#couldn;t be me

[supportingfire]

the few ppl i've talked to that have the same ~ickies~ i have with deep/open ocean make me feel better about absolutely loathing the new weekly boss. the concept is cool, i genuinely love the idea, but actually being in that domain with the vastness of the whale and the mouth thing and just the overall feel gives me SUCH BAD heebie-jeebies i don't like doing it alone.

that being said any of my other thalassophobia babes, doing it with friends helps. but also don't like, force it if you can't cause that shit is so off-putting and i'm a full ass adult lmfao

[berryblu-arts]

obsessed w them <3<3<3

[sirenetica]

The beautiful, the poise, the great

Tejeka <3

Behind the scenes with the heiress! (aka the cooldown doodle that came after lol!)

[madootles]

[vcrnons]

20201022 HOME;RUN JEONGHAN —— for my dearest, @ikigaisvt x

[castlescrumblingdvwn]

THIS SCENE. THIS SCENEEEE

the way hana caressed his face so gently T.T

this. this right here is the reason i love TUC so much. the found family feels were so strong in this episode and somun needed to hear those words so much.

and i love how it was hana who went into his memories to wake him up, she is the one who was with him when he had to relieve his parents' death again in s1 and watched him break down back then, and once again she watches somun at his lowest- and helps him out of it. there's something in their relationship that's quiet but so present in the way they support each other through thick and thin.. and i dig it. they're perfect for each other- and not necessarily in a romantic sense; i appreciate that about their bond.

also love how a couple of episodes back, somun introduced themselves as hana's family to dohwi, and hana echoes the sentiment here when she reminds him that they are his family, and he shouldn't suffer alone, and that they can protect him too.... oof. good heartrending stuff.

and then their smiles when somun wakes up??? i love this family so much

[bothsides11]

A scene from Roses and Gumdrops ch. 6

(It´s a time travel fix-it)

[misconceivedcapricorn]

Ueueuee CDplayer and Spacedolls I am holding them so gently they mean everything to me

[monster-noises]

OOF it's been a while since I've had a nightmare visceral enough to wake me up from a dead sleep into straight terror... But I guess I shouldn't have underestimated how much my brain would pick up from a podcast Teirlisting Horror Games. .....

(I go on to describe the dream in the tags so watch out if you don't want to hear descriptions of the horrors my brain can cook up.. cw Body Horror mostly)

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread    

The Surviving Sky

adult scifi/fantasy about a fracturing married couple who live with the last of humanity on a floating city powered by arcane science

Iravan is a privileged and powerful architect, who keeps them afloat with his plant magic

Ahilya has no magic - and is deeply interested in studying the magical megafauna which are the only thing that can survive the cataclysmic jungle on the ground

[cuppa-ale]

No matter where I go or what I make, I never really feel like I "belong" anywhere and that train of thought has been really depressing to me.

At the same time, it also seems that belonging to any social group means conforming and that thought scares me. When I think about what that means to me, I think of things like.... having to stay quiet about things that are important to me in order to keep the peace, or being afraid to express my love for something because everyone else there hates it & doesn't want to talk about it, or just flat out feeling miserable and stuck and out of place for one reason or another.

(Or magically be the type of person that people within the group want, who talks like them and acts like them and thinks all the same things... though idk if that's actually grounded in reality or some subconscious pulse I have to adapt and mimic. But i don't really know what it means to be "myself")

With all that in mind, I would like to convert my miserable feelings into understanding & patience towards others. I never want to make anyone feel those ways & I know how it feels.

But... becoming attached and seeking the approval of anyone is bad for me because I just wind up hurt or miserable or both in the end. But at the same time it's lonely. But at the same time I feel miserable either way. There is a teeny tiny part of my brain that remembers what it was like to feel that attachment.

I feel like a small stray animal that bites anyone who tries to take it home, because it remembers being hurt. But it also remembers being cherished, and there exists a tinier part of it that wishes it had an owner who wouldn't let it go so easily.

Who wishes that there were clear instructions to follow and to know exactly what was expected of it.

But nobody ever asked to be its owner. It just started following people around until it was no longer wanted. And now it bites, or runs off. Now it growls and fights and acts indifferent because if it doesn't, it will get hurt again. Maybe the bite is a test. But either way, it cannot stand the thought of being led. Now, it refuses to follow or trail behind. Now, it exists for no purpose other than existing and surviving.

I don't like feeling like all my relationships are conditional and that I could be dropped or abandoned any moment for being "too weird" or having a bad day. However silly or selfish it sounds, I wish so badly that I could be cherished for that exact weirdness and all the weirdness and horror and joy and ambiguity I want to bring forth with my work.

I want to expunge all these thoughts from my brain and throw them up into the void because i am so tired of worrying about myself and something so dull as my "place" in the world and going through the same thought loops over and over and over again and never being free. My head is so loud and full of noise and junk.

I am so blunt these days because anything else feels like lying and pretending. I'd rather be brutally honest and blunt in my work and my speech.

I have been living inside a brain cage. One day, I will finally be free.

One day, I will finally be free.

[meiko333]

Happy Valentine's Day!

Like and/or reblog if you save/use

[amyriadfthings]

[panda-of-the-trash]

TUMBLR DON´T GIVE ME HEARTATTACKS LIKE THAT

[sebfreak]

social anxiety is kicking in really hard... 

[stillresolved]

“Just because something is not perfect, does not make it any less worthy of love.” - Sarang @ Nell 😌😌🥺🥺

​​​@ptternminds / bridgerton prompts.

THAT HAD BEEN THE GOAL ONCE UPON A TIME, HADN'T IT? Daisy Jones' daughter was a genius, a prodigy in computers and therefore, she was destined for great things, but with greatness comes responsibility and in Nell's case, a path to follow. 

Sure, her mother had to work three jobs, take money out of savings, whatever it takes, to put her daughter through only the best of education, but Nell had to keep her eyes on the prize- first, a scholarship to a prestigious university and had she not dropped out, a job at a prestigious company.

No time for silly things like friends and love when that's on the line.

Clearly, things didn't work that way: Nell does not have a university degree, a respectable job, and is not even in London. No, Nell Jones is a university dropout, works two jobs, and lives in another country where she barely speaks the language.

( Maybe that is why she lied to her mother before leaving for Seoul. Her mother, who had already pinned so much hope in her, only for Nell to let it go all to waste. Probably could've used a better excuse than 'going out for milk'. )

So much for being a genius. Someone might say she's washed up. A failure. Icarus, who flew too close to the sun. "Serves you right- know your place, pleb."

But Jing doesn't care about that kind of stuff, does she? Doesn't judge people based on things like money or status, does she? It's odd, for the all the blitheness she tries to portray of herself, Jing is actually much more discerning than her usual demeanor suggests.

"Just because something is not perfect, does not make it any less worthy of love.”

Her words are piercing at times too- meant to hit where it will hurt the most like a well-placed arrow. It's almost like the usual airiness is the deception if anything. Or maybe it exists in tandem with Jing's perception.

( What kind of circumstance would make this contradiction a necessity?)

It's possible to be both truthful and lighthearted, isn't it?

"You really...you really think so?" She shouldn't be asking Jing this, asking for reassurance from a woman she barely knows anything about, a woman who barely knows anything about Nell either. But the cell phone is still nestled between Nell's fingers, the landline to her mother's apartment dialed in. It's been years since she last called that number. "I probably should let her know at least not to wait on the milk..."