#crack but also accurate

[snowalwayslandsontop]

Coryo: "Sejanus, you have to come with me."

Sejanus: "Oh Coryo, I thought you'd never ask but I don't think this is really the time or place…. Still, if you're insisting….."

Coryo: "I meant you need to leave with me. What the hell are you talking about??" Sejanus: "Whatever you were talking about.....We should really go...." For @d2sejanus--plinth

[magicblooms]

"You are the naughty list." He teased with a soft laugh, shaking his head fondly. "Believe it or not, I don't enjoy spending all my holidays and free time alone." He muttered

"I'm at the top of the naughty list, dear Albus. But then perhaps you've always had a thing for bag boys?" Gellert teased him lightly before he sobered. "You shouldn't be spending any holidays or free time alone. You know you're always welcome in Nurmengard."

[snowalwayslandsontop]

Go out to a mining town, have a love affair with a cute boy you've had a crush on for years, accidentally get him killed and then be brought back home by your mentor. It worked for me.

how to disappear for a month with no repercussions

[siwy-3]

hjey did u know he was my fav since middle school. yeag . still figuring out how to draw him i havent done undertale adjacent fanart in 2 million years.

[yudidoodles]

So we're going to pretend that I just wanted to draw these guys in 80s-ish swimwear and biker outfits and this is NOT a crack au of SVSSS and fucking Teen Beach Movie because that would be actually insane of me definitely didn't come up with like a storyline and shit noooo that would be ridiculous

[snowalwayslandsontop]

// @lettersfrompanem & @segaynusplinth Saw your posts about how close Coriolanus and Sejanus are all the time in the film and had to share this with you both. ❤️

[snowalwayslandsontop]

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does it bother you that Sejanus dated someone else before you?

100! Wait, do you know that he dated someone before me? Who was it? Why would he do that? It's cheating! We've known each other since we were 8 years old! I didn't date anyone else before him! How could he do this to me?

[magicblooms]

"Is it a crime to come see my husband instead?" He chuckled. He tried to see him as often as possible when they hadn't left things off on bad terms

"No, it's certainly not a crime. Although being here with me, you might end up on Santas naughty list." Gellert chuckled softly.

[cottoncandysprite]

I think the funniest part about nandermo is that they're friends to lovers who are trying desperately to be enemies to lovers

[cilil]

Dior was definitely like teens using fake IDs to buy alcohol, except that his version of a fake ID was telling everyone he aged at human speed (therefore being an adult in his 20s and not as late as his 50s) and instead of alcohol he wanted sex (with local Elf maidens)

[generalluxun]

Chloe: So, my stupid therapist insisted that I write a play about my life to "Get my thoughts out there" or some nonsense.

Alya: Question, what does this have to do with us?

Chloe: Simple, I've assigned you all roles. Rose, as you're one of the only other blondes in this class, so you get Audrey by default.

Rose: But I don't want to be your mother.

Chloe: Oh good, you already know your first lines!

Pfft okay but that's priceless.

[ryomaandgundhamkin]

hehe

btw if you don’t get it you’re 1. dumb (no offense🧚✨✨) and 2. LOOK AT MY RING FINGER-

[snowalwayslandsontop]

He's my best friend but sure, I'd do it.

REBLOG TO HIT THIS MAN WITH A BRICK

[once-delight]

Lestat and Daniel fight fight fight!

Live dog walker reaction:

So my friend Jay @radiocurrency writes this fic where Vamp!Daniel and Lestat gets into a fight in a park near the Golden Gate bridge (Lestat is trying to help Daniel lure out Armand by making him jealous, but oops they try to outbitch each other instead and it ends in a fight where Daniel gets so angry he literally learns to fly just so he can punch Lestat.)

The story is so well written, and the characters are on point, yet I couldn’t help but imagine a poor dog walker pass the scene by and trying to pretend he didn’t just see the rockstar Lestat and Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Daniel Molloy (he’s cultured and reads The Times when not walking his dog) flying through the air, hissing and punching each other. Just another night in San Fransisco.

Full pic under the cut!

[astrobei]

the next time i start a fic and say the words “this will just be a little 5k something” please shoot me for my crimes (lying)

[snowalwayslandsontop]

Snow: "My name is Coriolanus Snow and I feel that I am being terribly misunderstood and misrepresented here. I brought very expensive scotch and a few dozen Peacekeepers with me."

mockingjay but instead of finnick just going out and spilling snows secrets the victors do the candy salad trauma dump

“My names finnick, and President snow started prostituting me at fourteen and threatened my whole family, he also poisoned people to become President, oh and I brought gummy sharks”

“my names Haymitch and when I won my games President snow killed my whole family because I accidentally killed the other tribute with a force field when fainting, I brought whiskey”