#couldnt even get my dad to pull over god im so pissed

[blue-matches-my-eyes-you-prick]

What the fuck is WRONG with people nowadays???? I wanna hit that dude with so many baseball bats it's incredible

[poppy-metal]

Poppy I’ll do you one better. I present you: Stepbro! Eren who plays drums in the garage way too loud with his band friends but gets oddly possessive over you when said friends come into the house and start eyeing you down 👀👀 -Sukuna thirst anon

I kind of went in my own direction w this IJWDOJW putting it under a readmore

You come down, angrily stomping your feet along the steps as you do, with every step. For dramatic affect? Maybe. When you fling open the door to the basement, and stamp down those stairs, mouth open and ready to rant about how loud they’re being and how they need to be quiet because you’re trying to study, for fucks sake, you draw up short. 

You recognize connie and jean vaguely from the times they’d come over to game, jean is cradling a microphone to his lips as he belts out lyrics, connie is jamming out on some guitar, but your eyes are immediately drawn to him. To eren. Sitting perched on a stool with his hair pulled back in a barely visible black headband, hes playing the drums expertly, deft fingers wielding the drumsticks like they are weapons somehow, head nodding along to the beat they’re all creating, and in your stupor your eyes wander a little. He’s wearing a black tanktop, and ripped jeans, those weird tattoos he has of big monsters cording around his tan arm, flexing as he drums. He’s biting his lip in concentration, a hint of a smile peeking through. He’s sweaty, high on adrenaline obviously and totally in the moment. 

You blink. A moment that interrupted your studying! You remind yourself, coming out of your shock and your irritation coming back. You dont even bother to yell out for them to stop, eren would just roll his eyes at you, and you want to mean business. You stomp right over to the outlet connecting connies eletric guitar and such, yanking it out and effectively ruining their jam sesh. Three pairs of eyes fly to you, Connies and jeans from surprised to intrigued and erens whos eyebrows draw together as he scowls. 

“The fuck?” he snaps at you. You meet his eyes, angry seagreen, and dont look away, crossing your arms. 

“Heyy,” You hear jean sing song, and your gaze darts to his, missing the way erens jaw ticks. “Erens little sis, what can we do for you? Were we being too loud?” 

You straighten a little, puffing your chest. “Yes actually, im trying to study” your glare meets erens again. “I told you that” 

Eren just shrugs and looks away from you like hes bored, rolling his eyes. “And? That affects me….how?” 

You stamp your foot, “I need quiet you jerk!! You play all the time, all i asked was for one day of peace and quiet and you cant even give me that?” 

“Yeah you asked. Didn’t say i would listen,” he taps the end of one drumbstick idly against his knee, and quirks his brow at you, “so unless you’re here to bring us snacks, i couldnt really give less of a fuck about your peace and quiet” He sneers, “run along now” 

Your blood boils and you clench your fists, god! Hes so! You dont want to do this, you really hate playing this card but sometimes he leaves you no choice. “I’ll call your dad” you threaten, and sneer right back at him, “im sure he’ll love to know how his deadbeat son is ruining his precious little stepdaughters studying time” 

The result is instant. Erens gaze narrows on you like you’re the enemy, and his lips pull back, knuckles turning white from where they grip the drumbsticks. He shoves himself off the stool. “You threatening me right now, little sis?” he asks, his tone deadly. A stray peice of brown hair slips from his headband to swish against his forehead, and your brain uselessly reminds you of how beautiful he is, even when hes pissed. 

You lift your chin, “S’not a threat, its a promise.” Your heart clenches a little as you say, “We both know he’ll take my side.” An ugly truth, out there wafting between the air between you. Fighting words, you can tell, because the look in erens eyes also carry a promise of war. 

He looks you up and down with utter disdain before jerking his chin at the door, without taking his eyes off you “You guys go home,” he says, clipped, referring to jean and connie. “I need to deal with her” 

You don't hear much complaints from either of them, just Jean shooting you an apologetic look as they both grab their stuff and leave the room quickly. The air is quiet between you and eren for a couple of seconds and you actually gulp, thinking he might cross the space and strangle you or something. But he just assesses you coldly. 

Eventually you snap “You won't be dealing with me, eren. I’ll deal with you, if you dont quit it” 

“You’re a fucking bitch, you know that?” Eren tells you, “You and your gold digging whore of a mother just think you can sweep in and run shit, is that it? You think i’ll heel to you because my dad likes you? Like that’s some kind of shit you can hold over me? Lets get something straight, princess”, and then he is pushing off the stool and approaching you, slow and methodical. He comes to stop inches in front of you, and this close you can see the light reflecting off the metal piercings adorning his earlobes, the dog tag necklace around his neck swaying as he pulls to a stop. “I dont know what stopped working up there,” and he flicks your forehead meanly, “to make you think you have any power in this house, much less over me, but-” And his grin is mean, mean, mean. “That’ll change soon”

And then hes walking back, hands in his pockets as he says casually, “You just waged war on me, little sis, hope you can keep those big girl panties on for the fallout” 

[that-one-weeb-but-starwars]

Must be this tall to Hunt| Boba Fett (tcw age so like 13/14)

Couldnt find a good teen boba gif, so heres bosk instead

Warnings: fake blame,

Reader: female

"You are expelled from the order-"

"What!?" Y/n shouted looking up at the council, "I did nothing! Master Plo! Reason with them!"

"I am sorry little one, I-"

Y/n was heart broken, looking up at the surrounding Jedi, this couldn't be true.

"Master Obi-Wan!" Y/n pleaded.

"Your attachments grow," Windu spoke, "and with them your anger."

"My anger?! My anger?!" Y/n shouted at him.

"Little one please." Plo pleaded, "I have brought a witness."

"You!?" Y/n argued, "Master I demand an answer! Why! Why would you- You out of all People!-"

She watched Anakin walk in guilt ridden on his face, "You!? Anakin! You!?"

He kept quiet as Fives walked in, her world stopping.

"Y-Your lieing!" She shouted, "Fives?! Not you! I trust you and you do this!?"

"Arc Trooper Fives." Windu spoke, " what have you seen Padawan Y/n do?"

Fives looked at her, "I. Saw Genral Y/n with a clone trooper,"

"Im with troopers everyday!" Y/n defended.

"What was Padawan Y/n doing with this clone trooper."

"...intercourse sir." Fives responded.

"Thats Obsurded Fives! And you know it!" Y/n argued, "You're my brothers- Why in gods name would I fuck any of you!"

"Y/n! That is enough!" Plo argued.

"You believe this crap!? You're suppose to have MY back!" Y/n demanded, "I'd have your back no matter what! And you turn on me!"

"Are there any other witnesses?" Fisto spoke.

"Yes." Windu spoke, "bring them in."

Y/n watched, her brothers, the wolf pack, Commandos and even some from the Corosaunt Gaurd walk in, and they strung there string of lies and they strung them high and low, entagled the lies beyond untanglement.

"Padawan L/n is to be expelled from the Order and that is our final verdict."

The platform she was on went downward, the clone troopers who had made there testimonies were gathered at the bottom, a path for her to go through.

"Y/n-" Wolfee spoke reaching out a hand.

"Don't you dare touch me!" She shouted in anger pushing past the clones.

"It had to be done." Commander Thron spoke quietly.

The others nodded.

"Damn it!" Fives shouted running out the room and rushing down the halls, after the light echoing of Y/n's angered footsteps.

She pushed the doors open and just walking out them she stopped, hearing Five's steps behind her.

"General. It had to be done-"

"What!? The lies! The string of lies you built! Why!? Why would you do this to me?!" Y/n argued looking back at the clone.

"We wanted to protect you-"

"Bullshit Fives! Bullshit! I love all of you! All of you!" Y/n shouted, screaming so loud it was sure to be heard all the way down to the lower level.

"Y/n listen!-' he grabbed her shoulders trying to plead with her but she pushed him away ingiting one side of her double sided saber as Fives quickly backed up.

"Touch me again and I'll kill you." She spoke.

"I don't even deserve death. I know- I-" Fives tried to explained, "We wanted to protect you-"

"Then you should of had my back!"

The bright blade turned off and she turned around leaving without a second thought.

"Hey! Wake up!" Boba argued.

Y/n turned her self around as she opened her eyes, "what do you want Fett."

"Rations idiot." He spoke as Y/n sat up, the girl only a year older than Bobba.

She was thrown a rations bar by the boy as they were in a hotel room, she had been sleeping on the couch.

"How much longer we waitin?" She asked taking a crunch out of the bar.

"An hour, I told you that the how much longer last time you woke up." He argued looking through the window.

Y/n kept quiet as she ate her food, it bland and bleak in both tast and color.

Bobba took an arm chair by the window as he ate his own rations. It was silent for a long mintue.

"Did. You have that nightmare again?" He asked.

Y/n looked over at him, "when do I not?"

Boba ate a peice of his own ration bar, he never knew what the nightmare was about, but knew it was the same one, on repeat.

He had the same.

"You, uh. Wanna talk about it?"

She looked his way, then looked away quickly, only able to see the faces of her brothers.

"No." She replied coldy tossing the barely eaten ration bar on the table, her appetite gone, "I'm gonna go scope the roof, don't wait up for me."

She walked towards the door, grabbing the sniper on the way out.

"I'll come with you. Incase someone tries to get you from behind."

"I don't need someone to have my back." Y/n argued.

"Well then Im coming because I want to!"

He pushed past Y/n as she scoffed, following him close behind as they walked towards the steps, somewhere along the way Y/n hacked into a vending Machine, Boba going up the stairs himself, stealing whatever she pleased putting it in her sling bag, enough for her only.

"Sharing is what?" Y/n questioned Woflee

"An opportunity for someoen to get there arm chopped off, it's my food." Wolfee told her.

Y/n sighed, how she hated her own little life lessons to her brothers, and stole more food, enough for both Boba and her, and a little extra.

Walking up the rest of the steps she made it to the door she kicked open with the bottom of her foot.

"Could you try and be quiet?" He seethed.

"I mean. I could. But no." Y/n responded walking towards the edge where Boba sat on a near by utiliy unit.

She sat down setting her back infront of her as she laid herself on her side her back to Boba the lights of the bright city below barely reaching the top of the tall hotel they sat on.

"You want one?"

Boba looked over seeing Y/n holding up a soda.

"Where did you get that?"

"Stole it."

Rolling his eyes he walked over to her snatching the bottle and sitting himself by her head.

"Hey hey. Fives calm your tits." Y/n laughed.

Boba stayed silent as he looked at her, she too busy looking out and onward, but feeling the stare she looked besides her.

"Oh." Y/n realized, "My bad Fett."

Boba stayed silent, as Y/n took a drink of her own soda, he had realized she had become more sympathetic with her apology.

"You wanna talk about it now?" Boba questioned.

Y/n sighed, answering in silence for a mintue, "My only family betrayed me. Strung a String of lies to supposedly keep me safe. I think about it all the time. We use to find these abaonded places and sit up on the roofs like this, we'd sing, start a bonfire, get drunk."

"Your as old as me." Fett argued.

Y/n shrugged, "war does that, you only live once Fett."

"Then why are you still worrying about it?" Boba defended.

"Why do you still worry about the things you worry about?" Y/n questioned, "but I was kicked out of my group, my name stripped of me, and instead of having my back, they had me cast out. Happy Now?"

It was silent again, the hearing of honking and swearving down below could be heard.

"I lost my dad to the Jedi."

Y/n stopped mid way lifting her drink to her lips but then contuined to drink then pull away.

"They tend to do that..." Y/n responded, "they expect you to follow every rule every word, there no better than the sith."

"You know alot of jedi and sith."

Y/n looked at him once, "It was when you father died did I stop really believing in the Jedi-"

"You knew my father?! You're a jedi-"

"Shut your trap and listen before you get rowdy you damn idiot!' Y/n argued Boba gritting his teeth, "I met Jango Fett when I went on a small assignment, my first one, with Master Shakk Ti- it was basically playing paper boy. I remember delivering work to your father...alot of people were mean to me, he. He never was, always said thank you, always asked me if I had eaten. He even watched me leave on the ship back to Master Plo Koon. So when I went througy reports and found him dead I was in shock, later to find out a Jedi did it. I started to loose faith. Why kill a man lookin out for him and his child, sure capture him- but taking family...I know how that feels and no one should go through it."

Y/n took a drink finishing her bottle and tossing it over edge, "so. I fought. And I fought and I fought. If i couldnt save Jango, I'd save what was left of him- the clones- my brothers. They share the same face but are diffrent than any could imagine. I spoke, I wrote, I pleaded, I trainned. It never was enough, and it was my 'emotion' that got the better of me. Pssh. Yeah right the Jedi can piss off because if they want to see emotion? I'll give it to them."

Boba listened, he had nevee seen Y/n before hand, maybe he had and just didnt remember, he never knew someone could share his pain. Neverless with the same person.

"Windu will pay." Boba seethed, "and your a jedi! You can help me."

"I will go head to head to him, I don't plant bombs." Y/n defended.

"We can take him! Two on one!" Boba tried to persuade, "you know his fighting style! I know guns! You know sabers! We take his head and anyone else that stands in our way!"

Y/n looked at him dully.

"Come on! How many bounty hunters have you single handedly taken on! And killed! How many sith have you injured! Jedi that chase after us! Without your laser swords! We can kill him! Together!" Boba explained standing up, Y/n move to sit up, "We're the left behind! We are the strongest! Because we were left behind! We round up a few others! Bane! Sing! Bosk! And there's always someone paying for a Jedi's head!"

Y/n stood up grabbing hee sniper rifle as she did and looked at her watch.

"It can be a sniper shot! A saber battle! Whatever you want! As long as he die and Im involed I don't care how!" Bobba argued.

Y/n looked down below aiming her sniper adjusting the scope.

"My father would do the same for you-"

He was cut off by a bullet shot and soon the sounds of crying folks who see a man just drop dead on the street, the target they had been waiting for dead. She pulled away from her weapon slowly, turning her head towards him.

"I'll do it.-" Y/n agreed

"No." Boba spoke, "We'll do it. Together. For everything the jedi took from us!"

Y/n looked at the outreached hand as she took it.

"Together."

"As One Unit."

"As One Unit." Y/n responded, "well one and a half"

"Im not that short." Boba argued.

"Shorter than me." Y/n chuckled.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

What is August going to do if his little decides to play with his forbidden knife collection? :3

Omg so this took a while and i'm sorry but im sooo happy with this! It got a little long so im hidig it under a cut but i hope you enjoy! @littlefreya @viking-raider

August swore vehemently looking around for the blades he'd sharpened specifically for his next assignment.

This needed to be silent and precise, he'd sharpened each blade twice! Not once but twice!

He wouldnt even attempt his 'arm hair' shave test this time knowing he may have gone over board with the sharpening.

But he couldnt help it, he found it therapeutic running his hands over the blades again and again, it was like medatation for him.

But they were no where to be seen! Hed placed them each delicatly in the rolled travelling leather holster, useing the small poppers to lock each dangerous blade in place and then hid it in the small safe in the wardrobe.

"Baby girl! LITTLE ONE HAVE YOU BEEN IN THE SAFE?!" He shouted down the stairs only not to get an answer, the radio on the kitchen drowning him out.

You were baking, well 'bakeing' he had bought a 'unicorn gingerbread box kit' for you both to make today.

It was a small treat he would spend the day with you doing anything your little heart desires befor setting off onto his week long mission.

You were currently rolling out the gingrbread and he had decided to sneak his weapons into his bag while you were preoccupied.

August never liked rubbing innhis occupation with you, never liked faceing the awkward questions, he wont lie to you but in being truthfull he can sometimes frighten you.

In the bedroom he was as ruthless and rough and demanding as he was at work.

But like this when you were little, you drew out a softer side. Well as soft as he was capable of, he was a stern man in everything he did, even in daddying you.

August huffed and zipped his case violently stressing out he needed to go down and pversee ou before you did something foolish, like tried to put the gingerbread in the oven.

Your panicked hyperventilating and bitten 9ff screams drew his attention immediatly!

He bolted down the stairs as fast as he could, so panicked by the cries and screams from the kitchen he raced through the housestomping and crashing with all the grace of a bull in a china shop.

Oh hell.

He froze, face paling mouth agape as he took in the scene.

Then he roared in a way you'd never heard.

You cowered holding your hand tightly as it bled profusely red life blood poured all over the white counter ruining the sheet pan dusted with what was once pure white flour.

The blood was also over the rolled out gingerbread, along with a very familiar knife.

You cried and staggered over you august holding your wound tightly tripping over your feet to him, wandering blindly unable to see much through your tears. Or hear past your frantic crying and yelps of "daddy!?"

August quickly decended on you grasping a teatowel from the laundry basket on the counter and tookover holding your offered wounded hand whislts snappjng at you in worry fueled anger.

"What the fuck are you dojng with that!? They are daddies special knives! You know not to touch thwm you silly little girl!"

"I'm s-so-rry! OUCH, NO-OO DAD-DY IT HURTS!" You cried out complaining as he dabbed the wound inspecting it.

It wasnt to deep just long, across the whole of your palm. He could tell your slipped and probably didnt evwn notice youd cut yourself untill it'd sliced fully across.

He'd sharpened them that much.

"You will be! By god little lady you will ne so very very sorry when im done woth you!"

"Come on sit down before you pass out and bleed all over the kitchen" he said tying a knot in two corners ot the teatowle making a triangle like a sling and looped it around your palm then fetched a wooden spoon slotting it in the large opening and began twisting it tight making a tourniquet.

You hissed as he pulled the clother thighter and tighter then slipped the wooden spoon into your fingers holding the teatowel still, before raising your hand high letting gravityhelp slow the bleeding.

"Now hold that there, dont you move, w need to stop the bleeding so i can mend it" he snipped grunting to himself. He wasnt worried as such, it looked worse than it was he had tended to worse on himself.

"Y-you can fix it da-ddy?" You sobbed tryi g to be brave but you were shaking like a leaf, youd never bled that much before.

"Yes daddy can fix it poppet, daddy can always fix it" he said quickly pulling out his... vast medic kit that was fully stocked to deal with everything from burns and cuts to bullet woulds and decapitated fingers. Because ou never know.

"A-are you mad da-addy?!" You whined eyes wide as he huffed and sighed dragging his hands through hos hair irritated

"Im not angry im very very disappointed. And you can bet your little ass is gonna be meeting that spoon shortly!" He said vehemently trying to calm himself and remind himself it wasnt too serious and he could deal with this cut.

You didnt even argue just looked down, dropping your watery eyes to the floor like a kicked puppy, and it wasnt even to soften him either.

"Why were you touching daddies private things?" He spoke tyring to take both his and your mind off your wound as he located everything he needed from the box.

"A'cos i wa-nted to see...they were shiney after you were polishin'em" you explained hicupping slowly weeping still as the pain and throbbing set in.

"I was sharpening them poppet, not polishing" he uttered quickly with a sigh trying to find a quaze big enough to wrap in a bandage.

"I just wanted to see... Never gon' touch" you sobbed bijng your lip eyes flickingnup the the now red teatowel, your figers were going a ittle numb from the tight tourniquet.

"And then?" He asked quirking a brow as you before waling to the kitchen sink washing and rinsing the washing up bowl thoroughly befpre filling with fresh warm water and a new clean cloth.

"Then the box said cut round the unicorns with a knife... And I already got it out to look at" you said shrugging a little as he moveed down your hand. Luckily the bleedig had stopped.

"I also says let and adult do it" your daddy chided as he slowly and gwntly unwrapped your hand making our fingers sting a little at the renewed bloodflow

"Im an-adult" you argued weakly then hissed as he begancleani g the wound dabbig it ever so lightly knowig he had to use clean water instead of antiseptic that could slow the healing of the delicate skin.

"Your a baby" he said with a roll of his eyes 'a spoilt baby' he added as an after thought to himself.

"...but im carful never cut myself with my big girl knives!" You agrued then gasped giving a small 'uh oh' you mouth had run away with you again.

"You mean the kitchen knives?" August asked quickly coming down on the new information like a... well hammer on a land mine.

"No... my saftey knives daddy" you uttered under your breath hissing as he moved on to the next stage of tending to your wound pressing the gauze to it.

"What do you mean your safety onives little one?" He said paying close attention to the bandages he was unravling over your hand trying to keep it firm but comfortable.

"My safety knives... i-in my purse?... Incase of baddies" you whispered slowly praying he wouldnt hear you. But his fingers paused for a second before quickly tying off the bandage in a knot and gave you a fierce look.

"You have knives in your?- wait hold-" august frowned and held a hand up singnalling you to stay then left the kitchen.

He returned moments later and emptied your pjrse only to growl shaking his had as a plethora of 'cute' weapons fell out. Hello kitty switch blades, rainbow blades, pink pocket knives and suspicious looking comb, key knives, pen knives you name it! There was even a ... cat keyring obviously meant to be some sort of pointy eared knuckle duster.

"Really poppet? Knives and... knuckle dusters- these are" he began scolding you but you cut him off

"I know i know daddy im sorry-" your apology was halted as your daddy spoke over you in a warning to e, he didnt like being interrupted.

"No where near good enough! These are all close range! If your close enough to use these then your already fucked! No you need pepperspray and a tazer!" He growled quickly picking up the feeble knives that had no grip to them, and wasnt ever sharp!

"T-tazer?" You stuttered tiltinnyour head cradling your injured hand to your chest.

"Yes, they are close range but will stop any attacker in their tracks! You can get away whilst your attacker is convulsing and laying in a pool of his own piss!" August growled becoming more and more aggravated as he realised you had now real way of protecting yourself when he wasnt around, big or little!

"Im getting you a tazer- today! Before i leave" he decided nodding to himself as he binned the now soiled teatowel and wash cloth.

"...can i have a pink one daddy?" You asked not being the slightest bit against having a tazer, it would make you feel alot safer then a knife.

Knives needed a proper opening and some brute force to protect you and could really really hurt someone!

A tazer was just a button and could work nomatter where ou hit the baddy and would kill them just make em gall over and pee.

"You can have a pink one princess... or a lipstick one or a tampon one?" Auguast suggested trying to thinl of the best one for you... he was sure a smaller discreet one whould be better than a law enforcement grade.

"That sounds uncomfortable daddy..." you uttered shuddering at the thought of that... being mistaken.

"Its not really a- fuck it... Right come on lets get in the living room you can go pick a tazer online" he said beginni g to pack up the first aid kitpillig everthing neatly into the box.

"O-okay... but no spankies daddy... I'm hurt" you warned cautiously waving your bandaged hand

"Yes spankies! Absolutly spankies! You take this spoon with you and you can pop it on the table as a reminder!" He ordered holding you with a level gaze blue eyes warning you to do as you were told.

"But my hand-" you said sniffling cradling it.

"Will be the least of your problems when I'm tanning your naughty butt! Now go or else" he threataned clipping the first aid box shut still watching you, staring unblinkingly.

"Or else what-" you started but your daddy was havig none of it and cut you off again.

"There is a silicone butter icing spreader in this kitchen that will be much worse than thw wooden spoon! Now get in the living room befpre i make you find it" he growled not about to let you throw a paddy about getting your ass blistered after the stunt you pulled.

Your lower lip wobbled but yu nodded giving up, plucking the wooden spoon and turning around leaing the kitchen in a walk of shame muttering a tiny 'yes daddy, sorry daddy'

Auguast watched with a stern face, before turning his attention to the bloody kitchen he will clean before coming to deal with you.

A good fifteen mineut wait will let you have time to reflect before he comes in and tans you hide.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 8

A/N - Finally an update!! Im sorry of this is bad but im trying to get back into the swing of it! 💕💕

My week had been long! Or at least it felt that way. Work had been busier than usual and Mason was being extra clingy. If he wasn't hanging onto me he was throwing a tantrum because he wanted his dad. Chris had been stopping by every day after he got off from work, most days staying for dinner and then leaving once Mason was down for the night. On the few occasions Chris couldn't make it..... i knew Mason was going to act up. It was nice having Chris's help with Mason, but i couldn't help thinking about how much easier life would have been with him around from the start.

Another person who had noticed Chris's increased visits was Brian! My god he was driving me mad!!

He would show up all the time at the coffee shop trying to talk to me about random things. He would always be out the front of his house when i arrived home, it was getting ridiculous and honestly a little creepy! Even to the point of him showing up when i was grocery shopping with Mason.

Friday evening quickly came around and I packed a weekend bag for Mason and I ready for our weekend in Boston visiting Chris's mom Lisa. It had been agreed that we would stay at Chris's house after Mason found out Chris had a dog.

He wouldn't shut up about meeting Dodger!

Chris came by to pick us up, he grabbed our bags and took them out to his car with Mason following him while i double checked the house was locked up and i hadn't forgotten anything. I set the alarm and locked the front door, as i turned Brian was walking over.

"Hey, you going somewhere?" He asked like it was something he should be aware of.

"yeah, just a family thing" i nodded shrugging casually as i continued towards Chris's car.

"How long you gonna be gone for?"

"Only a few days, goodnight Brian"

"You okay?" Chris asked walking over to me while throwing a glare at Brian who wasn't too far behind.

"Yeah lets just go"

Chris put his arm around my waist and led me to the passenger side while standing between me and Brian as if shielding me from my creepy neighbour.

"I know its not my place to say, but i don't like that guy. He freaks me out the way he is with you" Chris said quietly once we were on the road.

"I know, i hate it too. He's gotten worse since he's seen you around more"

"I really think you should think about moving"

"Ive been thinking the same thing actually"

"You have?"

"Yeah, i don't feel safe in my own home anymore. The guy is literally everywhere i go"

"He still coming by the coffee shop?"

"Everyday" i nodded "now he shows up when i'm getting groceries with Mace....."

"Maybe you and Mason should stay with me until you find a new place, or i'll stay with you....."

"Chris...."

"Im not trying to overstep i swear, i just want to know you're both safe"

"I'll think about it".

To say Chris's house was impressive would be a huge understatement. When we walked in we were tackled by the brown and white dog Mason had been dying to meet. Dodger was so happy to see people and so gentle with Mason, the two were hitting it off already. I stood looking around the house and couldnt believe how clean and tidy everything was.... it looked like something out of a magazine....I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my mouth, that got Chris's attention.

"What?"

"I was just thinking about how tidy it is.... you do realise thats gonna change with a 5 year old running around?"

"Of course i do, i'm not stupid.....Im looking forward to it"

"We'll see if you feel that way later" i shook my head before bending down to fuss Dodger who was now wanting my attention.

"Pizza okay for dinner?" Chris asked after he had shown us to the guest room and got us settled in.

"Thats fine, Mason will be thrilled" i smiled "must get his love of pizza from you".

Chris just smiled proudly as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket to order.

"Your favourite still ham and pineapple?"

"Of course!"

"So gross"

"Christopher don't start that argument with me again.... pineapple is good on pizza!"

"Keep telling yourself that sweetheart" he chuckled shaking his head as we made our way back downstairs. We had argued about pineapple on pizza for years!

"Mason agrees with me" i shrugged with a smug smile as a look of horror spread on his face.

"No!..... say it ain't so....."

"Sorry its true, ask him"

"Hey buddy?.... what pizza do you want?" Chris called over to Mason who was sitting with Dodger in front of the TV.

"Ham and Pineapple please"

"Thats my boy!" I grinned at Chris before going to sit with Mason and Dodger.

I was standing in front of the mirror looking at my outfit choice for the day, maybe i should change..... i had already changed 3 times!! My stomach had been in knots all morning, the nerves getting the better of me, Id barely touched the pancakes Chris had made us all for breakfast.

"You look so pretty mama" I heard Mason say and turned to see him standing in the bedroom doorway smiling at me.

"Thank you baby" i smiled back lovingly at him before taking one last look in mirror and taking a deep breath.

"I guess its time to go meet your nana huh?"

"Yep! Come on lets go! Dad said Dodger can come too" he was so excited!

"He did?? Wow bud thats great! Come on then lets go".

Chris was sat on the sofa waiting for us, he was looking at something on his cell phone that made him frown.... he looked pissed off truth be told.

"Hey, we're ready when you are" i said casually letting him know we were in the room. He looked up instantly, his eyes looking me up and down as a smile spread on his face.

"Wow you look nice.... both of you"

"Thanks, we wont embarrass you then?" I asked only half joking, even though i knew his family this was still nerve racking.

"Why would you ever embarrass me?"

"I...."

"Mama can we go?" Mason interrupted walking over with Dodger on his lead.

"Wow someones eager to meet his nana huh?"

"Sure pal, lets go" Chris beamed grabbing his car keys and slipping his phone in his jeans pocket.

Chris's cell was blowing up in his pocket as we drove to his moms place, 5/6 ignored phone calls followed by a shit ton of text messages. I could see him getting more and more irritated the longer they kept coming through.

"Everything okay?" I finally asked looking over at him.

"Huh?"

"Your phone?...."

"Oh yeah, i'm sure its nothing important"

"The person trying to get your attention seems to think differently"

"It can wait" he quickly looked at me with a tight lipped smile before turning his attention back to the road.

"You sure? You can pull over and check...."

"Im positive"

"Okay if you say so"

"I do say so, now shush i like this song" he said smiling as he turned up the song on the radio drowning out the sound of his phone.

My knee was bouncing and my heart racing from my nerves as we drove up the drive way to Lisa's house.

Chris put the car in park and looked over at me with a smile.

"You know you have nothing to be nervous about? My mom loves you, you were always like another daughter to her"

"I know, but i left..... she's gonna hate me for leaving the way i did.... for not telling her...."

"Hey, she knows this is on me. She always knew it was my fault we didn't work out...." he looked down at his lap "she was so happy to hear you were coming to see her. She can't wait to see you and meet Mason"

"She was?"

"Yeah, now come on you got this"

I nodded and took a deep breath before throwing open my door and climbing out of Chris's car ready to face the music.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina

@mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave @jakiki94 @torntaltos @buchanansebba

[mayapenelopeclutterbucket]

Thoughts I had while watching TGD 3x09 “Incomplete” aka the ep where I died and came back to life

Finally editing my thoughts post and should be able to watch the mid season finale live tonight and I’m so excited!!!

Fuck fuck fuck yalll I’m not ready but I am melendaire group chat popped off about this ep and I accidentally saw a slight spoiler when going thru my explore page on twitter and did my eyes deceive me OR DID I SEE A MELENDAIRE COMFORT HEART TO HEART MOMENT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I COULDNT TAKE IT AND GASPED AND HAVE BEEN SMILING AND EXCITED SINCE SEEING THAT FOR THIS BLESSED EP AND IM PRETTY SURE MELENDAIRE ARE GONNA HAVE A BONDING MOMENT IN THE NEXT EP BY RUNNING TOGETHER AND HOLY SHIT I CANT DEAL

I seriously am so excited I can’t contain myself and haven’t even started the ep I just squealed like 2 minutes ago about it 😂

Those eggs look nasty af but omg how cute a resident’s picture celebrating Claire’s birthday 😭😭 and Morgan is even holding the cake

Antonia thomas is so pretty excuse my crush I know I say this every ep

And oh Claire I hope/believe you’ll get help this ep and stop spiraling

Aww Debbie helping shaun how cute

The second hand embarrassment for me is strong but omg that shit was so adorable Carly has no shame in saying yes I’m so happy for sharly

Oh Claire bby yeah you’re gonna have to deal with your issues

Oh fuck that is not a coincidence that Melendez is saying him and lim aren’t together in front!!! Of!!! Claire!!!

Oh my god Claire plz don’t tell me you know that because you were also on ecstasy! And yeah Melendez is sus af is that why he seemed angry with her in the promo because she was doing molly 😩

Oof maybe not at least not yet he looked so proud of his baby

Lmao Morgan and shaun bonding over first times

Oh god no not an awkward l*mlendez moment 🤢

Y’all that’s Emily from make it or break it

I’m with Morgan on this like really your life is worth dying over having sex/an orgasm. Morgan is gonna pull a Claire and keep fighting for her patient to have the surgery

Damn Claire why didn’t you let park go in there to help the patient instead and fuck this dude haaaard

Oh my god Claire no plz tell me you’re not about to confess

Oh my god the irony y’all really love to torture Claire huh gonna have the wife suspicious about and affair to the woman your husband cheated on you with?!!!?

Plz don’t have her believe she’s making it up Claire I know you’re gonna confess before the ep ends

Aww Carly is a heart tattoo cute

Aww shaun what happened everything was going so well

Lmaoo the look they both gave Debbie to get out

Fuck Morgan up Carly as I much I love my bby she can cross a line but omg is this Morgan actually caring about shaun or attempting lmao

That’s right lim DON’T HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS about breaking up with him

Wow is Morgan actually telling the truth about this heart to heart story?? is she about to break up an engagement god damn

Oof is Claire about to tell this asshole off damn Claire getting called out so it was the opposite way around

Oh shit foreshadowing to his parents since Shaun’s dad is gonna be on his deathbed

Park leave Claire alone please and stfu why didn’t YOU check on him he’s also YOUR patient 🙄 men are trash and instead of bombarding Claire since you’ve noticed her spiraling why not actually ask if she was okay

Glassman you’ve been overbearing to shaun the whole fucking time you’ve known him and get pissed at him when he wants you to leave him alone but now that he’s asking you for help and advice suddenly you’re done with him?!!? Wtf

Yeah glassy is def gonna regret that when shaun comes back and doesn’t talk to him about his shitty dad dying

This hoe about to leave his fiancée

Melendez being so proud of his boo

For it!!!!

Carly filling in her tattoo was cute af ngl

Oh shaun bby you cant keep putting Carly thru that and yourself for that matter

Claire telling the wife she needs to insist on the truth has me worried she’s about to get slapped in front of the whole hospital omg

God damn it I needed closure and l*mlendez to end is this finally it 😭 because Melendez didn’t fight for her after she admitted to having second thoughts god bless 🙌🏼🙌🏼

I’m emotional 😭 don’t touch me the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen and ended so quick they always get my hopes up with sharly

AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHY DID MELENDAIRE GROUP CHAT HAVE TO BE RIGHT ABOUT OUR THEORY WE TOSSED AROUND OF CLAIRE GETTING SLAPPED WHY DID I HAVE TO BE RIGHT?!

At least not that many people were around and Melendez looks concerned af

Oh my oh my god oh my god he followed her down all those flights of stairs to make sure she was okay and comfort her omggg I can’t y’all I can’t I have to pause and take a deep breath

Omg no I needed that scene longer!!!!!!

Okay so you get the news Shaun’s dad is dying and you almost weren’t gonna go tell him what the fuck glassman

I need glassy gone ASAP I’m so done with his character and storyline 🤦🏻‍♀️

That’s it the ep is over we’re not gonna pan back to the melendaire scene I HAVE BEEN DYING FOR I WISH IT WAS LONGER BUT OMG IM SO GRATEFUL AND HAPPY WITH WHAT WE GOT like it’s not freakin coincidence that Melendez is the one to comfort Claire oh my god I’m still freaking out about that scene that slow pan to Neil our ship is back in the running y’all take THAT

And Melendez is gonna help Claire thru her grief and destructive tendencies from the look of the promo pics so I CANNOT WAIT MORE MELENDAIRE CONTENT HERE WE COME (it look like they’re spending time together outside the hospital and running and stuff 🙏🏼

And is that lea embracing shaun this next ep is gonna break me huh

Ngl and please don’t shoot me but I lowkey miss shea like season 1 them was *chefs kiss*

[leelee10898]

Fast cars & Freedom: ShadowBoxer (4/?)

Summary: Ellie gets blast from the past. Logan amd Ellie have thsor dinner, but will it go well?

Pairing: Logan-x-Ellie, Colt x Ellie

Rating: Mature

Song inspiration:

Ellie paid the driver and got out, her eyes taking in the familiar sights.  It had been a long time but she would always remember this street. She turned around slowly noticing her destination, a sign that read TC Automotive where Kaneko Auto Body used to be. New owners  she thought to herself as she took a deep breath.

********

Ellie sat in the in the booth of the diner somewhere in Eastern California, the events of the past few weeks playing over and over in her head. She had ditched her prom dress grabbing a change of  clothes at Riyas. Colt stopping and buying something quickly. “Were gonna get through this Ellie, don't worry.” He placed a reassuring kiss on her forehead, she rest her head on his shoulder. “How can you know that colt?  These people are unhinged, we could be dead tomorrow. I want to live Colt. I'm not ready to die” she sniffled.

Colt knew this was eating her up, he needed to find some kind of a distraction, anything to make her happy, to take away all the fear and pain. He needed her to be happy, it was as if he survived on it.  He looked around the small diner, a guy sitting at the counter, his shirt reading viva las Vegas. “Have you ever been to Vegas?” she lifted her head “What? With everything going on you're seriously asking me if i've been to Vegas?”

She walked into the shop, not seeing anybody around, nobody manning the desk, nobody anywhere. “Hello?” she yelled as she walked around. She looked at the desk some papers strewn about, some car parts. The place reminded her of Kaneko's garage,  the new owners obviously rebuilt it a bit more modern but appreciated the older feel of a garage. Her eyes landed on a postcard from Vegas. Her mind taking her back to a night that she would remember the rest of her life.

“Ah yeah, I am. So have you?” he smirked, he loved seeing her get railed up, it was cute the way she scrunched her nose up. “NO!”

“ok, it's settled. Were going.” he jumped up reaching for her hand. She grabbed it as they climbed on his bike. “Where are we going colt?” She asked as she put on her helmet.  “Vegas.” he smirked as he shut his helmet kicking his bike to life.

******

“sorry miss. How can i help you.” she turned towards the voice. “Oh just picking up my car.”

A huge smile formed on her face. “Toby?”

“Oh my god. Ellie belly is that you? You're all grown up.” he ran lifting her up into a spinning hug. “oh my  god hold on x is gonna get a kick out of this.” he ran towards the hall “Hey X. X, come here. You're never gonna believe whos here.” ximena came out a huge smile plastered on her face. “oh my god sweetheart, how the hell are ya?” she pulled her into a crushing hug. “Eck. X. Crushing. Me.” she grunted as ximena let her down. “I'm not sorry, it's been too long honey.”

They stood there talking about Ellie moving back. Toby and ximena travelling together, coming back this way once they heard someone opened a shop in the same place, and ended up working there again. Toby went to look for her keys and couldnt find them. “Hold on, I bet the boss has them.” “Hey boss, can you bring the keys to that Honda?” she heard someone shuffling around in a room off the back before emerging. Toby and ximena said they would catch up with her later.

“ C- Colt!” Ellies heart dropped in her stomach as she came face to face with him. After 6 years the sight of him still lit a fire in her. “Here are your keys miss. You should be good to go. Also, you should probably get a new car seat those may not be safe after an accident.” He kept his face fixed on the paper in front of him. Ellie felt the tears start to well up in her eyes. He couldn't even look at her and acted like he didn't know her.  “Th. Thank you.” her voice trembled, immediately irritating her. Why should she be upset, he's the one who left without saying goodbye.

She snatched the keys out of his hand and storming off to the lot to get her dad's car. How dare him, after 6 years he still had the power to make her swoon to pissed in a matter of seconds. She marched out to the lot getting in her dad's car. She let out a long irritated scream,  all of her frustrations boiling over. She turned the key, the car roaring to life. Something in her snapped as she peeled wheels out of the lot. She caught a glance at colt propped against an open bay door.

She couldn't understand how someone she hadn't seen in 6 years could piss her off so bad. She took the long way home, hoping to calm down before getting there. She arrived home, Luca barreling towards the door. “mommmmmy.” All of Ellie's frustrations and fears instantly melting away upon seeing that sweet smiling face. “Hi baby. Oooh I missed my sweet girl. Did you have fun with grampy today?” she lifted her up, wrapping her in a hug.

“Yup. We went to the park. Grampy made a friend. Her name is sally.” ellie eyed her dad. “He did?”

“uh huh, they are going to have dinner on Saturday night.”

“Ooooh kay. That's enough of that little miss loose lips. How about you go watch some tv while grampy helps mommy with dinner.”

Luca jumped up and down with excitement before running into the living room.

“How was your day?” He asked Changing the topic. “Nope. Na ah. Were starting with you. You taking my daughter to pick up chicks?” she eyed her father.

“what? No. I would never, ellie.” she chuckled “Dad im just playing with you. I think it's great you have a date.” she hugged him. She knew he hadn't really dated much since her mom died, and the fact he felt comfortable going on a date now made her so happy.

“Speaking of dated. I have one tomorrow night.” her father looked at her confused.  “With who?”

“Logan.”

She spent the entire work day thinking about her dinner with Logan. Was it a date? Was it business? Whatever it was she felt the butterflies in her stomach, no matter what happened she knew one thing for certain she was telling him tonight.

She raced home getting ready in a hurry, Riya picked Luca up since her father had card night with some of his old police buddies. She wore a white and champagne colored v neck midi dress. She tacked her hair up in a braided updo, she looked in the mirror her nerves getting the best of her when she heard a knock at the door.

Logan stood on the other side, Ellie stood there a minute admiring the man before her. He had sure grown up, still with that toned body but he was bigger than before. He wore a pair of khakis and a button down shirt. “You look beautiful Ellie.” He finally broke the silence. “Ah. Beautiful you too look.” he cocked his brow amused by how flustered he made her. “I mean, you look nice too Logan.”

“These are for you.” He held out a bouquet of wild flowers as She let him inside. “Thank you. These are beautiful. Let me go get a vase.” she came back quickly and they headed out for dinner.

They sat at the table sharing stories of the past, and laughing.  She missed how easy it was with Logan. They were headed somewhere she had thought and then she found out he used her to get information about her father's investigation.  She had already had feelings for Colt, but she would be lying if she said that didn't play a factor in them becoming even stronger.

A silence settled over the table and Ellie took her chance to try and back out of becoming his accountant. “Logan. We need to talk about me being your accountant. I dont think its a good idea.”

“Ellie, we have been over this time and time again. I trust you, besides it's a done deal.” Logan casually sipped his beer.

“You might not feel that way after you hear what I have to tell you.” He arched his brow.

“ok El, what is going on?”

She shook her head “not here, can we go?” He grabbed the check, paid and the valet brought his car around.

They drove to a parking lot, Ellies nerves a wreck. “Ok, whats up Ellie. You know whatever it is,  you can just tell me.”

She took a deep breath, it was now or never. “Logan I am a mom. I. I have a daughter.”

“Oh.” His eyes widened at her confession. “So you have a kid. I don't see what's so bad about that Ellie.” he chuckled.

“That's not the bad part.” she started to fidget in her seat. “Her. Her name is Luca. shes. She's 5.”  Logan sat there Quiet. She could see him doing the calculations in his head. “Logan?” she spoke softly, she couldn't take all the silence.

“Five? You were in college then. Did you meet someone there?” She shook her head no. He swallowed hard, his throat becoming dry. “What.  What are you saying, is. Is she mine?”

The tears started to spill, silently. “Im, not sure if she's yours or Colts.” She hung her head ashamed. “I'm so. So sorry Logan. “ she said through sobs. After 6 years of being alone, raising her daughter alone she finally was one step closer to finding Lucas dad.

“Hey. Hey. Don't cry Ellie.” He wrapped his arms around her tightly.  

“How can you be so calm? I just told you there is a possibility you have a child.”

“I know. I'm not going to lie Ellie, I am kind of freaking out. But what good is it going to do if I flip out?”  he took a deep breath “You did it on your own?”

Ellie told him about finding out in school and trying to get in touch with both him and colt, both numbers disconnected. She had her dad look for them, but turned nothing up. Eventually she just resolved herself to raising Luca alone. Logan apologised, he left town for a little while, he came back once the brotherhood was dismantled completely. It was then he enrolled in night school and took a job with a racing company.  They drove back to her house in silence. Logan leaned over giving her a hug. “It's gonna be ok El, we will figure it out. Can I.” He cut himself off, hesitant to finish.

“Can you what Logan?”

“Do you think I could meet her?” Ellie stared at him shocked “Ah. Well. I think that is ok. But, and don't take this the wrong way but.  I don't want to tell her you may be her dad. Not until we know for sure.” Logan nodded “I'll follow your lead. It's gonna be ok Ellie, no matter what,  i'm here for you.” he wrapped her in a tight hug, placing a soft kiss in her cheek.

She got out of the car, waving as he drove off. She turned to head to her house when she caught sight of someone standing across the street. “Really Ellie, him? Of all people why him?”

“Not that I have to explain anything to you but, it was a business dinner.” She snapped. “what do you want colt?”

“What do I want? It's been 6 years and you show up in town like nothings wrong.” He followed her up the walkway.  

“Oh, so you do know me? Because yesterday you couldn't even look at me.” She seethed, turning to face him.

“Oh I know you alright.” he snorted.  “ how could I ever forget you Mrs. Kneko?”

Tags: Permatag

@kennaxval @hopefulmoonobject @crookedslimecreatorpasta @be-still-my-aching-heart @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @riseandshinelittleblossom @cocomaxley @bobasheebaby @ownworldresident @cordoniaqueensworld @indiacater

ROD

@daniv2278 @brightpinkpeppercorn @lovehugsandcandy @going-down-downtown @mercyparkcrew @emichelle @annekebbphotography @powdesiree0816 @walkerismychoice @yesivefallenpreytothechoicestrap @zaira-oh-zaira @sweetest-marbear

@simsvetements @zaffrenotes @professorortegasstudent @akrenich @ifyouseekheart @client-327 @choicelogansbitch

[dolce-fritz]

So being the new evil girlfriend is fun

So recently my Partner has had some majorly stupid ass drama with their ex. Like this girl, she’s loopier then the Olympic oval, Like normally I’m nice and don’t slander people but like. She’s just, hoo boy. A mess.

And yeah this is from a completely biased stand point. And I’m about to tell you why that I feel the way that I do about this girl from my own experiences. This is going to be long winded, so I’m putting it under a read more. 

So I moved from the lovely state of Utah this year, my homelifes never been 100% great. I love my mom but our issues clash and we do better separate. Not to mention I really wanted to try it out in another state again and this time the right way and not just a spur of the moment decision while i visited like what happened with Florida.

Well, planned my vacation to See my at the time friend to see if I really liked it there.  I knew about their recent split with their Ex, and the two seemed pretty amicable about it. The other roommate was.... hoo, a mess to say the least. and My friend didn't want to be alone with her because they actually had been wanting to tell her to leave because of the issues that she'd brought into the home. anyways that in itself was a bit of drama.

So I was like OK. I'll come check it out and if I like it I'll be your new room mate.

Well. I plan my trip about four weeks out. and end up pretty excited about it. Come to find out with no real surprise that My friends Ex is going to move out before Octobers over.

My friend starts panicking. again doesn't wanna be alone with the other roommate that they're having hardships with. So I say ok... I'm going to do this vacation, then im just going to move on the 20th so I can get my stuff packed.

Shits already starting to go down hill.

I get there. everything seems fine. The ex seems nice, things seem ok. the other roommates.... already trying to cause shit with me and im not even physically in the house. I'm sleeping on a mattress on the floor in an old office space. bought a bunch of furniture because at this point. I know I'm moving here. Its going to happen. This is where I'm going to live might as well help my friend end up getting it taken care of.

Well. Day three of my vacation hits. The ex drops that her dad wants her to move out that day. completely screws the pooch for my friend and the other roommate. And basically bails on them and leaves the house just with the things she wants and then just leaves all the rest of her junk here like its her own storage unit. claims she’ll be back for the rest [ Spoilers never happened]  so that... right there puts this sour taste in my mouth. Cause yeah, me and her ex at that point are sharing a bed. Because like theres only three beds in the house until she ends up leaving and so my friends like ill just sleep with you. me i’m very fine sharing my sleeping space with my friends. i’ve done it literally all my life. hell a its not a goodnight sleep unless your on your best friends bed snuggling the shit out of her kaneki ken body pillow listening to true crime documentaries on the TV but like seriously it was no big deal to me. which im begining to wonder if it was a big deal to her. Either way apparently instead of waiting till i officially moved. she bailed and forced my hand. So I had to stay, I couldn’t properly say goodbye to my mom. couldn’t properly get my shit packed. all cause I really didn’t want to leave my friend alone till I could officially move in. So already, I started getting a slight distaste in my mouth for her. but I let it slide. I know how overbearing parents are sometimes.  well, so i cancelled my flights. money spent that i was never going to end up getting back that I could’ve later used towards something for the house.  The girl left. and I was left, Cleaning up the mess that she walked out of and left behind.  Turns out my friend was the only one that was cleaning up around the house. and working a part time job, while trying to side hustle some art for extra money.  They were the one that was handling all the utilities, while their ex was buying everyone food. Separate it would’ve been an easier task if it was just the two of them. but you add in the extra roommate that was only paying her share of rent and none of the food and utilities and shit starts piling up. Well.  sat down and looked at all the finances. found out that while yeah the Ex was making the most money. She didn’t bother to help out with any of the chores. I mean, they split the dish duty. And i’m sitting here wondering how long this pan of fish oils been on the stove for. had to buy new pans cause they were growing cultures.  Hell half her chores and the other roomates were doing the cat boxes. dude it was shit mountain in there. it was so bad the cats were going in the corner. Yet it was like my friend was expected to pick up after them and pick up their slack because they didn’t work as many hours as the other two. Which I’m sorry. if you can’t balance cleaning up after yourself. and working how the hell are you going to live on your own.  Well in comes me, the living off disability. [ which is not a glorious life] I have a lot of time on my hands. so first few days we douche out the house. things start looking good.  in comes the ex to get something and brings this utter douchebag of a man that boasts about him being the whole reason that they broke up. Which like when we were moving out the ex. the ex’s dads...girlfriend??? was like dont let them take advantage of you. which like made me pull up a shit ton of questionmarks. cause yeah i wasn’t going to let the other roommate do that cause i was kinda aware what her game was and it wasn’t playable with me.  everyone had their part to play in this household, and I wasn’t going to play mother for anyone. Well in comes this guy. boast about how he wont let anyone take advantage of her again and im like sure w/e dude. but like i started like... questioning wtf she was actually telling people that my friend actually did to her.  see, what i was told was that it was an intimacy issue. my friends pretty Asexual so like there wasn’t alot of physical involvement. and that things just weren’t going the way that their ex wanted them to. Turns out it was SOOOO much more then that. so curious me, got digging about this girl cause shit just wasnt really adding up.  and I started finding out things. At this time, friend started turning to partner. and eventually we started dating which made shit a lot more uncomfortable with me and this girl. cause yanno, new girlfriend. ex girlfriend. two things dont usually mesh well in situations like this.  Well so, started finding out that while in a relationship she was leading on a bunch of other guys, and at work would like do this whole “im bi” thing if the guy was cute. like she was very male centered for a “lesbian”  She was super horny on main during DND which made EVERYONE uncomfortable. to top it all off she was a narcissist, that had a victim that she could toy with.  She tried to convince my partners parents while they were still together, to talk to their child when there were behaviours that she didnt like. She tried to have an intervention with their friends to force them into transitioning FtM when they were happy just being nonbinary.  they would gaslight them, manipulate them, and  abuse them. I watched this girl in the span of three weeks tear my partner down with her words in front of me. and be nothing but venomous to them. for no other reason then they were actually happy.   While spining all these stories of how she was the one that was wronged.  Well, I started having enough of her coming around just so she could be mean to my partner. She’d come over. immediately go to our fridge to drink some of the booze she left and then pick at my partner for small insignificant things only because she wanted to fight. When i had enough of that. I told my partner, we’re going to DnD early. she can find her own ride.  She came to a family party, invited unknowingly by my partners brother that’s been over seas and in the military. She thought she was going to get a hookup complained she wasn’t having fun because he wasn’t paying attention to her. Snapped at my partners nephews because they wanted to play and made one of them cry. and was just toxic to be around.  That was strike two.  Strike three was watching how she conducted herself around our dnD group. she’d had this guy, mister “ i saved you from your bad relationship” on speed dial, and would tell him things. and then sit and shit talk him when she was bored with him to everyone. We were all sick of it.  The ending straw with me, was when we finally wanted to be done with this drama. told her three months before hand to get off the car insurance. and it wasn’t done. ended up causing a big thing.  She started saying that she’d leave the DND group to make things easier. because Thats what my partner would want. At this point i couldnt stand it any longer. Three months talking to everyone that physically knows her. and see’s what she’s becoming lead everyone to say the same thing about her She was turning into her mother.  No i know fuck all about that. i dont know her mother, i dont know anything about her. I know she’s on a shot that fucks with your brain and ends up messing with your body. I also was on the DEPO shot for three years of my life and its caused so many problems after i was off it.  and thats what i tried to impart to her my wisdom on.  therapy, and a depo shot.  now how we got there is really long winded, and highly dramatic.  id admitted to her our dnd group wanted to chat. she was pushy, respected no ones boundaries, and left our friends house a complete mess. just like she left ours... and god, she ended up pissing me off cause the girl left slippers caked in cat puke in my tub after staining my bathroom doing her hair dye. she disrespected my home, she disrespected out friends, and our friends home. and she was needlessly mean and cruel to everyone around her that didnt serve some purpose to her.  So yeah she had to go.  Here i am thinking that this is the end of it. but i get updates about how I’m apparently the worst abuser in the world just cause I told some spoiled brat of a woman to get off a shot that messes with the brain, and to seek therapy cause this girl needs help. Funny thing is im not the only one that said it. apprently just the loudest voice to have said it.  and this bitch still thinks i dont like her cause she’s not ‘ providing for us financially” We may not have a high roller life. but damn we’re doing just fucking fine. 

[cleaduvalls]

i watched “spy kids 4″ exactly twice and i plan to keep it that way. here are my thoughts

i had the volume up from the last one because it was SO QUIET and now my ears hurt. not a great start

i used to think that was carmen and i was so disappointed because i wanted to see carmens kids 😔

tik tok????? oh no

i thought tick tock was matthew lillard for most of the movie

you cant do that in the SIMS

why are you shifitng gears. you dont need to shift gears

shut up wilbur have YOU given birth?????

YOU GO IN AT EVERY FIVE TO SEVEN MINUTES AND YOURE AT THREE ARE YOU S T U P I D

wait it sounds like ive given birth i havent i assure you

a pregnant belly wouldnt make that sound

yeah alright whatever shaggy youre high

isnt she from girl meets world??????

itd make a better sitcom honestly

hahah funney because shes a spy

WHY ARE YOU NOT IN THERE WITH YOUR W I F E

birth is NOT that short

i would be great at cinemasins

oh!!!! disabled character!!!!

who approved this show

oh like its HER fault

youre watching the clock speed up why are you not suspicious

roll credits

argonaut. my english teacher would like that

its 5 o clock somewhere

have you not been watching the show??????

there is a serious lack of floop

i feel like ive seen the boy before too

guess not

also i guess this one had a smell feature?????? ig thats why the baby farts so much

AND IT EXPLAINS THE DRESSING!!!! YOU CAN SMELL DRESSING!!!!!

dont say stepmother its creepy

ooh tinker toys!!!! real ones this time!!!!

girl its dyed blue youre gonna stain your carpet

oh God she wants to be FRIENDS

epic????? No

these pranks can all be used for smellovision

aromascope ig??????

BEING FRIENDS!!!! THATS SOME FANFIC LEVEL TROPEYNESS

oops

the CHEETOS

because you pulled the prank?????

power move

those are really your worst fears?????

i have almost that exact clock

youre looking for SPIES not VILLIANS

i kinda want a clock hand sword

MARISSA NO IM DYING OF SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT

cecils so chill

it looks like the slime from floops castle..... i miss floop

felix has been replaced??? by a computer voice????

oh mood

hahah carmen said that

is that ricky gervais

oh!!!! they broke gender binary!!!!!! took the other chair!!!!!

worlds smallest camera!!!!!!

yeah hes right theres no invisibility powder

ew

its not a SPACESHIP theyre not IN SPACE

hey can we maybe not put that in a movie thanks

yeah i hate this one

that fall was awful

C A R M E N!!!!!!!!!!!

wilbur youre so boring

spy week???? dont you mean shark week?????

buddypack!!!!

IS THAT THE PICTURE FROM WHERE THEY ENTERED FLOOPS CASTLE AND THEN JUNI SAW A THUMB THUMB

i watch these movies too much

except this one this one sucks

7 years ago????? when game over came out????? nice

THE BRAIN THING THAT MADE FOOGLIES!!!

SPY PLANE!!!

SEA GUPPY!!!!

CARMENS GAME SUIT!!!!

why does she still have that

HOW does she still have that

MACHETES ELECTROSHOCK GUMBALLS!!!!!!

DRAGON SPY!!!!

take that giggleses

JUNI!!!! only video tho ://

oof

WAIT I JUST SAW ARGONAUTS NAME TAG AND MY DOG HAD THAT SAME ONE BUT IN PINK AND WE HAD TO GET HER A NEW ONE BECAUSE IT WAS S O  L O U D

your baby is your back up????? Bad Idea

did you not name your child????

why did they pause for a label????

stop making time puns i hate you

i really hope those are floops. like the cereal

stop calling her stepmother like its her name its CREEPY

stop WASTING them

just say youre marissas kids?????? they know who she is

oh God piss joke

oh God POOP joke

right its the bombs that make him cool not the fact that hes literally ricky gervais

and a fart joke????? i hate this movie

silent but LETHAL???? awfyl. i hate it

toot??? stop making fart jokes

OH THEYRE GETTING CHASED CUZ THE SAPPHIRE i need to pay attention more. i blame buzzfeed

“you weirdo you vaporized us” STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO LIKE THIS MOVIE BY PLAYING ON MY NOSTALGIA

its not working btw. i hate this movie

oh look. a butt joke.

oh yay disney acid trip

uh yeah???? hes ricky gervais

yeah except shes WHITE

i kinda wanna go to the cheese shop. wisconsin instincts ig

thats not a WORD

no the red ones the second hand do you know anything?????

how does she know how to army crawl???? shes EIGHT

there are 42 minutes left im suffering

oh no he died

is she wearing twinkle toes??????

did they.... teleport???? was that an awkward cut???? did they straight up travel through time????? im so confused

yknow as an OBVIOUS choice for the next doctor, floop should REALLY be in the movie centered around time

im gonna punch this dude

IM GONNA PUNCH THIS DUDE TOO YOU CAN STILL BE A FAMILY AND CALL YOURSELF STEPKIDS

hes the hulk

oh dear he referenced a meme

he just called the google lady annoying im gonna punch him next

n i c e

SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS!!!!!!

yeah theyre gonna flip youre STALKING THEM

that seems like a Bad Idea

try harder rebecca

IF YOURE GONNA TAKE THEM THERE W H A T DO YOU THINK THEYRE GONNA DO???????

dude you look like youre on crack

youre gonna divorce her because she wasnt allowed to tell you?????????

W H A T

no???? ofc not???? you have no weapons??????

DUDE CHILL SHE L I T E R A L L Y COULDNT TELL YOU

and i feel fine~

J U N I!!!!!!!!!!! FOR REALS!!!!!!!!

oh shiitake mushrooms he got kinda cute

you can???? reach into the garbage can???????

BECAUSE YOURE CHILDREN!!!!!! THEY SHUT DOWN THE SPY KIDS PROGRAM!!!!!!

i love the sound of clockwork. so soothing. that doctor who episode with the time robots???? a fave

oh no they all have died

M A C H E T E!!!!!!!!

why did juni freeze if he didnt really freeze???? thats some buzz lightyear level stuff

oh hey i just realized that junis hair is back!!

oh no now argos the hulk too

the baby looks like dora

hahah funney

HE WAS TOAST IN THE FIRST MOVIE S T O P  P L A Y I N G  O N  N O S T A L G I A

and diaper lady???? Stop

nice censorship

can hearing aids work that well???? im no expert but i dont think they can do that?????

taking his hearing aids???? i hate this guy

R A L P H!!!!

oh!!!!!! sign language!!!!!

Even Evil Has Standards

are they trying to make me cry?? im not

you can travel through time youre just not COOL ENOUGH

oh worm????

side note i figured they were the same guy but i was so disappointed when it wasnt matthew lillard

please let this be over i need to mindlessly scroll the spy kids wiki

stop being philosophical youre wearing twinkle toes

roll credits

us???? wouldnt that be me???? or is us right??? clones are wack

yEET

oh no he died

why did he float???? did they run out of gravity?????

he moved before he touched the watch

yeah but hell see his dad again and thats the point of this whole thing????

oh no he died. for reals this time

this time???? you have 6 months

STOP👏MAKING👏TIME👏PUNS👏

i cant raise my eyebrow😔

YOU CANT DO THAT WE JUST DISCUSSED IT

thats hot

WHY DOES SHE NOT HAVE A NAME

yes bc youre a robot shut up

oh thank God its over

[ellerevelle]

okay so im feeling crazy and detached again (as usual lately)

but instead of spiraling into absolute fucking panic, I’m deciding to take today to just ... not wholly subscribe to this manner of thinking BUT. JUST FOR NOW. I feel like taking some of the craziness flack off myself and blaming it on some shit outside of myself. Because feeling this weird and detached cant all just be me. So here’s a brainstorming of whats got me fucked up, in no particular order: 

Trump is our stupid President

That guy who told me he loved me daily and asked me to be his girlfriend after basically living with me immediately after meeting me and I fell for hard despite a ton of red flags CHEATED on me while I was away visiting home. 

And then blamed it on MY bad communication? fuck that guy. 

But now I see one of the girls he slept with (multiple times, three days in a row) I see her everywhere all the time in everyones instagrams, at everyones parties... ugh. 

Um. People are dying. Close to me. More importantly and spefcifically women I love are dead. 

I didnt get to see Inga before she died. I was too busy forging a relationship with CHEATER GUY. Didnt get home in time to see her. Talk to her. 

Grandma. This has been the whole first year without her, come November. Its subtle, but terrible and I hate it. She was my last matriarch. The last woman who’s blood is in me. 

because Mom’s dead too. And has been since August of 2015. 2015, right? God it feels like forever ago now, probably because I’ve pushed it away. She died unexpectedly and NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS SAID THE WORD SUICIDE OUT LOUD even though thats what happened. She OD’d on prescribed opiate painkillers to escape her depression. And we NEVER talk about it. 

So I kindof feel insane. Not talking about things that are clearly there. Like, are they not clearly there for anybody else? Now all my women are gone. My brother literally avoids talking about feelings. My dad is a little more receptive but is more the comforting type than the forthcoming, express onesself type. Getting sentimentality out of my brother is like pulling teeth sometimes. But yet if his son does something cute, its God’s Work and he cant help but cry and get that beautiful lovie squishy look on his face. 

I’m jealous of my own nephew. I see the way my Mom loved me, in the way my Brother loves his son. And I miss being that perfect to somebody. My Dad loves me forever and always and there isnt a word for how grateful I feel for our relationship. I dont take that for granted at all. It actually kindof scares me because... hah, well what if Dad dies? Like, before I’m ready? I’ll be even MORE fucked! 

Anyways. Austins been pissing me off. I’m sorry but although Polyamory is possible and cool and im sure quite beautiful for many, 

The Austin poly scene is fucked and tainted and a bunch of slutty people having orgies and not TALKING about anything and its ruining the healthy vibe poly is incumbent upon. 

So, whatever I’m angry. So fuck that noise. 

I feel like because of cheater guy and my anger at the psuedo poly orgy sexy bullshit scene in Austin, I feel like I’ve broken up with a whole group of friends. Like, I dont want to be around any of it. I dont want to see you eat mushrooms and twerk. I dont want to see your stupid, super naked outfit. I dont think its hot you carry a flogger or can pole dance or slink around like a tarantino character. It used to be hot and thrilling and fun, when I felt like it was connected and for love and sharing and caring. But now it all just is slutty and vapid and useless and cold. Like a sad clown. And thats not sexy, its dark and desperate. *this is about both VERY particular people and broad general strokes. There are several extremely amazing friends in the scene and outskirts thereof that truly inspire me and dont fall into this catagory in my mind, although they’d probably still be angry with me for dissing things ^^ the way I just did but. fuck it, this is MY journal entry and I can be irrational if I want to. 

You cant be open fucking minded ALL the time. Sometimes people really arent acting with anyones best intentions but their own. I’ve used up SO MUCH FUCKING ENERGY making myself soften and open and “woke” and trying to go with everybodys flow. And I’m exhausted and over it. I have my own principles and theres nothing wrong with having differing opinions than someone else. 

All summer I’ve been feeling like I’m a bad person for not liking or not understanding this hyper sexual scene in Austin. I thought, “why am I shaming a scene thats giving me opportunity to really shine and be free?” when, in an IDEAL world, yes thats what the scene could be. But in what actually fucking unfolds -- humans SUCK and dudes SUCK and girls SUCK and everybody (especially when horny) are fucking STUUUUPIIIIIDDDD and ideals get thrown out the window! people arent nearly as “woke” as I gave them the actual credit for. Seriously. So! I’m fuckin OUTTIE! 

I’ve felt broken up with a whole scene. FUck cheater guy, fuck poly, fuck orgies, fuck people who are reckless with my love. 

Back to the list:

I’ve been eating too much out of boredom. Which I’ll blame on lack of quality social interaction in this town. Where are the scholars? Where are the sexy edgy BRAINY people? I’m tired of hot people in little clothing in the summer. 

Ah! Another thing for the list. its been TOO FUCKING HOT OUT. FOR MONTHS. 100 DEGREES FOR MONTHS. thats enough to make anyone insane. 

So i’m sick of teenie boppers in their nothing outfits in the heat. 

I want old smart people in peacoats. I miss books and weather and frowns. Irritable debates about literature or physics or religious theories. 

I only like my own brand of cigarettes. 

My roommates are annoying me. I dont really like my house anymore. Theres too many humans and not enough square footage. Four people to one kitchen is TOO MUCH SHIT. EVERYONE BUYS THEIR OWN BANANAS AND THEY ALLLLLL GO BROWN ON THE TABLE. thats four peoples worth of bad bananas. FUcking stupid. 

I dont have a hairdresser here. Sometimes when I feel shitty I like to throw money at the problem. Buy something. Get a haircut. See a show. Etc. 

And my hairdresser love is in Philadelphia and getting a flight to get a haircut is slightly insane (without a longer visit)

I miss Adam. 

What else can I blame my upset on. Shitty politics, shitty weather, shitty social sexual scene in my town, I dont like my house, I dont like my hair. Its too expensive to live here. No one in my immediate acquaintance or friend circle seems interested in the sort of romantic relationship I’m seeking, nor if they did does anyone have the “it” factor I look for which I’ll *try* to describe maybe in another post. 

So. I sit inside my room and try to fix stupid remedial things as if itd make a big impact. I tidy and put away clothes in attempt to feel less cluttered but am too scared to make BIG cuts and BIG changes. So instead I light insence and watch netflix and eat too much. I have started going to Barre3 again more and have been semi regular with therapy so thats something. 

I really ought to start doing “morning pages” like the book Fiona loaned me suggests in its FIRST GODDAMN CHAPTER. But, alas, I am lazy. 

No, I have become recently lazy. 

I’m spoiled. I dont do things I dont want to do. Its a major character flaw. I only push and struggle if I see worthyness in it, and lately theres been serious lack of evidence of that in, well, anything.

 #depression! 

so, I guess in summation- because nothing has been a WORTHWHILE struggle, EVERYTHING feels like a struggle. Humph. thats... thats not good. But it does, because i dont see the worth in a lot of goals or tasks or even relationships, (and i dont mean the greedy “what can I GET for ME out of this!” sort of b.s.) (I mean the... conserve precious energy, is this going to teach me something or help me grow as a person or bring love into my life sort of vibe) ...

when I dont think the energy expenditure is going to pay off, I dont do it. Or I do it half way or lazily or with tentative fear. I guess I could do an experiment and just do everything with HOPE and see if my energy put in will get a different result... but. like. I feel like I did that all summer and he cheated on me. And my “friends” said “dont be angry, be poly” and I couldnt call on my Mom or Grandma and so I call on eating and isolation and running away to visit home where no one cares I dont have a job. where the house is big and the air is cold and my friends are smart. 

I really miss Kristian. That was one of the greatest feelings of self love in my entire life. I felt like, if someone that special noticed ME. Saw ME. Little old, semi chubby, not famous ME, and wanted me around for a couple tour dates. Then I ought to believe in myself TOO. I wanted to dance, I wanted to make art, I wanted to take photos, I wanted to be bold, I wanted to be humble, I felt so open and content with myself. I was motivated to work out, I was motivated to eat healthy and clean and small portions. It was easy. It felt so fun. I loved him. I dreamt big. My imagination was so warm and excited. My inner critic was GONE. 

But he faded away. He got back with his ex. The shooting star left the sky. I’m still grateful for the experience at all, but. 

I feel a little stupid for thinking anything could’ve happened. 

And I truly miss feeling so special and excited about life. 

I dont want to run away from Austin out of fear. But I cant tell if I’m unhappy and want to leave genuinely, or if this is the spoiled part of me thats like, “this sucks, lets leave.” instead of pushing though, curating something better with some struggle, and sticking it out. 

How do people make big life decisions like this? I feel like thats what marriages do. People stay together and fight. But sometimes they get divorced anyways, its just been longer. More years wasted. When maybe it wouldve been healthier to leave sooner and cut the cord and be free to live without, sooner. 

I really like a lot of things about this city. But I really dislike a lot too. And I cant tell where I want my life to go, in a grand sense, so its hard to pick which attributes will matter in the long run. 

I dont think I should leave yet. Maybe a new house. Or like, serious efforts to declutter this one. Is this just excuses? Ugh. 

Declutter this house. If that doesnt feel better, leave the house and move to a new part of austin. If that doesnt feel better, leave austin. 

I need a job. 

[swampgallows]

outrageously awful and gory and uncomfortable nightmare. jesus fucking christ. 

being pursued throughout an 80s looking office building, light only coming through windows, like we get him but he becomes utterly fucking maimed afterward. in the nightmare he was clearly some kind of pedophile and the dude who helped me (me, a nonverbal and possibly autistic adult man, in my nightmare) tortured the shit out of him and utterly maimed his dick. in ways i odnt want to describe. he was howling and crying in a specific way, really high pitched, thats still playing in my head as im writing this. it was ‘me’ earlier in the dream i think but i was trying to scream, trying to call out, trying to yell at the man pursuing me in order to intimidate him (i could see the whites of his wild eyes through slats and keyholes and, at one point, some kind of mail delivery slot on the floor, darting around in a sweat, frantically and hungrily chasing me) but i couldnt call out, i couldnt make noise, and by a point in the dream i realized as an observer that ‘i’ was now a nonverbal adult man, had a calendar full of printed images and could only say a few words when i mmanaged to. 

the calendar was full of ‘my’ writing but it was all disjointed and elementary-looking, as if written by a young child. flipping through the calendar i saw my own ‘allowed to die’ painting printed in there in a bunch of different sizes and panels, and there were other parts of it in the same color scheme like a comic. an older gentleman was ridiculing me at first, calling me the r slur, mocking how i couldnt speak, but he saw the man trying to get at me and helped me arrest him. i, still as the disabled adult man, was trying to help the man with me arrest the pedo and put handcuffs on him, so my big doughy hands tried pinning back the pedos and instead he grabbed my hand and held it, squeezed it, squeezed it so fucking violently tight like “im going to fucking get you” even though he was being handcuffed. and then thats when the older man with me (he had a mustache, looked like a typical “movie neighbor dad” from 80s/90s kinda sitcoms like SPECIFICALLY DENNIS THE MENACE is coming to me, like the neighbor from dennis the menace jesus

OH CHRIST AND EARLIER IN THE NIGHTMARE IT WAS ME AND COOKIES AND DIEGO BUT I WAS LIKE ...TRYING TO SHOOT UP HEROIN??? god im only remembering blips of it, i remmeber in the dream i had done it ‘just once’ and i remember feeling rubbery but overall kind of good, like the dull pain from when youve been working out and your muscles are sore but it feels ‘productive’. and i was thinking like ‘oh man thye cant find out that i did it, but i only did it once’. we were in some house where the ground was uneven, i used the restroom in the dream totally pissed at my friends because i said “i dont want to talk about this with [so and so] here (there was another guy there in the dream, i didnt know him)” but they talked to him about it anyway. so i like stormed off to use the restroom and there was water ALL over the floor because the ground was uneven, like there was a leak in the sink or something but it filled up the bathroom and the next room. 

i heard the new guy from the other room be like ‘trying not to spark a wire and kill us’ or something, then he called out that there was a ‘shiny dragon’ from th enext room, like he was playing pokego and trying to entice me to get out of the bathroom and so they could intervene on me having shot up. and i remember only blips about injecting, that it was to a specifc song (and i was thinking in the dream ‘oh no ive ruined this song for myself every time i hear it im only going to think about shooting up), and that i actually got the needle from someone else, like grabbed it off of someone on the street. i dont know when it shifted but i think me trying to hide from/avoid the stranger dude among my friends then shifted into being in some oldschool office building being chased by the pedo. in the times where i could lock myself in those offices and the one filing room and could only see the guy’s eyes searching for me i think the transformation happened. 

when the older man helped me catch him he fucking like pulled on his dick so hard he like stretched the skin til it was red and thin like a rubber band and tied it on itself which sounds like a cartoon but in the dream looked extremely visceral and red, like i could see all his spider veins and it was really flushed and irritated and the man was fucking screaming the whole time. it was like he had ‘tucked’ it to the point of mutilation. it sounds like a great revenge but it was terrible to watch and not a cathartic nightmare at all. i just feel violated and chased and unsafe. 

awful fucking nightmare

[thestagthatlovedthewolf]

Parentdale Appreciation Week

Day 6 -  Favorite Dynamic

Fred Andrews, Alice Cooper and FP Jones!!

I want this group so much!!! This a relationship I definitely want to see and it’s something I always adore seeing in fics - I think they are just three people that would work so well together - they are so different and they have different methods, but they also all have such an ability to care and love!! I just really think they would balance and complement each other out.

Then I also already love the pairs we find here. We haven’t seen as much of Fred and Alice as I would want, but I LOVE the little times they share looks (like in the last episode), or how they care for each other as neighbors, or that sweet and soft moment in the flashback!!

Fred and FP is probably my favorite friendship in the entire show (and I see the possible romance there as well if it goes that route) - the way they protect each other and lean on each other!!! I LOVE that their relationship has healed (FP having Fred’s back on the scene with Hiram has to be one of my favorite scenes in the all show!!), but I wish we had seen more of how they rebuilt their trust on each other after the fallout. And still pissed they cut the scene where they ask to be each other’s sponsors, because that was beautiful and my heart broke ina million pieces.

Then, of course, FP and Alice!! I LOVE how we’re seeing them come to trust each other again, all because their kids came together and they got to see each other again :) I love all the complicated feelings from the past they had together and a reality Alice tried to hide from, and I always look forward to seeing how their relationship can move forward from here. 

But these three pairs is not enough, and I really want to see the friendship between this trio, and all of them having each other’s backs!!! So for today, I actually wrote a small drabble, mostly ignoring canon, because I don’t like the idea they interacted for the first time in detention, because FP and Alice, and FP and Fred (and consequently Fred and Alice) go way back... So enjoy some kid stuff!! [AO3]

Fred was tired of being left behind. Stupid FP and Alice were always doing that and it was not Fred's fault that they weren't neighbors - his stupid parents were the ones who bought the house here, instead of the Southside. His mom didn't even let him go there, she always said that FP and Alice should come over - they didn't mind (and Fred didn't either, really, but still...) - but he was mad that everyday they would come to school with stupid stories he wasn't a part of.

So tonight, after his parents checked on him and went to bed, Fred got up, arranged some pillows under the covers, like he had seen people do in the movies, and climbed out of his window, using the ladder he had smartly put under his window earlier that day. He climbed on his bike and started the ride across the town and river.

The town was quiet this late at night, and Fred didn’t like it. Not that he was scared, of course not, he was almost thirteen and he was not afraid of the dark - he was too grown up for that. But it still felt weird, the town seemed dead like this, so seeing the neon lights from Pops helped calm him down.

For some reason, after crossing the river, the silence was gone and he could see people everywhere, still moving around, and once again Fred felt weird - not scared, of course, he wasn’t a baby anymore.

He still remembered the way to the trailer park from the few times he had been over, only with his parents to pick one of his friends or both, but most times just FP, back before Alice joined them in middle school. But reaching the trailer park, he couldn’t tell which one was FP’s and he started questioning his decision, as adults and some older kids started yelling at him.

“Leave him alone, assholes,” he heard FP yell at a group of teens, running in his direction, but it didn’t stop them, as they started taunting him, and even using Junior, which he knew FP hated and had stopped using in 3rd grade.

“Fuck off,” Alice came right after, throwing the finger at the older kids, who still wouldn’t stop.

“Fred, what are you doing here?” FP asked.

“Why are you in your pajamas?” Fred couldn’t answer that, he couldn’t tell them he wanted this to feel like a sleepover and he had thought of them in their pajamas too.

“Who’s the baby, Junior?” someone yelled. “Another client for your mom, Smith?”

“Fuck off.”

“Watch your language, kid.”

“Leave them alone,” another voice said, it was a girl probably around 15 or 16, with brown hair, who seemed to hold authority over everybody else. “You okay, FP? Alice?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Yes,” Alice answered. “But I had it handled.”

“Of course. I’m sure you can kick all their butts,” she said coming closer. “Go on. I will keep your friend’s bike safe.”

“Thank you,” Fred said. “I’m Fred,” he said, offering his hand, before Alice was pulling on him.

“Let’s go.”

“Who’s she?”

“That’s Gladys. FP has a crush on her.”

“I do not.”

“You do.”

“I do not.”

“You do.”

“Shut up, Alice.”

“She seems nice,” Fred said, trying to diffuse the situation - he knew how these two got when they started arguing. “So what’s happening?”

“Nothing,” Alice answered at the same time as FP told him it was Serpent Business, and Alice kicked him again. He was brought to where they had been siting before, he could recognize their school books, only Alice’s. Fred now recognized FP’s trailer behind him, full of people inside.

“Why are you here, Fred?” she asked, pulling him between them. And no matter how he was taller than the two of them - something he felt very proud of - right now, between the two of them, he felt rather small.

“I don’t know. You just seemed to have fun and you had talked about hanging out tonight and I thought...”

“God, Fred,” Alice said, starting to laugh. 

“What’s going on?”

“It’s complicated,” FP answered, he was never good at explaining stuff and he could tell Alice didn’t want him to talk.

“Fred, we hang out, at midnight, because I can’t go home and FP can’t go home.”

“Why?”

“Because... because my mom is busy, and his dad is busy too.”

“When my parents are busy, I can just stay in my room or watch TV in the living room. I don’t get why you can’t do that.”

“Because we can’t, Fred,” FP said.

“So what do you do?”

“Most times, I try to do homework, while FP throws rocks at people or cars, until someone comes over and yells at us.”

“And when do you go to bed?”

“My mom is hopefully done around 1 am. FP will probably crash with me tonight.”

“Why? Does this happen every night?”

“Of course not,” she said.

“Would the Serpents be as lucky to get this kind of money every day...” FP murmured. “Once a month, maybe, if they are lucky. Once every two/three months is probably more correct.”

“But you have more stories.”

“Not this late. Do you know how late it is?”

“No, I was just waiting for my parents to go to bed and they took too long.”

“Come on. You should go home,” FP said. “I’m going to go get my bike.”

“Why do I need to go?”

“Because it’s late and you’re worrying your parents and I don’t want them to think FP and I are bad influences. FP would be inconsolable if he couldn’t see you.”

“I’m ready.”

“I’m taking the bike,” Alice said, taking the bike from his hands.

“No, it’s mine.”

“Penny has mine and I’m not going to ride in the back, FP. And I ride better than you.”

“You do not.”

“I do.”

“You do not.”

“I do.”

“You broke your arm riding a bike,” Fred pointed out, before they spent the rest of the night like this.

“I’ll let you go get Fred’s bike from Gladys.” That seemed to convince FP, as he went up to the older kids. “Keep guard over the bike, don’t let anyone take it, including FP. I’m just going to hide my books.”

Alice picked up her stuff and ran two trailers over - Fred guessed that was hers, it looked very much like FP’s. The garden at the front was a bit cleaner, but everything else was pretty much the same - it was just not as noisy as the Jones’ home.

“What took you so long?” FP asked as she joined them, she ignored him and got on his bike, as he took the seat on the back. 

Mom had told him it wasn’t safe for two people to ride on one bike, which was true, because he and Hal had still tried it when they were seven and Hal ended up with a scuffed elbow and his mom didn’t let him play outside for two full weeks. But FP and Alice were good at it and they didn’t fall one time.

Fred rode next to them, slowly, taking the longer path home, and they went along the town, making up stories about each house they passed, Riverdale, at least the Northside, was still quiet and deserted, but this time, with his best friends next to him, Fred didn’t feel even one bit scared - but of course, he wasn’t scared before either.

[kris-side]

i feel no guilt for the people who gotta see my art multiple times bc this blog and my rp blogs lolol

anyways y’all wanna know some Things that happened while i was driving today

1) before i even started my god damn truck i spilled coffee that my dad made me all over it :[

2) i passed a fucking State Trooper without my blinker on and didnt realize it was a state trooper till i was already in front of him. thankfully he went and pulled someone else over instead of me hdfshjkdfs (i was just kinda startled bc while driving behind him he moved like all the way to the right so i was like “oh shit okay buddy i’ll pass you np) 

3) i then passed another cop without my blinker, though he was on the side of the road, still should’ve used that blinker. considering i yell at everyone else who doesnt >:V

4) i almost watched a jeep get destroyed cause they tried to pass this truck with a uhall lookin thing and im 100% sure they couldnt see up the road cause 3 seconds into trying to pass this guy i saw them start to slow down and get back behind him as quickly as possible, and then two trucks sped by. ya fucking stupid bitch i slowed down a good 20-25 miles when i saw him trying to make that Shit Maneuver lolol

5) that jeep did eventually pass the dude which left me behind him and then 10+ cars came out of no where and i had a fuckin line behind me and some fucko three cars down decided to be ballsy and pass everyone in front of him (three cars, me, and then the trailer dude in front of me) and honestly i never wanted to kill someone and also piss myself at the same time. terrifying

6) when we got to a proper passing lane me and trailer dude stayed on the right and this one car revved passed me real loud and i flipped em off and im like 60% sure in a later town i saw them get pulled over lmfao so KARMA BITCH

[looselucy]

November

I had never been good at goodbyes. The first goodbye I really remember, was when our pet dog Timmy died, and I forced my mum and dad to give him a funeral, and I probably cried for about a week. Another stand out goodbye in the list of many, was my brother moving to uni, and that was very reasonable for me to be a mess of tears and tantrums, because I hadn’t seen him since he left. One of my most recent goodbyes, was when I moved to university. I was only a few hours away from my parents and our new dog, Timmy-Two, but I absolutely had a breakdown when they dropped me off there. To be honest, they were no better, which was predictable behaviour from Phil and Lisa, always emotional, especially when it came to their darling daughter. The whole thing was atrocious when they left, watery eyes and inaudible sentences and desperate hugs and it was so pathetic I nearly vomit even thinking back to it. And then this one. This goodbye, was just as shit as the rest.

“I promise I’ll come visit!” Grace insisted. I sobbed as I hugged her, not wanting to look at that stupid pink suitcase she had packed behind her, wanting to kick it over or pull all her clothes out and throw them everywhere just to keep her with me a bit longer. “Or,” I sobbed uneasily. “You could just stay!” “Sorry, Pippa, but the uni life is just not for me.” I just kept sobbing, but sobbing this time seemed more plausible than when my parents left, because there was no guarantee she would come back. She promised me she would, but I knew that wasn’t enough. It’s strange, being at uni. Friendships develop so quickly it’s hard to even keep track of how close you all get. And with Grace being in the room next door to mine on our floor, from moving in on September 15th, to November 1st, it was safe to say she was my best friend. I was besotted with her, and I really didn’t want her to leave. She hated her course though, and she dropped out before it was too late, before she was too committed. Not even the end of the first term in our first year, and she was leaving. I was really going to miss her. “Alright, alright!” Zayn barked from beside me. “You’ve been hugging her for about ten minutes now, you’re being selfish, Pip! Let me have a go.” Tears kept rolling down my face as I gave her up for a moment, the rest of the gang moving in to give her a goodbye hug. There was me, Grace (before she selfishly decided to leave) Zayn, Mike, Tally, and Ringo. (I had still to learn Ringo’s real name, she was a quiet one, and a Beatles fan, I think.) Everyone was saying their goodbyes, but no one was quite as emotional as I was about her leaving. They all gave her their hugs and farewells. “You best stay in touch!” Tally instructed. “I will! I promise! God, you’re all so dramatic.” Everyone kind of laughed except me. I was not amused. Zayn moved and gave her a kiss on the head before I took over again, hugging her so tightly it was like I knew for a fact I would never see her ever again. Like I said, I’ve never been good at goodbyes. “You’re an emotional wreck.” She giggled once everyone else had rekindled back in the kitchen, giving us our space. “How many times do I need to promise?” “But I’ll miss living with you.” I tried to calm down. “I love you being here.” “I’ll be back before you know it.” “You better be!” “I’m gunna miss my train...” She groaned. “Fine.” I shot, pulling away from her and wiping away my tears. “Go. Leave me here alone to die.” She backed out of the door, grabbing her suitcase and looking at me whilst giggling. She did always say that she liked how I got emotional about little things, like songs and films and TV shows. But I had calmed a little, finally. I stood in the doorway giving her the weakest smile I could summon. “Gunna miss you, Girl.” She smiled. “You too. Get home safe, okay?” I sniffled. She nodded, and I knew she was emotional too, but she wasn’t the crying type like I was, so the goodbye was lacking tears on her part. I think I cried enough for the both of us. We said goodbye a final couple of times, and by the time she was in the elevator going down to the bottom floor I was relatively calm, wiping away my final few tears. I slumped past our bedrooms as I walked down the corridor, three doors on each side, making my way to the kitchen and living room area of our halls, where they all sat giving me sad head tilts, knowing how close we were, how much I would miss her. I stuck my middle finger up to the lot of them, making them laugh awkwardly, as Ringo quietly went back into her room. Defeated, I flopped down on the sofa and huffed out my sorrow as Zayn tucked me under his arm, kissing my forehead once before we nestled comfortably together. “I can’t believe she’s actually gone.” Mike sighed. “Just like... ‘cause she mentioned it on day one and then stuck around... I kinda thought she was all talk.” That’s what we had all been hoping, because Grace was one of those people who could walk in a room and make everyone’s day a little bit brighter; she could cheer up anyone just by smiling or telling a small joke. She was incredible. “You’re just gutted you didn’t get a chance to shag her.” Zayn chuckled. “Mate, I’m gutted with my sex life full stop! Not just when it comes to her! She was more wife material anyway, I’ll hunt her down in a few years.” I tried to laugh but I really wasn’t in the mood, I just kept staring at the tele as Zayn traced comforting circles on the top of my arm with two fingers, staring at the TV too. We had gotten lucky with our flat, we were in one of the better-quality student accommodations, so everything was modern and nice. The only downfall really was the communal shower rooms, which for some odd reason were placed past the living room and kitchen, so everyone got a good sight of you dashing through in a towel and dripping on the floor whilst they tried to watch TV. But our rooms were lovely, the whole thing was pretty lovely, so we knew it would only be a short amount of time before a student on a waiting list would take Graces now empty room. “How long you gunna be sad for, Pippa?” Tally asked me as she balanced her plate full of pasta on her knees, given we had no table. “Dunno. Could be years. Maybe I’ll never get over it.” “Well you’re gunna have to ‘cause we’re definitely going out tonight!” Mike tried. “I can’t.” I shrugged. “I’m in at nine.” “Pussy!” “Fuck off, Mike!” I giggled, throwing the nearest cushion at him. “Reyt!” He chirped, moving back to the hall. “It’s wank o’clock. See you all soon!” Zayn was in stitches as Mike strolled out of the area and into his room, Tally was trying her best not to laugh but I could see she was failing miserably. “I never knew living with lads would be such a cliché!” I groaned through a stifled laugh. “You lived with your brother, didn’t you?” Tally giggled. “Yeah, but he never announced when he was going for a wank, thankfully.” That just made Zayn laugh even more, he was absolutely creasing next to me, having to move his arm from around me and cover his face. I started to think how even without Grace, I would be fine, because that lot meant the world to me. I shook my head and stood myself up, walking over to my food cabinet and grabbing out a packet of crisps, standing and leaning rather than sitting back down with Zayn, who was still chuckling away to himself. “You sure you can’t come out tonight?” Tally sulked, looking over her shoulder to me. “I really shouldn’t.” I huffed. “You haven’t missed a lecture in like... three weeks.” “To be fair, that is really good.” And it was. The first year of uni seemed to be a complete write-off, and my brother had said exactly the same thing. You could pretty much take the piss in your first year, and still pass. He told me that second year was a little bit harder but you could still go out most days of the week and miss a fair few lectures. However, in his last year, he sounded like he was going to have a mental breakdown he was working so hard. So in my head, I still pretty much had two years of fun left. Missing one lecture, for the first time in almost a month, couldn’t be too bad. And I did need cheering up. Zayn stood himself up and moseyed over to me, hooking his arms around my waist and I put mine over his shoulders, both of us swaying in our hug. “C’mon, Pippa. We have to go out, the only way to deal with sadness is drinking.” “Sad, but true.” I agreed. “So,” He grinned, pulling away from me. “We going out?” I rolled my eyes and shook my head, but obviously I was smiling anyway, caving into the idea of going out and possibly missing a lecture. “Fine.” I breathed. “Let’s do it.” + + + We passed the shots I had bought down the line, Zayn banging his hand on the bar eagerly. It was me, Mike, Tally and Zayn. We had tried to convince Ringo to tag along with us, but she was having none of it, said she had too much work to do. We always tried with her though, and it’s not that we thought she didn’t like us, she was just so withdrawn. But there was nothing we could do other than try. The line of shots made their way down the group, each of us having three each; one red, one green, one purple. I had always been terrible at shots, so I had no idea why I bought them, especially three at a time. Seemed pretty stupid, but there we were. “Alright, on the count of three, we do red!” Zayn shouted, as though he was some kind of soldier ready for war. “We have five seconds before we move onto purple, and a maximum of ten seconds, before we go onto green. Are you with me?” “Shut up, Zayn.” Tally laughed. “I SAID ARE YOU WITH ME?” He shouted in her ear. If I had already taken my first shot I would have spat it out laughing, but thankfully I laughed without spitting the substance everywhere, having a minute to calm down before Zayn counted to three, and we did as we were instructed. I was doing alright until the third shot, whenn I felt like I was going to throw up all over the bar, but luckily, I didn’t. I counted to eight seconds out of my given ten before I finally did the last shot, feeling their affects so quickly, it almost felt like a waste of time that I wasn’t dancing. It took me a little bit longer than the rest to recover, they were already on their way to the centre of the dancefloor by the time I pushed away from the bar, stumbling a little as I did before regaining my balance and dancing over to them, a cheeky, somewhat tipsy, smile on my face. Another thing I loved about uni is that I had come across a group of people who were exactly the same as I was on a night out. None of us gave a shit, and our terrible team dancing was what made our nights so much fun. I’d say around half an hour of intense boogying passed before Zayn signalled that he wanted a cigarette, and he knew that it was likely I would join him after a drink, so I did. We wandered to the heated outside area, which was one of the good things about our favourite club, Thimble, though after many discussions we still couldn’t figure out why that was the name they had chosen for a club. Zayn handed me a roll-up, and placed one in his mouth, getting out a lighter and sparking mine for me before he sparked his own. Within seconds, out of nowhere, two arms grabbed Zayn from behind, right around his waist as the mystery man lifted him in the air, making a girly scream irrupt from him lips, which brought in a couple of eyes and a couple of laughs. As soon he was dropped, he turned around to find the culprit. “Fucking hell, Louis!” He gasped, slapping his palms against the boys cheeks. “I nearly shat me’self, you idiot!” “Alright, Lad!” The other one said as they started hugging. I think I had heard Zayn speak of this Louis before. He was on his art course with him, but what Zayn had apparently forgotten to tell me was that he was absolutely gorgeous. I stared at him as the two of them interacted, and I was a little entranced. He was all slicked back hair and black clothes, turtle neck, freshly shaved, striking eyes. He was beautiful. After a while Zayn turned back around to me, grinning like he didn’t see Louis every bloody day at his lectures. He was acting like he hadn’t seen him in years. Classic effect of alcohol. I gave Zayn a look, a look that said, if you don’t introduce me to this God of a man now I will kill you. “Oh shit.” He mumbled. “Umm, Pip this is Louis. Louis, this is Pippa.” He moved in and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I already knew he was charming too, which was frustrating. I couldn’t cope when boys were attractive but charming too, it was always too much to take in. “Nice to meet you.” He said as he pulled away, looking me up and down. “You live with Zayn, yeah?” “Right across from him.” I nervously replied. “Are you the one who cries a lot?” He smirked. I sucked in air through my teeth, cringing that of all the things Zayn could have said, that was what he had decided to pass on. “Umm...” I let out a breathy laugh. “I get emotional about things.” “Every time I watch E.T. I cry like a baby, don’t worry about it.” “To be fair,” Zayn chirped. “I cry at Finding Nemo.” ”No, fair shout man!” Louis looked deadly serious. “At the beginning-” “When his wife dies!” Zayn gawped. “And Nemo is the only baby left!” “It’s absolutely heart breaking.” “Heart breaking.” Louis repeated. It struck me quite quickly how similar Louis and Zayn were, and I knew why my flatmate had raved about his friendship with the blue-eyed boy. I shook my head at them, taking a drag of the cigarette Zayn had rolled me, my head spinning slightly, half of me ready for bed and the other half ready to carry on my terrible dancing. Behind myself and Zayn we heard someone shout Louis’ name. ”Gotta run.” He smirked again. “Nice to meet you, Pippa.” “You too!” I cooed, blushing as though he had complimented me. ”Zayn.” The two slapped their hands together before clasping their hands tights together. “See you tomorrow, bro.” “Later, man.” Louis bounced off to the lad who had shouted his name, yelling and cheerful and 100% attractive in every way ever possible. Jesus wept, I was actually impressed by him, I just wanted to eat him up on the spot and leave nothing for anyone else. As soon as I knew he was out of earshot, I slapped Zayn hard on the arm, hitting that stupid tiger tattoo, his arms completely on show thanks to the fact he cut the sleeves off his t-shirt. “Ouch!” He laughed. “What was that for?” “Why the fuck does your stupidly attractive mate only know me for the fact I cry?” “I don’t know! I’ve told him other stuff.” “Right. Like what?” “Like... how you throw up on hangovers sometimes.” “Brilliant, Zayn. Thank you.” I couldn’t stop smiling even though I was shaking my head. His apology to me was him wrapping one arm around me and pulling me to him, giving me a kiss on the forehead, still chuckling away to himself. He moved out, extending his little finger, waiting for my finger to link up with his. “Alright.” He laughed. “I pinky-promise, I will say better things about you in the future. I’ll make him think you’re a goddess.” “How exactly?” I giggled. “Umm... I’ll tell him about how Finn said you’re really good at giving head.” “Y’know what, don’t say shit, Zayn. Let’s just let him forget I exist.” That probably made him laugh ever harder, grabbing me by the shoulders as I turned around, both of us throwing our cigarettes on the floor and making our way back inside, ready to find the rest of the troops. Zayn steered me off towards the bar before we joined the team again, where he purchased me two more drinks, that completely tipped me over the edge. + + + I awoke on the floor in my room, still in my dress from the night before, one side of my face dinted from the bumpy carpet beneath my skin. My eyes opened slowly, and I recognized the spot immediately, this not being the first time I had awoke on the floor, literally inches away from my bed. I had no idea why I did that, I swear to god it must have been a decision I made when I was drunk, though in the morning I could never recall why I would ever think it was a good idea. I groaned and cursed to myself as I moved. I first readjusted my arm, and in the process knocked over and entire can that I had open next to me, beer soaking into my already ruined carpet. I hurriedly stood the can back up, though a good 90% of it had already spilled so there was literally no point. My head was pounding, every joint in my body ached like fuck as I sat myself up, rubbing my eyes, not really caring about the fact I must have been rubbing my mascara all over my face. All I knew was that I needed water, or a cup of tea, or something that would help mend my broken body. “Holy. Shit.” I grumbled to myself. I stumbled to my feet, nearly falling forward and whacking my head against the desk that sat ahead of the window, which looked out to what seemed to be an endless line of student accommodation. The only thing that got me through that hangover was the thought that there had to be a student in one of those buildings who was feeling even worse than I was. There just had to be. Luckily, this was one of those hangovers where I didn’t feel like throwing up, I just needed drink and food and possibly a cuddle, even though my usual person to cuddle was Grace, and that option was out of the window. I found my phone on the desk, checking what time it was and seeing it was almost 12pm, only an hour until my lecture finished. “Fuck!” I don’t know how I thought that I was going to manage getting there at 9am after drinking so heavily. Basically, I knew I wasn’t going to go, but I still kicked myself for it, I still got so annoyed with myself for not making it. I pulled my dress down to cover my dignity, all that was left of it, before turning on the spot and heading towards the door, eager to get some fluid in my system that wasn’t alcoholic, scraping my hair to the side slightly and catching a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror on my door. Surprisingly, my makeup was relatively intact, but there was no denying I was an absolute state. I tugged on the handle to my door and opened it slightly, poking my head around the corner and looking to the left down the corridor. Judging by how quiet it was, everyone was still sleeping, or in a lecture. The kitchen was so quiet it suggested that anyway. I fell through my door and groaned to myself as I scurried down to the kitchen, screeching to myself as I made the short journey, feeling so painfully sorry for myself you would have never thought my pain was self-inflicted. As soon as I step foot in the kitchen, which was still stupidly quiet, my heart caught tight in my throat, stumbling backwards and shouting out my shock. “HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” The random boy that was stood in our kitchen whipped his head round to catch a glimpse of me, eyes going up and down my body as he chuckled under his breath, shaking his head as he looked back towards his drink, continually dipping a teabag into the mug of hot water in front of him. “Nice.” He huffed, grinning to himself. “Shit. Sorry. You’re very quiet.” “I am.” He turned to look at me. He was extremely striking. I think it was his sharp jawline, how tanned he seemed to be, which was near impossible given the UK’s climate, so that was noticeable right away. “Did Tally bring you back?” I asked, hesitantly moving towards my food cabinet. It wouldn’t be the first time Tally had brought home a ridiculously attractive boy, in fact, she did it often. She had a way about her, an aura, boys flew to her like flies on shit, and she lapped it up. This guy had to be her best effort though. His hair was short, messy and brown and curly. He was topless, just a pair of running shorts on. It revealed to me his perfectly toned body, which had one very noticeable tattoo. An enormous butterfly on his stomach. I caught glimpse of it and then decided not to stare, but I remember thinking that was odd. He didn’t have any other tattoos, just that one. “Who?” He baffled. That threw me, I couldn’t think of any other plausible reason he would be in our flat. I certainly hadn’t brought him back, I would remember him. And Ringo hadn’t even gone out. I then thought maybe he was Ringo’s secret boyfriend, and was silently congratulating her in my head. “Sorry, I thought you were one of Tally’s conquests.” “I live here.” He replied. My eyes went wide. That was the person who was going to replace Grace. That guy. Jesus wept, I had only just gotten used to bloody Zayn walking about the place, even Mike wasn’t all bad, and then that one? I swore that people had not been so insanely attractive at school, or college. I moved to uni and then suddenly there was just a gaggle of attractive men and I for one, was not good at coping with attractive people. I became a nervous wreck and found it hard to structure sentences. “Y-you live here?” I pointed to the floor. “Just moved in this morning.” “Oh.” I gawped. “You live here?” He leant against the kitchen top. “Umm, yeah. In the last room on the right. First room on the left. Umm…” “The room next to mine?” He smirked. “Yeah.” He probably knew the effect he had on girls, he was stupidly confident, not struggling in the same way I was. I suppose it was partly down to the hangover, I figured maybe I would be better later on, or the day after, or next week… I would learn to deal with it at some point. After a few moments of awkward silence, he breathed in through his teeth, making it even more awkward, and pushed away from the counter. “Better go unpack.” He coughed. “I imagine I’ll see you around.” “Probably.” “What’s your name?” “Pippa.” “Pippa?” “Pippa Payne.” “Pfft, seriously?” He scoffed. “You sound like a character from an Enid Blyton book.” I just lowered my eyebrows and looked at him in a complete state of shock as he walked away, laughing and shaking his head, removing himself from the kitchen and going back to his room. I stood there unable to think of something to say, how snotty he had been and how he just did not care that he made that comment about me. True, it wasn’t the worst thing he could have said, but it just amazed me that he burst that out to me during our first interaction. I hadn’t even had the chance to learn his name so I could make some snotty comment back. I got a pint glass out of my cupboard and filled it to the brim with water, before practically running and banging on Zayn’s door, loud and ignorant. “Bet a tenner that’s Pippa.” I heard him yell from inside. “How am I supposed to win this bet?” I yelled through the wood. “By not being Pippa.” “But I am Pippa.” “Well then you owe me a tenner.” I huffed, rolling my eyes and letting myself in. Zayn, like most people, had managed to get himself in bed even though he was stupidly drunk. His bed was to the right as I walked in, a mirrored version to mine since he was just across from me. I stared down to him with serious eyes after having slammed the door shut. He let out a confused laugh as he looked up to me. “What?” He gawped. “We have a new person.” I whispered. “What?” “A new person. A boy. And he’s just taken the piss out of my name.” He uneasily lifted himself so he was upright in his bed, taking in what I was telling him. I hurriedly moved and put my water on his desk, before sitting at the end of his bed, still looking at him with the most intense look on my face. He ran his hands over his eyes and through his hair. “Grace literally moved out less than twenty-four hours ago.” He groaned. “I know, and they’ve replaced her with a twat. A really attractive twat.” “What did he say?” “Something about a character, something... I dunno, but I didn’t like it!” “Give it a week and you’ll be his best mate.” Zayn huffed. But he was far from right. Because over the next few days, I was going to discover that my new flatmate and I were not going to be friends, not at all.

[scarletrebel]

of madness and truth: the dark future details

i was going to do this in two sections cause i do wanna go through the present parts of the fic as well. mainly exactly why avia is torturing herself by wanting to see the simulation, why she decides to tell grier, and why osiris helps her. also, why osiris saw the simulation and what my perception of his opinions on toland are. 

but im too excited to share all the dark future ideas i have so uhh here you go @mrpinstripesuit if you have anything to add please please go for it!!

man why do we like torturing our kids aha

(also i broke it down like, a lot a lot not to be patronising but because i didnt wanna overwhelm people with bullet points aha)

“I guess I’ll have to explain it to you, like usual,” Grier says. “Since we killed Oryx? Three years. Since you snuck into my throne world and tried to kill me? Two and a half years. Since you killed Toland and trapped yourself in the Hive Overworld? Two years.”

three years: back in ttk days, grier chose to become the taken king after they killed oryx, so the rest of the clan had to get out of dodge and leave him. 

two and a half years: avia was very, very lost after that happened, and sought grier out by herself (and against the advice of literally everyone) just to talk to him. but, toland being the piece of shit he is, intercepted her and wouldn’t let them meet. then he convinced grier that she’d come to kill him and toland stopped her. avia then convinces herself that if she figures out how to kill toland, grier will be okay.

two years: in the split second after avia killed toland, in a complete panic grier trapped her in the overworld. he was the one who scratched the runes into the wall, theyre basically a strong but hurried version of the hive traps. 

the scene itself, the timeline that present avia sees is set just after the events of d2, around the time the savathuns song strike would have been undertaken. it’s the first time they’ve spoken since avia killed toland, but avia knows grier was responsible for trapping her. him telling her that shes there because she killed toland is the first notion that he’s there to lie to her to get her on his side, because he’s in denial and needs to know if savathun is actually coming to the system. hes not sure he’s strong enough to take her on, so he needs avia to take on the role of toland (or something advantageous to him at least) to give him an advantage. so he lies through his teeth.

“Yes – no,” Avia retches. “The singing,” she spits. “All she does is sing and sing and I can’t take it anymore!”

“Who?” Grier asks, sharp. “Who sings, Avia?”

Avia’s mouth opens around a name, but then she stops, and lets out a dry laugh. She drops her hands and pulls her head up to look at Grier. “Oh. Oh, are you telling me you don’t know?”

“It’s nor Ir Yut,” Grier ruffles, but shakes himself and addresses her with all the manner of a teacher dealing with an uncooperative student. “She’s gone. It’s not his daughters either, and no ordinary Deathsinger on account of how far it stretches across the system. I have my suspicions but you, are the only one who knows.”

Avia pierces him with her eyes, unrelenting and patronising.

“You know,” she says. “You know who it is.”

grier is…….. fucked up. he had toland whispering in his ear that he was doing everything right and he was getting oh so powerful, whilst withholding information about whether either of the sisters would come and kill him bc its toland, all he cares about is the sword logic. if he was actually alive when they came he’d probably just watch grier die with a smile on his face. 

then avia kills toland, and grier is so, so alone. all he has are the tablets of ruin, which explain the sword logic with such clarity, all the info that toland withheld from him, and he starts to get Worried. and then he hears savathuns song.

avia hears savathuns song, too. she actually started to gain control of herself in the hive overworld after she heard it. until then she was having all this information shoved into her head against her will. she knows a lot about the hive similarly to toland, because shes heard all these other songs and all this knowledge. she doesnt want to know, its far too much for her to handle, but she doesnt really have a choice. 

but then savathuns song made her realise the best way to get griers attention, so she just started screaming. every now and then, the screams would affect griers throne world. and that’s when he decided to go to her, to try and manipulate her with all the tools toland had given him. he had a feeling she was transforming into something, but went into the conversation just trying to convince her that she needed to help him.

“If you’re right, if I’m a liar just like Toland was, then even if I told you how they all died on my doorstep, you wouldn’t even think I was telling the truth.” A tilt of his head, the white matted fringe dangles slightly, helplessly. “Would you?”

none of the clan are dead. the eos’s did try and get avia out after rook was patrolling the dreadnaught and heard her voice, screaming. he couldn’t convince the vanguard to deploy a mission cause there was just no proof that avia was alive after sneaking to the dreadnaught to kill toland.

carver used his Hidden talents to track her down, got as far as the room where she was but the hive were about to overrun them. carver knew that avia wouldn’t want them to die in a rescue attempt, so he gets himself and his wife and child out of there and regroups with the others. carina is mad about it, but her mum and dad aren’t giving up.

the only other member of the clan who’s seen grier is rook. after the eos’s got back, he figured fuck it and went to get avia, his heart too broken to have the same clarity that they did regarding if he died.

that part grier wasnt 100% lying about -- rook actually finds the room, and grier is waiting for him. it’s a close fight, grier gets the chance to kill rook in the end, take his ghost and crush it under his heel but. he cant. so he tells rook to run, and if he ever comes back he wont just kill him, but he’ll make avia do it. (more lies about avia not remembering who he is probably idk)

grier lying to avia about their clan mates dying isn’t something he went into the conversation knowing he’d do. he was getting pissed at her holding back info out of spite, and thanks to this little comic by pin I wanted to play with him bitterly making her more and more upset by lashing out in such a vile way. grier is a hard character to find faults for aha but his quick anger and bitterness were interesting to play with when I dialed them up to eleven.

avia’s biggest fear is getting the people she loves and cares about killed, and grier still retains enough of himself to know that. so he just kinda, finds that vein and twists and pulls at it until avia breaks down and believes that she’s all alone -- that it really is just them two now. 

“I, I wouldn’t – no!” Avia yells, and the room shakes once more. Grier takes stock of it this time, his face twisting in amused curiosity as she rages on.

avia is turning into a deathsinger. 

in my head her ahamkara claws loose their silver plates over time and eventually, some time after her and grier talk she hears the ahamkara/worm gods/whatever with a scary amount of clarity, amplified by the fact that shes trapped in the overworld. they just convince her that shes not a guardian anymore, that shes something better, something more powerful. she spent so long being a soldier, a fighter for a dying cause, wouldnt this be better? to forge her own path, to listen to the songs and become something greater?

eventually she’ll decide (or think that she decided) that grier’s the only person she can protect anymore, and begins to accept the transformation. she adopts the same powers, I guess, as oryxs daughters. being able to weave reality and bend it to her/griers will. she’s basically ‘griers deathsinger’. her grief and anger fuel how powerful she is.

(i love...... corruption tropes so yeah this is basically whats happening to her aha.)

its an ironic parallel also because as i said before, grier is alone with the tablets, and avia is alone with the ahamkara. but grier said it was just them. theyre both transforming and changing at the same time into things they dont necesarily want to be because they couldnt see the consequences of their actions after one decision was made. but, they do eventually come together, just them, as grier makes avia believe -- as its meant to be. 

Afterwards 

i like to think eventually the clan decides to take grier on together to try and save avia, but they just get taken one by one instead, basically becoming different members of griers court and only making him stronger. they’re all far, far too attached and know that theres most likely no coming back if they do this. but after the city falls, theres no better time. no vanguard to stop them, no mission protocol. they regather after ghaul attacks and all decide to strike out by themselves. but it goes horribly wrong. 

avia’s full deathsinger transformation makes all of her armour look like the silver plated ahamkaras (because thats just her, in d1 they were my fave exotic and they’re very much a part of her character in that era for me) minus a helmet, and the silver is definitely more rusted. her eyes blacken over entirely and her cloak is massive and swishy and the hood almost covers her eyes, and thats in place of the skirt a deathsinger would normally have (a skirt just doesnt seem right for her aha)

avia becomes a very loyal, very cutthroat deathsinger. she’s literally at griers beck and call. like omnigul for crota, or as it said in the fic ir yut. 

[weeavile]

uhj so this is kinda freaky n i didnt rly wanna tell anyone abt this but im kinda freaked out myself so . under the read more if any1 wants 2 read some spoopy shit 

 suzette (my mother) went out n bought these old dusty moldy ass chairs frm the op shop down the road n ever since we moved them into the living room some weird stufs being going on .

my cat who weve literally nvr had a problem w noise wise just starts yowling for minutes on end whenever he walks into the lounge n wont go NEAR the chairs like hes absolutely terrified of evn walking past them . i told my dad n he just chalked it up 2 the fact mayb the owners before us had some cats or something ? but stiles has nvr acted uparound other cats before so ? wth the fuk ?

anyway thats kin da freaky amiright but we were all just like eh must be some old cranky lady haunting the chairs or seomthing so we made a joke out of it i guess n named them. ones beatrice n the others janice . fuk janice. 

the other night i stayed up til like 3am n i wazs so fukin tired i dont evn remember crashing but i was rly out cold dude anyway . sometime during the night i literally jolt awake like legs kickking up n everything i was scared shitless . my heart was already beating violently in my chest n i was sweating piss n for whatever reason my eyes immeditelyt fly 2 the corner of my room . i kid u fukin not right there next 2 my closet was this shadowing white blurry figure  kinda like i was someone shortsighted without glasses on . it wasnt rly the figure of a person it was just like . a blob of white space . it freaked me out hwo i could see it so easily cuz my room is in the darkest corner of the house its Always pitch black u cant even see a hand in front of ur face man .

i couldnt take my eyes off it n truth be told i rly didnt want 2 either i was too scared if i evn blinked it would move closer . that didnt matter though cuz it felt like it was getting closer anyway jahajjsjd i hadnt even blinked n i got the feelign it was moving towards me without it evn moving ? god it was a fuked up feeling . in a moment of shear impulsiveness i scrambled for my phone beside me w shaking hands literally PUNCHED my fukin password in just 2 turn on the flashlight . whn i shone it in the corner ther was Nothing . not even an item or furniture i couldve mistaken for the figure . my body was still coiled w tension like i had not stopped sweating it was some instinctual fear shit ughf 

anyway long story short i pulled the covers over my head turned my back away frm the wall n passed the fuk out a lil while later . i dont know what the hell that thing was n this is the first time anything like this has evr happened 2 me jhjhg janice probably wants me dead