#crazy that i have to actually tag for spoilers… i never watch things within six months of the release

[newttxt]

this is opla!zoro, to me 🙂

[pappydaddy]

Ophelia (s.h.)

A/N: This is the first part (yay!) out of the I Wanna Be Yours series. If you notice, there is a theme to this: songs!! Pretty much this entire series is inspired by songs and music so I put together a playlist on Spotify (if you have Apple music, feel free to make a playlist on that but please inform me first!) and I might make one on youtube but idk. 

  Each part is going to have the songs I listened to while writing it, inspired it, or fit with the contents of the part. Please, if you’re going to listen to the playlist, don’t put it on shuffle while you read it because I worked really hard to get the order right!! I hope you guys enjoy this!! (Also enjoy my weird, wide range of music😂).

PLEASE TAKE A SECOND TO LOOK AT MY PINNED POST AND SIGN THE PETITION!!

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!OC(named)

Warnings: Angst, violence in some parts, arguments, body image issues, feeling belittled/feeling weak, SPOILERS!!(for all seasons).

Fandom: Stranger Things 

I Wanna Be Yours Playlist (Spotify)

This parts songs: 

This parts songs: I Wanna Hold Your Hand - The Beatles | Ophelia - Lumineers | Poison - Rita Ora | Less I Know The Better - Tame Impala | Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby - Cigarettes After Sex

IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST FOR THIS SERIES (TRYING THEM OUT) PLEASE DM ME OR JUST ASK!!

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

- not my gif -

 Sitting in the driver's seat of her car, she listened to her brother ramble on and on about only two subjects: this new girlfriend named Suzie and Steve Harrington. Every time he brought the ramblings back to his fluffy-haired older friend, she found her mind wandering. Steve Harrington had proven himself to be much more different than she had first perceived. When she had moved to Hawkins, she had thought him to be an egotistical asshole who only cared about a title and he had proven her right through his actions until one day when he suddenly just wasn’t. Suddenly, Steve was the boy who was dating Nancy Wheeler and hanging around with Jonathan Byers. He no longer was ‘King Steve’ (the king title being passed to Billy Hargrove), he no longer had Tommy H. and Carol as his two annoying shadows. Ophelia wasn’t quite sure what happened between the three, but it must have been pretty big. 

  Despite the change in his ranking within the high school, she still didn’t fully trust him. His past actions went against everything she believed in. She believed in kindness and loyalty, not getting into fist-fights, bullying and ignoring people just because you perceive yourself as better than them. Maybe that’s why they never seemed to become friends for the majority of the time he went to high school.

  “Ophelia,” Her brother’s call of her name snapped her from her thoughts of her history with her brother’s friend. “Are you even listening to me?” He asked her when she glanced at him quickly. She pressed on the brake of her car, getting ready to turn into the bustling mall parking lot. 

  “Yes, of course I’m listening!” She lied, looking back in front of her. 

  “Really? Then why haven’t you been answering me when I’ve asked how Steve’s been doing?” Dustin perked an eyebrow at his older sister. Sure, her and Steve Harrington were not friends through most of Steve’s high school career, but that had changed when Dustin had brought them together to help capture Dart, leading to Ophelia’s second go around with the Upside down. He had changed once again. With Nancy Wheeler dumping in at Tina’s Halloween party and then running off with Jonathan, she had seen Steve once again change his spots. After fighting the Upside Down alongside him, their friendship blossomed. 

  “Because, we’re about to see him so you can actually ask him for yourself, Dipwad.” She commented, trying to get Dustin off her case. All she needed was for him to know just how she felt about the dopey, hair-obsessed boy. Sure, their sudden and shocking friendship was not the last of Steve’s changing. Through their growing friendship, she had watched as he changed into the dorky, clumsy, parent of six. Sure, he lost his charm, but somehow, his lack of charm captured Ophelia’s heart. Maybe it was finally seeing the true Steve Harrington that made her heart skip a beat every time she so much as heard his name. Or maybe it was the way he developed a new charm that the girls of Hawkins have yet to fall for, but no matter how it happened, she definitely fell head over heels for him.  

  “I don’t want him to know I’m worried about him.” Dustin exclaimed, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head as he gripped his hat covered curls in frustration. Ophelia gave him a look as she pulled into a parking spot, turning the car off swiftly. 

  “He’s fine, Dusty,” She reassured him, pulling the keys from the ignition. “Why are you so worried about him anyway?” She posed the question. Sure, he had been a little bummed out since he hadn’t gotten into any schools he applied for, and he was a little upset about having to get a crappy part-time job, but it wasn’t anything to make Ophelia too concerned. Of course, it hurt her a little hearing him talking about himself the way he does, but what hurts her the most was the little game him and Robin were playing. Seeing him shamelessly (and horribly) flirting with girl after girl who ventured into Scoops Ahoy was poison to her heart. Each wink he gave the girls was like a needle injecting the next dose right into her valves, wanting to kill the beating organ. 

  “Between you and me, I think he’s lost his mojo a little, Leah,” Dustin whispered to her over the hood of her car as they climbed out. She gave him a look that told him that he was crazy, but he just challenged it with a knowing look. “He hasn’t had a date since Nancy left him and he doesn’t go to parties. He’s lost his confidence and, in turn, lost his mojo.” Dustin explained. 

  “He didn’t lose his mojo, Dustin. He’s changed, he’s grown and he’s trying to figure himself out and he hasn’t tried to get a date since Nancy left him.” She pointed out, trying to cease her brother’s worries. Sure, he’s flirted, but he hasn’t actually put himself out there. Ophelia knows the difference between flirting and actually wanting a relationship all too well. Her trusting nature had made her fall privy to people just wanting attention or sex, but on the flipside, her trusting nature had let her experience some of the most beautiful relationships - most of them which had turned sour towards the end, but none-the-less, were still a beautiful heart-break. 

  “I’m still going to worry about him.” Dustin remarked as they walked into the mall. Ophelia hummed, dropping her hand on top of his hat covered head, ruffling it slightly before falling to rest on the bookbag he wore on his back. She made him stop for a second as she dropped her keys in her purse, pulling her wallet out. 

  “Alright, you head over to Scoops, here’s some money,” She told Dustin, handing him a couple of bills. “Steve is going to try and give you free ice cream, tell him no and give him the money or put it in the tip jar. Trust me, it has been my entire summer.” She instructed him. Admittedly, her heart would soar like an eagle in the sky when Steve would push her hand full of money, insisting that it was on the house every time she wanted an ice cream, thinking that he might just actually feel the same way she did, her desperate heart filling her mind with hopes that would quickly cloud over with dark thunder clouds when he would send flirty statements over the counter at the next girl. 

  “Wait, you’re not coming with me?” Dustin furrowed his brows, taking the money. 

  “I will be there in a few, I’m heading over to work to check the schedule, and Brett said he needed to talk to me about something anyway.” She told him, stuffing her wallet back in her purse. Dustin narrowed his eyes at her at the name. 

  “Whose Brett?” He cocked his head to the side. He had heard the name before, most likely from one of Ophelia’s friends gushing about random guys while they were locked up in her room. 

  “He works with me, he’s also the captain of the hockey team - Melissa never shut up about him in grade nine,” She answered him, patting his shoulder. Dustin hummed at this, nodding. He looked at the bills she handed him, counting them to see how much she gave him. “I won’t be long, Brett usually writes my hours down for me anyway.” Told him before walking away from him and towards the escalators, heading towards Tower Records. Dustin didn’t pay the information any attention as he made his way towards Scoops. 

  His sneakers squeaked against the tiled floor as he looked around the mall in awe. He hadn’t seen it yet, only heard about it in Ophelia’s letters to him while he was at camp, but nothing she said could do the actual thing justice. The bright neon signs, the high-end stores. The sleek glass in the ceiling letting the sun provide natural light. The fountain, the hustle and bussle. It was great. Walking into the sailor themed ice cream parlor, he took in the blue and white striped wallpaper and the cheery sailor tone playing. 

  Steve was nowhere to be seen when he walked in, so he fell into line behind the two people standing at the counter. He waited patiently, gripping the now crumpled bills in his hands. He could see the girl behind the counter with short blonde hair what had the softest wave to it. Her blue eyes looked bored and unenthusiastic. “Have a nice day.” She drawled, her eyes vacant of joy as she handed the two people their ice cream cones. 

  “Thank you.” The girl smiled at the blonde before the pair of them left, happily licking their ice cream. Dustin smiled, knowing he was so close to seeing Steve again. The girl behind the counter pressed her hands into it, leaning on them as she turned her uninterested gaze on the beaming Dustin who showed off his toothless smile. 

  “Hi.” Dustin basically bounced in his spot from excitement. 

  “Hi.” She drawled, not nearly as excited as Dustin was. Silence passed between them as they looked at each other. Dustin’s smile never filtered and the blonde’s expression never changed. Dustin opened his mouth, gesturing towards himself awkwardly. 

  “I’m Dustin.” He introduced himself, thinking that Steve had told his co-worker all about him. He told almost anyone who would listen about how excited he was to get back home and see Steve so he expected nothing less from his older friend. 

  “I’m Robin.” The blonde replied, a forced smile on her lips. She really just wanted him to order his ice cream and move along so that maybe the day could go by faster. 

  “Pleasure to meet you, uh-” He told her politely. Much like she wanted him to hurry up, Dustin just wanted this to be done with so he could see his friend. “Is-is he here?” Dustin asked with a gesture of his hand, his bright eyes scanning over the space behind the counter. 

  “Is who here?” Robin asked, somewhat intrigued with this strange child. He was so happy and cheerful, his eyes bright. Just then, the swinging door leading to the backroom burst open making them snap their attention towards it. With a squeak of his sneaker, Steve was there, his eyes wide with excitement, just knowing that his friend was out in the parlor. 

  “Henderson,” He stepped away from the door, raising his arms in the air, a wide smile on his face at the sight of the curly haired teen. Dustin started to laugh, pointing towards the older boy as his smile grew, his eyes squinting from it. “Henderson! He’s back,” Steve jumped around as he rushed around the counter, trying to reach his best friend. “He’s back!” He basically yelled, pointing to Dustin. He glanced at Robin as if she was supposed to care. Robin clued into just who the strange child was at the last name. Ophelia’s little brother. Their cheery happiness was almost uncanny.

  “I’m back! You got the job!” Dustin exclaimed.

  “I got the job,” Steve matched Dustin’s enthusiasm, making a trumpet noise while pretending to play one. “Hey, oh!” He said as they performed an intricate handshake. Robin watched the two with raised eyebrows as they pretended to be fighting with lightsabers before Dustin pretended to stab Steve, prompting Steve to pretend his guts were falling out. They finished the handshake, looking at each other and laughing. Steve rested his arm on the cooler beside him, both of them sighing and coming down from their laughter. 

  “How many children are you friends with?” Robin asked, leaning forward on her hands more, eyeing Steve. He certainly wasn’t the same Steve she knew in high school. Steve looked at her, sighing before sniffling as his smile shrunk. Swiping his finger under his nose, he gestured towards Robin with his hand, giving Dustin a look. 

  “So, hey, uh,” Steve started, looking around the parlor, placing both his hands on his hips and kicking his foot out. The musical laughter of the girl he was almost positive he would see today was missing. “Where’s your sister? I thought she’d come in with you.” He asked, looking at Dustin. Dustin shrugged, looking around the parlor to take it all in. 

  “She said she’d be here soon, she had to stop by the store to check the schedule and apparently some guy wanted to talk to her about something there,” Dustin told him, once again not thinking much of it. “I think she said his name was like Brent or something, I don’t know - I wasn’t really listening.” Dustin admitted. Steve’s heart sunk slightly, floating slowly to the bottom of his feet like a paper falling to the floor. 

  “You mean Brett?” Robin spoke up, her eyebrow perked curiously. One thing about her not being in the popular crowd, she learned to observe and gather her information that way. She could clearly see how Steve felt about Ophelia. Whenever she came into the store on her break, his brown eyes would light up like a kid on Christmas. He would constantly bring her up. He could be scrubbing the staff toilet and find a way to bring Ophelia up. She was almost positive that Steve was head over heels for her.

  “Yeah-yeah, that sounds right.” Dustin nodded, not paying much attention as he scanned over the ice cream tubs in the cooler.

  “Oh man, that guy’s been hooked on her for like two years, I heard he took the job at Tower Records because he heard that she was going to be working there.” Robin informed them. Steve could have sworn he had died right then and there. He felt strangely possessive and protective over the eldest Henderson since she squared up against Billy and lasted pretty well until she ended up on the floor next to Steve, knocked out. The sight of her beat up face was the last thing Steve saw before he finally clocked out. 

  If he was being completely honest, he had developed a crush on her way before Nancy. He would always see her floating around the halls of the school with a bright smile, always saying hi to everyone. It was like she was friends with the entire school population. You’d be hard pressed to find someone who didn’t like Ophelia Henderson, but somehow, Steve hung out with the only two people who didn’t. They despised the girl. Thought she was too nice, too good even though everyone at school has seen her knocking shot after shot back at parties. When he had developed feelings for Nancy, he had thought his feelings for Ophelia were long gone, but seeing her taking no shit from Billy and fighting the Demodogs alongside him last year proved him semi-wrong, instead of a crush, he had a fierce need to protect her and keep her way from any guy who he deemed not right for her (which was pretty much all of them). 

  As if on cue, she floated into the parlor with a large smile on her face. “Hey everyone!” She cheered, walking up to her brother and Steve. Steve looked at her, his own smile stretching on his face. He could practically feel his face light up at the sight of her. She smiled brightly at him, rolling up onto the balls of her feet excitedly. 

  “Hey, Leah, Dustin said Brett wanted to talk to you, what’d he say?” Robin asked, curious to see what the development of the love triangle that was brewing. Only an idiot couldn’t see that Steve and Ophelia both liked each other and you would have to be living under a rock not to realize that Brett Morris also chased after the oblivious girl. 

  Ophelia smiled wider - if that was even possible - at the question, her eyes lightning up with excitement. Steve gazed at her expression, wishing he could have caused it. “He wants to hang out with me, as a date!” She exclaimed, walking between her brother and Steve to stand in front of the counter. Steve wanted to die at this news. Brett Morris was a loser - a scrawny, entitled loser who flew through girls like crazy. He had no place going on a date with someone as pure and sweet as Ophelia. He wouldn’t appreciate the beauty of her eyes, swirling with different colours and sparkling with light. Would he fully understand just how precious her laughter was? 

  “Really? That’s awesome.” Robin smiled at the excited girl. 

  “Yeah, I know! I have to go get a new outfit,” She gushed, whirling around to look at Dustin and Steve. “I’ll be back later to get him, do not hype him up on sugar, understand be Harrington?” She told him, not sticking around long enough to get an answer, instead rushing back out of the parlor. Steve pressed his lips into a fine line, his nose flared. Robin looked at him with an amused smile, ready for the chaos of a love triangle. 

***

  Ophelia sauntered back into Scoops, looking at the rush to see Robin manning the counter alone, Steve and her brother nowhere to be seen. “Hey, Robin, where did Steve take my brother?” She asked as Erica and her group of Erica clones walked out. Robin looked towards her, a stressed out look in her eyes. 

  “They’re in the back,” She told her, nudging her head towards the door as she walked towards it herself. Ophelia rushed around the counter, following Robin into the back room as she burst through the door. “All right, babysitting time is over, you need to get in there.” Robin told Steve walking into the room. 

  “Yeah, and it’s time for us to go Dustin.” Ophelia told her brother. The two girls stopped, looking at the two boys. Steve backed up to stand beside Dustin who was at the table, facing them. Their eyes were wide and scared, almost as if they were caught doing something they shouldn’t have been. Steve held a half-eaten banana in his hand, his cheeks pushed out with bits of banana in them, mid-chew. She looked at them oddly, knowing that nothing good could come of this. 

  “Hey! My board,” Robin exclaimed, whirling around to look at Steve and Dustin. Ophelia looked over at her to see her standing by a board on the wall that seemed to hold the Russian characters on it. “That was important data, Shitbirds!” Ophelia rolled her eyes at that. It wasn’t important data to her, in fact, maybe now that the board was erased, the game would stop and Ophelia could find the anecdote for the poison. 

  “I guarantee you, what we’re doing is way more important than your data.” Dustin told her, earning a glare from his sister. Steve nodded along, eating the rest of his banana and tossing the peel to the table in front of Dustin. 

  “Oh yeah, and how do you know these Russians are up to no good anyways?” She challenged, walking to stand in front of the table.

  “What Russians?” Ophelia asked, suddenly very concerned. Steve and Dustin looked at each other with startled looks. 

   “Your brother intercepted a Russian transmission using some sort of radio and they plan to translate the transmission and become American Heroes.” Robin told her. Ophelia nodded slowly, taking the information in. 

  “How does she know about the Russians?” Dustin whispered to Steve.

  “I don’t know.” Steve spoke through a mouth full of banana, shrugging his shoulders. His brown eyes were wide, his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline. Under other circumstances, Ophelia would think he looked cute, but not when they were trying to translate a Russian transmission. 

  “You told her about-” 

  “It wasn’t me!” Steve defended himself, cutting Dustin off. 

  “Hello! I can hear you, actually I can hear everything. You are both extremely loud,” Robin broke the news to them. “You think you have evil Russians plotting against our country, on tape, and you’re trying to translate it, but haven’t figured out a single word because you didn’t realize that Russian’s use a completely different alphabet than we do,” She rattled off. Dustin and Steve looked at each other in shock before looking back at Robin. “Is that about right?” She asked. Ophelia stepped up, standing beside her. If these two idiots were getting into something then so was she. They were pretty much a package deal at this point. 

  Robin lunged forward, trying to swipe the tape off the table, but Steve grabbed it before her. “Woah - Oh! What do you think you’re doing?” Steve asked her with a crazed look in his eyes. Ophelia raised her eyebrows at it.

  “I wanna hear it!” Robin bounced slightly, showing more enthusiasm that she ever does when doing her job. 

  “I do too.” Ophelia told them, walking over and pulling out a chair from the table, sitting down in the spot in front of Steve. Steve shook his head at her. 

  “Why?” Both Dustin and Steve asked at the same time, mostly directed to Robin. They could see why Ophelia would want to, since she had been by Dustin’s side since Will’s disappearance. 

  “Cause maybe I can help,” Robin shrugged. “I am fluent in four languages, you know?” She disclosed to them proudly. Ophelia looked over at her, impressed. 

  “Russian?” Dustin asked, intrigued. Robin leaned closer to him. 

  “Ou-yay are-yay umb-day.” She told him. Steve and Dustin looked excited, making Ophelia shake her head, slapping her hand to her forehead. 

  “Oh-ho-ho!” Steve exclaimed.

  “Holy shit!” Dustin smiled wide, thinking that she actually spoke Russian to them. Robin straightened up, her face blank while Ophelia was questioning her brother’s sanity. 

  “That was pig-latin, Digus,” She told him, making their smiles fall. Steve looked down at Dustin, slapping him with the banana peel that he had picked up for some reason, muttering ‘idiot’ under his breath, not wanting to admit that he also thought Robin was speaking Russian. Robin sat across the table from Ophelia. “But, I speak Spanish and French and Italian, and I’ve been in band for twelve years. My ears are little geniuses, trust me.” Robin argued her case. 

  “I also speak fluent French and a little latin and, don’t forget, I’ve saved you two before.” Ophelia reminded them, giving them a knowing look. Steve and Dustin looked at each other, unsure if they should let them help. Steve definitely didn’t want to let Ophelia help. It was too dangerous, it went against every fiber in his being telling him to protect her. 

  “Come on, it’s your turn to sling ice cream and my turn to translate - I don’t even want credit, I’m just bored!” Robin groaned to Steve, sliding the ice cream scoop across the table towards him. The bell from the counter dinged, the customer wanting service. Steve looked at her hand before looking at Dustin. The bell dinged again making him sigh and grab the scoop, placing the tape back on the table again. He glanced at Dustin again as the younger boy shrugged, not seeing how the two girls couldn’t help them since they have yet to figure out anything so far. Shifting his eyes to Robin, seeing her pleading with him, but what made him bend like a hot spoon was when he looked at Ophelia. Her big eyes looking at him hopefully but with just enough glare that dared him to try and say no to them.

  “Fine, you two can help.” He grumbled, making his way out the door. Robin and Ophelia cheered, Robin scooping the tape recorder up. Steve huffed, defeated. He didn’t like the idea of her being involved with this. The past two years, he wasn’t able to stop her from getting involved with the Upside Down because she knew about it before him both times; this time, he knew about it before her so he had thought he could keep her out of it, but boy was he wrong.

[we-are-what-they-grow-beyond]

some seriously self indulgent TROS thoughts that no one asked for: spoilers ahead!

(i’m gonna try tag every spoiler tag I can think of just in case anyone out there does care, but tbh this is really just for me lol)

the following is going to be a very ‘off the cuff’ series of ramblings so I apologise if it’s all over the place 

Overall.. I think I liked it? I left the cinema feeling euphoric, which is honestly all I wanted from ix. While there were very few immediate things that I took offence to as I was watching it [unlike TLJ] I have a bad feeling that some doubts about certain scenes and character choices are gonna creep into my brain in the next few days. Like the longer I think about it, the worse it’s gonna get.

The beginning was a mess. I think every single person who has seen it can agree on that much. There was so much exposition and heavy handed course correction from TLJ that it felt laboured and disjointed. The pacing was at this crazy breakneck speed.. we must have visited at least six different planets in the first fifteen minutes. I think that Poe’s ‘hyperdrive jumping’ [?] sequence really set the tone for the first act - just a constant barrage of different locations and characters.

And I understand that they had to do this. The events of TLJ left them no choice, they needed to establish every main character’s position [both physically and mentally], portray the current state of the war as well as rebuild a believable rapport between our core trio all within the first fifteen minutes if they wanted to give the last act any chance of sticking the landing. And to some extent I think they achieved this. In all that running around on different planets, bickering amongst the trio and the funny asides from Threepio - it really felt like something straight out of the OT. For the first time since TFA I cared about these characters. 

However. In doing this, they continually broke the cardinal rule of screenwriting; show don’t tell. While watching the first act I felt weighed down with information, like every five seconds another character would pop in with a monologue that sent them on another wild goose chase in which they had to find another hundred things that I would inevitably struggle to remember. ‘So now they need to go here, to see where Luke went, because he wanted to find this guy, who has this object, that will bring them to this other place, so that they can see Palpatine?’ It was so heavily reliant on dialogue alone that it ultimately lead to this sense of utter messiness. 

Where the film thrived was in it’s action set pieces. I adored the way the force was portrayed in this film. The scene in the desert in which Ben [yes Ben, but more on that later] and Rey pulled that First Order Transport out of the sky sent shivers down my spine. We have never seen the force used like this before and the amount of power Rey held was absolutely staggering. I loved it.

The saber battle on top of the Death Star was a visual highlight. Even though I felt like I’d seen most of it in TV Spots the urgency never went away. The moodiness of the water and mist cut through by the blue and red light was beautiful. 

The one shot of Poe, Finn and Chewie running through the Destroyer hallway felt like an echo back to everything that lies at the heart and soul of this saga.

We’ve been begging for more space battles and boy did we get a good one. When Lando and Chewie sauntered in on the Falcon with their thousands of rebel support ships set to the theme I was sobbing. There were so many little references in that one shot, from Rebels to Resistance to even Wedge Antilles - My heart swelled. 

But where I really broke was on Ahch-To. One of my biggest gripes with TLJ was its treatment of Luke. Every time I watch it again that shot of his submerged X wing infuriates me beyond measure as Johnson never chose to do anything with it [despite there being an obvious answer]. We finally got that scene in this film, the scene I was so desperate for; a callback to perhaps my favourite moment in the whole skywalker saga entangled with an apology for TLJ’s treatment of our favourite jedi master. Set to Yoda’s Theme, I felt like for a split second like I was watching Empire, and that meant the world to me. Thank you J.J.

The characterisation is perhaps the most divisive part of the film for me. It took so many risks, it’s going to take quite some time for me to properly digest them all. 

I want to start with our beloved Leia. The CGI, although perhaps not quite as seamless as some reviewers are making it out to be, worked well enough. With the knowledge of Carrie’s passing, it’s easy to poke holes in the performance - I found the beginning of her screen time particularly jarring, with her mostly addressing Rey with one word answers. I knew that there was supposed to be an emotional weight to all her scenes, as there she was, our princess, somehow miraculously on our screens for one final time. But I didn’t cry. I didn’t feel as if she was truly there in body or soul, and the emotional power of her scenes suffered as a result. Maybe in time, as we forget about the circumstances under which this film had to be made, this obvious detachment might fade away. And I sincerely hope it does, because the backstory they gave her is what truly deserves to be remembered about Leia in this film. The flashback scene of her training with Luke was glorious, the cgi really worked well here, and for the first time we saw Leia as a fully fledged jedi. This is something I could never ever have even imagined and I’m so pleased they did it, it would have meant so much to me as a young girl. As for her death, I believe they did the best they could with it. She ultimately died saving her son, protecting both the light and her family - two themes that have been so central to this entire forty two year saga. I don’t think they could have done much more. 

I was shocked to see Harrison in this, surprised isn't even the right word. But this bewilderment that I felt thankfully didn’t overshadow his integral role in the so called ‘Bendemption’ arc, in fact I think it really tied the whole thing together nicely. I have hated the idea of Kylo’s possible redemption since the moment we found out his true heritage during TFA, I thought it was too simple, too obvious. But the way in which it was dealt with here was wonderful. It showed Kylo to be entirely complex and ambiguous, and at the end of it we saw Ben for what he was, a young and vulnerable young man who ultimately made some terrible choices, the conflict in him was brilliantly acted. It was ultimately his parents that pulled him back to the light, not just Rey, and that fact alone saved this story arc for me. 

[I refuse to talk about the kiss. I hated it. It didn’t need to happen.]

Rey is a difficult one. Was the Palpatine bloodline convenient? Yes. Terribly so. Did it make sense story wise? Only kind of. But, I think it drew a definitive line under the nine film conflict which was ultimately at its core just Skywalker vs Palpatine, so in that sense I’m happy it happened in the way it did. 

[Sheev on an aesthetic level looked dreadful I thought. Proper rubbery. And the logistics of how he survived/who all those chanting followers were/where he got all those Imperial star destroyers from is extremely questionable. I try not to dwell on it.]

My mixed feelings about Finn and Poe cannot be overstated. The film did a good job at giving them more to do, we really got to see John and Oscar bounce off each other and at the end of the day, that is my kryptonite. However, Finn had little to no character development throughout the whole trilogy. All he did was figure out that he didn’t want to be aligned with the First Order anymore, deciding he wanted to fight for what is right. But the thing is, we saw him make that decision about ten minutes into TFA. It didn’t need to be rehashed again and again in every film. We wanted more - we wanted him to be force sensitive, we wanted him to form meaningful connections with others. On some level they delivered on that, we saw a little force sensitivity, he got his own back with Hux, he found his tribe in Jannah and the other deserters.. but it felt like an afterthought. Nothing was ever dwelled upon- even his confession to Rey [whatever it was] was completely forgotten about in the end. Finn as a whole felt like an afterthought. 

[Don’t even get me started on Rose, Kelly deserved so much more. I was embarrassed by the amount of screen time she had.]

As for Poe.. Oscar did a brilliant job in this, he successfully harkened back to our favourite scoundrel Han Solo stereotype and I felt that gave the trio’s dynamic a clear anchor. His interactions with both Finn, Threepio and Chewie as he kept crashing the falcon really made me laugh, it was nice to have some actual humour littered throughout, unlike the goofy slapstick stuff in TLJ. But.. the Zorii love interest and backstory made zero sense canonically. Zero. Aside from the ‘can i kiss you’ stuff being extremely contrived, there is physically no actual way Poe could have ever been a spice runner on this new planet that I can’t remember the name of. He lived on Yavin his whole life until he came of age to join the New Republic Navy, and from there Leia recruited him into the Resistance. This much has been documented in countless books and comics. J.J really decided to throw that all away so that they could what.. get that universal key thing? Did they even use it? Was there any other point of Zorii’s character other than that key? Not really. Don’t try to tell me that Kes and Shara’s son ran away from home to become a criminal for no reason. Just don’t. [He was still wearing Shara’s ring throughout and they didn’t do anything with it.. I wonder will we get more of an answer to this in the novelisation?]

[While I’m on the subject of the comics and novels, the decision to kill off Snap was brave. I really loved him in the comics and I’m sad he’s now gone and Karé is now alone. Not that any of that was mentioned but-]

Lando was used just the correct amount. I’m happy he got the ‘I have a bad feeling about this’ line, and I think any more screen time and we could have seen some holes in Billy’s performance. [sorry Billy]

Chewie had some great moments in this surprisingly. He was essentially just an extra in TLJ so it was quite refreshing to have him be a key player again. [I had forgotten about the clips from the trailer that showed him aboard the Destroyer, so when he ‘died’ I really thought he was dead for a moment and I was so angry that that was how he went lol.] But his reaction to Leia’s death was so touching and although it was a tad fan-servicey, I loved the fact that he finally got the medal he missed out on in ANH. It made me chuckle.

The same can be said of Anthony Daniels as C3PO and all of the other droids. I felt as though they really clawed them back into the mix this time - Threepio’s worrisome queries were wonderfully nostalgic and not to mention hilarious, and D-0 was a great new addition. The droids always brought a levity to star wars, it was their job, and they did this to great effect in this film. There was some questionable switching around of R2 and BB8 which I didn’t appreciate - there is absolutely no way that BB8 wouldn’t be Poe’s astromech for the battle against the Final Order but I’m willing to let it slide.. [also why was he on Tatooine with Rey at the end?]

It really sounds like I had more problems with this film than highlights, and I promise that’s not the case. In the end, it made me feel happy, like I was watching something akin to the OT again, and yes some parts of it were clumsy, but the heart of it was there. It all really comes down to whether or not you believe a film must be ‘good’ in order to be.. good. With something as big and sentimental as star wars I think it’s a lot more complicated than that. Return of the Jedi was an utter mess- but yet we all still worship it and the characters it gave us. Why can’t the same thing be said for TROS? It was clunky, but it was surprising, and powerful and fun. It gave us the characters we loved and some interesting new ones, some top-tier lightsaber battles and a conclusive ending to the saga that has defined so many lives. At the end of the day I think that’s all it needed to be. 

[artandteaandstuff-blog]

Strange Places - Part 11

Summary: Emma Swan is only just getting to grips with the whole fairy-tale thing, let alone the villains. She’s already defeated the Evil Queen. But the Evil Queen’s mother is a new story entirely. Not to mention Captain Hook. She will do whatever she has to do to take him out. Until one day she wakes up in an entirely different bed, only to find out she’s married to him. | Captain Swan.

Author’s Notes:

Tagging a few people who are/ were reading! If you want to be taken off this list or added to it, please let me know! Also if I missed you, shout at me!!

@pottlock @killian_whump @silmarilswan @katromine @like-waves-on-the-beach@the-selfish-heart @galadriel26 @elaine-spades@blackwidownat2814@spartanguard @lifeismadeup-ofmoments@superchocovian @linda8084@georgianablythe16@revanmeetra87 @swanslieutenant@swanandapirate@dreadpirateemma@ofshipsandswans@superchocovian @mayquita @laschatzi

Also this is under the cut because HUGE spoilers.

FF.NET

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 I Part 10

New Eyes

The phone rang out clear and loud in the house, echoing off every wall and every floor. Emma was only just walking into the kitchen when she heard it and stopped in her tracks. She couldn't suppress a sigh. This was the third time it had rang this morning and she knew exactly who it was.

"You're not gonna get that?" Lizzie asked, as she brushed by Emma's legs and ran into the kitchen. She moved so fast she was like a blur and Emma didn't quite register what was happening until she jumped up onto one of the kitchen chairs.

"Nope."

Then the ringing stopped, replaced with a beep.

You have reached the Swan-Jones household, Killian's voice rang out. Clearly, we are unable to come to the phone right now. Leave us a message and we'll get back to you.

There was a pause and then:

'Emma, it's me. Again," Mary Margaret said. "Look, I'm just calling to say I think it would be best to meet up. This is something we can't really do on the phone." Then her voice became softer, almost broken. "We are so sorry we didn't believe you. Please, don't shut us out. Let us in."

Emma scoffed.

"Don't shut them out!" Lizzie cried. "Let them back in!"

"I'm not shutting them out. Just… I just need time."

"Why?"

"Sometimes people need time."

Lizzie looked at her with those big, blue eyes. "... Why?"

She giggled at the look Emma gave her.

"Shouldn't you be doing homework or something?" Emma said, folding her arms, giving her a stern look. "Or have you finished?" She raised an eyebrow.

Lizzie shook her head vigorously. "I didn't finish but I had to stop."

"Huh. How come?"

"Because it's crazy dance time."

Emma stared at her. Crazy what time? Dance? What kind of insane ritual was 'crazy dance time'? Without any explanation, Lizzie grabbed her colouring book from the kitchen table and pulled it towards her. Emma waited to see if Lizzie would say anything else on the subject, but she just picked up a crayon and began to scribble a mass of dark green hair in one of the princesses in the book. Her own hair fell like a dark curtain around her, her chin jutted out in thought.

That was when the phone rang again. Emma groaned, burying her face in her hands, listening as Killian's message played out again.

"Uh, hey Emma. It's, uh, me…" David said, his voice hesitant. Emma marched across the room. "I'm just ringing to—" She pulled the phone out of the wall, cutting off whatever stupid apology speech he was about to make.

"There," she sighed. Placing her hands on her hips, she swivelled to face Lizzie.

"You can't keep avoiding them, Swan," came a voice from behind her and a thrill ran through her, shocking her. It wasn't a thrill of disgust, either. She turned and saw him walking towards her. "Especially because you'll have to see them soon."

"I have to?" She raised her eyebrows. "Who said that?"

"Henry." He made his way over to her with cautious steps. Now he knew she was from the past, he was being even more cautious with her. "Your boy rang this morning. We've been invited for dinner next week, if you'll be so inclined." Then he lowered his voice to a whisper, moving his lips to her ear. "He thinks it would be a good time for you to finally meet Violet."

"What are you whispering about?" Lizzie demanded, throwing her hair over her shoulder. "Are you talking about adult stuff again?"

"What?" Emma laughed.

"You're always whispering about adult stuff," she said, matter-of-factly, turning back to her colouring. Emma could make out her scribbling a princess's face a neon green. "I wanna know the adult stuff."

"I'm pretty sure you can't know the adult stuff until you're an… adult," Emma said, smiling. "It kinda defeats the purpose otherwise."

"You're always doing adult stuff." Then she tutted loudly. "I wanna be an adult. Then I can know the adult stuff. And I can stay up until late like you do."

"Oh, love," Killian sighed. "We don't stay up that late." He exchanged a look with Emma, rolling his eyes.

"You just pretend to go to sleep. Then you stay up and make weird noises."

"What?" Emma said.

Killian coughed loudly. "Alright, that's enough of that." He swept her off the chair with one arm and she squealed and giggled, kicking her legs about.

"No, daddy, no!" She shrieked, reaching forward with her arms. "I need to finish my colouring!"

"Noooo you don't."

"I do! I do!" She kicked her legs again and then giggled. "Let me go!"

"But then, my love, how on earth shall we do crazy dance time?"

That again! Crazy dance time! What was it? She tried to catch Killian's eye, but he was too busy setting a thrashing Lizzie on her feet. As soon as her toes touched the ground, she turned to him, colouring abandoned.

"Crazy dance time!" she all but shouted. She bounced up and down, clapping her hands together. "Yay! Yay! Yay!"

Killian jumped up and down with her. All Emma could do was watch the whole scene unfold, head tilted, her mouth slightly open. She hadn't seen Killian like this before; he'd been his usual brooding self since she'd arrived. But ever since he found out Emma was not in fact his Emma, but Emma from the past, he'd mellowed a little. He was smiling at her a lot more, that was for sure.

"I'll get the music." Then he crouched down to her level. "But you know…" he said softly. Lizzie hung on his every word, watching him with those big, round eyes.

"Yeah?" she breathed.

"All great dancers are in need of an audience."

Her eyes widened even more. "But… we've never danced in front of an audience before!"

"Alas, we have not. So we need the best audience available… Do you know what I'm saying?"

She nodded slowly, like she understood every word that left his lips. That makes one of us, Emma thought. She was becoming more confused by the second.

"Mr. Lamby and Mr. Bah?" she whispered.

Killian nodded solemnly.

"Alas, I shall get them!" she said and threw her hand up in the air before she ran in the opposite direction.

"Oh no, darling, that's not what alas means," Killian said but it was too late; she was already gone. He moved back to his feet and met Emma's raised eyebrows with a soft chuckle. "Ah," he said.

"Are you gonna explain what the hell that was about?" she said, trying to distract herself from her heart. She wasn't sure why it has started beating faster, but that's exactly what it had done as she'd watched him lower himself to Lizzie's level.

He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. If Emma didn't know him any better, she'd say he was embarrassed. "Crazy dance time… ah. Well, it started as a little bit of fun. We both agreed that Lizzie should learn to dance, should any balls come up."

"In… Storybrooke?"

"Your parents are fantastic at throwing a good party. At least, Dave is." He leaned on the kitchen counter. "We agreed that I should teach her, since I'm an excellent dancer."

"You are?" Everything out of his mouth was a surprise. She couldn't imagine Captain Hook getting out his dancing shoes.

"As are you." His eyes sparkled.

"I am?"

"You have that yet to come."

At his words, her heart flipped. You have that yet to come. The way he said it made her life feel full of possibilities. She'd worried that finding out the truth would make her feel the opposite, like she was drowning. True, there was a little bit of drowning, but she also felt a slight buzz of excitement at her future prospects.

She shook her head. She was being stupid. She may have found out he was actually her husband, but he was still Hook. To her now, at least.

"So why is it crazy?"

"Because she's six. And 'slow, boring waltz' doesn't sound like much fun for a six year old."

Emma had to give him that one.

Lizzie came bounding back into the room, two stuffed toys under her arms. They were both lambs with black button eyes and little ribbons tied around their necks. Lizzie pulled out a chair for each of them, whispering to them as she placed them on the chairs in turn. What she was whispering, Emma didn't know. One look at Hook told her he didn't have any clue either.

That's when she whirled around and pointed directly at Hook. "Daddy! Where's the music?"

"Oh! Right. Sorry, boss." With an 'oops' face directed at his daughter — their daughter — he made his way over to the stereo and played about with some buttons. Within seconds, a slow tune was wafting out from the speakers and into the room. Killian turned back around, his eyes on Lizzie. He held out his arms.

She ran over, her hair bouncing as she did so.

"Do you remember what to do?"

"Yeah! I stand on your feet like this—"

And she proceeded to shuffle onto his boots, her tiny feet hardly covering his. She grasped his hook in one hand, and his hand in the other. Then she looked up at him and he gazed down at her. There was nothing in his eyes except pure, unfiltered love. Emma wasn't sure why she was just seeing it now— it had been there all along.

"Are you ready?" he asked, his voice soft.

"I'm ready."

Then Hook took a step and Lizzie stepped with him, giggling as she did so. They took another step and then another and another, all in time to the music. The whole time Hook didn't take his eyes off the girl in front of him, not even to throw Emma a look. His lips curled up into a soft smile, and Emma found herself mirroring it. They both watched as Lizzie huffed out numbers, counting her steps.

"One-two, one-two, one-two…"

It continued on for some time but Emma didn't get sick of it. She joined Lizzie's audience halfway through, sinking into one of the chairs, watching them, eyes in awe. Captain Hook was not the monster she thought he was. She'd never seen him softer than in this moment, dancing with his daughter.

"You're improving," Hook told her. "I think the next step is the dress. What do you say, Swan?"

"She'd look beautiful."

"A true princess."

Emma could picture it, Lizzie and Hook whirling around the kitchen. Hook, in a royal tunic and Lizzie, in a sparkling white ball gown.

She almost cringed at herself. When had she gotten like this? She didn't care for ball gowns or dancing or Hook.

And yet…

"I need to finish my homework now," Lizzie said, stepped off Hook's feet.

"Leaving so soon?" Hook teased. "We were just getting started."

Lizzie shook her head. "Homework. Anyway, it's mommy's turn to dance."

Emma's heart jolted. "What?"

"Come on, mommy," Lizzie said and rushed over to her. She took her hand in her own and tried to pull her to her feet. Of course, she was no match for Emma.

"I don't dance," Emma said.

"Yeah you do." Lizzie frowned. "You and daddy dance all the time." Tug.

"Uh—"

"And it's really pretty—" She paused to yank on Emma again. Her next words were breathless with pulling. "And you look like a princess, mommy—" Tug. "And daddy looks like a prince— And I wanna see and I wanna watch."

"I thought you had homework?"

Emma threw a desperate look in Killian's direction and he quickly jumped to her defense. "Uh— Lizzie, I don't think Emma really wants to dance right now… And you should do your homework."

"Why, is she sick?" She said, disregarding the homework comment.

"No, she's not sick."

Lizzie gave up on her yanking when she realised it wasn't getting anywhere. She planted her feet firmly on the ground, folded her arms and glared at Emma with a look that reminded her completely of herself.

"Please," she whined.

Emma looked up at Hook and he just shrugged.

So that was how she found herself in his arms a few moments later. She placed one hand on his hook and he used the other hand to pull her closer, placed on the small of her back. It felt too intimate and she didn't know where to look except his eyes. But when she did look in his eyes, she felt like she could drown in them. They gave her that awful butterfly feeling, and that was something she couldn't afford to have.

At least Lizzie was happy. She sat down and clapped her hands, watching as they began to move on the kitchen floor, stepping in time.

He was too close and it was making her head dizzy. She swallowed and her mouth was strangely dry. Her stomach flipped as he pulled her even closer. If she had told herself a month ago that she'd be in the arms of Captain Hook, dancing, as he looked at her like he wanted to—

Like he wanted to what, exactly? She didn't know.

"I still don't know how to dance," she whispered, to distract herself more than anything.

"You're a natural."

He was smiling at her. It was a soft smile, so unlike the leering grin she had become accustomed to. This smile was full of promise. Love. The air felt thick. She was looking at his mouth too much. She tore her gaze back up to his eyes to find him staring at her with a certain wonder. He moved his hand from her back up to her face, brushing the back of it across the soft skin of her cheek. She closed her eyes at the touch, wondering why she was doing that, but being unable to stop herself.

When she opened her eyes again he was looking at her. His eyes dropped down to her lips, mouth slightly parted, breath coming quicker. They moved closer together simultaneously and Emma was screaming at herself what are you doing?

"Eww, please don't kiss," Lizzie said and they both jumped. Emma hadn't realised they'd stopped dancing. "That's gross and I'm going to do my homework." She hopped down from the chair and disappeared out the kitchen without another word.

Emma expected Hook to drop his arms and spring to the other side of the room, but he didn't. Neither did she. They were watching each other again. Then Hook let out a gentle laugh.

"I'm sorry. She can be a little…"

"Try full on." But the words were accompanied with a chuckle.

"Yes." He smiled, meeting her eyes again. That's when she realised they were still holding each other. He must have realised it too because he took a hasty step back, clearing his throat. He seemed so much… shyer. Nervous, even. Where was that confident man who believed he was God's gift to Earth?

"How does this work?" she asked, suddenly.

He blinked at her. "Sorry?"

"How does it work? You— me— our marriage? Everything?"

He quirked an eyebrow. "I thought we'd had this conversation?"

"Yeah we have but I was trying to… manipulate you." She dropped her eyes, surprised at the surge of shame she felt. She didn't think she'd ever feel shame where Hook was concerned. "But I mean how does this work? You were so… flirty and— and arrogant." She almost winced at the words. She didn't want to offend him. "And now you're so..."

He laughed. "I'm still — how did you put it? — flirtatious, darling." He looked at her with his hooded eyes as if to prove a point. "But I'm a gentleman and you're not my wife… yet." He shook his head. "All I mean is I don't wish to make you uncomfortable, Emma. Whether you had amnesia or whether you were from the past, that was never my intention."

"So you just… changed."

"I told you who changed me." His eyes were soft.

"But I don't understand," she said, gently. "I don't understand how or why. It's just, I haven't seen it, y'know. Other Emma, future Emma, she can believe it because she's seen it."

"Why do I have the feeling I'm going to need a sizeable glass of rum for this conversation?"

Ten minutes later they were sat on the sofa, two glasses of rum placed on the coffee table in front of them. They were sat side-by-side, but Emma kept her distance. She didn't need another moment like earlier where she almost kissed him…

No. She didn't almost kiss him. Lizzie had read the situation entirely wrong. It wasn't the first time kids had seen something that wasn't there.

"It was a long process," Hook said. "It took you a while to trust me. I told you we'd shared a kiss in Neverland, yes?" She nodded. "We all returned to Storybrooke safely but alas, safety is not a luxury for people like us and everyone was ripped from this land and taken back to the Enchanted Forest. Then, when another curse was on the way, I came to find you."

"You did?"

"That's how I proved to you that I'd changed." He took a sip of his rum. "Not that that was why I did it. I didn't find you to prove something, I did it because I knew I was in love with you." He said the words so matter-of-factly, it made her heart flip. She hated it; her body betraying her.

"What about now?" she asked in a small voice.

He frowned at her. "You're my wife. Of course I love you."

"No… no, I don't mean you. I mean the other you." She blushed to say the words. "The villain-you."

"Oh." He smoothed his fingertips over his lips in thought. "Let me see. What state did you leave me in?"

"You're in prison. Well, you were. For shooting Belle, I mean."

"Ah," he murmured and his eyes glassed over with memories. "I remember." He paused, thinking and she waited patiently. Finally, he looked at her. "What am I feeling now? Basic, simple attraction. At least, that's what I'm telling myself, but I know there's potential for more." He gave a slightly bitter smile. "I became excellent at turning it off, you know."

She frowned. "Turning what off?"

"My feelings. Not properly, no-one can do that, though I wished I could. Especially because of the guilt I felt."

Emma's eyes widened. "Guilt?"

He set his rum glass back down on the coffee table. "Emma… at that point in time, I'm still telling myself I'm in love with Milah. That's why I'm doing these things; that's why I shot Belle. As strange as it may seem to you, it's because of love. I remember spending many nights laid awake on my ship, wondering why it was your face I could see when I closed my eyes, and not Milah's. The guilt consumed me."

Silence. She rubbed at the goosebumps on her arms.

"I had no idea."

He shook his head. "I don't expect you would have."

They sat in silence for a moment. And then—

"When—" She faltered, feeling a flush rising to her cheeks.

He flashed her a look. "When?"

"When did you fall..." She trailed off again but he got what she meant.

"In love with you?" He sat back on the sofa, his eyes swimming with memories again. "Neverland. After that kiss, I knew. That's all it took, one kiss. I'd suspected for a while. And then we went to the echo cave and I was forced to admit it to myself. And to you." He frowned.

She hung on his every word, unable to keep her eyes off him.

"And when—" She swallows. "When did I…"

"Fall in love with me?" She nodded. "That, I don't know. I suppose I have some idea, but I imagine it was slow, steady, not all at once like me. I let it consume me; you fought it for as long as you could."

Sounds like me, she thought, shifting uncomfortably on the sofa.

"But I fought for you," he continued. "And I followed you for weeks, making eyes at you like a lovesick puppy." He shook his head. "It was ridiculous, what I became. I would have sold my soul if it meant you'd feel as I did."

He laughed softly and she found herself smiling with him.

"And then we got married."

"Well, it took a few years. But yes, we did."

"And then we had Lizzie."

He smiled. "Aye."

She picked up her glass of rum and took a sip. "I can't imagine myself ever having more children, not after Henry." She frowned. "But somehow I did?"

"That was, perhaps, my fault," he said, and his voice was barely audible. She looked over at him. "I— uh—" He scratched the back of his head. "Wanted a child more than anything in the whole world. After talking, after some time, so did you."

"Huh."

They talked like that for a good few hours, Emma asking questions and Killian answering as patiently as he could. It felt good to talk to him, rather than sulk and ignore him. She felt like she was seeing a side of him she'd never seen before. Of course, she hadn't.

And that was when she felt it.

His love for her. It came through with every word he said, with every question he answered. And for once, it didn't scare her.