#covered in seran wrap

[gl1tchr]

I love that Colson's windows were wet as fuck inside bc Riddler was in the backseat labored breathing for possibly hours because of his fucking clingwrap gjsdkh

[eli-urfav]

"Yk what ticks me off??? when I come home to my house and I look in the counter and see cinnamon buns that my daughter made last night with a note 'don't eat' ARE YOU KIDDING ME WHY CANT I EAT!?? this my house, this is my kitchen counter, these are my cinnamon buns, that's my seran wrap that you used to cover the cinnamon, that's my mamo pad that you used to make the note, that's my pen that used to write 'don't eat'!

IT GETS BETTER.

You open the refrigerator and they got their names on different foods 'this is Sophie's' 'this is keefe's' 'Grady do not eat this!!!' What am I? an animal!?? This is my house I can eat whatever I want , anything under this roof is mine.

YOU GOT THAT!?? When you get your own house ima come to your house, ima eat everything in sight and leave little post its 'LOOK WHAT GRADY ATE'"

-Grady

[gluttonysansgluten]

Ok @consolecadet heres's an un-sourdough-ed sour loaf. I've only tried this once and your mileage may vary, but it came out pretty well and I'll probably make it again.

- 400g water

- 2 1/4 tsp yeast (one packet)

- pinch of sugar

- 100g tapioca starch

- 100g potato starch

- 100g brown rice flour

- 60g sorghum flour

- 40g millet flour (or teff or buckwheat, really whatever)

- 17g psyllium husk powder

- 10g salt

- 1 tbsp each apple cider vinegar, olive oil, and honey

Heat your water up to ~105F and whisk in the yeast and pinch of sugar. Allow to sit until foamy (5-10 min).

Meanwhile, mix all dry ingredients together. Once the yeast is active, add to dry ingredients along with the apple cider vinegar, olive oil, and honey. Mix until fully combined and thickened. Give it a couple kneads for good measure, then cover with seran wrap and allow to rest on the counter ~2hrs. Shape into a boule and place in banneton. Allow to rise in the fridge overnight.

Preheat oven + Dutch oven to 500F. Once preheated, transfer loaf to parchment paper and score. Bake 15 min with the lid on, remove lid and bake 30 min more at 450F. Let cool!

[lunarsilkscreen]

The Virgin Mary

I've raised plenty of eyebrows about my biblical "interpretations" before; but none so much as asking what the definition of "Virgin" means, AND insinuating that Mary was a prostitute.

...at least for a day.

That opening scene in the New Testament; Mary and Joseph could not find an AirBnB to save their life. You know what they did find though? Three "Wise" men.

Let's backtrack a bit; What does a "Virgin" mean? Today we use it to mean "Hasn't ever had sex and therefore isn't defiled or spoiled by other men."

That's not what it means in the Bible. Virgin women in the Bible are both rare and considered holy; but why are they considered "Holy"?

Have you ever stopped to think about this?

It's because they're "Fertile". It'd be what people consider a "Real Woman" or a "Cishet Woman" today.

A "Real Woman" is someone who is after the age of puberty and before the age of menopause, and can give birth.

That's what a "Virgin" used to mean.

Whether or not I wish to be one is another matter entirely.

And today, in the U.S. at least; you can't throw a penny off the empire state building without hitting a woman with a womb.

Not so in other countries; because women aren't considered sacred and holy there anymore. They're considered to be a lower class and subservient.

At least here; all are considered to be equal in the eyes of God. Or at the very least; our constitution.

I don't know if you can say that about your country; who is *probably* so worried about Rape and Abuse you have legislation that requires your women to be wrapped in seran wrap and clothen chains.

Why was this important though? And exactly how many nights at a Motel 6 could $20 and a pack of Marborol lights get you 2000 years ago?

They certainly found a place to stay, but that stay came at a cost; a child born out of wedlock that required a retainer to contact Mary to ensure the baby was properly taken care of before being completely abandoned and disregarded by Herod...

This is rather important because Jesus Christ has to remind people that he was a "Male Child" and that it was his mother who was the "Virgin".

That double-entendre is how we got the definition of Virgin we have today. How was Jesus born if his mother hadn't had sex yet? How was Jesus born if his Mother *wasn't* a Virgin?

Why did Jesus have to remind people he was born Male? I frequently ponder this question. His depictions are always with that bushy beard, yet he had to remind people he was not, in fact, a "Virgin"

Perhaps that's what "Christ" means? "I'm not a Virgin, I'm a Christ".

Around the world there are different depictions of Masculinity and Femininity than we have in our two-gender system.

In China, there are the Manly Men and the Femimen. But; I don't see how they depict their women. I haven't come across the literature without it depicting two kinds of "Men" specifically.

Male Sex Men. Not men as in humans.

With what literature I *have* had access too; it may be that Virgin Women in *that* culture are a defacto third gender. I wonder why that might be.

However; there's a depiction that is in the Bible that many don't really seem to reference or care about. This concept of which of the two parents a child looks *more* like.

The Father, or the Mother?

Son of Man, Son of Woman, Daughter of Man, Daughter of Woman.

Possibly Jesus himself trying to explain why he looks so feminine, despite being a man; "I just look like my mother, not my Dad, it happens. I'm real dammit!"

Why do you think Jesus hung out with criminals and protected prostitutes? Because, he knew what the life was like.

The new testament covers quite a few Mental Health topics not really depicted in the old testament. This was likely his God given path, considering how he frequently battled his own demons, and spoke on the subject.

Denoted as a conversation with the devil himself; hungry enough to turn rocks into bread and eat them. You grind the rocks and/or sand into powder, and add water. Like you would any other grain.

What kind of rocks do you think Jesus considered eating? If he was severely depressed and hungry and lonely in the desert?

He later threw himself off a roof, and was caught by passersby, saved from his own self-sacrifice.

What a life must he have lived to not only know the things he knew; but be able to assist many with their own personal demons?

A miracle worker to the end.

Quite possibly a Trans Woman.

If he existed; why does it seem like fanatics don't really understand his story? Why does it seem like I was the only one who really understood what the Priest was reading out loud, and why did it seem the priest himself didn't understand the words despite reading the phrase aloud;

"Listen to their words, but don't believe them, for they don't know what they mean." - paraphrased.

I've had a helping hand and a lot of tutelage in recent years; so this post isn't particularly my own. I did make it an interesting read though, and it's in line with my own understanding.

However; I'm still anti-church. It's just that I don't get along with particular Jesus-stans who haven't really read the book.

Know what I'm sayin'?

And it saddens me that, to this day, Mecca is vehemently Anti-Queer, just like it was 2000 years ago.

Just like Sodom and Gomorrah. Human Rights violations for days, and despite being so hardcore Sharia Law... Didn't actually stop to understand the fucking book.

They say "You know Palestine and Israel are anti-trans right?" Yeah; so is like 80% of the world. For no real reason except that it's fashionable to do so.

That doesn't mean I don't care about people's souls... That doesn't mean I'm not empathetic. That doesn't mean I don't understand the issue.

It does mean; y'all don't understand me. And you sure as shit don't understand your prophets and your saints and your God damned Messiahs you hold so dear.

You would sooner crucify them all again than to think through your actions carefully. And I would sooner die, than to let you tell me how I don't really exist.

[3rdculturecharacter]

Hey people, it's been a minute.

Let's talk about one of my favourite third culture characters, Amethyst from Steven Universe.

I'm gonna preface this by saying she in one of my top kins and I am so excited to be talking about her.

So the thing about my girl Amethyst, her third cultureness is very... understated... In that isn't not a major plotpoint.

I'm pretty sure this is because Steven already comes with a fair bit of the usual third culture angst and structurally it wouldnt make sense for them to both have the exact same character arc, especially being so close.

And honestly I don't think it's nesserary a bad thing. As much as a third culture character like Spider from Avatar can complement and enrich the narrative by being third culture, a character like Amethyst can do some pretty tangible good by just existing as she is (wich makes sense cuz that's kinda touched on in her character arc)

Her third cultureness isn't egnored: she's unlike the other Cristal Gems in that she's picked up human habits like eating and sleeping, playing video games, watching TV, having human friends, being the first to use phones (as well as being much more culturally American in general).

Her non human side is shown pretty cleverly. She's a gem of course, does and knows alot of gem stuff, but in particular, because she's immortal and doesn't need basically anything to survive, she can be super disregarding of things humans need to make money and live off, or will take them time and energy they don't always have to fix (just like the other Cristal Gems)

Or

This totally feeds into her immaturity, since she didn't develop under the strict culture of Homeworld like all the other gems, but the chill, flowy environment that is beach city. Pair that with the fact of her having basically no physical chalanges while living on earth and you can see how she would develop an "the whole world is my playground" mentality.

Speaking of her development, let's talk about that!

*Proceeds to rant about character design for a while*

Ok so her shapeshisfting powers are super interesting, because as we can gleen from the movie, when she first emerges she copied and shapeshisfted into who or whatever she came across to get her bearings.

(I'm gonna say that's some developmental issue unique to her or maybe all overcooked gems, since we see other quartzes emerge and they don't do that, maybe that's coding for something, not sure).

Her copying is very in character for a third culture kid, and if you look at her formations in order it kinda seems like she's inadvertantly copying the developmental pattern of a human child? (over a much longer time ofc). Then she went through a long pase of partially covering her gem with her shirt and also after a while she gives herself bra straps wich (much like the extra cleavege rose gave herself) she absolutely couldn't have needed, probably copying humans.

Then in future her design speaks volumes! Her top and shoes are that gem-wear seran wrap stuff, ofc with that little unnecessary rip around her gem cuz she gotta. And then those cute frayed jorts with the stars on being so human and organic. It's all really saying, "I'm a bit of both worlds and we all cool with it."

More thoughts on the rip: it could be ripping the gem-wear to say I'm not JUST a gem, highlighting her human side, it could be there to reveal her gem/draw attention to it like "I'm Amethyst, loud and proud", it could be just cuz she really f***** loves ripped clothes. Idc wich any works good 4 her.

It really shows her full journey of self acceptance.

I feel like alot of the emotional pitfalls Amethyst runs into during her character arc are also very relatable to me at least as a third culture person, even if in her case they aren't directly realted.

Feelings of guilt for existing, feelings of not belonging, self isolation, feelings of not being good enough, comparing yourself to others and rebelliousness are all pretty common.

So it makes nothing but sence for her to be quietly third culture.

Also this:

Wich is the lerfect segway into:

My big PSA related rant

This... This will end me. Honestly I'm not even mad about the style rn.

REBECA you could have chosen ANY other Cristal Gem from this one.

The problem here is, I could see a bunch of humans discriminating against Amethyst for whatever reason actually having an impact on her. Amethyst is the ONLY cristal gem who could tangibly be vulnerable to any form of gem racism, garnet and pearl would just pick the haters up and put them back over the fence.

This whole thing is just highlighting how you didn't explore that angle. Not to mention that the whole show established her to be very close to humanity, and then she just turns to the camera and says "wtf, I'm actually nothing like people"? It just feels wrong.

Also you gave my girl the most handfisted one, idk why those two googly eyed toddlers having a detailed understanding of the neuances of racism seems somewhere between unrealistic and straight up bizarre.

(Ok I tell a lie, the guitar dad one was kinda a mess but nobody even remembers that one so whatever)

That aside, this one should have been on Garnet, she is the most detached from humans of the trio (except for pearl, but I think she's better in that classroom scenario), she should have been the one saying "yea, comparing us ist right" and it would have made sence because it's already evident in the show.

Amethyst should have been the one at the playground, she doesn't even have to drop out of the sky, its AMETHYST! she can totally just be hanging there.

They did her so dirty! At the end she even gets pissed off about having to stay longer to fix the thing SHE had a problem with.

Don't get me wrong, ist an invaluable message and Im totally on board but gurl what happened?

Hit the image limit... Gonna make a part 2 and get back on the original point oml

[offslime]

ID: photo of a tray of brownies, with a knife laying inside of it too. there is seran wrap covering it. ID end.

Knife Condemned To Week Inside Saran-Wrapped Brownie Pan

[killedsoft]

｡° ⸻ @oddlies.

It's an interesting sort of revelation to find   dismemberment   so enjoyable. There was something in the method, in the repetitive motion os sawing, snapping, sawing, pulling, and repeating that felt more comforting than any amount of meditation ever could have. At first she was nervous. Could you believe it? Nervous! Even Elizabeth surprised herself sometimes. The nervousness is quick to dissipate into ease as soon as she finds her rhythm, however, and in no time at all is her first victim cut apart, blood only staining the tarp and seran wrap beneath her, covering her.

She turns, lifting herself up to her feet when she's caught off guard and thrown off balance, staggering back at the alarming sight of someone looming over her.

       ❝ Fuck! ❞   Immediate curse as her eyes snap to the figure's, her hands snatching up the saw she'd used moments before, ready to use again if need be.

[zombielovescore]

I have a fruit fly infestation in my house, and I've tried traps with wine and apple cider vinegar to minimal results. So, I pulled out an old gross bubble tea thing I had left in my fridge for a few weeks (I am bad at dealing with garbage - so yes, I know why I have fruit flies ((yay, adhd and depression!))) and covered the opening with seran wrap with little holes poked in it and those fuckers love it.

Gonna catch them all, like fucking pokemon.

[starry-eyed-adam]

hey yall I know this is fiction and it’s turtles so you’re free to reply with what you want but PLEASE keep in mind when going to a bar/club/alcoholic venue:

- keep your drink covered AT ALL TIMES (you can use seran wrap or your hands or one of those Nightcap covers)

- if you have to go anywhere (eg bathroom) always leave it with someone you trust, NEVER take a stranger’s offer to watch/hold your drink

- you can buy tests online to test your drink if it’s been spiked, keep them on hand and DO NOT drink until the test results come back (usually a few minutes, the colored dot will change if it’s been tampered with)

- signs of a spiked drink include cloudiness, sinking ice, unusual smells, a different color, unusual bubbliness

- if you see someone trying to mess with drinks notify the bartender IMMEDIATELY

- if something does happen CALL 911 AND GO TO THE HOSPITAL ASAP.

- NEVER go out alone, always bring friends/family/coworkers, and keep an eye on them too

Hey now, be careful with what you accept at bars

NOT TCEST NOT TCEST NOT TCEST

>two older men approach you

>they're a little sleezy?

>they offer you a drink. you've never seen drinks glow like that

>drink >refuse

[eli-urfav]

"Yk what ticks me off??? when I come home to my cabin and I look in the counter and see churros that my son bought last night with a note 'don't eat' ARE YOU KIDDING ME WHY CANT I EAT!?? this my cabin, this is my kitchen counter, these are my churros, that's my seran wrap that you used to cover the churros, that's my mamo pad that you used to make the note, that's my pen that used to write 'don't eat'!"

-Cassius

[remyr0se]

[They place the dough into an oiled bowl, coat it lightly in some more, and then cover it with some cling/plastic/seran wrap. They're smiling and talking as they do]

I know! Honestly, human anatomy is so interesting. I wish Hatchetfield High offered - shit, cling wrap is such a pain in the ass to tear - offered a course in it, but I've been all over the internet just researching.

I lowkey kinda wanna just open myself up to see if there's anything in there or if it's just a wormhole of some kind. I won't, obviously - I'm curious, not dumb - but I really just wanna put myself under a microscope.

[Remy enters the bakery with a grin on their face, still wearing their backpack from the schoolday]

Heya Miss Ma'am! Are you, uh... still good to teach me?

~ @remyr0se

ooc: please pretend I sent this on time on monday and didn't get busy doing actual homework for college lol

Of course Hun. Go ahead and wash your hands then come on back.

[earthmvrs]

open starter  /  lavender.

  she smiles, face beaming as she extends the plate of cookies out towards the other.  the cookies are placed neatly on a plate, covered in pink tinted seran wrap with a small note card taped to the top, the others name written carefully in cursive.  “these ... these are for  yu -  you !!  i ma-made them last night. they’re white  ch - chocolate  chip with cranberries and  o - oats.  i hope you  luh - like them !!”  

[ratsoh-writes]

By this point, E's eyes are sparkling as she watches it in the mirror. She agrees and lists off the antibiotic lotion and need to keep out of the sun or pool for a while and Orion seems to agree.

"Wow, this is really cool, this is just, wow." Grinning but not great at words, she finds a way to express that it is amazing before gently covering up (they usually put seran wrap on it for the first day so, which allows this lol).

After more awkward complimenting, E at least leaves a very nice tip, about 50% give or take (man I don't know how to translate my tips into G. I always give extra large tips to hair stylists, tattoo artists and other services directly involved with your body because that is the last thing you want done poorly)

"So, what do you think?" E asks Pop. She leaves it a bit open, suggesting she was either asking about the tattoo or the tattoo experience in general.

Pop admires the tattoo with pure adoration.

Pop: it’s super sexy and I mean that in a total platonic and romantic way. It looks great!

Lol what?

[annoyed-galaxy]

Alright so I'm finally ready to reveal something.

Couple months ago I got my second ever tattoo. It's a tattoo I had been wanting for 5 years now ever since I finished Dragon Age: Inquisition. It's the DAI symbol - the sword, eye, and swiggly shit. But when I first got the tattoo I was nervous and didn't communicate very well with my artist. However, the legend she is allowed free touch ups for a year.

So I finally got around to touching it up and now, even as it's healing, I can say I'm extremely happy with how it turned out. And I mean EXTREMELY happy. I changed the color palette and decided to outline the entire thing (originally I wanted the squiggles to be watercolor but it just didn't work out quite as well as I though) which ended up being a good choice. It's still healing hence why the picture you're going to see is covered in seran wrap, fresh out of the shop.

But I found it adorable the progress of this tattoo. I found an old picture from 5 years ago of me attempting to doodle the idea on my arm. So I decided to make a little evolution collage of the tattoo.

Left is the doodle I made when I was 15.

Middle is before the touch up and after two months of healing.

Right is touch up, fresh out of the shop.

I can't wait for this to heal so I can officially show it off, but I have wanted this tattoo for so long and I'm so happy that it looks better now. And getting it overall wasn't a terribly painful process. Until the machine hit sensitive parts that caused my elbow to burn like a motherfucker - because that elbow had been broke in the past before so yaay nerve damage.

I will definitely post pics after it's healed.

[uhzuku]

yesss bread recipe pls, i’d love to see it! :))

alrighty, heres the recipe hehe dhchfhf it got long so im putting it under the cut hehe. also!! sorry t took so long i’ve been writing it out since i got the ask dhfhfh

𝐧𝐞𝐩𝐩𝐲’𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐬 — 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 !!

for the ingredients you’ll need as follows:

three cups or so of sifted all purpose flour ( with an extra half cup or so on the side !! ).

one teaspoon of your preferred salt ( himalayan pink, sea, or ordinary is fine !! ) — if you’d like it a little saltier add another quarter teaspoon !!

a half teaspoon of yeast ( i strongly prefer fleischmann's activedry yeast !! but you can use your own preference ).

as for the wet ingredients, all you’ll need is a cup and a half of lukewarm water — if its any hotter than lukewarm you’ll kill the yeast, so make sure it isn’t hot!!

mix all of the dry ingredients together in a large mixing bowl then mix it with a wooden spoon until its thick and not sticking to the sides. if its still sticky then that’s where you extra half cup flour comes in — sift in a little bit as needed until you get to the correct consistency. if its too dry ad a little more water as you need it — but remember, you can always add more but never take it back. once you do that, cover the bowl with a sheet of seran wrap then leave it out on the counter or table ( the fridge will mess up the consistency or something i don’t know how to explain it — and it’ll add more bubbles ) overnight or, if you do it in the early morning, for eight hours.

after the eight hours have passed/night is over, flour your surface are and dump the dough onto it. by this time it’s sticky again, so don’t be afraid to scoop out the excess and slap it onto the dough lump!!

once the dough’s all been removed from the bowl roll it over so the still sticky side gets coated in flour as well — but DO NOT KNEAD IT. the long rise did all the work for you, so if you knead it it’ll ruin the dough. anyways, leave that to sit for thirty minutes, and while it does so preheat your oven to 450°f then grease your pans with a nonstick spray or crisco ( i prefer crisco, it’s never stuck with crisco ). once your timer for a half hour passes, carefully pop the dough into the greased pans and score 3-4 lines or an x into the top ( be careful doing this, the more you handle the dough the more messed up your loaf could get ) before covering it with aluminium foil and putting it into the oven.

let it bake covered for thirty minutes, then take the aluminium foil off and bake for another fifteen. for larger loaves add ten minutes to the first bake then five to the second.

that’s the recipe + instructions !! once the second bake is done, slice off a piece and slap on some butter ( and grind a little salt on it if you’re feeling fancy ) and enjoy !!

[cozy2000]

very excited for today, gonna wrap myself in seran wrap and cover myself in duct tape to make a body mold