#crazy axolotl mutuals

[ryobitheaxololt]

Om nom nom! How are you today? Have you eaten something? Had some water? Do you need to unshrimp and stretch?

Nomnom!

I'm good! Already eaten and drinked wawa!

[beetrootbuggystuff]

If a tree falls in the forest

and there's no one around to witness it, did it really fall at all?

wrote a silly one shot for my friend's super epic gravity falls au!!!! @dorykinny @euclydtwins this fic might make a bit more sense once they release their own fic about the au!! but it should be understandable enough!! also first post, lets go!!

All was quiet in the Mystery Shack, which was in fact an oddity, so at least that was in character for the so called "sleepy" little town in Oregon. The summer had just begun and already Dipper Pines had monster hunting on the brain, much to the dismay of his sister Mabel, who had been sufficiently paranormal-ed out, and simply wanted to spend the break relaxing with her friends. And by relaxing, of course she meant playing love God to any poor sap she could get her glitter covered hands on. But that was all par for the course. Gravity Falls was chaotic, but they had faced that. That had owned it, in fact. And now that they were back, one year later, nothing could stop them and nothing would surprise them.

Until of course they came to the Mystery Shack to discover Bill Cipher had been living there in some scraggly human form, sent there by some weird squishy pink creature for good behaviour in therapy.

Oh, and he had kids to... for some reason. Dipper was yet to figure that one out yet, as he was more preoccupied by the fact that bill's kids looked an uncanny amount like him and Mabel. Sure, if he talked to Bill, everything could be answered right away, but he'd rather eat his own pants before talking to that sorry excuse for a mouldy corn chip.

It seemed like everyone had gotten over the initially shock pretty quickly, apart from Dipper of course. Ford was still very wary of Bill and the kids, but he tried to keep the interactions professional, avoiding them where possible but making polite conversation when needed. Ford rarely interacted with Bill, almost as if Bill had been purposely avoiding Ford as well. Whatever they had going on, it was mutual.

Stan still hated Bill more than anything, but since he was stuck in his new, basically useless, human form, Stan basically paid him no mind, even occasionally "torturing him" with tough tasks. But with the kids, there was a different side to him. To Stan they were just children, kids similar, if not the same, as his own grand niece and nephew. He had even grown vaguely fond of them.

Mabel at first was extremely cautious of them, until she noticed one of the twins had a cape thingy with an almost identical pattern to one of her favourite sweaters and a personality to match her own. She had to be besties with the "creature" (as Dipper referred to them as, refusing to call them human, something they clearly were not) since she had first seen the kid. Mabel was so excited in fact that she had said something along the lines of "she's like the twin I always wanted!", and Dipper had to pretend like that didn't feel like a knife in the heart. Mabel still at least had the sense to be wary of Bill, but treated the other twin as if he were harmless as well, which, having seen such a mischievous look in his eyes (or eye rather, Dipper wasn't sure if Bill or the twins had a second eye hidden behind their side bangs) concerning enough to concern even ol' rule breaker Dipper. Sure the twins and even Bill hadn't done anything wrong yet, but it was Bill! Dipper felt like he was going crazy, how could Ford just turn up his nose whenever he walked by Bill, seriously, how was that all he was doing?? Ford treated Bill more like a bitter ex than a demon that tormented his mind and body (and Dipper didn't really want to think about the implications of that).

Most shocking to Dipper was Soos and Melody because they JUST LET A DEMON INTO THEIR HOUSE ON A WHIM! He couldn't help but be a little mad at them honestly, because who in their right mind would do that?? Strange, anthropomorphic axolotl guards show up at your door with a humanised version of your mortal enemy like "He wants to stay here, it's for therapy or whatever", and you just let him into your house? Sure he has kids now, somehow, but they look EERILY similar to the so called mystery twins, so of course Dipper was freaking out.

Anyways, where was he? Oh right, quiet day for the Mystery Shack, yada yada. Dipper had invited Pacifica over to catch up. He'd been pretty bored in all honesty, he didn't have to help out with tourists since Melody and Bill (eugh) had that covered. His Grunkles were off doing who knows what, which he was still a bit bitter about, since they claimed they were gonna put their monster hunting aside to spend time with them (or at least include them somehow), and Mabel was upstairs, having a tea party or something with those... things.

He and Pacifica talked for a couple hours or so before she had to leave, discussing life, new friends, new commitments, lousy jobs, local town legends and local town gossip, y'know, regular teen stuff. He escorted her to the door, and before she left, he questioned her.

"Hey Pacifica?"

"Mmh?" She hummed absent minded-ly, sending a message on her phone.

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

She chuckled as she slid her phone into her pocket, "I think you know the answer to that."

Dipper chuckled back and scratched his neck before clarifying, "No, I mean like... Everyone is just so normal about the 'you-know-whats' staying with us. I just don't get it, how am I the only one who's uncomfortable with this?"

She crossed her arms, "Yeah, I don't get it either. Like, I hate my dad, but I'm still not over what that yellow jackass did to his face," Dipper tried not to look shocked, hearing someone as classy and well-groomed as Pacifica saying something so crass, she stared off into the distance, fiddling with her sleeve, agitated, "Not to mention everything else that happened to me during... yeah."

"Yeah..." Dipper gave her a solemn smile.

She shook her head free of the thoughts, "Anyways, if ever get sick of this freakshow, hit me up. Mcgucket has been letting me crash at the mansion whenever my parents get pissy. I'm sure he'd love to have you hanging around," she brushed a stray hair aside, her face going a slightly pinky shade which Dipper swore he hallucinated, "I wouldn't mind it either."

Dipper felt his face heat up as he became aware of how sweaty he was, "Oh y-yeah totally! I would love that, it's a date- I MEAN, NOT DATE, Y-YOU KNOW? I JUST MEANT-"

His stammering was cut short by Pacifica flicking his nose. It bobbled like one of those door stoppers.

"You talk too much," she declared, lovingly.

Dipper rubbed his nose, smiling like an idiot, god was he happy Mabel wasn't there to ruin the moment, "And you've been spending too much time with Grenda."

"Yeah whatever," she muttered smiling. She turned and headed out the door, "Stay safe, dork!" she called out.

Dipper waved goodbye, closed the door, and almost collapsed. He felt like he was going to explode, but like, in a good way. He pulled out his journal, cutting his vaguely obsessive thoughts about Pacifica short. He had other things to do today.

Earlier in the week, Ford and him had gotten into the discussion about extinct creatures in Gravity Falls, since great uncle Ford had brought up the point that most anomalous creatures in Gravity Falls could be classified as endangered. After describing a few creatures, Ford got to one Grunkle Stan had sworn he'd seen.

"-and there are 'Stack-ups', they basically look like giant glowing tetris blocks-"

"Tetris blocks, huh?" Stan joined in, walking out from the kitchen, "I swear I've one of those things picking a fight with the golf cart or something. You sure they're extinct?"

"Are you sure that's what you saw?"

Stan took a sip of his coffee, or at least what Dipper thought was coffee.

"I would think a giant glowing block would be hard to miss!" Dipper added, "What else should we know about it?"

Ford scratched his chin, "Ah shoot, the journal's down in the lab. Well, it behaves exactly how you'd think it does. They, for lack of a better description, like to stack."

"And then what, once you get them all lined up, the disappear into pixels or dust or something?" Stan chuckled.

"Yes actually."

"Oh, seriously?" Stan sat down at the table with them, now weirdly invested in this nonsense.

"Also Stanley, there's a good chance that the block wasn't 'picking a fight' with the golf cart, but was instead trying to mate with it."

An involuntary 'ew' escaped Dipper's mouth.

"Yesh," Stan lifted his mug to his lips again and before he took another sip, muttering, "Remind me to hose that thing down, will ya?"

"Or get Cipher to do it," Ford eagerly added.

"Oh yeah! Right after I get him to polish my shoes with his tears!" Stan let out a roar of a laugh. Ford returned it with a laugh a bit less hard, but still mighty.

Dipper tried to hide the distain from his face, how do they just laugh about such serious things, like he's harmless? He tried to bring the conversation back to the weird creatures, "Do you know where these stack-ups come from?"

"No, unfortunately, I've been a bit stuck with that," he said, seeming vaguely annoyed, "I have no idea what came first, the creature or the game. Was some game designer enamoured by their beauty, and decided to make it real, or instead, did some experiment go wrong, leaving these strange creatures to wonder around Gravity Falls."

"Well considering Tetris came out after you got sucked through the portal, I would think it's the first theory," Dipper reasoned.

"Yes, but what if they aren't of this dimension? Maybe tetris was already decades old in realm they're from."

That comment left Dipper a bit shocked, a bit uncomfortable, as he remembered the potentially alternate universe version of himself that was currently begrudgingly restocking the merchandise in the gift shop.

Dipper rubbed his arm and tried to continue the conversation once more, "Well, I'm sure they're easy enough to catch right? Give me a week, and I probably would have found one already!" Dipper said with an almost real level of confidence.

"Ha!" Grunkle Stan yelled, slamming his hand on the table, making his coffee mug jolt a bit, "five bucks says you can't!"

"What!? Five bucks? I'm not risking my life for five bucks!" Dipper exclaimed.

"Hmmm how about ten?"

Dipper raised his eyebrow unimpressed.

"Alright," Stan said thinking, drawing out the 'i' sound, before hitting the table again and point his finger at Dipper, "30 bucks! Final offer!"

"Make it 35, and you're on!"

"Ugh! You drive a hard bargain. Fine! 35 bucks says you can't catch that horny cube thing in a week!"

"Oh you are so on, old man!" Dipper stood up on the chair and placed one foot triumphantly on the table, pointing, "Prepare to eat your words, Grunkle Stan!"

Great Uncle Ford sighed, "Okay, one, feet off the table, two, mind your language, Stanley, and three, you can't send a kid off on a monster hunt for 35 dollars, that's ridiculous!" He paused for a moment, "He'll go on a monster hunt for 100 dollars."

"WHAT!?" both Stan and Dipper exclaimed, obviously with different emotions backing the yell.

And so that was that, that had become Dipper's mission: Catch a Stack-ups in a week, simple enough right? Luckily the challenge only begins when he heads off for his first hunt, so he had been holding off until he had found the perfect night to start.

And so, once again, for the third fucking time: the Shack was quiet. Until of course Dipper bounded up the stairs, after having said goodbye to Pacifica. He swung the door open, scribbling up a plan, nose buried in his book, and began to ramble; "Okay! So remember that bet I made with Grunkle Stan about the Stack-Ups? I figured out today would be the perfect day! There's hardly any wind, I triple checked, and the sun will set at the optimal time, meaning it should be dark enough for us to see the glow of the Stack-Ups BUT still bright enough for us to see our surroundings! If we start now, we can have the golf cart fully decorated and all the traps set-" As he eagerly turned his book around to showcase his trap design, his voice cut off upon noticing not only Mabel staring at him, but those inhumane twins. He had totally forgotten they were with Mabel.

Dipper closed his journal and pointed at them, wiggling his finger, "So, um... What's going here?"

The twin that had been on the floor close to Mabel smiled brightly, "Mabel has been teaching me how to knit!"

Her name was Shooting star, and she had round fluffy hair that had a light blonde to pale pink gradient. She wore a strange cape-like poncho thing, and on her limbs, wore full length gloves and tights that blacked out her arms and legs, looking eerily similar to Bill's in his triangle form. She had only one visible eye, as the other (if there was another) was hidden by side bangs.

"Oh okay," Dipper said uncomfortably, feigning polite interest, "Uh, how's that been going?"

Mabel cut in, "She has been doing AMAZING!" which elicited snort from the other twin.

His name was Big Dipper, annoyingly. He had stupid pointy light blue hair with side bangs similar to Shooting Star, and a pair of fingerless gloves in a matching colour. He had a weirdly fancy overcoat that he paired with an sharply shaped baseball hat that floated just above his head (if the name wasn't bad enough, he stole the hat thing!).

Dipper balled his fist, realising that Big Dipper (or 'Biggie', as dubbed by Mabel) had been sitting on his bed. He didn't even want to think about all the weird interdimensional germs he might catch from those two.

"And is there a reason you're on my bed?" Dipper questioned.

"Well it's a place to sit, isn't it?" 'Biggie' responded.

"Uh well, could you, like, sit somewhere else or?..."

'Biggie' huffed, stood up and plopped onto Mabel's bed, she didn't seem to mind, not as much as Dipper, anyway.

Dipper tucked his journal in his vest and continued, "So are you gonna help me, Mabel? I have to get everything set up before sun down!"

"I'm sorry Dipper," she set her knitting needles in her lap, "But Candy and Grenda are coming over for a sleepover! I swear I told you."

Dipper slapped his forehead, "Ugh! Right, that was today. B-but you can still help me set up! We gotta paint the cart. There's still time before they arrive, right?"

"Yeah, but I'm giving Shooting Star her bi-weekly knitting lesson! We can't cut it short!" Mabel held up her sweater she was knitting, it was a combination of a specific blue, purple and hot pink arranged in a stripe.

"You've had like, three other lessons this week," Big Dipper chimed in.

"I don't think 'bi-weekly' means what you think it does," Dipper mumbled.

"I mean, it's not like the extra lessons are helping," Big Dipper continued, "Just look at that mess!"

He pointed to the sweater-adjacent lump in Shooting Star's lap that had one too many arms (at least the technique was good?).

Shooting Star was clutching her knitting needles so tight, she could snap them in two, "Oh knock it off Bigs, please?!" She chucked her project aside and stood up, "Why are you even up here, anyways!? All you've been doing all day is whining and making fun of me! Can't you do something else?!"

"Well no, I can't actually!" Big Dipper stood up too, "I can't go out without supervision, the TV's been hogged all day by Human Dipper and Blondie, and I can't even restock the gift shop since my STUPID SAUSAGE FINGERS keep breaking all the snow globes! SO, NO! I literally can't do anything else!"

"You don't have to be mean!"

"I'm not being mean! I'm joking!"

"Well you're horrible at jokes!"

As the two twins fought, Dipper leaned down to Mabel murmuring, "Uh, can I talk to you outside for sec?"

She stood up, dusting herself free from the wool, glancing over at Shooting Star and Big Dipper, "Oof, gladly."

Dipper closed the door on the other set of twins, he and Mabel stood just next to it, close enough to still here the others bickering.

"Mabel, I don't want to sound like a broken record, but..." Dipper whispered, "But is it such a good idea to spend so much time with those two?"

"Oh c'mon!" Mabel's voice was way louder, "I've been with them all week and they've been fine! Sure, Biggie Cheese over there is kinda mean and Shooting Star has her moments, but so far that's it! Heck, we're friends with Pacifica and Gideon now, they were wayyy worse."

"But they're Bill's kids!"

"I don't even know if that's true though! Something tells me they're adopted."

"Yeah, no kidding. Who would want to have Bill's babies?"

"Hey don't assume, Bill could have carried them!"

Dipper shuddered, "Okay, I-I don't wanna talk about this anymore." He pushed the door open again and walked through, Mabel following behind him.

The two were still bickering, but upon seeing Dipper re-enter, she yelled out, "Actually! Here's an idea! Why don't you go monster hunting with him!" She turned to Dipper, "Human Dipper, please take him! Give him something else to do! Give me a break!"

"Geez, I didn't realise you were that upset," Big Dipper's voice was sarcastic but his eye had a glint of concern, "What's gotten into you?"

She gave him a solemn, knowing stare, "I haven't been having a good week," Shooting Star spat.

Mabel's eyes lit up, "OOOO!! That is a great idea!!" She put her arm around Shooting Star's shoulders, "The Dippers can go monster hunting while you join me and my friends for a sleepover!"

Shooting Star gasped excitedly, "You'd really invite me to your sleepover!?"

"OF COURSE, SIS! I know Candy and Grenda are gonna be so excited to meet you."

"Oh and quick question: What is a sleepover?"

Mabel's jaw dropped, "Girl, I am going to blow you mind. I'M SO EXCITED!!"

The two girls squee'd before Dipper interrupted, "As fun as that sounds, I don't think I qualify as proper supervision for Big Dipper, so I don't think I can take him," he lied.

"Oh well, he'll have to stay home then, but that doesn't mean Shooting Star can't join us!" Mabel shrugged, "You could also ask Pacifica to join you."

Dipper's face went hot again, "S-she's busy right now, she's Mcgucket's apprentice, remember?" He fidgeted with his hands, "And besides, I wouldn't want to bother her with something as dangerous as monster hunting."

"Are you scared she's gonna bite you or something?" Shooting Star teased.

"Nope, he's scared she's gonna KISS HIM!-" Dipper jabbed Mabel in the arm as she yelled.

"I guess you're gonna have to take me then!" Big Dipper said, mustering up a smile, "Beats sitting around doing nothing, besides, I wanna know more about the creatures in the place. Which ones are considered normal and which ones are considered strange to you? There's so much to learn!"

It was the most Big Dipper had every said to him at once and, surprisingly, it sounded genuine.

Dipper sighed, "Fine, I guess you're gonna join me for monster hunting... Big Dipper," the name made him sick, it sat in his mouth weirdly like it had a bad after taste, "But, we'll have to see if Grunkle Ford and Grunkle Stan will let you follow me."

Dipper hoped his grunkles would use their common sense, but of course he the anwser was probably going to be-

"Yeah, sure," Grunkle Stan said, reaching for the remote.

Dipper tried to prompt him, "Are you sure? I, uh, don't really know if that's the best idea, you know, since I'm young, a-and he's young...? Might not be safe, right..?"

"I honestly thought you were gonna go monster huntin' by yourself, I'm sure you two will be fine," Stan waved his hand, "also, since when did you ever ask me for permission?"

Dipper shot a glance to 'Bigs', who was starting to catch on to Dipper's disliking of him, he tried to hide how hurt he was with a scowl.

"Let’s just go already," he spat, making his way to the door. Dipper stumbled to catch up to him.

....

Dipper didn't account for that fact that the lack of wind meant they would be an easy snack for mosquitoes. Big Dipper kept slapping at his face, a bit harder than he needed to, endlessly infuriated with the darn things, "Why do these bugs even need blood?"

"Oh, it's only the females," Dipper said, voice strained as he fought with the paint can lid, "They need it for their eggs."

"THEY'RE PUTTING EGGS IN ME?!" Big Dipper shrieked unexpectantly, dropping his paint brush.

"NO! No! T-they just use the blood for their eggs!" Dipper quickly assured him.

"Oh, thank the Axolotl," Bigs sighed, relieved, placing a hand on his chest, almost comically, to steady himself.

Dipper rolled his eyes. Dramatic, much? he thought, but then another thought crossed his mind, "Wait, thank the what?"

Bigs ignored him and continued asking questions, "Why do they need blood? Like, why blood specifically? Do they use it to nest, or feed? Like, what about blood do they need, I thought bugs ate flowers or something! Unless the encyclopaedia lied to me..." His voice trailed off in thought.

Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose, "Look man, I dunno. I dunno why it's blood specifically, all I know is the larvae need it to feed. I'm not an entomologist or anything."

Bigs looked at him, eyebrows scrunched, "But I thought you liked studying stuff?"

Dipper rolled his eyes, picking up the freshly painted cardboard and holding it up against the golf cart, "Yeah I guess? I like studying *weird* stuff, mosquitoes aren't exactly anomalies," He glanced over to the side, "Could you get that tape?"

Big Dipper struggled to his feet and made his way over to Dipper's side of the golf cart, picking up the duct tape, still stewing on Dipper's response before saying, "But mosquitoes are weird! Everything here is weird! L-like squirrels, for example! Did you know-"

"DUDE! THE TAPE?" Dipper snapped.

Big Dipper's eyes went wide again, before narrowing into a scowl. Can't believe I thought I could get along with this jerk, he thought, picking frustratedly as the tape, trying to find the edge with his horribly uncoordinated stumpy fingers (as if these weren't upgrades to his old ones).

....

Roughly an hour passed. The two boys stood aside admiring (or rather staring conflictedly) at their creation. The golf cart was covered in cardboard, shaped and coloured to mimic tetris blocks, and an unnecessary amount of glitter, like, a shit ton. Dipper dusted off his hands and looked at them, checking to see if he had gotten all the glitter off. He hadn't obviously, it was glitter, shit could outlive cockroaches. Big Dipper decided to do the same, he dusted his hands on his overly fancy coat and stared at them. The glitter stuck in his fingernails and in the lines on his palms, stubborn like...

Like dried blood.

Bigs was snapped out of, well whatever he was in, when he heard a deep, grizzly voice calling out to Dipper.

"Oh hey Grenda!" Dipper waved and walked over to her, also waving to Candy, who was close behind, dragging a heavy pink duffle bag, "Geez, Candy, you're staying the night, not a whole month," he joked.

Dipper walked with them to the door, talking about something, Bigs wasn't really listening, standing awkwardly to the side.

Grenda and Candy didn't even acknowledge him, they probably didn't even see him in all honesty, since he was kinda lurking around the corner, but it still stung a lil bit. He huffed and made his way over to the golf cart again, his mind still lingering on what that red glitter resembled, trying and failing to push it from his mind. Had it always been this difficult to think of something else? Must be a human thing. It probably wasn't, who knows, but he's always been good at lying, might as well lie to himself.

He plonked himself in the passenger seat and stared off into the forest, seeing a small fluffy, chittering creature. A faint smile creeped onto his face as he reached into his jacket and pulled out his animal encyclopaedia. It didn't have much about insects, but it was overflowing with facts about mammals. "Let's see," he mumbled to himself, flicking through the pages, "strange paws, mask-like marking, cute fluffy tail... what are you... Ah! Raccoon!" He looked back excitedly at the creature, who was holding onto something, but it was too dark for him to really make out what it was.

"Right, we can go!" Dipper had suddenly appeared behind him, causing Bigs to yelp in surprise, fumbling with his book. The raccoon's head shot up at the noise and scampered away.

"Oh! Look what you did!" Bigs whined.

Dipper scoffed, taking his place at the wheel. He belted himself up and looked to Bigs, expecting him to do the same. Bigs looked at him with a blank expression. Dipper looked blankly back at him and asked, "You aren't gonna put your seatbelt on?"

"My what?"

"Seatbelt, you know, the thing that stops you from flying out of the vehicle?" Dipper gestured to the belt fastening him to the seat, "I should have figured your dimension doesn't need stuff like seatbelts," Dipper said, in a joking(?) manner. Big Dipper's face faltered a bit as he tugged at the seatbelt, getting more and more aggressive.

"Dude, you can't tug at it, the belt locks up," Dipper tried to advise, but Bigs wasn't listening.

Big Dipper let the seatbelt go with a frustrated grunt and folded his arms defiantly across his chest, slumping into his seat, "Forget it! I'm not wear that stupid thing!"

Dipper wanted to protest, but then he shrugged, it was Bill's kid, why should he care? "Ooookay! It's your funeral," he said, putting the key in the ignition and starting the cart.

It was that annoying time of day (or night, who could tell), where the sky was painted a beautiful stark orange, but you couldn't see a damn thing in front of you, like you were wearing sunglasses with lens covered in smudges and fingerprints. But still, the sky was pretty, even if you really couldn't see it that much through the tree leaves. Usually, Dipper didn't really care for simple stuff like that, but after all that had happened, it was nice to see the sky red and have it not mean the end of the world.

"Sunset's nice today, huh?" Dipper said, trying to easy the uncomfortable silence.

"Yeah..." Bigs mumbled dejected, not even looking up.

Why do I even bother? Dipper thought. Sometimes it was easy to forget this guy wasn't the son of a killer. He honestly couldn't tell, apart from the eye and the strange voice effect, of course. When it really came down to it, Big Dipper just seemed like a normal kid with a strange fashion sense, his sister Shooting Star too. But Dipper wouldn't be fooled, he couldn't allow himself to be fooled. The boy sitting next to him was related in some way to that monster.

....

They were both ducked behind a giant log. The lengthy steak out had begun, and Big Dipper was in no way prepared. The golf cart sparkled, glitter catching the last of the visible light until the sun disappeared completely, consumed by the thick foliage and the fall of night. The two boys had struggled to set up the trap, assembling the cage and setting up the pulley system. Bigs figured a collapsible cage that could so quickly be dissembled seem kinda counterintuitive, but Dipper explained that he only really to get a photo of it, not capture it, and prove the smartest guy in the world wrong! Oh and get 100 bucks from Grunkle Stan, that too.

And with that, they took their places behind the log. Dipper pulled a little remote out of his jacket and pointed it at the cart, turning on the colourful LED light strips he had lined it with. He then got out his disposable camera, digital camera and smartphone, eagerly waiting, a shit-eating grin plaster on his face. Now it was time to wait... ugh.

By the two hour mark, Dipper had dozed off, drooling all over the log, in an extremely uncomfortable position that he absolutely would feel for the next couple days. Dipper had pulled plenty of all nighters, but the past few nights he was occupied revising his journal, comparing the information with Grunkle Ford's studies (And texting Pacifica, but that's not important). His poor sleep schedule had finally caught up with him at the worst possible time.

Big Dipper on the other hand, would have liked to fall asleep, but it just felt impossible. It was hard enough falling asleep in this useless body on a cushioned surface, how the hell was he supposed to sleep propped up against a fucking log?? He was okay, he had almost reached the end of his encyclopaedia, so he better find something else to do, and quick!! Lest boredom set it, or whatever. He scanned the log in front of him, analysing the barely visible cracks in the tree bark in the faint strobes of the golf cart's colourful lights. As he sighed to himself, the Axolotl seemed to answer his plea for entertainment and sent some "weird" creature his way. A strange tiny, gangly insect looking thing fluttered in a panicked manner, landing ungracefully onto the log in front of him. Carefully and slowly he reached over to Dipper's side and turn on the flashlight, shining it at the curious little thing. It had a vibrant green colour, like that of a flower stem. It had two large hook like appendages which, upon closer inspection, had tiny little spikes lining the underside of them. Half of its body was upright and thin, almost humanoid, while its bottom half was plump and squishy, held up by four delicate legs. Wings laid neatly folded on its back, and two small wire looking things (if he remembered correctly, antennas) sticking out from the top of its triangular, bulbous head. He flicked through his book, but he would remember if he had seen something about a creature like that. Nothing, as he predicted, he sucked his teeth and tucked the book into his coat. He scratched his chin, he needed a piece of paper. He looked around and then noticed a gold glint coming from something stashed in Dipper's vest;

a book.

Of course, his journal! Bigs slowly reached for the blue leather book, (who knew leather could come in that colour!), and as he pulled it out, he winced as Dipper mumbled something in his sleep. Once it was free, he set the journal in his lap, shocked by the front cover. It was adorned by a gold tree, probably a pine tree, like what Bill had called him when they first met. He really tried not to think about it as he flipped through the pages, but he could feel it crawling up his throat. He was shaking, why was he shaking? Whatever, he thought as he found a blank page, not paying attention to any of the other strange illustrations. He ripped out a page and pulled a pen from his coat. He used the journal as something to lean on as he sketched the spindly bug in front of him. It stared back at him, not moving, even as he got right up close to it.

"You get me, you weird little thing," he muttered. The bug tilted its head to the side, like it was confused. He giggled and gently brushed the bug's antennas with his finger, causing it to jerk its head, frightened, but it still didn't move from its spot. He apologised to it before finishing off his drawing. It was as close to the real thing as he could get it, he was happy at least his clumsiness didn't translate into his art style. He set the book and his drawing aside and the bug begin to stretch its wings, as if on cue to leave. He waved goodbye to it, yawning as his eyes began to feel heavy. There was nowhere comfortable to lie down, but he scooted over to the nearest tree and leaned against it. It would have to do. He stretched, yawned once more and smacked his lips together as his eyelids began to close.

....

The world around him was bright.

Shooting Star rolled her eye.

Shooting Star. His Shooting Star. He could barely make out her shape, but the voice was unmistakably hers.

"[Whatever it is, Big Dipper, we'll do it together!]" she declared.

He sighed and looked away, "[Thank you Star, but...]" his eye looked upwards, "[This... this is something I need to alone.]"

She scoffed, "[I guess you weren't listening then.]"

"[Shooting Star, please,]" He pleaded, his voice sounding more distressed than he remembered, "[J-just, don't.]"

"[What are you even on about bro?]" She reached out to him, but he flinched away. Why? Why would he flinch? No, let her grab you.

Let her hold you.

Let her join you...

...then maybe... then maybe she'd be...

The world became unbearably bright, obscuring his sister completely. His voice screamed out to her, begging her not to go, but it wasn't coming from his body. He could see himself, floating high above.

He heard one scream.

And then another accompanied it.

And then another.

Until there was a whole chorus, muffled screams melted and looped alongside crystal clear shouts.

"[YOU MONSTER!]" One yelled.

"[WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?]"

"[WHAT'S HAPPENING?!]"

"[Momma!?]" One voice cried, he wanted to scream alongside it.

The bright white slowly fractured into piercing blue shards that danced and wriggled, engulfing everything and everyone in sight. The sky turned black as the flames nipped at his heels. He screamed and stumbled forwards. He caught himself on his hands. His human hands.

He heard a familiar scream and his jerked his head upwards.

Her form was fractured, a deep crack spreading across her, going through her eye.

Was she... blinded?

"[SHOOTING STAR!]" He ran towards her and the ground below her began to tilt upwards. She scrambled, trying to grasp onto the smooth surface.

He grabbed her, she mouthed his name but all that came from her lips was discordant, layered screams.

As tried to pull her up, he noticed how slick her arm was.

Too slick.

She slipped out of his hands, plummeting into the inky blackness below, disappearing almost as quickly as she had appeared. Or was it above? He couldn't tell. Right, left, up or down. He couldn't tell.

He couldn't tell.

Something compelled him to look at his hands. It was coated in oozing, wet, red...

...glitter?...

The screams around him became less chaotic, more streamlined, focusing one phrase:

"[WHY DID YOU DO IT?]"

"[WHY DID YOU DO IT?]"

 "[WHY DID YOU DO IT?]"

"[WHY DID YOU DO IT?]"

"[WHY DID YOU DO IT?]"

"[WHY DID YOU DO IT?]"

And then another voice cried out above the chanting. One so similar to his own:

"[What is wrong with you?]" It reverberated in his skull.

....

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Dipper screeched furiously, waving his journal in Bigs' face, open to the ripped out page, "HEY MAN, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?"

Big Dipper's wide eyes began to water, his lip quivered and his breathing became erratic as he whimpered out some kind of apology to someone, someone who clearly wasn't Dipper.

"H-hey man," Dipper's anger turned into quiet confusion, “Are you okay?"

Yeah clearly not, the child sobbing in front of you is totally fine.

Dipper set his book aside and reached out to Bigs, who aggressively and suddenly slapped his hand away.

"Ow dude, what the heck-"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Big Dipper screamed, standing up.

"O-okay, please try to calm down, I-I can't help you if you're-"

"I don't need your h-help," he huffed out, "I.... what's happening..." he lifted his hands to his face, dragging his fingers along the tear streaks gushing down his cheeks, "My throat hurts! Wh-why is it hurting? Why can't I talk?" He squeaked.

"Yeah, that kinda happens when you cry," Dipper mumbled, forcing a smile.

"S-stop talking... just..."

Dipper fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, not sure what to do. The only person he really seemed to be able to give a pep talk was Mabel.

"Look, I don't really know what you're going through," Dipper shoved his hands into his pockets, "but it's gonna be okay-"

"NO ITS NOT!"

Dipper was clearly not making things any better, "Look man-"

"JUST SHUT UP! JUST STOP, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE! YOU HAVEN'T.... You!..." He looked like he was gonna throw up, "You have no idea what I've been through... You wouldn't believe me, no one would, no one does, no one will, no one..."

"I know what it's like to go through crazy things, and I know what it's like to have no one believe you!" Dipper was grasping at straws, what the hell did this kid go through?

"NO YOU DON'T! YOU AREN'T LISTENING TO ME-"

"Well, you aren't listening to me either! You aren't even really saying anything! I'm trying to calm you down!"

"I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP!" Bigs threw the hardest punch he could muster and directed it at Dipper's chest. Dipper, finally being taller than someone for once, shoved him to the floor, a bit too hard.

"You jerk!" Dipper spat, "Whatever the hell you went through, it doesn't give you the right to act like this!" He took a step forward, Bigs didn't move, "I've fought countless monsters, I almost died more times than I can count! I fought an alien security bot by myself, I fought a multibear by myself, I fought ghosts by myself. I lived through the end of the world! Me and Mabel have been through everything, so whatever you've got going on, I'll understand!"

Big Dipper felt his throat seer with pain, his eyes were completely blurred over with tears, he couldn't breathe without making some weird hiccupping noise, "S-she's g-gone, she's g-gone, she's..."

"Oh my gosh, dude who?!"

"My sister is dead!" he wailed, and he wouldn't stop.

Dipper felt his heart sink into his stomach, his face fell and went pale. All he could say was, "What?.."

And Bigs wouldn't stop, he wailed and screamed, clawing at his face, leaving red marks behind, "She's gone! Because of me! Because of me! She's gone and I never said goodbye, it's all my fault! It's all my fault! It's my fault!"

Dipper's mouth was dry, what could he say, what could he do, what was happening, do something, say something, don't just stand there!

"They're all gone, everything is gone! I'm so stupid, stupid, STUPID!" He repeated it over and over again. He brought his palm up to his temple and hit it as hard as he could, over and over and over again.

That got Dipper moving.

He grabbed hold of Big Dipper's wrists, kneeling down in front of him, "P-please dude, stop you're hurting yourself! Please!"

Bigs just wailed in response. Dipper grabbed him and held him tight in a hug, one hand on the kid's back and the other supporting his head. Bigs pressed his face into Dipper's chest. Dipper really wasn't sure what to do, he didn't want to move, he didn't want to let go of him. What should he do in this situation? What could he do? Dipper took Bigs' hat off of his head and set it aside.

"I want my mom," Big Dipper cried.

"I know," is all Dipper could respond in a whisper, his heart aching, "I know."

He patted the Big Dipper's back rhythmically, like how Dipper's father would when he would freak out and curl up into his arms as a kid. Maybe Big Dipper was a bit too old for that, but it seemed to calm him down, so Dipper continued.

They stayed like that for goodness knows how long. Dipper tried to shake the thoughts about potential monsters attacking them while they weren't paying attention, but that didn't matter, if something tried to bother them, they would deal with it then. He would deal with it then. Eventually, Bigs' pulled away from him, snot all over his face which was also all over Dipper's shirt, but again, that didn't matter now, so Dipper tried to put his disgust aside. He hoisted Bigs up and walked him over to the log, sitting him down and putting the hat back on his head. He handed Big Dipper his water bottle and set his journal and a marker next to Bigs, urging him to draw in it if he would like. Bigs tried to protest, repeating what Dipper had scolded him about earlier, but he could barely speak at that point, and Dipper had insisted he use it, stating that he didn't mind anymore and he was sorry for how he acted.

Dipper then got to work disabling his trap, asking Bigs questions the whole time, trying to distract him, eventually he asked Bigs to read from his encyclopaedia.

"I thought you weren't interested in normal animals?"

"No no, I am," Dipper assured him, "Even though I like anomalies, I still like regular creatures a ton too!"

"Um, what... what do I read?"

"Uhhh, pick something you like!"

Bigs scratched anxiously at the corner of his book.

"How about sharks?" Dipper cut off his thoughts before they could spiral, "Got anything about sharks?"

Bigs eye lit up, "Uh yeah, of course," he flipped to the page and paraphrased the information, "Uh, did you know that some shark species need to move in order to breathe?" He looked up to gauge Dipper's reaction.

Dipper looked genuinely interested, "Oh seriously? I didn't know that! Does it say why?"

"Yeah, it's cus some shark can't pump water into their gills, so they need to move into order to get water flowing through their gills. Like the Great White Shark, for example, that's why they can't be kept in aquariums, because they are way too hard to transport!"

"Wow! I guess nature really can be weird by default, huh?"

....

They drove back to the Shack, empty handed, in their ridiculously adorned golf cart. Big Dipper didn't even realise that the sun had risen already, but when they made it to the edge of the forest, his eyes burned from the suddenly change in light. He felt so weak and so tired. His face felt heavy and his nose was bright pink. The whole way back, Big Dipper continued to read excerpts from his book to Dipper, who found himself super curious about learning more about how cats and bunnies were related and how people who have a cat allergy might have a reaction to a bunny.

Dipper got Bigs got two popsicles from the freezer and made Bigs sit on the porch alongside him. Dipper swatted away the flies as Bigs watched them curiously as they tried to land on his frozen treat.

"I'm going to duck inside, alright?" Dipper suddenly said, finishing up his popsicle.

"Uh, sure," Bigs mumble, mouth full of ice-cream.

Dipper walked inside, making his way to the gift shop and beelined right for the man with the yellow hair attempting to sweep the floor.

"Bill," Dipper stated, waiting for Bill to acknowledge him.

"Oh, Pine Tree! How nice of mister high and mighty to finally talk to me!" Bill gave him a sarcastic curtsey, "Why, you couldn't reach the top shelf or something, short stack-"

"Go hug your kid," Dipper cut him off, "He needs a father right now," He pushed past Bill, "Now more than ever. He's on the porch."

Dipper grabbed something from the vending machine before heading back into the living room, realising he had completely walked past Shooting Star without saying hello, who had been vegetating on the couch, watching some random cartoon with a bowl of cereal in her lap.

Dipper felt his heart ache once again. Something really wasn't adding up. Big Dipper's sister was dead, so then who is Shooting Star? He could have had more than one sister, but he went on and on about how everyone was gone. So then who was Shooting Star? A distance cousin? Maybe some crude copy of his sister? Maybe just some random girl. It really did confirm that the kids weren't actually related to Bill, or at least, not raised by him, which would explain why they were so sweet and so... human.

Wait no, that's not right. Why did they have to be human for their emotions to mean something? They weren't humans, but still, they meant something. For someone who love the strange so much, Dipper realised he really wasn't being very accommodating. How could he study other worldly things through such a strictly human lens? 

Anyway, he realised he had been staring at Shooting Star for a bit too long (she was too engrossed in her show to notice but still), so he broke the silence, "Uh hey, Shooting Star," he said uncertainly, "Where's Mabel?"

"Upstairs!" Her voice was cheery but she didn't turn to look at him.

He thanked her and hurriedly ran in front of the TV, trying not to block it too much. He made his way up the stairs to his and Mabel's bedroom.

"Hey Dipper!" Mabel was in the midst of cleaning up the room after her crazy slumber party. It looked like a storm blew through it. A storm with lots of lipstick and glitter.

"Hey," He wasn't exactly sure where to start, but he noticed the lack of her friends, "Where's Candy and Grenda?"

"Oh they went home early since we stayed up all night. I've got some plans for tomorrow, so they wanted to be well rested! They got along amazing with Shooting Star, she was an absolute riot!" She turned to face Dipper after picking up a pile of clothes, "And what about your monster hunting adventure with the Biggie Cheese? Catch what you were looking for, or did gnomes mess it up again?" Dipper sighed and Mabel furrowed her brows, "I'm guessing it was the gnomes then."

"No," Dipper sat on his bed, head in his hands, "Bigs had a break down after having some horrible nightmare."

"Oh..." Mabel sat down on the bed next to him, not at all ready for that answer, "Oh my gosh, is he alright?"

"I dunno. I want to say yes but..." His voice trailed off, "His story is a lot more complicated than I thought."

"Well, what happened?"

Dipper took a deep breath, "He had a sister, and she died. I'm not sure how but he is convinced it was his fault."

"Oh my gosh..." Mabel whispered, placing a hand on Dipper's shoulder.

"And I think Shooting Star isn't his sister either, at least not by blood. Same as his relation to Bill, not through blood."

"You don't think Shooting Star was in a similar situation, do you?" Mabel's eyes were round and glossy.

Dipper's head shot up, his eyes glassy as well, "Mabel, I want to apologise."

Mabel tried to chuckle, "For what, dumb-dumb?"

"For always dragging you on adventures, even if they were dangerous. And for not appreciating you. And thank you, you know, for putting up with me and my nonsense."

Mabel pulled him into a hug, "Thank you dummy! For always saving me and keeping me on the right track! I'd forget my own head if it weren't for you."

"And I'd forget mine if it weren't for you," Dipper pulled away from the hug and stared at her, tears beginning to form in his eyes, "I just... I always thought if something bad happened to us, we'd just get separated... I never considered that you might... might..."

Mabel elbowed him, "You can't get rid of me that easily, silly! Whatever you do, I'll do it with you, even when you die!"

"That's creepy, Mabel," Dipper laughed.

"I'M JUMPING INTO THE CASKET WITH YOU!! AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!!"

They joked and shoved each other a few more times before Mabel commented on the snot on Dipper's shirt, demanding he take a shower and change.

As he got ready to shower, he checked his pockets for tissues and remember his phone was still in his vest pocket. His phone reminded him of a comment someone had made the other day, so He decided to call them for a favour.

"Hello?"

"Pacifica, hey!"

"Ha, what's up nerd?"

"Um, are you heading to Mcgucket's mansion tonight?"

"Uh, I wasn't planning on it... But I can if someone wanted me to."

"Thank you, Paz. I just... I need a break. I need someone else to talk to."

[deathontheroad]

You know…?

I have many thoughts... I don't really know what to say at this point. I didn't really think I could get this far. It makes me happy and content that more people are enjoying my art and drawings. I can't fully say or express how much overwhelmingly happy I am. I'm not the best at expressing myself, let alone turn those feelings into words, but I felt like getting this out there.

I will admit this just started out as a place for me to store my stuff, so it didn't take storage from my tablet's already full memory. I thought of making them public because, why not? I didn't think people were going to be interested in them and actually see them. This website has already many things posted in it, so the chances of my things getting to people were small. That was I thought. But now, I look forward into sharing more and more of my stuff to people who seemingly enjoy it!

There are numerous artists here who are very much talented. And compared to them, I am nothing that special. Yet, despite my simple art style, there are those who actually appreciate it and love it. It will never stop amusing me, even just a little. This whole thing motivated me to keep making more and feel like sharing them, even if I may not be fully satisfied with some.

I thank those who have accompanied me to this day and have given me support, I appreciate it! I may not say it everytime, but know that I will always cherish it dearly! This website awaked an old spark within me that I hadn't feel for a long time since my childhood. Little old me could be pround...

I want to especially thank @lost-terrorzz for all the support you gave me throughout these difficult days. You are awesome, man. You were the first one I talked with on Tumblr and the first one I started looking up to. You're cool and a great person, dude, and I mean it!

(Who could have guessed the day I drew a silly, coo coo crazy axolotl could lead to becoming mutuals with an amazing and talented artist.)

[catdemontraphouse]

Bill cipher discord server mutual I am so sorry u are going to regret allowing me to participate😔😔 I’m not rly any good at writing prose lol

I have a fic in progress, it’s called “Nightmare Realm Blunt Rotation.” Yeah. It’s your classic “nobody could fix Bill so they pawn him off on Mabel” but it’s a contemporary tale set 12 years after the original show. None of the chapters are done yet lol so I just picked out random shit from some of them to share😖

Bits from the chapter where Mabel, after having been handed custody of Bill during a heated negotiations session with the Axolotl, has now recruited him to host live sales for the Mystery Shack gift shop and he eats rocks on Instagram for views

Stan’s jaw dropped, and he couldn’t maintain his inside voice anymore. “What the fuck? Mabel!”

“Just ignore it. This is my life now.”

Stan scowled at her blasé response. “You’re just letting him do whatever he wants now?! Mabel, he’s gonna use that setup to recruit freaks for his cult!”

“No, no. It’s chill. I’ve got him doing live sales on Instagram.”

As if on cue, the devil put away his cosmetics and pressed a few buttons on the phone, resuming his work. “Ok, I’m back. Remember buy two get one half off on the spheres….no, no we don’t offer that.” There was another pause as he furrowed his brow at the comments. “Honestly, Catharine Bianchi, I’m going to send a puma to tear your flesh. How many times do I gotta repeat myself? I don’t care if your an influencer, this is a business.” Another pause, this time the beast brought a gloved hand to his face in frustration. “Your entire life is a joke and you’ll never find love! Ok banned. Sorry my beautiful people.” He picked up a pyrite sphere from the table. “Very fine mineral specimen here, it’s 35. Who’s takin it?… Marlene you still here?”

Upon witnessing this spectacle, Stan made Mabel an offer. “Want me to punch him to death again?”

“No, that’s ok.”

Bits from the chapter where The Pines find out Bill has a keen sense of smell and Stan wants to use it to make money by selling shitty non FDA approved perfumes (spoilers everyone gets a rash from it, total disaster idk maybe someone will drink it and die):

“I could tell it’s him because of the smell.”

Mabel looked perplexed and slightly disgusted, so he felt the need to explain.

“See, because my kind can’t typically see so good, we’re usually blessed with a keen sense of smell to help make up for it.”

“Ohhh! Is your sense of smell like a dog, then?”

“No, maybe like… a dog with nose blindness. I can’t smell as good as most Euclideans, but I can at least smell better than a human. Y’know, it’s one of my fun genetic defects.”

“Sooo, what do I smell like?” Mabel asked eagerly.

“Ah. Kid, you’re not gonna like it.”

“I smell bad?!”

“No, not bad. It’s a nice smell. Makes me feel welcome.” He frowned. “Ya smell like human B.O. and fruit.”

“What?!” Mabel cried, as she started frantically sniffing herself. “Dude I just bathed!”

“No, no, no. All humans have some smelly human smell. That’s like, you’re base smell. As a species. It’s not just you. It’s the undertones that are unique.”

“Oh thank god!”

“And then also whatever stuff you come into contact with affects that smell too. And other flesh monsters have different smelly smells, like deer smell isn’t the same as human smell, ya know?”

“I see. You really are like a dog!!” She patted his head affectionately.

“Ugh. Not quite but… sure fine, whatever.”

“So what does Ford smell like?” Mabel questioned enthusiastically.

“He smells like comfort. Well I mean, he smells like human B.O. and books mostly, but it’s a comforting smell.”

“Aw, that’s cute!”

“Sniffing is a form of greeting in my homeworld’s culture but it can also be a sign of affection.”

“You’re so dog-coded it’s crazy!”

Bill scowled. “I’m not a dog.”

“Yes you areee~!” Mabel cooed. “So what does Grunkle Stan smell like?”

“Horrible. Like loser.”

“Ok but like give me the notes. Pretend Grunkle Stan is a perfume.”

“Oh, honey, nobody would buy that.”

“Ok, ok I’m writing this down! ‘Stan… smell!’ Ok!” She looked up at Bill expectantly.

“Just put ‘ass’ in giant bubble letters,”

“Oh, come on! He’s gotta be more complex than that!”

——————-

Bill was sat on the sofa, nursing an unplugged candle warmer, when Stanley barged in.

“Hey, jackass, I have a business proposal for you-“ He paused, a look of disgust washing across his face. “Is that a candle?!”

Bill took another sip from the large container and nodded, smiling. “It’s pretty alright. Piña colada.”

“Huh. I do like piña coladas.” Stan grunted.

“So what’s the deal Stanley? Whaddoya want?”

“I was thinkin, after you sniffed all us the other night, you ought to put that snoz to good use!” Stan pulled a little paper perfume sample from his pocket and shoved it in Bill’s unimpressed face.

“You want me to help you pick a fragrance to conceal your stench?”

“No! I think we ought to get into the fragrance business together! Think about it, they sell this crap at the counter in the mall for hundreds of dollars! Hundreds!” Stan declared, having flashbacks to all the times he got jumped by the old ladies at the department store telling him there was a sale on cologne. Did he really smell that bad?

“Haw? I don’t really get excited about money like you do, Stanley. What’s in it for me? I’ve already got a steady gig going with Starburst.” The gig being half his paycheck was cheese, might I remind you.

“Uh… Ford could model for our ads! Yeah.”

Bill squinted his unnatural human eyes in suspicion and took another glug of melted candle. “Sorry pal, you’ll have to try harder than that.”

[godstiel]

May I ask you to recount the neilman squishmallow incident im trying to tell it to some of my friends and I’m worried I’ve got some details wrong

yeah sure i need a break from schoolworksunday for a minute. First way back in the lore earlier this year brianna my friend brianna posts a specific image of an axolotl squishmallow and discovers that for some reason if you post it. Blog instantly deleted. then like two weeks ago some of us had the idea that i would try to send the image to neil gaiman and if he posted my ask. well. Goodbye neil gaiman blog. so i do this but when i send the ask it ALSO deletes my blog in an event i have been comparing to the supernatural god gun. it is a deeply tragic hour in which i am mourned but miraculously i am reinstated within the afternoon. at this point it spirals into something strange and new because the rumor mill of sarah z's anons report that i tried to assassinate neil gaiman for real and also Well you know what its like. on tumblr.misinformation. also then the next day redditguy posts an essay level recap about it also throwing darts randomly at some of my mutuals in which literally everything is wrong and crazy except for the part where they recognize that im blonde. But thats not important. back to the axolotl. its still radioactive tumblr like kind of tried to put a bandaid on it by removing the image from some posts that still had it up but we ran tests and it still very much has blog-deleting power. hope that helps

[im-not-a-joke]

Mmh... All the field

the whole- the whole field....

thank you for asking, this is going to be one long post

Alisons: Sexuality?

asexual, unlabeled/queer romantic

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

they/them or he/him, nonbinary

Amaryllis: Birthday?

february 4th

Anemone: Favorite flower?

bleeding heart

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

steven universe

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

probably offer a place to sleep overnight

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

“Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

strawberry lemonade

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

my gf? yes, absolutely.

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

i’d like to think so, yes

Baneberries: Favorite song?

currently “better than me” by the brobecks

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

a mess, i have three siblings, and two of them are currently living at home, we also have two large dogs

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

yes! my best friend anna, and her brother bryan!

Begonia: Favorite color?

purple

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

mantis shrimp

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night person

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

dog, i want the constant love and affection

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

first a botanist, then a geologist

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

i want to adopt some someday! sometimes they suck, but i want to be there for someone who doesn’t have a family to lean on.

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

abandonment, because i’m annoying

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i shared a room with my little brother until i was like 12.

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

visiting all the people i love most, all of my friends, my gf, i’d call my sister

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

taken!

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

france

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when people take the time out of their day to talk to me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

nope, i do want some someday, though

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

yes! i got my ears pierced twice because it ripped my earlobe the first time

California Poppy: Height?  

~5′8″

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes, and if i die before any of my friends, i’m coming back to haunt them

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

a floral tank top, my favorite sleeveless cardigan, and jean shorts

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

yes, my little brother was afraid of the dark and insisted on having a nightlight on

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

my mom

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

my gf

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

architect’s daughter

Columbine: Are you tired?

yes, very

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

tomorrow i get to leave the house all day to drive across the state and it’s going to be a lot of fun

Coneflower: Dream job?

language teacher! either english to people who don’t speak it or german/french to english speakers

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert. i’m on tumblr all day

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

yeah, i think so

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i’d actually die for multiple people in my life

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

yes! a stuffed white dog with a plaid scarf and matching antlers! my friend got it for me because it reminded her of my big white dog.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

once i came 3rd in my age group for a 5k i ran

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

i successfully kept a frail axolotl alive for an entire summer

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

i dont care what my parents think about stuff like that, they cant tell my who i am or am not allowed to date

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

@byler-obsessed literally like, maybe 15 minutes ago as of writing this

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

i’d like to think i’m decent at singing

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

staying awake during the day

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i saw my gf for the first time in months! i came out to the girls team for xc! i spent a lot of time with one of my closest irl friends!

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

decent, i had coach practice, which was nice

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

yeah, i’d say i’m pretty happy where i am

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

learn guitar

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

my best friends anna and bryan, my older brother, the girls on the team, my ukulele, my therapist, my dogs, the creek in my back yard, my grandma’s amish apple dumpling recipe, random internet memes, books

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

listening to my spotify playlist

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

reassurance and/or talking about things that i enjoy, i’m really insecure so if i’m talking about something i like, that’s me trusting you. 

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

the mental health progress i’ve made

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

i lay in bed until like 11, then, i spend the rest of the day out with my friends, we get sushi for dinner and stay up until like 3am

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

be on tumblr

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

i met them both in 6th grade, anna nad i were in the same science class and i met bryan at lunch, he didn’t talk to me for at least the first half of the year.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

bryan, he always knows just what to say, and knows that he doesn’t have to fix my problems to be a good friend.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

like, 13?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

my friend once told me that they couldn’t tell if i was a boy or girl upon first meeting me and it made my day.

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

i’m a mess, an anxious, depressed, gay mess

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

my hair, it’s really fluffy and soft, and just about light enough to dye bright colors

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

my chest, it’s always been a huge part of my dysphoria and i want it gone please

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

i would play dress up with my dog, he had to suffer through wearing all my old dresses, but he got treats so it was ok

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

my friend ry, we met in second grade, we’re still on and off friends, currently off

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

in 5th grade i used the word “suck” in class and got yelled at

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

see above answer

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

carson: christian. it’s my name because i like how it sounds, and anna really liked it too, she picked it for me.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

white, suburban ohio. all the kids had cliques by the second day of kindergarten, and if you were knew, you generally had a pretty good chance of being picked up by the popular kids.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had bunkbeds with my little brother, i slept on the bottom.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

so far, not really. i’m just mentally ill and closeted, it’s not great

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she likes to dye her hair crazy colors, and she used to be a beekeeper, even though she’s allergic to bee stings.

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

he rides his bike almost every day, and supports my mom in whatever she does

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

on my mom’s side, the kindest boomers i’ve ever met, my grandpa used to take us on “adventures” to the park and just watch us play

on my dad’s side: my grandpa loves seeing us but doesn’t get out much, my grandma laughs hysterically at every family gathering, and has all the best amish recipes

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

when i turned 13, i went ice skating for the first time and fell and sprained my wrist

Peony: What was your first job?

mowing lawns

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

we had mutual friends and slowly ended up being close, we were in school plays and track together.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

i bite down on my finger to simultaneously distract myself, focus on something else, and hold myself back

Pink: Where is home?

my best friends’ living room at 1 am, with the golden girls playing in the background

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

i’d go back and stop current president from becoming president

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

my sister, she has always been driven and passionate and talented, and she makes everything seem effortless and still gives it her all.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

me and my spouse and my kids amd my dogs all live in a decently spacious house in europe, my job is stable and i love my work, my students think i’m cool and come to me if they need help, i am doing well.

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

i used to believe that the smoke from fireworks was where clouds came from

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

my best friends

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

the sound of rain on my roof at night

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

when my sister, dad, and i all climbed to the top of a mountain in california

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

throwing up in the car on the way home for visiting my sister in new york

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

a hug from anna

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

it’s hard because i don’t trust people

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

the internet

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 5.5 hours

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

to run, it makes me feel better and i love cross country

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

lmao i dont have one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my binder!

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

the record player song but a boy

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

a list of reasons why you deal with me/things you like about me

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

the fact that this is taking a lot longer than anticipated and i don’t want people to think i’m ignoring their asks

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

actual books? only 2, Catcher in the Rye and the Night Circus

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

out with my friends

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

yes, and i regret it

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

i’m double jointed in my left pinky

[digikate813]

Fanfiction Writer Appreciation Recs

I’ve seen a bunch of people doing these, and i really wanted to too. I may be late to the party here, but I hope I can point you towards some cool stuff to check out. Most of what I read in the fanfiction circle is Gravity Falls, so this post is mostly just multi chapter fics from the Gravity Falls fandom! I might do one for one-shots, and I’m sorry if I forget any major ones, but this is what immediately comes to mind that I highly recommend.

Stanswap by @orangeoctopi7

Reverse Portal AU at it’s best! The Reverse Portal AU was popular for a while (almost on par with Blind Faith) and a lot of people tried to grab onto the idea, but after all this time, it just seems to have left a lot of incomplete works in it’s wake. That is not the case here. It’s still going, but it shows no sign of stopping until it tells it’s entire story. And this story has been insanely detailed and well executed. Retelling almost the entire series as if Ford was the one taking care of the kids, and the dilemmas he faces with the fact that Stan is stuck on the other side of the portal. Not to mention most of the jokes are on point with something you’d hear in Gravity Falls. The author is someone I am proud to call my friend, and that all started when this fic was recommended to me.

30 Seconds Later by @invisibletinkerer

A pretty recent one that i really hope gets more attention. I’ve seen people do fanart and stuff of Ford being the same age as when he got sucked into the portal, while his home dimension and Stan aged, but I didn’t really see much potential for a full story in that idea. That changes with this fic, which again is still ongoing, but updates fairly regularly. The interactions between the Grunkle Stan we know and love and a Ford who is still fresh from his sleep deprived paranoia days, and still susceptible to Bill’s possession brings so much engaging conflict that i cannot get enough of!

My Demons by @kazriku

An oldie but a goodie. This one is basically a Mystery Trio story that focuses mostly on Stan and Ford, and the first chapter was written before A Tale of Two Stans came out. Adjustments were made after that episode came out, but this fic is very much telling it’s own story on how the Stans became so distant, and the incident that lead to Ford being trapped on the other side of the portal. Filled with mysterious suspense and some entertaining brotherly bonding, even if it hasn’t updated in a while, if we’re talking about fanfics I appreciate, there was no way i couldn’t include this one. It was the first major GF Fanfic I read from the person who would become my first mutual, and chances are this fic lead to me reading all the ones you see here!

By the skin of your teeth by @apathetic-revenant

I didn’t realize just how popular this one was until today, but it deserves it. It’s so good! When Stan gets into his argument with Ford after Ford calls him for the first time in 10 years, he realizes that something's wrong with Ford. He’s very sick and his house is a wreck. There is so much tension and angst in this one as Stan puts the pieces together about what’s been going on with his brother, and Ford continuing to fight what seems like a losing battle. There’s a happy ending, but it takes quite a bit to get there, and it is glorious!

And Then There Were Three by @kalajorn

I’m just going to say it. This is one of my favorite Mystery Trio stories. Ever! With an author who I think really is under the radar in the community. Mystery Trio is probably my favorite AU for Gravity Falls, but depending on who you ask, it either got stronger or weaker once A Tale of Two Stans came out. For me, it only got stronger, and this fic is an excellent example of why. I adore the scenario presented here of how Stan and Ford eventually reunite. How there is some spark of their connection as brothers still there, but there are still forces interfering with that, and using the material from canon to build some great tension. Updates take some time, but i promise you it’s worth it. This story only gets more engaging with each chapter and i’m hoping it’ll stay that way.

A Little Bit Lost by @impishnature

Impish is really a beacon of life for the GF fandom. Regularly producing high quality content of all kinds. I could have put any number of her stories on here. If you miss Gravity Falls, and you want to reminisce about it over a weekend, scroll through her AO3. You’ll find a lot to enjoy. But one of my personal favorites is this compilation of fics surrounding the Feral Ford AU. An AU that vanished as quickly as it arrived. I was even going to write something small on it, but i just never got to it. Anyway, these stories of a paranoid, almost animalistic Ford from what trauma he faced on the other side of the portal is just so powerful. Every idea has a new obstacle. Sometimes it’s comforting. Sometimes it’s heartbreaking. But there’s always something to grab your attention and not let go. I come back to these a lot, and they are always a great read.

I’d also recommend her Mystery Trio fic Phobos, but that one hasn’t updated for a while. But I still really like it so here ya go!

Maybe it’s Not Too Late by @rum-and-shattered-dreams

Why was this one so hard to find? It’s awesome! One of the reasons I’ve dived so deeply into Gravity Falls fanfiction more then any other fandom I’ve been in, is because even after the official shows credits rolled, it still left us with so much potential for what other adventures were out there. And this is one of the best examples of that. It’s a great, insanely engaging post series adventure involving pretty much the entire main cast and the return of the Shapeshifter, with Fiddleford and Ford as the main focus. Yes, it is partly a Ship Fic, which I’m not crazy about, but I don’t really find it distracting. There is so much in this story, and the shipping is just another element of it. And FiddAuthor is one of the ships I tolerate more, so I don’t really mind that much. The rest is just too dang good!!

Better Kept Secret by BadonKaDank

Another one that nearly alluded my radar until a friend mentioned it to me back when it had just completed, and I’m glad they did because this story is AMAZING! Having someone from one of the boys’ past come back for revenge is another premise that was circulating for a while that I freaking adored!! There were a few good pieces of writing out there on this (and even a comic currently going on), but this fic is at the top of the chart for me. Filled with drama, action, intense and suspenseful moments, it’s one that really stuck with me that i can’t believe I almost missed. 

Goodnight Stanley by Kitsunesocks

I haven’t seen many people mention this one, and while it may not be the most angst filled story involving the Stan Bros, it’s still a great one. Without giving too much away, while Stan and Ford are getting ready to head back to Gravity Falls, they discover that Bill might not be entirely gone, and that he may be plotting a way to come back right under their noses. Despite how common it is, this is a premise I’ve never been crazy about. I think @thesnadger Axolotl is the only story like this to engage me past the first chapter. Except this one. This is a great adventure of a story. The pacing is excellent and the characters are on point. Some of the most accurate I think I’ve seen in a Gravity Falls fic. I especially appreciate how proactive Dipper and Mabel are in this story. A lot of fics like this tend to push them to the side to make room for the Stans. But this story makes good use of everyone involved. It’s not the most emotionally driven story out there, but it’s one of the most well put together stories I’ve seen in a GF fic.

Blind Faith by @pinesinthewoods

Oh my God! This one! I originally wasn’t going to include this one because I know the author is no longer active in the fandom, but again, appreciation post. And this story deserves to be appreciated no matter what. You all know this AU, where Stan and Ford both wind up on the other side of the portal, and have to face the horrors on the other side together. Blind Faith was already fairly popular at this point, but this story propelled it to something else. Something stronger. Something with depth. Leaving you with chills as you finish every chapter. Aside from My Demons, this is probably the first fanfic I was checking for updates on, daily. This brought many new ideas to the AU that you still see in the occasional new content today, and that is something truly special. This is from yet another author who I am proud to call a friend, and it’s weird to think that back then, I was just a fan of something a lot of other people were. I’m sure most of you have read this one, but if you haven’t, go read it! It’s one of the best out there.

Stanley McGucket by @thelastspeecher

This is the sort of fic I don’t normally care for. Tons of original characters and a lot of shipping. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just not for me. But the premise was just too intriguing to resist. The idea of Stan being offered a job from Fiddleford’s parents and basically becoming an honorary member of the McGucket family is a really endearing premise. And when certain characters reunite or put the pieces together about who they are to each other, it really gets the ball rolling. You’re just waiting to see how everything will turn out, and it’s a pretty great ride. I followed this story and it’s expansions for a while. Then it branched into multiple AUs on it’s own and it just got way too confusing to keep up with the tag. But the main story is still a enjoyable ride from a type of fic that usually doesn’t grab me. But it had an interesting idea that pulled me in, and followed through on it. Welcome to the McGucket Family Tree Stanley

Amnesia by @ducksalive

Okay, yeah. This one isn’t technically a Gravity Falls fic. But I’m really into Ducktales right now and i was running out of Gravity Falls stories. So yeah, I’ve started diving into Ducktales fan fiction. Even wrote one of my own which you should definitely check out. Please? There’s not much out there that’s grabbed me as much as these other stories yet (if anybody knows any good Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera/Gizmoduck stuff out there, let me know), but something about this one had my attention. 

I’m one of those people who is immediately intrigued by amnesia stories but the reason most people aren’t is because of how often they can go wrong. So far, that’s not the case here. In this story, Donald is the one with amnesia, and Glomgold finds him and convinces him that he’s his uncle, and that Scrooge is the enemy. From there it’s a race to try and help rescue Donald from a trap he doesn’t even know he’s in. While Donald constantly suffers for it. If you’re the type of person who likes family angst (which chances are you do if you’re a fan of any of the above fics) then you’ll get a kick out of this. Every time you think the family is going to get Donald back, Glomgold manages to snatch him away. And realizing just how far he’s willing to go to keep Scrooge’s nephew on his side is just shocking. This is another story that’s still ongoing, so there’s no telling how this will conclude yet, but at the moment, I am very emotionally invested in this one.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve gotten way more into fanfiction then I ever would have imagined. I never looked twice at it before, but now I’ve been a spectator to many creative stories, the authors of some of my favorites have become some of my closest friends, and I’ve even written a couple myself. I may be late to the actual day, but I hope this shows my appreciation for all the fanfic writers above and a few dozen I’m probably forgetting at the moment. 

[wivibook]

10 Questions Tag!

Thanks to @ellasnotebook for the tag! I don’t always get to tags right away, but I do get to them.

Rules: Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, write 10 questions of your own, tag 10 people.

1. Which one of your OC’s would get up at 3 am and bake cookies because they couldn’t sleep?

This would absolutely be an Alan and Sam activity. Either of them would do it on their own, but if the other woke up, they’d defiantly be baking together.

2. What’s your greatest tip for writer’s block?

Be kind to yourself about it. Don’t stress or feel guilty because it just happens sometimes. No matter if you decide to take a break or power through (and I’ve been known to do both) take your time and relax, because anxiety and other negative feelings won’t help.

3. What’s your biggest pet peeve as a writer?

When auto-correct changes a typo to the wrong word! I love when I’m editing and “important” becomes “impotent” or something crazy like that. My typos can be BAD, but come on auto-correct, really?

4. Which one of your OC’s is most like you?

Hayley tells me I’m most like Alan, minus being a liar. Or am I???? No, if anything I’m too honest.

5. Which side character have you grown way to inexplicably attached to?

Mor Guard Captain Paulson. He is a gem that doesn’t appear until late in my book, yet I’ve considered giving him his own short.

6. Find an old writing piece of yours. What’s the worst sentence in there?

Oh dear, I don’t really have anything still saved. Uhm, there was a point, where for whatever reason, I had “The Sharon” twice in one sentence in my early chapters. I don’t know if I was tired or distracted, but it was ridiculous.

7. Do you have a good luck charm that you use when you write?

I have a little notebook for jotting down ideas in which I keep a picture of Hayley (editor, beta reader, co-manager of the social media, and gem of a person) and myself. I keep that with my always when I write, and most other times too. I’ll ask her if I can share it at some point. Oh, and hey, follow that dork @hayleybot btw.

8. Tea or coffee?

Yes.

9. What’s the book that made you want to become an author?

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy or The Princess Bride. Those books are huge inspirations to me because of their relaxed tones and humor. Because of those books, humor and the relationships between my characters are always my first goals.

10. Do you have any other special hobbies or talents besides writing?

I can crochet up a storm. I make hats, scarves, shawls, and blankets.

I also am a big gamer, and the stories of many games greatly influenced my desire to write and poke a little fun at tropey-low-fantasy.  I play a lot of turn based RPGs, and I love them, but gosh darn are they generally formulaic. My top five favorite games are Suikoden 3, Persona 3 Portable, Rune Factory 4, Mass Effect 2, and Until Dawn.

I also can paint and draw, those these hobbies have fallen to neglect due to time.I’ve done wedding gifts for commission before though, so I still have some faith in my skills.

I’m a percussionist, though I haven’t played seriously since high school. I loved the vibraphone. And I think that’s it!

My questions for those tagged-

1. What is your favorite OC’s favorite fruit?

2. What is your favorite fruit (I like fruit, okay)?

3. How much time a week do you think you spend on your writing?

4. Which OC do you like the least and why?

5. What is your favorite setting to write in (example: midnight, your room, spring weather, the eye of the abyss)?

6. What is a genre, other than the one you normally write in, that you’d like to experiment with?

7. Cats, dogs, or axolotls?

8. Favorite Font?

9. Are you a descripivtist or prescriptivist when it comes to grammar?

10. Who would you trust, if anyone, to finish or polish you WIP for you if for whatever reason you could not?

And now for the tags! Trying to mix in some new mutuals, so as always if you find tags irksome, just ignore. @vitalpen @toboldlywrite @acebelle @janeapricity @s-the-dragon @averyktingle @acfawkes @edoqawa @munificence-maleficence @hayleybot

[ao3feed-sugamon]

don’t blame me, love made me crazy

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2AvlldY

by emalynnstone

namgi au where yoongi surprises joon with a pet axolotl after they had talked about getting one for a long time and joon takes really good care of it... and yoongi is perfectly fine with their new roommate. perfectly. fine.

Words: 3071, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Namjoon | RM, Kim Seokjin | Jin, mentions of jimin - Character

Relationships: Kim Namjoon | RM/Min Yoongi | Suga

Additional Tags: Min Yoongi | Suga Is Whipped, Cute Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Namjoon | RM Is Whipped, Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Kim Seokjin | Jin & Min Yoongi | Suga Are Best Friends, Kim Seokjin | Jin is So Done, Yoongi is a scaredy cat, but he's also really in love, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Soft Min Yoongi | Suga, I will not tag that Yoongi is bad at feelings but mayhaps he could be better smh, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Min Yoongi | Suga, Adorable Kim Namjoon | RM

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2AvlldY