#covid conscious boy

[motherearthlovesus]

italian summer nights w/ theo

🫒🥂🌛

[circasoleil]

New « Draw your OCs » but it’s just me at my last drag show (with a copious amount of nasal spray used to keep myself safer!)

[zoeyblueart]

I want to start drawing ns/ft art again so I’m uploading some old stuff to see if it gets any interest

ID: a digital not safe for work drawing of a tan feminine presenting man. Their blond hair is pulled back with black bunny ears and a clip with three red hearts on it. They are wearing a white lacy see through cami and black see through gloves that go to the upper arm. Their panties are opaque black and below them are thigh high black see through lacy stockings with rose designs. Their body is facing away where the main focus in on their butt and upper thighs and they are twisting at the hip to look back and down at the viewer with a smirk while holding the bottom of the cami slight away from their body. The background is a light blue with gritty texture.

[disasterhimbo]

I’m really sad I have to wait until [unknown date] to see The Boy and the Heron because it’s only being released in theaters and it’s not safe for me to go to the theater anymore :/

[clanoffelidae]

Happy one year anniversary to the night when I really, really should have called an ambulance and only woke up again the next morning by divine intervention. <3

-takes a deep breath- love being able to do that <3 <3 <3

[our-transmasculine-experience]

transmasc question i’m genuinely confused about

for guys/people who’ve gone on T, how bad is the “boy stink”? like does deodorant not cut it?

i’ve heard a lot of people talk about it but i’m super self conscious about how i smell and it might be a genuine dealbreaker for me if it’s not manageable, just wondering how that sort of goes for you all (sorry if this isn’t the place for this /gen)

uh i would love to answer your question but i have absolutely zero sense of smell (guys it’s not covid i promise i just never had a sense of smell) so i cannot help you

however, if anyone else can help please comment or something

[hologramcowboy]

Okay, well, Jensen finally showed up on television again. This time, playing Russell Shaw on Tracker. I'm curious if you watched and what you think of his performance.

Personally, it felt like Dean Winchester never left. It didn't help that there were numerous (and obvious) SPN easter eggs in the episode. I'm curious if that's happened before when guest stars come on. Do the writer's play up that actor's previous roles as much as they did Jensen's?

I'm also curious about a few tweets I saw from people who attended the FBBC event. Apparently, Jensen talked about his role on Tracker.

https://twitter.com/kunerksterphoto/status/1789808856576487771 and https://twitter.com/kunerksterphoto/status/1789808858505888136

I know we get dude in #Tracker tonight, so a little story. I wore my “I Miss Dean” shirt to the brewery event last weekend and as soon as dude saw it he was like “you know that episode of Tracker I did? I asked how they saw me playing it and they told me to do what I know best. So if you miss Dean, you’re going to get quite a bit of Dean on Tracker because he’s what I do best.” So it was a conscious choice and I am so excited by this.

https://twitter.com/kgauck/status/1789821196839637236

He told me I'd probably see a lot of Dean in his role on Tracker. I joked that he was dressed a lot like Dean in the promo pics, and then he made a joke about being typecast.

It sounds like Jensen's basically thrown in the towel on improving his craft since he apparently doesn't mind playing Dean in all his roles, or being typecast.

I read things like this and I can't imagine that he'll ever get another lead role. It's all going to be guest spots for characters that are similar to Dean Winchester. It's disappointing because he's definitely had the time post-SPN to take classes and improve between Covid and the strike. I suppose if he's happy doing guest spots and conventions, good for him, but as a sort-of fan/nearly former fan, I'm just sad to see his career come to this.

He's becoming a sad cliché. He is confusing a character for his main type and that is why he will never be A list and definitely never be Batman.

Thank you for this lovely post, anon.

I did tune in for the episode and, quite frankly, I was disappointed. Casting him seems to have been a gimmick, right down to the beer mentions.

First off, his acting initially seemed to be improved, right up until he started using that fake voice again then it all became cringe after cringe. I am so saddened that Jensen can't see past Dean and that he can't be himself. I know now that he'll never make it, an actor that stagnates can't ever reach A list.

Justin, in comparison, acts naturally, he has a natural instinct and this really just made Jensen look even faker. For the for the first time, Jensen played a completely meh character. He's turning into one of those dudes that star in various shows that no one even remembers because they are just there to advance the lead's plot. Right down to his superficial, mediocre, unnatural choices and I am sorry but in no way did he have the layers of someone who served in the army. That was a key characteristic of his character and he completely missed the plot on that and that's because the mention of it was a Soldier Boy easter egg. Jensen gets so caught up in flaunting his celebrity persona he forgets to embody his characters realistically.

I've read comments from AAs who claim Russell is different compared to Dean and I just want to say: gimmick casting, the whole script was written to callback to Dean, easter eggs included. Stop lying to yourselves and admit that Jensen has thrown in the towel. He is a one trick pony and that one trick will soon expire because, you know what? It's not an interesting character, it's not someone to root for, it's not someone fighting for something. It's a bored, self centered man faking a rougher inner and outer state and mimicking (yes, that's right, mimicking not acting) an idea of his old character. Mimicking poorly. As someone who loved Dean Winchester( when he was well written), I really need Jensen to stop because he is ruining the memory and disrespecting the legacy.

Thank you, anon, for sending me this ask and for asking my opinion, it pains me to say but I agree with you, lead roles aren't feasible.

[asteria7fics]

I don't think Kyle will be the one with a receeding hairline.

It looked like in the post covid special that Stan is the one who got that.

IMO, they’ve both got hairline issues.

While Stan’s receding hairline is more noticeable, I do think they’re both experiencing some male pattern balding, which is totally normal for men their age.

For science, I’ve also looked at their hairlines as boys.

Now I’m not gonna sit here and start counting pixels, especially when I know Those Bastards were not thinking that deeply about where their hairlines should go, but the hair around Kyle’s temples falling back below his natural hairline is definitely a conscious design decision (entirely because that’s what Matt’s hair is doing these days, let’s not get it twisted here).

Likewise, Stan’s hair in Post-Covid is pretty clearly based on Trey’s, and brother is balding. I do find it interesting how far back Stan’s hairline is as a child, though. I guess he’s always had a big-ass forehead.

[miasiegert]

Preview! Me as Raven and David as Beast Boy, photo immersion by the incredible Jester's Forge. A HUGE thank you to our incredible friends for this gift!!! We made everything in the costumes ourselves except Raven's Belt/Medallions/head jewel, protective LED mask, wig bases, shoes, and contacts. (I mean I guess I didn't need to say shoes and contacts since then like undergarments and whatnot that's a given... but I'm really proud of everything we did).

This was a huge deal for me as I'm incredible self-conscious and I'm not used to how my body's changed. It's been years since I've worn a cosplay and while I'm a costume designer, I am not great at alteration. I made version one of this cosplay two years ago (we couldn't attend the con as we got covid 3 days before) and in that time lost 6" in my torso, not sure how much in the butt, and was at a bit of a loss. There are repairs needed for the boot covers and I need to sew them to the tights (we will be adding fishnets for flare) and moving the medallions next time. I am hoping for different shoes. There is a small chance I'll have to redo some other bits of the costume from rubs. The fabric's beautiful but there's some wear since I sweat a lot.

David did two unitards, one in powernet that I loved best, one in lycra that he preferred, but he still doesn't have quite what he wants for Beast Boy. This is version one of the red and white unitard he's playing around with. I did not have time to style the wig but I think it still worked!

Very proud of these costumes and what we did. I'm also very proud of wearing them since I always stress that we make costumes for EVERYONE and we don't discriminate against bodies but it's still very, very difficult for me to get through some gender dysphoria and also some internalized bad-thoughts from my former trainer and the person I based "Heather" in JERKBAIT on (I always cover my legs/thighs/hips, which both would point out and say cruel things about...)

More pics to come! Waiting on one final. :) And again, thank you JestersForge. You made me feel so empowered!

[three-drink-amy]

WIP WEEKEND

Thank you to @welcometololaland for creating such a fun game! And to @orchidscript @strandnreyes @inexplicablymine @alrightbuckaroo and @cricketnationrise for tagging me! I was busy all weekend, but I’m playing along now!

1. WIP List:

RWRB:

Cruise AU —Alex and Henry go on a cruise together. Fake dating ensues.

Bodyguard AU —Alex is Henry’s bodyguard.

Potential third installment of Boy, I Fancy You

Lone Star:

Finish Teachers (I’m getting closer!)

Delayed wedding AU —The wedding doesn’t happen directly after Gabriel dies. It takes a while longer.

PR Relationship AU—Carlos and TK are in the spotlight and enter a PR relationship, but what happens when they catch feelings?

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

Teachers, by a long shot, is the longest. Currently sitting at over 100k.

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

Teachers or Bodyguard AU. Probably Teachers, but I have a lot of plans for Bodyguard.

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

I only have 3 wips I have actual words written for. Teachers is very fun! Bodyguard has been trying to steal my attention for quite a while! It’s so fun to write Jonah, as well as the dynamic of TK, Carlos, and Jonah as a little family.

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

Probably Bodyguard. I need the angst and the drama and the desperation to hit right.

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

Right now, probably the Cruise fic because I’m getting very self conscious about making it as fun as it should be.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

I have my honorary beta reader/cheerleader all rolled into one with @rmd-writes. She worked her way into my docs ages ago and I can’t imagine not asking her to read it first.

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

Yes. Bodyguard did. I started it in January or February of this year, struggled to plan the next chapter, started reading a ton of Lone Star fics, began writing Teachers, and it has sat there like a sad, ignored WIP for months. But I’m coming back to it!

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

Jonah may not be an actual OC, but this version of him kind of is and I absolutely love him! He’s a tiny, loving, teacher’s pet and he is my child.

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

Cruise or Bodyguard may end up being the sexiest. If I’ve done my job right 😂

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

Bodyguard or Delayed Wedding will be the winners. Bodyguard for potential angst and bodily harm, Delayed Wedding for emotions.

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

Well that is really hard. I am gonna say the cruise WIP because I get to really lean into oblivious Alex and I’m excited for it!

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

Cruise fic. They’re on their way to Europe. I can’t wait to get to that part!

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

I guess Teachers, just for the sheer amount of time I have spent writing it. I started it in February. I would love to finish it by the end of 2023. Let’s hope. I looked back and for an unhinged week when I had Covid, I wrote an obscene amount of words. So, yeah, Teachers.

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

Bodyguard or PR Relationship. Both of them lean into tropes I love and so I want them to work.

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

Not that I can remember. Day dream? All the time.

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

I guess Delayed Wedding might because I’ll have to rely a lot on canon. AUs I can be a bit more free.

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

Probably the Cruise fic. Or Teachers.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

Teachers had a decent dive into Jonah, though it’s still from Carlos or TK’s perspective.

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

I’m excited to write more angst. And a few of these will be fulllll of angst. Teeheeheee.

I have no idea who has done this. If you have, ignore me! No pressure tagging: @clottedcreamfudge @indomitable-love @cha-melodius @dumbpeachjuice @liminalmemories21 and @lightningboltreader

[bawnjourno]

without further ado... Sparks Austin recap

I won’t elaborate but the two days of travel to get here were very exhausting and trying. I rolled up to the venue, prepared to maybe sit during some songs and nurse a Diet Coke. 

I had never been to Austin before and boy, is it a music oriented city. Not just the venues but the people, the culture. There were multiple fans in Hippo tour shirts, a fully cosplayed Cate Blanchett, and lots of women in beautiful dresses. The Moody Center’s hallway had snapshots of all the cool people that had played there. I love venues with history!

I was worried that the venue set up would be annoying or awkward but I got to my front row seat and I was 4 feet from the stage, just off to the left of Ron’s piano - the perfect view.

The show started... a lot of U.S. venues had audiences who mostly sat and then got up during MTCYDT but the two thirty something hipster dudes behind me stood the whole time so I got to stand and dance :) And a good chunk of the crowd on the left stayed standing too! I was drenched with sweat maybe 4 songs in and it was amazing. All my tiredness and stress melted away as I was loudly singing and dancing.

This crowd was electric, so loud and responsive and to the Latte cuts too! Not just the hits! People were going crazy for TGICIHL in a way that Milwaukee was more subdued about. Russell smiled at me really big early in the show, probably because I knew the words and was loud and enthusiastic. I got a cute SMWS Russell tummy jump video which I will post later.

During  Nothing Is As Good As They Say It Is, I obviously knew the way Russell sashayed and waved his arm back and forth during the chorus from other shows and was mimicking him. He locked eyes with me and we did the hand punctuating thing at each other during that TWICE.

I am a “woo”er I will freely admit that and so I am constantly obnoxiously screaming and clapping and just being super loud. So I obviously was screaming my head off when Ron got up for Shopping Mall Of Love. During the second chorus he looked DIRECTLY at me and went “yeah ✊” I will post video later but I was shakinggggggg.

There were lots of loud applause breaks and late-ish in the show (can’t remember when), Ron looked directly at me again and mouthed “thank you”. Like no thank YOUUUUUUUU KING!

I know Russell bounces around a lot on stage, HOWEVER, the way this stage was set up, it was probably a bit harder to get to our side of the stage, but he came over a lot anyway and I have to think it was partially because of me because he seemed to almost be finding excuses to come dance with us even when he was about to have to start singing again 🤗

Eli dancing and feeling the music was so slay I love that short king jfdgkjrfkjg

I’m not sure how or why Russell would ever EVER feel self conscious about his tummy.... I was lucky to get it captured during SMWS... during MTYCTD though he danced over and it was too fast for me to get filmed but I basically was 4 feet from the man and watched his tummy bounce out from under his t-shirt for a good 5-7 seconds... mesmerized is the most polite way to put how I felt in that moment but oh my fucking god 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 [redacted] [censored] [an oncoming train whistle obscures what i’m about to say] but suffice it to say [meme voice] I think I hauve covid...

And the open collar and sweat obviously..... yeah.

As I divulged to a few of you and was encouraged by @jefffreybeaumont, the plan was to make a sign that says “YOU’RE MUCH HOTTER THAN THE GALLAGHER BROTHERS” because in interviews they’re always being asked how they don’t fight like the Gallaghers or the Davies. The secret spice was typing it out in Barbie font. I somehow managed to not get it wrinkled in my over 1000 mile 2 day voyage and held it up during the shuffle. I don’t think Russell could read it because he was farther away but during the shuffle I held it up. It was hard to tell Ron’s reaction because I was multitasking but I watched later and sent it to @rhythmthlef and she says his face showed “bemused self effacement” fdkjgkldjsfkg. 

Something I’d stupidly personally worried about for ages was that Ron and Russell didn’t care about the U.S. as much - the U.K. has always embraced them and I’d worried that they didn’t think of these shows as special or meaningful because radio stations here don’t give them the time of day and they don’t always sell out. Since Chicago, I don’t worry about that anymore. Their faces shine with excitement, pride, and pure joy at EVERY SHOW. They’ve gotten more fans since TSB and opportunities that they wouldn’t have gotten ten years ago, even in the U.S. I mean, NPR Tiny Desk! Wow. Russell was emphasizing that the feelings of the shows “don’t go away when we go to the next city” and I could tell that he really meant it. 

Eli came out for the encore in the bucket hat and a red Southern style bandana - very cute. The man who took the photo handed Russell his cowboy hat beforehand and Russell says, “Oh yeah, my hat.” He then proceeds to put it on, smirk confidently at the audience, and say, “What’s up, yall? You from these parts?”WHAT IS WRONG W HIMMMMMMMM GFHJDKJGFKLDSJFKDS CALIFORNIA DOOFUS!!! And I fought for my life squeezing into the pic but I’m in there! Right behind the keyboard!

The pic is taken and I know my chance is now. I start screaming for Ron (who was a bit closer to me) but he doesn’t hear me. I then start screaming at the top of my lungs “RUSSELL!!! I HAVE A LETTER!! RUSSELL!!” and after about 7 times he hears and sees me and meanders over and takes the letter and 2 rainbow Sparks logo acrylic pins (the ones I sold to some of yall a couple months ago)! I’m not sure if they’ll wear the pins but I had to try. I do hope they read the letter - they really do mean everything to me. I was unsure that I’d get their attention at all, so I didn’t get the moment I handed it on film, but I do have a video of Russell holding and then glancing down at the letter. They were leaving the stage and Russell stopped to hold hands with multiple people on his way offstage.

I stood there for a minute, very emotional, then made my way out. As I left, a security guard off to the side went “Hey, you sang all night man, that was great.” and I just replied “They’re my favorite band, you’ve gotta be passionate, y’know, thanks!” Even non fans know I’m a real one kgcjkgjfdkjgfd.

My Lyft driver was super sweet and chatty and I rode back to my hotel feeling like I was floating on a cloud.

Random sidenotes: A) They cut “Toughest Girl In Town” which I didn’t realize til later - I’m sure they’re getting tired near the end of the tour B) Eli is truly such a talented guitarist? He slayed the Bon Voyage solo. He was right in front of me so I really got to see him shine (in my brief moments not zeroed in on Ron and Russell) but obviously the whole band is amazing C) I sent Alissa snaps of me during Beaver O’Lindy and they said “You’re almost singing louder than Russell is” kdgfjkdjkg D) This was the one time I didn’t cry during It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way because I was sweating so much that [Lucille Bluth voice] I couldn’t spare the moisture E) I will share a few videos but I swear my singing is horrendous and embarrassing so just the key moments jfdgjfi F) I used almost 10GB of memory on photos and videos...

The plan is to get a Sparks tattoo within the year. I’ve gotta do it. They are so special to me. I’ve been into bands before and I don’t regret any of it but this feels different and special. This truly feels like where I belong as a fan and a person and as someone who has always felt strange and awkward and out of place. But there’s one place and one song and that’s Sparks.

SparksTour forever ✨

[lesbianboyfriend]

🌻my turn!!!!

hello hello miffy my love! thinking about my birthday….i know ive posted a bit extensively about this already for someone who’s birthday is two months away but i love my birthday so much!!! im just so birthday girl birthday boy….what can i say. anyways im thinking it would be so fun to have a pool party but the logistics are stressing me out bc. most of my friends are in the city and the party would have to be in my hometown which is like an hour commute. also i would want the party to be covid conscious and unforch most of the people i know aren’t cool with that….i also feel a bit silly like covid conscious pool party cause you obvs cant mask while in the pool but like you know. when outside the pool. also just the logistics of mixing friend groups AND having people at my parents house always stresses me out cause im so different around friends vs parents and im always afraid someone will say something i don’t want my parents to hear. plus i’d want to invite some of my coworkers but not all but im not like close enough with them to personally invite them so i can’t think of a way to do it that’s not inviting everyone…but i don’t want to let my fears and anxieties stop me from doing something fun…..but i also tried so hard last year to have a fun party and then my friends lowkey spoiled it for me and it was overall very disappointing and i don’t want to get my hopes all up again. but also i want to have funnnn and ive already made a playlist for it and im like hyper fixated on this idea so i cant stop thinking about details. there would be friendship bracelets and crafts and games…….

[themonkeycabal]

The Wheel of Time Season 2!

There might be some book spoilers, but only small, nothing overt, more like talking about changes from the books to tv.

ANYWAY

Welcome back show!

After the dismal ending to last season (which I was able to forgive because I realized how fucked by covid they got ), it starts out strong. They wisely just take the key points from the finale and forget the rest of it ever happened.

During the first ep, the thing that struck me most was that the show feels more confident — or maybe less self-conscious? Less like they're trying to be a fantasy show and more just 'this is our world and our story in it'. If that makes sense? Everybody just seems more comfortable in their skin, even the show itself.

Like, even the costuming, which was good before, seems even better this season. I got caught noticing the textures of the fabrics - so often in sci-fi/fantasy the materials look like/are upholstery fabrics and they look stiff and awful. This stuff is handwoven (or a good facsimile) and looks like real clothes real people wear.

Also, again, PEOPLE WEARING COLOR! SO GREAT! The beautiful textures and patterns on the little girl's clothes at the Dark Friends Social Of Evil And Darkness. Adeleas and her "i've retired to Florida and have decided to wear every color at once" look. Even Moiraine's "I'm a French peasant laboring in the countryside" clothes have color and texture to them. And, of course, Rand's iconic and wonderfully over-the-top red coat. Perfection.

Lovely work everybody.

Assorted things as they come to me:

• Liandrin — she is stealing the show early this season. And thank God. She wasn't much of a character in the books, to be honest, which is weird given the point of her in the story. But Kate Fleetwood has given her so much depth and made her genuinely intriguing. And that's got to be the greatest trick to her — if you've read the books, you know her, and so how do you make her interesting in this show to book readers? How do you make her surprising or mysterious? I genuinely don't know what Liandrin is up to at any given moment, and that's fantastic. I'm so happy to not have one single clue.

I mean, she has a son? PLOT TWIST. And a tidy way to show the consequences of an Aes Sedai's longer life. I totally thought that was a put-on to manipulate Nynaeve, but, no, it really wasn't. She was genuinely pissed at being followed. And she seemed honestly upset when she thought Nynaeve was dead. She didn't even rub Mat's nose in it, and she could have — totally surprising.

I don't know what she's up to with Min and getting Mat away from the Tower. I love it. I'm interested in Liandrin and I never thought I would be.

• Mat — I liked Barney Harris as Mat, but there is a lightness to Dónal Finn that is more Mat to me. When he's ticking off the sounds Liandrin makes as she leaves, I said "oh there he is" that's Mat the trickster. The thing with Mat is he's not as cynical as he wants everybody to think he is, and I think Dónal conveys that really nicely. And he did a really nice job of carrying on the body language and speech rhythm Barney established. Smooth transition, A+.

Was kind of hoping we'd get to see him beat the snot out of Galad and Gawyn, but I'll get over my disappointment. Maybe it can happen later.

And now's about time for his luck to turn, so I'm super eager to see how they do that.

• Min — another character who's become actually interesting. She bored me to tears in the books. Please, give her something to do other than moon over a guy and wear boys clothes. Christ she was dull. There were moments where you almost might think RJ was going to do something with her and then they'd go away. This Min is much more interesting already, just by virtue of us not having to hear endlessly how wacky and weird she is for wearing trousers. Also, what's Liandrin got over her that she's been pressed into service to take Mat away from the Tower? Thrilled to not know.

Also, did not know I needed Mat and Min as disaster road-trip buddies, but now I desperately need that. The potential for chaos and mayhem with them together is just sky high. Please and thank you.

• Moiraine — sometimes I just think to myself "how on Earth did they get Rosamund Pike?" Like, amazing. Brilliant. A tremendous actress giving so much depth to a complicated character. She was so wholly Moiraine the second we first saw her.

One of my favorite things through season one is how she gets progressively more disheveled as things go. By the time they get to Fal Dara she's a sleep-deprived hot mess. She's pouring everything she has into what she thinks is that last push to drive off the Dark One once and for all, that thing she's given twenty years of her life to, and … it wasn't enough. Not only that, but she lost 'control' of Rand and lost the One Power. Sister is in a pure, desperate spiral at the start of season 2. And you just feel it every time you look at her.

And now she's being both self-flagellating and an unbelievable bitch. I feel sure that there's a well much closer to Verin and Adeleas's place, but no, she's got to go hiking halfway through the countryside to get her own bath water. Also that dig at Lan about having Tomas check her horse because she doesn't want her saddle to slip … damn. You really did that to him? He's more patient than she deserves. Of course, that's also got to be insanely frustrating for her because he just won't Go Away and leave her to her misery and obsessive hunt for whatever will make her feel more in control of The End of the World.

Moiraine is all about control and right now she is hanging on by her fingernails. Which are bloody and torn what with the lugging buckets of water halfway across Arafel every day. Really Moiraine? Where's Siuan to tell her to pull herself together already? And stop being cruel to Lan.

Poor guy. When she said you were never equals, Lan, she meant she was never equal to you! You're both big dummies and you need to stop being dummies right now. I did love Tomas, Adeleas, and Verin all being like "use your words, guys. could you please just actually use your words and talk to each other? light, you're both children'. Because, yes.

I imagine that, particularly after the fight with the Fades, she is feeling very helpless. She couldn't save Lan. She couldn't do anything. She had to watch him almost get killed and she was helpless. Oh, but, threatening to force the bond to Alanna, though, so low, Moiraine. So low. It was low in the books, too, but had the extra vicious twist here of being an active threat. Sure, it's understandable, she wasn't going to let him go off and get himself killed for no reason. She doesn't care if she dies, but she cares very much if he does. FRIENDSHIP IS THE BEST SHIP GUYS! But, still, it's a pretty crummy way to treat him.

• Lan -- bb I'm so sorry your bff is being mean to you. She's just going through some stuff. You should absolutely throw her in a lake again. IJS.

• Verin — fabulous casting. And it was a nice way to introduce her. Making her and Adeleas sisters and sort of compressing that little side quest of Moiraine's.

I don't want this show to be a shot for shot remake of the books. I'd actually hate that. There's a lot in the books that could have been trimmed or condensed. And in a show with finite space, it's absolutely a necessity. So, I find it interesting to see how they introduce things in the show. They seem to be hitting major beats, but sometimes moving around how they happen, or even creating events that maybe weren't in the books, but do the job of explaining something that took 500 pages of description or introspection. Perrin's wife, for example, which gives the character a good reason to be worried he might hurt somebody accidentally. Something beyond "he was big".

Anyway, in the books Moiraine goes to the two sisters to dig through their library. In the show she does the same, but one of the sisters is now Verin, because honestly, why introduce yet another character that you won't really see again when you can use the time to introduce one you will? Same with Alanna/Myrelle — blending them is a smart choice and serves several story beats instead of one.

And the casting, though! I didn't recognize her from her headshot (and I'm terrible with names), but when I heard her voice I knew who she was immediately. Meera Syal is so great. They're doing so amazing with casting. Good job everybody. Really good job.

I also liked Verin's little bit about how oaths have loopholes. They've been cagey about if Moiraine is actually stilled or just cut off. They're kind of acting like actually stilled, but I have to believe the vagueness is intentional. But, if she's been stilled, oaths are broken. Does Moiraine realize that yet, or suspect it?

• Elayne — finally, the Daughter Heir. And she's so freaking adorable, I can't stand it. I don't know what I expected, but her pure, shining cuteness is delightful. She's like season 1 Jemma Simmons (agents of shield) in a fantasy world. "You're my subject! Let's be best friends forever! I've made novice-cell hooch under my bed!" Heh.

I love her. I love that she took the stripes for whoever let her bring in her servants, I love that she stayed with Egwene in the room with the arches, I love that she's got a lot of understanding and even patience for the people around her. She's a good egg, that Elayne.

MILD BOOK SPOILER I told my roommate (who's only read a couple of the books and didn't like them at all) that there's a whole circus side quest in the books and she immediately said, "it was Elayne's idea, wasn't it?" Heh. Oh please, please keep this in the show. I beg whoever needs to be begged.

• Selene — Excellent casting again. I thought she'd be more difficult for me to buy into, but no, I get it.

Does Rand not think to ask how she gets him into a party full of nobility? Or is he just so hyperfixated on getting Logain his wine it doesn't occur to him? Yes, sure, she distracts him with sexy times, too. And, okay, Rand isn't always the most observant knife in the drawer, bless him, but still. Rand, you dummy.

I do hope we get the flicker worlds in some manner. Perhaps when Rand takes himself off to his next location.

• Logain — Nice, I like this choice. He's too good to put on the shelf for a whole season or two anyway. Better than having him mope in the Tower, besides. This was one of those scenes were my roommate asked if this was in the books and I said no, but after I stopped to think a second, I had to say that it kind of is. It's different, but hits points from the books.

Interesting he still thinks he might be the Dragon. Again, really nice to see character building outwards, even in little details, like the wine. There's not enough of that for secondary characters in the books. Of course, there's 9 million characters in the books, so that's less a complaint and more an observation.

• The Old Sword Master — I like this too. There was no way to really have Rand cool his heels in Fal Dara for long enough to have Lan teach him the sword. This is a good way to do it, and his time with the man speaks to Rand's compassion and gentleness.

• Rand — overall we're easing into his story. I don't have much to say extra. Pleased to see the red coat, obviously. Pleased to seem him get his first, very confused, taste of the Game. He might be a little thick, but he's trying his best, okay?

• Egwene — very into building her own character! Loving the chores! Probably not much different from back home, but the promise of doing Greater Things as an Aes Sedai. Not super a lot to say yet. As far as the Tower concerns, the first three eps were very much about Nynaeve. Oh, did enjoy that tiny taste of foreshadowing. Also enjoyed the look on her face when Elayne said Egwene was her subject.

• Nynaeve — a joy and a delight as ever. I love her and I don't care who knows it. Is she abrasive? Yes. Contrary? You bet. Ready to punch, kick, stab, and/or destroy at any given moment for any given reason? Absolutely. She's great.

Her accepted test was more brutal than I was expecting. The first two were understandable, but the last one, when she comes back and still has her hands up as if carrying her child? Man, harsh.

And, she's going to be sooo furious next time she sees Alanna. I can't wait.

Very curious as to what Liandrin has planned for her. I mean, I can guess, but I won't spoil anything here, and this is a new direction. Thrilled to not know about this as well.

• Perrin — he's always kind of been the least interesting of the Emond's Fielders to me. Sorry, guy. He has his moments, sure, but mostly in the books I find him just an awful lot of introspection and 'refusal of the call' to the point that it's all very circular and boring.

Giving him the visions as they track the dark friends is a nice twist. It's unclear if it's a wolf thing or a ta'veren thing. Like I don't think Elyas is having visions exactly like Perrin's, more that he can smell what happened. Like Hurin did. I loved Hurin but I get using Elyas instead. There's only so much room for so many characters, and Elyas has a purpose for Perrin, more than Hurin did.

Also liked Ishamael giving Perrin a real reason to fear the wolves. Spared 1000 pages of Perrin tortured introspection! Hurrah!

Fade on the door! Fade on the door! I forgot about that until that bit. That was awesome. Never stop being a creepy fuck, no-spoilers-person-who-nailed-a-Fade-to-a-door.

Things that could have been better:

• I was a little unclear on where Perrin and the Shienarans where and when they reached the coast I was surprised. They could be a little better at establishing locations. I think only the Fore Gate in Cairhien got a chyron. I know amazon has a little map in x-ray but I should need that to figure out where things are happening. I mean, I guess I could have figured it by doing the 'five months gone' math. But still, I shouldn't have to do math.

• I would like, overall, for the ta'veren to start feeling a little more ta'veren-y. Let's start seeing some random ass wtf-ery. They actually seem to have backed off the notion of ta'veren and I'd rather they didn't. That was sort of the point.

Alanna brings it up a little bit, that the Wheel is turning out weapons for the last battle and all, but a weapon is not the same thing as ta'veren. But I suppose it's early, Rand has not yet even begun to really mess with the pattern, so fingers crossed.

• Uno. Like. Come on. I don't even.

• Kind of wanted the Seanchan soldiers to look more buggy. They do look very horrible and terrifying, so there's that. I suppose it's a choice.

Also, it's going to be awfully hard to disguise oneself as a sul'dam, if one were to want to do such a thing.

• I don't really like the damane's pacifiers. I get the point of wanting to visually drive home the point that they've been entirely dehumanized, but I think it just looks stupid.

This is long and I'm sleepy and I guess I've said all the things I wanted to say. For now anyway.

Good start! Welcome back show! I am very pleased.

[bylertruther]

Nah, but the costume designer said they had to hide Noah's arms when they came back after the covid break because he had note muscles.

i'm a will scholar. i know this. i also know that she specifically said:

He’s the youngest of the boys, and he’s grown the most, and matured a lot in this last season, and with the pandemic and with the break in between, you definitely see an age progression, especially in his face, but also in his body, you know? There’s more muscle definition and stuff, so you kind of either need to lean into that or lean away from it, so we hid his arms a little bit just to help hide that.

he grew the most out of the younger cast and they made the conscious decision to hide that, because it's not how they picture will. muscle definition does not automatically make him the terminator and will isn't that much bigger than mike at all. mike still mostly has a larger everything and it'd be more noticeable if finn didn't make him slouch and hunch over so much.

his yellow plaid shirt is baggy. his khakis are baggy in some scenes. even behind the scenes, when he's taken off the yellow plaid, he still doesn't look big and buff. he just looks like any young guy that's in shape. and even then, they still decided to hide all of that and lean away from "buff byers". if will was meant to be "buff" or the kind of guy to have "more muscle definition," then they would've leaned into it like she said. but did they? no. i don't know what more to say that they haven't already lol. it's fanon, not canon.

you will never in your life convince me of buff byers fanon. i've received this anon a million times and my answer is unchanging. will is a fictional character—not noah schnapp. when the stranger things team decides to characterize him like that, then i'll accept it. but until then? miss me with that. i like will as he is.

[kiindr]

Hey I wanted to just kinda share my success story here because I think it's important for people to hear

Trigger warnings for suicidal thoughts, self harm, eating disorder, being young, mild sexual harassment, anti-depressants, anxiety meds, and sedatives, toxic relationships ('romantic' but it was petty and short, so I'd say mostly friendships), and talking about therapy and mental hospitals.

- Just turned 15 recently (Present)

*FIRST YEAR*

- Was 11, in 6th grade, when covid hit hard

- Sister has mild disability in her legs so my family was extremely extremely cautious to not catch the 19 because viruses trigger it

- At this time my thoughts were as follows:

"Emotions make me weak"

"Crying is a sign that I'm not strong and confident"

"If I can just get rid of these god damn emotions I can manipulate and gaslight my way through life and be successful"

- I was so desperate for attention I would seek out negative attention. And not sexual negative attention or doing weird stuff... I mean I would sit in gaming chat rooms and tell people to insult me for hours.

- I didn't know crap about mental health at the time

*SECOND YEAR*

7th grade. 13. My lowest. God, so fucking low.

- Still desperately sought out negative attention. I was the weird girl and the pick-me girl in one. I was convinced that if I just brushed off every insult and wrongdoing to me, I'd be "chill" and "fun"

- Hang out with people that used me as entertainment when they were bored, yelling at me and degrading me and insulting me and the worst part is that I LIKED it because I was just so damn lonely

- Started dating some boy. He was 12 I was 13. We never really talked to each other. We were making out before he ever said he wanted to be my boyfriend.

- Soon he was pushy, and disgusting. He would dry hump me, rut against me, spit into my mouth, squeeze my throat...

- And I never said no. Because I was so scared of losing what I had convinced myself was someone who actually loved me.

- But when I tried to 'lightheartedly' protest, or struggle or try to get out of his grip, he would grab me and pin me down and no matter how much I tried to escape he would just force me not to move and he didn't ever actually penetrate me but dear lord that horny ass 12 year old boy had boners more often than not. I didn't tell anyone bc I was scared that they'd be mad that I didn't tell them sooner.

- Also went through a huge identity crisis. It wasn't because I was trans, it was because I wasn't allowing myself to be me so I didn't feel like ME and so I turned to the easy thing. At one point I was "Demiaro pan genderfluid trigender"... I'm just a cis lesbian though.

- My thoughts at this time are as follows:

"Oh."

"I don't care."

"Eh"

"It is what it is"

"I want to sleep"

"I wish I was sleeping right now"

"I can't be here, I have to go"

*SECOND PART OF SECOND YEAR, WORST TIME OF MY LIFE*

- I hate my body. I dont eat all day long. I don't eat lunch at school and told my friends I prefer to eat at home and at home told them the opposite.

- I can't take it one day and I cut myself with a dull old xacto knife.

-It's addictive. I've been punching myself for ages, but cutting is completely different. It made me feel like everything would be okay... for a few seconds... and then I'd look down and all there would be is blood and a rusty blade and a mark that will never be erased.

- I begin to feel suicidal. I think about how much easier it would be to just not exist. I sleep 24/7 so I dont have to be conscious

- I begin to throw up all my food to try to be skinnier

- I progress, I'm fantasizing about killing myself and I'm writing out 3rd person blurbs of me doing it. I drew it too. It was all that consumed my thoughts. It wasn't long until I couldnt trust myself at all to be alone for a minute.

- Living is just so hard. I couldn't describe it then, and I can't describe it now. There are simply no words that will begin to encompass the sheer delusional, wrenching, miserable agony of what that low low feels like. I am positively amazed at 13 year old me for every day she woke up and lived.

- Im missing 1-2 days of school every week. My grades drop, hard

- We try a new anxiety med with my therapist that is known to potentially cause suicidal thoughts. I see it as my chance

- In a month my parents are checking in with me, making sure I don't feel suicidal

- I kindly inform them that I, in fact, am. Very.

- I sleep in their bed at night. I silently get in and we turn the lights out and we all silently cry ourselves to sleep every night.

- I come foward about everything

- We switch meds, I'm getting treated for not OCD but now depression and the likes

- The biggest thing in my life was recovering. Every day I worked SO fucking hard to recover. Every time I opened my eyes in the morning, or put on clean clothes or went to school or took a shower or said hello to someone or finished my homework or ate something was a MASSIVE battle. It was so tiring. I was SO tired.

*THIRD YEAR*

- Over the summer, I'm able to continue to work on myself without worrying about school, it helps a ton.

-Come the school year I'm 6 months free of self harm, no longer suicidal, and eating healthy and balanced meals. I'm into fitness, as running became my coping mechanism for self harm urges (Because running is horrible 💀). I'm going to school almost all days and I'm dropping friends that were bad for me and open myself to new friends.

- It's still hard, I still struggle with my OCD and severe social anxiety, but the depression is so so much better.

- My birthday comes. I'm turning 14. It was so amazing... I was excited for it.

I was EXCITED FOR IT.

I CARED.

I was excited to see my family and I was excited to have a yummy dinner and I was excited to open Presents! I didn't feel like a burden or like gifts for me was a waste of money and my party a waste of time.

This happens at Christmas too. It's so hopeful for me.

- I dunk back into depression towards the end of the school year but resurface a few weeks into summer even better

- We take month long vacation where me and my lil sis have full access to the city and everything while my parents work in our camper. This was so impactful on my social anxiety. I was empowered by my independence.

*NOW*

- I've learned to set boundaries

- I have a healthy friend group with wonderful communication

- I feel HAPPY at least once every day (!) and I let myself cry and it feels so good to let it out and I let myself be sad or angry or dissapointed

- Im not afraid to ask for what I need (Okay well I'm afraid but I've learned to cope with that fear and do it anyway). People like me BETTER when I just ASK for water when I'm thirsty, or I just ask if I'm allowed to use their TV, or I just ask for some milk because Asian food is too powerful for me (😔).

- I have learned how to NOT give advice and just listen. I can hear someone's problems and not want to fix them.

- I have learned what I can and cannot control

So, in summary, I was just in the PITS and I am in awe of myself for my recovery but I am BETTER now. I feel GOOD.

The biggest piece of advice I have to anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts is to think about how PROUD future you will be of you for every day you hold on. Future you will try to give you hugs and comfort and they cant... not until you reach them. Future you is watching from above and sees your path to recovery but in the thick of it you can't see it. Future you is counting on you. Don't let them down. Just, hold on. They deserve a chance right?

(I'm sure this is littered with typos so I'm sorry about that, I don't have the energy to check right now, it's kinda late and I have to get up early)

♡

i love this!

i am so proud of you!

<3

[steamedtangerine]

A confirmation!

I started my Tumblr blog nearly 6 years ago (before the terrible cataclysm known by the refugees dwelling in the outer hills as THE BAN), and I did not hide the fact I posted NSFW content among the quirky, squinky stuff I had to share (so, if there are any under 18 hormone larvae lurking my account, I must ask you politely to POUND SAND! Beat it! Go play stickball or rob a bank or something equally productive.).

The close of 2018 cast a terrible shroud over Tumblr. For the year and half time I was on here (so far-not including the years I randomly lurked and kept holding the site up to different viewable angles to get a better grasp of what I was witnessing-I mean, I only became computer interactive back in 2010), I never once saw anything illegal. I did report one account claiming to be from Eastern Europe (that was reblogging my Silent Hill posts), that kept posting images of a shirtless boy that he claimed would come to his house to “have some fun”.

Nudity was being allowed on Pinterest and Flickr, and yet, no talk of Fosta Sesta was being applied to them. Could this be that Tumblr was purchased by the conservative corporation Verizon (home to Trump picks Ajit Pai and William Barr) in an attempt to squash the unanimous talk of Net Neutrality  that Tumblr championed (remember when that was a very BIG topic here on Tumblr?) by chasing off all us deviants who also picked on Trump and Kavanaugh and killer cops?....so, they thought.

Many of us persevered. We endured Rittenhouse trolls (oddly enough, only during the trial and no time before when the impact of the ugly murderous matter was fresh in the public’s mind), the insurrection, and Russian trolls trying to steer folks away from supporting sanctions. Pornbots still lingered in an attempt to frame smut alongside with RW politics (a complete abstraction from the years of Al Goldstein  and Larry Flynt), despite the fact that many archived accounts on Tumbex showed that many smut-loving accounts with a good eye for iconic and ironic content also were very left-leaning with every political matter that developed.

The issue of “Tumblr alternatives” came up (the point of this post), and many of them seemed too good to be true. One promised a well-moderated “Tumblr alternative” that would not allow Nazis. It was NewTumbl.

 After waiting to see if it endured, I set up an NT account before COVID. I already noticed it was a far cry from the pre-ban Tumblr: hentai was very absent, any of the usual Devainart fare that dominated pre-ban Tumblr (with fetishes ranging from furries to inflation to morphs, etc.) was nonexistent, noone was identifying actresses/models/performers, hashtags were scant, there was no creative or abstract use of images or gifs that had a self-conscious ironic take on smut in general, social interaction was nil, vintage was scant, original content died on the vine, even established accounts like the famous retro-fucking gave up after four months.

What was on the site was a lot of cruddy porn....bad, bad, bad stuff. Ugly, geriatric amateurs and people screeching “Gooner/sissy/”reblog if you....’” nonsense. There were also a lot of highly unimaginative caption posts and really bad incest fantasies. It seemed like someone wanted to troll the site....but even the usual telltale signs of 4Chan’s influence was absent from this swamp. The whole site seemed artificial and very removed from anything legitimately erotic online.

Yet, I tried to push on. My account was naturally above board. I posted vintage, ethnic, celebs, interracial, some gay, size fun, punk, public....but most of all, I did my research and made sure to list names of actresses/models (I learned the hard way, that even legit celebrities featured in mainstream movies and publications does not mean that they were “legit” at the time-that’s why it’s good to research between sites like VEF, namethatpornstar, Reddit, etc.-so, DO THE RESEARCH!) and hashtag things)....all this along with my goofy gifs, political posts, Steamables, and slack-driven content-which all pretty much was DOA from the getgo there. I was getting over five blank accounts following me daily (Dean-the supposed creator of NT-told folks not to block blank accounts, which was....odd). I noticed that the front page of NT defaulted to BS boomer MAGA crap. In fact, a lot of the RW crap on there was supported by the same insular fake crowd. Then I started noticing reposts....fake RW accounts would take rare content from me and others to pad their crap set-ups.

It got worse.

I started seeing material of questionable content. If it wasn’t straight-up “88″ Nazi shit, it was heavy drug use (ie. “slam”), bestiality, or it was gratuitous race-subjugation blogs (something absent even from pre-ban Tumblr). Then I started seeing models who seemed way too young. I started to report them; then such account activity disappeared. I thought it was just an ugly wave of some agency trying to shutdown the site.....buuuut they came back later...even heavier. Certain legit blogs were calling out the problem. I took to reporting more and more accounts, and I got the feeling that some blogs that were sent in to exclusively “follow me” were throwaways testing to see if I would report their underage content and single me out as a whistle-blower. I considered getting off the platform.....but before I could, I was banned.....never given a definite reason why....just removed permanently. No appeal. Nothing.

In the aftermath, II found at least three posts on Reddit with lots of users complaining explicitly in consistent detail the very same thing that happened to them. They were legit, longterm accounts that never posted underage content, and they had gay material and/or frequently reported the bad stuff (Nazis, pedos, etc.) flooding in. We all brainstormed on what was the gross angle of that site, and why the pedo crap persisted, despite the reportings, and we were the ones getting the boot.

Wanting to shake out that pebble in my shoe, I decided to open another NT account under a different email. Anything I did there is gone. All hastags I had are gone. I found many accounts I trusted are gone. I found Askthecrankyfairy was still around, but his last three posts for April are odd. In the first was one listing accounts that went MIA....many of them LGBT contributors. The last two laid out in full detail what had been going on at NT since October. Basically they were an appeal for any remaining folks to leave that site for good. They outlined everything from the issue with reposts to the failed reporting of underage crap to the removal of legit accounts to the MAGA dominating front page to the Nazi crap.

Yet, the most suspicious fact to surface is how some folks tried to be moderators to remove the bad stuff, and they were denied. The very accounts that were designated by staff as moderators were posting the very bad illegal stuff that banned accounts had reported (as many found out). Basically, the foxes (or pedobears) took over the security of the henhouse and were wrecking it with their garbage!!

BOTTOM LINE: I take it as a great honor to have been removed from such a horrible shitsite as NewTumbl.

....it’s just a shame there was never a decent “alternative” to Tumblr, and now that Imgur has removed NSFW content and Tumbex is having issues (again), there is a concern of where to find a decent image host site and what the landscape of NSFW material might be in the next few years. One thing is for sure, any loss to NewTumbl will go unnoticed, have zero impact on the world, and would be for the overall best.