#covering all my bases here bc idk how tagging works LOL

[venteii]

Happy Halloween! finished my yearly halloweenhound redraw ft. my face headcanon for them, which was meant to be simple but then i,,, kinda got carried away lol

[chilly-out-here]

an attempt

let's see if this works! hopefully by not tagging this it doesn't get recommended to anyone since. I feel like it reads as fucking insane without context (honestly even with context). but just in case if you're not reading the fic and somehow still ended up here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52369693/chapters/132478987

and before I say anything I’d like to first shout out this tumblr post for letting me link this in the chapter notes in the first place bc I Would Not Have figured it out myself:  https://www.tumblr.com/gentrychild/653404474056081408/ao3-how-to-insert-imageslinks-into-the-notes-of# 

so!! Milgram The Musical!! there’s a couple key parts to how I imagine the tech for this thing to work. I don’t know all the details for the format of the show (frankly it doesn’t matter a ton lol), but I’m imagining it to be like. for each prisoner, there’s interrogation (basically like their VDs, except on stage), then blackout for quick scene transition, and then they sing their song. then blackout and they move on to the next prisoner and rinse and repeat. except for 010 who Causes Problems, which would be the climax of the musical and leads into the theoretical resolution.

so yea! I figure there’s probably 12 songs? one for each prisoner, plus two group numbers at the beginning and end (Undercover ft. the prisoners singing their parts, plus an unspecified ending song lol). there’s only one trial bc that would be PLENTY enough content for a musical already, so the songs are probably some fusion of the t1 and t2 (and t3 when that comes out?) songs. idk the specifics of that don’t really matter. also just, note, none of the prisoners have names in the show bc even I have my limits lmao. so if I’m talking about the characters in the musical I refer to them by their number, if I’m talking about the characters in the fic they get their names.

but anyway the important thing is! I think the main tech objective for the show is to make sure the visuals and sound of every prisoner’s song feels distinct, both from the other songs and from the interrogation scenes. the secondary objective is that the songs should feel kinda surreal; they take place in the prisoner’s minds, so they should be very separate from “reality” (in quotes bc what even is Milgram). so most of my planning was done with that in mind :)

DECK:

okay. so! most of the show’s tech is probably lighting/projection-based to accomplish all the different tones and aesthetic shifts, but there are some fun little things with the deck too, not least of which being the y’know!! rotating disc!! à la Les Mis or Hamilton. I think it’d at least be super cool for Undercover and 010’s song (which has some Deep Cover stuff fs), and definitely in other places too because the songs are all kinda wild lol. I found this tutorial and, in my humble opinion, Kazui and Hinako are indeed insane enough as directors to want this, and Kotoko and Kazui are indeed insane enough to build this: http://theaterdad.blogspot.com/2011/06/how-to-make-revolving-stage.html?m=1 

in terms of physical set pieces, there’s of course the interrogation table and chairs, which comes on for every interrogation and comes off after every “sing your sins.” there’s also the Warden’s chair (whatever the fuck Es is sitting on at the beginning of Undercover), and maybe some bonus pieces for the prisoners’ songs? like possibly school desks for 004, hospital bed for 005, round table for 010, that sort of stuff.

SOUND:

I don’t know a whole ton about sound, but I imagine Yuno’s trying to set it up so that the interrogation scenes feel like you’re watching two characters from the outside, and the songs feel like you’re immersed inside the character’s head (since yknow,,, that’s kinda the central conceit of the show lol). I’m envisioning that she’s gonna have the interrogation dialogue sound like it’s mostly coming from the stage (so like, the closer to the stage a speaker is, the louder it is), and the music sound like it’s kinda coming from everywhere at once (so all the speakers are similar volume). so that’s why she’s doing a ton of repatching to get the individual speaker control she wants to create that illusion. overall I think she’s just trying to have fun with the whole thing which. as she should!!

PROJECTION:

so!! like I said earlier a big goal for the tech of this show is to make everything feel distinct, and the projection would be a GIANT part of that. I’ve only worked one show with projection in it but there’s so many frickin possibilities you can do with it so,, here we go!

first of all—the INTERROGATIONS. most theaters have stage monitors (basically just security cameras pointed at the stage from the house, which can be viewed in dressing rooms so actors know where they are in the show and can keep track of their  entrances). and I think it’d be really cool to also project that in the background in real-time as the interrogation scenes are happening (probably in black and white). partly to just make those scenes a bit more visually interesting, and partly bc I think it would severely fit the aesthetic?? plus that way, except during the blackouts, the projection won’t disappear and reappear as much, which I think would look cleaner and more cohesive.

BUT still very distinct!! bc in contrast to the camera vibes in the interrogations, the songs have their own cool colorful background art and visuals and fuckinnn stock footage projected!! whatever fits the vibe lmao. I think Haruka basically Goes Off—like the designer roles were decided for the show before they went on break, so he’s been working on this for months. each song’s visuals have their own style and color palette (yknow,, like how Milgram MVs work lol).

I’m gonna go on a whole separate rant about lighting but projection-wise:

001’s visuals mostly resemble the Weakness MV—so very colorful and very much drawn with nice smooth water/bubble animations, but also plus some of the edgy writing and glitchy stuff in All Knowing and All Agony. I think Haruka does project (haha,, pun) a little bit onto 001 (wow I can’t imagine why), so the art for that song hITS. 

002’s aesthetic is probably closest to Umbilical with like. pink void, balloons, the DNA staircases (possibly Haruka’s first venture into 3D modeling? which he uses later for Undercover and stuff), and the photographs (provided by the actress), but I really like the water ripples from Tear Drop so there’s some of that in there too. 

003 is most like Bring It On with all the video game aesthetic glitchy stuff going on, except add in a bit of spray paint imagery bc I think that’s really cool. 

004 is probably mostly It’s Not My Fault? I mean BUGS,, and honey and stuff. some classroom things like in After Pain (specifically the chalkboard has some stuff on it?) and a few real-life shots, but a lot of weird bug things yknow. 

005 is mainly Throw Down for all the flower symbolism (this is where flower stock footage comes in lmao), plus elements from Triage like the hospital bed, heart monitor, and of course the many many surgery receipts. 

006 is based mostly on This Is How To Be In Love With You (magazine vibes, again photos provided by the actress), but with a bit of the angsty stuff in I Love You (the fucked up carousel is good shit). 

007. is. interesting. since half and Cat are so different it’s a little hard to picture how the combined version would work (current idea is it starts slow and ballad-y for like. a couple lines, and then launches into jazzy vibes—perhaps something a bit like Theater by natori (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3rDLizb4sI)). but I’m imagining that 007 is a PERFORMER during his song. by that I mean when it gets jazzy he straight up walks down from the stage into the audience and has a whole Moment prancing around in the house with spotlights (aren’t we glad Fuuta set up the movers??). so my idea for the projection is that it’s mostly abstract and collage-y kinda like the instrumental break in Cat, and it does reflect the instruments (like the dancing saxophone lol), but it’s also got things like the apple, the glass, cigarettes, all the magic trick stuff, and the ring, and occasional cut-ins of irl stock photos of things like the bar. just little hints up there that are easy to miss if you’re focusing on all the Extremely Distracting actor in the audience and crazy dancing collage happening. also, color palette is probably warmer/red-er just to lean into the whole theater thing a bit more.

008!! I love the feltboard look at the end of Magic and I think that’s the main aesthetic the visuals would have, but with occasional cuts to irl photos of disturbing stuff like the taser. kinda like how Purge March does it? I almost feel like it’d be a bit like one of those analog horror things based on kids’ content, where the scary parts are 1) mostly just implied and 2) don’t last long but the juxtaposition is really jarring.

009 my beloved,, I really like the filming/camera vibes from MeMe, so the visuals probably involve a lot of that, and also the trains and glitch effects like in Double. ALSO. the MANNEQUINS. I have a mental image of Haruka sitting there debating what to do for 009, and then he looks up from his desk and sees his little pose reference mannequin and he’s like. Oh Yeah. so he takes pictures of it and photoshops it over/into some stuff, basically just turning it into like a whole mixed media art project thing (like this sort of vibe—Tatsuya Kitani MVs are frickin insane /pos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymtNhd_3CB8). and THEN. TAROT CARDS. after their pokémon battle Yuno lets Haruka borrow them, so he takes photos and uses them too (and uses the mannequins with them). the complicated disjointed mildly unsettling mixed media video collage aesthetic is *chef’s kiss* and I think it’d fit well with 009 and the film look.

010!! home stretch!! I don’t have much to say other than I think it mainly follows the Deep Cover vibes (bc seriously that MV is GORGEOUS), so plenty of chess piece imagery to go around. but also,,, wolves,,, more stock footage lmao. 

and fINALLY!! UNDERCOVER!! very geometric and following the general Milgram aesthetic. definitely the projection design closest to the MV it’s based on. not to spoil anything but there might be a bit more detail on it next chapter? didn’t hear that from me tho ;)

and now!! hilariously short thing to finish this section off. after each prisoner’s song, there’s a blackout for them to exit and for the deck crew to set the interrogation table up for the next scene. during that transition I think it’d be fun if there was a pre-recorded video of them answering some of their interrogation questions as a little sendoff yknow? plus that helps not completely kill the momentum after each song.

LIGHTS:

oh my god. hi. me. HI. this is my SHIT. okay. so. LIGHTS. starting with a fun little aside about LEDs and incandescents—imo incandescent stage lights are the prettiest and most natural looking, buut they’re also less versatile than LEDs (for example, you need physical gels to change the color of incandescents, but a lot of LED light fixtures can have colors changed from the lightboard). there’s pros and cons to both and there’s pros and cons to having a mixed lights grid (currently working in a place with both—I actually like it personally but it is hard to match the colors/tones a lot of the time). most of the theater world is moving towards LEDs in general (partly for convenience, partly as regulations are shifting away from incandescents) but Kazui is a stubborn mf who’s held onto an incandescent grid for THIS long and he’s gonna keep it as long he possibly can lmao. Fuuta convinced him to let him overhaul the whole thing and mix in some LEDs over the summer (mostly a bunch of moving lights), so he’s got a bit of both to work with.

for the Milgram aesthetic, unnatural white LEDs is lowkey the vibe?? I think just a couple white spotlights on the interrogation table would kinda be all they need. Fuuta is definitely getting a shit ton of use out of his movers for that since they can be pointed in good angles as needed. and for UNDERCOVER,,, oh boy he has some FUN with that one. if you program them right white movers make really good searchlight lookin things let me tell you!! I did them for a show recently and they looked AWESOME but I didn’t get to keep them in the final version (“it’s not a light show” which. fair but ok) so I’m vicariously living my mover searchlight dreams through Fuuta <3 and also, the Undercover MV has a ton of cool white spotlight type things going on?? like spotlights pointed through bars which casts cool dramatic shadows. definitely he gets to play around a lot with that :D

and then on the flip side~!! for the prisoner songs!! I think the general lighting for those is mostly done with differently-gelled incandescents, since they just look much prettier and smoother in general. I think the more natural look would also help to make the songs more immersive, especially in comparison to the interrogations—Fuuta’s definitely the type of guy to take something like a hybrid grid and really use it to his advantage to emphasize that contrast in overall feel.

each prisoner song definitely has its own lighting scheme too, which are all set up to look cohesive in conjunction with the projections in each song, so now all those are getting balanced for color and intensity so it looks like it all flows together with the visuals.

001’s general wash color is like a bluish white? so like R#051 (Surprise Pink (it looks mostly white in practice)) plus a bit of blue. not a ton of color bc the projections here are so colorful.

002’s lights are actually probably cooler tones for the most part to contrast with the pink projection. largely based on Tear Drop since the lighting there is super blue and it’s so PRETTY.

003…R#003 Dark Bastard Amber my beloved <3 (nah but fr DBA looks so good on red hair, it’s also kinda golden-ish which I think would look good with the saturated video game color tones on the projection).

for 004 like. literally all of After Pain is so Surprise Pink it’s ridiculous (plus a bit of Dark Bastard Amber for like,, yknow the murder at sunset). I like Surprise Pink for the color contrast with the green honey, might also want to test some purple?

005! I’m thinking of this one gel color that’s a really nice soft light blue, I believe it’s R#60 No Color Blue? again not too much color for the lights here since the projection will have a lot of flowers.

006 is very much a pink wash. probably Surprise Pink mixed and contrasted with a darker purple? I haven’t worked with a ton of purple but it’s a pretty versatile color and I think it could be good for the angsty I Love You type projections.

007 would start in a special light, and then when he goes into the audience that’s all a person with a followspot lol. at that point there’d only be enough light on stage to keep the projection looking natural (very low DBA wash perhaps).

008 is another Surprise Pink-based lights wash without too much color since the visuals would be pretty vibrant on their own, but much darker and bluer for the grimmer projections. I feel like purple would be nice as an undertone for her for some reason?

009 is. interesting. I could see Fuuta having to rack his brain a little for this one (since I’m racking my brain over here lol), but. if I remember correctly No Color Blue plus a tiny tiny bit of Surprise Pink can kinda make a semi-convincing white white? I think that, plus some bright RGB Color Moments in the visuals, could hopefully do the job okay.

010 HI OKAY LET ME LIGHT THIS SONG PLEASE. fuckin BACKLIGHTS DUDE the SATURATED COLORS the PINK?!? THAT is R#039 SKELTON EXOTIC SANGRIA if I’ve EVER fuckin seen it (bro just trust me, the color itself looks hella dark but when there’s light shining through it it’s so VIVID and PRETTY okay I just. yes). that mixed with some kind of really saturated indigo (part of me is even wondering about black lights??) would be so good.

COSTUMES:

okay costumes!! so!! as we have seen Mikoto’s been very busy lol. he’s not the main costume designer but he’s like. assistant costume designer and the guy in charge of Making Stuff (lead craftsperson I think it’s technically called?), which in this case are the prisoner harnesses and the Warden costumes.

costume breakdown! each prisoner has their actual clothes, plus “jumpsuit” (whichever white jacket thing they have), and a harness. everything except the harnesses seems like it could probably just be bought/sourced from somewhere (which is still, I can say from experience, A Lot Of Work lmao,, so the rest of the costume team has been similarly busy). I’ve gone back and forth about whether they should change costumes for their songs, but I think everything’s smoother if they just keep the jumpsuit. 

the exception is 010, who gets to do a quick change in the blackout before her song bc the Deep Cover drip is too good?? her harness and jumpsuit are probably attached somehow to be easy to remove at once. I’m imagining the way it works is that right at the blackout, the actress takes off the jumpsuit/harness setup, Mikoto goes on with deck crew for the scene transition with the coat, hat, and gloves (not enough time for a pants change so let’s just say she’s already wearing black pants and combat boots). he helps her get those on (let me tell you gloves are hARD in quick changes) and then he walks off with the jumpsuit/harness.

and finally the Warden! so Mikoto’s in charge of making the cape and the hat, and everything else can probably be sourced and modified as needed. someone’s probably having a lot of fun making the key necklace/props though!

well that was fun!! aren’t we glad I didn’t try to put all this in the notes?? I sure am lmao. the inherent slapdash-ness of the whole thing was kinda freeing actually and I had a blast just Saying Stuff, bc tech for Milgram The Musical has been living in my head rent-free for MONTHS and I’m glad I got to just put it all in words!! maybe I’ll do another one of these in the future if I need it lol. but anyway if you actually read to the end of this then 1) kudos <3 and 2) I hope it was at least moderately interesting, or at least enjoyable!

I don’t really know how to end this so. hope you have a nice day :D

[convexicalcrow]

So I should probably go pluralise the tag I'm using for this bc there isn't just one Vex magic grimoire, there's three. You've all seen the big one, I've posted about that one the most. (and I am STILL waiting for my paints to arrive ty AusPost delays wooo. -_-) But there's two other ones, smaller ones, that are part of this collection.

The big one covers Vex magic in all its forms and styles, and the idea/concept is for it to be mostly written by Pharaoh Cub, but with bits written by Scar as well, along with some illustrations bc who doesn't want an illustrated grimoire amirite? Also I want an excuse to DO art to begin with, so. :D So the canon for this book is that it's being written during season 7.

This one is the potions book, and was actually the first book I started for this project long before it became a project lol. I, like many others, am a notebook hoarder, and I had originally planned to use this one for actual planetary magic rituals and such, but for whatever reason, that never happened because my interest in planetary magic shifted away from needing that kind of thing.

So this book has sat by my monitor, unused and unloved, until I got an interest in potion making that collided with my Cubfan hyperfixation, and my brain decided to use this book for potions instead, both minecraft stuff and witchy stuff, in the same way that the Vex magic grimoire will have, like, cake recipes in it bc why not. :D

The illustration there is meant to be of netherwart, but I haven't got around to finalising that sketch yet. And it's on paper because the thing I drew on the other side I coloured with markers and it bled through quite badly (no you can't see it. XD) so I wanted to cover it up somehow.

In my head, this is like just one of Cub's random potion notebooks, with recipes and formulas and experiements and other things of note. There's no specific place in the timeline where this fits in, it's just there idk. The kind of book that was maybe started ages ago, forgotten about, and then he came back to it later when he had run out of other notebooks to fill perhaps. I feel like I'm gonna have to remind myself how to take lab notes again bc that feels like his style.

bc Scar absolutely does magic based on vibes, whereas Cub has a more experimental style that includes taking notes. That's what I feel anyway. Cub's absolutely going to do crazy stuff, but you'll know what he did and how he did it, whereas Scar's more like, idk it just worked idk how! about everything. XD

This is the newest one, The Book of the Stars. This is why I've been cataloguing the names of the stars in Cub's pyramid. I want to include notes on each of those, as well as including a bunch more stars as well bc I will definitely need them to fill out this thicc boi.

I want to finish the star map first before I decide what kind of information I want to include with each star (and galaxy and nebula and constellation). Also how I want to organise and classify them all. A-Z? Type? Real and then not-real? idk idk idk. Part of me had wanted to include, like, idk lore or something with each one, but I'm not sure that's necessarily the right way to go. idk. We'll see.

This is mostly meant to be a catalogue of stars as opposed to a grimoire, tho there may be some stellar magic information in here too idk yet. But the canon associated with this is that this is where the Evokers take their names from, from the stars listed in this book, to honour the knowledge Cub has taught them about Vex magic and how to use it more effectively. bc humans - players - name things, and once upon a time, the ConVex named a High Priest, and that is the origin of Evokers having names. Vex don't need them bc they are a collective (unless they need to stay in the overworld or are possessing a player, but even then, it is simply a tool and not something that belongs to any individual Vex alone), but Evokers aren't Vex, and are individual enough to take them on bc they all have different skills and talents and ranks amongst the Vex.

(@calcium-rods that's the star you're after <3 hidden in the corner on the eastern wall)

I've also wondered about whether to include the screencaps I took from the pyramid to show the stars and their names like the one above but I suspect that might be better suited to a sideblog type of situation bc printing all those out would go through far too much black ink. DX So we'll see what I do with that.

Also I'm approaching this as a practicing witch, and that's been a very interesting exercise. I love creating magic systems, but I also love writing about witchcraft and magic, and this is such an interesting project for me intellectually as well because it's not just creating new magics and explaining them, but also looking at different mechanics and ways to do magic, and how those blend in with some of the real magic stuff I've been studying, like astrology and stellar magic, planetary magic, and potion making. It's not my aim to be, like, evangelising about these practices through this project and trying to get others into witchcraft. I'm just doing something creative with my interests. It's like how you learn more about your own native language by studying another, right? I'm doing this more for my own mind and seeing these magics in a different context can help me make sense of them for my own work.

Also the current page I'm working on in the grimoire about Scar's glamours is I think going to end up getting quite deep into identity and masks and shapeshifting, and that's a very interesting idea to roll around in my head as much as it is to write fanfic about. bc masks can be used in very interesting ways for magic and shapeshifting, and the ConVex wearing their Vex masks asks a lot of those deep questions about the magic those masks use, and how they deal with identity in spite of the blackouts and possession the masks seem to give them. I'm also on board with the idea that the masks enable shifting into their Vex forms, that it unlocks that magic that they wouldn't otherwise be able to harness.

And so that's a really deep and interesting topic to explore, and to see how Cub and Scar might explain and understand it. bc from the start, I wanted this grimoire to be a conversation between them, as opposed to a dry feeling grimoire with academic-style articles. That's no fun. I want to practice voices, and characterisation, and explore the Vex stuff in a way I don't think I could do with a more prose-based bog-standard fanfiction style. And I get to flex my creative muscles in new ways, and that's very stimulating right now.

Tho i still have no idea how to classify this stuff. Is it fanfic? meta fanfic? something else entirely? idk anymore. I'm just gonna keep working at it and posting my progress and hopefully I'm not the only one who ends up really enjoying following this process. <3

Anyway. I think I've rambled enough for now lol. I have more work to do on this, but the star map work can wait bc migraine lol, so I might do some more mask chat and see where that conversation takes me.

Also, if anyone has advice for how to archive this project properly on tumblr, lemme know? I want to make sure it's all easily found and in one place, but not sure if a separate page on my main or a sideblog is the better way to do that alongside the tag I'm using for updates here. idk what works best for tumblr so, any advice would be much appreciated, ty. <3

[chitsangenthusiast]

fic writer review

tagged by @bisexuallsokka thank you 🧡 🧡 putting my tagging here so @maderilien @dickpuncher420 @marriedzukka @zukoscalzones @babydotcom if any of you are interested!!

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 27! only eight of those were written within the past two years tho lol

2. what's your total ao3 word count? 163,360.....which felt fake bc of the long break between writing so i counted only the recent fics and that's. still 91,749 holy shit lmao

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they? if i'm remembering correctly, then six! (atla, harry potter, that singular fruits basket fic when i was 14, kpop (shh), marvel, mdzs, and atla again lol)

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos? useless facts (clintbucky - and tbh only bc it's a 5yo fic lol)

hold me like you do, cover me in blue (zukka)

hands, knees, please, tangerine (zukka)

get a glimpse of this candy paint (clintbucky - also a 5yo fic lol)

don't go wasting your emotion (sangcheng)

5. do you respond to comments, why or why not? i actually didn't use to, but i do now. i feel like the 'leave a comment' game has changed significantly on ao3 and i like showing my appreciation back now! (oh man i have so many comments i still need to respond to omg)

6. what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? lmfao none. i'm not a huge fan of writing angst-based stories or endings, BUT i guess technically it's the mallrat in me can be considered for this one since chpt 4 did end with some angst (for now!)

7. do you write crossovers? if so, what's the craziest one you've written? i don't write fandom crossovers but i do like writing ridiculous au's, and i would say that the funniest jobs i've given any character was the clintbucky exterminator/locksmith story that never got finished lol (rip)

8. have you ever received hate on a fic? holy shit poor little 13yo kath used to get OBLITERATED for my characterizations lmfaoooo please know that my attempts at writing good characterizations now come from blood, sweat, and (literal) tears

(still salty i never received hate from the sangcheng troll last year tho. they loved to attack me on twitter but NOT my fics??? i feel slighted smh)

(more below! felt it got long!!)

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? l m f a o

anyway keep me humming, keep me going is now the second fic that has a title from beyonce's song 'blow' bc those lyrics have a chokehold on me when i write nsfw!

10. have you ever had a fic stolen? no but i've had specific passages from some really old stuff that was stolen and very obviously rewritten/paraphrased, which is. harder to prove lol

11. have you ever had a fic translated? nothing recent but a few of my old hp fics on ff.net were translated!

but omg the best time it ever happened was a year ago when i found out that not only had a 15yo fic of mine been translated (and credited!), it had also been converted into a beautiful pdf!!! complete with cover art and border art!!!! wasn't even aware it was done bc whoever did it had only done it within the last few years i think, but it was such a wild experience to find it i have the pdf saved on my laptop lol

12. have you ever co-written a fic before? i have not! i don't think i've ever had a dedicated beta either, which probably explains a lot lol

13. what's your all-time fave ship? ALTAIR/MALIK they're not even my first otp (which draco/ron and zukka still go strong, followed by clintbucky) but THEY are the ones that seize my heart like no other ship has done 🧡🧡

14. what's a fic you want to finish but don't think you ever will? the zukka ba sing se/blue spirit poetry fic 😔 which is unfortunate bc i'm still so excited to write it/there's a lot written of it, but chaptered fics are nerve-wracking lol

15. what are your writing strengths? idk if ppl necessarily like it, but i really like my writing style! sure it's obvious i write for fanfic vs anything publishable, but i enjoy that lol

also ppl tell me i'm really good at banter, characterizations, and immersing them in the story, which is wonderful bc i do work really hard on that!

16. what are your writing weaknesses? finding the right words. in general, it's so extremely hard for me in that i don't have much of a mental dictionary/thesaurus i guess. it can be upsetting at times, especially when i know there's a better word or way to phrase the line but just have to let it go. i am simply not one of those people who can come up with big words (or words that are like. normal ones to use when describing smth lol)

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages on a fic? it can be a good touch to the fic! i don't have very strong feelings on it, i suppose

18. what was the first fandom you ever wrote for? atla, tho harry potter is the one that actually survived the period of fic deletion i once went through on ff.net lol

19. what is your favorite fic ever written? everyone is going to know the answer to this one, but hmlyd hands down my actual baby <333 after a 4yr long break from writing, i knocked out 3 fics but it was hmlyd that really got me excited! writing it was a BLAST, my entire heart went into it, and it's one of my fics that i actually do genuinely go back and read frequently bc it makes me so happy lmao

tbh if i hadn't written hmlyd, i probably would've stopped writing for the fandom after hands, knees, please, tangerine and gone back to lurking lmao

(keep me humming, keep me going is a good contender tho. which goes to show that the fastest way to my heart is just inundating myself with tender competitive lovers lmao)

[unironicduncanstan]

Total Drama Music Camp AU - playlist / performance ideas

here she is,,,, the cursed secret texts,,,,, the total drama music camp playlist , along with some short explanations below, cringe city bitch (most of these are just covers that i feel are the closest to the performance Style id imagine for these characters and not necessarily the exact sound but u feel me) also i went back and tagged my previous posts abt this concept with “td music camp au” so if you dont know what the helling fuck im talking abt plz have a gander xoxo

link: youtube .com/playlist?list=PL-bPcaq3ZK2L682RHPauxrsFIPvGJdsiM (space is there so tumblr hopefully doesnt nerf me from the tag 🥺 )

Some Nights - ok so first weeks challenge. i feel like chris would just want them to all collab together on one huge group performance. kinda like on the first day of school when they make you do the ‘get to know you’ tests. idk exactly who would sing what parts tho bc there are so many so let your imagination run wild !!

Hand crushed by a mallet - ok. OKYAY. im a home of sexual. but this is a Cody, Trent, Tyler, Harold and Izzy song. Cody is on vocals (especially the rap in this version shdofsgjsk), Trent is on guitar and some vocals (does some back and forth with him during the rap), Tyler is on drums (and does that one tiny background screamy bit towards the end), Izzy and Harold are joined up on creating the background track and DJing the whole thing. the distortion/choppy part at the end is izzy LIVE going ape on the audio level sliders. its one of the most energetic performances of the whole series and surprises everyone including the group themselves

Misery Business - Duncan on vocals and guitar, Geoff on drums, Trent also on guitar and maybe some backup vocals. you all know i chose that bc i love associating mgk with duncan but. i rly like this idea actually ;;

Paparazzi - ezekiel. idk who the fuck else except maybe justin bc he’d dance that shit to death. i will not apologize thats Him and its fire but you may write and send any formal complaints to my po box. ill roll a blunt with them,

Pom Pom - Lindsay, Heather, Sadie+Katie, and Izzy. Lindsay and Heather are on vocals, sharing the chorus and each getting a solo verse, and ofc izzy does the weird rap part towards the end, and most of the background track. they all thought they were stuck with izzy but izzy is stuck with these preps. Sadie and Katie are on backup vocals, but their role in this one is mostly dancing and adding ✨ stage presence. 

Maps - Trent is on the guitar and male vocals while Courtney is on the female vocals (the ~top two performers~ gotta have a song together eventually right), DJ on drums, Bridgette on piano. Heather, Lindsay, Justin, and Leshawna are dancers bc lbr the dance from the video is pretty good for a group number

CREEPER? AW MAN - ok this one. is kind of a joke but wouldnt it be rly hilarious if cody, ezekiel, and harold did this one mostly for fun and the whole second part with the existential breakdown was just. used with on stage satire to make fun of chris for being old or smth. like would they suffer that week, yes, would it be worth it, Y E S, 

Shatter me - Eva, Courtney, Gwen, Beth. QwQ Eva’s on vocals for the first time and rocks it, Courtney is on violin, Gwen on drums, and Beth uses her instruments to make a background track before the performance so she can do stage tech/DJ stuff. oh also justin should be on this one bc i want. those costumes from t he vi deo, 

Chop suey - Lindsay and Courtney on vocals (LMAOSJFkSF listen. we love contrast queens that stun the crowd), Duncan on guitar, Eva on drums (and a lot of background screaming to help the Vibe Tee Em)

Unwritten - Leshawna and Trent? ik its a weird combo but i think they’d kill this

Shake it - GEOFF LMFAOGHJKgjfdG

White Winter Hymnal - Lindsay as Kirstie, Noah probably as Avi even tho we all know he can’t sing that fuckgin low. and idk my other 3 bros as Cody, Tyler and Ezekiel. truly iconique group

Forget me too - QWQ DUNCAN AND COURTNEY ,,,,,,,,,,,, i dont apoloigze for the second mgk = duncan pick, anyways duncans also on guitar, gwen on drums (there is no love triangle in this au btw. the only reason theyre singing this song is bc of the regular ~tension~ that u see in like tdi but its just for the stage mostly. as soon as the songs over they would hug and cheer abt it)

Simple and Clean - Bridgette on singing, Gwen on piano, DJ on drums, Beth on general stage stuff + creates the backtrack with Bridgette's harmonies overlayed

Mr. Brightside - OWEN ON THE BRASS YES BBY ITS HIS TIME 2 FUCKIENG SHINE, Geoff on drums, Gwen begrudgingly on piano, Noah is on vocals and they have to literally bribe him with everything they HAVE to get him to try and sing this way. and he does it and it aint too shabby but he will never do it again

Domino - Leshawna on vocals (again these choices are all, based on general vibe and style and not necessarily voice, this is a tiny white girl singing,), Tyler on drums, Duncan on guitar. energy to the max babey the speakers are gonna blow the fuck out on this one

Starships - KATIE AND SADIE GET TO BE A MAIN DUO !!! they alternate lines , with courtney on violin, izzy on that synthy backtrack, and justin is involved in this one bc id change just a couple of things abt the music video costumes for these characters but like. [grabby hands] gimme

Bulletproof - ezekiel vibes.....? izzy and harold get to team up again for the backtrack. weird kids only karaoke night

The Wolves And The Ravens - 🥺 a geoff and bridgette songk,,,,, 

Never Enough Praying (Mashup) - Courtney on Praying, Heather on Never Enough, Beth and Izzy end up together on the background stuff and make a rly nice track actually

Gasoline - bitch. you know what im gonna say but duncans on vocals, Tyler on guitar, Geoff on drums, Ezekiels on track

Better not wake the baby - Noah gets to sing a song that actually matches his style a tiny bit better lol, DJ on drums, Trent on guitar, and i feel like beth is the only one with any hope of figuring out the accordion keyboard thing thats in the background

This is Gospel - Gwen on piano and Trent on vocals. really the music video is the most important part for me bc i think a challenge where oyu have to sing a really intense emotional song while chris gets to dump shit down on your head from the ceiling of the stage. sounds perfect,

Wildest Dreams - codys on vocals bc god i am Obsessed with this cover being a bisexuality / coming out song . everybody thinks hes just regular simping and being his usual fuccboi self when he chooses this song till he gets to those Very Intentionally Unchanged Pronouns that he sings a little too enthusiastically hhhshHDSHHHSDH , also DJ on drums and Tyler on guitar

Happier - Bridgette solo ! 

Stay - Courtney on guitar and vocals, Dj and Harold are on the hand drum shit. once again i live for the ‘unlikely group actually works together and rocks it’ stuff. courtney as always has talent and enjoys what she does but harold and dj kind of steal the show with how in sync and energetic they are abt it lmfaodghd

[homosociallyyours]

@velvet-impala tagged me to answer this long set of questions, and bc I love this sort of thing I’m DOING IT! I’ll tag folks here just in case you don’t want to read thru this whole dang thing. But I wanna say: if you want to do this, PLEASE DO IT and tag me so I can see-- I *love* reading responses to stuff like this. But @la-paritalienne @disgruntledkittenface @and-id-marry-larry @calmrry @crinkle-eyed-boo @lightwoodsmagic -- y’all are tagged :) 

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black, but what matters most is how smoothly it writes.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? walkable neighborhood in a city. 3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? would love to learn how to hack into billionaire bank accounts without getting caught so i could redistribute their wealth to a variety of mutual aid funds. :)  4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? no, just milk! unless it’s really shitty/bitter coffee, and then i will take it with a couple sugars or sweetened creamer. 

5. What was your favourite book as a child? probably the Anne of Green Gables books  6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers! i wanna love a bath, but i get bored too fast and i never feel comfortable (where do i put my head? my feet? what do i do when my belly isn’t covered by the water and it gets cold?) so they’re meh. 

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? dryad! i wanna be a tree spirit!

8. Paper or electronic books? paper, i guess. but i do love reading fic electronically, so..

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? used to be my work hoodie. but now i would say this blue striped button down i have OR this one black dress i have with 3/4 sleeves that’s really soft and comfy. 

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? i always meant to start going by Dottie when I got older, but it hasn’t happened yet so it probably won’t by now? but i would never change my name generally speaking. 

more after the cut! 

  11. Who is a mentor to you? i had a co-worker who was really a mentor for me since i got into being a cheesemonger in 2008. he’s been in the industry for a long time and basically recruited me to the job i have/had here. but when i got sick he basically dropped me/hasn’t spoken to me in a long time. let me tell you: it fucking sucks. bc a mentor is a cross between a friend and a colleague and a relative; we jokingly called him my lesbian uncle. and so losing him from my life so completely over something like this is deeply shitty. 

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for?  not now, but before i was sick i would’ve said yes. BUT only bc i think i would be a great Saturday Night Live host (not a cast member! just a one time host with a monologue/skits). So whatever level of fame i needed to get that..

13. Are you a restless sleeper? I have really bad insomnia that means i take at least an hour to fall asleep most nights. Once I’m out, I usually sleep ok, but i do have intense dreams/nightmares that wake me up sometimes. 

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? yeah :/

15. Which element best represents you? earth: the wet dirt and leaves in a forest after rain in particular

16. Who do you want to be closer to? emotionally i’m pretty good i think. physically i wish i could be closer to friends and family in NYC, Seattle area, TN/Atlanta, and Germany

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? the people referenced above. also missing my Grandmomma a lot lately and my mom. 

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. art lessons with my grandmomma. her set of pastels that were all worn down and the heavy paper (black) that she pulled out to work on. she drew a quick portrait of a man, showing me how to create depth in skin tones with blue and green against the softer flesh tones. she didn’t blend it out, the marks all painterly and strong-- her style. i was 10, maybe? 12? so not *early* but it feels like forever ago. 

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? i have no idea? i’ve eaten a lot of weirdish cheeses. i’ve had geoduck? 

20. What are you most thankful for? the amazing friends i’ve gathered into my life along the way, my dad, and my baby dog. 

21. Do you like spicy food? yes, within reason (i don’t get stuff that’s spicy just for the heck of it, like ghost pepper chips or whatever? but when spice is integrated in with other flavors i love it)

22. Have you ever met someone famous? i used to make up stories about meeting famous people that were based on partial truths. i’ve hung out with or met a lot of gay famous people. but the biggest person who comes to mind is Sandra Bernhard. I sold her cheese.  23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? i have over the years. now i sometimes write things down in a paper journal, but mostly go to a really old blogging site where i basically put all my big feelings down in a public but sorta private spot.  

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? depends on my mood.

25. What is your star sign? taurus sun and moon, gemini rising

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? in between...not HARD crunchy, but not soft soggy. 

27. What would you want your legacy to be? would like people to remember that i loved them well and made them feel good/happy when i was around them. and hopefully that it made them feel like being good to others too. 

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? i do, but i’m mostly reading fic these days. i think the thing i read last was Pink Like the Paradise Found, which was FANTASTIC!

29. How do you show someone you love them? i tell them, shower them with physical affection, and do little things for them. also try to remember small details about what they enjoy and then do stuff to make them feel good when they’re down

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? yes, but not too much

31. What are you afraid of? sometimes being along but only when it’s very dark out and i’m in the sads. honestly-- this is some deep internalized ableism but here it is --i’m very afraid of never getting better and not being able to take care of myself or anyone else. 

32. What is your favourite scent? jasmine flowers, pu-er tea, the specific scents of people i love

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? however they’re introduced i guess. maybe because i’m an older person lol

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? i would live in the apartment i had alone (with a guest room). i would hire someone from my community to come help me out sometimes. i would get a weekly grocery delivery from the good quality place. i would have a dog walker. and i would fly home to see my family more than once a year and fly my family out for a visit sometimes. so like. probably the way a lot of ppl live? idk. 

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? ocean

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? get dinner at the thai restaurant down the street a couple times. 

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? yes, lots! 

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? i’m not having kids BUT for the kids in my life, i try to teach them/model the importance of consent and respect for their own bodies as well as other people’s. and i know it said one thing, but alongside that is that i respect and love them for who they are, and that’s something they get to decide. 

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i want a lot of tattoos, but if i could get one tomorrow it would be a cheese themed tattoo with a variety of cheese knives (parm tools, dutch style knife) and a small cheese assortment. or a portrait of my dog

40. What can you hear now? this kinda dumb netflix show that i decided to binge today even tho it’s only kinda meh and my dog snoring just a little. 

41. Where do you feel the safest? when i’m surrounded by friends. 

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my stupid money issues prolly

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? wanna go back to 1977 and live in the girl direction AU i wrote last year, lol.

44. What is your most used emoji? laugh crying emoji or sobbing maybe

45. Describe yourself using one word. colorful

46. What do you regret the most? not sure if this is a thing but i regret not realizing when i got bitten by a tick/got lyme disease the first time, bc maybe i could’ve just taken antibiotics and killed it, and then maybe i wouldn’t be sick? 

47. Last movie you saw? watched the new charlie’s angels the other night

48. Last tv show you watched? this dumb show is called sweet magnolias, and it’s. honestly not terrible! it’s just not my style of show. OH WAIT i take it back, they left it on a really shitty cliffhanger without warning, and that is the one way to make me drop your show/fic HARD unless i like. genuinely love you. so byeeee dumb show, hope you get cancelled

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. saungry: sadness brought on by being hungry, like hangry except oops you’re crying now! example: “fuck i knew i should’ve eaten before calling my best friend, now i miss them and i’m too saungry to figure out what to eat! Guess I’ll have tears for dinner” (almost called it sungry, but the internet thinks that might just mean ‘so hungry’)

did you make it to the end? WOW! devotion. thank you. 

[onstarsandiron]

Band AU Outline

Because where else am I going to put this?

[Lol I made it long, it’s under the readmore]

Scene 1 is Jax is trying to get coffee for his shitty boss and this asshole bumps into him, spills it all over him, and has the goddamn nerve to not stick around. Jax doesn’t know how he feels about the $50 bill casually thrown at him before Asshole runs off

Scene 2 is Robb arriving late to after school rehearsal and smelling faintly like coffee and his stupid brother is there and sneers at him because Eric is sooooo perfect and Eric gets to be the one that plays the violin, the instrument that everyone likes, and Robb is here playing the bass. Well fuck you, Eric, because Robb’s a damn good bass player and he actually likes how it sounds, thank you very much. If he’d gotten stuck with the viola he would have killed himself; he’d literally be second fiddle to Eric.

Scene 3 is Jax on his lunch break talking to Ana about their bassist or something I think? 

Scene 4 is Robb secretly practicing his electric bass in a quiet part of the mansion, like he always does, playing along with youtube videos and learning whatever he feels like

Scene 5 is Jax arriving at the venue and finally feeling the stress of the day wash off a little

Scene 6 is Robb arriving at the venue; he’s got a genuine ticket, but he brought his electric bass to try and say he’s part of the opening act or something and get backstage to try and get an autograph (maybe got dared to get one?) This goes, of course, wrong when the stage runner insists on personally seeing him to the correct dressing room saying they’ve been looking for their goddamn bassist all over the place, where the fuck have you been? and just shoves him in 

Queue: “YOU!” “Me?” Robb studied the other’s face, looking for where he’d know those features from. Suddenly it came to him. Oh. Oh no. Coffee boy. “Oh no,” Rob said, unable to help it, “Me.” 

Robb fucking OWES Jax for that bullshit, he may have payed for replacement coffee, but you can’t pay for replacement dignity, and that was his FAVORITE sweater. What’s that instrument he has? A bass? Fucking good because Barger is a no-show and they’re on in 15. 

Ana’s drums, Di does keyboard and synth, Jax is lead (only) guitar and lead (only) singer -- Di cannot carry a note to save the galaxy and Ana gets too excited and just ends up screaming more than singing (you physically cannot stop her from doing this, mind you, so mostly Jax just doesn’t give her a mic. It helps only so very much. To be fair, it is Ana’s band, so she has a certain right to do whatever she wants) They are the Dossier [Idk if I wanna include Xu and Elara in here yet; if I do, Elara’s a techie and Xu is additional tech support + Social media manager/marketing/gig booking/etc]

Queue the gang tearing up Robb’s pretty boy outfit to get grungier bc if you believe Ana started some kinda new wave bullshit band full of crooners you’re goddamn wrong. They do loud hard rock and you can die made about it. Also Jax applies Robb’s eyeliner and Robb has never had a more intimate moment with an individual without actually touching one another in his life. 

Then there’s the show. Lucky for Robb they’re playing all covers and it’s stuff that he knows. unluckily for Robb, it’s completely different to playing quietly in his tucked away chamber to youtube videos. He makes do, though. 

He’s kind of mouthing along to the words he knows and then he’s singing them quietly and then he’s singing them outright and then Jax notices and somehow there’s now been a mic placed in front of him and he’s become backup vocals now and if he believed in fake things he’d think Jax was actually pleased about this. Wow, performing sure makes your heart beat hard.

Then they’re taking a bow and off the stage before he even knows it. He thinks now he’ll be shooed off, but actually they let him watch the actual concert with them and then there’s like an after party and they let him tag along and actually he has a really good time (He gets that autograph he wanted too lol)

Like a week later he gets a call from Ana -- Di had made him sign a goddamn liability waiver including personal and emergency contact info -- and turns out that Barger skipped town for reasons which are genuinely undisclosed but 99% probably because he has a gambling problem. They need a new bassist. He worked out well in a pinch, does he think he can make practices monday at 7? 

So that’s how Robb starts sneaking around to be in this band and play little gigs here and there and it isn’t the sort of places anyone from his circle would be involved in and it isn’t so big that he’s so very worried about an internet presence (he does “”Shyly”” hide behind his hand when Di tries to get pictures for their social media). Robb like tells his mom he’s doing some extracurricular thing and turns his phone off and pays off his chauffeur to say nothing

There’s probably some cute scenes or clips of outings or something. They go thrift shopping to get Robb some actual stage clothes, they hang out with Ana’s moms, they don’t talk about Jax’s parents ever and don’t mention that Jax pretty much lives with Ana or the rotating cast of personnel through the house, there’s heart-to-hearts, there’s laughs, there’s drama, there’s friendship blossoming, walls breaking, truly incredible stuff

Then comes the inevitable. The day of the Big School Concert is also the day of the big Battle of The Bands or something. It’s some sort of contest where they play some songs and then they play one they were like assigned and they were assigned Space Oddity and one thing is that the judges are really looking for those strings but Di’s synths just aren’t cutting it; they’re timing and intonation just aren’t right. So Robb is like “Okay, you can’t ask any questions, and I’m going to be like on the wire BUT I will be there and I will bring strings. You have to trust me.” 

And then it’s Robb’s concert, and bananas things happen and he gets out of there with the bass and we’re switching back and forth between everyone being antsy and worrying and Robb booking it with this big ass piece of shit on his back and he’s in the back of the car fucking up his $300 suit. Maybe there’s a run-in with Eric? I kinda really want him to show up a little worse for ware for Jax to fuss over. 

And Jax and Ana and Di are like Bass??? Suit???? Hair half slicked back??? Are those LOAFERS??? Is that a BLACK EYE?? [one of the judges later asks the same thing and Robb just replies “We are a grunge band, ma’am]  But there’s no time to fuss! Because he rolls up literally like two minutes from going on stage!

They rush out and they play their song and it’s magical and fucking gay and Di’s going fucking ham on the piano and the whole room is vibing. Then they play a couple more songs or something idk I don’t want to like ruin this emotional high but I do need to justify the electric base being there for the next bit which issss

Di and Ana shove Robb and Jax into the dressing room and they FINALLY make out. And it’s amazing and heavy and full of emotional and physical catharsis and it’s just exactly what everyone -- robb, jax, the reader -- needs. 

And then there’s a knock on the door. Followed by “Robbert, darling, are you in there?” 

And Robb’s blood goes cold. Because of course Eric told his mother. Of course he forgot to turn his phone off. Of course, just as he finally has the things he wants, what he’s been craving for all his life, here comes his mother reminding him of what he is supposed to be. 

“What’s wrong?” Jax asks, “Who’s that?” But Robb can’t bear to say a word. It’ll all become obvious in a minute anyway. All he can do is hope that the sadness on his face shows, for once he wants his stupid face to show his goddamn emotion to the one person, and that Jax will know that’s how he really feels and won’t take this next part too personally. 

His parting words are to hand his electric bass to Jax and say, “Here, can you keep this safe for me? Valerios aren’t supposed to play these sorts of things.” 

And before Jax can say anything Robb turns away and makes his face a mask and replies, “Yes, Mother.” 

The door opens and there stands his mother, graying hair pulled into an elegant bun, still in the dress from the recital. Eric stands there too with his sharp suit, looking as if their tussle had never happened and like he didn’t need to wash blood off his rings. There were also a couple of men in suits, some of his mother’s assistants. One entered unceremoniously and silently took the bass from the room. 

“My dearest, whatever are you here for? I believe we agreed to a dinner at your favorite restaurant for your recital tonight,” it was Eric’s favorite, Robb hated the place, “This event was not on my itinerary.” 

“I apologize for the delay, Mother,” Robb said, as if he’d made them wait five minutes instead of running off across town and surely ruining their evening, “I owed a debt, and as you know that cannot be outstanding.” 

The barest hint of anger flashed over her face; she absolutely hated when he threw Valerio Family Names items back at her. He must have been hanging around with Ana too much, because he found himself relishing in having made her mad. The flash was gone almost before it was there, though, and her face was cool once more. 

“And what, pray tell, did you owe to these... people,” his mother said, eyeing Jax in a way that made Robb so angry he could feel the white hot rage in the center of his chest. But he was a Valerio, and he knew better than to show it like Ana was allowed to. 

“Did you not catch the show, Mother?” Robb asked, protectively stepping between her gaze and Jax and praying that it didn’t show his cards too thoroughly, “They required some strings accompaniment. I lent them some. Our transaction is done, I have no more business here.” 

He had so much more business here. He had results to hear. An after party to go to. Pizza to eat. Jokes to laugh at. A boy to kiss. 

But now all that business is done for. Who wants to hear results for a song played by a liar? Who wants to go to an after party or eat pizza or tell jokes with a Valerio? Who would want to kiss him after seeing who he really is: a spineless wimp who is doomed to live and die by his mother’s whims. This whole arrangement was doomed from the start, and he always knew it. He was just too happy to let himself know that. 

His mother was clearly displeased with him, but what was new? “So I see,” She said at last, “Well then, come along, no need to tarry in this... venue.” 

“Of course, Mother,” Robb said. A cool nothingness washed over him. He knew his lines. He knew his place. This was who he was. 

Robb left the room, not sparing Jax a single look over his shoulder. He told himself it was because his mother would certainly notice, and she would, but really he couldn’t bear to see whatever expression Jax was wearing -- betrayal, shock, anger? It would only break his heart further. 

As he left the room he now saw that Di and Ana were looking on in shock. Apparently they hadn’t stepped too far away. “Hey!” Ana yelled, “What’s going on?” 

“Did you not hear the entire conversation about what’s ‘going on’?” Erik asked, and Robb wanted to punch him again. Apparently Ana wanted to too, because Di instinctively reached to hold her back just as she began forward. 

“And who is this, Robbert?” his mother asked, as if they were at the zoo and she was asking which animal was in this enclosure. It was so hard for Robb to see Ana riled up without getting riled up too. 

“The leader of the band, Mother,” Robb said, carefully not naming her. She was nondescript, hard to track down by description alone. Hopefully more trouble than his mother thought worth it. He never wanted any of this night to come back to hurt the band. 

“Well, as you’ve heard, his debt is payed, so he is leaving. Say goodbye, Robbert.” 

“Goodbye,” Robb said, feeling like a dog, “Thank you for the experience.” That was as close as he could get to what he wanted to say. Thank you for being his friend, for being there for him, for letting him be dumb and clumsy, for a thousand things Ana has done for him. Her and Di and Jax. And all he can say is, “Thank you for the experience.” He makes him sick. 

And like that he turns with his mother and brother, because he is nothing but their dog. A spare for if something goes wrong. An extra to be married off for a good business deal once he’s ripe. That’s all he is and all he will ever be. 

He can hear Ana yelling after them, struggling against Di’s hold. He can picture Di’s face as he struggles between holding Ana back for her own good and letting her go because he knows she’ll at least land a hit. He tries not to picture Jax at all. 

But don’t worry because I hate sad endings but idk exactly what I want to happen but basically a few hours pass and then either Siege or Ana is like “So, when are we going?” and Jax is like “? Going where?” “To break your boyfriend out.” and idk, but it works out in the end. 

[cultofbeatles]

this is like a spaz post bc i have a few things i want to say, and i don't want to make numerous posts on it. so this post will range from what extremely different topics haha. I'll use bulletpoints to make it more easier to follow. 

i was thinking of making posts analyzing the beatles birth charts. always been a big fan of astrology and have been studying it for a while now. i think it’s cool to see how all the planets can affect one persons lifestyle. i'd also like to say that i don't base all my beliefs on astrology; i just think it’s super fun to look into. definitely a cool perspective. and the beatles have some interesting birth charts. this is just something different from what i usually post (memes and answered asks basically lol). i hope some people are interested in that!  

it’s probably quite obvious but when i first made this account i was really only into the beatles. so i didn't notice it. but as i get more into other groups with time i start to realize that there’s just not a lot of content out there for some groups. i think when it comes to classic rock the beatles fandom dominates tumblr haha. i want to make more posts about groups that i like that aren't beatles related. i get that some people follow strictly for beatles content. but i'd like to just widen the posts on my account so that i don't feel like all i have to make is beatles posts. also i’m too lazy to keep up with a sideblog. i still love the beatles and will post about them a lot. just that now i'll have a more mix of bands to post about on here. :)

 i was looking through tags the other day and i just want to say that there’s a few people on here who romanticize baby groupies. by either wishing they were them, praising them for sleeping with way older men, or being genuinely jealous of them. pls stop. i understand that people on here make jokes about being groupies all the time (i've even made a joke once about it in the past on here), but adult groupies were a big part of classic rock culture. groupies are still around today but more discrete about it. groupies aren't just hookups and sex. but baby groupies are underage girls or boys sleeping with adults that should know better. and it just feels gross to know that people wish that for themselves or that people are praising the behavior. it’s not cute that these rockstars would be in relations with young girls, toy with them forever, groom them, and then throw them to the side. i know a lot of baby groupies grew up well and don't regret anything, but that doesn't mean no damage has been done. it just feels wrong to see nothing wrong with the matter. pls don't romanticize baby groupies. 

trigger warning: death. john and george’s death anniversaries are coming up. it’s really sad. john died way before i was born, george died when i was a baby. i never got a chance to know them when they were alive still like i have when paul and ringo. kind of makes me worried for when paul and ringo die. bc i’ve always grown up with the fact of john and george being dead, but i've grown up with knowing paul and ringo were alive. so i think their deaths will hit a lot harder when it happens. i just want to say that if anyone needs someone to talk to about it I'm here for you. there’s gonna be a lot of people shitting on john; there will be a few shitting on george. don't let them make you feel bad for mourning the death of someone. you're allowed to be upset about it. it happens every year. just try to find happiness within those days when they come around <3

okay last thing. i want to make videos so bad. i just kind of need an outlet? i feel like talking to a camera makes me look crazy, but in a way i also think it’s a good stress relief exercise. to just forget about your issues and take a moment to talk and be silly. i posted a youtube link in my bio, but I'm thinking of making a new channel. don't ask why idk. I'll link it when it’s done lol. i want to make classic rock videos in a way. i know for a fact i want to react to all the beatles movies. maybe I could also make little introductions to bands videos on there as well. there’s a lack of stan videos for classic rock bands. i could do makeup videos based on album covers and shit? like why not. I could do videos explaining certain events and educating people on things they didn't know. idk how podcasts work but damn it would be so cool to have one. like i'm not a music expert at all and i’ll never claim to be one. but talking about music is so fun.  i just think it would be a fun thing to do. if any of you have any ideas of things you’d like to see pls let me know! 

okay that’s all! i hope you all have a great weekend and remember to take care of yourselves <3

[chaldeaslunchbox]

My Surprise to You: Roommates!!!

Alrighty, because I am a promise keeper, I will now reveal to you all what my special present to you all is! I really hope you’re not disappointed though! Also this was released a lot later than expected sorry dsdfsfd.

Drumroll please...*dodododododododo noises*

I have been writing a modern, non-magical AU based on Fate/GO though centralized around Arturia Pendragon and Diarmuid Ua Duibhne and I would like to share it with you all! 

Link to my fanfic here: Read Roommates

(Scroll down to the bottom for the instructions on how to read my story and to skip over my introduction that I recommend you still read lol).

I don’t really care for the word fan-fiction (even though that is technically what it is lmao), so let’s just call it a story in general, yes that sounds better. For me, this is in essence a way for me to maintain some casual writing skills and develop a different kind of story given the dearth of non-magic AU’s for Fate esp. with this couple. Plus I like real-world AU’s more bc they give me more opportunity to really develop the world around us through the lens of fictional characters w out the constrains of keeping it in their society. For me it’s a lot more natural and progressive in terms of coming up w content.

So just some background about it, I was first inspired to write this about a year and a half ago after a specific Fate/Zero episode *cough* The End of Honor *cough*.

Though this will be a story involving as many F/GO characters as I can shove into it, overall it will be a rom/com/dram revolving around our favorite Fate poster girl/shister queen (king?) Arturia and Cu’s bad luck lancer prerequisite Diarmuid. 

Honestly, I loved their dynamic in F/Z as they tried so hard to maintain the dignity and respect they believe in while trapped in a game of malicious underhanded moves. I mean, lowkey, Arturia v Diarmuid at the beginning is still one of my favorite fight scenes of all time bc of the action between the hands covering up the real fight in their minds in who can outwit the other first. 

On the other hand, in F/GO, if you look into Diarmuid (Saber)’s dialogue, almost a quarter of the miscellaneous is him asking about the “Kishi-ou” and idk about you dudes but I think that’s super cute shit right there like damn. 

In short: Together, they’re cute as fuck.

Here’s a back-cover drabble of what it’s about:

It was luck meeting the first time, the second time it was fate. 

Arturia Pendragon, over-worked and under-paid, tries her best to thrive in the harsh city light that leaves all who cannot keep up behind. She envisioned dreams, riches, hopes, yet she only got Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in return. It was a rainy night, after the long-hours of overtime when she finally took a chance and stumbled upon Volumen, a quirky Irish Pub owned by a British couple with delicious food cooked by the Japanese.

Diarmuid Ua Duibhne was doing great, of course he was. He felt a bit more refreshed than he had a bit earlier, but then again, that was when the Smirnoff that was doing the thinking, not him. It was only after his drunken stupor that he came to admire the vast cityscape for its infinite ability to let people leave no trace behind, their steps clouded by thousands others in the distance. Yet he still found himself wondering where she had gone, if she was still in city limits, her footprints and shadow masked by the illusory skyscrapers and dreams clouding the bright blue sky. Oh, but now was not the time to be thinking about that, it is time to go; Kayneth is calling for the manager, and he is not a patient man.

OOF doesn’t really explain the title does it? Well, I suggest you read the story and zoom in real close to the first sentence of the drabble and see if you can figure anything out ;).

No trigger warnings or anything except for maybe alcohol? I mean a lot of scenes are set in a pub so I mean??? 

SKIP TO HERE FOR INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO READ:

I’ve moved my fic to fanfiction! I’m too lazy to continue updating via email so here you go!:

Fanfiction.net link:

READ ROOMMATES HERE ON FANFICTION.NET!

I’m now on Ao3! Read there at this link:

READ ROOMMATES HERE ON AO3.ORG!

Lastly: Anything involving Roommates will be tagged w #roommates story so please use this for further reference.

Thank you very much everyone and I hope you all continue to support me! I look forward to great things ahead!

My bbs

[coalessscence]

The Big Mun Questionnaire Thingamajig— answer these questions then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better!

tagged by: @patiencetaught !! thank u sm my babe! tagging: UHHH ok imma try my best here, @zerotoherc, @gentlegently, @dvstv, @infcrtunii, @gvtshct, @skepticspooked, @skepticreal, @kradljivac, @bruadcr, @prctextlve, @amourfugitif, @keepgcing, @17escapes, @scaredvicious, @surrepo-iuvenisdomina, @withhclding, @femmeveined, @dyingthing, @thriceflamed, @axisii I THINK THATS 2O OF U and uhhhh whoever else wants to ???

nicknames: none that i know of?

zodiac: libra

height: 5′ 2

time: 9:24 a.m.

favourite band / artist: it’s hard for me to have just One (1) fave but if forced to arbitrarily make a choice i will say currently working fave is a toss up between panic! at the disco and marina & the diamonds, all time fave regardless of the fact that they are not together anymore is triumph, and/or rik emmet as a solo artist after triumph broke up, even though he’s now getting ready to retire

song stuck in my head: literally was humming “fuck up” by shane dawson all last night and this morning. i am currently listening to twtltrtd (its a panic album that has a long ass name dw abt it lol) so technically its not in my head rn but im sure it will be later.

last movie i saw: in my psych class we had to watch that movie with all the emotions in the girl’s head that the “do you ever wonder what is going on inside someone’s head” meme is from what is it called akdhffhg UPDATE: after much meme googling the last movie i saw is called inside out

last thing i googled: literally the entire text of the what is going on inside their head meme to find the name of that movie lol but before that, it was ‘sniper elite 3 siwa oasis’ bc i was looking smth up for my dad who was stuck on a level in a video game lol

other blogs: i no longer have any other rp blogs, just this one!

do i get asks: sometimes i do get memes and sometimes i even get those kindness campaign or similar messages which is hella rad and y’all are a buncha babes ok ily

why did i choose this username: uuuuh so basically i had like, a LOT of single muse blogs and brought them all together to this multi. so the word coalesce was relevant bc to coalesce means “to come together, to form one mass or a whole”. coalescence is like, the verb?? version of that word ??? idk how grammar works but basically thats the other tense of coalesce and it looked pretty so i chose it. then i just added S’s until the url wasn’t taken and here we are lol

following: 709 i need 2 stop

average amount of sleep: like, 5-6????

what i’m wearing: normally i make an effort to display Style and Fashion (tm) but atm i’m in pajamas lol rip i guess

dream job: i rly want to be an entertainer ???? like idk. i wanna have a youtube channel. i wanna get to work on tv somehow, i wanna be on a radio show or podcast, i wanna write a book,  i wanna put out an album and tour on it, i wanna be a model. i wanna build my own career based on doing a lot of different kinds of things that are fun for me to do and even more fun for other people to consume as content/media, but find the common thread in all of those things being my brand??? which sounds literally crazy i know but idk. with the internet doing what the internet has done for everyone i think its more possible now than ever so who knows. but i’m going to school for computer science so idk if that will EVER happen lol

dream trip: i honestly don’t know.... there are places i wanna go, like japan, but idk. i RLY wanna do that thing where you go from one end of the US to the other on the amtrak train with a good friend ??? and just see my own country and stop off in stations in little towns and see what people’s lives there are like ??? i just think that would be really neat. i’d make a video series about it.

favourite food: nearest food. nearest food is favorite food.

play any instruments: kind of sort of guitar/ukulele/piano also does singing count as an instrument? but at the same time god help me i probably sound terrible at all of them in reality so dont bet on it

eye colour: brown

hair colour: just as brown

languages you speak: english, know some very basic basic spanish and i barely know like five words and 2 of the 3 alphabets in japanese (one day when i have time to do things and can spend less time being Stressed & Depressed (tm)  i would like to be halfway fluent in spanish, japanese, korean, and hawaiian. if the resources become available to do so i would love to learn pottawatomie as well, which is the native language of the tribes where i am from, which is a big part of the culture there still (tho there are dwindling native speakers of the language itself and not a lot of resources atm, altho conservation efforts are being made).

most iconic song: im gonna be honest with you, the first thought i had upon reading this was all star, and i cant say im fully committed but im not gonna sit here for twenty minutes analyzing this answer so ????? its all star fight me

random fact: i need to wash my heckin makeup brushes more often bc damn im a Mess

describe yourself as aesthetic things: a pastel pink shirt that reads ‘empty inside’ in fanciful cursive. bright 80s colorblocking covering the void in your soul. white and gold christmas decor that’s still up mid january. a bed that used to be made but was rumpled by sitting on it. getting a hand cramp from taking notes with a glitter gel pen. a collection of handcreams in various airy scents. a heaviness in your bones that you can’t escape from. the fallout from rainbows of makeup smeared onto a desk. paint chipping off where your wrists touch a laptop from overuse. an adorable hair ribbon paired with a leather jacket. the tragedy of emotion. self deprecation that edges into mirth. being self aware of an unhealthy nature. kawaii smeared by the remains of an emo phase that never happened and invaded by the jewel toned velours of modern day culture.

[bijouvert]

.*☆* wanted plots

      x - my goal today is to get some more plots going bc everyone is so nice and i'm loving all of the characters i see so far but i want some more detialed relationships w them. so ya gonna include some plots i want and if any strike your interest slide in my dm's. 

friend stuff

CLOSED - ALLEGRA .*☆ frenemies ; they're friends because lol #squadgoals ?? am i right? but they hoenstly have NOTHING in common other than their mutual friends. they try to do things together on their own, but things are always really awkward and surfaced between the two. i sense some future backstabbing with these two.

CLOSED - CHLOE .*☆ prank partner in crime ; these two are always pranking one another or pranking others together. people on the internet always rave about how hard they ship the friendship because they’ve made endless hilarious videos of them being trolls... think like this 

CLOSED - GRAZIA .*☆ stress b(all)estie ; always there for mae when she needs an open ear and to talk shit. she’s one to usually bottle things up, but not with this one. one of the few who knows about her sexuality, and is always giving her advice bc mae is #messy. 

CLOSED - AXEL .*☆ stoners in crime ; these two are always smoking when they’re together. probably trying other drugs too, but weed always comes first. they smoke then watch silly cartoons or talk about life for hours. 

OPEN .*☆ gym buddies ; working out is harder when you’re alone, so when mae isn’t with her trainer she is with this person. they always post cute gym selfies together on snap and the gram to show off their progress.

OPEN .*☆ staged friendship ; it’s not that they don’t like each other... it’s just that they’re not really friends at the end of the day. these two did a duet together, and in order to raise the attention their song receives, management is constantly staging opportunities for people to buy that they are the best of friends. how about NO.

OPEN .*☆ #same ; also closeted (m or f or nb tbh), mae and this person bond over the simple fact that they both are living lies for the sake of their careers. they come to one another about dealing with the pressure and make things easier for one another. what if one actually came out though??? would the other feel compelled to follow suit or just feel abandoned and slightly jealous?? 

not-so-friendly stuff

OPEN .*☆ enemies!!! ; there’s nothing fake about their hatred towards each other. no one can quite put their finger on what started it all, but these two can’t stand one another. they’ve bad mouthed each other on the internet and in interviews and things are only getting worse between the two. 

OPEN(F) .*☆ the other woman ; mae’s last staged relationship ended with a HUDGE cheating scandal where the male was found going out with another girl in the spotlight. while the relationship was fake, the cheating was very real. mae could really care less about the other woman, but for the sake of the cameras and juicy story she ha to pretend to hate the other. what she hates more is that the media would rather see girls fight over a guy than ban together.  

CLOSED - SMAUEL .*☆ the ex ; this would be the guy who cheated... he didn’t know (still doesn’t) that mae is secretly gay, but he does know that their management forced them into dating a year or so back. he didn’t think she wasn’t attracted to him,  just more so that she was boring as hell. while mae’s feud with the other woman is almost completely staged, her anger towards her ex is real. his actions fucked up her image, and she’ll never forgive him for that. 

CLOSED - MINA .*☆ the real ex ; while mae was dating (read above), he wasn’t the only person messing around behind her back. hey, a girl’s got needs. she and this person secretly had relationships and very real feelings going about where no one could see. mae swore up and down she was falling in love, but ultimately her desperation to stay closeted and not leave her “boyfriend” is what tore them apart. this person couldn’t take the lies and hetero switch flipping on and off any longer. mae holds lots of pain towards this person, because they truly broke her heart.

romantic stuff

OPEN(F) .*☆ unrequited love part i. ; mae has the BIGGEST crush on this person, but they are soooo straight it’s not even funny. it causes mae to be unnecessarily nice and awkward in front of them. think middle school crush type of stuff. 

CLOSED - KALEB .*☆ unrequited love part ii. ; mae is so clueless to the fact that this guy has been feeling her for most of their friendship. she thought things were just platonic, and that he was just a super nice guy. but once he finally spills his guts about his feelings, her preexisting “boyfriend”  may not be the only obstacle in his way. 

OPEN(M) .*☆ pr relationship ;in order to cover up mae’s secret, management has stuck her in yet ANOTHER pr relationship. this time, he knows the secret... well, only because he caught her messing around with a girl. this relationship is a bit more functional and healthy where they can juggle this act they have going on as well as a friendship. 

CLOSED - MARLOWE .*☆ secret love interest ; just wanna see where this goes, completely based off of chemistry.

CLOSED - PHOEBE .*☆ flirtationship ; some girls platonically flirt with their friends, nbd... but this girl may not realize that mae is very serious in the little jokes she makes. 

okay, that’s just a few ideas. i’ll keep adding more to the list where you can also find here as time goes on. hmu to plot or simply like this post if you have other ideas idk (tagging those i said i’d link to this ) @chlloes @reneeeh