#craisin

[fullcravings]

Salted Brown Butter Cranberry White Chocolate Bars

[catfindr]

[squireofthegrove]

delicious

[smackdownhotel]

Today’s yogurt

Honey nut craisin crunch

[matospectoru-art]

Granny Smith and Craisin Chicken Salad

[craisin-opinion]

My opinion on craisins is that they are very good. Better than any other dried fruit.

[cdmtraveling]

Chocolate Craisin Popcorn

[purplethign]

Revenge. Hehdhdhdhdhshsjjskejehehhe. You might recognize this copypasta from when we were roasting a certain fictional dude whose name started with g.

Shut up boy you look like a velociraptor in a clogged toilet bowl! Bruh you look like an off brand Ben 10 character! Nah you ain’t Ben 10 you Steven 9! Get yo ass back boy, you look like you got expelled for barking at yo lunch lady! Shut yo ass up boy, you ain’t from Jurassic Park, you came from the prehistoric playground! Get yo ass out boy you like Clifford the big red dog’s fossil! Boy what are you talking about with yo nasty ass boy you better get yo 🎶autumn was an average kid that no one understands WOAHH! Mom and Dad and Grandma always giving him commands!🎶Lookin ass boy bruh your balls dropped and then climbed back up boy! Stop playing with me boy you sexually identify as an unsolved Rubik’s cube! You made an NFT of your grandma twerking on a pickle! You tried turning your dishwasher into a bitcoin mining rig! Your best friend is a little mouse who lives under your bed in a Pringles can! Mom uses a jump rope as a belt! Your grandpa got an emergency heart transplant with a capri sun pouch! Your barber lined you up with a weedwacker! You had esex with Moby from Brain Pop in an encrypted HTML file! Uncle got arrested for eating a blueberry out of an orangutan’s asshole! Your sister’s currently engaged to an anthropomorphic dung beetle named, Stefan! Grandpa got held up by a pigeon with a Mohawk on the subway! You posted an Instagram story of a Jamaican cricket giving a lap dance in the back of a toys R us! Your dad was trying to flip Patrick the star’s belly button lint on the dark web to pay off your house mortgage! Your mother bought you a PS5 for successfully drawing a triangle! Your grandpa’s build like an expired chug jug! And your legal name is fang claw fuzzle wuzzles! Get yo ass on boy I’m not done with you bruh! I’m not done with you bruh you better get yo hippopotamus smelling cocomelon registered internet felon nasty and nerf a cleanse Foster home for imaginary friends! Excuse me, I only date 10$! Looking ass out of my face bruh stop playin bruh! Ants be using your grandma’s buttcrack as a slip and slide! In fact you finna pull up to yo grandmother’s funeral dressed up as a rabid orangutan! Yo furry ass boy you gonna OOHOOHOO I’m sorry grandma OOOHOOHOOHOO! Stop playing with my bruh you bout nasty as hell bruh! Bruh you be hitting on girls at lunchtime with yo sacred mating call! You be standing on the table going UUUUAAAAOOOAAAU! Stop playing boy you bout nasty ad hell bruh! Boy you better get yo pterodactyl good at scrabble shriveled apple attracted to beef cattle conceived on a horse saddle you don’t run you skedaddle pastor did questionable things to you in the middle of a church chapel lookin ass back boy! You bout dirty as hell! Better get yo 🎶all of you hoes, all of you hoes! You don’t remember who y’all talkin to it’s the discord CEO! 🎶lookin ass back out of my face! Boy you bout dirty as hell! Get yo lol diggity diggity ass on boyyyy!

get off anon you dastardly bastardly cowardly dried up cranberry

[bajablasterrr]

I feel like Danny has a really specific relationship with everyone in the BatFam that culminates in very different ways

Like Danny and Tim would have a lot in common based on the fact that

1.) their parents are kinda weird

2.) they don’t tell anyone about anything until it comes up out of nowhere

Like one day while Danny was watching TV with Dick, Jason, and Tim, Tim mentions something about The Joker being hospitalized before getting sent back to Arkham Asylum.

Danny without missing a beat goes

“Oh please he’ll be fine, I almost got killed fighting my future self once and look at me, I’m great now.”

Everyone except Tim stops what they’re doing because they’re trying to comprehend the sentence they just heard

Dick replies, “Im sorry, you did what?”

And Tim who has also been traumatized enough times that he needs a punch card replies

“Oh, that’s nothing. This one time I had injuries that were so severe I had to get my spleen removed.”

Dick, fully losing his composure screams at Tim “I’m sorry, YOU DID WHAT!!!”

Danny replies “Dude, that’s so metal.”

Jason is busy doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out how none of them figured this out yet and he just goes

“When did you have the time to lose your spleen??”

Which prompts Tim (who is still unfazed at this point) to recant the entire situation that led to this and then he finishes his story like

“And now I have no spleen and no immune system. 🙂”

And poor Jason and Dick who are genuinely never on the same wavelength both yell

“YOU DONT HAVE AN IMMUNE SYSTEM?!?!?”

Meanwhile Danny is just sitting here watching this whole thing go down and just goes

“God I love this family, they’re just as crazy as mine.”

[angiestown]

compilation of miscellaneous stuff I never posted

[fullcravings]

Cranberry Bliss Bars

[cirgaydian-rhythm]

Happy Holidays - Have Some Cookies

I feel like sharing this recipe with everyone since I've gotten really positive feedback on them.

Oatmeal Craisin Cookies

Yes, "craisins" as in "dried cranberries." My partner and I aren't big raisin fans, but we do love craisins. If you're the opposite, you can easily swap them out, obviously.

I don't remember exactly how I cobbled this recipe together, I just know that I used at least two different sources.

Ingredients

1 cup salted butter, softened (you can use unsalted butter, but you may need to up the added salt content) 1 cup dark brown sugar, packed (light brown sugar will also work, but I think the lower molasses content will affect the texture and flavor) 1/2 cup white granulated sugar 2 large eggs 2 tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp ground cinnamon 2 cups old-fashioned oats (I don't recommend steel-cut or quick oats, but you do you) 2 cups (240 g) all-purpose flour (I've not tried this with any other type of flour, nor do I necessarily recommend using any non-glutenous or non-glutenous-like flour, as it will at the very least make the batter much looser than intended) 1 tsp baking soda 1 tsp salt 1 cup craisins

Directions

In separate bowl, whisk together eggs and vanilla extract, then add craisins. Let sit to soften craisins. In mixing bowl (stand mixer is HIGHLY recommended as this dough is very thick), mix butter and sugars. Add egg mixture to mixing bowl and mix. Add the rest of the ingredients and mix. Let dough chill in fridge for at least 30 minutes (this keeps them from spreading too much once in the oven; if you want to chill the dough for more than an hour, I recommend rolling it into balls beforehand as the colder the dough gets, the tougher it is to work with, though you can also take the dough out of the fridge and let it warm up on the counter for 30 minutes before trying to work with it). Preheat oven to 375°F. Roll dough into balls by hand (this helps pack the oats and craisins into the cookies so they're not jutting out all over the place once baked; I use a 1" cookie ball scoop just to keep the sizes more or less consistent, then properly roll them before placing them on a cookie sheet; also I recommend wearing gloves for this part, as the dough is VERY sticky and I can't guarantee your hands won't feel like they're coated in butter for hours afterwards no matter how well you wash them). Bake 10-12 minutes (I usually put them in for 11 minutes or a little over, but the exact time depends on your oven; if the dough balls are straight from the fridge, they may need a bit longer; on the upside, there's so much sugar in these that it doesn't hurt if they get a little dark on the edges!).

Notes:

These come out of the oven VERY SOFT, and you might mistake them for not being done - trust me, they're most likely perfectly done, and any longer will result in an unpleasantly crunchy (if not outright burnt) cookie. If you're really unsure about how long your oven needs to bake these, start off doing small batches and let your "test" batch cool down before trying to move them off the parchment paper. If they're still gooey after 5~10 minutes, add another 30-60 seconds to your baking time, but most likely they'll have firmed up enough to at least pick up without them falling apart on you.

I use these "air bake" cookie sheets, which work wonderfully well for these cookies, plus baking parchment; I've not tried making them on regular baking sheets or without parchment, so cooking times may need to be adjusted for that.

Even with chilling the dough , the cookies do still spread out, so make sure to leave a good amount of space between each ball. This recipe makes quite a lot of cookies (about 69 if using a 1" cookie scoop), so depending on your setup, you'll have to work in batches. I try to get all the dough rolled out into balls before I even start baking them, so it's quick and easy to swap them out. We keep our house on the cooler side, so it's not usually a problem, but if your house (or your kitchen) is on the warmer side, you may want to keep the balls refrigerated while they await their turn in the oven.

Lastly, I highly recommend stacked cooling racks for these. Because of how soft they are fresh out of the oven, I'll slide the parchment paper off the cookie sheets and onto a cooling rack with a finer mesh, then transfer the cookies to the stacked cooling racks once they've firmed up a bit (about 2~3 minutes) leaving the finer mesh rack available for the next batch. The reason why I recommend the stacked racks is that, again, this recipe makes a LOT of cookies, so the stacked racks are a good space-saver! Especially since these take a while to cool down completely at room temp (I've not tried chilling them directly post-bake - I think that might affect the texture), and they do need to be COMPLETELY cooled before they can be packed away (otherwise they warp and smoosh into each other - even when completely cooled, they'll stick to each other a bit, but they come back apart easily enough).

Have fun baking cookies! They may not really be "holiday" cookies, but this recipe is my gift to the internet void, so merry happy and all that jazz~

[ded-inside-anonymous]

I'm mad at Amaryllis 'flowers'

LOOK AT THIS--

THIS IS CLEARLY CELERY DISGUISING ITSELF AS A FLOWER!

So naturally I Google to see if the stalk is edible because look at the crunchy, water filled stalk THAT IS 100% JUST CELERY COSPLAYING AS A LILY

THE WHOLE THING IS POISONOUS

I SWEAR THIS WAS WRITTEN BY THE AMARYLLIS 'FLOWER' AS A COVER FOR IT BEING FREAKING CELERY!

Unfortunately I have no proof this is not written by scientists so I now have to debate risking death to find out what the forbidden celery tastes like

I'm very conflicted, my friends

Very conflicted

[leonardoeatscarrots]

🧡 for whichever pairing you'd like to write! (I'm sorry I don't know them super well yet)

Haha I totally get it! I'm super anxious, so I don't typically go out of my little bubble to tell people about my OCs heheh 😅

So I appreciate the ask!

Also please ignore the fact that it took me literal months to finish this 🤡💀

Writing shenanigans under the cut:

Pairing: Craig and Jadyn

Prompt: kissing in bed / lazy kiss / cuddling

Jadyn brushed Craig’s cheekbone with the back of his knuckles. He'd never realized Craig had freckles before. And yet, there they were like flecks of amber dotting his cheeks and nose. He wondered why he kept them hidden most of the time, could it have been that they made him look boyish? They did make him look boyish, Jadyn mused. The thought rolled around lazily like a marble in his head. With his thumb, he smoothed over his jaw. It wasn't a bad thing. Craig's freckles gave him a youthful glow that his dark eyes would have otherwise betrayed. Jadyn only wished he saw him more this way.

Craig stretched with a tired sigh and pawed at the night stand for a glass of water. Jadyn helped him to locate it and get it to his lips. When he had had his fill Craig resumed his place back on the pillows, peeking up at his partner with one glazed eye.

Jadyn's arms sank into the mattress around the smaller man as he kept himself propped up for an optimal view. It didn't take long for his fingers to find themselves tangled in ochre ringlets or softly brushing curls from Craig's face. He couldn't help himself, it was like honey poured out on the pillows and spiraling into golden pools. Even his lashes seemed to have that luster to them.

“You slept well, I take it?” Craig muttered. A smile crept onto his face, still weary from the eventful night. His arm, likewise, crept. It reached just behind Jadyn’s ear and pulled him close enough that he could feel his breath. Their lips had hardly brushed, but to Jadyn it was like all the gold in his lover's body, every freckle, every hair, every tired look, every morning ray had entered his body, passed his teeth, and filled his lungs with something too divine to hold. Then, clinging to Craig's chest, he felt it prickle in his cheeks as he watched his idol sleep in just a little longer…

[medium-guy]

you guys have no idea how much i love tuna salad

[sandboxer]

Every friend group needs the guy who proudly eats the stupidest shit imaginable. And every day I answer the call