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pooksgetspooked · 3 months

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Teacher’s Pet

Summary: Leon was never good with people. Not since Raccoon City, not after the DSO, and certainly not after he’s involuntarily signed up to be a temporary professor at a University. He simply didn’t have the same charm that others envied, so thank the heavens he didn’t have to be when you were there to charm him instead.

Pairing(s): Professor!Leon s. Kennedy x Student!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Content Warnings: MDNI! Age gap, Both of them are a bit of a creep, But they’re cute so it’s okay, Obsessive & Stalker undertones

“So, does anyone have an answer for this first question? Yeast deletion library can be used to validate tumor suppressor genes identified in tumors from humans. From such studies, we can infer that these genes function mainly as…? Anyone?” A lengthy silence followed, cut short by a sigh. “Mainly as cell cycle regulators.” The air of confidence ebbed away, leaving a soft murmur meant for his ears only as he slumped into his chair in behind the front desk.“Come on Leon, this is stupid. Awful. Am I even doing this right?”

A calloused hand carded through blonde locks, tousling them as the man took a deep breath while sifting through his slides once more. “Is there anyone who knows what cell cycle regulators do? No, that’s too textbook, they’ll understand better in a real life application question,” he grumbled once more to himself within the vacant classroom, “real life application… I better start bringing lab samples if I’m gonna start talking about real life application,” he snorted dryly. Odd, maybe that’s an inside joke between him and himself. You couldn’t help but giggle softly to yourself; actually to yourself, unlike Prof Kennedy. Poor sod. Sat outside the classroom with your ears pressed against the door, you were jotting down notes to yourself with some scribbles for entertainment purposes.

Your attention was rapt however, when you heard him murmur your name. Breath hitched, you froze while scrambling to pack your things and get away before he could open the door. “Yes, you. Do you have an answer to this question? It’s alright if you get the answer wrong, but i’d like you to try.” You let out a sigh of relief, shoulders sagging as you realized he was just practicing, but that didn’t stop the warm flush of your cheeks while your hand came up to cover your lips. Was he practicing with the thought of you in mind?

Professor Leon Kennedy, or Prof Kennedy as some of your classmates preferred to address him by, was the new professor teaching the principles of genetics module. You had heard whispers about him being younger than most of the geriatric professors, something something government involvement and a temporary break.

You were more concerned about this guy’s ability to teach, because you were damn sure if you had someone with the teaching capacity of a TA as your prof, you might personally see to that he clocks in his early retirement.

But turns out, he was a pretty alright professor. You’ve definitely had better, he wasn’t exemplary. No, Prof Redfield took the cake for that. Eye candy, and brutal at Chemistry. You didn’t hate O chem any less than when you first started, but he was convincing enough to keep you from skipping.

While Prof Redfield was masterful at his subject and teaching, Prof Kennedy was diligent but at the same time, kind of a grouch. It was kind of sweet to see how hard he was actually trying to make lectures more bearable, but you had every reason to believe that he himself could hardly stand being there when he never had anything beyond an impassive expression. You were pretty sure you’ve seen cadavers with more life in their face than he did 95 percent of the time. The other 5 percent was when class ends and he’s got the same urgency to match the pace he’s packing, because somehow he’s always the last guy in and first guy out of the lecture theatre.

“Alright class! Can anyone tell me about- no that’s not right, what am I saying?” Leon was near his wits end. Couldn’t recall why on earth he agreed to teach at some university as a break. Actually no, he did recall.

He recalled how Chris and Claire had both coaxed him into the idea during one of their nights out drinking, and he recalled not recalling signing anything, but apparently he was already signed up for it within the same week of his disgruntled verbal agreement. He wished the government would work just a fraction as fast as whatever organization body that was desperate enough to take him in as a professor. Oh, but I think you’d be a good match Leon, what with all your lab background, you’ve got the knowledge they’re looking to teach. Plus, it’s an easy paid holiday from work! Leon rolled his eyes as he recalled the muddled voice of Claire, or was it Chris? Doesn’t matter. They considered a whole lot of his technical abilities, and a lot less of his social skills neck to neck with a nut. Tipping his head back as he stared up at the fluorescent lights, he thought back to his first lecture. Fucking terrifying, mind you. Facing BOWs with the ability to detach his spine from his head wasn’t anywhere near the same kind of nerve-wrecking when he had to stand in front of a whole auditorium of students. The second lecture was better, but only but the smallest sliver.

Lesser students this time, but still too many eyes for comfort. The only saving grace was that this time, he practiced. Spent an embarrassing amount of time going through the lecture materials with himself before stepping up on stage.

Asides from that however, he had a little more brain capacity to actually observe the students during his second attempt. Most of which, jotting down notes on their ipads, using their phones; he couldn’t blame them, genetics can be pretty dry, and he would’ve chosen to teach something else as well if he was given the choice. However a little something stood out from the crowd. You were nearer to the front, rather dolled up. You were cute. And not only that, lo and behold, you were a nodder. Lecturers must love you, because Leon sure as hell did when he finally caught notice of you, and how you seemed to reciprocate his lectures with an encouraging nod and a smile whenever your gaze met. He found it a little easier to go up on stage after that. His gaze deviated more towards you, and at some point he just pretended like he was just teaching you. Drowned out the rest of the auditorium, and acted like it was just the two of you.

That’s how he first came to know of you. Not actually though; professors don’t actually interact with the students. He didn’t get paid enough for that, and he didn’t want to come off as a creep, so he left you alone for the most part.

Just did his own private digging to find out your name, and oh, would you look at that? You should really learn to safeguard your particulars better because it took him less than 5 to find your address, birthday, education history and wow, your grades were nothing to scoff at. Pretty, and smart? A girl after his heart, except that was a violation of so many school conducts that the idea was quickly carted off. He noticed starting from the fourth week that you were starting to find a voice in the class, and his attention all but zeroed in on you. The immense relief Leon felt when for the first time ever, a student actually tried to answer his question and not leave him to bask in awkward silence. It was only near the end of the lesson that he realized that his question was meant to be a rhetoric. It was an opening to the next chapter. You weren’t supposed to know what he was talking about, so how’d you know the answer? Do dean-listers just study ahead of class? “I just do some extra studying outside of class,” you had smiled sweetly up at him the one time he mustered the courage to approach you after the lecture ended, “you did a good job with this week’s lecture, by the way. The math was a little dry and confusing, but you made it a lot more bearable than it would’ve been.” The man was a real slump, but you could appreciate his effort, even if the exact opposite was reflected on his face every lesson.

“Thank you,” caught off guard by the compliment, Leon sheepishly scratched at his chin, cheeks tinged warm, “if you ever need help, i’m usually free outside of lectures.” Both you and Leon blinked at each other. Whoa. Did the grumpiest professor you’ve ever interacted with just offer their time outside of class? Willingly? You were going to buy a lottery ticket later for your course code.

“Oh, I appreciate the offer,” your lips parted and closed as you tried to think of how to carry the conversation. You almost turned him down out of reflex, and frankly you never thought you’d make it to this stage. Sure, you were creeping just a little bit with the one sided after school supplementary class, but were you really about to push it? “how’s this friday?” The answer was yes. Yes, you were. Who knows? It might even be fun. This friday? Leon was going back home this friday to sleep away the school air and hopefully into a coma. Maybe he could sneak some drinks in, in his couch alone at home. That’s what he was doing this Friday. “This friday? I can do friday. I’ll email you later, and we can work out a time?” Or maybe not. “Sure! Thanks Prof,” he remembered how you beamed so warmly up at him, almost blinding, before strutting off with your bag hauled over one shoulder. With only the linger scent of your perfume tickling his nose, he was left to stand there by his lonesome.

It took a grand total of one and a half occasions for him to cave. The first was Friday.

Friday came quick. Too quick, really. Maybe all that alcohol from a couple years back was finally coming back to fragment his memory, but it was like time was lost on him. Whatever time between that week’s lecture and Friday was lost on him while he was too busy imagining what the tutoring session would look like. Maybe he should smile a little more, come off more amicable and nice. Or should he just stick with the grumpy vibe? He knows that’s been hitting it off with some of the girls in school, he’s heard some of the passing comments. No, but you seem like a nice girl who would like a sweet guy. “Hey Prof, you okay?” Oh, why would you look at that? It seems his sense of time was failing him again.

“Hm? I’m okay, just a little tired is all,” he blinked back to life, rubbing his face as he gave you a nonchalant wave of his hand, “don’t worry about me.” You frowned softly, eyes scanning him with an intensity that made Leon feel the same tingly warmth from last lecture. Before he could convince you any further, you leaned in close, and that might’ve been the closest Leon has ever been to a woman who didn’t have the ability nor intention to kill him in 3 seconds flat in a very long time.

He swallowed nervously, adam’s apple bobbing, but he otherwise made no move to push you away. Blue eyes flitted from your eyes; soft and glittery, down to your lips; Plump, pillowy and shiny. He noticed you usually had a tube of lip gloss on your desk during lectures. He went to google it, said it was strawberry flavoured. Suddenly, he was having cravings for strawberries.

His lids fluttered, half lidded as he stared down at you, mind empty yet reeling all the same. What were you doing, little minx? “Your eyebags are pretty bad, a little too pale, your cheeks are kind of sunken as well. You should take care of your health a little more,” you suddenly said, before pulling away and returning back to your seat, back straightened as though nothing had happened. As though you didn’t lean in close enough for him to smell the strawberries off your lips. Didn’t threaten Leon’s self restraint to close the gap between the both of you. “ I can take care of myself. Thanks for the concern, but don’t worry about me kid,” he coughed, voice a low rumble as he glanced away. Right. He remembered reading about you being a medical student. He was getting ahead of himself. A doll like you with damaged goods like him? The notion was laughable, but Leon would never admit to the tinge of warmth that bloomed at the thought of it.

“Everyone could use a little help regardless of what stage of life you’re in,” you shrugged all to nonchalantly, like you were stating a fact. Which you were, before glancing towards him as you fished out this week’s study materials from your bag. “And you think you can help me?” “I’m sure I could be of some help, one way or another,” You flipped open your notebook, ipad on the side with your questions all prepared. What Leon wouldn’t give to have coworkers as efficient and enthused as you. Maybe he could put in a good word for you in his lab, pull you in for your internships. A relationship between co-workers would be alot less inappropriate than a relationship between professor and student. He knew he was still going to get shit from it from his office though, but that was a problem for later. Maybe then you could help him out. Out of his ditch of misery, out of his wandering mind, help him out of his pants. Whoa. Where did that come from?

He cleared his throat, swallowing his spit before picking up your notes. “We can talk about that another time. For now, what’re you having trouble with?” Half an hour in, and Leon was struggling. Fighting for his life, actually, because he’d been sporting a boner beneath the table 10 minutes in after your legs accidentally brushed against each other. He couldn’t tell if he was suffering from acute testosterone poisoning, and the horniness was deluding him into thinking that you were dropping him hints, or if you were genuinely showing some sort of interest in him. Your lashes fluttered when you stared up at him, lips coated in a sheen of gloss puffed into a soft pout everytime he explained something through tripped words and stutters. Everytime he found it in himself to knock the thoughts out of his head, you always found some innocuous way to enthrall him and his dick back into your whimsy, imaginary grasp. He wondered if your hands grab onto dicks as hard as you grabbed his attention. Just as Leon felt like he was finally going to see which would pop first; his dick or his blood pressure, the lesson was cut short. He wasn’t sure if he found the hour long session too short or too agonizingly long. Your eyes finally flickered away from him to your ringing cell, your lips rounded in surprise. “Sorry, this’ll be quick,” you gave him a sheepish little chuckle, manicured nails plucking the cell as you stood upright. To match, Leon’s cock sprung upright too. As you waltzed off, humming a small hello through the phone, all he could really see or hear was your bare thighs and waist, easily small enough for him to grab. And your ass? By god. He could see it from your physique. You were soft. Far softer than any of the ladies he had worked with for the last miserable 10 something years, all of which could easily deck and curbstomp him for having the thoughts he had towards you.

You had a habit of leaning on one leg, Leon had noticed by the third class. You’d rest on one leg, your hips jutting out in that direction while the plush of your thigh squeezed beneath the hem of your pants to give a small pudge. Denim shorts day was a particular treat for him. Shame that today wasn’t one of those days, but it was still shorts day, so it was half a win for him.

“Fine,” Leon blinked hard, gaze snapping right back up at the sound of your reluctant little sigh, “I’ll go, sure, but I’m not going for next week’s, I have some papers coming up. I’ll see about the week after,” you huffed into the phone, swapping the cell to the other hand so you could lean on your other leg. “Yeah?” He could hear your giggle, sweet and lithe. What other way more fitting words were there to describe you? “Alright, I’ll see you tonight. See you! Mhm, bye bye!” “Sorry about that, I thought I had my phone on silent, but I must’ve forgotten,” you slipped yourself back into your seat, your gaze rising from the screen of your phone back up to find leon’s, who was watching you ever so intently. “Some friends invited me to a party,” you supplemented, mistaking his stare for one of curiosity.

Well, he wasn’t that curious before, but he certainly was now. He had heard all sorts of things about university parties, but never got the chance to actually experience one for obvious reasons. He had just about accepted his life ended at the tender age of 21 back in Raccoon City, before it was handed over and detained by the DSO for the unforeseeable remainder of his hopefully clipped life.

So the idea of something as normal as a party charmed him, and through the shine of his eyes, you could tell. Your head tilted, an amusing little quirk of yours whenever your attention was hooked on something and the cogs in your head was turning.

“You go to parties a lot?” he cleared his throat awkwardly, his turn to be fidgety under your scrutiny. He knew you were thinking. He knew you were thinking something of him, specifically. But he didn’t know what you were thinking.

“I wouldn’t say a lot, I get invited a bunch but I don’t always go,” you word trailed off into a soft drone, mind pacing with considerations before you cracked a smile, “but would you like to come to this one?” “Uh, join you to a party?” the nervous chuckle slipped past his lips before he could even think to hold it back. You didn’t seem the slightest bit dejected from his apprehension however, instead choosing to press on. “You don’t have to of course, but if you’d like, you’re welcome to come to this one, it’s an open party, so other people will be there too!”

Oh god, what was happening. “I’ll uh, I’ll think about it?” He did. Sort of? He slept on it, more than anything. The rest of the session was a blur, you were a fast learner who pretty much solved the remainder of your own questions once you picked up on the first couple of questions. That, and he was pretty sure all the blood meant for his head was relocated to his dick, so forgive him if he was tripping over himself in a rush to get home and jerk himself off until his dick went raw.

By the next afternoon when he had stumbled out of bed with his crotch still sticky and bedside tissues stiff, imagine his surprise when we saw that you went ahead and did him the liberty of actually emailing him the party address; he had thought you were just saying it to be nice, honestly.

‘Hey Professor Kennedy! Here’s the address for the party, again no pressure if you don’t feel like coming, but there’ll be free drinks if you do!

Take care!’

He spent way more time than he cared to admit considering your offer. Somehow, you’ve reduced him from a grouch wagering bets as to whether tomorrow would be the day he bites the bullet, into still too old of a man feeling like a perverted youth with a libido to match.

He thought long and hard through the myriad of fantasies that played out while he went to shower. As his hands absentmindedly lathered his soapy, blonde locks, his gaze fixed on the water stained glass. He could picture the droplets sliding down your back and past the curves of your ass. The size of the shower would force you to press flush against his chest, his stiff mast resting on your lower back, balls against the perk of your butt.

Would you pant as he lays his weight on you, your breast pressed up against the glass and the shaft of his dick shower in the slippery dip of your pussy? Maybe you’d mewl as he toys with your nipples, rough pads pinching and twisting at the nipples while grubby hands knead and paw at the plush of your chest. He bet he could make your breath hitch and your eyes well with tears as he feeds just the tip of his dick to your gummy walls, never pushing himself all the way in. Just the tip, until you’re begging like he was your lifeline and that you’d be his good girl.

His jaw clenched, chest tight and knees buckled as milky fluids splattered against the glass, catching the drops of water that rolled down. Leon’s lips parted as he blinked himself back to the present, the fluorescent light making it difficult for his sight to return, his ears ringing while his chest heaved desperately for air.

For that second that your imaginary presence coaxed his undoing, he forgot how to breathe.For as much as he wants to be your lifeline, you were quickly becoming his.

#leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy smut #resident evil smut #yandere #leon s kennedy x reader #leon scott kennedy #leon kennedy #leon #resident evil x reader #resident evil

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captain-n-crunchies · 3 months

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You need a retwist...

OPLA Ussop x Salon owner Reader

From braids to straightening and even retwist and reties you've done all types of hair on Cocoyasi pays a good amount ever since fish face and they came onto the island. Arlong always comes to get his hair cleaned leaving only a path of violence and no tips after every visit; Nami one of my old closest friends ending up visiting my shop when Arlong and he asked me how much I make lying didn't save me wen Nami was around telling him I was practically flourishing. After she told him how much I was making he destroyed everything... thousands of berries and years of hard work destroyed all because of his and Nami's greed, he raised the village toll, and I didn't get much business for years til we got stable.

Today was collection day, the people of Coco gathered and gave Nami their payment for "protection" it was also the day Nami came to tell me Arlong would be coming for a touch up, the coward dead in front of me asking how many berries I have today threating me to not lie pr it'll happen again; after giving her a 1,000 berries and free products she gives me a solemn glance and leaves my salon like she never came.

Cleaning the floors and sinks of the salon with music from radio wafted through the cool air as I hummed a tune and swayed with the beat. Refilling water to plants and sanitizing combs a clean smell lingered in the air, loving the vibe I sit down onto the decorative couch and aid in the silence when I hear I ring of the front door. Getting up I walked to the front of my hose to see four men: a dopey boy with a straw hat, a tall man in a suit? It's 95 degrees??, a green hair swordsman, and a man with curious eyes looking over everything. The straw hat boy says the salon smells like lemon and cleaning products as he walks around touching and tapping any shiny piece of metal

" Don't touch nothin if you can't afford to replace, now what can I do for you?" I asked uninterested grabbing a apron and standing by the salon chair placing products out. The boy talks about Nami asking if I seen her based off what he's saying her sister must've led him to me. " She came in to collect Arlong's 'business fee' and left, if that's all you head on out, I'm still cleaning"

" Well did you know where she's going? We can't leave without her! Shes our navigator"

" You picked someone whose already apart of a pirate crew to join yours? Thats pretty stupid" then the swordsman told me they didn't know till now. " Thats sad but that's how she rolls, betrays her friends and does it again. It's a kink to her I guess" as I spoke, I looked to the man with the durag who now looking through a lookbook of men styles, " You're looking for new style?"

The man in the suit named Sanji who been somewhat quiet besides from complementing my looks ask what could be done to his " luscious blond locks his " I sit him down and his hair pretty clean jokingly calling him pretty boy I trimmed his hair and slicked it how it was before, the straw hat boy excitedly wants his turn and his moves to sit down and I take off his hat to see a whole god dammed mess, his unruly locks aren't kept right not even moisturized and it's filled with sand and dirt; " You should be ashamed of this... I mean how long have you went without a wash?" he thinks with picking his nose? And says a about a few months probably a year, within a long hour I washed and detangled his curly hair and it looks very pretty with a few fruity scents he looks more... boyish in a sense?

Turing to the swordsmen who is just looking around I asked did he want anything done he says he doesn't need it but if do I have something to drink, walking to the fridge in the back of the hose I get him a nice glass of sake and walks over to the man named Ussop, asking him to get in the chair and what he wants done he takes off the rag over his hair and it not as bad the straw hat boy but he's veryyy over due for a retwist. " When the last time you had your hair done? you locs are almost matted?"

" Oh! I don't know what that is, my mom did them and... well, nobody else knew how to manage them"

" It's called a retwist your locs need to maintained and just washing them isn't doing you much good."

" Oh... well can you do that? It'll look nice right?"

" Absolutely, and don't worry about the cost all I ask is you get Nami safe." Sanji questions me even when knowing Nami isn't the best person why I would want her safe I truly didn't know, being friends with her and Nojiko the fond memories of her just can't leave my mind no matter what. Grabbing some clips and a comb with some gel I section and part each loc of his, he winces at every tug and I roll my eyes when he asks is it supposed to hurt, " Well you matted locs hun, it going to a bit painful regardless" I say stilling twisting and clipping his locs as the rest of the men lounge around or read a magazine.

With in a few hours I was done and he was looking good as new, with him looking in the mirror I looked outside and it's dark and I see Arlong and his goon walking towards my salon, turning frantic I tell the Straw hats to give any money to Arlong but they seemed unfazed, well except for Ussop who slowly hid behind the swordsman. Arlong bust through the door and looks eyes with the straw hat and laughs a bone chilling laugh.

" Hello, are you here for-"

" Selling out my location to pirate huh? After the good business I gave you y/n?" I looked confused and tries to explain I dint know they were pirates just new customers but, it gets a vase and smashes it and the memories of his first visit sets in, his crew his walking around touches anything int he room as my pleas for him to get them to stop smashing things are cut off when the swordsmen points a katana at the head of fishmen and threats them. The room grows silent as each of the strange men ae in a fighting stance, Sanji tells me to get out the house and I run out the back door taking any valuables and money with me as I ran, running hearing sounds of clashing and noises of a fights echos in my ear.

It's been two days since I seen those pirates and it hasn't been good for the town, Nami reason for helping Arlong was revealed and a battle between the Straw hats and the fishmen began. It's been quite so far and Nami came back after telling me she trying to buy the village freedom, I welcomed her back with open arms and now at Nojikos home I sit with her talking about old memories when Nami and the pirates come back with new Arlong has been defeated, with praises and thanks you I congratulate their victory.

" Well Nami you've became a pirate, a better one than I thought you would be" I comment and she smiles and apologizes for our earlier past and I forgive her when the Luffy the captain to be asks a funny question

" Your hair place got destroyed in the fight, hope you arent too mad though"

' Eh, it'll better if I just do hair occasionally plus it wasn't too big of space so it'll be alright" I think of ways to make back the money for new supplies when Nami hands me a bag opening it the bad filled with thousands of berries shines ad I almost cry, with this I could open up a new business and get better products even hire people! Hugging Nami, Luffy continues

" You should join us! It'll be nice to have a new crew member!"

The swordsman questioned him saying he just can't ask anyone to join the crew because he finds them nice or cool.

" Plus, I don't fight Luffy, nor do I know how to chart maps that's a nerd thing"

" You can do your hair stuff! Ussop can make a empty room like your salon and you can do our hair!" "And I can charge a fee too... " I mumble to Nojiko and she giggles.

" So, what do you say? It's free housing too!"

"With the chance of getting blown to smithereens?"

" It's the fun part!

Looking at a smiling Luffy I agree, and he tells me they leave tomorrow.

" Y/n Let me ask you something"

"Hm?"

" You did Ussop hair? He looks different..."

" Yes! girl he needed a retwist like 30 days ago!" Laughing that I wonder what new styles I could do being the Straw hat hairstylist, maybe I could twist up a new love in my heart?

#black fem reader #x black reader #black reader #x reader #cherizzx #one piece x reader #opla x reader #opla usopp #ussop one piece #ussop x reader #black!reader

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peaxhxhair · 1 year

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Hello 👋 Can I pls request dating and jealousy headcanons for Choi Mujin and Do Gangjae with a gn reader? Thank you ❤️

A/n: Heyy! Thanks so much for the request <3 Hope you enjoy!! :)

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My name - MASTERLIST

~Choi Mujin

Has a photo of you in his wallet.

His name in your phone is something like “Mujin❤️”

Your name in his phone is your full name. (And probably where he met you). He forgets to change it.

His penthouse was really boring until you started sleeping over. Now it’s full of your stuff.

Pictures on the fridge. New mugs, blankets and pillows.

If you’re a collector, he’ll make room for your stuff - shelves, drawers, cabinets. Wherever you want to put your stuff.

He’s not usually one for PDA, but if someone’s flirting with you, suddenly he can’t get enough of it.

You have a hard time buying gifts for him, but he’ll be happy with whatever you give him. He’s just grateful for you.

He somehow always knows exactly what you want - even if you haven’t said anything.

Lets you tie his ties for him.

He can do it himself, he just likes being close to you.

Tries his best not to be jealous of people, but it happens often.

NOT good at telling you either. He’ll just stew silently, glaring.

His jealousy usually comes out when someone else puts their hands on you. Though it’s hard to tell whether he’s just protective or actually Jealous. It’s usually both.

Will resort to violence, even if you tell him not to.

Absolutely irrational when jealous.

A person touched your ass? Murder. Absolute Carnage.

You don’t have to reassure him that you love him, he knows. Though he does like hearing it.

If you’re younger than him, he gets jealous of the younger people you talk to.

Sometimes he thinks you’ll leave him for someone closer to your age.

You’ll reassure him with something silly like “well I’m into dilfs so…” or “I like old men, you’re fine” not older, old. It makes him laugh.

~Do Gangjae

Actually really insecure about your relationship.

He really thinks you’ll leave him with the first chance you get. Obviously that isn’t true though.

Gets jealous SO easily.

If you’re shopping together, he’ll get jealous of the staff that you speak to.

And If you’re into more than one gender, it’s 10x worse.

He’s definitely that partner that talks for you at a restaurant because he’s jealous of you talking to other people.

But if you scold him about it, he’ll stop.

Not good at apologizing for it, but he’ll try his best to show it.

You have to reassure him at least twice a day that you wouldn’t leave him for anyone else. That you could never love anyone else.

“that person was totally into you” “Baby, I promise that old lady was NOT into me”

Scary dog privileges, except he clings to you like a moth to a lamp.

Requires kisses 95% of the time.

Likes your fingers in his hair.

You take all of his shirts. It’s not like he wears them anyway.

Every time he comes home from work, you check him for wounds.

If he has any, you patch him up. He gushes at your kindness.

Obsessed with you.

If someone he kills has something you’d like, he’ll take it to give to you.

If you’re good at cooking, you’ll pack him lunch.

If you’re bad at cooking, he’ll eat your cooking regardless. He’s just happy because you made it.

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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 6 months

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I’d love to request a fake dating fic with Dico where the reader tries to make Bam jealous by fake dating Dico but falls for him in the process

Jealousy

Y/N hatches a plan to get back at Bam, and they know just the person to go along with it.

Brandon DiCamillo X Gn!Reader, Bam Margera X Gn!Reader

(Fluff)

2.1k Words

Warnings: Suggestive content, fake dating, jealousy, public displays of affection, finger sucking, injury, violence

The idea was childish, but you were past handling this maturely. Funnily enough, the whole situation began with you falling for Bam. For the first few months you hung out with him and his friends, it was like you got cartoon heart eyes every time he walked in the room, and with the way he acted around you, there was no way he didn’t notice. In fact, he found your little crush on him hilarious and had no qualms about using it to mess with you. One minute he’d be playing all sweet, sorta playfully joking and flirting with you, and the next you’d be the target of whatever awful prank he had in mind. You tolerated it for a month or two, assuming it was maybe his weird little way of showing love, but it really started to get on your nerves, especially with the way he kept skirting around confirming or denying if he was interested in you in the first place. That’s how you got the idea.

The only one of Bam’s friends you knew would go along with this was Dico, so it was him who you called that night. Lying on top of your comforter, you perked up when he answered his phone, “Hey, dude!” You started, rolling over onto your back, “I got this great plan to fuck with Bam.” Not only would he do anything for the sake of a joke, you were willing to bet he had some beef against the guy too. The line was quiet before Bran spoke up, “Say no more- I’m in.” You went on to tell him about what had been going on between you and Bam, and how you thought the one thing to make him come to his senses and give you an answer would be seeing you with another guy, whether that meant Bam would be throwing himself at your feet and confessing his love for you or telling you to fuck off. “Oh, that’s perfect! He’s such a jealous ass- there’s no way this can’t work.”

After you and him spent the whole night discussing gross couples stuff you could do in his line of sight, you decided to implement step one of your plan to piss Bam off that weekend. Since it was summer, you and the guys would usually spend the weekends at FDR skatepark, even if the only ones who really skated were Bam and Novak. Still, hanging out under Interstate 95 was a good way to stay cool after someone, not naming names, ‘accidently’ put a hole in the Margera’s above ground pool that duct tape couldn’t fix. You know how there’s always a guy grilling at FDR? Well today Dico was that guy, cooking the burgers Ryan brought on a little red camping grill, his look complete with one of those cheesy “Kiss the Cook” aprons.

Bam couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you snuggling close to, of all people, Dico. His arm held you close to his body and you giggled all cute to make it seem like you were laughing at something just out of Bam’s earshot. Did he fall into the Twilight Zone, or was he just so drunk that he was seeing things? Maybe it was some sort of heat exhaustion hallucination, because there was no way in hell this was actually happening. Given how easy he wa sto read,Bam’s gawking at the two of you was impossible to ignore, and once the two of you were satisfied with the reaction you were eliciting, you decided to kick it up a notch. You gave him the cue and Bran grabbed the bottle of ketchup off of the concrete with a snicker, popping open the cap and squirting some onto his fingers, holding it up to your lips like he was giving you a taste of what he was cooking. It was his idea for you to suck it off of his fingers, actually, sort of inspired by his Julia Childish bit he did for Don’t Feed Phill, and you really gave it your all, really licking and sucking at his digits until your lips popped off with a noise that echoed off the concrete that was second only to the sound of Bam’s jaw dropping.

The next thing you heard was this blunt packing noise and a, “Fuck!” Turning towards the commotion, you found Bam flat on his back, his board about twenty feet from him. Like a good best friend, Ryan was already jumping into the bowl to check on him. Peering over his sprawled out body, he held out a hand to help him up, “Shit dude…You alright?” Sitting up, Bam wobbled to his feet, rubbing the sore back of his head and brushing off the throbbing pain in his left arm, “Yeah. Just, uh- just ate shit. I’ll be fine.” The way he pretended to be so nonchalant was really quite satisfying to you and you couldn’t help but smirking a little. See, now would be the time for him to start hallucinating one of his bros getting fresh with you, after the head trauma, but no! Satisfied with your work, you and Dico sat back in half-broken lawn chairs Raab brought and ate your burgers, exchanging knowing glances between bites.

The next step of the plan was put into play in Bam’s basement while everyone was busy with his home arcade setup. You stood next to Dico, curiously peering at the match he was playing in Mortal Kombat with one arm around you, holding you close as you watched with big eyes as he executed a pretty impressive combo with Sub-Zero. All the other guys were too busy tapping away at their own games to notice anything was amiss- that is, except Bam, who was sitting on the couch with his left arm in a sling, glaring daggers at the two of you while Ryan, who sat on the other end of the couch, was filling him in about his ex girlfriend’s fancy new implants she paid for with lawsuit money, “I mean, I paid for those and I don’t even get to touch em’! Total bullshit.” Ignoring him, Bam gestured over to the bulgur display in front of him, keeping his voice quiet, “Hey, Ry. The fuck’s going on there? Those two’ve been hangin’ all over each other lately.” He didn’t seem to be as concerned with the very mild pda, and, unsatisfied with his lack of reaction Bam continued on his rant, “I’m just sayin- She’s all over for me for months, following me around like a puppy dog, and next thing I know, she’s dating Dico?” The way you giggled when his best friend leaned over and gave you a kiss on the cheek made his blood boil.

Ryan chuckled, bringing his beer to his lips, “Sounds like you’re a bit jealous. Should’ve fucked her while y’had the chance” Despite how obvious his jealousy was, Bam was very eager to deny it, “nah, nah- it’s not like that. You don’t get it.” Snickering, Ry playfully smacked him on the arm, “Yeah, I get it. You’re not sure if you want her or not but you certainly don’t want your buddy over there to have her.” Shooting a glance over to you and Bran all snuggled up in a scene straight out of a hallmark card, Bam rolled his eyes, “Oh, fuck you. Why’d I even talk to you about this anyhow…”

Bam decided to just come out and ask Dico about it, pulling him aside as everyone was getting ready to head out the door, “Hey, dude, what’s, uh- what’s goin’ on between you and Y/N?” Still pulling on his coat, he was obnoxiously nonchalant in reply, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.” He tugged the bottom of his jacket down, “I just think they’re really cool and nice and funny, you know?” You said nothing. Thank god he and you had planned for this exact scenario- you really made sure you thought of everything. Still, Bam eyed you and him with suspicion, trailing after the two of you, “Oh, alright- yeah. I mean, is that it?” Pausing in the doorway, Bran turned back with a smirk to deliver the finishing blow to his ego, “Yeah. What’ re you, like- jealous or somethin’?”

After all this, the final straw was that night you all went out to the bar together, and if Bam thought he felt like a third wheel before, he really did now. Every time Dico played with your hair or made you laugh at another one of his stupid jokes, he felt the urge to reach over the bar and stab two little cocktail stirrers into his eyes. It’d keep him from staring at you like that, that’s for sure- like you were his. But he kept to himself, quietly seething in his little brooding bubble. It was a scene straight out of the discovery channel, with the two lions fighting over a wildebeest- no, a gazelle, because they’re prettier. Bam wondered what on earth was someone as hot as you doing with Dico? The two glared at each other over your head and you swear you saw his eye twitch when Bran flashed that shit eating grin when he ordered you a drink. If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead right then and there.

Part of you found the thought of being fought over by two guys kind of romantic, especially given who was fighting over you. Sure, this was all a bid to get Bam’s attention, but over the course of your little experiment, you had actually been growing closer to Dico. There was something so endearing and cute about his antics that you just couldn’t ignore, and even when you weren't trying to make Bam jealous, it sorta felt natural to hang out with each other more, and maybe you struggled to keep your hands off of each other from time to time but that didn’t mean anything, right? Hell, it was Dico's arm that still sat wrapped around your waist when out of nowhere, Bam suddenly grabbed you in a flash of anger and passion and pulled you into a kiss- one of those really needy, territorial, Jack Danniel’s tinged ones- like a soldier back from war. Surprised as you were, Bran chuckled at the scene in front of him, “Woah! Easy there, cowboy…” When he finally pulled away, you were left in a daze, a pink blush spreading across your cheeks as you finally got what you wanted.

Or you got what you thought you wanted, as you realized a few weeks into you officially dating Bam. For a while, it was everything you dreamed of, all late night sports car rides and rock concert dates with your big celebrity boyfriend. But when your car broke down in the dead of winter and he was the first person you called, all you got back was a voicemail, “Hey. S’Bam. Leave it after the beep.” After the third one you gave up on trying to appeal towards him and just hung up. Shivering from the cold that was slowly creeping in, your stiff fingers finally punched in Dico’s number as a last ditch effort. One ring, two rings, click. “Hey, Y/N! What’s up?” You were never happier to hear his voice, and a relieved smile spread across your face as you sighed, “Oh my god…my, uh- my car broke down- like, half an hour ago. Are you busy right now?” Breathing puffs of smoke onto your hands to keep them warm, you could hear the sounds of him pulling his jacket on. “Nah, just hangin’ out at Bam’s. I’ll be there in five.” So Bam wasn't that busy. Blinking hard, you made a mental note that he was totally dead later before hanging up.

It was as if a wave of relief washed over when you saw Dico’s beater car pull around the corner. Since the day he picked that thing up from the junkyard, you teased him about how he was on tv and still getting seen in the kinda car a divorced dad would drive, but you were never happier to dive into that hunk of junk (through the window, because the passenger side door was stuck). Warming your frigid hands by the half working vent, you shuddered, “Oh, you are a lifesaver!” Smiling, he shifted the car into gear while you buckled your seatbelt. “Hey, any time! I’ll always be there for you, man.” A little glimmer hit your eye at his promise and you could swear your heart was going to flutter out of your chest, “Always?”

“Yeah.”

#jackass #brandon dicamillo #bam margera #ryan dunn #chris raab #brandon novak #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #jackass x reader #Brandon dicamillo X Reader #bam margera x reader

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chryza · 3 months

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I’ve had a day to process so

Final Thoughts on Dawntrail (with pictures)

Rating: man.jpeg/10 (/pos)

Those who follow me know post Endwalker was a massive fucking letdown. I still hold by that. They could have communicated what they needed to for Dawntrail in a way that wasn’t FF4 wank. But still, I tried to go into it with open eyes.

And holy shit I was blessed with the most beautiful FFXIV we’ve ever seen. Everything was dripping with light and color and the worldbuilding was spot on. It felt so Azem, exploring Tural, meeting and learning about people and their way of life. Carmine over @unionizedwizard drew the connection to the WoL guiding Wuk Lamat in the same way Venat chose to become a mentor for the people of the Etheirys. And yeah that came through so clearly. It was heartfelt and kind and clearly done with a lot of love.

They just were showing off tbh. Look at how fucking gorgeous this is.

Sometimes though…well, sometimes it couldn’t quite escape the shackles of the power of friendship. I found myself growing irritated at the lack of conflict—I liked that the stakes were personal to each character, and really enjoyed the start of the story. But over time, it became clear those stakes weren’t developing. There were no new conflicts arising to take the place of the ones we’d resolved. But it wasn’t until Mamook that I got really upset with the story.

It seems so obvious to me that the narrative was supposed to be that the Mamool Ja were sacrificing their children to bring forth a blessed sibling—the way the narrative frames this as disastrous to the people, the way that Bakool Ja Ja blames himself for it and is determined to uphold the legacy of those dead children, the way it’s all framed as so….dark. And then the story waffles around it, claiming that it was just high infant mortality rate, which removes the vast majority of the…well…blame. It becomes less a conscious decision to do something horrible and more a negative consequence that they can’t be held at fault for. The paste over is so sloppy it’s clear to me it was rewritten as to not be so dark.

And the story spiraled from there. The lack of conflict meant the cracks in the storytelling started to show. The characters were driven forward by the Gather the Chaos Emeralds rather than personal stakes and when you finally get to the skydeep cenote there’s…nothing waiting for you. No reward. Just a weird ass room with a weird ass gate.

Wuk Lamat tax.

You go back to Tuliyollal. Wuk Lamat and Koana become the Dawnservants. Everyone is happy. Everything is resolved. Zoraal Ja goes off to the golden city by himself but because the game has refused to tell us anything about it, this means nothing to us. I hate Smile, I think it’s called? That shitty Disney channel sounding song? I fucking hate that song. It’s so cheap to paste it over a montage of everyone happy and great that’s fun we’re at LEVEL 95. WHERE IS THE PLOT.

I was tired of feeling like I wasn't doing anything. I needed personal stakes that weren't entirely tied to helping Wuk Lamat. Sure, I love her, I think she's great, but the WoL's role up to that point had entirely been wander around and kill local wildlife while other people solve problems, which is massively problematic for an RPG!

We got so bored we invented a new guy. This is Foreel Ja, the sentry atop the second floor of the palace. He is a single father who is dedicated to his job as Landsguard and we love him.

And this is the story’s greatest failing—not letting the other shoe drop right away. Instead, we go hang out with Erenville who was just interesting enough to be excited about traveling with that I was willing to forego banging my head against my desk.

Unfortunately, the entire Shaaoloni section WHIFFED. The world building was sloppy, the story direction was lazy and predictable in the worst way, we weren’t given time to properly care about any of the people we were meeting (I still don’t know their names) and meanwhile there is no overarching plot happening! We’re just wandering around with Erenville doing ARR shit!

The funniest part to me was the train guys, where the story was trying to leverage our emotions from Twine in the first to care about these NPCs we haven’t been given a reason to love. Because Twine was objectively the weakest part of Shadowbringers, so calling back to it was not the play. I was so disappointed with Dawntrail I wanted to cry and it put me in a really foul mood.

And then the dome appears.

the exact moment I sat up in my chair for the first time in hours.

Oh my holy jesus fuck the whiplash of the tone shift. The Alexandrian invasion was so brutal in comparison to the cheeriness of everything else. Cutting down that old woman, going after a kid, no one was safe, no one was spared, it was a GLORIOUS disaster

When Zoraal Ja and Gulool Ja Ja were fighting i half expected the game to just beat Zoraal Ja like that and have that be the end of it but luckily they COMMITTED. There was BLOOD. Sena Bryer’s wail of pure agony in the scene where Gulool Ja Ja died brought me to tears. God that shit was good.

Immediately intrigued we leapt back into the story with reckless abandon because finally something was HAPPENING. Something dark and interesting and I didn’t even care about the tonal whiplash or the Shitty Disney Channel music playing over a half baked montage of characters we don’t care about easily resolving all of their issues through the ~power of friendship~. Let me into that FUCKING DOME BABEYYYYY

and instantly Heritage Found was the most interesting section of the story. Everything was put together so beautifully it made wonderful sense and Sphene. What a character. You know you’ve done a character right when you aren’t sure whether or not you can trust her but you want to so bad you’re willing to look past the warning signs. The fact that Queen Sphene rhymes took me out of it but whatever.

SOLUTION NINE. AAAAAHHHHHHHH I think we spent a full two hours just wandering around and looking at everything. As an avid Cyberpunk 2077 fan I was ENRAPTURED by everything. Definite highlight of the game for me.

I did not care about Zoraal Ja. Lame ass villain with weak ass motives and an unclear plot relevance, his saving grace as a villain was the introduction of Gulool Ja. After my initial reaction of “Ew Zoraal Ja Canonically Fucked” and the followup “Ew who did Zoraal Ja Canonically Fuck” my response was twofold. Firstly, to protect Gulool ja with my life. That is my child now. Secondly, I was fueled with the rage of a thousand suns towards Zoraal Ja for daring to abandon this perfect specimen of adorableness.

FUCK Zoraal ja and his daddy issues. I was rolling my eyes through that. Whatever. Gulool Ja is Love Gulool Ja Is Life.

(child support collection, 2024, colorized)

And then. Living Memory.

Oh my god they could have fucked it up so bad. It could have been cheesy and cutesy and overly done.

It was perfect.

The deeply dystopian nature of all of it contrasted perfectly with the beautiful golden sidewalks and the bittersweet happiness of the Endless. Knowing you were going to end it for them. Knowing that you have to let go. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed as that city went dark and keenly felt aware of grief I hadn’t felt in years.

Like G’raha said. Above all, I wish they had lived. It was so true and raw and honest in the way that FFXIV, when it excels, really excels at. The final boss fight with Sphene was tragic and I wish the fight was harder but by that point I was already sniffly so I don’t know if I could have dealt with an Endsinger lol.

The end…was too abrupt. We needed more. Just a little more to resolve things and put things back. Jumping straight to the credits was not the way to do it. But the emotion still came through.

That’s kind of my final takeaway. Dawntrail had some major stumbles. There were narrative choices I cannot possibly understand. But the heart of it is honest and genuine and it shines through in the sections that are weaker. It banked a little too hard on Endwalker in some sections, it lacked the necessary conviction to drive home some of its points, but the message was loud and clear. I loved it. It was an exhilarating ride and overall a fantastic addition to the game. Truly a job well done for an expac that had so much riding on it.

#ffxiv #i don’t expect anyone to actually read my rambles but #i need them for posterity (me)#Dawntrail #Dawntrail spoilers #no ID

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rohirric-hunter · 16 days

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Tagged by @a-lonely-dunedain to plug OC names into this heacanon generator and see if it fits.

Léonys:

Léonys doesn't own a single pair of matching socks.

Okay, so in actuality no, Léonys has lots of pairs of matching socks and is actually pretty neat about her clothes and stuff when she's at home. BUT I can see this becoming one of those annoying widely-accepted fanon headcanons in direct contradiction to canon because 95% of the time the reader is exposed to her in a, "Has been living in the woods for 3-8 business days, has not spoken to another human being in almost a week, ate bark that was still attached to the tree, laid flat on her back with her mouth open while it was raining to get a drink (for fun)," kind of state, or the many stages of breakdown I dragged her through in Léonys of Rohan. I think if my stuff had a bigger following a lot of people would have trouble reconciling that Léonys with the way she acts when she's, like, in a house.

Léonys does not know what sleep is.

She really does not LMAO. Take a nap, girl

Léonys is smart but also very stupid.

I mean this one's vague enough that it could apply to basically anyone I think. Which means it's a winner! Léonys figured out, on her own, within a few days of properly meeting him, that Aragorn was the heir of the old kings. She also got involved in all that because she saw brigands with hostages and was like, "Go and get help? Tell the town guard? Involve the other hunters? Nah! I'll just follow them! :) and take care of it myself :)."

Léonys crashed a riding lawn mower into their fence.

Absolutely not the ride-on lawnmower goes nowhere except where she told it to go. The ✨🌟🤗🐎💖bond ✨🌟🤗🐎💖 that exists between the Rohirrim and their horses ride-on lawnmowers

Hathellang:

Hathellang is a cry baby.

I mean I guess it depends on what about. This also sort of sounds like a headcanon made up by someone who doesn't actually like the character, so, you know. Subjective. I don't think so. But there's not a lot I would label crybaby anyway.

Hathellang has a roblox account.

Disclaimer: I've never played Roblox. But yeah, I feel like he has one. He used to play a lot more than he does now. But that was years ago. These days no one knows he has it except for Léonys. But sometimes when one of the other kids complains that someone was too mean to them on Roblox he logs on and, well, see,,, if the offender didn't have bannable offenses to work with already then suddenly,,,,, mysteriously,,,,,,,,, they start committing bannable offenses. For literally no reason whatsoever, they must have just felt like it, suddenly. Who knows! Anyway, reported.

(I.E. Hathellang would be a holy terror on the internet, somehow able to talk the trolls into getting themselves banned while only barely toeing the line himself. A power that could be used for good or evil. He uses it to back up his kid siblings on disagreements over the Walmartland makeup obby.)

Hathellang believes in Santa.

He does not! But he's really dedicated to keeping the Santa Experience alive for the younger kids. Also I feel like in a modern AU he'd be super into the Santa Clause movies.

Belharen:

Belharen is afraid of doing anything without their parent's permission.

Belharen is involved in the plot because she ran away from home. Without her parents' permission. That doesn't mean she's not afraid of doing things without her parents' permission. But she still does them.

Ferelin:

Ferelin is tumblr famous.

Oh my god yes. Spot on. IDK what I can add. His shitposts are legendary. Made a new friend. Have informed him that I do not know what a roof is. Think he has little enough knowledge of the Shire that this should fly with him. Eager to see how this plays out. Update: Friend in question visiting my house right now as we speak. Made comment about the roof. Think he remembers what I told him when we first met. Except funnier, probably, IDK. I wonder what his URL would be. He casually refers to his improbable and near-miraculous ability to heal basically anything by singing to it very stubbornly and people think it's some kind of extended bit. He lets them think so because they started to come up with theories about it and it's kind of funny.

Dahlia:

Dahlia knows fnaf lore.

Probably, lol. I feel like she wouldn't play the games, though. I've never played them, this is vibes-based. She just knows the lore. For some reason. Maybe she watches hour-long YouTube videos breaking it down to relax.

And because I've been thinking about her recently some Pegweneth:

Pegweneth instinctively cleans messes in their own house as well as other peoples.

Pegweneth judges people for having messes in their houses TBH. Privately. In her head. She does not clean them. Her house is not clean.

Pegweneth knocks people over by hugging them.

If she knows them very well and is confident they're okay with it.

Pegweneth is not good with social cues.

She knows what they are. She just thinks they're stupid she's above them she responded to them appropriately when she really didn't.

Hmmm, seems like a lot of people I would normally tag in these things have been tagged already. I know many people with OCs and I know that many of them dislike this sort of fandom/headcanon stuff. Open invitation to do it if you want to?

#the wind will set me racing #tag game

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headsincloud9 · 1 year

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Part 1 | Part 3

SMUT MINORS DNI

85. "I didn't know you were so sensitive."

86. "Don't be so rough, there can't be any marks."

87. "| really don't care. You stilook hot and I'm trying not to fuck you senseless right now.

88. "Are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop."

89. "No. I'm supposed to making YOU feel good."

90, "Stop teasing me so much."

91. "Bed. Now."

92. "You're in trouble now."

93. "I'm waiting."

94. "Maybe I should get you a collar so you don't forget who you belong to."

95. "You better watch your fucking mouth."

96. "Do you really think it's a good idea to talk like that to me?"

97. "Didl say you could stop?"

98, "First one to make a noise loses."

99. "| love the way you look with my fingers inside you."

100. "You keep acting like a brat I'll take you over my knee right here, I don't care how many people are watching."

101. "I guess I'll just get off all by myself."

102. "You deserve a reward for being so good today, what would you like it to be?"

103. "I can't wait to put bruises all over that pretty skin."

104, "Could you send me a hot photo of yourself, I need something to get off to.

105. "You look so good on your knees like that."

106. "These walls are pretty thick. Which means you and I can be as loud as we want."

107, "Did you touch yourself while I was gone."

108. "If you leave the house wearing that then the second you come home I'm bending you over the bed."

109, "Mine."

110. "We can't do that here."

111. "Oh kitten, don't make me tell you twice."

112. "Behave."

113, "What did you just say?"

114. "Do I want to know why you were screaming?"

115. "Come here."

116. "Watch me."

117. "I don't want to hear your excuses anymore."

118. "If you can't sleep...how about we have sex?"

119, "Put that thing away."

120. "Don't go whipping that thing out!*

121. "Don't kink shame mel"

122. "If you interrupt me one more time - so help me god."

123. "I'm going to put on my clothes before you say anything else."

124, "Tell me what you want.

125. "Could you make me feel as good as I do?"

126. "Y-you're not..w-wearing anything under that are you?"

127. "Are you trying to turn me on or are you really that oblivious?"

128. "There's no way anyone is that innocent!"

129. "You taste like fucking candy.'

130. "The only way you're getting off is on my thigh."

131. "Wait your turn, love."

132. "Oh my god did you just say that out loud?"

133. "You make a sound and it's game over.'

134. "Just let me finish this and I swear I'll go down on you till you cum at least three time.'

135. "If 1 have to stop what I'm doing, you won't be able to walk the next way.

136. "1 could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one willnotice.

137. "|haven't even touched you and you're already wet."

138. "Were you just masturbating?"

139. "What are you doing in my bed?"

140. "Want help with that?"

141. "Shut up!" "Why don't you come over here and make me!"

142. "You're so tucking hot when you're mad."

143. "The fucks wrong with you are you in heat?"

144, "We're not just friends and you know it."

145. "Come here, you can sit on my lap till'm done working.

146. "What? Does that feel good?

147. "You mean like this?"

148. "I'm not jealous! it's just...you're mine."

149. "Did it hit when you fell from heaven?" "No, but 1 scraped my knee crawling out of Hell."

150. "If we get caught I'm blaming you."

151. "We have to be quiet."

152. "Tellme that again."

153. "You have no idea how much I want you."

154, "If we weren't in public right now, I'd have my head between your legs

155. "Sayit."

156. "If you don't like my teasing then why are you moaning?"

157, "Wow -I didn't realize you were that... flexible."

158. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard you forget that guy's name."

159. "You better shut that pretty little mouth before 1 put it to work, doll"

160. "I think that's the first time I've heard you moan.

161. "I really want to kiss you right now."

162. "Wanna fuck?"

163. "Hey, you dtf?"

164. "You're not taking me to bed. Ever," "Who said it had to be on the bed?"

165. "She/He may seem all sweet and innocent but behind closed doors that boy/girl is dark

and dirty."

166, "Ah. He/she's playing hard-to-get. That's cute."

167. "For the love of fuck." "Yep. That's me. I like to fuck."

168. "Just eat me." ". .But you'll die.." "that is not what I meant-"

169. "How do I look?"

#avatar the way of water #avatar 2022 #jazzy prompts #2 paragraph smut #smut prompts #avatar 2009 #atwow smut #tonowari x reader smut #jake sully smut #tsu'tey x reader smut #quaritch x reader smut

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jiwonzone · 3 months

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⋆｡°·☁︎ HOW CLOSE IS JIWON WITH HIS MEMBERS? . . . ⸝⸝☽˚｡⋆

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖☁️ JIWON + HANBIN (HANWON) . . . 94%

"hyung, we're doing so well with this?" "jiwon-ah, don't distract me"

ever since hanbin's introduction on boys planet, jiwon has admired hanbin's talents and looks. throughout the show, he also admired how hanbin was always willing to help other contestants despite how they're all competing against each other to earn a spot in the top 10. jiwon is not used to opening up about his feelings, but thanks to hanbin and his reassurance, jiwon knows he can trust hanbin with anything that he needs help on, weather it's giving him advice or tips, or just comforting him on his though days.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖☁️ JIWON + JIWOONG (2JI) . . . 98%

"jiwoongie hyung, can you give me acting advice too?" "of course jiwon~"

jiwoong is actually one of jiwon's role models. he was always shy when he saw him around, but after being grouped up together multiple times, he's gotten over his shyness and nervousness. jiwoong was happy to know that jiwon idolized him, and as they grew closer, jiwon got to see more of jiwoong's funny side of his personality. he's one of the few people that can make jiwon open up and expose his more outgoing personality. if you ask jiwon who his favorite hyung is, he'd definitely answer jiwoong.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖☁️ JIWON + ZHANG HAO (JIHAO) . . . 97%

"all i did was talk once, and i'm already tired" "me on a daily basis"

the two most introverted members of jebewon. because of their similar personality, they get along very well and can relate to each other a lot. however, when they first met during boys planet, they were pretty awkward with each other at first, but when they were grouped up together during one of their missions, they managed to get along after a bit. even though they weren't close, jiwon knew he could come to hao when he needed help with something, and would always appreciate hao's honesty.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖☁️ JIWON + MATTHEW (WOOWON) . . . 95%

"matthew, your korean is good" "thank you jiji, your english is improving too~"

matthew's bright personality and smile is really contagious, because whenever matthew is with him, jiwon is always in a happy mood. matthew is the only one in the group to call him by a nickname 'jiji' because he claims that it sounds similar to jiwoong's name and doesn't want them to get confused when he calls them (which jiwon doesn't understand; his name and jiwoong's are completely different spelling and sounding and he can differentiate between their names when matthew calls either one of them, but he doesn’t seem to mind the nickname).

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖☁️ JIWON + TAERAE (TAEWON) . . . 100%

"shut up, you’re messing with my train of thoughts" "i thought you didn’t have a brain and now you say you have thoughts?

another part of the '02z, jiwon and taerae trained together, so they've known each other a lot longer than they know everyone else. they like to tease and bicker with each other, most fans call them an 'old married couple'. because they've known each other for a while, they often share the same thinking and relate to each other, and they could tell each other's mood by just looking at each other. jiwon knows that taerae has his back when he needs it and often goes to him with any problems he has.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖☁️ JIWON + RICKY (RICHZ) . . . 100%

"ricky-ssi, why are you so good looking?" "genetics" "oh please"

jiwon and ricky are both known for their killer visuals and the fact that they both have a very wealthy background prior to debuting. even though their personalities are total opposites, they clicked together pretty quickly, and ricky is another person who can bring about jiwon's loud side. they both like to go shopping together, and often times, fans see them going to luxury shops together while out. they also love to play around, tease, and bicker with each other, but they always laugh with each other in the end.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖☁️ JIWON + GYUVIN (JIGYU) . . . 98%

"why are you tall..." "why are you short" "you know what, nevermind"

jiwon and gyuvin are like a tom and jerry type of relationship. they love to tease each other and make fun of each other often. they team up with each other when it comes to teasing and babying yujin or also teasing ricky, so they're also considered to be partners in crime when it comes to teasing with the other members. jiwon finds gyuvin's persona funny and gyuvin often cheers him up when he's feeling anxious or not doing well, which jiwon appreciates.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖☁️ JIWON + GUNWOOK (GUNWON) . . . 97%

"he hugs me everyday" "i have to hug jiwon hyung, or else my day wont be good"

though opposites personality wise, jiwon seemed to easily click with gunwook. even though gunwook is younger than him, jiwon often feels protected by gunwook. he feels like he can rely on gunwook when he has troubles and often goes to him for comfort, as he says that gunwook's hugs are the best cures for a bad day.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖☁️ JIWON + YUJIN (JIJIN) . . . 94%

"yujin-ssi is such a baby~" "hyung, you act the same way as me"

like gyuvin, jiwon adores yujin and is often babying him. to him, yujin reminds him of his younger brother, so he like to tease yujin from time to time but also help him when he needs it. although yujin seems to be annoyed by it, yujin actually has fun with the attention he gets and likes to bicker and tease jiwon back, just like they were real brothers.

#ficnetfairy #d1 be the one ➵ jiwon #in the zone ➵ jiwon talks #our story ➵ connections #zb1 addition #kpop idol oc #kpop male oc #oc idol #kpop oc #idol oc #fictional kpop idol #kpop boy oc #idol au

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orphicpoieses · 4 months

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Life Lately

Hey there! It’s been a while since the last time I posted something.

Life was a little bit of a rollercoaster in the last few months but more on that later. If you wonder what happened to my inbox and tags: I simply forgot.

No, seriously, I have no view over the activities on here since last year summer, I guess. So I will just drop all the asks and start new.

If you already know me: welcome back to my small blog. If you don’t know who I am:

Hi. My name is Mimi. I am an aspiring writer for (dark) fantasy series and pen and paper games. Normally, I didn’t do much besides talking about my writing, but since I shifted in my day to day life to a more and more challenging and exciting schedule, I will probably turn this blog into a life diaries or something similar.

To give you a short overview over the recent events in my life, I will briefly go over them:

I had quite a pause on Project Rosary, but started again a few weeks ago. There is not much to say about this project, besides that I somehow got to meet some of my future beta readers? I now have a list for all of those people (a total list of 5 - perhaps more). I haven’t even finished draft one… I don’t know if this is a good thing or not xD

I started programming my Discord bot again! Kupla will have even more features in the future, which are currently only accessible for my close friends (Guild ID is set to our main server), but maybe, it will be available for more people in the future.

University is going quite well. I have gained a lot of new friends over the past year. I would even go over to saying I know so many people right now that I am literally overwhelmed by it to a certain point. Nevertheless, I never want to miss any one of them. Especially that one friend I am happy to call my boyfriend 💕

To be honest with you, I started writing several life updates posts but I never posted any of them. Even though so much happened in the last year and even though I could tell you so many things about all these events (organizing a huge party, being part of an official conference, publishing my first self-designed and co-written thing, new relationships, being in an official political position at university and so on and so forth), I am not sure what to write.

I don’t know if anything of this is interesting for you, since I linger in the writeblr part of tumblr.

Nothing - at least the 95% of the long list of things - is not writing related and I haven’t got the time to actually write on my own projects, even though I set myself an unofficial deadline to be done with draft 1.

Most of my time at the moment is consumed by university work and my mental health.

The truth is: my mental health is struggling at the moment to a point where my boyfriend and I agreed on changing our both schedules around, trying to become healthier in our sleep cycle, activities and overall mindset. He is way more mentally stable than I am, which is good for someone who is constantly overthinking stuff but also sometimes very frustrating.

My goal to change my daily routine is one of the most important things at the moment and by far the most present topic in my life.

I understand that this is not the content you hoped for when you saw my blog in the first place. I mean, I am originally a writing blog and people subscribe for a reason: to see exactly the content they hope to see. But at the moment, this blog is more a personal diary, instead of a blog about my projects, doing fun stuff like tag games and shoutouts.

Yes, I still love writing. Yes, I am still going to drop content about writing in the future. But this is not the only content anymore for me.

I would go on and say “drop me in the comments if you are interested in following this new journey” but obviously I will find out over interaction and follower counts.

Perhaps, I will get active again, when I have more to tell than “yay, I worked on my project for two hours but unfortunately I cannot tell you what I exactly did because I cannot risk getting rejected by an agent because I told too much”. Because my writing project is exactly that: a secret so I have a chance to get published in Germany.

Anyway, I hope I didn’t bore you to death with my little life update or scared you away that my content will be changing if I am active again.

I hope to see you soon in either the comments, reblogs or in my inbox and I wish you a very nice day.

Group hug! 💕

Let me tag you for visibility (tell me if you don’t want that in the future!)

@thetruearchmagos @enchanted-lightning-aes @yourfriendlywriter @365runesofthesystem @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @mirrorthoughts @kaatiba

#life update #orphic thoughts #orphicpoieses writing update #writeblr #writing #creative writing #writers on tumblr #writerblr

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genlossneg · 1 year

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thank you for this blog im boutta post a lot of my suffering in here enjoy the essay

I’m not a ranboo fan at all, i just heard about a cool horror project from a name i’m familiar with and i was excitedly waiting for perhaps a new kid on the block with cool content and the resources to do so. I’ve seen what people with three coins and a piece of lint can do out of passion, and so i expected that someone that has far more resources out of the gate would be able to really take it out of the park if they were equally as passionate. I’ll just grab a couple of points and elaborate.

Intentionally bad.

This is the poorest excuse for low quality content I’ve heard. Not a single self-respecting creative that actually cares about their project would make something ACTUALLY bad. Anytime you see something that’s intentionally bad and yet somehow beloved, look DEEPER. Because behind that veil of “bad” is actually often a HUGE amount of effort and care put into something a creator cared about.

Intentionally bad content is still made with the intention to be fun to watch, to be entertaining. There is very little entertainment found in any of the genloss bad content.

Lack of horror content

The main excuses i’ve seen is that they were scared of Twitch TOS, to which I say lolwhat. You had two whole years to contact twitch and talk it out with them and figure out what part of your project and show would fly and what wouldn’t, and instead you opted to really cut out any horror aspect at all for fear of being banned on twitch? And even then, content more gorey and disturbing than this is allowed on twitch. If Until Dawn flies on twitch, I think gen loss could have gone wilder.

And if they REALLY didn’t want to risk it, for the love of god at least be creative with your attempts to circumvent it? The goofy poor editing of the red in ep2 during the surgery sequence took me out of it entirely and confused me so much. You know what they could’ve done? TURNED THE LIGHTING A STARK RED. THAT’S IT. THE MOST BASIC THING, TO AT LEAST REALLY GET ACROSS THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG.

The acting

I was a theatre kid in highschool and let me tell you even the 13 year olds acted with more passion and devotion to the role than 95% of the cast in gen loss. Even during improv. You can tell that there is basically no script to gen loss and that its purely “X will happen then Y will happen and we need to fill it with conversation and improv” with zero direction on tone or anything. It was so painful seeing how little effort had gone into the acting. Ranboo can’t act for shit and should have gone through some acting classes before taking on a live show. The only ones that were visibly trying were charlie and jerma and the people who were frozen robots during ep3 (because as someone who had to stay frozen in pose hours on end for a play while on-stage, that shit is HARD)

Hetch’s acting was even more laughable, and his fakeout death was… something. An incredibly cartoonish “uguguhh” exiting his mouth- really? Also It was so frustrating to have his voice come from seemingly nowhere. There was no source to his voice.

It sucked so much seeing ranboo actually TRY to be better in his acting in episode 3 because when he suddenly started being intense it felt WRONG and out of character, because there was no natural leadup to him being like that. ep 1 and 2 were so bad that even when ep 3 was better it felt disappointing.

Lighting

Its already been mentioned by film student anon that the lighting is such a huge amateur mistake but I want to touch upon the creative aspect of the lighting a little more.

There was such an utter lack of using colored lighting to really set tones in scenes and it SUCKED. Like, already with the lack of outright horror blood and gore, they NEEDED creative lighting to at least intensify scenes! Add some damn flickering lights! Green lighting? Something- anything. Again, TEENAGERS have been more creative with lighting in a performance and all they had was four colors to work with and nothing fancy.

Camerawork

I wish they would have actually done good camera work. Set up some cameras in locations and acted in front of them instead of having someone follow ranboo around and having some “lore” explanation for it that makes little sense. Having moving cameras that are shaky and constantly cutting people frame-wise is just not pleasant to watch and does not add anything useful. On top of the camera quality jarringly changing between shots constantly it just… ruined the flow.

in ep3, we had an explanation for why there’s a camera following ranboo, and we got some REALLY COOL ESTABLISHING SHOTS THAT…. made no sense in lore. Why would the “drone” following ranboo take establishing shots? It’s supposed to follow ranboo- but then later it gets dismissed and we suddenly have sharp camera cuts to what im guessing was a prerecorded scene due to the camera quality change and it just felt. So sudden and jarring? Like okay you just dismissed the camera and now we suddenly get a different non-canon camera because they remembered we actually need to still see whats happening.

Lore/Story

The lore and story we have gotten so far is so scatterbrained and nonsensical. + knowing that this project isn’t actually what gen loss was supposed to be (which: Why are you advertising it as gen loss then, ranboo? You’re just staining the name of your passion project). So much of genloss is in the “I guess” category of why things happened. But the consistensy also felt so off. From what I understand, Charlie is the slime demon, and was the guy on the gurney, and was also in ep 3 as himself. And all those other versions WERE the ep3 charlie. How? Charlie died? twice? According to what has happened? But he’s alive anyway at the end until he gets killed again by a cheap backrooms monster? But supposedly everyone else did actually die?

I just. Genuinely do not understand what the story here was. What the point was of everything. I’m not gonna ask who the characters were because the characters were just the streamers and nothing special or new. If you know the streamer, thats the “character”. It’s just godawful writing.

Viewer interaction

Viewer interaction was pointless and didn’t matter. Either every choice the viewers made was gonna happen anyway, or ranboo decided to ignore it lol. It felt like there was no impact to viewers doing anything to influence the show and the show probably would have been largely better had viewer interaction not been a thing at all.

also idk maybe making ranboo’s “character” aware of the audience from the get go would have been more fun as they could’ve been trying to get the audience to do anything while we’re just watching quietly. And they could’ve gotten more and more desperate with the audience as things went on. But then again that requires actual acting skills that ranboo barely has.

Just as some final words, this really feels like a case of someone who has never done anything like this thinking they can do this because they’re famous and well-liked online. I know ranboo makes a lot of money, so they certainly had enough money to make something good. Take some film classes or acting classes. Instead they became overambitious and made just a generally unpleasant show that is not going to make me want to watch any future gen loss content in good faith.

The entire show depends on going “MY STREAMER!!! THATS MY STREAMER!!!” and would not survive on its own merit. The hype towards gen loss was misleading on what it’d be, and the fans made amazing fanart that does not live up to the reality of what they got and i feel genuinely sad for them. The fanbase made a better interpretation of what gen loss is WITHOUT EVEN NEEDING GEN LOSS TO BE OFFICIALLY RELEASED.

also a final thing about the merch but why is the merch so bad lol. Its such boring design. The gen loss logo appears barely anywhere in the show itself. The fans could’ve had some sort of cool merch, like masks based off of ranboo’s mask and the showfall robot masks. Shirts and merch based off of the slime demon and warehouse master.

Anyway sorry for the huge wall of text I have just been going insane abt this to my friend in dms enjoy

————————————————–

i could probably spend hours responding to all of this! thank you for the mini essay, you make a ton of great points. i really sympathize with the “not a ranboo fan” stance because my friends are way more fans of him than i am, and were way invested.

i personally haven’t heard any “it’s supposed to be bad!” defenses but i can totally believe there are people like that out there lol. i definitely in the “there’s no entertainment when it’s bad”. you’re entirely right about the lack of horror! i was so confused after the first stream and everyone was like “it’s not supposed to be horror yet! you don’t understand!” and then it took until the 3rd stream for anything significant to even happen, and even then it was weak.

charlie and jerma did so much for gen loss man, ranboo’s acting was just.. not that great and when it was, it felt so jarring. more interesting lighting would’ve been so fun! so much could’ve been done with that, and that’s especially clear when they switch cameras because they had the ability to film this incredibly and just.. didn’t. i feel like we didn’t get so much lore that we should have, especially with how long the streams were. i hope we get something clearer later on.

the idea of him being aware of chat the whole time would be cool, but idk if it would’ve worked with the “brainwashed” thing he was doing. overall i agree - gen loss was super hyped up and in this form, it didn’t live up to it as well as it could have. once again, ty for the mini-essay, it was a great read!

#submission #gen loss neg #gen loss crit

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isitoctober212015yet · 1 year

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MOB PSYCHO 100 WARRIOR CATS AU WHOOOOOO

I've been chugging along at these designs for ages and I am so proud of them and stoked to finally share them AA if you have any questions FEEL FREE to ask me I have been plotting and drawing this au so much (have many things still in the works to post!!)

AU Summary: A Long time ago a strange interloper claiming to be a Starclan warrior took over the clan (Dimple/Mosswish). He gave them a prophecy from the ancient times of a cat that would one day be destined to take his place as the True leader of the clan.

Years later, a stray (Reigen/Weaselflight) found two kittens (Mob & Ritsu/Sproutmask & Thistlestrike) abandoned in the trash and took them in. If anyone asked he would claim it was just so that he wouldn't have anyone's death on his conscience but nobody ever asked. He staked out a human neighborhood and left them on the doorstep and once he saw them get taken in went off on his way.

Almost a year after that Sprout and Thistle have no memories of the cat who saved them and they have both grown. Sprout is constantly wondering what lies beyond his yard.

He befriends a stay who just came back to town named Weasel that seems oddly familiar, who's been mentoring Sprout on the ways of the Clan. He uses Weasel's "true" stories as a springboard for all the things he wants to do someday and tells his brother all about (Thistle hides his concern about that) But there are clan cats who have been watching them convinced Sprout is the one chosen by Starclan to help them.

Eventually they come to him, offering him anything he wants if he will join them, permanently.

I have a lot more I'm keeping secret for now you'll have to find out >:3c

design and name notes under the cut!

First off: I started on these BEFORE the fursona plush actually ever got announced but about mid-way through plotting all this They Happened and I knew I could not use any aspect of them for these designs so if u want to know why they don't look like those. that's why. I ardently refused to use those designs. I love them!!! I have fanart in the works of them, but they're not part of this.

Mob - he was the first character I drew and the base off of which I drew everyone else because he's the default. He's the glass of water, the firestar, the plain chip, the True Neutral of design.

He was also the last one i colored and actually finished a design for LMAO. When it came to his name I knew I wanted -mask as his suffix because of the fact he is the most autistic character I have ever seen in my life (I am a professional autist, I know my own) and he is absolutely masking 95% of the time before the confession arc. I was stuck on what his suffix could be though, but my friend @cellulr suggested broccoli as a name and I remembered that OH YEAH he can make plants grow, which is how I got to Sprout, also it just sounds cute. He's a growing little sprout, it works.

Reigen - My design is very specifically based on the Least Weasel. I do not subscribe to fox headcanons under any circumstances. I don't care what reason people have for them he's not a fox. He's literally the quote "weaseling out of things is important to learn! It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel." incarnate.

His name was the easiest one for me. He's a weasel, he loves to get out of Situations, Weaselflight. It's a winner.

Serizawa - He's a calico :3c I made him a calico because it matched the color palette of his pajamas and I just love his pajamas look because the blue suit is............kind of boring sorry <3.

I was really stuck on what to name him but i found out on the wiki that the zawa kanji of his name means Marsh and I really fell in love with that. -whisper was based on him being kinda shy when he first joins the clans but just like in actual canon he gets braver but is still a big gentle giant type guy

Dimple - I don't believe in realistic cat genetics for warrior cats content, these are a bunch of strays in the woods who have organized religion and superpowers. The cats can be green if I make them green. So Dimple's design was translated pretty literally but I made him very short and rounder than everyone else. And I gave him the same nicked ear that the claw security guard people draw him with/as all the time has. Also he's short and people keep thinking he's an apprentice I think that was a funny part of Scourge nobody used.

If you want to get realistic or something you could say maybe Dimple being green was proof enough to the clans he's otherworldly and therefore totally a real starclan warrior. His suffix Moss is pretty obvious but -wish has an in and out of universe explanation. In-universe it's about his own wishes of being important (godly perhaps?). Out of universe it's a reference to my favorite old timey warrior cats fansite warriors wish.

Teru - okay I will admit this is the only design that's loosely based on some fursona art. I saw art of him as a Pomeranian with the rest of the gang and I was obsessed I could not let him be a cat. He is a full respected warrior of the clan though do Not make any comments about him being a dog unless you wanna get killed. I love warriors aus or fanclans where non-cats are part of the clan too I think adding other animals adds a lot of fun elements to the world. In another clan of mine there's a pig. Reject canon. Add more animals to the clans.

As for his name I thought about naming giving him the Star prefix just to be annoying but theres certain lines I won't cross and that's one. So he's Suntuft. the -tuft is because he's a big fluffy dog lots of fur.

Toichirou - So like...in terms of structure Claw is basically just Bloodclan and guy who shows up out of nowhere with a huge army at the last second w/ plans to take over the world (forest)? that's so Scourge coded. Why does he have a clan name though? Secret For Later >:3c

In terms of design he's literally just a taller pointier Mob now in Red. Why he has the -claw suffix should be pretty obvious and I know in the anime his hair isnt quite red but i remembered it being pretty red when I was designing and Shou has red hair (im getting to him dw) so...red. I also thought it would be diabolical to give him the same name as the canon hero of the actual warriors books.

#mob psycho 100 #mob psycho fanart #warrior cats au #shigeo kageyama #reigen arataka #serizawa katsuya #mp100 ekubo #teruki hanazawa #toichirou suzuki #mp100 warriored cats #i have been doing nothing but these for months oh my GOD #i have a lot of WIPs but i wanted to get their design sheets down and i have DONE IT #i very rarely take on big projects like this and I certainly never make it this far. i usually draw one character and then give up #the power of absolute cataclysmic autism i guess but anyways im happy to post these and actually be able to talk about them more #my room channel in my friends server is full of so much bullshit i want to do with them and me problem-solving how to plot this in real tim #my friends r getting so tired of me LMAO #anyways none of you can see me but i am Vibrating at a frequency that shatters glass i love this au so much i am disastrous

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mariana-oconnor · 1 year

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Black Peter pt 1

Haven't heard of this one either. Let's hope that's down to the fact it's a later story and not because it isn't popular anymore because of *looks at title* reasons.

I have never known my friend to be in better form, both mental and physical, than in the year '95.

Watson does keep waxing poetic about the year 1895. Must have been an epic year.

Holmes, however, like all great artists, lived for his art's sake, and, save in the case of the Duke of Holdernesse, I have seldom known him claim any large reward for his inestimable services.

Do we know the Duke of Holdernesse? I don't remember his name. How rude was he to Holmes that Holmes took his money? I feel like that must be arsehole tax.

So unworldly was he—or so capricious—that he frequently refused his help to the powerful and wealthy where the problem made no appeal to his sympathies...

More evidence for the Sherlock Holmes hates the rich theory. It's not that he's unworldly or capricious, Watson, it's that usually they're the bad guys (please see King of Bohemia). Not to put modern biases on a historical fictional character or anything.

down to his arrest of Wilson, the notorious canary-trainer

What did he train the canaries to do?

Was it, like, an entire hoard of pickpocketing birds?

Did they murder people for him? What?

Google tells me it might have been a euphemism for brothel-keeper. Or a singing teacher. So... honestly that story could go any number of ways. I think I'll stick to actual canaries, though. Probably in Canary Wharf.

During the first week of July my friend had been absent so often and so long from our lodgings that I knew he had something on hand. The fact that several rough-looking men called during that time and inquired for Captain Basil...

Watson pining at home while Holmes is out with rough-looking men and having them call him Captain...

...made me understand that Holmes was working somewhere under one of the numerous disguises and names with which he concealed his own formidable identity.

Honestly, I feel like this is character development. Before Watson would have just been 'Holmes is away' and 'Who is Captain Basil?', two entirely separate lines of thought. Now he has connected the dots. Proud of you, buddy!

...he strode into the room, his hat upon his head and a huge barbed-headed spear tucked like an umbrella under his arm.

“If you could have looked into Allardyce's back shop you would have seen a dead pig swung from a hook in the ceiling, and a gentleman in his shirt-sleeves furiously stabbing at it with this weapon. I was that energetic person, and I have satisfied myself that by no exertion of my strength can I transfix the pig with a single blow."

Everyone needs a hobby.

I recognised him at once as Stanley Hopkins, a young police inspector for whose future Holmes had high hopes...

Oh hai, Hopkins!

"However, my friend Dr. Watson knows nothing of this matter, and I should be none the worse for hearing the sequence of events once more."

For the sake of Watson and us, the invisible audience, please to be info-dumping exposition policeman!

"In 1883 he commanded the steam sealer Sea Unicorn, of Dundee."

"He has been known to drive his wife and his daughter out of doors in the middle of the night, and flog them through the park until the whole village outside the gates was aroused by their screams."

Can't say I'm entirely sorry Captain Carey is dead. In fact, maybe just chalk this up as self-inflicted and leave it at that. Whoever did it probably had a good reason.

However, the nickname doesn't seem to really be racist, so that's better than it could have been. Swarthy, as far as I'm aware, refers to tanned/weather beaten skin usually, which makes sense for a longtime sailor.

"He had built himself a wooden outhouse—he always called it ‘the cabin’—a few hundred yards from his house, and it was here that he slept every night. It was a little, single-roomed hut, sixteen feet by ten."

The original man cave?

The description of him is not crying out the sort of man who would keep tobacco on hand just in case his friends wanted some. It's not crying out the sort of man who has friends, for a start.

“Exactly, Mr. Holmes. I appreciated that point, and I conjectured that it was dropped by the murderer in his hurried flight. It lay near the door.”

Hopkins really is the smartest of the police officers we've met. And I still haven't noticed Watson comparing him to an animal.

So we have a terrible man killed by a harpoon in his man cave and no one noticed for ages because no one wanted to talk to him. I'm kind of hoping that all the women were in on it and they just... harpooned him together.

#Letters from Watson #Sherlock Holmes #Black Peter #long post

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nobodysdaydreams · 1 year

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I STARTED WOLF359 SEASON 2 AND FOUND SOMEONE I HATE MORE THAN HILBERT! (Or: my reaction to episodes 14-20 of WOLF359).

Gonna keep my intro for this one short and just dive right into it.

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that. And for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs

Episode 14: The Kambaya Approach

Um… keyboard clicks and music?? WHO IS THIS? Goddard Futuristics? Who is David? Who is Saul? Rachel? WHY ARE YOU THREATENING TO THROW RACHEL OFF A BUILDING?

Ah a telephone! Could it be our crew?

Oh so THIS is Cutter. Who seems to be Hilbert’s boss. Don’t like him. Oh no did Hilbert find a way to contact him?

Oh now THERE is the telephone sound I heard at the end of last episode.

Renee? Oh so that’s her name. It’s a nice name. But I would prefer you called her “Commander Mincowski” Cutter. Give her respect, and stop acting so chipper. It’s easy to be that confident when you’re not the one in space.

And what kind of boss makes his employees work on Christmas or the day after?

Oh cool Hilbert’s name is Alexander? Wow, so cool, ✨I don’t care✨.

Cutter really seems to love the supervillain monologue. Yeah Doug, good call don’t tell them about the signal…

OH HE’S TRYING TO TEAR THEM APART. SHUT IT CUTTER. WHATEVER SECRETS MINCOWSKI AND HERA HAVE ARE NOTHING ON YOUR TOMFOOLERY.

Incredible. I did not think it was possible for me to hate someone as much as Hilbert so quickly, but he did it! Less than six minutes into season 2, and by golly Mr. Cutter did it! Round of applause for him ladies and gentlemen, truly despicable, I hope he gets his karma.

A complete waste of space. Horrible loser man.

Why do I not believe they’re actually on hold? Mincowski, please listen to him. But Doug get to the point: HILBERT WAS TRYING TO CONTACT CUTTER. HE LITERALLY SAID THAT.

Just pretend like Hilbert went insane.

YES! Taking my advice, smart play, smart play, act like you know nothing, tell them info they’d already know or could easily deduce anyway.

…Cutter. Stop calling her Renee! And stop being like this! What in the supervillain nonsense?

Oh money, of course it’s about money. And the backhanded compliments. OF COURSE DOUG IS THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB HE’S THE ONLY OTHER MAN ABOARD.

Cutter man, your laugh… I picture him in a high school uniform kicking his feet in the air on his bed as he giggles to himself like an evil little schoolboy. “Hee hee hee I’m killing people in space 🤩” … shut up Cutter.

Okay. So. I know I wanted Hilbert to die earlier. But um… I think I might want Cutter to die more. Yeah… I’d be careful with what you transmit to Cutter. VERY careful.

Oh he knows. Doug he knows. You’re screwed. You’re… you’re completely done for.

Aw, Renee has a cute laugh. She’s nice. At least she and Doug are getting along.

But… will it be easy to get Hera back online? It’d better be. They better save her.

“No I’m not.” GOOD FOR YOU RENEE! Get something out of Hilbert. And yeah, watch the programming. Make sure if you DO get her back online that Hilbert can’t influence her.

Cutter’s instructions are BS… or wait! Is that Hera? Please be Hera.

Oh it’s the voices! It sounds like the echo in an indoor swimming pool.

“I don’t know who you are. I know you have no reason to believe anything that I’m about to say, and I know there’s nothing I can do to prove to you that this isn’t some kind of trick. But please believe me for your own sake”.

Solid start.

CAPTAIN ISABEL LOVELACE! I KNEW IT! Wait is it Lovelace or loveless??? Guess I’ll find out.

Oh the Hephaestus… but… WAIT. Are they in a time vortex? Are they getting signals from the past? Because Lovelace’s mission is over, her lab is sealed off. 955 days ago, okay, so longer than their mission, and a bigger crew too, 5 people plus Lovelace. And yeah, we got the lying thing down. and… yeah the “never make it back to earth” was also quite clear and VERY unethical. They played Hilbert like a fiddle. For a smart man, he’s far too trusting. Cutter was probably planning to shoot him the second he landed.

Communications and science officer got sick? Uh… sick from what? The astrophysicist just VANISHED? Okay… that doesn’t happen. It’s space! Where exactly could he go?

One thing is clear. These aren’t missions. They’re trials. The crew are lab rats. Though I must say, this is a very poorly designed experiment. What on earth are they even testing?

Oh right, Dr. Selburg. Wait. No. The spiders!

…but why would they be experimenting with that? If my crew was dead, and I found out I was sent to die, and I was in that situation, my first thought would not be “bummer. Oh well. Guess it’s time to make some poison spiders grow 🥰”. I honestly don’t know WHAT I’d do in that situation, but I can promise you, it wouldn’t be that.

And who is “THEY”? Command? And what something else??? THE EMPTY MAN?

Are… are the crews connected across time and space? Are they each other’s empty man? No, that wouldn’t match the messages’ warnings. Would be cool though.

“You’re not the first. We were here. Get out before it’s too late for you too.”

Poor Lovelace. And we never do find out what happens. Also Hilbert talked about a lot of other missions, implying that there were more AND that he was on them and somehow made it out alive.

Was he the astrophysicist that vanished?

Also the empty man messages: “There’s no way out…but there is a way in.” In where? Where are they supposed to go if they can’t get out?

Yikes. I guess that’s it then.

Episode 15: What’s Up Doc?

I like the title. Let’s see how the dear old doctor is doing. Perhaps he’ll be more cooperative when he finds out that his boss ordered his demise. But I doubt it.

Ah. Doug’s logs. Might want to be careful with what you say. Day 583.

Red menace’s damage to our autopilot 😂 Good to see Doug has his sense of humor. I think he’s gonna need it.

51 systems with glitches? You need Hera.

He’s playing chess? Well, looks like Doug and I have procrastination in common.

I’d hate playing any game with Hilbert. Chess or otherwise.

Huh. They don’t even have a record of Isabel Lovelace in the air force. Unless… wait crazy theory time: if time warping is a part of this, maybe Isabel is from a FUTURE crew of the Hephaestus not the past. It’s a possibility.

Also side note, but anytime I share literally any of my theories from this show, I get tons of comments that say things like “grinning like the Cheshire Cat right now”. Which is funny, because I do that when I read comments on my fanfics, and that grin usually means one thing: you found the pieces. You have all the pieces. But you won’t put them together and you won’t realize what they mean until it’s too late. I hope that’s not the case here. And if you’re Sophie please disregard this. And to the other TMBS mutuals, if you’re still reading my stuff, please disregard this.

Mincowski knows about Lovelace! Oh she doesn’t remember hearing the name in the lab. Wait… can they not remember the lab?

Yeah, we might want to isolate Hilbert a bit more. Maybe a few more days.

Oh dear. “Don’t get distracted”. Doug, please tell me you brought some adderall on board.

YOU DID MURDER HERA HILBERT. HOW DARE YOU CALL HER A PROGRAM? AND YOU ATTEMPTED TO MURDER YOUR OTHER CREW MATES FOR A MAN WHO JUST ORDERED YOUR EXECUTION.

APPLIANCE?? He’s calling her an APPLIANCE? Hilbert. You better start coughing up some info.

Haha… her imitation of his accent 😂

Apple! 😋 I love apples. 🍎 Just the thing for my hypoglycemia. Nature’s instant sugar. You might want to consider the offer Hilbert. After going days without food, you should be craving something sugary right about now.

NOW HE’S CALLING DOUG A PET MONKEY? THAT IS IT. EAT THE APPLE IN FRONT OF HIM MINCOWSKI. HE DOESN’T DESERVE IT.

On that note, I just remembered I sliced myself up an apple earlier in the fridge. Bods’ snack time! 🥰

Don’t like how confident Hilbert is about the airlock. … oh Hilbert using it as leverage.

You can still be tortured Hilbert. Slowly and painfully tortured.

“You break me? You have no idea who I am what I have done what I have endured”.

Well, we know you’re a murderous loser and pawn Hilbert. Perhaps you shouldn’t overestimate yourself.

HOW DARE YOU CALL MINCOWSKI A COWARD? HE’S IMPLYING THE WHOLE REASON SHE’D JOIN THE ARMY IS TO KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO KILL BUT DOESN’T HAVE THE GUTS?

Uh Hilbert man wtf is up with your world view?

“No one who matters ends up in a place like this one”

Self-esteem issues doctor?

Also what was THAT? Doug? Empty man? Blessie?

No. Doug do not. Do not. He’s running experiments on you. He’s probably been waiting for this.

He’s annoying him to death. I love it 😂.

The good times? When you tried to kill each other?

Afraid of folks back home? Now that might actually be something. And yeah, they have been lying to you.

The truth about how you ended up here? Oh was I right? Did he do crimes?

Hilbert, I think that she’d respect Doug more than you. I certainly do.

Okay good, he didn’t murder anyone. Nice to know.

Hard drive? Oh right his secret experiments.

And he probably has more backups somewhere. But for the ones we have…

✨It’s Hammer Time ✨

He’s a geneticist? Why just question this now?

Radioactively charged microbes make more soap products… is soap products a code for something.

Renee. RENEE. You are on point, but… Doug is a friend.

Mission on the ship? Wolf359 unique energy signal different from other stars. Properties used for mutations… viruses?

Doug, Hilbert doesn’t strike me as the cancer curing type.

Man made retrovirus? Reverse cellular damage? That’s huge. Theoretically… it could reverse aging… and death.

Decima is “unmanageable”?? “Active environment??” HIS BLOOD STREAM?

That is VERY illegal. You used your colleague as incubator for your pet virus? And no. No apples for you doctor. You don’t deserve apples. Apples are for people who don't do unethical science on their friends!

Episode 16: Painfully Ever After

This one is not going to be as detailed because I'm also half doing work, but I have no self control and need to know more.

...My goodness I really AM like Eiffel. I think it's the ADHD. Let's blame that.

Also..."navigation off by a few clicks...probably not important".

Um...not critical maybe, but why is navigation off? Don't think you can just slip little details like that in there and not expect me to notice. Don't think you can use my own schemes against me.

Remember when Mincowski nearly shot Hilbert over ice cream? Those were the days...

Man this apple is delicious 😋🍎.

And yeah. No painfully ever after. We still have several seasons left. We need Hera!

I agree about the math Eiffel. I got a test coming up. I should be studying, but this is clearly more important.

Ugh. Don't give Hilbert food. Not a lot at least and not the good stuff. Just enough to keep him alive. Barely anything. I want him to be nothing but skin and bones.

Don't like the ominous music.

Everyone has their limits...oh good point! Hilbert needed a fail safe plan. DO NOT SHUT THE DOOR. DO NOT TALK TO HIM.

DON'T LET HIM FIX HERA HE'S GOING TO HURT HER CODE. EXACTLY! HE IS GOING TO TRY SOMETHING! AND I'D BE A LITTLE PARANOID TOO IF EVERYONE AROUND ME HAD SO MANY SECRETS!

"I'd do anything to help get her back online again, but I'm not letting him mess around in her mind again. She deserves better" / "Yes she does" 🥺

Hera! You need to come back! You need to know that your friends care about you!

...and...and I really hope Cutter isn't already doing anything to her to make her betray them. I really hope so.

Cranial reconstruction surgery? Wow, they really did model her after a human brain. Dangerous move.

And Hilbert. Dude. Lack of trust? You. Tried. To. Murder. Everyone. On. Board.

Why would they trust you?

"Tell me you're not still obsessing over your experimental exposure, as long as I maintain it's dormancy, you have nothing to worry about." Oh great. I can't tell you how many times I've read or heard in fiction that as long as X doesn't happen, then Y won't happen, and X is such a low probability it probably isn't even worth worrying about.

Sure, what could possibly go wrong? It's just a teeny tiny itty bitty baby killer virus 🦠🥺 all it wants to do is swim around in Doug's blood stream and not make any trouble I'm sure.

Improve the lives of millions? Uh, Hilbert. What exactly is your definition of improvement?

Yeah...how was command aware of alien life? What made them want to look for that?

"Survival depends on never ever keeping information from Mr. Cutter"

...

Oh dear.

And what does Mr. Cutter want with aliens? Probably to kill them, that seems to be a hobby of his. I guess he got bored of killing members of his own species and animals from his own planet so he decided to set his sights farther afield.

CHANGES IN PROGRAM? But...what about Hera? The Hera that's our friend? ...don't like that noise... REALLY don't like that noise.

HILBERT WHAT DID YOU DO?

HILBERT. YOU IDIOT. YOU BUFFOON. YOU USELESS DUM-DUM.

Wait.

HERA!!!!!!!!

She's alive 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

YIPPIE!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Hm. Looks likes Hera's back. A bit more sarcastic, but she's back. And yeah, get Hilbert away.

Hera saved them! I knew she could do it! 🥰

Glad alpha victor is deleted. But we should keep the gag on. He could have more code.

Good job captain. Use those direct orders!

Something to write with? Oh boy...what on earth has Hilbert been doing?

“I missed you.” Aw. “ I wanna hang out with you and talk”. Aw. See Hera. They do care. 🥺 Aw he's sleeping. 😴 Goodnight Doug. Hopefully there will be answers in the morning.

Episode 17: Bach to the Future

I like the title. Does this mean the music is coming back?

Yeah Hilbert. Have a good long think about what you've done.

Wait are they...bored? Bored because there is no crisis? But there's like a thousand mysteries on board on the ship.

"It's like someone moved everything off just a tiny bit...so small that you don't even notice anything's off until you try to find something, and then you can't find anything".

Why do I think that's not just a metaphor for Hera's brain?

Star charts? Why do I think those might not be harmless?

Rock climbing and trail hiking are good hobbies. And... yeah a bit odd she has a husband she hasn't seen in over a year and hasn't told any of them about.

HERA 😂. "I though that was a typo".

Mr. Kodeleka? (I think that's the spelling). Foreign correspondent for the globe?

Oh dear. Oh Mincowski. This is so sad. She needs to get home now. 💔

More music! 🎶📻

Aw, Hera. 🥰 I love watching them become better friends.

Why DID they send you up here? Something to keep him occupied? Keep him from being bored? What IS his job? Dying, but what else?

...not all superintelligences are created equal. And who made you randomized? Wait you did psych evals and behavioral tests? That's a lot emotionally for the first six months of your existence. Even if you have adult superintelligence auto-established, you still don't have experience using it. Or practice controlling your emotions. In a lot of ways, you’re still just a kid. A baby even.

Hera...Hera what happened to you? No, Hera you and Doug matter so much. Wait was Hera crying?

Oh yeah the music? Bach...and yeah Doug she has recording capabilities. She could play that back easily. You lost.

Only one star? Glessee 163? 46 light years away from current position? Red dwarf, similar to Wolf359? Interesting...

Did they send a different crew to 163?

555? Oh finally one she doesn't know! "Good communication habits. Be in touch with other crewmembers."

Bet over. Wow. Doug has really been holding that in.

Haha...oh dear. 59 mins 29 sec. Poor Doug. Close but no cigar. Ha, exactly.

Oh dear. Doug has broken. Hilbert ugh why is he still on the line?

Episode 18: Happy To Be Of Assistance

"Why was it that easy to kill everyone! I never thought it would be that easy!"

...uh Hera? Why were you thinking about it at all? Did Cutter do something to you? Are you trying to kill them and like...dragging your...hypothetical feet about it?

Oh good the hidden lab.

...hopefully the spiders are dead...

And hopefully this is where they FINALLY remember who Lovelace is.

Alien Mothership? Advanced scout? Back of head and under tentacles? Is this a joke? Oh it is. I like her.

Lambert? Who is this?

Day 97, early in the mission then. So who is the crew? Dr. Selburg. Dr. Who and Who? Officer Fischer? Okay so Lambert is communications? Reya? Oh so that's their AI. But it looks like she just beeps.

Ha their reactions to Lovelace😂

Yeah they have a lot of crew. Gen0 AI? Hm.

Day 383. Wait WHOSE PROJECTIONS WERE OFF? (Hilbert?)

Day 435. Selburg again. Oh Fischer is dead. Oh dear. Weird that Hilbert isn't mentioned when he had other missions. I wonder what name he was using.

Yeah...Day 944...so they left them? Weird that the timelines don't match up.

Oh wow...when they are in the room Hera can't even tell who she's speaking too. Unless...yeah something's up.

More Lovelace: At night when alone? Noise in the walls? Um...Blessie? Empty man? Anyone?

Another crew member died. Oh dear. It seems Dr. Selburg survived a good while. I hope that's not Hilbert's alias.

Oh. The crew member who died. He had a family too. 🥺.

Cutter needs to be ended.

Lovelace, I don't think Goddard Futuristics ever cared to begin with. Sam Lambert. So that's his name.

Run and hide? Dr. Selburg and Lovelace have a way off? Um...maybe don't tell them that. But I love the attitude.

Eiffel, this seems like a bit of a happy attitude, if they got away, then um... where are they now?

A message for who?

I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. OH I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT IT'S SELBURG BUT ALSO HILBERT ISN'T IT AND HE TOTALLY MURDERED LOVELACE OH HE IS SO GETTING TOSSED OUT THE AIRLOCK NOW!

Oh I do not have time for one more episode...but... dang it I just saw the title. I have to know. First I'm gonna listen to Goodbye Earl by the Dixie Chicks to pump myself up.

One moment please.

Episode 19: Let's Kill Hilbert

And...we're back! Now it's time to say goodbye to our crazy science friend. Adios Hilbert you will not be missed! 👋 First we toss you out the airlock, and then it's back to earth to finish off Mr. Cutter and company!

Does Hilbert know enough to justify keeping him on board? The real question is: will he share enough?

And listen to Hera. She might have things she's trying to tell you as best she can.

Hera...oh Hera has PTSD. Oh dear Hera.

Um... is she trying to kill them? In comedically obvious ways so that they notice? No wonder she needs Hilbert dead, what if he gave her bad code again? Or maybe she’s just experiencing trauma.

Mincowski! No! She's trying to save you! Please just throw Hilbert out the airlock, I listened to Dixie Chicks for this! I hyped myself up!

Did Hera just say "I'm dead?"

Hera. Hera are you trying to kill Doug? Doug, I trust Hera too, but I do not trust Hilbert! Okay...looks like we're good...

Never mind.

Eiffel. What is happening? Are you on laughing gas? Are you being drugged? Oh dear. Hera what did you do?

Wait. Why is HE losing air? Hera...were you trying to kill Hilbert?

Do machines dream electric sheep? Was that Hilbert? What happened to Hilbert? OH NO.

"You're going to unplug me anyway at least I can do this for the two of you" oh Hera 🥺

I love it. Save our moron!

And everyone's okay.

Doug knows Hera's there. Aw, he's making her feel better. And she's back! 🥰

Wait. What about Hilbert? What about interrogating him about being the other doctor guy? What about killing him? Man, what a bummer.

Oh well. we can always hope. Maybe next time he can finally die. Or at least give us some information.

Episode 20: The Paranoia Game

I really should not be listening to more, but I have an exam tomorrow, and nothing gets me motivated like good old procrastination. Besides, it's not like I had much of a chance on that thing anyway. Oh, I mean, um: Don't listen to me kids, studying is important. But you'll understand if you get to certain level of school at a certain age. You discover that some things that you thought were bad and confusing are actually much more bad and confusing than you could have ever imagined.

Anyway, let's get into it.

Oh good some info on Hilbert's past missions. Hilbert it is ABSOLUTELY relevant. You were experimenting on humans without their consent!

Lovelace was incinerated? Hilbert, for your sake, you better hope that's not true.

Who is listening to this?

Oh dear Hilbert is out of his cage. And YES the handcuffs are necessary. Hilbert has some nerve asking these questions.

"Why am I in cuffs. Seriously all I did was try to kill you. So dramatic🙄"

Irregularity in backup life support? What was that?

Screwdriver is missing. Huh. I wonder where it could have gone...check his pockets.

But then there is the empty man...and Blessie...

Shut up Hilbert. You had someone else help you get the screwdriver. The invisible empty man or someone else. Your promises mean NOTHING Hilbert.

✨ Nooooooooooooo... ✨

Oh you know who took it do you Hilbert? BLAMING THE ROBOT? She has a NAME Hilbert. And if she wanted you dead, she could do that in much worse ways than stealing the screw driver.

"Everything is always Hilbert's fault"

IT KIND OF IS HILBERT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO GET ON YOUR HIGH "I WOULD NEVER STEAL A SCREW DRIVER HORSE" YOU TRIED TO MURDER EVERYONE.

And do you REALLY think even IF Hera did this, that her whole plan is gonna go like this: "Well we were cool with Hilbert being on board earlier, but GASP! a stolen screwdriver? I can deal with multiple counts of attempted murder and unethical experimentation, but this is simply a bridge too far. TO THE AIRLOCK!"

Yeah. And also. How does she steal the screw driver?

Oh goodness. She is the brains you are...not brains.😂

Hilbert. YOU are the one involved in a conspiracy. You're seeing plots where there aren't any. I guess the old saying is true. The wicked run from no one.

"How do you like that" "I like it just fine"

...no comment.

Oh poor commander. I hope they didn't...

...oh they did.

Good heavens. Have you all forgotten about Blessie? Have you all forgotten about the empty man?

"Mistake Eiffel was going to make"..."Evil plan Hilbert was cooking up" PLEASE 😂😂😂

I love that these are the same voice actor. It makes in 20x funnier too.

The perfect crime? Do you know how crazy you sound?

Poor Mincowski. She needs to go back home and be with her husband. After all this she deserves it.

Hilbert. It involves Large powerful magnet. 😂😂🧲

Yes PLEASE put your clothes back on. Good heavens.

Ah yes. Those sounds. PLEASE question them.

What if we are not the only ones here? FINALLY. Hilbert, I don't like you but at least we're getting to...wait Hera I thought you did detect something moving about earlier.

WHAT IS GOING FOR THE TOOL BOX?

Tentacle with a flower? Of course, Percival B. Eternal, you silly goof!

But uh...why would it want a screw driver? EXACTLY! It is a bad thing! Why has no one been asking more questions about this?

Well hopefully we'll FINALLY get more of dear Blessie. Thank you for listening to my reactions my friends. I'm enjoying season 2, and hope to have more for you soon. Bye-bye.

#Bods Wolf359 Reactions #Wolf359 reactions #Wolf 359 reaction #wolf 359 reactions #wolf 359 #wolf359 #renee minkowski #doug eiffel #hera wolf 359

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bogkeep · 8 months

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look, the kingkiller chronicle (the name of the wind + a wise man's fear, by patrick rothfuss) is not a perfect series or anything, i love it a lot but i have Opinions - but. it IS one of those book series that's lodged itself very deeply into my brain for better and for worse. it lives there now, along with animorphs (a series i haven't read since i was a preteen) and some other friends. you know how it is!!

anyway every now i think about a Thing from kkc and it's like. i need to talk about this. i don't know who to talk about this to. hence: my blog. and usually the thing i need to talk about is the adem. for those who haven't read kkc, the adem is one of the people's in this fantasy setting. their country and culture is very isolationist, their only export are mercenaries (Very Good Mercenaries Who Know Martial Art Secrets), they have a very different culture than the rest of the continent and therefore come across as very strange and mysterious. from a worldbuilding perpective, i think the adem are super cool. i love that rothfuss really leaned into developing a very different culture, even if there's... Some Things That Do Not Scan.

in the story, we find out that their culture is matriarchal, and they consider their women to be better fighters than their men. in fact, we find out they regard men as lesser because they don't realize that men contribute to uh, the creation of children. their culture is very big on casual sex and i don't think they do marriages or pairings like that at all, so their belief is that women Just Get Pregnant Sometimes! which is a fresh and fascinating take on the fantasy trope of "hmm how would a matriarchal society work" but ALSO. also. this would not happen. this could not happen in a world where queer people exist. there are canonically gay and bi people in these books. obviously i was reading this as a baby ace and was like HMMMMMMMM DOUBT. i cannot suspend my disbelief enough to think that every single woman in ademre would want to have (cisheterosexual) intercourse frequently enough for this to be a believable assumption, especially if there's no societal pressure to do it for reproduction!!! IT SIMPLY DOES NOT SCAN.

like, it's not that i'm a stranger to fiction ignoring the fact that Maybe Not Everyone In The World Wants Sex, that's kind of the eternal background noise of 95% of all media. i think maybe this one instance drives me nuts because from an aro perspective, i LOVE some funky fresh Alternative Family Structure worldbuilding and separating sex from romance. but then the sex thing. this whole thing is like.... an aro W but an ace L. it made it so far and then fell flat on its face. screams!!!!

THIS WASN'T EVEN THE THING I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THOUGH. i just can't bring up the adem without talking about What The Fuck Was Up With That. the other very cool part of worldbuilding is how the adem express themselves - they keep their faces blank, but express emotions through hand gestures. and today................... i finally made the connection between This and Autism. I SHOULD'VE MADE IT SOONER. i've been recently coming to realise i don't really watch people's body language or expressions very closely irl - i don't know if it's because i'm bad at reading it, or if i just live in scandinavia and i think we're not so big on body language/eye contact over here, so there's not much information for me to extract? a lot of people tell me that they communicate a lot better when meeting people in person, and i kind of, can not relate to this very much? i can not think of anything i get from meeting people in person that i can't get over text except the speed of conversation. like, sure, there's Tone of Voice but i don't always find it the most reliable piece of information, either. in fact text makes it easier to parse the words and gives me the time and space to reply appropriately. THIS IS PROBABLY A ME THING. I MAY BE MORE AUTISTIC THEN I THOUGHT. welcome to my favourite game of "is it the autism or is it scandinavia"

BUT. i gesture with my hands A Lot. many people have pointed this out to me. i have no idea how expressive i am with my face, but i'm Very expressive with my hands!!! i haven't really thought about this until recently and that's when. the memory of the adem struck again. THEIR NEUTRAL FACES AND THEIR EXPRESSIVE GESTURES..................... NO EYE CONTACT, WATCH THE HANDS....................................... what a fantastic concept. i would adopt this if i could. it does make me wonder though, would it be easier or harder to be autistic in a culture like that? you would still need to learn hand expressions and all the subtle social rules... but it seems more accessible to me, somehow.

anyway that was tonight's KKC thought. it was autism

#haiz reads things #not something i've read in a while but im having THOUGHTS #anyway i figured out how to post this pot on this very functional website #made a draft and copypasted each parapraph in one at a time and saved inbetween

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munchkinfox-the-deviant-fox · 1 year

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Tell Me About Your MC!

I wanna know more about people's precious babies!

Name

Gender/Sexuality/Age

Do they have any special talents?

What do they want more than anything?

What is their main goal?

What is getting in the way of achieving that goal?

What are they passionate about?

What are some of their quirks?

What do they love?

What do they hate?

What are their flaws?

What do they look like? (pic or description!)

What are their bad habits?

What's their backstory?

What is the most important thing to them and how do they protect it?

What else is important about your MC? Tell me all about it and don't you dare hold back! I want to hear it!!!

Here's all about my MC!

Rhene (read as Renée or 'reh-nay') but only her mother calls her that. Everyone else calls her Rhen.

CIS Female, Heterosexual, 27 at Season 1

Her special talent is her insight and problem-solving abilities. She's really good at understanding other perspectives and helping others find the optimal solution to whatever their issue is. However, whenever she's involved in the problem situation, she's like a cat in a paper-bag and can't problem-solve for her life.

Rhen wants to live a life where she's happy.

Rhen's main goal changes over time. When she first arrived to the Devildom, she just wanted to learn and practice magic. Rhen's story deviates from canon, but past season 2, Rhen's goal is to help and support Diavolo in his dream in whatever way she can.

Rhen is passionate about music and demonology. For Rhen, music helps her express and regulate her emotions, and then she became really invested in learning about Devildom history and about the different life forms that exist.

Rhen is super sensitive to heat. It's why she never wears her hair down. It isn't until Asmo teaches her a charm that she starts to wear her hair down. Almost never wear a bra. Rhen can lie but doesn't like to. 95% when she does lie, she purposefully makes it obvious that she's lying; in a sarcastic kind of way.

Rhen loves physical touch. This girl has been so touch starved for so long and touch is one of her displays of affection so she's constantly wanting to have some sort of contact with her friends or partners. Rhen LOVES Cheese. Mac 'n Cheese is her favorite food and the brothers quickly got tired of eating it whenever she was in charge of making dinner that they made a rule that she could only make the dish once a month.

She hates being told what to do. It immediately triggers her chaotic-brat mode. It's just her immediate reaction even if it's something reasonable.

Rhen struggles to not try and manage other people's feelings/reactions in any given situation. It really interferes with her ability to communicate effectively because the impulse to manage other people will sometimes keep her from communicating when she needs to.

13. Rhen has a bad habit of not showering when her depression gets bad, especially her hair. Since she throws it up into a bun, it's usually not noticable. Asmo has been a big help in this department and has helped her keep a more regular routine.

14. Rhen grew up with a perfectly average, white, middle class family lifestyle. Her mother was a helicopter parent and it created a strained relationship as Rhen grew up. Graduating high school, Rhen immediately went to university by her parents' insistence. She graduated with a Linguistics major and a minor in Japanese & Latin. She worked as a Copy Editor for a few different publishing houses, then went freelance and struggled financially. At one point she was shopping at a resale store when she heard the woman behind the counter stressing over paperwork and she couldn’t figure out how to fix, organize, and digitize it. Rhen offered to help her, showed her the process, but the woman (a board member of the nonprofit) was still confused and overwhelmed. She asked Rhen how she knew all this and Rhen told her how organizing, editing and perfecting stuff was her job. So she offered to pay Rhen to do the job and since she wasn’t making much off of freelance work (and she felt bad leaving the mess for this woman who clearly had no idea how to do this) she agreed. Eventually became hired and took on more responsibility, essentially becoming their Communications Specialist which included helping manage their website, and offered services of going over people’s resumes to help perfect them. A few years go by and the woman who brought her on ended up getting ousted by the board (bullshit politics that boiled down to her wanting to be efficient at giving people the aid and resources they need and the rest of the board wanting to pull in as much money as possible, even though that's not what a nonprofit is for) and Rhen's pay was cut to the point where she had to quit. This is around the time Rhen decides to study abroad before beginning a Master's program.

15. To Rhen, her relationship with the brothers and Diavolo are the most important thing to her. Before coming to the Devildom, Rhen always avoided confrontation, even to the detriment of herself or others. However, Rhen has grown to no longer let things slide and she will do whatever is necessary to protect her people.

16. Rhen's childhood left it's mark on her in the fact way that, she had friends, but for one reason or another, she was typically an after thought; not someone her friends cared if she came along or not. It left Rhen with a desperate need for affection (not even in a romantic aspect), so Rhen developed some unhealthy behavior where she believed that others would only value her if she provided goods or services to the relationship. Her best friend she met in high school became her only support system and a unhealthy co-dependent relationship developed between the two of them. They eventually worked through the toxic traits and now maintain a healthy relationship. Rhen, though, is still working through a lot of self-deprecating, toxic behaviors, but the life she's building in the Devildom has been a positive effect.

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