#craig cash

[georgefairbrother]

Merry Christmas, My Arse!

(A clip from the 1999 Royle Family Christmas special)

Also remembering Liz Smith (Nanna), born 11th December, 1921; passed away 24th December, 2016.

And Caroline Aherne (Royle Family co-creator, writer and Denise), born 24th December, 1963. She passed away in 2016 aged 52.

[davedyecom]

PODCAST: JOHN LLOYD

Whatever happened to funny ads? Have clients buying them? Or have agencies stopped writing them? They used to dominate the ad breaks. Humour was the first tool you reached for after being handed a brief. Why? Well, as that Poppins women says ‘A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down’. Actually…did they dominate ad breaks? Maybe I’ve slipped on my rose-tinted specs again? I reach for an old…

[anditendshowyoudexpect]

finally watched Ralph and Katie, and it’s 😍 

much lighter than The A Word and so so wholesome

it was fantastic to see Tom too, and even Rebecca’s baby girl

ngl i expected Maurice to show up at some point but there is kinda a lite version of him

[whynot-movies]

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

[delllasoul]

7 days

[louisxleprince]

officially submitting my serious but also chaotic knives out 3 casting choices

[lupismaris]

Cannibalism mutuals I may be asking your opinion on tattoo placement in the near future standby

[fazcinatingblog]

Things that my boss doesn't read:

An email forwarded to her regarding a client's tax return with me adding who's done that work and what stage it's at

Things my boss does read:

A random page from like several days ago where her surname is spelt wrong

[urdreamgirls-dreamgirl]

watched that new jennifer lawrence comedy on netflix and like. should we make it steddie?

steve’s a rich kid who grew up having to be self sufficient because of his parents traveling constantly for work. he’s basically a mini adult, but because of that, he sees himself as a lot more mature than the rest of the people his age and by the time he’s ready for college, he’s missed out on a lot of the social milestones that young men his age are experiencing. instead of going to prom, he’d hung out around the house with his weird nerdy band geek best friend having marshmallow eating contests and watching bad rom coms. instead of going to graduation parties, the two of them had built a tent in the harringtons massive backyard and gone night swimming before camping out.

enter his parents, who are less worried abt steve coming out of his shell for his own independence and comfort and more worried that he’ll embarrass them at his ivy league in the fall. there’s been a long line of harrington men attending yale and they’ve paid a lot of money to even get steve a spot there, so if he fucks this up, if he doesn’t join the right clubs and make the right friends, they’re worried it’ll all be a waste.

so they put an ad on craig’s list. eddie and his bandmates are trolling the boards, looking for any odd jobs they can find to try and raise the cash they need to record a demo at the local studio. jeff points it out as a joke and, after laughing at the poor pathetic dweeb whose parents think he’s such a dud they’re trying to set him up with a stranger, they scroll on. but later that night, eddie pulls up the page on his own phone while he’s lying in bed. the offered amount is more than enough to pay for their studio time and then some. eddie calls them and sets a meeting.

when he gets to the harringtons beach house, he’s nervous. he’s a townie and townies are rarely invited into the massive homes that line the shoreline. he knows what he looks like and he knows that the rich tourists who infest the beachside towns every summer tend to steer clear of him when they see him around.

but he needs the money and after meeting with the couple, he thinks this kid probably needs all the help he can get and so he decides to meet their son steve.

turns out steve’s a lot more attractive than he’d imagined and he’s only a couple of years younger than eddie is. he’s also a lot more flirty and charismatic than eddie had assumed. turns out, steve doesn’t lack the ability to make friends or get dates, he just really hasn’t been interested in anyone… at least, not until now.

they hit it off almost immediately. eddie’s never had this much fun with anyone he’s ever tried to date before. steve is funny and smart in very specific ways and his best friend, robin, is a riot. eddie’s not sure how steve’s parents don’t see any of that, but then steve tells him all about how he’d grown up basically alone, how he’d had to make a lot of his own fun growing up, how he’d rarely ever even seen his parents between the ages of 11 and 18. they hadn’t even made it to his high school graduation. steve reveals to eddie that he’s not even sure he wants to go to yale at all, that he only agreed because he’s not sure what else to do.

and eddie tells steve about his dad, abt how he’d gone to jail when eddie was 13, on a job with eddie in tow. he tells steve abt how his mom was heartbroken afterwards, would barely get out of bed to even pick him up from school. he tells steve abt the car accident, the flashing lights of the police car that had picked him up one day and taken him to a foster home before wayne had been called down from upstate to come collect him. wayne had moved out onto the island, trying not to disrupt eddie’s life more than he had to, but prices down here were so much higher and he’d had to work all the time. he’d done so much for eddie and eddie is so grateful… he just wants to pay him back anyway he can.

they reveal things to each other no one else knows and suddenly, as the summers coming to a close, eddie realizes that he’s been falling in love this whole time. but before he can tell steve abt the deal, before he can apologize and come clean and confess his feelings, steve has some kind of massive blowout with his dad. and his dad—in all his anger—tells steve the truth. he tells steve how steve is so pathetic that he and his mom had had to buy him a boyfriend.

steve is, obviously and understandably, beyond devastated. he confronts eddie with tears in his eyes, begging eddie to tell him it isn’t true, that his dad was a liar and he’d just known where to hit him hardest. but eddie can’t deny it. that is how all this started.

eddie doesn’t see steve again, not around town, not at any of their usual haunts, and soon the school year is starting. steve, eddie assumes, has moved into his dorm at yale and is, hopefully, making new friends. by the time thanksgiving break comes around, eddie can finally think about steve with only a tiny ache in his chest. he and the band have recorded their first demo, thanks to that harrington money, complete with the saddest love song eddie’s ever written.

and suddenly steve is there in the bar eddie works at, where he’d been taking steve on their nights out all summer. his brown hair looks extra soft and he’s wearing a quarter zip with the yale logo emblazoned over his heart. they stand there and stare at each other for a moment too long before they both try to speak at the same time.

“no, me first,” steve says, and eddie really can’t deny him this. he’s the one who ruined everything, after all. “what you did to me was terrible.” it’s straightforward and factual, but eddie’s face burns. “you hurt me. a lot.” eddie watches as steve swallows. “i told you things i’ve never said out loud.” eddie opens his mouth to speak, but steve powers through. “but now i’m up in connecticut and i’m meeting all these new people. and some of them are great. but i can’t help but compare them to you. everyone i meet, i think of you. and no one is as fun as you, and no one makes me feel as good. no one sees me like you did.”

eddie’s speechless for a moment, mouth dry. he swallows. steve’s looking at him expectantly. “i was always honest abt how i felt about you, stevie. i really was falling in love with you. or… i mean…” eddie pauses, runs a hand through his hair. “i mean, i love you. i am in love you, like, currently. ongoing. probably in perpetuity which, uh, you know. is like, forever or whatever.”

“yeah?” steve asks softly, a small smile curving on his lips. “forever or whatever?”

eddie can feel himself returning that small smile, nodding. “yeah,” he responds, “ no biggie, though.”

steve laughs. “i kind of disagree. cause i don’t know abt you, but i’ve never been loved in perpetuity before. seems pretty big to me.” eddie shrugs as he watches steve close the distance, smiles widening. “i’m pretty sure i love you too, you know.”

“pretty sure?”

“i’m trying to be a little aloof abt it. not reveal my whole hand too soon.” they’re standing chest to chest now, eddie can feel steve’s breath on his face, they’re so close.

“right. makes sense,” eddie murmurs, staring steve’s wet pink mouth. and then they’re kissing.

and they kiss until gareth comes into the bar for the start of his and eddie’s shared shift and turns the club soda spout on them.

they have a lot to talk abt. but thanksgiving break is a whole week long and after that it’s only two weeks until winter break. eddie has a lot of time to make it all up to steve, in any way he can, in perpetuity.

[bambi-kinos]

Beatles Reading List (Introductory)

Hi guys. So I saw a post floating around asking about "where to start" with the Beatles and how to find out more about them. Moeexyz's recommendation on it was to read fanfiction and this alarmed me a bit. Fanfiction just isn't a good source to get information about the band for one simple reason: fanfic authors change stuff for dramatic purposes all the time. It's just not a great way to get more information about them because fanfiction by necessity shifts things around for the sake of storytelling.

That Beatles iceberg is nice but the only way you're going to get a good picture of the Beatles is by doing a lot of reading of published sources. That's right. You're in for a lot of homework.

In an effort to combat misinformation, I asked the McLennon discord server to help me put together a rough list of introductory level books for Beatle fans that want to learn more about the band. These books are either a) read by me or b) read by someone I trust and I have included her quotes about the books she liked. I'll have color commentary talking about what they are and why they should be read. I do not consider this post finished! My server is constantly reading and discussing (we're looking at podcasts right now because they're the ones doing interviews with Liverpool citizens who were peers of the Beatles!) and they're being very gracious by contributing to this list. That means that this post may be updated in the future as I read more! If you want to keep up with updates then give my blog a follow, I'll post every time I update this list.

Some of these books are available on Archive.org but others can be gotten through your local library or through piracy. If you buy something, buy it used. Never pay more than $20 for a Beatle book.

The Whole Story

Anthology This is the documentary made by the band after John Lennon's death in 1980. It is both a documentary as well as a book (essentially a script of the documentary) which makes it very accessible. This is the version of the story that the band wanted to put out and includes interviews with Paul, George, and Ringo. They cover their beginning to their end. Anthology can be found on archive.org if you want to read it: https://archive.org/details/beatlesanthology0000unse_y2k8 The episodes are also available on Archive.org. If you search for "Beatles Anthology" and select "movies" option to search for videos then you will find it there. It's worth the watch and is all around the best introduction to the Beatles.

The Beatles - Hunter Davies This is the only sanctioned biography of the band. It's written in older language since it is contemporary to the 1960s but it's still very readable and a good intro. It is part of the media image that the band wanted to present at the time so you should make sure to think about what you are reading, who is saying what, and contemplate why he is saying it. It it still a great resource.

150 Glimpses of the Beatles - Craig Brown This is a short book that describes 150 anecdotes about the Beatles and what it was like to experience them. I recommend this because it demonstrates what a unique and personal experience the Beatles are while also demonstrating their global reach and how they became the most famous rock band in the world. It's a short read but a good one and there are many charming and thought provoking anecdotes in it. The story of the Beatles is just as much about their fans as it is about the band and you cannot understand one without looking at the other.

Books About Each Beatle

This particular section is a bit of a minefield. Many books written about the Beatles are of questionable veracity or just out and out wrong. (I can think of two that were written as blatant cash grabs and filled with libel that someone should have been sued over.) My recommendations on this may change so please check back from time to time! John Lennon

The John Lennon Letters - John Lennon, edited by Hunter Davies Primary source documents of the various letters and missives John wrote through his life. This may be the most important book on the list because it shows us who John really is: just another ordinary guy like us, trying to get through life. Also gives insight into his mindset as the decades pressed on.

The Making of John Lennon - Francis Kenny This is a very vital and heartbreaking read for people who want more insight into John. John Lennon is the most famous Beatle but he is also the one who's image is the most obscured and distorted. Francis Kenny is a Liverpool native who puts John in his proper context. To quote my server friend who read this one: Kenny, himself a Liverpudlian, takes into account how life in Liverpool in the first half of the 20th century shaped not only John but everyone he knew and his entire family. Mimi and Julia get a good critical view, and Uncle George gets his moment in the sun. He also lays out how class divides affected the Stanleys and then how Mimi took it out on John and Julia. He quotes a 1880s travel guide of London that said Liverpool was called "the New York of Europe," because of its economy and place on the ocean, and like in the Gilded Age New York that was happening concurrently across the ocean, Liverpool had pockets of wealth and splendor surrounded by poverty and rough living. Definitely a pro-read and a great insight into the culture and time John lived in. It does not fall into the pitfalls of hero worshipping John but Francis Kenny still treats John with sympathy and respect, hard qualities to come by when it comes to the cashgrabs written about John and his family.

John - Cynthia Lennon John's first wife, Cynthia, wrote two autobiographies about herself and John. This is one of them. It's a tough read in many places but a good one. Hers is a voice that doesn't shy away from John's flaws and actions but she also takes care to tell us why she and so many other people love him and remain loyal to him.

Paul McCartney

Many Years From Now - Barry Miles This is Paul's only sanctioned biography. It is formatted as a quasi-interview with Paul where there are interruptions of regular prose in each chapter. There are eyebrow raising moments where you can tell Paul is not quite telling the truth but it's important to read and identify these moments since Paul's habit of embroidering the truth is important to know and understand. Nonetheless it is still a lot more honest than I was expecting when I read it.

Paul McCartney: A Life - Peter Ames Carlin Probably the best Paul McCartney biography on the market. Peter Ames Carlin also did a similarly great bio of Paul Simon for people who are into that. To quote my friend Betty who read it: Paul gets to be a whole person here: the preternaturally talented boy wonder, the guy casting around for meaning, the less than attractive moments and qualities described without getting preachy or turning to [Paul Derangement Syndrome]. Carlin treats him with dignity instead of something to be gawked at and gossiped about. His (many) sources are cited at the end of the book. What I really appreciated was the ideas he put forth that I've only seen on Tumblr and not in Serious Official Biographies, which says to me he's writing as a fan and scholar and not a journalist trying to fill column inches.

George Harrison

I Me Mine - George Harrison Make sure to get the extended edition! George Harrison in his own words. There's a lot to say about this biography but it won't make much sense without context so I just encourage you to read it. George Harrison was, in my opinion, the best Beatle.

George Harrison: Behind the Locked Door - Graeme Thomson A good no bullshit biography about George Harrison. This covers his life as the material musician and the man seeking the divine. Graeme worked very hard to be respectful of George and his life, did extensive interviews with George's wife Olivia. Such a pro-read and definitely the best George biography written to date.

Ringo Starr

Photograph - Ringo Starr Ringo has stated that this book is his autobiography. In a few bumpers on the Beatles Sirius XM channel Ringo says that he doesn't want to write a biography like the others did but he was happy with putting this photobook together and essentially writing a bio through the captions. This is the closest that we will get for a biography for him as of right now. In time that may change but this is your best option. Piracy is the way to go when it comes to getting a copy of this, iirc it was a limited run and getting a physical copy might be very expensive these days.

Brian Epstein

A Cellarful of Noise - Brian Epstein/Derek Taylor This autobiography was ghostwritten by Brian's assistant Derek Taylor. It's not a tell-all but Brian talks about his youth and how he met the Beatles, including giving his own personal (and accurate) insights into each band member.

Conclusion

There are many, many books about the Beatles. Almost all of them offer something but most are about very niche periods in the Beatles history. When it comes to understanding the band I tried to put together a list where you can get an overview of the band and then read materials that either come straight from the Beatle in question or are not as biased as the competition. I am a McLennon shipper but for a post like this I did my best to recommend books that don't have that kind of bias in them so this is a list you can send to non-shipper friends haha.

In another post I will put together a history book list in the order of their timeline as a band, starting from the Quarrymen and on to the present. There is a LOT of ground to cover in a historical arrangement and it will take a while to compile. Please check back here regularly or give me a follow: whenever I update this post or make a new list, I'll make sure to post about it.

My plan is to make a website with all of this information that anyone can reference but it will take a long long time to make such a thing so put a pin in that one.

[bloogers-boogers]

I was thinking of an au where Craig calls Cartman for help during a really bad breakup with Tweek. He asks him to help him get Tweek back and Cartman couldn't find himself to say no (+plus something for exchange) so he ends up suggesting something very basic as making Tweek jealous. Initially, Cartman thought he had everthing calculated until both him and Craig figure out that the both "boyfriend" candidates weren't willing to do the job not even for cash.

So they were left with no more options. However while Cartman was thinking for another solution Craig suggests him to be his boyfriend which leaves Cartman both in shocked and in a panic.

"Dude I'm not dating you! What makes you think I'd do that? I would not hear the end of this with my friends!"

"It's just for the month or until Tweek snaps! Stop being such an asshole. I'm also putting my reputation at point by dating you."

So after a bunch of talking (negotiating) Cartman ends up agreeing to do this. Monday hits and they start settling the plan by snooping around and making Clyde their primary target, making him suspicious and eventually discovering the two snuggling behind some bushes.

And lord an behold, next day everyone had their eyes on them. Whispering, gossiping, giving them the eyes, some looked concerned. But most importantly, they succeeded for the rumor to spread of their so called "secret" relationship.

Some of the girls whispered about feeling bad for Tweek as he entered and walked furious through the hallway.

Tweek eventually find Stan and Kyle, and straight up goes twoards them.

"Is it true?"

"Hey, Tweek. What's up?" Stan asks, clearly aware of the issue but was too awkward to add anything more.

"Is it true?" Tweek repeatedly said more sternly.

"Dude, be smart. It's probably some scheme Cartman is doing," Kyle spoke after brief seconds, "I just can't point out what he'd gain from this..." he added lastly before his eyes darted away from Tweek's, seemingly in thought.

"I figured. My Craig would never go that low".

And after that last thing said the devil was summoned. And Cartman had approached the three with a 'innocent' smile.

"Hey, broships.

Tweek." He seethed out the blonds name. Already taking note of the other's furious appearance.

Seconds after Tweek grabs him from his coat and slams him harshly against the lockers; startling everyone there and ofcourse Cartman. Who cursed out loud because of the impact on his back.

It was quite a sight for the students that they started forming a circle around them.

"WHY ARE YOU SPREADING FALSE RUMORS OF YOU AND CRAIG BEING A COUPLE?!"

"They're not false, Tweek." A nonchalant but familiar voice chimes in making the blond gasp silently as he kept his eyes still on the brunette. "We're dating.

Are you okay, Eric?"

The other students gasped, Stan and Kyle were left speechless. Mostly Kyle who watched in disbelief at Craig and then looked at Cartman for any left affirmation of this but the brunette was too focus on getting loose from Tweeks grip to even notice.

"Do I look okay?! Get this bitch off me!!" Cartman screamed annoyed as Tweek let go.

He gave one look at Craig before marching to class without a word said leaving everyone else watching. Again, except for Kyle who still remained looking at Cartman with a open mouth and a shocked expression.

The bell rang and this was Craig's signal to grab Cartman's hand and drag him away from the others. As the students disperse different ways and head to their respective classrooms.

At class Craig was second doubting about the whole thing, a little anxious and wondering if Tweek would ever forgive him after he tells him this is all some set up to get back with him. But what's done is done, and he has to follow through with it.

Eventually lunch time came along and he and Cartman sat in a table apart from others they use this as an opportunity to talk about their situation and the responses of their peers; mostly close friends and ofcourse Tweek's.

Craig was pleased to hear that Cartman was told by Kenny about how Tweek started questioning further about them during forth period mostly interrogating Stan and Kyle as if he suspected them to know more considering they're close friends with Cartman. However they had nothing and Kyle was skeptical and still unsure about the whole relationship thing aswell.

Speaking of Kyle, he waited at last period outside Craig's classroom and the moment he had come out from class Kyle yanked his arm and dragged him away from the crowd of students, not leaving him to process anything of what was going on.

Craig looked at him confused as the redhead checked that no one was around before speaking up.

"What did Cartman get you into? Is he blackmailing you? Is he forcing you to do this?" Kyle began rambling about Cartman typical ways and that he'd understood if he were being blackmailed by Cartman and that he could help him get out from it if he told him the truth.

All of this talking was beginning to overwhelm Craig and he didn't know why it surprised him that Kyle would come his way just to prevent something involving Cartman when both of them are obsessed in some way with each other. It isn't new to him neither to the rest of the school or town.

"Dude, shut up already. I'm not being manipulated, blackmail neither 'threatened' by Cartman," he hold back as he made sure to sound and look convincing to Kyle.

Kyle on the other hand was giving him these strong vibes, Craig just couldn't tell what it was but his stare was intensely focused on him and he was feeling uncomfortable. Normally he doesn't usually speak with any of these assholes aside from Kenny's and sometimes Cartman so he figured that must've been it. The abruptness of the whole thing and who it was.

"I really like Eric," he frowned with uncertainty, it feels so wrong to say that when he was thinking of Tweek. But he must sound believable.

Kyle frowned disappointed with the answer and began looking at him from feet to head as if he was trying so hard to find something on him.

And a couple of minutes an another ramble about not trusting Cartman blah blah blah, the redhead finished off with giving him a warning and to be cautious. Also call him if anything, which Craig just sighed annoyed once he was out of sight.

"Dude, I just got a 10 hr lecture from Kyle," he spat annoyed as he entered the other's home.

They had agree on coming to Cartman's house every day after school to discuss their progress. However Craig was annoyingly frustrated because their plan never had a added bonus of having to deal with some paranoid motherfucker.

Cartman was in his couch writing down who knows what in some notebook.

"Yeah, that's normal. Just ignore him everytime he tries to approach you with something," Cartman just answers so casually and unfazed by it as he continued writing in the notebook.

"So what, I'll just have to deal with that? The hell, fatboy? How do I get him to leave me alone!"

Cartman just laughed, "He won't leave you alone, you'll just have to deal with him until all of this ends."

"I don't want to deal with him! I only want to be focused on Tweek not worry for my next 10 hr lecture."

"Yeah, well. What do you want me to say? Kyle has always been like that ever since I dated Heidi. Get over it and ignore him, cause he'll do anything to keep anyone from getting close to me. Something about it never ending healthy, me being unworthy, heartless all that shit that's link to being a monster or whatever," Cartman finally put his pencil aside and passed him the notebook. Gesturing for he to read it.

Craig didn't until he was given some answer to get Kyle to leave him alone.

"Don't you think that's a little excessive even for you? Like, yeah you're and asshole and shit, no one really SHOULD get with you but that isn't really his business or no one else's but yours."

Cartman paused as he looked around seemingly in thought before shrugging. "Can't stop the ginger."

Craig frowned and got tired of insisting, dropping the whole subject taking account that Cartman didn't seem bothered by it or remotely interested of preventing Kyle from getting involved.

He looked at the notebook in hand and Cartman explained to him that they were instructions of how their "relationship" was gonna work from now on. Gestures, compliments, cheek kisses a peck on the mouth goodbye and in extremes cases a genuine kiss with tongue.

Craig wondered if it truly was worth it when firstly Tweek was giving him the cold shoulder and two, KYLE.

Two weeks in it was either being bluntly ignored by Tweek (worse if they accidentally bump into eachother Tweek would glare at him) or Kyle pestering about how he should reconsider the class of guy he’s with and to break up with him already. Even though Cartman surprisingly has been following the rules he had made to a tee. So he was being a "good" boyfriend infront of everyone.

"I'm telling you it's all an act. Cartman wants something I can feel it! You really shouldn't trust him, Craig. Besides don't you still have feelings for Tweek?"

'God this loser' Craig thought as he closed his locker and continued walking, trying to mind his own damn business.

"Kyle, for the millionth time. I'm not breaking up with Eric. So just stop insisting on breaking my relationship with him cause it's not happening."

Kyle reaction this time was very diffrent from the other confrontations they've had. This time his face was red as if he was embarrassed and he seem sad for a second before he covered it up with a scowl, "I'm not trying to force you to break up with him! I just THINK you should reconsider it. He doesn't even fit the type of guys you're interested in!"

Craig arched a brow to that, "and what exactly is my type?"

"I don't know, blonds?"

Craig huffed, "Dude why does it matter so much to you? Just let it be. If he does something then I'll handle it on my own, that's my problem not yours!"

He was about to walk off but he stopped when Kyle snapped at him, "WHAT DO YOU EVEN LIKE ABOUT HIM?! What was it that got you to look at him and say to yourself 'fuck I want his fatass'! Cause Cartman has done nothing to you for you to like him! Look at him or touch him! So why do you like him?!" it startled the shit out of him he stood still now looking at the fuming redhead, "he's a narcissistic bigoted piece of shit who belittles people for fun and a freaking racist! What's so charming about that? Why put yourself with a person you know isn't good for you! Is it some challenge for you? Are you challenging yourself to change Cartman?? Cause fuck you! He won't!"

"Dude. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Craig spat in disbelief. Kyle scoffed dryly before silently stomping away in defeat.

Maybe he finally realized how crazy he sounded.

A day after Cartman enters his room with out notice, taking him off guard while changing clothes.

"THE FUCK DUDE?!"

Cartman sat on his desk chair, "Kyle knows." He spat casually as he checks his nails.

"WHAT."

"Yeah I told him yesterday."

"Why the hell would you tell him?!"

"Cause he wasn't leaving me alone about it," Cartman shrugged as it his reasons were obvious.

"Dude you said we couldn't tell anyone and that 'Kyle does it all the time, get over yourself and ignore him' !!"

"I never said I would. Don't trip, Kyle won't say anything," he shrugged it off with his hand, "also that's not why I'm here for."

Craig arched a brow confused as he zipped his pants up.

"Kyle told me something interesting yesterday about Tweek. You're welcome btw, cause if I hadn't told Kyle about this you wouldn't be getting this information at all, but whatever I guess.

Anyways, Tweek is planning to talk to you on Friday so don't mess it up."

"Wait, why all of the sudden?"

"I dunno man, jesus, that's what Kyle overheard during P.E. but if you want to know more about it, you can ask Tolkien. Cause that's who Tweek was talking with."

Craig bit his lip contemplating it but denied with his head, "nah, I'll just wait till Friday and find out from Tweek."

Cartman groaned annoyed, "you're so boring and plain no wonder Tweek broke up with you in the first place."

"Tweek broke up with me because I have problems communicating atleast that's what he says I do."

"Uhuh. He does got a point, cause you suck."

"Can you get out of my house already!"

It was Wednesday and he can for sure tell Kyle was no longer gonna be a problem for him, not even a glance his way since he arrived to school; like how it normally was before he announced "dating" Cartman. Well atleast the first few periods, lunch time however Cartman decided to sit with his friends and Kyle look his way for a few seconds before returning his attention on Stan.

He sighed relieved that he no longer had to deal with all of that.

And after what feels like an eternity he finally was able to sit with his friends without feeling uncomfortable around Tweek. He was still ignoring him and was sitting right next to Tolkien but not much drama aside from Clyde's typical gossip.

He couldn't help but take sneak glances at Tweek. His blond locks, pale skin, he even missed seeing those dark eye circles on his beautiful face. He wants to plant plenty of kisses in ever corner and inch of it.

"So, how things with Cartman?" Tolkien asked.

Craig scoffed awkwardly before taking a sip from his soda, "normal I guess?"

"This time you guys didn't sit together?"

"We don't always have to be stuck to the side of the other every hour of every day. I missed hanging out with you guys and he apparently missed hanging out with his friends. Nothing serious."

"You and Tweek always were," Clyde added with not much thought, Jimmy just smacked the back of his head with one of his crutches, "OW!"

"No we weren't, ngh!" Tweek spat defensive. Finally he spoke.

It's been awhile since Craig heard Tweek speak and honestly he could hear him for hours.

But in reality they did. They were very codependent with the other, not that it was toxic in a way but there were moments when he did feel suffocated by Tweek's panic attacks or him being too clingy. He no longer felt like he could asked for space cause that also made Tweek worry.

Craig knew well enough that Tweek knew that, it's not like he hasn't pointed it out before. So it doesn't faze him to see Tweek react that way, he's was always insecure about and tried working on it but he just made it worse by calling him at nights and asking him "was I being too much today?" So yeah, Clyde definitely hit a nerve right there.

And honestly he feels like he was about to hit a few more just to see his reaction.

"Eric isn't the type to stay too long in the same spot with the same person. You'd think someone as clingy like Eric would want to spend hours with you but he's always finding excuses to hang out with his friends or gets easily distracted with something else so I let this one slide because I felt bad."

"Sounds like he's avoiding spending time with you," Tweek spat dryly while poking at his tray.

Craig would smile widely because Tweek had spoken with him if it were that he has to remind himself that they were broken up and he was currently in a relationship with someone else.

"No. I just noticed that pattern with everyone he interacts with, it's like he's always trying to discover something new or get into some wacky adventure."

"You really must like him to notice that," Clyde added with interest, "first time we've heard you talk about a attribute of Cartman in that way."

Craig arched a brow confused, he actually thought he was playing pretty well the roll of boyfriend but maybe in speaking volumes he was never the best at. Even if this was fake.

In reality he just sucked in expressing himself.

"Yeah. This is all new to me y'know, it feels nice to have some freedom in a relationship for once."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Tweek scowled as he looked up at Craig.

Yeah, he definitely hit the nail on this one.

"Nothing."

Thursday morning was like a breeze, the only odd thing about it was that Cartman wasn't too interesting in displaying much of their "couple" act. He claimed he was feeling something was gonna happen tomorrow and that it would finally end this facade once and for all, so he felt there was no need to continue proving people they were a couple when they already seemed convinced anyways. Also he noticed he kept giving glances at Kyle when he held his hand or place a small kiss on his cheek and he didn't kiss him on the lips goodbye either like the previous times. This time he only planted a kiss on his forehead with a hop and left the scene quickly.

Finally friday morning, and now unlike the other two days he was starting to feel the weight of the whole situation. He was dying to know what Tweek had to say or if he was still planning to talk with him after what happened on Wednesday. Still, he was nervous.

He sat in his desk and place his hand on each side of his head looking down while trying to reassure himself everthing would be fine.

He looked up and was surprised to be greeted by Kyle who was holding on to his backpack strap.

"Just making sure, but after you and Tweek talk things out today you and Cartman are gonna end this whole dating thing right?"

"Yes...?"

"Even If it's not what you expect it to be. Like getting back together, you'll leave Cartman out of this?"

"Why should that matter?"

"Because it does. It's clear it wouldn't matter if you continue 'dating' Cartman so why drag him with you. If things with Tweek doesn't work out in the end then you should just learn to move on and let Tweek do the same. Even if it hurts."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because-"

"Kyle!" Cartman sprinted inside the classroom and grabbed the redhead's arm, glaringly, then looks at Craig, "seems you're getting ready for the big day huh."

Kyle glared back at Cartman but rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Aren't you supposed to be heading to your class, fatass."

"I was until I saw you talking with Craig and I don't want you running your mouth for everyone to hear."

"I wasn't planning to say shit," Kyle then yanked his arm away from him, "and let go of me!"

Kyle walked towards his desk and sat down.

"Whatever he told you it's a lie," Cartman spat out.

"He didn't tell me anything?"

"Are you prepared for what you're gonna say to Tweek ?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well duh? What are you planning to tell him if he asks you to take him back?"

"Yes?"

"That's it?"

"Yeah? What's wrong with that?"

"Dude, you're so dry! You need to make sure you're prepared for any question asked, what if he doesn't even want to talk about your relationship? What if it's something else? What then huh?"

Craig didn't consider that as a possibility, being that there's nothing left about them besides their previous relationship. So what if Cartman is right? What if Tweek isn't gonna speak with him over their breakup? What then... what would he speak to him about?

And thats all i have! This is literally the creek/kyman au i mentioned u guys previously i wanted to post it before it gets forgotten in my drafts, i would love for your opinions on this concept 😭

[ashartstuff]

i now have TWO tweek x craig shirts that i bought from hot topic.

that means ive gone to the store and spent roughly 50 bucks on goofy looking creek shirts.

that means ive gone to the store and looked two different hot topic employees in the eyes as i handed them my cash or card at checkout and they put mother fucking tweek and craig in that black bag.

that means two different hot topic employees have had to say “have a nice day” to the bitch buying the south park yaoi shirt.

and the worst part of it all? I regret nothing.

[corporatefrog]

꒦‧₊ ꒷ HEADCANNONS: team stan with a rich friend! ✧.*

✧.* tags: college au, ✧.* Characters: kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, stan marsh, butters scotch. eric cartman a/n: the request was for a friend like Cher Horowitz from clueless but i haven't seen clueless in forever so i kind of just wrote it like having a rich friend! team craig is on the way tomorrow !!

masterlist

Kenny

Youve got yourself a sugar baby right here

Lit rally so happy to carry your shopping bags for HOURS 

Just buy him some auntie anns and he’s good for the day

Whenever cartman makes fun of him for being poor, you pull out $100 and and just hand it to kenny 

“Guys let’s go to the $100 store! Oh wait, you can’t go eric :( sorry, i guess you’ll have to keep saving the tips from the job you don’t have”

kyle 

He’s your voice of reason

“No don’t spend $300 on that bag it’s fake leather” 

Don’t ask him how he’s suddenly versed in designer fabrics 

He helps you with your homework

You offer to pay him but he says it’s not necessary

Definitely doesn’t fight you on it though,,, 

Who's going to say no to $50 for helping someone with their math homework?

Stan

He doesn’t know how to act around rich people

Likes to get fast food with you and make you guess how much things are

“So we’re going to get 2 milkshakes and 2 large fries”

“Okay! I’ve got $40 in cash, is that enough?”

"...not exactly"

please don't take him to a fancy dinner

he will in fact freak out and find a way to fall out of his chair while dragging the table cloth with him

Cartman

He gives kenny shit but this little bitch with do ANYTHING for money

Fucker is your butler now

You could ask him to be your footstool during class and he’d be on the ground in a SECOND

“OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY KYLE! Your door, yn”

Butters 

Is baffled that you’re rich and you want to hang out with HIM??

You guys go shopping together! Stopping in plushie stores! 

Tbh he’s kind of like a little pet

But in the best way

He’s just having a good time because you’re having a good time 

And you have a good time because he’s such a good vibe

“And then we have to stop by spencers because they have a collab with my favorite band right now, then we’re going to the burberry store-”

“Well geez, yn, that’s one of those really expensive stores”

“Butters I literally own three islands off the coast of greenland. I could buy this mall if i wanted to.”

He is, again, baffled

[sunny-ssunset]

Pretty in pink!

Chapter 2

South park x a girly reader

divider by pinterest

Masterlist!

♡I suppose i'll make another since the other did soooo well it was hella fun to write tbh AGED UP

♡Sorry if its ooc or Y/n is a bit mean, I try to make my characters as realistic as possible and with that it means giving them bad qualities as well as good ones. If you have any feedback or like anything to add to the story please let me know

Welcome'd by the scent of freshly brewed coffee, Y/n walked to the till, Bebe clung to Y/n's arm as she asked for their orders, "Hiii tweak, could we get what we usually order?"

Tweak froze as soon as he heard Y/n speak, "GAH- YES." He dashed off to make drinks for the girls. Y/n giggled at Tweak's reaction, "Awwwh he's adorable"

"I'm sure he thinks your adorable too Y/n..." Wendy mumbled, not wanting Y/n to hear. "Wendy, You are so pretty I notice people fawning over you all the time! Besides You and Stan are fine arent you?" Y/n tried to comfort her, noticing the slight smile on Wendy's face, Its the thought that counts

"H-Here is your drink!" Tweek interupted, shaking as he handed Y/n and her friends' drinks over, blushing as Y/n's hand slightly brushed his, She smiled, handing the boy his cash.

They walked out of the coffee shop, giggling away and getting into Y/n's car, "Hey I heard Tweak likes Craig anyways." Bebe gossiped. "I thought that myth was busted when we saw Craig on a date with that New kid, What was their name again?" Said Y/n, putting the key into ignition.

"I'm not sure, They didnt have any memorable qualities" Wendy laughed as Y/n started driving to school, taking a sip of her drink. "Y/n Keep your eyes on the road" Bebe scolded taking her drink of her. "Hey i just bought you guys' drinks watch who yo- AH!" Y/n screeched swerving as she almost drove into another car. "Y/n this is the last time you are driving us" Wendy laughed awkwardly, trying to make light of the situation.

As the long nerve wrecking drive went on, and Y/n finally paying attention to the road, The girls FINALLY ended up at school. "That was soo long" Bebe cried, never sounding this relived in her entire life. "You are so dramatic" Y/n pouted rolling her eyes, "Girl you almost killed us" Wendy laughed at Y/n, Shifting her attention to her phone as she recieved a text from Stan.

Stan the man

We need to talk.

Cmon Wendy this is serious dont ignore me.

Wendy is typing...

Wendy knew what was coming, She always did its either a 'Its not you its me' or 'Its just the wrong time for me to be in a relationship right now' I mean yeah they'd get back together but relying on Stan's attention is the only source of self esteem she gets, its not like anyone else notices her with Y/n around...

"Wendy are you okay?" Y/n put an arm around Wendy's shoulder as she comforted the girl. "Yeah I think Stan wants to break up ag-"

"Hey hey hey pretty ladies!!!" Kenny interupted walking up to the girls not realising the context of the situation. "KENNY!!!" Y/n ran up to him, forgetting about Wendys problems to hug him.

"We'll talk later hun I promise" Y/n whispered, giving a comforting smile. How could Wendy hate her? She doesnt mean it, She didnt mean to ignore Wendy, She is too perfect to do that... Right?

divider by @k1ssyoursister

[meteooru]

im following your comic like a fucking HAWK dude. fake dating is one of my favorite tropes, but especially mlm in south park because of the extra layer of "we get cash for this, but now we're in competition with the ogs. tweek and craig."

its just ARGHGHGHGHG. also your artstyle is so fun and nice to look at. im sosososososososo invested already!

im really glad you enjoy it! fake dating is ALSO my favorite trope and the comic is mostly self indulgent lmao, good to know people like it too !!

[crimejewels]

The Last Moments Of Rachel Scott's on April 20 1999. (part 1)

7:00 A.M

Rachel was getting ready for school on a typical sunny Colorado morning, she and her brother were rushing to get to class. On their arrival at school they began to argue (due for being late) as Rachel listened to music from the car radio, Craig would start to switch the station to bother Rachel.

Saying mean things to each other, Craig slammed the door in Rachel's face. it was the last time he would ever have spoken to her.

7:15 A.M

Rachel has her last drama class with her teacher Sue Caruthers.

In this class she draws the thirteen tears and the rose.

"Im going to have a impact on the world". - Rachel

10:55 A.M (“A Lunch”)

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Clarifications Of Some Items

In this cctv image, there are 2 people who look very similar to Rachel and Richard. pstd: i thought it was them but it's not.

Richard stated that he had gone straight to the west entrance. He did not pass near the cafeteria. It seems that he waited for Rachel to arrive.

Rachel's hair was a short chin length bob at the time. Her hair color was red due to her participation on “smoke in the room”.

Rachel worn a silver wedding band. (From her grandmother. Rachel asked her mother to give her).

wearing a black jacket over the white shirt. light blue jeans. white sneakers.

A collage that shows at a minimum how close to rachel's appearance.

This receipt in name of rachel. where she allegedly bought milk. but i found an image of the crime scene where Rachel and Richard's meals are thrown away and already spoiled. i don't see anything related to milk at any point.

this is a controversial item, as it doesn't seem to fit the timeline, some say it was fabricated to establish rachel scott's presence, which alters the timeline. there is also a possibility that she never went to the cafeteria and that another student bought the small milk. the transaction was made with her student account, not with money. that meant that someone she trusted asked rachel to use her student account to buy a milk. but then how does that explain rachel never going to the cafeteria if she was eating with castaldo? that means that someone she trusted asked rachel to use her student account to buy a milk. but then how does that explain why rachel never went to the cafeteria if she was eating with castaldo? where did that food come from? why wouldn't she have time to get to the west entrance? how did columbine control the nutritional program expenses at that time? why was the cash register 10 minutes ahead of time?

I don't see any small milk, if the milk were there, the container would probably be punctured by a bullet and leaking milk.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

End.

Part 2 (x)

credits to their respective authors. The information is in the Columbine subreddits!