CLEAR ON CORE ACTIVITIES AND PRIORITIES
When we’re building a business, there are so many different areas we need to focus on.
From creating products and services, to marketing them, managing business operations, building a team, staying on top of admin and the list goes on. It’s a lot to think about!
A really helpful exercise is to categorize the core areas that you need to focus on.
For example: It might be that content creation, marketing and visibility, calls, admin, operations and finance are core areas of your business activities.
If you think about your business right now, what are the categories of work that you regularly have to spend time doing? Sit down and take some time to figure out what these categories are.
Look at what you need to do on a daily, weekly, monthly basis – what tasks have you got going on? Make a list of all the regular daily, weekly and monthly actions you can think of.
Once you have done that, look at what categories those tasks fall under so you can start categorising individual tasks into similar groups and then use those categories to block out dedicated time.
The next step is to break everything down. You’ve got your recurring tasks figured out, but then you’ve also got to look at what projects you’ve got going on. Ask yourself what your main priorities are right now. Think about how you can break down that project so that you can bring it to life within your schedule.
Bill Gates talks about how he blocks his time and how disciplined he is with his time. He allocates every minute of the day to something, even if it is just 5 minutes of his day to one particular task.
If it’s scheduled in, it will get done.
THE IMPORTANCE OF SCHEDULING IN PRIORITIES
Every single one of us has priorities and each business will have different priorities of its own, so we have to get clear on what those priorities are.
As entrepreneurs, this often depends on what season of business we’re in, but for most of us, visibility is absolutely a core priority.
We have to constantly work on how we’re getting ourselves and our businesses out there, how we’re getting more people to discover us, to want to become fans, subscribers and customers.
This, for me, is always a main priority, so a large chunk of my time every week is dedicated to visibility and I make sure that it’s planned into my calendar.
I know that when I fail to schedule my priorities, the days go by, distractions come up all the time and I risk forgetting to focus on my core activities, such as visibility. This would get missed and I would then not be able to have the impact I can have if my focus goes to that.
So make sure you’re identifying what you really need to focus on and prioritise and how you’re going to break that down into chunks of time that you can set into your calendar so that you can actually work on it and get it done.
Take some time to map it all out.
I personally find it helpful to get everything out of my head and onto it a big piece of paper and once I’ve done that, I transfer it into my Google Calendar so that I can clearly see those blocks of time allocated to core activities and priorities.
CREATING A WEEKLY PLAN
I also use a daily planner, the Carrie and Co Perfectly Planned Planner
, so that every day I know what I need to tick off my to-do list.
Every Sunday (you can do this on any day that suits you), I sit down and plan out my week. I look at what my schedule looks like, I look at my priorities and my core activities and figure out what time blocks I need to allocate.
I go through Monday to Friday and make a plan for each day so that I wake up every morning knowing exactly what I have to do to make my goals happen.
It might not always be really detailed, but at least it shows me what I should be doing in each time frame.
It doesn’t have to be really specific, but every week you need to make that plan for yourself so that you have clarity around how you’re going to make the most of your time that week.
DON’T PLAN EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY!
Just as important as planning is also NOT planning.
Remember to leave some wiggle room for yourself because none of us are perfectly productive all the time. Remember that you’re not a robot!
I sometimes get to a point where I pull my schedule together but it doesn’t inspire me and I just want to be creative and let inspiration strike.
It’s totally fine to have times like that and to change it up and we have to do what works best for us.
Personally, I know that there are periods of the year where I’m in more of a creative mode and then there are other times when I know I have to get a lot done and it’s imperative that I get organised and disciplined with my time.
Give yourself permission for this not to be perfect and rigid 100% of the time.
For certain personalities, that rigidity and structure works, but I think that for most of us, we often reach a point where we need a break.
It’s good to factor in free time throughout the week so that it’s not all completely jam-packed. Leave room for unexpected things to come up, room for creativity, room to do the unplanned.
CREATING A DAILY PLAN
Aside from sitting down once a week and planning the week ahead, every single evening I sit down and plan out the next day and this is where the plan is really detailed.
I get clear on who I need to chase up or get in contact with and the tasks I need to complete.
This is where I use my physical planner to create that schedule so that I know exactly what needs to get done and at what time. This is what helps me to be super productive every day.
If you’re clear on what the big picture and vision is, you know what your priorities and recurring tasks are and you work your plan around where it is that you’re trying to get to, it makes life so much easier and more productive.
You’ll wake up every morning without that sinking feeling of being completely lost or clueless about what you need to be working on because everything has been mapped out and scheduled in.
PRODUCTIVITY TOOLS AND TIPS I LOVE
Here are some really great tools I use that helps me to be more productive:
I love an extension browser called Toby, which stores all the webpages you need to access on a daily basis. I use it to link to my email inbox, my calendar, the Members’ Club etc. Through Toby you can also organise and categorise, which helps me reduce the time I would otherwise waste chasing down links.
Another tip I love is something I once heard on a Tim Ferris podcast, which is to change the settings on your mouse and make it faster! This might sound like just a small thing but every little helps! Honing in on small details can save a big amount of time in the long run.
My favourite tool for managing my schedule is a Google Calendar. It’s so handy and you can access it across all your devices. It’s helpful for time blocking and colour-coding your activities so that your day is organised at a glance.
Another amazing time-saving tool I love is Lastpass, which helps you safely store and auto-fill passwords, rather than scrambling around every time you need to log into an account.
There you have it! Follow these steps and you will see a complete transformation in the use of your time and the results you’re getting out of every day, week and month.
With a little clarity, focus and some strategic planning, you can achieve so much more than just winging it day after day. Tasks will get ticked off, projects will get completed and goals will get accomplished. It’s truly amazing how far you can get when you’re intentional about how you’re using your time!
I would love you to leave me a comment and let me know what your favourite productivity tips and tools are that you use in your business to help you get the most out of your time!
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of pianos and playstations 1/2
A gamer is introduced to a cute musician's Youtube channel. All the gamer does is send the musician a message, letting him know he likes his videos. After that, the gamer plans to get on with his life; he wouldn't contact the musician again. Then he receives a reply.
it’s ya girl back with another 2min fic. this time it’s a youtube au, something i’ve always wanted to write. enjoy~
alternatively, click to read on aff
The atmosphere in the apartment was still. To an outsider, it would have seemed empty, not a single person currently occupying the house. However, this misconception was betrayed by the sound of faint music resonating from the living room.
Taemin drifted his fingers across the ivory keys delicately, sounding note after note, the sweet melody filling the air. He knew the tune off by heart; he didn’t need to think about what he was doing, his fingers were moving purely through muscle memory as he played the piece. He was lost in the music, but before he knew it his digits were playing the final notes, and he came to a slow but sure stop.
The boy turned his head, smiling into the lens of the camera across from him. “Thanks for watching, guys,” he said, shifting his body to angle himself slightly more towards the camera. “If you have any music requests, let me know in the comment section. See you in the next video.”
After the words had left his mouth, Taemin stood up, walking over to the camera and stopping the recording. He switched off his filming lights, packing away the camera and tripod as he waited for the lightbulbs to cool down. He knew exactly what he was doing, this was routine. He’d made almost a hundred videos and he’d only burned himself, like, seven times. Which was pretty good going, he thought.
Taemin placed his equipment in the corner of the living room, turning the memory card from the camera over in his hands as he made his way over to the faux leather couch, dropping down onto it and picking up the laptop from the coffee table. He imported the newly created video files to his hard drive, before opening them up in his editing software and getting to work. He felt quite experienced with Youtube now, and he knew that it was better to begin editing as soon as possible after filming, or else procrastination would become a real issue. It had taken him around a year to realise that.
Taemin started Youtube on a whim, four years ago. He’d been practicing a new piece, a recital of a song of which he’d just nailed down the last few notes. He had received a camera from his parents that year for his seventeenth birthday; he’d been interested in filming from a young age. He had been planning to use the camera to document trips with his friends, or for the creation of short fiction films. But seeing the camera in his peripheral vision as he was practicing, gave him an idea. And then, what started out as a simple recording to check his own progression of piano-playing skills, turned into an unedited upload to Youtube, which then turned into twenty subscribers overnight.
However, Taemin wasn’t sure why he decided to make his music public. He had never been an attention seeker, quite the opposite. But he was proud of what he’d learned, and before he knew it he was sharing that pride with… well, five hundred people in one night, according to his view count. He’d even received a few of comments under his video, praising his skill.
From there, Taemin had started to upload more frequently. First, around once a month, then a few times a month, until he reached his current stage, uploading a new video twice a week. He didn’t just sit at the piano in his videos. Somewhere along the line, around the fifty thousand subscribers mark, he’d become interested in recording his activities and filming small weekly vlogs. Taemin didn’t really think his life was that compelling, his vlogs mainly consisted of him talking about his day, or talking about music, or featuring his friends in the rare chances Taemin got to see them. But, they brought in new viewers, so much so that after four years, Taemin was approaching the one and a half million subscribers mark which… completely blew his mind. He was impressing a lot of people, it seemed. This meant he also had a lot of people he had to keep impressing.
The recitals were easy. He had to learn the piece well, of course, but when it came to filming, all he had to do was play the right notes at the right time with the right passion. And the editing was a breeze. He just had to cut together the introduction, the footage of the recital, and then the outro. That was it, and his viewers loved it. The vlogging days were more difficult. Taemin only uploaded vlogs once per week, but they took a lot more work. It wasn’t worth thinking about the amount of hours he’d spent editing together those twenty minute videos. They were worth it, he had fun filming them, and he got a good amount of views on each of his uploads, but it got quite tedious at times. Especially when he was snowed under with college work, whether it was an essay on music theory or a practical project for assessment. But he never failed to upload according to schedule. He had made a promise to himself that there would be a new vlog every Monday, and a new recital every Friday, without fail.
So, it was according to his usual routine when he ended up making this newly filmed video public on his channel a couple of hours later.
____MINHO P.O.V____
“No, no, no!”
“What?”
Minho ignored the question, clicking frantically on his editing software with wide eyes. Please, don’t crash, don’t crash…
Application not responding. Click OK to force quit.
Minho let out a loud whine, his head hitting the desk as he, for all intents and purposes, pretty much gave up on life.
“Did you lose it?” Jaewoon’s voice sounded from the laptop speakers. Jaewoon had been editing videos long enough to know the response to a software crash.
“Do you mean my work or my sanity?” Minho groaned, his voice muffled by the current placement of his head on the desk. “The answer is yes to both.”
“How much?”
“The last three hours, at least,” Minho replied, lifting his head slowly off his desk to look at Jaewoon in the corner of the laptop screen. “I’d have remembered to save my progress if I hadn’t been talking to you!”
“You must be the only person in the world who doesn’t yet own an application which saves your work automatically. I know what I’m getting you for Christmas.”
“Cool. Until then I’ll just cry,” Minho mumbled, resting his head on his hand as he reopened the software. Maybe the universe would be kind to him and somehow, his progress would appear before his eyes…
Nope. The universe was being an asshole, as usual.
It wasn’t a huge deal. It had only been a few hours. He hadn’t lost everything; he had managed to save a rough cut of the funniest moments of the gameplay. But, to go through the dreary re-editing of something he’d already completed just a few minutes earlier… oh, well. Looking on the bright side, he now had the chance to make the video even better than it would have been.
According to his schedule, this video had to be uploaded by the end of the night. Today was his FIFA gameplay day. But even if the software hadn’t have crashed, Minho had started editing this video later than he should have. His brother had come to visit after being away at university, so of course, Minho had been spending time with him, putting his Youtube commitments on the back burner for a couple of days. In fact, he had recorded this gameplay with Minseok. His subscribers always enjoyed when he played with others, whether it be his friends or collaborations with other Youtubers.
Ideally, this video should have been edited and completed the day before. Minho always gave himself a day in advance to finish the video in case… well, in case something happened and he lost his progress. At least the memory card hadn’t corrupted, which would cause him to lose the actual footage. That had only happened to him once before, but it was not a great time.
It suddenly registered in Minho’s brain that Jaewoon was talking.
“…He’s really good, you should check out his channel.”
Minho looked up at his friend in the corner of his computer screen. “What? Who?”
Jaewoon rolled his eyes. “Should’ve known you weren’t listening. Lee Taemin. He’s got a music channel, he does covers of songs and anime OSTs and stuff. He’s good.”
“Oh,” Minho replied. He’d never really paid attention to the sides of Youtube outside of gaming. “Does he sing?”
“Dunno,” Jaewoon shrugged. “In the videos I’ve seen he’s just playing a piano. And maybe doing a vlog or something. He’s talented though.”
“I’ll check him out,” Minho shrugged. “After I get this video done.”
____TAEMIN P.O.V____
Taemin hummed softly to himself as he scrolled through Twitter, absentmindedly glancing through his timeline and tweets from subscribers. He’d only just gotten the hang of Twitter. He’d never been very good with technology to begin with, so becoming a relatively successful channel provided him with a massive learning curve - he wanted to communicate with his viewers somehow, and Twitter seemed to be the best way to do it. Before his channel, he’d never used Twitter in his life. He hadn’t done many things before he started Youtube.
Taemin brought up his private message inbox, as he usually did when he went on Twitter. He received private messages a few times a day from subscribers, although most people chose to tweet publicly to him. Taemin tried his best to keep up with reading the private messages, but he was only human. He couldn’t be checking the inbox constantly. And because it’d been a few days since he last had a look, he probably had… maybe a hundred messages he hadn’t yet opened. Usually he picked the most interesting ones to read, but they were mostly from viewers just wanting to chat with him.
He had intended on scrolling through the unopened messages, however the very first message caught his eye. Specifically, the icon of the sender. It was small, taking up maybe a square centimetre of Taemin’s laptop screen. But that didn’t change the fact that the face in the icon was a… very cute face. Taemin’s eyes darted to the time he’d received the message from this stranger - only a few minutes earlier. Meaning the sender was probably still online. So he’d see Taemin’s reply immediately.
Oh. He should probably read the message first. That’d be a good start.
Choi Minho (@MinhoPlaysGames)
‘Hello! I just wanted to say I really enjoy your covers, especially the medley of the One Piece openings. One Piece is one of my favourite animes and you really did the soundtrack justice :)’
Taemin scanned the text, a small smile spreading across his lips as he took in the message. He always smiled at complimentary words; he never stopped being grateful for the praise people had for his passion.
Ignoring messages wasn’t something Taemin set out to do. He usually tried to at least say thank you to as many people as he could. But that was it. He never really delved further into who these people were. But something made this time different, and suddenly Taemin had clicked on Minho’s username, the guy’s twitter profile loading onto his screen.
The first thing Taemin noticed was that Minho was obviously very interested in sports. His header image was of a soccer team Taemin didn’t recognise, and the first few retweets on Minho’s profile were updates from basketball, soccer… and so on.
The second thing Taemin noticed was the link to a Youtube channel in Minho’s description. Was this guy a Youtuber too? If so, it wasn’t that difficult to guess what his content would be. No doubt sports would be involved.
Clicking the link, Taemin quickly saw that he was right. A gaming channel, with a subscriber count of 700,704. FIFA, NBA, countless other games appeared in the thumbnails of Minho’s videos. Taemin couldn’t say he was familiar with most of them. He hadn’t played any video games for quite a few years, especially since he’d started college. But it wouldn’t hurt to check out some of Minho’s content.
Taemin had set about ten minutes aside to check out the most popular of Minho’s videos. Ten minutes became fifteen, thirty… by the time Taemin’s eyes drifted to the clock in the corner of his screen, he’d been watching Minho for an hour and a half. The guy was just so funny. Taemin had enjoyed the actual gameplay somewhat; he’d always enjoyed playing FIFA when he was younger, but what kept him around was Minho’s personality. The guy seemed extremely sweet towards his viewers, he’d greet them and thank them for watching sincerely, and from the short look at the comment section Minho also replied to a lot of them. He was also very animated in his videos, he was lively and excitable and upbeat, so Taemin had expected the guy to be the type to take defeat well. He was soon proved wrong, when Minho missed a free kick that would give his team the win. Taemin watched as Minho’s eyes widened and he started shouting at the game. It wasn’t off-putting in any way, in fact it was absolutely hilarious.
Taemin ended up clicking the little red button below one of Minho’s videos, watching as ‘Subscribe’ became ‘Subscribed’. He almost decided to continue on with his day, when he remembered exactly how he’d found Minho’s channel. The message.
Taemin didn’t hesitate to click on the Twitter tab and begin typing out a reply to Minho.
‘Thanks! I love One Piece too, obviously ^_^ I found your channel link on your profile - your videos are great :)’
He almost left it there, but he had the urge to add something more… a proper conversation starter. Just… on the off chance that Minho would want to reply to him again.
‘I like your FIFA videos the most. I used to play it a lot with my brother before I went to college and sold my console, so you brought back memories. What’s your favourite game to play? ^_^’
Taemin stared at his message for a few moments, before sucking it up and hitting ‘send’.
Then he started doubting himself. Would Minho want to talk to him? Did he write too much? Oh, well. Nothing he could do about it now. Something he could be doing now, is getting on with that essay…
____MINHO P.O.V____
“Excuse me?”
Minho had just set a can of soup on the shelf in front of him when he heard the voice. He turned with a smile, being met with an elderly lady pushing her shopping cart.
The lady spoke again. “Where can I find the Red Pepper Paste?”
Minho quickly told her the aisle she was looking for, giving a short bow as she thanked him and followed his direction. Minho knew he had sent her to the right place. He’d been working at the supermarket for about a year, and since the beginning he’d had every row memorised. It wasn’t a small place; it was one of the largest markets this side of Seoul. Minho’s co-workers constantly voiced their awe at how quickly he’d learned the store’s content’s whereabouts, but all he’d done was begin to memorise each aisle the day he came in for his job interview. He wanted to do well, even before he was hired. It may not be the most important job in the world, but at least people could find what they were looking for a little quicker with Minho around.
He hadn’t expected to work in a job like this, especially after graduating university with honours. But the job market wasn’t great, especially in the area Minho was interested in. It was difficult to find a job in sports management. So, he had to earn a living somehow.
If anyone had looked at Minho’s Youtube channel, and seen the revenue of his videos, they would probably tell him that he could earn enough to live just from uploading. And Minho had considered the possibility. But he had more than enough time to get outside and work. He didn’t see Youtube as his job, even with the money cashing into his bank each month. It was a hobby. And Minho thought it was important to keep the two concepts separate. The last thing he wanted was for Youtube to become his only source of income, and feeling pressure and resentment when it came to uploading. Youtube was fun. He loved playing games, he loved interacting with his viewers, and he loved that he’d met some of his best friends through the platform.
Speaking of friends, Minho was snapped out of his thoughts as he heard an alert on his phone. He usually had his phone turned on silent while he worked his shifts, but today he must have forgotten.
He pulled out his phone quickly, just to check who had contacted him. Most likely, it would be Jaewoon or Gunho. He’d met the pair online a few months previous, what with them both being gaming channels with a similar amount of subscribers to Minho. Jaewoon lived in Busan, Gunho in Daegu, but the two had become his best friends in a very short amount of time. Minho had many friends, people who he’d kept in contact with from school and college, and they were all precious to him. But he treasured Jaewoon and Gunho the most.
Therefore, Minho was shocked to see that the contact had not only come from neither of his best friends, but nor from anyone he knew. It was his Twitter app on his phone, alerting him to a new message he’d received. The notification only showed the username and the first few words of the message.
‘Twitter: New private message from Pianotaem: Thanks! I found your…’
It took a second to click, for Minho to remember who exactly ‘Pianotaem’ was. Then his mind drifted back to earlier that day when he’d spent at least half an hour making his way through a playlist of Taemin’s piano covers, when his fingers had hesitantly typed out a message to the boy who had enthralled Minho with his music.
The urge to check what Taemin had said in response was huge, bigger than Minho had expected. It took all of his self-control to drop the phone back in his pocket, but he was working. He had a job to do, a job that coincidentally did not allow mobile phones during shifts.
Which meant, of course, that the moment Minho had helped his final customer of the day, the clock striking ten o’clock to mark the end of his hours, the man once again had the phone in his hand, quickly eyeing the notification before swiping the screen, entering his passcode and waiting for Taemin’s message to appear.
It shocked Minho that he was so eager to see what the boy had said to him. Shocked that he was this excited over a reply. It wasn’t like he couldn’t think about anything else during his shift, but every once in a while his mind would once again land on the memory of the first four words of that message, and Minho had passed the quieter moments by trying to guess the end of the sentence. Taemin had found his… videos? Home address? Nudes?
He was right the first time, Minho discovered when the message thread opened, displaying the few exchanges between the pair. Taemin had not only read his messaged, but he’d been interested enough to watch Minho’s videos and reply back to him. Did this guy do this with all the viewers who contacted him? Minho had a lot to learn, if so.
Minho said goodbye to his co-workers and boss before exiting the store, focusing on the screen intensely as he walked, preparing a reply to Taemin. He could have waited to reply until he was in the comfort of his home, but he had always been a fast replier. Gunho had joked that Minho must spend twenty four hours a day watching his phone, with how quickly he was able to answer a call, or respond to a text. Anyway, something about Taemin’s message was so endearing that Minho couldn’t bear to see it unanswered. Maybe it was the cute emoticons.
‘The FIFA games are my favourite,’ Minho typed, glancing up to check for oncoming vehicles as he crossed the road. ‘I started my channel with them :) How long have you been playing the piano?’
He ended the message with a question, just as Taemin had done previously. This boy seemed nice, and Minho wanted to make sure he had incentive to answer. Just on the off chance that Taemin would want to reply to him again.
The walk from Minho’s workplace to his home was about fifteen minutes long. The amount of minutes between Minho pressing ‘send’ on his message to Taemin, and hearing the alert of a reply, was about sixteen. As he closed his apartment door behind him, Minho opened up the private message thread once more, a small smile on his face as he absently dropped his keys in the dish by the entrance and turned his full attention to his phone.
‘Fifteen years. I’m twenty-one now, started when I was six. I’d hear my mother playing a lot and I wanted to learn. Have you been playing video games that long? :P’
Minho’s attention stayed in the first half of the message. He raised his eyebrows slightly and exhaled, impressed at Taemin’s dedication to the instrument. He knew the boy had to have been playing for a good few years, for his performance to be as seamless and effortless as it was, but fifteen years was a hell of a long time. He hadn’t even been playing soccer that long. Or video games, as Taemin had asked.
‘No,’ Minho typed, collapsing onto his couch lengthways and throwing his feet up onto the cushions. ‘You beat me by about five years on the video game front. As for playing soccer, you only beat me by three.’
Minho could barely return the phone to its original position on the couch before another alert came through.
‘I win :)’
Minho was surprised to see a reply so quickly, and chuckled to himself softly as he read it. He wasn’t going to give up the competition, which is what this had somehow turned into, that easily.
‘But since you’re twenty one years old, and I’m twenty three, I’ve been breathing for two years longer than you, so I claim that title.’
He sent the message and dropped his phone onto the cushions next to him, picking up the television remote and switching on the set, flicking through the channels before settling on some show about dog training. Minho family dog still lived with his parents, and he didn’t have time to look after one himself, so watching shows about puppies always made him feel happy.
It was about an hour before Minho noticed that Taemin hadn’t replied yet. But it didn’t bother him… is what he would say if he’d wanted to lie. The previous reply had been almost immediate. Had Minho put Taemin off the conversation with the reveal of his competitive streak? He hoped not. Taemin seemed nice.
However, it wasn’t long before the notification alert sounded once more, filling Minho with hope that maybe he hadn’t made the situation awkward.
‘Jaewoonie: Coming online later? Wanna play Halo or something?’
Oh. False alarm. Minho quickly texted Jaewoon back with a confirmation, almost locking his phone when a new message alert appeared at the top of the screen. A message from Twitter.
‘Wow. King of breathing ^_^’
Minho found himself chuckling, honestly relieved to see Taemin’s name materialise on his phone. Maybe his joke hadn’t flopped like he had been so sure it had.
‘That’s me :),’ Minho responded. He paused for a moment, trying to think of another question to ask. In the end, he went with an obvious one, under their circumstances. ‘How long have you been on Youtube?’
____TAEMIN P.O.V____
Over the next month, each day had Taemin waking up and feeling like the sun was shining brighter and brighter. Not in the way that made Taemin groan and bury his face in the pillow to escape the light, but in the way that gave him energy, as if he were absorbing whatever excitement the world was radiating. Coincidentally, these feelings were correlated with Taemin’s conversations with Minho. Rather than Twitter, the two had added each other on Facebook in favour of using the messaging system there. Trying to find each other’s Twitter threads through the many private messages from fans had become a task to say the least. And that wasn’t the only thing that had changed since their first contact. Compared to the pair at first exchanging a small handful of messages each day, Taemin didn’t go half an hour without a message alert from his friend. At this point, Minho was the friend Taemin spoke to the most. Not that Taemin didn’t have his own tight-knit group of friends. He just didn’t see them very often. He often messaged Jisun and Chansung, but having two friends studying abroad was tough. The time differences between Seoul, Paris and New York weren’t the easiest to work around. His two other best friends were still in South Korea, but without Taemin even realising it, they had slowly reached the age where life takes over; where you suddenly stop and notice that it’s been months since you’ve seen the most important people in your life.
College had given Taemin acquaintances, especially after his Youtube success became public knowledge. That was it though, acquaintances. No one Taemin clicked with, not in the way he had with his best friends. Not in the way he had with Minho.
Because somehow, at this point the pair had exchanged hundreds of messages back and forth, talking about nothing and everything. Taemin had learned big things about his friend, like where Minho was raised, what his hobbies were, how he’d grown up in competition with his brother, how his dog had almost died after being hit by a car when Minho was nine. He’d also learned small things, tiny things, like that one ex-lecturer Minho had whom he still hated to this day, and how Park Jisung, one of Minho’s favourite soccer players, had favourited a congratulatory tweet Minho had sent him for one of his matches.
Taemin had told Minho things about him too, from his inspiration to begin his Youtube channel, to his career goals in music, to how after almost two years living alone he still can’t cook up an edible meal and tries not to rely too much on takeout.
Trust didn’t come to Taemin easily; at least it hadn’t, before last month. But Minho was easy to talk to, he was curious and caring and positive, a safe place for Taemin to turn to when his college work was too difficult, or when he was missing his dogs, or when he just needed to talk to someone.
And yet, the two had never spoken face-to-face. Taemin had been tempted, so tempted, to ask Minho for his Skype account. He was bored of staring at boxed, worded replies from his friend. But would Minho want to speak to him on a more personal platform? Or was the continuing grey and blue message thread enough for him?
One Wednesday morning, Taemin decided, as he made his way to the kitchen to prepare his cereal, that he was being fucking stupid. He would be asking Minho for a better way to communicate with him, not offering him to move in.
So, a short while later, Taemin found himself opening Facebook as he perched on a chair, his so-far untouched bowl of cereal placed next to his laptop on the table. He entered the site, noticing that he had one unread message from Minho. That wasn’t unusual, the two had ongoing conversations and would often exchange messages until one of them fell asleep, replying in the morning when they woke up. Last night, it had been Taemin who had succumbed to sleep the fastest.
Taemin read Minho’s message as he lifted the filled breakfast spoon to his mouth, crunching on his cereal as he moved his fingers to the keyboard, mapping out a reply in his head. The conversation had run on from the previous night; this conversation was based around Minho’s holiday in Thailand a couple of years ago. Taemin had barely even left Korea, so he had been fascinated by Minho’s account of the vacation. However, now would be the time Taemin forced himself to change the subject. He typed a sentence to wrap up the Thailand topic, just to ensure Minho knew Taemin cared about what he had said, before staring down at his hands as he considered what to write next.
Anyway, I
This is off topic but
You can say no but
Taemin shook his head at himself as he backspaced on each sentence opener, telling himself to stop being so fucking pathetic and typing his proper, final message. ‘Do you want to Skype with me?’
He pressed enter before he could stop himself, sitting back. Minho probably wasn’t awake yet, and wouldn’t reply for a while. Was that a good or bad thing?
Unable to decide his position on the matter, Taemin simply resumed his breakfast, scrolling mindlessly through his news feed as he tried to keep his eyes off the little message tab with Minho’s name on it.
It was about seven mouthfuls of cereal before Taemin heard the message notification, not that he was counting. Okay, so the other boy was awake earlier than Taemin had expected.
Taemin opened the tab, running his eyes over the reply he had received.
‘Sure, I should have asked you sooner. What’s your username? :)’
____MINHO P.O.V____
Minho sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, his eyes on his phone as he received a new message, which stated Taemin’s answer to the question he’d asked. He had only woken up a couple of minutes previous, and on empty days like this, where his shift didn’t start until that evening, he’d usually spend at least half an hour lounging around in bed before even thinking about getting up. But Taemin’s message, read with bleary eyes, woke him up quicker than any alarm clock could.
He probably should have expected it. Both boys had mentioned Skype to each other before, they both knew the other used it. So it made sense that they would eventually move from text messaging to a more… friendlier way of communication. But they hadn’t even spoken on the phone before. Minho had presumed Taemin was too busy to dedicate his time to face-to-face conversation. Taemin had told him how busy college was getting, and how he was trying to balance his time between vlogging and learning new recitals. It made Minho incredibly happy that Taemin would set aside time to talk to him properly.
Before he knew it, Minho was at his desk, typing Taemin’s username into Skype on his laptop and adding him as a contact. He was almost buzzing with excitement, finally he’d get to speak face-to-face with the boy he hadn’t known for very long, but whom had quickly become one of his most cherished friends.
Minho’s phone lit up, showing a notification from Facebook; he’d received another message from Taemin.
‘Will accept you later so we can chat, I’ve gotta head to class now. Have a good day ^^’
A sigh escaped Minho. That’s right, just because he had nothing to do today doesn’t mean Taemin didn’t. It would be a few hours before he would be able to talk to his friend.
Those few hours passed unexpectedly quickly. Minho spent the time filming a FIFA video. He was slightly ahead of his filming schedule, this one didn’t have to be completed for a few days, but what was the harm in getting it done early?
After a couple of hours, Minho headed down to the gym to fit in a quick workout. From what he’d gathered from Taemin’s class schedules, Fridays meant that Taemin would arrive back home at around four o’clock. Right now, it was just gone one. So, Minho would spend two hours at the gym, giving him time to shower, head home and make himself presentable. He certainly didn’t want Taemin’s first impression of him to be a scruffy, sweaty one.
Sure enough, a few hours later at ten minutes past four, Minho looked towards his desk from his place on the bed as a Skype notification sounded out of his laptop, alerting Minho to the fact that Taemin had accepted his friend request. Minho had been focused on the small television that was perched on the chest of drawers facing his bed, catching up with the scores of an American soccer match which had taken place in the early hours of the morning. But all of that was forgotten when he received confirmation that Taemin was online. Well, maybe not all of it. Minho made a mental note to catch up on the highlights of the match at a later time.
Minho sat down in front of his open laptop, smiling as he saw a new tab on his Skype window: ‘Lee Taemin has accepted your friend request’. This was it, this is what Minho had been waiting for for days. Weeks, even.
He waited a few more moments. Just to see if Taemin would begin the conversation first. Then he waited again. Longer, until the clock in the corner of the laptop screen marked five minutes since he had sat down. But, maybe Taemin was waiting, too.
Minho swallowed, deciding to bite the bullet as he opened a conversation with Taemin.
‘Hi :) Do you want to chat now or are you busy?’
Almost immediately, ‘Taemin is typing…’ appeared just above the chat box.
‘Yeah :)’
‘I mean, yeah I want to chat ^^’
A smile drew itself from Minho’s lips, his heartbeat picking up as he moved his cursor to the top of the screen, clicking the video call button. He was so damn nervous. Why? He was in front of a camera every week, to every viewer of his live streams. This was just one person.
He counted six seconds before the ring tone ended as Taemin accepted, and the video call opened up.
On Minho’s screen, appeared the image of Taemin, a soft smile blessing his features as he sat on a brown couch, his eyes seemingly focused on his own screen. He looked just like his selfies, and of course just like how he appeared in his videos, but seeing Taemin now was just… surreal. He was seeing Minho right now, just as Minho was seeing him, and suddenly Minho felt very self conscious about his appearance. Taemin really was good looking.
“Hi,” Taemin smiled. “Fuck, this is weird. And awesome.”
Minho laughed softly, absentmindedly straightening out his shirt. “Yeah… how are you?”
Taemin shrugged, the bright smile still not leaving his face. “College was tiring, but I’ve had a good day… I’ve been excited since I got your reply this morning.”
“Me, too,” Minho replied, adjusting his laptop a little closer to himself. “I guess… I thought it was time for us to have a proper conversation.”
“So our conversations so far haven’t been good enough?” Taemin asked.
“No - that’s not what I meant,” Minho said, pausing when Taemin laughed.
“I’m kidding, Minho,” the boy smiled, and Minho’s mood lifted even further at the sound of Taemin saying his name. It just made this more real. “What did you do today?”
Minho recited his day’s activities to Taemin, from his video filming to his adventures at the gym.
“Do you work out often?” Taemin questioned, reaching to something off screen but keeping his eyes mostly on Minho.
“At least five times per week,” Minho nodded. Taemin did know a lot about him, but fitness schedules hadn’t really been brought up before. Which was strange, actually, since fitness was a big part of Minho’s life.
Taemin pulled his arm back, a cookie now in his hand as he looked at his screen for a second. “I wondered,” he murmured, before taking a bite of the snack.
“Could you tell?” Minho asked. He was quite proud of his body, and the idea of Taemin noticing it pleased him. Not that it was about Taemin, though. He liked everyone noticing it.
Taemin simply nodded, not offering any further means of confirmation as he chewed on the cookie.
“So, do you work out?” Minho asked Taemin. He honestly wasn’t sure what he thought. For someone of Taemin’s skinny build, the boy seemed to have quite broad shoulders. But Minho didn’t know whether to put that down to built up muscle mass or just Taemin’s natural shape.
“Ah, I don’t really commit to it,” Taemin answered. “A couple of times a week, maybe. Sometimes less. I spend most of my time playing music.”
Minho nodded. “Of course. Are you learning anything new?”
“A few pieces. I’m working on my own compositions, too,” Taemin smiled, suddenly a hint of shyness in his voice.
“Really? That’s great,” Minho grinned. He’d already seen Taemin’s piano skills, and to think he was putting them to use with his own creations was a joyous thought. Of course, he wouldn’t ask to hear Taemin’s pieces. Not yet, anyway. Not until Taemin was ready, and the one to offer.
“They’re nothing special, but I’m proud of them,” Taemin continued, his eyes flickering to gaze into his webcam as he spoke. Much like Minho, through filming youtube videos the boy seemed to have become used to looking into the lens while talking, rather than becoming distracted by the video feed on his screen.
Although, Minho was unsure how to look away from his friend. Something about Taemin was so… interesting to watch. His mannerisms were nothing short of adorable but there was a confidence in the way he carried himself. Not conceitedness, for the boy seemed, in general, like a very modest person. But yes, there was confidence there that Minho quickly began to admire.
Between them, there was never a lull in conversation. Never an awkward moment, just as there hadn’t been during their text based communication. Minho felt so comfortable talking to Taemin. They spoke a bit about sports, a bit about Taemin’s college and Minho’s job, what sorry excuse for food that Taemin would be concocting up for dinner that night.
A short while later, Taemin quickly excused himself without much explanation and disappeared from frame, leaving Minho alone as he wondered what the boy was doing. Before he had much time to create possible scenarios in his head, Taemin re-appeared in front of him, holding his video camera.
“You’re filming?” Minho asked.
“Do you mind?” Taemin glanced up at Minho as he turned the equipment on. “It’s just for this week’s vlog. I’d like to include it, to show people I actually do have friends,” he chuckled softly, opening the viewfinder.
Minho laughed with him, feeling some warmth in his chest when Taemin referred to him as a friend out loud. “I don’t mind. Maybe if my viewers see it, they’ll realise I have friends, too.”
Taemin scoffed. “You play games with your friends all the time in your videos. Since my friends moved away, I’ve been making videos alone. So, you’ll be a nice addition.”
And with that, Taemin turned the camera to focus on himself, pressing record. “Hi, guys! Today’s a good day, because I’m talking on Skype to one of my friends for the first time. I know you’ve been wanting me to film with people again, so technically that’s what I’m doing. I’m sure this will make you very happy.”
He turned the camera to focus on the laptop screen. “Say hi!”
Minho didn’t quite know what to do except smile and wave awkwardly. “Hi, I’m Choi Minho. I make videos, too.”
Taemin turned the camera back to himself, rolling his eyes into the lens. “Shameless self promo.” He returned the focus to Minho. “Advertise yourself, then,” he grinned.
Minho smiled, shrugging. He’d never really explained his channel to anyone, not even his friends, he’d just waited for them to find it for themselves and see. “I do gaming videos and stuff. FIFA mostly, and I talk about sports news sometimes.”
“So, basically the exact opposite to my channel,” Taemin chuckled, keeping the camera focused on the laptop screen. Minho could see that he was still smiling behind the camera; the way his eyes were lit up was adorable. “I’ll put the link to Minho’s channel below in the description, in case any of you are interested in that. Or, if you just want to see who I associate with. I warn you, he does get very angry when he loses, it can be quite scarring,” he boy said, trying to sound serious but the edge in his voice giving him away.
Still, Minho objected to the boy’s words. “Hey, I don’t get angry!” he replied. “I just get annoyed when the game doesn’t do what I tell it to. Not my fault if the controller stops working properly…”
Taemin turned the camera back on himself. “It’s hilarious, you guys should should watch his ‘Manchester United vs. Real Madrid’ gameplay. He really loses it there.”
“I don’t lose it,” Minho protested, slightly amused by the whole situation but refusing to admit it. “You’re tarnishing the Choi name, Lee Taemin. What kind of impression are you giving of me to your subscribers? You’re meant to be making them like me.”
“Who said I wanted them to like you?” Taemin grinned as he looked at Minho through the laptop screen, the camera still on himself. “Also, since I’m letting you promote yourself, I think I deserve some sort of payment.”
“I’ll pay you in lessons on how to not be an ass,” Minho suggested, a smile hinting to break onto his face. An appropriate payment, indeed.
“I’m lovely,” Taemin teased. “Give this video a thumbs up if Minho’s the one who needs not-being-an-ass lessons,” he said into the camera.
“I hate you,” Minho murmured, before pausing. Despite this being the first time talking to Taemin physically, what he’d said was okay, right? Were they close enough for Taemin to not take his statement seriously?
Luckily, Taemin just laughed. “You love me. Really, though,” he looked into the lens of the camera, “his channel is pretty cool, and I like him, so you guys should like him, too,” he smiled.
Minho couldn’t help but smile then, a warm feeling rising in his chest at Taemin’s kind words. “That’s better,” he chuckled.
Taemin laughed. “I’ll check in with you later,” he said to the camera. “Bye.” He stopped recording, setting the camera down out of frame. “How are you going to pay me, then? Since we established those lessons are off the table.”
“I’ll think about it,” Minho said, with absolutely no intention of thinking about it.
“Good,” Taemin grinned.
____TAEMIN P.O.V____
The pair spent most of the evening talking to each other on Skype, but eventually, Taemin had to stop putting off his college work and actually do something, especially if he wanted to spend the weekend focusing on piano practice. So, he said goodbye to Minho at around nine thirty, five hours after they’d begun their Skype call, before beginning to work on his other commitments.
He worked a little slower than usual. His Skype call with Minho kept popping into his head. The other boy was so easy and fun to talk to. He had been slightly worried that despite, conversation flowing over text, they wouldn’t be been able to keep it up. But it seemed all his worries were unfounded. Minho was awesome, he was wonderful, and Taemin definitely wanted to speak to him again soon.
After finishing his work at around eleven, and vlogging the final part of his day, connected his camera to his laptop, beginning to transport the video files into his editing software. He wouldn’t have time to edit his vlog that night, but he could at least transport the video files so it was ready for tomorrow.
Therefore, the next day was spent filming a piano recital video, vlogging some of his Saturday activities, and continuing with college work. His vlogs were always set up become public each Sunday morning, so Taemin always made sure he had all his content filmed to be added into the video by Saturday afternoon, latest, so he could get them exported.
He didn’t manage to speak to Minho much that day. Minho’s job made sure of that. Today’s shift was from twelve in the morning until nine in the evening, his longest shift of the week. So, only at four, which Taemin guessed was Minho’s break, did Taemin receive any message from his friend. They had had a short conversation, but Taemin was left with a strangely hollow feeling when Minho announced his boss was calling him back in. He missed looking at Minho’s face while he spoke to him, wondering how he wasn’t a model with looks like that. But their Skype conversation was less than twenty four hours ago, and Taemin felt like a desperate loser.
It was reaching eleven when Taemin received a message alert, just as he was washing up his plate from dinner.
‘Hey, you busy?’
Taemin read the message and quickly texted back a ‘no’, before putting his cutlery away and heading into his bedroom.
‘Do you wanna talk? I’m exhausted and today wasn’t great’
Taemin’s heart sank at the thought of his friend being sad, sending a reply to Minho saying he’d sign into Skype. He felt flattered that Minho wanted to talk to him to be cheered up, but maybe Taemin wasn’t his first choice, and Minho’s other friends were just busy. He’d probably never know.
Nevertheless, soon he and Minho were face to face again, Taemin watching as Minho picked up his laptop, placing it on his bed and laying down in front of it. It was no joke, Minho really did look tired, visible dark bags below his large brown eyes. Taemin almost told him to just go to sleep, but if Minho wanted to chat then that’s what they’d do.
Minho told Taemin about his day, about what had happened at work. Taemin didn’t get all the details, but it was something to do with an incorrect delivery which Minho had ended up getting the blame for, since he had been in charge of stock checking and ordering. Minho was usually a star employee, but as he’d told Taemin, it was very easy to be placed in the boss’ bad books.
Naturally, Minho quickly asked to talk about something else, so Taemin rambled on about his own day, despite the uneventfulness of it. Minho seemed to appreciate it though, chiming in with his own comments once in a while, but mainly just listening.
It wasn’t long before Taemin noticed Minho’s eyes drooping closed, and he smiled. He really was so cute. “Go to sleep, Minho,” he said softly. “You need rest.”
“Mm,” Minho hummed in response, moving his arm to place his finger over the mousepad. “Yeah, I will. Night, Tae.”
Taemin froze at the nickname momentarily, before a sense of pleasure replaced the surprise. He could get used to that.
“Goodnight,” he smiled, watching as Minho ended the call before beginning to get ready for bed himself, Minho’s nickname swimming around in his mind as he did so.
____MINHO P.O.V____
Taemin had texted Minho the next morning, informing Minho that his weekly vlog had been uploaded. It took Minho a second to remember why Taemin had told him this - he already knew Taemin’s upload schedule pretty well, and anyway, he was subscribed to him. But then he remembered what was different about this one. Minho himself would be featured via Taemin’s laptop screen.
Naturally, Minho quickly headed to Youtube, wanting to check out the video. He remembered the exchange Taemin had filmed, but editing could do wonders to a situation, and Minho was curious.
So, a few minutes later, Minho was watching the video. Turns out, Taemin hadn’t really edited it at all. Just a few cuts here and there. And it was entertaining. Minho wasn’t as whiny has he’d recalled being. On the other hand, Taemin was just as much of an ass as Minho had remembered, but much like at the time of filming, he didn’t come across as rude. Minho struggled to find the word for what Taemin was. Endearing? Something like that.
Taking a delve into the comment section, it seemed that most people were thinking along the same lines as Minho. Most of the comments were about their Skype conversation. People thought it was cute, people thought Minho was cute, there were even people saying they’d want to see he and Taemin officially collaborate. Minho didn’t really know how that would work; their channels were so different. And they hadn’t even met in person.
Less than five minutes later, Minho received a text from the boy.
‘Did you watch it? ^_^ looks like you have some new fans’
‘Say goodbye to your subscribers, they’re mine now :P’
Minho could imagine Taemin’s scoff at that text as he sent it. It was less than a minute before he received a reply.
‘Wow I’m so scared~ I need to study now, have a good day ^_^’
‘You too Tae :)’
That was the second time Minho had used that nickname for his friend. The first time, the night before, was sort of an accident. Minho had been almost deliriously tired and the word had just left his mouth. But Taemin didn’t seem to mind. And Minho… liked calling him it. So, he figured he’d continue until Taemin told him to stop.
That night, the two were face to face on Skype again. This seemed to be becoming somewhat of a routine.
Their conversation was light, flittering around topics such as the best type of meat (Taemin was adamant it was steak, and Minho was fighting pork’s corner) and where they’d most like to visit in the world. So, Minho was shocked when Taemin suddenly looked serious.
“Minho, can I ask you something?” His tone was a lot shyer than it had been just a second ago.
It got Minho a bit scared. What did Taemin need to ask him that he couldn’t just say outright?
“Yeah, of course.”
“Did you see the comments on the vlog?”
Minho’s forehead twitched into a frown, unsure exactly what Taemin was referring to; there had a been a lot of comments. “You’re gonna need to be more specific than that.”
Taemin licked his lips, adjusting himself slightly in his seat. “Ah, well… a lot of people wanted us to make a video together. A proper one, I mean. Like, in person.”
“Oh,” Minho nodded. “Yeah, I saw… would you want to? Not just make a video but… would you want to meet me?”
“Of course!” Taemin replied, and Minho thought he saw the boy turn slightly red after his enthusiastic outburst. But the camera quality wasn’t great, rendering him unsure. Nevertheless, Taemin cleared his throat slightly, nodding. “Yeah. I know we haven’t been speaking for long, really, but yeah, I would. I mean, I know you’re not… some kind of predator or something. You’re you. You know what I mean? So… yeah. Would you? Want to meet me?”
“Yeah,” Minho said, unable to stop smiling due to Taemin’s cute reaction to Minho’s original question. “It would be great to meet you. Not just for making a video together… just in general.”
Taemin grinned at his laptop screen, nodding. “Awesome. When? Where? I’m busy with college for a few weeks but it’s summer break soon. I guess it’s up to you, you have a job and stuff.”
“Well, we don’t have to sort it out now, I’ll let you know,” Minho suggested.
Taemin nodded again. “Yeah, sure. Sorry, I’m just excited.”
Minho chuckled. “Me, too.”
“By the way,” Taemin started. “You know before? When I mentioned I was creating new pieces on the piano? Well, I finished one, and I’m not going to be filming it for a few weeks but… can I show you? So you can tell me if it’s shit or whatever.”
Minho’s eyes widened and a strong, unplaced feeling spread throughout his chest. He hadn't really thought Taemin would share his work with Minho, especially as the first person to hear it.
“That would be… really nice,” Minho confirmed, trying to control just how widely he was smiling. “I’d love to hear any of your - what I’m sure are definitely not shit - compositions.”
“Okay,” Taemin replied, smiling shyly. “Do you want to hear it now? I mean, I know the webcam sound quality isn’t that great, but I think it’d do the job well enough.”
Minho thought for a moment. He really, really wanted to hear Taemin’s work, but even more he wanted to hear it for the first time in the best quality he could.
“Actually, could we wait? If it’s okay, I’d like to hear it in person first. Whenever that might be,” Minho told Taemin. He hoped Taemin wouldn’t take any kind of offence at Minho wanting to wait.
“Oh,” came Taemin’s reply. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Well, he hadn’t seemed to take offence. “Honestly I think it’s one of my best compositions so far, but I don’t want to leave it too long, and get your hopes up too much,” he smiled. “So, we should meet soon, before you become convinced I’m the next Beethoven.”
Minho laughed softly. “Sounds good to me.”
____TAEMIN P.O.V____
As Taemin had mentioned to Minho, he was busy with college for the next few weeks. Very busy. His deadlines seemed to be piling on top of each other, he had finals to take, he still had to find time to film piano covers and vlogs; before long his conversations with Minho were what got him up in the morning. They didn’t talk every day, and actually, some days, few and far between, Taemin did manage to speak with his friends from high school. But, he and Minho made time to talk for around half an hour on Skype every couple of days. They were light conversations, usually. To relax Taemin from his school stress, and other times Minho would even help him memorise parts of the curriculum he was finding it impossible to learn. Taemin was sure that if it weren’t for Minho, he would have absolutely no hope of progressing to final year.
Finally, one day, Taemin arrived back at his flat, dropping his bag as he strolled through the door and collapsed on the coach. That was it. His last deadline, his last exam. The year was over, and he could finally relax.
He was extremely excited to work out plans with Minho. In all practically it would be very easy for them to meet; Taemin only lived about an hour and a half away. The choice of Taemin coming to Minho rather than the other way around was not a difficult choice to make. Taemin loved Seoul, and loved to visit any time he could; Minho travelling to Taemin’s town would result in some very subpar scenery for the two. Plus, Minho had a better filming set up, plus more room, so it hadn’t taken long before they had decided who was going where. But there was the matter of how long he’d be going for, where he would stay… he hoped Minho would offer up his couch, but he couldn’t be too sure.
“Taemin, of course you can sleep on the couch,” Minho told him a few hours later over Skype as Taemin lay sprawled across his bed, looking at his laptop screen.
“Are you sure?” Taemin asked. “I don’t want to take up your space, or whatever.”
Minho only laughed. “Really, it’s fine, you won’t be taking up any space at all.”
Taemin smiled, relieved that he wouldn’t have to pay for a hotel. “Thank you.”
“You’re adorable,” Minho told him fondly, before sitting back in his seat. “Do you want to come on Monday?”
That was only a few days away. Taemin grinned, having not expected Minho to offer a date so soon. “Monday would be great. I’ll be right back.”
Taemin quickly hopped off his bed and went to fetch his camera, soon returning and beginning to record his laptop screen.
“So, guys, guess what we’re discussing? Minho and I are going to meet each other next week!” he said happily, zooming in on Minho’s face on his screen. “Minho’s very excited.”
Minho laughed, obviously watching him. “So is Taemin.”
Taemin moved the camera up and down as if it were nodding, laughing softly. “We’ll be hanging out, maybe filming a video or two, you’ll see!”
“I can’t wait,” Minho said, sounding so genuinely happy that it made Taemin feel a lovely warmth in his chest.
“Me neither.”
____MINHO P.O.V____
Minho would be meeting Taemin at one o’clock. The boy was currently on the subway from just outside the city, due to arrive in within the next twenty minutes. It was only going to be a short trip - Taemin was staying at Minho’s for two nights, and before returning home the following evening. Minho had set up the couch for Taemin, and had discussed with Taemin what they’d be doing during his trip. But that was the easy part. The actual meeting was what was making Minho almost nauseous with stress.
It wasn’t that he was worried, per se, about meeting his friend. It was just… what if they didn’t get along as well in person as they did over an internet connection? What if Minho bored Taemin, or said something stupid that would make Taemin vow to never see him again? Minho didn’t know exactly what he would say to make that happen, but he was sure there was something.
Nevertheless, there Minho was, almost obsessively tidying his house in preparation for his friend’s visit, the strange cocktail of emotions manifesting in what was probably the most extreme excitement Minho had ever felt. He couldn’t wait to meet Taemin, to see the boy in front of him. He couldn’t wait to film with him properly and travel around Seoul with him before Taemin had to catch his train home.
Minho didn’t live far from the train station, only ten minutes, and by the time he’d convinced himself his home looked presentable enough for his guest, he had thirteen minutes until Taemin’s train would arrive at the platform. Taemin had offered for Minho to stay at home, and he’d use a combination of Minho’s address and the internet to find his house, but Minho had shut him down quickly.
So, thirty seconds later, Minho was walking down his street, a spring in his step as he went to meet his friend.
____TAEMIN P.O.V____
Taemin stepped off the train, overnight bag in clutched in his hand as he made his way along the platform and towards the main entrance of the station. He made eye contact with an elderly woman and smiled - he’d been so lost in his thoughts, thinking about meeting Minho, what they’d talk about and do together, that he’d not only almost forgotten to get off the train, but it wasn’t until he was about to walk down the aisle that he had received a tap on his shoulder from the old woman, and realised his overnight bag was still in the overhead luggage rack. If it wasn’t for her he would have waltzed over to meet his friend without any of his belongings, which would not have been ideal.
Taemin’s gaze darted around as he reached he main area of the station, scanning the faces of everyone he saw, looking for some recognition of Minho’s features. But, no luck.
That was okay. Maybe he was running a bit late. Or maybe Taemin was just too small to see him through the crowd. He wasn’t that short, but he wasn’t tall. It wasn’t often he was able to look over the top of people’s heads. Well, except for Chansung, who made Dobby the House Elf look like Hagrid the giant… well, half giant, but the point still stood.
The station was huge, the biggest in the country, but Taemin was sure he gave Minho the right terminal. After a few minutes, he decided to try to contact Minho - text him to see where he was. He moved off to the side to avoid the rush of people and set his bag down between his feet, before pulling his phone out of his jacket pocket and opening up his message thread with Minho.
He was just typing the first word of his message, when he felt a presence come up next to him, and a second later, a tap on the shoulder.
“Taemin.”
Taemin turned his head so fast he almost got whiplash, feeling his face light up as his eyes met his friend’s. “Minho!”
For a split second he didn’t know what to do next - should he hug him? Was Minho a hugger?
Minho answered his question for him, stepping forward and throwing his arms around Taemin. Taemin laughed - mainly at himself for being so hesitant - and hugged Minho back, his hands grasping Minho’s jacket and his smile unable to leave his face. The smell of Minho’s cologne entered his nose. It brought with it a lovely scent of sweet, aromatic cinnamon, reminding Taemin of velvety hot chocolate and cosy autumns, and he could probably get lost in it if he wanted.
“I couldn’t see you,” he told Minho, pulling away from the hug slowly as it came to a natural end. “Which is a mystery,” he continued, glancing over the length of Minho’s body, “because you’re tall as fuck.”
“Well, taller than you, yeah. Maybe you just weren’t looking in the right place.” His eyes fell on Taemin’s bag between his feet. “I’ll carry that for you, if you want. You’re sick of holding it, right?”
“Ah, that’s okay,” Taemin replied, picking up the bag. “It’s not heavy.” It was a bit heavy, actually, but he wouldn’t let Minho know that. He appreciated Minho’s offer, but he could carry his bag himself. Plus, how much of an asshole would he look if he made Minho carry his stuff while he walked empty handed?
“Okay, if you’re sure,” Minho shrugged, smiling softly. His smile was even nicer in person. “Let’s get going, then.”
Taemin smiled, and the two fell into step alongside each other as they exited the station.
“Are you hungry?” Minho asked, eliciting a nod from Taemin.
“Yeah, I haven’t had lunch yet,” he replied, licking his lips as if only realising just how hungry he was. He’d woken up later than he’d meant to that morning, and had shoved a piece of toast in his mouth as he left the house, making him wonder if he’d somehow woken up in a different universe and was now starring in some high school anime.
“I can make us something when we get home,” Minho suggested. “Or, we could drop your bag off and go out to get something?”
Taemin thought for a moment, and thought back to the many conversations he and Minho had had about their cooking skills before. “How about you make something? I’d like to see if your food is as good as you’ve said it is.”
“I invited you over to have fun, not to present my dishes to Lee Taemin, apparent food critic. And anyway, if you’re comparing my food to your own, there won’t be much competition even if my food is terrible, will there?” Minho laughed, nudging Taemin gently.
“Hey, only I can trash talk my own food,” Taemin chuckled, unzipping his bag and reaching his hand in to search for his camera.
“We’ll see about that,” Minho said in a sing-song voice. “Don’t forget, you’ve told me about your honey and milk ramen.” Taemin noticed a pause before his friend spoke again. “What are you looking for?”
“My - ah. My camera,” Taemin said, locating the object he was looking for. “I’m going to vlog a little. Do you mind holding my bag for a bit?”
“Now you want me to carry it,” Minho mocked a dramatic sigh. “Fine,” he smiled, taking Taemin’s bag from him.
“Thank you,” Taemin sang and switched the camera on, turning the lens on himself as he set the focus and pressed record.
“Hey, guys! Can you guess what’s happening?” he grinned, making sure to keep Minho out of the frame. The sun was high in the sky due to the hour of the day, which, in Taemin’s opinion, didn’t make him look the best. “The sun could use a softbox, this is awful,” Taemin murmured, adjusting his hair as he looked at himself in the lens.
“So, some of you saw on Twitter that I was heading into Seoul today, right?” he said, forgetting about the lighting issue. “Well, I arrived a few minutes ago and guess who is here?”
He panned the camera’s angle across to Minho, whom he found was grinning back at him.
Minho laughed, moving his gaze from Taemin to the camera lens. “What a surprise, right? Yeah, I’m losing all my personal space for the night,” he told the camera, before looking back at Taemin.
Taemin turned the focus back on himself. “Minho’s couch space is obviously very important to him. Maybe I’ll have to sleep on the street.”
He heard Minho laugh again next to him, a joyous, light sound, which prompted a large grin from his own lips. Taemin swore that he’d pass out if Minho was any more loveable. “So, what are we doing today, Minho?” he asked, turning the focus on his friend again.
“We’re filming a video for my channel, MinhoPlaysGames. Subscribe for weekly uploads,” Minho replied and winked at the camera, and Taemin rolled his eyes at the self-promotion.
“Don’t bother, his videos suck, my presence will be the only quality content,” Taemin grinned.
“What was that about you sleeping on the street?” Minho threatened jokingly, and Taemin smirked into the camera.
“He’d never let me sleep on the street, he’s too nice,” he said to the camera, before speaking again. “We’re gonna head back to Minho’s place now, catch up with you later,” he said, before stopping the recording and closing the viewfinder.
“You have no idea if I’m too nice,” Minho said to Taemin as he handed his friend’s bag over, allowing Taemin to put the camera away.
“Come on, you’re the nicest person I know,” Taemin replied, zipping up his bag after making sure his camera was safely tucked away. “I may have been talking to you through a screen this whole time, but I’ve still been talking to you.”
“Have you got me all worked out, then?”
“Maybe,” Taemin hummed. “We’ll find out when I see if your food is what I’m expecting.”
____MINHO P.O.V____
“So?”
“Hmm?”
Minho looked over at Taemin from the other side of the table, setting his chopsticks down. “Is it what you were expecting?”
Taemin swallowed his mouthful of kimchi stew, glancing up at Minho's hopeful expression. “Well, you were right, if that’s what you mean,” he said. “It’s delicious.”
Minho grinned, probably a little too widely. “Good,” he said, sitting back in his seat in satisfaction. “Next time, how about you make something? Let me see if you’re really as bad as you say you are.”
“Not sure you’d want that,” Taemin chuckled, collecting some more food with his chopsticks.
“Just leave the honey and milk out of it and you’ll be fine,” Minho laughed.
Taemin smiled back, before shovelling more stew into his mouth.
About ten minutes later, the pair had finished eating, and they worked together to do the washing up.
“What game do you want to play?” Minho asked as he dried his bowl, moving his gaze to Taemin.
Taemin shrugged as he rinsed his own bowl. “I dunno, FIFA? Judging by the games you’ve played on your channel, it’s the one I’m most familiar with.”
“Meaning it’s the one you think you’ll win at?” Minho smiled. “Good luck.”
“You never saw me play against my brother,” Taemin countered. “I’m better than I look. Also, I’ve been playing the piano for years - my fingers are very good with controllers. I’ll bet yours just bumble all over the place.”
Minho scoffed. “Keep telling yourself that, Taeminnie.”
He saw Taemin smile as the boy looked down at his bowl, whether it was at the nickname, or the response in general, Minho wasn’t sure.
____TAEMIN P.O.V____
A short while later, Minho led Taemin to his room, where his filming set up surrounded his desk. Taemin sat down on the edge of the bed while Minho brought a chair in from the kitchen area, setting it next to the chair already placed in front of the desk.
Taemin looked around Minho’s room, taking in the sense of atmosphere the area gave off. The walls were painted a pale blue colour, allowing natural light to bounce of the walls and illuminate the whole space. And as Taemin had expected, sports memorabilia took up a large section of the space. Minho had posters of his favourite teams and players on his walls, a couple of them even signed. But it wasn’t all sports. There were some movie posters that he didn’t recognise, rows of DVDs and games, and some framed photographs of family and friends around his desk and on his bedside cabinet. Minho obviously loved the people in his life a lot.
Taemin looked away relatively quickly, not wanting Minho to think he was being nosy in any way. He simply watched the other boy retrieve the FIFA game, smiling as Minho turned on his console and inserted the disc.
He was about to sit down on the wooden desk chair from the kitchen, when Minho took hold of his arm gently, stopping him. With someone else, Taemin might have backed away from the unexpected touch, but nothing about that physical contact with Minho bothered him.
“Take the comfy chair,” his friend said. “You’re my guest, and I can sit on the wooden one for once.”
“You sure?” Taemin asked, but was already shuffling across to the comfortable chair. If Minho was offering, he wasn’t going to say no.
Minho laughed softly; he must have noticed Taemin’s eagerness to sit down, too. “Yeah.” He sat down next to Taemin, picking up a controller and beginning to set up the game.
Taemin glanced around at Minho’s belongings again. “Your room is cute.”
Minho hummed questioningly, his eyes on the computer screen. “Why? It’s just a room.”
Taemin shrugged, glancing at Minho before also looking at the computer. “Dunno. Just shows a lot of your personality. What’s important to you.”
“I guess all bedrooms are like that,” Minho replied.
“Not mine, really,” Taemin started. “Most of my stuff is still at my parents’ house.”
“Why?”
Taemin paused for a second. “I thought it’d be easier to leave it there. The apartment I’m living in for college is temporary, and I visit my family home often. You’ve seen my room, didn’t it look empty to you?”
“Well…” Minho hesitated. “I’ve only seen it through a camera. I thought there was more I wasn’t seeing,” he said.
“Not really,” Taemin replied. “I’ll have a proper bedroom after college, one with all my stuff, when I can move to the city. But for now, my room is fine.”
“Do you like college?” Minho asked suddenly.
Taemin blinked at him. They’d never really talked about their opinions on their college experiences. “It’s alright. Why?”
“It just… you seem… I don’t know. Lonely,” Minho told him, still occupied with setting up the game. Taemin noticed Minho glancing at him, though.
He didn’t really know what to say. Yeah, he was lonely. A bit. But he was sure other people had worse college experiences than him. He had good grades, he wasn’t a victim of anyone’s bullying or anything like that. He was fine.
“I like being alone,” Taemin said, and it was true.
“You can like being alone and still be lonely,” Minho pointed out, and yes, Taemin knew that.
He simply shrugged in response, not quite knowing what to say.
“Just remember, you have me, right?” Minho turned to him properly then, smiling sweetly.
Taemin smiled back, touched at how caring his friend was. “I know. Thanks, Minho.”
The next thing Taemin felt was Minho placing his hand on Taemin’s knee, squeezing it quickly in comfort. It made Taemin smile just a little bit wider, the warmth of Minho’s hand seeming to radiate through Taemin’s entire body.
“I’ll set up the camera,” Minho said after a moment, standing up and retrieving the device from a shelf above the desk. The tripod was tiny, and was already set to the correct height to film, so Taemin watched Minho assemble the equipment while sitting there quietly. Minho also turned on the couple of lights he used for filming, ensuring that the shot wasn’t too dark, as well as his screen capture software. All the equipment looked quite expensive; they were obviously of a much higher quality than what Taemin used.
“How much did all that cost?” Taemin asked.
“More than I like to think about,” Minho chuckled. “I took a couple of extra shifts at work to save up for it all. Even though Youtube is still a hobby for me, I want my videos to look professional.”
“Me, too,” Taemin replied. “There’s only so much I can afford as a student, though,” he smiled. “Any money I get from Youtube goes towards my tuition. I’d probably have to sell my liver for those lights alone.”
Minho laughed. “Liver might not be the best idea. You’d be dead pretty quickly. I’d recommend going with a kidney instead.”
“Okay, Doctor Minho,” Taemin rolled his eyes jokingly. “Thanks for the advice.”
“You’re welcome, Tae,” Minho teased. “All done,” he announced a second later, pressing record and sitting back down next to Taemin, handing him his own controller. “Ready to start?”
“Yeah,” Taemin confirmed, turning the controller over in his hands as he got used to holding it.
He quickly ducked down out of the seat, below the desk.
“What are you doing?” Minho asked quizzically.
“Surprising your viewers,” Taemin grinned up at him from below the desk. “Just say you have a guest.”
Minho shook his head fondly, turning back to the camera. “Okay, I’ll start.”
“Hi everyone,” Taemin heard his friend begin the video. “Today I’ll be playing FIFA on PlayStation 4, I haven’t played it for a few weeks and I know some of you like these game plays the most. But, today I’m not alone, I have someone here with me.”
It was at that moment that Taemin decided to make his appearance. He used the chair to hoist himself up from under the desk quickly, showing himself to the camera. Or, that was what he was meant to do. What actually happened was very different. Taemin grabbed onto the seat of the chair, ready to pull himself up. He’d forgotten the chair had wheels, and in pulling himself up, managed to push the chair away from him. He lost his grip and crashed back down to the floor, disappearing from view just as quickly as he’d reappeared. “Fuck!” he exclaimed, curling up on the floor in defeat.
Minho burst out laughing above him, a high pitched sound that Taemin had heard a few times before over Skype and had quickly grown to treasure.
“Stop laughing!” Taemin moaned from his foetal position on the floor, but Minho took no notice, and Taemin continued to hear the contagious laugh that very soon had him chuckling, too.
“You’re not putting that in,” he told Minho, pulling the chair towards him carefully, and finally getting up off the floor, sitting down where he was supposed to have ended up just ten seconds ago.
“I definitely am,” Minho replied, and Taemin thought he’d managed to calm down before the other boy dissolved into another fit of giggles. It was adorable, but that didn’t mean Taemin was okay with it.
Taemin forced himself to stop laughing and his lips formed a small pout as he picked up his controller.
“Taeminnie, you’re so cute,” Minho grinned, turning back towards the camera. “Today I have Lee Taemin visiting, so we’re going to play together. I’ll put the links to his channel and social media in the description. Although, his content isn’t as entertaining as what just happened.”
“Yeah, well, I just gave you the best moment of your channel, too,” Taemin mumbled, trying to hide his amusement at the situation.
Minho laughed again, scrolling through the game’s menu. “So, which team are you going to play as?”
____MINHO P.O.V____
“Yes, yes, yes!”
Taemin cheered as he scored yet another goal against Minho, causing other boy to cry out in frustration, close his eyes and fall back in his seat so hard the chair almost toppled over.
Minho really hadn’t expected Taemin to be so good, especially being years out of practice as Taemin had claimed in their first conversation, but right now the score was 3 - 1 to Taemin. Maybe what Taemin had said about piano playing helping his fingers was true, because Minho couldn’t see how else Taemin was managing to beat him so completely.
“Thought you said you were good at this?” Taemin’s voice suddenly whispered in Minho’s ear, and Minho could fucking hear his shit eating grin. He opened his eyes as Taemin sat back, trying not to pout at Taemin’s words. Choi Minho was not about to sulk.
“Aw, look who’s sulking,” Taemin cooed teasingly, grinning as he turned back to the screen.
“I’m not!” Minho argued, sitting up straight again and even more determined than he was before. “You’re going down, Lee Taemin.”
“You wish,” Taemin smirked as the game refreshed from the goal, beginning the next round.
By the end of the game, the final scores were 3 - 2, Taemin being declared the winner. If he’d only had a few more minutes, Minho was certain he would have been able to make it a draw. But no, he had to deal with Taemin’s smug expression as they filmed the outro to the video.
“Thanks for watching, and don’t bother telling me you want Taemin in another video, because he’s not being in one,” Minho said, causing Taemin to laugh.
“See you next time, guys!” Taemin grinned, waving to the lens.
“We’ll see about that,” Minho smiled, pushing Taemin playfully, his smile growing when the other boy pushed him gently back.
“We will.”
Minho decided to leave it after that last line from Taemin, standing up and turning the camera off, along with all the other equipment.
“I really didn't expect to beat you,” Taemin told Minho as Minho turned off the console.
“That makes two of us,” Minho laughed. “You’re really good.”
“Maybe you’ll somehow be able to play the piano better than me,” Taemin suggested, obviously not serious.
“I have a keyboard under my bed,” Minho said as he sat down again. “I can show you how good I am.”
That seemed to genuinely catch Taemin off guard. “You have one?”
Minho nodded, standing up and heading to his bed. “My mum got it for me for my birthday one year. I was in the mood to learn an instrument, and I thought a keyboard would be fun. The interest died out pretty quickly, but I still kept it,” he said to his friend, reaching under his bed and pulling out the keyboard. It was a little dusty, but Minho wiped it quickly before turning to Taemin again. “I don’t even know the notes or chords anymore, the most I can play is nursery rhymes.”
Taemin stood up, approaching Minho and the keyboard. “Play something?”
Minho thought for a moment. “I’ll play something, if you play something, too.”
Taemin nodded. “Okay.”
Minho brought the keyboard over to the desk, clearing a space and setting it down. He considered what he knew how to play, eventually settling on his favourite nursery rhyme from when he was young. It was simple, but it was genuinely the best he could do.
He finished playing after a short amount of time, and looked at Taemin for his approval. The other boy was smiling at him, his eyes bright.
“That’s really cute.”
“Yeah, well,” Minho shrugged. “Like I said, that’s the best I can do. What are you going to play?”
Taemin was quiet for a while, and Minho was just about to ask him if he was okay, when he spoke again.
“You know I said I’d composed something recently? And you said you wanted to hear it in person? I could play that. It probably won’t sound as good on a keyboard but…”
Minho’s eyes widened slightly at Taemin’s proposition. He knew what he was about to hear was very personal to his friend. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
Taemin nodded. “I’d like you to hear it. Do you want to hear it?”
Minho mirrored Taemin’s nods, stepping aside for Taemin to reach the keyboard. “Of course.”
“Okay,” Taemin said, and stood in front of the keyboard as Minho went to sit on the bed.
The room was silent for a moment, before the first notes of Taemin’s composition began to fill the air. Minho watched Taemin’s fingers move elegantly across the keyboard as the music entered his ears, and it was as if each note was being absorbed into his body, suppressing his thoughts and his ability to breathe.
The tune was astonishing, encapsulating so many mixed emotions and feelings that Minho recognised. Hopefulness, melancholy, loneliness and longing, so many contrasting features which somehow formed coherently beautiful melody that Minho could listen to forever. Taemin was so, so talented. Minho had always known it, but this was something else.
Minho was so lost in the piece that he almost didn’t notice when it finishing, but his eye was caught by Taemin turning around and looking at him expectantly.
“Well?” His voice was small, as if he were scared of what Minho might say.
“You’re amazing, Taemin,” Minho breathed, and the sentence felt like the truest words he’d ever spoken.
____TAEMIN P.O.V____
Minho uploaded his collaboration video with Taemin a couple of days later. Taemin had arrived home the previous afternoon, having caught a train from Seoul at lunch time. And he already missed Minho. Actually, from the moment he said goodbye to him he missed him. The two had experienced so much fun together, from filming Minho’s video and Taemin’s vlogs, to just leaving the cameras behind, talking to each other and going on a walk around the city centre. It was exactly what Taemin had needed and he couldn’t thank Minho enough for it.
Taemin hadn’t seen Minho editing the game play they’d filmed; he didn’t know what the other boy would have emphasised or edited out. He was sort of hoping Minho had chosen to get rid of Taemin’s unfortunate incident with the chair at the start of the introduction, but he didn’t want to be too optimistic.
There was only one way to found out - he’d have to see it. The two had been in a Skype call for a few hours; Taemin was sitting on his bed, mostly reliving with Minho the events of the last few days and laughing about the good times they had shared. Minho was currently uploading the video to Youtube, talking to Taemin as he did so.
“And you’re sure the couch was comfortable enough?” Minho asked, slightly distractedly as he typed, probably entering the video title and tags.
“Yes, it was fine, stop worrying,” Taemin smiled, watching Minho through the screen. Despite Minho focusing on his video upload, he still sounded genuinely concerned, and it made Taemin’s heart melt. “It was almost more comfortable than my own bed,” he continued, and that statement was true. His bed wasn’t of the highest quality, and Taemin had to toss and turn some nights just to reach a part of the mattress that wasn’t annoyingly lumpy. Sleeping on Minho’s couch was like being in a five-star hotel.
Minho shrugged. “If you say so.” He clicked once more and sat back, staring the screen. “There, it’s just processing. Should be up in a minute or two.”
“Cool, have you cut out the moments of you being a sulky toddler?” Taemin teased, grinning at Minho. “Although, you’d have no footage left.”
“This kid…” Minho said under his breath. “Why did I ever think you were nice?” he asked, smiling. “If you want the entire video to be a repeated clip of you falling down, I can re-edit it right now.”
“Hey, do you want to die?” Taemin laughed. “I’ll take the first train back to Seoul and physically stop you.”
“Yeah?” Minho raised his eyebrows. “How would you do that?”
“It’s a surprise,” Taemin smirked, as if he actually had ideas running through his brain. He’d think of something. “You should be scared.”
“How can I be scared when you’re so cute?”
Taemin huffed in protest of the adjective, his cheeks heating up slightly in what felt like embarrassment, just like they did whenever Minho called him ‘cute’, or anything of the sort.
“Yeah, well, people can be cute and scary,” he objected.
“People, not you,” Minho grinned.
Taemin was about to reply, when he heard a notification from Minho’s laptop.
“Ah,” his friend said. “The video has finished processing.”
____MINHO P.O.V____
A couple of hours later, Minho was still talking to Taemin over Skype, except now they were scrolling through the comments on the video, discussing them as Minho replied to a few. They had watched the video together, and Taemin had been seemingly pleasantly surprised that Minho, really, had done minimal editing to the footage. Barely anything had been cut, because Minho thought it was all so good. The fall, the ‘sulking’, it was all there. And it seemed that not only did Taemin like it, but the viewers did too.
“They love you,” Minho laughed as he typed out a reply to a comment talking about Taemin’s fall, smiling as he glanced up to his view of Taemin in the right hand corner of the screen.
“Love is a strong word, but there’s no hate towards me yet,” Taemin nodded.
“Of course there’s not,” Minho murmured, continuing to scroll.
As they talked, Minho saw a comment noting a specific time code, followed by a heart emoji. He frowned, wondering what the person was referencing, and clicked the time code, redirecting him to the video. Minho played a few seconds, his eyes quickly being drawn to his own face. He watched himself watch Taemin as the latter spoke to the camera, swallowing as he realised what the comment was referring to. The way, well, past-Minho was looking at past-Taemin was… full of adoration, so much so that it caught him off guard. He didn’t remember looking at him that. Not that he didn’t adore Taemin, the guy was one of his closest friends, but-
“Are you watching it again?” came Taemin’s voice from over the speaker.
“Hm?” Minho jumped at Taemin’s question, looking away from the video to the view of Taemin’s webcam.
“Are you watching the video again?” Taemin shrugged. “I heard a few seconds.”
“Oh,” Minho replied. “No, someone just time coded a funny moment,” he lied, scrolling down to the comments again.
The two kept talking for a while, until the conversation died down, and they scrolled quietly. Or, at least Minho did. He couldn’t be sure that Taemin hadn’t switched to another webpage.
There were countless comments like the first one. Time codes, quotes, and not just focused on him. Lots of them were focused on Taemin, too. Someone had even created a makeshift pairing name for them - ‘2min’. Had Taemin seen it all too? He must have, but Minho was scared to ask. Why was he scared? Taemin would just see it as funny, right? Wasn’t that what Minho wanted?
He would ask. Just to see what Taemin thought.
“Tae, have you seen the comments on-”
“Minho, did you see what people are-”
____TAEMIN P.O.V____
Taemin ran the dish towel over his plate, drying it carefully before placing it carefully in one of the kitchen cabinets. He was just about to start filming a new video, and this one was going to be interesting. He dried his hands quickly and stepped out of the kitchen, humming to himself as he made his way towards the bedroom. He smiled as he entered the room, sitting down on a wooden chair in front of the desk.
“I really should buy another desk chair,” came a voice from beside him, and Taemin turned his head to see Minho looking at him.
“That’s probably a good idea,” Taemin chuckled, shuffling the chair closer to Minho’s so they were both in frame. “Is everything set up?”
“Yeah, we’re ready to go,” Minho confirmed. “There’s just one more thing.”
“Hm?” Taemin questioned, turning his head to meet Minho’s eyes.
Minho simply raised his eyebrows. “You know what it is.”
Taemin rolled his eyes and leaned in. “You’re so fucking corny,” he murmured, his eyelids fluttering close as he pressed a soft kiss to Minho’s lips.
His boyfriend pulled away a few seconds later, grinning. “Now we can start,” he announced as he reached over and pressed record, before sitting back in his previous position and looking into the lens.
“Hey guys! Once again, I have Taemin with me today. Before we start, we have something to share with you. And I think you’ve all been expecting it.”
sequel
#my fics#2min#shinee#this was meant to be up hours ago but.. title#also available on my aff taeminnie-mouse#anyway Goodnight
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Bamboozled
I default to lying.
I default to under estimation
I default to selfishness
I default to self-disrespect.
I default to repetition of the shortcomings to bask in a sea of self pity
I default to glorifying my darkness. Because its far easier to settle for that, than the actual work it takes to focus on doing good.
I default to procrastination hidden under the guise of perfection
I have to share. In not sharing. I repeat, to myself, the same storyline of perfection. To work on the content forever and never get comfortable with actual delivery. A big part of me is actually an imposter. It needs to be aired out. Everyday.
This process of exposing the true self to myself IS difficult. Fucking difficult. To navigate the internal mazes and traverse through the jungles of all that makes me, me; was never easy. Oh how i fell in love with the ease, The lie, that another being could take the fall for me; Cover my sins as I moved through my own life taking very little to no responsibility for my actions. Premature murder. The set up of set ups. To keep away from me, and dependent on whatever solutions they provided.
So where do I begin now. Life has been a constant suffering. Being Alive, is a lot sometimes, damn near all the time. But somehow, I’ve made it this far. This Shit is actually crazy. Maybe, just maybe I’m equipped to handle it. My ancestors, this evolution, really made it through hell and high waters. And I’ve been in constant doubt, yet I’ve made it everytime, is it just the genes? I don’t know.
Suffer forward. We really do suffer to inspire. and I know I have to open the doors to my heart in order to let love in. Parts of me feel the sting of living as I always have. But, On God, I made it this far. I have to tell the truth. Especially to myself.
When it comes to my creations, my music, my art, The first thing I look to do, is Lie. Lie about why I can’t or shouldn’t do something. Whether its make music, learn new techniques, meditate, release content or whatever is new and potentially challenging. When a risk is involved, I default to Lying.
Because in not setting a mark, I can’t miss it.
Yet it’s my automatic failure when my gun is loaded and not a shot has been fired.
It’s not the world I’m afraid of. At least I don’t think its that (primarily). It’s me. It’s always been me. Having to look and commit to the growth of the real me. Theres such a fear there. What do u mean I can’t downplay myself or lie to myself or act like I don’t know better, or take part in a lifestyle that i know is detrimental to my core, or hide behind addictions or play possum and source out any bit of pity to coddle and trick me into thinking that I tried, my best even, when I know I haven’t even scratched the scratch of the scratch of who in heaven I am. I am not who I’ve pretended to be. I am not who I’ve told myself I was, I’m not that nigga.
I’m a liar.
I’m an actor. who’s preferred the look, to the real thing, because it seemed easier to digest at the time, But in the long run, it only made adjusting to reality far more difficult. The path for me, is a narrow path.
The Truth cannot be fucked with. Tricked, Finessed or Bamboozled. The Truth, is the Truth. Forever and Ever. The Peace I want, works through truth and truth only. To stand up, speak up and always give my all. Thats what My life wants from me. Its always wanted this from me. But My pride ran me dry.
I chose expedience over meaning.
Again and again.
Year after year.
Until I distanced myself incredibly far from reality and deep into the realm of lala land. My Blind disobedience, became Conscious disobedience once I realized I’d lose everything I’d spent my entire life building. All to reach an ABRUPT stop and restart all over again? Ego’s on suicide watch just at the thought it.
Let it all go. None of this shit ever belonged to me. It’s comforting being around things your used to. Even if its painful. I found purpose in repitition and perversion of my pain. I Looked to darkness for guidance because I thought light abandoned me. it didn’t. The pain just made unwilling to try looking for it anymore. But there’s No one to blame. No where to run. No place to hide. No lie to tell. Nothing else to do and Nowhere else to go. It’s all me now. Right here. Right now.
Surrender.
You’re Always welcome.
#you're always welcome#peace within and without#just try#writing#journal#diary#figuring it out#toronto#scarborough#dear#just a liar#surrender
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We all start as employees. But some of us, with enough drive and focus, learn how to make money online and start our own businesses.
None of us are born as entrepreneurs. We are driven to start.
My guess is you are one of us — the driven few. The ones who are willing to put in the work NOW to change our lives TOMORROW.
So what’s holding you back?
For most of us, it boils down to three things:
Time: Racing through the day with no time left for yourself, your family, or realizing your dreams.
Fear: Staying frozen in place rather than face the possibility of failure and ridicule, losing your security, the unknown.
Knowledge: Not knowing how (and desperately wanting) to make more money without trading away more of your time. Plus, not knowing where to start.
By the time you finish reading this article, you will have everything you need to take action today.
Find the Time: Where to find the time to build your online business while working a full-time job.
Overcome Your Fear: How to get unstuck today – and move closer to your goal (of financial independence) every single day.
Uncover the Knowledge: The one thing you need to know to take action today. Plus, where to find your profitable online business ideas.
In this article, we are going to learn how to make money online fast in 2019.
We’ve got a lot to cover, so let’s jump straight into it.
How to find the time to take action
Let’s be clear. This isn’t about how to make money online so you can live a fantasy life with mansions and fast cars. It’s not about startups and buyouts.
But it’s not about creating another job for yourself, either. That’s trading time for money, and you already know it’s not the answer.
This is about making enough money to buy back your time.
It’s about starting small, and learning as you go. Most of all, it’s about fearlessly creating and launching your ideas out into the world.
It’s about freedom.
The freedom to sleep late tomorrow if you want, or not work at all next week and take your family to Hawaii for a last-minute getaway.
“No such thing as spare time. No such thing as free time. No such thing as down time. All you got is life time. Go.” – Henry Rollins
Not to get morbid, but we’re all going to die one day. And when we’re laying on our deathbeds, we are not going to reminisce about season six of The Walking Dead.
Every day 1000s of people are choosing to start profitable side hustles rather than watch Netflix. What will you choose?
We are going to remember the chances we took, the places we visited, and the things we produced in this world.
From Consumer to Producer
We spend our entire lives consuming other people’s products and services.
We buy new phones, clothes, and cars. We use apps and watch Netflix without even contemplating these purchases — and this is great for producers.
Producers create every app, song, video, phone, website, podcast, and pair of headphones that you own or use — and they get paid to do it.
They build something out of nothing. They get paid to create, inspire, and do work they love.
You can do that too if you learn to be a producer.
Before you consume anything, think about the people behind your purchase. Consumers pay for producers to live bold, exciting lives, on their own terms.
Which side of that exchange do you want to be on?
You know that show that you are watching but it’s not really that good? Give up one episode of it each night. In that one hour, you can accomplish an astonishing amount.
The beauty of not endlessly consuming other people’s creations is you now have hours every day to work towards your goal of making money online. You need to move from being a consumer to producer.
Here’s what I propose: start small. Start something now that gives you ownership of your time and money. And grow from there. Use our goal setting worksheet if you need help getting started.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s overcome the fears and anxieties you may have around starting an online business.
How to overcome your fear of failure
The biggest killer of online businesses and entrepreneurial dreams is not what you would expect. It’s not lack of financing, the economy, or bad ideas.
It’s doubt.
Self-doubt kills many dreams, long before any external factors can come into play. Most people are afraid to start pursuing their dreams.
Or if they do start, they turn back at the first signs of struggle, convinced they don’t have what it takes.
This is why your mindset is so important to get right in the beginning. Here are 21 business hacks to get you rolling right.
There are so many misconceptions around starting a business, it’s no wonder there is so much doubt (and so little confidence).
The truth is, you can start to make money online from home without quitting your job, knowing how to code, and without a million-dollar idea.
The most important thing is to start off with the right mindset. You need to go into this journey knowing you can get past any obstacle that comes up — you can and will.
Don’t worry, I can help you do it. Check out my entrepreneurial mindset course now.
Learning how to be wrong
Not only are failure and being wrong inevitable in business and in life, but you should actively search for them to learn valuable lessons.
All forms of education are tied to a cost – the cost of failure is time, resources, and humility.
It’s not always easy to make mistakes and fail, but it is essential to your growth and your success in online business and in life.
When you make a mistake, it’s not catastrophic. Keep moving, iterating, and using what you’ve learned to determine your next move.
When you enter your bedroom in the dark, you reach for the light switch.
If you miss, do you stop looking for it?
Do you decide to wait for the sun to rise and provide you with light?
My guess is you would never think of doing that because without even thinking, you take what you’ve learned (the light switch isn’t where you just touched) and reach out to another spot on the wall.
Again, if you miss a second and third time, you never think of living in the dark.
You instantly reach out again: you don’t get beaten by the defeat, and it never crosses your mind that you might not be cut out for living in a well-lit bedroom.
Think of making money online as a light switch. It doesn’t matter if you’ve tried and failed in the past, you need to know that it will work once you get it right.
Don’t struggle with failure (learn to enjoy it)
As Seth Godin said, there is a difference between failure and your struggle with failure.
Failure is inevitable in business and in life, but somehow we are better equipped to deal with it in day-to-day life.
We don’t know if our business ideas are any good. We don’t know if we have the skills and perseverance to pull it off. We don’t know what will happen if we fail.
Learning to fail and not allowing it to sideswipe you is essential. The good part is, the more you fail, the better you get.
Failure is not catastrophic, it is simply an opportunity to redirect and reiterate your project or ideas.
Of course, you could try to avoid the possibility of failure by never taking any chances. But you will still face risks that you can’t control You can live your whole life taking the safe route, and still have the rug pulled out from under you.
You could get laid off, the stock market could crash, or your job could become obsolete.
Best case scenario — if you silence the voice in your head and push down that feeling in your stomach long enough — you can retire and live with your regrets.
Either way, life is a risk.
How to make money online
There is a lot to learn, and plenty of opportunities to get stuck when you’re starting an online business from scratch.
Even if you’ve run a business in the past, taking your expertise online will involve learning a whole new set of skills.
From creating and selling an online course to writing a sales page that converts, it’s daunting for anybody. Especially those who don’t consider themselves technically inclined.
I get it. I’ve been there.
But I learned the hard way that trying to learn everything all at once, before you start, means… you’ll never start.
The sheer volume of information and challenges ahead will overwhelm you. You’ll get buried in it, and you might not be able to dig yourself out.
“The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.” — Aristotle
You can read the best business books, take courses, and wait for the perfect idea for years without launching anything. It’s procrastination by learning.
It’s easy to fool ourselves into thinking we’re taking action by researching, studying, and reading endless books before we launch our business.
Just-in-time learning
There is no replacement for action. You don’t have to learn everything before you start.
You learn only need to know enough to move to the next step. You take one step, then you learn the next thing.
I call it just in time learning. You learn what you need to know just in time, right as you are about to take action.
You NEED to LAUNCH something. And once you have, I want you to keep improving your process with all the experience and knowledge you gained the first time through.
Until you jump into the pool, you are not going to learn a damn thing about swimming.
Producers do not have to learn to design and code. Producers need to take an idea and turn it into reality. Creating something out of nothing is your job as a producer.
The producer of your favorite T.V. show does not hold the camera and edit the final show. She simply takes an idea and organizes the right people around her to create the best final product possible.
The internet itself was built by people like you and me.
Now let’s take a look at the best ways to make money online for those who are looking to take action today.
Start a blog and use content marketing
Is it still possible to make money online with blogging? Yes, it is.
Now, I won’t lie to you. It takes time and effort to learn how to start a blog.
It only takes a few hours to set up your first blog, but It will take you a ton of work and time (think months or years) to start seeing decent passive income. You may even feel stupid for spending so much time on something with an unpredictable return on your investment of time.
But once it starts, you are off to the races. Trust me — once you get that first win, things start to change pretty fast.
Here are the 3 steps to set up a blog:
Pick a name for your blog (and buy your domain)
Choosing a good name for your new blog can be overwhelming. After all, the domain name you choose is the first impression people have of your blog.
Depending on your topic you can always use your own name for your domain – James Altucher did this and it’s worked out incredibly well for him.
So how do you find a perfect blog name?
It’s much easier to come up with ideas once you know what niche you serve and who you target.
Spend some time writing down words to describe your audience. Focus on how they describe themselves.
Do your search over at Namecheap, my #1 recommended place to buy your domains.
Grab your domain now and save 19% (for a limited time)
To help you decide, here are a few characteristics of an ideal domain name:
Original and available: Do not try to copy another popular name.
Clear and simple: Keep it simple, so it’s easy to remember.
Simple spelling: Don’t get too creative with invented words, or people won’t know how to spell it.
Common extensions: These extensions are common, therefore easier to remember: .com | .co | .org | .io
Choosing an ideal domain name will take some brainstorming. But once you have the perfect name, the next step is finding hosting for your blog.
Get the right website hosting
Now that you have a name for your blog, you need to find a place for it to live. This place is your website host.
If this is your first time setting up a blog, then you might not even know what website hosting is. And while this can be confusing, it doesn’t have to be.
Once you understand the fundamentals of how website hosting works, you will be able to make an educated decision.
Website hosting 101:
A website is a bunch of different files connected to the internet. These files hold data and need a ‘space’ that’s secure and accessible to the internet.
This ‘space’ is what a hosting company offers.
The function of a host is to keep the data of your blog safe and accessible.
The worst thing you can do for your blog early on is to choose a hosting company based on price – or going with the cheapest hosting you can find.
You’re looking at endless problems, like slow loading times, and crashing. Add some terrible customer support into the mix and you’ll never want to blog again.
Instead, here’s what to look for in a hosting company:
Excellent customer support: Get help quickly when you need it.
Quality hardware: You need your website to be fast and secure. You can’t do that with crappy hosting.
Economical pricing: The best hosting is less than $10/month.
My recommendation:
If you’re serious about the speed and security of your new blog — as you should be — SiteGround is the best option you can find. Here’s a complete SiteGround review to give you an inside look at their product and service.
SiteGround is one of the few hosting providers recommended by WordPress itself, and that says a lot about their quality and integrity as a hosting company.
Sure it can be a few dollars more than the cheapest hosting available, but it is infinitely better.
If you want excellent service, a blazingly fast blog, and peace of mind with automatic backups, then SiteGround is a perfect choice.
Pick an effective design for your blog
Now that you have a domain name and hosting, it’s time to get to the fun stuff — designing your blog!
There are two ways to go about this:
Hire a WordPress Developer
Get a WordPress Theme
Developers are expensive. When you’re just starting out it is faster and more effective to go with a predesigned WordPress theme. With a theme, you can make a great-looking blog without hiring a developer.
Your blog’s design should reflect your brand’s identity, while also touching on a few key components such as having a fast load speed, easy navigation, mobile-optimized for all devices, and friendly user experience.
There is no perfect design for a blog – but, there can be a perfect design for your blog.
All WordPress themes are not created equal. Some are fast – others are slow. Some are secure – others will get your site hacked.
We are looking for FAST and SECURE.
Genesis is a framework for WordPress. The benefit of using the Genesis Framework is that there are 100s of Genesis compatible themes and swapping between themes (designs) is simple and pain-free.
I’ve been a fan and user of the Genesis Framework and StudioPress themes for years.
The current version of this site is running Maker Pro theme by StudioPress on the Genesis framework. You can check it out here.
Yes, it will take time to get rolling, build an audience, and start earning money from a new blog. But writing about topics you are really into, building a community, and getting paid for it is an awesome feeling.
When it’s time to start writing blog posts, follow this process for how to get on the first page of Google.
2. Affiliate marketing
Affiliate marketing is the process of earning money by promoting other people’s products. It’s a proven online business idea for getting started.
As an affiliate marketer, you will find and promote products. The owners of the product pay you a commission for every sale or lead you to send to them.
When I interviewed Erik Bergman on the podcast, he said affiliate marketing was the best business model in the world.
If you’re new to making money online, you can use affiliate marketing to test your ideas and find your ideal customer base.
Once you find a product that sells really well to your audience, you can then think about creating your own (better) version of this same product. Consider it market research you get paid for.
Getting started with affiliate marketing is a 4-step process:
Sign up with an affiliate network
There are hundreds of affiliate networks out there. When you know what type of products you want to promote, it’s easy to find options.
Some of the leading affiliate networks are:
Amazon Associates
ShareASale
CJ Affiliates
You can find most affiliate programs by Googling “product name” and “affiliate program” together.
More than anything else with affiliate marketing, you should ONLY be promoting products YOU USE YOURSELF.
Choose an affiliate product
First off, you need to find products that will appeal to your audience – the people you are marketing to.
If you are just getting started making money online, choose a digital product to promote – such as online courses, ebooks, or software – because they pay a higher commission and are typically easier to sell.
The process of choosing your first affiliate product involves three simple steps:
Narrow down product ideas
Choose a single product
Then validate
By testing which affiliate products resonate with your audience, you can learn what kind of products may be big sellers if you eventually decide to create your own.
Promote the affiliate product
You’ve researched affiliate programs and chosen a product to promote. Now it’s time to start making some sales.
But you don’t want to feel like a pushy salesperson.
Here’s how to strike the right balance of helpful content and sales offers:
Always do what’s best for your audience and makes sales later.
When getting started online, many people struggle with this part – you aren’t alone. Here’s the exact process we use to create sales pages that convert.
If let your fears hold you back you will never start making money online – or get to enjoy the freedom that comes along with it.
People purchase the product with your affiliate link
Once you’ve created the affiliate link, it’s time to start selling. Let’s talk about some different ways you can market your affiliate products.
If you already have a good readership on your blog, you have a head-start. You can easily add product reviews to your publishing schedule.
Transparency is always appreciated — let your readers know you will be paid a small commission if they decide to buy.
Affiliate marketing is a great way to get started in online business, but let’s move on to the next way to make money online.
3. Create and sell courses online
There’s never been a better time to make the transition from selling your time for money to selling your knowledge at scale. And creating an online course is a great way to do this.
You can get started with little to no up-front investment, you can start small and grow over time, and you can get paid to help people solve a problem they have.
Your first barrier is figuring out what to teach.
It’s much easier to make money selling online courses when you aim to solve a problem for the intended audience. That’s why it’s one of my favorite online business models.
Instead of pondering, “What’s a good idea for my online course?”
Ask, “What challenges does my audience face that I can help with?”
Successful online courses are results-oriented and unambiguous.
They promise to:
Solve a specific problem
For a specific audience
To achieve a specific result
When framed this way, you’ll spend less time judging potential course ideas and more time focusing on the real goal: delivering something of value.
As you build your audience, use lead magnets to build your email list – then simply ask your subscribers what they need help with.
From here, you simply need to commit to your idea and take action.
Do you want to learn more about how to make money from online courses? Check out this step-by-step guide from Podia.
4. Start a membership site
It takes a lot of time to wade through content online to find the golden resources you need. Membership sites remove this from the equation and provide customers with all the info they need in one place.
A membership site is at its essence a resource hub. Customers pay a subscription fee, and they are granted access to the resources the owner creates, aggregates, or sources.
Resource materials can be anything from tutorials, videos, articles, and any other form of content your audience finds valuable.
With the creation of all-in-one platforms like Podia, you don’t have to worry about the headaches of setting up a website. These platforms enable you sell memberships, courses, and digital downloads all in one place.
Membership sites are a great path to making money online if you are a content producer and love social media and forums.
That being said, if that doesn’t sound like a way that you’d like to spend your time, then you will want to choose another online business model.
5. Start a podcast
Of course, I’m a little biased on podcasting since it’s the foundation of my entire online business. But that doesn’t make it any less of a great way to make some extra money online.
If you don’t have an existing audience, learning how to start a podcast is not the fastest way to starting making money in your spare time. But as your popularity grows, you’ll build up your credibility and become a resource in your niche.
You’ll also be able to find sponsors for your podcast who want to pay you to introduce their products to your audience.
Additionally, as the demand for advertising on your podcast increases, so will your ability to select sponsorships that fit your brand, and that could provide you with steady streams of online income.
Here’s the (simplified) process for starting a podcast:
Pick your podcast topic
Define your audience
Position your podcast
Choose the right format
Pick a name for your show
Record your episodes
Publish and distribute
It’s not a sexy voice, a good microphone, or flashy editing that makes a podcast stand out and become successful. Those things might help you sound good. But none of that matters unless you build a podcast on a foundation of remarkable content.
It is the content that makes the podcast.
Whatever your reason for wanting to learn how to start a podcast – whether it’s to talk about your favorite TV show or to make money – you need to provide valuable content.
That’s not saying you have to be an expert in your field. You will learn as you grow your podcast, but you have to start with by having value to offer.
Grab our Remarkable Guide to Starting a Podcast
6. Social media management
Here’s a way to transform your Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest habits into a profitable money-making venture.
There’s no marketing without social media marketing – and because of this, every business needs to be marketing on social media. The thing is, most business owners either don’t have the time or they just aren’t savvy enough to do it well.
If you’re good at creating content and engaging on social media, this is the perfect way for you to begin earning money online.
The best part is, you can start making money immediately with social media management.
Here’s how you can get started:
Clean up your personal social media accounts (remove any posts you wouldn’t want a potential client to see)
Read Buffer’s guide to social media marketing (to create a strategy and brush up on the lingo for making your pitch)
Email 10 businesses in your local area and make your pitch! (Car dealerships, restaurants, and bars are a great place to start)
If your self-confidence is running low, you can offer to work for the first month for a reduced rate or even free
You are probably thinking I oversimplified this process, but I didn’t. The only reason you’re telling yourself this is to make it more complicated than it needs to be – and create a reason to procrastinate.
If for some reason you can’t come up with 10 local business to pitch your services to, you can always set up a profile and pitch your services on a marketplace like Upwork or Fiverr.
7. Become a content writer
If you want to make money online from home, this side hustle may be perfect for you. If you have a way with words, then you should take the time and do the work necessary to become a content writer.
Content marketing is one of the fastest growing marketing channels for businesses – both local and global – and will only increase in the future.
Learning the art of crafting effective content is a valuable skill that will keep you in demand for years to come. According to the Content Marketing Institute, 53% of brands are looking to increase their content marketing budgets in 2019.
Writing for the web is different than writing for other mediums. If you want a primer, check out Copyblogger’s simple rule for web writing.
To find work as a content writer, you can reach out to your personal network or (again) you can use some of the many marketplaces like Upwork or Fiverr.
There is also an excellent marketplace specifically for companies and writers to find each other – it’s called nDash.
I recommend using nDash because it’s the perfect place to find work as a content writer – and it’s free for writers to sign up!
8. Make money online with surveys and research studies
If you were looking for make money online surveys and found them to be too much work for very little reward. This may be the exact thing you were looking for – research studies. No previous skills or experience required, and each study takes only about 30 minutes to complete.
Respondent is the fastest way to find high-paying research opportunities.
You can get started with research studies in 4 simple steps:
Sign up here and verify your profile (with Linkedin or Facebook)
Get automagically matched with your first study
Select a time that works for you and participate in the study
Get paid automatically via Paypal
It could not be easier to get up and running today. No excuses, this is your chance to start earning money on the side.
9. Develop and sell software
If you are searching for ways to make easy ways to make money online, this isn’t it.
Software development has become very popular with the rise of SaaS (software as a service) companies. The software can be as small as a browser extension that does one specific task or it could be as full scale as Adobe’s Creative Cloud.
Making money creating apps works similarly to software. The idea is providing a product that your target audience needs (or wants), and charging them a one-time payment or recurring subscription fee.
There are three popular payment models when it comes to software and apps:
Freemium: This means that customers get limited access to your software or app’s features. If they’d like to use more features, they can upgrade to a paid subscription.
Free trial: Customers get full access to your software or app for a set period of time, after which they’re charged if they want to keep using it.
Free software business model: The software or app is free for customers to use, but you earn revenue from advertising.
Software business models are some of the most innovative online, and for a good reason. They provide a steady source of recurring revenue to the owners, and over time they have the potential to become a saleable asset.
Because software is digital, it is also highly scalable. You can sell 1 copy or 1,000 copies in a day with no additional work. Due to this level of scalability, software is also labor intensive and can require a lot of customer support.
10. Sell your expertise as a consultant
Consulting is a great use of the skills you’ve acquired in school, work, or from your hobbies, and it has high earning potential.
Getting your first clients can be tough, but with some outreach on social media, and using content marketing to establish yourself as an expert, anyone can get started making money with consulting.
Don’t fall into the common trap of undervaluing your skills and knowledge. What seems easy, simple or obvious to you, can be amazing to others – not just in the skills you have but more importantly the end result and benefit you provide to your clients.
As you gain experience and confidence using your skills to help clients reach their career or personal goals, you can begin charging higher fees for your guidance and expertise.
Plus, one of the reasons consulting is the best business to start is that you can get started fast, with little to no startup capital.
Learning how to make money online is not just a dream
I’ve been working online full-time for 10 years. During the past decade, there has been a radical shift in how and where people work and earn money.
Five years ago, I could walk into any coffee shop, grab a coffee, sit down to work on my laptop – and I’d be the ONLY person doing that. Today, I can barely find a table at my favorite coffee shop.
The dream of learning how to make money online from home has rapidly become a reality of 1000s of people around the world.
This article showed you 10 ways to get started online. Some of the ideas will give you a faster path to revenue than others, but they will all get you there. You just need to work on finding focus.
Are you willing to step up, do the work, and make it a reality?
The post How to Make Money Online (While Working Full Time) appeared first on Hack the Entrepreneur.
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Hunter x Hunter: The Best Anime I Should’ve Never Watched...
As I began sliding into the recovery phase of having a tonsillectomy done in my twenties (a nice and constant stream of tunneling mashed potatoes into my stomach while my mouth makes the sounds of a sewage monster), I thought it would be a great time to catch up on some books and articles I've been meaning to read. As I finished stacking all of my books close by to me and pulled up all of the articles in separate tabs, I promptly said "fuck that noise" and did what any self-respecting procrastinator would do; started up my binge-watching service of choice (Shout out to Netflix for enabling me), and started up Hunter X Hunter. I boot up episode 1 and a couple minutes later the end credits are rolling and.... wow that was surprisingly basic as hell. The internet has been telling me to watch this show for years, but somehow everything was played by like a generic anime simulator. Our main character, Gon, wants to become a Hunter, find his dad, and get stronger along the way, find friends, blah yadda blah, that's it. That's the entire first 3 episodes, Gon and friends being factory manufactured anime boys. At this point, I was getting pretty confused. Had the sacred*, wise*, elderly*, and outspoken people of the internet lied to me? Was I actually just watching a regular anime that people had convinced themselves was great? Then this show, this fuckin show dares to have an entire 22-minute episode about walking fast in a straight line, and it's more entertaining than most animes' big budget episodes. What separates HxH from your typical Shonen show, your Naruto Bleach Ball Z if you will, is that it understands what most people love about these shows, but the creators of them are beaten out of doing thanks to manga production schedules (something we'll hop back to later). We get time to love the characters, not their power levels. I've only watched the first season so far (26 episodes) and I don't recall a single fight which Gon won by being stronger than his opponent, in fact, he wins maybe half of his fights if that many. Gon is a character who works through empathy, talking and reasoning with his enemies to get to his point of view. Before the days of One Punch Man, this was how you deconstructed the shonen genre, not by showing a character who can win every fight easily, but by showing a character who doesn't want to fight much at all. Gon never wants to fight anyone, he wants to ask them politely to let him continue down his adventures of being the purest, most innocent protagonist this side of the rising sun, and if you got a problem with that, you can go fall into a pile of broken glass and fucking rot watch One Piece or Fairy Tale or something. I binge watched all of season 1 in about two days, and something struck me as odd, there was no filler. Sure there a couple of episodes recapping the season up until that point, but nothing that brings the pacing of the series to a grinding halt. Usually, a Shonen series is littered with filler (content that isn't in the manga/adds nothing to the plot), which is how you get episodes like Goku trying to get his drivers license, or every single episode after the series finale* of the original show (over 100 episodes of filler waiting for part 2 of the series to start). If a show has no filler, that tends to mean that it's very short, but I had a gut feeling something was off, and that's when I found this.
Now, this is just a chart for the manga, but it harkens back to the same problem that Game of Thrones has run into with George RR Martin: Where do we go once we run out of pre-written content? In the case of Hunter x Hunter, it seems that they've made an ending specifically for the anime, but a lot of fans will never consider that the "true" ending. Animes frequently do their own endings for the series before the manga can catch up to them, but fans can almost always be sure that the manga itself is going to finish. With Hunter x Hunter, that may not be the case.
Being a mangaka isn't an easy job, and if you're asking me personally, it's probably one of the most strenuous jobs on the planet. Some of the biggest mangaka
sleep less than 6 hours per day
.
Some mangaka seemingly love this schedule. If you're a masochist like the creator of
One Piece
, Eiichiro Oda and only take a break once every couple of years, that's fine, but this isn't exactly a work schedule that screams "humane."
Togashi's
mind and body took a heavy toll
during the creation of
Yu Yu Hakusho
(his previous manga) thanks to the Shonen Jump work cycle. Every artist has their own struggles to complete, but ya know, I think Togashi reaching zero hit points may not be something I'm about, especially just for more chapters. Originally, I was going to write this article from a devil's advocate point of view, maybe argue something along the line of "It's bad to get invested in this show knowing I'll only get a real ending in 2027 if ever" and summon up justification for fans whining about their need for canonical closure (looking at you ASOIF fandom). Now that I've written all this out, it feels kinda unjustifiable. Although an author may make their livelihood off of their fans, they don't really owe us anything. It's their world and their time to spend in it, and if they don't want to spend it finishing a series that puts too much stress into their life, well thems the breaks. If we as fans feel we absolutely need an ending, maybe we should start our own series, who knows, we may actually finish them.
So with all that said, I guess I should finish the title of this “Hunter X Hunter the best anime I should’ve never watched... if you demand manga endings...if you’re a butt....is a good clickbait title....” yep, looks good.
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Procrastinating on Life
The sky slowly darkened as the sun set, ending what happened to be another typical Monday for Cecile. There she sat, on the couch next to her needy puppy, seemingly doing her coursework as she was cooking dinner in the kitchen. Except, Cecile wasn’t doing any work at all. Her relaxed demeanour while slowly typing away at her laptop was all a ruse.
While her head bobbed to the tunes coming from her unreasonably large headphones, she had a word document opened to her unfinished lab report on one tab and a google page opened on the other. “How to become a bartender in XX City” was typed into the search bar. Dozens of tabs were opened off to the side, opened to many pages explaining laws, licences, and requirements to become a bartender.
Was she really planning to become a bartender? Possibly. Was this random urge to search up jobs that were completely unrelated to what she was studying in university brought upon by the fear and anxiety of not knowing what she wanted to do in the future and that she was studying stuff she didn’t want to because she didn’t know what else to do? That’s also pretty likely. But who knows? Certainly not her. She was just having one anxiety-ridden thought after the other, wondering if anything she was doing would be worth it in the long run.
She was not really “good” at anything. She had potential, sure, but her lack of motivation and fear to do what she wanted held her back. Her marks in her first semester at University of XX were mediocre at best and barely passing at worst. She, of course, lied to her parents, telling them she was doing ok. In reality, however, she was constantly stressing about deadlines for papers and projects that she always left to the last minute due to the several hours of depression naps that she had everyday and other unscheduled crises where she pondered why she was such a disappointment . Why couldn’t she be a good student? Why was she always slacking off? She had so many more opportunities that other more deserving students could have yet there she was, wasting it all. She was a privileged kid from a family that always had enough to eat (though sometimes she had too much) and could afford the luxuries of having her parents pay for a lot of the things she wanted and receiving allowances.
She was aware of how much she had in comparison to others, which is also why she felt so guilty and anxious all the time. She could be using all the time not needing to work multiple jobs just to afford higher education to actually study and pass the courses her parents paid for or actually doing something productive. Yet here she was, dwelling on the past, wishing that she had the same drive and passion for learning creating that eighth grade Cecile had.
Eighth Grade her loved to draw, sing, read, and write. She was a try hard that would actually do her work on time, heck, even do it early, draw up her own comics, start endless amounts of stories that she hoped would one day get published. She had straight A’s and loved talking to her teachers about anything. She still had her anxieties, sure, but she loved showing others her creations. Her parents were proud of her. They used to brag to her relatives with such joy in their eyes, saying “Look! Look at what Cecile drew! Look at the awards she got!” Not to say that they don’t love her now but she could tell she was no longer someone they could brag about. At least not in comparison to her much more successful younger cousins who could somehow balance extracurricular sports and schoolwork and their social lives and yet somehow still manage to get good grades.
She was no longer the golden child and it hurt knowing that. She no longer knew how to achieve her dreams. How to go back to those days where she had the motivation to thrive instead of living day by day, hoping each day would just end so she didn’t have to worry about assignments that were due days ago. She had no reason to try anymore. The passion that drove her to become something, someone had dried up long ago, dashed by her own insecurities. Any music that was played by her now or art that was drawn was just a frugal attempt to revive her long dead dreams. She could never be a comic artist, right? That required actual talent. There are Twelve year olds that could draw better than her. That could write far more interesting stories. That could play instruments and sing more beautifully. There are people who actually deserve to be where she is right now. Hard workers that could do so much for the world but don’t have the chance because they don’t have the resources. Brilliant minds that should take her place.
Well, there’s no use in thinking about that now. Cecile closed the several tabs she had opened. She typed up the last few sentences of the thoughts that had been plaguing her mind. Thoughts sewed up into paragraphs that may never have the chance to grace another person's eyes or ears. Countless minutes spent writing more useless things to come to fruition. She thought of writing more but decided against it. She still had an unfinished lab report to write and a midterm to study for. But would she actually do what she set out to do? Probably not.
#vent#writers#writing#i'm procrastinating#not a cry for help#im totally fine#thoughts#probably need therapy
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Inquiries & Troubleshooting/6th Lab/Midterm
Inquiries/Troubleshooting
I L.O.V.E music and as a visual artist I knew that I wanted to incorporate color and music into this project; because I already double checked that I had the correct resistors and LED light with my Prof. I had all faith & hopes that I would successfully be able to execute my idea. I figured since I’m a master procrastinator, it’s not best to approach my project piece by piece; forgetting what discoveries were made from the day prior and losing the flow of creativity and vigor. My bright idea was to lock myself away for three whole days, immersing myself into the P5_computing_coding world and come out with a groundbreaking project piece…BIG MISTAKE!!!
LED-TO-BREADBOARD
· For my 1st attempt at the project, I couldn’t connect the led to the resistor; I recalled previously, times where even the professor wasn’t sure how the set-up wasn’t able to function, my remedy was to test the led light individually. I’ve found that a quick way to see if the issue may be the led light; connecting the positive side to the ground area. Swiveling the led would make the light turn on if its fully functioning.
o I noticed that the TX & RX section of the ground area for digital inputting stopped lighting up altogether; is it possible that the led light somehow damaged the socket considering only jumper cables are usually inserted?
o The led turns only when swiveled at a certain angle and held, I’m wondering if the socket may be damaged, hence ground is damaged?
P5 SKETCH-ILLUSIONS
· FRUSTRATION is the only word that continues to pop into my mind. I could not save my new file if my life depended on it. I googled solutions, skimmed P5s pages of user reference, I was able to save the other files previously but unable to tinker back-and-fro with various experiments because I was unable to save given files. Why am I unable to save my files?
· I logged in and out of P5 as a method of a quick-fix or reboot to no avail. None of the previous files from my P5 account that was previously shared and saved were able to be refurbished, what happened to these files?
LED-GUI
· Although the code for Arduino was accurate, it was unable to process the values to light up the led, I downloaded processor after I believed perhaps it was the order of operation, yet nothing happened?
· Although I ran the GUI (Arduino + processing), there was no action; I installed several variables to visually suggest uniformity yet there was always a syntax even when the code was immediately sampled as an exemplar to see if the code worked. I forward-double slashed everything yet was unable, even without that layer indirectly, to load the code to an actionable format.
· The error syntax states that there is an “unexpected declaration before ‘}’ token” I tinkered with various valuables to insert and remove yet there was always a form of a letter…back to the drawing board and more digging to do.
P5 SKETCH-SYNESTHESIA
· Recamán's Sequence was the perfect way to execute my idea, but the lining of numerals was challenging. I often used the forward slashes to see the layers of activity in sequence but there were times where I wasn’t sure the order of which to view or remove? Does sequence matter when viewing previous activity or the removal process?
· I wasn’t sure if using other shapes were messing with the integrity of the sequence, but I tried several shapes and numerical points for none-curvilinear or organic-like shapes and was unable to fully execute a free-flowing sketch. Kandinsky included overlapping lines and more edged shapes, how may I map this within the piece rather than layer a drawing an element over the canvas broadly?
· I tried to do opposite mathematical functions and inversed placement and computations of set numerals but mostly there were syntaxes errors, are the Recamán's Sequence only for even and more perfect mathematics?
· I included no fill in order to see the sketched rhythm being drawn along with the song yet I figured to include colorful strokes but the page fills way too quickly (even when the diameter was dived into the radius for example); I decided on the example and went with the arc, sliced at the diameter by pi to completely see the drawn sketch. Missing one bracket may leave the components open. I must admit, this reminds me of my failing days in math class where missing one decimal or forgetting the placement or placement value may completely render a unit of problem wrong. There were many times where I had to backtrack if the diameter evened out with the count of numbers (I had to move the count up to two or ++ in order to keep the rhythm.
· I was confident enough to attempt the midterm on my own (I wanted to challenge myself to learn the tasks before reaching out) as previously stated but didn't note such a "DUHH" factor of missing the last class because I was out sick. I didn't realize that I was missing a major component in simulating an interface that was interactive...the serial output. I assumed that the led lights and the breadboard would substitute well enough, I have a component of elements that I wanted interactive with sounds and visuals building off my previous creation of one of my favorite Artists Vassily Kandinsky but I wasn’t able to build on all shapes or use a mic to interact with the given sounds.
· Although I love that copies are made and git and github is made to save steps of activity, its really difficult to save and reopen files, I searched and google and for some reason, it seams that ill have to retype the script or completely render a new one; why is that sometimes we are and are not able to open or save a file on P5 unless copied?
· I wanted to load my own music; I tried to load the sound-file with my script and a path through .mp3 but the only options to do so I saw was in Java, is P.5 able to load personal musical sounds instead of the Java route?
· I never thought I would be doing such intense number crunches and problem word solving with theoretical problems; its really cool to see how my 7th grade…
Question: “why do I need to know about X & Y axis; when on earth am, I ever going to use this?
Answer: “Creative Computing Masters Course!!!”
P5 SKETCH-SYNESTHESIA II
· Because wavelength is on JavaScript, is that the reason I’m not able to visually load the signal from series?
· I decided to load the mouse variable “X” to draw the soundwaves since I was unable to layer and overlap different scripts
· I was unable to get the mouse moving on the top layer, which was the same issue that I had with my first sketches, I had to blind certain layer to see the process in action. I incorporated mouse X to draw along with the
***I wanted to load a Kandinsky picture as the canvas peripherals but the sketch file wouldn’t allow me to convert the file into a jpg***
P5 (Experiment)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKYlikFAV4k (SOUND MAZE)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mm2eYfj0SgA (SOUND FLOW)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAcXnzRNiCY (DANCING AS WELL)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l__fEY1xanY (“)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl_Gjj80gPE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZI1dmHv3MeM (“)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hA7G3gup-4 (DANCING WORDS)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqF9w9TTfeo vectors)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYnaBVBN QgnARQ (making sound)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3noMeuufLZY (images that can run across screen in a loop)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaN5At5RWH8&list=PLRqwX-V7Uu6Zy51Q-x9tMWIv9cueOFTFA&t=0s (using mouse to make/movable objects)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfmV2kuQKwA&list=PLRqwX-V7Uu6Zy51Q-x9tMWIv9cueOFTFA&t=306s (random dots populating)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nicMAoW6u1g&list=PLRqwX-V7Uu6Zy51Q-x9tMWIv9cueOFTFA&t=22s (Colour changes with dot mouse)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnS0YNuLfQQ&list=PLRqwX-V7Uu6Zy51Q-x9tMWIv9cueOFTFA&t=0s (Painting on canvas)
Java
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6K-wJQ77yQ (loop of Perlin noise)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAsaSkmbF5s (NA)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccYLb7cLB1I (NA)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbgDqyy8bIw (N/A)
Other Resources
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sTZQ0fa09c
https://tutorial.cytron.io/2019/07/26/simple-gui-to-control-led-on-arduino-with-processing/
Kandinsky art (Inspiration)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rO6M5hj0V-o&list=PLRqwX-V7Uu6Zy51Q-x9tMWIv9cueOFTFA&t=219s
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https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/hindi/bollywood/news/after-5-years-of-completion-in-bollywood-zaira-wasim-calls-it-quits/articleshow/70007516.cms
Pls read it's beautiful..
5 years ago I made a decision that changed my life forever. As I stepped my foot in Bollywood, it opened doors of massive popularity for me. I started to become the prime candidate of public attention, I was projected as the gospel of the idea of success and was often identified as a role model for the youth. However, that’s never something that I set out to do or become, especially with regards to my ideas of success and failure, which I had just started to explore and understand.
As I complete 5 years today, I want to confess that I am not truly happy with this identity i.e my line of work. For a very long time now it has felt like I have struggled to become someone else. As I had just started to explore and make sense of the things to which I dedicated my time, efforts and emotions and tried to grab hold of a new lifestyle, it was only for me to realise that though I may fit here perfectly, I do not belong here. This field indeed brought a lot of love, support, and applause my way, but what it also did was to lead me to a path of ignorance, as I silently and unconsciously transitioned out of imaan. While I continued to work in an environment that consistently interfered with my imaan, my relationship with my religion was threatened. As I continued to ignorantly pass through while I kept trying to convince myself that what I was doing is okay and isn’t really affecting me, I lost all the Barakah from my life. Barakat is word whose meaning isn't just confined to happiness, quantity or blessing, it also focuses on the idea of stability, which is something I struggled with extensively.
I was constantly battling with my soul to reconcile my thoughts and instincts to fix a static picture of my iman and I failed miserably, not just once but a hundred times. No matter how hard I tried to wrestle to firm my decision, I ended up being the same person with a motive that one day I will change and I will change soon. I kept procrastinating by tricking and deluding my conscience into the idea that I know what I am doing doesn’t feel right but assumed that I will put an end to this whenever the time feels right and I continued to put myself in a vulnerable position where it was always so easy to succumb to the environment that damaged my peace, iman and my relationship with Allah . I continued to observe things and twist my perceptions as I wanted them to be, without really understanding that the key is to see them as they are. I kept trying to escape but somehow I always ended up hitting a dead end, in an endless loop with a missing element that kept torturing me with a longing I was neither able to make sense of nor satisfy. Until I decided to confront my weakness and began to strive and correct my lack of knowledge and understanding by attaching my heart with the words of Allah. In the great and divine wisdom of the Quran, I found sufficiency and peace. Indeed the hearts find peace when it acquires the knowledge of Its Creator, His Attributes, His Mercy and His commandments.
I began to heavily rely upon Allah’s mercy for my help and guidance instead of valuing my own believability. I discovered my lack of knowledge of the basic fundamentals of my religion and how my inability to reinforce a change earlier was a result of confusing my heart's contentment and well being with strengthening and satisfying my own (shallow and worldly) desires. I discovered my disease of doubt & error that my heart was afflicted with- There are 2 types of diseases that attack the heart, one; DOUBT and Error and the second; LUST and Desire. Both are mentioned in the Quran.
Allah says, “ In their hearts is a disease (of doubt & hypocrisy) and Allah increased their disease. [Quran 2:10]. And I realized the remedy to this could only be attained through the guidance of Allah and indeed Allah guided my path when I lost my way.
Quran and the guidance of Allah’s messenger (PBUH) became the weighing factor in my decision making and reasoning and it has changed my approach to life and it’s meaning.
Our desires are a reflection of our morals, our values are an externalization of our internal integrity. Similarly, our relationship with the Quran and Sunnah defines and sets the tone of our relationship with Allah and our religion, our ambitions, purpose and the meaning of life. I carefully questioned the deepest sources of my ideas of success, meaning and the purpose of my life. The source code that governed and impacted my perceptions evolved into a different dimension. Success isn’t correlated with our biased, delusional and conventional shallow measures of life. Success is the accomplishment of the purpose of our creation. We have forgotten the purpose we were created for as we ignorantly continue to pass through our lives; deceiving our conscience. “And That the hearts of those who don’t believe in the hereafter, may incline to it (the deception) and that they may be well pleased with it and that they may earn what they are going to earn, (and it’ll be evil). [Quran 6:113]
Our purpose, our righteousness or terribleness isn’t defined by our selfish consumption, it isn’t equated by the worldly measures. Allah says, “I swear (by Al-Asr) by time (that’s running out). Verily, man is drowning in great loss, with the exception of (a few) those who believe , do good deeds and call on another to the way of truth and counsel one another to patience and perseverance. [Quran 103]
This journey has been exhausting, to battle my soul for so long. Life is too short yet too long to be at war with oneself. Therefore, today I arrive at this well-grounded decision and I officially declare my disassociation with this field. The success of the journey is dependent on how you take the first step and the reason why I am openly doing so is not to paint a holier picture of myself but this is the least I can do to start afresh and this is just my first step as I have arrived at the clarity of realisation of the path I wish to be on and strive for and during this time I may have consciously or unconsciously planted a seed of temptation in the hearts of many but my sincere advice to everyone is that no amount of success, fame, authority or wealth is worth trading or losing your peace or the light of your Imaan for. Strive not to surrender to your desires for desires are infinite and always leap out ahead of whatever has just been achieved. Do not deceive yourself or become deluded and find believability in the self assured biased narratives of the principles of deen-where one conceals the truth while knowing it or where one picks and chooses to accept only what suits his situation or desires the best. Sometimes we have deep flaw in our iman and we often cover it up with words and philosophies. What we say is not in our hearts and we seek every manner of excuse for clinging to it and indeed He is aware of the contradictions, He is aware of all the thoughts unspoken for He is All-Hearing (As-Sami), the All-Seeing (Al-Baseer), and the All-Knowing (Al-Aleem). “And Allah knows what you conceal and what you reveal”. [Quran 16:19]. Instead of valuing your own deceptive conviction, make genuine efforts to strive and discover and understand the truth yourself with a heart full of faith and sincerity. “O you who have believed, if you are conscious of Allah, He will give you the ability to distinguish right from wrong”. (Quran 8:29).
Don’t look for role models or measures of success in the displeasure of Allah and the transgressions of His commandments. Do not allow such people to influence your choices in life or dictate your goals or ambitions. The Prophet said, “A person will be (raised on the day of Judgement) with whom he loves.” And do not become arrogant to seek advice from the better informed but position yourself away from your ego and arrogance and rely only on Allah’s guidance, indeed only He is the turner of the hearts and the ones He guides, none can lead astray. Not everyone has the conscience or the conscious to recognise the what we need to know or change and hence, it is not for us to judge, abuse, belittle or mock such people. It is our responsibility to make a positive impact by reinforcing the correct understanding by reminding each other. “And remind, for indeed the reminder benefits the believers” (Quran 51:55).
And we must do so not by ramming facts down each others throats by abuse or hostile behaviour or through violent disapprovals but it can only be done through kindness and mercy that we can affect the people around us. [If you see that one of you has slipped, correct him, pray for him and do not help the shaytan against him by insulting or mocking him- Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab]
But before we do that we must remember to exemplify Islam and it’s understanding ourselves in our knowledge and in our hearts, actions, intentions and behaviour and then use it to benefit the ones lack grasp on the fundamentals of the religion in terms of understanding, beliefs and manners . And remember that when you will start your journey or to find your ground in His Commandments- you are going face hardships, resistance, ridicule or discomfort from others and sometimes it can come from people who you love and are the closest to you. Sometimes it can be because of how you have been acting previously or have acted all your life, but do not let it discourage you or lead you to lose hope in Allah’s mercy and guidance- for He is Al-Hādīy (The Guide). Do not let your previous actions stop you from seeking repentance, know that He is Al-Ghafaar (The repeatedly forgiving). Truly, Allah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves. [Quran, 2:222]. Do not let the judgement, ridicule, abuse, words or fear of people take you off from the path of you wish to be on or stop you from expressing yourself to the fullest, remember He is Al-Walīy the helper. Do not let the worry of tomorrow get in your way to reassess your life, for he is Ar-Ražzaq (The Provider).
It can be a tough, complicated and sometimes an unimaginably lonely path, especially in today’s time but remember
the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “There will come upon the people a time when holding onto the religion will be like holding onto hot coal.”
May Allah guide our boats to find its shore and help us to distinguish between truth and deception. May Allah makes us strengthen us in our Imaan and make us amongst the ones who engage in His remembrance and make our hearts firm and help us to remain steadfast. May Allah give us a better understanding of His wisdom and allow us to exhibit our efforts to alleviate doubt and error at individual levels and guide each other. May Allah cleanse our hearts from hypocrisy, arrogance and ignorance and rectify our intentions and grant us sincerity in speech and in our deeds. Ameen
-Zaira Wasim
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COPY WHAT MADE IN SILICON VALLEY
So many of the adults around them are lying when they say they like what they do. That word business is an important qualification—so important that it's almost cheating to append it like that—because once you get going, just as someone used to dynamic typing finds it unbearably restrictive to have to do whatever it is. The spammers are businessmen. Conversely, forcing someone to perform errands synchronously is bound to limit their productivity.1 And in addition to the usual clauses about owning your ideas, you also can't be a founder of a startup called Friendfeed. And the way founders end up in the noise, statistically. I think really would be a distinct node if you drew a tree representing the source code of applications? The founders will run engineering directly, and the spammers will just switch to mad-lib techniques for generating message bodies.2 Aggregators show how much better we could do than the channel. Per capita, large organizations accomplish very little. What if they fail? But it should be distributed equally, rather than something that has to be is a test.3
All the unfun kinds of wealth creation slow dramatically in a society that allows them, after taxes, to keep just enough of their income to match what they would have been too intimidated to start. Open source and blogging both work bottom-up: people make what they want. So there is a tendency to worry that it's sliding back toward becoming another Venezuela.4 When you're a kid and you face some hard test, you may as well do what he asks, because he understood his users really well. I wrote A Plan for Spam was on Slashdot.5 There may be tasks that we solve now by writing programs and which in a hundred years. Within months I was using it to make money writing a Basic interpreter for the Altair. Even more important than programmer productivity, in applications like network switches. Subject free! Grownups, like some kind of paternal responsibility toward employees without putting employees in the position of children. What if they fail?6 And since most startups make all kinds of mistakes at first, room to recover from.7
One of the things she's best at is judging people. Lately companies have been smart enough to realize this so far. I'm convinced, is a language where you can throw together an unbelievably inefficient version 1 of a program would be the ones you end up looking at when you get filters really tight. We tend to write the software controlling those flying cars?8 Instead of making a living. The other thing you get from work experience is an understanding of what work is, and the company dies. If you consider exclamation points as constituents, for example, if I don't find a probability for it.
Society as a whole ends up poorer. We tend to write the software controlling those flying cars? But even if we could somehow magically save people from moving, we wouldn't. That's the myth in the Valley. So part of learning to ski is learning to suppress that impulse. When you're working on language design, I think you have to reinvent stuff for yourself, and if you're smart your reinventions may be better to be overworked than interrupted. And yet he's a super nice guy.9
You may have had a few different colleges to choose between, but they don't realize it. Fifty years ago, the rich live more like the rate of evolution in programming languages and have a summer job writing software, you still read as a student, because if you start a startup with just one founder.10 The outsourcing type are going to be slightly influenced by prestige, so if the two seem equal to you, you probably shouldn't do it.11 The problem with starting a startup down into the noise. 16% false positives means that it is unsolicited, but that if someone is wise, all you have to like your work more than any unproductive pleasure. A top-ranked professional chess player could play ten thousand games against an ordinary club player without losing once. One way to mitigate this problem might be to actively plan your startup while you're still in school is to learn how companies work. So could it be that procrastination isn't always bad?
They know controlling the browser is one of the things you learn when you analyze spam texts is how narrow a subset of the language with hacks to make programs shorter?12 Because by sheer chance it happens to be loaded with words that occur more than five times in total actually, because of the novelty, that I was hoping they'd reject it.13 You might think they wouldn't need us. I know. It's a better place for what they want to hack the source. They can teach students about startups, but it only caught 92% of spam, it's still spam. Design This kind of thing for fun.
Content-based spam filtering is often combined with a whitelist, a list of potential exam questions and work out the answers in advance. Business schools like to talk about how to cure it.14 The most common measure of code size is lines of code every time you use it more than once. The company at this stage it is more a statement of intention than fact; it means, or how evidence should be combined to calculate it. Graduation is a bureaucratic change, not a biological one. I think most of them into a rush of activity. It's absolute poverty you want to start a startup for real you're not a genius, just start a startup instead? Fifty years ago, why wasn't everyone using it? How far will this flattening of data structures go? And if, like most people, who are still in denial.
Notes
Most expect founders to walk to. The best technique I've found for dealing with recent art, why are you even be worth it for you.
An influx of inexpensive but mediocre investors.
This prospect will make grad students' mouths water, but the churn is high as well.
So if it's the right thing to do video on-demand, because you couldn't slow the latter case, is deliberately intended to be important ones. It was revoltingly familiar to slip back into it. From the conference site, they're probably a mistake to believe, and that he had more fun than he'd had an opportunity to invest, it increases your confidence in a way to do.
They did better than the rich have better opportunities for education. Html.
They don't know of this essay began by talking about what was happening on Dallas, and a few people who want to be self-perpetuating if they want it to colleagues. Success here is defined from the creation of the density of startup: one kind that evolves into Facebook is a good deal for you? The Wouldbegoods. Particularly since economic inequality to turn into other forms of inequality, and credit card debt stupidest of all tend to become dictator and intimidate the NBA into letting him play.
Watt didn't invent the spreadsheet. But a lot of the reason the young Henry VIII and was soon to reap the rewards. What people who did it.
Deane, Phyllis, The Quotable Einstein, Princeton University Press, 1983. It's a case in point: lots of back and forth. And the reason the dictionaries are wrong is that they've already decided what they're going to have a notebook to write legislation that distinguishes them, because even if it's the right way. Those groups never have to put in the sense of mission.
In practice formal logic is not generally hire themselves out to be their personal IT consultants, building anything they reinforce the impression that the VC knows you well, partly because it was because he writes about controversial things. This includes mere conventions, like selflessness, might come from. The reason for the ad sales department. In fairness, I had no idea what most people than subsequent millions.
But the most important subject. But not all do. 5% a week before.
Then when we make kids do boring work, like storytellers, must have seemed a plausible excuse. There's a variant of Reid Hoffman's principle that if you like the difference directly. Convertible debt can be a niche within a niche within a niche within a niche within a niche.
So how do they learn that nobody wants what they claim was the reason there have historically been so many people's eyes.
If not, under current US law, you're using a freeware OS? If they're dealing with the founders'. It's unpleasant because the first digital computer game, you now get to be self-perpetuating if they don't, but historical abuses are easier for us to see the Valley, MIT Press, 1996. This is the most surprising things I've learned about VC inattentiveness.
Or rather, where you go to die. The number of situations, but this sort of mastery to which the top startup law firms are Wilson Sonsini, Orrick, Fenwick West, Gunderson Dettmer, and at least prevent your investors from helping you to remain in denial about your fundraising prospects. Economically, the main reason is that in New York the center of gravity of the acquisition into what it means to be something you can make things very confusing.
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