#crankyplier

[mereteilaura]

He touch

 @markiplier @crankgameplays

[project-jackass]

@crankyplier​ ‘s main bb :0  c

[dippedoreos]

Why is this so accurate?

[ao3-writer]

Breathe

Maybe a one shot with non binary (female to non binary in this case) Ethan who binds for to long (more then 8 hours is dangerous it can hurt ribs and make it hard to breath + you get vv sore) and he sleeps in his binder (also a huge red flag no as wake up in much pain and restricts breathing during night) and over protective bfs Mark and Ty taking care of there smol blue bird and babying him (he pretends to hate it but he loves it)

 Every morning, Emily would wake up in a state of panic. She’d question her life and she’d always remember her mother’s words whenever she would panic. “Breathe, Emily, just breathe.”

 Every night before she’d go to bed, she would meditate. She’d just focus her thoughts on a positive affirmation and take long deep breaths in the silence of her bedroom. 

 Jump to the present eight years later, and Ethan found himself not being able to breathe. Am I dying? no. 

  “Binding for too long could be a cause of this. Take a break for the day. Take it off and just wear a large shirt or sweatshirt if you’re uncomfortable to go in public.” Ethan’s doctor explained over the phone. 

  “And... any recommendations for... you know... the...” He felt awkward to say it. He’s had it for a month and it was still extremely new to him.

  “Haha, you mean the penis?” Ethan felt extremely embarrassed to nod his head. Then affirmed over the phone. “Just don’t torture yourself over it. I can’t exactly say too much because it’d deem as inappropriate but just watch out for any signs of rash, intense heat, or any possible infections. I have to go, do ask your boyfriends though, they could help in that department. Buh-bye Emi-- Ethan. Bye, Ethan.”

 Ethan laid the phone on the coffee table and let out a sigh. His chest hurt. A lot. He couldn’t wait for his surgery to get his breasts removed. Just two more weeks, he remembered, two more weeks. 

 He tried to take a deep breath but it pained him. He coughed and decided to lay back on the couch. Text Mark that he’s going to stay at home.

 Ethan fell asleep, phone drooping in his hand before clattering to the floor. His binder was still on.

 A knock on the door woke him. He stood up to answer it, his chest screaming in pain and his body felt sore. Ethan opened the door to see Mark and Tyler standing at the doorway with grocery bags.

  “You hadn’t answered our calls and texts.” Tyler mumbled as he entered and gave Ethan a big hug, his body aching even further from how tight he was held.

  “I was- *ungh* -sleeping. jesus. Let me go. You’re hurting me, Ty,” Ethan whimpered as he was let go and both men looked at him with concern in their eyes.

  “Did you take your binder off before going to sleep?” Mark asked. Ethan shook his head. Mark dropped the grocery bags and led Ethan to the couch. “Babe... you know it’ll do more harm than good to always keep it on”

  “I know, I know, I just.. ugh I don’t know. I just want them off. I don’t want to feel them! I don’t want them!” Ethan exclaimed as he tugged off his shirt and proceeded to tear off the bind from his body. “I hate my body!” Ethan shouted as he curled into a ball to shield himself from their eyes.

 The couch dipped on the other side of Ethan, signifying Tyler’s appearance. he felt pairs of hands lay on his body, slowly opening him from his ball.

  “Ethan... we love you. Regardless of whether or not you love yourself. We’ll help you love yourself. We promise. You’ve been through so much, baby boy,” Tyler whispered as he looked into Ethan’s tearing eyes, “nothing’s going to stop us from loving you. N-not a penis or boobs or anything. We’ll love you for you.”

 Ethan sniffed and looked at Mark who had just as much concern and love in his eyes as Tyler did. “Really?” Ethan asked, feeling his heart grow.

  “Really.” they said simultaneously as they both kissed Ethan’s face. Mark wiped the tears from his eyes with the swipe of his thumb. 

  “Want us to stay? We can stay as long as you want, Eth. We’ll always be here for you,” Mark asked as he stood from the couch, leading Ethan and Tyler into the bedroom where they all laid down on Ethan’s large bed. Mark and Tyler slept, their bodies facing Ethan as he curled into a fetus position to lay between them.

 They dotted kisses all across Ethan’s neck and face before they all fell asleep together. When Mark woke up, Tyler rubbed his nose into Ethan’s neck as he slept, his face curled into a small smile.

  “I’ll make dinner.” Tyler mumbled as he slowly left the room and left Mark with Ethan. The smaller boy slid his hands to wrap around Mark’s arm and squeeze it. Mark endearingly scooted closer and held Ethan, waiting for their blue boy to wake up.

[sinfulblueberry]

@crankyplier chris im so sorry i saw the chance to have it and i took it im sorry i took the bull by the horns but it wasn’t without wounds

[nickelodeon-girl]

i think the 'spam' snapback is a strong indication its joji

yeah pretty sure he’s the biggest spam fan out therebut imma say the boy’s got thicc cheeks

[mufasawilldie]

I guess it's a new trend in the fandom to make your URL "crankiplier" but replace the "i" with any other letter from the alphabet to look cool

[2dcore]

i just want to be apart of one of those tumblr squads where they write imagines together and have a discord and ugh my expectations are too high

[septicsass]

A senpai from my main acct noticed me (and I’m too lazy to go to my main and do this) So Here’s some Anti and Ethernet ( @crankyplier ‘s anti-Ethan) headcanons because I love their mechanical blue boy too.

-Ethernet can feel Anti before he even walks in the room, Anti cant help it

-Meeting each other is awkward, Jack makes Anti be civil and so they shake hands and the contact drives Eth up a wall with static

-the longer he’s around Eth the more Anti makes an effort not to effect him as much, though he’s curious to se how much he effects Eth and in what way

-Like Jack is recording in the next room and everything glitches out just so Anti can sit next to Eth

-Anti makes a effort not to hurt people because he knows Eth doesn’t like it

-Jack is surprised to see his evil counterpart turn a new leaf for this robot

-I’m shipping madwoman stick with me here

-Like he’ll focus on blowing up phones of people down the street just to hold his hand

-their first kiss is literal fireworks of sparks

-no one’s phones work properly when these two are together

[wilfcrd]

Norbert is just they're canon crankyplier

[shamefulbirb]

im telling on u

NO THATS NOT FAIRYOU CANT SNITCH ON ME YOURE SUPPOSE TO BE MY FRIEND

[greyforthewicked]

hot takes courtesy of @crankyplier

[ao3-writer]

Hey, do you have any sad Ethan and comforting teamilplier his your like to share? Plz I'll behave!

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10196855

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11043936

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10422804/chapters/23013108

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10422804/chapters/23343321

I haven’t read the first two, my friend recommended them so i’m bound to read it. The second two may or may not be mine but they’re the first ones that popped into my head so yeah  are not bad. Couldn’t dig up any comfort teamiplier ones tho. Most of these have Comforting!Tyler and Comforting!Mark so… sorryyyy. Hope this helped.

[sinfulblueberry]

@crankyplier like.........who even is ana. what do they like..............do. what makes them deserve ur brand. Who Do They Think They Are

[nickelodeon-girl]

i like it it looks nice

i guess it’s a bit darker than id likethank you my dude

[catsnuggie]

rules: tag 10 people you wanna get to know better

tagged by: @mg549

relationship status: DOUBLE TAKEN YO

favourite colour: the brightest most saturated ultramarine possible

lipstick or chapstick: i hoard chapstick. seriously

3 fave foods: raspberries... cookie dough ice cream.... shrimp

last song listened to: outside by bill wurtz

top 3 shows: mr. robot, mythbusters, uhhhhhhh scrubs

top 3 bands: kero kero bonito, lemon demon, weezer/bill wurtz

book i'm currently reading: coriolanus lmao im a hoe for shakespeare

tagging: @imgayjokes2 @crankyplier @joey-rosenburg @robo-neil (if u havent been tagged already) @shrimp-babysitter @catsabode @spirit-wizard-nerd @egoofabookshelf uuuuhhhh anyone else that wants 2

(u dont have to do this if ur tagged)