#covid jokes 3 years later

[pepprs]

being m*rried would fix me. goodbye

[softpascalito]

Traditions - Pedro Pascal Characters Headcanons

Summary: Which tradition do the Pedro boys enjoy? I have thoughts.

Relationships: Joel Miller x Reader, Javier Peña x F!Reader, Dieter Bravo x Reader, Din Djarin x Reader Tags/Warnings: Explicit Language, Non-Descriptive Smut, Headcanons

notes: excited to post the first of a few hcs to come this month! i hope you enjoy <3

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Joel Miller

Joel may not show it but he actually likes Christmas traditions. It can't be anything too big or fancy but there's a few small things he remembers about Christmas in his own childhood that he continues with Sarah and later with Ellie.

After the outbreak, he doesn't celebrate. Not just Christmas, he doesn't celebrate anything for years. By the time his first Christmas with Ellie rolls around, he is already badly injured. He doesn't even realize it's Christmas Eve.

The next year, with both of them living safely in Jackson, he makes up for it best he can, agreeing to join a Christmas dinner hosted by Tommy and Maria.

You've met before but this is one of the first occasions where you begin talking. It's only months later that you realize you may not have been seated next to each other by accident.

Tommy and Joel contribute to the night with a tradition from their childhood. After dinner, they bring out Luminarias, handmade Christmas lanterns that they've evidently prepared in secret. The other lights are dimmed and the entire house is bathed in soft, orange light.

He ends up on an armchair by the window with you perched on the armrest and you both sip your drinks in the dim light while the other guests slowly file out. Joel swears that it cements the lights as his favorite tradition.

Javier Peña

Christmas, for Javi, usually means a trip back home to meet the family. Born and raised in Texas, it's one of the most important parts of Christmas: Everyone being together, despite their differences.

Colombia and the cartel case are a welcome excuse to not take part in the family gatherings. Every time he does visit Laredo, which only totals to three times during his time in Bogotá, he can't stand the way people look at him.

When he goes back after Cali, he doesn't even make it through half of the gathering. There have been too many drinks emptied and too many questions asked and he is back in his truck before anyone can notice he's disappeared.

Four years later marks the first time he does show up for Christmas again, with you by his side and proudly showing off the noticeable bump under your sundress.

You think he's joking when he whispers to you that night, explaining that his new favorite Christmas tradition is keeping you stuffed and spending all of Christmas Eve next to the tree, hands caressing your stomach to feel for movement from his baby

He isn’t joking. Three years in a row, the timing aligns perfectly and like clockwork, a baby is born every spring. It's definitely not the worst tradition you can think of.

After a satisfying number of babies however, the tradition shifts back to its origin: Gatherings with the whole family. And you have quite the family to show off with three little ones and Javi by your side.

Dieter Bravo

Dieter loves having you over for Christmas at his house in the Hollywood Hills. It starts innocently enough, with Covid ruining plans for any other possible get-together.

He orders enough food to last for days, rolls a generous joint for you to share and puts on a Hallmark Christmas movie for giggles.

It ends up getting you both in the feels, despite ticking off every possible cliché. By the time the credits roll around, Dieter's body is pressed against yours, both of you sinking back into the fluffy couch pillows.

The next three days are an intangible mess made up of cheese, weed and sex. In no particular order.

For once, no agent calling disturbs the bubble the two of you have created for yourselves and when New Year's rolls around, you both vow to repeat the same kind of Christmas next year.

Din Djarin

Din doesn't really know or celebrate Christmas until you and Grogu come along. When you start decorating and making a few purchases, he grumbles slightly but lets you go through with it.

To your (and his) surprise, he doesn't hate the decorating. It's a nice change of pace to just sit for a while, make chains of popcorn and dried fruits and watch the child play with a few of the Christmas decorations while you consider the best spot for the tree.

Din does help with all that you can't reach and with securing everything so that your whole work won't be ruined the second the ship takes off.

It's dark outside when you are finally done, Grogu napping below the tree after wearing himself out. Din lifts you onto his shoulders almost effortlessly, allowing you to place the golden star on top of the tree while he watches.

You light the tree together afterwards, the twinkling lights reflecting in his beskar armor, multiplying the light by what seems to be a million and it makes your knees weak.

Every following year, a beautiful tree decorates your living quarters. You both pretend it's something you only do for Grogu. You both know it's not.

[chussyracing]

f1 news, rumours and interesting facts from the last few days

Alpine is parting ways with Director of Racing Expansion Projects Davide Brivio at the end of 2023 despite his contract running into 2024, there are rumours he will join Repsol Honda motogp team as a team boss

Aston Martin got approval for a new research and development facility in Silverstone

Either Andrea Stella is joking or smoking crack because he thinks in equal cars, the three best drivers on the grid would be Max, Lando and Fernando

Jannik Sinner scored a partnership with f1 to attend some races and promote the sport (and then visited Maranello)

Kubica is confirmed for ferrari's third hypercar and Shwartzman said he is interested in the seat as well - but he also tested indycar with Ganassi

Sainz says new ferrari 2024 car (or protect rather than a car at this point) behaves differently in the sim to the 2023 one

Aramco signed 5 year extension with am and they will be named aston martin aramco f1 team

Alfa Romeo is now Stake F1 Team Kick Sauber..... (and alpha tauri added the "RB" to their name which could be racing bulls but also red bull)

Merc is finally leaving the no side pod design to allow more event distribution and less drag

Charles won the overtake of the year with his move on Perez in Las Vegas!!!!

Fia changed rules about misconduct (and officially changed maximum fine to 1m euros, prohobited the use of flares on grandstands and shortened the right to review from 14 days to 96 hours aka 4 days)

Rbr did a pit stop in dark for some kind of dick measuring contest and got 2.84s which is just faster of ferrari's normal pit stops (if we have all 4 tyres ready)

Button to hypercar with Jota in 2024

Alpine finished the shares selling to us investors (the reynolds guy thingy)

Max went on about how absurd his fee is despite his team saying they will pay for him so... um 🤐

Fia hired more staff for in factory check ups to visit every 2/3 weeks but they wanna start visits with little to no notice where they call the factory and immediately visit in 10/15 mins

Rbr will start making a new wind tunnel in Milton Keynes that should be finished in (or was it by?) 2026

Ferrari confirmed the previously rumoured date of 2024 car presentation for 13th feb (Fred also said the car will be 95% different which supports Carlos saying the car concept is very different in sim and Fred saying they completely skipped two upgrades this year to focus more on 2024, among other stuff Fred also said both drivers will start on equal terms during the new season start)

Audi is rumoured to be keeping tabs on Lawson besides Ocon and Hulkenberg

there is a new ferrari challenge with matt gallagher from shell (someone remind me to watch it along the math challenge when I have time, also shout out to shell because I love the mini playing car from them i got) and the secret santa was posted (it is kinda boring this year ngl)

Also! The head fortuneteller Mika Hakkinen said yesterday that he thinks mclaren will take another step ahead in performance for 2024 and challenge red bull closer that merc or ferrari, but he also said that ferrari are finally on a correct path and Fred is the one team principal under which they will win a championship again "sooner or later"

While I knew f1 drivers are prohobited from doing dangerous stuff (unless you are Charles Leclerc and can make puppy eyes, then you can run half a marathon, wall climb, ice wall climb, scuba dive, ride and water scooter and what not), but I did not know red bull (and probably other drivers) have it specified in their contract they can't even drive a motorbike - which some of them wanted to do at Honda thanks day seeing Marc Marquez on his bike

Ben Sulayem is playing some weird game i do not like taking a dig at jean todt for leaving the fia operating with a loss (completely disregarding that's counting the covid years where motorsports events often couldn't even take place and lawsuit fees for the use of halo) and saying how under him the non profit organisation will get balanced sheet by 2025 (also said how fia must focus on safety and reputation which... hmm)

There are some rumours about the fia and its integrity and governing abilities (I just learned about how they fucked up wtcc and then wtcr after making the championship with close fights and easy rules where more teams could get in too exclusive opening chance for Citroën only to get ready for new rules so they dominated everything and adding huge spoilers which created dirty air and kept overtaking close to zero. Sounds scarily similar to f1 these days?)

[dancingtotuyo]

The Life We Built (Joel Miller)

Part 5 of Build You The World Joel X Reader Rating: PG-13 (Language) Warnings: fluff, that's it. Tags: no outbreak, fluff, craftsman!Joel, Time jump, it's 2023 folks, no mentions of COVID, you decide if it happened Notes: So we've reached the end of this little adventure that was only supposed to be a one shot, but never fear! I have another Joel Miller idea in the works. Check out my Masterlist for some Javier Peña works as well! Thank you everyone for your support! Words: 1998

Series Master List | Author Master list

Joel eased into the chair next to you under the pergola he built 25 years ago. It was still sturdy and spoke to Joel’s craftsmanship. The sun was beginning to set, granting some relief to the spring heat as you watched your three grown children clean up the backyard. They’d insisted the two of you relax. 

Emma graduated from Duke last weekend with honors in Pre-med. Which meant traveling to North Carolina for the ceremony. Joel has insisted on driving up. He hated flying. With a 20-hour car ride one way, you caught up on a lot of reading and almost booked yourself a plane ticket home. The two of you had been gone for almost a week. So her graduation party took place this weekend at home. She’d been accepted into UNC-Chapel Hill’s School of Medicine and would be going back to Durham in a couple of weeks. She was officially moving out, boxes already stacked high in her room. You and Joel both chose not to think about your baby leaving the nest for good.  

Emma laughed at something Asher said. You couldn’t see Sarah roll her eyes, but you knew by her body language. Joel chuckled next to you. He sensed it too, both in tune with your children. 

Asher graduated with a Bachelor's in Engineering from UT-Austin a few years ago, choosing to stay close to home. He had a small apartment in town working at Miller Construction since graduation. Joel joked that if he didn’t put his degree to use soon, he was gonna have to rebrand as Miller and Son. You had a sneaking suspicion that’s what Asher wanted. He and Joel shared the same love of building things with their hands. 

“Grandpa!” Sarah’s 3-year-old daughter, Jessie bounded across the yard, dark curls bouncing like springs behind her. You could see the brightly colored book in her grasp.

She panted heavily as she reached the two of you. Her small hands rested on Joel’s knees. She looked up through dark lashes. “Will you read this to me?”

Joel smiled. She reminded you so much of Sarah at her age. “Don’t you want grandma to do it? She’s a much better reader than me.”

“No, you!”

“Okay, Okay.” Joel chuckled, pulling the child onto his lap. You closed your eyes as you listened to Joel read. His drawl had only deepened with age but it still flowed like honey. It soothed your weary bones and often brought you through time, making you feel 25 again. 

Sarah had started college at the University of Georgia but transferred to UT-Austin after her freshman year. She loved Georgia, but she missed being close to her family more. She’d earned her Bachelor's in Journalism and Creative Writing (also with Honors). Working across all aspects of journalism, she went back to get her MFA several years later. She worked freelance for several publications and taught a creative writing class at the community college in town. She’d married Mike 6 years ago. They’d been together since senior year of college aside from a one-year gap. They’d bought a house just down the street from you and Joel soon after their wedding. Jessie’s 4th birthday was next week, and aside from her husband, you were the only other person to know that Sarah was 8 weeks pregnant. They were planning to reveal it next on Father’s Day.

You and Sarah were convinced Joel didn’t have a clue. The two of you were desperate to surprise him. Other than his 45th birthday party, you and Sarah hadn’t been able to surprise Joel in the 31 years you’d loved him. He’d even figured out Sarah’s first pregnancy before they’d told anyone. 

Joel continued to read. The world drifted further away only anchored by the sound of his voice. Sometimes a bird’s song drifted in and out. The warm breeze floated across your skin. Joel’s voice stayed constant. 

“Grandpa… Shhhhh, grandma is sleepin.”

Joel looked up from the book. He smiled. The wrinkles around his eyes were well-defined now. “I think she’s just restin her eyes, kiddo.”

“That’s what you say when you’re sleeping!” Jessie giggled. 

“Keep reading,” you said, keeping your eyes closed. “The story was just getting good.” 

He looked at Jessie who nodded her head, and he continued. 

The construction business had been good to Joel. Miller Construction kept its outstanding reputation throughout the years, something Joel worried about as the number of crews grew and his ability to check up on every job decreased. Joel spent most of his days on job sites in a supervisory capacity. He trained the new hires to meet his rigid standards, and his body took less wear and tear. He was able to spend more quiet morning moments with you. At 56 years old, he was still the best pitcher in the men’s rec softball league. He took every Thursday morning off to hang out with Jessie while Sarah taught her class at the Community College. He piddled in the garage on weekends, working on the next project. He’d just redone the kitchen cabinets. Tommy joked that Joel lived in partial retirement, but there was some truth to it. You liked seeing him take time 

Joel finished the book as Sarah and Mike walked over. You slowly opened your eyes, letting the world envelope you once again. 

“It’s time for us to go home, Bear,” Mike said. 

Before Jessie could issue a complaint, Joel pulled her into a back-breaking squeeze. She laughed. He tickled her sides. “Grandpa!” 

“I gotta make sure you meet your tickle quota.” 

“I have! I have!” Jessie laughed, her cheeks turning red. 

“Okay,” Joel let out a deep breath. “I think that’s enough for today.” 

Jessie wrapped her arms around Joel’s neck, kissing his cheek. “Love you, Grandpa!”

“I love you too.” He kissed her cheek, patting her back. “I’ll see you on Thursday.”

Jessie slid off his lap, rushing to you. A chorus of goodbyes between parties rose in the corner of your backyard in hugs and handshakes. Jessie nestled into her father’s arms, eyes already beginning to droop. 

Joel wrapped his arms around you. You leaned into him. His hands traveled down your back, lips finding yours. You grinned feeling warm and giddy. Even after all these years, he still had the same effect on you. 

Gagging noises interrupted your moment. Asher and Emma stood on the porch directing said sounds at you. 

“Get a room!”

“We don’t want to see that!”

Joel flipped them off before firmly grabbing your ass making a show of the steamy kiss he planted on you. You laughed. He kissed your neck softly. 

“You’re gonna traumatize the kids.”

“They’re grown adults. They can leave.” He nuzzled into your neck. “I want to kiss my wife in our backyard.”  

“Y’all are gross.” Asher chided. 

“If it weren’t for us, you two wouldn’t be here,” Joel shouted back. 

“You say that like it’s a good thing!” Emma responded. “Have you seen the world?”

“Hey,” You laughed. “You’re the saving grace of this family, Miss I’m going to be a doctor.” 

Asher scowled. “Don’t say that. Her head will get bigger than it already is.” He ruffled Emma’s hair. 

Emma rolled her eyes. “We’re done cleaning up. We’ll leave you two to do… that.” She motioned toward you and Joel. “Asher’s gonna take me out on the town.”

“Make smart decisions,” Joel called.

“Always!” Emma smiled. 

The duo filed out of the backyard leaving you and Joel alone. Joel kissed your forehead as you swayed to a nonexistent tune. 

When you finally stopped, you and Joel sought the respite of AC inside. Joel prepared a plate of leftovers for the two of you to share on the couch. You read as Joel watched the Baseball game on low volume. You propped your feet on his lap. His thumbs found the soles of your feet applying pressure. You hummed. 

You had stepped down from your position at Miller Construction after Emma started high school. As much as you loved working with Joel and helping him build and expand the business, desires drew you elsewhere. You started working part-time at the public library. When their head librarian announced plans to retire, the city had offered to pay for you to get your Masters in Library Science providing you could give them a 10-year commitment. Daunting at first, you’d managed to complete the courses in 2 years via an online program. You work at the library full-time now. Joel often brought Jessie in on Thursday mornings along with a coffee for you. You tended to the garden on weekends. Joel replaced your raised beds a few years ago. You had the kids over for dinner once a week. You and Sarah walked the block on pleasant evenings. You spent lazy evenings on the couch with Joel, something that had rarely been a part of your marriage until the past few years. 

“I’ve been thinking…”

You looked up from your book. “Uh oh, that’s never good.”

He tickled the bottom of your foot earning a squeal. Everyone talked about growing out of being ticklish. That had never happened to you. “I think it’s probably time to refinish the book nook.”

You glanced behind you, eyes trailing over the bookshelves Joel had built you more than 25 years ago. They’d been through it. The finish was peeling in a few places. The cabinet doors that lined the bottom were dented and scratched from a number of things bumping and running into it while raising 3 kids. You glanced at the farthest one, still stained with faint marks from Emma taking Sharpies to it when she was 3. Residue from stickers marked other areas. 

“Sounds like a big project.”

“I’ve got the time.” Joel smiled. 

He reached down beside him, revealing a gift bag. A simple brown paper bag with a gold ribbon neatly tied and curled. Sarah’s trademark. He handed it to you with a smile.

“This from you or Sarah?”

“Me.” Joel crinkled his nose. “Just asked Sarah to wrap it for you.”

You lifted the bag up and down. It felt like it was probably a book. It rarely wasn’t. “And what is this for?” You smiled at him.

“Just fulfilling my husbandly duties.”

You laughed as you untied the ribbon. Joel had taken your first line to him like an oath over the course of your relationship. He’d surprised you with a new book at random times. Sometimes you came home to one on the kitchen counter or your nightstand. Other times, wrapped or handed to you, each with an inscription detailing something he loved about you and how “Pretty” didn’t cut it. 

You smiled at him, pulling a hardcover book out of the bag. You opened the front cover. A piece of paper slipped out. Before you could investigate, Joel’s handwriting caught your attention. 

I don’t know if you’ve been counting, darling, but this is the 100th book I’ve given you. When I met you in that bar, I knew if I had the chance to give you just one, I’d be the luckiest man alive. 

We always talked about going on a big trip for our 25th wedding anniversary. I know it’s a little bit late, but I booked us on that trip to Italy you were eying last year. 

I’m sure it’ll be beautiful, but I still think the best view is you. 

I love you, Darling. 

You picked up the slip of paper: the booking confirmation set for mid-September. You looked up at Joel, tears blurring your vision. 

He chuckled. “Surprise.”

You set the book carefully on the end table, moving onto Joel’s lap. “You hate flying.”

“But I love new places.” He kissed your nose. He still looked at you like you hung the galaxy. You imagined you looked at him the same. “And you.”  

You kissed him, the words whispered for just the two of you. “I love you too.”

[she-karev]

Meeting Luna (Jolex Sweet Imagine)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of One

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Alex Karev x Jo Wilson/Jo Karev

Canon Episode: Season 17 Episode 3

Summary: Alex and Jo help a patient deliver a baby that formed in her liver. Later Amber Karev gets news that devastates her and her loved ones.

Words: 3554

April 12th, 2020

Jo comes out of the hospital exhausted and rubbing her strained neck. It’s been four days since Meredith Grey was found passed out in the parking lot by Alex. He brought her inside the hospital where she was tested positive for covid. Since then, he has been checking in on her as her medical proxy, making sure she’s stable while Jo has been covering Meredith’s service. So far Jo hasn’t been outside in four days and the stress of the new job is getting to her.

“Hey.” Jo looks up to find her sister-in-law, Amber Karev, and best friend, Link, approach her in their casual clothes, “I’d ask how you’re doing but I think your appearance is answer enough.”

“Despite what you may read or hear in the news, sunlight does not in fact kill Covid 19.” Link says when he sees Jo has her mask off to take a breath.

“Ha. I've been covering Meredith's service. I haven't been outside in four days.” Amber hisses at that feeling bad for her, “What are you doing here?”

“Hand trauma.” Link explains.

“You left Amelia alone with four kids for a hand?”

Amber oohs at that, “You are so gonna be in the doghouse tonight.”

“She told me to come in.” Link explains.

“Oh. You're already annoying her.” Jo teases causing Amber to grin, “What's on your shirt?”

Link sees a sticky spot on his shirt, “Ooh, that's, uh, syrup? I made pancakes this morning.”

“Weird. You're a dad.” Jo jokes.

“Missed you!” Link sings before going inside leaving the sisters-in-law to catch up.

“How’s it going on your front?” Jo asks Amber, “I’m sure it’s not as painful as mine.”

“Normally I would disagree, but I know me complaining about my life right now is just gonna piss you off.” Amber says before changing the subject, “Any luck getting DCFS to do a home inspection?”

Jo frowns at that reminder. She and Alex bought a suitable two story 4-bedroom house back in February so they can raise a family there. They started the adoption paperwork, and the agency was gonna send a social worker to do a home inspection and interview them face to face.

But then March 13th happened, and social services has limited home visits in favor of public safety. The news broke Jo’s heart who was getting happier every time she and Alex were one step closer to having a baby of their own. So far, she has been trying to get past the pain with virtual therapy and work.

Jo sighs, “No they said other matters take precedence which as a woman who wants to adopt an abandoned baby pisses me off but as a doctor working in this terrible time I get it. I just wish I finally decided to have kids one month or hell even one day earlier. Maybe it might have made a difference.”

“I’m really sorry.” Amber says sad as well, “I know it doesn’t compare but my life hasn’t gone the way I envisioned it would five months ago either.”

Jo nods understanding, “Yeah if you had told me a year ago a pandemic would hit and instead of shopping for a car seat and looking toward the future, I would pray for toilet paper and hand sanitizer I would think you were crazy.”

“I would think I was crazy too.” Amber says bitterly, “I really am sorry I know how much you and Alex want a baby.”

“Thanks. We’re fine, we have each other, and we’ll just wait until social services finally does a visit and approves us. And to practice we have Schmitt living with us.”

Amber laughs, “I still can’t believe your letting him live with you. And I can’t believe Alex agreed to it, were you guys running low on rent or reasons for pity?”

“Okay he was sad and lonely, and he didn’t have a place to live I felt bad. It’s how Jackson felt with you after DeLuca broke up with you so…”

“…Touche my friend, touche. I gotta go, we’ll complain together later.”

“I’m holding you on that.” Amber walks past Jo and enters the pit when Levi Schmitt comes out and approaches Jo from behind.

“Abdominal pain consult in the ER.” Jo groans at that before snapping her fingers at Levi.

“I have faith in you.

“Covid test is still pending.” Levi informs Jo who slumps in defeat.

“I feel like I could just lay down and die.”

“Ah.” Levi imitates spitting to Jo’s confusion, “You really shouldn't say that during a pandemic.”

Levi goes back inside with Jo sulking for a minute before she puts her mask on and goes to her patient inside. Jo puts her protective shield on before going inside the trauma room where a blonde woman wearing a mask, face shield and gloves is sitting on the table clutching her stomach in pain.

“Val Ashton?” Jo starts, “Hi. I'm Dr. Karev. Okay, so you've had abdominal pain and vomiting for the last two weeks?”

“But it's not Covid.” Val insists, “I have gone nowhere, seen no one, touched nothing. I couldn't stop talking to the nurse that took my blood. It was the first in-person conversation I had had in months. I told her about the fight with my co-worker, all about my ex. And I think I invited her to lunch.”

Jo chuckles, “Don't worry. They're used to it.” Jo goes over Val’s chart in her tablet, “Okay, so your labs came back already, and…congratulations. You don't have Covid. You're just pregnant.”

Val looks at Jo in shock and utters a single word, “What?”

“Pregnant.” Jo repeats.

“What?”

“Yaay?” Jo says in the form of a question leaving Val to look at her in utter shock at this news.

An Hour Later

After the ultrasound from Carina confirmed there was no fetus in the uterus Jo ordered an abdominal scan for Val to find the underlying issue for her stomach pains. She asked Amber to assist her because she knows with Webber restricting residents from treating covid patients her resident sister-in-law is bored from doing scut and mandating patient entry.

“Thanks for letting me in on this I really needed it especially since Webber decided to punish Koracick by making him residency program director which also punishes us.”

“Yeah of course I figured it was either let you work close with me or risk getting Koracick punched in the face and you losing your job.”

“You make it sound like those are bad things.”

Bailey comes inside the monitor room, “Karev, I need you to keep covering Grey's service. I'm hoping to persuade Dr. Webber to come back to the OR, whenever he finishes adjusting his crown. Chief of chiefs. I could be chief of chiefs.”

“You'd be really good at that.” Amber says.

“What do you got?” Bailey asks

“Abdominal pain, vomiting, positive beta HCG. She's not pregnant, but I want to rule out a mass.” The scans pull up.

“Okay I see a mass it’s in the liver.”

Bailey looks at the scans astonishes, “That is no mass. That is a fetus.”

“She is pregnant, but her baby is attached to her liver?” Jo gasps at this in wonder while Amber chuckles in delight until Bailey steps in.

“Mine.”

“Hell no.” Amber retorts facing her boss, “This patient doesn’t have covid and I need something to lift up my spirits.” Bailey stares down at the resident who stares back with equal intimidation, “I’ve faced scarier things chief the only way you’re getting me out is tossing me across the floor.”

“Do you want to see that happen?” Bailey asks threateningly which doesn’t faze Amber as they continue to stare down with Jo looking on in worry.

“Okay as primary I will call the shots. Amber, I love you, but Bailey is my boss so get out.” Amber scoffs and turns to Jo who speaks before she can, “Go.”

“Fine.” Amber growls and stands up stomping out of the room with Bailey taking her place in joy as they look at the scans of the baby inside Val’s liver.

Later

Jo sees Alex in the middle of the empty peds floor and approaches him with a tablet in her hand.

“Hey are you busy?”

“Well, my best friend is being monitored by her sister and my sister’s ex-boyfriend so that leaves me time to sort out my empty floor where every surgery has been rescheduled for the next three months. I’m free for whatever you have as long as it’s not mundane.”

Jo chuckles, “Oh then you are gonna love this.” She hands him the tablet and shows Alex Val’s scans, “Val Ashton 35, came in with abdominal pain and vomiting, labs showed that she was pregnant but there was nothing in the ultrasound so we ran scans to see what the issue was.”

Alex looks at the scans, “Tumor in her liver that released HCG? I’m lost on why you came to me with this.”

“Because that mass in her liver is a fetus.” Jo explains and grins at Alex looking at her with wide eyes, “Yep you heard me my patient has an abdominal pregnancy.”

“I can see why you came to me.” Alex says with a grin relieved to have a case, “Is the fetus viable?”

“Carina DeLuca is about to do an ultrasound and we’ll get answers. If the baby is viable, we need to get them out so the growing placenta doesn’t rupture Val’s liver. We want you there so you can explain the risks the baby will face if she decides to keep it.”

“Okay yeah I can do that lead the way.” Jo leads Alex away from the peds floor to Val’s room.

Later

“There's a baby in my liver?” Val asks Jo with Alex next to her while Carina does an ultrasound on Val’s side where her liver is hearing a heartbeat.

“You have what's called an abdominal pregnancy, where the fetus develops outside of the uterus. You're about 26 weeks.”

“And so far, the heartbeat is strong which indicates viability.”

“That’s right and it’s very good in cases like this.” Carina says as she wipes away the gel, “Val, these pregnancies don't normally survive to term, but your baby is very much alive. Your case is extremely rare.”

“He made me feel like crap for eight years.” Val explains, “Every time IVF didn't work…he would look at the doctor and say, ‘Well, what can she do differently next time?’ When clearly it was his fault. Because I had a one-night stand with a guy that wears square computer glasses, and I'm knocked up.”

Alex nods understanding her pain from having his dream of having a baby with Jo stalled by covid.

“Val.” Carina sits by Val’s side and asks her cautiously, “Do you want this baby?”

Val inhales with tears in her eyes before nodding.

“Okay. Then we need to deliver her today.” Jo explains, “The growth of the placenta could cause the liver to bleed at any moment, and we need to operate to save you both, now.”

“It's a girl?” Val asks with a smile behind her mask.

Alex grins and nods, “Yes, it is.”

“Luna.” Val says rubbing her own belly, “That's her name. Ever since I was a little girl, I knew my daughter's name. I want to call her Little Moon, like the book, my mom would read it to me all the time.”

“Val.” Carina says and Val looks up nodding.

“Yeah, okay. Let's get her out!” Val gives consent in joy and the doctors look at each other knowing it’s not gonna be an easy surgery.

Two Hours Later

Jo and Bailey expose the liver revealing the baby inside as the scans show waiting for Alex and Carina to gown up so they can take the baby.

“Is she viable?” Alex asks as he spins while the nurse gowns him.

“Come see for yourself. Liver's exposed.” Bailey says causing Alex and Carina to observe the liver where they see the amniotic sac attached to the liver to their wonder.

“Wow.” Carina says in shock.

“Hello there, Little Moon.” Alex greets the baby before Bailey and Jo go over the steps of the procedure. Alex and Carina start the c-section and take out the small baby immediately, putting her inside the incubator while Bailey and Jo try to save the liver.

“Alex, I'm not seeing any movement.”

“Damn it.” Alex curses, “We need to intubate.” Alex and Carina try to intubate Luna while Jo and Bailey try to stop the heavy bleeding.

“How's Luna?” Jo asks.

Carina responds while helping Alex, “Apgar 2, maybe 3.” “We’re still trying to get the tube in.” Alex tries to intubate Luna, “Come on Luna you got this come on.” He successfully intubates her, “I’m in, bag her and get her up to the unit now let’s go!” Alex and Carina hurriedly take the incubator out of the OR while Jo and Bailey work hard to save Val’s life.

That Night

Jo is in the NICU looking down at her and Alex’s patient, Luna, who is hooked up to leads and wires in an incubator. The sight of the tiny premie breaks Jo’s heart but knowing the baby’s story gives her hope in a hopeless time.

“Hi, Luna.” Jo coos at the baby as she holds her tiny hand, “Hi. Your mommy is asleep right now, but she is gonna be so excited to meet you.”

Bailey approaches them with a grin, “See? Joy.”

Jo chuckles lightly, “She developed in a liver and was born in a pandemic. She is a survivor.”

“Your work these last few days hasn't gone unnoticed.” Bailey compliments, “Thank you.”

Jo nods and grows solemn at the reminder knowing why she’s so busy, “Meredith has to be okay, Bailey. She has to be okay.” The woman stand there looking at the baby hoping their good friend will make it through this virus.

Later

“We’re gonna need to keep you for observation for the next month.” Alex informs Val who is bleary from her surgery, “Dr. Karev and Dr. Bailey did their best to resect your liver without doing too much damage but we need to be safe and keep a close eye on you. Now we’ll do daily scans on your abdomen to make sure your liver isn’t failing. Worst case scenario we put you on the transplant list and wait for a match to fall through. And until then we would put you on dialysis to buy you some more time.”

“And what about Luna?” Val asks worried, “Is she gonna be okay?”

“She needs to be constantly monitored in the NICU while her lungs continue to form. Now she’s 26 weeks so we would have her incubated for the next 19 weeks till she reaches full term.”

“Can I hold her? Or visit her?”

Alex sighs, “I want to say yes but her immune system is still compromised and you’re still fresh out of surgery moving one of you could raise complications. We would need to wait until you’re discharged so you can visit her. Now I can set up a camera so you can watch her and talk to her while you’re both recovering. I’m sorry but it’s the best I can do right now.”

Val sighs in sadness, “…This is not how I imagined having a baby after all this time but I wouldn’t change it if it meant finally having Luna.”

Alex nods understanding, “If it makes you feel better my plans for having a baby have been recently stalled too.”

“Fertility issues?”

“Not exactly.” Alex sits in a chair next to Val, “My wife, Dr. Karev, told me she was finally ready to start a family and I was excited to be a dad. We were gonna adopt instead of getting pregnant because we were both kids in the system and we know it can be a brutal upbringing. We bought a house, we bought furniture to make it look picture perfect for social services, we were finally ready to start a family…but then March happened, and all our efforts went out the window. We’re now waiting as patiently as we can to get a social worker to visit and approve us and every minute that passes feels-”

“Like an eternity?” Val finishes understanding, “It’s how I felt before, during and after IVF. It felt like I was never gonna have a baby, like it was my fault somehow and to find out it wasn’t my fault at all makes me angry…but you telling me my baby is finally out. It makes all that anger disappear and I feel joy. God, I feel so much joy.”

Alex grins at that, “I could use some of that joy right now, can you share?”

“No.” Val’s blunt answer makes Alex chuckle. She frowns as a horrible scenario comes into her head that makes her look at Alex square in the face, “I need you to promise me something. Promise me that if I die, you’ll make sure Luna walks out of this hospital if I can’t.”

“Val…I can’t make promises.” Alex sadly tells her.

“I know but I need you to promise you will do everything you can to make sure Luna is okay. You will try any procedure, you will get her into a trial, you will do anything to make sure one of us makes it out of this alive. I need you to promise that you will take care of my Little Moon if I can’t, from one desperate parent to another please promise me.”

Alex looks at Val in awe before holding her hand and looking into her eyes with conviction, “I promise.” Val sniffles and looks at Alex gratefully as he holds her hand with the both of them feeling hopeful.

Epilogue

Amber is alone in the resident’s lounge putting her casual clothes on feeling drained once again after another long day. What was supposed to be her first surgery in weeks turned She has been in charge of the line outside which got her into little arguments with people who refuse to fully wear their masks and keep a six feet distance.

It got to the point where one of them spit on her and she spent ten minutes furiously scrubbing her face with rubbing alcohol afraid of the germs and angry at the ass who demeaned her. Now all Amber wants to do is go to Jackson’s penthouse, drink his expensive alcohol and watch bad reality tv. A knock on the door calls her and she turns to find her roommate Jackson Avery standing outside the door in his casual wear and black mask looking at her in worry.

“I heard what happened. Did the guy really spit in your face when you told him to stop acting like an idiot and put his mask on and keep a safe distance?”

Amber groans putting her black mask on, “Yep, I did the silkwood shower on my face right after I think I peeled off a layer of my own skin. I don’t want to talk about it I just want to go home, watch The Bachelorette and wonder where my life is going after today.”

“I’ll join you; I got a feeling Hannah is gonna eliminate Peter.”

Amber scoffs at that, “Please you wish, Peter is going all the way, Mike is next mark my words.”

Jackson’s eyes widen offended, “Oh we’ll see about that Mike is her dream man, loser does the laundry?”

Amber chuckles at her friend, “You’re on, make sure to fold my delicates I like them neat and organized.”

“Same. Let’s go.” Amber slings her backpack on and is about to walk towards him when Owen Hunt comes in with a numb face wearing his scrubs and mask.

“Good I caught you both before you left.”

“What’s wrong?” Jackson asks concerned.

Owen looks solemn but faces Amber with regret getting straight to the point, “Amber your test came back just now, your positive for covid 19, I’m sorry.”

Jackson and Amber are stunned by this with him standing by the doorway looking at Amber worried she’ll faint like Meredith. Amber is standing by her cubby with her backpack on looking frozen with shock before she chuckles uneasily.

“Is this a joke? I’m not symptomatic, I feel fine. Did Koracick or Alex put you up to this because it is the worst punking in the history of ever.”

“No this isn’t a joke.” Owen says with a serious tone, “The test is right here you can look at it if you want.”

Owen puts the tablet on the table six feet away from Amber who takes it and looks at her results with a small gasp. She looks up at Jackson who looks down in worry but pulls out his phone.

“I’ll book you a hotel room to quarantine and tell your family.” He puts the phone to his ear, “And April we should get tests too.”  

Amber swallows the lump in her throat before sitting on the bench while Jackson makes calls. At this moment she feels a fear in her chest she’s never experienced before as a doctor and as of now a patient.

[joviepog]

The Longer I’m Gone

Where you and Wilbur meet at a Cafe and you guys become good friends. But Wilbur goes in tour without you even knowing he has a band. Later your friends invite you to a Lovejoy concert and you see Wil and he sees you.

—/—/—/—/—

Warnings: Nothing (maybe a little cringe again idk? 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Pronouns: Usage of She/They

Word Count: 2,647 words

Tag list: @fruityfrog505

Anything else: I was literally on an airplane at 3:00 AM and i couldn’t sleep the whole flight. So what i did was write this crap. I apologize in advance 😭.

You sat at your table quietly, typing away to your homework. Every once and a while you would tale a sip of your drink, a soft sigh escaping your lips every time you would finish a sip. The café was silent besides the occasional order. Your AirPods where in your ears playing your favorite music. Every once and a while you would double check to make sure that your AirPods weren’t loud enough for other people to hear. It was a rainy day and the clouds made it seem like the day would never end. The pitter patter in the windows calmed you. Your jacket was hanging on your chair and so did your backpack. The turtle neck kept your neck warm and your beanie did the same for your head. This moment felt absolutely perfect, you were just waiting for one thing.

Any time the little bell on the top of the doorway your head would shoot up. But almost every time, it was just another basic customer. Sometimes, you would make eye contact and awkwardly smile, which only made you feel worse about yourself. After some time of waiting, you finally decided that there’s no point in waiting. You looked back at your laptop and started typing again. You sigh and wished you didn’t waste the money on another coffee when he wasn’t even going to come.

Suddenly the door bell rang again. You looked up to see the tall man with goofy brown hair that you had been waiting for. He opened the door quickly then looked around, once he saw you he smiled before jumbling over a bunch of tables. He would bump into one, then another, then he would bump into another person; apologizing all the way. His eyebrows were scrunched up and he had a worried look on his face. But once he got to you? He stopped for a moment composing himself before walk to you calmly. He sat down in front of you and gave you a soft smile, taking off his jacket and putting it around his chair as well.

“Sorry i’m late I was busy…” he paused, lost in thought for a moment as you gave him a considering look. He shook his head suddenly as if to get a thought out if his head.“…busy packing.”

You tilt your head at him and smirk with one eyebrow up. Your nose was scrunched and you had a concerned look on your face. “You? Packing? Your joking right? You never travel anywhere!”

He gives you a soft smile, “I know. But its going to happen often now.” He sighs. You look dumbfounded. Not that you where ever going to admit it you loved Wilbur’s company. He made you feel like someone did appreciate you in life. He made you feel loved. He was the reason you kept going. If he leaves, what is there to look forward to?

He smiled at you softly before a wide grin grew on his face.

“So, did you get me my coffee?”he grabbed the cup of coffee in front of you and closed his eyes to smell it, making sure it was his. He was trying to change the topic.

“Wilbur. Why are you packing? Where are you going? Is it only going to be a couple days? Wilbur why didn’t you tell me beforehand?!?” You were bursting out millions of questions.

You see, you and Wilbur first met about 6 years ago. Right before covid started. You had been coming to this Café for a while. And you noticed that someone would also come here at the exact same time and the exact same days as you. At first you thought he was stalking you or something but really he just came at the same time as you. Its not like you didn’t take notice to him as well. Soon you found out his name -William- and you found out his favorite drink. He liked a Caramel Macchiato every time with extra Caramel. You also took into consideration onto how he looks. He has Brown Fluffy hair that covered your face sometimes if you didn’t get a haircut. And when he did get a haircut, he would look like a whole new person. Any time this occurred you laughed a bit. He would walk in looking like a new person all proud, but once you looked at him you chuckled. Sometimes he would look at you and laugh at well. His eyes were a nice brown that looked like honey in the sun. He usually wore comfy close but sometimes he would dress up. When that happened you assumed he had a date or some important meeting. Finally you noticed his smile. The ways his ear would go up a tad but when he did, the way his nose would scrunch up, or how his eyelids would come up to his eyes to make it seem like he was squinting a bit; you noticed everything. Of course you would never admit to that. In fact, most of the time you would just smile at him.

At first you two would only smile at each other. Then you two started making small talk. And finally you two ended up meeting up every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.

Your friends started to tease you about the relationship. Saying that you two were “meant to be”. Back then you didn’t know how to respond. Wilbur and you? Meant to be? Ha! No way! But now? Now that’s all you think about at night. The fact that maybe, just maybe, your little Café crush could be the one. And the fact that he’s going to be leaving, even if its just for a few days makes your anxiety rise.

“Darling.” The nick-name made you shiver but you brushed it off, even though your face was still showing a red hue which obviously made Wilbur proud. “I’ll be fine. I’m going on t-“ he paused, looking at you with sad eyes. “I’m going on a family trip.” He sighed. Your eyebrows were scrunched and you were inspecting him closely.

“I don’t believe you Soot.”

*Wilbur POV*

I was late. Really really late. Usually i’m there right on time. But this time I couldn’t do anything about it! I had to pack for my tour wether I liked it or not. ‘I could blame it on the rain and traffic? But she already knows that I live close by. Darn it why do I tell her everything?’I thought. “Its fine! I’ll just tell her the truth. I’m packing.’ I said to myself as I ran up to the café. I quickly opened the door and paused. ‘Where was she? Oh! There she is!’ I smile at her and quickly go to her. She smiling at me. I know that I smile all too well. But as i’ve stared I started stumbling onto tables, sometimes I would bump into people! I blushed a bit at the fact that I had been staring. I jumble out a couple of sorry’s before finally getting to the table that she was in. As I approached her I started to walk more calmly. As I sat down I gave her a soft smile and scan her outfit. She had a black turtleneck with a tan trench coat hanging on her chair. She had some Black Doc Martins and a black skirt. Accompanied with some black tights and a beanie.

I stared at her fir a second more before starting, “Sorry i’m late I was busy…” I paused and thought about telling her. I’m tired of lying to her. “… busy packing.” I continued.

When I looked at her she was confused. Her nose was all scrunched up and her head was tilted and yet there was a playful smirk on her face. “You? Packing? Your joking right? You never travel anywhere!” She said shocked. She seemed mad. I felt like a little kid getting scolded by my parents.”I know. But its going to be happening often now.” I sigh. I was looking down at the table, avoiding any eye contact. I was going to miss her. I really was. But its official. I’m going on tour.

As I look back at her she seems as if she had seen a ghost. Her face was white and her eyes were wide.

“So, did you get me my coffee?”I grabbed the cup of coffee in front of her and closed my eyes. I smiled a bit smelling the coffee that I knew all too well. It was my way to make sure that yes, she still knew what my favorite drink was. I was trying to change the topic as much as possible but she still persisted, “Wilbur. Why are you packing? Where are you going? Is it only going to be a couple days? Wilbur why didn’t you tell me beforehand?!?” She spurted out. Looking absolutely confused.

It was the same look she gave me when I first say with her. It was a bold move but I managed. Here’s what happened…

I sat down in front of her, smiling a bit as I sat. I didn’t even look at her, I pulled out my phone and started scrolling through twitter. I held in my laugh, already knowing the confused look on her face. The one she makes when she is thinking about what to order. I smile softly to myself as I imagine her face.

“I-“ she paused as I continued to look at my phone, I looked up for a second, looking around to see if it was a prank which made me smile. “Can I help you Wilbur?”

I looked up with an eyebrow raised, teasing her as I spoke in a playful tone, “You know my name?” A red hue hit her face as I spoke. “I- I uhh???” She stumbled over her words. She huffed, muttering curses to herself. My leaned on my hand, looking at her with watchful eyes. Her actions made me smirk.

“Its okay…” I paused, smirking at her. “YN.”

She looked up at me, her yes widened. She laughed a hit, her smile lighting up the room. “Okay, okay,” she choked out, wiping away tears from all the laughter. “Lets start over. My name is YN! And you?” She said, a playful tone attached.

“Wilbur.” I said, taking out my hand for her to shake. She stared at it for a moment plainly before finally shaking it. “Nice to meet you!” She chirped out. I smiled.

“Sorry for the sudden interruption.” I started, finally explaining my actions, “It just seemed like it was finally time that we properly met.” I chuckled a bit. “But I thought I would tease you a bit to see your reaction.” She smiled widely and laughed. Her laughter filler the room and I remember a fuzzy feeling. Like I had found the one for me.

——

She continued asking questions. One after the other came along not even letting me speak. I sighed and softly spoke, “Darling.” I said before even thinking, “I’ll be fine! I’m going on t-“ I paused, “I’m going on a family trip.” I said slowly.

——

You see, Wilbur would never admit it, but he really liked YN. Like, a lot. He didn’t want to loose her. And he thought, that if she knew about the babd, she would think it was weird and stop talking to him. Or that she would become some obsessive fan and he would have to stop talking to her. He was scraed. He really truly was.

——

“I don’t believe you soot.”

I looked at her absolutely flabbergasted. “w-what?”

“I don’t believe you.” She scoffed. “Wilbur you’ e been acting differently and your not owning up to whats going on. You act like I don’t know you.” She paused, looking into my eyes, “Wilbur tell me what’s going on. Please.” She said softly, a pleading look in her eye.

“I-“ I looked at her, “I can’t.”

She stared at me for a moment before sighing, “I’ll see you later.”

My eyes widened as I saw her garb her things. She put the jacked over her and grabbed her backpack.

“What?! Where are you going?” I turned around in my seat as she walked away, “YN please I-“ she walked out, the door closing behind her. I was left alone. The workers looked at me and so fid the couple across the café. I sighed, deciding that I should head out too. I picked up my stuff and and oaused fir a moment. I looked at the coffee. Her name written in cursive by a worker. “I’ll see you in two months YN…”

“Ugh why can’t you get over him?? You guys weren’t even dating!” One if your friends whined. You where on a trip with them over in California and they where not having it with you. It had been at least two months since you fell out with Wilbur. You thought that you might have been too harsh on him but you were being honest! He’s been hiding something from you and you didn’t like it. You didn’t like how much he lied. But it hurt. Badly when you stopped talking to him. You hadn’t even gotten his phone number. 6 years and you still hadn’t gotten his phone number.

Its not like you didn’t try to apologize. You looked for him. Everywhere. You asked everyone about him and nobody knew. Your heart was broken. You wanted to take everything back. You felt like an idiot. All you wanted to do was see him and tell him how much you loved him.

“That doesn’t matter. I lost a good friend.”

“But you have me! And if you tell me who this mystery guy is I could help you find him!”

Yeah you hadn’t told anyone about Wilbur. Well, that’s a lie. He was all you talked about. But you never said exactly who he is. You didn’t want them to cause something and get all up in your life. “Sorry but no.” I tease.

Your friend huffs before smiling again. Okay well, we have to go before we are late for the concert.

“Who are we seeing?” You ask unknowingly, “Livejoy?”

Your friend laughs, “No Lovejoy!”

“Yeah okay. We are going to see Livejoy.” You said laughing, a wide grin on your face.

“Ugh YN!” They said teasingly.

Once you got there you saw your friends face grinning widely. They were happy so you where happy. Anything to make them happy you thought. Soon enough, someone announced “Welcome Lovejoy!” Over the speakers. Everyone started cheering and screaming peoples names. And one of them stood out to you, “Wilbur!” Somebody yelled out. Why couldn’t you stop thinking about him!

Suddenly a tall man with curly hair approached the stage. You swore that your heart stopped for a second. It was him. Wilbur Soot. Your Wilbur Soot. Was thins what he was hiding? God how you just wanted to crawl into a rock and die. The worst part was that you were right in the front. You stared. Just stared. He was wearing a racer jacket and black pants. His smile was wide and you couldn’t help but smile. You where so proud of him. Why would he try to hide this?!? The person you admired the most had his own band. And its not a little band. He had thousands of fans!

You smiled widely as you stared at him. He said hi and did his intro before starting the first song, call me what you like. Mid way through the song you made eye contact with him. And it wast a one second eye contact thing. It was for a hot minute. You could tell he was shocked. As he stared at you he started to mutter some if the words.

You where in love. So in love. You smiled the whole show. Once it ended, you where asked to go backstage. And once got there you found Wilbur. Your Wilbur.

“Listen Yn i’m sorry-“ But you didn’t let him finish, you hugged him tightly, jumping on him making him catch you. You buried your nose into his neck and smiled. “God I missed you.”

You heard a small gasp before he spoke softly, with you still in his arms. You could practically hear his love for you.

“The longer I’m gone the more I realize how much I love you.” He whispered in your ear lovingly.

P.S I FIXED SO MUCH BECAUSE AT FIRST I WROTE IT AT LIKE 1 AM AND IT WAS HORRIBLE. THIS TOOK ME FOREVERRRRR. ANYWAY- Hope you enjoyed! :D

[nerdylizj]

Ms Stem anon here. I received my BS in Biology. As you can imagine the past couple of years have been… fun (is it really when people think you’re part of a big conspiracy, but jokes on them because have they EVER been part of a group project?) Now after working and volunteering for the past 3ish years I’m going back for, hopefully, family therapy. I like helping people face to face. And a lot of my volunteering involved pointing disenfranchised communities and those affected by C19 to resources and services they would otherwise be unaware of. The program I volunteered through also participated in fairs, provided vaccine clinics/gave vouchers, provided testing, amongst other services. My work with children involved a lot of guiding them on how to self regulate and validating their emotions/experiences while also helping them find ways to deal with them in a healthier manners. A big part of it is guiding them towards the safer choices but making sure they feel as if they came to that choice all on their own. It can be mentally taxing at times due to some having some bad home lives but it’s overall very satisfying.

Having a bio degree allows me to better advocate for myself and others medically as well as being able to better understand/scrutinize media reports on research. While I understand why there is a barrier to reading studies to avoid people without the background to misconstrue it, we also allow for misinformation to persist as there is significant scientific illiteracy going on. There should be a way to better communicate with those lacking the education and training we receive.

Spiel aside… the babies will continue to suffer and I support… it makes me a well rounded individual. I’m excited to see what will ultimately happen with them. There are a lot of implications for their, and kids, future. Not only did girly pop marry and procreate with the enemy, he is technically heir to the thrown as will be her children. But hey maybe one day they’ll have all their memories and remember that they were into each other pre-brainwashing. What with their awkward flirting and katara “keeping an eye on him.”

Ooh I did read the fic that inspired yours. Hopefully one day that one will be continued (i hope the author is doing, and does, well regardless of whether they do or don’t continue it).

omg you’ve done so much meaningful work <333 i don’t think the General Public really understands just how hard covid hit already-disenfranchised people/those who experience health disparities. and it still is hitting hard!!! btw one of my besties is a family therapist (liv, tell me i'm right..) and i always admire her tenacity to provide meaningful sessions to her clients even when she’s burnt out or compassion fatigued <3 it is not easy work

i’ll be honest i’m not a fan of (doing the) research but at least i can read and interpret it 😭💞 imho, it is a privilege to be health/scientific literate. i agree with you 100% about misinformation... health and scientific illiteracy is a hugely multi-faceted, societal problem that will take generations to truly change (and a lot of work). not to mention that there are valid concerns for some communities to distrust medicine/science

i think zk may need ur counseling services, a feelings wheel, and time/space to process... too bad there’s a war going on and they are both so dumb JKFEFVJKNMEO

i love catie_writes_things’ fic soo much. i hadn’t read a memory loss fic before so it haunted me many a nights after i first read it. then the zk ghoul took hold of me and here i am... like 220k+ later 😭😭😭😭

I love that you’re considering this career, i wish you all the best of luck in ur grad school apps 💗

[wetcatspellcaster]

Same BG3-> dragon age anon: you said you liked to talk about it last time so please give me your full opinion if you are passionate🫶🏽 many thanks

hello anon!

this is a very open-ended, and dangerous question! to be honest, there is a lot to dismantle and unpick about Dragon Age until there's nothing left to enjoy (I actually love critiquing it though, jokes on them I love to be a hater). But! If I'm focusing on the positives!

What Dragon Age is to me, is 'what I wanted skyrim to be when I played it'. This is no shade on Skyrim, it's just that that was the first fantasy rpg I ever tried, and I'm just not a sandbox girlie. I got increasingly frustrated with Skyrim, claiming I wanted to feel like I'd impacted the world and that my decisions had consequences. What I wanted, in hindsight, was D&D, but my friend turned to me and said 'have you played dragon age?' and thus a mental illness was born.

I honestly think BG3 knowingly borrowed many of the things Dragon Age is still loved by its fandom for. I also think it did a lot of them better, simply through the grace of being 10 years newer than Inquisition (and not being owned by EA!) But for me, the split between 'adventuring' and 'home space cutscenes', the focus on companion quests, relationships based in approval, and romances are all things that are done in a clear understanding of what made Dragon Age so popular. BG3's endings for each companion are more starkly contrasted and nuanced, but I liked playing Dragon Age and seeing my games altered depending on my choices. Again, here I'm not saying Dragon Age is perfect! I think the BG3 romances are more solid across the board compared to Dragon Age, and the only game that I think has a comparative '100% hot' rate is Dragon Age Origins. But the reason there's such a huge crossover in the fan bases is bc Dragon Age did a lot of it first! Bioware as a developer is heralded in academic video game criticism for being one of the first studios to encourage parasocial relationships with its fictional characters, and to use affective relationships with these figures as a way of deepening your immersion and the perceived 'realism' of a videogame world.

My other favourite thing about Dragon Age is it's buckwild wizard politics! Mages (in the first three games) are placed in 'circles', which are essentially magic school prisons bc mages are too dangerous to be out in society. The tensions surrounding 'mage rights' are the subject to many memes in the fandom, but I think it's genuinely one of the most interesting parts of the world that runs through all 3 games. The concept of the Circles really appeals to the part of me that occasionally falls prey to Dark Academia (and one of my fave authors NK Jemisin agrees with me, she used them as one of her inspirations for her award winning series The Broken Earth!)

I think the reason I write fanfic primarily for videogames is because the nature of gaming code and the way videogames work as texts means there is always gaps left by the slightly utilitarian approach to storytelling (dialogue options you wish you could change, choices you wish you could make, parts of the world you wish you could explore more directly). My first fic ever (!) was a Dragon Age fic about the Rite of Tranquility, an aspect of the world that is often quite plot relevant but then never really dug into bc of who the protagonists of each game are, where mages are cut off from the dream realm that gives them their magic forcibly, like a cauterised wound. I really loved this element of the story as a fantasy device, and I daydreamed about how that experience would impact an individual... 3 years later, covid hit, and a fic was born!

so yeah! I just think dragon age is neat! and in typical-me fashion, I like the way its wizards work :)

[mariacallous]

“Barbenheimer”—the collective celebration around the release of the Barbie and Oppenheimer movies—has collided with the wedding industrial complex. That’s not a joke. According to a Variety story this week, people are planning on taking their friends and family, prenuptials, to see the two films as a double feature. People who aren’t getting married are planning similar movie-watching marathons. It’s the kind of viral cultural moment marketing teams dream of. It also feels like a sign of the end times.

This sense of dread doesn’t stem from the public’s collective yearning to absorb stories about a Mattel doll and the development of atomic weapons at the same time. It’s because this weekend promises the kind of “let’s all go to the movies!” hype (and box office haul) that cinemas haven’t seen since before the Covid-19 pandemic shut theaters down—and it’s happening as Hollywood is going on strike.

This week, WIRED rolled out a series of stories detailing what we believe the future of entertainment might entail. The purpose was to look at how all aspects of culture, from books to video games to YouTube, could be impacted by advancements in technology. As we worked on it, though, something happened: Contract talks between Hollywood studios and the writers and actors unions began to break down. One of the major sticking points in those negotiations was the use of artificial intelligence in movie- and TV-making. Suddenly, as Madeline Ashby wrote in her essay this week, the world was in the midst of Hot Strike Summer.

Then, Hot Strike Summer slammed into the Barbenheimer moment. Once the Screen Actors Guild—American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, or SAG-AFTRA, called for a walkout, stars could no longer smile on red carpets without looking like scabs. The stars of Oppenheimer walked out of the film’s London premiere when the strike began. The cast and filmmakers behind Barbie, which premiered before SAG called for a strike, voiced their support. Soon, “This Barbie Is Now on Strike” became the headline, transforming one of the world’s most well-known figurines into Norma Rae. The marquee at my local theater in Brooklyn listed both movies alongside the phrase “Atomic Kenergy,” while The New York Times asked, “Can I Watch ‘Barbenheimer’ Despite the Hollywood Strikes?” (Short answer: Yes.)

To that end, the strikes will not affect Oppenheimer or Barbie’s opening weekend box office numbers. Earlier this week, AMC Entertainment reported that some 40,000 people had bought tickets for both films, and together they’re estimated to make around $150-200 million domestically, with Greta Gerwig’s send-up of the Mattel doll bringing in a bigger chunk than Christopher Nolan’s historical drama about the man behind the atomic bomb.  

But what matters is what happens after this weekend. By all accounts, Hot Strike Summer seems poised to last beyond one season. Even before SAG went on strike, studio sources were telling reporters that the plan was to let the strike “drag on until union members start losing their apartments and losing their houses.” In response to that, actor Ron Perlman took to social media to say “listen to me, motherfucker—there’s a lot of ways to lose your house.” He later walked that back, but when Hellboy enters the chat, you know it’s not going to end gently.

The longer writers and actors are on strike, the bigger the hole next summer or the summer after that, when the movies that would be filming right now aren’t ready. (Deadpool 3 and the sequel to Mission: Impossible—Dead Reckoning Part One, for example, are both currently on hold.) Cinemas have been bouncing back in the years since Covid restrictions were lifted and people began feeling comfortable in movie houses again. A lackluster year brought on by a dearth of films could prove detrimental.

Yesterday, Comic-Con International began in San Diego. Typically, or at least before the pandemic, the event has been full of panels with flashy stars promoting their next big movie or TV series. As long as SAG is on strike, those celebs won’t show. Some attendees will likely welcome the event’s return to its comics roots, rather than the Hollywood hype-fest it has become. But no matter what happens, it will be unlike any Comic-Con in recent memory. Maybe a little less plastic, but not fantastic.

[changedlives]

Christian In Transition

Bishop Kevin your pop ups have blessed me so much. I just want to share with you the transitioning I am on the past year.

I was in a comfortable job, making good money. But also new God was looking out for me. You see this job was placed on my parth during covid. I was self employed and did not think how I will survive and boom I was offered this job.

I won the award for best sales and then it all went down Hill. I was not happy inside, it was a battle to feel the joy. But I kept going and praying as it just felt iff this work was consuming me. Ps. I’m a single parent and boy I can give so many testimony. I was at one stage thinking why all this happened to me. But that’s a story for another day.

No shutting down each month made my targets. The money was good but I was so over it. Praying for an outcome. In your 50’s your options is limited. But then God stepped in.

You see with our work conferences my colleagues would always make jokes and tell jokes of Jesus. I would stand up and walked away. Say nothing but rather remove me from the environment. It went on for 3 years. And I think that’s why I was so unhappy. One such get-together it happened again and as I was driving back home I clearly could hear God’s voice saying for how long are you going to keep silent. They making fun of my child. The following week I told my manager how I feel and that I do not appreciate that they disrespect Jesus and making jokes. The response I got was “ ooo what church and Christianity are you” I told her that I’m a Christian and what church I belong to does not matter but respecting each other does.

Well then all started I was so victimized and worked out. Still making my targets I was put on a performance review, but yet others in my team never ever made target. They offered me a mutual agreement. But still with an option to be a contractor for them.

But I was so relieved. Up to date I’m bringing in more business than there own consultants. So God is still showing them.

It’s hard because I obviously don’t have a fix income and have a house, vehicle and 2 children. But yes it’s not going as planned but it’s now a year and God is providing. Not 1 month that I could not pay my bills.

But this is what I actually want to say. I was praying for an outcome a job that I can do God’s word a place he wants me at.

I got a call and I got a job at a childrens home as a NPO CRM Manager (not a good salary will not even cover my vehicle installment). But I accepted. Because I believed this is where I need to be. The very first day I walked into the office I just got this burning fire in my stomach. I dismissed it and thought that it is me and my nerves. But even when I went home I was tired and the burning just didn’t stop. Day 3 (and I never followed you Biship) you pop up came up. You message was so directed at me. It was if God was speaking. You stated you prayed for this job but your stomach is burning because that’s not for you. That’s not what God’s vision is for you. You think that this job came of God but it’s not. I stayed and the burning intense so that I actually got sick. 3 days later I realized that your pop up was a message for me. I resigned. And the minute I submitted my resignation the burning was gone.

I don’t know what God’s plan is for me but I do know that HE is getting me ready for something Bigger.

Bishop Kevin thank you for you pop ups. I love everyone and got so addicted to it.

Blessing from a Christian in transition.

[theood]

Yo that’s crazy your middle school wouldn’t let you have water bottles. We were allowed to but it could only be water and they had to be see through because they had too many students sneaking alcohol into the school and getting drunk

Also in high school apparently a girl to came with a vibrator inside her and her friend had the remote and would use it on her randomly during the day. The teachers and admin knew about it but couldn’t do anything because they couldn’t prove it without major violations and probably worse

My middle school was fucking crazy. I had a math teacher who told me and all my class that we would never amount to anything and we we're all going to be homeless living in cardboard boxes and nothing happened to her 🤗. Because she was retiring the next year or something. They talked to about every kid in my class and we all said Yes That Happened.

They were also extremely detention heavy. Along with write-ups. It was an ongoing joke amongst me and other students they had a certain number of those they had to give out daily. I'm not joking when I say one kid got a write-up for forgetting a pencil.

I've been out of that middle school for years now. I met up with some kids before I moved at the playground who went and they STILL told me it was bad. My mom worked at a corner store and she also had kids always telling her that that middle school was fucking HORRIBLE. So it wasn't just Me

Also. Oh my God?? This is like when I hear people talk about kids masturbating in class. How are you guys doing that??? I guess whatever gets you through the day...

I have less highschool stories because. Well. Softmore year through senior year was COVID but once one of the principles in my public hs misgendered my friend who was out to the entire school (teachers included) and when I corrected him he went "we'll deal with that later". It's a situation that if I could go back in time I would've fucking chewed him out more for that.

Also, once, me and my friend Freddy before our last period (a study hall) were in the bathroom for ~10 minutes. We got out and went to class. The next day we both got called into the office with the principal because the bathroom "smelled like vape" and we were in there the longest. He then searched both our bags.

My dad was PISSED about this. It was for a lot of reasons but one of them was the fact they searched us without a female present, and he was also pissed off they searched us at all without anyone else in the room.

I had less to say about it. Again if I COULD go back I'd probably have doubled down and said they couldn't search my bag and that if they're going to I want one of my parents there. So that my mom or dad could rip them a new one because I've never even fuckin' TOUCHED a vape.

Also I got suspended for 3 days for something. I don't remember what. My parents called the Highschool over a detention I got that was such a bullshit excuse and they went "um well either he does the detention or we suspend him" so. I got suspended. As though that's like some law that a kid HAS to do the detention and it isn't their choice.

My online highschool has no stories because I was so depressed in that and I don't think I really actually Learned Anything. My grades TANKED and I had an insanely low GPA. I genuinely think I only graduated because they didn't have a GPA requirement

[aci32]

MACHINE HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey folks, sorry for running two days late but better late than never, here is my 1st review of 2024, Machine Head!!!!!!!! It was my first gig in 2 months as the last one I saw was Cattle Decapitation and Immolation last December, I was going to see Exmortus but I decided against it due to pre holiday stress getting to me. This was the first time in 4 years I had seen MH as I last saw them when they did their evening with tour, and it was the first of two shows I saw that year a month before covid took a stranglehold on the world, second show was Vader two weeks later. Plus when I saw them 4 years ago it was when they played Burn My Eyes in it's entirety in the 2nd half of their set after they played the first half of their songs from all their catalog, which to me is a show that won't get topped.

Let's begin the festivities!

First band up was Gates to Hell. I had looked them up on metal archives and they looked like a band I wouldn't be into, sure enough my point was proven as I found them boring like I do with a majority of metalcore and deathcore bands and it was all the more reason to save my headbanging energy. I then said to my pal Alex "Stogie" Stojanovic in a joking manner "I at least didn't get splashed with water in my face twice".

Next band up was Orbit Culture!!! Compared to Gates to Hell, these guys were better as their songs were more groovy since they are a mix of Melo Death and Groove Metal and plus they had great stage presence. When I heard them live I was hearing some Dark Tranquillity vibes off of them. At one point during their set frontman Niklas Karlsson had said "Of the shows we've played in Canada, I think this is the biggest? But it's also the weakest" which elicited boos from the crowd but he did give them a pep talk to start moshing and crowdsurfing more, which they did and he would then compliment Toronto's energy and efforts.

After Orbit Culture it was time for Fear Factory!! This was my 3rd time seeing Fear Factory as it had been almost 11 years since I last saw them which was also the last time I would see them with Burton C. Bell as he had acrimoniously left Fear Factory as the previously squashed beef between him and Dino Cazares had ignited almost 4 years ago and it came as a shock to all of us, especially when it was at the height of covid at that time. So they got a new singer from Rome, Italy in the name of Milo Silvestro and his growls and cleans almost sounded identical to Burton's vocal style, which was scary in a sense but I was otherwise pleasantly surprised with that performance. I'll also point out I've now seen Fear Factory three times with three different drummers and three different bassists respectively: 2010 was Byron Stroud and Gene Hoglan from Strapping Young Lad so it was ½ FF and ½ SYL. 2013 was Matt Devries who is also rhythm guitarist for Chimaira and Mike Heller formerly of Malignancy and who now plays for Raven, so ½ FF and ¼ Chimaira and ¼ Malignancy. This year was Tony Campos from Static X and Pete Webber from Havok, so ½ FF and ¼ Static X and ¼ Havok. Also when Dino Cazares had finished introducing the band members he said "I think I speak for all the fat dudes here how many fat guys we got *many raised their horns and yelled* we got some XXL shirts at the merch booth or as I call them Dino size" which had Stogie and I cracking up. Here's FF's setlist:

1. Shock

2. Edgecrusher

3. Powershifter

4. Disruptor

5. Fuel Injected Suicide Machine

6. Linchpin

7. Slave Labor

8. Demanufacture

9. Replica

After FF it was time for MACHINE HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my 7th time seeing Machine Head and first time in almost 12 years I see them play at a large nightclub as last time that happened was when I saw MH at Rebel as direct support for Dethklok, in which looking back on it MH stole the show. This was also the first time in 12 years I had seen MH on tour with opening acts as I last saw that on January 28th, 2012 at Rebel then known as Sound Academy with Darkest Hour and Suicide Silence on the Unto the Locust tour. Each time I've seen them live they just get better with each performance. Before Aesthetics of Hate and then dedicating it to Dimebag Darrell, Robb Flynn had said the following "Holy Shit Toronto! Goddamn! We got some rowdy motherfuckers for a monday night here in Canada, lemme hear you make some noise Toronto *crowd roars* nah nah nah let me hear you make some NOIIIISSSEEE *crowd roars louder* fuck. I tell you what, it is awesome to be back now, so awesome to be back. We got here, actually we got here last night, yesterday afternoon, I went walkin around, it totally brought back all these crazy memories of the first time Machine Head played in Toronto. So the first tour we did was opening for Napalm Death and Obituary and we played over at the Opera House so I walked by the Opera House and then we came back with Slayer a little while later and we did a little show called umm.. I think it was Much Music or something like that? They had us come on and play Davidian and I walked by that building and I was like 'oh shit' and all these killer memories came back and I just wanna say man it feels good to be back in your fuckin city man thank you". Also at the end of Aesthetics of Hate, there was a silhouette of Dimebag on the screen, which was a touching gesture. As MH were performing Unto the Locust Robb had made commented on the weed being smoked and he admired the smell of it as it made him say "woooooo". Before their last song Halo and opening band acknowledgements, Robb Flynn did another speech "Like I said earlier, we got some rowdy motherfuckers on a monday night in Toronto fuck! How's everybody in the balcony doing man, you guys doing alright back there? Fuckin eh, ragers ragers over here man. And how's all my motherfuckers in the circle pit doing, you guys doing alright? Where's the captain? I love all the masks, everyone's wearing the fuckin ram skull masks I love it, see people go *makes horn crashing sound with his fists punching together* where's the captain at? I need your captain's hat man, I need that no no no, bring it up here, I need that captain's hat, that's some good shit *Adam Cooper brings his hat to Robb Flynn* Slayer captain's hat, thanks Toronto". I'll also point out that Wacław "Vogg" Kieltyka wasn't on this tour due to his commitments with Decapitated so instead Reece "Babyface" Scruggs from Havok was in the band on lead guitar duties, so this tour was definitely linked with Havok members. Here's MH's setlist:

1. Imperium

2. Ten Ton Hammer

3. CHØKE ØN THE ASHES ØF YØUR HATE

4. Aesthetics of Hate

5. Old

6. Locust

7. The Blood, the Sweat, the Tears (Robb Flynn renamed the last part Beers)

8. NØ GØDS, NØ MASTERS

9. SLAUGHTER THE MARTYR

10. Bulldozer

11. From this Day

12. Davidian

13. Halo

Overall, an awesome metal show and a great way to kick off the 2024 concert season for me.

HEAVY METAL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thedawningofthehour]

My office coworkers and I still make jokes about it still being March 2020. It's like COVID altered the linear progression of time or something. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway! HAPPY ONE YEAR OF SLOW BURN KILLING ME AND THROWING MY EMOTIONS DOWN THE STAIRS AFTER SHOOTING ME IN THE HEART! <3

I can't imagine what it's like for the high schoolers. This nonsense has been going on like your entire high school career. Not that high school's super great or anything, but I feel bad for those of you who couldn't experience all the suck.

Seriously, when I turned 25 I was like "okay, this year I'm gonna get my shit together! I'm gonna get a big girl job, move out of my mom's house, blah blah blah-"

Covid hit like three months later and I am still mentally 25. And also I'm never moving out because our rent hasn't gone up since 2013 and we paid literally 2/3rds what my sister was paying in 2020 for a studio. Fuck if I'm paying more for a shittier place to live.

THANK YOU IT EASES THE PAIN OF EXISTENCE!

[creampuffqueen]

soo if you dont mind me asking, do you know when or why you started coming to some kind of realizations that you were bi (or possibly lesbian)?

i have lived my entire life convinced im straight but after some things i realized that i may be bi. But i dont know. i dont think im a lesbian but i also know im not fully straight, you know?

please don't answer if this too personal or uncomfortable, i dont want you to answer anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. you can totally ignore it.

I saw your post about talking things through with your friend recently and i'm really happy you were able to have that open conversation with someone you trust about yourself, despite what your label or sexuality may be ❤️.

if you do choose to answer this, thank you in advance. i appreciate it.

of course i don't mind you asking!! honestly i'm very flattered and honored to be asked this as i'm certainly no expert on sexuality or anything like this, but it makes me happy that my blog is a safe and welcoming space for someone who has these kinds of questions!

so, here's sort of a quick and dirty rundown of my sexuality journey. (i ended up putting this under a cut because it got a bit long whoops).

for starters, i grew up in a christian household in a small, conservative town in the middle of nowhere texas. my parents are far from being fundamentalists or anything, but they just... never spoke about other sexualities. i didn't even know being gay was an OPTION until i was about 12.

in middle school, many of my friends began to discover/experiment with sexuality and gender labels. i never really did, i always felt content and comfortable with my attraction to boys. (or, due to recent realizations, my supposed attraction to boys. but we can touch on that later).

then, some time around when i was 12-13, i had an Experience that made me begin to question things a bit.

i was at a sleepover for a friend's birthday party, and after a long night of fun we all fell asleep in her living room in our sleeping bags. i was the first to wake up in the morning, and in order to not wake anyone else up, i stayed in my sleeping bag and played video games on my phone. at one point, another girl woke up, and since we were the only two awake, she came and sat next to me. i didn't know this girl too well, she was a mutual friend of the sleepover girl. but at one point, in order to better see what i was playing on my phone, she crawled inside the sleeping bag with me.

and i just remember feeling warm all over as she laid next to me. i was struck with the sudden desire to pull this girl close and cuddle with her. i don't remember anything else about that sleepover except this one moment early in the morning.

i went to school the next week and spoke about this with one of my friends who knew they were queer, saying that i thought i might have a crush on this girl and wondering if i could possibly be bisexual.

and... my friend told me that no, i didn't have a crush on this girl, i clearly just wanted to be Really Really Good Friends with her. obviously. comphet hits even the queer middle schoolers, apparently.

and so after that i was like 'okay then you're the expert! guess i don't like girls :)' and then literally didn't think about it for the next 2-3 years.

time jump to 15 year old Mal, stuck inside during the Covid Summer of 2020 with nothing to do. my brother and i decided to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender for the first time together to pass the time. i saw Suki on screen for the first time and felt something in me Change.

i've always had fictional crushes, you know? but nothing like this.

and as all well adjusted gen-z kids do, i made a bunch of memes about it. at first they were all jokes. just, 'lol, look how much i love this fictional character'.

but after a while i began to realize that i wasn't exactly joking anymore.

so there you have it folks, suki from avatar made me like girls.

but even after this realization, i still wasn't exactly comfortable with calling myself bisexual. i went by queer for a little while, before eventually settling on bisexual. now, ATLA was my first introduction to the world of animation. i began to watch a ton more animated shows after finishing it, and in all the shows i often found myself more drawn to the female characters than the males. don't get me wrong, i still enjoyed those characters, but i was OBSESSED with the girls.

and after i went back to school in person, i did begin to notice that what i originally thought was just wanting to be friends with girls was running a bit deeper than that. i had my first real girl crush (i stopped liking her after she trashed the legend of korra to my face though).

and that was my life for the last few years! i was very happy with being bisexual, and i am very lucky that i have such a supportive and accepting friend group. coming out to my friends was so easy and i've never been worried they wouldn't accept me, which is great.

and now, for what has led me to believe i might possibly be a lesbian.

i got my first boyfriend my senior year of high school. he was an absolutely wonderful guy. i've always been pretty 'picky' when it comes to men. i get crushes very easily but if a guy starts to reciprocate then they have to meet this high list of standards i have composed in my head. and this guy met them all.

by all accounts, i should have been SO happy. like i'm not even exaggerating when i say that this boy was basically perfect. he treated me so well. my friends and family adored him.

and yet, something just didn't feel right. i started to get very nervous about being alone with him. i started getting annoyed whenever he texted me. i started avoiding seeing him, avoiding having him come over. eventually it got to the point where i decided i just had to end things, because something was off with me and i didn't want to string him along when he deserved better. i broke up with him and didn't shed a single tear.

everyone was pretty confused, but eventually got over it. i thought that perhaps it was just a fluke. it was my first real relationship, maybe i was just nervous.

but then it happened again this year in college. i met a great guy on a dating app. we had fun together, he was really nice and respectful. we never made it official, but we spent enough time together it was basically a relationship. and then, again, when everything should have been going well i started feeling the same things as before. anxiety, annoyance, avoidance. i broke it off with him over text and felt relieved when it was finally over.

after that, i began to consider the possibility that i was never attracted to guys in the first place. i lost sleep over it, i was thinking so hard.

and then i thought to myself 'i don't think people who are attracted to guys have to think this hard about it'.

so since then, i've been entertaining the possibility that i might be a lesbian. it's still a journey, and i'm working on being okay with the in between stage i'm in. i don't want to put a definitive label on myself until i've been with a girl, which isn't something i've had the opportunity to do yet.

and that's sort of all the major events in my life that i've had in regards to my sexuality!

i hope this has been of some help to you, anon! i also just want to add in some reassurance as well. sexuality can be a complex thing, so don't feel the need to rush into a new label if you're not ready yet. everyone's journey is at their own pace, and you're not 'less' bisexual if this is something you've only recently discovered about yourself!

i wish you all the luck with your self-discovery, anon! and my inbox and dms are always open if you have more questions!

[otakween]

Digimon Adventure Drama CD 2 (Character Song + Mini Drama 2)

It's pretty funny how both this CD and the previous one begin with Butterfly. I guess the CD needed an OP just like the anime! Christmas isn't mentioned once on this CD by the way...

Download link

Drama Translation

Koushiro and the Missing Whereabouts of Love

In this mini drama Koushiro is writing a love letter on his laptop and the gang find out. Everyone mobs him with questions and excitement and then he flies away with Kabuterimon to escape.

I don't have much to say about this one because it was so short. The only thing I found kind of amusing was that Yamato defends Koushiro at first but then is like "actually, I want to see it too teehee."

When I read the translation for this, there were actually more characters involved than I realized. There were so many people talking over each other that I completely missed Gomamon was there lol.

Image Song 1 - VERSION UP (Koushiro Izumi)

Translation

I hate to say it, cuz Koushiro is my fave, but I think this was one of the weaker image songs. I like the appropriately nerdy title, but the lyrics were too abstract to be interesting. Something about changing the world for the better.

I did get a kick out of hearing Koushiro singing at least. I kinda wish the digimon had duets with their human partners. Hearing Tentomon singing would be hilarious (maybe that comes later).

Mimi’s Overly Self-Conscious Plans for World Domination

The gang capture Koushiro and continue debating over who he wrote his love letter to. Mimi is very confident that it's herself and goes on and on about how all men fall for her. Koushiro is apparently gagged so can't protest.

Kinda weird jokes in this one. They say that Koushiro would be unhappy with Sora because she'd have him whipped (which...where did that come from?) And then they do the whole "you can't date my younger sister" crap. Yamato chimed in that if he was Taichi he wouldn't let Koushiro date Hikari...why does he care? Just unfunny early 2000s gags lol

Another obscure reference joke. This time about The Kindaichi Case Files. Definitely had to wikipedia that one. This CD wasn't exactly written to hold up in the future, huh?

Image Song 2 - Because We Can See Each Other Anytime (Mimi Tachikawa)

Translation

I loved this one, extreme Mimi vibes. Nothing to do with saving the world or facing your fears, just a poppy love song. I guess there's definitely a tinge of melancholy to it. It sounds like it's about a long distance relationship.

I liked the lyrics and imagery in this one, especially the line about minds leaving bodies and meeting without any restrictions. It almost felt like a song about love during COVID lol.

Hikari’s Weak Constitution

Okay, this one was basically just a shit post lol. It starts off following up on the previous part with the gang discussing who Koushiro is writing a love letter to and then it just descends into chaos. Very "lol randum" kinda humor with the characters saying lines that have nothing to do with the situation. Kinda funny, mostly stupid.

Booo we don't even get to figure out who the letter was to because they beep it out. Hikari politely asking us to listen to her song was cute tho lol.

Image Song 3 - Holy Light (Hikari Yagami)

Translation

Another kind of abstract one only this one has weird psuedo-religious vibes. Typical of anime to do that though. I guess it makes sense with all the angel digimon. Gonna interpret this one as being about having faith in dark times. (Maybe not in the Christian sense tho lol)

Hikari's voice is really cute. I kind of wish there were animations of the characters singing these. Maybe if someone made an AMV with lip sync...

Preview for the Next CD

There's a little "next time on Digimon Adventure" preview at the end haha. Nice touch. No translation so I had to figure this one out on my own. Something about "hatsu yume" which is the first dream you have in the New Year.

I cracked the code, the reason why the cover art for this CD is Christmas themed is because it came out in December. Still weird, but okay...

[unioncolours]

15 Questions for 15 People FOR ME 💖

(I am just happy to answer some questions hihi)

I was tagged by @clumsydragon28 aaahhh 🥰

Are you named after anyone?

Nope, it's just a name my parents liked.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday, Saturday evening, a full blown crying attack, haha. Everything is fine now, luckily 🥰 Before that, it was many weeks ago.

3. Do you have kids?

I would say I have one 💜 An unborn baby still in my stomach (35 weeks out of 40). I feel their kicks every day and I press my hand against their foot and feel like we're communication a little bit. In five weeks, my baby will transition into our world and then it's sealed.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I did horseback riding for 19 years, until my horse died of a sudden illness in 2021. I never competed on any serious level, and was a, as we say here, "a bush/shrub rider", which meant me and my horse worked together for fun and not for outer contest pressure. I had my horse for 11 years ❤

5. Do you use sarcasm?

My family have never used sarcasm. No dad jokes, no fooling children on purpose, no speaking mean to animals and no dark humour. I've not been taught to use sarcasm, but learned later how to use it. I am not too much of a fan, though.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Tbh, their mouths. Their shape, their smile, beard, dimples, scars, their teeth, all that.

7. What's your eye color?

Light hazel.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

These are not really comparable though. It's not "sad ending vs happy ending". I'd say happy endings still ✨

9. Any talents?

I am wickedly good at acting, but I gave up on pursuing that dream because of unstable and sometimes unfair work conditions (as covid proved). I am a good storyteller too.

10. Where were you born?

Suomi-Finland, perkele

11. What are your hobbies?

Right now, it's resting until baby comes. My "real" hobbies are writing and it used to be acting, horseback riding and running, too. I will get back to running when I can.

12. Do you have any pets?

Two cats ❤

13. How tall are you?

155cm 💪

14. Favorite subject in school?

It was what we called mothertongue. I also liked history and biology a lot.

15. What is your dream job?

I have a good job right now. My dream would be a published novel author beside my day job (which I know can be possible if I stop writing fics and only pursue my novel), but I am a published play wright so that's also perfect. I am happy. I feel like I won the lottery of life as it is now, sometimes.