#couples therapy courses online

[lesbiancouplescounseling]

Online Relationship Course for Lesbian Couples

TLC IS A PROVEN RELATIONSHIP COURSE FOR LESBIAN COUPLES THAT WANT MORE CONNECTION AND BETTER COMMUNICATION!

Ready to take your relationship from disconnected, misunderstood, and stuck to reconnected, happy, and alive? You can make your relationship thrive, again, in just 10 weeks!

Or are you in a newish relationship, and you both want to break the old patterns of blah, painful, or failed relationships from your past? By committing to this 10-week course you will create a strong foundation of security so that you’ll have confidence that this one will last!

THIS COURSE IS DESIGNED FOR BUSY COUPLES THAT KNOW THEY NEED EXPERT GUIDANCE TO CREATE THE RELATIONSHIP THEY LONG FOR.

Best of all, TLC is An On-Demand, From Anywhere Relationship Transformation Training Course.

You can be in your pj’s eating popcorn when you work on your relationship! It doesn’t get easier than that.

The TLC Course is for lesbian couples who are BOTH 100% committed to creating a joyful, secure, thriving relationship for good.

Click here to enrolled now.

Is this relationship transformation course right for you and your partner? Keep reading…

Love is a Journey we take together.

If you and your partner find yourselves in need of some help on your own relationship journey, then this is the course for you.

It was carefully designed by an expert Ph.D. level lesbian marriage therapist (Dr. Lynda Spann) with lesbian couples in mind.

This on-demand, available from anywhere course is ideal for busy couples to get the love and relationship training they need without the challenges of scheduling and keeping in-person appointments.

Are you in a lesbian relationship that feels lonely, listless, or on the brink? Is there a part of you that longs to feel cherished and secure in a relationship that’s full of joy, fun and love, again?

This course takes you on a journey of rediscovery and renewal that will have you feeling like the happiest couple in the room. Again.

Are either you or your partner questioning if you’re “right” for each other because your relationship is so bankrupt?

Do you lay awake at night replaying unresolved arguments, feeling alone and misunderstood, or worrying that your relationship is teetering on the edge of a steep cliff?

Hesitant to even let yourself imagine feeling alive and in love with your partner, again?

Yet you’re looking for a thread of hope that you will have a future together that’s full of adventure, nurturance, attention, and the ease of being exquisitely tuned-in to one another.

I hope you can let yourself imagine a relationship that thrives with heartfelt connection, spirited discussions, playful affection, shared goals, and deep vulnerability. True intimacy.

Chances are you mostly feel sad about the distance between the two of you. And you’re exhausted and depleted from the negative cycle that neither of you have been able to stop.

You want nothing more than to stop walking on egg-shells, to feel safe again, and to travel through life with the woman you fell in love with.

Deep inside, you dream of relationship growth and transformation.

If you’re struggling with relationship issues or pain, TLC provides a clear path to relief, reconnection and resolving your problems quickly.

Click here to enrolled now.

You Crave…

Great conversations where you both feel understood, and closer than when you started talking

Easily connecting emotionally, affectionately, and sensually

Knowing that your partner understands, accepts, and adores you

The ease of talking about even tough issues without fighting, blaming, stonewalling, or getting defensive

Balancing closeness and independence

An atmosphere of humor, laughter, and playfulness

To be on the same page about goals and dreams

Looking forward to spending the evening with your partner

A spirit of ongoing friendliness, appreciation, and gratitude

Both of you making your relationship the number one priority

Understanding how to help one another feel soothed and relieved when upset

Knowing, deep in your bones, that nothing can shake your intimate connection

Maybe you’ve searched everywhere for help and can’t find a lesbian who specializes in couples therapy or relationship coaching.

Your search is over!

Are you craving love and reconnection?

The TLC coaching course has been carefully designed to help you get your cravings met!

YOU’RE PROBABLY FRUSTRATED, SAD AND LONELY IF …

Nothing you’ve tried has worked. Even though you’ve been working on this for months or years, not much has changed.

Perhaps you:

Have been avoiding arguments to the point that you’re hardly talking about anything meaningful

Feel hopeless about ever learning how to communicate so that you’ll feel heard and understood

Are tired of juggling life, work, and other responsibilities and barely have time for fun or intimacy anymore

Act more like roommates or business partners— sharing routine and practical chores— but nothing pulls at your heartstrings anymore

Have tried couples therapy, which seemed to briefly help, but things just went back to how they were…and you’re starting to feel that your relationship is beyond repair

Keep reading the latest “communication” tips to solve disagreements, but nothing seems to work long term.

If you’re feeling alone on your journey of love, strapped for time, and don’t know how to repair and rebuild your relationship…but know in your heart you both deserve more… this is the relationship course for you.

Stop settling for a stagnant relationship!

Let’s take this love journey together. So that you can rediscover your passion for each other, again.

THIS TLC ONLINE COURSE IS FOR LESBIAN COUPLES WHO:

Have been together beyond the initial honeymoon stage

Still love each other, but are feeling distressed and disconnected

Are in a newish relationship and want to get it right this time

Want to grow individually and together

Have read self-help books, tried or thought of therapy, dabbled with date nights, and are still not thriving

Want their relationship to grow and are willing to do the work to make that happen

Understand that an investment in their relationship is an investment in their overall well-being

Are unwilling to give up on their relationship without an honest try

Have struggled to make progress on their own and are ready to get help from an expert guide who has spent years discovering the exact steps for a successful journey of love

WHO THE TLC ONLINE COURSE IS NOT FOR:

Heterosexual couples or gay men couples

Lesbian couples hoping for a quick fix or magical bullet and are unwilling to put in the work

Couples where one of you is stuck in the blame game, not taking your share of responsibility in creating change

Lesbian couples who believe they can figure it out on their own

Couples where an ongoing affair, domestic violence, untreated addiction, or mental illness are present

One or both partners are not willing to give their all to the process of creating thriving, lasting love

THE TLC ONLINE COURSE IS A PROVEN LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP TRANSFORMATION TRAINING PROGRAM.

It’s the quickest, most effective way to learn to relate to each other with greater connection, less conflict, and more joy.

With this step-by-step system you won’t fail. Even if you’ve tried therapy before and you’re at a loss for creating lasting relationship growth.

In this TLC course, you’ll discover the path to a thriving intimate partnership with a knowledgeable guide on your side every step of the way.

During the TLC 10-week course you’ll get the tools and skills you need to…

Reconnect with your partner instantly

Become a happy and effective team

Understand each of your relationship dance styles

Stop a fight before it starts

Communicate so you both feel understood

Repair and heal

Embody brave vulnerability and steady curiosity

Grow individually and together

Click here to enrolled now.

TLC is not a flimsy, feel-good class with empty promises. It’s a thoughtfully designed, carefully engineered relationship skill-building system that will help even the most stuck couples succeed.

The reason why?

CLEARLY MAPPED STEP-BY-STEP JOURNEY

It’s like having a relationship GPS at your fingertips. You’ll be guided every step of the way. With each lesson logically flowing from the last.

USER-FRIENDLY TOOLS FOR SUCCESS

Experience immediate results when you have the right tools, tricks, and techniques. And don’t worry, these things are easy to master.

EASE OF AN AT-HOME METHOD

Watch the video lessons on your time-table from the comfort of your home. Then find snippets of time when the two of you can do the workbook exercises together.

MANAGEABLE LESSONS

You won’t be overwhelmed or drained. In fact you’ll be invigorated by the bite-sized training videos that are full of practical steps and skill that will immediately help your relationship take a giant leap forward.

EXPERT GUIDE

Your guide on this journey of love, Dr. Lynda Spann, will help you accelerate your relationship growth and transformation. So that you can be the happiest couple in the room, again.

Lynda is the perfect guide for this exploration. Not because she has a doctorate in Marriage and Family Therapy, but because she’s walked in your shoes. She’s lived through the pain of a failing relationship and has now discovered the map for how to have a joy-filled, secure, and thriving partnership with her wife, Lisa.

Lynda has helped hundreds of couples like you get unstuck and create the relationship that they crave.

TLC WILL HELP YOU TURN YOUR RELATIONSHIP OF LONELINESS, FRUSTRATION, AND HURT INTO ONE OF CONNECTION, JOY, AND SECURITY.

OR IF YOU’RE IN A RELATIVELY NEW RELATIONSHIP, TLC WILL SET YOU UP FOR LONG-TERM SUCCESS FROM THE GET-GO.

WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT FROM THE TLC ONLINE COURSE:

First and foremost, TLC is not a theory class on love.

This is a hands-on, experiential, fun program that delivers real, lasting results. Please don’t mistake our easy system for a temporary band-aid.

In the TLC course, you’ll learn foundational concepts, do fun exercises together, and master new skills and techniques that will lead to massive relationship growth and permanent change.

You’ll start feeling better immediately. And you’ll get to the level of being a thriving couple, fast!

That’s because our TLC course curriculum is designed to be easier, faster, and more effective than traditional, theoretical learning.

The TLC course has been developed and honed over many years. It is a tried, tested, and proven system that delivers consistent, rapid, effective results.

Hoping and praying that things will get better in your relationship hasn’t worked. And therapy is expensive, often inconvenient, and takes a long time.

You’re lucky to have found us and to now know that there’s a better alternative to get your relationship on track to thrive.

This TLC course gives you practical tools and skills you can use right now to easily shift your relationship to the one you’re craving.

BY THE END OF OUR 10 WEEKS YOU’RE MOST IMPORTANT TAKE-AWAYS WILL BE:

Seeing The Gleam In Your Partner’s Eye, Again

Feeling The Joy Of Daily Connection

Becoming A Power-team

Knowing Exactly How To Help Each Other When Triggered

Ninja Communication Skills (That Will Help You Talk About Even The Hard Stuff And Feel Closer)

Confidence For The Journey Ahead

Lot’s And Lot’s Of Fun And Adventure Along The Way!

“This program has given us “us” back, we really do like each other and we really do want to be the best versions of ourselves together as a couple for the many years to come. Without TLC, this would not be possible.” – Former TLC Member

Click here to enrolled now.

WHAT YOU’LL GET WHEN YOU ENROLL IN TLC…

Welcome Packet:

As soon as you enroll in the TLC coaching program, you will receive a welcome email to help you make the most out of the training, and fully prepare for the 10 weeks ahead. It will include:

Access to your Private Membership Site library and course

Strategies on how to cultivate the right mindset to create the relationship of your dreams

Organizational tips to maximize success and get the most out of the program

For 10 weeks, you will receive:

Five practical, effective relationship training modules with video lessons, recorded so you and your partner can have access anytime, for 10 weeks.

Five uniquely designed workbooks, full of exercises, writing prompts, worksheets, and tracking tools so that you and your partner can take your relationship to the next level.

THE FIVE TRAINING MODULES INCLUDE…

MODULE 1: FOUNDATION FOR RADICAL RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS

MODULE 2: BRAIN MATTERS

MODULE 3: ROOTS TO RELIEF

MODULE 4: FIND AND DEFINE YOUR EDGES

MODULE 5: THE A-HA! OF RELATIONSHIP TRANSFORMATION: MAINTAINING EMOTIONAL CONNECTION FOR LIFE

Click here to enrolled now.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS…

How much time can I expect this course to take?

Each week, you’ll have a training module with several short videos for you and your partner to watch. Combined, hey add up to be about one hour of total viewing time per module.

You’ll have a workbook (to work through together) with homework exercises for each module. Homework shouldn’t take more than 1 or 2 hours a week.

My partner doesn’t want to take this course. Can I take it by myself?

The TLC course is designed for couples, with practices for the two of you to do together. If she is resistant, just see if she’s willing to do a 15minute breakthrough session with you and Lynda. Sometimes resistant partners decide to join once they talk to Lynda and see how TLC can benefit them.

Do we both have to pay tuition?

No! Your tuition includes both of you.

What if we buy this program and find out it’s not for us? Will we get a refund? Yes! I offer a 100% 90-day guarantee. As long as you complete the entire program (watch all the videos and complete all of the Workbooks) within 90 days, if you aren’t satisfied with your relationship results, I will refund your entire investment.

I don’t live in the United States…can I participate?

Yes! All you need is to be fluent in English and an internet connection.

Will my insurance pay for this course?

Unfortunately, no. Like gym memberships and other services that promote your well-being, a relationship course is not a service that the health insurance industry has chosen to cover.

Do you offer payment plans?

Yes.

What if I have more questions about the course?

We’d be happy to answer any further questions you may have! Email to get in touch.

If you’re a lesbian couple that’s 100% committed to creating a joyful, secure, thriving relationship and you’re ready for a proven plan to REAL change, this TLC Online Course is for you! Can’t wait to see you inside the TLC Course!

Click here to enrolled now.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi all! Thank you very much for all of your hard work. I've glad for this account since there is always something fun to read popping up. Can the Mods recommend any fics where either Aziraphale or Crowley use dating apps for any reason?

Hello. You'll find fics like this, including some of the fics listed here, on our #social media tag, but here are some dating app specific fics...

Bloggers, Baby! by Estrella3791 (T)

Crowley's a blogger, and he may or may not be developing a crush on his commenters. But he's not really - Oh, what's this? Angel1941 is on Tinder??

Oh, Lord, Heal This Love by WaitingToBeBroken (T)

"Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don't know each other," is what Crowley's dating profile says. Too bad Aziraphale was too busy staring at those graceful fingers in his picture to realise that, before he agreed to go on a date with him.

abide by me by cosmya (T)

The year is 2001. Crowley runs a fake marriage website, and Aziraphale has encountered a... problem that requires his services. Naturally, they have No Idea that it's each other at first, but when Aziraphale proves a difficult client, Crowley takes matters into his own hands.

Dim the Lights and Sing You Songs by Polaris (E)

A few months prior to leaving the Dowling household, Crowley had downloaded Grindr for the sole purpose of catfishing randy morons. He was not expecting a paragraph that began with: ‘hello. I hope you don’t think this is too forward, but I couldn’t help but notice you have the most lovely nipples.’ Crowley keeps trying to meet his Grindr fuckbuddy. Aziraphale keeps showing up at all his meeting spots. This is terrible.

MatchMade! by amaruuk (E)

Crowley tests a new dating app for an online publication. When his match dumps him for another man's match, he and his fellow dumpee take a chance on each other.

With Potential by Caedmon (E)

Aziraphale is an author of popular and successful romance novels. His books have done very well, so he's surprised when his publisher, Gabriel, comes in and tells him that they expect him to start including explicit sex scenes instead of just the fade-to-black he's been writing. Aziraphale argues a bit, but it's pointless. Gabriel isn't asking, he's telling. And now Aziraphale is in a pickle. He doesn't have a wide swath of sexual experience to pull inspiration from. So his assistant, Anathema, helpfully suggests that he download some dating apps and seek someone to hook up with for casual sex. Aziraphale is appalled by the idea of casual sex at first, and thinks that this plan is going to go absolutely nowhere, but agrees to give it a try. Three guesses what happens next.

The Grindr Logo Doesn't Even Have a 'G' In It by indieninja92 (E)

After the Apocalypse, Aziraphale ventures into a new space in the gay milieu - Grindr. There he starts talking to a charming young man who certainly doesn't bear any resemblance at all to a certain long streak of demon, not one bit, no thank you. Meanwhile, Aziraphale and Crowley navigate their friendship after the world failed to end. There is much drinking and silliness, but could it be that there are other feelings lurking underneath?? Of course there are, this is fanfic.

The Mathematical Improbability of Reaching the Stars by cassieoh, D20Owlbear (M)

Aziraphale, 3rd year doctoral candidate in Library Sciences and current failure at Astronomy 101, finds out about an app for meeting people from some undergraduates. He’s desperate for a tutor so he decides to try it out. Surely someone in the wilds of Tinder is willing to help him learn about the stars? Meanwhile, in said wilds of Tinder, Crowley (high school dropout, star enthusiast, and official garden center plant-harasser) is not really looking for anything past dinner and maybe ‘tea’ back at their place. Hijinks, and also a surprisingly intricate plot, ensue.

- Mod D

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for taking pictures of my sister's house and not deleting them?

I (25f) and my adopted sister L (also 25) have grown up together since we were babies and are extremely close. I truly love her and want the best for her.

She has been married for 5 years to D (25m). They dated since they were 18 and got married at 20. I never had an issue with him except at times I thought he was immature. They have a kid together who is adorable and about to turn 3.

However, as they have been married i have an issue with him. I don't hate anyone, but he is highest on my shit list. Not an exhaustive list but he has (and I want to make this clear THESE ARE THINGS I HAVE WITNESSED I AM NOT LISTING THINGS SHE ONLY HAS TOLD ME ABOUT):

Whenever they argue yells at her. Even in front of guests (ahem me). She'll yell back and then he gets upset she is "raising her voice" at him, when he started it.

He won't let her get a job. He has canceled her applications for jobs before. She has sold some stuff online until he sold the materials she used to make things. Her only "income" is if he decides to give her an allowance and transfer money from his account to hers (please note they have BOTH their names on the accounts but one is considered hers one his). If she takes money from his account he gets mad. Bills, groceries, etc. Come from "her" account

Was always sweet but now uses her as jokes to his friends. Demeans her in front of them.

They move a state over after they got married, almost 5 hours away. Doable in one day, but many don't like to do it. Since being married, she has effectively not seen any of her friends except when they come into town to visit. I have went to visit her and one of her friends did, that friend confided they did not feel comfortable or welcome. That doesn't bother me cause personally I don't give a shit what D thinks and am there for my sister and nephew. But I have overheard D talk bad about all her friends, even me, snd encourage her not to talk to them.

The two friends she has made in the area D has told her to drop because they are "bad influences". The worst thing one has done was medical Marijuana that was prescribed to them. Not sure how they are bad except they've encouraged her to get a job and be more independent

D decided to get a cat, which my sister has a known allergy to. She didn't want the cat, but D brought it home. It has absolutely zero training and has destroyed their home. It pees everywhere, including my nephew's bed. It hates absolutely everyone except D, even attacking my sister for sitting on the couch next to D. D refuses to get rid of the thing even though it has scratched my sister and nephew multiple times and my nephew is afraid of it

Of course, there's more, but those are all things I have witnessed. The last part is what prompted me to take pictures of the bed that was peed on, the scratches on the kid and my sister. My sister showed me texts of her begging D to get rid of the cat and to me it seemed he threatened her, so I took a picture of that.

I personally believe D is an abusive prick. Definitely financially and emotionally, but not physically unless you consider neglect or him keeping the cat. He has never once hit my nephew or my sister that I have seen, and she has never stated he has. My sister has talked about leaving but then goes back to him, and I know on the outside it seems clear to me what to do but I know there is a cycle of abuse. When she is ready to leave him, she knows she can come to me and our parents.

However, D found out I took the photos. He called me drunk and extremely irate, but he didn't explicitly threaten me. It was implied. He called me an asshole, which is what made me think of this. He told me to delete the photos and that upon me doing so, he will get couples therapy.

On one hand I know they need therapy. On the other, what's to prove he will do this after I do that? My sister is begging me to delete the photos because she believes if they have therapy things will improve.

To be specific: D wants to be there when I delete them and make sure they are gone and to me that just proves how bad of a person he is because he doesn't want any evidence of any wrongdoing. My sister has sent me multiple texts and I know she has been trying to make a way for things in case it does go south, but she is afraid the inlaws will attempt for custody because apparently the inlaws have a bit of money and know the judge in our area. I dont want these photos to be used against her either...

AITA for not deleting them?

What are these acronyms?

[olderthannetfic]

I’ve had to deal with people in a couple of my fandom Discords lately where if you respond to them with anything but unending positivity, even ask what they mean, they just wrap into a ball of Triggered and anxiety and self-pitying about how they always come off “badly” and I’m just like…. I have social anxiety so I won’t say I have zero sympathy, but it’s fucking exhausting to deal with all the time and makes you feel like you have to step on hot coals in the whole group lest they be listening in and make a big Thing out of something. Am I a bad person if I just wish these people wouldn’t interact in social spaces that trigger their anxiety in that way without getting therapy first? Because of course, none of these people are in therapy (they say this).

--

One thing this type of person never seems to get is that the fellow chat member innocently asking for clarification probably also has some social anxiety or a language barrier or bad experiences online or whatthefuckever.

It is indeed tiresome to constantly feel like you have to watch yourself and cannot relax. There might be understandable reasons why people are a nightmare to deal with... but they're still a nightmare.

[rootjin]

i hate TRAs for all the shit they do but i especially hate them for what they do to lesbians and the lesbian identity.

lesbians have been sexualized by men since the beginning of time. i remember back in the days a lot of gay men were suddenly being represented in tv but barely any lesbians couple – and if it was more for the male gaze (you know what i mean). lesbians have to fight sexism and homophobia. and never forget “conversion” therapy which was nothing more than rap- women and girls. when did lesbians ever catch a break?

they never had a safe space because, of course, homophobic women exist who pushed lesbians out of women-only spaces. lesbians always had go hear shit like „just try some d-, it‘ll be good“, „you just haven‘t been f- by a good one yet“, etc.

i really thought it was getting better. a lot of girls outed themselves as lesbians (or bi) a few years ago and simultaneously more and more girls educated themselves about lgb and weren’t homophobic anymore (at least in my experience).

we had a “sapphic love” club at school – only lesbian and bi girls were allowed, everyone encouraged it. reddit. clubs. everything.

and now everything is moving backwards with tims, “male” lesbians, gaybians and alike infiltrating lesbian spaces – online and irl. not to forget that tim also say stuff like “just try my girld-“ and if a lesbian says no it’s deemed as “transphobic”. not only are tims infiltrating the spaces, they are trying to change the whole definition of being lesbian to match their gender-ideology.

makes me sad. women deserve their safespace. they deserve feeling comfortable amidst the community they belong to.

love goes out to the wlw-community 🧡🤍🩷

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

ok but how do you think Spencer would react to you reading in his favorite cardigan and his favorite lingerie set?!?

okay but almost bought a very expensive lingerie set bc i am sad and retail therapy is the best but we all know no one’s gonna be seeing anything for the foreseeable future lmao

ANYWAY! Okay so ofc I’m saying this is early seasons spencer bc i have deluded myself into thinking he’s my husband and i am his wife <3

spencer reid x fem reader (18+)

Let’s say you’re shopping online and come across an advertisement for a new lingerie brand.

Not to protect my tastes but I think he’d like lingerie that’s mesh and unlined with delicate floral details on the sides in pastel pinks, blues, whites, and of course lavender

But also something riskier and more strappy in dark reds and black with garter belts that wrap around your body

I think he’d like the contrast of the lace or mesh against the soft, coziness of the cardigans

And then there's the fact that it's his cardigans which makes Spencer's possessive side just jump out

He would walk into the apartment, exhausted and drained, hardly realizing that you’re sitting on the couch wearing next to nothing

“Oh” Spencer would say, dropping his bag to the floor rushing over to you on the couch. He’d crouch to his knees, his hands going immediately to your hips. “What on earth did I do to deserve this?”

He lifts his head, melting as you thread your fingers through his hair and scratch his scalp. Spencer would close his eyes, loving the attention like the touch starved man he is.

“Being you” you’d say, gently kissing Spencer’s forehead. “You sounded exhausted on the phone, baby. I thought we’d relax. Enjoy each other.”

“I’m going to more than enjoy you,” Spencer would whisper trailing kisses along your thighs. He’d be so good at making you feel pretty you almost believe it.

He would be so gentle, holding himself back from tearing away the pretty lace and fabric. Even though he wants to rip the flimsy fabric in two.

This is Glasses Spencer (My Beloved Husband TM) so there would be a nervousness to him as he sees you in his clothes coupled with something as overtly sexy as lingerie. He would be blushing from his cheeks to his ears to his chest.

And you undo a couple of his buttons, trying to get him to relax a little bit, but just making him more anxious

He would be ridiculously attentive, whispering praise and blushing when he receives all this well deserved praise too

Once he gets more confident in his sex life, Spencer would 100% be ordering sets he would think you'd like. And totally be down for a try-on show after a stressful day at work.

[sandyca5tle]

Slime HRT Story - 25 Months - 2 year appointment

Hyper City; I was getting used to the bizarre place that seemed to appear to those who looked for it, having to come here every half-dozen months to get checked up and making sure I wasn’t mutating or something unexpected had given me ample time to become at least somewhat accustomed to it. Today however, I’d been asked to come in not just for a physical checkup, but also my mental checkup, which normally I did over a video call, so being asked to come to the physical office was weird. 

They had explained that, since I had now completed the two years required to begin shapeshifter hrt, that they needed to talk with me in person regarding some of the steps needed to proceed, as well as other discussions that needed to happen. They hadn’t gone into much detail about what exactly would be needed, just that they needed to be done in person.

It was always nice walking around the city; compared to home there were a lot more people here like me, which had become more and more welcome as the changes became more and more obvious. 

Even early on I had gotten some strange looks - a girl with orange, rippling skin tends to be noticed - but as I got slime-ier and slime-ier the looks were more and more frequent. There were of course people back home (as in not in Hyper City) who were taking the humanity replacement therapy, but certainly none in my proximity, which only made me that much more of an oddity. I did avoid a lot of what could have been though by staying inside, and I mean, most of my friends were online, and those that weren’t also didn’t live locally.

Hyper City however, while I definitely still got that kind of attention, and some places wouldn’t serve us (I didn’t know of any places like that back home, but as I said, I hadn’t been out enough to find them), I could at least see other people like me, and it at least made me feel less alone.

***

It didn’t take long to reach my destination, although it was in a little bit of a different place than I usually had to go to but I found it well enough, and headed inside, where I was basically greeted with what looked like a mix between an office, and a hospital waiting room. I gave over my name and appointment time, and was told to wait to be called.

When I sat down, I was glad to find that the chairs here had a hole in the back that I could put my tail through - an accommodation that I had found lacking in quite a few places, including my own home. Of course, for me, having a tail was completely optional, I had chosen to shape my body like that, but I liked it, it felt comfortable and right, and 99% of the time I was not going to give that up just because society hasn’t adjusted to some people having tails. Wings were a whole ‘nother story all together, but interestingly I frequently found less issue with them, so long as I didn’t spread them out.

Once I had sorted my tail and wings out on the seat, I adjusted my clothes, which had slightly stuck to me in places. While I had been forgoing clothes at home - there’s no real need in private, and they don’t exactly go with my more fluid shape - I still didn’t quite feel comfortable walking around outside completely naked, so I was currently dressed in a waterproofed cropped tank, jacket, and shorts - an outfit I had always liked, so I made sure to buy some new stuff (and modify it a little for tails and wings) for my new size and makeup. Haven’t bothered with shoes in months since I made my feet into talons, since no-one really makes shoes for them, and I don’t really need ‘em.

While I waited I took a moment to think back on the last couple of years. Overall, it had been wonderful, seeing myself slowly change, and slowly finding myself even more in love with my body than estrogen had managed (no shade there, turns out i just needed more/something other than what it could do for me). It had taken a while, but I loved where I was at now, and as I thought this I flourished my arm, its shape bubbling and twisting, not really taking on a specific form, I was simply moving its shape as one might move a finger. It gave me a nice warm feeling in my core as I did so.

As my thoughts turned to my core, I actually shifted it to my hand, idly rolling the rough sphere around in my hand as I looked at it. I’d started doing this recently, basically using my core as a fidget toy, as potentially ill-advised as that could be, but its almost cratered surface had a nice texture, so was nice to hold. I did have to remind myself not to throw it around - I didn't want my body to deform accidentally, especially not in public, and I wasn’t sure how durable my core was, and I didn’t want to find out by dropping it. It did feel hard though, and very solid, and somewhat crystalline. Not really knowing any other slimes at this point in their transition, I had no-one to compare to to know if my core was normal or not - I assumed the crystallinity of the core was normal, that seemed like a reasonable thing, but the ‘cratering’ across it was something I wasn’t certain about, and it worried me slightly, despite my attempts to not let it get to me.

I was ripped from my thoughts upon hearing my name called out from over by the reception, and I raised a hand and nodded in response, getting up to walk over to them, as they directed me towards my appointment.

I knocked on the door, which only had ‘6C’ stuck on it, and heard a woman call me in from the other side. I opened the door and stepped through, only to be met with a sphinx. Yes, a sphinx, sitting, much like the statue, behind the desk in front of me. I also noticed that the room was, naturally, quite tall, presumably to allow her locomotion around it, and I spied a larger double door in the back of the room that looked like it might just fit her. 

“You must be Sandy, am I correct?” She asked, her voice somewhat loud but soft, and as such did not offend my ears “Please, take a seat,” She said, nodding to the chair on the other side of the desk. 

I sat down as instructed, noting that I was surprisingly at eye level. I was unsure whether that was something a lot of fictional depictions got wrong, or whether she was earlier in her transition that made her smaller (assuming that she was transitioning, Hyper City seemed home to more than just humans or those transitioning…). Regardless, once I was seated, I finally replied to her question “Uh, yeah, I’m Sandy,”

“Good,” She said simply “I’m Jania, nice to meet you,”

“Uh, nice to meet you too.” I was finding that despite her not being that much higher up than me at the moment, her overall presence in the room was noticeably greater

“I’m sure you’ll understand if I don’t shake your paw- hand- claw?” She jumped between the words, clearly not sure which to use, and I noticed her looking at my appendage

“I guess claw? That’s what it’s shaped like, alternatively limb or pseudopod, but I think claw works fine,” I told her

“Yes, that,” She said “Anyway, I understand you’re here for your regular check-in, as well as a discussion of your next steps,” I nodded “Good. So, how are you doing today?”

I took a moment to think before responding “Generally I’m good, and transition wise too, despite the last couple of months being a little…. well, being a lot honestly. But, I’m out the other side and all the better for it,” I stretched out my arms, sending a ripple along them “All good and gooey now,”

“Yes, I read the diary entry you submitted, what you’ve been through sounds unpleasant to say the least,” Jania said “How are your memories?”

“Fuzzy from around that time, but since then fine,” I told her candidly “As for before then it’s hard to know what I’ve lost due to the transition and what’s just my bad memory,” I added “But I feel fine, and as I said, forming new memories seems to be normal so far, so it was just a very unpleasant side effect of having the very nature of my neurological centre transformed,”

“Well I’m glad to hear that you feel fine, although I might slate you for some examination on your memory, just to make sure,” She replied. I frowned, not really seeing the necessity, but nodded, worst case it would set my mind at ease. “I assume, based on what you’ve said so far, that you are pleased with the progress you’ve achieved?”

I nodded again “As I’ve said before, I wish it hadn’t all taken so long/happened faster, but that’s just ‘cause i’m impatient, can’t complain with the end result,” I said with a grin “Although maybe it’s a good thing, the last few months happening any faster might have seriously fucked me - actually I did see some rumours and stuff about a 15 minute version of this stuff, but it sounded… shady at best,” I told her

“Yes, we’re aware of that, and we highly recommend avoiding it, it is incredibly dangerous and life threatening,” Her tone had suddenly grown very serious

I raised my hands defensively “That was kinda the vibe I got, and anyways, I’m already here, no need for me to take it now,” I told her

“Good,” She replied “Now, before we move on to next steps there is something else we’d like to ask,” She began “Obviously you have been very diligent about keeping the requested updates about your transition, however, while you seemed to cover the major events, there is certain things notably missing, such as the clusters of chloroplasts I can see in your body,” She remarked 

My ears perked up a little at that “So they are chloroplasts? I wasn’t certain, since I’m a sap slime, and I didn’t think sap normally had chloroplasts, so I wasn’t sure, but they seemed harmless and so I didn��t worry about it - plus they look neat,” I explained excitedly “Would explain why sunny days have felt so good recently… do you think my core is the same?”

“Oh, had you not been told about that? Yes, apparently during one of your checkups they were tested and identified to be chloroplasts, meaning that you are capable of photosynthesizing,” She informed me, and I immediately felt my tail wagging behind me

“That’s awesome, that was something I was really hoping would happen, even if I wasn’t sure it would!” I relayed to her “I wonder how much of my energy it would provide…?”

Jania quickly looked something up, and I noted that she had a super-sized keyboard just in front of her paws. “Unfortunately without a drastic increase in surface area, you are unlikely to experience a significant effect on you energy levels, although you may experience a slight improvement in your energy and mood on sunny days, which it sounds like you already have,” She told me

I frowned, before taking a moment to think, spreading my wings out “Would these help increase my surface area?” I enquired 

It was Jania’s turn to look thoughtful, taking a moment herself before responding “I can’t say for certain, but based on the information I have, it logically should,” She offered “Although I would not advise skipping meals to rely on the sun,” She said “The main reason it does not supply you entire energy needs is that you are significantly more active than any other plant…based entity,” I felt a small welling of euphoria at that, despite my disappointment at being unable to rely solely on the sun for nourishment, being called a plant, or plant-based entity, was nice.

“Don’t worry, I like food too much to stop eating, but I would be a neat option,” I remarked

“Good to hear,” Jania told me “With that clarified, I will return to my original point - you appear to have missed several of the changes in your reports, and we would appreciate it if you could try to write a supplemental on any changes, as well as any other pertinent details, that you missed in your prior entries,” She asked “As you know, while we are confident in the safety of the medication we provide, there is still a lot of unknowns, and we would like to collect as much information as we can on the experiences of those transitioning, so please add any information that might be helpful to others who come after you, as well as anything else that you may want to add in regards to your transition,”

I nodded, feeling a little like I’d been scolded for handing in sub-par homework, but I understood why they wanted a thorough report, and she wasn’t wrong, there had been some things I’d missed, or been unsure where to put in, so this would be a great time to add all of those to the reports “I’ll make sure to do that asap,” I assured her

Jania nodded, tapping a little on her computer “Right, so with that out of the way, we have a couple more thing to address,” She began “Firstly: you have reached the two year mark on your transition to a slime, which also means it’s time for us to discuss the crossroads,” My face fell a little.

I’d seen others talk about the crossroads, but I honestly wasn’t really sure what  actually happened, all I knew was that it was the point that you left behind any chance of being human again, and fully set out to become the animal or creature you were transitioning into. I nodded

“You may or may not know, but the crossroads is the point at which your changes will make you, what is known as ‘feral’, making you less human in both body and mind.” She told me

“I’m not exactly sure I’d call my body any amount of human at this point,” I said

“You’re still in a humanoid form,” She pointed out 

“By choice and for ease, the world is kinda build for humanoids, as I’m sure you’re aware of,” I replied  “I’m pretty sure I said in my reports that I had been using a ‘slime ball form’-” As I said that, I shifted some slime in my hand into a miniature version of said form “And I mean,” I gestured with my claws and tail, spreading my wings slightly “It’s not like I’m particularly precious about the human part of the ‘humanoid’”

Jania nodded “That is fair I suppose, and you are correct, I have become increasingly aware of the… accessibility of human society to those of us outside of it,” She remarked “Although I must ask - surely you can just make yourself more humanoid to navigate their world more easily?”

“I spent 20 odd years as a human, I’m taking the first chance I can get off that train,” I replied “Plus, it feels right to have what I’ve made for myself, why should I have to shift that away just ‘cause humans haven’t adapted? Maybe seeing people struggle with it will get them to do something about it!” I added “I mean, it probably won’t unless we make a fuss about it, but,” I muttered

The sphinx paused for a second before replying “That is understandable, and commendable if I am honest, I’m sure others in a similar situation might opt to adjust themselves,” She remarked

“Eh, I’m already a blob of bright orange goo, I stand out enough as is,” I replied

“That is also true, I suppose,” She tapped on her computer a little bit before continuing “Regardless, beyond this point you will experience little physical changes - for slimes the difference before and after the crossroads physically is fairly limited, due to their relatively simple biology,” I took offence at her calling our biology ‘simple’ but I had to concede (after a wave of euphoria at realising how easily I had thought ‘our biology’) that we didn’t have the most complex biology, and to be fair to her, she seemed to be reading off the computer, so I assumed they weren’t her words. 

“The only other potential physical change is that of lifespan… however there is little data on how long a slime naturally lives, so we wouldn’t be able to tell you whether you would have an increased or decreased lifespan,” She informed me

“Yeah, there’s not a lot of literature/media that has slimes die by natural causes…” I said, getting an uncomfortable feeling inside myself “Most games use us as low level cannon fodder,” I added with a frown

“....yes, exactly, so if you were to go ahead with going beyond the crossroads, we would ask that you sign additional waivers and the like, so as to make it clear that you are making the decision to potentially shorten your lifespan in full knowledge that that is what you are doing,” I nodded, they had to cover their asses legally, that made sense, although the idea of shortening my lifespan kind of scared me

“The other changes are purely mental. Generally, going beyond the crossroads leads to distancing from your current behaviours, thoughts, and potentially even memories as your mind becomes more like that of your natural species. Before that, as a slime, you would experience a degradation in intelligence, and likely strengthening in your predatory instincts,”

I nodded to convey my understanding, worried and concerned about what I was hearing - I didn’t want to lose myself, even as much as I loved being a slime “And, uh, what happens if I don’t go beyond the crossroads, how does that work - I haven’t seen a lot of people talk about that?” I asked, a little sheepishly

I swear Jania almost looked relieved when I finished my question, which made me frown a little, but I decided to ignore it “If you didn’t wish to go beyond the crossroads, then you would be put onto a lowered dose for a few months, to see if your body is producing all the right chemicals, and once we were certain of that, you would eventually stop taking the medication all together, and live as you are now,” She explained

I nodded, my mind racing with the options I had - I liked where I was, I had everything I wanted out of my slime transition, and what I could lose past the crossroads sounded terrifying. Naturally, with that in mind, it seemed like an obvious choice, but a part of me was asking ‘but if you stop now, are you even a real slime?’ and despite all the logical points I could make against that, it didn’t stop the feeling from gnawing at me

“You don’t have to answer right away, and actually, you will have plenty of time to decide, assuming you still plan to go ahead with the shapeshifter treatment,” She told me

I gave her a quizzical look “Yes, I do, but what do you mean?”

“Well, due to the relatively ‘volatile’ nature of the shapeshifter treatment, not that is at all dangerous, we prefer patients to not be undergoing large scale mental strain and stress while taking the additional treatment,” Jania explained “So we would put you on the maintenance dose, as if you had chosen to not proceed with the crossroads. Then a few months after that, once the additional treatment had began to take hold, you would need to make the decision about the crossroads, so we could stop your dose or return it to full strength depending on your decision,” I nodded “That sounds good, I hadn’t realised how little I was ready to make the decision about the crossroads,” I told her

“It’s a big decision, and one we wouldn’t want anyone taking lightly, so you can take your time,” She told me “Up to a point, there is unfortunately a limit before even the maintenance dose begins to push you past the crossroads,” I nodded again, not sure what else to say “With that talked about, we need to move onto discussion about you starting shapeshifter hrt, you did say you still intend to take the treatment, yes?”

I nodded “Very much so, definitely still wanting that,” I replied 

“Good, I have to make sure of course,” Jania said, tapping a few times on her computer, before turning it to me - her paws large against the mostly normal sized screen - showing a list, with a title at the top ‘Types of Shapeshifter’ “As you can see here,” She began “there are various types of shapeshifter and before we proceed any further, we need you to pick what specific kind of shapeshifter you want to become,”

I glanced over the list, noting that it started at those with more limited transformative abilities, such as werewolves, to mimics (and the several subcategories of that), to those that adapted to their environment. However, I quickly skimmed past all of these - I knew all about the types of shapeshifters, this had been what I had originally come to them to become after all, so I’d researched this years before - and jumped right to the end “That one!” I declared, pointing, probably a little too excitedly at the option at the bottom “A polymorph shapeshifter!”

I saw Jania smile a little “That is what I expected, given your choice of base,” She remarked, gesturing to my gelatinous body, causing me to chuckle a little bashfully “So a polymorph it is then, just to make sure, you understand that a polymorph can alter themselves to be almost anything, so long as they can imagine it,” She asked, I nodded - of course I understood, this is what I’d wanted the whole time  “Ok then, with that decision clearly made,” she spun the screen back around and tapped a little more as she continued to talk “first things first we need you to sign the consent forms, and then we can get a prescription sorted out once you have had your checkup today, assuming that there are no problems there,” She explained “And then we will have to get you your shapeshifter licence,”

I gave her a quizzical look “Shapeshifter licence?” I enquired 

“Right, yes, to be legally able to use your shapeshifting abilities in Hyper City, you must register as a shapeshifter, and carry identification detailing the nature of your form of shapeshifting,” She explained

I frowned a little, I wasn’t sure how I felt about having to be registered somewhere just ‘cause I was a shapeshifter - but then at the same time, it was an easy ability to abuse, so I can understand people wanting to keep an eye on us “How am I supposed to fill in a form like that if I’m only going to be partially able to transform for a while?” I asked, thinking back to how my shaping had been early on in my transition to a slime “Like I’m not going to be able to turn into godzilla day one,” I pointed out

“Don’t worry, we have provisional licences, which have details about your target level of shapeshifting, but are clear that you may not have reached that point yet yourself. When you come in for your checkups, we can update the current details on the system and your ID,” She explained “We have some ready for those who are going to become shapeshifters, but we can only give it to you once you have been cleared by a doctor after your physical,” 

“Ok, that makes sense,” I replied “What will I do if I develop something and my ID is not up to date?” I asked - I really didn’t want to deal with whatever magical cops this city had

“Assuming you don’t cause any harm to any people or property, or anything else otherwise illegal, the provisional nature of the licence will at least explain why your abilities aren’t completely correctly documented yet,”

“Ok, goo-d,” I tripped a little on the word, feeling myself blush a little, I had been trying to use more ‘slimeisms’ but hadn’t expected one to slip out here “ I, uh, would rather not get arrested just ‘cause I happened to get a new shift and it’s not noted down,”

“Don’t worry, we’ve liaised with the authorities to work this out,” Jania explained “Wouldn’t be good if those under our care were constantly being arrested,” She pointed out

“No, I would imagine not,” I remarked

“Do you have any more questions?” The sphinx asked

“Not that I can think of, but I’m sure they’ll crop up later,” I said with a half-smile and a chuckle

“If you do think of any later you can send any questions you think of later via the website,” She told me “With those important things out of the way, not that this is any less important, how are you coping with being a slime out in the world of humans?” She asked 

I blinked a couple of times before replying “Fine, I guess, I’m not the most outdoorsy person, most o’ my friends are online, so I tend to stay inside most of the time,” I said “But it has been pretty neat just being able to exist in the real world as the slime I am,” I added

“Have you had any issues with people? Many people don’t take kindly to those different than you, and you did say you’re a blob of bright orange goo that stands out enough already,”

I paused to think for a moment “I’ve had a couple of in person issues, and a couple places have refused to let me in, but there’s assholes everywhere, I just ignore them/don’t go there again, it’s like blocking people online,” I told her, glad that my throat no longer got tight talking about these things (mainly ‘cause i don’t have a throat anymore), but I could still feel my tone fall a bit as I thought about the incidents “It sucks that people can’t just live and let live, but I don’t need to burn myself out fighting every asshole who calls me something shit,” I said, noting the clear sadness in my voice “It doesn’t not affect me, I feel the same way about trans stuff, which I never got shit for irl myself, but you see and hear people hating you just for existing, and you can try to ignore it, but it does get to you, even a bit…” I said “So, I’m fine, for all practical purposes, it’s not like I’ve been stabbed or anything for being myself, just sad that I and people like me have to suffer ‘cause people can’t mind their own damn business,” The word damn echoed with a little more anger than I had meant to let out

Jania just nodded, and typed a little, and while I was sure she wasn’t putting anything major down, it did unnerve me a little. Once she had finished, she looked back up at me “Well, with that then, assuming you still have no more questions,” I shook my head “good, then I will let you get on with your physical evaluation, and hopefully start your new medication,” She announced “If you are fit to begin, the doctor there should also provide you with the application for the provisional shapeshifter licence,” She added “Now, I’m sure you’ll forgive me again if I don’t shake your claw,” She gave a small wink “And I hope you have a lovely rest of your day,” She said, giving me a small nod of her head

I stood up, shaking off the emotions from before, and waved “Thank you, and same to you, hope you have a good rest of your day,” I said, making my way over to the door and leaving.

***

I arrived at the clinic for my physical (annoyingly they were in different buildings, but fortunately it was only a quick trip) and after waiting for a little was directed to Dr. Othek’s office

“Hello Miss Sandy, is it that time again already?” He asked, greeting me with a smile as he always did

“Yes, I’m back again,” I said, taking a seat opposite him as he finished typing some things

“This is a big appointment for you though, if you’re all fine here, you can start on.. polymorph hrt was it?” He double checked 

“Yeah, so I’m hoping this goes well,” I replied

“There should hopefully be no reason for you to have any problems, so this should be a breeze,” He told me “We may as well get started then,” I nodded “First test, as usual, I need to take a sample of your slime, if you don’t mind,” He asked, holding out a test tube

“Of course,” I said with a nod, holding my finger over the tube, focusing a little to make the tip slowly drip into the tube below “That enough?” I asked

“That should be plenty,” The doctor replied, topping off the sample, and placing it into a machine to analyse it (since I had first started coming here, the facilities had improved immensely) “I’m still a little surprised that that doesn’t hurt you,” He remarked

“I mean, it’s just a part of me dropping off, not sure why that would hurt?” I replied, before catching a look from him and realising what I’d said “Oh, right yeah, I just get kinda used to it, there’s still plenty of me, so no reason to cry over a little lost, I keep plenty of spare in here,” I told him, tapping my slime near my core “Mass may be important to us slimes, be we can lose a lot before it hurts us,” I said proudly

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be surprised really, you’re not human, you’re not going to have the same response as we do,” He said, and I felt my core glow with euphoria 

“I mean, I still remember being human, or what it was like to be human/have a human body, so I guess I should kinda foresee stuff like that being weird for y’all to hear,” I conceded “Kinda forget just a little as my body has changed more, this is just how it should be to me,” I offered

“It makes some sense, you are already what you are becoming, so it makes sense that you would adapt quickly, and stop thinking in human terms,” He replied “Can you show me how your shaping is going?” I opened my mouth to remark something, but he interrupted with “I know you brought this up last time with the wings and tail you made for yourself, but I still need a live check, not to mention now that you’ve had those for a while they’re in your shape memory, rather than a demonstration of your shaping,”

I rolled my eyes and smiled, the doctor had pre-empted my words “Fair enough, it’s not like I mind showing off my shifting,” I said holding up a claw, and shifting it so it grew larger and sharper, until my claw was about the size of the doctor’s torso. He nodded and took some notes

“Now something else, please,” He asked. I nodded, thinking for a second, before returning my claw to normal, before another pair of arms grew out of my torso, and I gave the doctor 4 thumbs up

“Oooh, this actually feels really cool, I might keep this,” I remarked, moving all four arms in synchronicity, as well as trying out a few motions with each independently of the others. I saw the doctor smile, and I quickly put all my arms down at my sides “Sorry,” I said with an awkward chuckle

“No, no, by all means,” Dr Othek said, with a wave of encouragement

“No, it’s fine, I’ll do it later,” I replied a little shyly

“If that’s what you want, then next can you do something with your legs?” He asked, gesturing to said limbs

I looked thoughtful for a moment, before I worked out what I was going to do “Made a friend who’s got this,” I remarked, before focusing for a moment, my legs fusing and growing longer, my tail similarly merging with them. It always felt interesting, the senses of separate limbs merging into one (even if that sense of separation was less prominent as a slime than as a human), and losing my legs did make me a little unsteady, fortunately the doctor helped to hold me up as the transformation continued. Unfortunately I had forgotten to account for my clothes, and my shorts got swallowed up by my merging body, and I had to take a second to pull them out and toss them aside. Slowly my lower body elongated into a long shape that slowly tapered to a dull point “Ta-whoa-daa!” I announced, wobbling a little as I got used to my new support

“So you’ve been talking to a lamia or two have you then?” The doctor observed with a small smile

“Yesssss” I said, a forked tongue flicking out of my mouth as I elongated the consonant, as I had seen the lamia in question do herself 

“Glad to hear you’re making like-minded friends out there,” He remarked “Lastly, can I ask you to transform your entire body?”

I blinked a little at this request, even though I had been half expecting it - he’d asked for this last time too - but it still caught me off guard. My eyes darted to the curtain around the bed that was in the room “Uh, mind if I go behind that to change out of the rest of my clothes, don’t want to damage them, was lucky with my shorts,” I said, realising that apparently now my brain was deciding to get awkward about my lack of lowerwear, despite my current shape

Dr. Othek’s eyes widened a little, before he smiled in understanding “Oh, of course, by all means,” He said warmly, gesturing over to the bed

I wandered over, glad for the spacious area, given my now extra long body/tail (I guessed he had many larger patients) and pulled the curtain around. Once sure I was shielded, I began to take my clothes off, which was actually pretty quick nowadays given I could just shrink my limbs away, and then slip up and through the clothes. This time in particular, as I shifted my body up and through the clothes, I had my whole body contract and condense, until out of the top of my clothes I sprang as a small blob-ball of slime, landing myself on the bed that was nearby.

I reached out some pseudopod tendrils and picked up my clothes and put them on the bed beside me, while another pair pulled the curtain aside so the doctor could see the transformation.

“Oh now don’t you look adorable,” He remarked taking a step closer, and I immediately felt myself blush and look away from him, my tendrils either freezing what they were doing or rushing to cover my face (not that the thin extensions of slime were very effective at that), which he fortunately picked up on quickly “Sorry, that was unprofessional of me, it is a very impressive transformation though,” He said

I took a second to recover after the surprise remark from the doctor, but I began to feel the slime in my ‘cheeks’ return to normal, and I pulled all my tendrils back close to myself “It’s pretty simple if I have to be honest, just pull everything in and ball,” I said, giving the closest thing I could to a shrug with the four tendrils I had currently, suddenly aware for the second time today that I was now much smaller than the other person

“I obviously can’t speak to ease of this, but if you say that this is easy, then would you care to demonstrate something more complex?” He asked “Although I do want to remark on the expert use of your….” He trailed off, gesturing to my limbs

“Tendrils, pseudopods, tentacles I ‘spose wouldn’t be inaccurate either,” I offered

“... pseudopods then, I didn’t expect you to be so dextrous with them already,” He finished

“I mean, they’re just another limb, they’re like an arm,” I said, shifting one into a small arm as I said that “And I’ve been able to make them for a while, guess I just never showed you before,” I told him

“I suppose they would be..” the doctor conceded, a thoughtful look on his face “As you may have noticed, while I am familiar with the medical limits and boundaries, the actual details of the transition aren’t particularly known to me, so you’ll have to forgive my ignorance,” He said

“They’ve got me writing a journal to keep track of everything, details a lot of my transition, I don’t know if you can ask for access to the file or whatever, but that might help fill in the details?” I offered

“Oh they have, have they? I only receive requests to check if things you have ‘reported’ are nominal, a complete journal would be extremely helpful,” He remarked “I don’t know if they will send it to me, so you can contact me here,” He handed me a something like a business card, which I took in a tendril and quickly put with my clothes, “and I would appreciate seeing your journal - knowing what my patients are going through in between sessions would be extremely helpful - assuming you are willing to share it with me,” He asked

I nodded (which is a lot more involved when you are a single round ball) “Sure, I’m kind of surprised they hadn’t already sent it to you anyways,” I told him 

“That’d be much appreciated miss slime,” He said with a nod “Right, we should continue with your examination - a more complex full body transformation, if you would Sandy?” He repeated

I nodded again and thought for a second, before raising a tendril as an idea struck. I took a quick glance around the room, confirming that it was big enough “You may want to stand quite far back,” I told him, hopping down from the bed and making my way to the middle of the room “I’ve only tried this once before - don’t really have the room at home - so this may not be perfect, but it’s definitely complicated,”

I noted the doctor giving me a curious look, before acquiescing and moving to a corner of the room. I took another look around, hoping that my current smaller size wasn’t affecting my mental measurement of the room. I went to take a breath, before remembering that I couldn’t do that now, which left me floundering a little on what to replace it with (I really need to work that out) But nonetheless I turned my attention to the task at hand.

First I focused on some key things, namely legs - four of them to be precise - each one growing out of the base of my small, round form, propping me up like some weird cartoon character. The legs themselves were reptilian in appearance, sans texture as I was limited only to slime, but once they reached what felt like the right length and shape I stopped, focusing on the next part. With a solid base, I began to stretch my body out, elongating it, making sure my weight was spread evenly across each of my new legs. At the same time as doing this, I pushed out a tail, glad for the restoration of that limb, making sure it was the right length, relative to my current size, topping it off with the fin I had come to love at the end of it.

With those all sorted, next I focused on my face, pushing it out as well and forwards, extending not only into a muzzled front, but a fairly long neck behind it. On my head, I also made sure to include a pair of horns, which were also a comfort to have back. Although they were superfluous, I also added sharp (well, teeth all along the inside of my mouth, because let's be honest, they’re awesome, licking them with the long forked tongue I had given myself. The only bit that was particularly weird for me was my eyes moving to the sides of my head, may as well go the full mile here, but adjusting to the different style of vision was always a little weird.

Next on the agenda was wings, both of which I forged from my back, pushing out until they, like my tail, were back to the correct size. I gave them an experimental flap to double check I’d gotten everything right, loving the feeling of their motion.

With all the core bits shaped, there was only one last thing to do: get BIG. I looked up at the doctor, not wanting to cause him any harm, before I began to push my body outwards in all directions, feeling myself grow bigger, the floor quickly receding from me. Once the ceiling began to get close to my head, I slowed down, stopping where I could still move fairly comfortably - albeit carefully - around the room. 

All in all the transformation had taken me not long at all, although I quickly touched up some details I had missed before I spoke.

“Ta daaa,” I said, bellowing more than I had meant to, not realising how the transformation had messed with my sound production “Ahem, I mean - ta daaa,” I said, in a voice much closer to my normal one, although I did keep a bit of a bellow, it just fit with my new shape

“And here I thought I was treating a slime, not a dragon,” Dr. Othek quipped, sending an unexpected burst of euphoria through my body “You know they do medication for this on its own,” He joked. I watched as he made his way towards me, finding the ‘above’ view of the doctor new and interesting, given I’d always had to look up to the man yet now I was somewhere in the realm of double his height, it was definitely a novel experience.

“You are definitely still slime-y though,” He remarked 

“Yes well, I can’t change my material makeup yet,” I replied “That’s why I want the shapeshifter/polymorph hrt, gotta get some scales on this bitch,” I said, still a little unused to the changes I had made to my voice as part of this form

“Why did you not just take dragon hrt?” He asked, and even though he meant it with no malice or judgement it still hurt a little - I didn’t think I’d still be answering this kind of question two years after starting down this path

I sat down, a little more heavily than I meant to - I wasn’t used to being this large - but fortunately without breaking anything “Honestly, I almost did, but slime called to me more, felt like it would get me closer to the fluidity that I truly wanted, ultimately it just felt more right,” I told him “End goal is to vibe around as a chimaera of all my fave parts of whatever, when I’m not intentionally shapeshifting into other things, so really the base was just what seemed goo-d for a couple years, and that’s what slime was - don’t get me wrong, I love being a slime, still think it’s more fitting, than dragon, for the creature I am - but I’m a shapeshifter at heart, or well, core, I guess?” I finished with a small chuckle, which reverberated around the room a little

The doctor nodded, having been slowly walking around me as I had been talking, presumably inspecting my form “How did you get so large?” He asked, and I felt a little miffed he was just moving on from what I had just said, but I wasn’t going to bring that up

“I just did? Pushed my slime out into my body and got big,” I told him

“Where did the slime come from?” He said “You were a small ball of slime, and even accounting for the fact that your prior forms were larger, they did not hold enough slime for this,” He elaborated

“Oh, that - I think my core stores excess slime? Like how humans store excess sugars as fat,” I replied “Not quite sure how it does it, since I don’t seem to get notably heavier unless I eat a tonne, but yeah,” I added “So I made sure to have a good amount of mass spare at all times, to facilitate shaping better,” I explained “That was an expensive purchase though,”

“Interesting, can you come back down please?” He asked, so I moved, bringing my head level with his, the size difference between even just our heads quite noticeable “I meant, as a… as a humanoid,” He clarified

I frowned a little, I had been quite enjoying being a big ol’ dragon for a bit, but I acquiesced, and began shrinking myself back down to my ‘default’ form, all my draconic features slowly vanishing back into more humanoid ones, although I retained the horns, tail, wings, and claws, and both sets of my ears shaped back into existence, along with my talons at the ends of my legs. Once I was all back to ‘normal’ I turned around and looked up at the doctor “Better?” I asked, a little more venomously than I had meant to, or he deserved, but he had slightly ticked me off.

“...Yes, I apologise if you wanted to remain in that form for longer,” He said, clearly a little surprised at my anger “But it is easier to communicate while we’re both closer in size,” He said. I didn’t reply - it was unfair, he had otherwise been really nice and accepting, but he had managed to push a button even I wasn’t fully aware had existed, and I needed a second to cool off.

“Would you like to put your clothes back on?” He asked, and I suddenly noticed he had been looking away

I blushed a little “Oh shit, uh, right,” I said, quickly hurrying back behind the curtain

“Don’t forget your shorts!” Dr. Othek called out, and I shot an extended arm out to grab them. After a moment, I came back out from behind the curtain, my outfit put on, and my anger and blush having both resided

“Sorry about that,” I apologised

“Don’t be, honestly I am not sure about non-human sensibilities regarding clothes, so I leave it up to the patient,” He explained “Within reason of course,” He added

I nodded “Uh, so what’s the next test?”

“I need to look at your core, would it be ok?” He asked

I gave him a quizzical look, my hand moving to my mid-torso “Why?” I asked

“It is, well, the core of you, it is kind of a vital part of a physical examination,” He explained

“Right, yeah, of course,” I replied “Can you do the examination without touching it?” I asked

“Now it’s my turn to ask why?” the doctor threw back

“It’s basically my vital organ, and it’s very sensitive, I’d rather as few people handled it as possible, even medical professionals,” I explained sincerely

Dr. Othek looked thoughtful for a second, before nodding, “That should be doable,” He replied “Would you please remove your core from your body, so I can examine it more easily?”

I nodded, moving my core to my hand, holding it open with the small green rock that was, for all intents and purposes, me in my palm. The doctor leaned on close, some kind of magnifying lens over his eye, examining my core. It felt a little weird to be both studied so intensely, and yet to almost be ignored.

“Well, everything looks fine,” Dr. Othek said after a moment, standing back up and taking the lens off

“So the cratering on it is normal?” I asked, tail wagging hopefully behind me

“I can’t honestly say, but, if it seems to be causing you no issues, then we can assume you are healthy,”

“You can’t say?”

“Slimes are- were fictional creatures before now, the scientific data on you is limited,” The doctor explained “All we will have to go off is what you and other slimes develop and seem to be healthy with,” He added

“I guess that makes sense, was hoping for something more concrete though,” I replied

“All of these animal hrt treatments are groundbreaking science, and you have all been the first few to jump on it, the information just isn’t there for you all quite yet,” I nodded in understanding “One last thing - what would you say is the consistency of your core?” He asked “Is it soft, or hard, or any other applicable consistency?”

“Oh, uh, hard, definitely, it’s kinda like a rock?” I explained

“That’s good,” He said with a nod, sitting back down and filling in some forms on his computer “Well, that was the last of the tests, so if you just sit down again, I’ll fill everything in and we can finish up soon,” He told me. I put my core safely back inside me and we sat in silence for a moment while he finished filling in all my details, occasionally writing on a piece of paper on his desk. Eventually he pressed a final few buttons and I heard the printer on his desk kick into action, and he spoke again.

“So, all of your tests seem good, and I have to say, as far as we can tell, you are particularly exceptional at shaping,” He said finally, his words bringing warmth to my core and making my tail wag happily “As such,” He started again, pulling a piece of paper from the printer, and placing it in front of me with a pen, as well as a small plastic card “You just need to fill out this informed consent form for your polymorph supplement and you then take this prescription - he put the piece of paper he had been writing on on his desk just above the form - to the pharmacy to get your first dose,”

I looked at the papers he’d just put down, before looking up at him “Wait, today?” I asked, shocked

“Yeah, all of your tests are healthy as I said, there’s no reason you can’t,” He told me “Just gotta read all the information and sign your life away - joking, of course,” 

I nodded, my tail wagging ecstatically behind me as I read through the informed consent form, noting the usual ‘warnings’ - ‘loss of inherent/implicit shape’ etc. - that were more often features than issues, eventually reaching the end where I signed my name, struggling to stop myself grinning. 

With that done I turned my attention to the provisional shapeshifting licence, my shapeshifting licence - even if it was a dumb bureaucratic thing, it still made me happy to have - and looked at what was on it. I noted immediately that Dr. Othek had filled it in already for me, which left me to decipher all the little scribbles on it

Most of it was self explanatory, but I did look up to the doctor to ask him a question “What do the X’s mean?” I asked “I can tell the ‘Y’ and ‘N’ are yes and no, but I’m not sure what the X’s are - or actually what exactly the Y’s in brackets are for?”

“Ah, yes, the X’s indicate a ‘not applicable’, since you are unable to truly shapeshift yet-” Even though I knew it was true, it still hurt to hear that said aloud- “Those categories cannot be accurately answered yet,” He explained “The bracketed Y’s indicate what you will be able to do, once you have completed your treatment, and those give people an idea of what to expect if you have any developments in between updates to your licence,” He finished

I nodded, that all at least made sense. I looked back at the piece of plastic in my hand - this was the one thing I had at this moment that said I was a shapeshifter, that said what I truly was, if I still could I probably would have teared up “Thanks,” I eked out instead, my voice trembling a little with my happiness, and I was glad the emotion hadn’t set off my tail

“I’m just doing my job,” Dr. Othek replied with a soft smile “But you’re welcome,” He added “You should get going and get your prescription, may as well start as soon as you can,” He encouraged

I nodded, picking up the prescription and tucking my new ID into my pocket for now, before heading out of his office and towards the pharmacy - letting out a small whoop of happiness once I was outside, unable to contain my joy any longer.

***

I eventually got home, new medication in claw, and slid out of my clothes in a deluge of slime, leaping into the chair and reforming once I hit it, placing the medication before me on my desk. There were two more this time, in addition to my now lowered dose of my slime hrt, the first one’s purpose clear in its name: ‘Varimorphisone’ - that was the one that would actually let me properly shapeshift. The other had been both unexpected and less clear on its purpose, ‘Physodrone’. The only information I could find was that it was a required medicine alongside Varimorphisone, acting as some kind of stabiliser for it. Regardless, if this was what I needed to finally make myself a polymorph, then that’s what I’d do! 

“Shapeshifting, here I come!” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, slime hrt is over! Thanks for joining me on this gooey journey :D, it was a big ol' finale, but I had fun writing this. I say it's over, but I do have plans for some side stories (most of which do take place after the 24 month mark, but we'll see what falls out of my core) which will be slime oriented, so we're not quite done with the goo yet! Not to mention the supplimental part that was requested in the story, so plenty of goo times yet to come! Also, I am not done with this story, as you might've guessed from the text, next up is polymorph/shapeshifter hrt! Also, for those who want it here is a blank version of the ID i made, both provisional and complete. If ya do use 'em it'd be nice if you could credit me (although the idea of the shapeshifting licence ofc belongs to @darkmagenugget/@nuggetofthesea)

And for those wondering about how to fill it in, I did make a rough guide while working out how it was gonna work here, which includes the options for sources (what allows you to shapeshift), and a link to a doc that I worked on listing the various types of shapeshifter. If your D.O.B is weird, e.g. from before 0 AD, just slap a BCE on the end of the D.O.B (for anything more eccentric, you'll have to work it out yourself) Thanks to those who helped with easing my worries about some passages of this, and checking over the licence design, and my partner @kanithedemoncat for doing a grammar and spell check for me before I posted another one with various mistakes that they find after the fact But yeah, hopefully you've all enjoyed slime hrt so far, and I hope you'll enjoy whats to come!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First - Prev - Next Side Story 1 - Monster Tag list under cut (lmk if ya wanna be added)

@calliecwrites, @friedsputnik, @now-entering-the-goop-zone, @scrubbinn, @lilacinthefog,

@mint-and-authoress, @losttodreams, @redroversendjayover, @ariathelamia, @kanithedemoncat

[thesupreme316]

hi i was wondering if you could do aew boys reacting to you getting injured this is my first request. i love you storys🩷

OF COURSE SWEETHEART and thank you so much for the kind words

AEW Stars React to You Getting Injured:

Pairings: Hook X Reader, Eddie Kingston X Reader, Dante Martin X Reader, Ricky Starks X Reader, MJF X Reader, Kenny Omega X Reader, Daniel Garcia X Reader

Word Count: 1.1K

Supreme Speaks: hiiiiii...sorry for the spam for the past couple of days (just wanna get these requests out and make room for more)...THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND LOVE. thank you to @aew190 for the request. also the reader is unspecified so gender neutral (tailor it to your liking). Please remember that you are loved and appreciated.

Warning: not proofread

Taglist: @wwenhlimagines @hooks-martin @aew190 @hookerforhook @sheinthatfandom @eddie-kingstons-wifey

Backstory:

You were in a match (with an opponent of your choosing)

You were about to attempt a diving move (or signature move)

But then your opponent countered it; causing you to slip and hit your shoulder first extremely hard

You felt immediate pain and laid on the mat for a little bit as the ref checked on you

You decided to continue the match and you won, making the crowd cheer

Clutching your shoulder, you were able to walk yourself to the back where your boyfriend/best friend sat

Hook:

Man is worried; but it’s concerning to those around him

Like this man has not moved, blinked, nothing since you took that bump

Even though it wasn’t that bad of a bump, you dislocated your shoulder

He just kept looking at how you clutched your arm in pain

Hook lightly hugged your other side and whispered “As long as you’re okay, everything is fine.”

This man would be the best nurse; you never would have to lift a damn finger

Hook carries your bags, has all your favorite drinks and snacks in his bookbag, and never complains

Gives frequent updates to The Lads

“They lifted their arm today….to throw a pillow at me. But still, progress.”

Will help you gain your strength through workouts and therapy

Eddie Kingston:

Man is worried but he runs around like a chicken with his head cut off

Cussing everyone and they momma out, “Fuck you, fuck you, hi Ishii, and FUCK YOU CLAUDIO”

After figuring out the injury was not as bad as it could have been, Eddie immediately becomes that nurse that will do their job while complaining

You: Can you help me put this hoodie on?

Eddie: Oh my gawd, you are so needy….but yeah fo sure I gotchu

He doesn’t like to see you in pain; will distract you with old wrestling or him just going off about people

Despite him saying that he doesn’t like you or want to help you, he will never leave your side and will do anything to comfort you during this

(Man will tell jokes but never lies)

Will act like everything he does is no problem or it means nothing, but it does mean something to both you and him

Is secretly planning for revenge

Kenny Omega:

THIS SWEETHEART WOULD BE CRUSHED

His heart would literally fall apart as he realized what happened

Keeps watching the match to make sure nothing else happens

When you come backstage, he already talked to Tony about taking you off TV for a little bit

Gives you all the time and attention in the world

Wears your merch for support

Gets online to find a specialist for your injury

Will not leave your side; Kenny might actually move into your house temporarily to help out

“Why the hell is all your cups so damn high? This is not safe for a short injured demon like yourself.”

Kenny will spend all his days playing video games with you, helping you around the house, and getting you back in shape for the ring

All to make sure that you’re okay and safe

Daniel Garcia:

Okay; hear me out

Man would freak out and then once learning that your injury is not that severe, would turn up

I’m talking man would act like you’re not hurt and drag you to every social gathering he could

Shit might throw you a recovery party

“One club, another club, another club, brunch, another club.”

It’s his way of comforting you; as a person who was injured, he was deprived of socializing with others

He doesn’t want that for you; he wants you to recognize that just because of your injuries, doesn’t mean that you have to miss out on your friends

Will do anything if you ask him though

Daniel will also FaceTime you a lot so that you’re not missed throughout the locker room;

“Everyone say hi to Y/N, now everyone boo them cause they're not here.”

Ricky Starks:

Man is worried at first because he’s fought numerous injuries before

More or so worried about the aftermath of it for you; doesn’t want you to get left behind

Instantly thinks of ways for you to be on TV without being in the ring and pitches them on your behalf

Ricky: So then, Y/N interrupts them and is like “Hell No” like Brandi to Jade

TK: Ricky I-

Ricky: Wait your turn…..jackass

Is forever right beside you in case you need anything; doesn’t want you to feel alone

Will go with you to all your consultations and stuff, bring you all your favorite food and stuff

I also think Ricky would be the one to stop everything just to check on you; where it’s over the phone or in person

Also, if you have a cast or a brace, Ricky will bedazzle it in your sleep

Dante Martin:

THIS BABY

HE SUCH A BABY

As he is injured and his brother suffered from numerous injuries, he was instantly feeling bad for you

Lets you know that you are not alone

Sits backstage with you as The Lads got matches and storylines; talks about anything and nothing

I think (because of the fact Dante and I were born in the same year) Dante would definitely be cracking jokes about this

“At least we got each other during this. I got one leg and you got one arm, we’re practically one full person.”

Dude will do anything to make you smile;

Feels more content and happy with you beside him

Ya’ll are constantly pushing each other to go to physical therapy and recovery

if ya’ll weren’t dating beforehand, you definitely are now

MJF:

Instantly roasts you on Twitter

….Idk why you expected anything else…

Anyways, he would definitely take care of you by giving care and attention

While roasting you to your face; you are never safe from this man’s wrath

“You look like death…..NO YOU LIKE OPTIMUS PRIME WHEN HIS ARM GOT SLICED OFF AHAHA”

Will buy you unnecessary and extreme items for your recovery; but claims that he needs the state-of-the-art towel warmer (really it's for you)

ALSO the man will buy you a Burberry scarf and tell you it’s a fake, but it's actually real

I think he genuinely feels bad that you are injured and will try to make your life easier during this time in his own way

If he can’t be there for you, he’s bringing you on the road to keep an eye on you; will never leave you alone tbh

To others, Max just doesn’t really care for you but you and him both know that he’s trying his best and that’s all that matters

[homunculus-argument]

i feel like for me personally, what helped me find a perfect match was seeking out a therapist that specializes in my flavor of Fucked Up and employs treatment styles that sounded compatible. my current therapist is well versed in trauma therapy and has done individual and family therapy, and uses the inner family systems model to approach trauma treatment. it also helps that her introduction mentioned her past work in the foster care system, which i was in; her view on the good and bad sides of foster care system helps validate and understand the specific issues that i struggle with having spent 5 years in a foster home during teenage years. of course, if you're having trouble pinning down what kind of treatment you're looking for, that might not be too helpful. but shopping around and trying to feel out whether their career history and values align with your past and identity might make developing a professional relationship easier sailing. there's also no shame in shopping for therapists. there are quite a few helpful lists online with questions to ask on the first meeting, before the whole thing is set in stone. at least for me, we had an introductory meeting a couple months before her time slot would open up for me, and it was during that meeting that we decided whether we want to continue with it. good luck to your anon, i hope this was at least a bit helpful

Yep, pretty much this. If you know what your specific problem is, seek for a therapist who specialises in that problem. If you don't know what your issue is about, you can keep trying different therapists until it gets clearer what the issue is.

[suekre]

My next OC for retrOCtober isn't exactly idiotverse related. I mean, he kinda is, but I'll get to that, eventually! 😂

This boy's name is Lukas, and I came up with him waaaayyyy back in the early 2000s, I'd say. He was my main protagonist in an RP I was writing with an old online friend back then, and we didn't start out with Lukas and the gang, he was already part of our "Next Generation" at the time - ah well, it's all a little hard to explain. The setting was still in good old Germany and it was basically your average, age-appropriate school drama, spiced with over-the-top drama for our characters aaaand whatnot, yadda yadda, blaaah blaaah.

Long ass explanation and soul searching under the cut:

Lukas kinda embodied every boy I couldn't have back then. I was never a shy kid, but for some reason my old friends abandoned me after we switched schools after 6th grade, and I wasn't able to make new friends either. All of a sudden, I was was rendered "uncool", I became the unpopular girl who went unseen by most, even by her own family. I am currently working through all this in therapy, so I won't get into that here; all we need to know is that my school years were mostly awful and I also didn't get my happy end at the end of the teen movie. The reality was cold and hard. No one really wanted me around most of the time. I was tolerated at best. It was a simple as that.

Back to this boy, though. As I said, Lukas was everything I ever yearned for. He was the type of guy I was crushing on HARD back in my teenage years, but he also represented a lifestyle I was craving. He was one of the happy-go-lucky and cool alternative rock guys, with that slight brush of arrogance and aloofness, not too much but juuuust enough to make him endearing and interesting. It was the shaggy hair for me, as well as the cool clothes, always a bit shabby but never too shabby; just shabby enough to look wonderfully effortless. The type of guy who hung out with the slim, cool and confident girls (I was very chubby back then. Not a problem, you say? Yeah, no, try being a chubby teenage girl in the early 2000s.), who was always surrounded by friends, who everyone just knew and liked!

The type of guy I could only admire from a distance. A Lukas would never have looked my way, not even for a second.

That RP was fun for a good while, but things went downhill at some point, the way my friend wanted things to go was quite different from what I wanted. Even back then I wanted to weave in details, flesh out side characters, write actual character development… all things my friend didn't care about, she only wanted to play the main couples and that just no longer sat well with me after a while. These poor fictional people were barely in their twenties and had already faced lifelong drama, had several kids, faced gun violence… everything that could happen had happened to these young characters already. Everything, and a lot more. It was just FAR too unrealistic for my own taste.

I wasn't allowed to bring my own original ideas in, which is why I started molding and shaping our universe to my own liking. All in secret, of course. I scrapped most of the ridiculous things that had happened in the RP, rewrote the things I still liked and started writing the things I was never allowed to write. One by one, I scrapped/remodeled/replaced my friend's characters, too. Did that for a while, and it was fun in a way, but at the time (2007, 2008??) I had also discovered deviantart and wanted to be a part of that. I twisted and tweaked my universe here and there, but nothing would really fit or flow enough for me to say "Yup, that's it, that's what I'm gonna show the world!" so I went with various fanart for a while.

(I feel like mentioning that there was also a blue-eyed Lukas at some point, an alternate version of him who was basically the same person, and the universe had about the same tone, but he had a different circle of friends and everything was entirely free from the influence of the RP but that's a different story. 😂)

In 2008 or 2009 I discovered Tess Stone and his awesome work. I was drawn in first by his attempted webcomic "Without Void", but then he started writing "Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name" and maaaan, did that comic hit hard! The way it became popular, the way countless people were following it, bombarding Tess with questions and inquiries; and the way Tess managed to show his characters in all those funky and colourful artworks, the way he did all this so effortlessly… damn, I wanted that, too. I wanted it so bad. The comic and the ongoing hype really inspired me to try and get my own stuff out there.

My universe just kinda wasn't it, at least not the way it still was back then. I had enjoyed working on and off on it in private, but it never felt enough and it also never felt quite like "my own". Even though I had dropped most influences of my friend (the friendship was long over at the time), it still didn't feel quite right.

So Lukas and the others went through some changes, again. First of all, I went international. Lukas himself was still German, but he was now an immigrant living in the USA. I tried to make a supernatural world with zombies, I tried writing vampires and whatnot… ugh, I tried so many things but nothing really stuck with me. At some random point I had an idea, quite out of the blue, I think. I wanted to keep Lukas in the universe, but not the way he used to be. I had tried everything after all, but nothing really worked out. My gaze fell on his daughter instead, who was still a child in my then-universe.

That child was none other than my character Charlie. I aged Charlie up, she was now a 20-year-old college kid. I gave her her own environment, and I kept Lukas and the gang as the "first generation". And all of a sudden, I was hooked. I was in it for real this time. Everything just started coming to me. The experimental season 1 of my universe was born.

SO, in a way, that kid up there is THE original idiotverse character. The one everything else stemmed from. He was SO deserving of this redraw, I'd say. 😂

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Heya, I don't plan to talk about it much but due to what happened with forever, who was my fav and really the heart of the project for me, I'm probably not going to post about Qsmp much anymore. Or if I do, it'll take a while. But please read if you're in the same boat as me, its kind of a ramble and you can skip certain parts but I'd like to hear your thoughts. The last couple of paragraphs touch on some stuff that I hope can help be worth your while, whether you're here for the Qsmp stuff or the mental health part.

Now this is absolutely not to say the rest of the project doesn't matter or that people should give up on it. The Qsmp is incredible and should be known for what it has achieved: breaking language barriers and uniting communities. Its wonderful, unique, and still has so much to offer in terms of content creation, so please don't let the whole of it be tarnished for what happened with one creator (we've seen that before already and it sucks). Personally, it got me back into streaming content/mcyt and I'd like to stay more present this time, its so much fun and its nice knowing I can sort of drift back and forth when new things pop up. If you're in the same boat, I encourage you to not feel like its all over immediately if you still feel a passion for this kind of work, maybe you won't get back into it but maybe you just need a bit of time. Whatever you feel, as long as you're happy and having fun you're doing it right.

So, personal feelings (which I suck at but its better than bottling my thoughts and I encourage others to do the same). I'm fucking devastated lmao. His character was my absolute hyperfixation, I'm talking 24/7 brainrot for months. I haven't felt this passionate for a character since dsmp, I honestly didn't know I could still do it. But there's another layer. I live in the U.S., and I'm Brasilian-American. In the U.S., you don't hear anyone saying shit about Brasil. You hear a lot about Mexico, but nothing really south of that, and if you do its usually about sexualizing Brasilian women or narcotics and gang stuff. Not the best representation for little me, admittedly. When you-know-who won the Qsmp Election, y'all I felt something in me spark to life that I hadn't felt since we won the Olympic soccer tournament in Rio in 2016. I'm proud to be Brasilian, I've always been proud of it, but its a pride that's been limited to sports and my own personal experiences. To see myself represented, to see Brasil naturally enter the conversation for a piece of media I loved that I didn't know would have us, and to see us win something, phew, shit got me higher than my wisdom tooth removal. We Brasilians banded together to secure the win, and what's more, my fav cc on the project was the one at the center. I felt so happy, for my country, my community, and for myself. And I know recent events might taint that memory for some of us, but I refuse to look back on my feelings from back then negatively. That was one of the best damn moments in my chronically online life, and I will always remember it with pride and joy, along with the many other moments when this wonderful server made me proud to be me.

So, naturally, when the news hit I was pretty fucked up over it. Still am tbh, but better now that I've had sleep (though it took me a while to fall asleep because of course my sleep gets ruined by bad feelings, bleh). All this to ultimately say it sucks. Like, it really fucking sucks. The anxiety, the disappointment, the sadness, and the uncertainty of "what now?". Might be sounding dramatic but again, 24/7 brainrot/serotonin supply for months that connected me to my culture abruptly cut off because of pedophile allegations. C'mon Satan, I already have to go to therapy, you didn't have to kick this horse while it was down. Joking aside, if you feel as absolute dogshit as I do and have that kind of anxiety where the world feels like its about to end because moments like these leave you with the rug pulled out from under you and the uncertainty leaves you not knowing what to do with your life after this... well, welcome to the boat, bathroom's on the lower deck and snacks are in the lobby. And also I'm here, and everyone else who's been left in the same crummy place emotionally. We're here together, and I hope that can help you, cause I know for me the worst part is feeling alone in it all, but I'm not, and neither are you. We're here, holding hands and cursing existence for putting us here and making us so sensitive and giving us something great only for it to end up hurting us. We're here, and if you wanna say anything, my DMs, comments, asks, whatever you'd want to talk through, are all open.

Now comes the hardest part: acknowledgement and playing the waiting game. Like I said, if you're feeling like me, this kind of anxiety and disappointment has you feeling like its all over. So now's when you gotta remind yourself that the only thing that's over is this moment in your life when you enjoyed a Thing. That Thing can have meant a lot to you, it could have gotten you out of really dark places, and it could be something you'll still think about down the line. It can be something like minecraft cube people that you (I) got way too emotionally attached to. And for whatever reason, that Thing could have meant the absolute world, whether other people would've understood it or not. Its not your fault it ended the way it did, life just does that sometimes, as unsatisfying of an answer as that is. But its true, and its an important lesson. The Thing is over.

You know what's not over though? You. You're life. Whatever the hell you are doing and will do in the future. If this was the best thing in your life you had going for you, I am so fucking sorry. You deserved to be happy with it, we both did. But I promise you, this Thing is a moment in your story, not the whole story. This really was the source of my joy for the past few months, and if its the same for you, I see you. We can feel like shit together, along with the rest of this wonderful community who understand it too. And you know what else we're gonna do? Live, and move on. Not now, maybe not for while, but we're human beings, we persist (sometimes that might look like you're dragging your battered self out of a trench smelling like depression and expired cheese, but you'll get out of the trench, we both will). There's too much to life for this to be what stops you from finding the rest, whether that's some dramatic life change that completely changes the world as you know it for the better... or just figuring out what comes next. Taking a shower, watching that movie you were waiting for the right moment to watch (I'd say this qualifies), setting up a therapy appointment maybe. Whatever you do to feel like a person again, you have that to do, and later down the road you'll have new Things that give it all meaning. So keep yourself going, hit up me or others who would get it, and do what you gotta do to let it pass. Because it will pass.

Deep breaths friend, I'll be cheering for you when it does

[patdkoala]

Get it Out of Your System

Pairing: Dean Winchester x female reader Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, unprotected p in v, multiple orgasms, mentions of death, pet names (baby) Summary: You and Dean go after a lead down in Louisiana but things get pretty steamy

Dean and you are close but not close enough to be called besties. Just enough to be hunting buddies. You hunt with Sam and Dean all the time. Every so often, you'll bud out so that Cas can join in.

Today, it's just you and Dean.

"There are people dying in pairs down in Louisiana. Neighbors spoke of hearing screaming and, uh-" Dean stopped talking and cleared his throat as he looked up at you.

"And what?" "Moans before it finally stopped."

"Are we sure these people died and didn't just climax too hard?" You asked as Dean laughed and then showed you the news article online. "Well, that's what a lot of these neighbors assumed too until they noticed that they hadn't come outside in weeks. Turns out they died and were sitting in their homes rotting for weeks," Dean said as you gagged a little.

"So what, these people are dying by murder on their one lucky night?" You asked as Dean smirked. "I don't think it's that simple but it does look like something to check out. I'll get baby ready."

"Okay, I'll pack up."

You both headed to Louisiana and first checked out the neighbors of the first victims.

"So, how do you two know Tony and JJ?" Mrs. Fizzbit asked as Dean and you looked at each other and realized you still weren't set in stone on your fake story.

"We met in couple's therapy," You said as Mr. Fizzbit eyed you suspiciously. "We didn't know Tony and JJ were in couple's therapy but I guess that explains, uh- what happened that night before they passed," He said as you smiled at Dean in an uncomfortableness.

"Yeah, well. Everyone has their secrets," Dean said as you smiled at him in a comfortable state now.

You and Dean learned that every couple who died had visited the same woman that gave them some sex tips to brighten their marriage.

So of course, you and Dean went to visit her.

Again, with no real background story.

"Why hello. What a gorgeous young couple," The woman said as Dean and you laughed that off. "Oh, no we aren't-" Dean started but you cut him off.

"Sexually active anymore. My husband hasn't touched me for months," you said as Dean side-eyed you. "I haven't?" He questioned as she looked at him. "Right. I haven't. We just don't have that, uh- zing anymore," He said as you were now the one side-eyeing him.

"Well, I have just the thing for you two," She said as she handed you a bag that looked like just a bedazzled version of a witch's hex bag but you didn't think much of it.

"Go home, brew some tea. And talk through your issues while this bag steeps in the tea," She instructed as Dean and you listened intently.

You went back to the motel and did as instructed with the bag.

"So, maybe our bad guy is a djin traveling through people's minds and killing them for being celibate?" Dean chuckled as you poured him a cup of the sex tea.

"What we are going to do is drink this tea and find out if either this woman is our witch or if she is just drugging people and then breaking in and murdering them," You said as Dean pushed his cup away.

"Shouldn't one of us be 'sober' then if we are seriously going to drink this crap?" He asked as you rolled your eyes. "You just don't want to drink this," You said as he smiled sheepishly at you.

"Fine. I'll drink it and you either have to kill me or kill whatever is going to try and kill me," You said as you chugged the drink.

"And? How do you feel?" He asked as you shrugged. "I don't know. Pretty much the same, honestly," you said as Dean stood up and just the right amount of his underwear was visible when he stood and his shirt lifted.

You stared and watched him rub his face. His arm flexed and it was so sexy. You felt something in between your legs get damp. You knew what was happening. You looked up at Dean in a feat of sweat and hormonal fear.

"Dean, the woman. She's a witch and she drugged me. We have to go back and find her. Get her to give me the remedy."

He nodded and then you both ran to the car and headed back to the sex shop.

"What did you do?" Dean yelled as he bust the door down and behind him walked a very horny and very drugged (Y/N).

You couldn't keep your eyes off Dean.

"I thought this is what you two wanted, to spice up the new marriage," She asked as Dean revealed his gun.

"Yeah, well. I lied. I tend to do that," He said as he aimed the gun at her head.

"Now, fix her, or I put a bullet between your eyes."

"Wait!" She yelped as you just stood behind Dean watching him in amazement. He was so handsome standing up for you like this.

"Is she the only one that drank the tea?" She asked with her hands raised above her head. "Yeah, so?" "She will die if she doesn't uh- get it out of her system. I promise I will leave you two be after," the woman said to Dean as he smiled his smug smile at her.

"Don't worry, I believe you," He said as he then fired the gun and she fell to the ground.

Obviously, her death did nothing to you because all you could muster up to say to Dean after witnessing him murder a woman in cold blood was, "That was so fucking hot."

"Okay, so maybe she was right and the only thing to do is uhm- get it-" "Out of my system. Yeah, I heard her say that too."

You and Dean went back to the motel. The entire car ride was silent. "Let's hit up a bar. I need to find me a man so that I don't die tonight," You said as Dean pulled into the parking lot of the motel. "No, what if you just end up dead anyway on some random guy?" He said as you turned to look at him.

"Is that the only reason, Dean Winchester doesn't want me to go home with some rando?" You asked as he just looked at you like you were crazy. Which of course, right now you were.

"No, I just think you'd be safer with me right now," He said as you smiled at the thought of Dean caring about you while you are in a life-or-death situation.

You and Dean walked into the motel and you sat on your bed and Dean sat on his. Not even facing each other. Sitting on opposite sides of the beds.

"So, what do we do then? Just wait for me to die?" You asked as Dean sighed.

"Get on your knees," He said as your breath hitched in your chest.

"Oh, yeah. Praying sounds like a great idea right now. But I don't know what Chuck is going to do about this given fact that he hates me and you," You rambled as you got down on the floor and got on your knees.

You heard Dean get off of the bed and walk over to you. He stood in front of you and lifted your head to look up at him. He then got on the floor on his knees in front of you.

He pulled you into a kiss and his hands held you at the base of your back and cupped your ass. He held your body so close to his as you two made out on the floor.

He then stood up and he then took off his clothes which made you then take off all of your clothes.

You couldn't stop staring at his toned chest and his arms and how they made the bulge in his pants look small.

He watched as you took off all of your clothes and then you sat on the bed and pulled him closer to you by the hem of his underwear. He smirked at how fast your hands traveled down to his underwear.

"I need you," You said as he leaned down to kiss you and hovered over you.

"I know, baby," He said as you moaned into his touch.

He pulled your panties off for you since you had seemed to forget that part of the whole having sex bit. He then slid a finger inside of you and with such little force you were practically melting under him.

You tugged on his boxers as he was still hovering over you while he left hickeys all over your neck and chest.

He then pushed himself in you as you held onto his back and left scratches and bruises all over him. He left a giant hickey on your left tit as you left one on his neck only a few seconds later.

You were both moaning and screaming under and over each other. He soon let you know he was close and you had already cum three times. At this point, you knew you weren't going to die since you had 'gotten it out of your system' through and through.

After he came, in you might I add because Dean Winchester doesn't care, he held you to his chest and you fell asleep.

Dean couldn't sleep. Not till you were both back in Kansas just because he was still worried about your passing.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for pursuing a relationship with the person my ex accused me of cheating with?

I am extremely mentally ill. I won't spend time listing them all, but I got medicated and I feel relatively stable. I've struggled with addiction in the past, but have been clean for a year and a half at this point.

My last relationship was not a good one. This girl, we'll call her Emma, was dating my best friend. I was on their first date (it was a group thing because they met online) but my friend ended it with her after the third or fourth date. Emma asked if we could still be friends, and I said of course, but she quickly started making moves towards me. I don't think she ever really liked me in particular, because we were barely compatible, as much as she liked the idea of a partner. It just so happened that she was looking for the idea of a partner at the same time that I was feeling lonely and looking for some vindication. It all moved incredibly fast and about a week later, she was officially my girlfriend.

I was pretty much completely disassociated throughout the entire relationship, which lasted about four months, and I ignored her off and on. I was super shitty to her, and I've apologized for this thoroughly since the breakup. However, she was also kind of shitty to me. She was constantly jealous about people in my life, accusing me of cheating on her. She was especially jealous of one friend I had, who we'll call Cameron, because Cameron acted as my love interest in a production I was in (I'm an actor). I always get a little attached to the people who play my love interests, but I dismissed it as nothing but our characters. I assured her I hadn't cheated, and she even went through my phone a couple times (without my permission) and found nothing.

Anyways we finally broke up about half a year ago, and decided we were much better as friends. She's still in my life, and we're both doing much better in terms of mental health. We both apologized to each other for all of our shitty behavior.

However, recently, I've gotten a lot closer with Cameron. I realized that my feelings for them may not have been "showmance"-induced. I just don't want to ruin the fragile friendship I've broached with Emma. It wouldn't be anything serious, as I'm not sure I'm okay enough for that, but I do really like them. I also kind of want to see if I'm capable of using the tactics I learned in therapy, or if I'll always be shitty.

It feels like a bad idea, so it probably is. But, WIBTA if I pursued a relationship that I know would piss Emma off?

[ckret2]

How are ford and dipper interacting with Bill. (especially after their ptsd due to how he hurt them)

So "how are they interacting with Bill OVERALL" is a big question—and one i've already touched on in a couple previous asks—so to shrink the question to manageable size, I'm gonna interpret this one more as "talk about any Bill-related trauma Ford and Dipper might have and how seeing him again impacts it."

I actually don't think either of them necessarily developed PTSD (although Ford has worse odds). Not because they didn't go through traumatic experiences thanks to Bill, but rather just because not everyone who goes through a traumatic experience develops PTSD. Some excerpts from the National Institute of Mental Health:

It is important to remember that not everyone who lives through a dangerous event develops PTSD. In fact, most people will not develop the disorder.

Many factors play a part in whether a person will develop PTSD. Risk factors make a person more likely to develop PTSD. Other factors, called resilience factors, can help reduce the risk of the disorder.

Some factors that may promote recovery after trauma include:

Seeking out support from other people, such as friends and family

Finding a support group after a traumatic event

Learning to feel good about one’s own actions in the face of danger

Having a positive coping strategy, or a way of getting through the bad event and learning from it

Being able to act and respond effectively despite feeling fear

The Pines are part of a close knit family that shared in Weirdmageddon, and 3/4 of them were puppeted, hurt, and/or manipulated by Bill and can commiserate. They also have friends in Gravity Falls they can talk to about their Bill experiences. Although Ford and Dipper are ashamed of being fooled by Bill in the past, even during the course of the show they started helping each other process that; and all four of them have reason to be proud of how they faced Weirdmageddon. They all ultimately responded to their fears by taking action. The family's in a good position to get through the aftermath with minimal lingering trauma!

The biggest potential issues are their physical isolation from their support network, and Gravity Falls' Never Mind All That Act hampering people from talking with each other; but if you assume they're still regularly talking with each other on phone or online and that people are still willing to talk in private amongst friends about Weirdmageddon, I think they can get around the majority of those issues. (Plus, realistically, the Never Mind All That Act would hamper recovery from trauma; but since it was clearly intended to be a funny cartoon joke about life going back to normal, I don't want to narratively treat it like a serious thing with serious consequences.)

(I'm also on the fence about headcanoning whether Dipper & Mabel tell their parents; Dipper spends most of summer trying to tell the nearest adult relative all about the weird stuff in Gravity Falls and Mabel immediately writes to mom & dad about the new gruncle that came out of a magic portal, I don't see why they'd stop that when they get home. Odds the parents get the kids therapy is like 90% but odds they'd let the kids go back next summer is 5% so... *makes a weighing scales gesture*)

So I think they'll get through with minimal trauma-trauma. But the scars of the incident can show on them in ways other than full-blown PTSD.

The worst of it Dipper experiences is nightmares. Sometimes about Bill, sometimes about being stuck outside his body while it sleeps below. Admittedly, nothing to sneeze at; few things are more terrifying than waking up, disoriented and in the dark, from a nightmare about a guy who can actually invade nightmares—you can spend the next half hour asking yourself "what if it was real?" But if you've got a sister in the next room to reassure you it wasn't real and a grunkle in a weird time zone you can call at 3 am to hear he's had similar dreams for thirty years and they never meant anything... eventually a half hour of fear becomes five minutes of fear and the dreams become annoying instead of terrifying.

If anything, being in the Shack with Bill helps Dipper deal with the nightmares—it's reassuring to be able to wake up from a Bill nightmare, bellow "GET OUT OF MY DREAMS YOU FREAK," and hear back from the floor below, "I'M NOT IN YOUR DREAMS, I'M WATCHING TURNER CLASSIC MOVIES WITH ABUELITA."

Even his dreams about out-of-body experiences have decreased since coming back to the shack—that's probably a sign of healing, right?

(One of the things Bill plans never to admit to the humans: he still has a sizable amount of dream-related magic, and he's started shoving Dipper's soul back in his body whenever Bill sees him astral projecting because he's sick of getting blamed for Dipper's "nightmare" when he wakes up.)

Between Dipper and Ford, Ford's the most likely to actually get PTSD—specifically because at the outset, he got the least emotional support. After he found out Bill's motives, he was trapped alone in his house for weeks, afraid that the world could end if he fell asleep, until the point that he was hallucinating Bill in other people's eyes—if it was a hallucination.

That extreme sleep deprivation, that paranoia, that terror, and most of all that isolation from any support—THAT sure could trigger PTSD.

But Ford's had thirty years to process that, all while traveling through a multiverse full of people like "oh, THAT Bill Cipher? Oh yeah we totally sympathize, that's the exact kind of thing that guy would do." Getting dumped into the multiverse probably gave him a better shot of healthily processing the experience than he could have had on Earth. (Note that he's not checking people's eyeballs when he gets home from the multiverse.)

On the other hand, I do believe he's got some noteworthy trauma from thirty years in the multiverse, but never mind that! (You could arguably call that "caused" by Bill—but I don't think interacting with Bill conjures up memories of traumatic multiversal travels for Ford. He didn't see Bill during those 30 years. His mind sorts them in different boxes.)

The biggest negative psychological impact Bill left on Ford is trust issues. When he first returned to Gravity Falls, that was more global—TRUST NO ONE. Those trust issues have shrunk a lot—now it's just "don't trust Bill." Bill could tell Ford the sky is blue, and he'd have to go look to make sure Bill isn't trying to keep Ford from finding out that the sky's turned pink.

Upside: this makes it almost impossible for Bill to mess with Ford's head. Ford is all but mess-proof. Everything Bill says carries zero weight with him. Downside: this makes it almost impossible for them to carry on a conversation.

(Bill's the only one who considers this a downside. He's looking for a way to twist Ford into regretting not listening to Bill. Maybe the next time the kids are in trouble, he'll go tell Ford first, and then he can feel all self-righteous when Ford feels all guilty about brushing Bill off and not helping the kids.)

[reigningqueenofwords]

Honesty

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Bucky x daughter!Reader

Part 25 of Looking for the Captain

Your morning with Nat went so well. At first, you kept looking over your shoulder, though. She understood, and would let you slowly remember that it was over. It took a bit, but after a bit you were less jumpy. After the two of you got breakfast, you went to get a new phone (as yours had been blown up), a new phone case, and then opted for some retail therapy.

“Oh, that’s a cute store.” You pointed about ten minutes after you left the phone store. “Have you ever been there?” 

She shook her head. “No. I usually order my stuff online, or go to some upscale place when we have events.” She shrugged. “Let’s go check it out.” None of the people taking her picture seemed to be bothering her at all, and you hoped to one day reach that level of unbothered. It was beautiful. 

Opening the door, you held it open for her before stepping in behind her. “It’s even cuter inside.” You gushed. “I may have a new favorite store.” Your eyes drifted to the baby section for a split second before the two of you made your way to the women’s section. “Not that I need an excuse for new clothes, this is a good excuse to replace my clothes that I’d brought to the cabin.” You chuckled, starting to look at the shirts. “I should surprise dad by ordering the games he bought while we were there. So we can play them at the tower, too. We had a lot of fun.”

“That’s true.” She nodded. “That would be fun. I’m trying to picture him playing a board game, and it’s hard.” 

“He’s a sore loser.” You laughed. “He asked if I was a mean little shit playing Candy Land as a kid. Told him that was Chutes and Ladders.” At least you’d have those fond memories of the cabin, even if it was gone. 

Nat laughed, holding up a dress. “I think you’d look cute in this.” She noted. 

“Oh, Rogers, you are in for a treat!” Nat announced as the two of you got back to the tower and saw Steve waiting. You blushed lightly, but she just grinned. “A few little new bits that fit in a tiny bag, and a couple new dresses.” 

“Gross.” Bucky made a face from the side, where you hadn’t even noticed him. 

She snorted. “Maybe make yourself known next time, Barnes.” She shrugged, clearly unbothered. Turning to you, she gave you a side hug. “We need to do this again soon. I had a lot of fun.” 

You hugged her back easily. “Of course. I’d really like that.” There was something about her that screamed ‘older sister’ or ‘fun aunt’ that was a comfort for you. “Maybe one of these nights we can have a spa sleepover with Wanda.” 

“Yes! I’ll start planning and buying.” She gave the guys a wave before heading towards the elevator. 

“I’m glad you had fun, doll.” Steve told you, taking your bags. “How was your bagel?” 

“So good! I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow for another.” You chuckled. “Oh, I also got a new phone.” As you told him, you pulled it out to show him. “I’m so glad I had backed up my iCloud yesterday morning, so I didn’t really lose any pictures.” It would have sucked because you had some super cute ones of Steve and Goliath on there. “How was the tower?” 

“Good. Took Goliath for a walk. He’s passed out in the lab at Bruce’s feet.” He chuckled. “What sounds good for lunch? Figured we can order and eat on my floor. Maybe the three of us can watch a movie?” He glanced at Bucky, wondering how things would go once he found out the truth. 

You thought for a moment. “How does Chinese sound? We couldn’t get that at the cabin.” Which meant it had been too long since you’d had any. “That okay, dad?” You asked, looping him into the conversation. 

“Sure, kid.” He agreed easily. “We can order it after we drop your bags off in your room.” A small part of him was worried that now that the three of you were back in the tower…your bonding would slow down or stall. 

As the elevator rose, you got excited. “Oh, maybe a couple times a week we can order lunch and then watch a movie?” You looked between them, truly hoping you could do that. “We can all take turns picking the movie?”

Steve loved how excited you looked at the idea. “Of course. I can agree to that. Maybe we can show her some movies from our time, Buck.” He glanced at him, getting excited himself. 

Bucky chuckled at the looks on your faces. “Like you won’t choose movies you’ve heard Y/N mention.” He teased. “But, I would like that, too.” It would be something to always look forward to. 

“Yay!” You clapped. “This will be so much fun.” 

The guys shared an amused look. 

You, Steve, and Bucky were sitting around the table when you took a deep breath. You’d just sat down with your food and didn’t want to put it off anymore. “So…” You started. “I’m pregnant.” 

Bucky froze while Steve glanced at him. “You did look at the test?” He asked. 

Sighing, you shook your head and explained the same thing to him that you did with Steve. “I’ll be moving my things to his floor, too.” You added. 

Bucky clenched his jaw. “There’s more.” Steve told him, earning a death glare from him. 

“Of fucking coarse there is. You better not be telling you’re getting married, too!” He snapped, shocking you. 

“That hadn’t even crossed my mind…” You told him calmly, your cheeks a light pink color. 

Steve shook his head. “Nope. Not that.” He assured him. “I wanted to ask you to take over the role of Captain America.” His tone was calm, but you could tell he was nervous.

“You…what?!” He wasn’t sure that he’d heard him right. “You’re stepping down? And you want me to take over?” His eyes went between the two of you, then landed on you. “Did you suggest this?” His tone wasn’t exactly ‘angry’, but you couldn’t tell much beyond that. 

You shook your head. “No, I didn’t. Well, not entirely. He mentioned you wanting him to step down, and he thinks the world needs Captain America. I asked if he could pass on the shield, but pass it to someone less ‘perfect’ to the public eye. I asked if anyone came to mind. His first answer was you.” Would that mean a lot to him? Or would this somehow upset him?

Bucky blinked, taking your words in. Despite his past, and not even being in contact with Steve for years…he wanted him to take over as Captain America? “Why me?” He asked Steve quietly. 

Steve gave him a soft smile. “Why not you?” He countered, and you felt that spoke volumes. “If you say ‘no’, I won’t be mad. I promise.” He assured him. “But, can you think about it?” 

“Yeah, sure.” He nodded. “So, you’re stepping down for the baby?” 

“I am. I don’t know what my next step will be, though.” He said truthfully. “I think I’ll think more about that once I know who I’m passing the shield to.” It made the most sense to get that out of the way first. “I’ll look more into my options once that’s done.” It wasn’t like he would just quit being Captain America and not find some other way to support his little family. 

He let out a breath and sat back in his chair. “This will take some time for me to wrap my head around.” He told you. “I’m sorry I’m not excited or rushing to celebrate.” 

You shrugged a shoulder and gave him a sad smile. “I cried.” There was no use lying. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.” It was a huge deal. “I thought about all my options already, and I’m still grasping that I’ll have a tiny human.” It probably wouldn’t truly sink in until you saw it on the first ultrasound. “I’m telling the others over dinner.” 

“You don’t have to rush to tell them.” Bucky didn’t want you telling people before you felt ready. 

“Tony is planning a party for tonight. He knows me, and knows I would love to party. There’s no way to get around telling them.” You pointed out. “I have to be honest.” Picking up an egg roll, you took a bite. 

He looked down, then met Steve’s gaze. “Doll…” He started, and the tone of his voice was a sad one. “We need to be honest, too.” 

You looked between the pair of them, noting how the light in their eyes was dimmer than usual. “What’s going on?” There was no way you could begin to guess what they had to tell you. 

Bucky cleared his throat before speaking up. “Your mom didn’t make it when we attacked the base.” He told you, watching how his words hit you. “I’m sorry.” 

“D-did you kill her?” Would that make this worse? Better? 

“No. An explosion did.” He explained. “We didn’t know until we were sweeping for stragglers. I found her.” While he hadn’t seen her face to face since you were born, it had hit  him. His daughter’s mother was dead, and he had to be the one to tell you. “I asked the others not to tell you anything. I wanted to be the one to tell you.” 

Tearing up, you blinked your eyes quickly. “Uh, wow.” You sniffed. “Can you just pack my food up? I think I’d like to go be alone. I’ll see you guys at dinner.” Getting up, you patted your leg for Goliath to follow you. 

Neither man knew what to say and let you go.

Tagging:

@vicmc624 @hisredheadedgoddess28 @otterlycanadian

[prisonprocess]

The Adventure Begins

1.

Brendan M. says:

These days, everything happens online.  After I sold my company and took the profit, I lived at the lake house and basically didn’t need to go anyplace or see anybody.  After 12 years of corporate meetings, that was fine with me.  And there were plenty of online buddies to chat with.

My favorite was Blake.  He was into all the hot prison photos, sites, and stories.  We’d spend hours late at night, talking about how great it would be to “do prison,” as he put it, actually instead of virtually.  “No more role play.  Just real steel—the real deal.”  Nothing but uniforms, restraints, cellblocks, and being transported in big ugly buses (“diesel therapy”).  “Nothin but a number, Jack!  And you know what?  There’s an outfit that can put you there.  Just saw it online.”

That’s when he told me about Your Prison Profile.  A hot idea, of course—expensive, but they’d find a place for you in prison, and nobody would know how it happened.  When I contacted them, they put me through to Cody, a chill young guy who made everything easy.  I didn’t mind that he kept telling me to think about this or that, and we could talk about it tomorrow.  I really got off on thinking about my “requirements”: “which level of security is necessary for you,” “are you looking for hard labor,” “single cell, double cell, pod, or dorm,” and so on.  We did it all by online video, and I liked the look of Cody sitting at his desk and talking in a calm, level voice about what I wanted to “get out of” my “prison adventure.”  Blake and I spent every night imagining our way through the various options.  Next day I’d talk it over with Cody and click on the one I wanted.

Then in a couple of weeks Cody came online and told me, “Hey, based on the data you’re giving me, I found you a prison.  It’s the same security you wanted, same labor options, the whole nine yards.”  I was excited; I wanted to hit Blake up right away and tell him.  The problem was—this looked like my last visit with Cody.  He needed to know if I’d click on the box that said, yeah, I accept the offer.  Which I’d never intended to do.  I’d just wanted the fantasy.

I made up an excuse to go offline, and I got back to Blake.  “What do you mean?” he said.  “You don’t want to go through with it?”

I was ashamed to admit that I didn’t.  But I was so excited, I couldn’t let it go.  “Maybe for six months,” I said.

“Don’t be a wimp!” he replied.  “Besides, you can’t go to a real prison for six months.  They won’t let you in.  It has to be for at least a year.  You know that.  And what else are you doing that’s so important?”

“All right,” I said.  “I’ll tell him a year.”  By that time, I barely knew what I was saying, I was so turned on.

But when I got back to Cody, he said, “I’m sorry.  This is a serious facility.  They don’t do one-year sentences.  Try three.”

“Three?” I answered, like a dumb ass.

“Three years.  Or you can sign up for five or ten or fifteen or twenty.  But listen, if you’re having trouble making up your mind, you can do two to life.  That’s for first offenders who, like, did something pretty bad, but they’re still first offenders.  So if you’ve got a good record in the facility, they’ll let you out in two.  Otherwise, they can keep you.  You understand how that goes?”

“Right.  I understand.  I’ll get back to you.”

“Thanks.  But I gotta tell you, this offer won’t last long.”

“What do you mean?” Blake said.  “You’re not gonna turn that down, are you?  Two years from now, you’ll still be sittin on your deck, growin your fat ass, wishin you’d had enough stones to click that box.”

I spent a worried, sleepless, and very excited night, and the next day I got with Cody online and clicked the box that said Two Years to Life. 

After that it was easy.  I sent a check for 50K, and 5K more as a tip for Cody.  I made arrangements with my lawyer.  I leased my house.  I put my stuff in storage.  I waited for my order to report to prison.  When I got it, there were two weeks to go.  I spent them chatting with Blake and alternating between excitement and fear.  But I couldn’t deny what he said: “In fourteen days you’ll be livin the dream.”  Then it was ten, then five, then one, and I went online to say so long for the next two years.  For some reason, Blake wasn’t on.

Next morning I left the hotel where I’d been staying and took a taxi the 50 miles to the Regional Headquarters of the Department of Corrections, where I was supposed to turn myself in.  I don’t know what I was expecting, but all I saw was a dumpy little building with a walk-up window and a sign saying REPORT FOR IMPRISONMENT.  OK, that was straightforward.  I wished I’d seen that sign years before.  A twenty-year-old with ear rings was sitting on the other side of the glass.  “Driver’s license-Order to Report-cellphone.”  I’d never thought about that, but yes, I’d lose my phone.  I slid everything through the little slot in the window.  The young man tossed my phone to one side of the counter, where I could see it land on a pile of other cell phones.  Then he compared my license with my Order, pushed the Order back through the slot, and said, “Give this to the officer at the gate.  Next!”  I turned and saw that I was part of a line of other men, there to REPORT FOR IMPRISONMENT.

The officer at the gate, a fifty-something with a big gut, took my Order and beckoned me through.  “Face to the wall,” he said.  There was a brick wall on the left, and I put my face to it.  “Hands on your head.”  I put my hands on my head.  Then I heard the double click of the shackles being attached to my legs.  This was the moment I’d been waiting for, and I almost lost it right there.  Even more when he turned me around and cuffed my hands together.

“Transport cage over there.  Get in and line up.”  A younger officer who might have been hot but wasn’t opened the second steel gate and let me in silently.  It was a cage, all right—concrete floor, and steel fencing all around.  It looked like they’d spent twenty bucks on it.  There were about 40 guys in the cage, lined up in their go-to-prison clothes, which must have cost then about ten bucks.  So these were my fellow convicts . . . .

Note: All stories by prisonprocess are purely fictional and have no relation to real persons or institutions.